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WAS FUNNY TO FIND THE THINGS

I can’t just go do other things, because I pay my bills by writing plays. The minute playwriting became a job, it became boring. I think it’s partly because I never had a practice where I wake up every morning and write. I’ve just started doing that, and now I like writing in a new way.

SHYGIRL: I start every song by finding that phrase that makes me say, Where the fuck am I taking this? That’s what I’ve been trying to do in the studio recently by taking away the direction and not knowing for sure if I’m making a dance record. That leaves me vulnerable, because I’ve built a fan base through alternative electronic music. It’s harder, at this stage, to give an audience a different sound and expect them to stay with you. I’m still in my introductory phase, even if there is some notoriety.

HARRIS: Do you worry about losing people?

SHYGIRL: I might lose them, and I need to be okay with that. In the end, I’m the only one who needs to stay onboard. As long as I’m engaged, there is more to come.

HARRIS: In theater, there’s this idea of the “emerging playwright” and the “established playwright.” There are emerging playwrights who’ve been writing plays much longer than I have, but because I’ve been to Broadway, I’m no longer allowed that title. But I still need to believe that I’m an emerging playwright, right? If I don’t remember that my voice is still growing, I’m going to plateau.

SHYGIRL: You almost have to split yourself in two. There’s the side of you that’s aware of how people see you, and the side that you keep naive. The latter is the artistic one that sees things brandnew every day.

HARRIS: How do you keep that side protected?

SHYGIRL: I change my environment a lot. I say yes to things that make me nervous. I articulate my feelings to those around me. Recently, I stopped partying so much. I didn’t have an issue, I just thought, Let me see what this makes room for.

HARRIS: What has that felt like?

SHYGIRL: Things fall into place when you let them. I was on tour when I made that decision, and fell completely into the bubble of a relationship. I was never the type of person to dive in like that—I was into my autonomy. It turned my ideas about myself upside-down. I turned 30 this month, so I’m having my whole mid-life situation, but I’m also able to make braver creative decisions because of the work I’ve done and its reception. I’m so grateful to my audience for that, but I hope they trust me with whatever I choose next.

AHEAD OF THE RELEASE OF HIS NEW RECORD, NO JACK SWING, AND THE OPENING OF HIS DEBUT SOLO SHOW, “ANTI-ALTER EGO,” AT NEW YORK’S TROTTER&SHOLER GALLERY THIS SUMMER, BRONTEZ PURNELL DM’ED HIS FRIEND, MUSICIAN STEVE LACY, FOR A CONVERSATION ABOUT GATEKEEPING, WITCHCRAFT, AND BEING THE LOUDEST ONE IN THE ROOM.

BY STEVE LACY PHOTOGRAPHY BY OLIVER YAN

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