The Spot Mag~ Celebrating Women in Business (July/August)

spot mag

CELEBRATING WOMEN IN BUSINESS

THE

July/August 2019 MI N D F U L N E SS :

PART NER ENVY HOMECOMING (B EY )ON D FAS H I O N

B O DY & B R I D A L

A LO O K AT BO DY I M AG E I N T HE B RI D A L I N D U STRY

J U L Y / A U G U S T 2 0 19

J U Y / A U G U S T 2 0 19

Crystal’s Ball

IN THIS

Issue

EMBRACING ALL ASPECTS OF YOU!

EMOTIONAL FOR ECAST

p ag e4

CRYSTAL’S R EAL ESTATE TIP S

p ag e 5

CRYSTAL’S CHAMP IONS

p ag e 6

MIND FUL NESS

p ag e 8

FAS HION

p ag e 14

NATIONAL WOMEN

p ag e 18

It’s Summertime and everyone is caught up with Summer bodies - the conflict between what you want to wear and what you feel too old to wear, as well as questioning as a business professional what people might think.

How many times do we as women really shortchange our experiences for the benefit of others?

FEATUR E p ag e 24

Feature: Body & Bridal See the article on page 24 Cover photo by Nikki Nauman Photography.

Hair and Makeup Adrianne Jackson.

Styled by Brittany Swearingen.

Contributors C O- FO U N D E R & EDITORIAL DIRECTOR:

C R E ATI VE D I R E C TO R :

During this cover shoot, I definitely wasn’t the “size/ weight” I wanted to be. But, guess what? I knew the vision I had for the July/August issue, and I didn’t allow imperfection to get in the way!

I hope you guys get to experience the authentic and genuine energy that’s behind these 40+ pages.

Sometimes we hit the mark, and other times I reflect back on different components with thoughts like, “It could have been better.” But, just like this cover shoot, I never let PERFECTION get in the way of PROGRESS, as I’m allowing myself to experience life with no limits.

CRYSTAL SWEARINGEN

DARYL BELL

I would encourage you this summer to GO ALL OUT AND BE YOU! And do so unapologetically! Experience new things, speak your mind more, work on being you 100% of the time.

W R I TE R S: BRIT TANY SWEARINGEN

ANTHONY GONZALEZ ANIK A JACKSON CRYSTAL SWEARINGEN ANGIE WILLIAMS K AHEAL ANI ROBERTSON

P H OTO GR APH Y:

And, you know what? Put on that bikini or short romper you’ve always wanted to wear and STRUT YOUR STUFF - because “GIRL YOU ARE FIERCE AND YOU GOT THIS!!”

Crystal

NIKKI NAUMAN

The Spot Mag

@the.spot.mag

Crystal Swearingen, Co-Founder | Editorial Director

women@thespotmag.com

EMOTIONAL FORECAST

W

e’ve made it to my favorite next few months. Days full of sunshine and later nights with friends, family, and all the fresh veggies a girl could ask for.

4

July feels amazing and has the ability to bring much needed laughter and memorable opportunities.

Times have been challenging recently, and with the sun at its fullest capacity, we can finally shed some light on the darkness in our lives.

You may wonder what the whirlwind of emotions has been about over the past few months, but just understand all of this was needed for you to clearly see what’s here.

You and your magnificent soul have made it through a shift. The mountains are being moved, and you’re no longer the person you used to be.

CRYSTAL’S REAL ESTATE TIPS

August has all the feelings of July, but now you’re really settling into it’s comforts, instead of waiting for the proverbial ball to drop. Drink in all the joy summer has to offer and continue to push through the old, defeating thoughts that may try to make an appearance from time to time.

And, if you temporarily have one of those dark moments, try this: take a deep breath, ask these mountains to be moved, remember you’re no longer the same person, and acknowledge the fact that today is a new day. Remember this mantra on less sunny days - and watch the clouds fade away.

5

! "

"

CRYSTAL CLEAR REALTY

LOOKING FOR AN AGENT?

Have a blessed summer!

Love, The Southern Psychic

Take all that has gotten you this far. Reflect without re-living the emotions, and take with you the lesson. You’re going to be stronger now, so the decisions you make from this point forward will be from your highest, intuitive self. Things are finally starting to “feel� peaceful and right.

THE SOUTHERN PSYCHIC OFFIERS TAROT CARD READINGS EVERY THURSDAY AT CRYSTAL’S SPOT 4:30-7:30PM

Buying or Selling The Choice is Crystal Clear 785-550-3424 www.CrystalClearSells.com

Crystal Swearingen Broker/Owner

Natalia Price 785-312-2056

CRYSTAL’S CHAMPIONS taught me determination, dedication, and perseverance, along with an attitude of “we don’t go home until the job is done for the day.”

Linking up with Lisa

FOR YOUNG PROFESSIONAL WOMEN JUST STARTING IN THEIR CAREERS, WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE THEM? Learn all you can about the career you’re seeking and take every opportunity to find education about the business you’re in. Balancing family and career is tough sometimes, but you will find a way to do both. At times it’s exhausting, but if you don’t give up, you’ll be rewarded by both pursuits in the end.

Sometimes you have to work hard to prove yourself, but you will ultimately be very proud of what you have done if you persist.

LISA HENRY, MANAGER, SECURITY 1ST TITLE

6

HOW DID YOU GET INTO TITLE INSURANCE? I lived in a small town in Western Kansas, Scott City. I was married, had two little girls, and needed a job. A very respectable woman took me in at Scott County Abstract & Title.

Three years of my time were spent building abstracts, researching, examining, and typing title commitments and policies. Through that time, I went through a divorce and moved from the farm into this small town. After three more years, I commuted 35 miles to Garden City to become an assistant for two top Real Estate Agents. After an additional year, I decided I’d missed doing research and went back to the Title Industry with a firm in Garden City. I became manager of that title company in two months, and two years later became President of the company. Through my time with that company, I opened title companies in Liberal and Wichita for the owner. Then, in 2003, I was approached by the owner of Capital Title Insurance Company in Topeka, requesting that I open a title company in Lawrence. I moved here in June, a single mother of two, beautiful teenage daughters, and one of them still works with me today. Capital Title was purchased by Security 1st Title in November, 2015, and I remained Manager, along with opening Closing Offices in Basehor and Leavenworth.

WHAT ARE SOME EXPERIENCES YOU HAVE HAD THAT HAVE REALLY BEEN CHALLENGING AND HOW DID YOU OVERCOME THEM? Growing a business is quite a large undertaking. In addition, finding a great team to help build the business was probably one of the most challenging facets. I feel very secure that, when I market with customers, my team has my back and can produce the product we are promising.

.

IN ADDITION TO RUNNING ONE OF, IF NOT THE, BUSIEST TITLE COMPANIES IN DOUGLAS COUNTY, WHAT ARE THE THINGS YOU ENJOY DOING IN TERMS OF PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT/NETWORKING, I.E., CHAMBER, ROTARY CLUB, ST PATRICK’S DAY PARADE, ETC.?

I am a member of the Chamber of Commerce, a big supporter of the Lawrence Board of Realtors and the charities they support, as well as heavily involved with Lawrence Home Builders, and a former Board Member of American Red Cross and President Elect of the Kansas Land Title Association.

WHAT HAVE YOU LEARNED FROM MANAGING SUCH A BUSY OFFICE? Leadership depends on how well your team works together, along with managing your time. I try to teach all of my employees everything that I know, because the more they know, the better they will do. Delegation was a hard one for me, as I want to do it all, but I’ve found this just isn’t possible. Growing up on a farm

ANYTHING ELSE YOU WOULD LIKE TO SHARE? Could be about being a mom, working with your daughter, grand babies, community involvement, ~ or anything you’re passionate about! Being a single mom for 25 years, my daughters grew up to be my friends. My oldest daughter and husband live back in Western Kansas and have two of the biggest

loves of my life – my Grandchildren! Also, I am so fortunate to have my youngest daughter, Lacey, working with me. It’s been a wonderful pleasure to watch each of them grow up to be the women I’d hoped they’d be. I ultimately re-married and have two bonus children, with two more lovely grandchildren. I’ve always poured my heart and soul into my work, and nothing makes me smile more than to make others smile when they’re finished buying their home, or I help an agent work out a complicated issue and get it resolved. My favorite stress reliever is gardening, as I love to dig in the dirt, create new gardens, and sit back to admire the great accomplishment and see that all the hard work has paid off.

Crystal’s Champions is dedicated to strong and inspirational women and organizations that are making a difference in the community. To nominate a Champion, email us at women@thespotmag.com

7

MINDFULNESS

envy PARTNER

BY ANTHONY GONZALEZ, LCSW

L

et’s be honest - our relationships are not perfect.

8

No matter what we post on social media, how grand we make our lives, or how financially or professionally successful we become, we still face the challenges of our human imperfection in our relationships. Particularly in our ever-opening society and the digital outlets of our lives, I am seeing an increasing vulnerability to toxic comparisons between and within our most important relationships.

Envy, from an emotional experience perspective, is rooted in the way in which we compare ourselves to others and judge our experience as somehow “less than,” often resulting in a fragile ego state or poor sense of self worth. We are equals, plain and simple.

Yet, even in my own marriage of 17 years, I have found myself victim to these intrusive emotions. My wife is a natural with communication. She can hold a conversation with anyone. For many years, this was a fairly persistent struggle of mine, and I would often find myself feeling envy of her. Ques-

tions persisted like “What is wrong with me?” and “Why can’t this come more easily to me?”

Envy often manifests in relationships when our insecurities or feelings of inferiority go unchecked, and one partner (or both) begins to judge their experience or station in life. This will often lead to anger, which becomes toxic in the relationship. When we are unsure how to communicate this emotion, or even understand its function, it will be suppressed or projected unfairly onto our partner. We tend to envy when we think our lives would be “better” with the things, characteristics, titles, money, etc., that others seem to have. And, this ultimately serves to erode the beauty, gratitude, and appreciation for what and who you already are in your relationship.

Envy also grows out of our struggle with self-worth. We compare ourselves to those with “more” influence, or who we find as “more” attractive, “more” successful, and “more” intelligent. This creates a perceived imbalance in achievement, and this experience can also be tied to social, gender, and cultural expectations.

“We are equals, plain and simple.”

For our entire marriage, my wife has been the breadwinner (which I am grateful for!), and it would be very easy for me to fall into envy given our strong cultural expectations, which I’m glad are finally shifting. I feel sure many successful women reading this can relate to the challenge of balancing our unspoken cultural expectations and their own drive to excel. Partner envy can manifest in relationships when we lose trust that our partner is happy with us or may fear they would be happier with someone else (enter jealousy). The primary difference here is that envy is desire for what you do not have, while jealousy is fear of losing what we are attached to and that which we feel is threatened. And, both are rooted in self-judgment, insecurity, and shame.

The most important step in both understanding and working to change this potential pattern in a relationship is to better differenti-

ate our “Primary” and “Secondary” emotions.

Primary emotions are what we truly feel, at our core. Secondary emotions are often what we show that we feel. For example, I may feel like a poor husband because I don’t make as much money as the next door neighbor (Primary) and begin to envy their “stuff.” If I don’t know how to be vulnerable and honest about these feelings, I will likely express that in anger (Secondary) toward my partner, criticizing or withdrawing. We project these emotions out as they normally feel safer than the raw vulnerability of our Primary emotions, and yet, little in our lives is resolved by only dealing with the Secondary surface.

Another area I have observed with many in my practice is that we can develop envy within our relationship when we have children.

Maybe your child responds to one parent better than the other. Or, one parent may end up

9

spending more time with a child than the other. If we judge our role, this can become insidious. We struggle to find our value if we are hyper-focused on what we lack in comparison to others, rather than focusing on our own strengths and capabilities.

How do we overcome this?

Get ‘straight up honest’ with ourselves.

Sometimes we shy away from these types of emotions because they can be so uncomfortable and can breed shame. When we’re open with our partners, we open dialogue that alleviates our fears of self-judgment or rejection. This can work to create closer bonds when we allow for these more intimate disclosures, and it can create greater understanding of how you see yourself within the relationship.

10

Be vulnerable with your partner. Share these feelings if they are becoming intrusive on the relationship. Opening the door to how one feels about the self works to build trust and allows for you as a couple to walk more closely together. This type of openness will hopefully create dialogue and opportunity for reciprocal validation and change.

Let envy be instructive. If there are things you want, GREAT! Couples can always improve. Let those who are better or more successful be guides rather than the mirror by which we negatively judge ourselves.

Don’t simply try to keep up with the Joneses – instead learn from them. I can honestly say that I have learned to be a good business man from my wife. I still to this day run every decision by her, not simply out of respect, but more because I believe she knows more about business than I do, and I deeply value her instruction and insight.

Apply transactional health in your relationship. There is always a healthy give

and take within strong relationships. Each of you fills different roles, and that is okay.

You can grow in appreciation for one another’s strengths when you are receiving validation of your own. Learn to accept the Yin and Yang that likely drew you together.

Praise your partner for the strengths and the qualities that you truly value. This can lead to genuine Balance in the relationship.

Be Mindful. Acceptance of where you are remains the only way to truly work toward change. You’re building greater appreciation and gratitude for the strengths that each of you share and how this contributes to YOUR relationship, instead of comparing to others. Acceptance of the present moment is the truest form of esteem. And, mindfulness of non-judgment will help clear self-critique clouded by Secondary emotions.

If you are finding yourself lost in the confusion of toxic envy, work to get open and honest, and challenge the perceived catastrophe of vulnerability. And, with this deeper understanding, you will ultimately help one another to be better both individually and as a couple!

If your checking account isn’t paying you, it isn’t paying attention.

Ask for free rewards checking

HOME

Where your story happens.

Anthony is the Clinical Director at The Delray Center in Delray Beach, FL, which is one of the most clinically and medically advanced mental health treatment centers in the United States.

Anthony is a proud alumnus of the University of Kansas School of Social Welfare. Anthony has advanced therapeutic training in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy and Prolonged Exposure Therapy.

meet kate & michelle - they are your people Start your home buying journey with them today.

Kate White | 785-228-8012 kate.white@envistacu.com | NMLS 979302 Michelle Fales | 785-331-7589 michelle.fales@envistacu.com |NMLS 780009

ReGain Services Bio-Identical Hormone Replacement Therapy for Men and Women Weight Loss/Body ReComposition B-12 and Lipotropic MIC Injections for Energy, and Fat Loss 12

Man Shot and O-Shot™ Utilizing Platelet Rich Plasma (PRP)

Stem Life Services Umbilical Stem Cell Therapy Non-Surgical Option to Aid in Healing www.ifeelmuchbetter.com www.livestemcells.com

Extraordinary results including accelerated healing, regenerated cells, and NO downtime Reduces Pain and Inflammation

Leawood 11111 Nall Suite 218 Leawood, KS 66211 913.291.8555

Lawrence 1201 Wakarusa Building C, Suite 2 Lawrence, KS 66049 913.291.8555

Manhattan 1213 Hylton Heights Rd Suite 117 Manhattan, KS 66502 785.393.7525

FASHION

Homecoming (BEY)OND FASHION

BY BRIT TANY SWEARINGEN

A

s The absolute worst part about watching Beyoncé’s homecoming was my roommate’s presence that required me to stifle my squeals of pure joy. Every time Beyoncé smacked her own ass, I could swear that five years were added to my life expectancy!

The film immediately enthralled me with her presence in an Egyptian inspired cape and headpiece, decked out to the maximum by designer Olivier Rousteing from Balmain. The costume was designed in the image of Queen Nefertiti - a nod to the often-overlooked African roots of African Americans. And, let me just say this: Each outfit was impeccably custom-designed with a message at its soul, with every color

carefully selected, and every crest specially created to saturate this performance with artistry.

15

The effect was well worth it. The main theme of this performance centralized on emulating the experience of a historically Black college or university (HBCU), an experience most of us will not have and are dramatically unfamiliar with. Beyoncé, with the help of Balmain, created her own sorority in her clothes and her own history with graphics that translated into a truly encapsulating vision.

I won’t bother discussing further the details behind the design process, only because O Magazine did it better than I. But, in all honesty, my critical cap went out the window the moment Queen Bey came on stage with those iconic silver fringe boots. In place of description, I’ll simply state that the result of this col-

laboration between designer and artist seems the perfect example of excellence achieved through sublime vision and intense dedication.

I must admit watched this film not on the release date, but in late May. As many may know, Pride Month was then approaching. The idea of pride itself had been and continues to be on my mind frequently, and I’m not sure there have been many moments in my life filled with pride as there were watching Beyoncé perform with an all-black cast at Coachella via my computer. My tender heart was not prepared for the cascade of emotion that only grew in ferocity as each surprise guest appeared.

I found myself simultaneously rooting for Jay-Z, seeing myself in Bey’s young dancers and musicians, fathoming the physical trauma of giving birth, and feeling exhausted by this insane performance, as this unexpected introspection into Beyoncé’s life took me on her own emotional journey.

And, as displaced as I may sometimes feel in this world, the feelings of delight and joy that Beyoncé gave me through this creative experience could never be revoked or damaged.

For those glorious 137 minutes, I was stable, confident, and proud in my identity. For 137 minutes, I felt like I attended this HBCU with Beyoncé and the dozen or so others on stage with her, and we were all family. For 137 minutes, nothing else was important, as I lived in the realm of this documentary -

and that is no small feat accomplished by a directorial debut. And, I hope to see more masterpieces from this astonishing woman in years to come, as well as from the brilliant designers collaborating with her.

Brittany Swearingen is a freshman at KU studying strategic communication in the Journalism School.

She is ursuing a career in fashion, while working as a Team Leader at Urban Outfitters.

16

17

Brittany Swearingen is a freshman at KU studying strategic communication in the Journalism School. She is pursuing a career in fashion, while working as a Team Leader at Urban Outfitters.

700 massachusetts • lawrence kansas • (785) 331 4622

NATIONAL NEWS

zen

How to find your amongst changing hormones

BY ANIK A JACKSON , WITH AMY FRANK, CERTIFIED PHYSICAL ASSISTANT

18

As women, every stage of life brings about changes in our bodies that we are not always equipped or happy to encounter. While we may take better care of ourselves and look younger than we’d consider most women to look in the past, we still deal with significant changes as we age - similar to adolescence, but far less exciting! A few of these include the difficulty in losing weight after forty, the hardships of having heavy periods, adult acne, facial hair, and vitamin deficiencies (who hasn’t been told they have a Vitamin D deficiency as a busy adult?).

As the global community becomes more connected, the marriage between Western and Eastern medicine has become more common.

Amy Frank, PA-C, is one medical professional who has realized that for many women, this may very well

be the combination that provides the best result for new hormonal issues. Ms. Frank began her journey in medicine at Texas A&M University, graduating in 1993 with a Bachelor of Science in Biomedical Science. Shortly after graduation, she enrolled at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston, Texas, where she began her studies in the Physician Assistant Program.

While at Baylor, she represented her school on the Texas Association of Physician Assistants Board. During completion of her graduate studies, she worked at The Texas Heart Institute in the research department, studying the Abiomed heart assist and the total artificial heart. She completed her thesis on the quality of life for heart transplant recipients over the age of 65, and she graduated with a Master of Science

Shanquita Greggs, Founder of Simply Scents.

NATIONAL NEWS

Degree in Physician Assistant studies in 1996. She began practicing medicine in Katy, Texas, in 1996 and has enjoyed practicing as a primary care physician assistant in the area ever since.

to healing including nutraceuticals, acupressure, and cellular balancing. She has been able to integrate these philosophies into her traditional practice to provide a more well-rounded approach to both disease and wellness.

When she began practicing, Amy quickly developed an interest in pre- About twenty years ago, Ms. Frank expanded her studies to include addressing the body as a whole rather than compartmentalizing body systems. Through cellular restoration and treatment of inflammatory responses, she feels she has been able to offer a more individualized and comprehensive approach to primary medical problems, including sex and thyroid hormone balancing, adrenal challenge and fatigue, gut issues, acute and chronic medical conditions, and preventive medicine.

She enjoys incorporating many different modalities to meet her patients’ needs, such as natural herbs, dietary and food supports, ventive care, women’s health, and bioidentical hormones, and prescripadolescent medicine. After many tion therapy. She prides herself on years of attempting to individualize developing a personal relationship treatment plans to meet the specif- with her clients and believes this ic needs of her patients, she found helps her address all aspects of paherself looking beyond traditional tient care.

Western-based medicine and began studying a more holistic approach Amy reflects, “As I was beginning my

“...she found herself looking beyond traditional Western-based medicine and began studying a more holistic approach to healing...”

21

own medical practice, I found that I began dealing with unresolved health issues and was alarmed at the lack of Western medicine and know-how to solve them. It was only by approaching the whole body and really looking at adrenal and hormonal issues, as well as Eastern medicine, where I became able to realize that I could not only help myself, but other women in the same or similar situations.”

stressed out, fatigued, depressed, anxious, disinterested in sex, and have difficulty staying awake or getting going, a common factor is Adrenal Fatigue. Adrenal Fatigue is very common and the underlying culprit to many chronic diseases like hormone imbalance, cardiovascular disease, and immune insufficiency. Your adrenal glands are the work-horses within your body. If you are exhausted, chances are, your adrenals — and • Another issue apparent in most their partner, the thyroid — need atwomen’s lives these days is the tention. dreaded S-word – Stress! If you feel

Real. Local. Lending.

The adrenal glands are the walnut-shaped organs that are found above the kidneys, and they’re responsible for producing stress hormones such as DHEA, cortisol, epinephrine, and norepinephrine. Adrenal support is vitally needed, not only for your “fight and flight” response that occurs when you are in danger, but also for your everyday needs to maintain normal blood glucose levels and to help burn off your fats while keeping your energy levels high.

Optimal glandular health remains vital for a better metabolism and the ability to have energy. Maintaining a healthy stress response is necessary for total body wellness, as well as supporting the systems that aid the body in responding to stress as it occurs to achieve a better

quality of life.

Part of Ms. Frank’s practice includes a new line of products specially formulated for women’s ever-changing health issues and needs, called Zentigue. Frank explains, “At our practice, we chose to create our own brand and formularies so that we could provide the best ingredients for every symptom women face and focus on the real, underlying issues, as opposed to just masking the symptoms. And, this approach has made a huge difference in my own life, as well as those of countless women who come through our practice!”

“Life can be a beautiful, crazy mess sometimes. Believe me, I know. That’s why I am dedicated to making your home buying experience as easy as possible...

So you can get back to real life.”

- JESSICA WOLLESEN

785-312-6810

FIRST STATE BANK & TRUST FIR MORTGAGE LOAN ORIGINATOR

JESSICAW@FIRSTSTATEKS.COM 609 VERMONT ST - LAWRENCE, KS APPLY ONLINE AT: JWOLLESEN-FIRSTSTATEKS.MORTGAGEWEBCENTER.COM

EQUAL HOUSING LENDER - MEMBER FDIC

Find out more at: zentigue.com

Anika Jackson is a mother, community volunteer, philanthropist, and brand strategist. As Founder/CEO of Social Graces Social Club, Jackson fosters friendships, business opportunities, and community activism for her members through events and via the Social Graces Social Clubhouse in downtown Houston, while maintaining a thriving PR, marketing, and event company.

In her role as VP of Strategic Partnerships for Real Beauty Real Women, Anika creates collaborative opportunities for brands and non-profits, and she co-hosts Real Beauty Real Women

No one can see into the future.

Entertainment - a popular Monday night Facebook show that highlights socially conscious men and women.

Among her philanthropy endeavors, Ms. Jackson serves as an advisory council/founding family for the Greater Houston Community Foundation’s Center for Family Philanthropy. She’s also Chairman of Planned Parenthood Gulf Coast, and she is a founding steering committee member of the national Planned Parenthood Affiliate Board Leader Council, as well as a founder of Houston Children Give Back and Learn Grow Lead.

And even if you could, you’d want to be prepared for what’s coming.

Let’s sit down and prepare for your future. You talk and I’ll listen – face-to-face, the way it should be.

It’s your future. Let’s protect it.™

Patricia Reed 5020 Bob Billings Pkwy, Ste A Lawrence (785) 856-8920

Auto | Home | Life | Annuities | Business | Farm & Ranch | Crop Farm Bureau Property & Casualty Insurance Company,* Western Agricultural Insurance Company,* Farm Bureau Life Insurance Company*/West Des Moines, IA. *Company providers of Farm Bureau Financial Services M211 (10-18)

FEATURE

&

body 24

bridal

LESSONS I’VE LEARNED AS A BRIDAL CONSULTANT

BY K AHEAL ANI ROBERTSON

E

very day I have the honor of helping women find the perfect dress for their wedding day at a local Lawrence boutique, J.Lynn Bridal. Because of shows like “Say Yes to the Dress,” wedding dress shopping has become an event. Entourage in tow, brides embark on a journey of seeking their perfect gown. But sometimes this incredible search can expose some of their biggest insecurities.

There’s a lot of pressure on women in our society to look a certain way.

Our beauty standards are always changing and there’s a social narrative that says women must constantly be improving upon their image.

There’s always an extra pound, a little cellulite, too many curves, not enough curves - the list goes on. We can easily overlook what is unique and beautiful about our bodies and get stuck in this cycle of “never enough.”

25

We can easily overlook what is unique and beautiful about our bodies and get stuck in this cycle of “never enough.”

I’ve watched hundreds of women face themselves in the mirror. That first look tells me a lot about the client I’m working with and how I as a consultant can support them. At J.Lynn Bridal, we are trained to celebrate the women that we’re working with, whether they’re thin, curvy, or trans.

It’s always heartbreaking when a woman sees herself in the mirror and starts talking about her body negatively. It’s even worse when members of her entourage join in. Sadly, this negativity is more

common than you would think. Since our society places so much value on how we look, we’re taught as women to critique each others’ appearances in an effort to “help” each other - especially leading up to a wedding day. Brides can easily feel pressure to make the day “picture perfect,” rather than simply focusing on the celebration of themselves and their partner’s love.

It gets to the point where many women immediately say what they notice about their bodies as a defense mechanism, critiqu-

ing themselves before others can even get the chance. This is a reality for women of all shapes and sizes - and I think it’s about time that reality changed.

At J.Lynn Bridal, our goal is for every woman to walk out of our store feeling beautiful and supported. As opposed to most bridal stores that mainly carry size 12s for women to try on, we carry sizes 2-28 in store and can order sizes 0032. From my first interview the owner, Jena Dick, made it clear that J.Lynn is a body-positive and inclusive shop. We

are there to support our brides and help them find a dress that fits their personality and their wedding vision.

That emphasis on supporting and loving on our clients has shown me how when we as women support one another, we flourish. I love seeing a woman that came in insecure or even scared to try on dresses, put on a dress that makes them feel absolutely beautiful.

So how do we practice self care when the world around us tells us that we have to

27

Crystal’s Spot Where Friends Become Family

change our bodies? Well to start, we have to acknowledge that it’s ok to be insecure about certain parts of yourself - that’s just human nature. But it’s important to spend more time looking at the things you do love about yourself and your body. And, if you’re struggling with where to start, you might begin with the fact that your body is what allows you to experience the world around you. You breathe, laugh, love, and feel thanks to your incredible, wonderful vessel. So, give it some love! Drink water and schedule things into your week that bring you joy, like yoga, pilates, or running - and find some activity that makes both your body and your soul happy.

While we’re at it, tell the women in your life what you love and adore about them.

Tell them they’re beautiful and strong

and valuable. Let’s raise each other up and celebrate each other with our words.

When we support each other, we flourish.

Confidence is both contagious and radiant.

And the next time you’re out shopping whether for your everyday outfits or your formal wear - remember that clothing is altered to fit you. You don’t need to alter yourself to fit the clothes.

Kahealani Robertson is a Kansas City native turned Lawrence local who has been the store manager at J.Lynn Bridal for the last 2 and a half years. She loves working in the bridal industry and is passionate about women embracing their beauty.

Wed. 6-10pm , Thur. 4:30-11pm Fri. 6-11pm, Sat. 9-2am Sun. 12-4pm

704 Mass Street

VIP Lounge SATURDAY Nights!

DJ, Dancing, Bottle Service

Live Jazz every THURSDAY! 7:30-9:30

Reviews This is such a cool place with great staff and excellent desserts!! Live music, tarot readings, specials, and an amazing atmosphere. Will definitely go back and highly recommend for a place to have a good time.

It truly was a fantastic experience. I'll be honest I've never had honey-drizzled cornbread followed with an espresso martini before, but I legitimately cannot imagine a better execution of it. Fast service, great service, amazing people, and a lovely atmosphere. And yet all were just icing on the proverbial cake, which was of course the amazing lavor of the actual cake. You should check it out

ILOVE this place! Fantastic deserts and coffee drinks- the turtle pie is to die for. I love the laid back and cozy vibe. I will definitely return!

evening shade farms

™

FA

A

NIC

E

AR

O RG

with us

™

SOAP

IN

ADVERTISE

TO RM SK

B O DY

C

HOUSE

The Spot Mag offers a unique perspective on women in, and connected to, the Lawrence, Kansas area. This magazine is the only woman-run and woman-centric magazine in Northeast Kansas.

eveningshadefarms.com | CBD American Shaman: soaphouseesf.com

Utilize our print magazine, magazin interactive online edition, and targeted social media marketing with total viewership of over 25,000 to reach your audience.

1320 N 3rd St., Lawrence, KS 66044 | 660.492.6366 Hours: Mon-Sat 10-6, Sun 12-5 Follow us on:

Our publication is distrubited free of charge.

FOR RATES EMAIL WOMEN@THESPOTMAG.COM

HALF PAGE & FULL PAGE SPACE AVAILABLE

PRINT AND DIGITAL DISTRIBUTION

Women Owned Enterprise

CHANNELING THE HOT SPRINGS EXPERIENCE Mud & Lotus is an outdoor soaking tub and sauna tucked away in a private garden in downtown Lawrence, Kansas.

Reserve an hour for yourself and/or your friends.

Book online at mud-lotus.com or call 785-371-1141 @mud.lotus.lawrence

A Collaborative Boutique

featuring 17 unique stores with apparel, home decor, gifts & more!

Something for everyone!

Be our friend: @shopkbandco 825 Massachusetts Street, Suite A Lawrence, KS 66049 785.856.2075 shopkbandco@gmail.com

spots HOT

ADVERTISE HERE CONTACT US AT:

women@thespotmag.com for pricing and more information.

spots HOT

3504 Westridge Dr., Lawrence, KS 66049 785-842-8431 Fax 785-843-8587

785.856.2005 1009 NEW HAMPSHIRE SUITE C L AW R E N C E , K S 6 6 0 4 4

See All Our Listings At

NestSeekers.com Join our 300,000+ fans

924 BEL AIR ROAD | BEL AIR $150,000,000 | 12 BEDS, 21 BATHS SHAWN ELLIOTT M: 516.695.6349 DRE: 02018471

2794 HUME ROAD | MALIBU $2,500,000 | 6 BEDS, 6 BATHS MINA KUPER M: 310.345.8500 DRE: 01515351

MONTECITO POLO ESTATE | MONTECITO $65,000,000 | 11 BEDS, 22 BATHS SHAWN ELLIOTT M: 516.695.6349 SABRA GANDHI SELLERS M: 310.966.0643 IVANA OCTAVIANI M: 213.372.9000

727 N BEVERLY GLEN | BEL AIR $6,500,000 | 4 BEDS, 5.5 BATHS SHAWN ELLIOTT M: 516.695.6349 IVANA OCTAVIANI M: 213.372.9000 ALYSSA AZZARA M: 424.777.5100

13319 MULHOLLAND DRIVE | BEVERLY HILLS $8,490,000 | 5 BEDS, 9 BATHS SHELENE ATANACIO M: 310.500.0678 DRE: 02017476

8313 KIRKWOOD DRIVE | HOLLYWOOD $1,275,000 | 3 BEDS, 2 BATHS RICHARD CHASSLER M: 646.303.5997 DRE: 01997601

22941 SAN JOAQUIN DR E | CANYON LAKE $699,999 | 5 BEDS, 5 BATHS CHASE NUTTALL M: 760.579.9531

155 N CRESCENT DRIVE | BEVERLY HILLS $23,400/mo | 2 BEDS, 3 BATHS CHRISTOPHER WULFF M: 949.412.8492

2463 ACHILLES DRIVE | LOS ANGELES $28,000/mo | 4 BEDS, 5 BATHS DANIELLE ARMIENTO M: 424.522.3800

DRE: 02009158

DRE: 02026426

DRE: 01988894

NEW YORK

| HAMPTONS | GOLD COAST, LI | NEW JERSEY

| MIAMI | SAN FRANCISCO | BEVERLY HILLS

| LONDON | ASIA