Telolith 2019

ELOLITH

Student Art And Literature

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lith ar o l e

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Telolith

Contemporary Art and Literature 2019, Vol. 46 Seward County Community College Liberal, Kansas The Writers and Artists represented here have made careful choices - whether of work or line, phrase or stroke - the hardest and most important being to make public the products of their private, personal imaginations. From these choices the Telolith is generated and published annually for the contributors and the entire campus community of SCCC.

Submitting Work - for Publication -

Any student at Seward County Community College enrolled during the year prior to publication of the Telolith may submit original, previously unpublished works created in the previous year for consideration for inclusion. A signed and dated data sheet is required at the time of submission. Selection of work for publication is based upon originality, quality of thought, and craftsmanship, with the objective of including works from as broad and diverse a range of the SCCC student population as space and time constraints will allow.

Writing and art for the 2020 issue should be submitted to a faculty adviser during March, 2020.

The SCCC English Department offers a creative writing course during the fall semester. We encourage those interested in developing their writing skills to enroll in this workshop-style course. The English Department also sponsors a poetry contest and coffeehouse each spring.

The SCCC Visual Art Department offers a wide range of courses in drawing, painting, photography, graphic design, ceramics, sculpture, glass blowing, and jewelry. Students enrolled in Visual Arts Department graphic design courses are responsible for the page layout and overall design concept for Telolith. The Visual Arts Department sponsors an exhibit of student work at the end of each SCCC term.

The works published are written and/or created by SCCC students or in association with the SCCC English and Visual Arts Departments, and do not necessarily reflect the views of the college.

Copyright Š by Seward County Community College, all rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form without written permission of the writer or artist.

Telolith

Contemporary Art and Literature Colophon This Publication is designed annually by Seward County Community College students enrolled in Graphic Design courses. The student staff used a variety of graphic design skills in the layout of this volume of the Telolith. Telolith was produced using Adobe Photoshop, Illustrator, and Indesign on Apple Macintosh computers. The printing of this volume was carried out by Smartpress.com of Chanhassen, Minnesota.

Faculty Advisers Janice Northerns - Writing Dustin Farmer - Visual Art

Graphic Designers Annie Wall Amy Friesen Axel Jones Luis Martinez Rosa Strydom

Seward County Community College

1801 N. Kansas Avenue ~ Liberal, Kansas 67901 www.sccc.edu ~ 800.373.9951 ~ 620.624.1951 janice.northerns@sccc.edu ~ dustin.farmer@sccc.edu

Art & Photography:

Table of Contents

Untitled - Kaitlyn Van Vleet, Digital Photo..............................................................................................................4 Big Ol’ Barn - Annie Wall, Pen and Ink..................................................................................................................5 Arizona Desert - Annie Wall, Digital Illustration......................................................................................................5 Kansas Sunrise - Annie Wall, Digital Illustration....................................................................................................5 Untitled - Kaitlyn Van Vleet, Digital Photo..............................................................................................................7 Stairs - Kaitlyn Van Vleet, Digital Photo.................................................................................................................9 Untitled - Amanda Delk, Digital Photo..................................................................................................................11 Untitled - Amanda Delk, Digital Photo..................................................................................................................11 Untitled - Amanda Delk, Digital Photo..................................................................................................................12 Sing To My Heart - Amanda Delk, Digital Photo...................................................................................................13 Car Show - Rosa Strydom, Digital Illustration......................................................................................................13 Adventure Time Cards - Amy Friesen, Digital Illistration......................................................................................13 Coughing Kat - Rodrigo Sanchez, Acrylic Painting..............................................................................................14 Car Show Poster - Amy Friesen, Digital Illustration.............................................................................................14 Untitled - Amanda Delk, Digital Photo..................................................................................................................15 Depth - Kaitlyn Van Vleet, Digital Photo...............................................................................................................16 Untitled - Christina Forks, Digital Photo...............................................................................................................17 Little Mermaid Backdrop - Rosa Strydom, Acrylic Painting..................................................................................18 Untitled - Robert Forks, Digital Photo...................................................................................................................19 Just Peachy - Diana Nieto, Digital Photo.............................................................................................................21 Logo for Telolith - Amy Friesen, Digital Illustration...............................................................................................22 Logo for Telolith - Annie Wall, Digital Illustration..................................................................................................25 Untitled - Michelle Mattich, Digital Photo.............................................................................................................26 Golden Girl - Annie Wall, Conte...........................................................................................................................27 Fiji Time - Annie Wall, Digital Illustration..............................................................................................................29 Logo for Telolith - Annie Wall, Digital Illustration..................................................................................................29 Logo for Telolith - Axel Jones, Digital Illustration..................................................................................................29 The Shadow - Phillip Lee, Digital Photo...............................................................................................................30 Imagine - Mattie Duckworth, Oil on Posterboard.................................................................................................30 Untitled - Kaitlyn Van Vleet, Digital Photo............................................................................................................31 Untitled - Rodrigo Sanchez, Acrylic Painting........................................................................................................31 Logo for Telolith - Luis Martinez, Digital Illustration..............................................................................................31 Christholm Trail - Jordann Davis, Digital Photo...................................................................................................33 Well Worn - Jesse Marcos, Pencil Drawing.........................................................................................................35 Cobblestone Street - Annie Wall, Pen and Ink....................................................................................................36 Untitled - Christina Forks, Digital Photo...............................................................................................................37 Spring Joy - Luis Martinez, Digital Illustration......................................................................................................37 Tea Party - Amy Friesen, Digital Illustration.........................................................................................................37 Buy War Bonds! - Luis Martinez, Digital Illustration.............................................................................................41 Untitled - Christina Forks, Digital Photo...............................................................................................................42 Love Along the Years - Daniela Carmona, Digital Photo.....................................................................................43 Logo for Telolith - Amy Friesen, Digital Illustration...............................................................................................45 Blurred Emotions - Daniela Carmona, Digital Photo............................................................................................45 Rose, Diana Nieto - Digital Photo........................................................................................................................46 Untitled - Lois Magner, Digital Photo....................................................................................................................47 Logo for Telolith - Annie Wall, Digital Illustration..................................................................................................49 Hillside Town - Annie Wall, Watercolor & Ink.......................................................................................................50 Logo for Telolith - Annie Wall, Digital Illustration...................................................................................................50 Logo for Telolith - Luis Martinez, Digital Illustration..............................................................................................50 Logo for Telolith - Luis Martinez, Digital Illustration..............................................................................................53 Shenron - Rosa Strydom, Ceramic......................................................................................................................53 Untitled - Christina Forks, Digital Photo...............................................................................................................54 Sunset - Jordann Davis, Digital Photo.................................................................................................................55 Faith and Hardwork - Michelle Mattich, Digital Photo..........................................................................................59 Untitled - Lois Magner, Digital Photo....................................................................................................................61 Virgin De Guadalupe - Diana Nieto, Digital Photo...............................................................................................61 I’m a Hermit - Jordann Davis, Digital Photo.........................................................................................................62

Rabbit - Annie Wall, Pen and Ink.........................................................................................................................62 Cottage - Annie Wall, Pen and Ink.......................................................................................................................62 STRIKE - Amanda Delk, Digital Photo.................................................................................................................63 Bibles - Jordann Davis, Digital Photo...................................................................................................................64 Pizza on Broadway - Jordann Davis, Digital Photo..............................................................................................66 Produce - Kaitlyn Van Vleet, Digital Photo...........................................................................................................67 Water Lady - Rosa Strydom, Watercolor..............................................................................................................69

Writing: “What’s Left Behind” Lois Magner, nonfiction.........................................................................................................1 “Bleach” Jose Rodriguez, poetry............................................................................................................................4 “Packing Plant” Jose Rodriguez, poetry................................................................................................................6 “Volver” Jose Rodriguez, poetry.............................................................................................................................7 “Safe Haven” Russell Schmidt, nonfiction..............................................................................................................8 “That’s My Name and Welcome to It” Edward L. Kentner, nonfiction..................................................................10 “Repeating Reflection” Lois Magner, poetry.........................................................................................................11 “Hold Tight and Let Go” Lois Magner, poetry.......................................................................................................12 “Ribbons and Paw Prints” Noemi Rodriguez, poetry............................................................................................14 “Our Rainwater Puddle Fish of Iglesia San Francisco de Asis” Noemi Rodriguez, poetry...................................15 “Are You Chloe’s Daughter” Letty Munoz, nonfiction...........................................................................................16 “The Second Chance” Andy Dinh, poetry.............................................................................................................17 “Sleep Paralysis” Andy Dinh, poetry.....................................................................................................................18 “Escritoire” Andy Dinh, poetry..............................................................................................................................19 “An Unforgettable Week” Cassandra Arredondo, nonfiction................................................................................20 “An Unexpected Gift” Mackenzie Farmer, fiction.................................................................................................22 “A Cage of Marble and Gold” Adan Gutierrez, fiction...........................................................................................23 “Do You Like Me Today?” Nancy Kletecka, nonfiction.........................................................................................24 “Freedom at What Cost” Edward L. Kenter, poetry..............................................................................................26 “Moscow’s Little Shed” Rafael Axel Granillo, nonfiction.......................................................................................27 “The Passing of Hurricane Maria” Dorianne Lebron Malave, nonfiction..............................................................28 “The Darkness Walks with Me” Mackenzie Farmer, poetry..................................................................................30 “Homecoming Parade” Mackenzie Farmer, poetry..............................................................................................31 “Oh, Won’t You Be My Neighbor?” Andy Dinh, fiction..........................................................................................32 “Asphalt Cowboy” Edward L. Kentner, nonfiction.................................................................................................33 “Words with Friends” Lois Magner, poetry............................................................................................................34 “Posting for a Friend” Lois Magner, poetry...........................................................................................................34 “isolation” Lois Magner, poetry.............................................................................................................................35 “Dammit, I’m Mad...” Lois Magner, poetry............................................................................................................36 “Easy Camouflage for Dummies” Daniel Rodriguez, fiction.................................................................................38 “January 25,Midan El Tahrir” Yusra Hegy, poetry.................................................................................................42 “I am Waiting for You” Yusra Hegy, poetry............................................................................................................43 “The Boy Who (Kind of) Helped Me Find Myself” Brittani Lauppe, nonfiction.....................................................44 “Self-Destruction” Michelle Mattich, poetry..........................................................................................................45 “Rose” Michelle Mattich, poetry............................................................................................................................46 “Purgatory” Michelle Mattich, poetry.....................................................................................................................47 “Life from Ashes” Mackenzie Farmer, fiction........................................................................................................48 “Brightest” Jordann Davis, poetry.........................................................................................................................50 “Rise” Jordann Davis, poetry................................................................................................................................50 “Crashing with Cancer” Nancy Kletecka, nonfiction.............................................................................................51 “Awaken My Senses, Cafe” Marissa Morales, poetry..........................................................................................54 “Exqusite Corpse” Intro to Lit Class, poetry..........................................................................................................55 “Blurred Lines” Lois Magner, fiction......................................................................................................................56 “The Fix” Nancy Kletecka, poetry.........................................................................................................................59 “One Town at a Time” Edward L. Kentner, nonfiction...........................................................................................60 “Into the Inferno” Noemi Rodriquez, poetry..........................................................................................................61 “Electric Storm” Noemi Rodriguez, poetry............................................................................................................63 “Rebellion” Noemi Rodriguez, poetry...................................................................................................................64 “Laundry Day” Jose Rodriguez, fiction.................................................................................................................65 “The Cereal Killer” Noemi Rodriguez, fiction.......................................................................................................67 “Easy as Riding a Bike, My Ass” Andy Dinh, fiction.............................................................................................68

Autographs

What’s Left Behind

down, I realize the neighborhood is busier in reality than it is in my mind. As we’re walking down the street Lois Magner — on the street — because Liberal is not known for an overabundance of sidewalks, we frequently have to move

Yesterday I took my new pal, Gryphon, for a out of the way of oncoming traffic. I always think of the stroll through the neighborhood. Not because I wanted neighborhood as being much quieter. Dogs bark behind a chance to reminisce about a past we hadn’t shared, weathered fences, guarding their territory. A few we pass or lament the circumstances that ultimately brought us by sound less menacing and more inquisitive, as if they’re together, but rather to see if I could look at these familiar asking if we’d like to come and play. Those are probably places with new eyes, walk familiar paths with fresh the ones that would actually bite, if you dared stick your perspective. I’ve only lived in this town for six years, a fingers through their fence. negligible amount of time in one place to me, an eternity

Trees and well-manicured yards surround houses to Gryphon. Those years have all been spent in the same in varying shades of brick. When I first moved to Liberal, neighborhood; I just moved in on one edge of the grid I’d never seen so much brick in such a wide range of and ended up living on the other. colors in any one place. Within one or two blocks you’ll

We were sitting on our porch—well, it’s not so find shades of brick from brightest white or palest yellow much of a porch as it is an elongated step—but we have to dark brown or muddy red and everything in between. our own little table and chairs, and it feels like a porch I’ve always loved brick homes, and they were one of the to me. The view of the parking lot doesn’t particularly things I liked the most about the town, back when it was add any sort of positive ambience, but we joke about becoming my new home. Painted images on the curbs dining al fresco and make the best of it. It was a cool label the occupants and encourage friendly, for the most August evening, a rare event in southwestern Kansas, part, rivalry. A K-State Wildcat, its dark purple well-defined and it seemed too valuable an opportunity to waste. We against the white cement, is placed near enough to the decided to walk around the neighborhood so I could neighbor’s Jayhawk to irritate them both, I’d imagine. introduce him to his new stomping grounds. My past, his Colleges, universities, and even high schools are wellfuture, our today. represented throughout the neighborhood. Gryphon is

Walking down Grant Street, we passed by Billy’s, clearly uninterested in them, unimpressed by the detail a local restaurant and bowling alley. I told him about “the (or lack of it in some cases) that the paintings possess. I old Billy’s,” which was the same restaurant owned and don’t think he’s much of a sports fan. operated by the same people, just in a different building

Along the way we pass a tree in partial bloom. a few blocks away. What a difference a few blocks Flowers in varying shades of pink and light purple peek make! I’ve never felt like “the new Billy’s” has been able out among the branches, blossoms unevenly distributed to match the old place. like candy sprinkles on a Something got lost in “Even though it’s the neighborhood cupcake decorated by a the move, some sense small child. I point it out bar, it’s not quite my neighborhood to him as we walk by. I’ve of community, familiarity, belonging. The old place bar...” always enjoyed watching was Liberal’s version the flowers bud and bloom of Cheers, without the on that tree. I Googled it once, I tell him, to find out what staged comedy but with plenty of drama and local flavor. kind of tree it was. We were going to get one or two for The old place made you feel comfortable and welcome, the yard on Dahlia, but we never got around to it. Now like visiting an old friend. The new place still doesn’t I don’t remember what kind it is. Sniffing as we walk by, feel that way to me. The menu hasn’t changed; a lot of as if he’s able to catch a whiff of the sweet aroma from the people are the same. It just doesn’t feel as cozy to the fading blossoms, he wrinkles his nose and sneezes, me. Even though it’s the neighborhood bar, it’s not quite which makes me chuckle. I appreciate the attempt. my neighborhood bar, at least not in the way that it was

The Jacquarts live on the corner of Tulip and before it actually moved into my neighborhood. I wonder Dahlia. I’ve never met them, but the four-foot marble slab if Gryphon feels that way about our apartment. It’s our angled across their grass, proudly engraved with their home now, but does he feel like it’s his home yet? I don’t name, stakes their claim to the corner lot. When I first ask. moved here, that stone was my saving grace, a valuable

As we head around the corner of Lilac Drive landmark. I’ve always needed landmarks to navigate. and amble toward my old house, just a few blocks

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That slab let me know that the next block was significance. mine, the next road led home.

We had a family reunion, I tell him, in honor of I don’t know the Jacquarts, but I’m grateful to them for my father-in-law at the time. All his kids and their families having put that stone in their yard, on the corner rather came, and we hosted it at our house because we had the than on the porch, a visible marker. biggest yard. Our side gate opened up to face

My feet feel like lead as we turn the corner. the park, and we left it open so that the kids could hang Kicking fallen pine cones and small rocks, we trudge up out at the park or swim in the pool. It gave them options. the street. My chest tightens, and it’s hard to breathe.

A friend of mine took family portraits for us. And the two of Maybe this was a bad idea. But I want to show him the us, my ex and I, sat right here at the base of this tree. He house. I want him to meet Missy, the little Bichon who was behind me, and I was leaning against him, and the lives across the street, and her owners, of course. No picture is beautiful. We were both so happy. Our smiles one’s home when we walk by. I tell him how Missy and are real, the happiness is real. You can see it in our eyes. my dog, Benson, used to be friends. They were funny to Well, it felt real to me anyway. watch, my seventy-five-pound ball of chocolate fluff belly- I jump up and run over to the swings. Gryphon crawling like one of those green toy army men so that he follows slowly, stretching his shoulders as he stands up could be eye-level with an eight-pound bundle of sass. and strolls over. He can take his time; there is nothing She was definitely in charge. Smiling as I think of them, in this place he needs to run from. Cicadas sing softly my breath comes easier. There are happy memories on in the background, quiet accompaniment to the gentle this street, more than not, but memories were not what I breeze. The breeze is cool and clean and bears no intended to focus on today. trace of National Beef’s blood burning or of full livestock

I watch my trailers this evening, just new friend to see what the promise of the coming “They were funny to watch, my strikes his fancy. As seventy-five-pound ball of chocolate fall. We swing slowly, far as I know, he’s back and forth, my toes fluff belly-crawling like one of those deepening the trenches in never been down this way. He nudges me green toy army men so that he could the soft dirt. The twang of and heads toward a country song dances on be eye-level with an eight-pound the park. I hear ghost the breeze, loud enough bundle of sass.” whisperings of past Kids to be heard, too soft to be Inc. practice sessions, recognized. A loud splash see faded images of high school cross country runners followed by shrieks and laughter drowns out the music sweating in the sticky heat that’s typical for this time of and the cicadas for a moment. Sounds from a backyard year. High-pitched squeals and little boy laughter tickle that used to be mine, from a pool that was built for me but the back of my mind as I remember playtime in the park now belongs to a stranger. I wasn’t part of the sale, so with grandsons and new playground friends. We sit I’ve never even met the new owners. I can’t decide if it’s at the base of one of the larger evergreens. The roots better or worse that way. protruding from the ground keep us out of the grass. I

I tell him about the house, the home that’s no run my fingers down the weathered trunk, the rough bark longer mine but belongs to someone I’ve never met. I holding some hidden message written in Nature’s Braille, was so excited to get that house; there was so much but I have no translator. One of my favorite pictures was potential. I still love the way it sits diagonally across the taken in just this spot, at this exact angle, at the base of yard, facing the corner rather than either of the streets this very tree. It’s a picture that hurts too much to look directly. It was an adventure back then, an anticipated at these days, such a harsh reminder of the happiness new chapter in a tale I was sure would last a lifetime. that has been stripped away. But even so, I do look at We moved in with dreams and ambitions, forever plans, the picture, sometimes a lot. It’s kind of like touching a a sense of home. Now it’s just a house that strangers sore tooth with your tongue. It hurts, but you just can’t live in. But today, at least, I can sit and look at it and stop. I have the picture saved to my phone still, so I show remember the happy times without being overwhelmed it to Gryphon. He sniffs at it but doesn’t appreciate the by grief. I suppose that’s progress.

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More splashing sounds from the pool remind me February, and the divorce was final in March. It was a of Benson. He loved to swim. He was always the first tough time.” one in and the last one out. I realize that I don’t know Sitting there together, my swing stilled, I’m if Gryphon even likes the water. I think you would have reminded of the words from a song, “Your world’s liked Benson, I tell him. I think that Benson would have not falling apart, it’s falling into place…” and I pray liked Gryphon too, but he would have been jealous at that’s true. I need to believe it’s true, that even if I first. I was his person. I mean, he liked everyone, but I don’t understand today, tomorrow is new and full of was his person. Now I’m Gryphon’s person. possibilities. Different doesn’t have to be worse, and

I look at the brick-encased flowerbeds in the sitting right here with me is living proof. front yard. Bright

“Let’s go,” I say, orange mums and “Sounds from a backyard that used to and we start back pale-yellow lilies home in silence. be mine, from a pool that was built for The newest remind me of a sunrise stretching across the me but now belongs to a stranger.” apartment complex front of the house. in the area is just Same across the street from perennials, different gardeners. I realize the colors in our apartment building. The new complex is brick, of the flowerbox more closely resemble a sunset, deeper course. Ours is not. Well, ours is half brick, the bottom hues foreshadowing the darkness to come. My thoughts half, which seems significant in that moment. The new are becoming morose and I’m feeling the pull from the complex is much nicer. The red brick is bright and clean, vortex of regret, fixating on the past when I should be the sculpted lawns perfectly edged and trimmed, the looking to the future. I’ve only just barely dug myself covered carport (they have a carport!) comes complete out of that hole, and the depression was deep. It’s not with motion sensor lighting. Each apartment has its a place I want to revisit. Sunrise, sunset, what does it own back porch, not a big porch, but some personal matter? They’re both a promise of a new day. You just space at any rate. It’s a nice complex. Gryphon pulls need to wait a little longer to see the sun sometimes. me across the street to get a closer look because he’s

The sky above us is darkening. Gray storm interested, not because I need, or want, a closer look. clouds roll slowly across the sun, blocking its light. The

I usually avoid looking at it. I don’t want to see storm doesn’t feel close enough to be threatening, and the breeze is still light and refreshing. A stark contrast to my past colliding with someone else’s future, a future the darkness on the horizon. I start to tell him about “the that should have been mine. I’m never sure when I’ll see my ex and his new fiancé together at his shiny new winter of my discontent.” apartment complex, the one right across the street from

“Last year was a bad year,” I say. He waits where I’m supposed to be starting over, rebuilding a for me to elaborate. “This is probably a sad song that new today that doesn’t crumble in the aftermath of I’ve sung too many times. I know I’ve told you part of recanted vows and retracted promises. I watch my new it.” I know I haven’t told him much about it, and I don’t little friend, part of my new future, inspect the manicured know if I want to. He’s my tomorrow, not my yesterday. lawn and perfectly planted young trees that belong to I shrug, “It doesn’t really matter now.” I don’t want to the future of my past, part of something that used to be dig myself an emotional ditch, I don’t want to wallow. mine but now belongs to someone else. He’s oblivious I tell him anyway. Sometimes it’s just nice to have to my discomfort because he’s enjoying the moment. A someone who listens and doesn’t offer well-meaning simple concept really, enjoying the moment. See what’s but unsolicited advice. “The whole year was tough, right here, right now – he’s mastered that skill. I’m still Gryph, but the winter…the winter was truly bleak.” He working on it. He finally looks at me, realizes I’m waiting doesn’t seem to mind that I’m singing my sad song.

He’s listening as he half dozes on the grass in front of on the sidewalk for him to finish his appraisal of a piece the swings. “Divorce papers were started in October, of property that has nothing to do with us, nothing to do Benson died in November, my dad died in December, with my tomorrow. He walks over to me, and we cross I got official divorce papers in January, moved out in the street, home at last, and ahead of the storm.

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Bleach Your father said you were born too light, so he took you outside and baked you til you were just right.

Mi prieto.

He must have baked too long.

Because when he got angry he called you prieto feo.

*Las castas – “Castes/social order set by the Spaniards” **mi prieto – endearment meaning “my dark skinned one” **prieto feo – “ugly dark skinned person” ***ojos negros – “black eyes” ****piel canela – “cinnamon skin,” a reference to a song Piel Canela popularized by Trio Los Panchos.

- Jose Rodriguez

So you added a cap of bleach to every bath.

Because that's what the neighbors suggested.

Your mother saw you one day and screamed at you for wasting bleach.

Doesn't she know Fair & Lovely has a price?

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Father, would you ask La Virgen de Guadalupe to change her ojos negros?

Her piel canela?

Would her cloak of stars be more beautiful if her skin were more white?

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Kaitlyn Van Vleet -UntitledDigital Photo

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You drank more milk, stopped playing outside.

It didn't work.

Father still called you prieto feo when he got angry.

Las castas left their mark.

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Annie Wall -Kansas SunriseDigital

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Annie Wall -Arizona DesertDigital illustration

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Annie Wall -Big Ol’ BarnPen and Ink

Packing Plant HR Office Hobby Lobby décor live, laugh, love! secretaries make you wait three hours if you need the job you will wait

Leaker open the damaged packages of meat throw them back on the line plant too cheap to fix the sealing machine lucky me always a lot of work

Orientation Welcome to University!

Que tu no eres el hijo de?* union waivers, videos, sexual harassment training remember men you all have wives and daughters

Rosa friendly, helps me out getting a divorce cause if you’re married you always end up divorced, she cries

First Day steel toe boots, tan hat this is Mohamed he will be your partner Mijo que hace acui?**

Lunch don’t buy lunch In the cafeteria your mom tells you thirty-minute break ten minutes to remove equipment ten minutes to eat ten minutes to suit back up a million identical lunchboxes did someone really steal your burrito?

Summer you remind yourself this is only for the summer Equipment hook hairnet beardnet plastic yellow apron plastic yellow sleeves plastic yellow gloves white lab coat ear plugs

Tanya gets mad the Somalis get time to pray yet she can’t go to the bathroom she cusses at the supervisor and cries Summer you remind yourself this is only for the summer

Table Five huge machines roar hard to chat you really needed those earplugs

Arnoldo gets mad at you for letting too much meat fall on the floor he screams at you and this time you wanna cry

Meat briskets and chuck rolls quarter of a cow no really, it’s one-quarter of a cow

Hands I start dreaming in meat I wake up my hands in the shape of my claw Mijo, ya mero se acaba el verano***

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Last Day I thought you were going to quit you have grit you’re a good worker Summer you made it through the summer *Que tu no eres el hijo de? “Aren’t you so and so’s son?” **Mijo que hace aqui? “Son what are you doing here?” *** Mijo, ya mero se acaba el verano “Son, the summer is almost over.”

- Jose Rodriguez

Volver Volver.

A grand return, the white washed walls.

The heavy door.

Condemned.

Just like the memories of that place.

Death lingers in the air that once smelled of tortillas on the comal, tamales, Aguacate con pan.

You couldn't wait to leave your mother's home.

Now you return, older, but not wiser.

Kaitlyn Van Vleet -UntitledDigital Photo

Volver.

Sometimes it's too late.

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The sweep of branches welcomes you home.

Volver – “to return” Comal — griddle used to heat up tortillas Aguacate con pan – “bread with avocado” - Jose Rodriguez

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Safe Haven

shaped fountain for children to play under. I am too old to play there now, but I still get a joyful feeling watching Russell Schmidt the children splashing around and reminiscing on my younger days.

My childhood home at 802 West Silver Street

At the end of the park nearest my house was in Butte, Montana, stood strong. It was red brick with a small front yard and a little black fence that separated the an open field and a large tree I used to climb regularly.

Climbing that tree gave a sense of freedom, until one sidewalk from the yard. Not quite the white picket fence of dreams, but for me, it was close enough. Where I grew day when I climbed too high and was too scared to climb back down by myself. I screamed for help for up was not out of the ordinary, but it set my expectations what seemed like forever. My brother eventually heard of how a neighborhood and the people in it, as a small me from the house and came to help me down. I have community, should be: no loud noises at all hours, no never forgotten that first feeling of being terrified, though I arguing in the streets, people helping people in need. continued to climb that tree all throughout the years of my This was the whole world in my eyes, compressed into a childhood and even into adulthood. four-block radius.

West Elementary was our neighborhood school.

At age five, I liked to climb up to the roof almost My walk to school from my house was about four blocks daily just to sit and look out over the neighborhood. I one way, but it made my mornings having the small thought about how time it took to get to I knew everyone on “Every time I see monkey bars now, I school to myself to think the block and how life. There was a many times I had been remember the days when I was young about cobblestone wall that everywhere up and and brave.”

I loved to slide down down the street. Back outside of the tennis and forth from the park court at the school. I to home. I listened to the never really outgrew that school, although I had to leave it sounds of my neighborhood and felt calm and carefree. I never had to dream of a better place to live; I was already unwillingly.

When I was nine, our landlord sold the house there. Throughout the years I continued going back to out from under my family, and we had to move. That that house, even after we moved, to climb up to the roof move did a huge number on my psyche. We moved into and sit. a relative’s house, and I was no longer allowed to go to Chestersteel Park was the coolest place in my West Elementary School because I had moved out of neighborhood. I spent countless hours playing there. the district. My morning walks were out. I no longer had Walking across the top of the monkey bars was one of access to the same park, and the new park was over a my favorite things to do, that and jumping to the ground mile away. All my friends still went to West Elementary, after I had made it to the other side. Today, I am scared and I never really saw them again until I grew up. All the of heights, and I have never again experienced the joy things in my life that had shaped the way I saw the world of the jump from that height —just the memory of it all. around me up to this point changed in an instant.

Every time I see monkey bars now, I remember the days

I tried really hard when I was young and to go back to my old brave.

“I have never forgotten that first feeling school. I would arrive

In the center of being terrified, though I continued early in the morning of the park at the top to eat breakfast with of the hill is where we to climb that tree all throughout the my friends, but when went sledding during years of my childhood and even into teachers saw me trying the winter and tumbled to go to class, they around during the adulthood.” told me I had to leave summer. I always knew because I had changed school districts.

So I left the my friends would be there. Near the bottom of the hill was classroom, but I stayed on the playground until I either a little swimming pool. The pool wasn’t large or deep, and got bored and left or my friends came out for recess. it was made of concrete with a pyramid-like structure in I went back to West Elementary later in my life the center. I swam there every day during the summer as and saw that the city had covered the cobblestone walls a child. over with a different type of hard material that tore my

Although the pool was small, that never stopped pants when I tried to slide down it. The school had also me from scooting around in it. I still remember the day removed a lot of its playground items: the slides, jungle when I was six and cut myself on a piece of glass at gym, and the little log cabin that children played house in. that pool. Years later, they installed a large, mushroom-

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When I looked at the playground as an adult, a part

When I have time alone to think or reminisce, of me felt as if the world was trying to cover up the my thoughts immediately slip back to when I lived on child in me. that street in that house. I am then flooded with a sense It was almost like that part of my life had never of sadness intertwined with the occasional flush of joy. existed. What I remember about those days is all I have I miss everything about living there, but I know that if it left. wasn’t for the nine years I spent on Silver Street, I

All I ever knew growing up was my little house would not be the person I am today. and neighborhood on Silver Street. I thought life was I know I cannot go back to those days and I have to push like this everywhere. The image of how everything on forward. And although the way I live now is much different my block looked all from the way I lived as “When I looked at the playground the way down to the a child, I still find myself school is imprinted on back to the days as an adult, a part of me felt as if the drifting my brain. I could never on Silver Street. forget my way around world was trying to cover up the child The my neighborhood I have in me. It was almost like that part of my neighborhoods even if I wanted to. All lived in since that time I ever envisioned was were not even close to life had never existed.” society being like my that one, but I always neighborhood: small, mellow, not really all that noisy. hope that one day I will end up on a block much like the Everyone mostly knew everyone, but we left each other one I grew up on. No crime. No disturbances. Just peace alone. Still, we could rely on one another if we needed and quiet. My safe haven. Even if it is only a memory, it anything: a ride, a cup of sugar, the simple things. is mine.

That’s My Name and Welcome to It

I imagine as the California Kentners headed westward, a few of us dropped off along the way. Those less adventurous perhaps or those willing to work instead of seeking quick riches? It is gratifying to notice Wake

Edward L. Kentner

Forest University in North Carolina has named their track field Kentner Stadium.

In recent years I have been intrigued and

Maybe one of my westward relatives hit it rich and

interested to find other men using my name. Mine is

donated to the university just to rub Kentner success in

an uncommon name. Kentner, of German descent, is

the noses of those Kintners who stayed behind. New

sprinkled throughout the lower forty-eight states and

technology has helped me search and find an Edward

is still found in our native Germany. A telephone call

Kentner in Oregon, retired from academics, California

complaint to my trucking office introduced me to my

Eds in multiple locations, one retired Edward in Florida

first Ed Kentner. Other than the Ed Kentner I visit while

at 103 years old, and a straggler Ed in Ohio that never

shaving each morning, I had never considered that there

made it out west.

might be another named as I. After confirming I was not

Other than a happenstance phone call, I have

a victim of a prank call, Ed and I had an interesting visit.

not spoken to nor met another individual with the same

He is much older than I and apparently does not

name as me. During my years of lackluster research,

like big trucks travelling through his Texas hometown.

I have found no other named Edward Lee Kentner.

Once his complaint was logged, he shared that two Kentner brothers sailed from Germany to Philadelphia as they joined millions immigrating to the hundred-year-old republic across the

“The oringinal Kentner brother wanted to distance himself from the departing Kentner so badly that his clan changed the spelling of Kentner to Kintner.�

Atlantic. As each brother

spent time in Wyoming, Utah, then New Mexico, Missouri, Montana, Oklahoma, and Kansas.

My parents moved our family from Wyoming to Utah, New Mexico, and

finally, Missouri. I left Missouri for adventure in northern

increased his family in size, both groups began to fuss

Montana near the Canadian border. After becoming a

and fight amongst themselves. According to Texas Ed,

father, I moved my small family to the promising oilfields

as the feuding continued to escalate, one brother and

of Oklahoma. Here, our family grew to include four

his flock pulled up stakes and headed west for the gold

children. I found people who shared my values and work

in California. The original Kentner brother wanted to distance himself from the departing Kentner so badly that his clan changed the spelling of Kentner to Kintner.

ethic. Twenty years later, I relocated to southern Kansas within sight of the Northwestern Oklahoma border.

My sons and daughters have quickly added to

Ed hung up, leaving me interested in the

the Kentner population. A Kentner quality control expert in

Kentner history within the United States. I confess to being lazy and frugal, so a quick Internet search followed, instead of an exhaustive 23 and Me testing or Mormon-

our beloved Oklahoma has overseen production of pizza, sports drinks, dog food, and medication manufacturing.

Another Kentner is a United States postal employee. He

assisted genealogy research. Families named both

enjoys walking fifteen miles a day in blistering heat and

Kentner and Kintner are scattered nationwide. If what old

freezing cold on the plains of Kansas. A Missouri interior

Texas Ed said is correct, my forefathers headed west.

designer creates eye-catching and mood enhancing

My grandparents, Harold and Mary, made their home in

areas for clients ranging from bankers to retirees. Last

Wyoming, he from Indiana via Missouri, where they met

but not least, a young, undecided adult Kentner still out

and married. Throughout my life our branch of the clan has lived in the Midwestern states between and including Missouri and Montana.

Records will show I have

searching for herself.

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Repeating Reflection Karma brings it back around.

All the mistakes, all those broken things Left behind return, as do gifts freely given.

Elements of yesterday, golden strands of tomorrow spun Into an intricate tapestry of today’s Design, reflections tilted toward each Other. Patterns fashioned and reconstructed

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Create elegance out of tiny bits Of broken glass. Fragments of separate wholes Produce an exquisite, intriguing masterpiece with Each change of perspective, each spin of the wheel.

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- Lois Magner

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Symmetrically, one after the other. Perpetual variations

Hold Tight and Let Go A chubby newborn hand curls around his calloused finger and clutches his heart, his little princess from before her first breath.

Tiny bare feet stumble across the kitchen floor taking first steps into his arms.

She is safe there.

Wide eyes watch his every move.

Imitation births imagination.

Pink cowboy boots follow his every step.

She works beside him mending fences seen and unseen, building tomorrow, repairing yesterday.

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Leather gloves and Dad’s favorite tool box secured in the bed of the truck, she drives away toward new pastures and exhilarating horizons.

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Dusty work-worn Levi’s and Daddy’s old hat exchanged in this moment for a brand-new prom dress and her first high heels.

She is all the best he had to give.

She is tempered steel, honeyed petals, butterfly wings and bailing wire.

Because of her, he is more.

Because of him, she will dare to soar.

They will hold each other close, while they learn to let go.

- Lois Magner

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&

Ribbons and Paw Prints Hair bows and ribbons everywhere but on her head, wispy strands of hair pointing every which way in true toddler fashion.

Sticky hands sort through countless treasures, while across the room, small fuzzy movement pulls her into orbit.

Hungry yaps chase after mother, and little wet noses sniff the air, capturing her true toddler scent.

Tiny paws scrabble against hardwood, investigating the mysterious unknown of someone new.

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- Noemi Rodriguez

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The pitter-patter of tiny feet collides with the scuffle of slippery, scuttling paws.

Yips and giggling converge into a puddle of harmony.

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A someone not as large as expected – a someone squealing in joy just to spot them.

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Our Rainwater Puddle Fish of Iglesia San Francisco de Asis Warm rain caressed the dry land, a gift bestowed upon the little village.

Small bare feet slap on cool stone floors, trailing the sound to warm concrete sidewalks and flooded ditch pools.

Humidity – a thick and heavy shawl of dew on the skin.

The child’s wide eyes glance at the waterfalls from the hilltop church.

She wades ankle-deep to the crossroads, giggling at the heaven-sent marvels on grandma’s doorstep.

The browns and grays unveiled beneath her waterlogged tread.

A soft, mossy murkiness settles underfoot.

A fish?!

It slithers – smooth distended ball of pliant springy flesh.

She squeals to have discovered such a creature while bouncing amphibians never cross her mind.

That space inside a strictly innocent mind insists on a fish that swims in puddles come to visit from that white hilltop church and its rushing waterfall.

The purity of a sweet child’s judgment, becomes the permanent haven of the rainwater puddle fish.

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- Noemi Rodriguez

Are You Chloe ’s Daughter?

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gained a sense of appreciation for this building.

By opening and closing the store with my mom, I got to know the building like the back of my hand. I spent a great deal of my time in the office. This is where I did my homework and drew or colored pages to hang up all around the office for my mom and her co-workers.

I was always sure to leave a blanket or big jacket in the office because the freezer was next to it, and when the employees opened it, it was freezing. To the right of the freezer was the refrigerator; then came my favorite door of the whole store, the back door. As a part of my routine, when someone knocked on the back door, I was always the one to open it. The person I saw most frequently was the bread guy. He was my favorite because he would always say, “Hello little missy, what have you learned today?” and I would tell him all about my day and what I did and how much I had learned—it was always a great conversation.

During the years since those days, Arby’s has been remodeled, and although the physical appearance of Arby’s has changed, a few of the employees have remained. The Arby’s crew eleven years ago was a group of people I thought of as my adopted aunts and uncles. Many of them have moved on to bigger and better opportunities, but they still remember the little girl they knew as “Chloe’s daughter”. When I moved back to Liberal after graduating from high school in Hooker,

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Oklahoma, and I really missed my mom, I went to Arby’s. The first thing I heard I when I walked in was, Letty Munoz “Are you Chloe’s’ daughter?” After so many years, an employee remembered me, and I felt like I was home

“Arby’s, We Have the Meats” is a tagline for a place I hold close to my heart. For others, Arby’s is simply again. The joy of reconnecting with an old friend in Arby’s reminded me of my roots. a fast-food restaurant, but for me Arby’s is much like a When my mom became independent, she started out second home. From taking the pickles and bell peppers at Arby’s and eventually moved on, but she worked out in the morning to sleeping on chairs lined up in a hard to be where she is now, and it all started at Arby’s. row, Arby’s contributed to who I am. Spending a large So the day I became part of my childhood in independent and moved a restaurant has shaped “The first thing I heard is when I out to be on my own and who I am more than went to Arby’s, it was walked in was, “Are you Chloe’s anything else I have a connection. I knew experienced. daughter?”

After so many years, an exactly what I had to do to

My mother, Chloe, worked at Arby’s from employee remembered me, and I felt become successful, and that was to work hard. the time I was born until like I was home again.”

Everyone knows that; I was eleven years old, however, knowing it and and I spent most of my experiencing it with a story behind it makes a difference. days there. I was there with my mom before school and

Spending most of my childhood in a restaurant there after school until almost midnight, every night. My was the best experience during that time in my life. It mother often worked sixty hours a week to support us, so taught me discipline, good communication, a strong work I knew at a young age I had to work for what I wanted. My ethic, leadership, adaptability, teamwork, creativeness, mom illustrated an outstanding work ethic that I will never and, most importantly, how to sleep on a row of chairs forget. Performing my very best in the work force is a skill comfortably.

This place from my childhood has given me I gained from following my mom around the store. I got to a sense of who I am. I will always look at Arby’s as more witness first-hand my mother working, and as I realized than just a restaurant to grab lunch in Liberal, Kansas.

Arby’s was the source of our money for so many years, I

The Second Chance A cloud hovers heavily overhead for years. Father shackles me with his ideals, while Mother breaks every chain constricting my capabilities. He is not a soft man — old in his ways, the valleys between us steep and severe. He warns, “Living life with her will be a mistake.” Ignoring his words I plan my escape with Jezebel and become a sojourner in her land. Over the years the cloud continues to cover my course as tension sizzles between us. With my back fusing with the wall, only one option is evident.

The journey is long, but I pull up to the familiar driveway with my life in a U-Haul and five smaller clones snoring a serene sound – my dignity dwindling to nothing. His proverbial voice says, “We’ll start early in the morning.” The cloud slowly spills into the sapphire sky.

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-Andy Dinh

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Sleep Paralysis I gaze at the ceiling, hoping the Sandman comes and visits soon. Seconds and minutes pass as my chest does its best elevator impression. But as bliss approaches, my heart beat mimics a drumroll. Regulating the arrhythmia is futile. The Sandman called in sick and his substitute is a being with a black hat – the Boogeyman’s nightmare, The Hat Man. Its presence shakes the entire room, yet the room is completely still. It lurches towards my bed from the hallway. I battle to get out of bed, but my body is in quicksand – Houdini would have met his match. Its fanfare is white noise and becomes ear-splitting with every step; I yearn for nails on chalkboard. My vision begins to seize in and out of focus. The dimension quakes with a score of 10 on the Richter scale. I hopelessly howl, but all that ebbs out is a guttural groan. The Hat Man is at the bed and my body convulses—white flags wave.

I come to, saturated in sweat. My limbs ache and no longer stupefy, but sleep still shackles my eyes. I fear the Hat Man lurks in the hallway. My heart beats a slow beat.

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-Andy Dinh

Escritoire My younger self longed for your guidance. Sleep lost because my eagerness was the caffeine that fought dreams away. You fostered immeasurable imagination – Google in my hand. But creativity was curbed by tenured teachers, experimental curriculums, and standardized testing. My gifts in return became unwanted tattoos and sticky, flavorless gum.

A dozen years in the educational assembly line, I cast you aside, but my father’s dreams had us arranged together. College was an attempt to rekindle what once was, but I skipped out on you, perpetually unpunctual to our daily meetings, or used you to count sheep with the occasional pool of drool.

Our relationship was severed when I walked across the stage to accept my participation award. Jobs came and went like high school relationships, and my desire for something more satiating brought me back to you. Your tattoos didn’t age well, and the flavorless gum had fused to you. Yet, underneath all the filth, my memories reminded me of what your guidance led to: a chance.

Escritoire — “a writing desk”

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-Andy Dinh

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An Unforgettable Week

minutes after my dad arrived home around 5:30 p.m., the Beaver County Sheriff started going around town, Cassandra Arredondo telling all of us who lived in Gate to evacuate.

We packed the most important things and left.

March 6, 2017, is a day that nobody in the We were surrounded by fire, and the only place to go panhandle of Texas, Southwest Kansas, or Northwest was south to Slapout, Oklahoma, a small town with a Oklahoma will ever forget. In March of that year, three population of about ten people and only one gas station. wildfires broke out: the Starbuck, the 283, and the When we got to Slapout, over a hundred people were Selman Fire. These fires later became known as the there. We all crowded into the gas station, and while Northwest Complex Fires. The Starbuck Fire hit near we were there, more and more people came. The fire my small town of Gate, Oklahoma, and started from a was about twenty miles from the gas station, but it was power line that got knocked down due to strong winds. moving so fast that it seemed closer. We stayed at the The wildfires were out of control for days. I will never gas station for five hours, not knowing whether our town forget how devastating these fires were, but I will also and homes had been burned or not. By the time it got remember the generous response from people around dark, all we could see to the north were flames. Finally, at the country. ten o’clock that night, we were told it was safe to go back On Monday, March 6, 2017, I went to school just to Gate. However, we were told to keep an eye on the fire like any other day. However, terrible winds were forecast just in case the wind was to shift directions again. for the day, and Northwest Oklahoma was under a fire When we got back to Gate, I was happy to see watch warning. Winds were predicted to reach anywhere that the town was still standing. Back at our house, I from 50 to 60 miles per hour. I went to high school in looked out the window and saw flames to the north and Laverne, Oklahoma, and throughout my morning classes, the red and blue lights of fire trucks. My father decided to all I could hear was the go check on the ranch. He sound of the wind. Each “We stayed at the gas station for five left at ten-thirty and did not minute, the wind kept get back until midnight. getting stronger and hours, not knowing whether our town When he got home, he louder. Then I heard the us the smoke was and homes had been burned or not.” told sirens of the fire trucks, so thick and dark that he and I thought to myself, hadn’t been able to make “With this wind, the fire will be out of control.” After it all the way to the ranch. He stopped at a hill two miles chemistry class, my friends and I looked out the school’s from the ranch, and from there, he saw that the fire was glass doors, and we could see smoke north of town. We burning so rapidly that he felt sure the ranch was gone. did not know where the fire was, but we figured it was We woke to a second day of fire just like the first. somewhere north of Laverne.

The winds were predicted to blow over 50 miles per hour At lunch time, I checked Facebook on my cell and shift directions. I turned on the television, expecting phone to see if there was any news about the fire. A to see the major news stations, NBC, ABC, and, CBS, storm chaser reported a wildfire in northern Beaver reporting on the fires. Instead, they were talking about County in Oklahoma. I got scared because my home healthcare reform. That made me mad because I was in Gate is in Beaver County. I worried the fire would thinking people could be dying in these fires, and all the reach our town and destroy it. As I read about the fire on news stations were talking about was some healthcare my phone, I looked up at the sky and saw smoke and reform. eventually caught the scent of the fire as it grew closer.

As I headed to school, all I could see for miles On the way home after school, I heard on the was black ground on either side of the road. Seven miles radio the news of two other fires, the Selman Fire, north north of Laverne, the black fields were filled with burnt of Woodward, Oklahoma, and the 283, near Laverne. pregnant cattle. Seeing all the dead livestock made me When I got home, my mother and sister told me the wind sad because they were not able to escape the fire. At had blown hard all day and they had heard fire trucks school, everyone was talking about the fire and showing going to the north, east, and west of Gate. I checked pictures and videos. About 1:30 in the afternoon, the Facebook and saw that news stations were on Facebook high school principal told those of us who lived outside of Live reporting about the fire. As I watched Facebook Live, Laverne that we were excused to go home because the I could see smoke north of Gate, and I began worrying fire was expected to cause the road to be closed soon. about my father, who works on a ranch six miles north of My sister picked me up from school and told me Gate. We tried to call my father, but he did not answer. the Starbuck Fire was now south of Gate. As we

My father finally called my mother and told her that the drove home, we saw an amazing sight: fire trucks fire was near the ranch, but he was okay. About ten from Mississippi, Tennessee, Louisiana, Kentucky,

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Colorado, and California. The wildfire was so big that night ever. Laurie’s Café is not usually open weekends, communities from four hours away came to help fight the and I was happy to get a break from working all week. fire. We made it to Gate just before three, and as soon as However, when the firefighters found out that Laurie’s we got home, we saw on Facebook that Highway 64 was Café would not be open on the weekend, they were closed because the fire had jumped the road and was disappointed, so the owner opened on Saturday to feed burning on both sides of the highway. I worried that Gate the firefighters. would be evacuated again.

Even though the wildfires were not covered By the end of the day, the wind had died down, nationally on television, everyone saw the news on social but the fires were still burning. Even though the wind was media. People from around the country loaded seminot blowing as hard, the fires were still big. The wildfire trucks with hay bales and fencing supplies. Thirty semiwas several miles wide at that point, and the firefighters trucks, one after another, rolled down the highway. When had been fighting this fire for over twenty-four hours with I saw the trucks with everything they brought, it made my no sleep. They decided it would be best to let the fires heart so happy. Many farmers lost everything in the fire, burn and just protect the houses that were in the fire’s and these complete strangers were willing to drive hours path. to donate supplies and help rebuild fences.

When the wildfire had calmed down after the Those of us who went through the experience third day, my family and I decided to drive out to the of the Northwest Complex Fire will always remember country to see the damage. We drove to the ranch where what happened that week in March 2017. The Northwest my dad works, and, thankfully, it had not burned after Complex Fire burned over 700,000 acres of land and all. There was just some resulted in the deaths of damage to one of the “Thirty semi-trucks, one after another, thousands of animals. fields. We passed another I learned that through rolled down the highway. When I field that had some burnt tough times, people cattle that had no chance saw the trucks with everything they will come together to of escaping the fire, and help others affected brought, it made my heart so happy.” by disastrous events. once again drove down a road where the ground Material possessions are was black on both sides. The trees were burnt and replaceable, but the memories of the wildfire will forever black, too. We headed to Englewood, Kansas, where the stay with me.

Starbuck fire hit the hardest. In Englewood, we saw a house that had its side melted. The fire had destroyed six houses. We have friends who own a house in Englewood, so we went to check on it. The fire had burned the garage and the area all around the house. We could see the path that the fire took, and it made it all the way to the door of the house, but, amazingly, did not burn the house.

Next we went to Englewood’s cemetery, where two family friends are buried. The fire had burned all the grass and flowers around the tombstones. However, when we got to our friends’ tombstones, we saw that a straw hat and can of pop had not burned. I was astonished and puzzled how the hat and pop did not burn when everything else had. I posted a picture on Snapchat, and my friend sent me a message saying, “Grandpa must have been watering clear from Heaven because he loved to water everything when he was alive.” When my friend told me that about her grandpa, I was at a loss for words.

A week after the wildfire started, it was still Diana Nieto only ten percent contained. Many firefighters remained -Just Peachyin the area watching for hot spots. In Gate, firefighters Digital Photo from Tennessee and Louisiana stayed at the community center for a week and a half. I was on spring break during this time and helping out at Laurie’s Café, where the firefighters ate every day. Friday night at Laurie’s Café is also steak night, and that night was the busiest Friday

An Unexpected Gift

look up at her. Why did it have to have those big eyes? The stupid thing seemed to be staring into her soul. It was cute, but Allison never had good luck with Mackenzie Farmer pets. Every animal she’d lived with had hated her.

The stupid cat regularly came in and scratched at the Allison stared in disgust at the cage sitting on her furniture, and Sammy, Allison’s little sister, had a guinea desk. She’d asked for a new cell-phone or perhaps an pig that bit her every time she tried to pet it. interesting book for her birthday, but of course her rather A knock at her door startled Allison out of her eccentric aunt, Mayra, couldn’t be bothered to take a thoughts.

“Door’s unlocked.” suggestion. It was just her gifts that bothered Allison. Aunt Her mom stepped into the bedroom. “Hey Allison, Mayra was sweet and meant well, but she was just a bit I’m really sorry about Aunt Mayra’s gift. I tried to talk her quirky. Every year Allison received a gift that was quickly out of it, but you know how she is.” hidden away in the back of her closet. Last year it had Allison sighed. “Yeah, it’s fine.” been a dress from some country she’d never heard of “If you don’t want him, we can find him another before made with ridiculously bright colors. The worst part home,” her mother suggested. was Allison didn’t even wear dresses, but Aunt Mayra had “Yeah, that might be for the best.” liked it, so Allison tried to be polite. The year after that “We can decide what we’re going to do tomorrow.” she’d sent her gift because she was out of the country After her mother left the room, Allison watched traveling. Allison had opened a box holding an elaborate the sugar glider. He was standing at the side of the cage feather-covered mask. It was interesting, but she had no now. It almost looked like he was waiting. Experimentally, intention of wearing it or putting it on display.

Allison opened the cage This year definitely and held her hand out, took the cake. It was on “Why did it have to have those big wondering what the tiny another level entirely. Her aunt had arrived emptyeyes? The stupid thing seemed to be creature would do. He climbed onto her hand and handed with a wide smile staring into her soul.”

Allison had to ignore the that automatically made urge to shake him off.

Allison nervous. They “Are you an evil little demon creature like my finished cake and moved onto gifts. Still nothing from sister’s guinea pig?

Speak now.

It may affect my Aunt Mayra. Carefully Allison unwrapped each gift and decision.” The sugar glider said nothing. Carefully Allison thanked everyone. Aunt Mayra stood and announced placed him back into the cage and stared at her phone. it was time for her gift and hurried out to her car. She She scrolled through her contacts and chose one. “Hey, returned with a blue cage, like the ones rabbits are kept Kimberly, what do you know about sugar gliders?” in. Allison stared incomprehensibly at the small creature sitting in the bottom of the cage nibbling on what looked like a chunk of a pear.

The creature could have easily fit into the palm of her hand. It had short grey fur, a dark stripe down its back, and big black eyes. As Allison watched, the furry animal dropped its food and ran over to the side of the cage where it curled up and fell asleep.

“What is that?” Allison asked hesitantly.

Aunt Mayra grinned. “He’s a sugar glider.”

“Oh, Thanks. It’s…” She tried to find the proper word and settled for “cute.”

She’d tried to push the sugar glider from her mind as the party continued, but she couldn’t do it. What on Earth was she supposed to do with a sugar glider? She knew absolutely nothing about them. Kimberly might know something—she knew a little about just about every animal. Or the smarter decision would be to just get rid of it. Surely someone would take it off her hands. She had friends who liked rodents, but was it even a rodent?

That evening Allison laid down watching the sugar glider. It was running around now instead of sleeping.

Logo for Telolith by Amy Friesen Sugar gliders must be nocturnal, she thought to herself.

Hopefully they weren’t too loud. Every so often it would

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A Cage of Marble and Gold

slipped on the ice. She landed hard, shaking the tree branches above her and causing the icicles clinging Adan Gutierrez to them to fall. The icicles hit her face, creating deep gashes on both of her cheeks. She ran back home, blood Once upon a time, a woman and a man got gushing down her face. When her husband returned the married in the House of God. They were both very much next day, he asked her about the bandages on either in love, and when the priest said that the husband may side of her face. She recounted the story to him. He was now kiss the bride, they embraced, becoming one. furious.

The husband, with good intentions in his heart, The wife was beginning to grow tired of her decided to build a new house for himself and his bride. husband’s reactions to her outings. The following day, the He was very wealthy and spared no expense. The husband announced that he planned to attach a church to structure itself was made from marble, the door knobs their house and find a priest who would be able to stay at were made of gold, the curtains from the finest silk. When their home indefinitely. The wife was furious but didn’t say the bride crossed the home’s threshold in her husband’s anything. For months, the wife stayed indoors, only ever arms, she told him how much she loved it. The couple feeling sunshine through windows. She grew sad. lived happily ever after, until sadly, they didn’t.

One morning, while she was eating breakfast, One spring day, she gazed outside. She “She noticed a pair of girls freely the bride decided to noticed a pair of girls go out and explore the walking on the road across from her freely walking on the house’s grounds while road across from her house. For the next week, the wife the husband was at house. For the next work. She decided that pondered that fact that even children week, the wife pondered the only thing that was were allowed more freedom than she.” that fact that even missing from her home children were allowed was a beautiful garden. more freedom than she.

When her husband arrived home from work, she asked if She began to resent her husband more and more. While they could add a garden to the estate. he was satisfied with her wasting her life as if she were “But, my love, I don’t want you outside. You nothing more than a piece of art in his house, something could get hurt!” he replied. to be put on a shelf and never touched, she was rotting The couple argued about it until they settled on away like a corpse, breathing, but dead. Any happiness an agreement—-a garden would be added. However, that she had had seeped away. it would be an indoor garden, directly attached to the This anger grew into a powerful energy, into house, to ensure the wife’s safety. something fantastical, manifesting itself as magic, magic One fall morning, while the wife tended to the that the wife could use against her husband. One night, plants in the indoor garden, she decided that she needed as her husband slept by her side, she cast a spell on him a new coat for the coming cold weather. While her that restricted all movement. She woke him up. husband was at work, she made her way to the market.

“You have treated me like a pet. Like I was She bought a brand new coat, one that was both practical nothing but an object, something material. I am a human, and stylish. made of emotions, wants, and needs. You have failed me That night, her husband asked her about as a husband. For that, I will leave you to the same fate the coat. “Where did you get the coat, my love?” She that you were ready to leave me with.” explained how she had gone into town to buy herself a The husband didn’t interrupt her, for she had cast new one for the winter. He seemed angry, but when he an enchantment that took away his voice. For the first woke up the next day, his smile had returned. He told his time since their marriage, the husband looked at her as wife that he would be hiring an in-home seamstress to an equal, someone just as capable as he, in strength, in satisfy her clothing needs. Then she wouldn’t need to go power, in causing fear. As she left her house, she cast to town anymore. The wife was upset, but as the days a spell that would forever lock her husband inside the passed, she slowly forgot her anger. Once the winter house. season arrived, the snow began to fall heavily. On a What was once meant to be a luxurious sanctuary particular Sunday, when the husband had left the house for her had instead become a cage of marble and gold. A to attend to business matters, the wife decided to go to cage that now entrapped the man who forced her into it.

Mass, despite the harsh conditions. On her way, she

23

Do You Like Me Today?

again forgotten that several years before your boy and an elderly friend of his had gone missing. They weren’t located until weeks later. Law enforcement and citizens Nancy Kletecka alike searched everywhere. Fliers bearing their photos I heard you before I saw you, as your shrill voice and asking for information were printed in newspapers, echoed throughout the hallway. “Help me,” you cried, with taped to store windows, handed out at events—each with the hope that it would bring answers for the lost. For a no sense of urgency, no panic, no fear. No one I passed little while, it was a mystery. Then the car they were in did more than offer a listening ear in your direction. They knew you by now. There was only “Help me,” a command was discovered upside down at the bottom of a ravine. I could not bring myself to be the cause of you reliving that you made several times a day —waiting on someone to memory again, knowing you would want to call. magically appear. As I entered the room, you looked up, The life you and your son lived was not what clinging tightly to your favorite blanket. Your wheelchair bore the sticky grime of what most likely was remnants of those without special challenges could ever understand.

You were in your own world and, perhaps, thankfully, your favorite treat—peanut butter with a whole lot of jelly could not fathom the cruelty of this world. Most people dripping from the edges of a slice of white bread—was it avoided you—afraid of what—the unknown, perhaps? today’s or last week’s?

Whatever the case, they would make a wide berth Your hair was more salt than pepper. It was around you and your boy, whether in a store or on a coarse and stood straight up like that of a professor from sidewalk. Still others were horribly cruel in their words a sci-fi movie, or perhaps Albert Einstein just wakened and actions, again perhaps a result of the unknown and from a deep slumber. As I approached, you looked up at misunderstood or even worse, just because. People me, chewing on your last bite from breakfast, egg yolk would make fun of you both, throw things at your son, already drying on your protruding lip and foamy drool call him names such as slowly sliding down your “wacko”, “dumbo” chin. A strong urine odor “Most people avoided you—afraid of “retard”, and “freak.” They would overcame me, perhaps what—the unknown, perhaps?” take things away from from your disheveled him, like his favorite yellow and unclean clothes. I ball, hide his bicycle, take imagined you had once off the bike’s chain, pretend to be his friend and then run again been fighting those who were determined to bathe you, and obviously you had once again won that battle. “I away from him knowing due to his physical challenges he couldn’t possibly keep up. In school, your boy was need my apron—my good one,” you commanded. Barely segregated—separated from all the other kids. Perhaps hanging on a hook by a tattered thread, the apron’s once parents and educators were worried the challenges bright material, bordered in red and white checks, was now so faded it was difficult to make out the once colorful he possessed would rub off on others. Whatever their reasoning, it kept him from getting to know anyone and roosters and chickens in a barnyard. I slipped it carefully from anyone getting to know him. over your head, and your wrinkled, bent fingers slowly As a child, I was afraid of you — and your boy. smoothed each line as if they were touching the finest of I avoided you. I did not understand who you were or silk.

You pointed to a picture taped to your mirror and what your challenges were. Your boy added to that as he chased my friends and me around the neighborhood, proudly said, “That there’s my boy.” The image brought stole our dolls and other toys, and seemingly taunted us back a time we shared a neighborhood, where daily you at every turn. When we retrieved our dolls, we found he could be found going up and down the block screaming had pulled out their hair, taken off their heads, arms, and “Ri-chaaard” at the top of your lungs—looking for your legs, and left them unrecognizable. We didn’t take the boy. Your familiar gait identifying you even before you time to find out why or have a conversation with him. We spoke. ran. We were afraid.

“Could you call him for me?” you asked.

I wish I had known then what I know now. I wish “Who?” I asked.

I had taken the time to get to know your son, Richard. I “My boy,” you replied. wish I had made the effort to appreciate the personality I told you I would, although I knew that request he possessed just under the surface. The fun-loving was impossible. Your boy had been killed several jokester I learned about later from a friend. I wish I had years before when the car he was riding in crashed. To taken the time to get to know you, his mother, also a tell you would be to repeat what several had told you jokester who delighted in good-naturedly teasing others, before, breaking your heart once again. There was no who enjoyed simple things such as a coloring page, a good purpose to that. Your mind would not allow you soft piece of cloth, a comfortable blanket, holding a hand, to remember some things for very long, protecting you, having a conversation, smelling a flower, or just listening I suppose, from the difficult moments. You had once

24

to the songs of a bird. time you had seen them.

I was snapped back from my reminiscent A few weeks later, I took some vacation days, moment by you tugging at my arm, “Do you like me and when I returned home, I noticed the red flashing light today?” you asked. on my telephone indicating someone had called. I played “Yes,” I said. “I do.” the message on the machine, and a voice asked me Not even waiting for my response, you quickly to call regarding Lucille. My heart sank. I knew before I slapped my hand and announced, “You haven’t fixed my dialed it could not be good news. I dialed the number, and hair.” I located your already hair-filled brush and began the voice on the other end said what I knew I would hear: to slowly work it down through your tangled coarse locks. “She’s not doing well. It won’t be long now. She’s been After only a couple of brushes, you once again slapped asking for you.” I gathered my keys back up and headed my hand announcing, “That’s enough – leave me be.” to my car for the short drive to the hospital.

I chuckled as I remembered a time years before When I walked into the room, you perked up just when you were still driving a car and long before you the slightest and said, “Hey girl, where did you go?” lost your son. You were driving around and around our In all the years I knew you, my name always neighborhood block searching for him, eventually locating escaped you. Everyone had come to know who you were him in a nearby empty lot. He was on his bicycle. No looking for, however, and knew “girl” could only be me. sooner had you gotten out of your car than he jumped off “I’ve been away for a few days,” I said, “but I’m back his bike and scrambled behind the wheel of your car. Not now.” exactly Mario Andretti, “You left me,” he drove in slow circles, you wailed, as you “Not exactly Mario Andretti, he drove attempted to grab my chasing you around the lot. Yes, it was in slow circles, chasing you around the hand. Again, I said, a humorous, albeit, dangerous situation.

“I’m here now. I would lot.”

Illustrating you were not leave you.” more able than many You pondered assumed, you soon jumped on his bicycle and the chase my answer and then in your weakening voice asked me continued. At the time, it didn’t cross my mind someone the question I had heard so many times before, but now could have been hurt. Thank goodness, that didn’t would hear for the very last time. “Do you like me today?” happen. The humor in it now comes to me as a fond “Of course I do, Lucille,” I said. “I like you every memory of two misunderstood souls. day.”

In the corner of my eye I saw it coming. Moving Your face lit up in toothless grin with the quickly, I just missed the kick. “Get out of my way!” you brilliance of an angel as you said, “I love you.” shrieked.

“I love you more,” I replied.

“Now Lucille,” I said, “remember, we don’t kick.”

A crooked grin spread across your face, “You don’t, but I sure do,” you replied. “Do you like me today?”

A deep sigh and then – “yes, I do,” I said.

A woman passed outside your door just as the kick was in motion. “You need to teach her better,” she exclaimed, using a tone of disapproval. “People like that need discipline.”

“That’s interesting,” I said, “because it is she who has taught me over the years.” Quieted for just a moment, with a huff, the woman moved on down the hallway. The brief exchange with the woman appeared to go unnoticed by you, and without missing a beat it, was soon back to business as usual.

Bent over from age and life’s challenges, you threw a dime-store necklace at me, announcing you wanted to wear your “pearls.” I moved to put them around your neck, and just as I put the two ends together and closed the clasp, you again asked, “Do you like me today?”

I stopped for a second and bent down so our eyes could meet. “Of course I do, Lucille,” I replied.

After putting on your finishing touches, I pushed your chair down to the atrium so you could watch the birds— Logo for Telolith by Annie Wall something you enjoyed each day—as if it were the first

25

Freedom at What Cost

Michelle Mattich -UntitledDigital Photo

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Telolith

A courtroom crowded with drug-addicted shoplifters, each hoping time served is enough penitence for the calm, patient, efficient, presiding judge.

Each soon-to-be-hardened criminal consulted three minutes with a court-appointed attorney who limped to her seat wearing a broken ankle cast.

Braced knee upon a chair with wounded ankle suspended, she quickly coached petty criminals to plead guilty to each pending charge. Time served with one year probation.

Presiding judge, district attorney, defense attorney, each played appointed roles while naïve, petty offenders rejoiced as the well-set trap was baited with short-term freedom.

-Edward L. Kentner

Moscow ’s Little Shed

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Telolith

small, daily tasks could lead to big gains in the long run. In the weight room, I not only lifted, but I also did Rafael Axel Granillo other simple exercises like jumping rope for a couple of minutes every day. After a workout was over, I often felt

All hard-working athletes know the correlation that jumping rope had had no impact on my athleticism. between summer and lifting weights, and I am no However, by the time summer was over, I began to see exception. My summer mornings were spent pumping big improvements in my jumping ability from that simple, iron in a dull, tiny, colorless shed. This shed was and tedious task of jumping rope every day. This example has is Moscow’s weight room. I’d wake up and meet my helped me remain diligent and trust the process. coaches and teammates in the weight room every

Although Moscow’s weight room has not weekday just as the sun began to shine strongly. As I put changed, I look at it differently now than I did my on my workout clothes and headed to the weight room freshman year of high school. I no longer see this shed for the day, the realization of how bad my body was going as just a place to to hurt during the grow muscles, jump “This shed to me is a place that develops higher, or run faster. workout would hit me.

It was here in this boys and girls into men and women.”

I see this shed as old, beat-up shed— place where kids the size of a two-car learn the importance garage—that I developed diligence and the ability to step of hard work, diligence, and perseverance. This shed to out of my comfort zone. me is a place that develops boys and girls into men and

Every time I pass by the Moscow weight room women. This old, beat-up little shed has prepared me to today, I am reminded of how much pain and diligence persevere through the many challenges the world has goes into accomplishing goals. Most people passing by waiting for me. this weight room may see just a shed. But when I pass by, I see rusty orange barbells with heavy steel weights lying on stained black mats. I see creased torn-up leather belts. I see a thick black metal squat rack that has witnessed many failed squat attempts. I see a group of high school kids lifting weights, helping each other out, and bonding in the process of doing so. Whether the kids realized it or not, they were being instilled with qualities that would later help them overcome the obstacles, tragedies, and rough times that this life is sure to bring.

Although the main purpose of the weight room was to help me become physically stronger in order to defeat the competition in athletic activities, it also made me mentally stronger and allowed me to overcome challenges outside of athletics. Every time I lifted to the point of failure and exhaustion and didn’t think I could do one more repetition, I would dig deep within myself and finish a grueling set. Having lifted weights for all of my high school years, I took this quality of pushing past my comfort zone and applied it to every aspect of my life, whether that be writing an extra page for an essay, reading another chapter in a book, or shoveling an extra pile of manure when helping my dad work. Today, I push myself even when the voice in my head tells me to quit Annie Wall and makes excuses for why I cannot or should not do a -Golden Girltask that takes me out of my comfort zone.

Conte

The weight room not only assisted me in becoming mentally stronger, it also showed me how

class without any power and trying to recover the lost time was very frustrating. As time passed, I also felt like it was meaningless to study because the universities and Dorianne Lebrón Malavé institutions in Puerto Rico were affected economically, academically, and structurally.

The unforgettable and most painful date when Seeing the status of the educational system, I Hurricane María struck Puerto Rico was September 20, did not have any type of motivation. I did not feel ambi2017. This natural disaster left the island trying to recover tious or eager to apply to college when everything around power for eleven months. Though devastating, Hurricane me was breaking apart. This is when I started to feel inseMaría was an eye-opening experience that impacted me cure because I did not know if I wanted to study at home with the reality and possibilities of my future. in Puerto Rico, or if I wanted to apply to colleges in the Before the hurricane, my life was easy-going and United States. Even though I did not have the motivation calm. If I had any days filled with stress, I have no recall or confidence for college, I still searched for different opof them. However, I think about the stress and frustrations tions and submitted applications. I did get accepted to my I experienced after the hurricane, and I can list numerous first option, but something inside me was telling me that times where I did not pass a day without hassles. I had this wasn’t enough. I didn’t know where was this feeling barely started my senior year of high school, and we had coming from, but I decided not to ignore it. already lost one month of class. During this month, I saw Since I decided not to ignore what I was feeling, things that I never thought I would witness in my home of I took the time to identify what I was experiencing. My Puerto Rico. I saw the desperation of my family members parents, brothers, aunts, and grandparents were all proud as they tried to contact relatives who lived on different that I had already got my acceptance letter from the parts of the island but couldn’t because there was no University of Cayey, Puerto cell phone signal. I saw “Also, I saw a room of relatives Rico. All of them were neighbors, friends, and with the institution instantly filled with sorrow when they familiar relatives broken-hearted and knew it was a good with teary eyes right after gave the news to my grandmother that one. Despite that, I still they stepped outside and felt uneasy and ashamed she had lost her home.” saw what the hurricane because I could not seem had left behind. Also, I to make a concrete decisaw a room of relatives instantly filled with sorrow when sion. I saw how close friends and classmates had already they gave the news to my grandmother that she had lost decided their future, and I was still without any direction, her home. I saw hopelessness and pain every day. I saw apathetic. it in the long lines of people waiting to get water, food, or After months filled with stress and wondering, I gas. I saw it as people looked around their houses to see had an epiphany about feeling insufficient. At this mowhat was destroyed or lost. I saw it when people waited ment, I realized that I had overcome one of the biggest more than five hours to get any resources, and still did challenges, and that was surviving the hurricane and its not get enough for themselves or their families. People aftermath. Instead of feeling broken-hearted by seeing would spend the entire day trying to get necessities, but it the people around me suffering, I started seeing it as an did not suffice under the circumstances they were in. The impulse of resilience. I knew that being pessimistic about worst part of these images is that I did not see the feelmy present surroundings would only affect my future. In ings of grief and pain for only one month—I saw them for addition, I knew that the negativity I was radiating was more than a year. harmful to myself, my family, and my home. I knew what The impact of the hurricane was different for my family had been through during the past months, and each person; my major challenge was completing my I knew that treating my future without any importance last year of high school. I was desperate and anxious would make things worse. For this reason, I picked mybecause I wanted only two things: to graduate from high self up because I knew what I was capable of. school and to get accepted into college. I was uneasy After making it through the hurricane and what because of the conditions under which I had to complete was left of high school, I got the opportunity to study school. After losing a month of school, when I finally biology at Seward County Community College with an came back, things were different. I had to go to class athletic scholarship. I still felt something inside of me, but without electricity and water for almost two months, this time it was different. I felt a spark guiding my future and the process of adapting was difficult. I had to take success. I found strength and a sense of prosperity within combined classes with the purpose to cover all the lost the situation of the hurricane. Even though many things material from the lost month and get back on track. The were affected directly and indirectly by Hurricane María, difficulty of this was that many of my classes were taught I value the experience because it made me take initiative with technology and online. For this reason, going to for my future, and it helped me improve my mentality.

The Passing of Hurricane Maria

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Telolith

Annie Wall -Fiji TimeDigital illustration

elolith Logo for Telolith by Annie Wall

Logo for Telolith by Axel Jones

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The Darkness Walks With Me While walking around half past three, I notice campus is eerily quiet.

Even the early risers are still in bed.

I give it another hour or so before one or two might wake.

Until then, it’s just me and the night.

I know I should be sleeping.

Class is exhausting enough when I have to deal with the jokes or rude comments. I’ve tossed and turned, but there will be no sleep.

I feel myself drawn to the night.

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Phillip Lee -The ShadowDigital Photo

Mattie Duckworth -ImagineOil on Posterboard

Telolith

Telolith

I’ve dealt with it all my life: always being asked why I’m so odd.

Yeah, I’m different, maybe even a little strange, which is why the night is my home, my only friend.

-Mackenzie Farmer

Telolith

The sky is dark, but it seems to welcome me with open arms.

This is where I belong, here and now in the dark, far away from those who don’t care.

I no longer have to pretend.

Alone, nobody here hates the real me.

Homecoming Parade Never been quite sure why some people get so excited for a homecoming parade.

As a child, I went for the band, but for the band, it’s just another grade.

It’s just a small-town parade.

Old cars with past graduates roll through streets lined with people both young and old. Kids grin because school is out early.

All that work for a twentyminute parade. There’s music and cheering, but afterwards, only the noise of cars driving the now empty streets.

-Mackenzie Farmer

Kaitlyn Van Vleet -UntitledDigital Photo

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Telolith

Uniforms of red, white, and black too hot for warm afternoons.

Nobody is prepared, but it’s too late now.

Feathery white plumes are placed on hats while we find our place in parade block.

Rodrigo Sanchez -UntitledAcrylic Painting

Logo for Telolith by Luis Martinez

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Telolith

T 31

Oh, Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

Andy Dinh

director.

Brandon runs down the stairs and trips.

“CUT! Shiloh! Are you all right?” shouts the

“Yeah. I just tripped over myself,” replies Shiloh.

“Good. Fantastic! Okay, the scene with you and “Sherry, Sherry baby!” Brandon turns on the Cody was great. I think we’re going to keep it, but I do basement light. “Come come, come out tonight.” want another take just in case. Cody, how did you fee….

He kicks the lifeless body. The man wakes up Can someone get Cody a towel and uncuff him please?” trying his best to shake the sleep from his eyes. His Cody walks over in his towel. “Yeah, it was drowsiness suddenly turns to terror. He tries to scream great. I was actually terrified that entire scene. The look but the taste of cotton prevents his emotion from pouring in Shiloh’s eyes was so convincing. Like he had tortured through. someone before. Have you murdered someone before, “What’s the matter friend? You got cotton Shi? Cody asks. mouth?” Brandon laughs. He starts to cut the man’s cloth“Yup.” Everyone laughs. ing. The man flails left and right, but the cuffs remain cold “The licking of his tears was a great touch,” says against his wrists and ankles. Tears begin to stream down the director. his face.

“Yeah, that was pretty gross,” Cody adds.

“Don’t worry friend. You look fine. The guy before “Thanks boss. Lots of practice.” Everyone you was a bit over-weight, but you, you were sculpted by laughs. the Greek gods. Brandon licks the tears from the strang“Oh, Shiloh, I need more of an annoyed attitude er’s cheeks. “And you taste good too!” with Gladys. You want to finish in time for the show, and Brandon walks over to his work bench and unthe blood staining the carpet is going to probably interfere packs his tools as a sous-chef would unpack his knives. with it, so more attitude. Okay, everyone, we’ll call it a The man sees the light glistening off the torturing tools night. We will run this scene first thing tomorrow.” Everyand begins to shake vione starts cleaning up olently. More tears flow and leaving the set.

“I was actually terrified that entire down his cheeks.

“Cool, if you scene. The look in Shiloh’s eyes was so don’t need “Don’t worry. anything I’m not going to use all convincing. Like he had tortured someone else from me I’m going of them. You’ll pass out to get going. I need to before. Have you murdered someone in about ten minutes. If get some things done I’m lucky, you’ll make it before it gets too late,” before, Shi? Cody asks.” to fifteen.” He starts to says Shiloh. hum while he feels around the man’s abdomen. He pokes “No. You are free to go. See ya, Shiloh. Great at a spot a couple of times. work today. Gladys, great work. I’ll see you tomorrow,” “Now, be a gem and don’t move too much. Blood says the director. stains are tough to get out. Also, if you get blood every“Bye Gladys. I’ll see you tomorrow,” says Shiloh. where, it will drag the process out, and I’m not about to Gladys flips off Shiloh and waves goodbye to the director. miss Wheel of Fortune because you couldn’t keep still.”

“Why doesn’t she like me, boss?”

He goes back to the spot and pushes the weight “I don’t know. She usually likes everyone. Don’t of the knife until a pool of crimson flows and engulfs the let that bother you. Bloody good work today! Oscar worknife. The man’s muffled screams get louder, and he thy! See you tomorrow.” writhes back and forth, trying to shake loose from his “Noted. Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow,” replies bondage.

Shiloh.

“You’re going to get bloo … Great, you got blood all over the carpet!” Brandon punches the man in the face The set goes completely black. Shiloh walks until he finally passes out. He runs upstairs to the kitchout to his car and heads off to his place. He stops by the en. He grabs the hydrogen peroxide from the medicine store down the street from his house. He grabs a few closet. bottles of hydrogen peroxide. He contemplates grabbing “Brandon, is that you? Wheel of Fortune is about a couple more, but convinces himself he has enough. He to be on.” heads home and throws the bottles on his kitchen count“I know, Grandma. I’ve got to clean up some stuff er. He fills a bowl up with hydrogen peroxide and another downstairs, but I’ll be right up.” with hot water. He looks at the huge blood stain on his “What happened to that nice boy you brought carpet. home from your ginger date?”

“I knew I should have gotten two more bottles!

“Grandma! It’s Tinder! Tinder! Tinder date! And I Oh well.” He bends down and starts to scrub away. don’t think there will be a second date. He was too good “Come come, come out tonight.” looking for me.”

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Asphalt Cowboy

notice the subtle changes in Tammy’s behavior.

As the emotional distance increased, so did their infrequency of intimacy when together. No fights, no arguEdward L. Kentner ments, just an indifference of whether he came home or stayed on the road.

As the dust kicked up, the prairie schooner

Chris continued to operate his truck as he earned rocked and creaked along. Jumping and bumping across a reputation as an outstanding businessman. Shippers the well-worn trail, it lurched forward behind the steady and receivers knew he was dependable and always plodding of the team of oxen. The windswept Nebraska available to service their needs. With Amanda in middle territory slowly inched by. Holding a firm hand on his school he felt he should build a college fund over the next reins, the driver worried the building clouds in the westsix years.

His trips home became less frequent and shortern skies would mean a wet, cold, uncomfortable night. er.

Stops to replenish supplies and to see the girls were Glancing over his shoulder into the darkened wagon, he limited to overnight.

During these short pauses, he would hoped for a glimpse of his full-term pregnant wife, who sleep in his truck, as slumber did not come easily in an was trying to lie as comfortably as was possible as the unfamiliar bed. schooner swayed forward.

Tammy felt more Unknown to him, she had “Absence will sometimes make the and more abandoned. just delivered their daughAs Chris focused on the heart grow fonder. But telephone ter amid the difficulties of business and Amanda this long journey. It was a conversations with limited personal on school activities, she trip they had begun as a couple and would finish as visits are poor substitutes for physical found herself lonely and depressed. She yearned a family. touch.” for purpose and identity. Out of boredom, she

A hundred and fifty years later, another concerned found herself on her computer reaching out for interhusband drove across the Nebraska landscape. Chris action and entertainment.

Soon an online affair grew steadied his hand upon the wheel as he headed east into an insatiable yearning for the excitement of a new toward Lincoln. His pregnant wife, Tammy, lay resting in life. the sleeper berth. An hour earlier she had complained

Jordann Davis -Chrisholm TrailDigital Photo

A hundred and fifty years ago, a cowhand slowly rode west toward his ranch in the shadows of the Colorado Rocky Mountains. Looking to earn wages, he had been gone months gathering the cattle of successful ranchers while herding them to Kansas with other cowpokes. He dreamed of the wife and daughter he’d left behind in search of work. Day after day he rode across the wind-swept plains. At long last he climbed the small rise leading to the cabin. The evening was turning to dusk and his horse’s trot turned into a canter as they crested the hill. Suddenly, the cowboy pulled his horse to a stop.

He stared in disbelief. Two earthen mounds rose in the distance, covered in rock. A single cross fashioned from flame-scorched wood stood silently at the head of the graves. Where their cabin had stood the charred remains of his life lay silently awaiting him.

Telolith

Telolith

of a stomach ache. She had taken an aspirin and told her husband she was going to lie down and rest. There was little for him to do but to continue to drive on. While listening to the radio, he thought he heard the cry of a baby. From behind the pulled curtain in their sleeper berth his wife gently notified him of the birth of their child. Near Milford, Nebraska, on Interstate 80 she had delivered their daughter, Amanda.

Chris and Tammy had driven a truck together for the past seven years. Driving had afforded them an opportunity to work together while investing in a farm in their native Colorado. With Amanda in tow, they continued to haul freight, pay toward their land mortgage, and prepare for the time their daughter would attend school. When school began, mother and daughter stayed at home as Chris continued to transport goods throughout the country.

Absence will sometimes make the heart grow fonder. But telephone conversations with limited personal visits are poor substitutes for physical touch. As Amanda grew, her mother felt less and less needed. Chris did not

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Posting For A Friend Settled.

Resigned.

Checked and double-checked.

Squeezed the trigger.

Didn’t flinch.

Click.

Just... click.

Anticlimactic.

No round in the chamber.

Slept, the .45, a disappointing lover, close by.

Finger on the trigger.

Comforted.

Undecided.

Words with Friends Blindsided Discarded Disappointing Rejected Replaceable Dissolution Divorce Loss breaks filters.

Sorrow births the need for words, words become elusive.

Not knowing what to say, words escape unrestrained by normality.

No shield against acquaintances freed to speak their mind, against words carelessly spoken by well-meaning friends, intent on helping: “Move on.”

“You’re better off.”

“I never really liked him anyway.”

“You’ll find someone else.”

“Something better awaits on the horizon.”

Sunrise.

Renewal.

Daylight conveys clarity.

But the click echoes, every day.

Words without substance, frosted with good intentions.

-Lois Magner

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-Lois Magner

.

i solation

Drifting through fog, a balloon carried away, tossed and torn on winter winds.

Tether line thinning, stretching, fraying.

Rising on cold currents while the Anchor dims with distance, fading.

Slowly deflating, breathless.

Loss of air precipitates descent, a spiraling return to the cold, hard ground.

Flattened, left forgotten in the dust.

-Lois Magner

Jesse Marcos -Well WornPencil drawing

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Telolith

Telolith

Dammit, I’m Mad… I was lost.

Completely adrift.

You weren’t in tune.

Emptiness overwhelming, darkness consuming our Sagas our consuming darkness.

Overwhelming emptiness.

Tune in!

Weren’t you adrift, completely lost?

Was I?

-Lois Magner

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Annie Wall -Cobblestone StreetPen and ink

Telolith

Telolith

Editor’s Note: This poem is a palindrome. It reads the same forwards and backwards. The title is its own palindrome.

Telolith

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Amy Friesen -Tea PartyDigital Illustration

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Luis Martinez -Spring JoyDigital Illustration

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Telolith

Telolith

Telolith

Christina Forks -UntitledDigital Photo

Chapter One from Easy Camouflage for Dummies, a novel in progress Daniel Rodriguez

Date: October 31, 21 days after Z-time

when we found him hanging. Seeing friends die—that hurt. Chad, Jason, Alexis, Joyce, and Amanda. I still cry when I think back to how they left us: Chad and Jason’s sacrifice to hold back the horde, Amanda giving us one last concert to get the hordes away from us, and especially Alexis and Joyce’s final bet at the hive. If they had just given me time...time was all we needed so others didn’t have to die. I wonder if they can see us now, trying to escape from this literal hell. If they are somehow watching us, I hope they stick with us to the end. I guess I understand why grievers like to pretend that the dead are still with us . . . in a spiritual sense. Is this what Alice meant when she said it gets easier?

Since this has been going on, I finally understand what was missing in my life—friends that would stick by me through thick and thin. I never realized how important trust is, and I would never have known how bad the situation was if I didn’t have something to lose.

Thinking back to how things were, well, I’d rather not. Just thinking about how cold and uncaring I was to others. How I would be willing to let them die without a second thought. Did that make me worse than the zoms?

That’s enough soul searching for now. I think I’ll call it a night.

The last hope for us to escape this school. Every time I look at that file, it makes more sense. The file said only the labs would auto lock, so obviously it had to be the principal that put the entire school in lockdown. To think we could have been out of here a long time ago if the dumbass had just left the gate open. Looking at the gate from the roof, it’s clear the infection wasn’t just in the school; the zoms on the other side of the gate prove that. It’s possible the infection has already taken over the country, possibly the world.

If that’s the case I don’t know what we will do.

But there must be other survivors out there, a group maybe? I’d wager that the government hasn’t completely collapsed yet. I’m sure if we make it out of this place we’ll still find a few cities that aren’t overrun by zoms. After all the government can’t be as incompetent as it is in movies -Romeo Vega . . . right? If we’re going to find that out, we must first get out of this hellhole by taking that passage in the princiAs the morning sun rose overhead, Romeo rose pal’s office. from his sleeping bag. Today was finally the day. For At least one thing of his will prove to be of use. once, he actually believed it when he told himself that To think the man would today they were going hide the only way of “After doing a few stretches to loosen to escape. After doing a escape in his office. Still few stretches to loosen the muscles in his back (after all, it’s at least a comfort the muscles in his back to know that we can all sleeping on a roof isn’t exactly ideal), (after all, sleeping on a leave the school soon. he pulled out his binoculars and took roof isn’t exactly ideal), Though I’m getting an he pulled out his binocufirst watch of the zombies for his odd feeling something lars and took first watch will go wrong. And we research.” of the zombies for his no longer have Chad research. and Jason to protect the group. Does it ever get easier, As he looked around the school grounds, he grieving? It feels like it’s supposed to get easier, but the noticed that very few hordes were actually around and pain in my heart grows more intense as time passes by. moving. The beginnings of a horde started gathering Alice said that it’d get easier, but I wonder. around the blood-splattered soccer field. They appeared Ever since this started, death has surrounded to be chasing a blood-stained soccer ball. As the strong us. Time and time again I have killed those that turned, breeze moved the ball, the zoms chased after it. When watched as their already dead bodies hit the floor. one of their feet hit the ball in another direction, they folWatched how easily ordinary school supplies can turn lowed right behind. deadly. Pencils through the eye, a backpack full of books Near their target building, the main dorm area, bashing skulls in. I still can’t believe Juan used a broken a massive and bloated zombie stood like the Statue of plastic ruler like a knife and cut the brainstem of Julian Liberty. Even when a breeze passed by, bringing with

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it a scrap of fabric that a small horde of three were chasing, it did not follow. Putting down his binoculars for a moment, Romeo opened up his journal to a section labeled “general knowledge” and quickly began jotting a few notes:

Keeping herself from puking or reacting, the theater teacher tried to pretend nothing had happened, but the bile began corroding her clothes. And that wasn’t the biggest issue. That bile was awfully pungent and had grabbed the attention of the horde surrounding her. A look of fear spread across her face as she clutched It seems our hypothesis of zoms varying in intel- the severed arm in her hand as if it could save her. ligence was correct. While it seems that hordes operate A moment later her screams echoed through the on their senses of sight and smell like all the other zoms school yard as the horde swarmed over her like bees to a do, they can’t distinguish one object from another. Maybe flower. As they went to work her screams died down until if they had some hint of a brain, they’d figure out what all that was left were the moans of the undead along with fabric and people look like. Though it’s for the best— after a faint new sound: Snap. Crack. The sounds continued all, hordes would then as the dead enjoyed “Right as she passed in front of it, attack any blood-soaked what the flower brought person...But why don’t the bloated undead let out a massive them. they attack themselves Romeo put roar that caught the attention of all the down his binoculars and when covered in blood?

Perhaps they don’t athordes around, quite possibly even a sat down by the roof tack each other because railing. He opened his few inside.” they give off a certain journal to the section he scent? had flipped to earlier and found the page titled “Poppers.”

Looking at the drawing on the page he grimaced. He Picking up his binoculars, he observed the masshook his head to clear his thoughts and looked at a secsive bloated zombie; just a small glance and it was easy tion for unique traits. Right under the bullet point noting to see it hadn’t moved so much as a centimeter from that poppers were double the size of hordes he began to where it was standing before. Finding this interesting, write: Romeo flipped to his section on the special infected. They didn’t often encounter this type of zom so any knowledge • Poppers seem to not only eject bile as a bywas good knowledge. Before he could begin writing, product of transforming but as a weapon something behind the bloated undead caught his atten• Steer clear of bile, not only does it melt tion. non-organic fiber, but it may attract hordes or help hordes A person began to walk calmly and slowly befind prey hind it, approaching the sliding doors. It was Ms. Aguilera, the theater teacher. She appeared to be trying to blend Others in the group began to wake up and come in with the horde leaving the dorm. Her torn blouse and out of their makeshift tents. Some looked worried, while long ragged skirt were soaked in blood and she carried a others seemed agitated at being woken up. Romeo stood severed arm with several bite marks on it. The only way and looked over at his friends. There were only five left, Romeo could tell she wasn’t infected was that her eyes but they had survived these weeks together so they must were still a bright green and there was not a bite mark on be doing something right. her pale porcelain skin.

Romeo offered his the binoculars to the group Her camouflage seemed to have worked for the and explained the sound that had woken them. most part. The only problem was when the horde began Juan seemed more pissed off then sad about passing by the oversized zom. Its dull dead eyes followed Ms. Aguilera. “Dammit! That bitch made us lose our Ms. Aguilera, the only time it had taken notice of anything. chance to escape; that horde won’t be clearing out for Right as she passed in front of it, the bloated undead days!” He punched his fist on the railing, causing an echo let out a massive roar that caught the attention of all the that momentarily caught the attention of the horde down hordes around, quite possibly even a few inside. In less below. than a second, the massive zom began puking up bile all Amy smacked Juan upside the head, as he over her. Not only was it disgusting to see, but Romeo rightfully deserved for almost causing the horde to notice remembered from the single time they had encountered it of them. “First off, respect the dead, jackass,” she said. before the smell was gut-wrenching.

“No one deserves what just happened. Second, I’m sure

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she didn’t know poppers could do that. We didn’t even “To test a hypothesis of mine,” Romeo said, as know till Romeo saw what happened.” Clearly still mad, he walked to the front door of the building. “Ms. Aguilera this time about the rough treatment, Juan was getting was holding the arm of one of them as she moved with ready to tell her off when Romeo stepped in. the horde. It didn’t fool the Popper, but it did work on the Clearing his throat, Romeo looked at his friends. horde. If this holds true, we can possibly search the sides He took a deep breath and said, “Look, this doesn’t of the building for another entrance.” It sounded ludicrous change what has to be done today. While it is tragic that saying it out loud, but it had to be true. Why else would another life was taken by this plague, there is nothing we the horde not notice her? can do about it. We must keep moving forward, and no Alice came up to Romeo, clearly concerned matter what we must do our best to survive.” Juan started about Romeo’s plan. “And if it doesn’t work you’ll be to calm down a bit as Romeo gave his speech, perhaps surrounded by those creatures within seconds,” she said. reflecting on his rash reaction.

“You don’t have to risk yourself like this. We can always “No matter what, we must continue with our plan hope that the horde will clear out by nightfall.” Clearly, to escape the school.” Romeo looked over the railing at she did not want him acting as a hero, and from the look the popper; the bloated undead was still just standing on the others’ faces they didn’t want that, either. However, there. It didn’t even want the scraps of teacher that were the determination in his eyes showed he didn’t care what left. “In fact this particular event has brought into dangers he faced. question what we need to do. So long as that bloated He took a deep breath before looking down at popper stands guard at that doorway, we’re not going to the arm in his hand. Even holding it down near his waist, be going through the front like we planned.” he could still smell the foul odor, as if death decided that He sighed as he tried to think of what to do. He a sewage plant was a great place to leave rotting bodies. then saw the severed arm the teacher had dropped and “The horde moves only when something has their attenhad a realization. “I may tion,” he said. “It could be have a way to search for “It began to drip blood like a leaky days or even weeks before another exit, but it may be they start moving again. If faucet from both ends.” slightly disturbing,” Romeo this works, it’s possible that I said. can lure them away from the dorm, make it easier for you guys to search.” He reached into his pocket and took out what little change he had.

Everyone was standing in front of a corpse. It It was only a few coins, but Romeo thought it should be was one of the horde that they had managed to lead enough to get the job done. astray from the group. Once they brought it into the He motioned for Alice to fall back. Hesitantly, he building, Gabe swiftly took out its legs with his baseball reached for the door handle. Once he saw that Alice was bat, immediately breaking its knees so that it couldn’t back with the group, he opened the door. A light wind walk or run. After making sure it was immobilized, Jessica started to pour into the building. Outside, the horde was took her blood-splattered fire axe and chopped its head still wandering around aimlessly, but they hadn’t comoff. This all took place so fast the creature couldn’t even pletely left the front area. With light and shaky footsteps, make a noise to warn the others of the prey in the buildRomeo crept toward the center of the horde. ing.

As he moved, he noticed that not a single one Taking the axe from Jessica, Romeo chopped had moved towards him with intentions to attack. A few off one of the horde’s arms. It began to drip blood like a got close enough to brush up against him, and a few leaky faucet from both ends. Jessica was dry-heaving a even stopped as if they were thinking about him, but in bit at the sight; this particular one seemed to have recent- the end they all moved away as if he was just another ly turned. At least from Romeo’s research that seemed horde. The one that never took its eyes off him was the true since it was still bleeding. “Why are you doing this Popper. It stared at him but did not make any move toagain?” Gabe asked, slightly confused about the need to ward him or screech a warning to the horde. All it did was dismember a zombie. stare, watching, waiting.

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with its long bony spikes. Not wanting to stick around to see what happened next, Romeo quickly opened up the door to his group’s building and squeezed inside.

As the door closed behind him, he heard crunching, the kind of crunch that sounded like a dog had finally gnawed through a bone it had been working on for a while. Once the door closed, Alice came up to him. Worry didn’t even begin to describe the emotion written on her face. “What happened out there?” Alice asked in a panicked tone.

A bit of blood from where creature had slashed him dripped onto the floor. Romeo looked up at Juan, who was holding his open notebook, most likely reading some of the research while Romeo was out. “Remember that ‘living skeleton’ you joked about in Gwen’s letter? I’m pretty sure I just found it.”

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Luis Martinez -Buy War Bonds!Digital Illustration

Telolith

Trembling, he looked back, and saw that the creature wasn’t behind him. Instead the creature had run right past him, and Romeo realized the slash had been caused simply by the creature having its claws at the ready. Looking around, he noticed that the creature was after a squirrel that had run by him. Within seconds, the clawed creature caught up with the squirrel and impaled it

Telolith

Feeling that he had collected enough data, Romeo made his way back to his group, a feeling of exhilaration washing over him. He couldn’t wait to tell his friends what this meant. However, as he made his way back to the building, he heard swift movement coming near the dorm. He didn’t stop, but as he looked to the side he saw it.

An ultra scrawny and incredibly fast type of undead was running towards him. His group had never encountered one of these, but from reading Gwen’s letter earlier, he knew this had to be the thing that had terrorized her group. This particular type of undead had no eyes. It was like the brain had swelled up and blocked its vision. Looking closely at its head, Romeo could see that it once had eyes, but the swelling was so bad it caused them to pop out, leaving only circle impressions where the eyes use to be. That was the only thing swollen on the creature. The rest of it looked malnourished to the point that the radius and ulna were visible on its arm, as well as the gap between the two bones.

He couldn’t tell why Gwen and her group had been so scared of this zombie, not until he looked down at the zombie’s hands. A better term might be claws.

Instead of fingers, the knuckles ended in long bone-like structures that while very thin, were also very sharp.

These claws were easily half a foot long, and they were already splattered with fresh dripping blood. It had its arms raised up like it was getting ready to attack. As the infected got closer, Romeo could see that under the swell of its head the zom had a nose. He continued walking, hoping that the arm trick would work on this zombie as well as it did on the horde.

Sixty feet. The creature was still on course. Unchanged, unwavering.

Thirty feet. Romeo was getting close to the door.

The zom was just as close to him.

Ten feet. He could almost grab the handle. Just a little more.

Two feet from the door and he felt it, a slash across his back.

January 25, Midan El Tahrir

Christina Forks -UntitledDigital Photo

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Telolith

Telolith

I live in a miserable town.

While you walk, you can hear the scream of the mum who lost her child.

But sadly, the sound of bombing will put everything else in silence.

You can only communicate if you make the loudest sound, and I have never been loud.

I was never groundbreaking; never did I ever wish to leave my ground.

Never did I say I want to leave this world; I want to fly around.

But if you are strong enough to survive, lucky you for still being alive.

It is a long story of bread crumbs and sad mums and hard times.

Even after everything ended, I can still see the tears and the blood mixed together on the ground, leaving me in fear and doubt.

I view the world from the eyes of a dying man, of a veteran, of a fish about to drown.

-Yusra Hegy

I am Waiting for You

I am waiting for you.

I am waiting for you to come and take me to our lovely home to our happiest memories.

Take me to a place where there’s only love and care, where there’s no cries, no lies.

Where I can hear the bird noises and the sea waves.

I hope this day will come.

I hope you can find me.

I hope you still love me.

I hope you know how much I love you and how much I care, but with my pain and hope I will be waiting for you.

-Yusra Hegy

Daniela Carmona -Love Along the YearsDigital Photo

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Telolith

Telolith

The Boy Who (Kind of) Helped Me Find Myself

existent. They were all his, and I was merely putting my voice to them. Time continued on, and I entered into a realm of Inexplicable shame. I had done nothing wrong, yet I felt guilty for everything. The man I gave everything Brittani Lauppe to drove me ten minutes into the country and parked in a cornfield, where his verbal abuse suddenly reached its My young life involved a lot of raising myself climax; it was more than cruel words and more than just and finding things to do to pass time so I wasn’t just an argument. I tried to flee from him, but in my attempt to sitting alone in my empty house while Mom was working run, I was picked up and thrown in the back of his truck. multiple jobs and dealing with her deteriorating health.

Then he drove me back to my grandma's but refused to This meant staying out all hours of the night hanging let me out of the vehicle until I “understood” that he “loved out with my friends. We would have a blast just walking me.” He was “sorry” but began pointing out all the things I around town and being careless children, and we were had done wrong. Lies on top of lies. children. I was just thirteen when the fun came to an end.

The only thing from that relationship that was I was a thirteen-year-old when I met him. true was that he was a full-grown man, a high school It was September 2014, and I was hanging graduate, who had lain with a seventh-grade child. He around town with my friends. It was Trinity’s birthday, took everything she had, and when she had nothing left and we were looking for something to do. Sitting at the to give, he stole her dignity, leaving a shell of the girl she elementary school playground swinging, the night came used to be. That girl, of course, was me. I was a stupid, and the cold settled in. Watching the moths circle the naive, thirteen-year-old girl. He was an experienced streetlight got old very quickly. We decided to walk to a eighteen-year-old man. I put everything I had in his nearby convenience store for hot cocoa and a snack. We hands: my happiness, my self-worth, even my purpose. never made it.

The high he gave me was like flying, but when the Teresa was the oldest of the three of us; her relationship ended, much had been taken away from me. cousin spotted her on the side of the road and stopped You might be wondering where my mother was to say hi. He offered us a ride, and she gladly answered, while I was involved in this relationship. During this same “Yes!” for us. Teresa time, my mother needed and Trinity climbed into an operation that almost “I was thirteen and ‘in love,’ and the back seat of that took her from this earth, innocence-killing machine. before I knew it, I had thrown leaving my seventeenI sat in front. Its loud roar myself into a blender disguised as year-old stoner sister to and burning-red color care for me. My dad was a relationship that eventually took long gone. My mother disguised the terror lying inside. everything from me .” was dying, and I was That night changed worried about a boy who my life. His cologne was like anesthesia, making my body didn't care. My mother couldn’t be there, and he kept me unable to move; his smile was crippling to my young distracted with nice clothes, cute shoes, fancy trips, and heart; and his voice sent chills down my spine. I was a car to take us wherever we wanted as quickly as we thirteen and “in love,” and before I knew it, I had thrown wanted. myself into a blender disguised as a relationship that Five years later, the feeling of shame and disgust eventually took everything from me. The little twist in the is still here; not the shame and disgust he made me so way he said, “I love you,” curdled my blood. I thought the accustomed to, but the feelings that came when I was goose bumps on my legs and the blood rushing through finally able to reflect on what I had just done to my life my veins meant love. I later realized these signs were and all the time I had wasted on him. I let a man who my body telling me to run. He played me like a puppet. didn't love me dictate who I was going to be, and when Every movement was arranged by him, and every choice I thought it was over, I was once again proven wrong, was colored by his influence. By October 4, 2014, my because even after he was no longer a part of my life, fourteenth birthday, he had finally taken what I would he lingered. In the halls at school, his smell would find never get back: my identity. its way to me through the silence of the crowds. In my As months went on, I slowly disappeared. My sleep, his voice would haunt my happiest dreams. There independent thoughts, actions, and feelings were nonwas no escape from him. Even as I washed my hair in the

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shower, the feeling of his hands, so cold compared to the steaming water, appeared. No amount of soap or scrubbing could wash away the shame.

The places where bruises used to be are still hard to show others, but in the end, I managed to pull myself from the wreckage of what at the time was my desolate future. So now, instead of tripping and stumbling

over this “man,” I have morphed his memory into a gold-plated stairway. I will probably always wear long sleeves because of the helpless little girl he brought to the surface, but that's hidden away by harder armor now.

Water can’t wash away the pain and shame, but time will fade the scars because that little girl is now a warrior ready for battle whenever I need her.

ELOLITH

Student Art And Literature Logo for Telolith by Amy Friesen

Self-Destruction It's not a detonating bomb but rather a dark hole.

Pills relieve the pain.

Alcohol to forget is a must.

Cigarette smoke clouds my judgment.

Before long I'm losing myself.

The hole gets deeper and the light begins to fade.

Tomorrow comes and the pattern repeats.

I fall in on myself.

Daniela Carmona -Blurred EmotionsDigital Photo

Telolith

Telolith

After a while, I can no longer see the difference between day and night.

The numbness takes over, disaster in plain sight.

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-Michelle Mattich

Rose I am a rose Delicate yet fearless Passionate in color Red as fire Blossoming among the weeds My thorns make me strong Yet untouchable by sight The weeds around me Make me wither Drain my passion For I am just a rose Covered in thorns Not protected by my environment I am no longer a rose Simply What could have been -Michelle Mattich

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Diana Nieto -RoseDigital Photo

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Telolith

Purgatory The cold concrete rough against my skin sends chills sliding through my spine.

It feels like an eternity waiting.

The other side of the world is cut off, I am alone.

I wonder, growing tired.

I lie on the textured sleet.

Slumber hits me I‘m frozen Eternity is here again.

The grass never fades The seasons stay the same.

I am here waiting for the end That never comes.

-Michelle Mattich

Lois Magner -UntitledDigital Photo

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Telolith

Telolith

Life from Ashes

anymore. Jaylin forced himself to look away and almost screamed. There was a little girl standing a few Mackenzie Farmer feet away. She was only about four years old. He couldn’t tell where she’d come from. She was carrying a blanket, but it was obvious she hadn’t come from one of the Panicked screams from the girl next door woke Jaylin up in the middle of the night. He jumped out of bed houses. Her face was covered in black smudges, and her dark hair was dusted with ash. and ran to the window. The house next door was already “Hello.” The girl stared at him. “What are you engulfed in flames. He flung open his bedroom door, and his eyes widened in surprise. It looked like the neighbors’ doing out here? Where are your parents?”

“I can’t find them. Can you help me find my house wasn’t the only one burning. His eyes stung, and mommy and daddy?” all he could hear was the roaring of the flames.

“Where is your home?”

The smarter plan was definitely going through The little girl pointed at one of the badly burned the window and not running down the burning hallway. houses. “The fire destroyed it.”

It would have been the only good option, but for some “Oh, I can try to find your parents.” He didn’t reason that window didn’t open. It had been that way want to admit to the little girl her parents might not have since his family had moved in, but despite his father’s made it out. Surely they would have found their daughter promises, it never got fixed. Jaylin would have had to the first chance they got. The best he could do was take break the window, and there was a good chance the her somewhere she would be taken care of. There was glass would cut him. Instead, he ran down the hallway, a chance she’d hurt herself if she was allowed to run covering his face with his shirt. He ran through the front around by herself. Maybe someone could find her family. door into the street. The fresh air was welcome, but he Then he’d have to find somewhere he’d be safe. He was started shivering the moment the cool night air touched not going to be put in a foster home, and after all the his skin. fighting among his family, Jaylin didn’t want to be taken in People were running around yelling for family by a family member. “What’s your name, Girly?” members. Jaylin could hear sirens a couple blocks away.

“Rosaline Lewis, but He glanced from person to my mommy calls me Rosie.” person hoping to see his “Screaming, he pulled his arm from Her seriousness parents. They were nowhere the person’s grip and ran away from made Jaylin laugh. “Well, my to be seen. He took off name is Jay. Let’s go see if towards the house, but the burning house.” we can find your parents.” someone, maybe one of the They didn’t make it far neighbors, grabbed him by before Rosie started to cry. “Hey, what’s wrong?” the arm. Screaming he pulled his arm from the person’s “I don’t want to walk any more. My feet hurt.” grip and ran away from the burning house. When he Jaylin looked down and realized she was couldn’t see the fire, he collapsed onto the ground, buried barefoot, like him. “Okay, so let’s take a little break. He his head in his arms, and cried. His parents were gone, sat down on the ground, and Rosie sat down next to him. and he had nowhere to go.

She yawned. “Did you not get much sleep last night?”

Jaylin must have fallen asleep because when Rosie shook her head. “Neither did I. How about we take he opened his eyes, it was early morning. He sat up a little nap. Then we’ll get up and find your parents.” and looked around. There was an old rusty swing set Rosie nodded. Jaylin expected her to curl up and nearby, and he was sitting underneath a large oak tree. take a nap, but she offered him some of her blanket. He With a relieved sigh, he realized he was only a couple politely declined. She was shivering worse than he was. blocks away from home. He’d passed this little park “Do you want me to help you stay warm?” She nodded walking home from school with his mom because it was again. Gently he pulled her close to him and waited the fastest way home. Tears flooded his eyes again. He for her to stop shivering. “Is that better?” There was no wiped them away angrily and stood. Grieving could wait. answer. She was already asleep. When she stirred, he The walk seemed longer than usual this time, but before would sing a song his mom sang to him when he woke up long he stood in his old neighborhood. with a nightmare. Finally he managed to drift off himself.

Almost everybody had cleared out. It was still early, and most likely everybody had been up late. Jaylin *** walked past the houses untouched by the fire, hiding when somebody was nearby. The closer he got the “Jaylin, I need you to wake up.” Jaylin groaned faster his heart beat. He stood in front of his own house. and turned over. “Jay, please wake up.”

Nothing had survived. It didn’t even look like a house

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The voice sounded so familiar, but this had “Would you like me to read you a story?” to be a dream. He was never going to hear that voice “Yes please. The nurse was reading to me, but again. He felt someone shake his shoulder, and his eyes she left.” flew open. His vision was blurry, but he could tell he was Jaylin picked up the book and opened to the indoors now. After blinking a few more times he could see place marked with a slip of paper. He began reading the room he was in. Three people were standing around to her. She laughed at his ridiculous sound effects and him. One was most likely a nurse. There was also a man seemed to forget all about everything she’d been through, and woman looking worried. if only for that short time. When the nurse came back in The woman had long midnight black hair and to check on Rosie, she was surprised to find her sleeping brilliant blue eyes. Tears trickled down her face. The man again. next to her had messy blonde hair and the same hazel “You know,” she said to Jaylin after he gave a eyes that Jay saw every morning in the mirror. It couldn’t short explanation of the day before, “that little girl started possibly be . . . but there they were standing beside him. freaking out when she couldn’t find you, and I don’t “Mom? Dad?” think I have ever met a ten-year-old so willing to care for His mother wrapped him in a tight hug. “Jaylin, someone they don’t even know. You’re really helping her.” you scared us so much.

“I thought I was Where did you go?” never going to see my “The voice sounded so familiar, but parents again. I need to “I ran away because this had to be a dream. He was never make sure she doesn’t have I got scared. Where were you and Dad?” deal with this alone. Are going to hear that voice again.” to “The firefighters got her parents really gone?” us out of the house. You That’s the thing. shouldn’t have run. Dad and I have been looking all over We can’t find them anywhere. Our staff are searching for for you.” them, and we called her great aunt just in case.”

Jaylin looked around the room again. “Where is “This Belle lady is going to take care of her right?”

Rosie?”

“Yeah, Rosaline will be in good hands. Plus with “Who?” any luck her parents were just taken to another hospital “I found a little girl. Where is she?” nearby. We can only do so much here.”

“Little dark haired girl? About four years old?” The The promise reassured Jaylin a bit. What he’d nurse asked. Jaylin nodded. “She’s down the hall.” seen from his short time with Rosie was that she was “I want to check on her.” strong. With help she’d recover just fine. “I’ll come visit “I need you to stay still for a little while longer,” the her again before I leave.” nurse told him as he tried to stand.

“I’m sure she’ll love that.”

“She’s probably scared.” Jaylin insisted.

The nurse sighed in frustration. She seemed to realize that Jaylin wasn’t going to cooperate until he saw her. “I’ll be right back then.” She returned a few minutes later. “You can come see her. Just take it easy.”

Rosie was sitting up in the hospital bed. She brightened up instantly when he entered the room. “Hello, Jay.” Jaylin sat down in a chair next to the bed. “How are you feeling?”

“I just miss my parents.”

“Are they not here?”

“The nurse says they haven’t come by. They can’t find them anywhere.”

Jaylin sighed. “I’m sorry, Rosie.”

“Gramma Belle is s’posed to be here soon.”

He fought back tears. That’s not what she needed right now. “I’m sure she’ll take good care of you just like your parents. Just promise me you’ll be brave. Okay?”

Logo for Telolith by Annie Wall “I promise.”

There was a kids’ book on the desk nearby.

n e i z t a g

nd wr ta

h t i l ar o l e

g ma itin

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Brightest my mind is cloaked in seemingly endless darkness but sometimes light emerges from the blackness and on days like those i am the brightest of black and white -Jordann Davis

Rise anxiety is an anchor that holds me down it drowns me in negativity but I can hold my breath forever and finally i rise from the depths resurfacing to the peace of mind that I had before -Jordann Davis

Annie Wall -Hillside TownWatercolor & Ink

Telolith

Telolith

Logo for Telolith by Annie Wall

Logo for Telolith by Luis Martinez

50

Crashing With Cancer

to other patients, as he was one of the rare patients who had done it all in one day.

Nancy Kletecka His successful transplant collection on that Monday was soon followed by disappointment. We hoped I can’t say exactly what did it. Maybe it was to hear his transplant would be scheduled that same seeing my husband, Mike, waste away to resemble week but were told it would not be until the next week. one of those starving people featured on so many We were disappointed. We were tired. We wondered commercials on television. Or maybe it was the day I was how in the world we would get through sitting around helping him take a shower and a huge clump of his hair in a motel room for a week with nothing but the walls to fell off in my hand. It could have been the day he suffered keep us company. We hugged each other and cried. Our humiliation when he didn’t quite make it to the bathroom disappointment was lifted the next day when one of his because his call light wasn’t answered soon enough. transplant nurses asked how we were doing. We told her He looked at me and said, “They didn’t come, and you our disappointment in waiting. She said she felt the same weren’t here.” Guilt poured over me. Tears began to fall. way when she looked at his medical chart. After reading I felt horrible about taking those few precious hours to go the planned schedule, she took it upon herself to tell the back to our hotel room and rest. team there was no need for us, who were so far away A nurse came in and I confess—I wasn’t very nice from home, to sit and wait that long. It was scheduled. It to her. The guilt I felt for being absent and the anger at was done. them for not answering his When we first “We wondered how in the world we arrived in Minnesota, the call festered to the top and I exploded. Her response put would get through sitting around medical team had put a me to shame—she put her port in Mike’s chest. It in a motel room for a week with arms around my shoulders was surgically implanted nothing but the walls to keep us and said, “it’ll be okay. just under his skin and Patients like your husband company.” was to be used to draw have accidents. It comes blood for his labs and with this process he is going through. We can’t always provide him with his chemotherapy treatments. Even get there right away because we have other patients. with the port protruding from his upper chest, put in to And you – you need to get some rest, because when he help make it easier on him, it was obvious more and gets released he needs you to be strong.” She told me more each day he was growing tired of being poked and all the things I should have known, but the emotions of prodded like an animal in some testing lab. He spent the moment got in the way of realization. The nurse was a lot of time looking in the mirror—looking at his now right, Mike would have other accidents, but we dealt with bald head, his face now void of facial hair, looking at them together. And, it was okay. the port—not recognizing the face which stared back Mike and I have spent days thousands of miles at him. He had never said much throughout the whole away from home. Days that were filled with highs and cancer journey up to that point, in spite of what he was lows — a roller coaster ride no one would ever want to going through. A cancer patient, I believe, has a right to be on. One particularly good day was when we had gone complain. A cancer patient has the right to be angry. He to Mayo Clinic in Minnesota. He was to have a stem cell spoke little. He spent many hours staring in that mirror. transplant, and they were going to harvest his own stem I was the main one who talked to his doctors (and cells for the procedure. We were told they wanted to there were a lot of them), his nurses, and to people we collect six million stem cells, which would be enough for came in contact with. He never said much. I asked one two transplants. The medical staff said to prepare to be day if he needed or wanted to talk about what he was there for a week or maybe longer. Mike, who by this time going through, and he said, “There isn’t anything to talk was tired of being poked and prodded, looked at one of about. I have cancer.” He spoke few words, just shed his nurses, and like a ball player who calls where his shot an occasional tear that was quickly wiped away. Then will go, told them, “I want to do this in one day, and I want one day, it happened, this strong, quiet man’s shoulders it to be done.” And it was done. The staff there told us not began to shake. He began to sob uncontrollably and he to talk about his successful one-day stem cell collection fell in to my arms.

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Everything he had been going through, everything were there for the same thing—multiple myeloma. he was facing had finally hit home. He crashed.

They all seemed to be doing great, were done with their I sat in the hospital one day just looking around, transplants and were there for follow-up appointments. people watching. There were a few smiles here and there An elderly lady came up and whispered to me, “Now you (I am thankful for the doorman who let me pick on him know you will have to help him go to the bathroom and to some each day), but for the most part there were serious shower.” I glanced at my husband and he said, “I don’t looks, sad looks, a lot of think that will happen.” Of tears. The sheer number of course, it did happen.

“We watched as within a span of people was overwhelming.

It amazed me the thirty minutes three children came in The kids were the hardest number of elderly couples to see. One little boy, two to the waiting room where we were. there with no younger years old at the most, was relative accompanying All three tightly clutched stuffed sitting in a little red wagon them. Some of the couples animals and blankets.” his mother said hospital were much more senior staff had loaned to her to than Mike or I, and it was pull him around in. He had no hair and had tubes running painful to watch as one struggled to navigate the vast from his little head to his nose. He was trying so hard to hospital pushing their loved one in a wheelchair before get away from his momma—obviously wanting to play, them. It reminded me of the strength I have always seen explore and run. My heart broke for him and for her. She in that generation. A generation which did not sit by said his prognosis wasn’t good but he was doing really waiting for someone else to take care of them—they did well. You could tell she was strong. She was dealing with what had to be done. There were a few of the hundreds it. I felt even worse wondering how a young mother could of patients at Mayo there on their own, but most all had seemingly be doing so much better with a cancer journey someone with them. than I was.

The number of patients was overwhelming, and Another day we watched as within a span of thirty I found myself screaming inwardly “Why can’t they find a minutes three children came in to the waiting room where cure?” After all, the earliest known case of cancer dates we were. All three tightly clutched stuffed animals and back to around 1600 BC. It’s been long enough. A cure blankets. One little boy, who looked about eight years should have been found by now. Our personal journey old, clung to his blanket and toy while also keeping a tight began officially in February of 2018, but the real start is hold around his father’s neck. I will never forget the look anyone’s guess. We first noticed he was losing weight on his little face—it was one of sheer terror. Tears were several months prior to his diagnosis. It would be a loss streaming down his face, and it was apparent he knew of sixty pounds and kidney failure before we learned what this latest appointment was not going to be a pleasant was behind his failing health. one. Tears began rolling down my face as inwardly I We have spent many sleepless nights worrying found myself shouting, “No, no—please don’t put him about the future and not knowing how long that future will through any more.” Realistically I knew he was in the best be. We experience pain, both physical and emotional. place he could be to try to make him better, but I couldn’t Thousands of tears shed. How much can one person bear seeing such a small child in so much pain. bear? One day in June I reached my limit. The nurses One day we were waiting in the lab for Mike’s had insisted I return to the motel room to try to get some turn to have blood drawn. rest. I went in to our room, The waiting room for the lab gathered my multitude of “I always thought I had an was huge. Never, it seemed, paperwork and began to understanding of what a cancer formulate a new plan of was it empty. Names were called and patients were patient and caregiver go through, action. Suddenly, the room told which door to go to. seemed to go dark. The but I did not. Not until now.”

It was a revolving door of show on the television pain and hopeful healing. became nothing as I no One day I started visiting with some of those around us longer was aware of any noise but the sounds in my and soon learned all three of the couples we were near head. I began to cry, softly at first. Soon my crying turned

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Rosa Strydom -ShenronCeramic

I always thought I had an understanding of what a cancer patient and caregiver go through, but I did not.

Not until now. Not until it hit home as hard as it possibly could have. And through our cancer journey I learned something—I don’t ever want to be too busy to make a difference to someone. It doesn’t have to be huge. I just have to show up. I also know now that no matter how strong you are, no matter how strong you try to be, as a patient or as a caregiver, you will crash with cancer, but it will be okay. Sometimes you have to crash to mend.

Telolith

Telolith

to sobbing. I could not catch my breath. My head felt as though it would explode. All of the events from the last several months played through my mind more terrifying than any horror flick ever could. Watching the pain my husband was going through, suddenly relying on solely my income, juggling the dispensing of his many medications, the two of us being so far away from home and family, the growing stack of bills and paperwork—all of it covered me. It consumed me. I collapsed on the bed, and there I stayed for the rest of the night and into the next morning. I had finally crashed under the weight of being “the one”. The one tasked with taking care of all that needed addressed. I wanted to escape. I wanted to run away. At some point, at last, I fell asleep.

I slept late in to the next day and awoke with a start. Quickly I dressed and headed across the street to my husband’s room. Overcome with guilt, I worried something had happened and I hadn’t been there to take care of it. When I started to enter Mike’s room, a nurse took me aside and said, “I’m glad to see you took some time. It is important that you do. Caregiver distress is real. If you don’t take time once in a while, you won’t be able to be here for him.” I was expecting to be chastised for not being here and instead, I was basically told, “it’s about time you did.” I had crashed. I was better now and I was ready to handle things once again.” I expected Mike would let me know how upset he was at my absence.

It did not happen. He was sound asleep. The pain medication they had given him had caused him to not even notice I hadn’t been there.

It’s amazing how much a simple act can mean to someone who is suffering. The day we left Mayo, there was a little coffee shop downstairs in our hotel. I got a coffee there daily (many times it was all the sustenance I had for the day). The employees got to know my name.

As we were loading up in the shuttle to leave, one of the girls from the shop came running out and gave me a hug.

She said, “You weren’t leaving without telling us goodbye were you?” She asked when we would be back, and I responded, “We will see you in September.” I may never see her again, but a simple hug gave me a sense of hope. A sense we were not alone in this journey.

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Logo for Telolith by Luis Martinez

Awaken my Senses, Cafeé

It runs through my veins I jump and live for another while My brain pulsates electric currents It feels like I am going airborne

Take it how you want it, I like mine jet black

Take it how you like it, I love mine with a snack

Oh yeah, I inhale deeply as the aroma of the rich black gold awakens the sense of my nose, fills my lungs with relief My glands, they are wooing!

First cup is daring, second one is naughty, and after the third you are in heaven Nothing can stop you, you have been selected by the highest gods to experience this Cloud Nine effect You have risen and you are infinite!

Go on be free the coffee is what will let you see That the world you tackle Is nothing more than a lovely screen It is a film and it will take you somewhere you love Take the coffee however you please, it will enlighten you, it will set you free

Telolith

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Christina Forks -UntitledDigital Photo

Telolith

-Marissa Morales

Exquisite Corpse Today was rotten. Nothing went my way.

A tiny monster broke a small window, a teeny tiny baby coffin broke.

I need to take the dog outside to walk now.

Beside the moon, the stars danced with the night.

The sunrise goes from east to west every day.

Our nights were soft, our days were always fair.

My love grows stronger with each passing day.

I need to take my dog outside to play.

They say we shine our brightest in the dark.

Editor’s Note: This is a group poem by students in Sharon Brockmann’s Introduction to Literature class: Elizabeth Perry, Ana Herrera, Kaitlyn Kirk, Keelin Lahita, Cheyenne Miller, Kacie Moree, Jaci Oakley, Corrina Porras, Citlali Rocha­Ruiz and Daniel Rodriguez.

Jordann Davis -SunsetDigital Photo

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Blurred Lines Lois Magner

tear her eyes away from it. “But thanks for the refill.”

“No problem,” she replied, still fixated on the ball. It was making her dizzy. He stopped spinning and started rubbing the ball with the side of his thumb.

“Okay then, I’ll check back in a bit,” and she turned to take the pot back to the warmer. Her painted smile didn’t falter.

About thirty minutes and 1 0,000 rotations of that stupid ball later, Sarah was done with her side work and ready to leave. She’d already given Leather Jacket his bill, but he hadn’t made a move to pay. She walked over with the coffee pot, smile tacked back on.

“Would you like a warm-up?” She asked the ball because she couldn’t take her eyes off it long enough to look at his face.

“No, thanks, I’m good for now.” The man answered, not the ball. Sarah tore her eyes away from the ball, which he’d thankfully stopped spinning and was just squeezing and releasing, like a stress ball. It’s a stress ball alright, she thought, it’s giving me plenty of

“Hey, Sarah . . . Leather Jacket in B2 needs more coffee,” Jacque laughed as Sarah rolled her eyes and grabbed the pot. Sarah was eight hours in on a sixhour shift and beyond ready to go home. The guy had been sitting at her table most of the evening drinking black coffee and picking at the edges of a piece of yesterday’s cherry pie. Plain cold pie, no ice cream, no whipped cream, just plain—plain like his coffee, like his face, everything about him plain and ordinary. Even his leather jacket was nondescript. Black and boring. He would have been completely unremarkable if it hadn’t been for the constant spinning and twisting of a stupid toy basketball. It hadn’t left his hand all night, other than when he was spinning it on the table. When he wasn’t spinning it, he would roll it through his fingers like a magician before he makes the quarter disappear. Only that miniature basketball never disappeared, and it was stress. grating on Sarah’s “Okay, well, I’m nerves.

“He would have been completely done for the day so It hadn’t been a Jacque over there will unremarkable if it hadn’t been for take big deal at first. She you for the the constant spinning and twisting rest ofcaretheofevening.” hadn’t noticed much or of a stupid toy basketball.” even cared. Nor had she She waved the coffee really cared that he was pot in Jacque’s general taking up a corner booth through the whole dinner rush direction. “You have a great night, okay? Thanks for for a lousy cup of coffee and a piece of pie he was only coming in and we hope to see you again.” But next time pretending to eat. She didn’t even care that she come alone, she thought, leave your little round friend probably wouldn’t get a tip. None of that bothered her. at home. She smiled at the thought of drawing a smiley But at some point, the constant motion of that little ball face on the basketball with a Sharpie. Well, maybe she started driving her nuts. Once it had started being an smiled more at the thought of smacking little Sharpie irritant, it was all she could see, the spinning, the Face than anything else. blurred black lines on that stupid little ball. It spun and “Thanks, uh, Sarah, right?” he was leaning over twisted when she filled his coffee, when she walked by to read her nametag. on the way to another table. Even when she had her “Yeah, Sarah.” Sheesh, not Mr. Observant are back to him, intentionally trying to avoid looking his we? He’d been there for hours and still had to read the direction, she saw him reflected in the pie case mirror name tag. Invisibility donned with the waitress uniform. rolling that dumb ball across his fingers with his thumb.

“I’m Greg.” He stuck out his hand. Not the She wanted to smack it out of his hand. basketball hand, the coffee hand. Sarah wiped her hand “Okay,” she mumbled, “just breathe.” She took a on her apron and shook his hand. deep breath and plastered a smile across her lips, as “Nice to meet you Greg. You have a good night.” bright as her 24-hour Red Velvet lip stain and just as She turned to leave and he watched her go. The fake. “Here you go, sir.” She filled his cup and motioned basketball still for the first time all evening. toward the picked apart cherry pie. “Would you like me *********** to take that out of your way?”

Sarah took a final look in the mirror to make “Uh, no, that’s okay. I’m not quite done.” He sure her makeup was still intact after her shift and that started spinning the ball on the table. Sarah couldn’t

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“Well, that’s the thing. I was supposed to everything was in place after changing out of her get in Sunday night. My plans changed so I got here uniform. She needed a night out and had decided to treat herself to one. She decided it was all good enough early and thought I’d surprise him. He said he works the same shift all week so I figured, what the heck?” I guess and, grabbing her purse and her keys, headed out the it was pretty dumb. I should have just called him.” Sarah door. looked at Greg, trying to decide whether or not she She backed her Explorer out of the driveway wanted to offer him a ride. Ben’s place wasn’t really that and headed toward the highway. She swiped through her playlist until “Blurred Lines” was pouring through the far out of her way. Greg shifted his stance and leaned car’s speakers. Laughing, she turned up the volume. in, crossing his arms on the door frame. Then she saw “I guess that’s appropriate. Hey, hey, hey, hey,” it, that dumb, ridiculous ball. She popped the lock open. she sang along.

“Hop in. I’ll give you a ride.” He grinned.

“I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this. Let Not far up the road she noticed a car pulled me just grab my stuff.” He returned from the rental with over with its flashers blinking. This road wasn’t welltraveled at night, and cell service was spotty at best, so a small black duffle and slid into the Explorer’s passenger seat. she decided to stop and see if there was anything she “Really, Sarah, this is great of you. Thank you. I could do. Even though it was a pretty safe area, she was starting to think I was in for a little hike tonight.” The didn’t want to leave someone stranded. She pulled up next to the car, a white sedan of some sort, rolled down basketball was traveling up and down his fingertips. the passenger window and honked her horn. A man Sarah nodded. stepped out of the car and Sarah groaned. It was “Not a problem,” she mumbled. That ball’s the Leather Jacket. problem. She stepped on the gas. They rode in silence, “Oh, hi, Gabe?” the three of them – Sarah, Leather Jacket, Greg leaned over and “She’d already given Leather Face. looked in the window.

Jacket his bill, but he hadn’t made a and Sharpie “We’re almost He chuckled. move to pay.” there,” Sarah said a few “Greg.” minutes later. “The road “Oh yeah, Greg, to his place isn’t far.” sorry.” Sorry, not sorry, she wanted to say. He “Great! Let me give you something for your shrugged.

“No worries. Sarah, right?” She nodded. “Funny trouble.” Greg picked his bag off the floor and unzipped the flap. to see you way out here.”

“No, really, it’s fine,” Sarah replied. “I was going "I live nearby,” she flicked her wrist in an this way anyway.” ambiguous wave. “You having car problems? Where “No, Sarah. I insist.” Greg’s tone, deep and you heading?” “I’m heading to my buddy’s house. I’m visiting for a few days and had to wait for him to get off insistent, caused Sarah to look his way. She found work. The car started shimmying and whining so I herself looking down the barrel a .9mm. Before she pulled off to check it out. Now I can’t get it to start could react, Greg grabbed her arm and shoved the gun against her temple. “Watch the road, and no tricks. Try again. Stupid rental.” anything, I pull the trigger.” Eyes fixed on the road, “Who’s your buddy? Maybe I know him.” Well, Sarah thought about slamming on the brakes or running she thought, at least that explains why he hung out at into a tree. She didn’t feel the odds of success were in the diner so long. her favor. “Take that next left,” he ordered. Sarah “Ben Mathews. He just lives about ten miles down the road I think. I tried to call him but I couldn’t get cleared her throat.

“That’s not the way to Ben’s,” she stated. Greg service.”

“Yeah, cell service is crap out here most of the laughed. time. And I do know Ben. Is he waiting for you? Won’t “You’re not as smart as I gave you credit for. I he come looking for you when you don’t show up?” don’t even know Ben, I just did my research. You’re a Greg rubbed his eyebrow. Sarah was glad to see that pretty easy target, you know. I heard you talking to your he wasn’t holding the basketball. He cleared his throat. friend about your plans. A pretty girl like you, alone way out here, should be more careful you know.” Sarah’s

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grip tightened on the steering wheel. She knew exactly made her smile. She pushed the knife in further, where that left would take them, the middle of nowhere. reversing the twist. The gun fell from his hand, and he lost his grip on her hair. His knees began to give way.

The road would narrow after she’d made the turn, and the trees and brush would thicken. The road would Sarah gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and pushed narrow, and they’d have to leave the car. You could him backward, keeping a firm grip on the handle of her walk for miles out there. A person could get lost for knife. Before he hit the ground, she was on top of him. good out there. She felt Greg’s grip tighten as the His breathing was ragged, shallow. “I guess you didn’t muscles in her arm tensed. do quite enough research.” She winked at him and “Don’t even think about it. Just relax and take plunged the blade into his heart with both hands. the turn. Let’s make this as easy as possible.” Sarah She pulled the knife out and wiped it off on Greg’s shirt before returning it to the sheath strapped to nodded but didn’t relax. Feeling the gun barrel against her thigh. She went through his pockets and found her her temple, she made the left.

“Pull off up here, on the right. You see that little car keys and the keys to his rental. She’d have to deal turn off?” She saw it. Partially covered by overhanging with that first. It took her a minute longer to find what branches, it would have been easy to miss. She pulled she was really looking for. She pulled the basketball out in and stopped the car, fingers still clutching the of his pocket and smiled. steering wheel. “Okay, now put it in park and turn it off, “I think I really will draw a smiley face on you. then put your hands back on the steering wheel.” She And I don’t think you need to go into the lockbox. I think took a deep breath and you can sit right out on did as she was told. A the nightstand.” She put “Well, that’s the thing.

I was pair of handcuffs keys and the supposed to get in Sunday night. the appeared in his other basketball in her My plans changed so I got here Explorer and went back hand and for once Sarah wished it was still holding early and thought I’d surprise him.” to Greg. His eyes were vacant now, but that ball. somehow he still looked surprised. She grabbed his feet Greg cuffed her to the steering wheel and pocketed the keys. He grabbed his duffel and walked and drug him back to the ravine behind the trees. around the Explorer. He didn’t appear to be in a hurry.

“You’re heavier than you look.” She pushed him down Sarah could only imagine what else that bag might be the hill. “You’ll have to hang out here for a while, Greg. holding. He opened her door and shoved the gun back You caught me off guard, and this wasn’t the spot I had in her face. ready for tonight. But I’ll take care of you later. You’ll be “I’m going to take those cuffs off and you’re just fine for now.” She picked up his duffle on the way to going to get out nice and slow, you understand?” She her car. As she opened the door, the interior light spilled nodded silently. He unlocked the first cuff and handed out over her shoes, and she looked down.

“Damn it, Greg! You got blood on my Jimmy her the key. “Now you get the other one then hand them over.” Shaking fingers made it difficult to fit the key into Choos. I love these shoes! I bet I love them more than the lock. The cuff finally clicked open and slid off her the girl I took them from. Shit.” She set his duffle on her wrist onto the floorboard. Greg grabbed a handful of seat and opened it up and stuffed her Choos inside, Sarah’s hair and drug her out of the car. She landed on she’d go through it later, but for now she didn’t want the her knees at his feet. His fingers were tangled in her shoes getting his blood in her car. Tossing the duffle on hair, the gun at his side. “We can make this nice and the floor, she grabbed the blanket out of the back and easy or we can do it the hard way. But trust me, I’ll covered the driver’s seat. She got in and started the car, enjoy the hard way more than you will.” Sarah’s couldn’t scrolled through to find “Blurred Lines,” and turned up the volume. As she got back on the main road, she see his face, but she could hear the sneer in his voice. glanced at the little basketball and imagined the face He pulled her up by her hair.

He laughed as he drew her closer. Wiping her she was going to draw on it later. Maybe she’d give it hand up the side of her skirt, Sarah looked into his wide eyes and a round mouth in honor of Leather eyes. She straightened up and leaned closer to him.

Jacket. She laughed out loud.

“I don’t do things easy.” The shock on his face “What are the odds, Sharpie Face? What are as she plunged the knife between his ribs and twisted the odds?”

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The Fix Exasperated, I continue to look for just the right tool — the one item that will fix everything that has gone so wrong.

Amid the chaos, confusion, clutter and cluster of manmade junk the answer is there – I just have to ask, but I don’t.

I carry on frantically looking for that which will fix the broken, my ears and heart not open to the answer.

What’s happened to this world? What’s happened to me?

Electronic gadgetry and more has replaced faith, family, and friends.

Fast cars, lavish homes, name brand clothing…. Is this truly the key?

The answer is there – I just have to ask, but I don’t.

Surely a little tape here, some glue there, perhaps even a nail or two will do.

School shootings, sickness, divorce, bullying … the list which breaks us grows long.

Time is running out. I have to find just the right tool, but no answer comes to mind.

He waits patiently, never rushing, arms outstretched, Sacred Heart aglow among the disorder and pandemonium of this world, steadfast and true.

The answer is there – I just have to ask.

Finally, my heart is open, I listen, and to my knees I go.

The answer was there – I asked, He listened.

Faith, not a fix, was all it took for me to mend.

- Nancy Kletecka

Michelle Mattich -Faith and HardworkDigital Photo

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the people were very friendly. Black bears roamed their woods while unfortunate ones littered the roadside like Edward L. Kentner dead deer and rabbits might in other states. Founded in 1 791 , Philipsburg is rumored to be the birthplace of the Stephen Vincent Benet wrote a poem Philips Head screw. During my stay, I ventured a short entitled “I Love American Names,” a tribute to drive away to Pennsylvania State University, home of interesting names we have given our communities the Nittany Lions. I have always been intrigued with throughout the United States. As I travel, I try to learn as much as possible about the community I am visiting. team names and mascots.

Mount Nittany overlooks the campus. The origin Together, my wife and I travel our nation investigating of the name, Mount Nittany, is not known. It has long this great land of ours. been attributed to the local Native Americans who As newlyweds, my wife and I were traveling inhabited the area. Embarrassed football players did not through southeastern Montana, entering a small have a mascot during a football game against the community by the name of Wibaux. Immediately, we tried to guess how to pronounce the name of the town. I Princeton University Tigers in 1 904. A quick-thinking student created the mascot on the spot. His logic was a chose Y-box and she guessed Y-baa. To settle the lion would dominate a tiger in the chain of animal dispute and to satisfy our thirst, we pulled into a fastsuperiority. It is interesting to note, no lions have been food drive-through and ordered drinks. seen on the hallowed mount since the mid-1 800s.

As our young, pimply faced server handed us our drinks I asked her, “How do you pronounce the The town in which I live also has an interesting name of this place?” name. An outsider may She looked at us conclude our population “Immediately, we tried to guess strangely, then very how to pronounce the name of the is made up of political slowly she said, “Macleft-wingers. town. I chose Y-box and she Don-alds.” guessed Y-baa.”

Southwestern Kansas The town is had a rancher in the pronounced Wee-Bow. Although it appears to be a early days of statehood who allowed folks traveling west Native American name, it is actually named for a to stop and water their animals. Many folks were prominent French cattle baron, Pierre Wibaux. Our moving as our nation expanded, but there is very little soon-to-be United States President, Theodore water in this area. Many early settlers decided to Roosevelt, spent time here selling cattle from his North capitalize on the shortage of water. They charged those Dakota ranch. Town legend has Teddy single-handedly who were passing through for watering their animals disarming a drunken sheep herder who was shooting and filling their containers for the remaining trip. Since up the town. the local rancher didn’t charge, his homestead became As my wife began teaching, I was fortunate to find employment that allows me to travel. I once had the quite popular. Traveling parties knew he was very liberal with his water. privilege to visit the great state of Pennsylvania. The As a tribute to the good neighbor who was sign at the state border read, “Pennsylvania Welcomes “liberal” when sharing his water, the name was used You.” I suspected it might be a long trip during the first when a post office was established in 1 885. In 1 888, the ten miles of state highway. In smaller letters under its welcome sign, an additional sign should have read, “All town site was officially named Liberal. Recently, a new school has been built and named in honor of this highways under major construction.” founding father, S. S. “Seymour” Rogers. Thus, the I had business to attend to in Philipsburg, Pa. The Allegheny mountain scenery was breathtaking, and name of our southwestern Kansas town.

One Town at a Time

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Into the Inferno Fire-crafted jinn draped in jewels, concealed in mysterious vessels, I search for you in ruins and cemeteries, hunting for wishes like Van Helsing for fangs.

Fire-crafted jinn roaming among Man, it’s a clever camouflage you wear.

Iridescent rice paper wings grace your shimmering diamond thorax.

Fire-crafted jinn of intuition and instinct, sense the fluttering in my chest and note the trembling in my hands!

Shatter this fear hand-crafted by humanity’s cruelty and cold-hearted hate.

Fire-crafted jinn in front of me, I’ll take your glass hand and eagerly drown in those burning hell-fire eyes.

Drop me in the darkest pitch.

- Noemi Rodriguez

Lois Magner -UntitledDigital Photo

Diana Nieto -Virgen De GuadalupeDigital Photo

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Jordann Davis -I'm a HermitDigital Photo

Annie Wall -CottagePen & Ink

Annie Wall -The RabbitPen & Ink

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Electric Storm Hurling words like stones, the air becomes electric, hollow silence gathering like static cling.

Carefully crafted solid ground crumbles beneath them.

The imploding fleeting romance creates a black hole.

Two stubborn, two prideful shadows ebb towards a dark space.

The paralyzing emptiness invades, sucking energy out of air like a hungry gasping ghos t.

- Noemi Rodriguez

Amanda Delk -STRIKEDigital Photo

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Rebellion She wilts in the summer heat, pouting straight into the air.

Her feet trample emerald grass.

No destination ahead.

Nothing to halt for until a peep of yellow captures her gaze.

A single dandelion stares back.

That golden invader.

That smiling dandy.

With style, it stands in a brash and rakish rebellion of overgrowth.

She hovers, relishing its golden bloom.

- Noemi Rodriguez

Jordann Davis -BiblesDigital Photo

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Laundry Day

"I'm only telling you because he always talks about his sister and her kids so I figured you were Jose Rodriguez close," Julian said. Karla looked ahead and fingered the change in her pocket, enough for two more loads of Karla loaded up the dryer and inserted the laundry. "Sorry if I caught you off guard!" Julian said. correct amount of coins. She had been in the United Karla had a creeping feeling that this person States for one year, and she was starting to get the wasn't playing a joke. "No, you didn't." Karla said. "I hang of doing laundry. It was a lot easier to do laundry already knew he was seeing someone. I just didn't in the machines than by hand like she used to in know who."

Mexico.

"Okay! I was worried," Julian said to her. "Oye Karla watched through the big windows as the aqui entre nos te tengo una pregunta. Is he cheating on kids played with friends they had made at the me with someone else?" The first dryer of the two she laundromat. Every had going stopped in Saturday morning was “Every Saturday morning was wash that moment, and Karla wash day, unless that day, unless that good-for-nothing stood up, hoping he good-for-nothing husband of hers spent all their wouldn't follow her. husband of hers spent all "Cheating? money at the bar. “ their money at the bar.

What do you mean?"

"Excuse me," a Karla asked. stranger approached her. "You're Juan's sister, right?"

"Well I saw him at the baile last weekend with a Sister? She froze. She was taken aback. beautiful woman," Julian said to her. "And I'm just trying Sister? Is that what Juan told people? She knew he to find out who this beautiful woman is." liked to lie to people, but really? His sister? Karla Karla started thinking about last weekend. Juan decided to follow the lie and see where it led her. had worked overtime the week before, and they had "Yes," said Karla. "I am Juan's sister." extra money. He had told her to go out and buy a dress The stranger was a young man in his early to and get her hair done — they were going to the baile. mid-20s. He had a nice build, deep brown eyes, and Juan usually made her stay home with the kids. beautiful brown skin.

"Uhh, what was she wearing?" Karla asked "Okay! Good to finally meet you!" the man said Juan. to her. "I am Juan's boyfriend. My name is Julian."

"It was a halter dress, silky, grey and silver, Boyfriend? A really pretty, looked million thoughts raced expensive," Juan kept "I mean, he wouldn't hide a wife through Karla's head, going. "She had an from me, right?" and she stared until she updo, and she was tall." broke the silence.

Karla put the dry clothes in a laundry cart and "How long have you been dating?" Karla asked. wheeled it over to a table to start folding the clothes before they wrinkled. "Maybe it was me you saw with "Almost a year now," Julian said to her. "He told him?" Karla said. me he was taking in his sister and her kids, that he sent "No I don't think so. She was really beautiful," for you to come to el otro lado."

Julian said. "Not that you aren't!" Julian laughed, and "Yes, that's what he did," Karla said. She was Karla feigned a chuckle. "The way they were dancing, it trying not to let disgust or anger show on her face. didn't seem to me like they were brother and sister," Maybe it was one of Juan's friends playing a trick on Julian said. her.

Karla sorted the clothes on the table. Juan’s "Don't worry, I'm sure he hasn't said anything blue work shirts in one stack and the kids’ clothes in about me," Julian said. "I know how these machistas another. are." Karla stared at him as he giggled.

"I mean, he wouldn't hide a wife from me, right?"

"Yeah, we know how machistas are!," Karla Juan asked. "He said he took in his sister and her kids, faked a smile.

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so there wouldn't be enough room in his house."

"No, I don't have any more, go play."

"You've been to his house?" Karla asked.

"But Mooooom, pretty please!" Adrian said.

Julian started shaking out an industrial laundry "I said no! Go play." Karla said as she raised her bag. "A few times, but we mostly meet at my place," voice, drawing the attention of the rest of the patrons.

Julian said. Karla kept Karla stared at “Did Juan make her move here so the clothes she still had folding, and Julian walked over to a dryer. "I he could live his double life? Is this to fold, and one tear fell why he wanted his dress shirt extra down her cheek. She would fold the clothes clean tonight?” wanted to walk out. She but I have to get going," wanted to take a bus Julian said as he threw back to Mexico and return to her family. But she knew his clothes in his bag. "I have a hot date with your deep down she couldn't do that and she never would. brother tonight," Juan winked at her. He waved at her So she folded. She folded the blue work shirts as tears and walked out of the laundromat. dotted the fabric.

Karla didn't know what to do or think. Did Juan make her move here so he could live his double life? Is this why he wanted his dress shirt extra clean tonight?

El otro lado – “the other side, United States” "Mom, can I have some quarters to buy a Oye aqui – “Hey, just between us” sticker?" Her son Adrian was tugging at her shirt.

Baile – “Dance”

Jordann Davis -Pizza on BroadwayDigital Photo

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The Cereal Killer Noemi Rodriguez

Anything could be a weapon, she thought, as she lay in wait. Even the spoon held tightly in her grip could be dangerous. She had read about a man who died by dessert spoon, which is apparently smaller than a regular one. The man had been hit in the back of the head in just the right spot.

She thought of the possibility of using the same method.

She doubted the possibility of getting lucky enough to hit someone directly on the same spot that killed the dessert spoon man. Perhaps if she repeatedly hit someone in that general area, the spoon might eventually land where it ought to. The hard part would be keeping up the strength throughout the beating.

That played a large factor that unfortunate man’s death by spoon.

Another man, this one in prison, had apparently sharpened a spoon and created a shank. He killed a guard with it. She had no clue how to go about sharpening a spoon, though. She probably needed some tools she didn’t have or at least some strength. It was not as if the paper informed readers how the prisoners managed to sharpen the spoon, after all, and either way, it seemed like an awful lot of work.

Her mind raced as ideas grew. Yes, a spoon could be very deadly if placed in the proper hands.

Jamming it in the nose or ears would do it. Or the most obvious one seemed to be the gouging of the eyes.

However, if she wanted to be creative, she could spoon-feed a poison or chemical to the victim, but she would have to capture them first. Restraining them properly would be necessary as well, or else it just couldn’t happen.

The death spree by spoon would be amusing to read about, she thought. The ridiculousness of her weapon of choice made the concept that much more amusing.

Alas, her spoon was just plastic and not made of metal. She really wasn’t sure that it would hold up, so she wouldn’t dare try getting away with murder now.

Instead, she simply dipped her spoon in the cereal again and looked around at the boring beige walls of her workplace lounge. For now, she would just stick to being a cereal killer.

Kaitlyn Van Vleet -ProduceDigital Photo

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Easy as Riding a Bike, My Ass

kids in our neighborhood with all sorts of toys and bikes.

All we had was a worn-out basketball. When we asked our parents if we could have toys, they would say, “We don’t have the money.” I never bothered them after that.

Andy Dinh We then asked Grandma, thinking we would win her over because grandparents always want to spoil their I can remember the dreaded day like it was grandkids. Boy, were we wrong. yesterday. I was a third grader, anxious but excited for The one time I asked for a toy she replied, an event that would change my life completely. News “What do you need toys for? You have four brothers and about the event had been advertised periodically, but every student in the school knew it happened sometime a sister. You can play with them.” I never asked her again for anything. So, I’d never learned how to ride a during their third-grade year, and the day was drawing bike, but how hard could it be to learn on the spot? near.

I slept well that night. The day of reckoning Growing up, I was a likeable kid (at least, in my eyes). One who excelled in school, one who feared his arrived, but there was a sense of ease in the air. I guess we all knew the day would revolve around the bike test, teacher more than his parent, and one who knew the so inevitably it was going to be an easy day. Everyone right combination of being feral and innocent – I was oozed with confidence. I couldn’t let my peers seem the poster child for Sour Patch Kids. When I was more confident than me, so I, too, exuded confidence, around my peers, I was boisterous, cocky, and bossy.

I’m surprised I even had friends, but I did. Yet being the and I even began to brag about how well I could ride a bike. My bragging continued until the hour for the event. popular kid in school didn’t prepare me for this day.

Suddenly, I was a wreck. On the inside I was nervous We were warned and hating myself for the week prior, but being “But they loaded me up with putting myself in a the cocky kid I was, I confidence, as they all came to the compromised situation, didn’t lose any sleep same conclusion: ‘It looks easy. but on the outside I was over it. Then the eve of How hard can it be if everyone is so confident around my the event approached, doing it?’” friends they probably and I started to get thought I was riding in nervous. I asked my the Tour de France the next week. The announcement friends if they were ready for the event, and every last was made for all of the third graders to go outside for person expressed they were more than ready. The the bike test. school day went by in a flash. I had almost forgotten “Those of you taking the test need to line up about the event, but as I was packing up, Ms. Gannon here. Those of you who are not comfortable, not made the chilling announcement: “Remember, planning on riding a bike to school ever, or don’t know students, tomorrow is Bike Test Day. If you pass, you will be allowed to ride your bike to and from school. You how to ride a bike, you need to line up over there against the wall.” are dismissed. Have a good day and see you all My insides sprinted faster than Usain Bolt, but tomorrow.” Fear pumped through my veins. The rest of my feet marched confidently towards the front of the my day was a blur. Next thing I knew, I was in bed talking to all of my brothers and my sister about the bike test line. I thought to myself, I could watch my two peers test. None of us had ever ridden a bike, so they had no in front of me and master the skill when it was my turn.

Plus, I had to be close to the front after all the bragging I advice to give me. But they loaded me up with confidence, as they all came to the same conclusion: “It had done. The two in front of me were finished before I could make any real mental notes. I grabbed one of the looks easy. How hard can it be if everyone is doing it?” extra bikes and walked confidently to the start of the Overconfidence was our Achilles’ heel. course.

There was reason I didn’t know how to ride a The course was easy. Participants had to ride bike. We didn’t have much money growing up. We saw

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their bikes through some parallel lines for about fifteen feet, stop and use hand signals, and finish with a controlled ride within a circle. The whole test should only take two minutes max for the experienced rider.

After the participant was finished, he or she was awarded with cheers and their name was put on THE List that allowed students to ride their bikes to school. I was given a bike by one of the paras. Ms. Gannon could sense I was in trouble and asked if I was okay.

Truth be told, that day was the first time I had touched a bike, so I looked green. I confidently replied that I had things under control. She encouraged me to move a bit closer to the starting line. “Andy, move up a bit more please.”

“Yes, ma’am.” I continued to struggle.

“Are you sure you know how to ride a bike?”

Her last ditch effort to help me save face.

“Of course! I’m practically a professional.” The Titanic was sinking, but wasn’t about to jump ship now.

I jumped on and pedaled. The bike glided forward. I was in total fear, but it was a good fear. I thought, this is as easy as it looks. My body was sure, and my line was straight. The wind blew through my hair, and I knew I had it. That moment felt like it was trapped in time, and I didn’t want to leave.

Then Reality came crashing in. The moment of ecstasy was a literal second. I almost fell over the side of the bike. I couldn’t find the sweet spot. I tried again, and I almost fell off the other side. I tried one last time and dropped the bike completely. I had ridden a total of one foot.

“Andy, that will do. Go over to the wall with the other kids.” The walk of shame lasted an eternity. I could feel eyes piercing my lying soul. I wanted to save face by offering an excuse, but even I knew the hole was already deep enough. I would forever be known as the kid who failed the bike test.

I watched as peer after peer passed the bike test with flying colors. Students cheered other students

on, and teachers gave out high-fives for a job well done.

I was secretly hoping someone would fail just like me, but I was the only one. I tried hiding, but the sun spotlighted me like an escaped convict. Thank the Big Man upstairs that the event took place close to the end of the school day because I was in no mood to try to explain myself to the other students. However, each student was so ecstatic about their own result that they didn’t ask me about my results.

I told my family I failed the bike test, and over the next couple of weeks my dad bought me a bike and taught me how to ride it. I made sure all of my other siblings learned so they didn’t go through the same humiliation. I have been through some embarrassing situations, like forgetting my lines in my Acting final, being the first person to drop a cup in the middle of the cafeteria on my first day of college, and wearing a Speedo in public, yet those moments are pale in comparison to embarrassment I felt the day when I was the only kid to fail the bike test. Whoever coined the phrase “As easy as riding a bike,” never had to learn on the fly the day of the bike test. I have a bone to pick with said person.

Rosa Strydom -Water LadyWatercolor

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Autographs

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