February 2009 SQUEEZE

the

SQUEEZE Entertainment supplement to the Crusader Vol. 4 Issue 3 February 2009

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Opening Words

February 2009

Unbreak My Heart “It sucks I hate Valentine’s Day. I never have a boyfriend.”-Haley Crosier

Student’s thoughts on Valentine’s Day and humorous relationship stories.

“When my boyfriend first started liking me, he came over to my house all the time for A&P notes, and I thought he was really annoying. But now I love him to death.” Taryn Westerman

“I like Valentine’s Day because my girl gets me presents.” -Mateus Cabizuca

“I kissed a girl, and I liked it. I hoped my boyfriend wouldn’t mind it...but he did and broke up with me.” -Cassy Tuls

“The only holiday more pointless than Valentine’s Day is Arbor day.

Actually, no, they’re equally useless.” -Adam Resh

quotes gathered by Tyler Savely, staff member and bachelor.

The science of love...

2

Article Critique by Morgan Allaman “Why We Love,” written by Jeffrey Kluger, is an article featured in the Jan. 28, 2008, issue of Time magazine. Kluger uses theories tested by scientists around the world to better explain why exactly we fall in love. . . or lust.

Kluger does not focus on the materialistic values in love, but rather the science of love. Three reasons the author believes we fall in love are: major histocompatibility complex, better known as MHC, detection in sight, smell and taste, production of neurochemicals in the brain regions including the ventral tegmental, the nucleus accumbens and caudate nuclei, and the production of adrenaline.

MHC influences tissue rejection. If a man and a woman with similar MHC try to mate “the risk increases that the womb will expel the fetus,” so if each have a “sufficiently different MHC” the couple will have increased chances of a normal childbirth.

The author and many university professors believe people use sight, smell and taste to learn to reject partners with a similar MHC. Most women are drawn to men with broad shoulders, muscular arms, deep voices and beards.

Most men are drawn to woman with bigger breasts and a low waist-to-hip ratio. People are drawn to these

The staff of the Crusader picked up many tricks and learned many new things at the Fall Convention in Kansas City. One of the new things we will be incorporating is sound slides.

A sound slide is a picture slide show with narrative of pictures.

The sound slides will become more frequent

characteristics because they symbolize fertility.

Smell plays a role in MHC detection. Pheromones are “scent-signaling chemicals.” One type of pheromone called the driver pheromone affects the endocrine system. The endocrine system “plays a critical role in the timing of menstruation,” and a driver female’s pheromones will trigger the onset of menstruation in other women. In the same way that the driver female’s pheromones trigger a different woman to start her period, female pheromones trigger instincts in men to be more caring, affectionate or protective of their female during ovulation.

People are also drawn to the smell of a partner just because of the difference in their MHC. MHC can also be detected through the taste testing of saliva, also known as kissing.

The production of neurochemicals, detected by a functional magnetic resonance imager, give off the rewards and hurt of love. The ventral tegmental near the base of the brain is the body’s central refinery for dopamine. The article gives an example of how

as the year progresses and will be found on crusadernews.com.

Look out for a soundslide of the fall play “Fools” done by staff and cast member Logan Michael Green with commentary featuring Anton Arnhold.

dopamine works as “when you win a hand of poker, it’s the dopamine jolt that’s responsible for the thrill that follows.”

The same “jolt” is detected in newly married couples or one who is deeply in love. The nucleus accumbens found slightly higher and further forward than the ventral tegmental gives off the feeling of obsession or binding. It helps process dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin.

New mothers are filled with oxytocin during labor and nursing to stimulate their binding to their newborn baby.

This same neurochemical causes lovers to feel bound to or obsessed with their partner. The caudate nuclei, the pair of small structures on either side of the head, is often associated with addiction. It houses “mundane habits and patterns,” which are hard to lose. It makes sure we don’t forget how to love.

The production of adrenaline also influences how we fall in love. “Any overwhelming emotional experience that ratchets up your sensory system can distort your perceptions, persuading you to take a chance on someone you should avoid.” The influence of adrenaline can fool one right into thinking they’ve found the one. Their body might completely ignore the MHC warnings, and thus create bad love.

The authors conclusion is that love may be a mundane task of the body, a way to keep the existence of the human race going, but people don’t want to hear that and neither does he.

Contributors Jose Rodriguez/ Entertainment editor Bruce Case Morgan Allaman James McElvania Logan Green Tyler Savely Chelsi Valdez Rustin Watt Jessica Lulf

8

Information

Things to do if you’re

Single

On Valentine’s Day

an

nA llam

by M org a sto ry

February 2009

1.)

If you’re like me and a million other people, you probably believe Valentine’s Day is just a plot created by card companies to boost up their post-Christmas sales… yadda, yadda, yadda. You get it. I’m not a fan of the big V-day.

So here are a few tips to keep your mind off the fact that you’re not going to get squat. If you are, it’s cool if you just skip this part of the squeeze, you love-lover.

If you haven’t already noticed, V-day is on Saturday this year, which I find fantastic. This gives us an excuse to stay indoors where there will be no parades of couples, tiny girls lugging huge teddy bears or the overwhelming presence of flowers in mid-winter. So, the first thing you can do to avoid the pompousness of Valentine’s Day is stay indoors.

2.)

Pamper yourself. Go ahead, splurge. Spend that money you would be spending on a significant other on yourself. Buy something that makes you feel good about yourself like a new shirt…or a crate of ice cream.

3 . ) Invite a friend equally as miserable as you over,

talk about how blown out of proportion Valentine’s Day is and then laugh about how, if you had gone out tonight, you’d probably still be in the waiting room of Applebees waiting to be seated.

4.)

Watch a movie. Now, when I say watch a movie, I do not mean “The Notebook” or “A Walk to Remember.” Rent a horror film. That’ll keep your mind off romance. People in horror flicks only stay bummed out for about 45 seconds after their lovers gets eaten by werewolves, which doesn’t bum us out either, on Valentine’s Day anyway.

5 .)

This one isn’t great, but it’s logical and it will distract you. Make Valentine’s Day your catch-up day.

Write that essay for physiology you’ve been putting off for a month and it’s due in a week. Clean out your car, catch up on all the episodes of “House” you’ve had on your DVR for a month, respond to all those emails Mom, Dad, Grandpa and Grandma have been sending you. You get the drift.

6.)

In the less-likely case that you’d want to make the most out of this Valentine’s Day, I’ve also added a few things you could do.

7 .)

Find a date! Trust me. You’re not the only single male or female on campus. Anyway, if that doesn’t work out you could always play Cupid and set your friends up on a date. Hey, What comes around, goes around. Eh?

8.)

Make Valentine’s Day cards and/or cookies for all your friends or potential future Valentine’s Day dates.

Regardless if you choose to spend your day indoors or out on the town, don’t let anyone ruin your day because one day Valentine’s Day won’t suck.

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4 The Squeeze

Fashion

February 2009

Women’s Women’sFashions

Outfit A

Black Dress from Maurices - $49 Earrings from Maurices - $12

Headband from Claire’s -- $5.50 Clutch from Claire’s - $16

Outfit B

Brown and Pink Dress from Maurices - $54 Necklace from Maurices - $14

Shoes from Maurices - $26

Total estimated cost: $120

Total estimated cost: $70

February 2009

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Fashion

Simple is best when dressing for holiday date Chelsi Valdez Editor

When dressing for Valentine’s Day this year it’s important to remember that less is more. Simple accessories are optimum to accent a great outfit.

For women, the black bandage style Herve Leger dress, outfit A, is best paired with simple black heels and a stylish black clutch. For jewelry an uncomplicated silver necklace and diamond earrings look best.

When choosing a hairstyle, an effortless headband looks great and the flower and feathers give the little black dress a voguish touch.

An eye-catching dress such as the pink and brown one, outfit B, also requires simple accessories. A pink and silver dangling necklace accents the open shoulder/neck area. Plain brown or pink heels would look best. Be sure that you match the brown on the dress with the right

shade of brown shoes. If they are too light it will look less fashionable and more tacky.

For men, T-shirts with graphics under button down collared shirts are currently all the rage. The shirts look best when paired with dark jeans or slacks to give it a polished look. The button down shirt can also be worn alone and buttoned for a more formal look.

As for men’s shoes dress shoes are always best for a date. Black or brown shoes, that match the top, are exceptional. Men’s shoes now come in a wide variety of styles and designs which should make selecting a pair of shoes easier.

When choosing what to wear for Valentine’s Day, or any date, it’s best to remember that a simple look is best.

There is no need to look gaudy for a special occasion.

Simple outfits paired with simple accessories make the wearer look polished and precise.

Men’s Styles

Men’s Ensemble

7 Diamonds Shirt from the Buckle - $99 T-Shirt from the Buckle - $56.50 Jeans from the Buckle - $130 Shoes from the Buckle - $119

Total estimated cost: $410

MOVIE

Whether you are single or taken, there is something for everyone in Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist.

The orginal idea for this movie comes from the book by the same name written by Rachel Cohn and David Levithan.

Even though the movie is about love, the movie is not mushy. Plus the sarcasm is an element that people can appreciate.

The themes in this movie are good for all types of people whether you are into Valentine’s Day or not.

Nick is played by Michael Cera who is well known from his role in Juno. His counterpart, Norah, is played by Kat Dennings who’s

MUSIC

Since the topic of our reviews are based upon heartbreak, I could think of no one better to write about than Conor Oberst and his incredibly moving song “It’s cool we can still be friends.”

Oberst created the song while he was in his solo project band “Bright Eyes” which is the band most people, including myself, recognize him from.

With his unique voice and folkstyle play he immediately draws

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Reviews

February 2009

‘Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist’ Review by Jessica Lulf breakout role was in the 40-YearOld Virgin.

The movie follows these two misfits through their journey to locate the venue of their favorite band. While searching for clues and dealing with their friends the the two find that they are attracted to each other.

Issues caused by Norah’s drunk friend, Caroline, played by Ari Graynor, set up one side adventure for the twosome.

Nick’s friends, and band mates, Dev and Tal add an interesting element to the movie. These two just want Nick to realize that his exgirlfriend, Tris, was bad for him.

The pair approves of Norah and hope that Nick will see what a great girl she is and get over Tris.

Overall, the film is not like your average high-end movie. The transitions and filming have a touch of a homemade feel to them.

The key element to this movie is the music, which make sense given the title of the movie. Music lovers will appreciate that the songs that Nick and Norah love are not mainstream. However after this movie these songs may become mainstream.

The best comparison for this movie is Juno. If you did not like it, then I would not recommend this movie for you.

‘It’s Cool, We Can Still Be Friends’ Review by Bruce Case you in and through his lyrics keeps you there in deep thought about your own encounters with heartbreak. If you have ever walked the fine line between love and insanity then this song is for you.

The song not only tells of heartbreak but also touches base on the aftermath of it reminding you that when two people try to be friends after a break up their intentions almost always differ and someone usually ends up feeling more hurt

then they did before.

Not only would I recommend listening to this song but I would highly recommend listening to all of Oberst’s work, especially “Bright Eyes”. He is a lyrical genius and an extremely talented musician.

Not only can you enjoy listening to Oberst but you can genuinely learn from him.

illustration by Rustin Watt

comic by James McElvania

COMICS

February 2009

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Games

Does she love me?

Down: 1. A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

4. A love affair.

5. A precious yellow metallic element.

6. Celebrated on Feb. 14.

(Two words) 7. A winged, naked, infant boy with a bow and arrows.

8. ________ of Love; a reality TV dating show starring Bret Michaels.

9. ________ of Love; a reality TV show starring Flavor Flav on Vh1.

12. A girl's best friend.

15. Squeeze someone tightly in one's arms.

17. A hollow, pumplike organ of blood circulation, composed mainly of rhythmically contractile smooth muscle, located in the chest between the lungs.

Across:

1.A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

4.A love affair.

5.A precious yellow metallic element.

6.Celebrated on Feb. 14.

(Two words) 7.A winged, naked, infant boy with a bow and arrows.

8.________ of Love; a reality TV dating show starring Bret Michaels.

9.________ of Love; a reality TV show starring Flavor Flav on Vh1.

12. A girl's best friend.

15.Squeeze someone tightly in one's arms.

17. A hollow, pumplike organ of blood circulation, composed mainly of rhythmically contractile smooth muscle, located in the chest between the lungs.

Puzzle by Jose Rodriguez

Top

5

The Top 5

Celebrity Break-ups

4.

young man who attended high school with both of her kids right after the papers were filed. This couple was more entertaing divorced than married. Too bad their daughter can't do anything to fix her barely there career.

Barbie and Ken

Barbie and Ken were the perfect couple. They had a dream house and multiple careers.

Sadly that was not enough to keep them together and their split was announced in February 2004 to the shock of

1.

Hulk and Linda Hogan

2.

They were a match made in faux tan, peroxide heaven until Linda filed for divorce in November of 2007 because of Hulk's infedility with one of his daughters much younger friends. To make matters worse Linda started going out with a

Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston

millions of Americans.

Although there was no official report it was speculated that they split because Ken did not want to get married. In 2006 the couple got back together after Ken was revamped.

They used to be America's sweethearts until Brad got cast in a movie called "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" with the very sexy Angelina Jolie.

Reports that Pitt and Jolie were having a sordid affair but they denied everything until that fateful December day when they announced the split. America was shocked. If the Pitt/Aniton's couldn't make it who would? Fast forward a few years later and the Jolie/Pitts are Hollywood's golden

3.Madonna

couple. They have started a family, star in Academy Award winning movies and have given a lot of their time to charities. Meanwhile Aniston has been in an on again off again relationship with John Mayer, called Angelina's actions "uncool" in Vogue magazine, and has starred in ironically named movies like "The Break Up," "Rumor Has It," and most recently "He's Just Not That Into You." Oh how the tables have turned.

and Guy Ritchie Madonna has been in the entertainment business longer than many of us have been alive but has been married to Guy Ritchie since 2001. It seemed like the couple was in it for the long run since Madonna moved in with Ritche to England and adopted an accent that complimented her move.

He directed her in a movie and she wrote a song for him but it wasn't

5.

enough to stop them from splitting up last fall. He said living with her was hard and she called him an insensitive loser. He said sleeping with her was like cuddling a piece of gristle, she said a few not so nice things about him in concert. When the air cleared Guy came out of the divorce millions of dollars richer and Madonna is free to continue in her artistic pursuits.

Britney Spears and K-Fed

He was the man who completed Britney.

Britney met her future ex-husband Kevin Federline in 2004. He was a back up dancer and she loved to dance.

They were we in a quiet ceremony September 18, 2004 and all the chaos began. We got to know the Britney who liked to kick back with a bag of Cheetos and drink lots of Starbucks.

All the time trying to make her America's sweetheart was wasted and made even worse by the reality television show "Britney & Kevin: Chaotic." Sadly, all good things must come to an end and Britney filed for divorce in 2007. She went a little crazy but is back on top thanks to her PR team and her number one album "Circus."