Critic - 2026 Issue 26

25 OCTOBER IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO ENROL TO VOTE.

ENROL NOW

ISSUE 26 12th October 2026 EDITOR Hanna Varrs DEPUTY EDITOR Stella Weston DESIGNER Stella Caulton VIDEO EDITOR Hunter Jolly, VIDEO CREW Ngākau Aporo NEWS EDITOR Gryffin Blockley FEATURES EDITOR Matilda Rumball-Smith

The Twenty-Sixth Time

Where to begin.

Writing this feels surreal. This year, I’ve dreaded Thursdays (the day we print) twenty-five times. I’ve wondered if I could do it twenty-five times. I haven’t felt like I’ve done a good enough job twenty-five times. I have built and let go of something I loved twenty-five times. I have wanted this magazine to succeed twenty-five times, and made mistakes twenty-five times. And now I’ll do it all for the twentysixth time. Even though I’ll return as Editor next year, this print is special. It’ll be the last Critic I print as a student at Otago University. When I come back, I’ll be looking in from the outside in at the student culture that has shaped me. That’s a bittersweet feeling. I don’t think I’ll love anything like I love Ōtepoti, or Critic, ever again. When I came here, I was unsure. I continued to be unsure, and I still am – but I now have things in my life that are certain. I am certain that I love journalism, and that I am exactly where I need to be. I think I was put on this Earth to find Critic, which I understand sounds intense, but I really mean it when I say this magazine is so special to me. I remember that very early this year, an ex-Critic Editor from the early 2000s came into our office, just dropping by. He quizzed me on how things were, and we were mutually happy to hear how things were pretty much still the same despite the 20 or so years that had elapsed since his tenure. “You’ll never work this hard again,” he told me – and I get it. As the Editor who trained me, Nina, often said: Critic is a labour of love.

CULTURE EDITOR Molly Smith Soppet

And I think that when you pick-up Critic, you can actually feel how much every staff member genuinely adores it. I doubt I’ll ever feel this passionately about a role ever again, and I don’t want to. Like a first love, I will always have a special place for Critic. For 101 years, this magazine has continued, and it has been an utter privilege to serve as Editor this year to continue that legacy. My job, university and education is a gift, and every period of stress has been worth it. Every hard week has been a small price to pay for the independence, patience and trust in myself that I have gained. I wish I could thank every one of our readers personally. Everytime I walk through the Link and see people reading the magazine, watch someone flip through the pages during a lecture or point to an illustration to show their friend, I genuinely feel a sense of surprise. It means the world to me that even one person might read this thing, let alone the many that I’ve interacted with this year that do. Thank you. To our staff and contributors, I hope you know that I love you all to your core. If any of you hit me with a car I would say thank you. You all make me so happy, and I couldn’t ask for a better team. The creativity, adaptability and passion you all demonstrate is a beautiful thing. I am lucky to have all of you. So, here is the twenty-sixth mag for 2026. If you’re still reading, I hope to see you around for 2027. You won’t regret it. PS: Don’t burn couches.

ĒTITA MĀORI Heeni Koero Te Rerenoa SENIOR NEWS REPORTER Bella Bates SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGER Maddy Barnes STAFF WRITERS Harry Almey, Imogen Perry, Jesse Valpy, Te Awhirēinga Heperi, Saraia Allais CONTRIBUTORS Salome Prekopa, Harriet Gowing, Ash McFarlane, Lola Diehl, Emily Ng RADIO ONE Ash McFarlane BOOZE REVIEWS Swig60 HOROSCOPES Otago Oracle ILLUSTRATION Gemma McKinney @worms.ink Jimmy Tannock @jimmydrawing Eddie Fenton @boyorfeo Eleanor Walker @furby_is_alive FRONT COVER Ash McFarlane, Zion Baptist CENTREFOLD Eleanor Walker ONLINE Charlotte Williams DISTRIBUTION Pedals Dunedin ADVERTISING SALES sales@planetmedia.co.nz 03 479 5361 READ ONLINE critic.co.nz Issuu.com/critic_te_arohi GET IN TOUCH critic@critic.co.nz Instagram/@criticmag Facebook/CriticTeArohi TikTok/@criticmag 03 479 5335 P.O.Box 1436, Dunedin Critic Te Ārohi is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA). Disclaimer: The views presented within this publication do not necessarily represent the views of the Editors or OUSA. NZ Media Council: People with a complaint against a magazine should first complain in writing to the Editors and then, if not satisfied with the response, complain to the NZ Media Council. Complaints should be addressed to the Secretary: info@mediacouncil.org.nz.

CONTENTS 1 NEWS 05. NZ Young Writers Fest Takes Over Dunedin 06. OUSA Third Quarter Exec Reports: First Pay Cuts of the Year 08. On The Voting Fence? There’s A Website For That 09. Rock The Vote Reviewed 30. TLDR;

2 CULTURE 12. So You've Finished Your Degree, Now What? 14. In Defence Of The Small Room

LETTER

Dear Critic te ārohi, aration of my love and gratitude I wish my first message to you was a declyear, but instead, duty and justice for all of the lovely work you’ve done thising. I must report a crime. A crime so calls me to my outlook outbox this even severe, I shiver to type it. (the Lindo Ferguson microscope Earlier today, I crept from my dark cave Luckily, there was a whole stack A. OUS at h room) to take a break for lunc and went back to my temple of of Critics waiting for me. I grabbed one le page for a long-awaited study puzz the to up solace, dreaming of opening y, so I waited for that sweet sweet break. I was feeling extra locked-in toda ion after I completed my study plan. fact satis crossword-puzzle-completionflat and taking a whiff of that fresh All day, I was dreaming of relaxing at my print. my critic to find that the crossword Imagine my abhorrence when I opened grabbed a critic. Completed the had already. been. completed. Someone shelf. I’m terrified. I’m suddenly crossword. And put it back on the fucking one of them could be capable of distrustful of my fellow students- that any such monstrosity is unthinkable. emned, and I hope that no other I request that this offence is publicly cond same fate. the critic crossword enthusiast ever suffers Yours truly, A procrastinating postgrad this. Are you all fucking insane? Editor’s Response: Guys please don’t do What’s happened to this institution @critic.co.nz Send a letter to the editor at scritic a Voucher! to be in to win an OUSA Club & Soc's Saun

3 FEATURE 18. The Great Summer Festival Guide

4 COLUMNS 24. Radio One 25. OUSA Exec 26. Heeni as: The North Island Princess 27. Booze Reviews 28. Horoscopes 29. Snap Of The Week

dear critic,

Dear Critic,

i have just parted ways with my homoerotic friendship (or situationship???? labels are weird) and as i was making my little sad walk to the central library, i picked up a fresh copy of you, as i always do ofc

It occurred to me recently that election Saturday (November 7th) coincides with our final day of examinations. Given exam dates are set several years in advance, I can only presume this day was chosen specifically by a Government that has made its contempt for voting rights, and the student vote in particular, blatant in the extreme. Had I any doubts, they would be contravened on seeing that exams end next year on November 13th – their earlier conclusion this year was meant to leave students free for election day.

i discovered the article in the culture section, and i lowkey cried a little, like i didnt know if i should be laughing or feeling bittersweet about the timing of this article, but ive never felt so heard by you before i find myself missing them and all the things we usually did together, and its a shame that i have to add another person to my list of people to try and forget about (iykyk), but at least i know there will always be a fresh copy of you to pick up on mondays that’ll make me feel less lonely keep being you, sarah xoxo

In light of all this, several points must be made clear: (1) vote as early as you can. (2) there will be polling booths on campus. (3) you can register to vote in an electorate you do not live in permanently – there is no need to leave Dunedin to cast your ballot. Be sure to enrol by October 25th.

LETTERS POLICY Letters should be 150 words or fewer. The deadline is Thursday at 12pm. Get them into Critic by emailing us at critic@critic.co.nz. Letters of a serious nature directly addressing a specific group or individual will not be published under a pseudonym, except in extraordinary circumstances as negotiated with the Editors. Critic Te Ārohi reserves the right to edit, abridge, or decline letters without explanation. Frequently published correspondents in particular may find their letters abridged or excluded. Defamatory or otherwise illegal material will not be printed. We don’t fix the spelling or grammar in letters. If a letter writer looks stupid, it’s because they are.

DON'T BURN COUCHES

ISSUE 26

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12/10/2026

NZ Young Writers Fest Takes Over Dunedin Young writers write about a weekend of writing

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he recent New Zealand Young Writers Festival and associated wānaka was a fabulous success, and although these Critic Te Ārohi writers were both part of this year’s cohort, we promise we aren’t biased. It’s all happening in our very own UNESCO City of Literature. The festival is organised annually by the team at Dunedin Fringe, and they truly outdid themselves this year. For the second year, a wānaka was offered for a selected cohort of twenty seven writers aged 18 to 35. This was a three day stay at Puketeraki Marae in Karitane, and was guided by a tuakana/ teina framework to offer inspiration and skill building. The wānaka began with a pōwhiri and a Talitali kava ceremony, which gave writers the opportunity to both honour our passed loved ones and use their mana to set an intention for the duration of the festival. We also embarked upon a guided tour around Huriawa pā, honouring the stories of the land we had come to write our own on. Each morning we had the opportunity to greet the sunrise with karakia and waiata. It was a great way to ground ourselves before we got busy writing and creating. Although nothing to do with writing, watching the sun come up over Huriawa pā was definitely a highlight, and definitely some sources on inspo. Each night ended with an open mic in the wharenui, sharing new and old pieces, and, while a little daunting, this certainly worked to build connections between twenty seven incredibly talented writers. This year’s tuakana also offered workshops which ranged from Eric Soakai guiding the cohort through a detailed life mapping session of our past and future (including our death date), to Josiah Morgan, the 2026 Young Writer in Residence, teaching us to be comfortable within the uncomfortable, through movement. We also listened to kōrero from Antony Deaker and Nick Tipa on managing artist funds, taxes, and grant applications – all that good stuff no one teaches you in high school. Vanessa, Hannah, Katrina, and the entire team at Fringe truly deserve the world for making this festival possible, and somehow managing to make it even better year after year.

By Te Awhirēinga Heperi & Stella Weston

Staff Writer and Deputy Editor news@critic.co.nz//deped@critic.co.nz

This year’s tuakana, Eric and Rauhina Kohuwai-Banks, were also instrumental with their work behind the scenes, and their grounding presence at the wānaka. There’s sure to be many talented young writers popping up in Ōtepoti in the near future, so keep your eyes peeled. The actual festival programme then opened with this cohort of young writers presenting their beautiful writing in Pou Kōrero, Pou Talanoa: Posts that Speak. This event closed with the writers singing the waiata written by last year’s cohort, and now the official waiata of the festival – pretty cool for both of us, who are lucky enough to have attended two years in a row. The weekend then involved a jam-packed schedule, with workshops on slam poetry, zine making, multilingual collaborative poetry, and ritual. It’s safe to say the writing process is a lot more involved than just staring at a blank Word document. In particular, Tara Leckie’s workshop ‘Talking to the Dark’, was a highlight for many festival attendees, with one writer remarking that it was “a healthy way to bounce thoughts around that may be not as frequently spoken about, and then come back to the safety of the light.” The Otago Poetry Slam Champs also kicked off Saturday night with some truly incredible performances. The festival wrapped up with a panel discussion from a select five of the cohort, discussing courage and revolution in their work, and their lives. The panel touched on lived experience, aliveness, the mess of collaboration, the suspension of disbelief, and initiative in response to resignation. It was a bright and active kōrero, and MC Rachel O’Neill provided insightful questions that really allowed the room to get to the core of this kaupapa. But this wasn’t quite the end for the cohort themselves, who gathered afterwards for their closing reflections and poroporoaki. You could tell everyone in that room was a poet, and even more so, you could tell how truly meaningful the whole experience had been for everyone. If this sounds like a bit of you, we’ll see you same time next year! In the meantime, check out all the other awesome mahi the Fringe team are doing year round, and think about writing for our very best city’s very best mag next year (Critic – in case that wasn’t clear).★

STUDENT DISCOUNT AVAILABLE

*not in conjunction with any other special www.cornerstoneink.co.nz | 324 George Street, City, Dunedin 9016 | 021 134 2604

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OUSA Third Quarter Exec Reports: First Pay Cuts of the YearBy Harry Almey Please read this, we're begging you

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hoo choo, it's OUSA Exec quarterly reports again! Your shorthand for knowing what sort of work your almighty representatives are doing on your behalf (and on your dollar). Exec members must submit a report of their work for the quarter, and the rest of them scrutinise it to determine whether they ought to be paid their full honorarium (their pay, basically). Accountability – yay! Let's see how they've been going as we are firmly in student burnout season. Regarding pay cuts, we think readers should bear in mind that last year, seven Exec members had their pay cut, sometimes several times. Most cuts last year were 10-15% of their honorarium (with a few exceptions). While the cuts this year are deeper, there have been much fewer overall. The OUSA Exec was keen to emphasise there was no nasty business with these cuts, and wanted to distance themselves from last year's cuts, which they have described as a "write-off." President Daniel Leamy said that "These pay reductions reflect the Executive's commitment to collective accountability. We are constantly aware that, at the end of the day, we are paid with student money, and there are expectations that come with each Executive role. Pay decisions are not made lightly and demonstrate the Executive taking its responsibilities seriously in a fair and constructive way." OUSA Exec members have to work their required hours "where practicable," and have general Exec responsibilities in addition to their portfolio-specific ones. Other circumstances, like sickness and family issues, were considered in the decisions. THE FULL TIMER: Daniel Leamy – President Q3 Average Hours - 40.54/40 "Safe to say there has been a lot of media this quarter," Daniel wrote. Fronting up for at least sixteen OUSA and University committees, and appearing in Critic Te Ārohi and the Otago Daily Times about matters such as Hybrid Governance and the University Bookshop, Daniel Leamy has certainly been #visible this quarter. Daniel writes that he hasn't given up on a student bar, even if it's more of a long-term aspiration. He also says there is a final proposal of student governance that will better serve students, if it's followed through. But looking forward to what little of the year we have left, his priorities will be around boosting student engagement and enrolment for the general election. THE 20 HOUR BRIGADE: Kamesha Jones – Administrative Vice President Q3 Average Hours - 19.95/20 (27/20 if don't count mid-year break) Kamesha Jones describes Administrative Vice President work as "the connective tissue," between OUSA Exec, staff, and "our purpose." She has a finger in every pie, worked roughly 27 hours a week during term-time, and made a contribution to every behind-the-scenes bit of work imaginable. As she was recently re-elected for 2027, Kamesha will have a second shot at the structural and administrative reforms that were sunk by an inquorate SGM. It's been a rough quarter for Kamesha, who noted her heavy workload and frankly admitted that "pretty much all of my goals of AVP for the year have been completely sidetrack[ed], steamrolled, [or] quashed." Despite "the tragic SGM" and the need to remove herself from her studies, she is very happy with her work with the Education Action Group and

Staff Writer // news@critic.co.nz

their series of protests. Increasing and maintaining student engagement is Kamesha's headline priority moving forward. Rihana Warsame – Welfare & Equity Representative Q3 Average Hours - 10.7/20 While it's been a less busy quarter for Rihana this time round, there's been some important mahi nonetheless. The Otago Disabled Students' Association has been re-launched successfully, and there are high hopes it'll be in action from the start of next year. Rihana writes she has engaged more with the refugee student community, and tried to get free athome HIV testing kits available around OUSA and campus. Her proposal for diversity equity and inclusion workshops in firstyear halls of residence is dead in the water, though. Rihana noted limitations stemming from a lack of enthusiasm, and the need for the University to make a firm commitment. Rihana averaged 10.7 hours of work per week this quarter. During quarter one, it was 15-17 hours; in the second quarter it was 18 hours. She noted in her report that she had gone home for some time, and admitted she didn't expect the impact that time difference would have on her ability to use email and Teams to make up for her physical absence. She received a 25% honorarium cut for the quarter – the smallest of the cuts. Hansini Wijekoon – Academic Representative Q3 Average Hours - 21.75/20 AI policy has been a big headache for Hansini. So while policy is developing slowly, the AI part remains sticky. Hansini is gathering up student feedback with Student Voice (aka class reps), to better inform various academic policies – like the Academic Integrity Policy. The proposal to split the Academic Rep role in two has also been a big focus last quarter, part of the SGM proposal. The reasoning, as expressed in Exec meetings, is that while the Academic Rep role is meant to do committee and advocacy work, committees suck up all the hours. The draft plan to split that work between two Exec members has been completed: it just needs the final tick of approval from the student body. The rest of Hansini's time has been spent reviewing the Lecture Recording Policy. This is intertwined with the broader issue of declining lecture attendance. Hansini says that without better attendance, reforming the Recording Policy to cover more teaching formats is not happening any time soon. Sorry to any lectorial haters. So, Hansini has a message to students flunking lectures for no good reason: "GO TO THOSE LECTURES, I'M BEGGING." Troy Gibbons – Finance & Strategy Officer Q3 Average Hours - 21.77/20 Q3 has been a hectic one for President-elect Gibbons. He's attended Education Action Group protests, graduation ceremonies, and gotten the budget all ready for a (hopefully quorate) AGM. Work was also done on a memorandum of understanding for UniQ, and thoughts on lessons learned has kept him optimistic, despite "a lot of disappointment" this year. The only thing that has him down is a proposed ACT Party policy which would make funding OUSA services voluntary for students. He writes twice that he is not optimistic on the future of student associations if the policy were to become law. Troy reports that he, Kamesha, and Flynn have got OUSA's BDS posture to "90%." He is full of praise for Kamesha, who says they are "a dynamic duo," and for Flynn too, who he has been working with closely on all things general election. Troy has also kept busy behind the scenes this quarter, writing that he “helped Hybrid [Governance] sink, which is my greatest achievement this year."

DON'T BURN COUCHES

NEWS

THIS LOT WORK TEN HOURS: Zoe Eckhoff – Residential Representative Q3 Average Hours - 7.83/10 Busy bee then (Q2), busy bee now – Zoe wins the award for longest report. Last quarter was governance-focused, this time round it's been advocacy-centric. Her flatting info pamphlets continue to have praise heaped upon them, including from a director of Edinburgh Property Management. She has also been advocating for a flat with an awful case of mould (undoubtedly there’s many more out there). Otherwise, Zoe's imagination is running wild with new campaign ideas (upgrade pamphlet to detailed document, commentary on free hours of power, flat care course) – but there is solid, tangible progress on the green sticker campaign. Students would slap one of those bad boys onto a flat to communicate whether they were over the moon, or just cool with a particular residential experience. The design deadline is November, so this is something to keep an eye on for next year. This issue might be the last for Critic Te Ārohi this year, but the OUSA Exec still has a few months to go. Zoe aims to make headway on the green stickers, a long-form flatting guide, and a flat care course. Getting OUSA's Residential Committee off the ground remains a goal – and has been one for the whole year! Her re-election means she will have a second term as Residential Rep to finish the mahi started this year. But she's not done yet, keeping her diary full with meetings, such as with Dunedin's MP Rachel Brooking and Labour's housing spokesperson, Keiran McAnulty. Flynn Nisbett – Political Representative Q3 Average Hours - 9.14/10 (Yearly average 11.96/10) Flynn writes that he has exceeded his 10 hours every week, and literally no one is surprised. Reflecting on the 3rd quarter, the Political Rep celebrates that the OUSA Leaders debate turned out 300 students, and they had a role in organising the two of largest student protests in nearly 30 years – with more on the way. OUSA has also enrolled over 500 students, which is less than VUSWA (hard to compete when you have a campus across the road from Parliament). Some of Flynn's colleagues are singing his praises for his Political Rep mahi. "Flynn is definitely the wizard of social media," writes Kamesha, and Daniel credited him with organising a huge bulk of the OUSA leaders' debate. This quarter, he's met with 13 politicians, including the Ministry for Tertiary Education, and co-ordinated with four other student associations on how best to fight for fees-free, paid placements, and VSM. Not to mention those slick graphics on @ousaexec. Fergus Parks – Postgraduate Representative Q3 Average Hours - 5.32/10 zQ3 for Fergus has involved dealing with postgraduate matters as they arise, and going strong on the committee front. Key highlights include prepping for the Supervisor of the Year Award. Meeting regularly with the Graduate Research School, and being the voice of old people everywhere, Fergus has also been supporting general OUSA happenings, when he finds the time on top of his Masters. Fergus made his hours in Q1, before slipping to 7.96 in Q2. Now, he's been hit with a 30% pay cut for Q3. Fergus won't be returning next year, but writes that the proposed "repaint" of the postgrad role into the Academic Officer should still go ahead. The basic gist around that role change proposal was that postgrad concerns are primarily dealt with in-department, and not taken to the Postgrad Rep very often. With the disestablishment of the Society for Postgraduate Students (which struggled to build engagement), it was thought the Postgrad Rep should take some weight off the Academic Rep's stacked plate.

KARERE Ella-Mary Sangster – Clubs & Societies Representative Q3 Average Hours - 4.31/10 (yearly average 8.48/10) It’s been a busy quarter for Ella, as uni clubs always seem to be. Ella noted that some clubs have had "interpersonal issues", and making student support resources more appealing and accessible is an ongoing task. While Ella has moved around a few tasks due to medical reasons, she's delighted to have achieved an informal club calendar for club events (check it out on the OUSA website!) The Clubs & Societies Representative will be reflecting on student support services, promoting the club calendar among affiliated clubs, and working to increase the flow of info between OUSA and clubs, as Q4 runs its course. Thanking the executive and Clubs & Socs staff for their support, she writes, "Concussions suck, but community is awesome. Yay!" Irfaan Ariffin – Clubs & Societies Representative Q3 Average Hours - 4.5/10 Irfaan has received a 40% pay cut for Q3 – the largest of any this quarter. The report is a little thin on general Exec duties. That aside, he has been working away on two big projects: advising on the Malam Malaysia event, and a dip at St. Clair to show the unity of international students in Aotearoa. He's hoping to get six to ten high-profile campus and community personalities to boost visibility on the fundraising dip event. Any BNOCs he should hit up? Otherwise, Irfaan reports no major academic issues, no issues within the Exec, and no new international student club affiliations. His latest idea is bringing in sponsorships from local businesses in an event promoting the international student community in Dunedin. EX-OFFICIO MEMBERS: Sami Harrison Dunn & Jarna Flintoff – Te Rōpū Māori Tumuaki Takirua The Tumuaki Takirua of Te Rōpū Māori (TRM) haven't gotten less busy, as suggested by their only recommendation being "better preservation of self to prevent burnout." A big reason was running and organizing of Te Huinga Tauira, the national Māori students’ conference, which was "the most stressful undertaking of our time in office," but a lot of fun. TRM came third in the kapa haka competition, but won hearts and minds. Also contributing to stress has been some issues with Te Mana Ākonga (the national Māori student association body) over communication and organisation. TRM has got their Grant Policy running this quarter, and so far the Policy Kōmiti has not met, owing to the demands of Te Huinga Tauira. A big milestone was signing Te Kawenata Honoka with the Deputy Vice-Chancellor Māori, which they hope will become a sustainable living document that stands the test of time. Adeleine Eli – Pacific Islands Students’ Association President Heaps of engagement with member clubs of the Pacific Islands Students’ Association (UOPISA) drove home a productive quarter two. Adeline's still admin-ing away, and the re-signing of OUSA and UOPISA’s memorandum of understanding just needs some little financial gaps from previous years ironed out. UOPISA put in the work, went through the admin and money trenches, and put on its annual Pacific Awards Night to great success. A meeting with other Pacific Island Student Associations around the motu to sign a memorandum of understanding is still a work in progress, and Adeleine remains optimistic the outcome will be connections lasting years to come. Another highlight was Pacific Week, which saw social, sports, paint, and tote bag making events hosted by component associations of UOPISA all around campus. This is just a brief summary of over ten thousand words of reports, and over a thousand hours of work. If you’re feeling nerdy, full Q3 reports can be read on the OUSA website. ★

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On The Voting Fence? There’s A Website For That A youth-focused way to figure out who on Earth to vote for

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n the Fence is back for the 2026 election, helping to support young people in turning out, getting involved and voting. Brought to you by Massey University’s Toi Ara Research Cluster, the website includes an interactive quiz to see where your personal beliefs align with Aotearoa’s political parties. Critic Te Ārohi caught up with Hanna Breurkes, Designer for Toi Ara, to learn more about the kaupapa. If the name On the Fence seems vaguely familiar to you, it’s because it’s been around in past election cycles. Debuting all the way back in the 2014 election, but taking the 2023 vote off, it’s now back in full force. Political parties polling above one percent in polls were included in the website – with minor parties (Greens, NZ First, ACT, Opportunity, and Te Pāti Māori) joining the major parties Labour and National. So how does it even work? Luckily, if you have a pretty cooked attention span, it’s interactive and youth focused – so fear not if political pundits scare you a bit. Hanna described On the Fence as being designed to be an “accessible entry point” into thinking about government and politics. So whether you’ve got a few politics papers under your belt, or tune out at political talk all together, it’s an even starting ground for everyone. The experts acknowledge it’s a hard world to get into – “We know that for a lot of young people and first time voters, it's quite hard to start learning these things,” Hanna said. But that’s where On the Fence comes in. The website guides you through a series of questions, with a slider bar to drag across the screen to show how much you agree or disagree with a certain statement. This means that there’s no black and white answers, which is perfect if you’re indecisive, or if you feel conflicted about a particular issue. Hanna understands this from the design perspective: “You don't have to give a binary answer, because we understand that things are really complex sessions and you might not fully agree with one side or another.” Each question also corresponds to a certain topic, such as the environment or immigration, which you can also rank importance to align with the key issues you’re putting your vote toward. On the Fence is all about the youth focus, so some “hot topics” of particular relevance to the 2026 election are included. Think move on orders, social media bans and capital gains taxes – huge issues that have dominated the news cycle for the last three years. This means prospective voters can get some guidance on how their beliefs align with the current political climate, keeping up to date with ever-changing policy. The questions are freshly updated to reflect our rapidly changing country, with some questions staying the same from

By Gryffin Blockley

News Editor // news@critic.co.nz

past elections, and other new ones getting included. A political science professor has also reviewed all the questions, adding reassurance everything is reflective of the current state of the nation. The youth focus is still paramount to the question design, though. Hanna added that organisations such as apolitical NGOs and Generation Vote “aided in us formulating the questions”. Hanna also added that “all the questions are based on core ideas of government responsibility, like tax and housing and transport.” At the end of the quiz, an algorithm considers the weighting of your results, and key personal issues to show which parties aligned with your answer the most. There’s also information available to learn more about each of the parties if you’re keen to keep learning about the policies on offer. If data is your thing, there’s a question-by-question breakdown of how your answers to each question compares with that of the political parties. This is especially useful if you feel like you agree with a parties stance on some things, but not all. The Toi Ara team have lovingly clocked Gen Z and made sure to include a shareable graphic at the end of the quiz. As you select what topics are of most importance to you, a mini New Zealand gets built, reflecting your personal vision for the country. This will look awesome on your Instagram story and be sure to capture the attention of all the politically active baddies. So far this year, there’s been a great response to On the Fence. Hardly a surprise, when 73% of respondents in 2020 said the tool was useful in helping decide who to vote for. Hanna described that "students have been really engaged” with On the Fence, and really interested in what comes out in the wash. “Some of them are surprised by the results that they see, and some of them aren't.” You should go figure out where you stand. Youth engagement is a particularly important issue on the minds of many in the political world, with just 62.1% of 18-24 year old Kiwis enrolled to vote as of the 30th of September. Hanna said that she hopes the tool “will see a lot more confident voters and young people” who feel empowered to make a voting decision that’s “informed by personal values, rather than maybe influenced by other people in their lives.” So, who you vote for is up to you. But if you’re still On the Fence on who to vote for come November 7th, you know exactly which website to visit. Ensure to enrol to vote by the 25th of October. Check out On the Fence at https://www.onthefence.co.nz/ ★

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Rock The Vote Reviewed

Voting never sounded so damn loud DISCLAIMER* Critic Te Ārohi sent their hungover designer with no writing experience to document the day. All the writers were more hungover.

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n October 3rd, a random street in the industrial area of Ōtepoti was taken over by young musos, politicians, a voting booth, food trucks, a fucking massive Palestine flag, Craig Daniels, several hundred supporters, and a whole lot of political rage. This crock pot of awesomeness was an all-day, all-ages alternative music festival called Rock The Vote – giving some real support and incentive to push youth enrolment. You’ve probably had some promo shoved in your face in the build-up to this event – hundreds of posters have been pasted around town, and a zine was even created and distributed to give an overview of the bands and the festival itself. However, Rock The Vote was a step above other local alternative music festivals. Critic talked to Natasha Griffiths (DUN Records, and an organiser of Rock The Vote) about the state of our community: “The Dunedin music scene is criminally underfunded [...] While youth enrolment remains far too low.” She brought up how the event was an opportunity to bring attention to these issues. “To put our artists on the big stage they deserve, create a safe third space for young people, and remind people that their voices, and their votes matter.” This event bridged that gap between rangatahi and politics to make voting feel less like an obligation and more like something that actually belongs to young people. Nobody was telling you who to vote for, but the Greens’ gazebo was giving out free apples – green, not red. The day started at 12pm and bands played right through to 8pm. The line-up featured local scene legends Motheaten, Coward!, the pink opaque, Grace Gemmell, Deaf Raccoon, Dolly Possum, Talking Furniture, Seek Help!, Sogg, Sivle Talk, Vagina Dry, U-No Juno, Bunchy’s Big Score, Strap, Rheumy and DJ’s curated by Tina Turntables. How’s that for a lineup? The day was also fully broadcast by Retrospect Entertainment, being livestreamed on YouTube with Craig Daniels (Campus Watch) interviewing the crowd between sets. Our local musos are too broke to tour, so this is the next best thing for those beyond Ōtepoti to see what all that Dunedin ruckus is about. While The Crown’s DANKFEST takes pride in its DIY ethos, Rock The Vote was treated like the real deal. Passer-bys would assume some big out-of-town act was playing, but fuck that. Local musicians played on a massive stage beneath professional lighting and rigging, and a sound system that LCD would be proud of. The production and organisation of Rock The Vote was gifted by Southern Lights and Natasha Griffith’s DUN Records, with all the profit going directly to the performers. Within a few seconds of entering the festival, Critic was immediately accosted by someone asking if we were enrolled to vote. Critic answered correctly and was validated with a bumper sticker – that’s just one of the many benefits of participating in a democracy. Looking around at the crowd, there was a sea of dyed hair that looked like glorious Mr Skittles threw up on Devon Street.

By Ash McFarlane & Hanna Varrs

Co-Designer and Editor // critic@critic.co.nz

Shortly after admiring this rainbow, Natasha was kind enough to take Critic to the backrooms of Southern Lights to find some local musicians to torment (interview). Feeling pretty exclusive with the VIP ticket, Critic ended up in the green room and found a bunch of them nervously waiting to play on a stage far bigger than their usual, more humble set-ups. Zac, a member of the pink opaque, was especially excited about the opportunity. “It’s cool to see a showcase of Dunedin's music scene in the form of an actual festival,” he said. “It’s like what you would see in other parts of the country that maybe have a little more ratepayer money or funding initiatives. This had a really great group of people behind it.” It was like Coachella, but if it was in Dunedin and the weather was always a bit shit. Just like Coachella, many celebrities attended. While politicians didn’t get the mic, Dunedin electorate candidates Victor Billot, Francisco Hernandez, and Rachel Brooking were all there, representing Alliance, Greens, and Labour respectively. Critic asked Fran if he believes the youth feel listened to by politicians. “Young people don’t feel listened to by this Government,” he said. “[But] they do feel listened to by some politicians. Like, whenever Chlöe walks on campus, she is basically mobbed by students.” However, Fran admitted that the political class and system are largely indifferent to students and young people. “That's why we have to work to change it, to create a system that’s more friendly for young people, for Māori, for everyone.” Some might say young people need to rock the vote. Haha! Rachel largely agreed with Fran’s sentiment. “There are a whole bunch of politicians on the right who I don't think are very interested in listening to the youth and, in fact, are actively trying to disenfranchise them. We’ve seen that with vote enrolment now closing on the 25th of October,” she explained. Both Rachel and Fran agreed on the fact that art was inherently political, and seemed happy to listen to some tunes and keep chatting policy in between set changes. Not that they had much choice – the music was really fucking loud. Music has undoubtedly always been something that brings community together, acting as a vehicle for politics throughout history. “Music is art and art is political inherently, and the people who try to be apolitical in their art are fucking pussies,” Tane told Critic, a proud member of Sivle Talk. “Everyone here is very well-motivated, because we are all broke and sad. It’s what brings us together.” the pink opaque’s Zac supported that sentiment, “There’s something to be said about the state we are in right now,” he said. “You look back at the scenes, like, in the 80s, UK punks protesting against Margaret Thatcher and various other movements – that's still alive today.” And it lives on Devon Street. Aside from one minor hiccup when Bunchy’s Big Score went so hard they fucking killed the generator, Rock The Vote was a roaring success. It proved that getting young people engaged with politics doesn’t just have to be another panel discussion in a lecture theatre, but can just be some pissed-off musicians and a massive stage in a parking lot. If you missed the gig and also need eight hours to procrastinate during exam season, check out the stream on YouTube. ★

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Crosshare puzzle ACROSS

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1 Expression that covers what one is thinking or feeling (2) 4 Formal dance between two people 8 English county where Britain's oldest recorded town lies 9 An ointment that can heal skin or ease pain 10 Their NBA team is called 'Heat' 11 A judge's whacky thing 12 Automobile company with interlocking rings as its logo 13 To change something like a contract or law 14 Often used on construction sites to protect one's hearing 16 Restrained by a police officer 20 O.G musician, active in the 18th Century 21 Lisbon is the capital city of this country 23 A copy or mimic of something/someone 24 Someone who is doomed 25 Singer of 2026 song 'The Cure', ______ Rodrigo 26 People who have been convicted of a crime

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9 DOWN An ointment that can heal 1 A type of cheese often used as pasta topping skin or ease pain 2 Activity where you and your mates can pretend you're capable of giving a decent vocal performance 3 Made a conscious, intentional choice opt out of something 5 The world's most popular Esports game (3) 6 Plants are their opps 7 To blurt something out 15 To formally declare your resignation from someone or something that you no longer accept 17 Luxury sports car company 18 Amy Winehouse banger that gets played too often at Pint Night 19 Male deer 22 Lie

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5 The world's most popular Esports game (3)

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STONKS HERON PEKAPEKA SPOOKY HAUNTED FLAMES BEEHIVE DEPOP AGORAPHOBIA LANEWAY MOONSTONE DREAMS DEMOCRATIC MATAKANA SURF SAMHAIN BONFIRES WAKACHANGI VENUS EQUILIBRIUM MOSH DGAF ABSOFRUITLY FLIP CUCK

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t some point – tragically – university ends. Your student email is deactivated, the midweek hangovers become less defensible, and people start expecting you to exchange roughly eight hours of your day for money. Boo. If you’re currently staring down graduation and assuming everyone with professional LinkedIn headshots knows something you don't, we’ve got good news: they don’t. Critic Te Ārohi hunted down grads working across healthcare, journalism, science, consulting, policy and other professions Otago churns graduates towards en masse, and asked what they wish they’d known before starting out. Don’t ever say we don’t feed you.

Your first job does not need to be “the one”

MP Francisco Hernandez’s first lesson is probably worth tattooing onto the forehead of anyone stuck trawling Seek until 2am: your first job might not be particularly fun or interesting. Sometimes, he says, “you just gotta take a grind job to get your foot in the door.” Liam, an associate policy advisor, agreed. His biggest misconception was that you need to land the perfect job in your field immediately – but you don’t. Get in, learn stuff, meet people, then move. The same applies if your first post-uni move looks sideways, backwards, or a lot like the hospo job you thought your degree was the key to the getaway car from. Journalist and former Critic Editor Nina briefly returned to waitressing before her big break with Paddy Gower. Though, careers unfortunately are not usually a single escalator from Graduate Nobody to Chief Important Person. Sometimes the first job's main contribution to your career is teaching you exactly what you never want to do again.

Networking is real (unfortunately)

Bad news for those hoping LinkedIn was an elaborate collective prank. Suckers. Franciso recommends networking “as much as you can while at uni”. Nina says established people in journalism (and most other industries) genuinely want to help the next generation – so send that cold email, ask for the coffee date, and pick their brain. Jodie, an Interpretation Coordinator at Auckland Zoo, goes one better: find a mentor who is both successful and, more importantly, kind. Try go for less of a ‘corner the CEO beside the cheese platter and recite your CV’ vibe and more ‘let people know you're interested, be pleasant, and stay in touch’. Jodie says all of her contract work has come through word of mouth. Annoying and time consuming? Yes. Useful? Also yes.

AHUREA

So You've Finished Your Degree.. You are allowed to have absolutely no clue

Amber, a central-government policy advisor, wishes she had remembered what Cabinet was before starting work. Her solution? “Google is your mate.” That may be the most comforting professional advice you will ever receive. Healthcare worker Sienna says that when you start somewhere new, you may feel “out of place, terrified, or utterly clueless.” Keep turning up. Hours become weeks, weeks become months, and eventually you stop feeling like someone who snuck in and actually like you. Mia, a health economist, agrees, saying it can take six to nine months – or longer – to properly learn your job. Lucy, a budding teacher, expected her degree to prepare her to teach. It did. What it did not prepare her for was having to persuade thirty pre-teens to stop talking long enough to actually get some teaching done. Her advice: don’t interpret every chaotic class or situation as evidence that you're bad at your job. Managing other people – especially the youth – is a skill you develop by actually doing the job. The lesson? Your qualification is what gets you through the door. Nobody expects you to emerge from graduation perfectly cooked and ready to go.

Ask the stupid question

University trains some of us to struggle alone for a whole evening rather than sending a three sentence email to a lecturer. Work is not the place for this. Mia’s biggest advice is to ask for help. A five-minute conversation with someone senior can save you hours of quiet suffering. Francesca, a consultant, makes the same point: “Corporate uncs are fascinated by our generation and genuinely want to help us succeed. Ask questions!” Tom, a junior solicitor, quickly discovered that being good at law school and knowing how to be a lawyer are not the same thing. His early mistake was wasting far too long trying to solve things alone because he didn’t want to look incompetent. Meanwhile, a senior lawyer sitting ten metres away could have solved the issue in under a minute. Being new is the one period of your career where nobody can be shocked that you don’t know something. Use this to help you build your toolkit of skills.

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CULTURE By Molly Smith-Sop

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Your degree is not the be-all and end-all

Francesca did an Arts degree and now works as a consultant. She did not, as it turns out, need a Bachelor of Buzzwords, or even of Consulting. Her advice is to stop only applying for jobs that explicitly name your degree. Group projects become ‘teamwork’. Essays become written communication. Feedback from your supervisor becomes ‘taking direction’. That average assignment submission time of 11:58pm becomes… actually probably best to leave that one out of the CV. Jodie also warns against assuming grades are everything. Extracurriculars, internships, contacts, and evidence you can work productively in a range of settings can matter just as much. Your degree does matter. It is not, however, a legally binding prediction of the next 45 years of your life.

People skills are important, no matter the job

You can know every bone in the human body and still discover that explaining something to another human is a separate skill. New grad physio Sophie thought starting work would mean the hard bit was knowing what was wrong with a patient and how to fix it. Then she actually started work. Her biggest lesson was that the perfect rehab plan is useless if you can’t explain why it matters, make someone feel comfortable, and convince them to actually do it. The same rule travels across industries. Clients want lawyers who can explain things without sounding like they were made from a textbook. Students want teachers who can have a yarn. Journalists need sources to trust them. Scientists still have to explain their work to someone who hasn’t spent four years staring down a microscope. Basically, technical competence gets you a long way – but so does not being unbearable.

Your manager matters – a lot!

Two of the alumni we spoke to came back with the same warning: a good manager can make or break the beginning of your career. Workforce management graduate Amy recommends talking about working styles early on. Ask whether your manager wants questions as they come up or save for one meeting. Work out how they communicate. Set boundaries before accidentally establishing that you're available until 11pm forever. Andrew, who works across carbon forestry and online safety, similarly recommends researching who is good to work for and finding someone you can learn from. The shiny company name matters a whole lot less if the person directly above you makes every Tuesday feel like you're crawling over landmines.

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Be a person from the jump

Amber sees grads make the mistake of presenting themselves as a “perfect worker robot” in applications. Employers are hiring a colleague as well as a CV. Show some personality and explain not just what you did, but why and how you did it well. Theo, who works at the Ministry of Social Development, was surprised to discover office workers are not “boring squares”. They are – at the end of the day – just normal people. He had expected full-time work to be miserable. Instead, he likes it. “It’s nice to have money,” he admitted. That’s potentially the strongest graduate recruitment slogan of all time.

Uni rules don't apply here

Andrew offers probably the harshest advice of all: the workplace does not have extensions because you had a big Wednesday. You have to own your work and deliver. This doesn't mean that your boss or manager won't be flexible with what is going on in your life, but it does mean that reliability and understanding you are part of a chain of workflow is important. Oftentimes other people are waiting on your bit before they can do theirs. Fransciso had some similar advice: work hard, don’t burn bridges, and join your union.

The grand finale: back yourself

Jodie’s biggest early mistake was letting being the “new grad" or “young one in the office” eat into her confidence. Some workplaces will be brilliant at supporting you. Some will not. Neither is a definitive assessment of whether you belong in the field. Sienna’s advice was similar: be patient and kind to yourself. The hard days affect everyone. So do the good ones. Your first job will probably involve confusion, awkward interactions, deeply unnatural email tone and at least one moment where you wonder if in year 13 you made the right decision to study the degree that you did. But nobody starts as the finished product. You learn by doing the job.

So: apply for the thing you're not quite sure you're qualified for. Ask your questions. Take that coffee meeting. Make a friend. And remember that everyone around you once stood in the office kitchen pretending they knew which cupboard the mugs lived in – and soon you actually will. ★

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By Gryffin Blockley

Signing a flat is exhilarating. I think it’s just part of that ‘grass is always greener’ mentality: throughout the year, you notice more and more things wrong with your current living conditions that make it all too easy to glorify your digs for next year. Whether it’s a shitty bathroom, living with two hundred other students in halls and having zero personal space or finally getting rid of that one weird flatmate, signing that dotted line feels like more than a new lease on a house – it’s a new lease on life itself. So, congratulations! But there’s one final hurdle: room selections. I’m not sure whether the architects of Dunedin were participating in some mass conspiracy, but you’re more likely to ride a unicorn than find a flat where all bedrooms are the same size. It’s probably something to do with decades of landlords subdividing, extending, and squeezing another rentable bedroom into any patch of floor capable of fitting a mattress, but that's a conversation for another day. After committing yourself to a year-long contract, you might get some post-signing clarity. You might look back at the pictures you all took when you viewed the place, and realise that one room is actually quite small. When that ‘when are we deciding rooms?’ text comes, you might feel a pit in your stomach. You might try to gaslight yourself into thinking that paying an extra $10 to not take that room wouldn't be so bad. But today I’m here to make a far less disheartening case: why you should actually put your hand up for the small room. Or, at the very least, why you shouldn't fear it. Take it from a seasoned survivor – I spent a year in a room only a couple centimeters wider than my queen bed, and I genuinely had the time of my life. Sure, once all my furniture was in there I could barely sit on the floor, but what the room lacked in square meterage, it somehow made up for in charm. While everyone else saw the tiny room as the flat’s obvious short straw, I’d become a lot less defensive about it by the end of the year. So I’m here to end the victim mentality of small-room residents across Ōtepoti and give you some advice. Your room is not a punishment. It's a challenge. Do a random room draw I’ve been in flats that talked everything out to decide rooms, and flats where we left it entirely to chance. Having seen both sides, I’m firmly pro-random draw. It’s easy to think that if you’re all good mates that you can just talk it out – and sometimes you can. But it’s also easy for one person to get pressured into taking the hit for everyone else. Someone says they “don’t really

mind” the shitty room, and everyone gratefully accepts this information, and nobody thinks about if they actually don’t mind. That’s especially true with a new flatting group where everyone is still trying to keep the beef at bay before you’ve even moved in. My tiny room came from a random draw, huddled around a spinning-wheel app in Te Mātiti. When my name landed on the smallest room, there was that brief, horrible moment of mourning. Around 30 seconds later I was over it. Nobody had screwed me over. Nobody had won an argument at my expense. It was just luck. From that point on, the tiny room became something I had to make the best of, and that mindset genuinely changed everything. I went into the year determined not to spend 12 months feeling like I’d been sentenced to solitary confinement, and somewhere along the way I stopped pretending to like my little room. Instead, I started to love it. Get storage smart Despite many of us moving islands and travelling thousands of kilometres to university with little more than a suitcase, it somehow takes only a couple years to accumulate an astonishing amount of shit. Nothing makes you confront this fact quite like moving into a room half the size of your old one. If the room doesn’t have built-in storage, that’s double homicide. A tiny room does, however, force you to reckon with your own hoarding tendencies. Take it as your opportunity to finally go through your wardrobe, sell things on Depop or Marketplace, donate them, or palm them off to the next tenants. If freshers are taking over your flat, even better: one student’s trash is a fresher’s treasure. Then get clever with whatever survives the purge. Furniture with built-in storage is your best friend, and the closer something comes to being a TARDIS, the better. Conveniently, the end of the year sees half of Dunedin desperately trying to offload furniture before leaving town, so there’s usually a bargain nearby. I also recommend hitting up Te Oraka’s annual flatting goods sale at the start of the year. In the end, there’s something weirdly satisfying about knowing where everything you own goes. A small room forces you to curate it: there simply isn't enough floor space for you to keep the things you only sort of like or just use occasionally. You end up genuinely loving everything you own. Find new ways to appreciate the space Like a washed up celebrity, you only appreciate what you no longer have. When you’ve moved into a room

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CULTURE that means you can barely fit two mates in it at once, you start to appreciate the space differently. Gone are the days of dance parties or elaborate furniture layouts. In its place, you start noticing the weird things your room does have. Mine had massive windowsills. Sitting on one just about became my favourite pastime in my room – and who the fuck would think to do that if your room could just fit a chair. I’d eat there, people-watch there, sit there contemplating whatever crisis had consumed my life that week. If I had been able to fit literally any other sort of sitting furniture I would never have been forced to find a creative place to sit that wasn’t my bed. That’s part of the charm of a tiny room. You learn every centimeter of it. You find the nice patch of afternoon sun, work out exactly how to shuffle between the bed and the drawers, and develop an intimate relationship with whichever corner has the only accessible power socket. There is a saying that good things come in small packages, and I see no reason why that shouldn’t be extended to bedrooms. Get rid of your desk It’s pretty impressive that nearly every bedroom in North D has a desk in it, considering how few people actually study in their rooms. Unless you’re a microinfluencer making a ‘day in my life’ and performatively flexing how locked-in you are, think about how many hours you’ve spent studying in your flat compared with the library, campus, a cafe, or literally anywhere that isn't a metre away from your dedicated doomscrolling space (bed). I kept a desk in my tiny room for the entire year, and it’s probably my only regret. It ended up as a glorified dumping ground for cups, clothes, and every miscellaneous item that usually sat at the bottom of my backpack. If your room is genuinely tiny, ask yourself whether you actually need one. The places where you work and rest should probably be kept separate anyways. Treat your room like your sanctuary.

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This seems unfortunate until the good old Dunners winter arrives. My flatmate next door had a room roughly three times the size of mine. He also ended up having to use a sleeping bag to keep warm in winter, despite the flat being double glazed. Meanwhile, my shoebox became tropical approximately ten minutes after turning on the lounge heat pump. I probably used my personal heater fewer than ten times that year, and when I did there was a beautifully narrow window between feeling pleasantly warm and accidentally creating a sauna. Suddenly, all that extra space starts looking a little overrated and costing a lotta power. The small room enjoyer is warmer, your heater only has like four cubic metres of air to fight against, and your contribution to the power bill becomes wondrously low. You may have a small room, but you definitely didn’t draw the short straw. Romanticise the small room If you’ve ended up with a small room, the worst thing you can do is sulk about it. Your room is still your sacred space, free from anyone else. Whether it’s huge or small doesn’t matter. And once you stop using those labels and start thinking of it as your room, it gets a lot easier to love. By the end of the year, I was weirdly attached to mine. I loved the massive windowsill, how warm it was in winter, and the fact that I could reach almost everything I owned without getting out of bed. Put some shit on the walls, make it cosy, and lean into the shoebox of it all. You might be surprised how much you miss it when you leave. ★

The best part of having limited space is that everything has to earn its place. Your bed? Essential. Drawers? Essential. A lamp you found on Marketplace that makes the room look sexy? Arguably essential. Giant desk you sit at twice a semester? We can negotiate on that one. Know you’ll be winning by winter Many flats with egregiously tiny rooms tend to also be egregiously old due to all the various renovations.

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AHUATANGA

By Name

FEATURE Festival season is nearly upon us. As the semester draws to a close, and you’re stuck inside studying while the days get longer, we figured you needed a light at the end of the tunnel. There’s something special about Christmas and New Years in the Southern Hemisphere. While we don’t have a white Christmas, there’s still plenty of powder. That being said – make sure you test your drugs. Disclaimer: Last year was super fucking rainy, and everyone heard about it. We don’t know what the weather will bring this year, so take the opinions we’ve collected for this article (and the Internet’s opinions) with a grain of salt. If you like an artist, like the vibe, want a holiday with your mates, or want to take your dad to see some DnB for his birthday – fucking do it! We also want to acknowledge the independent music festivals that have faded away. Splore, One Love, The Others Way and Bay Dreams are among those cancelled or shut down, and others are on the way. Independent festivals like Twisted Frequency are under financial stress to keep going, and the only way to save them is to get fucked and go dance. You know what to do.

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A previous attendee noted the event’s “awful organisation” with another stating that they wouldn’t return, as the “price was too high for the organisation to be super shit.” Despite this, one attendee reckoned “it was lit” because they were “fucked up and had heaps of random friends there” even though it was super rainy (as was the theme for NY in 2025). We hope Hidden Valley has since learnt a bit about festival planning, and that asking $210 for a one day event won’t be daylight robbery if they get their shit together. We would also note that the lineup this year isn’t much to obsess over. There’s a lot of DnB and artists with one widely recognisable song. However, it’s a good one day summer line up for euphoric vibes. Committed festivalgoers often combine Hidden Valley with Northern Bass (read below) as they are very close together in timing and location, and everyone loves a bender. Make sure you account for transport delays and congestion.

NORTHERN BASS ($$$) LENGTH: 2 days (camping) DATE: Dec 30th - Dec 31st COST: $209.90 (GA presale) - $309.90 (third release) + 2 day camping pass ($79.90)

LENGTH: 1 day

2026 LINEUP HIGHLIGHTS: Andy C and Tonn Piper, Culture Shock, Lee Matthews, Songer, The Upbeats (insane DnB – will tear your ears off), A Little Sound, S.P.Y., Rova, and JME (for those who like UK drill)

DATE: Sunday 27th Dec 3PM - 11PM.

LOCATION: Kaiwaka/Mangawhai

COST: $210

Northern Bass is a two day camping festival north of Auckland, in Kaiwaka. They celebrate their 15th anniversary this year. Overall, this festival has a lot of DnB – think bush doof on drugs. It definitely caters to 18-25 year olds. The festival is known for booking big international and local names in the drum and bass, electronic, jungle and hip-hop scene.

HIDDEN VALLEY ($$$)

2026 LINEUP HIGHLIGHTS: Dimension, Armand Van Helden, Skin on Skin, Oppidan, Riordan LOCATION: Matakana A one day festival just north of Tāmaki Makaurau in Matakana, Hidden Valley was all anyone could talk about in 2025. Their 10th anniversary boasted a stacked line-up which catapulted them to the top of many people’s lists of desirable festivals. Artists like Wilkinson, K Motionz, Kettama, Chris Stussy and Silva Bumpa topped the headlines. However, the day didn't pan out as many punters expected – with bus drama and disorganisation being only the start of their problems.

There’s only two stages at NB – which can be a good thing or a bad thing – depending on how geared you are. One attendee said the two stages made finding friends super easy and it wasn’t too crowded, but another said “the music is so shit like I’m not a DnB fan.” They added that the smaller stage had good techno music, but the mainstage was “shit asf hardcore DnB and you can’t groove to it and it just all sounds the same and I just went to bed bc I ceebs the music and I was fucked up too.” Basically, if you don’t like DnB, steer clear from Northern Bass. However, another person we spoke to said it was a super cool vibe, with a perfect amount of people and the buses were organised. Given that so many of the other big names have been shamed due to terrible shuttle organisation, having organised transport instantly catapults this festival’s reputation up the ranks.

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MATAKANARAMA ($) LENGTH: 3 days (camping) DATE: Dec 29th - Dec 31st COST: 3 Day Pass at $309 + Camping Pass $79 2026 LINEUP HIGHLIGHTS: Park RD, Troy Kingi, Dunedin’s OWN Cruze Control!

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AUM ($$$$) LENGTH: 3 days (camping) DATE: 30 Dec - 2 Jan COST: $450 (including camping!) 2026 LINEUP HIGHLIGHTS: Ocean Alley, Mallrat

LOCATION: Matakana

LOCATION: Leightons Farm, Parakai, Auckland.

Matakanarama is actually hosted in Leigh on the Matakana Coast, 15 minutes out of the Matakana village itself. Matakanarama is a grassroots festival that grew from an exclusive flat party, with 350 people camping on the grass for three days in 2024. Nowadays, it’s a super cute festival with 1500 attendees and hosting some solid and widely known acts for 2026. If you want to be exclusive and different with an aesthetic friendgroup, this is the place for you. Just don’t forget your digicam!

AUM stands for Authentic Unified Movement, and it first began in 2014. It’s kind of like the super environmentally conscious indie younger sister of Burning Man. The performing artists are just one part of this festival – they have a visual art roster showcasing the work of over 30 artists, and interactive exhibits that attendees join in to create. Importantly, AUM is BYO, so you can bring whatever booze you want without paying ridiculous prices for a tiny vodka soda. However, they have a strict ban on glass: keep your beer bottles and wine coolers at home.

The vibe is described as “authentic” and “community-centric” by punters, with the organisers emphasising how it is a place for people to be themselves with like-minded people. There are house games organised at the festival, where you are randomly placed in one of three teams. This promotes an environment where it is easy to meet other festival-goers and accentuate the ‘we are all friends’ energy of the event. The event has only two stages: the Main Stage and the Kawakawa Stage. This makes for an intimate feel, different from bigger mainstream festivals. The Main Stage hosts the larger acts out in the open on the hill, whereas the Kawakawa Stage is smaller, nestled in a clearing amongst the trees of the venue. The music is described as “groovier and more underground” than other popular NY festivals. However, this year the line up boasts some fairly well known names such as Park Rd and Cruze Control – a band who hail from our very own Ōtepoti.

AUM has four stages, all of which seem pretty special. According to the organisers, “music is sacred”, and “Our dance-floors are our church.” With that in mind, their main stage (White Stag) sports a different musical theme each night as part of its psychedelic art showcase, has a massive mandala canopy, and is a space where shoes are optional. The Kānuka Stage plays house and techno, the Hub Stage is for live music and performance, and The Hill Stage plays DnB, bass, psytrance and psy-tech. That’s the ‘bush doof’ part of the festival, and has a tree-lined amphitheater. This is also a family friendly festival up until 10pm, in which the event organisers ask parents to have their children away from the stages. Under 18s also have to be accompanied by a parent or legal guardian for the entire festival, so you probably can’t bring your younger sibling along. AUM is also a completely waste free event, and is one of the cleanest events in Aotearoa.

GISBORNE RHYTHM AND VINES ($$$$) LENGTH: 1 day pre-party festival (for campers) + 3 days main festival (CAMP) DATE: Dec 28th - Dec 31st COST: $359 + booking fees (festival pass only) OR $179 + booking fees (single day). While some of the camps are currently sold out, they range from setting you back $480 to $539. We’d recommend the Rhythm Camp, which costs $539. LOCATION: Tairāwhiti, Waiohika Estate 2026 LINEUP HIGHLIGHTS: John Summit (debatable), KI/KI, Netsky, Friction, Luude, Mall Grab, Dave Dobbin, 1991, A Little Sound, Rova, Sachi (O-Week throwback),

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Two Faced, Sin & Brook, Osmosis Jones, Corella, Te Wehi and Hori Shaw Rhythm and Vines is one of the most talked about festivals of the year. Camping kicks the event off on the 28th, and it doesn’t stop until the 1st. Out of those that we talked to about the event, people reckoned the safety and music was on the better side of average, and that you had a pretty good chance of smuggling drugs in. However, attendees said camping was a real let down – but this is likely due to the absolute mud pit it was last year. We asked those who attended how they would describe RnV if it was a drug, genre of music and a piece of clothing. This totally showed the range of people this festival attracts. One person thought RnV could be summed up by “crack laced coke mixed with ket, bad and boring DnB, wife beaters and gumboots”, whereas another person says “flowery mini skirt and dlow pop!” It’s giving ballerina girlfriend and eshay farmer boyfriend. When asked if they’d go again, attendees had a range of opinions. Some would refuse to return “because I’d feel unc,” and “too old now”. Another said that they were “convinced that RnV exists only to provide a playground for smug uptight Aucklanders where they can slum it out before driving home in the Hilux daddy paid for”. Another person, who will be going for the fifth year in a row, says they’d absolutely go again: “Nothing beats the I l Love You Bro Hill. Being the first place to see the sun of the New Year is pretty unbeatable.” If you're a wannabe beezy or a breatha, RnV is your training ground before moving onto Castle Street. This is the final year RnV will be held in Gisborne, moving to an undisclosed location next year. If you’ve always wanted to go, now’s probably the time.

TAURANGA FAMOUS LAST WORDS LENGTH: 1 day Date: 31st Dec Cost: $149.00 (GA) 2026 LINEUP HIGHLIGHTS: Peking Duck, S.P.Y. with more TBC Location: Mount Maunganui, Mercury Baypark Arena. Famous Last Words is the biggest New Year festival in the Bay of Plenty area, with four stages and many well known international artists. Beginning in 2021, the festival picked up speed by focusing on electronic music. Expect garage, DnB and house music. This year they celebrate their 5th anniversary, and

AHUATANGA hint at a stacked lineup still to come. They’ve also got four stages for the first time, adding an outdoor stage for sunset viewing. This is definitely a much smaller festival than the others, which is why it’s so impressive they’ve managed to snag Peking Duk. If you haven’t seen them before, you should definitely go. Peking Duk is only playing at Famous Last Words this summer.

COROMANDEL Coro Classic ($$) LENGTH: 1 Day DATE: Jan 3rd COST: $199.90 for final release 2026 LINEUP HIGHLIGHTS: Culture Shock, Clean Bandit, Corella, Daily J, Flight Facilities, Delta Heavy, Marlins Dreaming, Savage, Park Rd LOCATION: Matarangi, Coromandel Peninsula. Coro Classic is the iconic summer beach festival! This one kicks off on the 3rd of January, and has like super beachy vibes (we think – we couldn’t find too much information on them). When describing the festival, one attendee summed it up as “LSD, dance funk, and cool sun glasses”, and talked about dancing in the sun, which is a massive highlight considering the rain last year. It’s important to note this is not a NYE festival – if you have to work over NY, see if you can get a day or two of leave after the mad minimum wage rush to pay a visit.

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RHYTHM AND ALPS ($$$) LENGTH: 2 days (camping) DATE: Dec 30th - Dec 31st COST: $350 (general admission). Camping passes start at $70. 2026 LINEUP HIGHLIGHTS: Fat Freddy’s Drop, Dimension, Lee Mvtthews, No Cigar (Dunedin) Wax Mustang, and Flowidus (Dunedin) LOCATION: Cardrona Valley, Robrosa Station. R&A is based just out of Wānaka in Cardrona Valley. The festival was originally hosted in a paddock in Terrace Downs in 2011 and 2012, but by 2013 it had shifted to Cardies. It’s been slowly gaining popularity due to its conspicuous lack of mud compared to its North Island counterpart. Most attendees we spoke to would go again, noting that it's cheaper than RnV, and easy to sneak stuff in. One camper mentions they got a free VIP camping upgrade for arriving early, with others saying that they loved the camping – although not at night time. People recommend bringing a warm jacket or a hoodie as it’s super cold, apart from one brave soul who described the festival uniform as “mini skirts and farmer shirts.” R&A has four stages – the Alpine Arena, Jeff, the Log Cabin, and the Red Bull Eclipse Stage. Alpine Arena is the main stage, where all the headliners play. Jeff is the Doof Cave, and “dark, sweaty and hypnotic… only the brave go all night.” The Log Cabin is, well, a log cabin. It’s described as small, steamy and pure chaos. The Red Bull Eclipse Stage is an all nighter stage, and doesn’t stop until sunrise. The defining feature of this festival is the Southern Alps. It’s incredibly beautiful, and as the organisers state “sunrise turns the peaks pink, the night sky glitters with stars, and the air feels as crisp as the beats rolling through the stages.” This is a nice change of theme (mountain festival core!) and pretty special to Aotearoa.

COBB VALLEY TWISTED FREQUENCY ($$$$) LENGTH: 5 days (camping) DATE: Dec 30th - Jan 3rd COST: $455 (Early Bird Quiet Camping) – $530 (Final Call Main Site) 2026 LINEUP HIGHLIGHTS: Om Unit, Grouch, Paige Julia, Isaac Chambers & Dub Princess. LOCATION: Upper Tākaka, Golden Bay. Twisted Frequency takes the cake for being the longest standing NYE festival in Aotearoa. Based in Golden Bay, it has 24/7 music across multiple stages and is a “holistic experience” – as anyone who has ever tried psychedelics will tell you. The kind of music Twisted is known for is psytrance and “psychedelic prog techno”,

AHUATANGA as one past attendee described to us (#whatdatmean). However, the festival points to a “twisting of the frequencies” being their whole thing. Living up to their name, Twisted Frequency hosts groups and artists “spanning the widest range of electronica”, with folk, metal, dubstep, rock, techno and all types of “weird and wonderful music.” There’s graffiti and mural artists who work through all hours, and the festival is known for embracing the circus arts. Expect fire and flow, especially from the Twisted Cabaret. There’s daily yoga sessions and keynote speakers, banana boogie dance workshops, addresses from tangata whenua, political figures and conservation experts. As one attendee said: “get your tits out, smoke a joint, sit back, and enjoy being at a festival without any breathas!” As we haven’t been to the festival ourselves, one attendee wrote in to tell us what to expect, which we have included in full in the following paragraph because it was awesome. “Twisted is the BEST bang for your buck - tickets are around the same price as R&A but the festy goes for FIVE WHOLE DAYS with FOUR WHOLE NIGHTS OF EPIC TUNES. Insane underground DJs, incredible bands. Imagine lying on the grass, hearing the trickle of the awa, the trees are breathing around you as rainbows ripple across the sky and incredible guitar pours out across the valley. Fucking stunning. Imagine. Being. In. A. Crowd and you have ROOM to DANCE. NOBODY IS PUSHING. EVERYONE IS POLITE. THERE IS NO GLASS. people KNOW their limits. Then you wake up, jam a swim in the beautiful clean river, maybe hit the sauna, go to a talk or a workshop, do some yoga, learn to pole dance or juggle, or just lax out and listen to sick as bands all day long."

CHRISTCHURCH LAKES FESTIVAL ($$$) Length: 1 day Date: Dec 28th Cost: $199.00 2026 LINEUP HIGHLIGHTS: Netsky, Mall Grab, Armand Van Helden, Oppidan, Ladi6, Lens, Sin & Brook, Rova, XClub LOCATION: Hagley Park, Christchurch. Lakes Festival kicks off for the sixth time, and is the place to go for electronic music. Lakes is great because it’s at Hagley Park, which is super central to Christchurch. It means you can skip all the worry or being in the middle of nowhere with no service and no way to get home. However, it’s definitely on the pricier side for a one day event. This year, they’ve managed to contract Armand Van Helden – you’ll know him. He sings You Don’t Know Me, Bonkers with Dizzee Rascal, and Barbra Streisand.

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Other headliners include Netsky and Mall Grab. In case you live under a rock, Netsky is huge on the DnB scene, playing at Coachella and collabing with Lil Wayne and David Guetta. Last year, Lakes Festival debuted the Racket Club – a hidden rave cave of underground electronic music. All around the festival, the organisers had hidden special cards marked with an X, ready for the attendees to find. These were the only way to gain access into the secret stage, and it’s looking pretty likely the Racket Club will be returning for 2026.

ROLLING MEADOWS ($$) LENGTH: 3 days (camping) DATE: Dec 29th - Dec 31st COST: 3 day passes range from $339.99 (presale) – $379.99 (second release) + $39.99 Camping Pass. 2026 LINEUP HIGHLIGHTS: Example, Clean Bandit, Andy C, Culture Shock, The Exponents, Friction, 1991, Alison Wonderland. LOCATION: On the edge of Bottle Lake Forest in Christchurch Rolling Meadows is a relatively young festival, first debuting in 2021. This year, there’s a stacked lineup, which is pretty impressive given how new on the scene it is. Rolling Meadows is notable for hosting the Duckbrewe Skateboarding Competition. Duckbrewe Brand erects a massive ramp, hosting competition heats, practice sessions and free skate events. Organisers explain that the crossover is super cool because they’ll have skaters perform in the event, then DJ the neighbouring stage, such as UK skater Dogger at Duckbrewe 4. They say “the skate crowd is part of the festival crowd. The music is part of the culture. Neither feels bolted on.” Keep an eye on their website for how to enter, and make sure you check the terms and conditions of Rolling Meadows to make sure you can bring your skateboard in. Rolling Meadows has also got two amusement rides inside the festival grounds, which is fucking awesome. However, one past attendee told us that you should be a bit careful, with the one ride going for “what felt like an hour of spinning round up and down full speed, while drunk, people vomiting off the ride into the queues…awful idea.” Something to keep in mind is that if you’re super drunk or super geared, a thrill ride looks like a good idea – but it’s definitely not. It’s one of those things that you should try at the start of the night, not the end. That being said, we’d definitely recommend Rolling Meadows over some of the bigger names. The lineup is great and the skateboard competition looks mean. ★

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TOP 11

RIIKI REID (NZ) Painaina

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Dolly Possum (Dn) Cow

GIG REVIEW -ACHTUNG! AN SMITH

PEARL DIVER - 02/10 A REVIEW BY ROW Hometown heroes Achtung! made their long-awaited return to the nest last Friday at Pearl Diver for - and tearing a night of angsty riffs vocals. Having made a name for themselves as an Ōtepoti-bred band since 2024, Achtung! left the local alternative scene at the start of this year to pursue “greater” things (Christchurch). But this change wasn’t the end for the post-punk rockers, who soon established themselves within the Ōtautahi scene, taking on two new Cantabrians to complete their dismembered (literally) lineup. Achtung! released their debut album ‘Spear in Fine View’ in August this year, plus the promise of a historic return to the Ōtepoti alternative scene, inviting local favourites U-no Juno and Emily Esplin band as openers. Emily Esplin set the bar for the night high with a truly powerful set. The grit and angst of her songwriting was only amplified by her accompanying band, allowing their impressively raw vocals to pierce through all the noise. With a half-time show guitar swap from acoustic to electric, Emily Esplin laid the foundations for a night of energetic, alternative rock with no shortage of jangly open-tuning riffs and explosive vocal performances. Following up were noise-punk/posthardcore specialists U-No Juno,

who tore through Pearl Diver’s brick walls with their 90’s-influenced erratic riffage and explosive drumming. Despite being a vocalist down, U-No Juno didn’t put on any less of a show, with a setlist comprised of songs off of their acclaimed 4EPS project as well as unreleased fan favourites (shoutout Condor44), even including a kinetic new song to close off the set. Mega. Then was the moment everyone and the people who’d just arrived had been waiting for - Achtung! Their set kicked off with their JoyceManor-esque album opener Pond Weather, (pearl) diving straight into their signature ‘emo-adjacent postpunk’ sound. A blend of crunchy altrock guitar and angelic lead melodies fused seamlessly with lead singer Jacob Stevenson’s soaring vocals, accentuating feelings of angst and yearning. The drums punched confidently through the jangle and fuzz while the bass danced fluidly along with the energetic crowd. Album singles New Dog, Old Tricks and Homesick were met with the kind of roaring cheers you hear when Pixies play Where Is My Mind, proving Achtung!’s notoriety in the Ōtepoti scene. This gig was one you should be bummed to have missed, and in the words of guitarist George Gearry, “Happy Achtober”.

read more @ r1.co.nz/blog

Becca Caffyn (Dn) Julia Roberts

GIG GUIDE

Achtung! (NZ)

THURSDAY 15TH

It Always Rains On Fridays

Out Of Luck!

‘Please Leave The TV On’ Ha the Unclear (NZ) Album Release Gig Cumberland Street w/ Phaedra Love, Hamish Waddell (Astigmatic)

Inch Bar - 7 pm

Louis Baker

‘Trouble’ Album Release Tour

Pearl Diver - 8 pm

FRIDAY 16TH Luna and the Aether ‘Metanoia’ Album Tour w/ Filth Wizard, Motheaten

Pearl Diver - 9 pm

SATURDAY 17TH

Tune in via our webstream or at 91.0FM or if you’re stuck in Dunners, volunteer with us! Either way, we’ll see you bac k on campus in 2027 xx www.r 1.co.nz/volunteer

HOMESICKK? (NZ) The World Atlas of Street Fashion

Sivle Talk (Dn) There’s An FBI Office In Wellington

Cruelly

w/ Grifthorse, U-No Juno

Pioneer Hall - 8 pm

High Alter

Bunchy’s Big Score (Dn)

Magnet

w/ Stef Animal, Finance

The Crown - 8 pm

Peter Jefferies

sloer (NZ) shame

w/ Heath Te Au, Serial Crush, Shakes, Sandra Bell

Pearl Diver - 8 pm

Alex Wolken

‘Weird Sky’ EP Release

Trident House - 8 pm

CRITIC MIGHT STOP PRINTING OVER SU BUT RADIO ONE'S AIRWAVES STILL MMER, THE BEST & FRESHEST IN ALTERNBLAST MUSIC FROM AOTEAROA AND BEYOND ATIVE SUMMMMERRRR LOOOONGGGG BABYALLLL !!!!!

Half/Angel (NZ) Bunny

Find more @ r1.co.nz/gig-guide!

Calla of Ursa (Dn) Purple Haze

mazagran hit picks

Out of Luck! (Dn) SUSPICION Dbldbl (NZ) Hotcakes

STREAM RADIO ONE!

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COME TO THE OUSA AGM Did our last general meeting get cancelled because not enough students showed up? Yes. Was it quite embarrassing? Also yes. Does OUSA represent Otago students? Yes. Does OUSA spend money on behalf of students? Yes. Is that money your money? Yes. Do students get to have a say in how that money is spent? Yes. Does this happen at the OUSA Annual General Meeting? Yes.

Wednesday 14th October 1pm Main Common Room* *Outside if weather permits

Is the AGM this Wednesday at 1pm? Yes. Is it in the Main Common Room, next to Union Hall (or outside by Union Lawn if the weather behaves itself)? Also yes. Will there be free food and other goodies to encourage you and your mates to come along? You know the answer by now (yes). The AGM is one of the few opportunities students have to directly question OUSA, have a say on what we're doing, and help shape where your student levy money is going next year. If you’ve ever wondered where the money goes, disagreed with something OUSA has done, or simply want to understand how the association works, this is your chance to ask questions. Have questions about the OUSA budget that you'd like answered ahead of time? Email Troy at finance@ousa.org.nz. Have more general questions about the AGM? Hit us upon instagram @ousaexec or email Kamesha at adminvp@ousa.org.nz, or me (Daniel) at president@ousa.org.nz.

MON 28 TH SEPT - SUN 18 TH OCT 2026

Or better yet, come along and ask them yourself.

Hyde St Tickets | Clean Collective | Squishies | Uggs

Let's chat. The OUSA AGM will be held in the Main Common Room, next to Union Hall, or outside by Union Lawn if the weather is good.

Vouchers from ... Kmart | Beam Me Up Bagels | Aart Hair Salon | Mecca | Burger Fuel | Chemist Warehouse | Sauna | Petrol | Auahi Ora | New World | And more!

Thanks, Daniel★

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Hot Girl Summer,

Karanga Mai Nā Heeni Koero Te Rerenoa – Ngāti Hine, Te Rarawa, Te Waiariki

If there’s one thing a Ngāpuhi likes, it’s arguing a case. Unfortunately for everyone else, I’ve always got one. With exam season looming, my attention has already wandered several weeks ahead. Right now, I’m dreaming about summer: long afternoons, baking in the sun, with nowhere particularly urgent to be, listening to 100% Ginuwine and 2000s pop on repeat. There is something about summer that makes life feel temporarily cinematic – the calendar finally loses all authority, and suddenly there’s enough time for all the things that have been sitting on the backburner. Maybe I’ll finally book that tennis lesson that’s been on my to-do list since moving to Dunedin, or devour the stack of books that have been waiting for a less chaotic week. Maybe it’ll look like road-trips to Central, getting absolutely smooched by the sun, and, hopefully, hovering over a new hobby or two. For now, though, I am (for the first time ever) less interested in accomplishing anything than I am in the fantasy of actually having the time to do it. The Sweet Escape To be fair, summer has always had an unfair advantage over the rest of the year. Winter, especially in Ōtepoti, is generally characterised by a multitude of deadlines, slightly gloomy mornings, and the dreaded suspicion that something is due. On the flipside, summer arrives with attitude and the audacity to suggest that everything might finally be easy. Last year, in pursuit of anything that isn’t easy, I made it my life’s mission to save up, ditch the Dunner Stunners and chase the snow in the Northern Hemisphere for six weeks.

The kind of list that makes almost zero practical sense and therefore feels infinitely more thrilling. Places to go, things to eat, things to learn, things to wear, things to do purely because they sound fun. And if half of it never happens, so be it. The point is having something to look forward to. There is something sickly sweet about creating your own little world and then deciding, for a few months, to just live in it. Pocketful of Sunshine We spend most of the year trying to squeeze ourselves into schedules, routines and five-year plans. But perhaps it is not so outrageous to spend a few months being a little less efficient. Maybe the real luxury of the post-exam season is the reality of not having somewhere to be. The irony, of course, is that summer never actually lasts as long as you think it will. Between graduation, Christmas and New Year’s, moving flats and, the whole thing can, and probably will, disappear in a heartbeat. Somehow, although the season feels endless in October, suddenly it’ll be January and you’ll be wondering where the fuck the time went. Which makes the fantasy of an endless summer all the more appealing, because we know perfectly well that if you blink, it’ll all be over. That is what it should be, really. Not a reinvention (though it’s always a given), and certainly not another project to fill the productivity void. Personally, I want to enjoy the fact that it is temporary. I want a summer that feels slightly excessive in the way that they used to: long enough to forget what day it is, warm enough to stay outside too late, and full enough of possibility that even the stupid ideas sound worth trying. The Rest is Still Unwritten For once, I am not particularly interested in making the next chapter impressive. Because perhaps the nicest thing about looking ahead is knowing that nothing has happened yet. The summer is still sitting there, completely untouched, waiting to become whatever it becomes. And for now, isn’t it just nice to not know what lies ahead?

Long Live The Question ★

This year, though, I’ve decided to make the sweet escape feel deliberate. Summer should feel less like the end of one year or the beginning of another, and more like the summers we grew up with: something with its own soundtrack, the vague belief that absolutely anything could happen before February, and an unnecessarily ambitious list of things to do.

Illustrated by n Stella Caulto

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By Swig60

Leonardo Da Vinci has the Mona Lisa. Beethoven has Symphony No. 9. And Leigh Hart has got Snackachangi chips, ig. It’s just unfortunate that they come paired with their wet drip of a brother: Wakachangi beer. Even more unfortunately, that’s what we’re reviewing today. Flies like a chicken, tans like an albino, and tastes like a Dobro. This. Shit. Sucks. Picture this: your ket-addict flatmate has pissed himself once again, and the chore chart is saying that it's your turn to lick his bedsheets clean. We would rather do that than drink one of these. At least there might be some ket residue in his piss. There are even rumours circulating that Daniel Leamy is fleeing on exchange due to a close encounter with a Wakachangi. This encounter is not to be confused with the shit yarn printed on the can, which we actually quite like. Props to the marketing team behind that. In fact, the branding may be Wakachangi’s greatest achievement: it successfully distracts from the fact that, eventually, you have to open the can and take a sip. The bottom read: “We could describe Wakachangi’s subtle aromas, crisp flavours, and age-old beer brewing process…” Yep, age old is about right, because these are mustier than an octogenarian’s orgy. Yes, we know what that smells like. Have you not been to Carousel?

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To give Wakachangi the Booze Review it deserves: it tastes like beer. Not good beer. Not even particularly bad beer that's bad in an interesting way. Just beer that has somehow acquired the flavour of already being warm despite coming directly out of the fridge. It’s the sort of drink you crack open, take one sip of, then spend the next hour strategically abandoning the rest of the box on random windowsills. We’d like to clarify that none of us wanted to spend money on a box of these. So we didn’t. Just like shit’s better left in air fryers, Wakachangi’s are better left at the host – and that’s exactly how we acquired them. Which is probably pretty telling. In summary: didn’t buy, won’t buy. But just like American senators – we can be bribed, and we remain open to sponsorships. And with that, Swig60 hangs up the bottle opener. Thank you to all our readers throughout the year (who are probably just the slim minority of BCom breathas who can read and med students who can drink). We appreciate all your support. It’s been great fun coming together as a flat to write one of these every two weeks (except for the times we didn’t). Special shoutout to the editors who kept us in check. These reviews would’ve sounded far more drunk and probably gotten us kicked out of uni if it weren’t for you. [Editors note: This is very, very true]. Before we go, we’d like to leave you all with some parting wisdom: Floats like a butterfly, stings like a bee. Haha, you freshers aren’t getting first year free. ★

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The reality of your time at uni being over is hitting. It’s time to hide under your bed as you ask yourself for the first time if you really want to leave. It’s a hard reality to accept, but don’t be afraid. Maybe in this next stage of life your bedroom won't be overgrown with mould. Your holiday tradition: 12 days of shots

Your flat may be a teeny weeny bit cursed. As the ghosts of students past roam the drafty hallways, sleeping is going to be difficult. Every step feels like it may be your last. So tuck your toes under the covers tonight, or Gary from toefinder.com may find them! Your holiday tradition: Hanging cobwebs on the tree

It’s time to start thinking about Halloween. The ageold question remains: do you go mainstream with an overdone cliché group outfit, or do you commit to that niche, cool costume at the risk of absolutely no one guessing your costume? Your holiday tradition: Putting on a sibling talent show

It’s officially your last chance to strike up a conversation with that lecturer who just so happens to be of beekeeping age. Do it before your timetable changes and your chances of getting leniency for a late submission (that you so desperately deserve) disappear! Your holiday tradition: Chaotic lunch with your extended family

Feeling caged in? Pull out the map, and start planning your next hike through the mountains. Just make sure to pack plenty of sunscreen, stock up on snacks, and message your mum to let her know you’re going MIA for a few days so she doesn't file a missing person report. Your holiday tradition: KFC for dinner

As exam season rolls around, the latest strain of flu is making a lovely home for itself on the second floor of the library. Please stop spreading it. If you have a sniffle, stay in your room. Nobody wants whatever strain of Covid you’ve caught. In this case, sharing is not caring. Your holiday tradition: Making VERY strong eggnog

Is summer lovin’ coming your way? During this time of the year, people naturally grow closer together. Like magnets, you’ll be drawn to someone and won't be able to get them out of your head. See if that spark can turn into a blazing fire – all signs point to yes! Your holiday tradition: Ultimate backyard cricket matches

Chica! You gotta tell your therapist what’s wrong, because you have never been in such deep sorrows. Communication is key, so trade in that free AI therapist for a real human one. Let them help you get your stress all out before life completely breaks you. Your holiday tradition: Hiding from the Krampus

Watch those expiry dates on your leftovers closely, as I foresee the worst case of food poisoning Otago has ever seen. Heed my warning: your stomach will thank you, and so will the people you share a bathroom with. Your holiday tradition: Hitting a vape in your grandparent’s bathroom

The burnout is real. You haven’t done anything but stare at your laptop recently, and anytime you try to take a mental health break, guilt consumes you for not studying. Don’t worry! Even if it doesn't feel like it, you are almost free to hit the Octagon and get vodka drunk! Your holiday tradition: Extra fun walk with your cousins

You’ve been a little hard on yourself recently, and it’s time to loosen up. Trust me, the friend group divorce was not your fault. What’s important is that now you have more time to doomscroll, and you don't have to listen to their latest venture into friendscest. Your holiday tradition: Hiding in your room

Panic has set in as you count down the days until your first exam. It’s time to wear every single lucky charm you own and knock on every piece of wood. Heaven forbid any negative vibes rub off on your exam sheet and ruin your C streak. Your holiday tradition: Playing thumbwars to see who gets to put the star up

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NEWS

KARERE

Enrol to vote by October 25th!

The lineup for the final Twisted Frequency has been announced, with Truth, Tom Scott & Brandn Shiraz and Daedalus headlining.

The Otago Students Geological Society is holding a Geology Photography Competition. Entries are due on the 23rd of October, check out their Instagram @otago_rocks for more details.

Come along to the OUSA AGM on the 14th of October, 1PM in the Main Common Room. Help the Exec meet quorum this time!

You can now take the bus between Dunedin and Ōamaru! If you don’t have a car and are looking for an excuse to ditch town, go check out the Steampunk Museum and penguins instead of studying.

Critic wishes you all the best for exams – you’ve got this.

It’s OUSA Mental Health Awareness Week! Check out the OUSA socials to see what’s happening on campus this week.

At last week’s Election Leaders Debate, an undecided voter panel gave Chris Hipkins the win – 44% for Chippy, 24% for Luxon and 27% still undecided.

East of Eden has been released on Netflix. You may recognise some filming locations from right here in Dunedin!

DON'T BURN COUCHES

Otago made it to the NPC quarter final! The game is happening after we print, so don’t expect us to update you. Fingers crossed they won.

OPEN 7 DAYS Phone 03 425 9487 www.themaharajas.co.nz 735 Great King Street, North Dunedin

$16 CURRY – SUNDAY NIGHT TAKEAWAY SPECIAL $17.90 STUDENT WEEKLY TAKEAWAY DEAL BIRTHDAY SPECIAL – FREE MAIN *please vist our website for T&Cs

STUDENT BYO DEAL

JULIET CARPENTER: HEAVEN'S BLADE

10.10.26 — 21.02.27

FREE: OPEN 10AM–5PM DAILY 30 THE OCTAGON DUNEDIN WWW.DUNEDIN.ART.MUSEUM DEPT. OF DUNEDIN CITY COUNCIL

JULIET CARPENTER Heaven’s Blade 2026 (film still). Courtesy of the artist. Heaven’s Blade is presented as two unique exhibitions premiering concurrently at Dunedin Public Art Gallery and Te Whare Toi o Heretaunga Hastings Art Gallery over the summer of 2026-27.