Madeleine deRegnier 17 Maggie Karlin

I \tr/as Too Proud

by Madeleine deRegnier

I was too proud to be feeding tube girl. The hospital is a laxative. MagCit'll clean you out, burning your insides all the while. And there's sunken-eyed me, looking like death, eyes so deep in my sockets I can hide under my brows. Silence and crackling Nutrigrain wrappers Cemented to the couches. Vitamins taste like disease, but I still hate them. My crunchy brown hair falling onto my plate wafting cheddar. Not my plate. I'm letting the grease swallow my mouth; what more can you want from me? And I knew I'd be sittin' here one breakfast, jeans strangling my legs, just sitting here and I got this huge, glaring plate. I see hers; it's got less, and my jealousy feasts. I just wanna starve, that way I don't hurt. Soothing knives of hunger in my unfed belly. 'Cause it's content that makes the mind go to hell. I d take this straw floating in my chocolate Ensure and gag up my organs onto this plate. Give me some Xanax, I'm only fourteen. Il me tue, de me voir cette graisse. On my knobby knees begging to starve and now face down on my bed like a rock its egg-crate reeks yellow, like some sort of microbe. I'm not making a scene. I'm no less of a freak. And when I fake it to discharge papers, I swear, not a crumb'til there's bones, and no fat and no mind and a heart rate of none.

At The Intersection Of Two

I stand at the intersection of two Twisted, knotted, Racked, jagged threads. Three, ifyou count the one Buried like pirate treasure in r96o's Missouri adoption records. My people have crossed oceans On English tall ships, Russian steamers Fled poverty, pogroms to bring Me here.

So when Papa grumbles About howyou can't trust schvcrtses, Uses words like "colored," I think of colors.

I think that the blood

by ]ack Cramer

Lapped by leather-tongued hate on deep south plantations, Spilled by his brother on tiny pinhead pacific rocks, Mixed into funeral clouds over Bergen-Belsen, Dachau, Auschwitz, That dyed Amma's lips red as she kissed the gash in my frightened, Five-year-old, Hebrew-curled head

Was all the same color, All the same shade of human. And I think that my threads

Are just the frayed edge Of a 4 r/z billion year long Rope.

Silence

by Emma Bell

I come from a family of silence Because silence is silver and nothing is ever good enough to be golden.

I come from a family of closed doors, Closed doors and picked locks to catch a glimpse of each other's lives.

I come from a family where the stain of fallen tears, Burns more than the oven, heating up a meal for one

I come from a family of avoiders, Avoiding each other's blank faces and cold stares that chill water faster than blocks of ice ever could.

I come from a family of regrets, Regrets left on the kitchen counter in the form of wine corks and expensive glasses. I come from a family of misfts, Covering their past with nice clothes and hair dye, but roots show through.

I come from a family of forced ideas, Where I fail when succeeding not to follow their skittish tracks.

I come from a family of ignored calls and disregarded notes, And eyes that roll faster than a track runner in a wheelchair.

Last D.parture

by Alex Schulze

Thus he arrived blocking out the sun They fired upon him but no guns could harm him Take off your helmet in dead space I can still smell your breath for Christmas I'll get you toothpaste This planet is such a wasted vacation Blast of nuclear radiation Sorrow of a violent nonverbal communication Once able to touch like Stephen Hawking Once juicy and delicious tastes sour as gum on the sidewalk Until the door locks the key like Alice in Wonderland fantasy Tear out my eyes so that I can see I hear the water molecules rushing through the air I've seen light blue skies and white clouds Crystal mountains rolling hills and green valleys The dark crooked twists and turns of Chicago alleys Klaatu Barada Nikto Michael Moore's documentary Sicko

Hypothermic dying of heat in the dead of winter Can't afford shoes frozen feet isn't it neat The world that we live in the land of the free the place I've been given Like Will Smith in Hancock I'll fly to the moon and back Stamp a heart on the moon old decrepit heartless Beaten down by Care Bears lost expression and blank stares Just like Arnold Schwarzenegger in the first Terminator I'm just another Human hater just like Axel as he fought vampires up in the castle Like Castlevania Dracula just can't handle Ohaio Govaimasu turtles finish last night's pizzabt:l. Master Splinter No buts we got a hint of where to find Shredder He's kidnapped April O'Neal we better go get her Dr. Smith never trusts anyone especially me Danger Will Robinson it's a catastrophe Gort prepare the ship I'm leaving this earth no coming back Like reincarnation no rebirth and I won't be the first

byAdriana Miranda 2t

Redhead

by Raven Hogue

Your thirsty fingers play hide and seek at the hem of her skirt Baring her poison for everyone to see The joints in your knees are boulders falling in an avalanche Crackling as they bounce offyour drunken bones Slurring, you say your wife is a red head who wears a brown dress That shies away from the pinched slopes of her hips Crackles underneath the air's knuckles I think of your kids You tickling Nicholas until his cheeks turn into frail apples Or pressing your moustache into the skin over Steve's navel and blowing Now you can't spend time with them without your wife's judgment cradling your breath I watch you slumped over a cooler What a selfish man Lives every day under the influence Never stops to think about the influence he has over his children When your daughters look at you their conscience is the wet Crawling over the doorstep of their eyelids Staple them guilty

And on those holidays and birthdays When a little child's laughter slapsyour eardrums Slash yellow paint across their lips Scratch CRIME SCENE DO NOT CROSS in the soft curves of their irises You keep pulling at the rim of that redhead's lips Licking at the years lost between you and your oldest son Lorenzo 34 of those years drip down her glass cheeks She fathers your son Tells him to get a red head that can feed the bodywhen it is hungry Quiet the pain when it hurts too loud But she forgot to mention she is the reason your belly is swollen And that your bad days are only harder because she doesn't listen When you tell her howyou feel Now I hear Lorenzo holds his redhead tight around the hips peels back her brown dress winces at her smart perfume and smiles at the word VODKA Tattooed on her chest