MN Exposed - Bathroom Humor Book

-Exposed-

Minnesota

Minnesota.

“So quiet, you could almost hear a pun drop.”

“Minnesota Nice?”

This bathroom humor book contains insights into Minnesota’s passive - aggressive communication style. Learn to better understand and speak the language of “Minnesota Nice.”

by Dr. Jody Janati

Minne “SORTA” Nice Messages

Denying Placating Keeping Score Sabotaging Withdrawing Self-Deprecation Emotional Restraint Aversion to Direct Confrontation Disinclination to Stand Out Resistance to Change Deliberate Procrastination Leaving Someone Out Intentional Mistakes Hiding Criticism as a Compliment Resenting Another’s Demands Ignoring or Saying Nothing Backhanded Complimenting Kiss then Slap Wistful Statements Threat-Based Questioning Tendency to Understate

“Minnesota Nice” Message “At least you tried” Exposed “That’s right, you’re a hot mess!”

Example Jens: [at the St. Paul Saints game] “Hey Max, did you get the hole in the roof of your pole barn fixed?”

Max: “Well, I got up there to do it, but I used the wrong nails and the whole roof caved in when it snowed!”

Jens: “At least you tried.” [bites into his Von Hanson’s bratwurst]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Interesting”

Exposed “I am super uncomfortable with this topic and have no idea what to say, so please stop talking!”

Example Theodore: “Hey Theolene come here, you won’t believe this! There is a dead moose on the side of the wood shed by the road!”

Theolene: “That’s interesting.” [she heads off in the opposite direction on her cross country skis]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “For crying out loud” Exposed “If I want something done right, I should just do it myself! You are never any help anyway!”

Example Albert: [looking in the frig] “Oh shucks! It looks like I forgot to close the cover on the leeches again.”

Sally: “Oh, for crying out loud!”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Doesn’t look bad” Exposed “I totally disagree. It looks way worse than you think, but at least I sound positive about it.”

Example Aaron: “Doesn’t my Packers shrine look neat?

My girlfriend thinks it’s pretty nifty!”

Gus: “Well, it doesn’t look bad.”

[Skol Vikes]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Once you…you will” Exposed “You have a lot to learn so it’s understandable why you might feel inferior in my presence!”

Example Cliff: “My gun keeps jamming.”

Father: “Once you site in your rifle and practice shooting at the gravel pit you will have a better handle on that thing!” [turns around to go all ‘MacGyver’ on the tree branches with his chainsaw]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “You said” Exposed “Yes, I am calling you a liar!”

Example Pauline: “Did you put that dessert tray away already? I would have had one of those Pearson’s salted nut rolls!”

Penelope: “You said you were on a diet!”

Pauline: [feels guilty overall and starts personally identifying with the Pillsbury Dough Boy]

Minnesota Nice” Message “Hope I’m not” Exposed “I know I am actually! I do that!”

Example Donny: “… and we’re back on the air here at MyTalk 107.1!”

Julia: “I hope I’m not pronouncing this wrong, but it says here that Minnesota is known for its taco night!?”

Lori: [reaching for Julia’s copy of the Minneapolis Star Tribune] “I hope I’m not sounding harsh Julia, but really? I’m pretty sure that says Minnesota taconite!”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “No wonder why” Exposed “That is just plain idiotic!”

Example Wallace: [bullshitting with Warren at a Timberwolves game] “Can you believe Tim asked me to exchange a walleye for his perch?”

Warren: “No wonder why they say those southerners are so slow!”

Wallace: “Yeah, they’d probably take a crappy crappie too!” [belly laughs all around]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Just realized”

Exposed “I don’t want to look like ‘captain obvious’ here, so I’ll just act like I had a spontaneous thought and that way I will stay out of trouble.”

Example Colin: “I just realized how late it is. I think I’ll go for a quick run.”

Colleen: “Ok, be careful and don’t forget to stretch!”

Colin: [there is no stretching required for a Schmidt’s beer run]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Uff dah” Exposed “This task I am attempting is difficult. Grunting helps.”

Example Roy: [out trapping with his buddy] “Would you be willing to drive me to the Veterans Hospital for my annual check-up this Friday?”

Ralph: “That should work, but uff dah, once we get close to ‘the cities’ you’ll have to drive.”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Don’t mind” Exposed “Please don’t judge me in the same way I think you are judging my friend right now!”

Example Ida: [at the Ordway Center] “Nice to see you!”

Ilene: “You too. [gives a look over towards her other friend Mable] Don’t mind her; she didn’t have time to do her hair and this humidity is a bugger!”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Why you shouldn’t do that” Exposed “You showed a clear lack of intelligence with that move.

Lesson learned = Don’t be a boner!!”

Example Lars: “I was out grouse hunting this weekend and locked my keys and phone in the truck and ended up having to walk home without a flashlight!”

Gill: “Well, I guess that’s why you shouldn’t do that.”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Listen” Exposed “I am done talking about this topic and made a choice to respond to you with an irrelevant comment in order to demonstrate the insignificance of this conversation.”

Example Hazel: “How many times do we need to go over this, I am certain it is duck, duck, grey duck and not duck, duck, goose!”

Hank: “Listen, would you like me to call the MN Department of Natural Resources to find out?”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Different” Exposed “I am uncomfortable with this topic and have no idea how I should respond to your comment right now.”

Example Phyllis: “So, little Wally gave up his hockey hair for that new gothic style. He’s wearing the full makeup now.”

Peg: “That’s different.” [pours more maple syrup on her blueberry waffles]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “May want to consider” Exposed “Just to be clear, this is me telling you that you need to seriously do what I just said, rather than simply ‘consider’ it!”

Example Arthur: “Did I tell you I’m running in that Medtronic Twin Cities Marathon in a couple of weeks?”

Allen: “You may want to consider laying off of the Surly beer and cheese curds!”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “What happens when” Exposed “You dumb ass!”

Example Theo: “Help me!” [stuck standing in his moon boots and ear muffs] Ilene: “That’s what happens when you stick your tongue to an ice sculpture at the Winter Carnival!”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Sometimes” Exposed “This is the way it is, so deal with it!”

Example New teacher from the east coast: “I can’t believe there are only three days of school this week!”

Josephine: [adjusting her long johns] “Well it is deer season, sometimes things work differently around here.”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “What do you do” Exposed “I couldn’t care less!

Shut your pie hole!”

Example Hal: “Ora is giving me the silent treatment because you and I hit the snowmobile trails yesterday!”

Harold: “What do you do?” [bites into his pasty] Hal: “Can you believe she thought I was going to put on her snow tires and fix the sauna on a game day?”

Harold: [repeats] “What do you do?”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Oh dear/Oh darn/Oh my/Oh heck” Exposed “This just might be the worst thing that has ever happened to me!”

Example June: “I am so sorry to tell you this, but no one bought any of your lemon bars at the church bake sale this weekend.”

Pearl: “Oh dear!”

June: “Those honey crisp apples sure paid off though; both pans of my apple crisp sold!”

Pearl: [sighs with defeat thinking, I’m no Betty Crocker]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Not going there” Exposed “I’m faking a tough stance so you won’t see how I’m really just trying to avoid discussing this issue altogether.”

Example Helen: “Nice to run into you. I was just picking up Walt’s wool pants from the drycleaners.”

Marsha: “So Walt is stuck working weekends now as the new Zamboni driver over at the hippodrome huh?”

Helen: “I’m not going there!”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Not…are you” Exposed “I know this is a bad time so please pretend to care because I need your help and don’t know how to ask for it directly.”

Example PHONE RINGS Gordon: “Yah, hello there?”

Gene: “I know the Vikes are on, but you’re not busy are you?”

Gordon: “It’s just the Monday night game with the Packers.”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Would have been nice if… would have” Exposed “I hope you realize you are a complete failure!”

Example Irma: “Lyle, It would have been nice if you would have cleaned out the gutters this weekend.

There are leaves piling up everywhere!”

Lyle: [sighs loudly as he heads to the shed for the leaf blower] Irma: “…and we need to shrink wrap our windows one of these weekends too!”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Get home and clean” Exposed “My cleaning lady comes tonight so I better clean up before she tells everyone I am a complete slob!”

Example Gladys: “Are you joining us for Jell-O salad and coffee after church?”

Glenda: [sipping her Caribou Coffee] “I can’t. I have to get home and clean.”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Sure, no problem”

Exposed “Please tell me you are kidding!

You know, it is easier for me to agree to behavior I can’t say no to, than confront it directly.”

Example Bea: “Oh no! Butch, are you leaving right now? I forgot to pick up those minnows you wanted from the bait shop. You and the boys will have to stop and get them on your way to the lake if they’re still open.”

Butch: “Sure, no problem.”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Not racist/sexist/ageist, but”

Exposed “Actually I am exactly what I just claimed I am not! I’m hoping you don’t notice or get offended by it either!”

Example Fred: [on the way to get some skates sharpened] “Watch out for that pickup truck there Felix!”

Felix: “I’m not a sexist, but have you seen the way these women drive; they hit every pothole on the road!”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Original thought” Exposed “You just might have a couple of screws loose because people in their right minds don’t think like that!”

Example Rick: “…and so that is why I think the Jolly Green Giant would totally defeat Paul Bunyan in a curling match!”

Ramona: [pulling up her leg warmers] “What an original thought.”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “On sale” Exposed “You bought the cheap one!”

Example Rosemary: “I just love my new washing machine from Best Buy!” Ruth: “Indeed. Was it on sale?”

Rosemary: [thinks about taking a big gulp of the liquid detergent]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “To each, their own” Exposed “Obviously most sane people would never do or say what you just did or said!”

Example Denny: [burning the brush pile] “So, we finally decided on those Valspar paint colors and we’re going to paint the house yellow and green!”

Donald: “To each, their own.” [chucks the canoe on the trailer]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “A little”

Exposed “It helps my stress level to down play any and all of the extremes in my life.”

Example Neighbor: “Hey Gustafson, did you hear they’re expecting a 50 below windchill tonight?”

Gustafson: “Yeah, I got the wood stove all fired up; looks like it’s going to be a little chilly.”

Neighbor: “Listen, we’re having a little porketta for lunch if you and the wife want to come over.”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Could be worse” Exposed “I don’t want you to feel sorry for me. Wait. Yes, I really need you to feel sorry for me actually.”

Example Vern: “I heard that you recently lost your job and health benefits over there at the mine!”

Victor: “Yeah, it could be worse.” [sinks into his camouflage jacket]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Nothing…just thinking”

Exposed “Thanks a lot, my whole world is collapsing around me and you haven’t even acted like you noticed, let alone care!”

Example Willard: [sitting at the Orpheum Theatre] “You’re being pretty quiet there, something wrong?”

Wanda: “Oh, nothing, I’m just thinking.” […of the kids and their negative comments about my meatloaf]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Fine” Exposed “I personally subscribe to this acronym when I say ‘fine:’ I am Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional!”

Example Ed: “I heard about you going through the ice on Red Lake with your brand new Arctic Cat. How are you?”

Ernie: [chewing on some deer jerky] “I’m fine.”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Wish…would have” Exposed “Just so you know we didn’t [fill in the blank] because of YOU and I am pissed!”

Example George: “That sure was a quick trip to Lake Vermilion. Sorry I got home so late from work on Friday!”

Geraldine: “Yeah, I wish we would have had more time to enjoy the weekend with the kids.” [we didn’t even have time for a double scoop ice cream cone you bastard]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Are you going” Exposed “What don’t you understand about the fact that you need to do this already!”

Example Floyd: “Hey, do we have any Schell’s beer left? The Twins home opener is about to start!”

Fern: [making a seven layer salad] “So, are you going to shovel today Floyd or what?”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Been on vacation” Exposed “I’ve noticed you are obviously avoiding me and now I have a serious bone to pick with you!”

Example Alberta: “I thought I might run into you at the Renaissance Festival again this year; it’s been a while since we’ve seen each other!”

Annette: “It sure has. Have you been on vacation?”

Alberta: [swinging her turkey leg] “Aren’t Puke and Snot a hoot?”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Do realize” Exposed “Actually, how could you not realize? It’s so blatantly obvious to anyone with half a brain!”

Example Wayne: “I am kinda in the mood for a peanut buster parfait right now.”

Wilma: “Yes, a dilly bar would really hit the spot. You do realize our Dairy Queen is closed in the winter right?”

Wayne: [feeling belittled] “I’ll see if we have some Schwan’s ice cream left in the frig!”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “No need to get” Exposed “I would never behave like you, but please know I secretly enjoy watching you lose it when I am so calm and poised!”

Example Myra: [heading to Target] “Seriously, how hard is it to zipper merge on the crosstown?”

Myrtle: “You make a good point, but there is no need to get upset now.”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “I am coming” Exposed “I am intentionally procrastinating to irritate the hell out of you right now!”

Example Darlene: “Dale, we’re gonna be late for the Friday night fish fry at Mille Lacs!”

Dale: “One minute; I’m coming!” [slowly sorting through the new items in his tackle box]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Thought you knew” Exposed “I did not want to share this information with you and I also happen to know that omission is a great way to manipulate you.”

Example Matilda: “Why didn’t you tell me the gals were doing a girl’s weekend at Canterbury Park and Valley Fair over the fishing opener?”

Millie: [drinking a 1919 root beer] “What? I thought you knew!”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “I can do that” Exposed “Are you kidding me? What gave you that brilliant idea? I seriously don’t have time to do that for you!”

Example Harvey: “Could you wash my Wild jersey before I head to the Xcel Center with Hugh for the game tonight? I spilled tater tot hot dish all over it.”

Hilda: “Yes, I can do that.”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Have an interview” Exposed “Why are you dressed up today; you usually dress like such a hobo!”

Example Delbert: “Nice new Carhartts you got on there Earl! Do you have an interview today?”

Earl: “No, why do you ask?”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Didn’t realize” Exposed “I messed up and am playing dumb because claiming ignorance is something you allow me to do without any real consequence.”

Example Melvin: “Honey, we’re heading out to the hunting shack for the weekend. Did you get me those wool mitts from Winona Knits we talked about?”

Marla: “I didn’t realize you needed them for deer season!”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Not that upset” Exposed “If you knew anything about me, you would know that I am raging right now!”

Example Bruce: “I’m sorry Carl made that negative comment about your casserole.”

Bernice: “I’m not that upset, really.” [that’s probably why I’ll never work for a place like General Mills either]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Don’t worry”

Exposed “I would worry actually! There may even come a time when you need to freak the freak out!”

Example Elmer: “Val never called me back so it looks like I’ll be playing pull tabs with you guys at the meat raffle tonight.”

Eugene: “Don’t worry; there are a lot of women who like husky men.

You’ll find someone.” […and maybe you should lay off of the Nut Goodie bars in general]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “It was a joke!”

Exposed “Shoot! What I just said was clearly offensive, and I needed a way to get myself out of the conversation!”

Example Marty: [cleaning his rifle] “Jeez, those cheese head Packer fans sure are jerks!”

Mark: “My brother is a jerk, are you calling him a Packer fan?”

Marty: “It was a joke!”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Too spendy”

Exposed “No one would ever consider buying that; who spends that much anyway?”

Example Dolores: [at the Guthrie Theater] “Do you like my new Domer Bag Duluth Pack? It’s made from the collapsed Metrodome roof? I found it at an estate sale in St. Paul last weekend for only $200!”

Daisy: “Your taste is too spendy for me!”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Just couldn’t” Exposed “Yes, of course I could, so move aside and let me at it now!”

Example Clarice: “There’s a little more blueberry pie here if you’d like it.”

Charlene: “Oh no, I just couldn’t, but thank you so much.” [sneaks a few forkfuls when Clarice turns away to get more coffee]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Not too good of a deal” Exposed “You just got screwed!”

Example Howard: [drinking a beer in the garage] “I just bought these vintage Prince and Dylan albums at a garage sale for $100 a piece.”

Herbert: “That was not too good of a deal.”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “I’ll have to think about that” Exposed “You need to drop that idea immediately because there is no way in hell ‘that’ is going to happen!”

Example Judith: “I was thinking we should move to Wisconsin and open one of those fudge and cheese shops. Wouldn’t that be fun to own a gift shop?”

Vernon: [loading the cooler for the weekend] “I’ll have to think about that.”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Get right on it” Exposed “Listen, there is no way I am going to do it so you need to cease and desist already!”

Example Eleanor: “I was thinking we should run maroon and gold Christmas lights all around the perimeter of our house this year to really show our holiday spirit!”

Ernest: [eating his smoked trout] “I’ll get right on it.”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Should think about” Exposed “Just do it already fool! My request is not that difficult to accomplish!”

Example Agnes: “Being that it’s May, maybe you should think about moving the snowmobiles off of the front lawn!”

Arvie: “Let’s wait awhile; I am thinking it might snow one more time.”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Nice to meet you” Exposed “Goodbye! Let’s hope I don’t ever get stuck having to entertain you again!”

Example Arlene: “…and this year I ate some spaghetti on a stick at the MN State Fair. Pretty neat concept right?”

Larry: [bored out of his gourd] “Nice to meet you, but I better get home; we’re heading to Brainerd this weekend.”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “A lotta guys” Exposed “You are a complete meat head and clearly lack all common sense!”

Example Lester: “Thanks for visiting me in the trauma center Lloyd. The hospitals these days are pretty high tech hey?”

Lloyd: “You know a lotta guys might turn the snow blower off before putting their hand in it to remove ice!”

Lester: [nods in agreement as he pushes down hard on his pain button]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Some weather” Exposed “Remind me why we live in this God forsaken tundra of a land!”

Example Eustace: [checking the mail wearing his snowshoes] “Some weather we’re having!”

Rodney: “Ya sure; ya betcha!” [he slips and falls on his sidewalk]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Don’t know about that” Exposed “You are completely wrong and you need to shut the hell up before I lose it!”

Example Bert: “Even though the North Stars are in Dallas, they still feel like a Minnesota team to me.”

Billy: “I don’t know about that.” [it’s not like any of us feel the Timber Wolves belong in Alaska]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Not from around here” Exposed “You just said or did something that is completely unacceptable in Minnesota!”

Example Jerry: “I’ve never eaten venison before, does it taste like chicken?”

Judd: “You’re not from around here, are you?” [drinking a Bent Paddle]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Jeez” Exposed “You might want to consider vacating the state now, because no Minnesotan would ever do or say what you just did or said!”

Example Southerner: [slipping on the ice] “Whoa, I am skating like a girl here today!”

Milfred: “Oh jeez!” [we don’t say things like that here without getting schooled] Go Gopher Women’s Hockey!

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Do me a favor” Exposed “You need to knock it up a notch! ...and there will be a price to pay if you do not comply!”

Example Marcy: “I realize you are leaving for your fishing trip in a few minutes, but can you do me a favor?”

Chuck: “Of course.” [after all, I want to enjoy a guilt-free weekend]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “You bet” Exposed “I disagree/don’t care/wasn’t listening, but don’t worry, I will be nice and agree with you anyway.”

Example Norma: “Would you like to hear how we prepared that last batch of lutefisk?”

Finnegan: “You bet, let me just grab a couple three more beers first.”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Can’t complain” Exposed “I could complain if pressed for more details, so this is your one and only chance of not having to hear about it.

Choose wisely!”

Example Ronald: [standing under a popple tree] “So, I heard your favorite fishing rod got stolen from the boat house last night.”

Eric: “Yeah, I can’t complain; the boat is still there!”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Can if you want” Exposed “I am trying to confuse you with doublespeak so I can avoid this conversation altogether.”

Example Sylvia: [sitting on her four wheeler] “Do you need any help with the hockey fundraiser?

I think I could find more volunteers for you.”

Shirley: “No, but you can if you want. I just don’t want you to think I’m not being as efficient as I could be!”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Though” Exposed “I totally agree with the mean spirited comment you just shared, but I added a ‘though’ to the discussion to separate me from your obvious negativity.”

Example Marge: “I can’t believe that Chester always shows up to these social events in his hunting clothes; his blaze orange is just too much tonight!”

Miriam: “He is very nice though.”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “It’s about” Exposed “Whatever you are doing stops now! We are leaving!”

Example Clarence: [at the neighbor’s cabin] “So Harv, I understand you have a recording of the final game I missed from the MN Boys’ hockey tournaments!”

Martha: “Look at this storm coming in, it’s about to get worse. I guess it’s about that time Clarence. Thanks again for the pontoon ride Harv!”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “We’re good then”

Exposed “I am trying to put words in your mouth because I need your assurance that our problem has been resolved! By the way, I am so done with this!”

Example Chet: “Ok, I guess I can understand why your vegetarian brother said all of those crazy things about hunters.”

Darla: “So we’re good then?” [violently throws an unopened can of Spam on the table and grabs the snowmobile keys]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Could…if wanted to” Exposed “Would you just go ahead and get it done already slow poke!”

Example Wilbert: [heading out the door for the MN Lynx game] “Hi neighbor! How’s the raking coming along?”

Gilbert: “Could be worse.

Listen, you could move your trailer over a little if you wanted to.”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Cute/Dumb/Funny” Exposed “I am upset about this, yet I have no idea how to really respond to this uncomfortable moment.”

Example Suhlo: [sarcastically] Great!

“Heino just fell out of his deer stand. There go all of the deer for miles!”

Percy: [peeing behind a pine tree] “Dumb!”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Good deal” Exposed “I am known for being detached and unaffected, so I am desperately trying to appear calm and neutral during this dramatic moment.”

Example Doctor: “This is one of the worst cases of frostbite I have ever seen in all of my years at the Mayo Clinic! You just might lose a couple of fingers.”

Bernie: “Good deal.”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Hands full”

Exposed “You are completely and totally incapable of handling this situation!”

Example Ken: “Looks like you have your hands full trying to fillet those northerns!”

Leo: [gulps and considers throwing the knife towards Ken]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Check my calendar” Exposed “Take your farty party elsewhere! I don’t want to hang out with you and I’m hoping you’ll catch on eventually, so I’ll ‘smell’ you later!”

Example Blanche: “I am looking for a partner for that big shindig in Uptown this weekend, are you interested in going?”

Bonnie: “Yes, let me check my calendar and get back to you.”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Did you know” Exposed “You should know and act accordingly! Meaning, I want this too, you imbecile!”

Example Lula: “Did you know Bertha and Byron go out to eat at Zorbaz every weekend?”

Lawrence: “I heard that! It sounds like Bertha can’t cook.”

Lula: [bangs her head on the pot roast]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Go ahead” Exposed “I dare you!”

Example Norman: “I was thinking about asking Edwin over for lunch tomorrow to discuss turning our back yard into a practice rink for all of the pee wee players.”

Nelle: [throws a log on the fire] “Sure, go ahead.”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “I got it” Exposed “I have asked you to do this several times, so now I will just do it myself and silently punish you for not accomplishing the task sooner!”

Example Harland: “I was busy listening to a good program on Minnesota Public Radio; is the dog still outside?”

Hattie: “No worries; I got it.” [it’s only 40 below out] Harland: [clueless] “Thanks honey!”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Not what I meant” Exposed “If what I just said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you upset, I meant the other one!”

Example Bjorn: [to his drinking buddy on the dock] “I like my new bug zapper way more than Beatrice.”

Beatrice: [hurt and confused] “Is that so? Maybe you can sleep out here with your mosquito friends tonight then!”

Bjorn: “That’s not what I meant!”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “If you ask me” Exposed “I realize you didn’t ask me, but I am really opinionated on this subject and can’t refrain from commenting.”

Example Adolph: [Minnesotan on a Sun Country flight] “Well if you ask me, I still think it is a bit strange to see a female pilot flying the plane and a male flight attendant serving us on this flight!” [eye rolls all around]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “You didn’t…did you” Exposed “Of course you did, and I enjoyed hearing about it, but I can’t openly show my delight in your poor decisions.”

Example Hubert: “I totally just kicked that guy in the Packers jersey square in the kiester!”

Horace: “You didn’t, did you?” [they attempt to high five and miss]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Same way about you as I always have” Exposed “You do realize you have been the difficult one from day one of this relationship right? I was fine until you walked into my life!”

Example Dick: “Are you upset with me for getting this new bird dog?”

Darcy: “No, I am not upset.

I feel the same way about you as I always have.” […and since you love him so much you can sleep with him out in the kennel]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Took a while” Exposed “What the hell took you so long?!”

Example Clive: “Hey Cornelius, sorry I’m a bit late to the icehouse; I wanted to grab the new Explore Minnesota State guide.

They’re hot off the press!”

Cornelius: “That took a while! I only caught my limit while I was waiting for you!”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Nice” Exposed “I’m not very nice. I’m actually disregarding what you just said and changing the topic immediately!”

Example Ester: [making potica] “You should have seen the size of the wood tick we pulled off of the dog this weekend.”

Ella: “That’s nice; so how are you decorating your boat for the 4th of July flotilla this year?”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Just saying”

Exposed “I am right and you are wrong! Period!”

Example Grover: “You should get those boots I showed you over there at Gander Mountain before it snows.”

Glenn: “I’m just saying I don’t think you’re going to find a better boot than those Red Wings!”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Tell you what” Exposed “I am really not that good at making small talk, but I feel like I need to break this awkward silence and contribute to the conversation anyway.”

Example [Uneasy dead air during a group event] John: “I tell you what, there’s nothing like a cold pop when you’re watching the fireworks over the lake!” [no one hears him or acknowledges his existence]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Wouldn’t kill you” Exposed “Suck it up buttercup and simply do it!”

Example Lois: “It probably wouldn’t kill you to salt the sidewalk before the trick or treaters get here!”

Lonnie: [sighs and grabs a fistful of salted nut rolls and mint patties from the Halloween bowl on his way out the door]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Figures” Exposed “The overall consensus is that this person is an idiot in general.”

Example Steve: “So, Bennie didn’t get a doe tag this year, but he just hit one with his brand new truck over there on 35E.” Stan and the guys: [in unison] “It figures!”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Everyone knows” Exposed “Yes, we all sit around and discuss your private life behind your back!”

Example Effie: “Sorry I was a ‘no show’ at the boot hockey game on Friday.”

Elaine: “It’s ok. Everyone knows you’ve been through a lot since losing your job at the Wolf Center.”

Effie: [silently howls in pain]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Not judging you” Exposed “Just kidding; I am totally judging you!”

Example Doris: “How’s this?”

Della: “I’m not judging you, but you might want to serve some Top the Tater and Old Dutch potato chips, rather than those tortilla chips and salsa, if you want the sorority girls to accept you!”

Doris: [sighs and proceeds to eat all of the chips and salsa herself]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Seriously” Exposed “You are a complete bonehead!”

Example Donna: “We should consider putting in a bathroom at the cabin on Long Lake this summer so it isn’t so rustic.”

Dudley: “You think you have it bad? Peterson only has a one seater and our outhouse is a two seater!”

Donna: “Seriously?”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Don’t be mad” Exposed “Yup, you are going to bust a nut over this one!”

Example Father: [looking up at an eagle soaring] “We finally made it! I’m so glad to be back at the shack!”

Son: “Shoot! Don’t be mad, but I think I forgot the deer tags at either Super America or Holiday when we stopped on the way up.”

Father: [*!@#$&*!]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “How hard would it be” Exposed “You seriously need to get a brain and then remember to use it!”

Example Rufus [on the phone]: “Well, it looks like I won’t make it duck hunting with you this morning; my truck is dead and the wife has the jumper cables.”

Roger: “How hard would it be to plug your truck in before the big freeze?”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Too fancy” Exposed “I am so jealous right now!”

Example Fannie: “Check this out. The new screen door Ernie just installed doesn’t slam like our old one did.”

Florence: [secretly lusting over Ernie] “Too fancy!”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Here’s the problem” Exposed “I am trying to sound like I am bringing up a legitimate issue, but I am really just diagnosing you with a pathology!”

Example Chad: “Here’s the problem… you know why these people are having such a hard time adjusting to you being their new boss over there at UnitedHealth Group?

It’s probably because you’re too emotional compared to that last guy!”

Caroline: [wide-eyed stare]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Are you kidding me” Exposed “The truth is, that is just straight up wrong!”

Example Orville: “So, I just got fined for having two over on my walleye limit on Leech Lake.”

Oscar: [looks up from his bobber] “Are you kidding me?”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Know what to do” Exposed “You’re no genius and obviously don’t know anything about this, but s/he does!”

Example Gaylord: “Bugger! This log bed frame doesn’t seem like it’s fitting together right. I’ve just about had it with this thing!”

Ginny: “Well, the mattress from Select Comfort is already here, so you need to call Roland from Slumberland. He’ll know what to do!”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Isn’t it” Exposed “You bet it is!”

Example Evelyn: “I am thinking about getting my hair dyed today. Do you want to tag along with me to either Regis or Great Clips? I noticed your hair is getting a bit long, isn’t it Eula?”

Eula: Smiles and nods in agreement. [feels like ripping her friend a new one]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Is that the way” Exposed “Note to self! No one likes it that way!”

Example Cecelia: “Hey grandma, sorry I am late meeting you at the Little Falls Arts and Crafts Fair; I was getting my hair done at Aveda.”

Grandma: “Is that the way the girls are wearing their hair now?”

Cecelia: [looking elsewhere] “I hope they have those birch bark baskets I’ve been looking for all summer.”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Maybe…could”

Exposed “I don’t trust you! You should learn to be more responsible in general!”

Example Hector: “Look what I got at the Twins game today, an actual game ball!”

Joan: “Maybe you could put it in a special place, so you don’t lose it like my ’87 Homer Hankie that is nowhere to be found!”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Next time” Exposed “You just failed!”

Example Frank: “Whew! The weather this year in New Ulm is a bit nippier than I remember!”

Freda: “Yup, next time we should remember to grab the neck warmers and choppers for Oktoberfest!”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Somebody” Exposed “This somebody royally screwed up and when I find them, they are in big trouble!”

Example Irving: “What’s going on? I only see leeches and minnows here, somebody forgot the night crawlers!” [everyone hits the door running] Marguerite: [reminds him] “All good things come to those who ‘bait’ honey!”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Don’t have to” Exposed “Just so you know, you suck at this task!”

Example Otto: “Well you don’t have to make this wild rice casserole again. It tastes like a pinecone!”

Olive: [thinks of a few key places she’d like to put that pinecone]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Does my”

Exposed “I will open up a can of whoop ass if you answer this trick question wrong!”

Example Alice: [on a first date building a snowman] “Does my butt look big in these snow pants?”

Alton: “Kinda.” [you’re dead Alton]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Since…didn’t” Exposed “I do everything around here you lazy loser!”

Example Betty: [on her way to do some tax-free shopping] “Since you didn’t get the car tabs in time, I am going to have to pack my license plate with snow, so I don’t get pulled over by the MN State Patrol!”

Ben: [turns up the polka music and continues to stare at the Pioneer Press]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “…are you” Exposed “I will make sure you are NOT!” Example Ethel: [in the outhouse] “You are not going to leave that biffy door open so everyone can see my bloomers are you?”

August: “I promise you that skunk over there is about the only one who is looking!

You’re not going to get sprayed are you?”

“Minnesota Nice” Message [Eye roll] Exposed “An eye roll means I think you are a moron and am wondering why I would waste my time and argue with you.”

Example Elsie: “I wasn’t sure if you were still on that diet for the polar plunge, so I brought you some of your favorite Bit-O-Honey candy from Supervalu.”

Essie: [exaggerated eye roll]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “I am”

Exposed “You are evil and I am completely upset that you think you can call me out on anything right now, so I will defend myself.”

Example Susie: “Have you seen this?

It looks like Lifetime Fitness has a monthly special.”

Sylvester: “Are you trying to imply something, because I am in shape!” [round is a shape damn it]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Whatever” Exposed “Piss off!”

Example Iva: “Please tell me you are not wearing that to the Chanhassen dinner theatre!”

Archie: “Whatever! When did it become illegal to wear shorts and a parka at the same time?”

Iva: “Well, it is February!”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Don’t panic” Exposed “You should probably panic!”

Example Ollie: “Hi, this is Ollie from MN Power, I am calling to warn you that we are expecting a complete power outage tonight, but don’t panic, we should have the power back on in time for the Bentleyville Tour of Lights.”

Henrietta: [has a triple coronary attack]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Wish…but”

Exposed “I am so jealous right now and want you to feel guilty about it!”

Example Oliver: “I can barely get through this snowdrift with this little plastic shovel!”

Ole: “Would you like to borrow my new Toro snow blower?”

Oliver: “I wish I could afford a new snow blower, but all of my money goes for food and paying the light bill!”

Ole: [dumb founded]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “I didn’t”

Exposed “I am 100% denying it and straight up lying to you right now!”

Example Inga: “Where were you on Saturday? We thought you were tough enough to try out for the MN RollerGirls!”

Irene: “What? I didn’t know it was going on last weekend!”

Inga: [how hard is it…I think it’s the same weekend every year]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “I wonder”

Exposed “Sucks to be you! And yes, I made damn sure ‘that’ happened and you can’t even blame me for it!”

Example Edith: “I never received the group email about where to meet for the Aquatennial fireworks show.”

Gertrude: “Really? I wonder how that happened? We were right by the Mississippi, just down from where we were last year!”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “You will”

Exposed “Sorry, but no, you won’t actually!”

Example Rhonda: “Damn these bugs!

Quick Ray, turn on the flashlight, I think there is something in my shorts!”

Ray: “I know this is your first time camping in a tent with me in the Boundary Waters, but I promise you will get used of all these bugs.”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Who” Exposed “You better believe I will find out who did it and that person is in big trouble! Understand?”

Example Greta: [yelling out to everyone sledding down the snowbank in the backyard] “Ok guys, who took the ice scraper from my car? [no one is getting any hot chocolate until I find that thing]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Unless you want to” Exposed “Listen up dork, I don’t want to and I wish you would get it for once!”

Example Quincy: “What time should we head out for the Twins Game?”

Denise: “We could just take the light rail from the Mall of America, unless you want to tackle all that road construction and traffic head on.”

Quincy: “Let’s just drive.”

Denise: [get your head out of your ass]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Guy from” Exposed “I‘m just letting everyone know that you don’t belong here!”

Example Vladimir: [gesturing over to Otis’s bar buddy] “I’m not sure we’ve met.”

Otis: “You’ve met Drew before; we work together at MinnTac. He’s that guy from down south.” [otherwise known as Iowa]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Ta heck” Exposed “Attention! You need to understand that I am completely disgusted with what you are doing or saying!”

Example Darrell: [trying to flirt with Irwin’s girlfriend] Irwin: [noticing] “What ta heck do you think you are doing Darrell? Keep your eyes on your own hot dish!”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “DOH-ent” Exposed “I am trying to emphasize how desperately I would like you to stop what you are currently doing to me!”

Example Everett: “I knew I would run into you at the Grand Celebration Powwow.”

Edmund: [reaching for his beads and speaking loudly in front of everyone] “That’s a fancy medallion you have on; you must be going ‘snaggin’ tonight!”

Everett: “DOH-ent!” [DOH-ent can be said in two syllables]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Give it here”

Exposed “Don’t hurt yourself!

Just let me do it!”

Example Alfred: “Honey, I’m heading out to TCF Bank to deposit these checks and am trying to figure out what you wrote on this Post-it.”

Alma: “Just give it here!”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “In case” Exposed “No shit Sherlock!”

Example Father: “As soon as we finish loading up here at Cub Foods we’ll take off.”

Son: “Aren’t we taking the dog hunting with us this weekend dad?”

Father: “In case you didn’t know, the dog is gun shy son.” [comment receives no response]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Would prefer” Exposed “Last time I checked it wasn’t a crime for me to have an opinion!”

Example Luther: “I can’t wait to check out those new depth finders!”

Leona: “You know, “I would prefer that we go to the Land of the Loon festival instead of the boat show this weekend.”

Luther: [ignores her comment and continues to obsess over the boat show flyer]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Last call” Exposed “It sounds like I am being aggressive, but you’ll only actually need to get ready to leave when I yell ‘let’s go’ and turn off all of the lights on everyone.”

Example Bartender at any small town bar throughout Minnesota: “Last call!” [everyone hurries to the counter to order five more beers]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Let…worry” Exposed “Cry me a river! I am done listening now, so please shut the hell up!”

Example Verna: “Oh my heavens, I forgot to tell you, I totally saw Virgil pick a lady slipper! I can’t believe the nerve of that man! I’m going to say something!”

Viola: “I would just call the DNR; let them worry about it!”

Verna: “Good idea, but don’t you think the Minnesota Department of Corrections should lock him up?”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Back in” Exposed “I am not hip and trendy! I am actually out of touch and a bit confused!”

Example Grandson: “No grandpa, I am not dating anyone, I am too busy working as a food scientist at Cargill these days.” [bites into his Jucy Lucy burger] Leroy: “Back in my day the only thing a guy had to do to get a ‘juicy lucy’ to look his way, was to be good at the three F’s… fishing, farming and forestry.”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Nicely” Exposed “I know that nicely is a real word. I am also so damn Minnesota Nice that I often use it in ways that don’t really work, but gosh darn it, I feel good!”

Example Burt: “Check out this cool agate I found during our drive up the north shore from Lake Superior to Gooseberry Falls!”

Bob: “Nicely!”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “All” Exposed “No one judges me! Understand?”

Example Bessie: “I just read that the Minnesota State Lottery is up to a million dollars.”

Bertha: “I don’t play the lotto; our money goes directly back into our household. We just bought these new Andersen Windows for the living room.”

Bessie: “… and like those fingerprints on your windows, we all have our flaws!”

Bertha: [considers throwing Bessie out of her new window]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “I don’t know” Exposed “Heads up! I do know better than you. Just ask and I’ll prove it!”

Example Marion: [conducting an online search of Minnesota’s 10,000 lakes, on which he is planning to take his new boat] Marjorie: “I was hoping we could donate more time at the Minnesota Humane Society but, I don’t know, maybe you have some other summer plans?”

Marion: [that doesn’t sound like a very humane way to spend the summer]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Nothing you” Exposed “You have no control over this situation, so there is no need to ‘hulk it out’ over something like this!”

Example Lorraine: “I have no idea where to find Cecil and Vincent. I just know those boys are going to be lost in that corn field for the rest of the day!”

Lucille: “Well there is nothing you can do about the Harvest Festival Maze!” [we could drink heavily]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “See why”

Exposed “There is a flaw here. I can obviously see it, but unfortunately you are brain dead and cannot!”

Example Russell: [at TCF Bank Stadium] “I think I’ll take the wife up to the state park this weekend for some camping!”

Rudy: “I can see why you want to do a little camping, but it’s your anniversary and Rita would kill you! Take her to the Radisson to show her you really know how to ‘go pher’ it!”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Suppose…could”

Exposed “Just so you know, I don’t want to and therefore, I probably won’t!”

Example Maurice: [pig farmer from southern Minnesota] “I suppose I could take a bath and clean up before we think about heading out to square dance.”

Estelle: [ya think]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Doesn’t matter” Exposed “It totally matters you big turd!”

Example Co-worker: “Again, I feel so bad I forgot to send you the online invite to last Saturday’s off site team retreat at Famous Daves.

I hope you didn’t get in trouble for not being a good team player!”

Beverly: “It doesn’t matter, we had planned on taking the kids to Como Town that day anyway.”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Maybe…want” Exposed “Whoops, my bad! I really should have used the following word sequence: Certain… will!”

Example Winifred: “I just got the new issue of Minnesota Monthly. They published a new list of some great local activities. Maybe we want to take a butter carving class together; I think it’s sponsored by Land ‘O Lakes.”

Wallace: [panics and experiences a heart attack right on the spot]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “If only” Exposed “This is not something I have, so feel bad for me dammit!”

Example Josephine: “Are you meeting us for that tour of the Summit Brewing Company?”

Jan: “I wish! If only they had a Geek Squad for vehicles! My Ford ‘exploder’ finally died and I’m stuck without a car!”

Josephine: “Why don’t you call Jonathan or David from Park Chrysler Jeep, they’ll hook you up!”

Jan: “If only I had their number!”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Could be right” Exposed “You’re wrong about that, but I don’t have the energy to argue with you!”

Example Nancy: “Hi grandma. I just got done with work and am ready to pick those blueberries with you.”

Nettie: “Oh dear, you should change out of those slacks before we head out.”

Nancy: “Nobody says slacks anymore!”

Nettie: “You could be right about that sweetie; I sure hope we find enough berries to make jam!”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Just kidding” Exposed “Shit! I was serious until I thought through what I just said and realized it was totally the wrong thing to say!”

Example Carlo: “Dad I’m scared, I can’t believe you expect me to take the Greyhound bus over to Wisconsin alone!”

Dad: “I was just kidding! You are right, I would never do that to a 20 year old, we’ll go get those fireworks together.”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “For why” Exposed “Save your breath! That idea seriously rubs me the wrong way!

Can’t you see I’m not interested in this at all?!”

Example Doug: [sharpening his knife] “I’m planning a day hike down the Soo Line Trail. Do you want to join me?”

Dillard: “For why?” [dazed and confused while reaching for his can koozie]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Is anyone” Exposed “I know you want to slap me in my whole face right now, but you can’t because I just called you on it!”

Example Amelia: “Is anyone offended if I take this last marshmallow to make one last s’more?”

Anita: “No, go right ahead!” [seeks revenge by hiding the last Hershey bar]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Whatever works”

Exposed “That was a half-assed idea!”

Example Manny: “I noticed a crack in the bottom of the boat, so I put a few strips of duct tape over it. That should hold for a few hours out on the lake!”

Maynard: “Cool. Whatever works!” [chugging a Grain Belt]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Might have” Exposed “Please tell me what part of ‘get it for me now,’ is difficult for you to understand!”

Example Edna: [talking to the server at Buffalo Wild Wings] “Do you think you might have some more napkins for us; this sauce is everywhere!”

Server Sadie: “Sure, I’ll be right with you!” [never comes back to the table despite her chipper voice]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Sure thing” Exposed “I am butt clenched and about to blow!”

Example Moe: “Now that we finished the basement and you are starting to decorate, I was thinking about getting a grouse or pheasant mounted to hang above the fireplace downstairs!”

Marla: [bites into her lefse] “Sure thing.”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Ok then” Exposed “Thanks a lot! You totally just pooped on my parade!”

Example Karen: “I need two new tires. I ran over a porcupine today on my way home.”

Kurt: “Ok then.”

Karen: [walking away] “…oh and by the way, I think the septic tank might be frozen again.”

Kurt: [repeats] “Ok then.”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Doesn’t matter”

Exposed Everything I say and do is usually held against me. It’s not like I get a choice anyway!”

Example Eunice: “Which one would you like; the rhubarb crisp or some zucchini bread?”

Ebert: “Either is fine. It doesn’t matter.” [either way it looks like you are going to get me to eat some vegetables today]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Look at that” Exposed “This behavior is irrational and despite what I just implied, it seriously hurts my eyes to look at that!”

Example Helga: [talking to the neighbor across the fence] “Wow! Look at that, Nel's bought another antique tractor to display in your yard!”

Ruby: “Yup, she’s an old one!” [but not as old as you…You should be put out to pasture]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Try” Exposed “I am about to collapse from all of the pressure you put on me, but instead, I will simply fail to do what you ask, as a means of punishing you!”

Example Gordy: [on the phone] “Glad I caught you! Can you grab a couple of salt licks on your way home tonight?”

Laverne: “I need to pick up my Watkins order and send that MoneyGram first, but I’ll try to get them for you.” [comes home empty handed]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Are they” Exposed “Hell no! That is not going to happen on my watch!”

Example Barb: “Did I hear that right?

Those guys aren’t thinking about having uncle Uno’s funeral over at the bar now are they?”

Bruno: Why wouldn’t they? [duh!]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Don’t care” Exposed “Of course I care dipshit! Does it always have to be about you?”

Example Velma: “Sorry that my grandkids had to tag along on our shopping trip today. Do you mind if they ride the SpongeBob SquarePants Rock Bottom Plunge one more time?”

Violet: “Sure, I don’t care.” […Sponge who? I miss Camp Snoopy]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Heaven’s sake”

Exposed “You need to build a bridge and get over it already!”

Example Pete: [making fun of the neighbor kid while walking around at the gun show with his family] “Hey dad, did you hear that Henry’s IH Harvester blew up!?” Virginia: “Oh, for heaven’s sake you two!

What’s the big deal? I just don’t get this John Deere verses International Harvester rivalry!”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “I’m good” Exposed “Just in case you didn’t realize it by my obvious distaste towards the subject, I have absolutely zero interest in you or what you just proposed in general!”

Example Fiona: “Would you like to hang with me at the Uptown Art Fair this weekend? Maybe we can find some kettle corn!”

Francis: “I’m good.

Thanks anyway!”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Don’t want” Exposed “This is NOT in my wheelhouse, nor do I want it there!

Remember I am from Minnesota.”

Example Georgia: “Most of these Capella learners must not be from Minnesota!

Can you help me understand what this online course posting really says, because I don’t want to fight with this student.”

Grant: [reads the following posting from an online learner] "Listen professor, I am so very confused. You have to help me because your faculty expectations are hard to understand and I obviously need you to be clearer if I am going to pass this class! I know I am not the only one of your students who thinks this way too!"

Grant: "You’re right; she’s probably not from Minnesota. I think this online learner really meant to say, ‘Greetings to you professor, I am having trouble understanding a couple of things regarding your faculty expectations and would really benefit from having them explained further. Thank you for your time and please know I look forward to hearing from you.’

I mean we don’t want to have miscommunication with students, so that’s how I would interpret it Georgia!"

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Borrow me” Exposed “The word is lend, not borrow, but maybe if I confuse you enough with my use of the English language, I will get what I want and need!”

Example Minnie: “We are going to an outdoor wedding at the fishing resort this weekend. Can you borrow me your Faribault Woolen Mill blanket?

Mina: “Sure thing! …and I came over to ask you if you would borrow me your Bundt cake pan!”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “over|up|for|with|of|in|on|too|off|by” Exposed “Let’s be clear on this one, I am NOT an English teacher.

I have no idea I end the majority of my sentences with a preposition. Therefore I am not responsible for any irritation I may cause you when speaking!”

Example Luke: “Thanks for bringing your Polaris over. Look at all of these holes that thing dug up!”

Laurel: “That’s for sure! Some critter has been tearing your yard up! And what for?”

Luke: “Yeah, it’s probably a skunk or something that size, so this is the trap I think we’ll catch him with.”

Laurel: “Yup, that’s what I was just thinking of!”

Luke: “Looks like this will be the best area to catch him in.”

Laurel: “Ok, let’s get the other stuff from the shed then; hop on!

What side did you want me to park next to?”

Luke: “This is good here, you can let me off.

That’s the door I’ll have you wait by.”

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Creative” Exposed “What in God's name are you trying to accomplish with that?”

Example Jane: [noticing a huge statue of a mama bear and her cubs standing next to the new neighbor’s front sidewalk] “That’s a creative landscaping idea!”

Jean: [feeling sassy in her mukluks] “I know right? That new guy Jari must be one creative fellow!” […and we are no longer attracted to him after that creative move]

“Minnesota Nice” Message “Or something”

Exposed “Are you serious? I would rather move to another state than do what you just proposed! Oh, and by the way, I dare you to try and make me do it!”

Example Joby: [first weekend back at the shack] “I think we should go ahead and just kill ourselves brushing in some new trails and get ‘er done before the opener!”

Jeric: “Yeah, or something.” [cracks open a Minnesota craft beer he bought on the way up from ‘the cities’]

MINNESOTA EXPOSED Full-Color Edition Copyright © 2020

by Dr. Jody Janati All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced without written permission from the author.

Cover Photo: Cold Bathroom Copyright © Wild Geese – Fotolia Back Cover Photo: Grunge Illustration with the Map of Minnesota Copyright © Filipbjorkman Fotolia Miscellaneous Clipart Design: Minnesota State Pride Outline Copyright © Kooziez

Trainer, speaker, conference facilitator…

Jody Janati has a Doctoral degree in Organizational Leadership, and a Masters degree in Speech Communication. She has taught in higher education for over 20 years and offers a variety of public and professional workshops on conflict reduction tactics and effective communication skills. During her academic career she worked in various leadership roles, and taught for over a decade at both the University of Minnesota and across the MN state prison system. She currently trains for numerous organizations throughout the US. Dr. Janati is also the author of six books and DailyOM’s best-selling class, Protect Yourself from Control Dramas.

Dr. Jody Janati findyourconversationpeace.com findyourconversationpeace@gmail.com