4 minute read
What We Learned
Embracing Life
I Can See You … Hear You … So Close, Yet So Far Away
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Watching a Yard Goats game in Hartford, taking in a concert on the lawn of Tanglewood, enjoying a leisurely dinner inside a restaurant on Main Street in Middletown, or meandering a bit while grocery shopping.
These are just a few things we figured would always be there whenever we needed them. While that sort of list is almost endless depending on your interests, the biggest thing taken away by COVID-19, and possibly never to be taken for granted again, is the desire for human interaction.
In the Bible we can find examples of the healing touch, the reassuring touch, the cleansing touch from Jesus. Touch is such a natural instinct, like breathing; who thought much about it until the coronavirus altered life? But we see the importance as people talked about what they should no longer take for granted.
“Personal relationships ... pat on the back, shaking hands or a hug, and how important being positive is during times of stress,” said Larry McHugh, President of the Middlesex County Chamber of Commerce and former Xavier football coach and teacher.
Joanne Vidallon, mother of Allen ’23, has seen many things as a nurse on the front lines of the coronavirus battle.
“Things that seemed ‘small’ were actually as important as ‘big things’ in life,” Vidallon said. “A simple hug, a kiss, a smile, inviting family and friends for dinners or even opening a mailbox without the fear of getting sick -- these are all things we’ve thought carelessly about. But most of all, we have learned to cherish health and life. Our health and life are precious gifts from God.”
Bryan Farrington ’05 is hopeful that we all have learned a few things.
“I keep returning to three concepts: appreciation, empathy and compassion,” Farrington said. “I have a newfound appreciation for childcare workers, front line workers, teachers, and a host of other groups of people that do extremely critical work but can easily fade into the background when things are ‘normal.’ ”
“COVID has had the ability to smash together worlds (your home world and work world, for example) that typically don’t intersect quite as often or quite as forcefully. When faced with these situations, it’s been a helpful exercise to be reminded that everyone is using the tools they have to navigate this situation and we’re all doing the best we can. It wouldn’t hurt for humanity, whenever we return to normal, to continue to appreciate, have empathy for, and compassion for those around us.”
“Ken Champion ’75, who owns his own construction management firm, thinks there may be a message in all of this, something to build on.
“I can figure out a lot of things and build a lot of things; I haven’t figured this out yet, but that’s what my heart is telling me.”
Brother Thomas Ryan, C.F.X., has spent his life teaching our youth, and his classroom banter and interaction with the students is a testament to his love for the work he has done as a Xaverian Brother.
“I will never take personally interacting with the students for granted … You can’t take for granted how much the students do enhance your life,” Brother Ryan said.
He reached out to more than 50 students by phone in May and June as part of an effort by Xavier to stay connected in as many ways as possible after the coronavirus shut down in-person learning in March. “It was a really special experience,” he said. “Parents were very gratified that Xavier took that step.”
From the people who could not visit a loved one in the hospital or a nursing home to the grandparents who could not hug their grandchildren, you don’t need science to tell you the benefits of human interaction: physically, emotionally, and socially. Then again, there have been many scientific studies on the subject that reveal touching releases so-called “feel good” hormones.
The coronavirus trapped them.
Technology enabled school to keep going in the virtual classroom until we could get back in person in September.
And, sure, video calls with family and friends were a nice diversion so we weren’t totally out of touch, yet the Zoom Boom was nice for just so long. I can see you. I can hear you. So close. But so far away.
Visits to see the grandkids, outside, six feet away, masks on, grew old too. And sad was the day last spring that our 3 1/2-year-old granddaughter instinctually went to hug her grandmother. And my instinct, to protect my wife, to protect my granddaughter, after everything that was drilled into me from media reports, day in and day out as the number of deaths and hospitalizations climbed in the state, was to stop it.
She was 3 ½ years old. She cried. What was I thinking?
She needed a hug.
Jeff Otterbein ’72, Associate Director of Communications
