5 minute read
REACHING RESILIENCE
and HOW DO I GET THERE?
By Ali W. Rothrock
I BELIEVE IN RESILIENCE.
I believe in our ability to get back up, to rally against adversity, and to choose when to rest and when to offer help. I believe in it so much that my two companies, On the Job and Off and First Responders Care have the word resilience baked into their mission statements: “Building more resilient first responders” and “Empowering first responders to take an active role in their communities’ resilience.”
For me, being resilient has meant that even though there were days when I was so deep into my struggle that I didn’t recognize myself in the mirror, I chose to continue to work toward better times. Rejecting
the idea that I would be stuck in that mental place forever and putting in the work to get there – being resilient – is what bridged the gap between where I was and where I am now.
I’ve spent a lot of time in fire stations. After 16 years as a firefighter and as an Emergency Medical Technician, and after more than a decade and a half of getting in and out of fire engines and ambulances, truck bays are still my favorite place to be. The experiences I’ve had in fire stations and the education I’ve gained there have taught me just about everything I know about resilience.
To be honest, the fire service has provided some contradictory experiences. In the beginning of my career, I lived two stories in tandem. In the first story, I fell deeply in love with the purpose and excitement of firefighting. My first fire call was a double fatal car accident involving children. Even though those children couldn’t be saved that night, the experience showed me how important the fire service can be. It showed me the beauty of those who come together instantly, and who willingly expose themselves to trauma and tragedy to try to save a life. The second story was one in which I wasn’t
safe within the four walls of my fire house because of outdated beliefs some firefighters
there held about a woman’s right to exist in their ranks. Living both stories forced me to practise resilience in different ways.
What does this have to do with you and your work as a first responder? How could you possibly have space in your life and in your brain for adding something else that you’re supposed to do? Right now, you’re showing up at work and at home as you should and dealing with life in a pandemic that has no known end date And here I am, telling you to add something new to your to-do list – this ambiguous thing called “being resilient.”
IT’S NOT AS HEAVY A LIFT AS YOU MIGHT THINK. BEING MORE RESILIENT IS A SKILL, JUST LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE WE’VE LEARNED. IT’S LIKE MOVING IN OUR GEAR, ADVANCING A LINE, OR THROWING A LADDER.
Remember how awkward it was the first time you had to move in your gear? Crawling, running, and jumping with that bulky weight all took some getting used to. Breathing while on air? That was very strange at first. Some of us were nervous the first time we had to climb a ladder and were unsure of how to maneuver the heavy power tools we use for vehicle rescue. But it all got easier and became second nature. Now, running and jumping in gear, doing our job while on air, and all the other skills we need to be proficient in to do our jobs can be done without much thought. Over time, our muscle memory strengthens, the neural pathways in our brain forge new connections, and our muscles grow to help us lift the heavy load. Resilience is the same. It gets easier every time.
Resilient people possess three characteristics
1 2 3 AND AN UNCANNY ABILITY TO IMPROVISE
In an article in Harvard Business Review Press’s publication “On Emotional Intelligence” reporter and author Diane Contu defines resilience as “The skill and capacity to be robust under conditions of enormous stress and change.”
Practising resilience is an integral skill for anyone in the emergency services, since the nature of our job demands that we be great at performing under conditions of “enormous stress and change.” Diane adds that “Resilient people… possess three characteristics: a staunch acceptance of reality; a deep belief, often buttressed by strongly-held values, that life is meaningful; and an uncanny ability to improvise.”
I love this definition because it quantifies the components that make a person resilient and, furthermore, proves the point that the ability to be resilient is not something we were or were not born with, nor is it a quality we learn in school. Being more resilient is a simple choice we can make the next time life throws us an opportunity.
Let’s break down Diane’s definition of resilience further, specifically what it means for first responders.
“Possessing a staunch acceptance of reality” means we don’t gloss over hardships or bypass the hard work by being unhelpfully positive. We look objectively at the situation we’re in and consider the resources available to us. “Stronglyheld values that life is meaningful” means taking a direct look at your beliefs and contemplating how they color your experiences on a day-to-day basis. How does what you believe impact the way you face adversity? Do you believe that life is meaningful even when it’s really hard and unfair?
This last component is my absolute favorite: “An uncanny ability to improvise.” Life is unpredictable and rarely perfect. The next time something gets in our way, how can we improvise? How can we solve problems creatively? What resources do we have at our disposal? How can we inject a little bit more resilience into the situation? Rather than using a negative coping skill to deal with stress, can we process those feelings in a healthier way?
To quote the indomitable soccer coach Ted Lasso from the TV show of the same name: “Be curious, not judgmental.”
The next time you face adversity, whether it’s something you feel is comparatively small or is a massive boulder that’s been dropped in front of you, decide that instead of judging
the situation, you’re going to face it with curiosity. Decide that even if practising resilience is brand new to you, each time it will get easier and easier.
