CPH Post Language School Guide, Winter 2020

FACEBOOK/SPEAK

INTRO

FLOODING BACK

FACEBOOK/SPEAK

More new arrivals are learning Danish following the return of the free classes

Denmark is once again a country where newly-arrived residence permit holders can learn the language for free!

Earlier this year, the government reversed the 2018 decision of its right-wing predecessor and brought back the free classes from July 1.

And the results have been instantaneous, with insiders estimating that student numbers have grown by 300 percent since the summer. In 2018 and 2019, they had fallen by 75 percent.

Changed landscape Nevertheless, the landscape has changed forever, and now only a select number of schools receive state subsidies to offer free classes - more or less the same establishments that won tenders in 2018 to offer heavily-discounted courses (2,000 kroner a module).

Some of the other rules implemented in 2018 also remain.

For example, students are still required to make a deposit of 2,000 kroner at the start of the course, and this is putting some off from taking the classes, the schools have told CPH POST. The deposit is only payable by self-supporting citizens. Foreigners enrolled on an integration program and au pairs are exempt from paying one.

2

Split into regions In 2018, the country was split into regions, which involved lumping many municipalities together.

So, for example, while Copenhagen, Aarhus and Glostrup are single-municipality regions on account of the large numbers of potential learners, in areas of the country where there are few non-Danes, students might need to travel further!

Again this has probably put some off.

Two tenders in capital In Copenhagen, where a huge proportion of the new arrivals first find their feet in Denmark, there are two schools offering free classes: UCplus and Clavis.

UCplus currently holds four other tenders in Denmark, including in Ringkøbing and Silkeborg, while Clavis holds the monopoly in Aarhus.

Speak holds the tender in Gentofte.

Most schools are private One upshot of this is that some language schools have sharpened up their approach in a bid to stand out from the tender holders.

Their prices might be upwards of 5,000 a module but the quality of tuition at the ‘private schools’ tends to be more flexible and intensive.

option.

Eligibility criteria Anyone with a residence permit is entitled to the Danish language lessons. This includes students, accompanying spouses, EU/EEA citizens or au pairs. In short all foreign adults with CPR numbers and a legal residence are welcome.

Municipalities are in charge of arranging the Danish language programs for newly-arrived foreigners. In Copenhagen a referral letter valid for 30 days is normally sent out to potential new students.

Eligible students have five years from their arrival to take advantage of the free classes. Furthermore, they are only eligible for 42 of the 60 months that comprise the five years.

Voucher system There are three levels of Danish Education which consist of six modules individually. The voucher system allows you to exchange a module with a voucher. The number of vouchers you receive corresponds to the number of modules you will need to take.

Therefore taking breaks during a module might be tricky as each voucher has different lengths of a time limit and you won’t always be able to retake the same module.

You can take breaks between modules but For companies wishing to immerse their you should inform your language educanew employees, they tend to be their best tion centre.

Publisher: CPH POST • Editor: Hans Hermansen • Layout: CPH POST LANGUAGE SCHOOLS GUIDE WI NT ER 2 020 Info: hans@cphpost.dk • Tel: +45 2420 2411

Sign up for

FREE DANISH classes In Copenhagen - right by Nørreport Station

Classroom

Online

Intensive Danish

Classroom & online

NB! We follow the Covid-19 regulations and teach online when it is required.

www.clavis.org

Nørregade 49 ● Copenhagen K ● Phone: +45 41 73 81 00 ● Email: cph@clavis.org

LANGUAGE SCHOOLS GUIDE W INTE R 2 02 0

3

IMPACT FACEBOOK/STUDIESKOLEN

LINGUA DANCA: THE IMPORTANCE OF LEARNING DANISH

By Edward Owen If you’re new to Copenhagen, there’s a good chance you will have never heard anything quite like the Danish language. Sure, maybe you’ve watched a few episodes of ‘The Bridge’, but essentially your brain switches onto autopilot as you read the subtitles.

You’ve also noticed that the Danes seem to speak pretty good English. And so, you could easily convince yourself that learning the language isn’t really a priority.

The fact of the matter is there are of course a myriad of advantages to learning the native language of your new home – especially given the strong possibility that you won’t want to leave.

Employment: Avoid the creek!

Some ability in Danish will present you with a wider range of choice in your chosen profession.

Perhaps you’re here in Copenhagen because you work for a large international company and the official language is English. However, there is no doubt that new opportunities within such firms – in different departments or new projects – will be available to you if you can grasp Danish.

But what if you came here as a refugee of

4

love or to follow your spouse, and your qualifications (a bachelor’s degree for example) aren’t what the big companies are thinking of when they talk about ‘highly-skilled foreigners’. The truth is that even if you find a job that specifies mother tongue English, they will very often still want you to speak Danish when socialising with the other workers. Such a situation can spoil the office hygge!

Within the service industry there are some employers who don’t have a preference on your Danish language skills and there are some that do. The point remains: you will have more options if you can get to grips with Danish.

Whatever your profession, you will eventually find yourself in a situation in which knowledge of Danish is highly advantageous at work.

The time may also come where you want to change your job or employer, and it’s at this point that the ability to use the language will open up significantly more opportunities than those already within your reach.

Education: Join the clique!

Attending university is one of the main reasons for the large international presence in Copenhagen, and learning Danish will also help at school.

LANGUAGE SCHOOLS GUIDE WI NT ER 2 020

Remember: many programs are available in English, but the number is being cut. Now, we’re not suggesting you move to Denmark and immediately enrol onto a course taught in Danish, but there is a significant amount of group work involved in a Danish education.

Inevitably, you will find yourself in one such group as the only foreigner.

Imagine; you take a five-minute break from your group work and grab a coffee. Upon your return your peers are chattering away in Danish – no big deal, right? Wrong. It turns out that as you were gazing off into the distance, important decisions were made about the direction of the group project. If only you had understood, you could have recognised the importance of the conversation.

Socially: Power when you speak!

It’s also important to consider your social life outside of work. Making friends with Danes can be a tough audition. Being able to converse in Danish will really allow you to immerse yourself in society and glide through social interactions and feel more at home.

The day-to-day situations in which a good command of Danish can be an advantage are numerous, but here are a few examples.

IMPACT ‘Getting around’ Place names, directions, announcements on transport – particularly out in the regions where far fewer Danes tend to speak English well. Imagine you’re sat on the train and it fails to depart – there’s an announcement and everyone gets off the train. You can assume this train is going nowhere – but what did the announcement say?!

‘Life administration’ Paying bills, making purchases online, understanding receipts and terms and conditions, checking the small print etc. You are responsible for your own tax assessment in Denmark – receiving a large tax bill at the end of the year is not ideal.

‘Basic communication’ Not just with the Danes, but with a sizeable chunk of the 10 percent of the population who aren’t Danish, but don’t speak English.

Immigrating from countries like Eritrea, Afghanistan and Syria, they wouldn’t have learned English as a child, but most will speak Danish after being here for a few months.

‘Making new friends’ Not just with the Danes but also the social outlet offered by language school. Many

often remain friends for decades, and it’s not unknown for some to start sports clubs once the learning experience is over.

‘Complaining’ Whether it’s in a checkout queue or at the traffic lights, if you’re speaking in English, will they admit to understanding you?

‘Eavesdropping’ Fun in any language.

‘Safety’ Last, but by no means least. In an emergency situation, Danish language skills could prove to be the difference – offering crucial clarity and timesaving.

Culturally: New horizons to seek Ultimately it might come down to how well you want to get to know and appreciate your new home. Imagine the excitement many feel at being able to read and appreciate Hans Christian Andersen’s stories in their original language, or the philosophy of Søren Kierkegaard.

Danish also connects you with the past and the culture and history of northern Europe. It developed from Old Norse, which eventually split into Old West Norse, spoken in Norway

and Iceland, and Old East Norse, spoken in Sweden and Denmark.

Eventually, Old East Norse evolved into the Danish that is spoken today. Believe it or not, there are many regional dialects in Denmark and its territories, of which many are still spoken today.

If you understand Danish you can go to more events, exhibitions and social happenings.

Learning Danish will make you aware they are happening in the first place and will also allow you to get more out of them once you are there.

And don’t forget that Danish is closely related to Norwegian and Swedish, even if their Scandinavian neighbours to tend to mock the Danes for sounding as if we speak with a potato in our mouths. So you’re not just learning one language, but three!

Norwegian (bokmål) is almost a carbon copy of Danish, with a few distinctions irrelevant to normal every-day use.

Swedish uses some unique words and phrases, but to a great extent is very understandable to Danish speakers.

TEACHING COMMITMENT THAT GOES FAR BEYOND THE WALLS OF THE CLASSROOM

“The most important aspect of our set-up is the teachers,” enthuses Mette Lherbier, the head of the UCplus language centre in Copenhagen, which for 13 years has been offering Danish tuition with an obvious focus that is often overlooked by schools: the student!

“Our teachers don’t just instruct the students in the classroom. Theirs is a 24/7 commitment,” reveals Mette.

“It’s vital they keep in touch and are always reachable – in fact, it is a principle of the school’s. If a student misses a couple of weeks, the teacher will personally contact them and then help them catch up. This explains why we don’t have the same dropout rate as other schools.”

Reachable and relevant It’s no fluke that UCplus started offering language classes in 2007, which many credit as the year Copenhagen truly started becoming an international city.

The language centre’s first major contract was to prepare 800 German bus drivers to fill a shortage in the transport sector: so not only help them to brush up on their Danish skills, but to prepare them for the likely situations they would encounter on the job.

It is a tailored way of working that UCplus continues with today.

Photo: Tanya Vinogradova

UCplus offers language courses where the student and their everyday lives are the focus

“Our teachers are highly flexible and always ensure students learn active phrases: language relevant to their everyday lives and jobs,” continues Mette.

“We also encourage students to bring their studies into the classroom, so it is always relevant to them. It’s no good teaching them a passive language.”

This year, facing the challenge of COVID-19, the teachers again showed their versatility, effortlessly taking all studies online in the spring. Since then, online learning has played a bigger role, with some students preferring to mix it up.

“The teachers figured it out,” adds Mette.

Free and flourishing Mette is delighted that the Socialdemokratiet government on July 1 reversed the decision of its predecessors to permit free Danish tuition, as UCplus had won a tender to offer subsidised classes in 2018 and is therefore one of only two companies in Copenhagen that can provide free classes. All other schools are private and get no subsidies.

In total UCplus has the tender for free Danish in five regions (some are single municipalities, others are merged)

Nevertheless, the students are required to make a commitment in the shape of a deposit of 2,000 kroner, which they get back when they have completed their course.

This puts off some from learning, concedes Mette, but the proof is in the numbers. Since July 1, she estimates that UCplus’s student numbers have risen from 500 to 2,000 in Copenhagen – results that have gone down very well at Copenhagen City Hall.

Again, it is testament to the language centre’s unique way of forming long-lasting relationships with its students.

LANGUAGE SCHOOLS GUIDE W INTE R 2 02 0

5

THE CONUNDRUM

SO MANY LANGUAGE SCHOOLS – but which one to choose?

FACEBOOK/SPEAK

There are many different types of language schools offering a range of courses catering to your individual needs and circumstances. Let us help you find the school that is right for you.

Getting started Once you have arrived here and have settled, getting started on language tuition is relatively simple and requires only that you have a Danish CPR number (civil registration number).

You will have to apply for this through the website or office of your local kommune (municipality).

In order to obtain a CPR number, you have to meet the following criteria: • You have been in Denmark for more than three months; • If you are an EU citizen, you have a registration certificate (does not apply to Nordic citizens); • If you are a non-EU citizen, you have obtained a residence permit; • You have a valid, permanent address. A minimum length of one month’s stay is expected, but you might be asked to provide proof of three months.

All this will be checked and your registration will not be accepted if there are any anomalies. Your registration can be cancelled if the address proves to be illegal.

You will also be expected to provide other documentation, such as a valid passport, a marriage certificate if you are married and the birth certificates of your children if you have them with you.

6

What’s available As well as teaching Danish to adult foreigners, many schools offer a wide range of other courses, including special youth courses and courses on Danish culture and society.

There are long courses that run during the academic year, short intensive courses and summer courses. Depending on your needs, time, interests and prior qualifications, the main options below are available to you:

Via the municipality Local authorities are required by law to offer Danish language and culture courses to all foreign residents. The local language schools offer courses at all levels. The target groups for these courses are new immigrants and refugees.

It is also possible to study in neighbouring municipalities, such as Frederiksberg, so it is wise to go online and check individual language schools.

It is usually possible to enrol on courses several times a year. Mandatory examinations are held twice a year.

Adult learning centres The adult learning centres (VUCs) offer courses in all general subjects for adults at lower and upper secondary school level. In addition to the general courses offered to Danes, some of the VUCs offer Danish language courses for foreigners. Each course lasts 6-12 months and comprises 240 lessons. You can obtain more information on

LANGUAGE SCHOOLS GUIDE WI NT ER 2 020

these courses from your local municipality or from the individual adult learning centre.

If you are interested in a more intensive or perhaps a more individually designed course, you can enquire at one of the local language centres about private language teachers.

Folk high schools Some folk high schools (folkehøjskoler) offer residential courses in Danish language and culture, either during the summer holiday (3-4 weeks) or during the autumn and spring semesters (4-5 months). These courses do not normally include formal tests or examinations.

The Secretariat for the Danish Folk High Schools will provide you with further information about courses, admission and tuition fees. Visit hojskolerne.dk for more information.

Higher education institutions In connection with a language school, some institutions offer intensive Danish language courses at the beginning of the academic year, during the semester, or as a part of a summer university program.

Students who are enrolled at the institution are not usually charged a tuition fee, but have to pay a deposit of 1,250 kroner.

Private instruction There are many private language schools and instructors out there. This type of learning is ideal for those who don’t have time to attend scheduled classes.

CHALLENGES

DANISH LANGUAGE MUCH HARDER than Norwegian and Swedish, argue linguistics experts No place in Babbel’s top nine languages easiest to learn for Anglophones “Daddy! Say ‘rødgrød med fløde’.”

An inaudible mumble follows. Daddy doesn’t play games – well maybe Cluedo at which he’s unbeatable because the Brits pretty much invented sleuthing – or eat Danish desserts. Yuk! It’s all harmless fun – no complexes or counselling involved – and we’ve all been there, as Danish is a difficult language to learn.

And now a list by Babbel.com has confirmed what we’ve defensively been telling our overseas relatives all these years, along with: “Well, everyone speaks such good English” and “Nobody gives us a chance to practise.”

Neighbours have it easy According to Babbel’s experts, the easiest for Anglophones to learn are Norwegian and Swedish, two languages closely related to Danish.

But tellingly perhaps, there was no room for Danish in Babbel’s top nine, despite its Germanic roots.

Far more flexible “You’ll have a lot more leeway with pronunciation when learning Norwegian,” contends Babbel.

“That’s because there are a vast array of different accents in Norway and, therefore, more than one ‘correct way’ to pronounce words.”

Swedish, suggested Babbel, has benefited from its exposure through companies like IKEA. English speakers around the world have been exposed to a number of Swedish words while simply shopping for furniture (and chowing down on some meatballs),” it noted.

“The popular, minimalistic Lack tables are named after the Swedish word for ‘varnish’. And the Stockholm rugs, of course, get their name from Sweden’s capital.”

Free Danish lessons when you want to?

Get started free of charge at the Official Danish Language Education at UCplus Dansk - official language school in Copenhagen

Sign up at www.ucplusdansk.dk Day, evening &

100% online

Why:

Classes in central Copenhagen & at 10+ educational institutions

» You get job and study specific Danish lessons and start building a network in Denmark. » You learn about Danish culture and history and attend official Danish exams and tests for free. » You can study when you want to and we focus on the Danish that you use in your everyday life – on the job and socially.

»

About UCplus Dansk: UCplus Dansk is an official provider of the Danish Language Education programmes in Copenhagen, and we offer the ministerial tests and exams. We have been teaching Danish to new residents wwat all levels since 2007.

PLUS

UCplus Dansk

LANGUAGE SCHOOLS GUIDE W INTE R 2 02 0

7

CAREER BOOST FACEBOOK/KBH SPROGCENTER

CPH POST recently had the privilege of sitting down with three experts on the benefits of language tuition for new arrivals to Denmark.

Nikolai Lubanski is the director of talent attraction at Copenhagen Capacity, the formal investment promotion agency of Greater Copenhagen; Annette Juel Baunsgaard is the founder of Onboardingsdk, which eases incoming expats into their new lives in Denmark; and Thomas Mulhern is the managing director of Globally Local, which assists companies with diversity management programs.

For the long haul All three agree that learning Danish is a crucial step toward successfully integrating in Denmark, from advancing at work, to mingling with the crowd, to enjoying a rich social life, to getting the most out of your time in Denmark, however long that might be.

Quite simply, to paraphrase Nikolai Lubanski, while English is often the corporate language, Danish is the career language.

How many companies seem interested in the prospect of getting their international hires to learn Danish?

It’s been around four years since we collaborated, and now there are almost 7,000 international teams interested in taking the courses. Probably around 80 percent of the companies we deal with acknowledge the need because they look at the return on investment.

NIKOLAI LUBANSKI How important is Danish at the workplace?

Even though most people here are able to speak English, knowing Danish helps you get into different settings. You would be better acquainted with the country and also your workplace – it is a part of getting out

8

THE CONSENSUS IS CLEAR: A COMMAND OF DANISH WILL HELP YOUR CAREER of the international bubble. And likewise, for the international individual talent: simply because we believe that even if the corporate language is English, the career language is definitely Danish – to open new doors and opportunities for promotions. It is a good idea if you want to network and further your abilities.

And in the corporate world – for a company as an entity?

Often companies start working more with Danish customers, and then it’s handy to have Danish speaking staff for good customer-relations building. It is important to know the language while working with clients, manufacturers and suppliers who are still very reluctant to communicate only in English. Moreover, it is essential for B2B relations and to understand the work culture of Denmark.

Apart from at work, how essential is Danish in everyday life?

There are definitely other benefits of learning Danish looking from the personal livability side of it. I emphasise learning it to have a fuller life and being able to interact with the Danes. For families, it is helpful to know Danish when their kids are studying in Denmark to speak with the teachers and understand instructions – if they have to go to the doctor, to the supermarket etc.

They will obviously navigate their way through in English, but Danish helps them get so much closer to society.

What do you think about the future of expats in Denmark?

I think it will only increase because if you look at the labour market situation over the last few years, internationals are

LANGUAGE SCHOOLS GUIDE WI NT ER 2 020

highly needed. Hopefully, we will see some positive times looking at what is really needed than what the strict immigration policies do.

ANNETTE JUEL BAUNSGAARD Can you tell us a bit about Onboarding2dk?

Onboarding to Denmark is a company I started in March this year. I have been in the recruitment and onboarding industry for over 20 years at different kinds of companies, including the HR department at DTU and Copenhagen Business School. I built a great network there in regard to the authorities and municipalities, which is the reason I was able to then start my own business. I am dedicated to helping people getting a good start in Denmark. That’s my motivation.

How important do you think it is for internationals to learn Danish?

Learning the Danish language is a very

CAREER BOOST a certain level in the organisation where having Danish is almost a prerequisite to be able to have influence.

important way for internationals to pave their way into Danish society. That way they can socialise, integrate and have a better life in Denmark, which is much better than the one in which you don’t understand anything being said across the table. In my work, I have seen many internationals leave Denmark because they don’t feel they can interact with the people and in society.

Speaking the language will give you a sense of belonging and a good life here.

What’s the importance of Danish in the workplace?

I would say it is very important. It is among the most important things to learn when you are an expat working here. You can understand things that are being said in the workplace and break the otherwise prevalent cultural barrier. It’s a tendency for employees to talk in Danish during lunch and not to integrate with internationals sometimes. So it’s crucial to mix with the crowd.

And for the expat’s family ...

It depends on how long you are planning to be in Denmark. If it’s more than two years, then it’s very important to at least learn the basics. It helps with socializing – for example with one’s neighbours.

It’s a good way to break into society and develop friendships, which can be quite a challenge otherwise in Denmark. Having a social life is very important. You want to be happy – that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it?

What do you think about the future of expats in Denmark and the growing importance of the Danish language?

I hope it will be a mixture of languages and cultures. Danish people also perhaps might learn more languages in order to know about the other nationalities around them. I hope that’s the way it goes. When you come to a new country as an expat, you should learn the language of course and hopefully from someone like Copenhagen Language Center. Hopefully more expats actually learn the language.

THOMAS MULHERN What’s the importance of Danish in the corporate sector?

At a strategic level we see that learning Danish is crucial in terms of building up a network of especially Danes, as well as having more influence and increased wellbeing at the workplace.

From the company’s perspective, they see it as a cog in terms of maximising employee performance and retaining a higher percentage of global talent so that they can contribute in the best way possible.

Do you think that the companies also push their employees to opt for the language – more than it being an option, maybe some companies actually have a necessity?

Some do. It’s a mix. There are some companies where the corporate language is English, so there’s not that expectation.

There are others where employees are expected to learn the language – otherwise they will just be given the minutes of a meeting and then a brief summary at the end.

However, if you really want to maximise your ability to thrive at your workplace, Danish is a must; you will invariably reach

What about the importance of learning Danish for an international’s social life – in the wider community away from the workplace?

Indeed. It’s also important in terms of social life – to make local friends and to participate in different clubs that which are predominantly Danish. If you have your children at a Danish school, then the communication is primarily in Danish.

There are a lot of such places throughout society where it’s really beneficial to just be able to read Danish and speak Danish to make life easier. We can see a direct correlation between settling in and learning the language and how that impacts wellbeing.

What do you think about the future of expats in Denmark in general?

Well, we can see that the number of expats keeps growing – especially in the Copenhagen area. So I expect that trend to continue. I think that in terms of the influence that it will have on society, it depends. It’s like there is a glass ceiling for many top leaders who come from a different culture and don’t speak the Danish language, which prevents them from making it to the top levels. But we will see how the changing demographics affect that and how Denmark reacts to more diversity, because it’s historically a monoculture.

Do you think that the Danish language is one of the important factors that comes into play?

I think it’s a very important factor. It’s a way of building bridges. If you move to a society, it’s a way of demonstrating that I’m here and I want to understand you, a Dane, today in your native tongue. I want to communicate at the best possible level.

And that’s a great way of showing it. It’s a way of showing that you want to be active and participate.

FACEBOOK/KBH SPROGCENTER

LANGUAGE SCHOOLS GUIDE W INTE R 2 02 0

9

OPINION Both of my parents are Danish, and I was born in Denmark, so I’m as Danish as can be. So, it may be a surprise to you that I find the language revolting. It’s irritating to listen to and impossible to speak. I can’t fathom how someone could’ve come up with such a miserable excuse for a language and found it acceptable.

Underwater accents People often describe Danish as ‘speaking Swedish with a potato in your mouth’, but I disagree. It’s far worse than that.

Danish sounds more akin to a smoker coughing his lungs out than to an actual language. It feels like people slur their words together on purpose just to piss me off. I ask them to repeat, please, preferably using a dialect not exclusive to civilizations at the bottom of the ocean.

The person then lets loose another incomprehensible gurgle of words in response. This chain repeats itself for a bit until, finally, they let out an exasperated sigh and perfectly pronounce each and every word out to me like they’re speaking to an idiot: “Oh, you wanted me to move because this is your stop? Why didn’t you just say so?”

You may be wondering why, sometimes, you will be absolutely incapable of understanding a certain person’s Danish.

Well, that would be because of their accent. Yes, as if Danish wasn’t hard enough to understand already. It often gets to a point when I don’t realise the person looking at me is even speaking a language I understand. Invariably they’re half-finished with what they’re saying before I’ve realised.

Talking like a turtle Understanding Danish is hard, but what about speaking it? Well, worry not, for spoken Danish is a whole other headache of itself. Though it may sound good to you when speaking it, chances are everyone around you will have no clue about what you’re trying to communicate.

Ideally, every syllable should be pronounced clearly, so that when asking to use the restroom you don’t sound like a cultist muttering incantations under their breath. If only it were so easy.

Unfortunately, Danish words are very stingy regarding how they should be pronounced, so if you actually keep every syllable included you won’t be able to talk any faster than turtle-speed.

Although it may be irritating to talk so precisely, it is worth the cost. Nothing feels worse than trying to take part in a conversation, only for everyone to look at you like you’ve just spoken Cantonese.

10

Gymnasium glitch ahead As a Danish student who is soon to move from an international school to a gymnasium, Danish has suddenly become a very important factor in deciding what my choices in the future are. English-speaking schools for that age range in Denmark are few and far between, meaning that knowing Danish is a requirement I can’t avoid. Second language students beware!

For someone like me, this is a big problem. Seeing as I hardly ever use the language, my Danish is about as smooth as a door that hasn’t been oiled in 30 years. My accent isn’t pretty on the ear, so combining this with the language’s many pronunciation pitfalls makes my Danish an incomprehensible mess to listen to. I can already imagine the confusion that will ensue each time I try to answer a question at school.

kids talking to each other. “You look like shit”, one had said, before grinning as all the others ooh’ed and aah’ed at his well-thought-out insult. To say that I was a little surprised would be an understatement. Some of the kids looked like they were barely nine years old.

But I suppose things like this are to be expected when most kids are simply allowed to surf the internet to their heart’s content.

Living an adult life without Danish may be possible, but getting through gymnasium without it sure isn’t.

I’ll probably be sworn in I’ll have no problem with swearing, though. When they’re not ridiculing foreigners with frustrating Danish tonguetwisters, you’d be forgiven for thinking their knowledge of English was limited to two words: ‘fuck’ and ‘shit’.

Around the time when I’d first moved back to Denmark, I overheard some

LANGUAGE SCHOOLS GUIDE WI NT ER 2 020

Benjamin is a 15-year-old student currently enrolled at an international school, after which he plans to continue his studies at a Danish gymnasium.

OPINION Practice makes perfect, they say. But unfortunately one of the many problems associated with learning Danish is that you don’t get any practice, which makes it hard to get perfect.

Slaughtered by my daughter “The guy in the bicycle shop down the street doesn’t speak English,” I excitedly told my classmates at Danish lessons the other day. “No really, all he can say is kvickly kvickly when he points at bicycles.”

Mr Kvickly is probably wondering at this very moment why he’s had so many people in who speak dreadful Danish and never actually buy bicycles.

Opportunities to speak Danish with Danes are as rare as hen’s teeth. As a result, successful purchases in Danish are a source of great celebration for me, although regarded with relative scorn by my daughter, who has picked up Danish like a wee sponge.

Glowing with pride having bought a snow shovel and some shower curtain hooks in the hardware store recently, entirely in Danish, I asked my daughter how she thought I was doing. Was I hard to understand?

moment the flight crew come round with drinks and peanuts and I realise we’ll probably live.

At that point I shut up and don’t speak for the rest of the flight.

On a recent long-haul flight from the US to Amsterdam, the guy next to me apologised in broken English when I tried to strike up a conversation. “Sorry,” he said, keeping a grip of the novel he was probably hoping to read. “I only speaking Kurdish and Danish …”

“Nå!” I said. “Hvor er det sjovt!”

This column was originally published in December 2012

STEPHANIE BRICKMAN

“No,” she said with a pause for effect. “You’re just not very good.”

For a while I thought my daughter’s friends could be a good opportunity, being as they’re too young to speak English. That was before I realised they were actually trying to come up with ways to make me say rugbrød because they thought it was so funny.

Flakey with the oldies The saving grace has been older people. They take the time to listen to you, they are patient, they generally speak more clearly and they’re genuinely pleased that you’re learning Danish. It was just such an older lady I bumped into in Irma the other day – note well, Irma in the afternoon comes highly recommended as a place to find older people with whom to practice your Danish.

“Is this pure butter?” She asked me, holding out a tub. I read her the text on the tub with my best soft Ds. “Where are you from?” she asked. “How lovely that you’re learning Danish ...”

We had that conversation: the one about where you’re from, the one you get good at because you get to say it quite often.

Bolstered with new confidence, I wandered over to the luxury olives that cost a month’s mortgage.

But the best was yet to come. As I rounded the corner, the same lady stopped me again with a question about her cornflakes. I felt we were like old friends as I read her the ingredients, until she said once again: “Where are you from? How lovely that you’re learning Danish …” And, thanks to my new, old friend’s lack of short-term memory we had that conversation all over again.

Nowhere to take flight However pointless it may seem to learn Danish, you never know when it might prove useful. Although it’s hard to imagine a critical situation that would require it, I recently came close.

I have a totally irrational, longstanding fear of flying. It’s at its worst during takeoff and I find it calming to talk to whoever is next to me. To be honest, I probably seem slightly manic, but just as they’re thinking: “Lord help me, I have to get through seven hours with this woman prattling away,” there’s the LANGUAGE SCHOOLS GUIDE W INTE R 2 02 0

11

LEARNING DANISH IS

NO COW ON THE ICE [ “No cow on the ice” is a strange Danish way of describing things being easy ] Learn Danish – or simply improve your Danish – quick and easy at Studieskolen in the centre of Copenhagen. We guarantee the highest quality Danish lessons in an international study environment.

Find out more about our new courses every six weeks for beginners, intermediate or advanced learners at studieskolen.dk.