CPH Post Language School Guide dec 2018

LANGUAGE SCHOOL

GUIDE DECEMBER 2018

FIND IT:

Choose the right course for you

Facts: Everything you need to get started Fun: Expats share learning experiences

Photo: Tanya Vinogradova

NO MORE FREE

Danish-language classes for foreigners Each module costs 2,000 kroner, according to the government’s 2018 tax bill agreement

In a dramatic change of policy for Denmark, language classes are no longer be free for foreigners as a result of a new tax agreement approved by Parliament earlier this year.

2,000 kroner per module

The classes are still subsidised, but under the new agreement each module costs 2,000 kroner, which means the six-module course costs a total of 12,000 kroner.

In addition, students are required to pay a 1,250 kroner deposit per module, which is refundable upon completion.

“The deposit and fees charged to participants provide an incentive that should ensure that only economically self-sufficient people who are highly motivated start courses,” noted the agreement.

The new measures came into force on 1 July 2018.

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Only two providers

There have also been fundamental changes made to the system regarding language tuition for adult foreigners in Copenhagen Municipality.

Danish lessons have always been heavily subsidised but now the municipality is given a block grant instead of a ‘per person’ allowance from the government.

This was introduced mainly to encourage municipalities to tender for language school contracts in order to negotiate a lower price.

Since 1 August 2018, only two language schools have been able to offer municipal classes. A number of their competitors have either given up or had to switch to going completely private.

However, it is understood that one of the language schools that previously provided municipal lessons has decided to appeal against the municipality’s decision, so things are not entirely finalised.

Playing harder to get

The right of access to education and benefits is also being changed. At present, you have to have been in Denmark for seven out of eight years in order to qualify. That is being changed to nine out of ten years.

On top of that is a supplementary demand that the person has to have worked 2.5 of the last ten years.

The new regulations come into force from 1 January 2019 for anyone who has entered Denmark after 1 January 2008 – both foreigners and Danish citizens – but will not apply to people already receiving benefits from 1 January 2019.

Publisher: CPH POST Editor: Hans Hermansen Layout: CPH POST Info: hans@cphpost.dk, Tel: +45 2420 2411 Cover photo: Tanya Vinogradova

UCplus Sprogcenter København

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cph@ucplus.dk 10-12-2018 10:09:36

REACTION TO PAID TUITION

from the students expected to pay

CPH POST recently caught up with two internationals caught up in the dilemma of whether they should continue with their Danish lessons now that Parliament has approved plans to start charging them.

The lessons may be subsidised at specially selected schools, but the general consensus among our interviewees is that the proposed cost of 2,000 kroner per module will put many off.

The most affected group would appear to be students on a short-term visit who had previously taken advantage of the language classes to further integrate into Danish society.

Why do you think it was important to learn Danish?

What is your opinion about the decision to start charging for lessons?

Because I believe that a true international experience begins with the relationships we build with people. While it can be easy to follow a tour guide and check off a list of attractions, the more difficult task of communicating and connecting with a new society is what will enhance the overall experience and deepen cultural interest.

Name: Elin Wolker Nationality: US

Where are you from?

I was born in Sweden but grew up in Southern California to a Swedish father and Mexican mother.

Why did you come to Denmark?

I came for my study abroad exchange program at the University of Copenhagen.

How far did you get with your studies?

I started with the introduction course offered for international students at the university. I then continued for the rest of the semester with a Danish course for Scandinavians at a language school.

Since I speak Swedish and Danish pronunciation is the most challenging aspect for me.

This was a well-structured class and I learned a lot in a short amount of time. I was very satisfied with it

Why did you think it was important to learn Danish?

Because I was going to be living in Copenhagen for six months, I felt that it was important to learn and understand some of the language of the area from a cultural standpoint. More practically, the introductory Danish I learned was helpful when it came to grounding myself in a new country and navigating the city/ stores.

Name: Sara Tabatabai Nationality: US

Where are you from?

I am from Oak Creek near Milwaukee in Wisconsin, and I go to the University of Wisconsin-Madison.

Why did you come to Denmark?

I was in Denmark for a semester-long exchange at the University of Copenhagen from January to June of 2018.

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LANGUAGE SCHOOL GUIDE

I think it could affect the future of the Danish workplace immensely. The free language courses attracted not only foreign workers but international students like myself and encouraged people to learn the Danish language, assimilate into the culture and even extend their stay. I think the fees could definitely affect people’s desire to stay for an extended period of time in Denmark, as language courses won’t be as easy to access for everyone. In this sense, Danish businesses could miss out on the talent of potential foreign employees.

Would you still take the courses despite the price?

I think if I were to receive an amazing job opportunity in Denmark that was long-term and would give me great work experience in my field, I would definitely consider it. I think the language courses are worth investing in, since the benefits of learning a language are priceless have as many people engaging with the language as possible and to encourage people to stay in Denmark, then the courses should stay free or near free.

Would you still take the course despite the price?

What is your opinion about the decision to start charging for lessons?

The introductory Danish class I took was taught in a very formulaic way that necessitated us to memorise a list of words, phrases, and stories in order to pass the final exam.

There was little open discussion that deviated from these scripts. I understand that part of this was because it was an entry level language course, but because of the format I developed very little flexibility in what I could say or respond to in Danish, and this was frustrating.

It will be less attractive to those making shorter-term stays in Denmark and hamper their ability to contribute to and learn about Danish culture. This would be especially true for those with an English-language background because they are still able to easily communicate in Denmark. If the goal is to

If I had had a longer term stay in Denmark, I think I would be willing to pay the course price, but given I could have got a similar basic understanding of Danish using free apps like Duolingo, I probably wouldn’t have for my semester stay.

I think the decision to charge for lessons will strongly change the composition of individuals taking the course.

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Vi glæder os til at se dig “ We look forward to seeing you ” in Danish

EVERYONE YOU MEET seems to speak English in Denmark ...

When they first come to Denmark, many foreigners are surprised that nearly everyone they come across seems to speak English.

After all, how many bus drivers in London would be able to give you concise directions in perfect French if they were asked?

The high standard make many people wonder whether it’s worth bothering to learn Danish at all.

To learn or not to learn

Opinion is pretty much split between Copenhagen-based foreigners.

For every reason given for not wanting to learn Danish, there’s another that argues a strong case for getting the books out.

Many questioned why they should learn a language that was unlikely to be much use in the future.

More friends

However, surveys have shown that learning Danish benefits you both professionally and socially.

On the social front, learning Danish will give you insight into cultural and social norms.

It can be lonely being a foreigner in a strange land, especially if you have come here alone.

Danes can be a bit hard to get to know, so showing that you are making an effort to learn the language will be appreciated and may lead to social invitations.

Danish language classes are also sociable, providing you with an opportunity to meet people of different ages and social groups with a common interest.

Cultural insights

Ultimately it might come down to how well you want to get to know and appreciate your new home. Imagine the excitement many feel at be-

ing able to read and appreciate Hans Christian Andersen’s stories in their original language, or the philosophy of Søren Kierkegaard.

Danish also connects you with the past and the culture and history of northern Europe. It developed from Old Norse, which eventually split into Old West Norse, spoken in Norway and Iceland, and Old East Norse, spoken in Sweden and Denmark.

Eventually, Old East Norse evolved into the Danish that is spoken today. Believe it or not, there are many regional dialects in Denmark and its territories, of which many are still spoken today.

If you understand Danish you can go to more events, exhibitions and social happenings.

Learning Danish will make you aware they are happening in the first place and will also allow you to get more out of them once you are there.

Scandinavian springboard

Danish is closely related to Norwegian and Swedish, even if their Scandinavian neighbours to tend to mock the Danes for sounding as if they speak with a potato in their mouths.

Norwegian (bokmål) is almost a carbon copy of Danish, with a few distinctions irrelevant to normal every-day use. Swedish uses some unique words and phrases, but to a great extent is very understandable to Danish speakers.

Good for work

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

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LANGUAGE SCHOOL GUIDE

Having a good grasp of the language will give you greater job satisfaction. The workplace is one of the best places to improve your language skills. It also introduces you to potential Danish friends.

Keep in mind that adequate Danish language skills – including a certified exam – are also essential if you wish to get a permanent residence permit or, eventually, Danish citizenship.

So for those who want to fully immerse themselves in Danish culture, excel in the job market and make Danish friends, the word from the street is learning the language is a must!

JUMP IN Speaking Danish can be a tonguetwisting exercise for many, but do not get discouraged! Many ex-pats before you have mastered the language, and so can you. Just being immersed in Danish culture will go a long way to helping you grasp the complexities of Danish. It may sound peculiar to foreigners, but the written language is highly structured

THE JOY OF DIALECTS

Danish is the official language of Denmark, Greenland and the Faeroe Islands. Both Greenland and the Faeroe Islands have their own languages too, which most of the people speak, but Danish is used for official purposes and taught in schools.

Even though Denmark is a small country, the Danish language has a number of dialects.

The standard language, called ‘Rigsdansk’, originated around Copenhagen, and was originally based on the sociolect of the upper class of Copenhagen.

Almost every island has its own dialect, which can even be difficult to understand for Danes from other parts of the country. However, the vast majority of the population speak either standard Danish or a social variation of it.

– and give it a try!

Danish is a Germanic language and many of the words and phrases have much in common with German, French and English. For this reason, it is not exactly renowned as one of the most beautiful-sounding languages in the world.

Actually, the sound of Danish always seems to amuse foreigners, which gives the language a certain entertainment value. Foreigners often characterise Danish as a monotone-like drawl, and many people say that Danes speak as if they have a hot potato in their mouth. Of course, the Danes themselves find their language both charming and pretty, though they are aware of the fact that Danish can be difficult to learn for people from other countries.

Written Danish is characterised by a very strict norm, but the spoken language may vary considerably in pronunciation. The Danish vocabulary is not based upon an enormous amount of words, but it is in principle unlimited, as new words can freely be formed by means of compounding or deriving. Existing words are simply used to create new words and as a result of this, the largest Danish dictionaries contain more than 200,000 words.

DANISH LANGUAGE HELP With so much to cover with the Danish language, we have put together a list of resources which will help you along the learning process:

#2 You should start by familiarising yourself with the 28-letter Danish alphabet.

The Danish alphabet is derived from the Indo-European languages and is part of the Germanic languages. It uses the Standard English alphabet plus three extra vowels not found in the English language. They are: å/æ/ø. They can also be written this way: aa for å, ae for æ and oe for ø.

#3 You should check out Danish numbers, which include some important information that can save you a lot of embarrassment and confusion. Try counting to 10: 0 – nul; 1 – en; 2 – to; 3 – tre; 4 – fire; 5 – fem; 6 – seks; 7 – syv; 8 – otte; 9 – ni; 10 – ti. #4 Learn about dates and times too, since the Danes do this differently to most countries. For instance, in English we colloquially say ‘half-ten’ when we mean ‘half-past ten’, but in Danish, ‘klokken halv ti’ would be understood as 9:30.

#4 Learn some common Danish words, which might help you when doing the basics like shopping and interacting with service people. Below are some basic terms.

Hej! - Hi Goddag - Hello (formal) Hvordan Har Du Det? - How Are You? Hvad Så? (informal) - What’s Up? Farvel - Good-Bye God Morgen - Good Morning God Nat - Good Night Tak! - Thank You Undskyld Mig - Excuse Me Jeg Elsker Dig - I Love You

LANGUAGE SCHOOL GUIDE

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SO MANY LANGUAGE SCHOOLS – but which one to choose?

There are many different types of language schools offering a range of courses catering to your individual needs and circumstances. Let us help you find the school that is right for you.

Getting started

Once you have arrived here and got settled, getting started on language tuition is relatively simple and requires only that you have a Danish CPR number (civil registration number).

You will have to apply for this through the website or office of your local kommune (municipality).

In order to obtain a CPR number, you have to meet the following criteria: • You have been in Denmark for more than three months; • If you are an EU citizen, you have a registration certificate (does not apply to Nordic citizens); • If you are a non-EU citizen, you have obtained a residence permit;

• You have a valid, permanent address. A minimum length of one month’s stay is expected, but you might be asked to provide proof of three months.

All this will be checked and your registration will not be accepted if there are any anomalies.

Your registration can be cancelled if the address proves to be illegal.You will also be expected to provide other documentation, such as a valid passport, a marriage certificate if you are married and the birth certificates of your children if you have them with you.

A good place to begin your learning adventure is the De Danske Sprogcentre (the Danish Language Centres) website (bit.ly/2DQ2qO0), which brings together all of the state-approved language centres in Denmark, so that prospective students are able to decide on which institution will serve them best.

As well as teaching Danish to adult foreigners, many also offer a wide range of other courses, including special youth courses and courses on Danish culture and society.

“Our members are the only language centres in Denmark that offer state-approved Danish courses and programs. Our members are also the only institutions to conduct the exams required by the state for permanent residency and citizenship,” says the DDS.

The options:

There are long courses that run during the academic year, short intensive courses and summer courses. Depending on your needs, time, interests and prior qualifications, the main options below are available to you:

Via the municipality

Local authorities are required by law to offer Danish language and culture courses to all foreign residents. The local language schools offer courses at all levels. The target groups for these courses are new immigrants and refugees.

Due to a shake-up of the language school system, as of 1 August 2018 the municipality of Copenhagen has an agreement with two language schools to provide classes. A 1,250 kroner deposit is now payable and the modules cost 2,000

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LANGUAGE SCHOOL GUIDE

kroner each. It is also possible to study in neighbouring municipalities, such as Frederiksberg, so it is wise to go online and check individual language schools.

It is usually possible to enrol on courses several times a year. Mandatory examinations are held twice a year.

Adult learning centres

The adult learning centres (VUCs) offer courses in all general subjects for adults at lower and upper secondary school level. In addition to the general courses offered to Danes, some of the VUCs offer Danish language courses for foreigners. Each course lasts 6-12 months and comprises 240 lessons.You can obtain more information on these courses from your local municipality or from the individual adult learning centre.

If you are interested in a more intensive or perhaps a more individually designed course, you can enquire at one of the local language centres about private language teachers.

Folk high schools

Some folk high schools (folkehøjskoler) offer residential courses in Danish language and culture, either during the summer holiday (3-4 weeks) or during the autumn and spring semesters (4-5 months).These courses do not normally include formal tests or examinations.

The Secretariat for the Danish Folk High Schools will provide you with further information about courses, admission and tuition fees.Visit hojskolerne.dk for more information.

Higher education institutions

In connection with a language school, some institutions offer intensive Danish language courses at the beginning of the academic year, during the semester, or as a part of a summer university program. Students who are enrolled at the institution are not usually charged a tuition fee, but have to pay a deposit of 1,250 kroner.

Private instruction

There are many private language schools and instructors out there. This type of learning is ideal for those who don’t have time to attend scheduled classes.

BOOST YOUR CAREER OPPORTUNITIES IN DENMARK The Copenhagen Municipality is running an exciting program geared to international students Copenhagen is doing its bit to ensure that it is right up there when it comes to attracting expats with specialised skills.

Called the Greater Copenhagen Career Program, it is a 6 month mentoring and networking program for full degree international students in Greater Copenhagen.

CPH POST spoke to project manager Dorthe Kingo Vesterlund about the program.

First of all, how do you become eligible for the program?

The program is for all full degree international students in Greater Copenhagen. We take in new participants twice a year and as we have a limited number of seats, there is a selection process.

Students interested in the program have to fill out an online application form. Then we make a selection based on different criteria such as educational background (we give priority to students within engineering, IT, pharma, biotech, business & management), former work experience and the motivation to stay and work in Denmark after graduation.

What can it teach internationals that other programs can’t?

We teach the students about the Danish labour market and about job search in a Danish context. Many things here are different from what

many internationals are used to, for example the job interview situation is more relaxed and focused on more private matters than it is in many other countries.

responsible for matching the students with relevant career mentors. They also prepare the mentors for this relationship and follow up on the mentors in the six month period.

And in addition to the different job search seminars, each student gets an individual Garuda Focus Profile that helps them reflect on their strengths and weaknesses and this knowledge we help them incorporate in their CV, cover letters and in their presentations when meeting recruiters and going for job interviews.

Then we follow up on the students and have a talk with them to find out if they have experienced any challenges or just run out of ideas how to use their mentors during this period.

Usually, they meet 4-6 times during the six months.

The mentor helps with many things: feedback

I see from the program descrip- on CV and cover letter, practising the job intertion that networking is prioritised. view, helping the students navigate the Danish labour market, telling them about companies of How exactly do you do that?

Each student is matched with a volunteer career mentor within his/her own profession. The mentor can guide the student in more specific matters than we can and maybe introduce the student to people in his/her network.

relevance, helping them reflect on their career path and possible alternative career paths.

Also, we have a networking event for each group of students where we invite all students and mentors, so the students meet and talk with other mentors than his/her own. This is because networking is crucial when job searching in Denmark. We also arrange company visits where the students have the chance to see a work place and talk with the representatives.

Yes, we offer a certificate of active participation to the students that have participated in the majority of the events.

How does individual careers mentoring work in practice?

Each student is matched with a volunteer career mentor.We co-operate with two partners: Association New Dane and Perspectiv. They both have large mentor networks and they are

Do you receive a certificate of any kind when you’ve completed the program?

Finally, how would I sign up for the program?

You can sign up through our web page twice a year: https://ihcph.kk.dk/artikel/greater-copenhagen-career-program-int-students

You have to watch our short video about the program and then there will be a link to the application form at the end of the video. The next time we are opening up for applications will be January 2019.

LANGUAGE SCHOOL GUIDE

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THE DANISH LANGUAGE’S irritable vowel syndrome An overabundance of vowel sounds makes Danish a difficult language to learn – even for Danish children, say linguists

by Jennifer Buley A 15-month-old Croatian child understands approximately 150 words, while a Danish child of the same age understands just 84 on average.

It’s not because Danish kids are dumb, or because Croatian kids are geniuses. It’s because Danish has too many vowel sounds, according to Dorthe Bleses, a linguist at the Center for Child Language at the University of Southern Denmark.

“The number of vowels has big significance for how difficult it is to learn a language. Many vowels makes a difficult language,” Bleses told Weekendavisen newspaper in 2011.

Forty vowel sounds to master

The official number of vowels in Danish is nine: a, e, i, o, u, æ, ø, å and y. “’Y’ isn’t a vowel,” you say? Well, in Danish it is.

In Danish, even consonants are vowels.

But written Danish is not the issue. The

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problems start when Danes speak. In spoken speech, Danish actually has some 40 vowel sounds, explained Bleses, depending upon where the vowels are placed in words and sentence strings.

To make matters worse, modern Danes ‘swallow’ lots of the remaining consonants that would create more audible definition, or annunciation, between words. Linguists call it ‘reduction’ or ‘ellision’. It is how ‘probably’ becomes ‘probly’ in American English. In Danish, it is how ‘spændende’ becomes ‘spen-nă’, and how a simple, little sentence like ‘Det er det‘ becomes ‘dā-ă-dā’ …

Hardest to learn

While marvelling at Danish pronunciation is an amusing pastime for tourists, immigrants and other Scandinavians, the irony is that the pronunciation is terribly hard even for Danish children to learn.

Bleses researched how children in seven different cultures acquire their native languages.

Of the seven – Danish, Swedish, Dutch, French, American English, Croatian and Galician – she found that Danish was the most difficult for children to learn.

She discovered that the number of vowel sounds in a language determine not only how

many words a 15-month-old baby understands, but also the number of words a child is able to speak and use. Accordingly, the linguist contended, young Danish children have smaller vocabularies than children learning the other six languages.

A decade of development

Does the difficulty of the language have anything to do with how early children begin learning in school? Bleses thinks so.

“Of course it’s important that the teacher knows these things in the earliest school grades and can explain the difficult connection between the sounds and the letters. For that reason the learning ability can take a little longer to develop,” she told Weekendavisen.

“But the difference between the Croatian child and the Danish child doesn’t persist. Once the children have reached the third or fourth grade, the linguistic code has been cracked, and then other things have significance for whether the student learns well,” she added.

In other words, according to the linguist, it takes Danish children with Danish parents until they are nine or ten years old – in the third or fourth grade – to “crack the code” of the Danish language.

Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

LANGUAGE SCHOOL GUIDE

DANISH LANGUAGE MUCH HARDER than Norwegian and Swedish, argue linguistics experts No place in Babbel’s top nine languages easiest to learn for Anglophones

by Ben Hamilton “Daddy! Say ‘rødgrød med fløde’.”

An inaudible mumble follows. Daddy doesn’t play games – well maybe Cluedo at which he’s unbeatable because the Brits pretty much invented sleuthing – or eat Danish desserts.Yuk! It’s all harmless fun – no complexes or counselling involved – and we’ve all been there, as Danish is a difficult language to learn.

And now a list by Babbel.com has confirmed what we’ve defensively been telling our overseas relatives all these years, along with: “Well, everyone speaks such good English” and “Nobody gives us a chance to practise.”

Neighbours have it easy

According to Babbel’s experts, the easiest for Anglophones to learn are Norwegian and Swedish, two languages closely related to Danish.

But tellingly perhaps, there was no room for Danish in Babbel’s top nine, despite its Germanic roots.

Photo: Tanya Vinogradova

A number of commenters were quick to take issue with the list’s omission of Danish, but were quickly put in their place by others, who argued that the language’s pronunciation was what made it so difficult.

Far more flexible

“You’ll have a lot more leeway with pronunciation when learning Norwegian,” contends Babbel.

“That’s because there are a vast array of different accents in Norway and, therefore, more than one ‘correct way’ to pronounce words.”

Swedish, suggested Babbel, has benefited from its exposure through companies like IKEA. English speakers around the world have been exposed to a number of Swedish words while simply shopping for furniture (and chowing down on some meatballs),” it noted.

“The popular, minimalistic Lack tables are named

after the Swedish word for ‘varnish’. And the Stockholm rugs, of course, get their name from Sweden’s capital.”

Easy according to the US

However, the US government disagrees – when doesn’t it, these days!

Its foreign affairs training provider, the Foreign Service Institute, assesses Danish to be one of the world’s easiest nine languages, contending it would need 23-24 weeks (575-600 hours) to

attain a level of general professional proficiency in speaking and reading.

It places Danish alongside Afrikaans, Dutch, French, Italian, Portuguese, Romanian and Spanish – and of course Norwegian and Swedish.

Next time they’re in Copenhagen, guess who’s going to be made to order rødgrød med fløde.

The original version was first published in 2017.

LANGUAGE SCHOOL GUIDE

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Photo by Tim Gouw on Unsplash

OPINION

Cornflake-fulled language lessons

Practice makes perfect, they say. But unfortunately one of the many problems associated with learning Danish is that you don’t get any practice, which makes it hard to get perfect.

by Stephanie Brickman “The guy in the bicycle shop down the street doesn’t speak English,” I excitedly told my classmates at Danish lessons the other day. “No really, all he can say is kvickly kvickly when he points at bicycles.” Mr Kvickly is probably wondering at this very moment why he’s had so many people in who speak dreadful Danish and never actually buy bicycles.

Laughed to scorn

For a while I thought my daughter’s friends could be a good opportunity, being as they’re too young to speak English. That was before I realised they were actually trying to come up with ways to make me say rugbrød because they thought it was so funny.

as I read her the ingredients, until she said once again: “Where are you from? How lovely that you’re learning Danish …” And, thanks to my new, old friend’s lack of short-term memory we had that conversation all over again.

Golden oldies

Flying high

The saving grace has been older people. They take the time to listen to you, they are patient, they generally speak more clearly and they’re genuinely pleased that you’re learning Danish. It was just such an older lady I bumped into in Irma the other day – note well, Irma in the afternoon comes highly recommended as a place to find older people with whom to practice your Danish.

Opportunities to speak Danish with Danes are as rare as hen’s teeth. As a result, successful purchases effected in Danish are a source of great celebration for me, although regarded with relative scorn by my daughter, who has picked up Danish like a wee sponge.

“Is this pure butter?” She asked me, holding out a tub. I read her the text on the tub with my best soft Ds.

Glowing with pride having bought a snow shovel and some shower curtain hooks in the hardware store recently, entirely in Danish, I asked my daughter how she thought I was doing. Was I hard to understand?

We had that conversation: the one about where you’re from, the one you get good at because you get to say it quite often. Bolstered with new confidence, I wandered over to the luxury olives that cost a month’s mortgage.

“No,” she said with a pause for effect. “You’re just not very good.”

But the best was yet to come. As I rounded the corner, the same lady stopped me again with a question about her cornflakes. I felt we were like old friends

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“Where are you from?” she asked. “How lovely that you’re learning Danish …”

However pointless it may seem to learn Danish, you never know when it might prove useful. Although it’s hard to imagine a critical situation that would require it, I recently came close.

I have a totally irrational, longstanding fear of flying. It’s at its worst during takeoff and I find it calming to talk to whoever is next to me. To be honest, I probably seem slightly manic, but just as they’re thinking: “Lord help me, I have to get through seven hours with this woman prattling away,” there’s the moment the flight crew come round with drinks and peanuts and I realise we’ll probably live.At that point I shut up and don’t speak for the rest of the flight.

On a recent long-haul flight from the US to Amsterdam, the guy next to me apologised in broken English when I tried to strike up a conversation. “Sorry,” he said, keeping a grip of the novel he was probably hoping to read. “I only speaking Kurdish and Danish …”

“Nå!” I said. “Hvor er det sjovt!”

The original version was first published in December 2012

OPINION

Why learn Danish?

by Philip Tees

Not irrelevant

There is a certain logic to this. I have spent the majority of my career in Denmark in very international workplaces, where the working language is English. This is not uncommon – it is the case at some of Denmark’s biggest companies. I know some people who’ve lived here for the best part of a decade without learning Danish – it’s possible.

I recently started studying at a Danish university in a course taught in English. My class is a combination of international students and Danes. Since all teaching is in English, you’d think Danish would be irrelevant. But it’s not.

Splinter groups

I often find myself as the only non-Dane in a group of locals. All the work-related talk and the group conversation is in English. But then two of the group members at the other end of the table start talking between themselves and quickly switch over to Danish. If it’s a really exciting topic others might join in.

For most expats working in Denmark, Danish isn’t needed professionally but it’s very helpful socially – if nothing else, then to understand roughly what’s going on in these conversational splinter groups. There’s an element of socialis-

ing in every job and in many Danish workplaces this is quite pronounced (Danes will eat breakfast together at work at the drop of a hat).

Free classes

Not everyone will have time to prioritise language classes, but for those who do, there is very a good provision for learning Danish.

Although they are no longer free, the government funds classes during the first three years of your time in Denmark and a lot of companies and educational institutions have special classes for their employees and students.

My advice is that taking advantage of this pays off. If you live in Denmark, it’s definitely more useful than Mandarin.

The original version was first published in March 2015

Denmark’s most effective Danish courses! www.kiss.dk Photo by Dylan Nolte on Unsplash

Sometimes people ask me if it’s necessary to speak Danish to live and work in Denmark. The answer’s probably no. When I first started learning the language someone said:“I thought everyone in Denmark spoke English.You’d be better off learning Mandarin.”

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This being an English publication, we assiduously avoid speaking Danish at every opportunity. Most of us can mumble a few phrases, at various levels of competence, but it really does make your head hurt after a while.

by Ray Weaver

Choking on pork rind

Let’s face it. Danish is virtually unpronounceable to anyone not born here. I think there is a chemical reaction that happens when leverpostej is smeared on rugbrød that renders a Danish child’s tongue able to say these words.

Extra letters. Why? Really. Why? So you have a written version of something that sounds like you are choking on a pork rind?

And of course, no matter how many times our Danish friends and significant others rail at us that we should “snak dansk for helvede!”, as soon as we do, they switch to English. Their delicate ears are simply not accustomed to hearing their musical, mellifluous language spoken with an ugly coarse, foreign accent.

Heaven forfend!

Can I borrow your kok?

But, there is fun to be had whilst we wade through Danskland.

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LANGUAGE SCHOOL GUIDE

Photo: Tanya Vinogradova

OPINION

The joys of the Danish language

As a musician, I learned early on not to ask a Danish guitarist if I could borrow his pi(c)k.

My elderly mother required smelling salts and a whisky after my Danish wife told her she was very pleased that I was such a great kok in the kitchen. And my microwave calls me a slut every time my Thai box has finished heating properly.

And I’m betting that many of those reading this column have snapped a photo of at least one ‘Turistfart’ sign. I know I have. (If you are not sure why any of the above are funny, it’s your Danish assignment this week to find out why.)

Meat stuck in my tooth meat

One of the first things any expat learns to love is the literalness of Danish translations.

How can you not love a language in which the word for gums literally translates as ‘tooth meat’, a vacuum cleaner is a ‘dust sucker’ and a refrigerator is a ‘cold closet’.

It’s brilliant!

Although Danes are loathe to hear expats butcher their syntax, they are quite proud of their ability to speak English, and regale us with it at every opportunity. Unfortunately, much of their knowledge comes from

teachers. I was bemused – and a little pissed off – the first time I had a parent/teacher conference with my son’s English teacher and he told me, right up front: “I don’t speak English.”

I learnt it on DR Ultra

Many Danes get much of their English from films and, of course, there is no filter as to who is watching what when.

One of my first encounters with Danes speaking my language was in the company of a father and his two blonde-haired, blue-eyed young children on a windswept Bornholm beach. Twenty years ago, Yanks on Bornholm were a bit of a novelty, so the dad was excited to introduce me to the kids.

“This is Ray. He comes from America. He speaks English.” While I was puzzling why Daddy had not introduced me – a grown man – as Mr Weaver, I could see the blueeyed boy struggling shyly for a suitable English phrase.

“Fuck you!” he squeaked happily. “You fucking motherfucker!” his sister joyfully exclaimed.

Their dad beamed.

The original version was first published in October 2014

OPINION

Which way to the sausages?

Remember when Danish was a kind of pastry?

Well, for me, those days are now long gone and I’ve made the commitment to start language classes. At first I thought I could avoid it – Danes all speak English, don’t they?

by Stephanie Brickman Well yes, people speak English, but it won’t help you navigate the myriad of online processes necessary for normal life here.The home page displays a helpful little Union Flag, but after that you’re on your own.

You’re also on your own when you encounter one of those phone messages.You know the kind of thing: “If you have no idea what I’m saying, press one. If you are feeling completely incompetent and just want to go home, press two. If you are starting to think you really should sign up for Danish classes, press three.”

So, I signed up.

A kind of apartheid

Danish classes in Copenhagen exist under a kind of apartheid. If you speak English, at least one foreign language and have a degree, you do one kind of course. If you don’t, you do another. Expats go one way, immigrants go the other.

“Jeg hedder …” we all venture as Mette goes round the class.

do? What did you do?” It’s not terribly reassuring on the career front. Ours is an emporium of temporarily wasted talent and we’ve all pinned our hopes on learning Danish. It’s what stands between us and resurrected careers, communication with in-laws, belonging here – the list is long. But could we still end up like Guang?

“Jeg kommer fra …”

Perfectly do-able

My class is a daytime class, almost entirely female and a bastion of the well-educated following spouse. Our teacher is called Mette and is probably the most patient Danish teacher in the world.

“Dear God!” Mette says. Later I realise she was actually saying “Det er godt” (that’s good), which is a little more encouraging.

“Is it safe to speak Danish with a cough sweet in my mouth?” whispers the girl next to me. I tell her I can do the Heimlich Manoeuvre.

Dribbling idiots

Our tongues, in spasms of weird vowel sounds, dribble gently onto our text books; we look like the cast of Lars von Trier’s ‘The Idiots’, liberating our inner-morons by pretending to be adults with learning difficulties.With Mette watching over us to check noone actually chokes.

Later we rehearse sentences like “Guang is a cleaner.

In China, Guang was an economist”. “What do you

Danes will tell you that Danish is the most difficult language in the world to learn. It’s not – remember you could be learning Thai. No-one wants to think their language is easy, so don’t tell your Danish friends, but the reality is that it is a perfectly do-able language.

There are no verb endings in the present, not even a pesky third person ‘s’ like in English. There’s no future tense to learn, you just say it in the present and wave appropriately. Actually the waving might just be me.There are a couple of pages of irregular past tenses: most of them verbs so common, life will teach you them.

Polish would present you with 20 or so possible forms of every noun. Chinese has unfathomable sing-song tones. Danish only gives you one real headache and that’s the pronunciation. In other languages you’ve learned, pronunciation has probably been the icing on the cake, as grammar is usually the bedrock of making yourself understood. In Danish, unless you get the pronunciation and intonation right, no-one will ever understand you except your teacher (Mette could understand a turnip speaking Danish). So all those listen-and-repeat homework exercises aren’t just a finishing touch, they are the key to being understood.

Linguistic road kill

There’s a tenuous relationship between the way things are written in Danish and the way they’re pronounced.

Consonants are shunned in favour of mudslides of vowels. If you’re dyslexic, you will have to work twice as hard or wind up as linguistic road kill.

But the day comes when you suddenly hear what people are saying, like pictures appearing in those colour blindness tests.

“Jo!” you’ll say heartily. “Jeg taler dansk”.

You’ll never use it outside Denmark. You may rarely use it socially inside Denmark, but at least you can ask for a carrier bag in Netto without being directed to the sausages.

The original version was first published in October 2012

LANGUAGE SCHOOL GUIDE

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“Opening a Danish textbook could be your next big career move”

Alejandro, engineer from Co´rdoba.

Sign up for intensive Danish courses in Hellerup and Lyngby sprogcenterhellerup.dk

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23/10/17 09.46