February 2017 Costa Link Magazine

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February 2017 N°119

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No1

MARBELLA

AUTOMOTIVE•ELECTRONIC•DIAGNOSTIC

Computer Problems? we can help....

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Glass Curtains costadelhome.com intelligent property search

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Happy Valentine’s Day!

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Ed’s Note..

It’s February already and love is in the air! Valentines Day is fast approaching and it will be time to celebrate the romance in your lives. Some of you may think it’s one big commercial rip off however just a little hint to you men - all women believe in Valentines Day no matter what they may say to the contrary… To get a few tips on the romance front check out our guide to the most romantic films ever on pages 18 & 19, even the least romantic of you will get in the mood! If you haven’t got a date yet then get yourself on to Expat dating see page 41 for their ad.

One of my favourite days comes round again this month, it’s Pancake Day on the 28th, how many can you eat?

I hope you have a great month!

in the February Magazine...

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Women’s World this month: Get your other half housetrained...!

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???

Solutions on page 80 Pit your brains against the TRIVIA QUIZ, questions for all ages from 6 -116!

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Gadgets & Gizmo’s: Fantastic new stuff for the geek in you this month, who knew but cassette tape are making a come back!

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A Man’s World: Tying the knot, some handy advice before you commit!

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State Rides: Donald Trump will be receiving his brand new presidential Cadillac, what do other world leaders get driven around in? See page 54...

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Solutions on page 80 Puzzle It Out... Puzzles galore challenge those little grey cells.

Email: sales@costalinkmagazine.com Website: www.costalinkmagazine.com Facebook: facebook.com/costa.link.spain Whatsapp: 663 061 669 or Tweet: @costa_link

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The kid’s page this month... Feel the love with Pooh and friends!

What’s On Guide... Lots on this month including a music & film camp also an obstacle course in Malaga port and the Marbella Carnival.

HOW TO CONTACT US Call: 951 254 222 or 663 061 669

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The Jokes Page: Laugh out loud or get some giggles on page 72!!!

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Business Directory... Can’t find that all important contact see page 76.

facebook.com/Costa.Link.Spain/

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No part of this publication, including layout, graphic design or pictures may be copied, SCANNED, used or reproduced without our prior written consent. Costa Link Magazine accepts no responsibility for alterations to events listed, claims made by our advertisers or information provided by our contributors. All rights reserved © 2016. Deposito Legal: MA-228-2007

to advertise in costa link magazine please call 951 254 222 or 663 061 669

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• All advertisers have FREE INCLUSION in the business directory

• All advertisers have THEIR OWN PAGE on the Costa Link Magazine website with map & link to their Facebook page, website & lots more...

• All advertisers have FREE INCLUSION in the on-line business directory • NUMBER ONE ‘Costa del Sol magazine’ on Google for over 7 years

email: sales@costalinkmagazine.com web: www.costalinkmagazine.com

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Nยบ1 Magazine Costa del Sol on Nยบ1 Business Directory Costa del Sol on More likes than any other Costa del Sol Magazine on What is the point of advertising anywhere else?

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tel: 951 254 222 or 663 061 669

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A Woman’s World

Special Classes for Men..

Class One: How to Fill Up the Ice Cube Trays...

Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.

Meeting every 4 weeks, Monday & Wednesday 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class Two: The Toilet Paper Roll...

Does it changes itself? Round Table Discussion. Meeting every 2 weeks, Saturdays 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class Three: Is It Possible to Urinate Using the

Technique of Lifting the Seat and avoiding the Floor/Walls and Nearby Bathtub?

Group Practice. Meeting every 4 weeks, Saturdays 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class Four: Fundamental Differences Between the Laundry Basket and the Floor.

Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meeting every Saturday at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Loss of Identity....

Losing the Remote to Your Significant Other.

Class Six:

Help Line Support and Support Groups.

Meeting 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00PM.

Class Seven: Learning How to Find Things....

Starting with looking in the right places.

instead of turning the house upside down while screaming. Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class Eight: Health Watch...

Buying her flowers is not harmful to your health.

Graphics and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00PM for 2 hours.

Class Nine: After Dinner Dishes. Can They Levitate and Fly Into the Kitchen Sink?

Examples on Video. Meeting every 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Is it genetically impossible to sit Lost. Real Life Testimonials. Tuesdays at 6:00 quietly while she parallel parks? Driving

Class Five: Real Men ask for Directions When PM, location to be determined.

Class Ten:

Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturdays at noon, 2 hours.

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HOT GOSSIP...

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p i s s z i o b G how S

QUEEN ELIZABETH SLAMS THE CROWN... She refuses To Watch ‘Insulting’ TV Drama. Queen Elizabeth isn’t interested in watching herself on an insulting television drama. In fact, royal insiders say there’s no way Queen Elizabeth would take time out of her busy schedule to watch Netflix’s controversial series, ‘The Crown.’ Sources say that unlike other royals, the Queen isn’t a fame-seeking celeb who wants to see herself on television. Even though ‘The Crown’ has had lots of rave reviews for its portrayal about the early reign of Queen Elizabeth, she is yet to sit down and watch it. The series traces the her life from her wedding day in 1947 to the present day. It is expected to span 60 episodes in over six seasons.

ANGELINA’S DIVORCE TAKES ITS TOLL… Friends fear for the star’s health. Angelina Jolie appeared upbeat as she enjoyed a family ski trip to Colorado last month, five months on from her shock split from Brad Pitt. However, Angelina, 41, is looking worryingly tiny – her legs painfully thin and her cheekbones razor-sharp. A source reveals: ‘Angelina has dropped to her lowest weight ever. Insiders are claiming she’s just 78lb [5st 6lb]. She’s so frail, everyone around her fears for her health. She’s been emotionally strained since the split from Brad and it’s affected her appetite. She wants to get her life back on track but she’s struggling. Pals say even Brad has voiced his concern and has asked mutual friends to step in and help.’

NEW SERIES OF CELEBS GO DATING… More celebrity dates on E4.

Forgetting his romance with Stephanie Pratt last time around, for the second series Joey Essex is determined to actually follow the rules. Hollyoaks actress Jorgie Porter, TOWIE and I'm a Celebrity star Ferne McCann, Diversity's Perri Kiely, Kim Kardashian's BFF Jonathan Cheban and Pussycat Doll Melody Thornton join him…

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HOT GOSSIP...

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p i s s z i o b G how S

BINKY EXPECTING BABY WITH JP... But they're 'still not officially together'. Made In Chelsea star Alexandra 'Binky' Felstead has confirmed she is expecting a baby with her co-star Josh 'JP' Patterson. The model, 26, said the news has come as a 'huge shock' but will start a new chapter in their lives, even though they are not currently in a relationship. The couple's turbulent history has been documented in the E4 reality show and Felstead told Hello! magazine: It's obviously been a huge shock to both of us. Binky posted a picture of her bump on social media, writing: 'When you get the best surprise you never knew you always wanted ... There's a little 'buh' on the way.'

She also told Hello! 'This is a new start and a new chapter in our lives. I want to be a little family, to be honest. But I'm going to be OK either way.

ED BALLS IS THE MAIN ATTRACTION... at Strictly Come Dancing's live tour. He captured peoples hearts when he waltzed and wobbled his way through last year's Strictly Come Dancing, and it's safe to say Ed Balls is a massive hit he gets rounds of "thunderous applause" and calls for an encore, it's no doubting that Ed Balls is the true star of the live tour, continuing throuhout the UK this year.

LAUREN GOODGER WEDDING... She’s already talking wedding dresses!

Despite him being banged up, she’s busy planning their big day. It’s no secret that Lauren Goodger is desperate for a baby, but when your man is banged up behind bars, what to do? Joey is currently six years into part of a 16-year prison sentence.

It would be a deal-breaker for most people, but Joey’s criminal past is one of the reasons Lauren, also 30, is so besotted with him. According to reports, Joey could be getting out of prison as soon as next month and if Lauren gets her way they’ll be heading straight down the aisle.

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of the best

Chat Up Lines

It is a much maligned feature of singledom, but there’s a lot to be said in favour of the humble chat up line. If you fancy a cosy date for Valentines night then why not try your luck with one of these beauties. If you don’t know how to break the ice, trotting out a trusted one-liner at least shows the object of your desires that you are interested in them. Delivering a chat-up line, in the right way, can show you have confidence with women/men, but don’t take yourself too seriously. Here are some of the most successful types of chat-up line…

Chat-up lines to lure the lady or gentlemen, try these clever quips: •Do you have the telephone number for the Ordnance Survey team?

I’ve just discovered a sight of outstanding natural beauty.

"Nice dre • Inheriting €50 million doesn’t mean much when Can I talk ss. yo you’re lonely every night. out of it? u " •Would you find it agreeable to partake in some light refreshment with me.

Straight To The Point: •One of us keeps thinking about sex… OK, I admit it, it’s me.

•So does this count as our first date?

•I bet you’ve heard every line in the book, so let’s skip it and go straight to kissing.

•I’m going to tell my friends I scored, so why don’t you just say yes anyway.

•Let’s get you out of this cold bar and into my nice warm bed.

Continued on page 20...

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The Top

12 RomanticofFilms all time...

Casablanca (1942)

In this timeless classic, Humphrey Bogart plays a man scorned by the love of his life, played by the mesmerising Ingrid Bergman. Most romantic moment: Unquestionably, that heartbreaking airfield climax: "It doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world."

Breakfast At Tiffany's (1961)

Audrey Hepburn brings Truman Capote's Holly Golightly to life in this big-screen adaptation of the more cynical novel. Most romantic moment: The final scene of course, in which Holly finds Paul (and her cat) in the pouring rain and they embrace.

When Harry Met Sally (1989)

A witty 80’s romance Harry & Sally, two lifelong friends searching for love who realise they might just have found it in one another. Most romantic moment: Harry's speech to Sally, which ends with: I came here tonight because when you realise you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

Slumdog Millionaire (2008)

An adaptation about a young boy from the Mumbai slums who ends up winning the top prize on the Indian version of 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire?' Most romantic moment: The first kiss that Jamal & Latika share is relatively low-key. But the look in their eyes, and the dance sequence that intersperses their embrace, signifies a lifelong happiness.

West Side Story (1961)

Loosely based on the story of Romeo and Juliet, it follows two New Yorkers from opposing gangs who fall in love. Most romantic moment: As Tony sneakily climbs up the fire escape to reach Maria and profess his love, the couple sings 'Tonight' together. If only this happened in real life, eh girls?

Titanic (1997)

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"I'll never let go, Jack!" Rose (Kate Winslet) famously cries as she hurls her lover into the Atlantic. Most romantic moment: The bit in the steamy car. car. Jack Jack's (Leonardo DiCaprio) (Leonardo DiCaprio) hasjust justpopped popped Rose's Rose's cherry but, as she rightly observes, he's the one who's trembling, proving that his boat's been rocked just as much as hers by their meeting.

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In need of inspiration for the most romantic Valentine’s night you’ve ever had? Look no further than these two pages, these are the most sentimental & slushy movies guaranteed to make you go gooey all over!

Lost In Translation (2003)

A poignant story about two lost souls that come together in a Tokyo hotel winning 71 awards in its year of release. Featuring Bill Murray as a depressed actor going through a midlife crisis. Most romantic moment: Murray gets out of his cab, runs to Johansson and they share a tearful & touching goodbye - we never hear what he whispers in her ear.

Grease (1978)

Big hair, big songs, big love and sickly-sweet gimmicks abound in this fun-loving 70s musical drama. Most romantic moment: The opening scene in which Sandy and Danny run the length of a beach, playing and holding hands - it shows Danny as he is before his tough guy persona kicks in.

From Here To Eternity (1953)

From Here To Eternity tells the story of four soldiers stationed in Hawaii prior to the Pearl Harbour attack and the women they meet. Most romantic moment: The unforgettable steamy kiss between Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr on the beach: "I never knew it could be like this, nobody ever kissed me the way you do."

An Affair To Remember (1957)

Deborah Kerr and a very charming Cary Grant, meet each other on a cruise and fall in love. The only problem: they're both engaged, to different people. Most romantic moment: The penultimate embrace, following the moment Terry realises that Nickie cannot walk and that that's why she never came to meet him.

Sleepless In Seattle (1993)

Before the dawn of the internet, Hank's onscreen son calls a radio show on behalf of his father to find him a woman. When Meg, who is already engaged to someone else, replies, it's only a matter of time before the inevitable meeting occurs. Most romantic moment: The monologue in which Sam describes how he loved his deceased wife to his psychiatrist.

Ghost (1990)

What would a top romantic films list be without Ghost? Patrick Swayze realises his girlfriend (Demi Moore) is in danger, and tries to protect her from beyond the grave. Whoopi Goldberg provides the, ahem, comic relief. Most romantic moment: Definitely the pottery scene; no words, just a lot of hands, clay and action.

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of the best

Chat Up Lines

Break the ice by laughing and you are already halfway towards your first date: •I’ve come to say hi because the voices in my head told me to.

•Did you just squeeze my bum? No? Would you like to?

•You’ve got a mobile number, I’ve got the ability to write stuff down, let’s do this thing.

•Roses are red; violets are blue… nope nothing rhymes with I’m a great lover.

•My magic watch says you’re naked… oh wait, it’s an hour fast.

•Given that the Universe is infinite, and within that Universe God is invisible yet omnipresent, would you come home with me?

"Should •How many drinks do I need to buy before you give me I call you in th your number. e mo or nudge

rning you?"

A self-deprecating line can be as effective as demonstrated confidence but in a non-threatening manner: •Is it OK if I continue to gaze in admiration at you while you continue to ignore my presence.

•Can I watch you from here, you don’t need to speak to me.

•Can I buy you a drink, you don’t have to acknowledge me.

•I’ll kick myself all night if I don’t at least try to get your number.

•Five euros says you’re going to turn me down.

The success of a chat-up line depends as much on the delivery as it does on the actual words chosen. Let us know how it goes!

FOR SALE 2013 VW GOLF

2.0 litre Turbo Diesel Sport 56,000 kms, Automatic, Near Perfect Condition Full Service History 20

€15,000 Tel: 952-452-025

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TRIVIA QUIZ

1) Which playwright described fox hunting as “the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable?”

2) What is the correct anatomical name for the thighbone?

3) The Daiquiri cocktail was named after a village on which island country?

4) Which hero's archenemy is Dr. Robotnik?

5) Through which country does the Orinocco river run for most of its 1000 miles?

6) Complete the lyrics of a well known Beatles song - Picture yourself in a boat on a river with Tangerine Trees and ...?

7) What do Micra, Prarie and Primera have in Common?

8) Which food is eaten the most throughout the world?

9) From which musical does the duet I know him so well come?

10) According to the proverb what is the road to hell paved with?

11) Which food not rationed during World War II, was rationed after it?

12) In which year did Winston Churchill die?

13) What is the name of the marmalade cat created by Kathleen Hale, which shares its name with an American city?

14) For what is the Medoc area of France famous?

15) What are Cheshire, Gouda and Gorgonzola?

16) How is Cherilyn La Pier better known?

17) How is the UK golfing term albatross known in America?

18) Which monarchs sat on the Peacock throne?

19) Who first claimed that the

world was not flat but a sphere?

20) Which animals communicate by touch, smell & dance?

21) Which word-meaning letter is in titles of books of the bible?

22) What paper is used to test acid and alkali?

23) How many seconds are there in a quarter of an hour?

24) What type of animal is a vmi vmi?

25) What is the common name for Japanese horseradish?

26) What is the largest peninsula in the world?

27) Which two women did their husband, Henry VIII, behead?

28) Where would you find the Sea of Tranquility?

29) What is someone who shoes horses called?

30) What is the diameter of Earth?

Answers on page 80

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Working On The Costa Del Sol Since 1990

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An Inking Catastrophe

A furious row has broken out between a local tattoo artist and his client...

After what started out as a routine inking session, left both of them requiring emergency hospital treatment. Vintage film fan and part time plus size model Tracey Munter (23), had visited the Black Ink Tattoo Emporium in Carr Lane last week to have the finishing touches applied to a double buttock representation of the chariot race scene from the iconic 1959 film, Ben Hur. Tattooist Jason Burns takes up the story.

“It was a big job in more ways than one.” he told us “I’d just lit a roll up and was finishing off a centurions helmet. It’s delicate, close up work. Next thing is, I sense a slight ripple in her buttock cleavage area just around Charlton Heston’s whip, and a hissing sound – more of a whoosh than a rasp – and before I know what’s happening, there’s a flame shooting from her bottom up to my roll-up and her lady parts have gone up like an Aussie bush fire.”

Jason says he rushed to the studio sink to quell the flames, only to turn round and see Tracey frantically fanning her buttock area with a damp towel. The flames had travelled down the gas cloud and set fire to her thong which was smoking like a cheap firework.

“To be honest”, said Jason, “I didn’t even realise she was wearing one. You’d need a sodding mining licence and a torch to find out for sure. She could have had a complete wardrobe in there and I’d have been none the wiser.”

Continued on page 28...

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An Inking Catastrophe

Continued... Jason and Tracey were taken to Hull Royal Infirmary A&E where they were treated for minor burns and shock. Both are adamant that the other is to blame.

“I’m furious” said Jason, “I’ve got a face like a mange-ridden dog and my left eyebrow's not there any more. I don’t know about Ben Hur – Gone With The Wind’s more like it.

You don’t just let rip in someone’s face like that. It’s dangerous.”

But Tracey remains both angry and unrepentant; “I’m still in agony,” she said, “And Charlton Heston looks more like Sidney bloody Poitier now. Jason shouldn’t have had a fag on the go, and there’s no way I’d guff on purpose. He’d had me up on his bench on all fours for nearly an hour. I can only put up with that for so long before nature takes its course. My Kev knows that. I give him my five second warning and I’d have done the same for Jason, but I didn’t get chance – it just crept out.”

Ted Walters from the Humberside Fire and Rescue service wasn’t surprised when we told him what had happened “People just don’t appreciate the dangers....

HE TOLD US, “We get called out to more flatulence ignition incidents than kitchen fires these days, now people have moved over to oven chips. We have a slogan ‘Flame ‘n fart – keep ’em apart’. Anyone engaging in an a bottom inking scenario would do well to bear that in mind in future.”

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We are proud to announce the recent opening of our new outlet in El Zoco, Calahonda on the N340!

But don’t panic, this does not mean you have to wait weeks for delivery! We still have the most extensive stock of British beds and sofas on the coast, but you can now come and try them out in our much more comfortable surroundings. The best part is that everything is still direct from the warehouse; so at a fraction of the cost! We are also now supplying British SOLID OAK household furniture in a range of styles as well as quality. British bedding and mattress toppers in all sizes.

We supply the retail shops so visit ‘THE BED WAREHOUSE’ directly to save money now!

Top Quality British Beds & Mattresses at Unbeatable Prices Top name brands such as SEALY, SILENTNIGHT & RELYON REST ASSURED etc...

• All Sizes - Specialising in SUPER KING • Woodframe • Metalframe

• Drawer Divans • Ottoman storage beds (*all sizes) • Guest beds

• Children’s Beds • Orthopaedic • Pocket sprung, memory foam, pillow top etc

TOP NAME SOFAS - DFS, HARVEYS & SOFAWORKS www.bedwarehousespain.com Open Mon-Fri, 10 til 5 & Saturday 10 til 2 bedwarehousespain@hotmail.com For Immediate Courteous Attention

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NEW OUTLET!

Find us on the 1st floor of Centro Comercial El Zoco, Calahonda

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GADGETS &Gizmo’s The new Vertu Constellation phone, crafted from anodized aluminium and finished with specialist leather. A ruby located on the side of the phone provides access to a hour Concierge service.

Running on Android with Dolby Surround and dual Sim, there are no prices yet – but it won’t be cheap!

Dubreq, original makers of The Stylophone have just released news of their Gen X-1: an updated model of the iconic portable toy synthesizer that adds new features and new sounds in the compact package. Just like the original that debuted in 1968 the built-in speaker remains, as does the stylus you will need to start making noise. This new Stylophone has a 3.5mm headphone jack and will be around 70€ when it comes out in May.

Delivery robots are starting to hit the streets, this Fundroid debuted in New York. Nicknamed Funnie, made its way to a nearby pizza store and bar and is able to order and pay for food instead of simply picking up and delivering a paid-for meal. Crudely finished resembling a junkyard sculpture and running on Windows 95 it is legally old enough to order alcohol unfortunately there are no plans to put it into production.

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Cassette tape sales actually grew in 2016 by an impressive 74 percent increase from the number sold in 2015. Cassette albums from Justin Bieber and The Weeknd certainly contributed, as did re-issued versions of Eminem's The Slim Shady LP and Prince and The Revolution's Purple Rain. The Guardians of the Galaxy: Awesome Mix Vol. 1 soundtrack was the most popular, as fans wanting an exact replica of the tape that Star-Lord plays on repeat.

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All the latest in the world of tech and gaming...

The impact of Akai's MPC series cannot be overstated.

The first model in the late 80s, opened up music production to a whole new audience. The new MPC Live has onboard storage for samples a 7” touchscreen where you can browse, edit and arrange your sounds and you no longer need to connect it to a PC/Mac making it a portable, standalone music production center. The new MPC X has 10-inch touchscreen, more rotary controls and additional MIDI ports and CV connections.

We are now used to seeing electric vehicles on the roads, but Indian manufacturer Mahindra has introduced the GenZe an electric scooter. It is easy to charge with a removable battery, which will run up to 40 kms at speeds up to 40kph.

Vizio have just launched their new smartcast app. The app enables all Vizio equipped TVs and sound systems to play anything you require with you lifting a finger. Working in conjunction with Google Home just say, “ok Google, put the television” and tell it what you want to see.

All-in-one or laptop computer's built-in speakers are "okay," at best. But Dell’s new XPS 27 all-in-one refresh takes its audio setup very seriously. It features ten speakers, including four full-range drivers, two tweeters for high notes, a couple of passive radiators for deeper bass and two down-firing speakers for fill-sound. It is available now from 1499€

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High School Reunion

Jean, Sue, and Mary haven't seen each other since leaving School.

They rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange to meet for lunch in a wine bar. Jean arrives first, wearing a beige Versace dress. She orders a bottle of Pinot Grigio.

Sue arrives shortly afterwards, wearing a grey Chanel number. After the initial hugs and kisses she joins Jean in a glass of wine.

Then Mary walks in, wearing a faded t-shirt, blue jeans & boots. She too shares the wine.

Jean explains that after leaving school and attending Oxford University, she met and married Timothy, with whom she has a beautiful daughter. Timothy is a partner in one of London’s leading law firms. They live in a 4000m2 apartment on Park Lane, she has a daughter called Susanna, she attends drama school. They have a 2nd home in Portugal.

Sue relates that she graduated from Cambridge University,studied to become a doctor and became a surgeon. Her husband, Clive, is a leading financial investment banker in the City. They live in the Surrey stockbroker belt and have a second home in Italy.

Mary explains that after she left school at 17 she ran off with her boyfriend Mark. They run a tropical bird park in Essex and grow their own vegetables. Mark can stand five parrots, side by side, on his erect penis.

Halfway down the third bottle of wine and several hours later, Jean blurts out that her husband is really a cashier at Tesco’s. They live in a small flat in Bromley and have a caravan parked on the front drive.

Sue, chastened and encouraged by her old friend's honesty, explains that she and Clive are both nursing care assistants in an old peoples home. They live in Peckham and take camping holidays in Kent.

Mary admits that the fifth parrot has to stand on one leg.

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February 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/17 4:53 pm Page 35

Now Booking Christmas 2017 Benidorm: 5 Nights, 6 Days - 23rd to 28th December 450€ Per Person - 550€ For Singles ALREADY 2 THIRDS FULL BOOK NOW!

February 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/17 4:53 pm Page 36

your MIND ownB BUSI

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This print business specialising in printing logos and designs on clothing, beer towels, mugs, mouse mats etc. as well as shop and vehicle signage has been established on the Costa del Sol for 16 years. The owner has other business commitments and has scaled the operation down and it is now run part time from home, but could be expanded again very easily.

www.business-sales-spain.com Telephone: 951 254 222 Mobile: 663 061 669 info@business-sales-spain.com

February 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/17 4:53 pm Page 37

BUSINESS SINESS

SALES

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RENTALS

WANTED! dead or alive

RESTAURANT LA CALA REWARD UP TO 70.000 EURO WE URGENTLY NEED MORE BUSINESSES FOR SALE To receive updates on all new instructions go to: www.facebook.com/business.sales.spain and press like.

February 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/17 4:53 pm Page 38

your MIND ownB B U S I

Advertising your business for s NO up front fees NO hidden charges

Popular Sports Bar/Restaurant 75.000€

Sports themed bar and restaurant Large regular clientèle With an excellent reputation on the outskirts of Marbella.

Well Known Card and Party Shop in Mijas Costa 25.000€ Established on the Costa del Sol for 10 years.

Highly visible from the main road.

Selection of FANTASTIC Restaurants 25.000€ - 190.000€

Benalmadena, Calahonda, Duquesa, Estepona, Fuengirola, Mijas, Sabinillas & San Pedro. All with VERY HIGH ratings on Tripadvisor...

Curtain and Fabric Shop Fuengirola 34.950€ Well known curtain and fabric shop.

Established for twelve years.

The business will be sold to include all stock.

www.business-sales-spain.com Telephone: 951 254 222 Mobile: 663 061 669 info@business-sales-spain.com

February 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/17 4:54 pm Page 39

BUSINESS S I N E S S

S A L E S

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for sale in Spain and the UK NO advertising fees NO sale - NO fee

PROPERTY MANAGEMENT COMPANY WANTED We have buyers waiting.

They have funds available to purchase immediately and are very keen to find a business as soon as possible.

Laundry - Torremolinos 50.000€

This well established laundry has been trading for over 20 years.

It is located in a very high profile position on a very busy road.

Parking is available nearby and there is constant foot fall.

Large House in Coin set in 20,000m2: 537.000€

A large house in Coin, let all year on holiday basis producing circa of 100.000€ income each year.

MARBELLA Choice of 2 fromPORT 35.000€ Choice of two bars 100.000€ 120.000€ Car Body Shop & Sprayers,to Marbella: Onelocations of them being frontline, Both in great in Marbella from 35.000€ both refurbished to a very high standard.

WE URGENTLY NEED MORE BUSINESSES FOR SALE To receive updates on all new instructions go to: www.facebook.com/business.sales.spain and press like.

February 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/17 4:54 pm Page 40

Sniffer the Wonder Dog...

A man had just boarded and settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his dog in the middle seat next to the man. The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why the dog was allowed on the plane. The second man explained that he was from the Police Drugs Enforcement Agency and that the dog was a 'sniffing dog'. 'His name is Sniffer and he's the best there is. I'll show you once we get airborne, when I put him to work.' The plane took off, and once it has levelled out, the Policeman said, 'Watch this.'

He told Sniffer to 'Search'. Sniffer jumped down, walked along the aisle, and finally sat very purposefully next to a woman for several seconds.

Sniffer then returned to his seat and put one paw on the policeman's arm.

The Policeman said, 'Good boy', and he turned to the man and said, 'that woman is in possession of marijuana, I'm making a note of her seat number and the authorities will apprehend her when we land.’ 'Gee, that's pretty good,' replied the first man.

Once again, the Policeman sent Sniffer to search the aisles. The dog sniffed about, sat down beside a man for a few seconds, returned to its seat, and this time he placed two paws on the agent's arm. The Policeman said, 'Two paws mean that man is carrying cocaine, so again, I'm making a note of his seat number for the police.'

'I like it!' said his seatmate.

The Policeman then told Sniffer to 'Search' again. Sniffer walked up and down the aisles for a little while, sat down for a moment, and then came racing back to the agent, jumped into the middle seat and proceeded to poop himself. The first man was really disgusted by this behaviour and couldn't figure out how or why a well-trained dog would behave like that.So he asked the Policeman, 'What's going on?'

The Policeman nervously replied, 'He's just found a bomb.'

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February 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/17 3:06 pm Page 41

Inland Property Specialist Thinking of putting your property on the market?

Selling, Buying or Renting contact us directly or visit our website at: www.olivebranchpropertiesspain.com info@olivebranchpropertiesspain.com

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February 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/17 3:06 pm Page 42

February 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/17 3:06 pm Page 43

February 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/17 3:06 pm Page 44

A Man’s World

MARRIAGE QUOTES BY MEN...

• It's not true that married men live longer than single men.

It only seems longer.

• A man was complaining to a friend: 'I had it all - money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman; then, Pow! It was all gone!' 'What happened?' asked the friend.

'My wife found out.'

• I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

• Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

• Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. Husband: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.

• A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, 'Martha, pack up your things! I just won the lottery!' Martha replies, 'Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?' The man responds, 'I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the house by noon!'

• Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street bald and still think they are beautiful!

• I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months...

I don't like to interrupt her.

• A married man should forget his mistakes. There’s no point in two people remembering the same thing.

• A man is incomplete until he is married.

After that, he is finished.

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The Brit Pack HD Satellite Systems m FroTHE

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www.theskydoctor.com from the longest serving satellite & IPTV company on the coast

Call: 952 763 840 / 635 400 099

February 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/17 3:06 pm Page 46

Medical Mayhem

Bodily Facts:

• The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

• Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

• You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.

• The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

• The ashes of the average cremated person weigh nine pounds.

• Humans shed about 600,000 particles of skin every hour.

• Ingrown toenails are hereditary.

• If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you will have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

• Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

• Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.

• The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

• If you are locked in a completely sealed room, you will die of carbon dioxide poisoning first before you will die of oxygen deprivation.

• Babies are born without knee caps. They don't become bone until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

• If you farted consistently for 6 years & 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

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February 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/17 3:06 pm Page 47

THE ENGLISH DENTAL PRACTICE Dr. Alex McCubbin

Susana Lucena - Hygienist

Tel: 952 466 056 www.englishdentalpractice.com info@englishdentalpractice.com

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Medical Tips

February 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/17 3:07 pm Page 48

HOW TO BRUSH YOUR TEETH (PART TWO)...

ARE YOU USING THE CORRECT ACTION! Brushing your teeth is not just for a whiter smile and fresher breath, it's critical for your overall health.

When you brush, you remove plaque a thin film of bacteria that sticks to your teeth and will create cavities, gum disease, and if you ignore it long enough, will cause your teeth to fall out! You know why to brush, but if you would like to learn how to brush your teeth efficiently, these suggestions will help.

USE A SMALL AMOUNT OF TOOTHPASTE...

Squeeze only a pea-sized amount of toothpaste onto your toothbrush. Applying too much toothpaste can cause over-sudsing, tempting you to spit and finish too early. Plus, it increases the risk of you ingesting more fluoride-filled toothpaste, which is very unhealthy.

If brushing is painful, try brushing more gently with accurate up/down motion only or switch to a toothpaste formulated for sensitive teeth.

Set your bristles at the gum line at a 45-degree angle.

Gently brush with a short, vertical or circular motion.

Don't brush across your teeth. You could always ask your dentist or hygienist to present you the correct brushing technique.

SPEND AT LEAST THREE MINUTES BRUSHING... Brushing just a few teeth at a time, work your way around your mouth in a circle so that you get every tooth, spending about 12 to 15 seconds in each spot.

If it helps, you can divide your mouth into quadrants: top left, top right, bottom left, and bottom right. If you spend 30 seconds on each quadrant, you'll get a full two minutes of brushing time in. •Try starting at the outside lower left teeth, moving to the outside lower right, then outside upper right to upper left.

Change to inside uppers and brush inside upper right, inside lower right, and finally inside lower left. •If you get bored, try brushing your teeth while watching television or hum a song to yourself while you brush.

Brushing your teeth for the duration of an entire song will ensure that you brush thoroughly!

Brush your molars: Position the toothbrush so that it's perpendicular to your lips, or so that the bristles are resting on top of your bottom molars. Work the toothbrush in an in-and-out motion, and move from the back of your mouth to the front. Then complete this motion doing s rotational movement of the brush in order to eliminate bacteria, which have been dislocated from the surface. Repeat on the other side of your mouth. When the bottom teeth are clean, flip the toothbrush over and work on the top molars.

Brush the inner surfaces of your teeth: Tip the toothbrush so that the head of the toothbrush is pointing towards your gum line, and brush each tooth. Dentists report that the most commonly skipped area is the inside of the lower front teeth, so be sure not to forget those! Check that your mouth is opening wide enough by holding teeth apart with two or three fingers of your other hand. This will allow correct vertical angle to reach edge of gum.[9] Gently brush your tongue: After you've cleaned your teeth, use the bristles of your toothbrush to gently clean your tongue. (Don't press too hard, or you'll damage the tissue.) This helps keep bad breath away and gets rid of bacteria on your tongue.

Rinse out your mouth: If you choose to rinse after brushing, take a sip of water from a disposable cup, or cup your hands under the faucet. Swish it around your mouth, and spit it out.

Rinse your toothbrush: Hold your toothbrush under running water for a few seconds to remove any bacteria from the brush. If you don't rinse the toothbrush properly, you can actually introduce old bacteria into your mouth the next time you use it. Rinsing also removes any leftover toothpaste. Place your toothbrush somewhere where it will readily dry out. Otherwise, bacteria can grow.

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CHECK OUT... Our website at www.costalinkmagazine.com for lots more Medical Tips!

February 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/17 3:07 pm Page 49

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Health & Well Being

February 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/17 3:07 pm Page 50

With sites like Instagram, Tumblr, and Pinterest making a case for multiple piercings, salons have seen an influx of a young clientele looking for more and more outrageous places to get pierced. When it comes to emulating a celebrity's look stars like Beyoncé and Bella Thorne, the sexiest and possibly most attainable part, outside of their lipstick or clothing range is their body piercings. But celebs don't leave these piercing to just anyone, and neither should you, check out the person doing the piercing or better still get a recommendation from someone that has used them before…

3 THINGS TO KNOW BEFORE YOU GO IN FOR A PIERCING...

USING A NEEDLE IS LESS TRAUMATIC EVEN THOUGH IT SOUNDS SCARIER

Many people received their first piercings as children, using a gun. While a gun appears to be less traumatic than a giant needle, piercing with a needle is faster and less painful than the piercing gun. The needle pierces with little trauma to the ear and is used only once and then discarded into a sharps container. The needle really is a safer and less painful way to pierce.

AVOID HYDROGEN PEROXIDE, ANTISEPTIC CREAM OR LIQUID WHEN CLEANING YOUR PIERCING

Many people worry about causing an infection with their new piercing, you do need to be careful about how you’re cleaning it. Many of us run to the hydrogen peroxide bottle when we get a cut to help kill bacteria and prevent infection, but using gentle, natural soap and water which is better. Your body has an immune system.

Let it do its job. It doesn’t need our help. So the basic things are soap and water, once, no more than twice a day and leave the wound it alone.

YOUR LIFESTYLE CAN AFFECT THE HEALING PROCESS

Love to party? Sleep on a certain side? These are all things you need to keep in mind when going in for a piercing. If you’re out partying every night, drinking alcohol, and not sleeping, your body’s going to heal at a slower rate. If you’re constantly pulling the piercing, hitting it, messing with it, bumping it, irritating it, that’s going to hinder it from healing properly. You have to leave it alone. Less care is best care.

If you have had a piercing and its become infected or for some other reason its not as you expected please seek medical attention…

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CHECK OUT... our website www.costalinkmagazine.com for more health & wellbeing features

February 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/17 5:00 pm Page 51

Alhaurín Dental Centre Free Initial Consultation!

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Telephone: 654 996 026 by appointment only www.alhaurindentalcentre.com We are near the Centro De Meditatacion Kadampa, near Lauro Golf “Casa Soraya” Nº47 Camino Fuente Del Perro, AlhaurÍn El Grande, Malaga 29120 - A404 Km 12

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February 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/17 3:08 pm Page 52

A Pregnant Pause...

A 25-year-old single woman tells her mum that she has missed her period for the last few months.

Very worried, the mother goes to the local pharmacy and buys a pregnancy test kit. The test confirms that her daughter is pregnant.

Shouting and crying, the mother says, "Who was the selfish B*****D that did this to you? I demand to know!"

Without answering, the girl picks up the phone and makes a call.

Half an hour later, a Bentley stops in front of their house.

A middle-aged and very distinguished man steps out of the car and enters the house. He sits in the lounge with the father and mother, and tells them, "Your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life."

He continues, "Additionally, if a girl is born I will bequeath two retail furniture stores, a deli, a chateau in France and a ÂŁ1m bank account."

He continues, "If a boy is born my legacy will be a chain of jewellery stores and a ÂŁ25m bank account."

"However, if there is a miscarriage I'm not sure what to do. What would you suggest?"

All silent at this point, the mother placed a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and told him, "You'll try again."

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ALL REVVED UP

February 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/17 3:09 pm Page 54

STATE RIDES…

Donald Trump will receive a brand new presidential Cadillac very soon. He isn’t the only head of state to have an individual car – as leaders of other countries have made headlines over the years for owning or driving all manner of vehicles.

“The Beast” Barack Obama’s bullet-and bomb-proof bodywork has 130mm thick glass with only the driver's window capable of opening - so the driver can pay tolls.

Theresa May is driven around in an armoured 5.0-litre supercharged V8 Jaguar XJ, called the Sentinel. Thanks to hardened steel armour, the car is capable of withstanding a blast equivalent to 15kg of TNT. In 1962, France’s president Charles De Gaulle and his wife were riding in a Citroen DS when 12 gunmen shot 140 bullets at the car. Their lives were saved by the hydro-pneumatic suspension that allowed the punctured wheels to maintain contact with the road and prevent the car from skidding.

In 2009 Colonel Gaddafi of Libya announced he had designed his own car called the Libyan Rocket. Set for production in Tripoli, plans fell apart following Gaddafi’s ousting in 2011.

If you have overthrown a government in a ‘peaceful coup’ history would suggest the car to have would be the Mercedes-Benz Grosser 600. Owners of the 6.3-litre V8 limousine include the likes of Tito, Nicolae Ceausescu, Pol Pot, Leonid Brezhnev, Idi Amin and Fidel Castro.

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February 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/17 3:09 pm Page 55

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February 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/17 3:09 pm Page 56

Waffles with Banana & Salted Caramel Sauce Ingredients:

For the salted caramel

•140g muscovado sugar •2 tbsp golden syrup •50g butter •300ml double cream

For the waffles

•4 large eggs, separated •300g plain flour •½ Tsp bicarb of soda •2 tbsp golden caster sugar •50g butter, melted •600ml milk

To serve

•2 bananas, peeled & cut into large pieces •1 tbsp butter •Vanilla ice cream (optional)

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1) Put the sugar, golden syrup and butter in a saucepan and heat gently, stirring occasionally, until everything has melted together. When the mixture starts to bubble, stir in the double cream and cook for 2 mins. Stir in 1/2 tsp salt, then take off the heat and allow to cool slightly in the pan.

2) Heat the waffle maker (if you don't have one, you can use a griddle pan instead). Whisk the egg whites to stiff peaks. In a separate large bowl, mix together the flour, bicarbonate, caster sugar and a pinch of salt. Make a well in the centre and add the egg yolks and melted butter. Start mixing with a balloon whisk; keep whisking as you slowly add the milk until you get a smooth, thick batter. Carefully fold in the egg whites with a metal spoon. Use a ladle to pour the batter into your waffle maker and cook for 5 mins or according to the manufacturer's instructions. Repeat until all the batter has been used up - keep cooked waffles warm in a low oven until serving.

3) Just before serving, heat the remaining butter in a non-stick frying pan over a medium heat and fry the banana pieces until golden. Divide the waffles between 4 plates, top with the fried bananas, drizzle with salted caramel and top with a scoop of vanilla ice cream, if you like.

Method:

February 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/17 3:09 pm Page 57

Stran

Strange Strangebuttrue...

February 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/17 3:09 pm Page 58

BIG MACS WITH BIG PRICES‌

A Big Mac might taste the same the world over but the price varies wildly. In America you'll pay a shade over $5. But get your meat fix in Egypt and you could get THREE Big Macs (that's SIX individual meat patties and 1650 calories!) for just $4.38.

The 10 countries with the cheapest Big Macs 1) Egypt $1.46 2) Ukraine - $1.54 3) Malaysia - $1.79 4) South Africa - $1.89 5) Russia - $2.15 6) Taiwan - $2.16 7) Mexico - $2.23 8) Poland - $2.30 9) Indonesia - $2.33 10) Sri Lanka - $2.33

The 10 countries with the costliest Big Macs 1) Switzerland - $6.35 2) Norway - $5.67 3) Sweden - $5.26 4) Venezuela - $5.25 5) Brazil - $5.12 6) United States - $5.06 7) Finland - $4.76 8) Canada - $4.51 9) Italy - $4.40 10) Israel - $4.38 The Big Mac index was devised by the Economist in 1986 to gauge currency misalignment and test the theory of purchasing power parity, which states that over time exchange rates should automatically equalise the prices of identical goods or services in any two countries. Labour costs, of course, are lower in poorer countries so this partly factors into the price...

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February 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/17 3:09 pm Page 59

February 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/17 3:09 pm Page 60

FINANCIAL NEWS The Euro & World Round Up

THE BREXIT SO FAR...

Teresa May and Brexit has been the focus of late and recently the Prime Minister set out her plans for moving forward and investors seemed to like her words as the pound did rally during the same period. Although during the period 18th December 2016 to 18th January 2017 we saw movement against the euro from a low of 1.1308 to a high of 1.197 so with this in mind you can see the difference it makes to you when sending funds across to Spain.

Moving forward with Brexit some of the main points are:

•Teresa May has guaranteed the rights of EU citizens in the UK.

•The UK will look to leave the single market and customs union if a fair deal cannot be struck.

•The UK will still pay a contribution to the EU budget but will only pay towards specific programmes.

•Parliament in the UK will have the final say on any Brexit deal.

•The UK wants a transitional period to limit the economic impact for both the UK and the EU.

•The UK wants to continue its relationship with Europe & has committed to security cooperation to prevent terrorism.

Yes other bits and pieces however these are some of the factors that have an impact on the exchange rate as we move forward so if you need some guidance on your money transfers during these interesting times and the impact it has on your pocket why not ask for more informationusing the link below. After all you may be able to start saving now.

Contact: stephen@costalinkmagazine.com.

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What’s On Guide...

4th & 5th February 2017: Echoes of the 60’s - A fantastic journey through the greast musical decade of all time the 1960's starring three of the coasts top artistes Ron Howells, Michelle Daniles and Mark Connor. For more information call: 952 47 45 42 or e-mail: boxoffice@salonvarietestheatre.com or visit the website www.salonvarietestheatre.com.

10th to the 14th February 2017: The Old Time Music Hall - A traditional tirade of talant, trickery and.... tremendousness! For more information call: 952 47 45 42 or e-mail: boxoffice@salonvarietestheatre.com or visit the website www.salonvarietestheatre.com.

11th & 12th & 25th & 26th February 2017: Mad Hatters Music Videos & Film Camps 11th-12th (Valentines Edition) 25th-26th (Music Video – Hip Hop Edition) Students will have the unique opportunity to write, act and direct in their very own short film. They will also get to do singing, songwriting and recording their own song in a professional studio and starring in a music video! For more information see www.madhattersfilmcamp.com or call 673 505 838.

19th February 2017: Colour Obstacle Rush 15 insanely funny, crazy obstacles for the over 12’s to have the craziest race ever. At the Palacio de Deportes, Malaga from 10am to 6pm.

25th February 2017 to the 4th of March: The Marbella Carnival includes fun and entertainment in four different areas of the city - Marbella center, San Pedro de Alcantara, Nueva Andalucia and Las Chapas. This is a time where everyone dresses up in costume and participates in a number of activities offered by the city. For more information see: www.carnavaldemarbella.com.

Every Monday: Age Care Drop In where people can chat, share experiences and find out about living in Spain at La Iglesia Bar, near Bonanza Square, Benalmadena Costa 11am -12.30pm.

Every Monday: Arts and Crafts Fair in Benahavis at 8pm in the Main Square in Benahavis.

Every Monday: Age Concern Drop In for a coffee and a chat at The Captain’s bar Urb. Las Adelfas No. 11 from 11.30am to 1.00pm.

Every Tuesday: The Costa Women Coffee Club meet every second Tuesday at 10am – 12.30pm for coffee, chats and other activities and is a social group designed to get ladies of all ages together. It’s best to join the group via Facebook or contact Emma on 608 408 771.

Every Tuesday: Age Care Coffee Morning at the Baptist Church, Calahonda, where people can chat, share experiences & take part in a variety of activities. Tel: 952 933 409 for info. 11 am – 1 pm.

Every Tuesday: Age Concern meet at the Manila bar in Los Boliches, next to the Yaramar hotel for Spanish lessons in the afternoon from 3.00pm until 3.45pm. Lifeline 652 537 615.

Every Wednesday: Age Care Drop In where people can chat, share experiences and find out about liv Every Wednesday: at 11:30am the Malaga Picasso Museum is offering free guided tours in English which is included with the price of admissioning in Spain held in Fuengirola at the Bar Salon Varietes.

11am -12.30pm.

Every Thursday: Age Concern meet at the Manila bar in Los Boliches, next to the Yaramar hotel for advice, support and friendship from 11.00am until 1.00pm. Pop in and meet new people and make new friends. Call 652 537 615.

Every Thursday: Age Care Drop In where people can chat, share experiences and find out about living in Spain held in The Pensioner's Bar, Paseo Maritimo La Cala from 11am-12.30pm.

Every Thursday: Market at Calypso, Calahonda.

Every Thursday: Market at Calypso, Calahonda.

Every Friday: Age Concern meet at El Caballo de Oro in La Cala from 11.30 until 1.00pm. In the main square behind Supersol. Advice, support and friendship. Lifeline 652 537 615.

Every Sunday: FAMA have a car boot sale at the Hippodrome from 9am - 2pm.

Every Sunday: Craft Market in the Marbella Marina on the Teresa Zabell Pier: 12-6pm.

If you have an event, fundraiser or anything else please let us know...

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email: editor@costalinkmagazine.com phone: 951 216 131 or 663 061 669

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ocal Info Emergency Numbers

---

Central number for Fire, Police & Ambulance National Police Local Police Guardia Civil dica

Medical

112 091 092 062

Emergency 061 Ambulance Marbella 902 505 061 Ambulance Coin 952 453 267

Train Timetables 902 240 202 Airports Malaga 952 048 844 Gibraltar 956 773 026

Health Centres

Marbella 952 769 946 Coin 952 452 767 San Pedro 952 787 700

Town Halls

Marbella 952 761 100 San Pedro 952 453 020 La Cala de Mijas 952 493 208 Fuengirola 952 589 300 Estepona 952 801 100

Fire Brigade

Emergency number 080 Marbella 952 774 349 Estepona 952 804 483 Fuengirola 952 461 046

Consulates

British Ireland Denmark Sweden Germany France U.S.A

952 952 952 952 952 952 952

Marbella Coin Estepona Fuengirola San Pedro

952 771 442 952 822 818 952 822 818 952 467 457 952 785 252

352 475 226 604 212 226 474

300 108 373 383 442 590 891

Tourist Information

64

Transport

Bus Stations Marbella 952 764 400 Coin 952 450 366 San Pedro 952 781 396 Estepona 952 800249 For a list of complete times www.andalucia.com/travel/bus

Markets

Monday - Marbella (fairground site on east side) Tuesday - Fuengirola (fairground near Los Boliches) Wednesday -Estepona (Avda.

Juan Carlos) La Cala - Feria ground.

Thursday - San Pedro (Recinto Ferial) Calypso (Mijas Costa).

Alhaurin el Grande - (La Fama) Saturday - Coin (Calle Urbano Pineda) & Nueva Andalucia (Next to Centro Plaza the Bullring).

La Cala - Feria ground.

Sunday - Puerto Estepona (Marina).

Cinemas

All the Cinemas listed below show films in English as well as Spanish. Call first to check what is showing that week.

Marbella: Cinesur Plaza del Mar 952 766 941 La CaĂąada 902 333 231 Puerto Banus: Gran Marbella 952 810 077 Coin: La Trocha 951 315 039 Fuengirola Cinesur Miramar 902 221 622

Chemists

24 hour chemist Urb. Artola, Ctra. Cadiz Km 194. Marbella.

Tel: 952 83 25 89

Taxis

Marbella Taxis 952 774 488 Mijas Costa Taxis 952 476 593

Diary Dates

February 14th 2017: Valentines Day February 28th 2017: Pancake Day (Shrove Tuesday)

February 28th 2017: "Andalucia Day" - Many Businesses are closed or have short opening hours

check out our website www.costalinkmagazine.com for cinema listings in VOSE

February 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/17 4:34 pm Page 65

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Sunday roast and homemade tapas.

Large sun terrace.

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Upstairs Los Jarales, Calahonda

After

Free advice on how to care for your floors at www.marblefloor.info

February 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/17 4:34 pm Page 66

S TA R S I GN S

A look at what's in store for you during February 2017...

Capricorn

Aquarius

Pisces

Aries

Taurus

Gemini 66

Capricorn, during February 2017 the Moon “suffers” an eclipse in an area of your horoscope that suggests frustration or even a crisis. Venus, Mars and Uranus seem to go through love issues that you find hard to express or you only discuss in a private setting. They might be related to joint finances or some other money issue. February 2017 is a very active month for you in financial terms. The Sun and Mercury in your skies, and the Moon eclipse on February 11th 2017 takes place in the other financial house. Being well configured, the eclipse could bring you luck in regard to inheritances, an investment opportunity or some other financial benefit. In short, February 2017 is very demanding, but has great potential for success.

You have better shape than last month, but you still have to carefully manage your energy. There are many planets making stressful aspects with the Capricorn sign take the best care of yourself that you can.

Aquarius, with a Moon eclipse during February 2017 relationships are particularly important to you. The astral configuration foretells significant events and, most likely, unexpected or uncommon ones.

You might meet a new love interest, receive evidence that the one you dream of feels the same way about you, get the reconciliation you were hoping for or experience magical and unforgettable moments. During February 2017 the Sun, bringer of vitality, brilliance, and importance, is in Aquarius. Because it’s in good aspects with other planets, you can count on its support for moving forward, standing out, being successful. Financially, some unexpected earnings come your way, but you shouldn’t rush to make decisions. Aquarians enjoy excellent energy throughout February 2017. You feel in great shape and have a positive outlook.

Pisces, it seems that during February 2017 you slow down when it comes to love. The most common reason would be that you have other priorities that take up your time and thoughts so much so that relationships are left somewhere in the background, in a sort of hibernation. Another reason might be a kind of “disconnect” determined by something missing or growing apart in a relationship. Either way, don’t worry, you won’t be waiting for long: action will begin shortly! February 2017 comes with changes meant to consolidate your career and spruce up your financials. Success is right around the corner! The Moon eclipse speaks of taking measures in regard to improving Pisceans’ lifestyle, or of investigations and treatments meant to solve some deficiencies, disorders or imbalances. There are solutions. You just have to look for them.

Aries, this month should be full Valentine’s passion. Mars and Venus are in your sign! Venus is the planet of love, and Mars is the planet of desire. Triggering intense amorous feelings…! Jupiter starts its retrograde motion this month in your sign so expect February 2017 to magnificent or dramatic, but defiantly uncontrollable. An excess of energy floods into the sign of Aries during February 2017 meaning you will be full of drive regarding your work life. You are full of ambitions and have the mindset of a winner.

And the stars help you succeed in your every goal. Set some ambitious goals and go for it! You’ll probably earn a lot of money during February, but it’s important to be careful and not spend everything you’ve earned. During February 2017 you have energy enough for ten You’re under pressure and need to unwind, or you’ll blow up. You should use your energy in way that isn’t risky.

Taurus, during February 2017 you might be displeased with your love life. You are feeling slightly indifferent about your partner’s insincerity. You might also be thinking that your relationship restricts you. Venus the planet of love and Mars are in your sign bringing with them secret passions and forbidden love affairs. Although it comes with making a serious effort and quite a lot of stress, February 2017 is a productive month that can bring success and money. Jupiter the Sun and Mercury galvanize your career. You’ll face various challenges because Jupiter is in opposition with warrior Mars. But no difficulty can get you off track this month! You should be discreet about your plans and only discuss them with people you trust.

You’re going through a delicate term in regard to health. Don’t avoid seeing your doctor and follow their recommendations! Be aware that excess and carelessness can cost you!

Gemini, February 2017, the month that celebrates love through Valentine’s, day is very good month for you! Jupiter is remarkably well situated and is stimulated energetically by a lot of planets. Venus is in a lucky position alongside Mars. Expect this month to be filled romance and passionate, affairs or even a great love may be given at any moment. The emotional load might at times be excessive, and situations could easily get out of hand. In extreme cases, it might even get to a conflict. Don’t get too worked up or do something crazy! On the work front set practical plans in order to make sure that things go, as you want them to! Don’t allow yourself to be seduced by idealistic projects; instead build on solid ground don’t get carried away! Money comes particularly from partnerships or teamwork. During February 2017 the stars give you a lot of energy and an optimistic outlook on life.

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Cancer

Leo

Virgo

Libra

Scorpio

Sagittarius

Cancer, February 2017 is a relatively quiet month for your love life. Things on the home front involve various chores or other day-to-day activities. Overall, February 2017 is more practical than romantic, but this works to your advantage. You’re in a for a productive month in regard to career, with special achievements; a month during which you stand out, assert yourself, earn others’ attention. Mars is in your sign and will be assisted by other planets too. Theses conjunctions will see changes signaling one of the best terms of 2017 for re-launching your career. This month money depends largely on others, but February is generous with joint earnings great for investments and business connections with financial rewards. You get a lot done this month and have great ambitions, and are always on the go but be mindful that you are putting your body and mind through serious stress.

Leo, because the Sun is focusing it’s attention on your sign this month February 2017 highlights life on the home front. Mercury is also getting involved, promoting your sense of adventure. Your love life becomes more animated – in a positive way, because the Sun and Mercury benefit from positive aspects.

February 2017 is also favorable for single Leos, who now have more opportunities to meet the one they’ve been dreaming of. The Moon eclipse, that happens this month also intensifies emotions. Your career goes through intense moments during February 2017.But expect competition, struggles or surprise situations and be prepared for a change! Collaborations and contracts bring Leos money and success. Stand up for your convictions with tact and don’t talk more than you should! You’re predisposed high degrees of stress this month. Try getting out and about enjoy the spring, why not take up a new sport.

Virgo, with a Sun eclipse in your sign this month you are going to be bombarded by some turbulent times with your relationships this month. Events won’t necessarily be negative, just confusing. The kind of events that ruin your routine, shake you or reconfigure your environment. It’s possible that the “storm” of February 2017 be connected to money. Because the Sun and Mercury are in your skies this February expect work to be really busy. The good news is that the effort, although exhausting, is profitable: it makes your professional qualities shine and fills your pockets. On the other hand, February 2017 has strong financial connotations for you, you are on an axis formed by Jupiter and the Venus-Mars-Uranus trio, you need to find methods of increasing your income, and this will sharpen your business and investments instincts. Risks are running pretty high, so be careful!

Libra, February 2017 is the most passionate and insane month of the year for your sign. Venus, Mars, and Uranus, an explosive combo, anything could happen: falling desperately in love, starting the search for your better half, joining forces with your partner in order to achieve something special, or turbulent love stories, with dramatic gestures. Collaborations and rivalries are what are in store professionally during February 2017. Whatever you do, you do it together with others partnerships are very stimulating and bring you financial gains. But they can also go off track easily, so they need to be treated with diplomacy and caution. Neptune, the Dragon’s Tail (South Lunar Node) and an eclipse in Libra’s house of health: during February 2017 you need to take care of yourself the best way you know how. If you feel like something isn’t going well, you’d better see the doctor as soon as possible.

Scorpio, things could be better... February 2017 the stars are rather stingy leaving you a rather boring, dull month. Unfortunately, you do what you must, not what you want to. Except such situations, there’s nothing much going on but routine, limitations, and frustrations. But don’t worry; you’ll catch up next month!

February 2017 is an extremely demanding month for Scorpions in terms of professional life. With Venus, Mars, and Uranus in your skies, you’re really busy. Stress becomes your everyday companion and you might experience emergencies or unpredicted events at work. Also and it’s no small thing your efforts are rewarded by above-average earnings. Money comes when needed in order to buy things for your home or for some other long-term investment. But it could be a good term for making decisions regarding improving your lifestyle or other firm decisions of a medical nature.

Sagittarius, in the context of your love life and relationship, February 2017 accentuates the dual nature of your sign. Venus, Mars, and Uranus stimulate your wild and passionate side. And on the other hand, the Sun and Mercury bring out the best in your rational side. Who will win? Your instincts initially, unleashed emotions, thoughtless actions. Only after that will your mind begin to filter, to evaluate. It’s also possible that these two influences might work together, in different areas. Either way, February 2017 has great amorous potential for Sagittarians. Money comes your way but it’s tough to hold on to, and you should be cautious about speculations. You have a lot of energy during February 2017, more so than during the last few months, both on the physical and mental level. Your body zings and your mind is brilliant it looks like you are in for a great month!

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Aping Around...!

It’s a Gorrilla of a job

Tony needs a job and decides to apply at the zoo. As it happened, their star attraction, a gorilla, had passed away the night before and they had carefully preserved his hide.

The Manager tells Tony that they'll pay him well if he would dress up in the gorillas skin and pretend to be the gorilla so people will keep coming to the zoo. Well, Tony has his doubts, But Hey! He needs the money, so he puts on the skin and goes out into the cage.

The people all cheer to see him. He plays up to the audience and they just eat it up. This isn't so bad, he thinks, and he starts really putting on a show, jumping around, beating his chest and roaring, swinging around.

During one acrobatic attempt, though, he loses his balance and crashes through some safety netting, landing square in the middle of the lion cage!

As he lies there stunned, the lion roars. He's terrified and starts screaming, "Help, Help, Help!" The lion races over to him, places his paws on his chest and hisses, "Shut up or we'll BOTH lose our jobs !"

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puzzle Link The Words

Solutions on page 80

it out

In each of these puzzles, three words are listed. All you have to do is find another word that can either precede or follow each word linking them:

1)

___

CAKE

LEMON

COSY

3)

____

OAK

HOUSE

CHRISTMAS

CLOSE

TELEPHONE

2) 4) 5)

_____ ____ ____

POINT CELLAR

CENTRE

MAKER TABLE

FOOTBALL SEA

Guess The Celeb

A

B

Sudoku

Brain Teaser

CAN YOU FIND THE PANDA

70

THE SOLUTION IS ON PAGE 80...

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Crossword

Across: 1. What politicians sometimes use (4) 4. Turning (8) 8. Conflict (6) 9. Modified text (6) 10. False god (4) 11. Rotated (8) 13. Chewed healthily (7,6) 16. Violent attacks (8) 19. Offend. (4) 20. Grand canyon, helter skelter (6) 22. Stage play (6) 23. Instruction (4,4) 24. Questions (4) Down: 2. Trudgings (9) 3. Small bites (7) 4. Moving part of a motor (5) 5. 12, 12, 12, 12’s (7) 6. Show off a skirt (5) 7. North North East (3) 12. Finality of ramble (3,2,4) 14. Moon over sun (7) 15. Brazilian dance (7) 17. Assisted (5) 18. Timid walk (5) 21. Winter feature (3)

Name The Film

A Following a ghost invasion of Manhattan, B paranormal enthusiasts band together to stop the otherworldly threat. Starring Melissa McCarthy and Kristen Wiig (2016).

Directed by Steven Spielberg a highly advanced robotic boy longs to become "real" so that he can regain the love of his human mother (2001).

CCC’s ticket

caught

Say What You See...

MOM ENT

MO TH ER

February 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/17 4:37 pm Page 72

The Jokespage

Jokespage

I called an old school friend and asked what was he doing. He replied that he is working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminium and steel under a constrained environment".

I was impressed...

On further enquiring I learnt that he was washing dishes with hot water... under his wife's supervision.

A husband and wife decided they needed to use "code" to indicate that they wanted to have sex without letting their children in on it. They decided on the word Typewriter.

One day the husband told his five-year-old daughter, "Go tell your mummy that daddy needs to type a letter". The child told her mother what her dad said, and her mum responded, "Tell your daddy that he can't type a letter right now because there is a red ribbon in the typewriter." The child went back to tell her father what mummy said. A few days later the mum told the daughter, "Tell daddy that he can type that letter now." The child told her father, returned to her mother and announced, "Daddy said never mind with the typewriter, he already wrote the letter by hand."

Q: What happened to the man who assaulted the laughing psychic? A: He was arrested for striking a happy medium.

72

Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's Day, at a very smart jeweller's shop. The jeweller inquired, 'Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?' Roger thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, 'No, instead engrave "To my one and only love".' The jeweller smiled and said, 'Yes, sir; how very romantic of you.' Roger retorted with a glint in his eye, 'Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again.'

The little boy greeted his grandmother with a huge hug and said, ‘I’m so happy to see you Granny. Now maybe daddy will do the trick he has been promising us.’ The Grandmother was curious, ‘What trick is that, my dear?’ she asked. The little boy replied, ‘I heard Daddy tell Mummy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit us again.’

What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? Their middle name.

A little boy asks his daddy where poo comes from... Daddy explains: ‘Food in the mouth is chewed into small lumps, which are swallowed, and pass through the oesophagus and the hiatus sphincter and into the stomach. The food is churned up in the stomach, where digestive enzymes induce a probiotic reaction in the alimentary canal to extract protein before waste products are propelled into the small intestine and descend via the colon and rectum to emerge as poo.’ ‘WOW that’s AMAZING!’ exclaims the little boy.

“And what about Tigger?”

February 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/17 4:38 pm Page 73

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February 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/17 4:38 pm Page 74

KIDS PAGE

Happy s e n i t n e l Va

Give Pooh Some r Colou

you call What do ht on ig n aK es Day? Valentin s-A-Lot Sir-Love the Why did t with go ou banana rune? the p n't it could Because date. a get

What did the finger say to th e ink?

You’re my ‘Prin ts’ Charming!

74

What do give for squirrels e's Day? Valentin . me-nuts te rg Fo

What did the valentine card say to the stam p?

Stick with me and we'll go places !

the What did ay to his rabbit s d on girlfrien ? e’s Day Valentin unny b e m So u! loves yo

What did the silver polish sa y to the bracelet ?

I’ve taken a shine to you!

the What did y to his baker sa art? sweethe -nuts h g u o I’m d ou y t abou

What did the boy sheep say to the girl sheep on Valentine' s Day? I Love Ewe!

February 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/17 4:38 pm Page 75

Can you find and circle the valentine that Pooh & Tigger have in their hands?

Help Piglet deliver flowers to Pooh by weaving through the maze... Watch out for the dead ends!

February 2017 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/17 4:38 pm Page 76

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puzzle Trivia Quiz Answers

1) Oscar Wilde 2) Femur 3) Cuba 4) Sonic the Hedgehog 5) Venezuela 6) Marmalade Skies 7) They are all cars made by Nissan 8) Rice 9) Chess 10) Good Intentions 11) Bread 12) 1965 13) Orlando 14) Wines 15) Cheese 16) Cher 17) Double Eagle 18) Iran 19) Pythagoras 20) Bees 21) Epistle 22) Litmus 23) 900 24) A Pig 25) Wasabi 26) Arabian Peninsula 27) Anne Boleyn & Catherine Howard 28) On the Moon 29) A farrier 30) 8,000 miles

Answers from 24, 70 & 71

it out

Link The Words 1) Tea 2) Match 3) Tree 4) Salt 5) Call

Guess The Celeb a) Martin Freeman b) Scarlett Johansson

Brain Teaser

CAN YOU FIND THE PANDA

Crossword Solution

Sudoku Solution

Name The Film a) Ghostbusters 2016

b) A.I. Artificial Intelligence (2001)

Say What You See 1) Season Ticket

80

2) Caught in the Moment 3) Step Mother

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