February 2015 Costa Link Magazine

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Febr uar y 2015 N°95

The worst kept secret on the Costa del Sol

costadelhome.com Inspired Property Search

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Computer Pro oblems? we can help. p....

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Business Director y Puzzles & Quizzes What’s On Guide Horoscope es Local Info Kids Pag ge Joke e es

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i

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Protect Your Home Windows Door Rejas

Protect Your Family Patio Rejas Drive Gates Etc.

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678 691 393

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Love is in the air! Yes, Valentines Day is this month and with it comes the chance to show your other half just how much they are loved! Go on push the boat out, it’s only once a year why not choose that special venue to wine and dine your beloved. If you are stuck for card and gift ideas pop along to Party Party in Calahonda .

Remember, whatever a woman says, isn’t always what she means and “Valentines Day is a load of sentimental claptrap” is definitely one of those cases. So now that you have been warned, that one won’t work for any ladies reading the Costa Link this month! (Sorry lads) also don’t forget Shrove Tuesday on the 17th (Pancake day) and its Carnival time here in Spain.

Well the sales started last month so we thought we would get involved and have a Costa Link Sale. We have a fantastic offer on all size ads, 3 for 2 - pay for two months and the third is FREE! Call us for more information about our new lower prices. Have a fantastic month and remember, keep smiling!

in the February Magazine

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A Man’s World: Men V’s Women plus more on page 38...

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Medical Section... The A-Z of medical healthcare on the Costa del Sol. If you need any advise on any medical matter look here...

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All Revved Up... This month we look at promo cars you won’t believe the shapes and sizes they come in..

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What’s on this month? It’s Valentine’s Day on the 14th…

Also the Marbella Festival with activities throughout the month plus much more.

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Solutions on page 76 Puzzle It Out... Puzzles galore challenge those little grey cells.

Kids Page: A wordsearch, mazes and fun with Peter Rabbit and Dora...

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Business Directory... Can’t find that all-important contact information see page 72.

Like Us

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Solutions on page 76 Pit your brains against the TRIVIA QUIZ, questions for all ages from 6 -116!

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The Jokes Page: Laugh out loud or get some giggles on page 68!!!

Facebook

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A Womens World! What you really get for Valentines… Also a merry divorcee!

Call: 951 216 131 or 663 061 669 Email: sales@costalinkmagazine.com

Website: www.costalinkmagazine.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/costa.link.spain Whatapp: 663 061 669 6

Tweet: @costa_link

No part of this publication, including layout, graphic design or pictures may be copied, SCANNED, used or reproduced without our prior written consent. Costa Link Magazine accepts no responsibility for alterations to events listed, claims made by our advertisers or information provided by our contributors. All rights reserved © 2015.

to advertise in costa link magazine please call 951 216 131

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A Woman’s World THE MEANING OF VALENTINES DAY...

Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when most women have dreams of a candlelight dinners, prince charming arriving on horseback to sweep you away, diamonds, and a thoroughly romantic day, but at the end of the day consider yourself lucky to get a card.

FORTH TIME LUCKY! The local news station was interviewing an eighty-year-old lady because she had just got married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at eighty, then about her new husband's occupation. "He's a funeral director," she answered. 'Interesting,' the newsman thought...

He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living. She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married a banker when she was in her twenties, then a circus ringmaster when in her forties, and a preacher when in her sixties, and now, in her eighties, a funeral director. The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers. She smiled and explained, "I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."

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Stocking only the very best in ladies fashion including leading quality designer labels Sizes from 10 to 20

(other sizes can be ordered)

Extensive Sales Rack.

Opening Times: Monday - Friday 11am - 6pm Saturday 11am - 3pm

Tel: 952 927 245

Avda. del Mediterraneo 4, San Pedro de Alcรกntara (near Da Bruno Restaurant, opposite the Fishing Boat)

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50 SHADES of hot gossip...

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50 SHADES STAR DAKOTA JOHNSON TIED UP IN S&M SLING IN SHOCKING VIDEO: Well the wait is nearly over…. 50 shades is to be realised later this month (we can’t wait)! Just to wet our appetites Dakota Johnson has been swinging around in the X-rated video for the film. The full soundtrack will be available a few days before the film's release. As well as Beyonce's sultry reworking of her own hit Crazy In Love, it features tracks from superstars such as The Rolling Stones, Frank Sinatra and Annie Lennox. Jamie Dornan as Christian Grey and Dakota Johnson as Anastsia Steele have already become international stars before the film has even been released.With over 100 million copies of E.L. James' notorious trilogy in e-book and print, fans around the world are desperate to see if Sam Taylor-Wood has captured the spirit of the books. Based on this video, we'd say that she's off to a good start.

Fifty Shades of Grey: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack is out on February 10th...

JAMIE DORNAN IN AGONY OVER REVEALING ORGASM FACE: The adorably bashful actor is admitting in a new interview that sharing his ‘sex face’ with the world is the ‘worst thing ever!’ Fifty Shades of Grey may be Jamie Dornan’s big break but that doesn’t mean he enjoyed every moment of filming it. The poor guy is mortified over having to reveal his orgasm face to millions of viewers! “It’s the worst thing imaginable,” Jamie, 32, confesses in a new interview for Variety. “For all the reasons anyone would think, most people would like to keep their sex face private. The idea of a million people seeing that! I hope it happens quite fast. Well, that’s not something a lady wants to hear! Jokes aside, we totally feel Jamie’s pain. This has to be embarrassing for him but hopefully the reward will outweigh the risk!

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HOT GOSS!

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CALLING ALL CBB SUPER-FANS: YOU CAN BUY FURNITURE FROM THE HOUSE! If you’re loving this series of Celebrity Big Brother and can’t cope with it ever coming to an end – we have the perfect solution. Buying furniture and other random bits and bobs from the house… so you'll remember this amazing series of the Channel 5 show forever... Yes, you can actually sit on the sofa Katie Price did her nails on and stare into the large ‘magic’ mirror, just like Katie Hopkins. All you have to do is pick your items http://www.gumtree.com/cbb and Channel 5 will let you know when you’ve been successful. Items up for grabs include the red and black dining table, a coffee table and a weird statue of a dog all proceeds go to all to raise money for Crisis UK.

RIHANNA AND LEONARDO DICAPRIO SEEM TO BE TAKING THEIR ALLEGED RELATIONSHIP TO THE NEXT LEVEL! Leonardo DiCaprio, 40, and Rihanna, 26, have allegedly been hooking up for weeks, and it’s getting pretty serious. Rihanna’s actually very “smitten” with the Titanic star and she’s reportedly ready to take him home to meet her family! The reason it’s probably hard for Rihanna to hide her reported relationship with Leonardo is because every time she’s around him, her “knees tremble.” Is an engagement right around the corner?! Valentines day is this month Leo....!

NEW SERIES OF BRITAIN’S GOT TALENT... Hands up who's ready for more magicians? Oh... We’re not sure, but it’s been confirmed that Simon Cowell, Amanda Holden, Alesha Dixon and David Walliams are all returning for BGT’s ninth series. This is the judges’ fourth series together. Isn’t that cosy? The new series started filming last month – time to prepare yourself for loads of magicians (shudder), dancing babies, dancing dog or maybe rapping Grannies. OMG!

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671 093 925

Your long term property rental specialists Website: www.costarents.com Email: info@costarents.com

FOR SALE, Club la Costa: €129,950

A 2 bed 1 bath townhouse in the resort of Club La Costa.The property is fully furnished and comes with parking,renting this property means you can use all the bars and resturants in the community.Properties in this delevopment are extremely rare,the property has been very well maintained.

You can walk to the beach in 10 minutes and Fuengirola in 15 minutes.

FOR SALE, La Cala: 2 bed 2 bath penthouse apartment. With 2 terraces and a full size roof terrace €195,000.

FOR SALE, Riviera: €154,950

This Beautiful 2 bed apartment situated within the Crown resorts complex in lower Riviera del Sol. The property is within minutes walking distance to bars, restaurants,supermarkets and the beach. The apartment is 2 bed, 2 bath and benefits from a massive terrace off of the lounge which has a fantastic view of the coast and sea. Early viewing recommended for this superb located property.

FOR SALE, La Cala: 3 bed duplex penthouse, the property is on 2 levels.

Great views of the hills. €249,000

@costarents For all the latest listings!

FOR SALE, RIviera: Very large modern 3 bedroom, 4 bathroom part furnished townhouse private garage. €330,000

Search Costa Rents For all the latest news and listings!

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671 093 925

Your long term property rental specialists Website: www.costarents.com Email: info@costarents.com

FOR RENT, RIviera: Large 3 bed 2 bath duplex penthouse in Mid Riviera. Big roof terrace. €600 PCM

FOR RENT, RIviera: Very large modern 3 bedroom, 4 bathroom townhouse with private garage. €950 PCM

Looking for rental properties now!

Please ring

FOR RENT, Los Boliches: Very nice 4 bed 3 bath villa, within walking distance to everything. With feature ceilings €1600 PCM

L et

Costa Rents

nts by costa re

if you want to rent out your property today KEEP CALM AND RENT OUT

YOUR

PROPERTY

PROPERTY SITTING EMPTY? MORTGAGE AND COMMUNITY FEES BUILDING UP?

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Celebrities thoughts on Love & Sex...

♥ "There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 500SL." - Lynn Lavner

♥ "Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." - Camille Paglia

♥ "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."

- Sharon Stone

♥ "Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." - Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady)

♥ "Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." - the late great Robin Williams

♥ "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place" - Billy Crystal

♥ "According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful." - Robert De Niro

♥ "There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?" - Dustin Hoffman

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Celebrities thoughts on Love & Sex... ♥ "There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked !" - Jerry Seinfeld

♥ "See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time." - Robin Williams

♥ "It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom." - Joan Rivers

♥ “Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy.”

- Steve Martin

♥ “You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being

spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for later in life.”

- Elmo Phillips

♥ "Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same." -

Oscar Wilde

♥ " It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married." - George Burns

♥ "I've always heard that women secretly want their father. So I used to walk around in a 1950s business suit, with a hat and a pipe. My opening line would be, `You should be getting to bed now.'" — Conan O'Brien

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11) There were 11 racers in the ‘Wacky Races’, each driving a car number between 1 and 10 apart from Dick Dastardly – what number car did he drive?

12) Which American actor is an anagram of ‘OLD WEST ACTION’?

13) Which conflict lasted between 1337 and 1553?

14) The NEC in Birmingham has hosted many events but what does NEC stand for?

15) Which DJ was banned from radio for playing too much Cliff Richard?

16) Which recent BBC Christmas comedy was written by David Walliams?

17)Which highly anticipated film is released on February the 14th 2015?

9) Which playing card is known as 18)‘Rescue Helicopter’ by John ‘the devils four poster bed’?

Cameron is the theme tune to 10) Which company introduced which BBC television programme teabags to the UK in 1952? that celebrates its 31st

TRIVIA QUIZ

1) What was the name of the Spanish character in Faulty Towers?

2) In what year did America gain independence from Britain?

3) Which television show said you “better call Saul”?

4) Which word can go after ‘ring’ and before ‘deaf’?

5) In which London theatre was the 2014 Royal Variety performance held?

6) Who was the founder of Microsoft?

7) Which three colours appear on the flags of Iraq, Kuwait, Syria and Afghanistan?

8) What was the name of the mail service in the US that ran from Missouri to California?

anniversary this year?

19) What was the name of the lion in C S Lewis’s ‘The lion, the witch and the wardrobe’?

20) For how many days did the Great Fire of London rage?

21) What is the surname of the Lord of Grantham in Downton Abbey?

22) What was the name of Mulder’s partner in the X Files?

23) What would you keep in a bandbox?

24) What aid to criminal investigation did Sir Francis Galton invent?

25) In a recent survey which 1939 song was voted greatest movie song?

26) Who played the title role in the 1981 film, Father of the Bride?

Answers on page 76

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Tel: 951 310 111

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KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCKing...

Two men waiting at the Heaven Gates strike up a conversation... ''How'd you die?'' the first man asks the second. ''I froze to death’ ‘says the second.

“That’s awful'' says the first man….. ''How does it feel to freeze to death?''

Its very uncomfortable at first’ ‘says the second ''You get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But eventually, it’s a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off, as if you're sleeping. How about you, how did you die?'' ''I had a heart attack'' says the first man. "You see, I knew my wife was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly.

I ran up to the bedroom, and found her alone, knitting.

I ran down to the basement, but no one was hiding either there.

I ran up to the second floor but no one was hiding there either.

I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and just got there, I had a massive heart attack and died’’… The second man shakes his head. ''That's so ironic’ ‘he says. ''What do you mean?'' asks the first man. ''If you had only stopped to look in the freezer, we’d both still be alive.”

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Actual callcentre conversations High Street Travel Agent Customer: 'I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?'.

Operator: 'Where did you get that number from, sir?'.

Customer: 'It was on the door to the Travel Centre'.

Operator: 'Sir, they are our opening hours'.

Samsung Electronics Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'

Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about'.

Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'

Operator: 'I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'.

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Actual callcentre conversations

continued !

RAC Motoring Services Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?'

Operator: 'Doesn't the product name give you a clue?'

Directory Enquiries Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please'.

Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?'

Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off'.

Computer Support Desk Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'.

Customer: 'OK'.

Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'.

Customer: 'No'.

Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'

Customer: 'No'.

Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'.

Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click''.

Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.

Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'

Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland'.

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THE

a to z

of Bizarre Laws around the World

Countries all over the world have strange and weird laws, some very outdated. Read on to see the laws and their countries.

Australia: It is illegal to wear hot pink pants after midday on Sunday.

Brazil: The use of handcuffs are prohibited.

Canada: Citizens may not relieve themselves or spit in the streets.

Denmark: If you vehicle stalls and you leave it on the side of the road, you must mark the vehicle with a red, reflecting triangle.

Egypt: No public displays of affection should be shown.

France: No pig may be addressed as Napoleon by its owner.

Greece: Women are prohibited from wearing high heels and tall hats in the Olympic Stadium.

Hawaii: Coins are not allowed to be placed in one’s ears.

Israel: It is forbidden to take bears to the beach.

Japan: Women must wear bras in air-conditioned rooms.

Kentucky: It’s against the law to put your ice cream cone in your pocket.

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The A to Z of Bizarre Laws around the World‌ Louisiana: Biting someone with your natural teeth is simple assault. Biting someone with false teeth is aggravated assault.

Morocco : Anyone in a company with someone who possess narcotics, even if they are unaware that their companions has them, can be tried for the same crime.

Netherlands: Prostitution is legal, but they must pay taxes.

Oklahoma: It is illegal to take a bite out of someone else’s hamburger.

Poland: Fireman who serve in action may not have a moustache. Fireman who file paperwork may have a moustache.

Quebec: No language other than French is permitted to be shown outdoors.

Russia: It is illegal to brush your teeth more than twice per day.

Sweden: You may only own half a meter down in the ground of any land you own.

Thailand: It is illegal to drive without a shirt on.

The UK: In Hereford, you can shoot a Welsh person on Sunday, with a longbow, in the Cathedral Close.

Virginia: Children are not allowed to go trick-or-treating on Halloween.

Wales: All boys, by law, must learn how to play rugby.

X: There are no countries in the world beginning with the letter X! Yemen: At the age of 15, women may marry.

Zimbabwe: Citizens may not make offensive gestures at a passing car.

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A Man’s World

THREE WISE MEN...

Three business men were sitting in a bar, drinking and discussing how daft their wives were.

The first says, "I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought €300 worth of meat because it was half proce, and we don't even have a fridge big enough to keep it in!"

The second agrees that she sounds pretty thick, but says his wife is thicker. "Just last week, she went out and spent €17,000 on a new car," he laments, "and she doesn't even know how to drive!"

The third, a blond male, nods sagely and agrees that these two women sound like they both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by every branch. However, he still thinks his wife is dumber. "I have to laugh when I think about it," he chuckles.

"Last week my wife left on a vacation to Greece. I watched her packing her bags and she must have taken at least five boxes of condoms with her. She doesn't even have a penis!"

A GOOD LINE FOR VALENTINES!

A hot lady walks into a supermarket and on her way round she sees the bloke who had his wicked way with her the previous evening, after they had met in a pub.

He was stacking washing powder boxes on the shelves.

"You lying toad" she yells" last night you told me you were a stunt pilot" "No" he says "I told you I was a member of the Ariel display team"

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Abedtime Nasty tale...

A father put his 3 year old son to bed, told him a story and listened to his prayers which ended by saying: “God bless Mummy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and goodbye Grandpa.” The father asked, “Why did you say goodbye Grandpa?” The little boy said, “I don’t know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do.” The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence. A few months later the father put the boy to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this: “God bless Mummy, God Bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma.” The next day the grandmother died. “Holy Moley, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side. Several weeks later when the boy was going to bed the dad heard him say: “God bless Mummy and goodbye Daddy.” He practically went into shock. He couldn’t sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally, midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home. When he got home his wife said, “I’ve never seen you work so late, what’s the matter?”

He said, “I don’t want to talk about it, I’ve just spent the worst day of my life.”

She said, “You think you had a bad day? You’ll never believe what happened to me.

This morning the postman dropped dead on our porch!”

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What’s new at Neli G’s

Neli g’s is a daytime café restaurant with a welcoming, friendly, atmosphere serving fresh, vibrant English cuisine with a Mediterranean twist. Amazing homemade dishes, made with quality ingredients, handpicked by us from the markets and cooked simply. A café restaurant, with a take away deli and a beautiful outside terrace.

The café serves a range of delicious breakfasts from homemade granola with yoghurt, compote and fresh fruit, to the classic full English breakfast. When lunchtime comes around, there's a new menu with a fabulous selection of tasty neli g´s nibbles to indulge in with a glass of wine on the newly designed terrace. Ideal for groups, ladies luncheons, celebrations or a quick bite to eat. The deli takeaway is designed for people who are on the go to call, collect and takeaway. For those that don´t want the hassle of cooking they can pick up a homemade dish of the day to enjoy at their leisure at home in the evening. So come and try our mouth-watering menu and decide for yourself.

Open 7 days a week from 9am until 4pm. Always popular on Sundays for the roast lunch priced at 2 courses for 12€ and 3 courses for 15€, reservations are highly recommended. If you have an event or a birthday celebration take the opportunity to exclusively hire out the venue for the evening.

Check out this great offer on our new neli g´s nibbles get a FREE small glass of wine with any three For more information please see our ad on page 21 or contact us: tel: 952 928 576 email: yummy@neligs.com web: www.neligs.com

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Medical Tips

FREE breast & prostate/testicular cancer screening

Positively Pink & Blue are the Mijas based charities offering FREE breast and prostate / testicular cancer screening to UK expatriate’s living on the Costa del Sol.

During 2014 over 800 women accessed our FREE breast screening programme with thankfully only a small number of ladies receiving a positive diagnosis. Some of these ladies have already had their treatment and we are pleased to report they are doing well but Positively Pink continues to support those ladies who are still receiving treatment. 2014 was the 1st full year of the Positively Blue programme to provide education, awareness and support for prostate and testicular cancer. During the 1st year the free screening programme has diagnosed several men with Prostate cancer, all of whom are doing well and being treated. In its 1st year Positively Blue had an overwhelming response to the 400 free appointments that were on offer, in-fact the charity funded a total of 436 appointments for prostate cancer screening and educated them all on testicular cancer and the need to self examine. During the course of 2015 we have set ourselves the challenge of offering 600 free breast screenings and 400 free Prostate blood tests / testicular cancer screening. The 2015 campaign begins in February and appointments are available now by calling 952 835 776.

For us to continue to be able to offer these FREE services we need your support, as we need to raise the necessary funds to pay for the mammograms, ultrasounds and PSA blood tests. As a charity we are very proud of the fact that ALL of the monies we raise are used solely for the purpose of funding the professionals to carry out the radiography and blood analysis, all of the charities costs are absorbed by the El Oceano Hotel & Spa and Clinica Medicare in La Cala de Mijas.

... did you know 50,000 women and 300 men will hear the words you have breast cancer every year in the UK alone and this number continues to rise...

1 man dies every hour of Prostate cancer...

“EARLY DETECTION IS YOUR BEST PROTECTION”

Help us to help you...

Contact us now with your event or fundraising ideas... info@positively-pink.com or info@positively-blue.com or find us on Facebook....

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Clinica Medicare is a Preferred Partner of “medilink” Your British Health centre here on the Costa del Sol. For more information on Clinica Medicare or any of our other Preferred Partners call “medilink” on 952 93 38 76.

February 2015 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/15 4:39 pm Page 45

Health Well Being &

February 2015 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/15 4:39 pm Page 46

GOODBYE TO GETTING OLD!

Age can be just a number if you follow the brilliantly simple life advice below...

So how is it that we all know some people who seem ‘old’ beyond their years — yet others seem to have a Dorian Gray-style portrait in the attic and barely age at all? After all, there’s no denying that the ageing process exists. For most of us, it actually starts in our late 20s, after our initial burst of growth and development. Once we peak, we must all face a very gradual physical decline.

Age really is just a number:

First, let’s start by addressing how you feel about your true age, whatever it may be. Do you tend to scoff when others tell you: ‘you’re only as old as you feel’? Well, you may have to think again. Because one important element which can make us seem and feel much older than we really are is the social and psychological effect of passing a landmark birthday, such as your 60th or 70th. Some people seem to crumple and give up.

Boost your energy levels, if you are overweight be honest and address the issue:

Your metabolism is the rate at which the body’s energy — from food and oxygen — is produced and used, and it is true that it slows a bit as we grow older. To know whether or not you need to lose weight, look in a mirror and BE HONEST! Some people are fortunate and lose weight after retirement as they are no longer tied to desk work, or hours of commuting by car or train, but others may find the pounds start to pile on. As a general rule, remember your weight at the age of 30 and aim for that as your target.

NO EXCUSES FOR NOT STARTING NOW...

Let’s imagine you’re in your 50s or 60s and feel perfectly OK. Even if you develop some long-term condition, fitness remains crucial because disease may reduce your ability to remain as active as you were before.

The THREE golden rules:

No matter what age you are, it’s seldom too late to start regaining some of your youthful energy, strength, flexibility and appearance. There are three crucial elements that will increase your chances of having a relatively trouble-free and independent old age.

• You have to become fitter — even if you already have one or more long-term conditions.

• You must actively reduce your risk of developing disease • You need to adopt a positive attitude to life, its problems and opportunities.

A few age related facts you may not expect!

•Optimists DO live longer: Looking on the bright side of life increases your life span.

•Walk 20 minutes a day to live longer: Huge study reveals the benefits of a brisk walk.

•How a couple of glasses of red could help you live longer: Substance found in grapes can protect against age-related diseases.

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February 2015 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/15 4:39 pm Page 47

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5IF UFBN BU Medi$BSF VOEFSTUBOE UIF " GVMM SBOHF PG TFSWWJDFT DPWFSJOH OFFE UP TFF BMM PG PVS DMJFOUT BT JOEJWJEVBMT BOE UBJMPS FWFSZ DBSF QBDLBHF UP NFFU ZPVS t 1PTU PQFSBUJWF DBSF SFIBCJMJUBUJPO t 4USP PLF 3FIBCJMJUBUJPO TQFDJmD OFFET t 1BMMJBUJWF $BSF t 0SUUIPQBFEJD 3FIBCJMJUBUJPO Established on the Costa del Sol since 2001 t 3FTQJUF $BSF Telephone: 952 835 776 t %JTUSJDU /VSTJOH 4FSWJDFT 24 Hour Helpline: 667 733 520 t (FOFSBM $BSF F 4VQQPSU -JWF *O $BSF t &TDPSUUFE 3FQBUSJBUJPO )PNF www.medicarenursingser g vices.com Quality in every aspect of care as well as support in times of need! info@medicarenursingservices.com

February 2015 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/15 4:40 pm Page 48

Medical Mayhem

A cardiac specialist died and at his funeral the coffin was placed in front of a huge mock up of a heart made up of flowers. When the pastor finished with the sermon and eulogy, and after everyone said their good-byes, the heart opened, the coffin rolled inside and the heart closed. Just then one of the mourners burst into laughter. The guy next to him asked: "Why are you laughing?" "I was thinking about my own funeral" the man replied. "What's so funny about that?�asked the second man to which the first man replied "I'm a gynecologist."

Patient: Doctor, doctor. I've come out in spots like cherries on a cake.

Doctor: Ah, you must have analogy.

A man goes to the doctor and says: 'Doctor, there's a piece of lettuce sticking out of my bottom.' The doctor asks him to drop his trousers and examines him.

The man asks: 'Is it serious, doctor?' and the doctor replies: 'I'm sorry to tell you, but this is just the tip of the iceberg.'

Genetic scientists say that one day it will be possible to grow new body parts, like new breasts and new hands. It’s going to be a huge moneymaker, because you know that as soon as women grow another breast, men will want another hand.

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February 2015 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/15 4:40 pm Page 49

February 2015 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/15 4:41 pm Page 50

ALL REVVED UP...

PROMO CARS

In 1962, the coachbuilder Rotrou built seven advertising vehicles for Butagaz on Simca 1000 chassis. Two loudspeakers were mounted on the top of the enormous bottle that served as the driver’s cab and were used to make advertising announcements when travelling through villages and towns. Only a few original Simca elements were retained: the headlamps, taillights number-plate light, steering wheel and dashboard.

This 1951 Renault, advertising confectioners Le Nain Gourmand was built at the beginning of 1952, as a publicity caravan for the Tour de France it was used by various firms up until the 1970s.

The Hoover promotional vehicle is built on a Renault Estafette base featuring the brand’s famous Bowl vacuum cleaner.

The Outspan orange, a modified 1972 Mini, if it goes more than 30mph it risks toppling over!

The Duckham’s Q, the 10 foot high oil can was used in a commercial with Paddy Hopkirk in the early 70’sThe front and side screens are removable for vision!

Hotdog brand Oscars Mayers has been using their Wienermobile in one form or another as promotion since 1936, their drivers are known as Hotdoggers!

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February 2015 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/15 5:26 pm Page 52

The way to anyone’s heart is through their stomach - Why not choose fat scallops for this speedy but smart pasta recipe - the ham wrappers will protect the tender shellfish and give an extra savoury hit!

Fettuccine with Seared Scallops Ingredients:

•6 scallops with corals •6 slices prosciutto, halved lengthways •175g fresh egg fettuccine or tagliatelle •3 tbsp extra virgin olive oil •4 garlic cloves, finely chopped

•¼ tsp thyme leaf •Zest of 1 lemon and juice ½ •4 tbsp dry white vermouth •Good handful chopped flat-leaf parsley

1) Cut the orange corals from the scallops and finely chop them. Halve the white scallops to make 2 fat pieces and roll them up in the strips of prosciutto.

3) Add the garlic to the pan juices and fry, stirring, until golden. Tip in the chopped corals and thyme, and stir-fry for a few mins more. Add the lemon zest, juice and vermouth, let it bubble down to at least half, then toss in the parsley. Drain the pasta and add to the pan with salt and plenty of black pepper, then toss to make sure the strands are well coated. Add the prosciuttowrapped scallops and serve drizzled with a little extra oil, if you like.

Method:

2) Cook the pasta in salted water following pack instructions – it should only take about 4 mins. Meanwhile, heat the oil in a large, deep sauté pan and sear the scallops for 1-2 mins, to brown the prosciutto and lightly cook the scallop inside. Lift from the pan onto a warm plate and leave to rest.

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February 2015 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/15 5:26 pm Page 54

Strangebuttrue...

ODD AND INTERESTING FACTS...

Hannibal Lecter: In the movie Silence of the Lambs, Hannibal Lecter never blinks.

Apparently, Anthony Hopkins watched a video of Charles Manson being interviewed and he didn’t blink. Acting at its finest.

still eat 3000-year-old honey if you wanted to.

McDonalds: McDonalds calls frequent buyers of their food “heavy users.” Ironic!

Mosquitos: It would take 1,200,000 mosquitoes, each sucking once, to completely drain the average human of blood.

Want to grow a beard faster?Think about sex.

Since facial hair is largely governed by the pro- Plastic Surgery: Worldwide, the United States duction of testosterone, even the anticipation undergoes the most plastic surgery procedures. Next in line is Mexico. of sex will help you grow a beard faster.

Surprise, surprise.

For every Overdosing on Chocolate: A lethal dose of Porn: chocolate is 22 pounds… or 40 Cadburys Dairy “normal'”webpage, there are five porn pages.

Milk bars!

Sleeping: You burn more calories sleeping Cleopatra: She lived closer in time to the than you do watching television. moon landing than to the construction of the Turtles: The Australian Fitzroy river turtle and Great Pyramid of Giza. the North American eastern painted turtle, Giraffes: A male giraffe will headbutt a female breathe through their bottoms. Both turtles in the bladder until she urinates, then taste her can breathe through their mouths if they so chose. urine to determine whether she is ovulating.

Goosebumps: Dead people can still get them. Twitter: In the US the CIA read about 5 million tweets a day, looking for any signs of terrorCreepy. ism. Be careful what you say!

Honey: It does not spoil. You could probably

GARDEN CENTER L I N D AV I S TA

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Ctra de Cadiz, Km171,29670, San Pedro de Alcantara, Behind McDonalds in San Pedro. Tel; 952785206

CLM©2008

H UG E R A N G E O F: P O TS lG A R D E N T O O L S lP L A N TS F L O W E R S & SH R UB S lGA RDE N F UR NIT URE lGARDEN ORNAMENTS

February 2015 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/15 5:26 pm Page 55

February 2015 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/15 5:26 pm Page 56

FINANCIAL NEWS The Euro & World Round Up

The specter of Q.E is looming for the Euro zone, the bigwigs met on the 22nd of January and talk of €635bn in money printing could just be the start of the bond-buying programme. As we know the euro fell like a stone against the USD$ and also dropped value against the British £.

This was caused by a weak economic data from the euro zone and also the un-pegging of the Swiss franc against the euro, this pushed £ - € over the 1.31 the highest its been in 7 years, not good for euro sellers!!!! There is also talk of the euro reaching parity with the USD$

Oil prices are also falling, there are rumours that it could drop to €30 per barrel which the Saudi’s could maintain at current supply levels!!!! Not good for the Global economy, oil companies have already started to pull the plug on future projects, staff have also been laid off, and rigs are not been jacked up, as at the moment, its just not profitable to drill for oil if its in deep water.

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The IMF gave a gloomy outlook for the global economy, its the worst outlook for 3 years, the Russian Recession and a slow down in the Chinese economy has been cited as some of the reasons, well they could have blamed it on the boogie!

The Chinese economy has also slowed its the worst result ion 24 years!!!! Government targets were expecting a growth and expansion of 7.4% in 2014; this came in well below the target.

It’s all about the General Election in the UK!

If you are buying or selling a property here in Spain, or are looking to exchange your money from £ to € or the other way, if you have any currency exchange requirement, please contact our currency partner Moneycorp.

952 587 657 – or by email costalink@moneycorp.com where a member of the team will be happy to help.

February 2015 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/15 5:26 pm Page 57

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What’s On Guide...

7th to the 28th February 2015: The Marbella Carnival includes fun and entertainment in four different areas of the city - Marbella center, San Pedro de Alcantara, Nueva Andalucia and Las Chapas.

This is a time where everyone dresses up in costume and participates in a number of activities offered by the city. For more information see: www.carnavaldemarbella.com 28th February 2015: Andalusia Day is a holiday celebrated to commemorate the referendum for Andalucia to become an autonomous community within Spain. Schools and most businesses are closed or have shortened hours on this day, so be sure to check opening hours of any business before you head out. Children in the region have the day off. Some cities celebrate the day with organised events or meals offering traditional food and entertainment, so look around for these. You will probably see the green and white Andalusian flag widely displayed in shops, businesses and hanging out of many balconies on Andalusia Day. At the Teatro Salon Varietes in Fuengirola this month...

6th to the 10th February 2015: Back to the good old days of music hall. Songs, music, comedy from the music halls of early 20th century Britain.

13th of February 2015: Keepin' it country! Johnny Westwood and the best of country music.

20th to the 24th of February 2015: Deathtrap. Comedic, murder-mystery thriller. Made into a film starring Michael Caine.

1st March 2015: St David’s day concert. Songs from Wales, "the land of song", with Ricky Lavazza & friends. For more information call: 952 47 45 42 or e-mail: boxoffice@salonvarietestheatre.com or visit the website www.salonvarietestheatre.com.

Every Monday: 11 am – 1 pm: Age Care Drop In where people can chat, share experiences and find out about living in Spain at La Iglesia Bar, near Bonanza Square, Benalmadena Costa.

Every Monday: Arts and Crafts Fair in Benahavis at 8pm in the Main Square in Benahavis.

Every Tuesday: The Costa Women Coffee Club meet every second Tuesday at 10am – 12.30pm for coffee, chats and other activities and is a social group designed to get ladies of all ages together. It’s best to join the group via Facebook or contact Emma on 608 408 771.

Every Tuesday: Dance with JiveSpain Miraflores Resturant from 8pm - 11pm. For more information see website at www.jivespain.com or call Colin on: 635 717 211.

Every Tuesday: 11 am – 1 pm Age Care Coffee Morning at the Baptist Church, Calahonda, where people can chat, share experiences & take part in a variety of activities. Tel: 952 933 409 for info.

Every Tuesday: Age Concern hold a meeting every Tuesday afternoon 14:00 till 16:00 at the Manila bar in Los Boliches offering Spanish and computer lessons.

Every Wednesday: Dance with JiveSpain at El Campanario, San Pedro, from 8pm - 11pm.

Every Wednesday: at 11:30am the Malaga Picasso Museum is offering free guided tours in English which is included with the price of admission Every Thursday: Dance with JiveSpain at Tikitano Restaurant, Estepona from 8pm - 11pm.

Every Thursday: Market at Calypso, Calahonda Every Thursday: Age Concern hold a meeting from 11:00 till 13:00 at the Manila bar in Los Boliches if you’d like some advice or just a friendly chat please drop by.

Every Thursday: Flea Market from 9am next to Aldi in Las Lagunas, plenty of parking.

Every Friday: Dance with JiveSpain at Hotel El Goleto, Duquesa from 8pm - 11pm.

Every Sunday: Dance with JiveSpain take over the dance floor at Atalaya Park Hotel.

Every Sunday: Flea Market EVERY Sunday 10am till 2pm at Calypso, Calahonda.

Every Sunday: FAMA have a car boot sale at the Hippodrome from 9am - 2pm.

Every Sunday: Craft Market every Sunday in the Marbella Marina on the Teresa Zabell Pier: 12-6pm.

If you have an event, fundraiser or anything else please let us know...

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email: editor@costalinkmagazine.com phone: 951 216 131 or 663 061 669

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February 2015 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/15 5:27 pm Page 60

ocal Info Emergency Numbers

---

Central number for Fire, Police & Ambulance National Police Local Police Guardia Civil dica

Medical

112 091 092 062

Emergency 061 Ambulance Marbella 902 505 061 Ambulance Coin 952 453 267

Health Centres

Town Halls

Marbella 952 761 100 San Pedro 952 453 020 La Cala de Mijas 952 493 208 Fuengirola 952 589 300 Estepona 952 801 100

Fire Brigade

Emergency number 080 Marbella 952 774 349 Estepona 952 804 483 Fuengirola 952 461 046 British Ireland Denmark Sweden Germany France U.S.A

952 952 952 952 952 952 952

Marbella Coin Estepona Fuengirola San Pedro

952 771 442 952 822 818 952 822 818 952 467 457 952 785 252

352 475 226 604 212 226 474

300 108 373 383 442 590 891

Tourist Information

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Bus Stations Marbella 952 764 400 Coin 952 450 366 San Pedro 952 781 396 Estepona 952 800249 For a list of complete times www.andalucia.com/travel/bus Train Timetables 902 240 202 Airports Malaga 952 048 844 Gibraltar 956 773 026

Marbella 952 769 946 Coin 952 452 767 San Pedro 952 787 700

Consulates

Transport

Markets

Monday - Marbella (fairground site on east side) Tuesday - Fuengirola (fairground near Los Boliches) Wednesday -Estepona (Avda.

Juan Carlos) La Cala - Feria ground.

Thursday - San Pedro (Recinto Ferial) Calypso (Mijas Costa).

Alhaurin el Grande - (La Fama) Saturday - Coin (Calle Urbano Pineda) & Nueva Andalucia (Next to Centro Plaza the Bullring).

La Cala - Feria ground.

Sunday - Puerto Estepona (Marina).

Cinemas

All the Cinemas listed below show films in English as well as Spanish. Call first to check what is showing that week.

Marbella: Cinesur Plaza del Mar 952 766 941 La Ca単ada 902 333 231 Puerto Banus: Gran Marbella 952 810 077 Coin: La Trocha 951 315 039 Fuengirola Cinesur Miramar 902 221 622

Chemists

24 hour chemist Urb. Artola, Ctra. Cadiz Km 194. Marbella.

Tel: 952 83 25 89

Taxis

Marbella Taxis 952 774 488 Mijas Costa Taxis 952 476 593

Diary Dates

February 14th 2015: Valentines Day February 17th 2015: Pancake Day (Shrove Tuesday)

February 12th to 22nd 2015: Cadiz Carnival February 28th 2015: Is "Andalusia Day" - Many business are closed or have short opening hours.

if you would like to sponsor this page please call 951 216 131

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February 2015 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/15 6:07 pm Page 62

S TA R S I GN S

A look at what's in store for you during February 2015...

Capricorn

Aquarius

Pisces

Aries

Taurus

Gemini 62

Capricorn, February promises to be a very favorable month if you are single or in a relationship!

Venus, the planet of love and harmony, has resumed its straight movement in Capricorn at the end of January, ending a phase of complications, blocks and inefficiency. The last three-month period, must have been rich in important events. Now conclusions will be drawn, things will clear up and new roads will be taken enthusiastically. Venus can finally offer you her gifts: love and fun. With Venus by your side and with Jupiter, you won't have only one Valentine's Day, but 28 days of them! Financially, February 2015 will bring nice earnings. Be careful, though, how you manage the money in the second part of the month and leave important transactions for after the 28th! Venus' coming back from the retrograde phase will boost optimism and good mood also good health. Take care when travelling though.

Aquarius, relationships will be in the spotlight throughout February 2015. You'll have magnetism and sex-appeal, you'll captivate and you'll challenge you in other words will be hot, hot, hot… Expect to have quite an active love life of which lots of moments will be amazing. If you ware looking for love Valentines Day 2015 may bring that someone special to your life… In the second part of the month an older relationship might come back to attention or you might have to talk about the sexual aspect of the relationship again, don’t worry things will become clear at the time. February promises to be a successful month for Aquarius people. The Sun will be in Aquarius, a position that will lend you energy and ambition and will highlight you better. Keep your modesty and the sense of measure!

Pisces, you’ll begin a difficult and ambiguous period as regards relationships. Mercury will be in retrograde in your sign and its retrograde movement will oscillate between two points, as if it couldn't decide which direction to take. Disappointments, secret relationships and past affairs are brought back to attention again. The good side of things is that, beyond all these, there will be enough offers and plenty of opportunities to have fun. The couple relationships based on friendship and conspiracy will be the most favored now. On the work front Mercury's retrograde movement will be good for sorting out papers and calculations or for finalizing procedures started some time ago. Use your imagination to express yourself creatively! Financially, you'll notice some improvement a change maybe even a windfall. Try to have enough rest, to take supplements with vitamins and minerals, to eat healthy food.

Aries, with the Lunar North Node in the relationships, sector of your sign 2014 and 2015 will be relevant years for relationships you'll realise how important the other person is for you and you'll look for ways to make the relationship work better. Things will not always be simple in this period, but they will eventually lead to a more satisfactory home life. This month may see you taking trips abroad or booking holidays. At work an older project might come back to attention when making decisions rely on your own thoughts first and foremost! In such circumstances, Arians will have the opportunity to become opinion leaders. Financially, February 2015 will be rewarding, active and fruitful. You'd better avoid exhaustion and excesses and not venture into risky actions this month try to keep active but also keep healthy.

Taurus, the first two weeks of February 2015 could be very romantic for you. It will be a good period to go out with your partner, to have fun with friends or make future plans. If you are single now is a great time to meet “the one”. You may feel isolated or could be under an impression of loneliness or dissatisfaction later in Feb. Try to make more of an effort with communication the rewards will follow. At work the Sun will be in highlighting career and status in your sign, a position which favors advancement, standing out, being in the center of attention and attracting admiration and positive appreciation. This will bring with it rewards improving or consolidating a more profitable outcome than you have had of late. In case you have any problem, ask for the support of the family! You'll get it.

Gemini, few the next years, Saturn will demand reliability and depth for within your love life, this will change the way you feel about your relationships and make them more stream lined and in much better shape. The first two weeks of February 2015 will see this begin, Venus, the planet of will be in the be making your feelings and wishes acquire importance and prevail over reason. Beware, though, because excessive feelings can lead to critical moments as well! On the work front information, communication and trips will be at the top of Gemini's preoccupations all throughout February 2015. The second and third weeks of February 2015 will be the most successful for professional accomplishment implying financial benefits also. Make a list of priorities and focus on it! Try to keep in shape this month it is recommended, however, to avoid excesses, towards which you'll now have a stronger inclination.

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Cancer

Leo

Virgo

Libra

Scorpio

Sagittarius

Cancer, the first two weeks of the month will not be very spectacular for your sign. The second part of the month however will be much more alert and more exciting. Venus, Mars and Uranus, will be brining excitement. There will be adventure, changes, novelty, surprises and turning points! With Valentines Day approaching expect a romantic trip on the horizon. At work Jupiter, Saturn and Uranus will be strategically located in your sign, creating a favorable current for career and money. Opportunities can appear at any time this month, keep and eye out for signs! Be prudent as regards financial procedures, especially in the first part of the month. Don't neglect your ailments (if you suffer from any) and do your best to lead a balanced and organised life! You are also recommended to have enough rest, to avoid sweets and fats, to exercise and to think positively.

Leo, Communication will remain essential to Leo's home life throughout February 2015.

Influenced by Mercury, which will be in retrograde, expect life to be full of discussions and debates. You might, however, have the tendency of overthinking everything and of worrying too much. Expect answers you will get the clarification you require. On the work and finance relationships with the others will be crucial for Leos. It will be about collaborations and group projects. Money will be in the center your preoccupations throughout February 2015: it will be the real reason of your initiatives. Avoid exaggerations and try to be more modest! Jupiter, located in Leo, gives you energy and makes you feel strong this month. Try to take care especially in the second half of the month, relax a little if you can.

Virgo, Venus and Mars will be in in your sign this month they will be teaming up with Jupiter and Uranus. Although it is the middle of winter, the first weeks of the month will be hot for Virgos. Big storms, flows of passion, sheer craziness! Your motto for the month will be "make it or break it!". The stars will be behind you all the way! On the work and finance front the key words will begin with "c": cooperation and collaboration. You'll interact with the others actively, you'll start new partnerships or maybe you'll end some partnerships aren’t working so well. You'll earn satisfactorily, but you'll spend accordingly.

The last week of the month will be especially dynamic from the financial point of view for Virgos, but it can be risky so prudence is recommended. February 2014 will also be significant as regards your lifestyle, your body is your temple – try and treat it as such take care of yourself.

Libra, unpredictable Uranus will be in the Lunar South Node this month. Expect the unexpected anything could happen without prior notice. What will happen to you will largely depend on you, so try to behave in a balanced and tactful way. It is possible that older problems will come to the surface or that misunderstandings related to communication will occur. On the work and finance front Venus and Mars will also be in conjunction for the first two weeks of February 2015. You'll have an active, busy, pressing month that will demand a lot from you. In the second part of the month you'll seize any idea and you'll excellently speculate any situation that seems tempting to you. After the 20th of February, caution when dealing with money! It will be a good period for check-ups, appointments with the dentist and other initiatives concerning the good condition of your body and health.

Scorpio, February 2014 will be a great month for fun. In the first two weeks, under the powerful influence of the Venus-Mars in your sign, you'll live life to the full and have lots of memorable adventures.

For Scorpios, this period will especially encourage new love stories and passion. With Jupiter in Scorpio's house of career, Uranus and Saturn supporting both of them you'll impose, improve your image, climb to the top.

In addition, your income will start to increase and if you manage it wisely, you can consolidate your financial situation. You'll have to make efforts accordingly, though. You will be in a great shape in February 2015, with your batteries fully charged, with lust for action, with fast and precise reactions, full of adrenaline. Fix something around the house, change, repaint or redecorate!

Sagittarius, the first part of February 2015 will a rather quite period, in which you'll cherish privacy. The second half of the month is a different ball game you will be out and about partying up a storm!

Also love will be in the air and it could manifest in the most unexpected and surprising ways. At work the start of the month sees you taking a test that will assess their knowledge and capacity to find solutions. You might have the feeling that you have an obstacle in your way, but you'll eventually win by intelligence and diplomatic negotiations. You could also make good money, but you'll have the tendency of spending too much, on account of wanting to look and feel good. Be careful what you say, what you promise, what you sign and what decisions you make in the first weeks! This month your body is in great shape, excesses and imprudence may take their toll though. Therefore, take it easy!

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February 2015 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/15 6:07 pm Page 65

February 2015 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/01/15 6:08 pm Page 66

puzzle Link The Words

Solutions on page 76

it out

In each of these puzzles, three words are listed. All you have to do is find another word that can preceed each of these 3 words.

1)

___

LION

WEED

SHORE

3)

____

MILL

SCREEN

FARM

____

GROUND

BONE

ACHE

2) 4) 5)

___

LANE

_____

HOUSE

STOP

BELT

FARE

CABBAGE

Guess The Celeb

A

B

Sudoku

Brain Teaser

After a local bungled heist, five suspects were being interviewed by the police.

Eventually the police managed to get a confession. Below is a summary of their statements and it turns out that exactly 5 of these statements were true. Would you make a good detective, try and work out who committed the crime?

Adrian said: It wasn't Barry - It was Cedric

Barry said: It wasn't Adrian - It was Derek

Cedric said: It wasn't Derek - It wasn't Barry Derek said: It wasn't Eric - It was Adrian

66

Eric said: It wasn't Cedric - It was Derek

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Crossword

Across: 1. Played at international level (6) 4. It could be wide or silver (6) 9. Twosome (3) 10. Breed of cat (7) 11. Clearly obvious (7) 12. Final sum (5) 13. Wading bird (5) 15. Mourning (5) 20. Granny Smith for example (5) 22. -------- Oyster is a hangover cure (7) 24. Pardon you from your sins (7) 25. Slang for diamonds (3) 26. Followed an eating plan (6) 27. Put on a show or event (6) Down: 1. Scrounges (6) 2. Pledge (7) 3. Follow on as a result (5) 5. Roman town in North of England (7) 6. Apply force or influence (5) 7. Stinging plant (6) 8. Irritable (5) 14. Supervise (7) 16. Piece of jewellery (7) 17. Limited to a certain sum (6) 18. Witch's hex or charm (5) 19. Fight off enemy attack (6) 21. Stage in development (5) 23. Spy or representative (5)

Name The Film

A A seventeen-year-old aristocrat, expect- B ing to be married to a rich claimant by her mother, falls in love with a kind but poor artist aboard the luxurious liner (1997).

This 2014 film staring: Channing Tatum & Jonah Hill. After going to high school (twice), officers Schmidt & Jenko go undercover at a local college.

Say What You See... rough

rough

step pets pets

rough

you can 1,2,3... it

rough

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The Jokespage

Jokespage

A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground, when he finally gets himself to the doctor.

He says, "How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancée is still a virgin in every way."

The doc said , "I'll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight.

It should be okay next week."

So he took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4-sided bandage, and wired it all together; an impressive work of art.

The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries, and on his honeymoon night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal a gorgeous set of breasts. This was the first time he saw them.

She says, "You are my FIRST, no one has ever touched these breasts."

He whips down his pants and says...

"Look at this, it's still in the CRATE!" When NASA started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work at zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion developing a pen that wrote at zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300C. The Russians used a pencil.

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A magician was working on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience was different each week so he did same tricks over and over. The problem was, the captain's parrot saw all the shows and began to understand how the magician did every trick.

He started shouting in the middle of the show: 'Look, it's not the same hat. Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table. Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?'

The magician was furious but, as it was the captain's parrot, he could do nothing.

Then one day the ship sank and the magician found himself floating on a piece of wood with the parrot.

They glared at each other but said nothing.

Finally, after a week, the parrot said: 'OK, I give up. Where's the boat?'

One day a father leaves work, and on his way home, he remembers that it's his daughter's birthday. He pulls over to a toy store, goes in and asks the salesperson, "How much is the Barbie on the display window?”

The salesperson answers, "Which one?

We have: Work-out Barbie for €19.95, Shopping Barbie for €19.95, Beach Barbie for €19.95, Disco Barbie for €19.95 and Divorced Barbie for €265.95. The amazed father asks: "What? Why is the Divorced Barbie €269.95, and the others only €19.95?"

The salesperson annoyingly answers: "Sir....., "Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer and....One of Ken's Friends.

fast food!

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puzzle Trivia Quiz Answers

1) Manuel 2) 1776 3) Breaking Bad 4) Tone 5) London Palladium 6) Bill Gates 7) Green, white and black 8) Pony Express 9) 4 of clubs 10) Tetley 11) 00 – double zero 12) Clint Eastwood 13) Hundred years war 14) National Exhibition Centre 15) Tony Blackburn 16) Boy in the dress 17) 50 Shades of Grey 18) Crimewatch 19) Aslan 20) 4 days 21) Crawley 22) Agent Dana Scully 23) Hats 24) Fingerprints 25) Over the rainbow 26) Steve Martin

Answers from 22, 66 & 67

it out

Link The Words 1) Sea 2) Bus 3) Wind 4) Green 5) Back

Guess The Celeb a) Justin Bieber b) Sheridan Smith

Brain Teaser

Answer: Eric committed the crime.

If we assume that Adrian was the culprit we can see that there would be 6 true statements, so it can't be Adrian. We can repeat this will all five suspects and quickly see that only Eric being the culprit would result in exactly 5 statements being true.

Crossword Solution

Sudoku Solution

Name The Film a) Titanic (1997)

b) 22 Jump Street (2014)

Say What You See 1) You can count on it

2) One step forward, two steps back

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3)A little rough around the edges

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