Forget me not

With my lovely in-laws Norman and Joyce

Hearing the story of how my in-laws met always left me misty-eyed. My father-inlaw Norman, 83, often recounted the tale... ‘I met my wife Joyce while we worked together as scientists at the University of Liverpool,’ he said. He vividly recalled their first date, a visit to the cathedral. ‘And the rest, as they say, is history,’ he finished. But it wasn’t just this ‘love at first sight’ story that made me smile. See, it proved Norman could still remember some things. Despite having Alzheimer’s, he’d never forget the love of his life. For as long as I’d known Norman and Joyce, they were inseparable. Always jetting off to take photos. Going on birdwatching tours. But in 2008, Joyce, then 72, was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. We’d noticed her strange behaviour for years. Often getting muddled or forgetting things at the shops. At first, me and my husband Michael, 43, thought it was old age. But as she became more forgetful, we began to worry. So, we encouraged her to see a doctor. And she was formally diagnosed.

Michael and

I helped out when we could and I organised for carers to come in and see her the rest of the time. Gradually, as happens with Alzheimer’s patients, she forgot how to do a lot of things. She couldn’t wash or dress. The saddest thing of all was when she stopped recognising Norman. Several times, she’d even called the police. ‘There’s a strange man in my house,’ she’d fret. She barely remembered Michael and me, let alone our son Samuel, who was born in March 2011. Devastating. Still, we arried on caring or her all day, very day. Until in July 2016, when oyce passed away just shy f her 80th birthday. We were all heartbroken, specially Norman. And things only got worse when, in September 2016, he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, too. He moved in with us, so we could care for him. And, just like Joyce, he gradually became more forgetful. Recent events and conversations vanished from his memory. Including the loss of Joyce. He believed she’d died a long time ago. All he spoke of was what he could remember. Things from years ago, like their first date or his work as a scientist. In August 2018, he moved into a care home. Now we visit Norman as much as possible. I work closely with Alzheimer’s Society to raise awareness. As a nurse, I thought I knew what having Alzheimer’s was like. But seeing my in-laws go through it has been harder than I could imagine. me not Memories may fade but love never, ever does Marie Lucas, 48, Norwich

More info? For more info and support, visit alzheimers.org.uk ‘There’s a strange man in my house!’ she’d fret My family and Norman: raising awareness