4 minute read
How to build resilience
With the engineering and construction market as busy as it is right now, as well as there still being levels of uncertainty in our economy, building resilience is such a key skill to master.
Now resilience is absolutely a skill that can be developed and learnt, but it requires a level of self-awareness, self-reflection, a willingness to get a bit uncomfortable and to take consistent action over time in order to build this skill.
Advertisement
You see, resilience is essentially the way at which we view life circumstances, life situations and what is happening to us or around us. Resilience is also then the action that we choose to take in response to adversity and ‘negative’ things happening to us or around us.
If we get flustered, or overwhelmed, or want to bury our heads in the sand and hide every time something doesn’t go our way, or a negative situation occurs in our days - then we simply aren’t going to be effective leaders and we aren’t going to be able to achieve the levels of success that we are aiming for in our teams, businesses and careers in general.
It is simply won’t happen.
On the other hand, if we can recognise and learn to see adversity as an opportunity to learn and grow i.e., looking at this experience through a different lens, then we can start to build the resilience and skills that will support us in the future as these types of situations and experiences arise (as they inevitably will).
So, lets now walk through the steps required to build resilience within ourselves as a skill set that can be called upon to navigate and ultimately succeed in tough, challenging or uncomfortable times.
The first step is awareness.
Learning to become aware that you have been triggered by a situation and that you’re wanting to retreat, hide or pull away – or fight / attack / stand up to the situation or person. This is the automatic fight or flight response ingrained within us.
Developing awareness can be hard at first, but it gets easier the more you practice it. If you have been triggered by a situation, it often feels like your body has become quite agitated, hot and heavy.
You might find yourself automatically wanting to move away or create space from the person or situation causing you to feel uncomfortable. Procrastination is really common here – doing menial or unimportant tasks because the ‘bigger rock’ tasks that you know you should be doing are making you feel anxious, worried, uncomfortable or agitated.
You also might find yourself wanting to stand up, fight, yell, get passive aggressive or have a go at the person or situation that has made you feel uncomfortable.
Everyone’s default response to a triggering or uncomfortable situation is different. It’s either fight or flight. Your work here is to build a level of selfawareness of what your automatic or default response is and then practice not acting or behaving this way. Remember we’re trying to build resilience here when times get tough – not acting the same default way that you have in the past which hasn’t served you.
The second step is to remind yourself that this is an opportunity to learn and to grow.
That this is an opportunity to dig in and get a bit uncomfortable. Sure the situation that you’re currently faced with is not what you wanted or asked for, but it’s here, it’s happened and you need to deal with it.
Remind yourself of your commitment to yourself and those around you that you’re using situations like these to learn and practice building the skill of resilience within yourself. Take a deep breath, lean into the situation, take charge, open up the communication and navigate it as best as you can in order to get the best outcome and resolution for all involved.
Remember, you are ultimately doing this in order to learn the skill set required to thrive in this environment when adversity raises his head again.
The third step is to repeat, repeat, repeat!!
The more you practice getting in, learning, doing hard things, getting a bit uncomfortable - the more you will learn to build resilience and ultimately learn to thrive in the future when tough situations arise.
So, make a commitment to yourself now, to practice building this skill of resilience based on the steps explored above and let me know how you go!
