Connextions Magazine - Issue 1 - NY

Issue #1

New York

1

THE

HUMAN

ORGANIZATION TRANSGENDER

RIGHTS

CAMPAIGN

WORKING EQUALITY.

TO BY

IS

AMERICA’S

ACHIEVE INSPIRING

LESBIAN, AND

LARGEST

CIVIL

GAY,

BISEXUAL

ENGAGING

ALL

RIGHTS AND

AMERICANS,

HRC STRIVES TO END DISCRIMINATION AGAINST LGBT CITIZENS AND REALIZE A NATION THAT ACHIEVES FUNDAMENTAL FAIRNESS AND EQUALITY FOR ALL.

HRC SEEKS TO IMPROVE THE LIVES OF LGBT AMERICANS BY ADVOCATING FOR EQUAL RIGHTS AND BENEFITS IN THE WORKPLACE, ENSURING FAMILIES ARE TREATED EQUALLY UNDER THE LAW, AND INCREASING PUBLIC SUPPORT AMONG ALL AMERICANS THROUGH INNOVATIVE ADVOCACY, EDUCATION AND OUTREACH PROGRAMS. HRC WORKS TO SECURE EQUAL RIGHTS FOR LGBT INDIVIDUALS AND FAMILIES AT THE FEDERAL AND STATE LEVELS BY LOBBYING ELECTED OFFICIALS, MOBILIZING GRASSROOTS SUPPORTERS, EDUCATING AMERICANS, INVESTING STRATEGICALLY TO ELECT FAIR-MINDED OFFICIALS AND PARTNERING WITH OTHER LGBT ORGANIZATIONS. WWW.HRC.ORG

New York State November 2010 Issue #1

16 6 Here

Inside New York City

14 Into The Wild Gay Yonder Meet Nathan Manske

26

16 Must Love Dogs

FEATURES

How Pet-friendly is NY?

24 The Fight for Family Meet Mikey Rox

26 NYC...JC Style

Luxury Hotel Alternative with a view

32 To Love or Not To Love

Long Distance Relationships

36 Something Old, Something New Avenue Pub celebrates 35 years Laci’s Tapas Bar Grand Opening

40 Re-Session?

Real Estate in NY

www.connextionsmagazine.com

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CONTRIBUTORS PUBLISHER/EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Shelly Straub

Letter

ART DIRECTOR Lucia Camarda LAYOUT & DESIGN John Paone

from the editor

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Christopher de la Torre Nikki Fenmore Special thanks to Annie Cleven, editor of SASS Magazine for the constant vote of confidence to “keep on…keepin’ on!”… as she would say.

Read Connextions Magazine online or purchase your print edition through our website at:

www.connextionsmagazine.com WRITE TO US: Do you have a question or comment regarding Issue #1 or future issues of Connextions Magazine? We would love to hear from you!

Email responses, press releases always welcomed shelly@connextionsmagazine.com Letters may be edited for space when included in our ‘Letters to the Editor’ column. All submissions become the property of Connextions Magazine.

W

elcome to the Premier Issue of Connextions Magazine! A publication dedicated to the unique life and styles of the LGBT community. The mission of our publication is not only to celebrate each state’s past, present, and future ‘pride’ but also to connect individuals, gay and straight alike. Together let’s break the barrier between the communities and support the statement that we are ‘united as one!’

In this issue we take you to New York State. Capture yourself in articles relating to travel in the big apple or Ithaca; hear from our graduates at Cornell University; learn of one of New York’s longest running night club establishments; and much more!

Our next issue highlights New Hampshire’s splendor, charm and beauty. Connect on our website to submit story ideas and/or places of interest.

A big thanks to all of you with whom I spoke over the past few months. I have become even more excited and enthusiastic about this journey because of your kind, encouraging and supportive comments. Please feel free to forward your thoughts and opinions of our first issue, enabling me to respond to your needs and concerns. Special gratitude to our subscribers who are located in 38 states and 6 countries!

The views and opinions stated throughout this magazine are not necessarily the opinions of staff at Connextions Magazine.

Shelly Straub Publisher/Editor-in-Chief

Connextions Magazine publishing office is located at 8601 Tartan Drive North, Cicero, New York 13039. Connextions Magazine will not knowingly publish or advertise text which is fraudulent or misleading.The publisher reserves the right to edit, limit, revise, or reject any text without cause. Connextions Magazine assumes no financial responsibility for typographical errors. If any errors are found, please notify Connextions Magazine immediately. Materials in this publication may not be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.

About the cover: Cover photo taken at Watkins Glen State Park in the Finger Lakes region of New York, by Stuart Gallagher Photography. As a personal friend for over 20 years, I encourage all of my readers to logon to Stuart’s website and view the mastery of his digital imagery. His prints are also for sale. http://stuartgallagher.zenfolio.com Here’s something fun…find the (4) symbols that represent New York State, hidden within the cover photo! I will give you a hint…the New York State animal is the beaver… can you find her? Logon on to our facebook page at Connextions Magazine and let us know if you’ve found them all!

New York State November 2010 Issue #1

18 10 NY Style Wedding 12 Nikki’s News & Views In her own words

18 Area of Attraction Ithaca is Gorges

38 Events Calendar phy & Design

Pride Events in NY

41 Website Highlights

sy: Fac ets Ph otogra

Connextions Picks

42 Haven

44 Professional Directory NY Business Links

10

courte

Cornell University Pride

Photo

DEPARTMENTS

Heather & Lisa

46 Next

In the next issue www.connextionsmagazine.com

5

Here

By Christopher de la Torre

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New York

New York City won’t take away your loneliness, or distract you from heartache, or make coming out and living any easier. Life in the Big Apple is more than the glitz and glam in a song or a movie. Life here requires more than a suitcase and a dream; it takes patience, stamina and strength to stand the scorching heat of society at its best.

And worst. This, the greatest city on Earth, won’t cure you from pain. It won’t banish your demons. Or give you character. Or make you famous or rich or powerful. Don’t let the pastiche of spoken languages, the sprawl of shops and eateries between public spaces, the wealth of music and history, or the euphoria you find in size or scale take you for a fool. Here, the concrete and glass are determined to pull you under. The same peace that lures you with the promise of greatness is, in the end, the tangled cord of

hesitation that will unravel your sanity. You will eventually fall prey to routine and think in terms of one collective identity. Your accelerated existence, now disposed to madness, will disconnect you from the world until you forget who you are. Then, in its quest to reanimate, evolve and expand, the city with usurp each of your senses, just as it does to countless others of every ethnicity, religion and sexual disposition, before finally assimilating you or rejecting you---this microcosm of civilization.

Here, the stakes are the highest, but so is the reward. Long before gentrification transformed the essence of authenticity, and rebellion screamed from the sides of subway cars and buildings, before hipsters wore cheap clothes and punk was dangerous, before disparity spawned assassins and serial

before house music defined the sound of an era, before hookers roamed free and 42nd Street peep show booths reeked of lube and cigarettes, and drag queens became community leaders, before Xtravaganza and Ninja, before houses made heroes and ballroom trained a generation of activists. Before Emanuel Xavier and Miguel Pinero and Bob Holman, before Nuyorican Poets Cafe and Bowery Poetry Club transformed lives with spoken word, poetry freed souls from mainstream illusion. Before James Baldwin and Truman Capote and Andrew Holleran, before Gertrude Stein and Tennessee Williams and Margaret Fuller. Here, before Herman Melville and Willa Cather and Langston Hughes, success wasn’t about opportunity, but about how missed opportunities could explain the glory of one’s achievements. Before 9/11 and Ground Zero, before surveillance cameras and terror alerts and picket lines, this city wasn’t just about diversity. It was, and still is, about millions of people from diverse backgrounds becoming one.

Here, I am one of many. On Tuesdays I sit with my therapist, just south of Union Square on East 11th. Then I drink a fresh squeezed carrot juice from the Internet cafe on University while I decide whether to have lunch nearby or continue home.

I cross 14th---the main artery that separates Chelsea from The Village---and pass through the artists on the square, half-heartedly catching glimpses of attractive men and women in various states of motion and rest. I approach the steps and scan for an empty space, then I sit. People seem to be most themselves in the afternoon, so I stop for a while and watch. Their stories---a trickle of humanity against the seemingly cold artifice of city life---are as colorful as the animated corpses strewn about on billboards and in store windows. Those stories make this city. Briefly, I am the nucleus of this atom, spinning out of control in the center of a universe of molting stars and writhing nebulae.

And life, for this calm instant, seems surreptitiously out of reach. Here. killers, and AIDS enveloped an entire generation, the future was born behind the eyes of the disenfranchised. Before Stonewall and the Christopher Street Liberation Day March and ACT UP! and Gay Men’s Health Crisis, before Larry Kramer and James Wentzy and Bayard Rustin and Angela Davis, before Mart Crowley’s now infamous line, “Show me a happy homosexual, and I’ll show you a gay corpse,” the scent of progress was fragrant.

Here, before Sound Factory and Paradise Garage, before Frankie Knuckles and Danny Tenaglia and Junior Vasquez,

A New York City native, Christopher de la Torre writes about society, science and technology.

In 2009, he produced the commemorative web series ‘40 Years After Stonewall’ for his website Urban Molecule.

Christopher writes for various online and print outlets, and his photography has appeared in Vogue and other publications. His graduate research explores new collaborative models of communication for science communities. Find out more at http://christopherdelatorre.com.

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M a r r i e d ...New York style

Until the end of time...

S

My love, my valentine

ome things are just meant to be! Lisa Morris and Heather McCarthy Morris, both natives of Upstate New York, made what seemed to be… the impossible, possible. Joining hearts and hands on September 4, 2010 was certainly no easy task.

During the planning period, wedding coordinator… aka…Lisa’s Mom, suffered from a heart attack and underwent open heart surgery and the bride-to-be, spent four fun filled days in the hospital with pneumonia. Despite the obstacles to overcome, no stone was left unturned and the details of this storybook ceremony were delivered with a touch of grace!

As stated by Lisa, “It was the most beautiful wedding and worth every hurdle!”

From proposal to ceremony in just eight short months, the commitment weekend was held at Jiminy Peak Mountain Resort in Hancock, MA. The entire wedding party including family and guests enjoyed the weekend getaway, which is common practice for New York style LGBT weddings. Although the celebration getaway with family and friends is an intimate touch on any wedding, we can only hope that one day, politics will change and a backyard celebration will be an alternative.

Congratulations Heather & Lisa!

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Photos courtesy: Facets Photography & Design

Nikki’s

News & Views

in her own words...

H

ello all you boyz and girlz out there, i am the one and only Nikki Fenmore!!! Here to dish about what’s hot and what’s not, who’s in and who’s out, movies, tv, music, etc etc.

So, start reading on your way to a waiting room, the “john”, or a plane ride....and enjoy!!!

American Idol is in its next and can we say “final season” (hahahahahahaha), and has introduced the new judges.

Of course “the dawg” Randy Jackson is staying (boring), but they’ve added J-Lo and Steven Tyler.

Here’s my view… J-Lo?!?!

Seriously?....it seems a desperate move. Yes, she has contributed to the worlds of music, dance, and acting (most notably SELENA)...but is she that talented? Not from her disastrous performance on New Year’s Rockin Eve. It was a train wreck and her outfit....bad taste!!! If a singer always lip-sync’s a performance (Paula) they should not be allowed to judge a show where winning by singing is the main criteria!!! I am sure there were some better choices out there. Ok, next is Steven Tyler, from Aerosmith, didn’t he just do a stint in rehab? Yes, let’s allow a drug induced alcoholic, to judge a bunch of star struck wannabes. What has this show come too??? So long Ellen...you just didn’t fit into the structure of the show. That’s all on Ellen though, cuz I do love her and she tried hard!!! So, will the show last without an “evil villain”??? Only if Steven Tyler steps up to the plate and delivers.

Just give him a few drinks and he may possibly shock us, hahahahahahaha.

Well, good luck American Idol!

last year’s “PARANORMAL ACTIVITY”?? It only made money because the trailer previewed the very few moments that had any hype, smart advertising!! So smart that they’re releasing “PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 2 in 3-D”, OMG really you ask??? Let’s hope that the next few movies like “MY SOUL TO TAKE”, “LET ME IN”, and “CASE 39” are actually creepy, scary, spookyyyyy, etc....so, if you hear anything bout them or go see these films email me and let me know how they are!!!

My favorite fall thing....All the new tv shows!!!! My returning faves “Desperate Housewives”, “Grey’s”, “Private Practice”, “ANTM” (America’s Next Top Model), etc etc are mixed in with a bunch of new, hot shows!! Already in my new dvr line-up are “Nikita”, “Hellcats”, “No Ordinary Family”, etc etc...omg we’d be here all night if I had to list everything! First, It blows that “Ugly Betty” got cancelled, but it gave, the one and only diva of tv, Vanessa Williams a chance to bring “DH” back to life. I’m love’n it and I hear she’s going to be great on the show. “Nikita” is already one of my faves. Maggie Q, who plays Nikita, is so beautiful and the right pick for this new version of an old story now (Le Fem Nikita etc etc).

Shane West, from “A WALK TO REMEMBER”, stars as her former boss. It’s got just the right amount of action, fighting, and damn good drama...check it

. . . a m a r d d o go n m a d d n a . ..

What’s up with this rash of scary movies that let’s say… are just not scary! “THE LAST EXORCISM”, boring!!!

I wanted to see a killing, or at least someone get cut with a butcher knife, but no....just a bunch of ho-hum til the uneventful finale. Did I really pay $10 to see this? How bout

o u t ! ! !

“Hellcats”, a show about cheerleaders, is amazing. And, it’s also good for the cheerleading community...cuz they never do get the credit they deserve. The show has fun storylines with a mix of drama for everyone!!

That does it for this issue of Nikki’s News & Views…always written ‘in my own words!’ Have a safe and happy Holiday season!

Kisses everyone…xxxxx

Give me a shout at fenmorenikki@yahoo.com

IN REVIEW fi lm + li te ra tu re

“WHERE MY GIRLS AT?”

literature

Women in blacklight 1979 - 1985 Edited by Sidney Brinkley (Blacklight, 120 pp., $18.95 pb).

This is a collection of essays from the long-standing publisher of African American LGBTQ books. It contains Joseph Beams’s [In the Life: A Black Gay Anthology] never before published “Conversation with Audre Lorde,” and reports on the first two Black Lesbian conferences to be held in the U.S., one report by Chi Hughes and the other by Tania Abdulahad.

Source :

w w w. q u e e r b o o k s . c o m

“STONEWALL”

film

The only actual film made about the Stonewall Era, the Stonewall People and the Stonewall Rebellion has been re-released on DVD. The original movie was filmed in 1994, edited in 1995 and released in 1996. It was produced by Gay Christine Vachon (U.S.) and directed by Gay Nigel Finch (U.K.). The SVA STONEWALL Veterans’ Association is acknowledged in the movie’s “Credits” for our factual Stonewall experiences recreated in the film. S.V.A. director Williamson (also in “Credits”) arranged for the Stonewall veteran ‘testimonials’ which are prominently featured at the beginning before it effectively segues into the exciting movie. Notice that SVA’s Queen Allyson Allante is listed seperately in ‘Cast Credits’.

Source:

h t t p : / / w w w. I M D B . c o m / t i t l e / t t 0 1 1 4 5 5 0

Into the Wild Gay Yonder

by Christopher de la Torre

N

athan Manske wanted to share the stories of queer rural America with the world. But amidst a flurry of messages from readers who had stumbled across his website, I’m From Driftwood, he secretly longed for a flesh and blood connection---the kind he couldn’t get replying to emails from his bedroom in Brooklyn.

That’s when he got the idea to take the operation on the road. Nathan enlisted his trusty video story editor and friend Marquise, and his brother Nick offered to drive the van. The trio would roam the country from state to state and host readings where they would share stories from that region and have discussions with the locals about their experiences. Meanwhile, volunteers Troy and Desiree would provide logistical support from back home. The tour would start in Driftwood, Texas and circle back around to conclude in Driftwood after a final stint in New Orleans four months later. And so began the 50 State Story Tour.

from left to right: Marquise, Nathan, Nick

Since its September 6 kickoff, the tour hasn’t experienced any homophobia, and according to Nathan everyone has been pleasant and supportive---gas station attendants and car mechanics included. It’s a most welcome reception after losing his last job to a withering economy. Serendipitously, Nathan was laid off from his job in advertising just two days after watching the film ‘Milk’---the story about out politician Harvey Milk that first inspired him to create a web community where people could share stories from all over the planet.

Now he had the time to move the project forward. His mantra: wherever you are, you are not alone.

So, what comes after the tour ends on January 10?

A second run most likely, but this time Nathan plans to spend more time in each state, heading what he calls more focused regional story tours, to give more people the opportunity to share their stories. “It’s not about the end product, it’s an ongoing project about collecting as many of these powerful stories as I can and sharing them. We don’t care where we go, because we know there will be gay people there. Gay people are everywhere.”

Follow the I’m From Driftwood 50 State Story Tour on Facebook and Twitter, and watch videos from all over the country on the I’m From Driftwood YouTube channel. Go to 50statestorytour.com and click ‘schedule’ to see when the tour will be in your state.

With more than 100 cities planned for the tour, the team certainly has its work cut out for them, and any project thrown together on a shoe string budget is bound to have its fair share of frustrations.

But the team pools their individual strengths and backgrounds to get the job done, in the process espousing the same unity advocated on the website.

Desiree arranges accommodations with local queer groups and community centers while Troy researches venues for readings. Local families volunteer to put up the trio for a night or two while they host local readings before heading back out. Readings are held wherever the Story Tour is welcome---anywhere from LGBT centers to bookstores to bars. Nathan says the readings not only provide the connection he was missing in Brooklyn, but also help him take the stories to the people.

visit

http://imfromdriftwood.com www.connextionsmagazine.com

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must love

Monroe / Photo courtesy: Alicia Meyers

Dogs

Sally Celine / Photo courtesy: Annie Cleven

“Come to mamma baby, thats a good boy.” You know you have said it in one form or another to your four-legged child, not your human one.

We absolutely adore our furry friends! They are more than just our little “poopers,” they are part of our beloved family. They have personality, humor, and in some cases major attitude!

I know that when my lab mix thought he was in trouble, by my stern voice, he would start limping on his back leg. Of course I would drop everything, pamper him, and then go over the leg very thoroughly praying there was no break or sprain. Would you know, the minute my knees hit the ground and my tone went right to coddling my baby boy, a miracle happened and his leg was healed!! I was only fooled about half a dozen times before I actually figured out

Ebony & Bandit

that my dog out smarted me…multiple times!

Now tell me they are not just like kids!

But wait! The best are the birthday parties, and holidays. For sure there are many of you sheepishly admitting to yourselves that you have sent out invitations for your pets birthday party…to the neighbors and friends pets…not your neighbors and friends! Well don’t blush, you are NOT alone!

Going places hasn’t always been easy! In some cases calls are made to hotels and such to take the whole family along for the ride.

Pooch friendly beaches, coffee bars and park books are available out there and we intently flip through the pages because we can not stand the thought of our precious little baby having access to anywhere be denied. Check out

Miss B & Gus / Photo courtesy: Stuart Gallagher Photography

www.dogfriendly.com for world-wide pet travel guides & books, blogs, pet friendly listings for hotels, parks, restaurants and events! New York City made the list for the ‘Top 10 Dog Friendly Cities in the United States’ by dogfriendly. com! Walk your pets through Tiffany’s on Fifth Avenue to accessorize, take them site-seeing at the Statue of Liberty or stay at the Crowne Plaza Hotel in Times Square!

For a little pampering and a bath that doesn’t soak your interior design, stop by K9 Wash & Go on Main Street in North Syracuse (Upstate NY). You can forget cleaning hair out of your tub and just spend some time bonding with your best bud. They offer multiple shampoo choices, skin care products and easy to use massage faucets for all sized pets, with NO clean up!

So I

Debo / Photo courtesy: Lisa Walton

You can not beat the hassle free experience that both you and your pup will love.

Our lives revolve mostly around our pets that depend on us. We feed them, walk them, pet them, bath them, teach them and play with them. And it seems sometimes we are overwhelmed with responsibility for them, but when we come home and they shower us with unconditional love and adoration it makes everything worth it. When we are sad or crying and they come sit next to us with silent understanding as if to say, “don’t worry, I am here for you.” When our day goes from bad to worse and it seems the world is against us, they are enthusiastic to be by our side saying, “bring it on!”

? s id k e k li t s ju t o n re a y e ask you again, tell me th www.connextionsmagazine.com

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Let’s

Bounce

Robert H. Treman State Park

Enjoy culture, diversity, and spectacular views in

I T H AC A , N Y ! www.connextionsmagazine.com

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Buttermilk Falls State Park

It is no list as

Robert H. Treman State Park

As a child, I can recall camping trips to

Ithaca, visiting Buttermilk Falls and Robert H. Treman State Park. Riding bikes and swimming during the day, then eating smores while laying flat on the picnic table staring at the blanket of starts glistening in the clear night sky. It wasn’t until much later in life when I was able to appreciate the fascinating culture and delectable diversity offered in a community as gorgeous as Ithaca.

It is no surprise to me that Ithaca made the list as “Most Liberal Places in America” by www. epodunk.com, or that The Utne Reader named the city “America’s most enlightened Town.”

Home to the prestigious Ivy League Cornell University, it would not be unusual to see a local walking through the infamous Ithaca Commons with dreadlocks, a backpack and no shoes in this college town.

Ithaca may not be a place where ’everybody knows your name’… but the LGBT community certainly feels welcomed rather than just accepted. Partners walking hand-in-hand don’t get the ‘double take’ from passers by. It is commonplace in this community. Statistics from city-data.com

show lesbian couples account for 0.8% of all households and gay men account for 0.5% of all households. This may seem like a small percentage but compared to a city such as Rochester, NY where the population difference is over 203,000 more residents, their statistics show only 0.4% for lesbian households and 0.5% for gay men.

You ask: What is there to do in Ithaca? I ask: What ISN’T there to do in Ithaca? Set on the southern shore of Cayuga Lake, sailboats, fishing, and tours on the water are pristine when weather permits.

Imagine a 220 acre wildlife sanctuary with more than four miles of walking trails, found at the Cornell Lab of Ornithology/Sapsucker Woods Sanctuary.

Take a scenic hike

e h t e d a m a c a h t I t a h t e m ” o a t c i e r s i e r p m r A u s n i s e c a l P l a r e b i L “Most

Ithaca Commons

through a one mile long gorge at Fall Creek with waterfalls, cascades and rapids!

When seeking shelter from our temperamental weather in Central New York, visit several art galleries, find plenty of unique gifts in ‘the commons’ shopping strip, or maybe a wine tour is just up your alley! For a great history lesson, the Museum of the Earth at the Paleontological Research Institution, as well as the EarthScience Center are great ways to practice reverse psychology on the kids!

Did you know?

• The Tompkins County Public Library in Ithaca hosts a used book sale twice a year and it is claimed to be the 3rd largest used book sale in the United States.

• In June of 2008, 6,000 Ithaca residents set the unofficial world record for the largest human peace sign at Stewart Park.

• In 2006, VegNews Magazine listed this unique town as one of the “12 Hippest Hometowns for Vegetarians.”

• According to a poll taken by www. city-data.com, East Ithaca is #49 on the list of “Top 101 zip codes with the most full service restaurants in 2005”.

So whether a camping trip with the young ones is on the agenda or a romantic getaway at a quaint B&B would better fit your mood, I would say Ithaca is a great place to stop and smell the roses! As the locals would say, “Ithaca is gorges!”

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In Memory

The LGBT community has struggled with suicide since long before ‘coming out of the closet’. A special thank you to the media for finally giving this crisis the attention deserved.

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The Fight

For Family

by Christopher de la Torre

A

sking for another man’s hand in marriage can’t be easy, especially when half the country says you’re going to hell regardless of his answer. But Mikey Rox, principal of Paper Rox Scissors---a copy and creative consulting company in New York City---did just that. And, as if the nail-biting suspense of waiting for your fiance to say ‘yes’ in person isn’t heart-scorching enough, Mikey took his proposal online. That’s right. He asked his boyfriend to marry him with the world wide web as his witness. Mikey’s YouTube video garnered attention from various media outlets, eventually giving him enough visibility to land a spot on the front page of CNN.com; this time to address antigay bullying in America’s schools. Mikey and Earl are now happily married in New York City and are well into the next stage of their life together.

And like other married couples, they share in success and help each other through hardship.

Moving to a new city, starting a business, getting the guy, and buying your first home takes some serious brass.

Since opening its doors last year, Paper Rox Scissors has signed William Green & Associates and DKNY as clients. Not bad. A recognized journalist, Mikey was tired of working for others, and felt the company would give him a chance to master another genre of writing.

Visit Paper Rox Scissors at www.paperroxscissors.com

Mikey Rox (L) and Everett Earl Morrow (R)

He started working on the concept for Paper Rox Scissors in early 2009, and Earl offered to pitch in extra with the couple’s expenses so that Mikey could concentrate on the business. The company officially launched that July. He began to get the word out via Craigslist and at networking events and, the rest as they say, is history. Now Mikey can plan for his and Earl’s future---one he says includes children. But the young entrepreneur is fully aware of the complications faced by same-sex couples wanting to adopt---a reality brought closer to home when he and Earl bought their first condominium.

Purchasing a home was something Mikey and Earl wanted to do together---a dream come true for any newly married couple. As an inactive reserve navy Lieutenant, Earl qualified for a VA loan, but since neither the federal government nor the military recognize same-sex partnerships, Mikey’s name can’t be listed on the title. Although a bit different now that they are married, Mikey has essentially forfeited his rights to the property. Needless to say, legal complications put a damper on what was to be a major milestone for the couple.

Mikey, who came out seven years ago, recently posted on his Facebook page that he’s never looked back, adding that it only gets better. But it’s couples like Mikey and Earl that are at the center of escalating debates between left and right over marriage, adoption and gays in the military.

Some say certain rights are strictly for straights, and that gays shouldn’t be allowed to participate. Mikey’, the eternal optimist, has two words for them. “Watch Me,” he says.

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View from Jersey City

. . e . l y C t Y N JC S

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Jarl Haugedal

E

xperience New York City like you never have before. Imagine rolling over in bed and opening your eyes to view one of the most beautiful skylines ever envisioned just across the Hudson River. Doing this from a luxurious styled apartment is not something that everyone can afford.

Jarl Haugedal felt that everyone should have the opportunity for some upper class treatment without having to dig deep into all pockets to get there. It is a truly amazing feeling to spend an entire day of shopping in the bustle of one of the most renowned cities in the world and be able to kick back in a peaceful atmosphere with all the amenities of home.

3-bedrooms available that can sleep up to eight people with NO additional charge, family and friends alike can indulge worry free.

Walking into NYC-JC you will immediately feel like a VIP as you are personally greeted at check-in and escorted to your accommodations. If you can catch your breath after it is stolen by the view walking through the door, you will find a fully furnished, clean, spacious modern designed apartment. An implausible kitchen for creating your own meals, with the option of having the fridge stocked with your needs prior to your arrival!

Also pet friendly including a mini self spa to pamper your pooch, a doggie playground and dog walk.

Indulge yourself while staying, with a gym, movie screening room, conference center, and the hard to find in the city, swimming pool which has a poolside BBQ located on the eleventh floor with the skyline as your backdrop.

Whether your stay is corporate or a getaway vacation, long or short term, the experience will be that of beyond satisfaction. Outstanding living coupled with the quiet streets and exquisite architecture of Jersey City, your day begins and ends in total relaxation providing you with the energy to keep up with tireless New Yorkers just minutes away.

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We are the voice & bridge of LGBT business in the NYC Area.

As the first gay/lesbian Chamber of Commerce in NYC, we are here to assist businesses obtain SBA Certification.

NY State Certification and loan processes.

NYC NYCLGBT LGBTChamber Chamberof ofCommerce Commerce Rev Carmen Hernandez is the CEO/Founder/Outreach/Pastor at Stratford Community Services, Inc. As an activist in the Soundview section of the Bronx for the pst 25 years, Rev. Carmen Hernandez has helped empower at risk inner city kids. The Rev has proved to be a vital part of the South East Bronx community.

Contact Rev. Carmen Hernandez President/Founder (646) 401.7918 Email: nyclgbtchamber@msn.com Website: www.nyclgbtcc.com

The NYC LGBT Chamber of Commerce Inc. is a not-for profit 501 (c) (6) whose purpose is to assist and facilitate in economic development opportunities for LGBT and minority businesses.

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A ll you need is love. Somebody once said, but

what happens when your love is living hundreds, or even thousands of miles away in another country?

Love

To

As the world is getting smaller, thanks mainly to air travel; it seems that more and more

As with any sort of relationship, there are undoubtedly times where frustrations start creeping in. You may feel lonely, wonder what the other person is doing while you are not there or even doubt their fidelity to you. The quality time that you spend together, probably on the end of a telephone line can quickly end up in mind games, destroying the small amount of time you do get to be close together. You do not have the luxury that normal couples have, so making the most of this quality time should be top of your agenda.

If the wonders do start creeping up on you, remember that your relationship is built on trust, love and respect.

Not to Love...

or

of us are looking further afield to find love. There are millions of people who are involved with long distance relationships, despite the preconceived notion that they just don’t work.

If you are one of the many millions of people who feel lonely right now because the love of your life is far away, console yourself with the thought that long distance relationships can, and do work.

Some people have chosen to be in long distance relationships, while others are in the situation due to work commitments. It is reported that there are at least 10 million people worldwide involved with long distance relationships of some sort. Thought you were the only person suffering from the heart ache? Think again.

Like any relationship, long distance relationships require effort for them to succeed. You may think that more effort is required than normal relationships, but think about the situation you are in right now. Where your relationship differs from a normal relationship, is the fact that you have time to live for yourself. How many couples do you know of, who complain that they never have time for themselves. Making the most of this time apart can actually bring you closer together. You have to be interesting for someone to be interested in you.

Take this time apart to pursue hobbies or find new interests.

It is said that the hardest part of a long distance relationship, is the goodbye. You had probably spent time getting to know each other again and before you know it, it’s time to go. Whilst at the airport or train station bidding farewell, try and think about the next time you will together and what you will do. Planning is a great way of dealing with the heart ache, and gives you both something

from afar

to look forward to. It also gives your mind a sense of security knowing that you are working towards the same goal.

We said earlier that long distance relationships do work and there is no reason that yours can’t either.

Love is never easy and should never be taken for granted. If you both put the effort in, you will certainly reap the rewards.

www.connextionsmagazine.com

33

HISTORY OF THE RAINBOW FLAG

T

he rainbow flag has become one of the most widely used and recognized symbols of the gay pride movement. The concept of the rainbow is hardly a new one. Rainbows have been used since ancient times in all kinds of cultures, including Greek, African, Native American, and Celtic, to name only a few. Even Jesse Jackson’s Rainbow Coalition has made use of the rainbow as a freedom symbol.

The rainbow flag as we know it today was developed

by San Francisco artist Gilbert Baker in 1978. At the time, there was need for a gay symbol which could be used year after year for the San Francisco Gay and Lesbian Pride Parade. Baker took inspiration from many sources, the hippies movement to the black civil rights movement, and came up with a flag using eight stripes. Color has always played an important role in the gay rights movement – Victorian England symbolized homosexuality with the color green, lavender became popular in the 1960’s, and pink used inside the triangle has caught on as well. The colors of the gay flag were no different. Baker explained that his colors each stood for a different aspect of gay and lesbian life:

HOT PINK for sexuality RED for life ORANGE for healing YELLOW for the sun GREEN for nature BLUE for art INDIGO for harmony VIOLET for spirit

Baker and thirty other volunteers hand-stitched and hand-dyed two large prototype flags for the 1978 parade. It was an immediate hit. However, when Baker took his design to the San Francisco Flag Co. to have it mass-produced for the 1979 parade, he had to remove the hot pink stripe.

Baker had hand-dyed the color, and unfortunately pink was not commercially available.

Later that year, when the city’s first openly gay supervisor, Harvey Milk, was assassinated, the 1979 Pride Parade Committee found in Baker’s flag, the perfect symbol for the entire gay community to unite in protest of this tragedy. The committee got rid of the indigo stripe to make the colors evenly divisible along the parade route; red, orange, and yellow on one side of the street; green, blue, and purple on the other. (This version also conforms to traditional color theory – the three primary colors and three secondary colors in art – rather than the spectrum of light colors of ROYGBIV.) Thus, today’s six color flag was born!

Find Jewelry, Pride items, T-shirts, Flags, Gift items, Gay & Lesbian Literature at: The Lavender Inkwell Bookshoppe 304 N. McBride Street, Syracuse, NY 13203 315.424.7191 / lavenderinkwell@verizon.net

www.lavenderinkwell.com

Ameriprise Financial helps you stay true to your dreams.

Ameriprise Financial has been a leader in financial planning for the gay and lesbian community for decades.

As a Financial Advisor, I can help you plan for your needs with investment advice, estate planning strategies and financial planning with your partner. Simply put, I believe in your dreams. I can help you plan to make them happen.

Ameriprise Financial is proud to be recognized with another perfect score on the Human Rights Campaign’s Corporate Equality Index.

To start a conversation call (315) 251.0512 today.

Vivian M. Derrickson, CFP®, CLU® Senior Financial Advisor Certified finanCial PlannerTM practitioner 6319 Fly Road #2 East Syracuse, NY 13057 (315) 251.0512 ext. 209 vivian.m.derrickson@ampf.com ameripriseadvisors.com/vivian.m.derrickson Brokerage, investment and financial advisory services are made available through Ameriprise Financial Services, Inc., Member FINRA and SIPC. Some products and services may not be available in all jurisdictions or to all clients. © 2010 Ameriprise Financial, Inc. All rights reserved.

www.connextionsmagazine.com

35

In

the blink of an eye, 35 years have gone by. The Avenue Pub in Rochester, NY opened its doors in 1975 and has been thriving ever since. With a home-town atmosphere, wonderful array of patrons and staff, this establishment truly makes for a “cheers” welcome.

From the good ol’ days of the ‘gay strip’ being located on Monroe Avenue, owner Gary Sweet slipped on his ruby reds expanding the community from downtown Rochester into the ‘burbs.

It’s become a favorite for the locals both gay and straight and it’s not hard to see why.

Something

old

Owner: Gary Sweet

Once you cross the threshold, the “wall of shame” will no doubt put a smile on your face! Photos of the past to the present displayed proudly for everyone to enjoy the fun. Carolyn Zook, who has been part of the Pub, serving from behind the bar to its patrons for twenty-five years, sets warmth and laughter right in front of you with your order.

There is no doubt that Gary Sweet and the Avenue Pub are a refreshing classic that returns year after year for great fun, cold drinks, hot food and pride events that bring the community together!

midst the lighting A and the ambiance, knowing anyone in the establishment is not necessary. The tone is that of friends and family, together are welcome!

Laughter and outstanding company mingled with fantastic food make for an evening to be remembered.

Something

New

ra

ers:

Own

au &L indy

Brought to us by owners Laura and Cindy, Laci’s grand opening this year was a hit among the community and already has regular patrons whom enjoy the social gratis this haven has to offer.

Tapas is the name for a wide variety of appetizers or snacks that can be ordered individually or many to make a whole meal if desired, while still allowing the patron to meet and mingle freely. Set up in quaint yet spacious atmosphere, elaborate detail and nothing overlooked, including the quality of the superb food, this establishment leaves only great tastes with everyone!

With such a fabulous concept, Syracuse has proudly embraced Laci’s Tapas Bar. Whether you come alone or with friends, business or pleasure, disappointment is not on the menu.

C

www.connextionsmagazine.com

37

Events Calendar

NYS Pride Celebrations in 2011

New York City - Manhattan

June 18, 2011 June 25, 2011 June 26, 2011 June 26, 2011 June 26, 2011 June 2011

www.nycpride.org

The Rally Rapture on the River Pridefest The March Dance on the Pier Petpride

New York City - B ro ok ly n www.brooklynpride.org June 2011

New Yo rk Ci ty - Q uee ns

www.queenspride.com

New York City - Staten Island

www.myspace.com/siprideevents

New York City - Long Island

www.liprideparade.com

June 2011

June 2011

Rockland County New Paltz Syracuse

June 2011

Albany

19th Annual festival

Check website for details

Rally, parade and festival

www.gaypriderockland.org Check website for details

www.lgbtqcenter.org

Check website for details

www.cnypride.org

Weekend long activities – including Saturday parade and festival, Sunday park outing

www.cdglcc.org

June 2011 Several week long events, activities, festivals, and parade.

Buffalo

www.pridecenterwny.org

June 2011 Weekend long activities, including Saturday

street festival and dyke march, Sunday parade and festival

Southern Tier

July 2011

Rochester

July 2011

www.southerntierpride.com Saturday festivities

www.rochesterpride.com

22nd annual celebration Weekend long activities, including Friday family day, Saturday parade and festival, Sunday picnic www.connextionsmagazine.com

39

Re-Session?

D L SO

Cities gathering clout in todays economy

The National Association of Gay & Lesbian Real Estate Professionals (NAGLREP) is a gay real estate trade organization with local chapters all over the USA and international destinations.

Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, and Gay Friendly real estate professionals of NAGLREP provide a sensitive understanding of the specific needs of our GLBT community.

NAGLREP members are advocates of your goals and represent all of the leading national real estate brokerages.

In November of 2010, The National Association of Realtors (NAR) delegate body will vote on a proposal brought forward by NAGLREP to amend the NAR Code of Ethics to include sexual orientation as a protected class. NAR’s Code of Ethics pertains to both Realtor conduct, and conduct in the workplace.

For more information visit

www.naglrep.com

C N N M o n e y ranks

Syracuse as the most affordable city in the U.S. as of August 2010. Syracuse snatched the title from Indianapolis. According to CNN, affordability is high here because home prices are so low. The median home sells for under $65,000. The national average income is $64,400. l Top 5

:

e cities

l fordab east af

1. New York City 2. San Francisco 3. Santa Ana, Calif.

4. Los Angeles 5. Honolulu

Top

5

most a

ies: t i c e l b fforda

1. Syracuse

2. Indianapolis 3. Detroit 4. Youngstown, Ohio 5. Buffalo

For more information: h ttp://money.cnn.com

We b s i t e H i g hl ig ht s www.zazzle.com

Creators of custom t-shirts, gifts, art & much more, all searchable by topic. For example, type “gay” in their web search and you will find uniquely printed material with some great verbage! One particular item that kept me laughing was the doggie t-shirt that read “I’m not gay but I support gay adoption”

www.bestgaynewyork.com

A fantastic site for New York City LGBT news, entertainment and events! Whatever floats your fancy, this site has something for everyone living in or visiting the “Big Apple!”

www.visitbuffaloniagara.com

Welcome to the “Queen City!” Click on the 48 Hours in LGBT Buffalo link and experience all that western New York has to offer. With no details missing, this website gets five stars from Connextions Magazine!

www.twosomegifts.com

For something a little different, something sweetly romantic, something corny for your lovebug, or for that insanely annoying couple that needs to ‘get a room’… check out these t-shirts and pillowcases designed for gay and lesbian couples!

www.sevenevenclothing.com

Named Entrepreneur of the Year by Outlook Magazine, Seven Even Clothing line is a must see!

For lesbians alike, Seven Even Clothing line is more than just the garden-variety rainbow t-shirt.

If you’re as curious as I was about the meaning behind the name “seven even”… check them out! www.connextionsmagazine.com

41

HAVEN W ri tt en by : St

cl as s of ’1 2 an d A le ep ha n M al do na do ,

Cornell University has been home to organized LGBTQ student groups for over 40 years.

x Tayl or, cl as s of ’1

3

During

that time these groups have been working to make our university a safe, accepting, and enriching campus for the thousands of Cornellians who attend under the university’s “any student, any study” philosophy.

Forging the way for the dynamic LGBTQ community that now calls our campus home was the Student Homophile League (later known as the Gay Liberation Front), a group founded in 1968 after news of Columbia’s progressive Student Homophile League reached Ithaca. Cornell’s was the second gay

rights group formed on a college campus and one of the organizations that laid the foundation for queer

awareness in higher education. The Student Homophile League fostered an environment that encouraged queer pride at a time when the gay rights movement was just blossoming in major cities across the US. Over the years the Student Homophile League grew and transformed, changing names and mission

statements a number of times to reflect current events as well as the evolving interests and concerns of its members.

Today, the LGBT community on Cornell’s campus is experiencing a spirited reawakening.

HAVEN: The LGBTQ Student Union is making tremendous strides in increasing awareness about our community through educational and social programs. HAVEN is the hub for a

plethora of different organizations that work to broaden our community and foster a sense of belonging and acceptance. These groups include the Gay Straight Alliance, OUTREACH: A support group for Gay, Bisexual, and Questioning Men, LBQ: A support group for Lesbian, Bisexual, and Questioning Women, DASH: Direct Action to Stop Heterosexism, and many

others. We have even recently established Q Magazine: Cornell’s first magazine dedicated to news about the LGBT and Ally community. The LGBT Resource Center is an excellent

place where students can meet to socialize, study, learn, and plan events, and this year, we have many exciting programs and events in store for the Cornell Community. This year, we will be hosting such speakers as Kit Yan, Kate Bornstein, and Dr. Marjorie Hill. We recently held a night of Drag Bingo, hosted by Ru Paul’s Drag Race contestant Pandora Boxx, and preparations have already begun for HAVEN’S largest annual event—the gigantic LGBT

and Ally dance entitled Filthy Gorgeous. Filthy Gorgeous is one of Cornell’s most anticipated

and exciting events of the year. It is designed to bring the entire campus community together to dance and have fun, but most importantly, it is a fundraiser for New York City’s shelter for transgender youth, Sylvia’s Place.

Though the appearance and members of Cornell’s LGBTQ groups have surely changed since 1968, the overall goal has remained the same: make Cornell a

place where our peers can learn and grow as individuals while feeling welcomed and supported by the community.

www.connextionsmagazine.com

43

ACT-UP AIDS crisis center 332 Bleecker Street, Suite G5 New York, NY 10014 www.actupny.org actupny@panix.com 212.966.4873 Actors’ Fund of America Entertainers/performers 729 7th Avenue, 10th fl New York, NY 10019 www.actorsfund.org 212.221.7300 ADODI New York African Men support group PO Box 7417, JAF Station New York, NY 10016 www.adodiintl.com adodiny@aol.com 718.596.0342 x15 AIDS Community Research Initiative of America 230 W. 38th Street, 17th fl New York, NY 10018 www.acria.org info@acria.org 212.924.3934 Ali Forney Center Services for Homeless LGBTQY 224 W. 35th Street New York, NY 10001 www.aliforneycenter.org carlsiciliano@aol.com 212.222.3427

Live & Let Live Gay Group of Alcoholics Anonymous 521 N. Broadway PO Box 271 Nyack, NY 10960 www.forusa.org for@forusa.org 845.358.4601

Directory

ACB NYC Support group for Jehovah’s Witnesses who identify as LGBT www.acbnyc.com info@acbnyc.com 646.206.3090

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention 120 Wall Street, 22nd fl New York, NY 10005 www.afsp.org inquiry@afsp.org 888.333.AFSP

American Indian Community House – HIV/AIDS Program 11 Broadway, 2nd fl New York, NY 10004 www.aich.org lareniaf@aich.org 212.598.0100 x242 Buffalo Gay Mens Chorus www.buffalogaymenschorus.com 716.883.1277 Freedom to Marry Marriage Equality 116 W. 23rd Street, Ste 500 New York, NY 10011 www.freedomtomarry.org info@freedomtomarry.org 212.851.8418

LIVE OUT LOUD Programming, scholarships for LGBT youth 570 Seventh Avenue, 9th fl New York, NY 10018 www.liveoutloud.info info@liveoutloud.info 212.651.4236 NAGLREP National Association of Gay & Lesbian Real Estate Professionals www.naglrep.com

Professional

NON-PROFIT/SERVICE ORGANIZATIONS

GLAAD Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation 104 W. 29th St, 4th fl New York, NY 10001 www.glaad.org glaad@glaad.org 212.629.3322

GLSEN Rochester The Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network www.glsen.org/rochester Greek Gay & Lesbian Association adegia@aol.com 917.327.2966

Human Rights Campaign Civil Rights for LGBT 1640 Rhode Island Avenue Washington DC, DC 20036 www.hrc.org hrc@hrc.org 202.216.1500 Leslie/Lohman Gay Art Foundation 26 Wooster Street New York, NY 10012 admin@leslielohman. org 212.431.2609

National Lesbian & Gay Journalists Association (NY Area) c/o Charles Kaiser 245 W. 107th St New York, NY 10025 www.nlgja.org info@nlgja.org 212.629.2045 NYAGRA NY Association for Gender Rights Advocacy 24 W. 25th St, 9th fl New York, NY 10010 www.nyagra.com paulinepark@earthlink.net 212.675.3288 x338 NYC LGBT Chamber of Commerce Rev Carmen Hernandez www.nyclgbtcc.com PFLAG Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays PO Box 703 Ithaca, NY 14851 www.pflagithacacortland.com Ithaca-cortland_pflag@hotmail.com 607.838.3629 Runaway Hotline Nassau County 2740 Martin Avenue Bellmore, NY 11710 516.679.1111

FINANCIAL

Directory

Safe Horizon/Domestic Violence Shelter Program 2 Lafayette St, 3rd fl New York, NY 10007 www.safehorizon.org aperhaes@safehorizon.org 800.577.7777 crime victims 212.227.3000 rape victims

Ameriprise Financial Services, Inc. 6319 Fly Road #2 East Syracuse, NY 13057 315.251.0512 x209 www.ameripriseadvisors.com/ vivian.m.derrickson

Trexx 319 N. Clinton Street Syracuse, NY 13202 315.474.6408 www.trexxonline.com Twist Ultra Lounge 252 West Genesee Street Syracuse, NY 13203 www.facebook.com/twist ultra lounge and Dance

Sage: Services and Advocacy for GLBT Elders 305 Seventh Avenue, 16th fl New York, NY 10001 www.sageusa.org info@sageusa.org 212.741.2247

HEALTH/FITNESS

Sage Upstate www.sageupstate.org 315.478.1923

LODGING

PHOTOGRAPHERS

NYC-JC Luxury Hotel Alternative 70 Greene Street Jersey City, NJ 07302 646.662.2797 www.nyc-jc.com

Monica Everdyke Photography PO Box 388 Clay, Ny 13041 315.380.7791 www.monicaeverdykephoto.com mje@monicaeverdykephoto.com www.facebook.com/MonicaEverdykePhoto PHOTOGRAPHY FOR ALL OCCASIONS

Professional

Stonewall Community Foundation 119 West 24th Street, 7th fl New York, NY 10011 212.367.1157 www.stonewallfoundation.org

Clinton Street Spa 321 North Clinton Street Syracuse, NY 13202 315.466.5401 www.clintonstreetspa.com

Zappalorti Society of Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual Transgender Psychiatric Survivors Bert Coffman 14 E. 28th St New York, NY 10016 Bert_coffman@yahoo.com 212.889.4262

For the most comprehensive list of LGBT non-profit/service organizations in New York State, please click: www.comptroller.nyc.gov/lgbt

BOOKSTORES/RETAIL

The Lavender Inkwell Bookshoppe 304 North McBride Street Syracuse, NY 13203 315.424.7191 www.lavenderinkwell.com Giovanni’s Room 345 South 12th Street Philadelphia, PA 19107 215.923.0813 www.queerbooks.com

The Highlands Inn 240 Valley View Lane Bethlehem, NH 03574 603.869.3978 www.highlandsinn-nh.com

NIGHT CLUBS 140 Alex Bar & Grill 140 Alexander Street Rochester, NY 14607 585.256.1000 www.140alex.com Avenue Pub 522 Monroe Avenue Rochester, NY 14607 585.244.4960 Mystic 1203 Milton Avenue Syracuse, NY 13204 315.218.5897 http://myspace.com/themysticlounge Rain Lounge 218 N. Franklin Street Syracuse, NY 13202 315.474.3487 www.facebook.com/rain lounge

For more nightclubs and event info, click www.clubplanet.com and http://gaycities. com

Facets Photography & Design Brenda Colton & Associates work throughout NY, MA, CT & NJ. 518.365.1125 www.facetsphoto.com Stuart Gallagher Photography Online prints for sale http://stuartgallagher.zenfolio.com

PUBLICATIONS SASS Magazine FOR GIRLS WHO LOVE GIRLS www.sassmagazine.org Unexpected Media Group, LLC Exhale Magazine Crave Magazine RE Magazine www.exploretheunexpected.com

RESTAURANTS Laci’s Tapas Bar 304 Hawley Avenue Syracuse, NY 13203 315.218.5903 www.lacistapasbar.com

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