Connextions Magazine - Issue 11 VA

LGBT Travel & Lifestyle

Summer 2013 Issue #11

Explore Virginia

Wine

Marriage Equality

A Logo Gone Viral

A Culinary Walk through Boston

10 Survival Items Essential

$4.99 USA

$5.95 CAN

Discovering Shenandoah

in Virginia

THE

HUMAN

ORGANIZATION TRANSGENDER

RIGHTS

CAMPAIGN

WORKING EQUALITY.

TO BY

IS

AMERICA’S

ACHIEVE INSPIRING

LESBIAN, AND

LARGEST

CIVIL

GAY,

BISEXUAL

ENGAGING

ALL

RIGHTS AND

AMERICANS,

HRC STRIVES TO END DISCRIMINATION AGAINST LGBT CITIZENS AND REALIZE A NATION THAT ACHIEVES FUNDAMENTAL FAIRNESS AND EQUALITY FOR ALL.

HRC SEEKS TO IMPROVE THE LIVES OF LGBT AMERICANS BY ADVOCATING FOR EQUAL RIGHTS AND BENEFITS IN THE WORKPLACE, ENSURING FAMILIES ARE TREATED EQUALLY UNDER THE LAW, AND INCREASING PUBLIC SUPPORT AMONG ALL AMERICANS THROUGH INNOVATIVE ADVOCACY, EDUCATION AND OUTREACH PROGRAMS. HRC WORKS TO SECURE EQUAL RIGHTS FOR LGBT INDIVIDUALS AND FAMILIES AT THE FEDERAL AND STATE LEVELS BY LOBBYING ELECTED OFFICIALS, MOBILIZING GRASSROOTS SUPPORTERS, EDUCATING AMERICANS, INVESTING STRATEGICALLY TO ELECT FAIR-MINDED OFFICIALS AND PARTNERING WITH OTHER LGBT ORGANIZATIONS.

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WWW.HRC.ORG

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CONTRIBUTORS EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Shelly Straub ART DIRECTOR Lucia Camarda ADVERTISING SALES (315) 380-6883 sales@connextionsmagazine.com CONTRIBUTING PHOTOGRAPHERS Stu Gallagher CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Christopher de la Torre Edward Truth Maria Lesetz Carlos Melia Manny Velasquez-Paredes David Duran Chad Mashburn Tom Sciacca

Read Connextions Magazine online or purchase your print edition through our website at:

www.connextionsmagazine.com WRITE TO US: Do you have a question or comment regarding this issue or future issues of Connextions Magazine? We would love to hear from you! E-mail responses and press releases are always welcomed. shelly@connextionsmagazine.com All submissions become the property of Connextions Magazine.

The views and opinions stated throughout this magazine are not necessarily the opinions of staff at Connextions Magazine.

Connextions Magazine, LLC publishing office is located at 8601 Tartan Drive North, Cicero, New York 13039. Connextions Magazine will not knowingly publish or advertise text which is fraudulent or misleading. The publisher reserves the right to edit, limit, revise, or reject any text without cause. Connextions Magazine assumes no financial responsibility for typographical errors. If any errors are found, please notify Connextions Magazine immediately. Materials in this publication may not be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher.

ISSN 2160-4347 (print) ISSN 2160-4355 (online)

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r e t t e L

from the editor

For me, exploring the beautiful countryside in the state of Virginia brought exciting new adventures, as well as memories from the past. Having been almost 20 years since I was a Virginia Beach resident, the recollection is quite different than my current reality. In 1992, I was just 19 years old and living a ‘straight’ married life. Today, I am making new memories as a proud member of the lesbian community, and my perspective on these destinations are captured with a much more mature awareness.

In this issue of Connextions Magazine, we bring you breathtaking places of beauty and natural wonders in Virginia, such as the Shenandoah Valley; the cultural diversity of Richmond; the adventure and history in Williamsburg; and the serenity of dolphin watching at sunrise on the beach.

Also throughout the pages of this issue, you will find luxury travel to The Ritz-Carlton in Battery Park, NY; A culinary walk through Boston; Our continued series of LGBT History, featuring the state of Virginia; A special feature on sex appeal and how to get it; Manny offers us his gay family travel experiences in Disney World; Carlos offers his international travel recommendations to Buenos Aires, St. Barth, & Stockholm; Chris de la Torre offers insight into that infamous red marriage equality logo that went viral and took over 2.7 million facebook profile pics; And for all you avid summer campers, we bring you the 10 essential wilderness survival items.

Again, I would like to personally send out a thank you for taking the time to browse the pages of Connextions Magazine. Your comments and feedback are always welcome.

I look forward to connecting with you again when our Fall Issue releases in August.

Shelly Shelly Straub

@Connextionsmag

CONTRIBUTORS “I offer you peace. I offer you love. I offer you friendship. I see your beauty. I hear your need.

I feel your feelings. My wisdom flows from the Highest source. I salute that Source in you. Let Lucia Camarda Art Director

us work together for unity and love.”

~Mahatma Gandhi

Lucia brings innovation and creativity to create simple, yet sophisticated eye-catching layout designs. design@connextionsmagazine.com

Chris de la Torre Contributing Writer

Edward Truth Contributing Writer

Stu Gallagher Photographer

Chris de la Torre writes about science and technology.

Edward Truth is a critical theorist based in New York City.

Stu holds equal passions for landscape and portrait photography, along with a broadening list of commercial clients.

Prints are available.

Follow @urbanmolecule on Twitter

Follow @EdwardTruth on Twitter

gallagherlandscapes.com

Maria Lesetz Contributing Writer

Manny Velasquez-Paredes Contributing Writer

Health & Happiness Coach and founder of Lovin’ Life – a life coaching company that specializes in facilitating powerful, personal transformations in physical and emotional well-being.

MVP is a multicultural & diversity marketing professional focusing on the Hispanic and LGBT communities. He is a social media junkie and avid traveler, who brings the traveling family’s perspective to Connextions magazine.

www.LovinLifeNow.com

Follow @mannyvp on Twitter

David Duran Contributing Writer David Duran is a culinary, hospitality and travel writer who focuses on both domestic and international travel destinations for several different markets. His love for discovering cities and travel spots is evident as he is away from his favorite place and home base of New York City the majority of the time.

Carlos Melia Contributing Writer Independent travel reviews and tips on hotels, restaurants, destinations, travel trends and cool stuff based on my own travel experiences. carlosmeliablog.com

Follow @theemuki on Twitter

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Lifestyle 08

AUG 2011 Issue #4

Sex Appeal What is it and How do I get it?

7 Reasons LGBT Families ock R

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LIVE | TRAVEL | CONNECT

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5 Daily Habits to Transform Your Attitude

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Your Path To Happiness Living by Your Own Rules

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In Each Issue 56

In Review

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Website Highlights

Books, Mags, Music & Movies

Virginia Resources

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Professional Directory

contents Features 28 LGBT History of Equality

The series continues in Virginia

38 EVERYONEISGAY.com

A Growing Advice Website for LGBTQ Youth

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08

Marriage Equality Logo Goes Viral A Shift in Public Consciousness

54 10 Essential Items for Wilderness Survival

Travel

44

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Luxury Accommodations at The Ritz-Carlton Battery Park, NY

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Coup de Coeur

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Discovering Shenandoah

32

A Culinary Walk Through Boston

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Virginia Hotspots

Experienced global travel tips, reviews & recommendations by Carlos Melia

6 Must-Visit Restaurants

32 Financial 36

Unique Financial Challenges for Same-Sex Couples Financial penalties and State Law Discrimination

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Sex Appeal

What is it and how do I get it?

W

hen we asked a group of people to answer the question “What is sex appeal?” their first reaction was a thought provoking hesitation. Many people can tell you WHO they think is sexy, and easily pick their favorite sexy celeb, but to actually define ‘sex appeal’ takes some thought. It’s more than just a perfectly proportioned body, in fact – the body may have nothing to do with sex appeal at all. Maybe it’s the eyes, or the smile, or even the attitude or demeanor of a person that gives them sex appeal status.

Our survey resulted in many different opinions, from Shakira for her ‘natural’ beauty; to Kate Moennig for her ‘can’t catch me/bad girl’ attitude; to Ian Somerhalder for his eyes, his smile, and well – just about everything else. One thing we found to be common among survey respondents was that while sex appeal could include being born with good looks, it is certainly about more than just beauty.

Here are a few tips that may hail you to ‘sex appeal’ status:

Be a leader, not a follower

A leader shows courage. A leader always inspires to be better today than they were yesterday, no matter the situation. If you are practicing leadership, remember that a good leader encourages others and doesn’t knock the ladder over on their way up.

Be self-assured

Exude confidence, without being overly cocky.

Feel free to spike your hair like a rooster, but don’t let it go to your head. Always maintain good posture and look people in the eyes.

Be Quiet

Not everyone cares to know everything about you.

Nor do they want to hear your resume on a first date.

Offering small bits of information about yourself keeps them guessing and interested to learn more.

Sometimes, it’s the quietest person in the room who seems the sexiest, based on mystery alone.

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Stay Busy

During your down time, steer clear of the couch and the computer – instead, get out – take a walk or a jog. Wander, look, listen, feel, enjoy. Not only does staying active keep you healthier, it also gives you interesting things to talk about, other than the latest trending tweet.

The definition of sex appeal refers to a person’s ability to attract the sexual interest of another person. Basic attraction is typically to the physical qualities or can be to the traits of another person, such as in the way they move, the sound of their voice, their smell, their clothing, or their interests.

For those of you who have found love and fallen deep, having sex appeal may not be important to you since you have already attracted the love of your life – but keep in mind that our sex appeal tips apply to everyone – not just those looking for love, or rather – lust.

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Daily Habits to Transform Your Attitude Actions become habits and habits become routine behaviors.

According to the UK Health Behaviore Research Centre, the rule of thumb, is that it takes 21-28 days for an action to become an established habit. Here are 5 daily tasks that can create a more positive attitude. Take the “Attitude Challenge” and try them for 30 days.

QUOTE

GIVE THANKS

Find your favorite motivational quote and post-it on your bathroom mirror. Read it ‘out loud’ every morning.

Positive journalizing each night is a great idea but if time and/ or place restricts this practice, try a daily dinner ritual of giving thanks for one simple highlight of your day.

CLEAN Clean something every day. A daily shower is always a good idea, for yourself and those around you – but we’re talking about your surroundings, not your personal hygiene. If you have time to clean the bathroom or re-organize the garage, that’s great - but if you are short on time, consider a quick task, something as simple as moving all the shoes from in front of the door. When you return home, today will be the day that you don’t trip over the shoes!

FRUIT

EXERCISE

Oh the endless benefits of fruit! No matter your pleasure -be it bananas, strawberries or apples, give yourself a natural sugar boost and fit in some daily fruit.

There’s no doubt that an hour a day at the gym would be beneficial, but not everyone can fit that hour into a daily schedule. Take ten minutes and walk up and down the stairs, or take ten minutes and conquer as many burpees as you can handle.

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The Ritz-Carlton

New York, Battery Park

Overview * 298 guest rooms & 39 luxury suites * Full-size bathtubs, bath butler & bath menu services * Overnight shoe shine & laundry service * In room Mini bar & a telescope in select suites * Award-winning 2West restaurant * Spa facilities with massages and Carita Paris treatments & products * 12,000 square feet of meeting space including two ballrooms * 24-hour fitness center with state-of-the-art equipment and panoramic views * Valet parking * Luggage storage * Private front drive entrance

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Luxurious Living & Outstanding Personal Service The Ritz-Carlton New York, Battery Park hotel offers a convenient location and contemporary interior design coupled with spacious luxury suites and unbeatable personal service.

photos courtesy The Ritz-Carlton New York, Battery Park

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Location

At the southern tip of Manhattan, Battery Park is well known to tourists for its ferry service to the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island, as well as its numerous film appearances, such as the infamous scenes of Madonna along the waterfront in the 1985 film “Desperately Seeking Susan.”

Besides the common popularity, Battery Park offers travelers to New York: picturesque views and a quiet setting, away from the noisy bustle of midtown Manhattan. Take a morning jog through the 25 acre public park, or an evening stroll just a few blocks east to Pearl Street, where you will enjoy a plethora of dining choices along brick-lined roadways.

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Accommodations

Unlike typical New York hotels, which offer slow elevators that take you to a cramped room on the 44th floor, The Ritz-Carlton offers 298 spacious guest rooms and 39 luxurious suites, ranging from 425 square feet up to 2,500 square feet. The award-winning property features expansive windows and telescopes in each of the rooms with a Statue of Liberty view.

at their hotels is what they call a ‘care program,’ which entails taking each room out of service on a regular 90 day rotation to undergo a complete maintenance check -- from everything such as a thorough investigation for any carpet stains, to changing each light bulb in the guest room.

From Frette linens, feather duvets, and goose down pillows -- to marble bathtubs, counter tops, and a separate marble shower stall, it appears that the abundance of amenities is limitless.

Whether you are planning a small intimate gathering or a grandiose affair for your special day, The Ritz-Carlton can certainly accommodate and tailor the event to fit your needs and wants.

In order to maintain the high standards that many have come to expect from The Ritz-Carlton, a procedural practice

Weddings

The 4,400 square foot ballroom, not only includes a dance floor and enough space for up to 500 people, but

photos courtesy The Ritz-Carlton New York, Battery Park

if the small details make the biggest difference when inquiring about wedding venue locations, this banquet room is free standing – meaning: there are no clunky ceiling to floor columns scattered throughout the room, which is a well-thought architectural design.

The quaint 1,470 square foot multi-functional space, located on the 14th floor, offers an outdoor terrace with breathtaking views and an incredible photo backdrop of the Statue of Liberty and the New York Harbor.

There are several venues to choose from, each set in their own distinguished décor, along with wedding package options to please any taste -- all of which include style and class in a New York setting.

Welcome

The outstanding personal service begins prior to arrival with a personalized email that includes the details of your stay, along with a direct line of contact to a representative who is determined to make sure your trip proves to be unique, memorable and effortless. This personal service continues during your visit, as the concierge greets you by name with each pass and does not hesitate to make specific reference on how your days’ events went upon your return to the hotel. Taking personal service to a whole new level, the concierge gladly offers directions to any nearby restaurant or entertainment destination, as if reading your mind, knowing just what you are looking for.

All are welcome at The Ritz-Carlton Battery Park!

Many marketing efforts have been made by the company to promote their wedding packages to same-sex couples.

They offer LGBT certified Ritz-Carlton wedding consultants – which is basically a dedicated professional with experience in same-sex wedding planning and preparation, as well as a company-wide training program in social behavior.

There is peace-of-mind, knowing the great lengths this company will go to, in order to ensure guests have an enjoyable stay at The Ritz-Carlton New York, Battery Park.

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Coup de Coeur / by luxury travel curator Carlos Melia

Experiential Global Travel Tips, Reviews & Recommendations 2

1 3

1/ BUENOS AIRES I keep coming to Argentina, where I have developed a Gay Wedding Planning service for foreigners.

Part of that, is to plan their stay in the city and touring around the suburbs. Some of my top options in Buenos Aires are: chic hotels - home made luxury at HUB Porteño Buenos Aires, 11 suites located at the exclusive neighborhood of Recoleta. Same area: my alternative option is Club Frances, original house, dating from 1866. For those looking for a more bohemian porteño take, Legado Mitico would be the perfect fit, in Palermo SOHO. Restaurants - my favorites are Tarquino, traditional Argentinean dishes with a modern twist. A romantic dinner at DUHAU Restaurant, or perhaps a hidden gem at TEGUI, you will understand the hidden connotation once there.

Weekends are the best chance for quick getaways , remember that the wedding is the purpose of your trip... Visit San Antonio

de Areco, the cradle of Gaucho culture, and in particular Estancia La Bamba de Areco. 2/ ST. BARTH to me: the ultimate Caribbean experience. Here you must try Le Sereno Hotel at Grand Cul-de-Sac. Visit the stunning Plage des Salines, known to be the Gay Hotspot of the Island, and have lunch at Le Grain de Sel. For the culinary evenings try Le Ti St Barth and Maya’s Restaurant. Fly into Puerto Rico and connect on your Tradewinds semi-private jet to St. Barth. 3/ STOCKHOLM has to be one of my top cities in Europe. On my last visit I got to curate a few options you should try. Hotels - NOBIS on Norrmalmstorg square, but my favorite is the Skeppsholmen Hotel, with stunning views. Restaurants - Den Gyldene Freden and BERNS Asiatiska. Attractions not to miss are The Vasa Museum, Skansen open air Museum, Millesgarden Museum and the Rooftops Tour of Stockholm. Till next adventure. CM

For more about these Coup de Coeur or Carlos Melia around the world, visit www.carlosmeliablog.com

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NORTH JERSEY PRIDE FESTIVAL 2013

Hosted by award-winning comedian Jessica

Kirson

(“The Tonight Show,” “The View,” “Last Comic Standing”) & featuring the kinetic performance of music impressario & original “Dyke Diva,” Lori Michaels and her entourage!

Sunday June 9th 12pm-6pm Memorial Park

124 Dunnell Street Maplewood, NJ 07040 www.northjerseypride.org

The only Pride Celebration built for grownups; safe for kids. Enjoy hours of family-friendly live entertainment, dozens of vendors, a five-star food court, plus a huge rainbow kids zone, and more!

ALSO FEATURING: Well-Strung, "the hunky string quartet" Folk-pop artist Alexandra Kelly A Great Big World, performing their hit Glee song, “This is the New Year” The Paper Mill Playhouse Chorus, performing hits from Glee Chevonne (The Voice, Lady Gaga’s “Monster Ball Tour”)

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Dawn just breaking from atop the Blue Ridge Mountains.

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Discovering Shenandoah

in Virginia www.connextionsmagazine.com

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Shenandoah National Park Shenandoah National Park is 300 square miles of majestic mountains, thick lush forests & plants, cascading waterfalls, spectacular vistas, and wildlife on top of the Blue Ridge Mountains.

The 105 mile long scenic bywayknown as Skyline Drive- is the only public road through the park, which runs along the crest of the Blue Ridge Mountains. Enjoy 75 overlooks with stunning views both to the east and the west, along the 3 hour drive through the park.

During your Skyline Drive road trip, be sure to check out at least one of the beautiful waterfalls, which are all accessible from a parking place along the road, but do involve hiking.

Overall Run Falls is the tallest, at an impressive 93 feet. But to sit on the rock ledges and view this natural wonder, you have to make the 6.4 mile round-trip hike, with a climb of over 1800 feet.

Discover fresh air activities, such as hiking, fishing, horseback riding, back country camping, bird watching, wildlife viewing, nature loving, or landscape photographing – all inside Shenandoah National Park.

White tailed deer in Big Meadow within the National Park off Skyline Drive in Shenandoah Valley, Virginia

Sunrise view from Skyline Drive in Shenandoah National Park of White Oak Canyon

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Photos courtesy: Chesley Creek Farm

A Cabin in the Mountains Looking for seclusion and privacy so you can enjoy quality time with your special someone? Romantic cabins tucked in the Blue Ridge Mountains await your arrival.

The Cottages at Chelsey Creek Farm offer individual cabins, each with fully equipped kitchen amenities; a BBQ grill on the deck; Jacuzzi tub; fireplace; covered porch with rocking chairs; and most importantly - seclusion.

Enjoy picturesque views of the sunrise over lush mountaintops, miles of hiking trails, wilderness, wineries, and evening star gazing.

Located on Brokenback Mountain Road and in the city of Dyke, Virginia -- would it surprise you to learn that this property is gay owned?

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Photos courtesy: Luray Caverns, VA

Virginia is for Wine Lovers The landscape and climate of Virginia, along with ideal soil conditions, offers Virginians plenty of grape-growing opportunities, and therefore boasts vineyards and wineries in all regions of the state.

Virginia is home to hundreds of wineries and vineyards.

In the Shenandoah Valley alone, there are more than a dozen wineries to choose from. Interestingly enough, the state also produces Whiskey and you can tour both on what locals call The Blue Ridge “Whiskey Wine Loop”. The Discover Shenandoah website provides maps and recommendations for visiting numerous remote “treasures” including wineries, a whiskey distillery, eateries and more. discovershenandoah.com/whiskey-wine-loop/

From High Above to Low Below Take a subterranean meander and discover a magnificent and profuse variety of rock formations, stalactites, stalagmites, crystalline deposits, towering stone columns, shimmering draperies, and crystal clear pools -- all in the beauty of unsurpassed natural color.

Luray Caverns is known to be the most popular cave in Eastern America and an internationally acclaimed destination. Beneath the Shenandoah Valley, discover the wonder of this “must see” U.S. Natural Landmark.

Tours are offered from well-lit paved walkways, which lead visitors through cathedral-sized rooms. Spectacular natural beauty awaits your arrival. luraycaverns.com

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Congratulations Chris & Chris

C hristopher Murphy and Columbus Coleman

photos courtesy: Gino Addi Samaniego Adventure Weddings Photography

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were married on Saturday, April 21, 2012 at Las Caletas, a private island cove in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. Accessible only by sea, and once the private home of film director, John Huston, Las Caletas' secluded beach and majestic Sierra Madre Mountains served as the tropical backdrop for their destination wedding. Family and friends boarded a luxury catamaran for cocktails and h'ordereves and sailed to Las Caletas for a private sunset ceremony, followed by dinner, entertainment, and an open bar reception on the beach. The couple recently celebrated their one-year anniversary this past April, and the newlyweds are still in honeymoon mode! They look forward to future vacations in Mexico.

Married April 21, 2012 Reside in Richmond, VA Dream destination wedding in Puerto Vallarta, MX

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With a strict wedding budget of $5,000, Sarah

and Jennifer hosted an intimate gathering with 50 of their closest family and friends to celebrate their union. And although unable to attend, an official invitation was delivered to President Obama and Michelle. Both the wedding and reception were held at the Four Points by Sheraton on K Street in downtown Washington D.C. – a Starwood brand hotel.

When deciding on a honeymoon destination, an important factor to both Sarah and Jennifer, was to spend their money in a community that supports equality. They chose the diversity friendly island of Key West, including a stop at South Beach in Miami. Highlights from their honeymoon included the casual elegance of The Mermaid and The Alligator Bed & Breakfast, located in the heart of Old Town Key West.

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Congratulations Jennifer & Sarah

Photos courtesy: Marlene Maunder

God gave me you for the ups and downs God gave me you for the days of doubt And for when I think I've lost my way There are no words here left to say, it's true God gave me you

-Blake Shelton

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LGBT in

America irginia

by Edward Truth

V

History has proven that progress is rarely welcomed unanimously. So it is with LGBT life in America. Compelling and controversial, the civil rights saga spans generations, binding each new chapter to the last, embracing diversity, building from blueprints yet undrawn.

“I believe all Americans, no matter their sex, no matter their sexual orientation, should have that same freedom to marry. I support the freedom to marry for all. That’s what Loving, and loving, are all about.” Mildred Loving, June 12, 2007 The next time you find yourself debating marriage equality, remember Mildred Loving. What makes her story so memorable—and relevant to the experience of all couples who want to marry legally but can’t—is love. In 2007, Loving reflected on her own battle, fought 40 years earlier, the landmark legal case that won trans racial couples the right to marry in 1967, Loving v. Virginia.

Virginia has never been a leader when it comes to civil rights.

It was the state’s antimiscegenation statute, the Racial Integrity Act of 1924, that put Mildred Loving and her husband Richard into hot water with the state, after the couple decided to get married in Washington, DC, where trans racial marriage was legal. Even today, Virginia falls behind—marriage for same-sex couples is now legal in a handful of states and the District of Columbia. Mildred Loving was no criminal but she was of African-American and Native American descent, and the laws of the day prohibited mixed couples from marrying—American eugenics taken to its logical end.

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Dark Hallow Falls in Shenandoah National Park, Virginia

It’s far too similar to the argument that “God intends marriage as a union between a man and a woman”—an obvious fallacy when considering the logic behind the Massachusetts Constitution, which forbids the creation of second-class citizens. It’s this respect or human dignity that gave the state reason to legalize marriage for same-sex couples in 2003. In Goodridge v. Department of Public Health, Justice Margaret Marshall said, “As ... Loving make[s] clear, the right to marry means little if it does not include the right to marry the person of one’s choice”.

Justice Marshall used Loving v. Virginia to explain the point of marriage, and this wasn’t the first time the case was used to defend same-sex marriages. In 2010, citing Loving v. Virginia, a California federal court declared Prop 8—the ballot measure that overturned a previous victory there—unconstitutional, and ordered that gay and lesbian couples be allowed to marry.

Having set an important precedent for human rights, Loving illustrates the importance of personal freedom as it pertains to lifelong commitments. So much so, the practice of connecting the case to modern day arguments around marriage came to be called the “Loving analogy”: Arguments made using the Loving analogy claim that just as the Equal Protection and Due Process clause under the 14th Amendment protect interracial marriage, in the same way, such statutes should protect same sex couples’ rights to marriage [Kluttz].

When the Lovings returned to their home in Virginia, an anonymous bigot tipped off the police, who later raided the couple’s home and charged them with “cohabiting as man and wife, against the peace and dignity of the Commonwealth”. Their sentence of one year in prison was suspended for 25 years on the condition that they left the state. So they moved to DC, where they met with the ACLU and eventually brought suit against Virginia. As they say, the rest is history. Problem is, that history seems to have repeated itself, this time with same-sex couples.

The opponents of marriage equality today use similar arguments used then. In the case against the Lovings, trial judge Leon M. Bazile said: Almighty God created the races white, black yellow, malay and red, and he placed them on separate continents. And but for the interference with his arrangement there would be no cause for such marriages. The fact that he separated the races shows that he did not intend for the races to mix [Kluttz].

With regard to Loving and the case currently before the Supreme Court, Brian Palmer of Slate says “parallels between the two cases are striking”. In a recent oped for The Washington Post, Jonathan Capehart wrote, “Truth be told, the original defense of marriage occurred on June 12, 1967. That’s when the Supreme Court ruled in Loving v. Virginia that two people, no matter their race, should be legally allowed to marry”. The April 8 cover of Time reads, “Gay Marriage Already Won: The Supreme Court hasn’t made up its mind—but America has”, and on March 25, The Atlantic Wire said that support for marriage equality “has never been higher than it is now—indeed, it has regularly increased over time, and opposition has faded”.

It’s clear that equal protection and due process also go for same-sex couples, which is now reflected by public opinion more than ever.

So if you find yourself in a debate over marriage equality, chances are the opposition is using the same tired arguments used by Virginia 50 years ago. Remember Mildred Loving and the tie that binds us, and progress won’t seem like such a stretch after all. Love prevails.

Edward Truth is a New York City-based journalist and critical theorist. Follow him on Twitter @EdwardTruth.

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Iwo Jima, a small island in the Pacific, held such great tactical value with having 2 air fields, that Japan was reluctant to give it up so easily. Over 6,000 Marines gave their lives and more than 18,000 were injured in this battle - that was one of the turning points to end WWII. This memorial, modeled from Rosenthal’s Pulitzer Prize winning photograph, honors the dedicated Marines who have died defending American freedom since 1775.

Iwo Jima Memorial - U. S. Marine Corps War Memorial Arlington, VA

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31

A Culinary Walk through Boston The city on the hill is offering up

some new as well as classic, out of this world dining to both visitors and residents alike. From small and almost unnoticed locations to extravagant fine dining—Boston seems to have it all. This beautiful New England city is pushing the limits of gastronomy with amazing restaurants headed by some of the country’s top chefs.

The classic New England seafood is without a doubt available and each culinary experience featured here, offers up some of the best -- each with their own unique take on the cuisine.

These establishments are changing what once was considered a relatively standard food scene and propelling Boston to one of the nation’s top food destinations.

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by David Duran

Summer Shack

Rustic Kitchen

photo courtesy Summer Shack

Acclaimed Chef Jasper White who is synonymous with fine dining, shocked the culinary world when he opened his first Summer Shack.

This energetic and fun atmosphere has space for the masses and offers all the New England seafood one could dream of, including -- but not limited to -- lobsters, clams, and oysters. White took this fun concept to a new level by creating a menu that also presents easy to eat, comfort food such as corn dogs and fried clams.

It’s definitely a hot tourist spot, so make sure to check out this restaurant during off-peak times, or hang out with the crowd amid their famous summer happy hour and enjoy seasonal beers & specialty craft cocktails. Summer Shack, which now has five locations, offers high-quality, authentic New England seafood set in a casual atmosphere, in high-traffic retail locations.

http://www.summershackrestaurant.com/

photo courtesy Jim Cafarelli

This relaxed, stylish Italian trattoria offers a robust Mediterranean menu of homemade authentic pastas and brick oven pizzas, as well as gourmet salads and zesty sandwiches – all beautifully and creatively presented. With an open pasta-making station and wood-burning oven, the bistro’s atmosphere nicely mixes modern with the traditional. The Rustic Kitchen also offers a spacious bar, with a seasonal selection of homemade vodka infused cocktails made with fresh juices.

Adding a unique element of entertainment, the Rustic Kitchen is also home to “The Cooking Show,” a TV program hosted by famed local chef Liz Bramwell, and is taped in front of an enthusiastic audience in their elaborate, state-of-the art soundstage tucked away in the back of the dining room. Guests attending the show are treated to appetizers and entrees that are made live on the show that day.

http://www.rustickitchen.biz/

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photo courtesy Eric Levin

This stunning restaurant located in Boston’s Liberty Hotel is a culinary lovers dream destination and was created by legendary Chef Lydia Shire. The Italian inspired menu has hints and inspirations of both the Mediterranean and Middle East. The space is contemporary, dark and sexy. An open kitchen concept allows guests to view Shire’s team in action as they prepare the majority of the starter courses out in the open for all to witness.

A simplified wine list and knowledgeable staff makes pairing your meal with the perfect wine a cinch. A variety of homemade breads will tempt you from the start. The menu, which is not overly produced, has just the right amount of items to confuse your hungry stomach, as you will not be able to choose what to order as all is beautifully described.

If pizza is what will settle your cravings, be adventurous and try the lamb pizza.

http://scampoboston.com/

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Cinquecento photo courtesy Cinquecento

Scampo

Cinquecento, which translates into 500 in Italian, is located in Boston’s Historic South End. The Roman Trattoria is edgy yet contemporary, while casual and energetic. The oversized dining space is sleek and brand new, as it just recently opened and is already garnering a massive local following.

The craft cocktail selection is one of the most impressive as it offers an outstanding range of liquors. Not to be outdone, the wine menu is equally extraordinary. The menu is on the heavy side, offering unique twists on classic Italian dining. The artichoke hearts can’t be missed as a starter and tiramisu must be tried for dessert.

http://www.cinquecentoboston.com/

James Hook Co photo courtesy David Duran

photo courtesy Boston Harbor Hotel

Meritage

Foodies who wish to have a true Boston-dining event will be delighted to learn that the Boston Harbor Hotel’s famed chef Daniel Bruce was the creator of the Boston Wine festival, which will be celebrating its 25th anniversary in 2014. Each year for the festival, several special wine pairing dinners are created by Chef Bruce and he can proudly boast, that in the history of the festival and countless dinners, a dish has never been repeated.

For oenophiles, it’s worth a visit to attend a few of these special wine events that run for several weeks at the beginning of each year, ranging from small, intimate dinners with vintners to larger, more casual tasting parties.

The Meritage offers multi-course meals perfectly paired with outstanding wines, personally chosen by in-house sommelier Nick Daddona.

The seasonal menu features an array of locally sourced products as well as imported items, such as Kobe beef, seared scallops and lobster. If the menu isn’t enough, the elegant dining room’s huge windows provide guests with gorgeous harbor views…to be soaked in while feasting on the chef ’s delectable masterpieces.

http://www.meritagetherestaurant.com/

James Hook & Co. is a family business managed by four siblings of the third generation of the Hook family. They are committed to brining the highest of quality lobster and seafood products to both the wholesale and retail markets. From the outside, you wouldn’t know what to expect inside this small permanent trailer, but the moment you walk in and are greeted by the massive lobster tanks and friendly staff, as well as the fast moving line of people, you know you are in for a treat. This retail location has a walk-up counter and dining space provided but it is first come first serve.

When coming to Boston, it’s a prerequisite to try the famous Boston lobster (lobstah) roll.

The James Hook lobster roll is unofficially the best roll in town as per the locals. They offer both a half roll, or if you are feeling adventurous and have an empty stomach, the full roll. The fresh lobster mixed with their signature sauce makes the Boston delicacy mouthwatering delicious.

http://www.jameshooklobster.com/

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FINANCIAL ISSUES SAME-SEX COUPLES NEED TO ADDRESS

Be cognizant of these unique challenges.

by Chad Mashburn

Many states have passed laws barring housing, credit and employment discrimination against LGBT couples and individuals. Yet these civil rights moves have not removed the financial penalties that gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender couples face directly and indirectly.

State civil rights legislation hasn’t changed the mind of the IRS. Yes, there are progressive states like Massachusetts that have afforded gay and lesbian couples full marriage rights. But there is still a huge financial problem: federal tax law doesn’t recognize same-sex marriages, civil unions or partners. If a gay or lesbian couple marries, they are still single filers to the IRS, and each partner has to figure out their income separately on federal tax forms.

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In one area, the corporate sector is ahead of the government.

While the U.S. government doesn’t provide employee benefits to same-sex couples, the majority of Fortune 500 companies now offer health insurance and other forms of benefits to LGBT employees and their same-sex partners. However, LGBT couples pay federal taxes on employer-provided benefits. (Married heterosexual couples don’t.)

Extra $ for basic protection. Once straight people marry, they can count on certain legal and financial protections. In states that don’t recognize same-sex marriage or civil unions, it is much more involved and expensive for gay and lesbian couples to realize these same assurances.

A recent Chicago Tribune article pointed out the difference in Illinois: a gay couple with two children paid $10,000 to a lawyer to create two revocable trusts, powers of attorney and wills that would approximate the legal, medical and financial protection conveyed to straight spouses by a $40 marriage license.

Retirement planning issues. While gay couples pay equally into the Social Security system, no spousal or survivor benefits can be granted to them under federal law. (That’s because of the 1996 Defense of Marriage Act signed into law by President Clinton.)

Many pension plans don’t allow survivor benefits to a same-sex couple either.

This has prompted many gay and lesbian couples to look into long-term income-producing investments for retirement, and to adopt a long-range growth investing approach as a sudden loss of SSI or pension benefits may raise the risk that they will one day tap into their principal. Younger gay and lesbian couples who recognize this potential retirement hazard can maximize contributions to IRAs, 403(b)s and 401(k)s in the present, and consider converting traditional IRAs to Roths for tax-free growth.

Estate planning issues. Same-sex couples do not get the tax breaks the IRS gives to married heterosexual couples. This

makes for some heavy-duty estate planning. Multiple powers of attorney may be needed per person; privacy waivers permit same-sex partners to access each other’s medical records in an emergency. Trusts may need to be created for real property and life insurance policies.

In 2010, Colorado and Wisconsin have passed laws that include estate planning protections for same-sex couples.

Eldercare planning & nursing home care. Long term care planning is especially wise for the gay or lesbian couple. When the need for nursing home care arises, all couples fear the possibility of spending down their assets to the point that they need Medicaid. Yet federal law is crueler in this circumstance to domestic partners. If one of two straight spouses enters a nursing home and applies for Medicaid, the other spouse can stay in the couple’s jointly-owned residence without fear of losing the home.

Yet if domestic partners own a home jointly and one applies for Medicaid, the healthy partner must buy out the ill partner’s ownership share to remain in that home.

How George W. Bush gave gay couples a tax break. As a closing note, here’s an interesting financial wrinkle. When President Bush signed the Worker, Retiree and Employer Recovery Act of 2008, an opportunity that was once merely allowed became legally required. As of January 1, 2010, a surviving partner of a same-sex couple can roll over lump-sum inherited retirement savings from an employer-sponsored retirement plan to an IRA without a tax penalty. Before 2010, companies could prohibit this kind of rollover. Now, all employer-sponsored retirement plans that pay lump sums to non-spouse beneficiaries must provide the option.

Let’s talk. Have you and your partner, husband or wife considered the amount of money you’ll need for the future? Have you taken time to look at your options in terms of trying to protect yourself from financial risk? A chat with a financial consultant can prove informative and illuminating. Have it now rather than later.

Chad Mashburn is a Representative with Cambridge Investment Research Advisors and may be reached at www.platinumwealthsolutions.com, 262-312-0640, chad@platinumwealthsoluions, or facebook.com/ platinumwealthsolutions

These are the views of Peter Montoya Inc., not the named Representative nor Broker/Dealer, and should not be construed as investment advice. Neither the named Representative nor Broker/Dealer gives tax or legal advice. All information is believed to be from reliable sources; however, we make no representation as to its completeness or accuracy. The publisher is not engaged in rendering legal, accounting or other professional services. If other expert assistance is needed, the reader is advised to engage the services of a competent professional. Please consult your Financial Advisor for further information.

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EVERYONEISGAY.COM

Advice Website Continues To Promote Change and Support LGBTQ Youth and Beyond. photo courtesy: Corey Hayes

veryone Is Gay, the advice website for all, with an emphasis on ELesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer (LGBTQ) youth,

kicked off its Spring 2013 tour to college campuses this past March.

Since its 2010 start-up, Everyone Is Gay, and cofounders Kristin Russo and Dannielle Owens-Reid, have worked tirelessly to promote kindness, positive thinking, and awareness towards LGBTQ issues and beyond. Their message and mission, along with hilarious lip-syncing and humor, has resulted in ever-growing online presence and outreach: 6 million page views, 65,000 tumblr followers, 19,000 Facebook fans, and 1.5 million YouTube views.

today’s young people and enable dialogue on a multitude of issues: “We want to talk to kids about the realities they are facing presently, and push them to change the things around them as they currently exist,” said Russo at a past event at the University of Toledo. Everyone Is Gay will continue to embark on its mission during their tours this year.

If you also believe that youth, especially, have the power to bring change through both their attitudes and actions -- visit Kristin and Danielle at www.everyoneisgay.com

Adding to the college and high school campuses they have spoken at in the past—a total of 70 plus visits around the United States—the girls visited schools from New Jersey to Idaho this past spring. Kristin and Dannielle are fresh off an appearance at this year’s SXSW conference in Austin TX, in which they spoke about the consequences of cyber bullying. Along with their continuous outreach, the girls are also working to develop a middle school and high school curriculum about how to discuss sexuality and handle bullying in the classroom.

Russo and Owens-Reid’s honesty, approachable nature, and humor make them relatable to today’s youth. At an event in Charleston, South Carolina, GSA Advisor Stephanie Mignone said: “[Our students] were enthralled with Kristin and Dannielle and hung on their every word…Dannielle and Kristin offered up a very engaging, entertaining presentation.” Russo and Owens-Reid want to build confidence in

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photo courtesy: Shervin Lainez

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graphic courtesy Sean Platter of Studiosplatter.com

Words

Like, Share, Update Is slacktivism the answer?

matter. Images matter more.

And like it or not, whether it's a slogan like "love, honor, commitment" or an equals sign in a box, HRC knows how to turn heads. Let's stop and reflect together on the recent spectacle that had Facebook bleeding for a week.

Rumor has it that in March, HRC (Human Rights Campaign) asked award-winning actor and playwright George Takei (or you may know him as Star Trek's Mr. Sulu) to share its new marriage equality logo on Facebook to coincide with SCOTUS oral arguments around Proposition 8 and DOMA. If so, brilliant strategy.

Takei's Facebook page has about 4 million fans (myself included) from a number of niche markets: techies, Trekkies, gays and stage aficionados, to name a few. It's a real hoot to see the number of comments and shares that spawn from whatever (and I do mean whatever) Takei shares.

Regardless, with or without Sulu's help the revised logo went viral and before long I found myself explaining the phenomenon to Canadians all that week while in Montreal. Facebook released data soon after, showing that roughly 2.7 million more people updated their profile photo the day after campaign kickoff, compared with the previous week. The social web service even put together a nifty map to go with the data [1].

by Chris de la Torre

Also going viral, almost as quickly as the logo itself, was an anti-HRC backlash that's since been a topic of debate in the interwebz. I'm not here to advocate for or against HRC—it's not my job or the point of this piece— but let's just say there are more than a few progressives, both inside and outside the marriage movement, who don't care for the way the organization has chosen to represent itself demographically. Some claim, for instance, that the oppressive power structure the movement opposes has been glorified, even adopted, by the

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organization's culture and practices.

This is one reason some digital natives were up in arms after the red logo went viral—according to them, HRC had once again appropriated the marriage movement as its own, despite having perpetuated its own brand of inequality in the past.

One blog in particular caught my eye.

The blogger at Clever Title TBA, who was tempted to unfriend everyone with an HRC logo as their profile pic, posted this:

So I know that when I look at my Facebook wall and I see fifteen little 'equals' signs, I’m supposed to feel happy. I’m supposed to pat my liberal friend group collectively on the back and feel good about the progress that society is making. I’m supposed to be grateful that after all the years of hard work and all the billions of dollars spent on the gay marriage campaign, America is finally coming around.

But I actually feel sad and more than a little angry. . . . [HRC's] vision of 'equality'—as obviously signaled by their logo—is not, and never has been, equality for all" [2].

For others it was about the seemingly hypocritical nature of the marriage movement itself. Scot Nakagawa says "the most mainstream faction within the LGB movement [he leaves out the "t" here intentionally] is subtly positioning us as model minority", warning that "when we argue that being able to wield this shield as a right we deserve because we conform with the values of good people, that shield can become a weapon against those who are still excluded" [3].

But despite all of the words about integrity and motive, the greater resentment seemed to be focused on something called "slacktivism" (social activism waged online in the comfort

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of one's home—or wherever the palm can reach, as it were). The authenticity of this new digital grade of bandwagon activism is questioned, in terms of both sincerity and effectiveness. Despite the ongoing war for Internet freedom, most evidence so far suggests the Web is a force for good. But we've also seen the less-than-desirable effects of digital—sociopathy, groupthink, addiction.

We're wired from the moment we wake until the moment we fall asleep (and often even in between), so it's fair to ask if we really do understand what's happening to us online. But then again, maybe this latest example of slacktivism is evidence of the sea change we've been waiting for.

Nerdy Feminist says, in the end "we're celebrating what is now the majority opinion and helping people who might otherwise be isolated feel a part of something" [4], and one slacktivist tells the Chicago Tribune, "it's amazing how loud an image can be without making a sound" [5]. But is "liking" and profile updating enough?

Is virtual activism the answer?

In a 2011 Big Think video, writer Andrew Sullivan points to a "profound shift in self consciousness"—a shift in support for marriage, military and workplace rights—that in turn affects the consciousness of others. "That's our strength", he says. "Unlike other minorities, we're totally embedded in the majority . . . therefore we have such cultural power. What we're going to do is shift public consciousness.

The only thing that brings us equality is our own testimony and our own lives" [6].

So maybe 2.7 million testimonies can affect change after all. The Internet is speaking to us. Question is, are we listening?

Notes: [1] Facebook, "Showing Support for Marriage Equality on Facebook" by Eytan Bakshy https://www.facebook. com/notes/facebook-data-science/ showing-support-for-marriage-equalityon-facebook/10151430548593859 [2] Clever Title TBA, "Why I almost defriended everyone who had an HRC logo..." http://agnesgalore.tumblr.com/ p ost/46709012222/w hy-i-a lmostdefriended-everyone-who-had-an-hrclogo [3] Change Lab, "Why I Support Same Sex Marriage as a Civil Right, But Not as a Strategy to Achieve Structural Change" by Scot Nakagawa http://www. changelabinfo.com/2013/03/25/why-isupport-same-sex-marriage-as-a-civilright-but-not-as-a-strategy-to-achievestructural-change/#.UWmbUytdRF8 [4] Nerdy Feminist, "On 'Slacktivism' and Red Avatars" http://www.nerdyfeminist. com/2013/03/on-slacktivism-and-redavatars.html [5] Chicago Tribune, "Facebook turns red in support of gay marriage" http : / / w w w. c h i c a got r i bu n e . c om / ne ws/chi-gay-mar r i age-re d-facebook-20130326,0,5428076.story [6] Big Think, "It Gets Better—But Not Through Politics" http://bigthink.com/ videos/it-gets-better-but-not-throughpolitics

Chris de la Torre writes about how science and technology change the way we understand ourselves and each other.

His work has contributed to landmark victories, including Varnum v. Brien, the Lambda Legal case that won the right for same-sex couples to marry in Iowa. Follow him on Twitter @urbanmolecule.

Your V illa Awaits You Ft. Lauderdale Guest Suites Booking and Information:

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It’s not the Destination that Counts,

but the Journey

Our First Father’s Day to the Happiest Place on Earth -- on a Budget

My partner and I welcomed two children into our family in

July of 2011, and last year we were able to celebrate Father’s Day, as Father’s, for the first time. Naturally, we wanted to make this special day as memorable as possible. We decided that surprising the kids with a trip to the ‘happiest place on earth’ would be a life-long memory for all of us. Keeping our budget in mind, as many parents do, we were able to find an inexpensive hotel within walking distance from Downtown Disney. Wyndham Lake Buena Vista Resort offers amenities including an aquatic playground; two pools; a large hot tub; free self-parking; and a ‘Disney character breakfast’ three days a week. Upon arrival, the concierge offered additional

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“gifts,” which included a coupon book and the chance to take a tour of one of their newest timeshare facilities. I must admit, the only reason we agreed to visit the timeshare was the $100 cash offer we received after the tour.

Before heading to our room, I reminded the front desk that we had reserved a crib for our youngest child -- they promised it would be delivered to my room later that afternoon. Before leaving the room, I made a final phone call, in a very stern voice, to again request the crib that had not yet arrived. The Housekeeping Manager informed me that all available cribs were being used by other hotel

by Manny Velasquez-Paredes

patrons. I calmly explained how I had requested the crib during the booking process; called prior to arriving to ensure the crib would be in our room; and reminded the front desk of our needs upon arrival. Still remaining calm, I informed him that if a crib were not made available to us, our family would have to find another hotel. He anxiously urged me not to worry, and assured me that he would take care of this problem. After a two-hour wait and still no crib, we decided to go explore the town.

Returning to our hotel room, after dinner and adventure seeking in Downtown Disney, we were pleasantly surprised to find a brand new playpen (tag still hanging) that had been securely setup, along with a plush Mickey Mouse doll sitting inside the crib. The note read: “Baby Max, sorry for the setback, please accept this gift as our apology.” Extremely pleased with the outcome, I would say that the staff surpassed my expectations! This potentially horrible experience was turned into a sharable story that offers a wonderful word-of-mouth recommendation for the Wyndham Lake Buena Vista Resort.

photos courtesy Manny Velasquez-Paredes

A friend of a friend of a friend, provided us with discount tickets to the Walt Disney World park, which helped us a lot since we were traveling on a budget. Being just a couple of weeks away from annual birthday celebrations for both of my kids, I went to guest services and picked up free “Happy Birthday” Disney buttons. I also obtained buttons for my partner and in-laws that read “First Time Visitor.” The birthday button has a great perk: all cast members who see the button, will wish you a “happy birthday,” which made the trip even more memorable for our kids. At almost two years old, my son Max was too little to enjoy many of the rides, but with the array of spectacular scenes throughout the park, it was definitely a visual feast for the children as well as the adults.

Our children were fascinated by the characters and thoroughly enjoyed having their pictures taken with their idols. Cast members will gladly take pictures with you or for you, and give you the option to view them online after returning home. This is especially nice for grandparents, since there is an option to purchase these photos.

The fact that we were together for our first Father’s Day celebration, and able to save on some of our vacation expenses, not to mention that we actually made $100 for touring the timeshare, made our first Father’s Day trip to the ‘happiest place on earth’ an unforgettable experience. It brings a smile to my face and warms my heart in a way that maybe only parents can understand, when we see a Disney World commercial, and the kids happily scream, “we were there, we were there!” Remember, it’s not the destination that counts, but the journey we take and the memories make.

Email me your comments, thoughts, or questions and I will try to address them in upcoming issues, (velasquezmanny@gmail.com), or follow me (@mannyvp), also head over to www.facebook.com/ gayfamilytravel for engagement and interaction with myself and other proud gay parents.

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Virginia Hotspots

A splashing finale concludes a fiery boat expedition through the ancient ruins of Escape from Pompeii® at Busch Gardens® Williamsburg. ©2013 SeaWorld Parks & Entertainment, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

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Adventure

Busch Gardens® is an action-packed, European-themed adventure park with 17th-century charm and 21st-century technology, boasting more than 100 acres of fun-filled exploration. In 2013, Busch Gardens will introduce its first ever food festival. During this immersing event you’ll find special and unique foods and beverages, featuring sample-sized portions of superb foods, wines and other refreshments not usually found at Busch Gardens.

Stroll through France to enjoy coq au vin with rosemary roasted fingerling potatoes, linger in Spain for venera con jamón with saffron rice and romesco sauce, and then stop in Germany for pork schnitzel and fine-crafted brews.

Theme Parks in Virginia: Atlantis Water park in Centreville | Busch Gardens® in Williamsburg | Great Wolf Lodge Water park in Williamsburg | Kings Dominion in Doswell | Massanutten Indoor/Outdoor Water Park in McGaheyville | Splash Valley Water Park in Roanoke | SplashDown Water park in Manassas

Pictured Above: Those who brave the mysterious snowbeast, Alpengeist®, are launched on a flight of fury.

Towering over Busch Gardens® Williamsburg at 195 feet, Alpengeist® is the tallest, fastest, most twisted inverted roller coaster in the world. ©2013 SeaWorld Parks & Entertainment, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

47 www.connextionsmagazine.com photos courtesy: Busch Gardens® Williamsburg

Wine

Virginia is home to dozens of wineries and hosts hundreds of wine tours each year but if you have a craving to try hand selected reds and whites from around the world, C’est Le Vin offers eclectic wine options and a diverse atmosphere.

A wine bar, an art gallery, tango lessons and distinctly flavored, small plated, carefully selected dishes of cuisine can be savored at C’est Le Vin – a cozy spot in Richmond, Virginia. Their unique slogan says: A place where ‘wine can be sipped, food can be savored, and friends can always be seen.’ C’est Le Vin recently hosted a free wine tasting event for the Richmond Business Alliance, Richmond’s LGBT Chamber of Commerce. www.cestlevinrva.com

photos courtesy: C’est Le Vin

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Beach

Recently named one of the “9 best boardwalks in the US” by the Huffington Post, Virginia Beach offers a three-mile path along the Atlantic Ocean. Virginia Beach boasts 35 miles of coastline from the Chesapeake Bay, the Resort Area on the ocean coast, and the East Coast beach hideaway of Sandbridge. Family friendly and home to many economic beachfront hotels, Virginia Beach is more than just for lovers.

Unique to Virginia Beach is the cast bronze statue of King Neptune that stands at 34 feet tall. Beach Street USA is a fun event that takes place from June until Labor Day and offers a Mardi Gras style atmosphere.

From whale watching, dolphin gazing, and boardwalk bike riding; to shopping and fine dining – Virginia beach adventures and activities await.

photos courtesy: Cameron Davidson.Virginia Tourism Corporation (Virginia.org)

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History

Virginia is rich in the history of shaping our country. The battles fought and the blood that was shed, contributed to the foundation of our freedom. With so many lives sacrificed for this Country, it is a shame not to be able to mention every detail of every war fought within these state lines. Virginia is home to more than 1000 historic sites, over 140 military memorials, more than 90 battlefields and nearly 800 Civil War sites.

Colonial Williamsburg is a popular Historic area, and visitors are welcome to explore dozens of original buildings, homes, and shops, reconstructed on 301 acres.

Rare animal breeds, historic trades, and lovingly restored gardens add layers of authenticity to the Colonial Williamsburg experience.

Several reenactments also take place in Virginia, including the New Market Battle, held at New Market Battlefield State Historical Park in the Shenandoah Valley, which is held in May of each year.

Photos courtesy: Scott K. Brown.Virginia Tourism Corporation A Reenactment of the 1864 Battle of New Market at New Market Battlefield State Historical Park celebrating the event's 147th Anniversary in Virginia's Shenandoah Valley. The Virginia Museum of the Civil War. For more info: Virginia.org

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Animals

Virginia is home to some unique creatures living in farms and zoo’s throughout the region. The Virginia Zoo in Norfolk is home to 400 animals, on 53 acres of beautifully landscaped grounds and you can get up close and personal with elephants, lions, kangaroos, meerkats, prairie dogs and so much more!

Animal adventures in Virginia: Bear Path Acres Zoo | Bluebird Gap Farm in Hampton | Creation Kingdom Zoo in Snowflake | Fort Chiswell Animal Park in Max Meadows | Leesburg Animal Park | Lost World Ranch in Burkes Garden | Luray Zoo and Reptile Center in Luray| Metro Richmond Zoo in Moseley | Mill Mountain Zoo in Roanoke | Natural Bridge Zoo | Peninsula SPCA Exotic Sanctuary & Petting Zoo in Newport News | Reston Zoo in Vienna | Stonehaus Farms in Martinsville | Ticonderoga Farms in Chantilly |Virginia Zoo in Norfolk | Virginia Safari Park (Drive-thru zoo) in Rockbridge County.

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Your Path to being Happy … Live by your own “feel good” rules and ditch everyone else’s!

by Maria Lesetz, Certified Life Coach & Motivational Speaker ave you every noticed that there are many people who want H you to live by their rules and think that their rules are the only

rules to live by? Then they try to impose their rules of life onto you, thinking that, what works for them will work for you as well.

They insist on it!

But you and I know that it doesn’t work that way. Often, when you live by other people’s rules, you find yourself frustrated, unhappy and not satisfied with the way things are.

And, here’s the kicker … when you live by other people’s rules, especially when those rules don’t feel good to you, it keeps you from living a life filled with joy.

It feels difficult to attract into your life what you desire to have because you are not following your own inner guidance system.

You are living life by guidelines that don’t belong to you. It’s as if you took the directions to get to your friend’s house and you used those same directions to get back home. That just wouldn’t work.

You would end up at your friend’s house, not yours!

Many of my clients get caught up in this trap of living by other people’s rules and it stops them from living the life they truly desire to have. For example, I have a new client right now who hired me to help her grow her photography business. She has

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attended many workshops, followed lots of business consultants, hired other coaches and is extremely active on social media.

However, when she initially hired me her head was spinning with rules and action steps that others told her that would help her grow her business. She felt stuck, not seeing any growth in her business at all. Why is that? She was learning steps from other “entrepreneurial experts”. She was spending lots of time growing her fan base. So, why was nothing happening for her?

Because many of the action steps she was told to take did not feel good to her. Matter of fact, most of them made her feel stressed out and overwhelmed. And you know what that feeling prompts you to do next? You got it … NOTHING! How can you be motivated to take action, when all the action steps in front of you stress you out before you even do them? The New Yorker in me says “Fawget about it … you might as well stop everything you are doing and do something that puts a great big smile on your face!”

And that’s essentially what I told her to initially do.

Now, you may be thinking “well, that’s not going to grow her business”, but au contraire … it will! Let me explain.

I proceeded to tell my client to follow her “feel good”. This meant to only take inspired action steps, the ones that put a smile on her face. She asked me “what should I do with those action steps that

don’t feel good?” And you know what my answer was … “Ditch them!” So, she started to make up her own “feel good” rules to building her business. Initially this was a foreign concept to her, but it felt so darn good. She was sending me e-mail messages after 1 week of working with me and feeling so elated, light and free. She was ditching the rules of others and just following what felt good to her! And you know what happened? She started getting really clear as to what her business niche was and how much she was going to charge and started writing the copy for her website (something that she was “stuck” around before). And as I am writing this, she has her first paying gig and is getting paid for doing what she loves to do!

She was going with the flow of “feel good” and paying attention to her emotional guidance system. Even her spouse started telling her how much lighter and happier she was after 1 week of working with me. Now, I am not saying this to toot my own horn (although toot toot … why not?), I am pointing out the power in following what feels good to you and being keenly aware of how you feel when you are living by other people’s rules. When you are in touch with your own emotional guidance system and let how you are feeling be your guide to determining what step you should take next, that’s when life opens up for you and you begin to feel happy and pleased with the direction you are heading towards.

The clarity you seek is within you. You just have to stop, assess how what you are doing is feeling, and decide from there whether you need to change the steps you are taking or keep on plugging along. And the only indication that would say “change up” is if what you are currently doing is not feeling good to you. Yes, that’s your ticket to being happy and achieving your goals in life – FOLLOW YOUR FEEL GOOD!

Now, here are a few suggestions on making your own “feel good rules” for life: • If you have your own rules that you live by right now, reevaluate them and see if you have outgrown some of them. Do they resonate with you 100%? Do they make you feel good on the inside? Are they truly YOUR rules?

• If your rules include the behavior of others (meaning your happiness is contingent upon what others say or do or how they interact with you), you are really setting yourself up for disappointment and a life of being unhappy. You cannot control what others do. You can only control what YOU do and how you feel. Ditch the rules you have that involve what others “should do”.

“Shoulds” stop you from living a life filled with joy.

• Start asking yourself the question “does this rule or action step that I am taking belong to me or is it someone else’s rule and belief system?” When you start becoming more aware of what feels good to you and follow your own guidance system, you will feel so much happier in life.

• When you feel overwhelmed or stressed out, stop and notice it. Many of us live by default, thinking that being stressed is just a way of life or that feeling overwhelmed is what you are supposed to feel if you are running your own business or have a very hectic life schedule. That’s simply not true. You don’t have to feel overwhelmed.

You can choose to stop, be aware of that overwhelmed feeling and then deliberately choose to pivot to a better feeling place. Also, in times of feeling overwhelmed and stressed, we are living by other people’s rules and beliefs about the way we should be living our life.

You need to recognize that and change it immediately.

Here’s a novel concept, which may resonate with you most of all: Don’t live by any specific rules. Just follow your bliss. Go with the flow. Realize that the only constant is change and be flexible in those moments of change. Live in the moment. Love what you have. Trust that all will work out for the best!

To find out more about Maria’s Life Coaching Services, visit her website at www.LovinLifeNow.com or contact her directly at Maria@MariaLesetz.com.

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There is nothing more peaceful and exhilarating than getting away from civilization and enjoying raw nature. As a wilderness enthusiast, I get a lot of satisfaction from being in an unspoiled place to enjoy life at its most basic.

But I’m also extremely focused on preparedness – that is, anticipating emergencies that might arise and being ready to deal with them.

The fact is, exploring the wilderness is not without some risk and there are countless news stories about people who have suffered misfortune while communing with nature. But you can greatly reduce the risk by planning ahead and being prepared for unforeseen circumstance. Sure, you might only anticipate a four-hour hike, but think about a few things that could happen along the way: You accidentally stray from the trail you’re on and lose your way; A sudden rain storm soaks and chills you; You encounter a wild animal; You or someone you’re hiking with sustains an injury; Now unless you plan to drag a wagon load of equipment with you, there is no comprehensive list of supplies that will anticipate every circumstance. So I’ve itemized some easily carried wilderness survival items that you can pack on a hiking or camping trip.

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Essential Items

Wilderness Survival

by Tom Sciacca

Knife – Essential for cutting branches for a fire or to build shelter.

Lighter or fire starter – As important as having a knife.

Compass – A GPS is fine unless the batteries die; A compass is trustworthy, provided you know how to use it.

Water – Dehydration is possible even in mild weather.

Your body needs water.

First Aid Kit – Pack what you have space for, including bandages, antiseptic and gauze.

Flashlight – Modern LED flashlights are small, bright and don’t take a lot of battery power.

Paracord – This high strength, lightweight nylon rope is so versatile that I’ve written entire articles on its usefulness. I even have shoelaces made out of it, which, in a pinch, I can separate into various strands for tying things up, to use as fishing line or even dental floss!

Space blanket – They’re very compact, yet provide a surprising amount of warmth.

Plastic tarp – Provides shelter from rain or can keep your body separated from the damp ground if you have to sleep overnight.

Whistle – You can yell if you’re lost, but your voice will get tired. The sound of a whistle will carry for a long way and all you need is the breath in your lungs.

If space permits, consider gloves, water purification tablets, energy bars, bear spray and specific items that suit your location. There are plenty of items I could add to this list, but these essentials are a great starting point.

Remember that your cell phone may not get reception in a secluded area, so don’t assume you can just call for help. (Anyway, wouldn’t you rather find your own way out of danger instead of appearing on the evening news being unloaded from a rescue helicopter?)

By planning ahead and bringing a few key items, you’ll be able to focus on having fun instead of stressing about emergencies. And that’s what enjoying the wilderness is all about.

Tom Sciacca is a US Marine veteran of the Gulf War, a survival enthusiast and President of CampingSurvival.com.

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In Review

Title: Promiscuous Author: KD Jones ADULT ONLY

Promiscuous

Overcharged in sexual nature, Promiscuous, a 97 page manuscript, is actually a diary -- or rather a true written account of 123 different sexual partners. In the constant quest for companionship and love, Jones writes an honest and raw journal of how her sexual encounters replace the feelings of loneliness.

As stated by Author KD Jones: "Not another Sex and the City, but many indiscretions.

More compared to Tucker Max. More direct than Chelsea Handler. My story, is my time of promiscuity. I know, big deal. But this true tale comes rapid-fire. In your face.

Raw and raunchy. Diary or blog-style. Like today’s world, fast-paced.

Not a groupie, not entirely a slut. More a consenting adult. Confronting a life with no commitments, no family obligations, just a passion to live with an insatiable need to party, lust, and actually challenge death with my own means of survival.

a true story

kd Jones

This is a totally honest depiction of the actual events that took place in my search for companionship. Some I will never forget, some I remember only because I kept a diary.

There came some good times, some very bad, some happy, and some very sad, which included 2 rapes, a near gang rape, and incidents where I am very lucky to be alive.

This story reveals desperation, loneliness, desertion, feelings of fear, lots of drugs and sadness in my search for compatibility.

Love would have been nice, but sex was better than nothing. I have diligently documented 123 different guys and their many adventures, with several repeat offenders‌Just a wild and crazy girl, I guess."

BOOK DESCRIPTION: A salacious, unapologetic and sometimes shocking account of a woman's mad dash for sexual escapades after her divorce, with a preference for younger men way before it became "fashionable".

These interludes include 3-somes, 2 guys in the same day, new encounters the very next day and lots of drugs. Not all good experiences, there is documented rape and instances where she is lucky to be alive. Overall a fascinating diary.

Available at Amazon.

Promiscuous website: http://www.promiscuoustales.com

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Title: Untying the Knot Author: David L. Kaufman, M.D. Available in paperback and digital at Amazon

Synopsis: By all accounts, David Kaufman had a good life—he was married to a woman he loved, had two adult children, and a fulfilling career as a radiologist. But as the years passed, he realized that he could no longer deny who he was. When he told his wife that he was gay, her reaction was anything but expected: she confided in him that she had accepted the growing awareness that she, too, was gay. In Untying the Knot, David Kaufman shares a unique story of coming out and how he and his former wife have helped each other on their separate journeys into new lives.

Review: In this autobiography, David L. Kaufman details his life-long journey of being a straight, married man -- through his relatable ‘coming out’ process; describing the many joys and struggles along the way. From the joys of having children and pursuing a doctoral degree, along with the excitement of finally embracing who he always knew he was – possibly subconsciously at times; to the depression and anxiety that comes with life-long suppression and major life changes. Kaufman discusses his bouts of depression and suicide attempts; his understanding of sexual orientation, science and gay history; along with his unknown Jewish heritage, his attempt at being Mormon, and his understanding of Buddhism.

The beauty of Kaufman’s story is that he never had to go through this process of understanding alone. Shockingly, he learns that his wife has also come to an understanding of her own -- she is a lesbian.

I appreciate Kaufman’s candid honesty, and I believe that readers – straight or gay – will personally relate to many of the challenging obstacles that are described in his story.

Living in a world of ‘normalcy’ and total acceptance by society, to then living as a minority and listening to the judgment of others, is just the beginning of Kaufman’s true account of his journey from both sides.

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Website Highlights

FREE

LambdaGazette.com Published for more than eight years, the Lambda Gazette is Tidewater’s GLBT Monthly Newspaper.

The mission of the Lambda Gazette is to provide an all-inclusive LGBT paper that highlights current events and LGBT/LGBT-friendly businesses. Through this paper, we want to create a sense of pride and togetherness in the Hampton Roads community.

Tidewater’s GLBT Monthly Newspaper

It's official! OUT in the Park 2013 will be held on August 10, 2013

To find out how YOU can get involved, email us at info@hamptonroadspride.org

What started as a gathering of a couple hundred people tucked away at a small park has grown and evolved into a major festival attracting 14,500 people who joined together at Norfolk’s Town Point Park to celebrate pride, diversity, and a coming-of-age for Tidewater’s LGBT Community.

Here we grow again; OUT IN THE PARK/ PRIDEFest 2013 is here Last year, donors large and small stepped up to the plate and proved to Hampton Roads that the LGBT Community had earned our place at the table. This year, with your help, we can do even more. The call to action is more than just supporting the organization that hosts a festival.

It’s about investing in your community to sponsor programs to educate, inform, and reach out to members of our community to give them a place at the table as well. With your support, Hampton Roads Pride will be sponsoring holiday meals to feed the less fortunate, expand our scholarship program, provide outreach to GLBT youth, and host networking events designed to bring our community closer together. Ambitious? Perhaps. Achievable? Absolutely!

APRIL 2013 Thanks to all of the volunteers who helped make OUT in the Park 2012 such a success!

One of the things we learned this year was that many of you are looking for a way to get more involved with the community. In response to that,HR Pride is pleased to introduce Pride CARES. C.A.R.E.S. stands for Community Activity and Resource Enrichment Series and it is your opportunity to continue your involvement with the community and help Pride give back to the community where we live and work. Watch this space for announcements of upcoming volunteer opportunities!

Got an idea for a volunteer activity where we can show our PRIDE? Send an email to info@hamptonroadspride. org.

Hampton Roads Pride is the oldest GLBT organization in the Southeastern Virginia.... area, serving the needs of the community and raising awareness to the community at large about equality and fairness.

Mission INSTILL PRIDE, CELEBRATE UNITY and EMBRACE DIVERSITY in the Hampton Roads gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (GLBT) community by creating VISIBILITY and PROMOTING FULL HUMAN and CIVIL RIGHTS through EDUCATION, CELEBRATIONS and NETWORKING. If you have any questions or would like to be put on the list for OUT in the Park 2013, please email

vendors@hamptonroadspride.org

GayRVA.com GayRVA.com is Richmond, Virginia’s online resource for news, entertainment, and information about the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered (LGBT) community. Created in March 2009, their mission is to move Richmond forward by reflecting the city’s diversity, bringing a voice to the table, and creating opportunities within the region to connect.

GayRVA is locally owned by Inkwell, LLC, with an Advisory Board including community members and business professionals, who assist in the guidance of GayRVA. It is the only publication in Central Virginia dedicated to the LGBT audience.

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Virginia Resources

Richmond Business Alliance The Richmond Business Alliance is an organization dedicated to cultivating professional relationships, enhancing economic and educational opportunities, and fostering a sense of community among working professionals in both the private and public sectors throughout the greater Richmond, Virginia area.

A program of the Gay Community Center of Richmond, the RBA attempts to effectively incorporate the commercial, economic and professional interests of the LGBT community with those of the greater Richmond business community at large. As a result, the RBA provides a much-needed outlet where individuals and organizations from across various sectors of the business community come together to experience unique commercial, educational, networking and social programming opportunities. www.richmondbusinessalliance.com

Hampton Roads Business OutReach The Hampton Roads Business OutReach (HRBOR) is a broad based coalition of LGBT owned and LGBT supportive businesses and professionals dedicated to the development, growth and advocacy of Hampton Roads and its LGBT community. By promoting an environment in which diversity can flourish, HRBOR is committed to the economic growth and prosperity of their members and the community.

The Hampton Roads Business OutReach was founded in 2006 and is an affiliate member of the NGLCC. hrbor.org

Capital Area Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce The Chamber, the Capital Area's LGBT Chamber of Commerce is a nonprofit, nonpartisan, largely-volunteer network of over 400 Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender (LGBT) and Ally members in addition to the nearly 5,000 LGBT supporters who own or are employed by businesses, nonprofits, and government agencies in Washington, DC, Virginia, and Maryland. The Chamber is an affiliate of the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce and was awarded Chamber of the Year 2012.

The Chamber ranked 18th on the Washington Business Journal’s Book of Lists. The Chamber’s primary mission is to advocate, promote and facilitate the success of LGBT businesses, professionals and their allies in the Metro DC region, including Northern Virginia. www.caglcc.org

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LOCAL TRAVEL GUIDES 4XLFN WULS LGHDV LQ JD\ IULHQGO\ FLWLHV ZLWK H[FOXVLYH GLVFRXQWV IRU WKH EXGJHW FRQVFLRXV WUDYHOHU

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Gay Family Travel Proud Gay Parents who love Parenting!

Join us on facebook and share your family travel photos or engage in the discussions about the joys and struggles of being an LGBT parent.

Facebook.com/GayFamilyTravel

What’s For Dinner?

Not sure Not sure what whattotocook? cook?

Join me for the recipe of Join me for the recipe ofthe theday day.

Facebook.com/LindasSimpleDinners www.tastefullysimple.com/web/lrodman

Join the Journey...

Across America!

AUG 2011 Issue #4

WINTER 2011 Issue #5

Glenn 7 Reasons LGBT FamiliesRock Packard

CHOREOGRAPHER / TV PERSONALITY / RECORDING ARTIST / ACTOR / DIRECTOR

Canada’s New Gay Getaway

Spring 2012 Issue #6

Cruising what will it cost you? the Caribbean

IDOLS

Domestic Violence The Unspoken Truth

My Body made him gay

Massachusetts

Melissa Ferrick “Still Right Here”

10 Steps

Justin Utley musicians & mormons

to facebook success

LGBT Activist Sarah Schulman gives insight into

Marijuana www.connextionsmagazine.com

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the REAL fight for equality

America’s Obsession

Why Ohio?

The Next American Gay 12 Reality Show Finalists

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Professional NON-PROFIT/SERVICES American Veterans for Equal Rights National: www.aver.us Statewide: www.averdc.org Bisexual Foundation San Diego, CA www.bisexual.org Black Transmen, Inc. Virginia Chapter http://blacktransmen.org

Directory NON-PROFIT/SERVICES cont.

SPCAI Advancing the safety & well-being of animals www.spcai.org The Coalition for Transgender Rights in Virginia Williamsburg, VA http://transgenderrightsva.org Tidewater AIDS Crisis Task Force (TACT) Norfolk, VA www.tact-online.com

Equality Federation www.equalityfederation.org

Virginia Military Institute Gay and Lesbian Alumni (VMI GALA) http://groups.yahoo.com/group/VMIGALA/

Freedom To Marry Campaign to win Marriage Equality Nationwide www.freedomtomarry.org

Virginia NOW Norfolk, Virginia http://virginianow.wordpress.com/

Gay Community Center of Richmond/ Diversity Thrift www.GayRichmond.com

Shenandoah Valley Gay and Lesbian Association www.svgla.org

GLAAD Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation www.glaad.org GLSEN Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network www.glsen.org Human Rights Campaign Civil Rights for LGBT 1640 Rhode Island Avenue Washington DC, DC 20036 202.216.1500 www.hrc.org Log Cabin Republican Club of Virginia www.virginialogcabin.org/ National Center For Transgender Equality Washington, DC http://transequality.org/ NYC LGBTQS Chamber of Commerce Rev Carmen Hernandez www.nyclgbtqscc.com People of Faith for Equality in Virginia Richmond, VA www.faith4equalityva.org Soulforce Relentless Nonviolent Resistance Lynchburg, VA www.soulforce.org

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LODGING/RESTAURANTS Howard Johnson Ocean City, MD www.boardwalkhotels.com NYC-JC Luxury Hotel Alternative 70 Greene Street Jersey City, NJ 07302 646.662.2797 www.nyc-jc.com

PHOTOGRAPHERS Stu Gallagher Photography Fine Photography/prints for sale 315.663.7811 sdgallagher@gmail.com www.stugallagherphotography.com

PRIDE ORGANIZATIONS

PRIDE ORGANIZATIONS cont.

North Jersey Pride www.northjerseypride.org NYC Pride www.nycpride.org Roanoke Pride www.roanokepride.com For a complete list of Pride festivals in the US, click to www.connextionsmagazine.com/pride.html

TRAVEL/EVENTS Gay Family Travel www.facebook.com/gayfamilytravel NYC Up & Out! NYC Arts Entertainment & Culture www.nycupandout.com Out & About Travel 800.842.4753 www.gaytravelpros.com Purple Roofs Gay Travel Accommodations www.purpleroofs.com

WEDDING SERVICES EnGAYged Weddings A place for same-sex partners to plan their dream wedding! www.EnGAYgedweddings.com

OTHER Mr. Gay World USA www.mrgayworldusa.com Sean Platter Conceptual Design • Illustration • Graphic Design http://studiosplatter.com

Gay Pride Virginia www.gaypridevirginia.org

Stickboy Coffee www.stickboycoffee.com

Hampton Roads Pride www.hamptonroadspride.net

Tasty Made Simple with Linda Find out what’s for dinner tonight! www.facebook.com/LindasSimpleDinners

Key West Pride www.keywestpride.org

Trip Out Luxury Travel Web Series www.tripouttv.com

stugallagherphotography.com

www.stickboycoffee.com

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A Place for Same-Sex Partners to Plan Their Dream Wedding.

Verified LGBT-Friendly Wedding Vendor Directory & Forum.

www.EnGAYgedWeddings.com

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twitter.com/EnGAYgedWedding

facebook.com/EnGAYgedWedding

pinterest.com/EnGAYgedWedding

GAYWeddingsForum.com

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