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ga immigration news, page 7 | baseball@pulaski, page 8 | july fourth entertainment, page 18 June 29-Jul 5, 2011 news, arts & Entertainment weekly free

Red, WHITE AND CRUNK Memphis’ oddball Lord T & Eloise kick off a rap-tastic Fourth of July weekend By Bill DeYoung & Patrick Rodgers| 16

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this weekend at the wing. Wine Down Wednesdays - Vino Specials plus Live Music with Jeff Beasley Thirsty Thursdays - Mary Davis Group • Danielle Hicks Band Friday Night - Thomas Claxton • Jason Courtenay • The Jamisun Trio Saturday - Bucky & Jason • Rhythm Riot Band • Tokyo Joe Sunday - Bucky & Barry • The Steppin Stones Monday - Tacos & Ritas Night • Tuesday - Live Music outside...Trivia Night inside

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week at a glance

Freebie of the Week |



Fireworks on the River

The annual fourth of July pyrotechnics display lights up downtown. When: Monday, July 4, 9 p.m. Where: River Street Cost: Free

Check out additional listings below


Living History at Old Fort Jackson

What: Celebrate Independence Day with can-

non firings, musket demos, exhibits and more at the fort. When: Sat. July 2, 9 a.m.-5 p.m., Sun. July 03, 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Where: Old Fort Jackson, 1 Old Fort Jackson Rd. , Cost: $6/adults, free/kids under 6 Info:

Wednesday An American Salute

What: The Hilton Head Symphony Orchestra’s



for a complete listing of this week’s music go to: soundboard.

Lowcountry Brass performs a patriotic pops concert. When: Wed. June 29, 7 p.m. Where: Shelter Cove Community Park, 39 Shelter Cove Ln. , Hilton Head Cost: $20/general, Free/kids under 12 Info: 843-842-2055.


gallery + art shows:

Code, this redneck-exploitation pic is an “educational” film about the dangers of marrying pre-teen girls. When: Wed. June 29, 8 p.m. Where: Sentient Bean, 13 E. Park Ave. , Cost: $5 Info:

legendary songwriting of Lieber and Stoller. When: Wed. June 29, 8 p.m., Thu. June 30, 8 p.m., Fri. July 01, 8 p.m., Sat. July 02, 8 p.m., Sun. July 03, 7 p.m. Where: Arts Center of Coastal Carolina, Hilton Head Cost: $45/adult, $31/kids Info: 843-842-ARTS .


art patrol

Friday First Friday for Folk

What: The Savannah Folk Society’s monthly



Go to: Screenshots for our mini-movie reviews



go to: happenings for even more things to do in Savannah this week

Reservations req’d.

When: Sat. July 2, 9:30 a.m. Where: Dunham Farms, 5836 Islands Hwy,

What: Made before the Motion Picture Rating

What: A Grammy winning play celebrating the


What: Start the day with a scenic paddle trip.

Film: Child Bride (US, 1938)

Theater: Smokey Joe’s Cafe

for a list of this weeks

Morning Kayak excursion

concert features the Silverbird Duo and Goddy Shake. When: Fri. July 1, 7:30 p.m. Where: First Presbyterian Church, 520 E. Washington Ave. , Cost: $2 recommended donation Info:

Savannah Comedy Revue

What: The monthly stand-up show features

Vic Clevenger and Rosalind McCoy along with some special guests. When: Fri. July 1, 8 p.m. Where: Bay St. Theatre, 1 Jefferson St. , Cost: $9 Info:

Clay Johnson is vocalist at the Equinox Jazz Orchestra’s annual Patriotic Big Band Salute on July 4.

Midway Cost: $30/person, $15/person if you have your own kayak Info: 912-880-4500.

Cannons Across the Marsh

What: Artillery and musket firings, discus-

First Friday Fireworks

What: Start your weekend with a bang

at the Riverfront Association’s monthly first Friday fireworks display. When: Fri. July 1, 9:30 p.m. Where: River Street Cost: Free and open to the public Info:



Saturday Celebrate Steam Day

What: The Railroad Museum fires up its 1913

steam powered locomotive. Also, children’s games, train car tours and more. When: Sat. July 2, 9 a.m.-5 p.m., Sun. July 03, 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Where: Georgia State Railroad Museum, 601 W. Harris St., Cost: museum admission Info:

Farmers Market

What: The Forsyth Park farmers market

features locally grown fruits, veggies, herbs and other items. When: Sat. July 2, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Where: South end of Forsyth Park, Park & Bull St. Info:

sions about Revolutionary War activities along the Altamaha River, and more. When: Sat. July 2, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Where: Fort King George State Historic Site, 302 McIntosh Rd. SE, Darien Cost: $4-6.50 Info: 912-437-4770. http://www.gastateparks. org/fortkinggeorge


“Worth Fighting For”

What: A family-oriented Independence Day celebration featuring games, rides, music, food and fireworks. When: Saturday, July 2, 4-10 p.m. Where: Hunter Army Airfield Cost: Free and open to the public


4th of July Festival

What: Family fun, live music by the Paris Luna Band and a fireworks display for the night cap. When: Saturday, July 2, 5-10 p.m. Where: J.F. Gregory Park, Richmond Hill Cost: Free and open to the public

Film: Guys and Dolls (US, 1955)

What: The classic musical starring Frank

Sinatra and Marlon Brando who engage in a high stakes bet. When: Sat. July 2, 7 p.m. Where: Trustees Theater, 216 E. Broughton St. , Cost: $6-8 (additional service fees may apply) Info: 912-525-5050.

Sunday Civil War Baseball Game

What: It’s blue vs. gray at this annual game, which is played according to baseball rules in the 1860s. There will also be cannon firings. In addition, Fort Pulaski offers a full slate of events all weekend long. When: Sun. July 3, 12:30 p.m. Where: Fort Pulaski , Hwy 80, Cost: $5/person, Free/kids under 15. Info: 912-786-5787. http://www.nps. gov/fopu

Country Star Revue

What: A musical journey from Patsy

Cline to Taylor Swift. When: Sun. July 3, 3 p.m. Where: Historic Savannah Theatre, 222 Bull St. , Cost: $35/adults, $16/kids Info:

Patriotic Concert

What: The Savannah Winds’ annual

Indepedence Day celebration includes plenty of rousing tunes. When: Sun. July 3, 3 p.m. Where: AASU Fine Arts Auditorium, 11935 Abercorn St. , Cost: $12/adv, $14/door; discount for seniors & military Info: 912-344-2556 . http://tickets.


Fireworks on Tybee

What: Tybee celebrates Inde-

pendence Day with a bang.

When: Sun. July 3, 9 p.m. Where: Tybee Pier Pavillion, Tybee

Island Cost: Free Info:


Monday FREE

Tybee Beach Sweep

What: Show your patriotism by cleaning up the beach after the fireworks. Tybee Beautification Association is sponsoring a BeachSweep on July 4th. Where: Volunteers should meet at the Tybee Pavilion at 6:30 am for directions and supplies. When: Mon. July 4, 6:30 a.m. Cost: Free and open to the public

Patriotic Big Band Salute

What: The Equinox Jazz Orchestra

presents its annual 4th of July show, including big bad arrangements of patriotic favorites. When: Mon. July 4, 6 p.m. Where: Historic Savannah Theatre, 222 Bull St. , Cost: $35 Info:


What: A concert featuring the

Zac Brown Band and Fantasia (of American Idol fame) is followed by a fireworks show. When: Monday, July 4, 6 p.m. Where: Donovan Field, FortStewart, Hinesville Cost: Free and open to the public

Sand Gnats vs. Rome

What: The Gnats take on the Braves for

a holiday home series. When: Mon. July 4, 6 p.m., Tue. July 05, 7 p.m. Where: Grayson Stadium, 1401 E. Victory Dr. , Cost: $7-10 Info:


Let Your Feet Fly

What: Celebrate Independence

Day by getting footloose with the Savannah Dance Club. When: Monday, July 4, 7 p.m. Where: Quality Inn Midtown, 7100 Abercorn St Cost: Free Info: 912-398-8784


Wednesday The Six Wives of Henry VIII

What: Rob Bayless discusses the significance of Henry’s wives whose fates were encapsulated in the rhyme “Divorced, beheaded, died; divorced, beheaded, survived.” When: Wednesday, July 6, noon Where: Senior Citizens Inc., 3025 Bull St Cost: $5/members, $10/visitors; lunch is addtl $5

Film: Doberman (France, 1997)

What: Starring Vincent Cassel, this over-the-top, hyper-violent action flick was never released in the US. When: Wednesday, July 6, 8 p.m. Where: Sentient Bean, 13 E. Park Ave. Cost: $6 Info:

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week at a glance


4th of July at FortStewart



week at a glance | from previous page

news & opinion

News & Opinion

‘We are bound in history and they are not’ by Jim Morekis |


editor’s note

city notebook:

10 Follow up on

street food developments in Savannah. by patrick rodgers


11 Updated storm

surge models are kinda scary.... by patrick rodgers

07 politics 08 Sports 12 Blotter 13 Straight Dope 14 News of the Weird


comedy: Tony 24 Boswell brings

laughs to the Wormhole. by bill deyoung

16 Music 26 Food & Drink 28 Art 29 movies

I had a nifty column on the nation’s 235th birthday all ready to go for this Independence Day issue. It was awesome, I tell you. And then I had to go see Werner Herzog’s Cave of Forgotten Dreams over the weekend, presented at Victory Square Cinemas by Tomasz Warchol of CineSavannah and Jim Reed of Psychotronic Films. (Congratulations to the organizers on their sold-out screening.) It put those 235 years in perspective, it did. Herzog’s film is a look inside the recently discovered Chauvet Cave in France, which contains prehistoric wall paintings made over the past 32,000 years. Though in this case “prehistoric” almost doesn’t apply; the word might be “nonhistoric” or even “ahistoric.” Sealed by a rock slide somewhere along the way, Chauvet Cave and its contents are amazingly well-preserved. Revealed in 1994, it represents the oldest art ever found — twice as old as anything else, in fact. In an extremely rare opportunity, Herzog and a small crew were allowed inside with minimal equipment to make a record of the cave art, which the French government is taking enormous pains to preserve. The crew’s battery-powered lights have an effect remarkably similar to the torches that the original artists would have used to light the cave’s interior. The visual splendor of these skillfully rendered and deeply evocative paintings is stunning, both in their deceptive simplicity as well as in their raw power. They are just as fresh today as they were on the day they were painted eons ago, when mammoths walked the earth and glaciers two miles thick covered much of the globe. Many of us who saw the film were particularly struck by the same sequence, one that keeps coming back to us days later: Narrating, director Herzog says carbon dating shows that a cave painter often made his or her own additions and embellishments 5,000 years after a painting was started. Now that’s social media! “We really cannot imagine 35,000 years ago,” Herzog intones. “There you can see a painting that was started by someone and completed by someone else 5,000 years later. We are bound in history and they are not.” It’s quite profound and more than a little unsettling. It’s the rough equivalent of you stopping by a pyramid on your way to work to pay your respects to the pharaoh. Much more profound than that, really, since these Neolithic artists had nothing like the

concept of a modern nation-state. (Notice in this context ancient Egypt is “modern!” Wow.) They made their own context. 5,000 years, 235 years... all the same to them. So what does this have to do with the Fourth of July? Nothing. And everything. This week we celebrate some deceptively simple handiwork of a different nature: The signatures of 56 men who put pen to paper to mark their unalterable commitment to the Declaration of Independence. Theirs was a gamble which, though not

America has grown larger and more powerful than the signers of the Declaration probably ever imagined, but also a good bit less independent than they likely wanted. Our banks run the world but our government is on the edge of default. Unrest in far-off countries makes gas here at home too expensive for our road trip. Our soldiers fight for freedom in foreign lands, but some people within our own borders aren’t free to marry the person they love. We can fly as we please, but before we board a plane our government presumes us to be terrorists unless we prove otherwise. We are more bound by history than ever, but less bound to each other. The original Tea Party slogan 235 years ago was “No taxation without representation.” Today’s Tea Party just says “No taxation.” Watching Cave of Forgotten Dreams, I got the deeply unsettling but also strangely uplifting sense that Neolithic painters thousands of years apart were the independent ones, having more in common with each other across the centuries than we do today in our giant

Director Werner Herzog, right, with Wulf Hein playing a prehistoric flute

made on the field of battle, had their very lives at stake just as if they were on the front lines. The fighting would soon come in earnest, but on and around July 4, 1776 — some actually signed it later — their only weapons were their convictions and the quill pens they used to sign that sacred document. The price of failure was death. There would be no do-overs. Unlike cave art and the amendable U.S. Constitution, no one could come along years later and make additions. They were indeed “bound by history.” As are we.

bubble of cellphone and internet service, with so much to say to each other but so little of it really worth communicating. And I was reminded again that politics, even a political statement as important as the Declaration of Independence, is still in the end about nothing but gaining and using power. It is art and culture, not politics, which have the power to change people. And perhaps paradoxically, it is art and culture which also give us the power to find common ground, to find the sameness within us all. It was always thus. cs

The injunction blocks portions of the law that criminalized transporting or aiding undocumented immigrants, and that empowered law enforcement to check the immigration status of people who could not immediately produce documentation. Despite the setback, the state can appeal the federal court decision to the 11th circuit court, who could potentially overturn the injunction. During a hearing a week earlier Judge Thomas Thrash listened to arguments from both sides and scrutinized the actual intent of the law. “What do you and the General Assembly say is the purpose of this statute?” Thrash asked the state’s attorney Devon Orland, according to the court transcript. “Is the purpose to drive all the undocumented non–citizens....out of Georgia?” “The pupose – the public interest in the statute, I think, is actually more clear than that,” explained Orland. “It’s to save the resources of the State of Georgia in medical care, imprisonment.” How exactly the state is going to save money on imprisonment by detaining any or all of Georgia’s estimated 425,000 undocumented aliens was never clearly explained. But it is taxpayers who will have to pay for the overcrowded jails, the additional strain on local law enforcement and the costs of the state’s legal defense team. While the law hasn’t even taken effect yet (it’s supposed to on July 1), the repercussions of the new legislation are already being felt. The mere threat of the law – signed by the Governor in May – has been sufficient to route seasonal laborers

by Patrick rodgers

into other states, opening up 11,000 farming jobs, which were so unappealing to state’s unemployed (nearly 1 in 10 Georgians) that the Governor asked the Department of Corrections whether probationers could fill the gap. The fruits and veggies left unharvested are estimated at a $300 million loss for Georgia’s agriculture sector. “I’m proud to participate in this challenge to Georgia’s harsh ”papers please“ law, which runs counter to America’s greatest values and threatens to run my town’s economy to the ground,” wrote Paul Bridges, the mayor of Uvalda, GA, a town of 600 located southwest of Vidalia. Bridges joined the lawsuit against the state and penned an opinion piece that ran on CNN’s website last week. Bridges is just one of a growing number of Republicans who now stand in opposition to the law. Former Governor Sonny Perdue is another. “There is a real fear and perception that Georgia is probably not a state to be seen in if you’re of a different color,” Perdue said during an interview with WXIA–TV in Atlanta last week. Whether or not the intent of the law is to chase of undocumented immigrants, many families in Chatham County have already moved.

Although agriculture was the first sector to feel the pinch, more long term effects are likely. While supporters of the law have been quick to point out illegal immigrants’ use of social services as an economic drain, they fail to recognize the group’s contributions to the state’s sales tax coffers. The state has seen moderate revenue growth in the first quarter of the year, but it wouldn’t be a stretch to imagine that the next report from the Department of Revenue shows a decline. If the law scares off 20,000 undocumented aliens (less than five percent of the state’s undocumented population), who hypothetically spend $5,000 each per year on food, clothing and other goods, that is a loss of $100 million for in–state businesses. While revenue impacts remain speculative, one certainty is the impact this law will have on legal immigrants, who could be stopped and interrogated on a daily basis with no recourse. When Judge Thrash asked Orland how to prevent selective enforcement, Orland’s reply was, “if law enforcement wishes to conduct themselves in a prejudicial manner, they are going to do that...But this statute didn’t create that problem.” So because prejudice exists already, there’s no reason not to codify some of it inside the framework of this law (part of which prevents officers from being held liable for attempting to enforce the law). Orland summed it up in the courtroom: “It may be unfair. It may be unkind, but that doesn’t make it unconstitutional.” That depends on who you ask. cs

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news & opinion

Off to a bad start

“People have already left,” says a West Chatham The first legal volley in what will business owner who asked not to be named likely be years of court battles for fear that his clientele would be targeted. He has watched a significant decrease in over the constitutionality of his business in the last several weeks, the state’s immigration and is considering whether or not reform law took place to reduce the size of his store balance out the losses. Monday when a federal judge granted “Local businesses an injunction will soon be dedelaying prived of reliable revenue enforceprovided by ment of two the workers controversial – both with and without papers – measures until a Georgia’s immigration reform law who contribute to our lawsuit against the economy,” writes Bridges is already hurting the state before state is resolved. in his letter. legally taking effect



news & opinion


courtesy national park service; 1862 photo by Henry P. Moore

New York Yankees to play at Pulaski — literally



Fort to host first annual ‘Blue vs. Gray’ period baseball game on July 3 by Jim Morekis |

One of the first known photographs of what we would recognize today as a baseball game was taken at Fort Pulaski in 1862, soon after the Union takeover. Involving troops of the 48th New York Volunteer Infantry who were garrisoning the fort, the game in that famous photo was played on the vast parade ground inside the fort’s walls. You’ll have an opportunity to witness a very similar scene this Sunday — and maybe take a few swings out on the

explains Ft. Pulaski Park Ranger Joel Cadoff. “We’ll be playing in cotton shirts and trousers like what the soldiers would be wearing. The big flourish of real baseball uniforms doesn’t happen until some years later.” While New York was essentially the birthplace of baseball, Cadoff says it’s an “untrue myth” that Abner Doubleday — a U.S. Army officer who served with distinction in the Civil War — invented it.

parade ground yourself afterward — as teams from Fort Pulaski and Fort Jackson further up the Savannah River compete against each other in a Blue vs. Gray game based on the “official” rules of baseball at the time. “In the photographs it’s just soldiers who play, mostly in their uniforms,”


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“You still find people who believe Doubleday invented baseball, but that’s not the case,” says Cadoff. “It’s really a conglomerate of English games like cricket, roundball and rounders. Along the way it was simplified into something we’d recognize as baseball. We’ll be using the rules of the game from 1860 adopted by a group called the National Association of Baseball Players.” Some other differences between the Civil War version and today:

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Ft. Pulaski Independence Day Weekend Saturday, July 2 10 a.m. Guided Fort Tour 11 a.m. Cannon Firing Noon Musket Firing 1 p.m. Cannon Firing 1:30 p.m. Guided Fort Tour 2:30 p.m. Musket Firing 3 p.m. Cannon Firing 4 p.m. Guided Fort Tour 5 p.m. Musket Firing

Sunday, July 3 10 a.m. Guided Fort Tour 11 a.m. Musket Firing Noon Cannon Firing 12:30 p.m. National Anthem, followed immediately by “Blue vs. Gray” Civil War Baseball Game 2 p.m. Family Vintage Baseball Game 3 p.m. Cannon Firing 4 p.m. Guided Fort Tour 5 p.m. Musket Firing

Independence Day – Monday, July 4 10 a.m. Guided Fort Tour 11:30 a.m. Musket Firing Noon Guided Fort Tour 1:30 p.m. Musket Firing 2 p.m. Guided Fort Tour 3:30 p.m. Musket Firing 4 p.m. Guided Fort Tour 5 p.m. Musket Firing

Where: Fort Pulaski National Monument is on U.S. Hwy 80, 15 miles east of Savannah. Cost: Entrance fee of $5 per person is charged; ages 15 and under are free. Info: (912) 786–5787,

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• Underhand pitching (called “hurling”) • Batters (called “strikers”) are out if the batted ball is caught after the first bounce as well as in the air • No gloves • No called balls (pitchers/hurlers can complain to the umpire if they think the batter/ striker is wasting time) While Ft. Pulaski has hosted period baseball games in the past, those have mostly been intramural affairs involving staff. This year marks the first time that Pulaski is taking on a team from another fort — interleague play, you might call it. In case you’re wondering who will wear blue and who will wear gray, Cadoff and his Ft. Pulaski team will be the literal New York Yankees this year. “The main reason is because in those three different photos taken here, it was the 48th New York Infantry playing the games,” says Cadoff. “So it sort of made sense that Pulaski should be the Union side. Also, Fort Jackson remained a Confederate outpost during the entire war.” After the game, Cadoff says observers will get a chance to take a few whacks at the ball themselves. In addition to the game itself, Ft. Pulaski is hosting a whole range of family activities throughout the Independence Day weekend. cs

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sports | from previous page

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City Notebook

More to chew on

Business people and bureaucrats meet for the second time to discuss food trucks and carts by Patrick Rodgers |

Over the last few years, the food truck spot where mobile vendors return each movement has been one of the counnight to store their carts, clean their try’s fastest growing culinary trends. equipment, etc. — and questions about The nouveau chuck wagons have gone where mobile units from fringe culture can be located, which in ber–hip spots segued back into like Austin, TX questions about city and Portland, OR zoning. to an increasingly Many mobile food national phenomenthusiasts find the enon, including a commissary rule food truck–based troubling because reality TV show on having a physical the Food Network. location (which must True to her be owned by the cart Will food vendors be able to hit the nature, Savannah owner, and cannot road soon in Savannah? remains well behind be shared) defeats the the curve of early purpose of having a adopters, even as spots like Charleston mobile unit. However, after some claribegin to indulge their street tooth. fication from Jones, the actual requireMore than 40 local entrepreneurs ments for the commissary space didn’t converged on the Creative Coast office seem as onerous as the additional cost for the second in a series of meetings of maintaining such a space. to discuss ordinances and regulations Issues of location are murky, and with officials from the City and the confusion over regulations is exacerHealth Department — part of an ongobated by oversight from two departing effort to iron out the convoluted ments (Health and Zoning) with conweb of rules hindering mobile food flicting rules. The Health Department vending in the Hostess City. allows for two mobile locations so “We know how to make things move long as a vendor submits locations in slowly,” said Jake Hodesh, the Execuadvance. However, zoning within city tive Director of the Creative Coast, limits prohibits mobile vendors from who helped organize the meetings. establishing locations for business. “Let’s figure out how to make them If a food service vehicle is moving move quickly.” continuously (except when it stops Clarity on the issues remains fleetto make a sale), that is allowed under ing, and frustration amongst the entrerules for peddlers (but not allowed preneurial set was palpable at times. by the Health Department, which “We get a bad rap, and sometimes requires a map of locations for inspecthat’s justified,” said Todd Jones, the tion purposes). Zoning regulations will Environmental Health Director with not allow mobile vendors to set up in the Health Department, who was the a single location all day for fear that it featured official at the meeting. The would lead to a proliferation of blight first meeting included Randolph Scott, and traffic issues, as well as damage the City’s Zoning Administrator, and existing brick and mortar businesses. Tom Vanderhorst, the City’s Director Scott pointed out several times that of Revenue — both of whom showed there is very little existing language in up for last week’s meeting as well. the local ordinances governing food Jones stressed to the audience that carts and trucks, so in some cases rules there is “a misconception” about the default to those that regulate restaudifferent types of mobile units, and rants. One course of action available to that became clear as the meeting street food advocates is to draft a text continued. amendment that would be submitted Two topics demanding the most to council and staff for consideration. attention were requirements for owncs ership of a commissary — a physical

news & opinion


High water

Storm surge flooding could cause more damage than previously expected



by Patrick Rodgers

If Savannah is hit by a hurricane this season, storm surge flooding could be more damaging than was previously believed, according to inundation models created by the Army Corps of Engineers. Damage could be a category worse than was previously thought. Although it’s expected that flooding would affect the islands, the new storm surge models show that even a smaller storm could produce surprising amounts of flood damage, particularly in the western part of the county. The flooding previously thought to occur from a category three storm is now possible during a category two storm. “We’re in the worst storm surge area in the eastern United States,” said Clayton Scott, the head of the Chatham Emergency Management Agency, during a meeting last week with members of the media. In 2009, a Light Detection and Ranging (LIDAR) system, a laser–based mapping technology, was used to create more accurate topographical map of the area as part of an update to the Savannah Area Geographical Information System (SAGIS). The new maps highlight the importance of an evacuation plan if a hurricane is immanent. A category two storm would turn the historic district into an island, leaving large areas impassable for emergency crews until the water subsided. The National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Association predicts an “above–normal” amount of storm activity in the Atlantic this year, including 12–18 named storms, 6–10 hurricanes, and 3–6 major hurricanes (category three or higher). ????

Image courtesy of NASA


news & opinion JUNE 29-JULY 5, 2011 | WWW.CONNECTSAVANNAH.COM


Blotter All cases from recent Savannah/ Chatham Police Dept. incident reports

Carpet Culprit

A misunderstanding about some carpeting resulted in a call to the police. A woman filed a complaint about a disorderly person after nearly getting into a fight with her neighbor.

It was shortly after 10 p.m. when the woman was walking to her home and saw her neighbor. The neighbor mistakenly believed the woman had criticized the carpet in her apartment and attempted to provoke a fight. The complainant got back in her car and drove off, then called the police. She was given a CRN card and advised about seeking a good behavior warrant. • Two pit bulls attacked children at a playground one evening last week. The children were playing at Treat Park, at the corner of Treat and Gabel Streets, when the dogs approached them. One

child was pulled off a swing and bitten in the face. Neighbors had to beat one of the dogs unconscious with bricks in order to get it to release the child. Shots were fired to scare the other dog, which was later shot with a tranquilizer by Animal Control, but eluded them by escaping into a nearby wooded area. The dog was found early the following morning, and was to be quarantined to establish whether it is rabid. Both dogs had collars, but no tags. The 7-year-old who was bitten was taken to the hospital and was in critical condition. • A motorcyclist died in a multi–vehicle accident near the intersection of I–95 and route 204. It was shortly after 9:30 p.m. when Roosevelt Dunn lost control of his bike and hit the pavement. Another rider was traveling behind him and was unable to avoid hitting him. The second biker was launched from his bike, and the rider– less machine continued southbound on 95 until it struck a vehicle. Dunn succumbed to his injuries at the hospital. The second rider was listed in serious but stable condition.

• A house was engulfed by flames, and arson is suspected. Police received a report of a house on fire, and when an officer arrived, he saw a man with a garden hose futilely attempting to put out the blaze. The man told the officer that he knew the woman who owned the house, and that he had called her to let her know what was going on. She was on her way. When she talked with the officer, she said there was no reason for the house to have caught fire because she didn’t leave anything on when she left. The homeowner’s sister arrived and said that she knew who did it. She said that she and her sister had played cards with her former common-law husband. He doesn’t like anyone in the family (but will still play some cards with them), and they had to call the police to make him leave.

• A botched burglary left one would– be robber critically injured. Shortly after 1 a.m., three men tried to rob a young man in front of his cousin’s house. The victim ran inside, but the robbers followed him. Once inside, the victim’s cousin, who had heard the commotion and barking dogs, came out with a gun and shot one of the intruders. They all ran, and one of them dropped a handgun in the process. Another person present in the house picked up the discarded weapon and opened fire on the robbers as well. The wounded robber was found in a vacant lot adjacent to the house. A mask was found nearby. He refused to provide police with any personal information, and was transported to the hospital in critical condition. CS Give anonymous crime tips to Crimestoppers at 234-2020

Is it really possible to purchase a lord, laird, or lady title online? As I understand it, some websites allow anyone to buy a square foot of land in Scotland for a relatively small amount. As the purchaser now technically owns land in Scotland, they now can use “Lord,” “Laird,” or “Lady” in front of their name, even if they have never set foot in the UK. How official and/or legal is this? Does this mean any Scottish homeowner is in fact a lord? Do you really own an actual square foot of land in Scotland? —Robert D. Mailer, the Once and Future Lord This is so pathetic. You’re from America, Robert. Land of the free, home of the brave! A land where, in 1810, a proposed constitutional amendment would have revoked the U.S. citizenship of any social parasite accepting a title of nobility from a foreign power. It wasn’t ratified, although I see the Iowa Republican party has been plumping for it, apparently in a moronic bid to embarrass President Obama for accepting his Nobel Peace Prize. This means I can’t pass your name on to the FBI with a request to have you flogged. However, if the Iowa Republicans ever take over, just wait. So what? you say. I pine for that title. Very well, I’ll tell you how to get one. However, I warn you, it’s going to take more than sending £30 to some scammer in the UK. About those scammers. The pitch is so transparent you have to laugh. As you say, these people offer to sell you a square foot of land in Scotland. The logic then proceeds as follows: • Traditionally, the term for a landowner in Scotland—any landowner in Scotland—is laird. • Etymologically, laird is equivalent to lord. • Historically, the spouse of a lord is a lady. That’s it. Honestly. Now to your questions:

By cecil adams

news & Opinion

If I pay the £30, can I use the title “Lord,” “Laird,” or “Lady”? Of course. While you’re at it, you can also style yourself the Duchess of Windsor, Pluto the Wonder Dog, and Emperor of the Sun. It’s not like the Scottish nobility police are going to come over and bust you. By the way, just so you understand what motivates the people offering this fabulous deal: Farmland in Scotland currently sells for about $6,500 per acre. £30 per square foot works out to $2.1 million per acre. How official is this? It isn’t. It’s utterly and indefeasibly lacking in officialness. A plastic sheriff ’s badge that comes in a box of cornflakes is more official. I hope I’m making myself clear. Will I actually own a square foot of land in Scotland? A contract’s a contract, so if we assume the best, technically you will. However, according to the Court of the Lord Lyon, which is responsible for administering heraldic arms in Scotland, these minuscule land sales aren’t legally recorded. So while you may be a Scottish landowner, the only ones who’ll know will be you, the party that sold you your mini-barony, and whoever you tell. If that’s worth £30 to you, be my guest. For the sake of argument, though, let’s assume you’re not a chrome-plated dumbass and you want a genuine title in the UK. You’ve got two choices. First, a feudal Scottish title, a handful of which come on the market each year. In 2003 the Barony of MacDonald, which included the ruins of a castle and four acres of land on the Isle of Skye, was sold for a reported £750,000. Thanks to a change in the law in 2004, you can now buy a Scottish title without having to own Scottish land, making nobility more affordable. As I write, two titles are on offer at, one of the few legitimate dealers: the baronies of Seabegs and Denny. Either will set you back about $106,000, not including legal fees and other costs. What does that get you? (1) A coat of arms, (2) a title, and (3) whatever warm glow derives from having (1) and (2). The second option is more involved. The UK grants nonhereditary titles known as life peerages. Mostly these go to politicians, judges, and so on, but it’s possible to get one purely by reason of civic virtue. This in my opinion is a much better system than buying or for that matter inheriting a title. You want recognition and respect? No problem, amigo. Just make the world a better place. CS


Savannah’s historic riverfront will be celebrating American patriotism all weekend with featured regional artisans, entertainment including 116th Army Bands Thursday and Friday, contests, games, food, Bull’s Eye BBQ sampling on Saturday , Air National Guard’s ‘Rise to the Challenge’ Tour, Blood Alliance Blood Drive Sat. & Sun. 10-2 in Morrell Park, Verizon Fun Zone and tons more of free family fun all weekend! Celebrate American Independence on the riverfront! ENTERTAINMENT Thurs. June 30 116th Army Bands : Brass Plus, Black Sheep, Camouflage 7pm Friday, July 1 116th Army Bands : Brass Plus, Black Sheep, Camouflage 7pm

Saturday, July 3rd Permanent Tourists 8pm Monday, July 4th Super-Funky King Vega 8pm CONTESTS Ruth’s Chris Slider Eating Contest Saturday : 3pm Savannah’s Candy Kitchen Coke Float Eating Contest Monday : 6pm The region’s biggest and best fireworks spectacular will light up the skies on July 4th around 9:15! The fireworks are set to patriotic music that will be broadcast live on 97.3 KISS FM, 98.7 The RIVER and News Radio 1290 WTKS, so bring your radios tuned in and turned up! Make it a FUN & safe WEEKEND!

Save this number & call Tow-to-Go at 1.800.222.4357 (800.AAA.HELP)


slug signorino

the straight dope

news & Opinion JUNE 29-JULY 5, 2011 | WWW.CONNECTSAVANNAH.COM


news of the weird Lead Story

Somehow, upscale restaurateurs believe that diners will soon willingly pay more for a beef dish if it comes with disclosure of the DNA of the actual cow being eaten, according to a May Associated Press report. “People want to know where their food is coming from,” said one excited chef, lauding the knowledge to be gleaned from a calf ’s upbringing. (A more practical beef-supply executive added that DNA can help identify the “multiple animals” whose parts were used in hunks of ground beef - a 10-pound package of which may include contributions from “hundreds” of different cows.)

Can’t Possibly Be True

• It was not difficult to find critics when the Orlando-area government job-service engine Workforce Central Florida said it was spending more than $70,000 of federal stimulus money to help the laid-off by handing out 6,000 satiny capes for jobless “superheroes” to “fight” “Dr. Evil Unemployment.” (“Absolutely absurd” was the reaction of a laid-off customer-service representative.) Several critics interviewed by the Orlando Sentinel noted that such an awkward program further erodes the unemployed’s fragile self-respect. WCF, though, remained convinced. In the words of a spokeswoman, “Everyone is a superhero in the fight against unemployment.” • Urban Legend Come to Life: Toogood-to-be-true stories have circulated for years about men who accidentally fell, posterior first, onto compressed-air nozzles and self-inflated to resemble “dough

boys,” usually with fatal results. However, News That Sounds Like a in May in Opotiki, New Zealand, trucker Joke Steven McCormack found himself in (1) Nightclub singer Simon Ledger was similar circumstances, and had it not arrested following a performance at the been for quick-thinking colleagues who Driftwood Beach Bar on Britain’s Isle of pulled him away, he would have been Wight in April after a patron complained killed - as the air, puncturing a buttock, to police. Ledger was covering the 1974 had already begun separating tissue from hit “Kung Fu Fighting,” and two custommuscle. McCormack was hospitalized in ers of Chinese descent reported that they severe pain, but the air gradually seeped felt victims of illegal “racially aggravated from his body (according to a doctor, in harassment.” (2) Leslie Clarke, 29, the way air “usually” seeps from a body). turned himself in to police in • Oops! Oswind David was Darwin, Australia, in May after convicted of “first-degree assault” in authorities released surveila 2006 trial in New York City, but Have A unknown to him, his lawyer and the Happy & Safe lance tape of a break-in and vandalism at the Hidden Valley 4th of July judge, the charge had already been Tavern. Clarke, a large man, dismissed by another judge due confessed to going on a to prosecutorial error. Nonethedrunken prowl with friends, less, David has been in prison but said he remembered the since his conviction, serving a break-in only when he saw the 23-year term, and was freed only in video and recognized his image May when the error came to light. from the back, including several (However, the New York City district inches of his butt crack. attorney still resisted releasing David, arguing that only the “first-degree” Inexplicable part had been dismissed. A judge (1) An April Associated Press finally freed David on bail while prosstory, citing federal government sources, ecutors ponder reopening the case.) reported that 247 people on the terrorist • Parents were puzzled in June after “watch list” were nonetheless legally perDry Creek School District in Roseville, mitted to purchase guns in 2010 - about Calif., passed out questionnaires asking the same number who did so legally in for biographical details of prospective stu2009. (2) In May, Oklahoma judge Susie dents, including whether or not the child Pritchett, receiving guilty pleas from a has been delivered by C-section. Parents $31 drug-deal raid in 2010 that netted told Sacramento station KOVR-TV that a mother and her two grown children, school officials were refusing to explain sentenced the mother and son to probawhy they wanted to know that. tion, but the 31-year-old daughter to 12 years in prison (just because the daughter showed “no ... remorse”).

Unclear on the Concept

In May, a federal appeals court reinstated the Americans with Disabilities Act lawsuit filed in 2007 by Darrell Miller after he was fired as a bridge maintenance worker by the Illinois Department of Transportation. Miller had been medically diagnosed with a fear of heights, and could not work on many projects, but a lower court dismissed his lawsuit, concluding that working at heights was an unavoidable condition of bridge maintenance. (The appeals court said that a jury “might” find that bridge maintenance could be done in “teams” with one worker always on the ground.)

The Redneck Chronicles

(1) Zachary Woody, 21, of Calhoun, Ga., was charged with aggravated assault in May after stabbing a friend. Allegedly, Woody had escalated what was initially just a fistfight over whether Fords are better than Chevrolets. (2) Joseph Hayes, 48, was arrested in South Memphis, Tenn., in June after allegedly threatening (with a gun in his waistband) the hostess of a birthday party to which his kids had been invited but which ran out of cake and ice cream. “Y’all didn’t save my kids no damn ice cream and cake,” he was heard to say, and “I ain’t scared to go to jail.”

People With Issues

Stanley Thornton Jr., 30, and his “nurse”-roommate, Sandra Dias, featured By chuck shepherd UNIVERSAL PRESS SYNDICATE


Lawrence Bottone, 52, of Stamford, Conn., served four years in prison in the late 1990s for his fondness for attracting and convincing teenage boys and young men to strip down to underwear and allow him to torture (and photograph) them - chaining them to his garage wall, whipping them and inserting stakes under their fingernails. In May 2011, police in Westchester County, N.Y., arrested Bottone for what appears to signal a return to his specialty but with an updated, 21st-century rationale: Now, according to police, he “recruits” young men to work at a fictitious “intelligence agency” - which requires Bottone to “train” them to withstand torture.

Brave Nude World

Nakedness Recently in the News: (1) Just after Clayton County, Ga., schoolteacher Harlan Porter was told his contract would not be renewed, he walked naked through the school hallways (no students were present) and spoke of a “newer level of enlightenment” now

that his “third eye was open” (April). (2) After a clothing malfunction, veteran marathoner Brett Henderson, 35, decided during the Flying Pig race in Cincinnati that, since marathoners sometimes run naked in California, he could do it there. Henderson outran police and stopped only when he was Tasered (May).


A News of the Weird Classic (January 1994) In December (1993), a New York appeals court rejected Edna Hobbs’ lawsuit against the company that makes the device called The Clapper. Hobbs claimed she hurt her hands because she had to clap too hard in order to turn her appliances on: “I couldn’t peel potatoes (when my hands hurt). I never ate so many baked potatoes in my life. I was in pain.” However, the judge said Hobbs had merely failed to adjust the sensitivity controls. CS

“The Sweet Potato Encrusted Grouper over baby spinach was delightful” —Gail R., Tybee Island, GA


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on a May edition of the TV show Taboo (National Geographic Channel), are both drawing federal Supplemental Security Income as disabled persons, even though Thornton builds his own “adult baby” furniture (cribs and high chairs large enough to accommodate his 350-pound body) and operates a website where people living as adult babies can communicate. U.S. Sen. Tom Coburn asked the Social Security Administration to investigate whether Thornton is abusing the system (and Dias, too, since if she can “nurse” Thornton, she can “nurse” for a living). Thornton subsequently told the Washington Times that if his SSI checks were discontinued, he would kill himself.

news & Opinion

WEIRD | continued from previous page






by bill deyoung |

PGA Music


At 9 p.m. Friday, July 1 Live Wire Music Hall, 307 W. River St. $8 It’s kind of hard to figure out whether Robert Anthony (Maurice Eloise) and Elliott Ives (Lord Treadwell) are taking hip hop into uncharted territory, or simply making clever fun of it. Crunk – dominated by slow, pulsing mechanical drum beats, heavy stabs of distorted bass and hypnotic wordplay – originated in Memphis, which is where Lord T & Eloise come from. Their music is pure dirty south, the words are often extremely witty, and the thing is, well, Lord T and Eloise are really funny. The shtick is this: They present themselves as some sort of historical dandies. Literally. Treadwell wears a white French aristocrat wig – think Louis VXI – and a nobleman’s robes. His face is usually painted a ghostly white. The similarly–robed Eloise (sometimes he wears a tuxedo) has gold– painted skin and sports what look like curlers in his hair. “The album,” Flagpole said of the duo’s 2007 debut, “comes out sounding a lot like the Beastie Boys on some very expensive drugs.” Our guys call it “aristocrunk.” The two and their crew have a new one out, Rapocalypse, which they’ve conveniently described as “a twenty–three track magnum opus of their experiences with time travel, (which) harbors messages of what is in store for humanity.” Personal message from Lord T & E: “Savannah, ready thyself for a debauchery on par with the culture of the city!” Check out the hilarious video for the Rapocalypse song “Easy” on the Lord T and Eloise Facebook page. See


Krispijn Larrison

sound board

With Dope Sandwich, KidSyc@Brandywine At 10 p.m. Friday, July 1 Wormhole Bar, 2307 Bull St. $15/adv, $20/door Hip hop isn’t a genre known particularly for longevity, but Kool Keith is an exception to that rule, and just about every other rule, for that matter. The Bronx, N.Y. native took his first steps toward legend status as a member of the Ultramagnetic MCs, whose record Critical Beatdown in 1988 was highly influential for its creative sampling and underground sensibilities. Flying solo during most of the ‘90s, Keith became known for being a lot of other people, taking on a laundry list of aliases over the years, including Dr. Octagon, Black Elvis, Dr. Dooom, Mr. Gerbik, Willie Biggs, and numerous others. The free–flowing MC was as loose with styles as he with names – penning records that touched on sci–fi, horror–core and plenty of sex. The new millennium hasn’t slowed him down either. He’s put out more than a dozen albums in the last five years, collaborating with old favorites like Kutmasta Kurt and newcomers like LA’s Yeti Beats, among others. What hasn’t changed is his one–of–a–kind delivery that’s part stream of consciousness and part pimp strut. For Friday’s gig at the Wormhole, Kool Keith headlines a bill with local hip hop nobility Dope Sandwich and KidSyc@Brandywine. See (Patrick Rodgers) CS

SEND IN YOUR STUFF! Club owners and performers: Soundboard is a free service - to be included, please send your live music information weekly to Questions? Call (912) 721-4385.



Club One Jay Brannan (Live Music) 10 p.m. Jazz’d Tapas Bar Eddie Wilson (Live Music) Live Wire Music Hall Jam Night w/Eric Culberson (Live Music) Retro on Congress Nathan & Friends (Live Music) Savannah Smiles Dueling Pianos (Live Music) 8 p.m. Seventeen South Nite Club Open Mic Night (Live Music) Tantra Open Mic Night (Live Music) Warehouse Eric Britt (Live Music) Wild Wing Cafe Jeff Beasley (Live Music) 6 p.m. KARAOKE King’s Inn Karaoke Lucky’s Tavern (Pooler) Karaoke McDonough’s Karaoke TRIVIA, DJ Doubles Live DJ Hang Fire Trivia Night Jinx Rock ‘n’ Roll Bingo



Fannie’s on the Beach Red Clay Halo Jazz’d Tapas Bar Trae Gurley (Live Music) Live Wire Music Hall The

continues from p.16 Royal Noise (Live Music) Molly MacPherson’s Scottish Pub Open Mic w/ Markus (Live Music) Retro on Congress Josh Maul Band (Live Music) Rock House (Tybee) Brokn Tyme (Live Music) Savannah Smiles Dueling Pianos (Live Music) 8 p.m. Second Line Greg Williams (Live Music) Warehouse Cameron Jones (Live Music) Wild Wing Cafe Mary Davis Group, Danielle Hicks Band (Live Music) Wormhole Ceschi Ramos and Louis Logic (Live Music) KARAOKE Lucky’s Tavern (Pooler) Karaoke McDonough’s Karaoke DJ, TRIVIA Doubles Live DJ Pour Larry’s Live DJ Tybee Island Social Club Trivia Night



Billy’s Place Chris Chandler (Live Music) Piano & vocals 6:30 p.m. Broughton & Bull Gail

KARAOKE Jinx Karaoke King’s Inn Karaoke Lucky’s Tavern (Pooler) Karaoke McDonough’s Karaoke Peg Leg Pete’s Karaoke DJ Doubles Live DJ Rock House (Tybee) DJ Extreme



Billy’s Place Chris Chandler (Live Music) Piano & vocals 6:30 p.m. Broughton & Bull Gail Thurmond (Live Music) Piano & vocals 7 p.m. Coach’s Corner Mighty McFly (Live Music) CoCo’s Sunset Grille Stewart & Winfield (Live Music) Driftaway Cafe Red Clay Halo (Live Music) Fiddler’s Jubal Kane (Live Music) Huc-a-Poos The Royal Noise (Live Music) Jazz’d Tapas Bar The Fundamentals (Live Music) Jinx Whiskey Dick, Damon & the Shitkickers (Live Music) Live Wire Music Hall Train Wrecks (Live Music) Loco’s Grill & Pub Machine Funk (Live Music) Widespread Panic tribute band North Beach Grill Soap (Live Music) Pour Larry’s Cee Cee and the Creeps (Live Music) Rock House (Tybee) Almost Kings. Electric Park (Live Music) Savannah Smiles Dueling continues on p. 21







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Thurmond (Live Music) Piano & vocals 7 p.m. Coach’s Corner Chief, G.E. Perry (Live Music) Driftaway Cafe Stewart & Winfield (Live Music) Fiddler’s Jubal Kane (Live Music) First Friday for Folk Music Savannah Folk Music Society: (Live Music) Silverbird Duo, Goddy Shake at First Presbyterian Church 7:30 p.m. Jazz’d Tapas Bar Bottles & Cans (Live Music) Kasey’s Gourmet Grille Greg & Dan (Live Music) 7 p.m. Live Wire Music Hall Lord T & Eloise (Live Music) 9 p.m. North Beach Grill Train Wrecks (Live Music) O’Connell’s Pub Butch Hooper (Live Music) Irish music 8:30 p.m. Pour Larry’s Big Money Band (Live Music) Followed by DJ Retro on Congress Voodoo Soup (Live Music) Savannah Smiles Dueling Pianos (Live Music) 8 p.m. Tantra Anyone’s Ghost, Free Candy, Bad Justice (Live Music) Topsail (Tybee) Jon Lee & the Canebakes (Live Music) Tubby’s Tank House (Thunderbolt) Red Clay Halo (Live Music) Warehouse Scott Frier Band (Live Music) Wild Wing Cafe Thomas Claxton, Hazzard County, Electric Boogaloo (Live Music) Wormhole Kool Keith, KidSyc@Brandywine, Dope Sandwich (Live Music) 10 p.m.


sound board


continues from p.17


Pianos (Live Music) 8 p.m. Tybee Island Social Club Bottles & Cans (Live Music) Warehouse Moonshine Homies (Live Music) Wild Wing Cafe Bucky & Jason, Rhythm Riot, Tokyo Joe (Live Music) KARAOKE King’s Inn Karaoke Lucky’s Tavern (Pooler) Karaoke McDonough’s Karaoke Peg Leg Pete’s Karaoke DJ, OTHER STUFF Rogue Water Live DJ Wormhole Comedian Tony Boswell Tantra Bellydance Night

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Singer/songwriter Jay Brannan, from the John Cameron Mitchell film Shortbus, is in concert Wednesday, June 29 at Club One. Tickets for the 10 p.m. performance are $15 advance, $18 at the door. With Cairo on the Coast, Riot Hooping, FireBelly, Raluca & Yasmina


continues on p. 22




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Service induStry night

w/ dJ Lucky BaStard drink SpeciaLS for reStaurant & Bar empLoyeeS tuesday july 5

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continues from p.21



Congress Street Social Club Voodoo Soup (Live Music) Huc-a-Poos Bottles & Cans (Live Music) Isaac’s on Drayton Silver Lining Duo (Live Music) Jazz brunch 11 a.m.-2 p.m. Jazz’d Tapas Bar Trae & James (Live Music) Loco’s Grill & Pub Brock Butler (Live Music) The Veraflames play at 6 p.m. North Beach Grill The Accomplices (Live Music) 5 p.m. Warehouse Thomas Clax-

ton (Live Music) Wild Wing Cafe Bucky & Barry, The Design, Steppin Stones (Live Music) KARAOKE McDonough’s Karaoke Rock House (Tybee) Karaoke TRIVIA Murphy’s Law Irish Pub Trivia Night



City Market Markus Kuhlmann (Live Music) 6 p.m. Live Wire Music Hall TBA (Live Music) Blues Loco’s Grill & Pub Brock Butler (Live Music) Rock House (Tybee) KidSyc @Brandywine (Live Music) 9 p.m. Wild Wing Cafe Eric Britt, Bucky & Barry (Live Music)

KARAOKE, DJ Tantra Karaoke Jinx Lucky Bastard (DJ) King’s Inn Karaoke McDonough’s Karaoke



Crypt Pub Trivia Night Jazz’d Tapas Bar Lee Post (Live Music) Jinx Hip Hop Night (Live Music, DJ) Lulu’s Chocolate Bar Bill DeYoung & Friends (Live Music) 8 p.m. McDonough’s Karaoke Mellow Mushroom Trivia Night Robin’s Nest Karaoke Seventeen South Nite Club Karaoke Wild Wing Cafe Chuck Courtenay (Live Music) Wormhole Nemesis (Live Music) CS

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Preaching the gospel of America




Equinox Jazz Orchestra vocalist Clay Johnson has two careers by Bill DeYoung |

Clay Johnson has been a resident of the Savannah area since 2008.

Granted, there’s a considerable gap between the Good Book and the Rat Pack, but Clay Johnson has been able to bridge it with ease and grace. Johnson, who preaches at Parkway Church of Christ, is also the lead singer of the Equinox Jazz Orchestra, Savannah’s professional purveyors of big band, and swing, and Sinatra–style ring–a–ding. These, the 35–year–old Johnson believes, are his twin callings (well, if you ask his wife Kayla, they’re two of his three callings). The 20–member ensemble’s sixth annual Independence Day concert, Savannah Swings, takes place Monday at the Savannah Theatre. A portion of the proceeds will go to benefit the next phase of Savannah’s WWII monument on River Street. Johnson’s longtime best buddy is Jeremy Davis, the saxophonist who put Equinox together in 2005. They both hail from West Monroe, La. “We met in the 7th grade,” Johnson laughs. “Our moms made us be friends, and study and do projects together and all that kind of stuff. Neither one of us were crazy about it.” Ah, but they were both horn players (Johnson is also an accomplished trombonist), and they bonded over music, eventually playing together in school bands and in a funk/rock group. At Louisiana Tech, they were both accepted into the Jazz Band and performed at the New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival. At this early stage, however, Johnson wasn’t entirely sure what he wanted. “In college, I couldn’t decide,” he says. “I had five different majors. It was

pathetic – engineering, architecture, all that stuff, until I realized that I sucked at math. So I had to do something different.” He studied literature and English, vaguely thinking he might become a teacher. Finally, he recalls, “They gave me a general studies degree, put a cap on me and sent me on my way.” Along with the band work he was doing with Davis, Johnson – the son of a preacher – paid his way through school by sermonizing in Louisiana, Arkansas and Oklahoma. “I was going around to all these country churches and preaching, but I was also playing this funk music and doing the whole jazz scene,” he says. Music had always played an important role in his life. His grandfather had been a member of the Stamps–Baxter Quartet, a famous touring gospel group. Both his mother and father were gospel singers, too, and often brought little Clay onstage during performances. Still, he spent a decade, post–college, preaching and performing missionary work. In 1997, an acquaintance invited Johnson to spend a summer in the Savannah area, holding revivals and youth rallies, and preaching in local churches. Eventually he and Kayla began spend-

ing a year at a stretch in the city. This is when Jeremy Davis re–enters the picture. During one of those summers, both old friends and their wives stayed in town, and enjoyed themselves so much that Davis began talking about moving to Savannah. “That boy had never lived more than 30 miles out of his hometown in his whole life,” Johnson remembers. “I told him ‘I promise you, if you ever move to Georgia, I’ll move to Georgia. That’s how sure I am you’ll never do it.’” Davis, of course, promptly packed up and moved. It took a few years, but the Johnsons, with their two kids in tow, finally followed their friends to the Hostess City. It was 2008, and Davis’ bold experiment – creating a classic–looking and –sounding big band, playing songs from the Great American Songbook and blending them with fresh arrangements, was paying off. “Everything he touches turns to gold,” Johnson marvels. “He came out here and put the orchestra together right away, got it going and started impressing everybody. “He would call me to come and sing, and when I was here, some of the church members I knew would come and see me and say ‘Come and preach for us when you’re in town.’ One thing led to another.” Savannah Swings includes the stuff that Equinox has made its name on – classic swing tunes, jazz and R&B, with Johnson sharing vocal duties with Adam Jones (and, on a few select numbers, Huxsie Scott). This particular

show puts a special emphasis on patriotic songs, too. Davis and Johnson work it all out with arranger Hoppy Hallman. “Our basic mission is to take these old, beautiful songs – some of the greatest songs that were ever written – and have Hoppy arrange them in a still–classic style,” Davis says. “But fresh and hip so it doesn’t sound dated. And that’s difficult to do.” Although he’s poised and confident in his onstage role as the finger–snapping crooner, Johnson admits he arrived a little late to the party when it came to classic Americana. “I did not grow up learning this stuff,” he says. “It was southern gospel, country and western, that was it for me. “Jeremy asked me to learn ‘Luck Be a Lady,’ but I’d never heard it before. I got it and it really grew on me, so I started buying Sinatra albums, or just downloading them, and started getting all this Sinatra wealth, and Dean Martin wealth, and Tony Bennett wealth. “And man, I’m loving this stuff. I want to sing it! Not only do I want to sing it, I want to put my own spin on it. Put my own personality into it. It seems so natural to me.” CS Equinox Jazz Orchestra Savannah Swings/Patriotic Big Band Salute Where: Savannah Theatre, 222 Bull St. When: At 6 p.m. Monday, July 4 Tickets: $35; age 17 and under $16 Online:

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Zac Brown and Fantasia perform at the free July 4 event at Fort Stewart.

The rockets’ red glare Where to find fireworks and other fun stuff for Independence Day weekend by Bill DeYoung |

G N I Members of the Equinox Jazz Orchestra will be on River Street Monday, N after their N Ecity’s show at the Savannah Theatre, to provide the patriotic soundtrack to the over– O P O the–river fireworks. O S

And that Sousa us fine. You can expect to find the whole River Street/Rousakis Plaza stretch in full celebratory mode all weekend long, with live music, arts and crafts, games for kids and assorted Independence Day ephemera. It’s called The Great American Weekend, and the capper is the Monday–night pyrotechnical display; festivities begin with Equinox at 8 p.m. See Elsewhere on the Indy Day front: • Hunter Army Airfield: Saturday (July 2) is the “Worth Fighting For” family day celebration, which is open to the public. Things (games, rides, music, the whole deal) get started at 4 p.m., and there’ll be fireworks in the sky around 9:30. • “Richmond Hill Salutes the Red, White & Blue” begins at 5 p.m. Saturday in J.F. Gregory Park. Formerly the annual fundraiser for the Richmond Hill Recreation Association, this one is city–sponsored and features the Paris Luna Band, followed by a fireworks display. • In Armstrong Atlantic State University’s Fine Art Auditorium, the Savannah Winds Patriotic Concert begins at 3 p.m. Sunday. Tickets are $12 advance, $14 at the door. Call (912) 344–2556. • Tybee Island: Finding a place to park might be tricky, but the Fireworks on the Pier display is always a big bang of a nighttime show. Expect the first blast around 9:15 p.m. Sunday. • Fort Stewart: The Zac Brown Band and American Idol winner Fantasia (Barrino) perform on Donovan Field at the close of Monday’s Independence Day festivities. The 6 p.m. concert (yes, it’s open to non–military) is free; fireworks to follow! • No fireworks here, but it’s a family–styled event we thought you might want to know about. At 9 a.m. Monday, the Railroad Museum (601 W. Harris St.) kicks off a July 4th celebration that includes a reading of the Declaration of Independence, a primer on the 1779 Battle of Savannah and more. The event continues through 5 p.m. (regular admission charged). For details, go to, or call (912) 651–6840. • Some folks on the coast here get a thrill from the pyrotechnical show up Hilton Head Island way – yes, Shelter Cove (at the Palmetto Dunes Resort) does a regular fireworks show every Tuesday night. This year, it’s been switched to Monday, the real, actual Fourth of July. CS


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Music Reviews

Re-evaluating 1980’s wonderfully wacky McCartney II


by Bill DeYoung |



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How popular music has changed. When Paul McCartney released the McCartney II album, in the summer of 1980, it was reviewed as the weakest and most self–indulgent record he’d ever made.

could help himself – but every note “Computer Love” by a year). of the otherwordly music is played “Check My Machine” (issued in on a mellotron, one of music’s first ’81 as a B–side and included here on “artificial” keyboards. Like the Beatles the bonus disc) is just what the name classic “Strawberry implies – it was the first Fields Forever,” the track recorded. For five mellotron here is on minutes, McCartney the “flute” setting, sings the title phrase, which gives the song along with some clearly a melancholy, almost made–up–on–the–spot funereal air. lyrics, over a bizarre but “Coming Up,” insanely catchy techno– And that, considering the always– which simultaneously reggae shuffle. prodigious ex–Beatle’s output, was became a No. 1 hit in “Bogey Music” is truly saying a lot. a live, Wings version odd – it’s another nonRemastered and reissued this month, issued consecutivelysensical lyric, with tribal and retro–fitted with a second CD’s with this album, is a drumming, synthesized worth of session outtakes, McCartney skittery dance tune. horns and electric guitar McCartney II was so named beII can now be taken out of its original McCartney plays cause 1970’s McCartney was also that sounds as if it’s playcontext and appreciated for what it is: standard guitar, bass a strictly one-man show. But the ing in an entirely different An experimental record, full of fun, and drums, but adds similarities end there. key. with unexpected left turns and delightcomputer–generated Some of the most fully bizarre little excursions. horns (which sound more like a chorus engaging songs are on the second disc. And, perhaps most significantly, of alien kazoos), and sped–up backAt 10:30, “Secret Friend” is the longest decades ahead of its time. ground vocals. track by far, but it’s a deeply hypnotic McCartney made the record at The meat of the album, though, is the (and melodic) journey into the heart of home in ‘79, playing every instrument electronic stuff. “Temporary Secretary” Latin exotica – the synths and elechimself and singing every vocal. He’d bips and bops at a furious pace, the tronic rhythms beautifully balanced just bought some new toys, including a syncopated synthesizer burping and with castanets, maracas and spooky 16-track recording deck, a bank of synsquawking a simple mechanical pattern little artificially–produced mambo horn thesizers and a curious machine called over a ruthless drum machine, and unlines. a sequencer, which allowed strings of der McCartney’s almost For what it’s worth, “Wonderful computer–generated atonal vocal lines. Christmastime,” cut at the sessions, is musical notes to be It’s a throbber. In included as well. programmed and 1980, when somebody On “All You Horseriders,” “Mr. H. played back in cuswanted to tell you that Atom” and “You Know I’ll Get You tom–made loops. McCartney II was a Baby,” McCartney indulges his love for It seems McCartney torturous listen, “Temfunny voices and nonsense lyrics – you was making elecporary Secretary” was can tell he’s just having a blast in his tronica long before the inevitably the song they home studio, making stuff up. “Bogey word had been coined. mentioned. Wobble” is pure synth–disco – lustrous, So many British artists Twenty years on, as joyful and utterly without any point – from Radiohead to the electronica moveother than making the listener smile. Gorillaz – clearly took ment flourished, it Had he released it under a pseudnotice of this album. became an enormous onym, as he did later for his experiMcCartney consists of “normal” McCartney II has popular hit amongst mental collaborations with Youth (as songs like “Maybe I’m Amazed.” trendy London clubs a couple of reasonThe Fireman) or DJ Hellraiser (as Twin It has also been remastered with ably straightforward, DJs. Freaks), McCartney might have escaped a number of bonus tracks. “pop”–type songs, There are several the venomous reception McCartney II “Waterfalls” and “One instrumentals on McCartney II, all received. of These Days,” both of which would of them performed on some sort of But this was a Paul McCartney have fit onto any late–period Wings synthesizer (with the added acoustic album. So there was never the slightest album (the band officially dissolved guitar or standard drum track here and chance McCartney II could have flown shortly after this record’s release). there). “Front Parlour” and “Frozen in under the radar. “Summer’s Day Song,” too, has a Jap” feature delightfully catchy melodies After three decades, however, its gorgeous melody – McCartney never (the latter presaged Kraftwerk’s similar charms are easily appreciable. CS

comedy Laugh lines




Comedian Tony Boswell takes the funny stuff seriously by Bill DeYoung |

When Tony Boswell talks about riding a Greyhound bus, you can tell he’s been on one, and probably more than once. “If you ever find yourself in the situation where you have to take the bus, here’s my advice,” the standup comedian says in his act. “Before you get on that bus, re–evaluate every major life decision that brought you to that point – and then stab yourself in the eye with a fork. “And then you’ll find that you fit in much better with the other people who are already on the bus.” Boswell who’ll deliver the laughs at two shows this weekend in the Wormhole’s Comedy Vortex series, follows this with a string of deadpan observations that close the deal on the road–coach experience. Not to give it all away, but he follows with “Here are some things you’ll never hear on a Greyhound bus: “ ‘Can I read the financial section when you’re done?’ ‘Pardon me, sir, can you break a fifty?’ ‘Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?’ “No, you’re going to hear things like: ‘Are you gonna eat that?’” With 25 years as a professional comic, and more than 3,000 shows under his belt, Boswell has a natural, conversational stage presence, and the enviable ability to make you believe that everything he talks about has actually happened to him at one time or another. He called us from the road – he was driving through Florida in his trusty 1993 Fort Escort. So, the life of a road comic must be pretty tough, huh? Tony Boswell: First of all, you’re your own boss. You’re not in the same place every day. I know some guys burn out on it. There’s certainly times when I wouldn’t mind being at home, but I still enjoy getting out on the road. I guess it suits me. You’re driving as we chat right now, but do you fly to shows a lot? Tony Boswell: Yeah. I guess it depends on where it’s at. If it’s within a comfortable drive, a day’s drive, I’ll do that. If it’s more, I’ll fly. Ever now and again, you’re in a place where an airplane just doesn’t go. Those smaller markets. But I would avoid the bus at all costs now. Were you always funny? A funny kid? Tony Boswell: I started right after the comedy boom. When I was a kid, there was not this comedy club circuit. Steve Martin kind of came along and that exploded everything. But as a kid, I memorized Monty Python sketches, and George Carlin albums, and lived for Saturday Night Live every week. It wasn’t until the ‘80s that I realized it was even something you could make a living at. Once I did it for fun, the first time, I was hooked and there’s been no looking back since then.


Tony Boswell: When I was going to school, and hating what I was going to school for, my friends were all taking classes at Second City. I was watching and hanging out there so much they said “They’re paying for this – you can’t hang out and watch any more.” Improv was the first year or so, and then I started doing open mics as a solo act. Improv is a terrifying prospect to me. Isn’t it like jumping off a cliff and hoping there’s a trampoline down there? Tony Boswell: I think there’s so much bad improv; the really good ones are few and far between. But when you see really good improv, it’s like “Wow, that was amazing.” My roommates in Chicago were the founders of the Upright Citizens Brigade; they’re one of the premier improv groups. Did you suck when you started? Tony Boswell: Of course! Everybody does at improv. But when I approached standup I was really methodical. I knew I was gonna do it and I took a long time writing my first set. Re–writing it, and

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As a kid, I memorized Monty Python sketches, and George Carlin albums, and lived for Saturday Night Live every week. It wasn’t until the ‘80s that I realized it was even something you could make a living at. Once I did it for fun, the first time, I was hooked and there’s been no looking back since then. editing it, and going and watching the open mics. Making sure that I wasn’t repeating anything that other people were doing at the time. So I was really prepared the first time.

I didn’t just jump in. You know, you see a lot of guys go to open mics because their friends at work told them they were funny. And they don’t take the time to write jokes. They just up and say “Hey, how about that airline food. Pretty bad, huh?” And they wonder why they don’t get any laughs. I’m writing all the time. I write what’s funny to me. If I believe in it, then it’s almost always gonna be successful. In one bit, you tell the audience about your some of your experiences with alcoholism. Is that a true story? Tony Boswell: It’s all true. I re–wrote my act entirely four and a half years ago when I got sober. It’s not preachy – I don’t want people to think it’s going to be some 12–step show. It’s only a small part of my act, how it affected me. But it definitely made me more dedicated to writing, and being good. CS Tony Boswell Where: Wormhole Bar, 2307 Bull St. When: At 8:30 and 11 p.m. Saturday, July 2 Tickets: $15 (early show), $10 (late show) Online:

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comedy | continued from previous page

Savannah foodie


by tim rutherford |





’Cue up your options If you’re not a grill geek like I am, one of the worst ways to spend a long July 4th weekend is slaving over a stack of charcoal briquets. The solution? Gt you order in early from one of the areas BBQ restaurants.. There’s one near you for sure — here are some choices: Wiley’s Championship BBQ:

A wall of hardware reinforces the “championship” part of the name –– the tender beef brisket proves it. Juicy pulled pork, spectacular ribs. 4700 US Highway 80 East (Whitemarsh Island)

Sandfly BBQ:

Chef Keith Latture has dialed in this little joint — which has also developed a nice ambiance. His ribs and chicken rock — pulled pork is solid! 8413 Ferguson Ave.

Gerald’s Pig & Shrimp, Tybee Island:

Island dwellers need not venture onto the mainland for their porcine fix. Longtime pitmaster Gerald Schantz smokes up a storm from his handy location on the island. I’m partial to the pulled pork. 1115 US Highway 80 East.

Papa’s BBQ & Seafood:

Another longtime Whitemarsh Island staple, this ’cue restaurant has devout followers who flock in daily fro pulled pork and ribs. 119A Charlotte Road.

Angel’s BBQ:

Don’t let this diminutive little smokehouse fool you. Chef Andy does his own style of ’cue and custom smokes ribs on order. Great hot sauces keep downtown regulars and curious tourists in a sweat! 21 W. Oglethorpe Lane.

Blowin’ Smoke BBQ:

I groove on the pulled pork and chicken –– and a comfy bar means you can hove a cold beer (or two) while waiting for your pick–up. Get plenty of jalapeno cornbread muffins to go. 514 Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd.

Wiley’s barbecue is among the best

Bluegrass BBQ:

Chef Matt Roher of Cha Bella has throw his toque in the BBQ ring with this little ’cue house in Bloomingdale, next to Randy Wood Guitars. WE haven’t had the meat yet, but Roher’s penchant for quality will no doubt shine through. 1304 US Highway 80 East.

Smoke Station:

Big old pulled pork sandwiches keep calling my name from this near Southside eatery. And, if you need to mix it up, these folks do some of the best fish in the city. 6724 Waters Ave.

Shane’s Rib Shack

is right next door to Smoke Station. This chain BBQ restaurant offers very good pulled pork and I really like their cole slaw. Ribs are consistent and chicken scores nice marks for spiciness. 6730 Waters Ave.

Johnny Harris BBQ:

You don’t last 87 years for nuthin’. Pulled pork and chicken are legendary favorites at this Savannah landmark and a huge selection of sauces offer a taste fro nearly every picky in–law. 1651 E. Victory Dr.

Barnes Restaurant and Barnes BBQ Express:

The menu is eclectic, but this long–running eatery and its new downtown Express have legions of carryout fans. Nicely smoked pulled pork, chicken with nice seasonings and consistent ribs are all “go–to” dishes. 5320 Waters Ave. and 109 Whitaker St. cs

Crush the Crusher Don Sebastiani & Sons have been stalwart producers of a large family of easily accessible and readily drinkable wines. Labels like Pepperwood Grove and Smoking Loon are marketplace staples. Now a new label joins the family –– and it’s a perfect fit with its older siblings. The Crusher debuted earlier this month with a line up of major varietals: Cabernet Sauvignon, Pinot Noir, Pinot Noir Rose, Chardonnay, Viognier, Petite Syrah and Merlot. The name, or course, refers to grape crushing, but sounds very much more like a novelty wine label than fits the juice inside these bottles. Grapes for the entire line are sourced from the Clarksburg area and come together to create wines that are welcome as everyday drinkers –– but that also match with beautifully with food. Of note among this collection, by all means try the Cabernet Sauvignon. Rich complexity, with notes of fresh coffee and dusty, sweet leather – give this wine a bold, masculine character. Balance between dark jammy fruit and dusty, earthy dryness is both alluring and satisfying. It’s pleasing to seasoned Cab drinkers –– and balanced enough to appeal to Cab newbies whose palates aren’t yet ready for a beasty Napa Cab. My penchant for Pinot Noir was seduced by the expression brought to the table by The Crusher. A dark strawberry color with a touch of translucence, this Pinot Noir is powerfully aromatic, with notes of smokiness, sassafras, dark cherry and caramelized oak. Plum and dark fruit flavors stand tall in the glass but balance jamminess against earthy notes of porcini mushroom. Love this one in the glass for a while and let it open up –– it’s an amazingly complex Pinot Noir for the price tag. The company considers The Crusher Petite Syrah to be the flagship of this line ––– and it’s easy to understand after the first few sips. Petite Syrah is typically luscious, luxurious and a velvety drape across your plate. This one is no exception. Concentrated fruit flavors of dark raspberry and juicy blackberry are well balanced by notes of brown sugar and cedar –– offshoots from aging in French oak. Coax the nuances from this glass and you’ll find secondary flavors of dark chocolate and cinnamon stick. It’s dark, decadent and divine. Each varietal drank beautifully. One exception, the Viognier, while refreshing, was too thin for my taste. It lacked the usual floral aromas and character of classic Viognier. Each label should be widely available for around $13.99 –– a real value when compared to the complexity and expressiveness of these wines. cs

by Bill DeYoung |




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MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY Actor, satirist and political commentator Harry Shearer directed The Big Uneasy

The Big Uneasy We all know Harry Shearer as the voices of C. Montgomery Burns, Waylon Smithers and Ned Flanders on The Simpsons. If there were a voice actor Hall of Fame – and for all I know, there may well be one – Shearer would be head of the class (after Mel Blanc, of course). As an actor, his most famous recurring role is as numb–nuts British bassist Derek Smalls in This is Spinal Tap; he’s also a regular player in those Christopher Guest mockumentaries – Best in Show, A Mighty Wind, For Your Consideration. Best known as a humorist, Shearer is also a biting political satirist and commentator of the highest order. His Le Show is broadcast on NPR, Sirius and other radio outlets around the country. In 2010, Shearer wrote and directed a documentary about New Orleans in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. With the help of a whistle–blower from the Army Corps of Engineers, Shearer – who hosts the film, along with John Goodman – contends that not only could the extensive 2005 damage to the city could have been prevented, “some of the same flawed methods responsible for levee failure during Hurricane Katrina are being used to rebuild the system expected to protect the ‘new’ New Orleans from future peril.” The film is called The Big Uneasy. Shearer lives in New Orleans, and he financed the project himself after no studio would go near it. Shearer’s movie suggests that the Corps knew the levee system was flawed long before Katrina, and that the U.S. government has been covering up this knowledge to ... well, you’ll just have to see it.

The Big Uneasy is coming to Savannah July 16, in a Psychotronic Film Series presentation at the Lucas Theatre. Tickets are 525–5050.

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Tybee stuff • A hearty thumbs–up to the Tybee City Council for taking $10,000 from its proposed budget for next fiscal year, beginning July 1, and giving it to the Friends of the Tybee Post Theater, which is doing so much to get the historic building restored and renovated. It was a last–minute amendment proposed by council member Shirley Sessions at last Thursday’s session, and it was approved unanimously. The theater’s restoration is an ongoing project, and it’s great to see the city getting actively involved. • In other Tybee news, we’re hearing that Molly Hatchet will return to headline the 2011 Pirate Fest, Oct. 6–9. There’s also a Journey tribute band, and the usual suspects from our best local musicians. • The Tybee Performing Arts Association returns with that old summertime favorite The Wizard of Oz July 22–31 in the Tybee Arts Center.

In the wings In theater news, two shows of note open next week: The Kander and Ebb musical Cabaret bows at Bay Street Theatre July 8, and the Masquers of Armstrong Atlantic State University debut Neil Simon’s Barefoot in the Park July 7, for one weekend only. The Drama Bums are preparing an evening of H.P. Lovecraft creepers for July 22 and 23 at Muse Arts Warehouse. CS

Movies Savannah Missed

HOw to live forever (2011, USA) In this fun and quirky documentary, middle-aged director Mark Wexler travels the world, interviewing the EXTREMELY elderly (and those desperate to cheat death), to learn how to extend and enjoy his time on earth to the fullest. Gurus, scientists, philosophers and celebrities discuss youth and aging with comic and enlightening poignancy!

ONE DAY ONLY! SHOWTIMES: 2pm, 5pm & 8pm Sunday, July 10th at Muse Arts Warehouse generously sponsored by:

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Cash for Clunkers — A ceramics exhibit by artist Julia Licht whose work is inspired by abandoned cars in grass lots. Opening reception: July 8, 5-7pm S.P.A.C.E. Gallery , 9 W. Henry St. , http://www.

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The largest selection of single malt whiskies on the East Coast! Sunday Brunch from 11am-2pm Live Music on weekends Downtown • 311 W. Congress St • 912.239.9600 Richmond Hill • 3742 S Hwy 17 • 912.459.9600

Ebb and Flow — An exhibition of photos and other historical memorabilia related to the project documenting East Savannah and the newly published book “Ebb and Flow”. Jepson Center, 207 W. York St. , http://www. savannahneighborhoods. org/ Judith Godwin: Early Abstractions — Work by Godwin from the early 1950s. Jepson Center, 207 W. York St. , Kia Ora, NZ — A collection of more than 20 collages by artist Laura Adams inspired by a recent trip to New Zealand. Runs through July 30. American Craftsman Gallery, 223 W. Broughton St., Savannah Layers — A collaborative exhibition by Derek Larson and Kyle Stavela of Addiktspace Studio. Seed Eco Lounge, 39 Montgomery St. , McCarson & Kist — A shared exhibit featuring two artists from the DC area. McCarson is a mixed media artist and Kist is an experimental painter. ThincSavannah, 35 Barnard St. 3rd Floor, http://www. Perceptions of Whiteness — A collection of new works by the National Alliance of Artists from Historically Black Colleges and Universities. Beach Institute, 502 E. Harris St. , http://www.

‘Tradition/Innovation’ at the Telfair Academy highlights regional fine arts craftspeople Portraits to Pixels — The exhibit celebrates the Telfair’s 125th anniversary; includes selections from the museum’s permanent collection. Jepson Center, 207 W. York St. , http://www. The Bird that Sings — Paul James Hampson is a Brit making his US debut with a collection of dramatic watercolor paintings. St. Paul’s Art Gallery, 1802 Abercorn

St. at 34th St. , http://www. Tradition/Innovation — A survey of tradition and originality is at the heart of this exhibit featuring a variety of crafts by Southern artists. Runs through September 6. Telfair Academy, 121 Barnard St. , http://www.

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Cars 2


Think of Pixar as a person instead of a studio. Imagine it as Clint Eastwood. Remember that middle stretch in Eastwood’s career, when he would alternate more artistic endeavors with pure popcorn flicks? One year he’s helming something as weighty as The Outlaw Josey Wales, the next he’s starring in something as blatantly stupid as The Gauntlet. One moment he’s attempting to stretch with White Hunter Black Heart, the next he’s hanging around with that idiot Charlie Sheen in The Rookie. Tom Cruise and Mel Gibson have also been allowed to follow this pendulum career path, so why not Pixar? Before Cars 2, the animation giant had released 11 feature–length tales, all but one of them considered unqualified gems that spoke to adults as much as to the kids. The exception was 2006’s Cars, which earned mostly positive notices but was dismissed as lightweight children’s fare. I would argue that it’s a bit stronger than that – its Route 66 mythology, coupled with the presence of Paul Newman in what would turn out to be his final role, lent it a nostalgic, bittersweet tinge – but when placed alongside the magnificence of, say, Up or the Toy Story trilogy, it clearly doesn’t possess the same emotional or artistic wallop. And neither does Cars 2, which will replace its predecessor as the new runt of the Pixar litter. But so what? If the Pixar gurus occasionally want to kick up their heels and make movies that offer only surface pleasures, then so be it. The only requirement should be that they entertain, which is something that Cars 2 certainly does. Adopting an international template, this

sequel finds Lightning McQueen (voiced again by Owen Wilson) invited to participate in a Grand Prix event that formally kicks off in Tokyo before moving to Europe for three separate races (Rome, Paris and London). McQueen reluctantly takes Mater (Larry the Cable Guy) with him, only to be immediately humiliated by his best buddy’s redneck behavior. But while McQueen tries to ignore these distractions and concentrate on beating his racetrack rivals, particularly a swaggering Italian auto (John Turturro), Mater gets mistaken for a brilliant secret agent by a pair of British operatives (Michael Caine as Finn McMissile and Emily Mortimer as Holley Shiftwell) trying to uncover the head of a criminal cabal. With a running time close to two hours, Cars 2 does feel protracted, especially in the sequences in which Mater frets over the fact that people – err, cars – are laughing at him rather than with him; trust me, neither kids nor adults will be particularly enthralled by witness-

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ing an existential crisis on the part of a hick tow truck. But the film gets a lot of mileage (pun intended) out of its 007–styled storyline while it remains endearing to witness familiar names refashioned in automotive lingo. As for the animation, it adheres to the studio’s usual high standards, which makes the charges of creative coasting even more ludicrous. Listening to detractors, you’d think this was from the same companies that released such animated eyesores as Hoodwinked! and the recent The Lion of Judah. But it’s from Pixar, an outfit whose vehicles – including this one – have yet to show any signs of serious tread wear.

BAD TEACHER It’s no Bad Santa, but Bad Teacher brings just enough naughty behavior to the table to make it a decent watch for viewers tired of PG–13 timidity. In her best role since 2005’s underrated In Her Shoes, Cameron Diaz plays Elizabeth Halsey, a gold–digging middle–school teacher who, having just been dumped by her wealthy fiance, sets her sights on substitute teacher Scott Delacorte (Justin Timberlake), who happens to be the heir to a watch–making dynasty. Elizabeth is manipulative, deceitful, insensitive and lazy (each class period is spent with the students watching a school–themed film like Stand and Deliver or Dangerous Minds while she tries to get over a hangover), and she’s forced to use all her cunning to dislodge Scott from the grip of a perpetually peppy teacher named Amy Squirrel (Lucy Punch). Meanwhile, nice–guy gym teacher Russell Gettis (Jason Segel) hangs around, hoping to get past Elizabeth’s obvious disinterest in him. Hollywood, which fashions itself as a bearer of moral messages, usually feels the need to take down its flawed characters before the closing credits, with the arrogant/narcissistic/self–centered protagonist miraculously transformed into a wellspring of small sacrifices and big embraces (e.g. half of Jim Carrey’s canon). To its credit, Bad Teacher doesn’t resort to such shameless pandering: Like Billy Bob Thornton’s Willie in Bad Santa, Diaz’s Elizabeth Halsey bends but doesn’t break, and the film has no need to automatically punish the wicked for their indiscretions. On the downside, the combination of a short running time, often erratic pacing, and a number of red–band–trailer moments conspicuously missing from the finished piece suggests that the stu-

dio ultimately didn’t have quite enough faith in the picture to let it all hang out. This Bad Teacher is amusing enough to earn a passing mark, but we’ll have to hope for an unrated director’s cut on DVD/Blu–ray in order to fully gauge this school project’s merit.

Green Lantern Considering all the advance negative buzz that had been building with the steadiness and scariness of a Category 5 hurricane, Green Lantern, just one of the approximately 428 superhero flicks that will be released this year alone, isn’t the catastrophe that had been all but foretold as far back as the Book of Revelations. To compare this big–budget effort to such truly abysmal efforts as Catwoman and Batman & Robin would merely be an exercise in misguided grandstanding; at the same time, the middling results suggest that, the excellence of X–Men: First Class notwithstanding, Hollywood might consider cooling it on the super–sagas for a while (fat chance) and seek inspiration from other types of comic characters. Little Lulu or Andy Capp, anyone? Actually, Steven Spielberg does have that Tintin adaptation arriving in time for Christmas, but as long as the outdoor weather calls for cold colas rather than hot cocoa, it’s the masked heroes from Marvel and DC who control the multiplexes (up next: Captain America). And when all is said and done, Green Lantern is really no different than the film which kicked off this summer season: As with Thor, this one also features slick special effects, a likable (if vanilla–flavored) leading man and effective use of 3–D, but it likewise gets bogged down in protracted exposition and has trouble sorting out its cluttered screenplay. Ryan Reynolds, flexing his puppy– dog eyes almost as much as his rock– hard pecs, stars as Hal Jordan, a test pilot who becomes the first human to become a member of the Green Lantern Corps, an intergalactic watchdog group tasked with protecting the universe. The preeminent threat at the moment is a fearsome entity known as Parallax, who preys on fear to absorb the souls of anyone around him. Other scribes have described this creature as “an alien enemy with a skull head and the body of a dryer–lint octopus” and “a composite of fecal matter with a head” while my own fiancee tagged him “the dirty dreadlocks of doom”; at any rate, Parallax is certainly an imposing villain.

(Let me put it this way: I wouldn’t want to wake up in the morning and see him hovering outside my bedroom window, sucking up neighbors’ souls left and right.) His agent of evil on earth is Hector Hammond (Peter Sarsgaard), a nerdy scientist who’s infected by Parallax and promptly becomes a telekinetic mutant with a bulbous, oozing head. Hal’s battles with Parallax and Hector are ably handled by director Martin Campbell (Casino Royale), and they allow the FX crew to show off their hard work (a few extra million bucks were poured into improving the visual effects after the initial wrap, and it shows). But whenever the movie isn’t moving at a fast and furious speed, the banality of the script (credited to four writers) takes center stage. Whether it’s Hal’s tepid romance with fellow pilot Carol Ferris (Blake not–so–Lively) or the soggy father–son dynamics between Hal and his deceased pop (Jon Tenney in flashbacks) and between Hector and his dad (an oily politician played by Tim Robbins in full shit–eating–grin mode), Green Lantern’s luster dims, and we’re left with another costume caper that doesn’t quite know what to do with itself whenever its characters aren’t playing dress–up.

MR. POPPER’S PENGUINS Aside from Tom Popper (Jim Carrey) mistakenly believing that “BFF” stands for Big Fat Friend, the only original element to be found anywhere in Mr. Popper’s Penguins is the character of Pippi, Popper’s personal assistant and a Brit prone to parleying with prose that begins with the letter “p.” The London–born actress with the terrific name of Ophelia Lovibond essays this role, and she provides a lift to every scene in which she appears. Unfortunately, she doesn’t appear nearly enough to save this ghastly family film. A bastardization of the award–winning children’s book, this finds Carrey cast as a ruthless businessman with daddy issues, spousal issues, and neglected kids issues. Mr. Popper has always placed his job above all else, but that changes after he receives a parting gift from his deceased father: Six penguins that take over his apartment and his life. Initially desperate to get rid of these creatures, he soon finds that the birds are useful in bringing him back together with his family. But what’s this? A nasty zoologist (Clark Gregg) is harassing Popper and his new friends (given names like Loudy, Bitey and Stinky), insisting that

the birds would fare better in a zoo than an apartment. The penguins seen in the picture are a mix of actual animals and CGI creations, and here’s a quick primer for those unable to tell the difference: The ones acting normal are the real birds while the ones pooping in Popper’s face or leaning over to break wind are the fake ones. Watching the real penguins, your have to feel sorry for them – in this picture, they get less respect than Rodney Dangerfield. Still, they fare better than Carrey, who’s only allowed to try something new a couple of times; for the most part, he’s simply required to react to the wacky penguin shenanigans. Small children might get restless during the sequences in which Popper tries to patch up his relationship with his ex–wife (Carla Gugino is wasted as the missus), but they’ll otherwise be kept entertained by the animal antics. Adults, on the other hand, might want to stay away – as Pippi would doubtless note, this movie is putrid, puerile and painful.

SUPER 8 Writer-director J.J. Abrams’ adventure yarn Super 8 is set in 1979, a year that’s nestled between the release dates of Steven Spielberg’s first two blockbusters, 1975’s Jaws and 1977’s Close Encounters of the Third Kind, and his subsequent two blockbusters, 1981’s Raiders of the Lost Ark and 1982’s E.T. (Spielberg’s underrated 1941, which was released in 1979, was a flop.) The selection of this year makes sense, since the picture itself is surrounded on all sides by the influence - nay, the very spirit - of Mr. Spielberg (who, incidentally, is involved as a co-producer). But while imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, it’s not always the best way to make a movie. Super 8 is a thoroughly entertaining popcorn flick, but one does get the sense of Abrams sweating up a storm in an effort to produce the sort of guileless matinee magic that Spielberg conveyed effortlessly. Certainly, it’s easy to imagine this plotline being employed in an era that witnessed the likes of Gremlins and The Goonies (both executive-produced by Spielberg), and it’s equally easy to picture the leading roles filled by such then-youthful actors as Chris Makepeace, Wil Wheaton and either or both of the Coreys. With the exception of Elle Fanning, the other kids here are

other director of his generation. Think back to, for example, the scenes around Elliott’s household in E.T., or Sheriff Brody’s interactions with the townspeople in Jaws - sequences rendered even more special by the director’s instinctive ability to include recognizable bits of realistic behavior or backdrops. Abrams’ film, for all its strengths, can’t manage such a feat.

MIDNIGHT IN PARIS Stating that Midnight in Paris is Woody Allen’s best film in over a decade really doesn’t mean anything at all, since he’s made so many clunkers in recent years, so color me stunned that Midnight in Paris exudes both charm and cleverness in equal measure. Owen Wilson, who proves to be a natural fit for Allen, plays a burned-out screenwriter named Gil, who appears to be more in love with Paris than with his fiancee Inez (Rachel McAdams). And why not? Inez is pushy, self-centered and spoiled, while the French capital (which they’re visiting) is warm, inviting and deeply romantic. While Inez spends time with a pompous acquaintance (a funny Michael Sheen), Gil walks the city streets and soaks up the culture. Employing a bit of leftover fairy dust from his wonderful 1985 film The Purple Rose of Cairo, Allen soon has his leading man magically transported back to the 1920s, where he hobnobs with the likes of F. Scott Fitzgerald (Tom Hiddleston, Thor’s Loki), Ernest Hemingway (Corey Stoll) and Salvador Dali (Adrien Brody) and falls for Pablo Picasso’s beautiful mistress, Adriana (an enchanting Marion Cotillard). Midnight in Paris is a lightweight bauble from Allen. CS


largely unknowns, but all are perfectly cast in their respective parts. Newcomer Joel Courtney handles the starring role of Joe Lamb, who agrees to help his best friend Charles (fellow newbie Riley Griffiths) shoot a zombie movie for an amateur filmmaking competition in their home state of Ohio. Along with their gangly pals (Ryan Lee, Gabriel Basso and Zach Mills), as well as their reluctant classmate Alice (Fanning, a revelation here), the crew proceeds to begin filming at a rural railroad stop in the middle of the night, only to have said shoot interrupted when a train carrying a mysterious cargo derails (an explosive scene that rates comparison to the spectacular train crash in The Fugitive). The military soon comes a-callin’, followed shortly by a series of mysterious disappearances around town. E.T.’s suburban setting, Close Encounters’ sense of government secrecy, Jaws’ initially unseen menace, Raiders’ climactic cliffhanger-style thrills - all of these elements are dutifully channeled by Abrams, who takes the classic Spielberg model and outfits it with a new engine. The effects are more polished, the Dolby sound is ratcheted up, and what was once spanking new (Walkmans, The Knack’s “My Sharona”) is now employed in the film as misty nostalgia. As such, the picture might expertly manage the tightrope act of appearing equally appealing to kids (who will appreciate the monster mayhem) and their parents (who will appreciate the nods to the pop culture of their own youth). Yet while the former demographic won’t be cognizant of the limitations of the movie’s slavish devotion to the past, the latter audience might indeed sense the lack of those note-perfect tiny moments that made Spielberg unlike any


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submit your event | email: | fax: (912) 231-9932 | 1800 E. Victory Dr., Suite 7, Savannah, GA 31404




We reserve the right to edit or cut listings because of space limitations.

Activism & Politics Chatham County Democratic Party

For info, contact Tony Center, Chair, at 912233-9696 or For daily updates, join our Facebook page (Chatham Democrats Georgia) and visit our web site: Chatham County Democratic Headquarters, 313 W. York St. , Savannah

Mayoral Candidate Meet and Greet

The Five Points Beverage store located at 2103 Skidaway Road will host an informal meet and greet session with all of the city’s mayoral candidates. The event will run from 5-8 p.m. at the store, and citizens will be able to talk with candidates and ask questions. For more info, call Dee: 912-335-1217

Savannah Area Young Republicans

For information, visit or call Allison Quinn at 308-3020.


Call for Entries

Hope House of Savannah

Call for artists

A nonprofit housing program for homeless women and their children. Hope House is requesting donation of new or gently used furniture for its transitional housing program, Peeler House. Pick-up can be arranged and a tax deductible letter will be provided. Call 236-5310.

Household Supplies Drive

Park Place Outreach, youth emergency shelter is accepting canned food and household supplies. Household items needed include, cleaning supplies, laundry detergent, fabric softener, paper towels and toilet paper. Please visit www. for directions.

Rape Crisis Center Incest Survivor’s Group

As part of its ongoing work with incest survivors, the Rape Crisis Center has built a cinderblock wall where incest survivors can throw plates as an anger management technique. In order to continue, donations of china are needed. Call 233-3000 to make a donation.

Studio/Exhibition Space Available

Over 5,000 Sq. Ft. available for artist studios, music shows, photo shoots, filmmaking, office space, private events and more. Make an appointment to view: 233-1095 or email booking@

Volunteer Docents Needed

Davenport House volunteer docent/tour guide training is offered in July. This is a four week training program. Docents lead tours and assist with programming for people from around the world who visit the historic house. Call Dottie Kraft at 236-8097 between the hours of 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. or email at

Volunteers for Rape Crisis Center

Support victims through our 24-hour crisis line and hospital response. Contact the Volunteer Coordinator at 912-233-3000 or volunteers@ for an application. Training dates are September 7th & 8th (6pm-9pm), 10th (8:30am-4pm) & 12th through 14th (6pm-9pm each night). We ask that you attend all sessions. All applicants must be at least 21 years old and submit to a criminal background check.

Savannah Tea Party

meets the first Monday (excluding Holidays) of each month from 4:30 to 6:00 PM at the SRP offices located at 11 East 73rd Street. All persons interested in America’s Future are invited. Contact Marolyn Overton at 912-598-7358.


The Butcher’s deli case is looking for new and inventive artists to design their latest t-shirt. For submissions and more info, contact, or drop by the shop: The Butcher, 19 East Bay St. between Bull and Drayton

answers on page 37

“Greater-Than Sudoku” For this “Greater-Than Sudoku,” I’m not giving you ANY numbers to start off with! Adjoining squares in the grid’s 3x3 boxes have a greater-than sign (>) telling you which of the two numbers in those squares is larger. Fill in every square with a number from 1–9 using the greater-than signs as a guide. When you’re done, as in a normal Sudoku, every row, column, and 3x3 box will contain the numbers 1–9 exactly one time. (Solving hint: try to look for the 1’s and 9’s in each box first, then move on to the 2’s and 8’s, and so on).

Classes, Camps & Workshops $1 Gymnastics Class

Coach Wayne teaches gymnastics in the Savannah Mall every Saturday. Introductory class is $1., or call 912-925-0800.

Aikido Center

Traditional Japanese martial arts downtown on the corner of Broughton and whitaker. Class times: Mon thru Thurs at 6:30 pm; Sat at 11:00 am. Please come by at the beginning of any class for more info. Dues: $40 per month for all classes!

Art Classes

Experimental and classical art. Draw and paint figurative or abstract. Choose the technique which interests you the most. Lean about other artists and art history. The teacher is a former art professor with two masters in art and 20 years of experience in teaching art. contact: 912-604-3281

Art,-Music, Piano and Voice-coaching

For all age groups, beginners through advanced, classic, modern, jazz improvisation and theory. Serious inquiries only. 961-7021 or 667-1056.

Baby Sign Language

You and your baby will learn to communicate, before your child is able to verbalize. This course will provide an introduction to Baby Sign Language, how it works, and the benefits for parents and babies. 6:00-7:30pm Tues & Thurs July 5,7,12, & 14, 2011 Cost: $55 per person or $100 per couple Location: Nessmith-Lane Building Room 2904 at Georgia Southern Univ., Statesboro. Call: 912-478-5556

Baby Sign Language

You and your baby will learn to communicate, before your child is able to verbalize. This course will provide an introduction to Baby Sign

Language, how it works, and the benefits for parents and babies. 6:00-7:30pm Tues & Thurs July 5,7,12, & 14, 2011 Cost: $55 per person or $100 per couple Location: Nessmith-Lane Building Room 2904 at Georgia Southern Univ., Statesboro. Call: 912-478-5556

Beading Classes

Learn jewelry-making techniques from beginner to advanced at Bead Dreamer Studio, 407A E. Montgomery Cross Rd. Call 920-6659. Bead Dreamer Studio, Savannah

Boater Safety Classes

SCMPD hosts a series of certified safety classes. Does not include on the water instruction. Participants may qualify for insurance discounts. Must be at least 12 years old. April 16, May 21, June 18, July 16, August 20, September 17, October 15, November 19. For info or to register, call 912-921-5451. Free and open to the public.

Bouquet Making Workshop

learn the basics to make stunning bouquets. This class is designed for beginners and no flower design experience is needed. $100 fee which includes all materials. Pre-registration is required. Contact: SJM Celebrations, LLC: 912-346-4928 or

Champions Training Center

Offers a variety of classes and training opportunities in mixed martial arts, jui-jitsu, judo and other disciplines for youth and adults at all levels of expertise. 525 Windsor Rd. Call 912349-4582 or visit

Cheese making workshop

A cheese-making workshop will be held at Red Earth Farm near Reidsville on Saturday, July 23rd. Learn to make two simple and delicious cheeses -- fresh mozzarella and ricotta. Class will consist of a demonstration, then hands-on practice. email or call Raven Waters at (912) 557-1053. $15-30.

Conversational Spanish

Do you want to practice your Spanish? Come to the mesa de espanol the second Thursday and last Friday of the month at 4:30 p.m. For information, e-mail The Sentient Bean, 13 East Park Ave. , Savannah

DUI Prevention Group

Offers victim impact panels for intoxicated drivers, DUI, DWI, offenders, and anyone seeking to gain knowledge about the dangers of driving impaired. A must see for teenage drivers seeking a drivers license for the first time or teenage drivers who already received a license. The group meets once a month and the cost is $30.00. For more info: 912-443-0410.

Family Law Workshop

A 2-hour course for those representing themselves in a family legal action. 1st Tuesday of each month from 5:30-7:30 pm. The fee is $20 and provides forms and assistance in the filing of divorce, child custody modifications, legitimations or contempt legal actions. Preregistration is recommended. For info: www. or call 912-465-6686.

Fany’s Spanish/English Institute

Spanish is fun. Classes for adults and children are held at 15 E. Montgomery Cross Rd. Call 921-4646 or 220-6570 to register. Savannah

German Classes

Ongoing classes for beginners and experienced adults. We read, learn and talk. Everybody who likes to learn German is welcome and will have a lot of fun. Individual training and translations are available too. For more info, please call: 912-604 3281

happenings | continued from page 32 music classes WWW.MSAMYSCHOOLOFMUSIC. COM

New Horizons Adult Band Program

Holy Books of the World’s Religions

A music program for adults who played a band instrument in high school or college and would like to have the opportunity to begin playing again. Dust off your instrument every Monday night at Portman’s Music Store (Abercorn) at 6:30p.m. The cost is $30.00 per month. All ages and ability levels are welcome. Contact Pamela Kidd at 912-354-1500 for more info.

Housing Authority Neighborhood Resource Center

Mountain Color - A Plein Air workshop with Sandy Branam. Broad brush studies on small clay board as well as detail sketches in a journal, on location in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina. $450.00 Room and Board included. Oct. 10th – 14th, 2011. For more info, call Judy Mooney @ 912 443-9313 or email at

Guitar, mandolin and bass lessons

Guitar, mandolin or bass guitar lessons. emphasis on theory, reading music and improvisation. Located in Ardsley Park. 912-232-5987 Part 2 of the ongoing class will cover Sufism, Paganism, Jainism and Shintoism. Classes are held each Tuesday in July at 6:30pm. Those interested can attend one session or all of them. Unitarian Universalist Beloved Community. Located at 1001 E. Gwinnett, corner of Gwinnett and Ott. For info: 441-0328 or

The Housing Authority of Savannah hosts a series of regular classes at the Neighborhood Resource Center. 1407 Wheaton Street. Adult literacy/GED prep: Mon-Thurs, 9am-12pm & 1pm-4pm. Financial education: 4th Fri of month, 9-11am. Basic Computer training: Tues & Thurs, 1-3pm. Community Computer lab: Mon-Fri, 3-4:30pm. For more info: 912-232-4232 x115 or

Learn Russian

Learn to speak Russian. All experience levels welcome, beginner to expert. Call 912-659-3071 for more information.

Learn to Draw

Private and group drawing lessons by Artist and former SCAD Professor Karen Bradley. Call for details. 912-507-7138.

Life Drawing Sessions

Every Wednesday, 7:30pm-9:30pm, at The Butcher- 19 East Bay between Bull and Drayton. $10 admission.

Medicinal Mushrooms and Herbal Tonics

Free lecture sponsored by Brighter Day Natural Foods Market on Tues. July 26, with Roy Upton, RH, DAyu. Coastal Georgia Center, 305 Fahm Street (behind the Visitor’s Center), 7pm. For more info, call Brighter Day Natural Foods, 236-4703; pick up a flyer at the store at 1102 Bull Street, or visit

Mindfulness Meditation Class

Instruction in mindfulness stress reduction meditation. Group practice with time for questions and comments. Wednesdays, 7:00-8:15pm. Yoga Co-op Savannah. 2424 Drayton St. $13/ class (less with membership). or 912-429-7264.

Ms. Amy’s School of Music

A small privately owned studio offering: Private and Group Lessons, Piano, Clarinet, Trumpet, Trombone, Guitar, and more! Parent & Me classes for infants - toddlers. Group preschool


New to the area teacher with 10+ years experience has available openings for all beginner/ intermediate students. Studio located 2 blocks from Daffin Park. Call 401-255-6921 to schedule a 1/2 price first lesson!


Plein Painting Workshop

Savannah Entrepreneurial Center

Offering a variety of business classes. Call 6523582. Savannah Entrepreneurial Center, 801 E. Gwinnett Street , Savannah

Savannah Learning Center Spanish Classes

Be bilingual. Call 272-4579. e-mail or visit www.savannahlatina. com. Free folklore classes also are offered on Saturdays from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. Savannah Learning Center, 7160 Hodgson Memorial Dr. , Savannah

SCAD Community Education

SCAD’s Community Education program hosts a variety of workshops during the summer months. Digital photography, painting, illustration and more. Dates and costs vary. Call 912525-5945 or visit for more info.

Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner training

Sept. 26-30 in Savannah. Sexual Assault Nurse Examiners respond at the request of local Law Enforcement agencies to perform exams on sexual assault victims. Training is 40 hours with a 40 hour preceptorship to follow. $200 (may be reimbursable). If you are an RN with 2 or more years of experience and want to volunteer your time, please call the Rape Crisis Center at 912233-3000.

Singing Lessons with Anitra Opera Diva

A class teaching the Vaccai Bel Canto technique for those interested in improving their vocal range and breathing capacity. Bel Canto carries over well as a foundation technique for different styles including opera, pop, rock and cabaret. Henry St @ E Broad, Mon/Tues 6-9pm, 1 1/2 hour lesson $25. Call 786-247-9923, anitraoperadiva@,

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Home Run Video (downtown) 4 e. Liberty st. 236-5192

ComiCs & moRe (southside) 137 e. Montgomery Cross Rd. 925-7700

Open 7 days a week

“That’s So Money”--leaving a paper trail. by matt Jones | Answers on page 37 ©2011 Jonesin’ Crosswords (


1 Jumbo-sized

6 Cinnamon-covered snacks

13 He was found in a spider hole 14 It’s shown with a rolled-up sleeve 15 Deodorant options 16 Plant used in food coloring 17 Former domestic carrier 18 Streamlined 19 Without a gosh-dang thing on 25 Added boost 26 ___ noire 27 Actor who played himself in “Zombieland” 29 Give off 30 Comparable to 31 Interior designer’s concern 33 Standing upright 38 Prolific science fiction author Isaac 44 Palindromic fashion mag 45 Substance that may be donated 49 Get ready (for) 50 Highest point 51 Chewy fried seafood dish 53 Job that determines chicken genders 55 “Hungry” board game animal 56 Put complete faith in 59 “Is it bigger than a breadbox?” asker 61 Speak haltingly 62 How some words are best left 63 It’s on the mast 64 Nobel Prize-winning physicist Bohr


1 Like interplanetary travel 2 “Sounds fun” response 3 Deck out 4 Palindromic woman’s name

5 Symbols after brand names 6 Hoops group until 2009 7 Solo on the big screen 8 Coffee dispensers 9 Less phony 10 Like movies for “mature audiences” 11 Sandinista leader Daniel 12 Robinson of R&B fame 13 “What’re you gonna do about it?” 15 Got the genie out of the lamp 20 “This is only a test” gp. 21 Spectra maker 22 Airline in Holland 23 Tahiti, par exemple 24 Ethnomusicologist’s deg., maybe 28 Exploit 32 Aries, e.g. 34 Revenge tactic 35 Punctuation that lets you trail off 36 Gave a round of applause 37 Kind of muscle 39 ___ fly (baseball play) 40 Dublin’s country, in the Olympics 41 Blood vessel imaging machine 42 ___-pah bands 43 Beetles and Rabbits, e.g. 45 Most vile 46 Words before “interpretation” or “the public” 47 Like batters in the on-deck circle 48 Puts forth effort 52 “One of ___ days...” 54 Trebek’s “High Rollers” co-star Lee 57 Six, in Italy 58 Carson Daly’s former MTV show 59 Piece 60 Start for sex or corn


Guitar, Bass & Double Bass Lessons

Stand Up Paddleboarding


This 14-week full-time program is designed to provide work training and employment opportunities in the food service industry, including food preparation, food safety and sanitation training, customer service training and job search and placement assistance. Call Ms. Musheerah Owens 912-234-0525 ext.1506 The Starfish Cafe, 711 East Broad Street , Savannah



happenings | continued from page 33 Women’s Self-Defense Class

East Coast Paddleboarding offers paddleboard lessons, rentals, tours and sales, as well as a summer camp program for kids. It’s fun, a great way get out on the water and to stay fit. No experience necessary. or 781-267-1810

Starfish Cafe Culinary Arts Training Program

BriNgS yoU

Summer Jazz Camp

The Junior Jazz Foundation and the HHI Christian Academy will offer several jazz camp programs for area youth. For students entering grades 5-12. For more info, or to register for classes please email Mr. James Berry at, students may also register online at

Summer Toddler Art Camp

Is your child two years old or under and enjoys being creative? Enjoy this eight-weeklong adventure for your young artist! Starts July 15 through September 2. RSVPs required. $100 for the 8-week session or $12.50 per class. Fridays at 10am. GA State Railroad Museum 601 W. Harris St. 912.651.6823 x3

AASU Police Dept offers free Rape Aggression Defense class for women 18 years and older. The 12-hour program will be split into three sessions held on July 16, 23, and 30 from 1–5pm. Training will take place at the AASU Police headquarters, on campus, 11935 Abercorn St. Free. To register, please contact Theresa Davis at 912.344.3085 or Theresa.

Clubs & Organizations Avegost LARP

Live action role playing group that exists in a medieval fantasy realm. Generally meets on the second weekend of the month. Free for your first event or if you’re a non-player character. $35 fee for returning characters. Email: Kaza Ayersman, or visit

Buccaneer Region SCCA

is the local chapter of the Sports Car Club of America. It hosts monthly solo/autocross driving events in the Savannah area. Anyone with a safe car, insurance and a valid driver’s license is eligible to participate. Visit http://

Coastal MINIs

Local MINI Cooper owners and enthusiasts who gather on the first Sunday of the month at 10 a.m. to go on motoring adventures together. Visit Starbucks, Victory Drive and Skidaway Road , Savannah

Coastal Readers & Writers Circle

get him on the line FREE TRIAL

912.544.0026 Find your local number: 1.800.777.8000


Ahora en Español

A Creative Writing and Reading discussion group that meets the 3rd Sunday of every month, 3:30-5pm at the new Savannah Mall Branch Library. Bring: Passages from any of your writing that you would like to read and passages from a book, publication, or production that you would like to share with the group. for more information

Energy Healers

Meets every Monday at 6pm. Meditation and healing with energy. Discuss aromatherapy, chakra systems and more. Call 912-695-2305 for more info.

Exploring The American Revolution in Savannah

Interested in exploring the role Savannah played in the American Revolution? It is the goal of this organization to attract a wide range of interested persons including, artists, writers, teachers and historians for discussion, site exploration and creative collaboration. Meets the 1st & 3rd Thursdays at 6pm. Email, Kathleen Thomas: for more info.

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912.544.0013 More Local Numbers: 1.800.210.1010 18+

Ahora en Español

happenings | continued from page 34

Honor Flight Savannah

A non-profit organization dedicated to sending our area World War II veterans to Washington DC to visit the new WWII Memorial. All expenses are paid by Honor Flight Savannah, which is not a government-supported program. They depend on donations from the community to fund their efforts. For more info:

Jenkins High Class of ’71

40th reunion on Saturday, July 23, 2011 at the Hyatt Regency Savannah in the Harborside Room 6:30pm til midnight. Cocktails, dinner and dancing. For more info, email

Knitters, Needlepoint and Crochet

Every Wed. 5:00PM at My House Consignments & More, 206 W. Broughton St. No fees. Wanna learn? We love to show what we know. Many different levels get together in the store. Talk, knit, share have fun! Call 912-236-4111

Low Country Turners

Mothers of Preschoolers (MOPS)

Join other moms for fun, inspiration, guest speakers, food and creative activities while children ages birth to 5 are cared for in a preschool-like setting. Meets the second and fourth Wednesday of the month from 9:1511:30 am Call 898-0869 and 897-6167 or visit First Baptist Church of the Islands, 6613 Johnny Mercer Blvd , Savannah

Old Time Radio Researcher’s Group

International fan and research group devoted to preserving and distributing old-time radio broadcasts from 1926 to 1962. Send e-mail to Jim Beshires at or visit

Richmond Hill Roadies Running Club

A chartered running club of the Road Runners Association of America. For a nominal annual fee, members will receive monthly training sessions and seminars and have weekly runs of various distances. Kathy Ackerman,756-5865 or Billy Tomlinson 596-5965.

Rogue Phoenix Sci-Fi Fantasy Club

Members of Starfleet International and The Klingon Assault Group meet twice a month, on the first Sunday at 4 pm. at 5429 LaRoche Ave and the third Tuesday at Super King Buffet, 10201 Abercorn Street at 7:30 p.m. Call 308-2094, email kasak@ or visit Savannah

Savannah’s Hottest Erotica!

This is a club for wood-turning enthusiasts. Call Hank Weisman at 786-6953.

Military Order of the Purple Heart Ladies Auxiliary

Meets the first Saturday of the month at 1 p.m. Call 786-4508. American Legion Post 184, 1 Legion Dr. , Savannah

Safe Kids Savannah

Safe Kids Savannah, a coalition dedicated to preventing childhood injuries, holds a meeting on the second Tuesday of every month from 11:30am-1pm. Visit www.safekidssavannah. org or call 912-353-3148 for more info

continues on p. 36


Meets the second Thursday of every month from 6-7:30 p.m. The cost is the price of the meal. RSVP to 660-8257. Tubby’s Tank House, 2909 River Dr , Thunderbolt

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Free will astrology

happenings | continued from page 35

by Rob brezsny |

Samaritan House Food Pantry


March 21–April 19 It’s my observation that women find it easier than men to tune into their natural rhythms. The menstrual cycle helps cultivate that ability. We men experience less dramatic physical shifts, and that seems to give us license to override messages from our bodies for the sake of ambition, laziness, or convenience. Having acknowledged that, I must say that I know men who are highly sensitive and responsive to somatic cues, and women who aren’t. Whatever gender you are, I believe that in the coming weeks it’s crucial for you to be acutely aware of what’s going on inside your beloved flesh–and– blood vehicle. This is one time when you need to be intimately aligned with its needs.


April 20–May 20 One of the greatest kings of the ancient Persian Sassanid Empire was Shapur II (309–379). Shortly after his father died, he was made king while still in his mother’s womb. Since he could not yet wear his crown, officials set it upon his mother’s pregnant belly. He ruled from then until the day he died, 70 years later. I’m naming him your patron saint for the second half of 2011, Taurus. My sense is that the seed of some great accomplishment is already germinating within you. It may take a while to be fully born, but I suggest we consecrate its bright future now.


May 21–June 20 I’ve got no problem with the real world. I spend a lot of time there, enjoy its chewy riddles, and take it quite seriously. But I also consider myself a militant lobbyist for all the Other Worlds –– the domain of everything that’s invisible to the naked eye and irrelevant to the schemes of the rational ego. These alternate realities consist of the unconscious, the dreamtime, the spiritual sphere, the intelligence of nature, and the realm of the ancestors. In my astrological opinion, you’re due for a major upgrade in your relationship with these dimensions in the next 12 months. Now would be a good time to get started.


June 21–July 22 While listening to the sound collage radio program “Over the

Edge” on KPFA, I learned that a new primary color has been detected. Quite different from red, yellow, or blue, it has its own distinct hue that’s impossible to describe. You really have to see it to appreciate its essence. The discoverer of this marvel is Dr. Wohan Squant, who has named the color “squant.” (Full details here: I wish I could predict you’re about to create or find something equally revolutionary, Cancerian, but I can’t go quite that far. Nevertheless, you’ve entered a phase when you have the power to tinker with and even transform fundamental laws of your universe. So who knows? Maybe you’re on the verge of a shift almost as revolutionary as the discovery of squant.


July 23–Aug. 22 Are you feeling the sting of disappointment, railing at life for reneging on one of its promises to you? Are you in the throes of unleashing a great accusation, suffering the twisty ache that comes from having your pet theories disproved? Maybe you should consider the possibility that you are simply getting an opportunity to correct a misunderstanding –– that life isn’t being mean to you and you’re not being punished. I’d like to propose that you are, in fact, in the first phase of your healing. Listen to Bengali writer Rabindranath Tagore: “We read the world wrong and say that it deceives us.”


Aug. 23–Sept. 22 “The more one dwells on oneself,” says psychoanalyst Adam Phillips in his book *Going Sane,* “the more one is likely to suffer.” He thinks people need encouragement to avoid excessive introspection. “My project as a psychoanalyst,” he writes, “is to free them to not have to think about their lives so much.” While I feel he overstates the case, I do suspect his message would be good for you to heed in the coming weeks. For maximum success and robust mental health, take a generous portion of your attention off yourself and focus it on living your life with compassion, curiosity, and concern for others.


Sept. 23–Oct. 22 “One must choose in life between boredom and suffering,” proclaimed author Madame de

Sta l (1766–1817). I beg to differ with her, however. As evidence, I present the course of your life during the next few weeks. After analyzing the astrological omens, I expect you will consistently steer a middle course between boredom and suffering, being able to enjoy some interesting departures from the routine that don’t hurt a bit. There may even be pain–free excursions into high adventure mixed in, along with a fascinating riddle that taxes your imagination in rather pleasurable ways.


Oct. 23–Nov. 21 I accompanied a friend and his family to a small fairgound where a local school was having a fundraiser. There were rides and games for younger kids. Right away we came to a challenging activity that involved climbing a ladder made out of rubber and coated with some slippery substance. One girl, about seven years old, was having a moment of rowdy bliss as she tried to ascend. “It’s impossible –– but fun!” she cried out to her mom. Your assignment in the coming week is to find an adventure like that: one that’s impossible but fun.

SAGITTARIUS Nov. 22–Dec. 21

“It is not always needful for truth to take a definite shape,” wrote Johann Wolfgang von Goethe. “It is enough if it hovers about us like a spirit and produces harmony; if it is wafted through the air like the sound of a bell, grave and kindly.” With this quote, I’m alerting you to the fact that a new truth is now floating into your world, Sagittarius. It’ll be misty and sparkly, yet somehow also decisive and lucid. It will comfort you and yours, but also be a bit shocking. It will be sharply tonic, like good, strong medicine that has a pungent yet oddly delicious flavor you’ve never tasted before.

CAPRICORN Dec. 22–Jan. 19

If there were a useful website with the domain name, I would advise you to go check it out. The same is true if there were websites like,,, or What I’m trying to tell you, Capricorn, is that this would be an excellent time for you to find out more about

yourself from objective sources –– or any other kind of sources, for that matter. Solicit feedback, my beautiful darling. Ask for updates on how you’re doing.

AQUARIUS Jan. 20–Feb. 18

Ninety–six percent of all adults say they would change something about their appearance if they could. That statistic is one factor that leads philosopher Jonathan Zap to make this observation: “Suffering associated with body image has reached such epidemic proportions in our culture that it must be counted as one of the greatest spiritual plagues ever to be visited upon mankind.” That’s the bad news, Aquarius. The good news is that the coming months will be an excellent time for learning to be at more peace with how you look. I invite you to formulate a three–point plan that will help you come to a perspective in which you will love your body exactly the way it is.


Feb. 19–March 20 On her website, Marnia Robinson reported on a discovery she made that may be useful to you. Wandering around a county fair, she went to a reptile exhibit where she encountered an animal trainer who had an alligator resting serenely on his lap. She asked him why the creature was so well–behaved. “I pet it daily,” he said. “If I didn’t, it would quickly be wild again, and wouldn’t allow this.” Apply that lesson in your own life, Pisces. Bestow regular tenderness and loving touch to the feral, untamed, primitive influences in your life –– including any that may reside within you.

Reaching out to those in need in the Pooler/ Chatham area. For more info please call 912748-5847.

Savannah Adventure Club

Dedicated to pursuing adventures, both indoors and outdoors, throughout the Low country and beyond. Activities include sailing, camping, skydiving, kayaking, hiking, tennis, volleyball, and skiing, in addition to regular social gatherings. Free to join. Email savannahadventureclub@ or visit www.savannahadventureclub. com

Savannah Area Sacred Harp Singers

The public is invited to come and sing early American music and folk hymns from the shape note tradition. This non-denominational community musical activity emphasizes participation, not performance. Songs are from The Sacred Harp, an oblong songbook first published in 1844. Call 655-0994.

Savannah Art Association

The non-for profit art association, the Southeast’s oldest, is currently taking applications for membership. The SAA offers workshops, community programs, exhibition opportunities, and an artistic community full of diverse and creative people from all ages, mediums, and skill levels. Please call 912-232-7731 for more info.

Savannah Brewers’ League

Meets the first Wednesday of every month at 7:30 p.m. Call 447-0943 or visit and click on Clubs, then Savannah Brewers League. Moon River Brewing Co., 21 W. Bay St. , Savannah

Savannah Council, Navy League of the United States

A dinner meeting held the fourth Tuesday of each month (except December) at 6 p.m. at the Hunter Club. Call John Findeis at 748-7020. Hunter Army Airfield, 525 Leonard Neat St , Savannah

Savannah Fencing Club

Beginner classes Tuesday and Thursday evenings for six weeks. Fees are $60. Some equipment is provided. After completing the class, you may become a member of the Savannah Fencing Club for $5 per month. Experienced fencers are welcome to join. Call 429-6918 or send email to

Savannah Guardian Angels

Come meet the Local Chapter of the Guardian Angels on the 1st Monday of every month from 7pm-9pm at Elite Martial Arts in Pooler,GA. Free snacks and drinks and info on the Guardian Angels. For more

Savannah Jaycees

Meeting and information session held the 1st Tuesday of every month at 6pm to discuss upcoming events and provide an opportunity for those interested in joining the Jaycees to learn more. Must be 21-40 years old to join the chapter. 101 Atlas St. 912-353-7700 or www. Jaycee Building, Savannah

Savannah Kennel Club

Monthly meetings are open to the public and visitors. Meetings are held at Logan’s Roadhouse Restaurant, 11301 Abercorn St. on the fourth Monday of each month, September through May. Dinner starts at 6 pm and meeting starts at 7:30pm. Guest Speakers at every meeting. For more info, call 912-328-3170 or visit

Savannah Newcomers Club

Open to all women who have been in the Savannah area for less than two years. Membership includes a monthly luncheon and program and, in addition, the club hosts a variety of activities, tours and events that will assist you in learning about Savannah and making new friends. www.

Tarde en Espanol

Savannah Sunrise Rotary Club

The 13th Colony Patriots

Love a laid-back lifestyle? Beach, Buffet and no dress code. Check out savannahphc. com for the events calendar or e-mail Wendy Wilson at

Meets Thursdays from 7:30-8:30 a.m. at the First City Club. 32 Bull St , Savannah http://

Savannah Toastmasters

Helps you improve speaking and leadership skills in a friendly and supportive environment on Mondays at 6:15 p.m. at Memorial Health University Medical Center, Conference Room C. 484-6710. Memorial Health University Medical Center, 4700 Waters Avenue , Savannah

Savannah Writers Group

meets the second and fourth Tuesdays at 7pm at Books a Million to discuss, share and critique writing of fiction or non-fiction novels, essays or short stories. A meet-and-greet precedes the meeting at 6:30pm. Contact Carol North, 912-920-8891. 8108 Abercorn St , Savannah

Seersucker Live’s Happy Hour for Writers

A no-agenda gathering of the Savannah area writing community, held on the first Thursday of every month from 5:30-7:30pm. Free and open to all writers, aspiring writers, and anyone interested in writing. 21+ with valid I.D. For location and details, visit SeersuckerLive. com.

Son-shine Hour

Meets at the Savannah Mall at the Soft Play Mondays from 11-12 and Thursdays from 10-11. Activities include songs, stories, crafts, and games for young children and their caregivers. Free, no registration, drop-ins welcome. Call Trinity Lutheran Church for details 912-925-3940 or email KellyBringman@gmail. com Savannah Mall,

Southern Wings

Local chapter of Women in Aviation International. It is open to men and women in the region who are interested in supporting women in aviation. Regular meetings are held once a month and new members are welcome. Visit


Knit and crochet gathering held each Tuesday evening, 5pm-8pm All skill levels welcome. Free Spinning fiber into yarn group meets the first Monday of each month at 1pm. Wild Fibre, 6 East Liberty Street (near Bull St.) Call for info: 912-238-0514

Psycho sudoku Answers

Meets the last Wednesday of every month at 6:30pm in different locations to practice spoken Spanish in a casual environment. 236-8566. A Tea Party group that meets the 13th of each month at Logan’s Road House at 6pm. 11301 Abercorn St. Open to the public. Dedicated to the preservation of the United States Constitution and life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness for all Americans. or call 912-5965267.


The Peacock Guild

A literary society for bibliophiles and writers. Monthly meetings for the Writer’s Salon are held on first Tuesday and the Book Club meets on the third Tuesday. All meetings start at 7:30 p.m. at meet at 207 E. Charlton St (Flannery O’Connor’s Childhood Home). Call 233-6014, facebook Peacock Guild or email for more info.

The Philo Cafe

A weekly discussion group that meets from 7:30pm-9pm at Books-A-Million, 8108 Abercorn St., each Monday. Anyone craving some good conversation is invited to drop by. No cost. For more info, email athenapluto@yahoo. com or look up The Philo Cafe on Facebook.


Theremin/Electronic Music Enthusiasts A club for enthusiasts of electronic music and instruments, including the theremin, synths, Mooger Foogers, jam sessions, playing techniques, compositions, gigs, etc. Philip Neidlinger,

Victorian Neighborhood Association

Meets the 2nd Tuesday of every month, at the American Legion Hall located at 1108 Bull Street. For more info visit the VNA website at:

Vietnam Veterans of America Chapter 671

Meets monthly at the American Legion Post 135, 1108 Bull St. Call James Crauswell at 927-3356. Savannah

Windsor Forest High Class of ’91 Reunion

The Windsor Forest High School class of 1991 will hold its 20 year reunion on July 23 at 7pm at the Alee Temple Ballroom. Cost is $75/ couple or $40/single. For more info, visit Facebook: WFHS Reunion and WFHS ’91 Reunion or Email:

Woodville-Tompkins Scholarship Foundation

Meets the second Tuesday of every month (except October), 6:00 pm at Woodville-Tompkins, 151 Coach Joe Turner Street. Call 912232-3549 or email for more information. cs



to Heavenly Bar-B-Q & Southern Cooking

Crossword Answers

for only





Savannah Parrot Head Club


happenings | continued from page 36






For your inFormation 120 HOT GUYS! HOT CHAT! HOT FUN! Try FREE! Call 912-544-0026 or 800-777-8000. Real People, Real Chat, Real Discreet Try FREE! Call 404-214-5141 or call 800-210-1010. GaraGe SaleS 200

Yard SaleS 204 Rincon Thrift Shop located behind Choo-Choo Build it Mart Open Monday-Saturday. Closed Wednesday & Sunday. 105 Commercial Court Rincon Ga 912-826-0949 EstatE salEs 212


By appointment only....Must clear-out mid-town Savannah collector’s home filled with lovely antiques & local and highly-sought-after, original art (Christopher Murphy, Hattie Saussy, Myrtle Jones & MORE!) Call Ann Lemley (912)398-4435 or Will Wade (912)631-1940 or office of Old Savannah Estates, Antiques & Auctions (912)231-9466 for more information and to make your appointment to attend. Items for sale 300

want to buy 390 Diabetic Test Strips Wanted Most types, Most brands. Will pay up to $10/box. Call Clifton 912-596-2275. Miscellaneous Merchandise 399 3-WHEEL Scooter, 150cc, SunL scooter w/canvas top, low 800 mileage. Call Gary, 912-412-9000 for more info.

EmploymEnt 600

General 630

12350 Mercy Boulevard Savannah, GA Maintenance Supervisor needed. Must be HVAC and CPO certified. NO PHONE CALLS. Fax or bring in resume. 912-925-6997

General 630

Coastal Home Care, Inc is hosting a Job Fair at the Hinesville location on Friday, July 1st from 12-4pm. We are hiring for Bryan and Liberty Counties! Applicants must have a clean background and prior personal care experience. Complimentary refreshments will be provided! We look forward to meeting you! 531 South Main St., Hinesville, GA 31313. (912)332-7327.

HIRING Part-time Housekeeper for mornings. Must have car. Call 912-234-9779 JOURNEYMAN FABRICATOR Savannah based tank manufacturer is looking for Experienced Detailer. Able to read prints and weld proficiently. Capable of ASME certification. Send resume or request for application with self-addressed envelope to: Fabricator, PO Box 7847, Garden City, Ga., 31418.

The Social Apostolate is seeking an experienced part-time cook for the soup kitchen. $10 - $12/hr. Apply in person at 502 E. Liberty Street. No phone calls please.

General 630 NANNY Nanny needed to care for 8 year old boy with autism in Richmond Hill. Duties include: assisting in bathing and dressing child; food preparation; light housekeeping (maintaining order); and, closely monitoring child’s activities and safety. Send resume including pay requirements to Patient Sitter Patient Sitter needed to spend two hours per day (12:00 noon until 2:00 p.m.) with elderly bedridden Parkinson’s patient at St. Joseph’s Hospital in Savannah. Observe patient and communicate any problems to nurses and family by phone. Send resume WITH pay requirements via e-mail to WELLNESS COACHES needed. PT/FT. $500-$5000 plus. Will train! Call 651-263-6677 Business OppOrtunity 690 Publisher’s Notice of Ethical Advertising Connect Savannah will not knowingly publish false or misleading advertising. Connect Savannah urges all readers to be cautious before sending money or providing personal information to anyone you do not know, especially for advertising in the For Your Information, Help Wanted or Business Opportunity categories. Be especially cautious of advertisements offering schemes for “earning money in the home.” You should thoroughly investigate any such offers before sending them money. Remember, the Better Business Bureau can be a good source of information for you.

Real estate 800

HOmes fOr sale 815 FSBO DUPLEX: 1105 & 1107 E.38th, 3BR/1BA,all electric,CH&A, stove, refrigerator, dishwasher,hardwood floors.Both units rented $625/mo. $170,000 OBO. 912-748-4182 or 912-596-9577

NEW COMPANY Looking to Buy or Lease houses in Savannah area. Any Price, Any Condition. 912-691-2073 What Are You Waiting For?!

Call 912-721-4350 and Gain New Customers!

PRICED FOR QUICK SALE/RENT By owner: 107 Keystone Drive. Brick, 3BR/2BA, LR, kitchen, DR, den w/fireplace, large enclosed sunroom/party room, large fenced-in backyard, double garage, ceiling fans, storage shed, shallow well. $139,900; $1400/month. Call 912-927-1470 or 912-844-4433


Available For Sale! $140,000. Executive style home 3BR (possibly 4), 2BA, LR, DR, large family room w/fireplace, dishwasher, washer/dryer connections, utility room, carport, plus deluxe backyard shed. New wood floors, New paint, New ceiling fans, and New vinyl floors in bathroom, kitchen & laundry room. This spacious home is located just blocks from Armstrong University, near Windsor High School, shopping, and various restaurants. Also it is located within a few minutes of HAAF. Call Preferred Realty’s Cindy Osborne, 912-489-4529 or Scott Berry,912-920-1936 for an appointment today! WINDSOR FOREST Available For Sale for $69,900! 3BR/1.5BA, LR, DR, utility room, carport. New wood floors, New paint interior & exterior, and New vinyl floors in bathrooms, and New ceiling fans. This home is located just blocks from schools, shopping, and various restaurants. Also it is located within a few minutes of HAAF. Owner financing maybe available. Owner is licensed Georgia real estate agent. Call Preferred Realty’s Cindy Osborne or Scott Berry, 912-489-4529 or 920-1936 for an appt. today! Mobile HoMes For sale 830

Great Deal In the BORO

‘97 Sweetwater Maj.MH, 3BD/2BA,new-appliances,central air,fireplace,washer/dryer&extras for $29,500 OBO.912-842-2837.On great lot that can be rented w/approval LAND/HOME .79 acre- ‘88 Doublewide mobile home. 3BR/2BA, den with fireplace, new roof, CH&A, good condition, sells “As-Is”. $50,000. 912-657-1593

for rent 855 HOUSES 4 Bedrooms 12708 Largo Dr. $1600 126 Lake Hse. Rd. $1495 4 Cordage Cir. $1195 3 Bedrooms 107 Capt John’s Way $1450 12708 Largo Dr. $1600 107 Barrington Rd. $1450 101 Brianna Circ. $1150 215 Laurelwood Dr. $895 111 Ventura Blvd. $950 32 Arthur Cir. $850 2214 East 43rd $850 117 Chatham St. $795 2 Bedrooms 214 Forest Ridge $850 308 E. 53rd St. $995 2010 E.58th St. $725 2309 E.42nd St. $725

1812 North Avalon Avenue: 2BR/1.5BA Townhouse $675/month, $200/deposit.

APARTMENTS 740 E.45th St. $725 upper 654B E.36th St. $625 5608-A Jasmine Ave $595 1408-1/2 East 49th St. $495

18 TREADWAY, Port Wentworth. 3BR/2BA, lots of extras. $995/Rent. Rent-to-Own - No credit check. STAY MANAGEMENT 352-7829


1303 E.66th Street: 2BR/2BA, Near Memorial Hosp., W/D connection, walk-in closets. $725/month;$400/deposit. 207 Edgewater Rd: Near Oglethorpe Mall. 2BR/2BA, walk-in closet, W/D connection $725/month. DAVIS RENTALS 310 E. MONTGOMERY X-ROADS 912-354-4011 OR 656-5372


3BR, 1 Bath, LR, DR, eat-in kitchen. Inside laundry. Pets ok w/approval. $800/month, $795/deposit. References and credit check required. 898-0078


ONE, TWO & THREE BR Apts. & Houses for rent. Stove, refrigerator, washer/dryer. 1/2 month OffGood for this month only. 912-844-5996 OR 912-272-6820


3BR, 2 Baths, new paint. $800/month, $450/deposit. Contact Mr. Mullings, 912-484-1347

12350 Mercy Blvd. Savannah, GA 31419 Office: 912-925-4815

SUPER SAVINGS! One & Two Bedrooms Discounts for Students Limited Time at this Price Call or Come in Today!

Buy. Sell. For Free!

1/2-OFF 1ST MONTH’S RENT! Rent A Manufactured home,14x70,on high/wooded lot. 3BR/2BA,save $$$, Gas, heat and stove, central air, refrigerator,full mini-blinds, carpeting and draperies, washer/dryer hookups, 48sqft. deck w/hand rails and steps, double-car cement parking pad. Swimming pool, recreational areas, on-site garbage service(twice weekly) and fire protection included, cable TV available, guest parking. Starting at $500/month,including lot rent. 800 Quacco Road. 925-9673. Call 912-721-4350 and Place Your Classified Ad Today!

Buy. Sell. For Free!


Land/Lots for saLe 840 LOTS FOR SALE: Liberty City, also near Fairgrounds, West 42nd & Thunderbolt. Call 912-224-4167

Browse, Match and Reply FREE! Straight 912-344-9500 Gay or Bi 912-344-9494 Use FREE Code 7638, 18+

for rent 855

237 West 73rd: 2BR, 1 Bath Duplex. Appliances $475/month. Villages at Berwick 3BR/2BA, fireplace, dbl. garage, hardwood floors, all amenities $1275/month. Port Wentworth-108 Evora St. 3BR/2BA, fenced yard, central heat/air, oversized garage, quiet neighborhood $800/month. $35 Non-refundable app fee. Deposit Same as Rent Hal Brodmann, 912-713-7957

2BR,1BA APT. For Rent. Washer/dryer connection, fenced backyard, carpet, ceiling fans. 8 Mastick Street. $490/Rent, $490/deposit. 904-545-2355

2BR/1BA HOUSE For Sale/Lease

East Savannah off Pennsylvania. Very clean, all utilities, central heat/air. No smoking or pets. $950/month,$450/deposit. Ask for Dennis, 912-412-6738

2BR/2BA condo plus bonus room. W/D connection. Pool. 70 Colony Park, near So.College/Memorial Hospital. $850/month plus deposit/security check. Nopets/Smoking. 912-352-9215

*2BR HOUSE: Each has own bath. Newly renovated,hardwood floors.Convenient location to shopping & Truman Pkwy.@ Victory Drive.$850/rent, $850/deposit. No pets. *1BR APT. very nice and clean. Washer/dryer connections, hardwood floors, convenient area, close to Home Depot and shopping center on Victory Drive. $575/rent, $500/deposit. No pets. 912-352-4391 or 912-658-4559

3BR/1BA LR, DR, kitchen, central heat/air, hardwood floors, fenced back yard, washer/dryer conn, back porch $750/deposit, $750/monthly. Section 8 welcome. 912-233-8378, leave msg. 513 WEST 63RD STREET: 4BR/1BA, washer/dryer hookup, central heat/air, large backyard. $850/per month, $850/security deposit. Call 912-844-2344

Very nice, includes utilities, cable, washer & dryer. $200/week. $200/deposit. 912-236-1952 GREAT LOCATION FOR SCAD STUDENTS 726 Seiler Ave-Newly Remodeled 2BR/1BA, CH&A, LR, Laundryroom. Appliances included. Private-parking. $700/month, $700/deposit. 912-659-3550

640 W. 37TH ST. Apt. B

3 Bedrooms, appliances provided including washer/dryer. Central heat/air, ceiling fans. $775/month. Call 912-233-3945/251-648-5705 705 WEST 44th St: 3BR $750. 540 West 44th St. Very large 3BR house $950. Section 8 Welcome. Call 354-3884 •730 E. 46th St. 2BR/1BA $900 •100 Lewis Dr. Apt.14D 2BR/1BA, CH&A $600. •719 W. 46th St. 2BR/1BA $600 •15 Burke Ave. 2BR/1BA $525 •1005 Hearn St. 2BR/1BA $500 +DEPOSIT, NO-PETS NO-SMOKING CALL BILL or TONYA: 650-2711



Mobile Home lots for rent. First month rent free! Wooden deck, curbside garbage collection twice weekly, swimming pool and playground included. Cable TV available. HOUSE FOR RENT Recently renovated. 3BR/2BA, separate LR/DR, Den, HW floors. Near Victory Drive. Rent is $825/month with security deposit. No appliances included. Contact Bessie Jacobs 912-844-6203 or 912-234-6944

HURRY!! 2, 3, 4 & 5 Bedrooms Available; starting @ just $650 820 TIBET: 3BR, 2½BA townhome. to $1350/month. Please call Separate LR, laundry room, central 912-432-9303 today! heat/air, private patio & utility room. $950/month. Call . 912-596-7551


MOVE-IN SPECIALS AVAILABLE Newly Renovated Large 2BR/1BA Apartments.New hardwood floors,carpet, paint, appliances, central heat/air, washer/dryer hookups. $600-$650/month, utilities may be added to rent if requested. 507-1489/844-3974 SECTION 8 WELCOME •DUANE COURT & Caroline Drive: 2BR/1BA, living room, kitchen furnished, total electric $675/month •BEE RD: 2BR/1BA $625/month. 912-897-6789 or 344-4164


SECTION 8 ACCEPTED PETS OK WITH APPROVAL 1305 E 39th St. Total Electric, 3BR/1BA, Living room/Dining, Kitchen w/range & refrigerator, W/D connections, CH&A. Rent $700; Deposit $650 References & Credit Check Required on Rentals


FURNISHED 1BR APT, all utilities paid, central heat/air, washing machine. $675/month. Call Mr. Gibbs, 912-257-3000

IN POOLER: Brick 3BR/2BA, fenced backyard, storage building, covered patio $950/month, $950/deposit. Call 912-823-2955, 912-844-1825 or 912-844-1812


FOR RENT: ISLE OF HOPE 3BR/2BA,large den, washer/dryer connections, fenced yard. No pets. Ref., 1-year lease. $750/security deposit,$1100/month. 912-308-8284 LARGE 3BR, 2 bath house, big rooms. Recently built, energy efficient. Midtown, great neighborhood-Walz Drive. Porch, yard $1200/month. 912-272-2330 MOBILE HOMES: Available for rent. Located in mobile home park. Starting at $450 per month and up. 912-658-4462 or 912-925-1831. NEWLY RENOVATED 2212 UTAH STREET Cozy 2BR, 1 Bath, newly carpeted & ceramic tile floors, eat-in kitchen, separate laundry room, CA/H, large fenced backyard. $675/month, $650/deposit. Section 8 not accepted. 912-897-4009. Available immediately


Lovely 2 Bedroom Brick Apt. carpet, blinds, kitchen furnished, central air, no pets. Washer/dryer connections, $550/monthly. Call 912-661-4814 ONE & TWO Bedroom Apartments for rent.656 East 36th, 702 E. Henry St. & 1201 E.Park Ave. 912-224-1876/912-232-3355. after 3:00pm RENTAL: Thunderbolt Harbor EliteCondo. 1800sqft 2BR, den, diningarea, 2BA, Jacuzzi, FP, pool, 2-cargarage, balcony overlooking Intracoastal Waterway boat-slip $1800. (912)661-4814

for rent 855 RENT: DUPLEX 1109A E.53rd Street. 2BR/1BA $475/month plus $475/deposit. One block off Waters Ave, Close to Daffin Park. Call 234-2726 Days/Nights/Weekends. RENT-TO-OWN Large 2BR/2BA & Small 3BD/2BA remodeled mobile homes in nice Garden City mobile home park. Pool, basketball court, playground, clubhouse. Low, affordable payments. Credit check required. Call Gwen or Della, 912-964-7675. SOUTHSIDE •1BR apts, washer/dryer included. Water & trash included, $625/month. •2BR/1.5BA townhouse apt, total electric, w/washer & dryer/$650. Call 927-3278 TYBEE - 3 Bedroom, 2 bath townhouse. Hardwood floors, carpet, beautiful view. Quiet Street. $1,900 per month, $1,900 deposit. 912-507-4637. Unfurnished Garage Apartment (kitchen-furnished; stove, refrigerator, and microwave) Owner pays utilities excluding cable/internet. References-Required. $800/month. First-and-Last month’s rent required. 912-898-0179

UPCHURCH ENTERPRISES 912-665-0592 912-354-7737

HUNTER’S CHASE SUBDIVISION 3BR/2BA, single car garage, fenced backyard. Military Discount. $1000/month. VACANT - 1BR, BATH, kitchen, private, all utilities, cable, refrigerator, stove, AC included. Private entrance/patio. $600/month, $600/security deposit. 912-925-4728.

CommerCial ProPerty For rent 890 SHOP SPACE FOR RENT off Skidaway Rd. near Home Depot. <25x60> & <50x60> w/fenced yard<50X60>. Call 772-341-8838 day or night. rooms for rent 895 CLEAN, QUIET, Room & Efficiencies for Rent.On Busline, Stove, Refrigerator, Washer/Dryer. Rates from $85-$165/week. Call 912-272-4378 or 912-631-2909

Wilmington Island Duplex 3 Bedroom 2 Bath Living Room, Kitchen, Dining Area.975.00 a Month 2 Bedroom 1 Bath Apt. completely remolded 800.00 a month 912-897-6789


3BR, 1BA, LR, family room, dining area, large kitchen, laundry room, central heat & A/C, shed w/electricity & concrete floor, newly painted interior & exterior. Available Early July. No pets or smoking. $849/Rent + security deposit $889. (1yr. lease required) **Special Discount available for Police officers on rent & sec.dep. Call Scott Berry, Property manager at Berry Enterprises, 920-1936.

cars 910

NICE ROOM/HOUSE for rent, Westside, quiet neighborhood. For reliable, working person. No drugs! Contact 912-844-8716 or 912-272-6452 ROOM FOR RENT in New subdivision. Queen-size bed, TV & pool. $150/week, no security deposit. Call for appt. @ 912-596-4432 Call 912-721-4350 and Place Your Classified Ad Today!

ROOMS FOR RENT Completely furnished. Central heat and air. Conveniently located on busline. $130 per week. Call 912-844-5995. EFFICIENCY ROOMS Includes stove, refrigerator, private bath. Furnished! $180/week. Call 912-844-5995. SPACIOUS ROOMS FOR RENT Newly renovated on busline.2 blocks from Downtown Kroger,3 blocks from Historic Forsyth Park. $150/week w/No deposit. 844-5995

AVAILABLE ROOMS: CLEAN, comfortable rooms. Washer/dryer, air, cable, HBO, ceiling fans. $110-$140 weekly. No deposit. Call Ike @ 844-7065 EFFICIENCIES $160/per week & up. Utilities included, Furnished, private bath. No Deposit. Call 912-695-7889 or 912-342-3840 Furnished RoomsShared House Furnished rooms for rent with tv,cable,central heat/air,enclosed porch, privacy fence and large sit-in kitchen. $125/week. (912)306-6776 Garage room for rent. Private bath, furnished. Cable, electric, and water included. $135/week or $500/month. Deposit required. Call 912-428-6324


4BR/1BA, CH&A fenced yard, furnished kitchen, all electric and more. 2117 Brentwood Dr. $855/month. 3BR/1BA, furnished kitchen, all electric, fenced yard and more. 21 Gerald Drive $850month. 912-507-7934 or 912-927-2853

rooms for rent 895


Paint & Body Work. Reasonably Priced. Insurance Claims. We buy wrecks. Call 912-355-5932.

Room for Rent Safe, Quiet environment in nearly new home. Utilities & cable included. On busline. $120/weekly, $75/deposit. Call 912-484-1347 ROOMING HOUSE on 38th & Drayton. Furnished Apts., utilities included $150/week; Furnished Rooms $80/week. Call 234-9779 ROOMMATES WANTED West Savannah: Very Clean, newly remodeled w/central heat/air, stove,refrigerator,cable, washer/dryer, WiFi. On busline. Starting at $125/week. Call 912-272-6919 ROOMMATE WANTED: Professional,responsible,mature,clean smoke-free ADULT to share house on Southside.On busline,near shopping, 10min. from Downtown. Completely furnished.All utilities included. $150/weekly.912-656-1310

NEED A ROOM? STOP LOOKING! Great rooms available ranging from $115-$140/weekly. Includes refrigerators, cable w/HBO, central heat/air. No deposit. Call 912-398-7507.

LINCOLN Town Car, 2001 For Sale. $1500 OBO. Call 912-484-2636

130 ALPINE DRIVE: Roommate Wanted. $500/mo., NO deposit or $150/week. Near Hunter AAF. Available Now. 912-272-8020

CADILLAC Escalade, 2002 $10,800. Clean truck, 131,000 miles 22” wheels, new tires. View pictures: http://savannah. Call 912-844-3974


Furnished, affordable room available includes utility, cable,refrigerator, central heat/air. $115-$140/weekly, no deposit.Call 912-844-3609

HONDA Accord CpE EX, 2004. Sunroof, leather seats, 20”Mags, spoiler, 6pk CD, 5 speed manual, 33MPG. $8500. Call 912-727-4159

TOYOTA Tundra, 2006. DBL Cab, Limited XSP-V8 4.7- 271 HP. 5 Speed Automatic, loaded, leather, 20” Mags, 40K miles. $15.500. Call 912-964-2100


FORD TAURUS SE, 2004- 4-door wagon. 6-passenger mid-size. Auto overdrive trans. Runs great. $3,500 OBO. Call 658-8480 or 692-0336

ROOMS FOR RENT California Avenue. Weekly rental $95-$170/per week. Cable/Central Air/Furnished kitchen/Washer & Dryer. On busline. No smoking inside. 912-447-1933.

Buy. Sell. For Free! LARGE VICTORIAN with windows on two sides, across from library, nicely furnished, all utilities. TV/cable/internet, washer/dryer, $140/week. $504/month. 912-231-9464 Other apts. avail.

CHEVROLET Corvette, 1993-40th Anniversary Special ‘Vette, glass top, 300HP. 65K miles, Very rare care. 525MPG. $15,000. Call 912-727-4159

Boats & accessories 950

14’ MCKEE CRAFT, Fiberglass, 70HP Yamaha motor. Good for water skiing, fishing, crabbing or family cruising $3500. 912-897-5044


cars 910

ACURA RSX, 2005- $7,200 or best offer. Call Amy, 912-604-0549 BUICK Lesabre,2001 4-door, less than 22,000 miles. One owner, senior citizen owner, garaged, 2 new tires $6,000. Call 912-661-1574

What Are You Waiting For?!

Call 912-721-4350 and Gain New Customers!

CADILLAC Biarritz, 1980912-354-3884

SUVS 930


DON’T Buy new motor. New factory (not re-built) V-4 power head for Johnson or Evinrude. Fits most 85HP up to 115HP motors. New cost over $4,000, Buy for only $1,200. Evenings, 897-7340

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for rent 855


for rent 855



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Jun. 29, 2011 Connect Savannah Issue  

Featuring Memphis oddballs Lord T & Eloise; Werner Herzog's "Cave of Forgotten Dreams"; Georgia's impending immigration reform; baseball at...

Jun. 29, 2011 Connect Savannah Issue  

Featuring Memphis oddballs Lord T & Eloise; Werner Herzog's "Cave of Forgotten Dreams"; Georgia's impending immigration reform; baseball at...