2027 B'nei Mitzvah Parent Information Packet

B'NEI MITZVAH PARENT INFORMATION

2027 5787-5788

HOST YOUR

Reception AT CONGREGATION AGUDATH ISRAEL!

Contact Jill Bristow

973-226-3600 • jbristow@agudath.org

OVERVIEW Dear Parents, Enclosed is important information regarding the options for your child’s 2027 Bar/Bat Mitzvah. In order to accommodate the greatest number of children and families, please return your form by Friday, February 9, 2024.

Thank you!

Cantor Caplan

THE GOAL To have only one Bar/Bat Mitzvah family at each service. No "doubling up".

THE ISSUE We have over 40 children who will celebrate their B Mitzvah in 2027.

THE SOLUTION We provide many possible choices, with different types of services depending on the kind of service your family prefers.

After we find out what kind of service you are interested in, we assign you a service as close as we can to your child's Hebrew birthday, unless you request something else. If you want a Shabbat morning or Shabbat dinnertime date that is not near your child's Hebrew birthday, we'll see if there's one available after all the kids have been assigned near their own birthday.

There will often be at least two children assigned to each Shabbat, but all will be at different services. We do not have kids from the same school district and grade celebrate on the same Shabbat, and we do not initially assign out vacation weekends or Passover unless you ask for it.

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DIFFERENCES BETWEEN SERVICES LENGTH AND DIFFICULTY The Saturday morning service is traditional, over three hours long, almost all in Hebrew, and is often harder for children to learn. Other services are about one hour long, and more "flexible" — we can make them more or less challenging, depending on the ability and motivation of both the student and the family.

SHABBAT RESTRICTIONS Please remember that no live or recorded music is allowed in the Synagogue building on Shabbat, and no photography/video. Photos and video are permitted at all other times.

SHUL REGULARS On Saturday morning (and possibly Friday night), other members of our Congregation will be present along with your guests. At other times, only your guests will be present.

FEE There is a $1,000 per child Bar/Bat Mitzvah fee; $500 is due when a date is confirmed and the balance of the fee will be billed to you in the year prior to your service.

SECURITY/MAINTENANCE/KIDDUSH B’nei Mitzvah families who select a service other than a Saturday morning will receive an additional charge of $500 (due no later than one year prior to your date). This charge will help us to cover the growing security and building maintenance costs associated with these services.

Families may donate to support the congregational Kiddush on their B Mitzvah weekend.

Donations at various levels are listed in the Friday Shabbat Shalom e-blast and announced from the bima during Shabbat morning services. Donations at the “supporter“ or “sponsor“ level include extras. For more information about donating to Kiddush, please see page 9. Questions can be directed to CAI‘s Operations and Events Manager, Jill Bristow, at 973-226-3600, ext. 115, or jbristow@agudath.org.

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B'NEI MITZVAH SERVICES

SERVICE DETAILS

Friday Night

Saturday Sunset or Saturday Afternoon

Saturday Morning

Sunday (when Torah is not read) or Saturday night (Nov.-Dec.)

Su/M/Th, when Torah is read

50 minutes

Between 45 and 70 minutes, depending on specific date

1 hour How long is the service?

1 hour

SAME FOR ALL SERVICES

How much time is my child "spotlighted"?

How much Hebrew/English in the service?

How difficult is it to

(50 minutes if afternoon only)

3 hours plus

(usually 45 minutes) Some English

Flexible

learn?

Almost all Hebrew

Flexible, but generally somewhat harder

Some English

Some English

Some English

Flexible

Flexible

Flexible

Torah Reading

Your guests

Which part of the Bible will my child chant?

Torah Reading from Torah at another minyan, then at your service as part of Speech

Haftarah (Prophets), and possibly part of Torah Reading

Torah Reading

Torah Reading from Torah at another minyan, then at your service as part of Speech

Who will be there?

Your guests and maybe Cong. of 25+

Your guests and Cong. of 150+

Your guests

Your guests

Can there be band/photos in the synagogue after the service?

No, it's still Shabbat

No, it's still Shabbat

Can the parents give remarks?

Yes

No

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Sat. Sunset: Yes Yes, and during Sat. Afternoon: No the service as well

Yes

Yes

Yes, and during the service as well

Yes

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CONSIDER THESE OPTIONS Most families at CAI celebrate a B Mitzvah with a service either on Saturday morning, Saturday around dinnertime, or Sunday when there’s a Torah Reading. If you choose something other than these, you almost always get a first choice. You tell us what dates you like; we're not as tied to the Hebrew birthday.

These services are all about 50-60 minutes long. Your child leads most of the service, and the congregation will generally be your guests only. (As compared to Shabbat morning, when you will have your guests plus at least 150 other congregation members.) Exceptions are noted below. See chart on the previous page.

FRIDAY NIGHT SERVICE Many dates are available. We don’t read from the Torah at this service, but your child chants Torah passages as part of his/her D’var Torah (speech). The service is one hour, with your guests only (or plus possibly 25 cong. members if you want), and Shabbat restrictions apply in the synagogue.

SHABBAT AFTERNOON SERVICE, NOT AT DINNERTIME We have held many Shabbat Mincha B Mitzvah services as early as 2:30 p.m. and as late as 7:45 p.m., depending on the time of year. The service is 50 minutes, your guests only, Torah is read, and Shabbat restrictions apply in the synagogue. Assumes reception will be out of the synagogue.

SATURDAY NIGHT, AFTER SHABBAT ENDS, IN NOVEMBER/DECEMBER We don’t read from the Torah at this service, but the timing works well for some families in November and December, when sunset time makes the “regular” Mincha/ Maariv/ Havdala Service be “early” -- that is, that service would last from 4:15-5:15 p.m.

When that happens, we can hold a later Maariv/ Havdala Service after Shabbat is over, around dinnertime (say 6:00-6:45 p.m). The service lasts about 45 minutes, with your guests only, and no Shabbat restrictions: Photos, video, and instrumental music are fine. Your child chants Torah passages as part of his/her D’var Torah (speech).

SUNDAY MORNING WHEN THE TORAH IS NOT READ The advantage is that there are lots of possible dates. The service runs from 10:30-11:20 a.m., with your guests only, and no Shabbat restrictions: Photos, video, and instrumental music are fine. Your child chants Torah passages as part of his/her D’var Torah (speech).

SUMMERTIME, VACATION TIME, OR PASSOVER All of these work as well.

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HOW CAN YOU DO A B MITZVAH WHEN THE TORAH ISN'T READ? The logic is the same as for a Friday night Bat Mitzvah, which girls have been doing for decades. A child reaches the Jewish legal status of Bar/Bat Mitzvah, of age to do more mitzvahs, at their birthday, even if they never set foot in a synagogue. So why the ceremony? We're celebrating that our child is of age to do more mitzvahs, because we think doing mitzvahs is great! And our children are showing that they are worthy of this privilege and responsibility by leading part of a worship service. That "celebration-of-mitzvah-worthiness" is at the core of any service your child might help lead — whether Friday night, Saturday, Sunday, or weekday.

IF THE TORAH ISN'T READ, WOULD MY CHILD HAVE AN ALIYA AT SOME OTHER TIME? Yes. Usually near the ceremony, and usually with immediate family.

THE HARDEST DATES TO SCHEDULE: SUNDAYS AND WEEKDAYS WHEN THE TORAH IS READ If this kind of service isn’t what you want, skip this page. But if it is what you want, please read this!

Remember, you can have a B Mitzvah ceremony on any Sunday or weekday morning, even if you don't read from the Torah. But when do we read from the Torah, besides Shabbat? The Torah is read every Monday and Thursday morning, and on a few Sundays during the year.

In past years, many families have asked for those few Sundays. We assign these dates to whomever has the closest Hebrew birthday. (And by Jewish law, boys cannot use a date that is before their 13th Hebrew birthday, but girls can.)

TWO morning services can be held on each of these days — one starting at 9:00 a.m., and one at 10:30 a.m. (If you can commit now to using the synagogue building for your reception, you get preference in determining the time of your service).

SUNDAYS AND WEEKDAYS IN 2027 WHEN THE TORAH IS READ JANUARY 18, 2027 FEBRUARY 7, 2027 FEBRUARY 15, 2027 APRIL 25, 2027 JUNE 6, 2027 MAY 31, 2027 SEPTEMBER 6, 2027 OCTOBER 17, 2027 OCTOBER 31, 2027 NOVEMBER 25, 2027 DECEMBER 26, 2027 WWW.AGUDATH.ORG

MONDAY SUNDAY MONDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY MONDAY MONDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY THURSDAY SUNDAY

MLK DAY ROSH HODESH ADAR I PRESIDENTS‘ DAY PASSOVER ROSH HODESH SIVAN MEMORIAL DAY LABOR DAY 2ND DAY SUKKOT (3 HOUR SERVICE) ROSH HODESH CHESHVAN THANKSGIVING DAY HANUKKAH

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OTHER THINGS TO CONSIDER B MITZVAH SERVICE IN ISRAEL? We can work with your child no matter where your ceremony is held. Some families have done a ceremony in Israel only, and some have done one there and one here.

There are many ways to do this in Israel — speak to Cantor Caplan.

DOES EVERY FAMILY MAKE A "BIG" CELEBRATION? No, not at all. Families in our congregation celebrate a child's B Mitzvah in all kinds of ways, and since the pandemic, families have become even more creative.

We personally have seen all the following (in no particular order): Beautiful reception right here at CAI Coffee, cake, and shmoozing after the service — nothing more Kiddush in synagogue Teen Lounge, Mobile Game Parties, Laser Tag events, or Pool Party to follow Party in catering hall, country club, or event space of your choice Family celebrates with trip to Israel Everyone comes to house after services for food and schmoozing or backyard gathering This is by no means an exhaustive list. The point is that you don't have to celebrate in any one prescribed way. There are many options, and members of our community have done them all.

WE HAVE RELATIVES WHO DON’T DRIVE ON SHABBAT. IS THERE A HOTEL WHERE THEY CAN STAY? There’s not a hotel within walking distance of the synagogue, but as a congregation, we take seriously the mitzvah of Hachnasat Or’chim, Welcoming Guests. To that end, about 25 families who live fairly near the synagogue — including the Caplans — have already committed to host Shabbat guests for a celebration such as yours. We are happy to help arrange this.

PLEASE SEND IN YOUR ONLINE RESPONSE FORM BY FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 9, 2024.

CLICK HERE TO FILL OUT THE FORM

The process takes several weeks, and then we will get back to you to confirm your date. Please ask us any questions! We are here to help you with this!

CLICK HERE FOR COMMONLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Please direct all of your B Mitzvah related questions to bmitzvah@agudath.org.

TO CONFIRM YOUR CHILD'S HEBREW BIRTHDAY, VISIT HEBCAL.COM

Cantor Joel Caplan 973-226-3600 cantor@agudath.org

WWW.AGUDATH.ORG

Jill Bristow Operations & Events Manager 973-226-3600 jbristow@agudath.org

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WAYS TO COMMEMORATE THE BAR/BAT MITZVAH THE TREE OF LIFE - ‫עץ חיים‬

Share the joy by inscribing your family simcha on our Tree of Life.

A permanent dedication in honor of the B Mitzvah child will be remembered forever in our sacred hallways.

Celebrate Brit Milah, Simchat Bat, Bar/Bat Mitzvah, weddings, anniversaries, graduations, or other simcha occasions.

‫ע‬ ‫ץ חיים‬

A Leaf, Apple, Dove, or Foundation Stone may be inscribed to mark or commemorate the joyous events in the your family.

Honor parents, children, family, or friends. Leaves may be inscribed in someone's name or in honor of a special event.

$418 $900 $1200 $5000

Leaf Apple Dove Foundation Stone

Please click HERE to order your inscription on the Tree of Life.

DONATIONS TO DISCRETIONARY FUNDS

You may choose to make a donation to the Discretionary Funds of CAI's Clergy. Each Clergy member has his/her own Discretionary Fund: A synagogue fund that the Clergy use in order to support communal needs by offering assistance to individuals, organizations consistent with CAI’s tax exempt status, and for educational purposes.

If you would like guidance on a suggested donation amount to Discretionary Funds of Rabbi Lucas, Rabbi Blumenthal, Cantor Caplan, or Susan Werk in honor of your child's Bar/Bat Mitzvah, please email bmitzvah@agudath.org.

KIDDUSH SPONSORSHIP:

Sponsoring the Kiddush is a wonderful opportunity to honor and share the simcha with the CAI community. Questions can be directed to CAI‘s Operations and Events Manager, Jill Bristow, at 973-226-3600, ext. 115, or jbristow@agudath.org.

$1800 $500-$1799 $108-$499 $18 minimum

Kiddush Sponsor Kiddush Supporter Kiddush Contributor Kiddush Friend

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VIDEO RECORDING

We have partnered with Quantum Cat Media for our event livestreaming and recording services and are happy to offer the following options to our B'nei Mitzvah families.* FREE Split screen livestreaming and recording (Regular Saturday morning service setup) $150 Isolated recording from one camera view $200 Isolated recording from two camera views $850 Live camera operation plus isolated recording with two camera views (Only for non-Shabbat services) Additional post-production editing available upon request.

*Only available for services held in CAI's Sanctuary

To make arrangements for your livestream and video recording needs, please email bmitzvah@agudath.org

On Your Child Becoming A B'Nei Mitzvah In 2027!

Congregation Agudath Israel 20 Academy Road, Caldwell NJ 07006 973-226-3600 www.agudath.org