Confidence Is Jan. 2022

Confidence is The Magazine

January, 2022

Promo issue

Dana Hammond

Editor, Author, Visionary

Meet Your Intimate Bestie

CTRL + ALT + DEL

by LaRonda Humphrey

Peace By Peacue

by Taaj Freeman

Ctrl+Alt+Del by: LaRonda Humphrey

And just like that- it’s a new year! A new year and a new chance to get it right-whatever your ‘it’ is.

Every year, we make resolutions to improve, whether it’s losing weight, being a better steward of our finances, becoming more spiritually grounded, or finding what we hope to be true love. Our intentions are sincere (or at least that’s what we tell ourselves), and we’re off to a running start.

You’re determined to have a better year than the one before. You’re determined to reach your goal by any means necessary. Then you hit a wall!

Now what? You find yourself doing the exact same things you did in the past, Why? Because that’s all you know.

We’re taught at an early age that if you work hard enough, you can have all of the things you dream about. But when you look back over your life all you see is loss, failure and disappointment. Somehow, that grand life you were supposed to live is riddled with drama, trauma, dysfunction, and toxicity which leaves you feeling empty. But believe it or not, emptiness is a good place to start on your journey of self-fulfillment.

Stop exhausting yourself and your resources trying to fill the emptiness with people and things that don’t fit into your purpose or your plan. Stop doing the same thing over and over again that didn’t work or didn’t bring you some type of peace or solace. Doing the same thing over and over and getting the same mediocre results is called insanity. I call it the Copy+Paste Effect. Now, don’t get me wrong. Sometimes we can Copy+Paste and edit- keep doing those things that are working for you and revamping those things that could work better if you put in more work or effort. Look at the areas of your life where there is already abundance and start realizing that even a painful life full of loss and disappointments can also be rich and fulfilling and worthy of living.

To get to this stage of your redevelopment, major adjustments need to be made. In other words, we need to be able to Cntrl+Alt+Del the things in our lives that aren’t working for us because those things are dead weight and will slow down your growth process. Some people and things must be terminatedTHEY GOTTA GO!!

Have you ever been on your computer and the program that you’re in, just won’t respond the way it should? You had to hit Cntrl+Alt+Del to get to the task manager to terminate that program and then you were able to end it, Your internet may have started to run faster and all of the other programs ran more smoothly. That’s literally what it feels like to let go of people or situations that aren’t “responding”. I think we’ve all had those relationships with people that we held on to that really didn’t benefit us at all. They were full of stress, heartbreak, hurt feelings, broken promises, and all the other things that slowed down our progress.

It would be awesome if all we had to do was simultaneously hold down three buttons to gather ourselves. If only it was that easy.

But I got you! Let me break it down for Ya'll...., Control(Ctrl) and take charge of what you have authority over. Control your thoughts, words and actions. The power of life and death is in the tongue.

Realize we give life to situations when we speak on them whether negative or positive. You have the say so for what you will and will not allow in your life.

Alternate(Alt) what does not fit your desire to be better and do better.

Sometimes we have to admit that we are the toxic one in situations. Taking your own inventory and self-correcting is both needed and necessary. Change your attitude about people and situations that you have no power over. To alternate is to replace one thing with something else more suited.

Delete (Del) those things that that are dead weight and slowing down your growth process. After taking control and finding an alternative, or taking control and realizing that the alternative doesn’t work (because sometimes task manager doesn’t work), there comes the time to delete if the situation serves NO PURPOSE and it’s only slowing down your progress.

Remove or erase those people and things.

There comes a point when rationality takes control and your feelings are pushed aside, because our feelings for people and situations is what keeps us stuck. Taking time to actually assess the things that are going on in your life, the things that don’t bring you happiness and peace is essential on your journey. At the end of the day, the goal is to live a life as abundantly as possible and continue to be your Best YOU! Anything that threatens that has to go!

Don’t be afraid to Alt+Ctrl+Del in real life!!

Chevy 1967 C-10

@rigquinneyiii

Peace by Piece BY: TAAJ FREEMAN 7:01 pm on a frigid, Sunday evening. It's the second day of January, and the twenty fourth day of me living in my new home. Everything is different here. The sound of neighbors rushing out of their doors, and into the arms of a prickly world. The sirens that shriek and spill that obnoxious shade of red everywhere, all hours of the night.

The wind whipping against my tiny bedroom window, with the force of a heavy hand against the belly of a bass drum in a marching band. Just different. The awkward newness is overwhelming. Plus, my recent rekindling with an old flame was a total "burn-out" disaster! The cold weather is testament that some things need to stay "on ice". Yet, there's a part of me yelling, "Whhhhhhy?!" This is normally the time I'd be done with dinner, bathed, securing my bonnet for the night, and checking my series of alarms at 4, 4:15, and 4:30. A sista clocks in at 5 am! Tonight, however, I'm laying across my unmade bed. The pillows are somewhere...anywhere but near my head. I scan the entire room. A sea of never-ending boxes! Nice! The living room? Boxes. Kitchen?

Boxes. And more boxes. Bags. And more bags. And bags under my not-so-bright eyes. I took a break to just rest my eyes from the piles of hangers. Piles of shoes. Clothes strewn about, from the left side of my queenly chambers to the east side of Tokyo.

Emotions and questions swinging from an invisible chandelier. I don't even have a ceiling fan. I am tired. I am not in the headspace for unpacking. Truth is, the failed relationship was just as unexpected as the move; I wasn't ready to uproot from my COMFORTABLE and ROUTINE life and start over, again. On either occasion. I work 12 hour shifts and have other commitments during the week. This is overwhelming! But I'm reminded of the Rule of 5, for times like this... I read somewhere about these 5 questions wrapped in one, that help you gain peace quickly... So, I attempt to bring my mind back from being stretched, as my body is stretched across metallic gold and white polka dot sheets. You would think this is Twister the way my left leg slightly hangs away from the bed, and my right foot tucks under it, and flows perfectly with the dots.

Ha! 1. How will I feel about not having this place "fixed" up yet, tomorrow? 2) How will I feel about it a week from now? 3)In a month? 4) In a year? 5) In 5 years? Ahhhhh... A breath of fresh epiphany! 1) Maybe I'll feel the same, I think. And I slowly raise up from my padded place of non-stop mental pacing...to open another box. 2) I will have most of the wall art up in a week, no biggie! 3) A month from now, I will host a dinner party!

And I'll probably meet my husband on aisle 10, while shopping for the food! 4) Ha! I'll be getting my deposit back in a year! 5) I won't even remember the apartment number. I reach for a hanger and stuff its mouth with my corduroy, wide-leg slacks like the champion of vintage fashion that I am! I realize even in this moment that some things happen by DESIGN, and some things happen by CHOICE. So as I pick up one plate, unwrap one candelabra, hammer one nail into the wall, grab one bra, and hide it like silken treasure in my dresser, I am making something happen one piece at a time. ONE PIECE AT A TIME. ONE. PIECE. AT. A. TIME. PIECE BY PIECE. PEACE BY PIECE.

Some time ago, when my 5 yr old nephew first saw that I'd bought him a puzzle, he was excited but a little discouraged. He could see his one of his favorite characters on the box, yet when he opened the box, there were so many PIECES... ONLY 24, but to a 5 year old, a thousand! He asked, "Wait, how do I make the picture?", while grabbing one piece... I grabbed a puzzle piece too, and sat beside him, told him to "study the picture", and then I said, "PIECE BY PIECE". When he realized there was actually a pattern and method to follow, I didn't need to assist him. The puzzle came together, piece by piece! Opening the boxes containing my material possessions, in a season where things have been curve-ballish, well it felt just like the kids puzzle... Like a thousand pieces! How do I make the "picture"? How do I complete this task? How do I make the end result look like the vision I have? Even with regret and a big, hovering WHHHHHHY present, how do I bring my life back to order? How do I find PEACE in the midst of all these pieces? Finding peace is no easy task. Especially if you're confronted with more than one challenge. It can feel like all the bullies in the galaxy showed up at exactly 3:05 pm, in front of your last class! Yikes! But the Bible offers ways to know what peace, and joy truly are — even in times of uncertainty, and turmoil. Even when life's bullies show up like a town mob. God wants to bestow peace onto those who trust Him. Isaiah 26:3 says, "You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you." And sometimes, talking to your soul is helpful! Especially when it feels like an internal battle is happening. Sometimes, saying to it, PEACE BE STILL, while employing the RULE OF 5, is enough to carry you to the next day, week, month, year, or five years! The battle CAN BE WON! Even if it means disengaging or totally disconnecting from things and people that declare war on your peace. “Peace is the only battle worth waging”-Albert Camus In other words, fight for it by taking it back, and divorcing anything that disrupts it! If that is a process, then by all means, fight! Take back territory of the mind, body, and spirit!

One piece at a time! Open every box, every bag, every drawer, every dormant compartment and REBUILD your life, just as I'm doing... PEACE by piece!!! In a week, I will still be combing over the area I'm now a resident of. That is by design.

I have always been one to observe. In a month, I will be learning the names of the other residents, and possibly swapping gumbo recipes. That is by choice. I have even thought to make PEACE with my choice of neighborhood (just to save money). I mean it's not Baldwin Hills, but I'm not watching Michael Evans dribble a basketball in steel elevator while i ride up to my humble abode, either. It's the pursuit of peace for me! "The Lord lift up his face to you and grant you peace." — Numbers 6:26

Well "They" say, "Curiosity killed the cat" I beg to differ.

Curiosity can lead to many great situations.

This column will be your go-to for all things sexual health and intimacy related.

If you have questions about Adult pleasures and items utilized behind closed doors send an email to the address below and we will post your question with an answer.

Teasa Garrett will knock your socks off with her Open DIalogue about intimate adult topics. You will look forward to this page monthly. Stay Tuned. Teasa is an Adult intimacy advisor, owner and operator at Lavish Transport, LLC., Lavish Bundles, Lavish Shapes. website is www.lavishtranportllc.com *Email to editor@confidenceis.org All submissions will remain anonymous and CONFIDENTIAL. Please submit Your Social media account to confirm your age when submitting your question. We reserve the right to deny the posting of any material that is submitted to our email account.

You Are Right Where You Need To Be by: Rae Davenport

Are you in a season of waiting?

Maybe you are waiting on a prayer to be answered, a baby to be conceived, a problem to be resolved, a chance to be promoted, a debt to be paid off or a prodigal to come home.

I don’t know what you are waiting for – but this I know – during your season of waiting…

God has not forgotten you.

David was anointed King around the age of 15 but he did not take the throne until he was 30! And during that waiting period David faced a lot of hardship. I’m sure there were days that David felt forgotten by God. Perhaps you are even feeling forgotten by others.

If you are a woman with a big heart –then you have felt the sting of giving and helping others, and then being forgotten.

It hurts.

But I’m reminded of the story in Luke 17 when Jesus healed the ten men of leprosy. After healing them ONLY one returned to say thank you.

Only one!

Jesus asked the one who returned – “where are the other nine”?

Those other nine men, healed of leprosy, went on their merry way enjoying their new health.

Jesus was forgotten.

When we see that the Lord of the universe was forgotten –we realize that none of us will escape being hurt by someone who has forgotten us.

I find that comforting.

Remember this: Just because a person has forgotten you, that does not mean that your Heavenly Father has forgotten you.

1. God is going to provide your every need and more.

My God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.

(Philippians 4:19) 2. Nothing will ever separate you from the love of God. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:38 & 39) 3. He will never leave you or forsake you.

Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.

(Deuteronomy 31:6) 4. God never abandons his children. You are HIS! It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.

(Deuteronomy 31:8)

You Are Right Where You Need To Be

by: Rae Davenport

TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE CONTRIBUTOR VISIT: RAEDAVENPORT.COM

“Don’t Hold the Weight of Others” By: Jewel Ervin

Many of us are caring, considerate, loving, and selfless people. Being that can cause us to take on others PPF’s (pain, problems, and feelings). Instead of being a listening ear we tend to put their problems on us and attempt to be a life saver or problem solver.

Instead of praying for them we “attempt” to fix the problem.

But it’s impossible, God is the problem solver! So when we do that we start to feel down and bad and we mess up our days, weeks, or even months. So, from now on be mindful and make sure that you are listening and giving it to God and not listening and trying to make a plan. Remember! That God’s plan was already made before we were placed on earth so know that the ones going through is going to be okay. God bless!

Jewel Ervin is our youngest Confidence Is Contributior.

She is from Texas.

Her brand is "I am Strong 2021 Mental-Spiritual-Lifestyle Find inspiration @iamstrong2021

Be You FEARFULLY,

WONDERFULLY

MADE

Stand Up for what you believe in.

Stand out from the crowd, Be You Unapologetically, Make Your Creator Proud Be You, The Confidence Movement Website : confidenceis.org

It Is Time BY: DANA HAMMOND It is time my dear!!

The Time is here...

Time to stop doubting yourself.

What do you have to fear?

Time to stop thinking that you are Less, Understand that you deserve nothiing but the best.

You were born to stand out in a world full of that is fake You are peculiar, you're unique You've got what it takes So take my advice, Dig down Deep You will soon look back on rough days, as only memories, Be the Best you, as You as can be Rock the world, make it Twerk Because You my dear, Are God's Handiwork.

-Dana Hammond

Dana Hammond is our editor in chief. She is an Humble, Tx Resident.

She is married

to New Orleans native, Kevin Hammond. She is a Christian mother to 3 beautiful

daughters, Amariah, De'Marquisia and Jewel. She has a bonus son, Erin and Godsons

"Nugget" and Legend. She is the oldest of all 8 of her siblings. She has many nieces

and nephews of all ages. SHe is lovingly called, "Aunt Dana" and doesn't meet a stranger.

Dana Began the Be You Confidence movement in 2016 with a pageant for girls that encouraged confidence and sekf esteem through creativity and talent.

Dana Has expanded the Be You Confidence movement to authoring: "BeaYoutiful Eats" Recipe book Be You, 8 weeks of Self Love & Discovery Journal Big, Bold & BeaYoutiful Calendar 2021-2022.

She also owns and operates "Be You Inspirational Apparel N More", that has hosted many community events for adults and children, Dana creates and procures events that build the confidence of others and utilizes her platforms to promote other small business owners. She is a Radio personality at GospelRadioNation.com and KYOK radio in Houston. She also has a Podcast that is on 8 major Podcast platforms, Be You The Podcast. Dana is also a playwright, singer and CHoir Director at her childhood church, Greater Star M. B, Church in Houston , Tx.

Thank you for viewing this issue of Confidence is, the Magazine. We hope you are as excited as we are about next months issue. We will be spotlighting Ministry and Community leaders and Love, celebrating LOVE. Submit your favorite "Love" Story to Editor@confidenveis.org to be featured in next months issue.