Confidence is.. The Magazine

CONFIDENCE IS The Magazine

Issue 1 | May. 2021

Debut Issue

Gospel Phenom, Author Newlywed

Big Bold "SINGLE IN DA'CITY" Dating in New Orleans The Male Perspective

The Dressing Room with Adrienne Shanelle

,

&

Beautiful

Mrs. Kierra Sheard-Kelly Mother's Day F I B RFeature: OMYALGIA Miesha Weaver

Congratualtions Class of 2021

Graduates:

Patrick Quinney

Destiny Joseph

Charity O'Brien, RN

Nicole Wade

Amaya Toliver

Rayna Davis

CONFIDENCE IS Contributors

21

Editor-in-chief Dana Hammond

Rae Davenport Empowerment Jennifer Humphery Secure (Finance) Roshanda Brown Self Care Mental Health Thomas Calhoun, IV Healthy Hair Care Ardelia Jones Holistic Health Jermeka "Jook" Hammond "ReBoot" Single in Da' CIty(New Orleans) Quincy Brown Magen Hampton Fitness For All E. Le Verne Sampson Plus Size FItness Wendell King II AWARE Shonna L. Stoot Living Single LaRonda Humphrey Surviving Kevida Gued Healthy Eating Intimate Essentials Brad & LaToya Cheathon Adrienne Shanelle The Dressing Room

Editor's Note 48

This Magazine has been a labor lof love and a dream come true, I am led by inspiration and it is usually difficult for others to see your vision. However, with this group of contributors it was amazing to see the overwhelming excitement about the project. I hope that you find information that is relevant, useful as well as entertaining, I want to thank each of our contributors as we dive into Confidence is... The Digital Magazine.

DANA HAMMOND

Confidence is.. The Magazine

Houston, Texas 832-721-8550 | editor@confidenceis.org

Editor-in-Chief

Our Editor-in-Chief

Dana Hammond Confidence is.. The Magazine

Houston, Texas 832-721-8550 | editor@confidenceis.org "Stand up for what you believe in, Stand out from the crowd, Be You Unapologetically, Always make your Creator proud."

That's what Confidence is to me.

www.confidenceis.org \

LIVING SINGLE By: Shonna L. Stoot

Dating was new to me but I had to take a chance. After months of dating he would try to get me to explore new things and my reply would be , No I don't do that. Example, he wanted to just chill at a lounge and listen to music. I said noooooo, i don't drink, smoke or hang out with people, I go to church and straight home.

I don't party. That's the mind set I had. He would tell me there's more to life than just sitting in the house. Finally I decided to allow him to take me out and it was the best decision. We had so much fun. That was just the beginning. He started taking me places I've never been, the best restaurants, best shopping stores, trips and etc. One day I said to myself, this is living! Omggggg I've missed out on so much but that's how good God is, he's a restorer.

One day in conversation the question was asked, Let's get a house and move in together? I replied, ohhhh noooo we not married and people would judge me. I was taught better than that. My dad would be upset. Welllll, I called my dad god mother who's a spiritual leader and discussed it with her. She asked me what did I think? I told her no ma'am we not married, i need a ring first. She immediately started screaming at me, literally! She shouted, Get out your head and let that man take care of you, marriage will come later"! I thought about what she said, prayed on it, received my confirmation from God himself and moved according to His will not mine. Im glad I did, best decision ever!

I realized a lot of things I was taught growing up in life and church was wrong. I had to unlearn what I was taught an LIVE!

1) It's ok to date and not marry right away, get to know one another and when the time is right God will let you know.

2) Everything is not a sin. Its ok to have fun and not judge others for their actions

3) It's ok not be perfect, you will fail at times but don't stay there.

Get back up and start over

4) Its ok to trust again, everyone is not out to harm you. Pray and ask God to protect your heart and give you wisdom and discernment.

5) The church is in you, you don't have to be in a building.

6) Shacking is NOT in the BIBLE! When you find it let me know

7) Never lose yourself to please others, Please GOD. Rediscover

iamshonnastoot.com

your true identity and LIVE on PURPOSE in PURPOSE!

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MRS. KIERRA SHEARD-KELLY Interview by: Dana Hammond

is Magazine is on a C Confidence mission to encourage self-esteem

behind my book Big, Bold, &

I love your personality and transparency. I can see you playing and laughing to yourself when you're alone.

Tell me something quirky about you that no one knows and probably wouldn’t believe.

Beautiful! I would tell her to own the

Kierra: I talk to myself more than I

woman that God created you to be.

talk to anyone else lol! I spend

Do what you need to do to be

quality time with myself making

healthy but embrace your juice and

sure I’m good!

wear it well! You’re beautiful!

Happy, healthy, and whole!

and confidence. Give me something inspirational that I can share for the average plus size young lady who is struggling with accepting who she is?

Kierra: That’s the main message

Mrs. Kelly, Continued If you could have a conversation with one person past or present who would it be and what would you say?

Kierra: I would have one more conversation with my Nana!

I miss her so much!

Being Saved and single is Tough. You survived. Congratulations, Mrs. Kelly.

Advice for the Sista who is “yet holdin’ on” for Mr. Right and signs that he’s Mr. Wrong.

Kierra: Hang in there sis! In God’s timing, he will be on the way. When I let go of everything associated with my ex and our past together, that’s when I noticed Jordan. So I would also tell her to make sure that there is nothing in the way of your future finding you.

I love your family. I am part of a large family and I am That Aunt that may embarrass you with "Liveliness".

Which Auntie is not the one to call if you were misbehaving at school?

Kierra: Aunty Jacky is not to be played with! She’s a disciplinarian for sure. But none of my aunt’s play. My mother doesn’t either!

You were amazing in the movie playing the role of your Mom. Is there any point in life in general, where you find yourself sounding or behaving like your Mom and have to laugh and you appreciate it?

Kierra: Absolutely! 100% The older I get, the more I realize how much I am like my Mother.

How we stuff our handbags, how we enjoy living quiet lives and sometimes keep to ourselves, definitely our love for shopping and family time.

I’m becoming more and more like her as the years go by.

It’s so funny to me at times.

Shop: www.iamstrong.com

AWARE Wendell King II "Nostalgia” The turmoil settled by the time I graduated high school and entered college. Through experiences, I gradually dropped my aggressively “bitch-ish” persona, opting to embrace both the masculine or feminine parts of myself. There, I also came across the term “asexual.” It sounded suspiciously like me. So, I decided to no longer allow individuals the privilege of defining me but rather, I began teaching individuals how to communicate and exist with me.

After more research, and a moment of clarity, I realized that my Questionable Hobbies had nothing to do with my sexuality but all to do with my personal expectations of myself. While my life would be much less interesting without my childhood woes, I refuse to allow those experiences to guide my life today or in my future. I am a conqueror and in control of my path under the guidance of God. I learned to speak to the issue, pray for the strength, fall humble to my reality and manifest/meditate for the ability to receive and execute the greatness that God prepared for me even before I knew who I was to be.

Although many may not accept me they are learning to respect my sexual orientation. I feel like my relationship with my family has grown through time and space. My coming out for me was very liberating and it was also very uplifting yet seamless. It has been a long road and there are still many battles to fight. I remember the day I became comfortable being me. It was as if all the pressure and sadness were released. I am also more aware of just how much support friends and my family have been for me. I know that although my family and friends at times may not agree or support who I am they are learning to embrace who I am.

Besides, who I am can’t be defined by others still searching for their own truth.

When I think of myself, I don’t consider such aspects as gender or who I want to sexually share myself with—such shallow considerations, quite frankly, aren’t even things I think about daily. When I think of myself: I draw, I write and I watch a gratuitous amount of intellectual & spiritual documentaries because without these things my life wouldn’t be worth living in my opinion. I am completely numb when people call me “this” or “that.” My pure interests only exist in “what I do” rather than my physical anatomy.

This specific thought process extends well beyond adulthood.

As a child, my mother told me how fortunate it was that I was a “boy.” So, I decided at a very young age that I would be the manliest man among men, a king of kings. I tried to play sports; I wore stereotypically masculine clothing and started to refer to myself using male pronouns as a crown of glory. Yes, I was manifesting into a stereotypical Black toxic man. Even as a kid, I had this notion that code-switching was just a standard of life. However, I grew from an insecure 8-year-old to someone feminine in both character and thoughts. The effect was such that my mother believed me to simply be a boy searching for my identity, and most of my family chose to simply act as though who I was simply didn’t exist.

My persona was much more effective via my talents. As long as I was singing, dancing or acting I was able to have ambiguous illustrations of self-definition.. Out of habit, I continued with the male pronouns although I was no longer married to those titles. I always created rather effective, convincing facades to overshadow what I had not yet learned to explain. The men in my family oftentimes left me out of the more manly tasks while the women embraced me because I served as great entertainment for them. The entire time the one person that I needed to be “seen” by the most was too embarrassed by me therefore he ignored me. Honestly, that is where I found my superpower. Through the physical violence, I endured from him simply because I chose to exist in a world that didn’t understand me, I had to find a way to love and encourage myself. I, in retrospect, became my own father. No longer was I willing to sacrifice my existence to make another mortal comfortable. Of course, my mother did all she could have done to protect me but it often led to her being abused in place of me. That was my first time realizing the need to protect Black women from Black men. I chose to accept my beatings and on most occasions, I would simply hide my bruises from my mother to save her from his brutal attacks.

Then, as all stories go, the ice began to melt. The tides turned. People changed. I don’t remember how it happened, but suddenly I started living my truths unapologetically! My family became that much more curious with regard to my actions, language, and appearances. After numerous awkward attempts to shrug the inquiries off, I finally caved and no longer felt the need to be defined by individuals that lacked the capacity to understand that which I was self-learning also.

I learned how to love myself just as I was.

From my point of view, my sexuality wasn’t ill-intentioned at all because I was the same person as I always was. Yet, there was an outbreak of confusion and anger within my mind. I started lashing out at the world because I felt as though I had to fight to exist in certain spaces. I wanted to be acknowledged by my family, accepted by my friends, and adored by my peers. I wanted to feel loved.

Perhaps, I was a gay boy. At that point, my persona was at complete peace and I was ready to confidently live out loud and with no regrets. I realized that my strengths had absolutely nothing to do with my sexuality. I remembered that being respected was not an exchange but rather a requirement.

AWARE cont'd

As A Successful Dedicated Professional I have extensive knowledge of the Greater Houston area and have kept my hand on the pulse of the areas ups and downs growth and transitions neighborhood by neighborhood. Clients choose to work with me for the full-service approach ethics, experience and expertise I bring as a total package. I consistently demonstrate my ability to satisfy clients in the buying and selling of their homes, rental properties, and in locating rental and leasing opportunities. -Gisele Boudreaux "Your Dream is Our Priority"

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"Unshakeable Determination" July of 1995, at the age of 13, the world as Rae Davenport knew it would never be the same. A simple phone call delivered unexpected and devastating news. Her father had been shot in his home, while attempting to diffuse a domestic situation involving another family member. The caller didn’t have any additional information so his condition was unknown. Rae and her mother raced to her dad’s home to get a better understanding of what was happening. The 8-minute drive seemed like 8 hours. Upon approaching his residence, several police officers blocked the street leading to the entrance. The immediate area leading into his home was blocked by yellow plastic tape stating, “Police Line Do Not Cross.” Being raised in New Orleans, crime was a commonality so the yellow plastic tape was something that was easily recognized and an unfortunate truth to what occurred. The man that meant the most in the world to her succumbed to a single gunshot wound to the chest at the age of 35. How does a daddy’s girl live without her dad? Very painfully.

EMPOWERED

"Being raised in New Orleans, crime was a commonality so the yellow plastic tape was something that was easily recognized.."

Being overwhelmed with grief, Rae struggled to live without the man she never thought she had to live without. She wanted that love and being forced to endure the pain of not having her number one guy changed the person she was. Uncertainty, confusion, depression, insecurity, loneliness, and fear became a part of Rae’s everyday life. Nevertheless, life was still going on although she felt like she died the day her father was killed.

No longer having the attention, security, and constant love of her father, Rae searched for those characteristics in others, specifically someone of the opposite sex. The fall of 1996, as a sophomore in high school, Rae became a mother at the age of 15. On top of grieving, the responsibility of being a mother was ever-present.

Having a wonderful family and support system, and a new found determination to be the best mother she could be, Rae graduated high school with honors and enrolled in college to become a registered nurse. Rae graduated from nursing school in 2004 and moved to California to begin her career as a nurse.

After living in California for many years and having made friends that became family, Rae and now her two sons transitioned to Houston, TX to be closer to family.

by:

Determined to win even more, Rae obtained a master of business administration to prove to herself that she could do great things if you put your mind and focus to it. However, during this time, Rae was dealing with her oldest son being chronically ill, the youngest son being diagnosed with autism, and an unhealthy marriage.

After deciding that she would rather have freedom than to live in a marriage that God never ordained, Rae finally accepted that divorce was her best option.

In 2016, her divorce was finalized and she was on the road to rebuilding the person she could be proud of.

Gifted with many talents, one of Rae’s passions include motivating and speaking life into those that deem themselves unworthy to receive greatness. Having the gift of encouragement, she vows to use her gift to bring out the hidden places buried within someone’s darkness.

In using the gift of encouragement, Rae started Jump To Fitness, LLC as a means to promote a more active and physically fit lifestyle. What initially started out as a Facebook group has grown tremendously.

Because financial independence, control of your time, and generational wealth are of the utmost importance, Prosperity Nation was formed. Living in a day and time when multiple streams of income is no longer an option, it’s important to learn a skill set that you can do from anywhere in the world. One that gives you control over your financial outlook.

Rae is also the co-author of “Living Life After Divorce” Anthology that captures the trails, challenges, but ultimately the triumphs of a bad marriage. Life does not end because your marriage does. There is a great life that is ever evolving, after divorce.

In addition to being a registered nurse, Rae is also a motivational speaker, entrepreneur, life and divorce coach; and empowerment ambassador for the Fearless Storytellers Movement.

Armed with specific instructions from God, Rae is on a mission to uplift, inspire, and motivate millions to greatness.

Please feel free to follow Rae on all social media platforms: FACEBOOK: www.facebook.com/RaeDavenportOfficial INSTAGRAM: www.instagram.com/raedavenport_ TWITTER: www.twitter.com/raedavenport_ Subscribe to Rae’s YouTube channel https://www.YouTube.com/c/RaeDavenport Make sure to check out Rae’s website www.RaeDavenport.com

Healthy Eating With: Kevida Gued My name is

Kevida Gued and I’m a native of

Hillsborough County, Florida. I was raised by grandparents, and that’s where it all started. Learning who God is, work ethic, family, and so much more. Growing up I didn’t know what I wanted to be, I just knew I loved to cook and always found a way to give back. I worked in a wide variety of settings in the workforce but remained unfulfilled. I began to use my skill of networking and assist numerous people with the start-ups of their businesses. After some time I knew I had to give that same energy to myself. I began to seek God, especially after I obtained numerous certifications that weren’t producing anything financially for me. After getting the green light, I began to buy items piece by piece. In addition to sharing what I was about to embark on with those close to me. VEES (Vibrant Exceptional Entrees) is a multi-faceted food service company that provides nutritious options to show you healthy eating doesn’t have to be lifeless. VEES is leaving footprints and becoming a household locally, as well as in other cities and states. Outside of the healthy entrees offered, we have monthly givebacks. They are centered around ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder). We have been able to be a blessing in Tampa, Miami, and even Chicago. I’m living proof that you don’t have to be a millionaire to giveback. Just like my Loc journey, I wish I would’ve started my business sooner. Nonetheless, I’m humbled by how God is using me and what he has allowed me to accomplish so far. I look forward to serving you one day, blessing someone you know who is Autistic, collaboration with others, and even a Nonprofit to serve on a larger scale. Not only do I desire continued blessings and favor for myself, but for you as well.

Tips

Use fork to put salad dressing on salad as you go.

This will stretch portion and you will get to see how far it actually goes.

Plate half of entree, if large to prevent overeating.

Use herbs to season meat, will help reduce sodium intake.

Sometimes skip the dressing on salad, and use a fresh squeeze of your favorite fruit

Swap those fries, for a side salad when enjoying a fried sandwich of your choice to save calories

THE SILVER COLLECTION

www.shopsilverco.com Advertisement

SURVIVING with LaRonda Humphrey

Behind The Concealer was created to help others

Allow me to share with you 5 self-care tips that I

that are fighting the same or similar battles that I

stand by that are guaranteed to boost your mental

have, and to see that regardless of your past, regardless of what you’ve gone through, regardless of you being told ‘no’, regardless of you feeling like you’re not enough, if you push through and dig deep down to muster up all of the strength and courage that’s inside of you, anything is possible. I created Behind The Concealer to help those that are still in unhealthy

health and give you the clarity you’ll need on your journey. Make yourself a priority- It’s OK to make time for yourself. Figure out what’s holding you back and LET IT GO! At the end of the day, YOU should be your longest commitment! Embrace positive affirmations- The negativity you’re used to or your inner critic can self-sabotage you. Don’t let it! Here are some affirmations you can try: I love myself. I am worthy. I am beautiful. Exercise- Find

relationships develop safe ways to get out and for

at least one exercise routine that helps you release

those that were fortunate enough to get out, help

the grief, anger, and pain that can sometimes stem

them find their purpose and move forward. In

from abuse and old trauma (catch that ‘old’

essence, showing them how to #RemoveTheMask.

trauma. We’ll get into that later on). Some good

Personally, I know I hid a lot of what was

exercises to try are kickboxing, dance cardio, or

happening to me by ‘concealing’ it with makeup.

But I also realized that regardless of how much makeup I wore, my eyes ALWAYS told the truth!

Each month I’ll be giving you tips and the steps you need to take to get out of whatever unhealthy situation you’re in whether it’s an intimate partner relationship, toxic family, or toxic friendship. It’s time to REMOVE THE MASK! Domestic abuse and intimate partner abuse is associated with

even yoga. Journaling- Putting your thoughts, feelings, and ideas on paper is another way of releasing them because sometimes there is no one to talk to. You can always go back and reevaluate those things you’ve written about. If privacy is an issue, you can still write your thoughts and feelings down and once you’re finished you can tear the paper up and discard it. At least you’ve gotten that out of your system. ASK FOR HELP- Don’t be afraid to ask for help. It doesn’t make you look helpless or

depression, anxiety, and PTSD. Now is the perfect

weak. In fact, it shows just how brave you are for

time for you to start your journey because May is

seeking help and being open to receiving it. You

Mental Health Awareness month. There are steps

can need help and still be strong. The road to

you need to take so that you can prepare for your

survival is rarely short or easy, but it’s worth the

“next”, and your mental health and clarity are the

journey!

foundation of it all.

Mother's Day Feature

CONFIDENCE IS SINGLE DOES NOT EQUAL STRUGGLE

her

Miesha Weaver

MOTHER, AUTHOR, ACTIVIST

INTERVIEW

BY DANA HAMMOND

It’s a pleasure to have this opportunity to be up close and personal with A Mother of your Caliber that happens to be “single” as of the date of this Magazine issue. Who is Miesha Weaver?

We want to know the lady, the legend. What or shall I say who inspires you?

I'm always asked that question. I am inspired by people with a story. I'm different. I don't really look up to people. People who have overcome something. To be hit with something and overcome that, That to me is motivation. As a single Mom, we're often portrayed as a "Struggle Story" but that's not the case. All of us out here are not Struggling. We're out here going to school, running businesses, we are not All struggling.

How do you do it? Balancing Home 3 superstars, Work, & Entrepreneurship. Do you take the time to wind down?

It's a challenge and they say you make time for what's important to you.

I am a planner. So, I

take my Sunday to plan out my week, my month, my year. Planning is very important for Success.

Sunday is my "Jesus and Rest" Day.

MIESHA WEAVER SINGLE NOT EQUAL STRUGGLE

You are in your children’s schooling and district leadership. Tell us about your involvement and your future plans. We want to be sure to support your efforts.

Absolutely. I have always been involved with My kids because I think it's important that the teachers see a face they shouldn't when there's a problem. I've been room mom, team mom, in a program building relationships. This past year with Covid and the injustices that we face, my kids seeing it on that level. I don't think no child had ever seen it on that level and to see them impacted on that level. Made me think about what can I as a Mom to show my kids I'm fighting for them and that I can provide a world that I want for them. I started looking around for opportunities to get involved. After much thought and research, I realized that the local school board was ALL Male. I ran for office and won within a 1 percent voting difference. My opponent and I are still friends to this day. A Black, Single Mother nearly won office in the Pre-Dominantly Caucasian School System.

You are the mother to a young black man in 2021. Tell us about the conversations that you have with him in light of the situations involving people of color.

My conversations with my son are different because he is somewhat of an "old soul" He is very mature. He's thinking ahead. Setting a foundation in Faith. My children know to pray, they know scripture. Our faith plays a big role in that. Trials come but they also know how to get through the trials. My son says I am extra because I'm overprotective of him. Just for the same reasons, there are thing s that he is not allowed to do and He sees. It is sad that we have to teach our kids another set of rules. Now we have a whole new set for rules for being black.

If you could speak to a young lady who has children and is single. She feels hopeless and helpless. What would you say to her?

God gives us what we can handle. You would not be in that situation if God had not allowed it, therefore you can handle it.

Ok I am an advocate for Self Esteem and Confidence.. hence the name of this Magazine... tell us something Unique about you that no one knows and they would be completely surprised by.

I have gone skydiving. I am afraid of heights but I took the leap. It was so liberating. It's like I let the load of the world out in my scream....Once I did that it felt so good.

Thank you so much for taking time out of your busy schedule to chat with me. I look forward to hearing your response to all of these questions if you choose to answer them all. They are optional not mandatory, just what I wanted to inquire about.

Leading with Love

is. Congratulations on 8

I am married, thank you Pastor you tied our knot. My husband and I were out recently and another gentleman attempted to initiate a conversation with me in the presence of my husband. Your husband is an attractive gentleman. How do you handle those that don’t quite catch the glimmer of the wedding band when you are out and about?

years in leadership at The

Lady C: Yes ma’am he’s still

Greater Star Missionary

handsome to me after 27 years of

Baptist Church in Houston,

marriage. I would trust that in my

TX. I have known you and

present or not that he wouldn’t let

my Pastor Reginald

the conversation even get started.

McClain both for many

If necessary, I would embrace him

Featuring My Pastor's Wife our "Lady C" Chaneria McClain

I am honored to feature My Pastor and Wife in this first issue of Confidence

years and I know for certain that Pastors and their families are people

with a kiss. Never let another woman think she can Intimidate you.

too. So here we are to discuss some common topics.

I am proud of you as my Pastor's wife. I know it has

"I have the gift to sing"

not been an easy position to be in. You have grown into it Gracefully. If you could be any Other position in the kingdom, where would you serve and why?

Lady C:

I would serve as a greeter. The reason I chose

that position, I feel like it is important for people to feel welcomed when they come into the house of God. Simply because the first impression matters.

Both of you have parents who have legacies. Tell us the most dominant characteristic you have that reminds you of your parents. Which parent and how will you carry on that legacy?

Lady C: My mother. Mother is a strong woman of God. I have the gift to sing and help others. I am that behind the scene giver and will one day start back singing.

The world is hurting. So much is going on. Life can be very stressful for us All. We all have to be routed in Christ to withstand the storms. Give us any scriptures, words, quotes or affirmations that help you to cope and hold on to the Gospel in these times.

Lady C: My favorite quotes include "All is Well" and "God already knows" Exodus 14 :13 - 15 that teaches about Moving Forward . Exodus in itself means a way out. We have to remember that God is in Control at all times. He still hears and

To Submit your leader for an interview, email us.

answers Prayer.

Single He Says, She Says

Single in Da' City QUINCY BROWN JERMEKA "JOOK" HAMMOND

Our Contributor for this Column is a different type of Southern Gentleman, former Sunday School Teacher, College Educated, Fun Loving and NOT ON SOCIAL MEDIA. Go figure.

This should be good. Born and raised in New Orleans, Louisiana where he currently resides. We will hear his unique perspective along with his interviews and conversations with other men there in the city.

Jermeka is a New Orleans native. She will be providing her perspective on the single life from the woman that: Took CTRL of her life, DEL the drama, and ALTers her mindset.

Follow her journey back to

Modern dating is already hard enough. Face-to-face interactions, dating apps, social media, kids, etc. In 2020, a worldwide pandemic was thrown into the mix. Social distancing, mask, lockdowns, essential workers, etc. now work?

Think about it, it was already hard enough when you weren’t sure if the picture on a social media account was real, now you have to wonder if the face you see face to face is for you.

The removal of the "required mask" is an event in itself.

Will that sway your opinion of that person one way or another? Does that say more about them are you? These questions, along with many others help for both attitude and outcome in dating in 2021.

Various opinions of approaching modern dating will be explored through conversation mixed with Q & A in a casual setting with a variety of single men to see how they view the functions, results and general process of dating QB continued.

Jook.

"From HURT to HEALED and HAPPY" We must allow ourselves to feel because if don’t we’ll always go back to the point of pain. I was afraid to leave because all I knew was “comfortable misery’. As I began to heal I started to doubt myself this made me pray fervently. Being alone for the first in my adult life put a lot things in perspective for me. Comparing current relationships to your last is a trauma response it’s self sabotaging. I went from HURT now HEALING on my way to HAPPY

INTIMATE ESSENTIALS

by: Brad & Latoya Cheathon Every couple has a story.

It’s not always a story of happy moments, happy memories, or happily ever after. Sometimes it’s angry arguments, ugly crying, and feeling a loss of hope that it will ever change.

When you’re faced with yet another conflict with your partner, what do you do? How do you turn the situation around?

According to the Gottman Institute,“Sixty-nine percent of relationship conflict is about perpetual problems. All couples have them.” https://www.gottman.com/blog/managing-conflict-solvable-vs-perpetual-problems/

We have to recognize that in each relationship, there are two different people, from two different households, with two different perspectives on a lot of things- and we’re trying to do life in the same space. So naturally there’s going to be conflict. But sometimes it’s okay to agree to disagree. Agreeing to disagree can be challenging, though, because as humans, we all want to feel heard, understood, and validated by our partners. ….And, we pretty much want them to agree with us, if we’re honest. However, sometimes they just can’t agree with us because we have fundamentally different views on things, and completely different personalities. So many couples spend hours, days and months arguing over surface-level issues and principalities that are statistically shown to be unresolvable.

And that’s where we come in. We are Brad and LaToya Cheathon, and we are a husband and wife team and our business is The Couples Wellness Spot. Brad is a Certified Life Coach, and LaToya is a Relationship Coach, and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, specializing in working with couples. Together we provide 2-on-2 Relationship Coaching services to couples across the country, as well as weekend retreats for groups of couples or individual couples.

Our focus is to help partners get deeper, down to the emotional needs underneath those surface-level disagreements. We help them transform their relationship using activities and conversations designed to strengthen intimacy, improve conflict resolution, and build connection.

Each month, we will be right here, providing Confidence Is... readers with practical tips, communication skills, and conflict resolution tools for your toolbox. Just like in our coaching sessions, it’s nice to be able to give both perspectives on topics, since we will be writing together. So, whether you are the person who wants to keep talking during an argument, or the one who prefers to “keep the peace” and avoid conflict altogether- we have something for you. You can learn more about our story, and even take our “What’s Your Conflict Style” quiz at www.thecoupleswellnessspot.com. We are looking forward to sharing our lived and learned experience with you all to help you on your relationship journey.

The Dressing Room WITH ADRIANE SHANELLE

After

Before Our motto is a busy mom on the go. Her go-to outfit is a T-shirt, tights, and flip-flops.

She struggles with finding outfits for engagements. But today all of that changes

You must be ready to step out of your comfort zone. You never know if you don't try. To ensure that your outfit fits properly you start with the correct foundation also known as Shapewear. A Good bra is imperative to define your waist and curves.

https://www.iamkierrasheard.com/

SELF CARE Confidence Is Magazine: Let’s jump right in. Where did you get the idea for your two companies?

Roshanda M. Brown: Yes, let’s do it. According to the Health and Human Services Office of Minority Health, Black adults in the U.S. are more likely than white adults to report persistent symptoms of emotional distress, such as sadness, hopelessness and feeling like everything is an effort. Despite the needs, only one in three Black adults who need mental health care

Photo: Victoria Saperstein Photography

By: Roshanda M. Brown

receive it.

I came up with the idea of my Shop last summer when I saw the Black community in need of more options when it came to brands and products that uplifted the spirit and unapologetically supported our community. A portion of the proceeds go to the non-profit, Black Girl Smiles, they are

CIM: What led you to this line of work?

RMB: Short Answer? God and my Grandmother’s Prayers. Long answer? I have been interested in personal development since I was a young girl. I frequently found myself speaking life into

also dedicated to empowering the mental well-being of young black girls and women.

people, reminding them of the power they had and the ability to care for themselves. I often say I was born for this work because my birthday is April 29th, and the Bible verse

My Self-Care Alchemy program was developed by combining my passion for personal development, mental health, my community, and my natural ability to speak life into people. I aim to encourage clients to heal and take control of their narrative by being co-creators of their lives despite what they’ve been through. With the barriers to mental health support that I’ve personally experienced, I wanted to offer an alternative experience to those who are committed to their

Ephesians 4:29 reads: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

I’ve personally struggled with mental health and finding the right type of support with my struggles. Many aspects of my Self-Care Alchemy program, I’ve personally implemented in my life and are directly attributed to my mindset shift and success in my life.

mental well-being and healing generation trauma outside of traditional psycho-therapy.

CIM: What is Self-Care Alchemy and how does it relate to mental health care?

RMB: That’s a great question! SCA is a holistic approach to traditional Life Coaching with roots in various therapy, meditation, and counselling techniques. Being trained in multiple disciplines allows me to ask the right questions and gather proper information in order to help my clients identify, reveal, and face mental blocks with a customized solution plan.

CIM: We are so glad you decided to take the leap into full-time entrepreneurship by helping people rebuild their lives and supporting our community with their self-esteem and mental health journeys. Would you share some of your self-care routine?

RMB: Absolutely! I start my mornings with prayer, meditation, and bible study. This helps me to mentally prepare for the day by practicing discipline and stillness.

There’s a saying that praying is talking to God and meditation is listening. I find it important to create that space for gratitude and guidance. It’s inspired by my late maternal Grandmother’s routine of a prayer of Gratitude and prayer upon rising.

I am grateful to be able to teach clients skills and habits that empower them while being respectful of the clients’ feelings, background, and struggles. Having a complete sense of self boosts confidence and motivation and allows one to live mindfully as opposed to reacting from a space of trauma.

Self-care relies on increased self-awareness, which can benefit people who are living with a mental illness and help others strengthen their mental resilience.

CIM: Thank you for sharing that with us. What can we expect from you as a columnist in Confidence Is? RMB: I’m looking forward to sharing easily digestible insight on the hard topic of mental health and how we can incorporate self-care practices into our lives to support a healthy journey of healing. Let’s transform the heavy lead of the soul into a bright and pure spirit of gold™.

HEALTHY HAIR WITH

Thomas Calhoun In this article, I will share my experience and offer tips and tools to assist you with Nurturing the beautiful mane that you have been blessed with. I am also a Spiritual person so I will also share inspiration as it is given to me. Minister to the whole person.

As a licensed hairstylist and self-care advocate. I encourage healthy hair practices. One of the popular services that are performed is the Silk Press. It is Most important that care is taken to protect your mane from the elements as well as any heat or chemical processes.

A Multi-Benefit, Reparative Hair Mask Infused with patented OLAPLEX Bond Building technology, this highly concentrated reparative mask adds shine, smoothness & body while providing intense moisture to treat damaged hair.

Hair so visibly healthy, you can skip the styling. Based on Clinical Results: 2x Shine* 4x Moisture* 6x Smoothness* and 94% saw more Body**No 8 Bond Intense Moisture Mask Olaplex

FITNESS

"She Didn't Quit Though"

As a child I was always taught to believe in myself and always put my best foot forward.

This was my platform in which I stood upon for my everyday living. I walked with confidence knowing that I live a life with seemingly very little setback. You could feel my presence when I walked into the room even before I spoke. Life for me was great until life happened.

As life was happening to me I began to gain weight and my self-confidence was fading.

Even though my presence was still felt I tried to minimize who I was because I didn’t want anyone to look at me. In my eyes I was this morbid obese woman who dread getting up each and every day. I allowed life and my unfortunate experiences to take control of who I really was. I became the person that I feared the most.

In the month of February 2016, I stepped on the scale and to my surprise, it read 408 pounds. After years of battling obesity and being ashamed of my hair due to alopecia, I finally made the decision to live again. It was at this point I needed to decide if I wanted to live or die. Although I was in my state of depression, I decided to live. I also needed to deal with the real issues which I allowed life circumstances and my deepest desire to be loved to determine my identity in this world.

This meant I had work to do on myself (inward and outward).

I began working out with a trainer and eating clean. The weight seemed to dissipate effortlessly. Although I lost a substantially amount of weight, I still had to face the truth about myself which was needing to rekindle the love for myself I once had.

VERNE'S TIPS

"Every time I left the gym it seemed as if I was chiseling away every lie."

E. Le Verne Sampson Every time I left the gym it seemed as if I was chiseling away every lie, I told myself concerning me. In the October 2018 in support of a friend battling cancer I decided to shave my head. I was not only supporting her but my head bald was now an expression that I am now living in freedom. I have accepted everything about myself which include the good, bad, and the ugly. No longer would I see myself as my enemy but as individual who was my own best friend.

This was no longer my journey becoming physically fit but mentally and emotionally strong as well. I am no in way near where I want to be as far as weight loss, but I am right where I need to be as far as loving myself. This part of my life has been a struggle, but I knew if I wanted to make a difference in my life (and hopefully others) I had to put in the work. My life’s misfortunate experiences shaped me into the person I really was created to become. My knight in shining armor has not arrived but I perfectly content with who I am physically, mentally, and emotionally now. I used to wake up each morning wishing to be loved. Now I wake up every morning grateful to God knowing I am loved so I am free love.

FOR NOT QUITTING

Le Verne shares words of wisdom from her experience with fitness as a lifestyle.

Living a healthy lifestyle does not mean simply “eating right” and exercising. To live out your full potential you should consider developing a healthy eating lifestyle, doing some sort of physical activities that challenges you but will not discourage your process, keeping your body hydrated with water, allowing your body to rest day (develop a sleeping pattern is ideal), and daily meditation.

For those who struggle with defining or redefining themselves to living a healthy lifestyle, I encourage you to start somewhere and challenge yourself to one of the recommenders mentioned below for thirty days.

First of all, if you do not drink as much water as needed start there. Using a calendar determine your start date. The calendar will also be needed so you will be able to determine days that may present challenges to meet that goal for the day. Plan ahead on how you will be able to meet that goal for that day. Keep in mind you are committing to 30 days of being challenged.

During this challenge take note of how you are feeling and how you handle stress during this time. This will be key as you are moving forward to becoming mentally strong and physically fit.

It is also recommended to find an accountability partner who will hold you accountable for this challenge. The person does not necessarily have to join in on the challenge but is willing to do check-in and hold you accountable for your actions during this challenge.

Feel free to do more than one of the recommendations for 30 days. What happens if you do not meet your goal for one day? This part is totally up to you! Remember again this a challenge you made to yourself. You may start over the next day on day one or you may keep going. It took me twelves times to do 100 Days Challenge of 30 minutes of movement. On the last time I developed a plan and stuck to the plan.

After the 30 days you should feel a sense of empowerment to continue moving to make commitments yourself.

Well wishes and pray God’s best for you as you become mentally strong as well as physically fit.

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3 QUESTIONS TO LIVE A HEALTHIER LIFESTYLE

Living a Healthier lifestyle is one choice away and Together we will go further so lets start here.

Using The A Word

Accountability Partners A healthier lifestyle has many sources of water and faucets that needs someone accountable to turn on and off. Our water sources vary from tap being the big box gyms to alkaline being the studio gyms and everything in between.

While our faucets vary from our relationship with food to our workout plan, stretching and more.

For this reason we need to maintain and create new accountability partners from online to gym, work and church to keep a running list of various accountability partners for each faucet. Here are 3 questions to get your list going.

What kind of physical activity do I like the most?

EX: Dancing and Skating - Search & Join local Community studios or the support pages on IG or Groups on FB.

How many online & in person events can I commit to in a 3 month period?

EX: 4 online and 2 in person and what kind of events am I really interested in?

Who can I help?

EX: Fran - mentioned wanting to lose weight

FITNESS

By Magen Hampton

I am a Puerto Rican born in Bronx, NY and raised in Buford, GA speaking spanglish, eating arroz con pollo, and dancing every chance I get. Growing up I knew I could use my God-given talents to help inspire others, but I didn’t know how to, so I stuck with my passion and let life flow. By age 16, I was in various performance groups in school and recreational clubs. At age 25, I certified in Zumba and various other group class formats.This led me on a personal journey to live a healthier lifestyle and healthy starts with our food & beverage choices. Now I have combined fitness and nutrition and opened Protein Power Inc, a holistically healthy smoothie bar inside of LA Fitness.

CONNECT WITH ME MAGENHAMPTON2407

PROTEIN POWER INC

MAGENHAMPTON2407@GMAIL.COM

THINKING OF MAKING A SMOOTHIE? ADD GREENS, VITAMINS AND PROBITICS. MAKE SURE TO CONSIDER THE TIPS IN OUR E-BOOK TO MAKE THAT SMOOTHIE DELICIOUS. VISIT & CONTACT US

WWW.PROTEINPOWERINC.COM POWERUP@PROTEINPOWERINC.COM

Confidence is..

Bold, Black and BeaYOUtiful Photoshoot March, 2021

Confidence is..

The Magazine THANK YOU For reading the Debut Issue Our June issue will be honoring Fathers and Fatherhood.

The theme is: “Farther Father” Fatherhood requires more work in June 2021, join us as we dive in.