Venue issue 244 28 09 2010

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look out for an ema.il from su.vote@uea.ac.uk and vote online :.\; from Thursday 7th October - Monday 11th October.

For more information visit ueastudent.com

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Venue Edttor

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I Fashion Editor> Deputy Fash1on Editor

Fash1on Contributors> Kat Jones, Hannah BriH

Arts Contributors>Liz Jackson, Emma Lehane, Emma Webb, Hannah Griffin

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Creative Writing Editor> R:ob.e

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Creative Writing Contnbutors>Cannma Masohver, Chns Ogden, Anm Ueckennann, Ella Chappell }ll.lll~:.o.:Al.IJW.D:w I

Television Editor> a Jj

Telev1s1on Contnbutors> Ella Fa1rhurst Robert Van Egghen Tasba ~........,.......,..,.,_.....~,.,..., I Wired

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Wired Contnbvtors> DJ Turner. Vouthn H~thfleld WilhtRI Moran

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EHa Cbappell, Jack Bumw DviKin Vicat lrown Tom Mdaae Uz Jacksoa C11111111a Masollftli Fiena .....,. Carelilt ltdmtr. lt1h w,att

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filii COidribttlrs> Sllph McltRRa Jenathtn lrady, Jock lurrows (ame-Anne 8s4elt Daisy Fos1tr.

Katy Ou1gley. Tam loss, George Gilbert lra Lorandau

Comedy Contnbutors>F1ona Howard

Listings (ontnbutors>Georgma Wade

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Competitions Editor Competitions Contributors> Henry Croh

ma us n many ways; we n, we â&#x20AC;˘a<)Od in suits and we've also been seen hanging around the LC ntly. We aren't felons though, that should be made clear.

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28SEI='T10 I SSUE 244

FASHION concrete.fashion@uea.ac.uk

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STYLE oF A MAN, Boov oF A WoMAN Fashion Editor l<at Jones and Deputy Hannah Britt explore the growing trend of Masculine inspired fashion for the Autumn and Winter months.

I've always had a fascination with men's clothing. I remember watch ing Tom Cruise's famous dancing scene in Risky Business and going on to adopt a favourite early teen outfit consisting of my father's white shirt, bare legs and thick socks . I begrudgingly added boots to the ensemble when venturing outside ... I thought I looked amazing. My mum thought I'd gone mad.

My penchant for ma le attire has not diminished with time. I stil l find myself wandering through Topman thinking "what if... 7 " Freud would have a field da y with me 1 I am personally, therefore, very excited to embrace Autumn/Winter 20 10 . Why 7 Becau se this is the seaso n of androg yny.

I am often told that I am "ruining a lovely dress" by draping a mismatched checked man's shi rt over it.

However, there is method in my madness. By dressing down a heavily feminine dress, you can make your wardrobe more versat ile; eveningwear can be worn in the daytime. A figure-hugging, black, bodycon dress cou ld be seen as unsuitable attire in which to walk around the shops. Too dressy, too intense, just too much. Your priceper-wear of the aforementioned LBD is therefore skyhigh. Howeve r, throw a shirt over it and add flat worker boots and you have an ou tfit that hints at a killer body but covers up just enough of it. Used in th is way, your littleworn going-out dress becomes a daytime stap le.

The key is in clever tailoring, as oversized can equa l unsexy. Masculine-inspired trou se rs should look slouched yet cling to you in all the right places. If trousers are loose,

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cin ch in a sh irt to show off a slim waist. Always hint at yo ur figure underneath.

Androgynou s dress in g may seem at odds to t he womanly, curve -loving , 'underwear as outerwear' trend seen at Louis Vuitton and Prada. However, the two trends can be worn simu ltaneou sly for extra fa shion clou t .

Unbutton a loose white shirt to just be low your bra, (or, better still, your corset) to muddle the feminine with the masculine. If you've got it, this season, flaunt it .

When it comes to beauty, thick brows are back along with unkempt hair and minimal makeup. Think model du jour Freja Be ha Erich se n or Alexa Chung and you'll be heading in th e right direction . If the sli cked back hair of the Michael Kors catwalk is too intense for your daytime dressing, tone down a masculine outfit with tousled, come to bed hair.

So ladies, ne xt time you wander throug h Topman thinking "what if. .. 7 " take those thoughts to the till. Or, for added authenticity, take the trousers right off yo ur boyfriend (I'm sure he won't m ind ... ) and show him w ho reall y wears them well'

Hannah Britt

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Flic king through the glossy pages of a fashion magazine, Burberry's latest advertisement for the Autumn/Winter 2010 collection hit me in the face so hard that I had to do a double take . Here I was st ari ng at five stunn in g mode ls, all wintery, pale faces offsetting warm , chestnut hair and each one wearing a variation of creamy buttermilk hu ed fur swirled with indulgent, chocolate leath er. The jackets are a ca lorie-free feast for our eyes to gorge on , but I was finding it all littl e hard to digest.

You see, on dissection, the jackets are made up of two or t hre e opposing textures. Starting with the leather, it is crisp and crackling, dark and dramatic. Th en the fur, which is tightly knit, creat ing that 'babb led' effect, it is a dappling of clean blossom whites that one fears it wi ll grow grubby over time . Fina ll y, in some cases, there is evide nce of suede. Suede, being the third element, is always tricky when it gets wet, so should always be handl ed w ith care; a quality wh ich makes this treasured materi al even more precious.

Assemb led wit h th e highest attention t o detail in the layering of beautiful ly con tra st ing colours and te xtu re s, the jackets come in a variety of form from the long, more fur and suede orientated overcoats to snugg le into to the cropp ed, tight, leather jackets that neatly zip the cold out with a slicker effect. Each one is a clearly a masterpiece.

Su rely7 Yet th e first thought that entered my mind as my eyes ran over this new style of outerwear was that the j ackets w ere all a bit too reminiscent of the god-awful, ove rsized fur jacket of Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter from the classic sitcom that is Only Fools and Horses.

Well, where do we start with MrTrotter' He's short, he's

ONLY FOOLS IS FASHION GOLD

Burberry A/W

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Derek "Del Boy" Trotter, Da vid Jason in Only Foo ls and Horses

squat, his fingers are adorned with knock-off gold sovereigns, and with the gift of the gab and a twinkle in his eye he'd try and se ll ice to the Eskimos if given half th e chance. Doe s this sound like a man to take fashion inspiration from? More Peckham than Beckham, David Gandy he is clearly not. But Del Boy's jacket, if we break it down, contains the same elements . The carame l co lour of the suede, the lighter tone of the lined fur, the length, th e heavy fur col lar- it's al l there, staring us in the face.

He even had a black leather jacket with a black fur co llar and matching cuffs, another f eature of th e Burberry range.

Ha ving said th at, it's not only Burberry. Dubbed as 'aviator' or 'sh earling ' jackets, these babies are gradua lly filtering th ei r way into the high street, w ith examp les found in Hobbs, Topshop and Zara . Asos, Lispy and Acne also have th eir own take on the trend.

Obviously I trust fashion; I embrace it; I love it. So I slipped into Zara sheepi shly and tried on a came l gill et in suede with a w hite fur lining and ho od. As I slowly did up the duffel buttons I caught a glimpse of my reflection and did not dislike what I saw. Actually, quite the opposite.

Yes, the initia l reaction was that this piece was an extreme fash ion equiva lent to th e Ea st End wheeler-dea ler, but out of that context and teamed with dark washed, skinny jeans, a floral vintage sh irt and a long cream lace cardy, Derek Trotter was nowhe re in mind. Who knows, maybe the Burberry designer does have a fondness for the sitcom, and ha s box co ll ections of the DVD's, therefore, unconsciously, the character traits have been woven into fashion. Del Boy may be a diamond in the rough, but th ese jackets are pure diamonds.

Kat Jones

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FASHION

New Feature: What Were You Thinking?

ISSUE

Get The Look

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Watch out students!

We will be getting happysnapping with our cameras around campus this year. You may adorn our pages in the "Best Dressed" column or be warned as you might end up in the "What Were You Thinking?" column.

Is it the new member of Ndubz?

Oh no.

It's Alasdair We m, a 2nd year Music student. PVC cap, multicoloured nylon jacket and joggers ... nice."

Hannah Britt

New Look Jacket £39·99

River Island Gilet £49 ·99

Burberry Jacket £1974 (Start saving those pennies!)

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28SEPT10 ISSUE 244

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The Crucible is perhaps Arthur Miller's most fa mous play, and probably t he most stud ied as an exam text. Conseque nt ly, it is hard t o imag ine how even t he best of productions cou ld offer a diverse and engaging perspective on the play about the in famous Sa lem w itch-h unts.

Yet, this proved possible in t he Black Ram production at the Norwich Playhouse.

Despite a tentative first half failing to comp letely absorb the audie nce in the tens ion as the scandal esca lat es (not helped by an unfortunately distracting prop malfunction and some initially unconvincing characterisation), a complete sea-change was effected at the end of the first act in the hauntingly disturbing 'singing out' of those accused of being allied with the Devil. This established a terrifying weight to their accusations which was re-impressed throughout the rest of the play from this point onwards. Similarly the skillful use of video enabled the audience to probe beneath a superficial impression of the characters and acted as a powerfu l sil ent monologue, further building tens ion and emphasising the immense injustice handed down by the guilty few.

Markedl y po ignant sce nes included one from the t hi rd act where the girls discredit

Mary Warren's confession of their lies with harrowing m imicry, giving the impression t hat t hey are possessed and almost convi nci ng t he audience that t he weak and broken Mary is capable of incredible manipulat ion of their souls. Moreover, t he se parati on of John from El izabeth as he is led to the ga llows was exceptiona lly intense emotional ly as we are relieved when he invents a confession to save his life, but then devastated as he decides to deny it for the sake of his integrity, condemning him t o his death.

\la sensit ive po rtra yal of an event wh ich [ ... ] w arn s us of the horrific consequ ences of jea lo usy and cowa rdice" Though the who le cast were excel lent, some outstanding performances were seen in the characters of John and Elizabeth Proctor, Rev. Hale and Giles Corey who exec uted th eir ro les w it h particu lar conviction, all ow ing the audience to fee l the

same desperation, anger and mistrust as the ir characters experienced. The production was so emotional ly wro ught th at it bro ught some to tears as Procter was hanged , leaving an unsettling realisation of how the power of an individual over his own life can disappear inst antl y an d w itho ut mercy.

W here the witch-hunts cou ld seem to bear little relevance to the modern world, Black Ram threw the play's events into a wider context by reminding us that little in wo rld history has changed - utilising the famous quote "those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it", and listing comparable events in the credits such as the Rwandan genocide and anti-ls lamic hatred following the events of g/n in America. lt is important to recogn1se Miller's comparable struggle against prejudice during the Red Scare by McCarthy and the HUAC - which threatened to prevent him from ever working in Hollywood again if he was blacklisted- as these events inspired h1m to research the Sa lem witch-hunts.

Surprising, en lightening and vivid, the production did not fail to impress and could be claimed to be one of the most interesting and dramatic interpretations of the play for a long t ime. Th e company gave a sens itive portrayal of an event which st ill

~ liTERATURE>lYNN BARBER>AN EDUCATION Reve lli ng somewhat in the trend of transforming wo rks of literat ure into z bu dget -bustin g Holl ywoo d ep ics; An 1- Education endured excessive acc laim and success, with nominations for Oscars and ([ 3 even a BA FTA win for up and coming sweet hea rt, Ca rey Mulli gan. Ni ck Ho rn by's ~ screenplay captures quintessentia lly the sincerity of Lynn Barber's autobiography, 1- aptly named An Education. However, ~ w here it is only t he second chapter t hat ([ prov id es the plot for Horn by's crea ti o n, t he U original text differs, Barber's recollection is longer and somewhat more optim istic.

Her memoirs reco ll ect first ly her ti me growing up in m idd le-c lass 196os En g land , under the 'guidance' of her st rict but hopeful parents; her destination on course for Oxford and Oxford only. However ,it co m es w hen Lyn n meet s 'Simon', an older and charming man, wh ilst waiting for the bus after school one day, that her 0 life changes in a whirlwind to a "strange double life of schoolgirl swot during the I (I} week; restaurant-going, fore ign-trave ll ing <( sophisticate at weekends" Her bruta ll y u.. honest tale captures the reader into a sparkle of charm that no doubt similarly 1..9'

captured the impressionable 16-year-old Ba rber back then. She dances wi t h her reme mb ra nces of re belli on , discovery and ultimately mistrust, such is the deceit of Simon when the secret of his 'true' life is eventua lly exposed. lt is with Barber's honest y t ha t t he reade r captu res th e ful l extent and impact of Simon wi thi n not only her life, but that too of her once so quizzical parents, w ho just as breathlessly are enchant ed by Simon's charisma and t ales and whom Barber is part icu larly critical of for it.

Reaching the 'dream' of Oxford, it is here that Simon's influence spirals uncontrollab ly and the autob iography rea ll y forms a captivating and insightful read. Despite deferring her parents' academic drill, Barber still somehow ends up manag ing to successfu ll y carve a decent degree from her Oxford experience (something if only we could all learn). The biography follows through to her successful time at the somewhat controversial Penthouse Magazi ne (and other subsequent newspapers), along with the relationship formed with her husband David. lt is their love and time

wi t h one anot her throughout the duration of Ba rbe r's li fe t hat perhaps turns this poss ibly sou r, men- hatin g nove l into something of a love ta le: Barber's success d rawn greatly from the inspiration and love she shared for David , whether she realised it at t he time or not. lt ends the aut ob iography on an emotiona l and coincidental educational high for both author and reader; something it seems even Barber would not have thoug ht possible to gain from t he text prio r t o starting.

Barber's collective is a journey of education, knowledge and growing up, but it is furt hermore one of pass ion , inspiration and hope. lt demonstrates the importance of the cho1ces that we make every day and has inspired not only a phenomenal and rightfully acc laimed film, but also a biograph-y that seems enjoyab le yet hopeful to anyone wise enough to pick it up.

Emma Lehane

rings true today and warns us of the horrific consequences of jealousy and cowardice, highlighting the brutal, base nature human ity can sink to.

Liz Jackson

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LITERATURE>BANNED 800I<S WEEI< In the last week of September each year, by similar groups with similar religious t he United States celebrates written works complaints, no years after its original that have been challenged or banned for publication .

Some of the world's most cherished discrepancies in content; they rejoice in 'intellectual freedom' and warning of the classics have faced exclusion from the harm of censorship to the individual's literary world.

The U.S. government shunned John Steinbeck's right to voice ideas on life's harsh realities. initially Taking place this year between September 路 masterpiece Of Mice and Men, declaring 25th and October 2nd, 'Banned Books that it contradicted the notion of the Week' highlights the moving power of 'American Dream' and publicised failure. the written word, and commemorates the The European response to this decision was to award Steinbeck the Nobel Prize most challenged books of recent years.

According to the American Library for Literature, and the book remains on Association (ALA), the vast majority of GCSE English Literature syllabi all over the prohibited publications are criticised as country, whilst still at fourth place on the being too sexually explicit, containing an ALA Most Challenged Books of the 21st unacceptable level of offensive language Century list.

Books concerning racism also come (including racial insults) or being generally unsuitable for the age group it was under heavy fire from censors, as To Kill A Mockingbird (Harper Lee) and The Colour directed at.

Other complaints condemn storylines Purple (Aiice Walker) are frequent targets from a religious or political perspective of complaints that descriptions of racism, - Christian and Catholic denominational violence and rape are unacceptable for the groups have attacked the Harry Potter reader, regardless of their significance as series (J.K. Rowling) for its inclusion of periodical social realities. magic and sorcery, perceiving it as of The annual celebration of Banned Books Pagan origin and therefore offensive. L. Week may well be of great assistance to the Frank Baum's children's tale The Wonde路iful literary world. Bookshelves are becoming Wizard of Oz is still targeted to this day increasing filled with 'misery memoirs',

LITERATURE>DAPHNE Du MAURIER> REBECCA

From the famous opening line "Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again" the readers really do feel like they too, are dreaming of Mande~ley. Daphne Du Maurier shows her talent wonderfully as the audience is transported into a world where reality is obscured and deception and pretences rule .

The heroine of the book, after marrying a handsome, charming, although somewhat mysterious widower Max de

Winter, spends the entirety of the novel being metaphorically haunted by his previous wife Rebecca's ghost. Despite her love for him, she struggles to find her own identity and place in the marriage, feeling Rebecca's presence in everything she touches and everything she does.

Max de Winter is also plagued by his own problell)s and, like his wife, he too puts on a pretence and hides in deception rather than facing reality and being truthful both in his marriage and about his past.

Despite all of the lies and deception the couple truly love each other, and both are being rescued by their marriage: Max from his life as a bachelor and our heroine from their housekeeper Mrs Danvers, a close companion of Rebecca and someone whom the narrator cannot help but detest. lt is the couple's love that helps them overcome the disaster and destruction that occurs when the veils come off and the truth is revealed.

The book works incredibly well because of the skilled characterisation - the reader truly believes in and feels for the characters as they struggle through their troubles .

As such, it should be recommended on this basis alone and Daphne Du Maurier certainly deserves her place among the classic writers of the past. This reporter was truly enchanted by her as a writer and by the novel.

Han nah Griffi n

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for ourself and Let Others Do th Same BANNED BOOKS WEEK which concern a multitude of the same themes- violence towards children, sexual abuse, racism - that cause some of the greatest works of our time to be subjected to damaging scrutiny, but with nowhere near the level of outrage from prospective audiences .

The moral implications of censorship are deep-rooted and mostly for the greater good, but a society based on 'no bad news' is only a partial reality. Certain

C~lebfate Your Freedom to Read www.ala.org/bbooks

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truths about human existence have to be faced, however hideous, and fictional representations often provide the pathway L to understanding and awareness . Banning _j a book with insight into the horrors of u.. human nature does not cure the nature, but may increase the knowledge that helps prevent it.

0 EmmaWebb

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STUDENTS

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Full Time Stu-dent Officers:

Rochel Hol')dforth Academic officer UY)ioY).ocodemic@ueo.oc.uk

Tom

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. Commul')icotioY)S officer uY)ioY).commuY)iccrlioY)s@ueQ.Qc.uk

Rob e>loomer fiY)ol')ce officer uY)ioV'l.VV'lol')ce@ueo.oc.uk

bol') Youmoi')S Comi1!ul')it!1 oY)d StudeY)t Ri.9hts officer union.commuV'lit!j@ueo.Qc.uk

Part Time Student Officers: WiH Loc~

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Keillor Shokhrloza MUI'Cldovo L~io Sosa-Vof'.9oS Sophie t>eor'l So111uel okwuodo ~ &1Virot'\r7le.l'rt officer Ethical lssues officer lilterl'lcrlior'lal officer pos-GI'<lduote Studeifts' officer Students with Disobiliiies officer Etht'lic Mit'lorities officer . ·Or'l.eflViror)!1)er'lt@ueo.oc.uk uflioYI.ethics@ueo.oc.uk Uflior'l.intemcrtior'IQI@ueo.oc.uk f.soSo-v<ll',9os@ueo.oc.uk uflion.disobilities@ueo.oc.uk uniot'l.etht'licminoriiies@uea:oc.uk

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Black Hrstory Month rs an annual opportunrty for reftectron of the contnbutron of black people to every facet of soctety Its events seek to create opportun•t1es to constder past InJUSti ces and future possrbrhtres and to gtve black people a vorce rn telling their story

28SEPT10 ISSUE 244

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Salvo

Jeanette

Lavender

What comes first is the shock, a blank pistol fired up in the air to start the stumble: Now! Words! Run

Alii can think of are words but you don't belong in sentences, these words can't bring you back.

Lavender tears fall from his eyes scatter like ashes, a stolen memory from a neighbour's garden, a hunched back holding the memories of ghosts, a scent clinging to fingertips no longer locked, entwined in another's grip like ivy on a garden trellis .

like lightning, as it's through lightning we acquire them! As we are slow, it might help to throw some up in the air to start: Air? Rumble? Clouds?... Words run out almost in a flash, chasing a mindless storm for them as we are, so it might help to throw some thunder soon; the valley where words begin to pour out, almost in a flash, braces a violent storm : four warm hours let plummet rain, electricity and, of course, thunder. Soon, the valley where words began to pour gets full with words until earth is charged by force.

Warm hours let plummet rain, electricity and .. . Of course!

Imaginary buildings rise, still unsure. What that sight is gets mulled with, words until worth is charged. By force, the swift force of ideas (hot yet), we've won air, some light: imaginary buildings rise . Still unsure what that sight is like? Lightning? As if! Through lightning, we acquire the swift force of ideas not yet woven . A gunfight does not come first; the shock is play, blank pistol fire .

ChrisOgden

The Wall< Home A petrol rainbow yawns around your shoe and rain glistens down leaves, like fireflies.

Some snowdrops in a garden bow their heads with no advice to pass.

Car headlights. A crocus burns out in violet before it can reach the sky.

And then, uninvited, happiness creeps in under the draught excluders, bypassed By the snoozing cat. lt quietly cuts the pain from the photos on your shelf, Draining the colours to sepia . And, when you're sleeping, makes an unwelcome guest.

I wish I wrote to you more- but the post was so slow!

I wish I called you, but there was always tomorrowand now that there isn't, those words still hang on my lips.

All that's left now is the tea cup and saucer, still stacked in the cupboard .

Its early morning, and the birds are singing on the stoop, calling for their crumbs .

Five o clock strikes and the city is waking up, but your flat is still asleep.

There are no slippers slapping down the hall .

The kettle isn't on the boil.

The pap is still maize in a bag. Six o clock strikes and the city growls louder.

The empty windows watch the students make their way to lectures, the taxis roaring past.

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Footsteps short and slow , and a throat that longs to, but can111ot, swallow this lump, and can't choke up with every coarse and crawling cough, and a mind that wants to suffocate itself with a pillow full of lavender.

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Carmina Masoliver

Next Issue

By 4pm there is just the memory of you, quietly reading the newspaper in the living room .

A breeze rustles paper; for a moment you're still with us, but it passes.

There is a quiet sigh in the house like a long breath out.

Eight thousand miles away, my photo cannot see you anymore.

Somewhere in your flat, a light bulb has burnt out.

Anni Ueckermann

Wednesday 6th October UEA CWS -Speakeasy- - UEA Creative Writing Society presents a night of swinging spoken word from some of the society's best talent at The Birdcage, 23 Pottergate, Norwich from 8pm. Only ÂŁ2.oo entry

Tuesday 1.2th October it clings to your irises. it drives your car with calm hands. lt nestles itself In your ear. it rolls you out of bed into warm socks. lt lifts your hands into a ray of light to tease the dust into undulations.

And it's swept away in the light to come crashing against the wall Where it strikes a dull yellow circle . The moment is lost.

Find yourself with your fingers stretched out, thinking of something else.

Ella Chappell

Launch ofUEA Creative Writing Anthology - Readings and refreshments from 7pm at UEA Drama Studio.

Free entry. Copies of the anthology are available in advance. For further information, see www.uea .ac.uk/ creativewriting/anthology2o~o

Here is a photo to inspire you for the next issue!

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"I was working on the proof of one of my poems all the morning, and took out a comma. In the afternoon, I put it back again" Oscar Wilde, Irish dramatist, novelist and poet (1854 -1900)

Emall your submissions to:

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28SEPT10 ISSUE 244

TELEVISION

PRIME TIME: THE I NBETWEENERS REALITY: BIG BROTHER

8 E4 MONDAY 10PM (J)

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If you're interested in watching a smooth and slick, teenage hitting drama about the dispi riting relationship between a high earning city coup le and their son's noctu rnal spiral, then press the off switch now.

In mak in g The lnbetweeners, Channe l 4 has gone above and beyond the realms of entertaining television as we know it.

Viewers are captivated as Will , Simon, Jay and Neil try to fo rce their way up the social ladder, leading to a mult itude of hilarious misadventures . Hav ing reached their last year of sixt h fo rm co ll ege , it all ta kes a turn f or the worse when W ill shows off his questionab le dance moves. T here is much carefree banter between the close friends which, although some of the jokes are a teensy bit like playground snobbery from the years of Andy Pandy, serve as a sophisticated si de plate to quench your appetite for the slapstick comedy that has the Channel 4 producers squeez ing into their convert ible s.

it's easy to admit to being torn between the nihilistic qualities of Skins and the quirky charms of Will , who as a character is appropriately offensive yet also an adorab le nerd still clinging to his moth er like a safety blanket made of fin e silk. Moreover, if Simon's hair could be any spikier he may end up on the Sideshow Bob list of best comedic hair. Wh ich , be warned, does in fact grow on the prepubescent teens piling out of gym class on a Friday.

And so the trends continue, much t o bemuseme nt of the un hin ge d Neil who's baffled expressions suit a perso n of socia l misfortune . Even Will is made to look suitably dapper in his 70's waistcoat compared to the colourfu l tracksuits of Neil. Oh we ll, we all reach that stage of awkwardness; in fact, it still suits many to throw a tantrum because the girl they fancy is sti ll hanging around the guy next door.

Ella Fair hu rst

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A surprise hit for the summer was the BBC pilot Sherlock, averaging 7 million viewers a week and creating the first real buzz in British drama since the end of Ashes to Ashes.

Sherlock has been reinvented and tran spo rted by Or. Who's Step hen Moffat and Mark Gatiss into the 21st century, and the year 2010. The Baker Street address may remain the same but gone are the use of hansom carriages, rep laced by the modern day transport of the black cab. Mrs. Hudson remains the same, whilst Dr. Watson 1s now John, and Ho/me s is Sherlock.

Benedict Cumberbatch seems to capture the essence of Con an Doyle's Sher lock; his boredom, irritability, arrogance and un1que knowledge that all mixed together make him a charismatic, likeab le character. When paired alongside Watson, played by Martin Freeman, who portrays him as a worthy loyal ally, there's an undeniable chemistry akin to a modern day 'bro mance', with a mixture of frustration , admiration and charm.

There is a need to waive the fact that most modern day cr ime is so lved w ith t he use of D.N.A, something that the show, along with the audience, seeming ly forgets. Moffat and Gatiss make the tran sition from the original setting of Victorian England to modern day effortlessly. There are regular references to Con an Doyle's orig inal stories; A Study in Scarlett, The Five Orange Pip s and The Bruce-Partington Plan s are ju st a few that spring to mind .

The last episode of the three part series saw Sherlock bored and frustrated, with no cases to work on, until he becomes embroi led in a deadly game of cat and mouse before coming face to face w ith his mortal enemy Moriarty, in a dramat ic final showdown t hat left viewers ree ling with a dramatic cliff hanger, desperate ly want ing more .

A new, three part series of Sherlock ha s already been commiss ioned for 2011. If you've not already down loaded the series, or sent off for the box set, it's not one to miss .

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So B1g Brother has come to an end. Feeling sad 7 Like it's the end of an era 7 Like there's a giant voyeuristic hole in your life that no amount of repeats or unseen footage can replace 7 Don't wo rry- there are m ill ions of ot hers j ust like you.

In a way, it sounds like t he worst ever idea for a television programme; watching some narcissistic nobody with no sense of purpose going about their daily life on screen . And yet m ill ions tuned in every night. At first it was bill ed as a unique, ground-breaking social experiment but gradua lly it became, let's be honest he re, a way for wa nn abe individua ls to make a bit of cash w hi lst grabbing the ir 15 minutes of fame. This led to t hose who prefer their TV programmes with lashings of Elgar to ca ll Big Brother vulgar trash. it's hard to imagine a life before Big Brother. The programme that brought a new era to television and has since spawned many 'rea lity' televisio n programmes from X- Factor t o Strictly to Brita in's Got Talent to the extreme of the JUngle in /'m a Celebrity

to 71 Degrees North, t he latest extreme example, which invo lves dumping a bunch of celebrities in the Artic. B1g Brother has also arguab ly led to t he creation of the concept of 'celebrity'. it's w hy Katie Pri ce has a successful te levis ion, m us ica l and literary career. And no, the last one is not made up.

Incidentally, Katie Price never went on Big Brother, though her new husband did.

As did unknown glamour-model wannabe Chante lle, who iron ica lly became the first and only non-celebrity to win Celebrity Big Brother. But what a heart of st one you wou ld have t o have not to be moved watc hin g th e romance be tween her and Preston un fold in the house. And the house mates will be w hat people will remember about Big Brother Think of George Galloway. And Jade. And Nikki. And Brian. And.. well, there were others ..

With Channe l 5 desperate to snap up Big Brother, it looks like ly t hat it may we ll be bac k befo re we even rea li sed it was gone.

Robe rt Van Egg hen

TELEVISION

28SEPT10 ISSUE 244

11

EDINBURGH TV FESTIVAL 2010 The Edinburgh Television Festival is the most important event on the UK Television calendar, a chance for broadcasters and shows to give us a sneak preview of current and future shows .

Former BBC controller Jay Hunt (freshly poached by Channel4 as new creative chief) confirmed that Stephen Moffat's Sherlock would be returning for a new series in 2011.

Rumours that the much cherished Gavin and Stacey may be returning for a one-off special appear to remain speculative for the time being.

Moffat also announced that next year's Doctor Who will be split into two series, proclaiming that "It will come back for seven episodes at Easter, build to an Earth-shattering climax .. . honestly, a game changing event for Amy, The Doctor and Rory ." He also revealed that the next series will not feature any Daleks.

The director of ITV, Peter Fincham, who

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attended amid the X-Factor auto-tuning controversy, merely stated that he had no knowledge on the matter and that he was meeting with the producers to discuss how they produce the show . Since then, Simon Cowell has announced the banning of autotuning, and the incident appears to have been quickly forgotten with an average 10 million viewers still tuning in every week.

Jay Hunt also talked about future BBC programmes. One series to look out for in the near future is Outcasts, a new sci-fi drama set on the fictional planet Carpathia, where our heroes build a home from home.

However, as per the norm, not everything is at it seems. With mysteries galore, think Lost in space, and an ending that we all get... hopefully.

Finally the Edinburgh Television Festival hosted the channel of the year awards.

Below are the nominees and winners .

TashaGolley 'Terrestrial Programme Of The Year' Doctor Who (BBC One) Outnumbered (BBC One) The X Factor (ITV1) Harry Hill's TV Burp (ITV1) FlashForward (Five) WINNER: OUTNUMBERED

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'Non-Terrestrial Programme OfTheYear' Newswipe (BBC Four) 30 Rock (Comedy Central) Glee (E4) The lnbetweeners (E4) Pineapple Dance Stud ios(Sky 1) WINNER: THE INBETWEENERS

'Terrestrial Channel Of The Year' BBC One BBC Two JTV1 Channel4 Five WINNER: CHANNEL 4

'Best non-terrestrial channel of the year' BBC Three BBC Four Cartoof'l Network E4 >Comedy Central Five USA> Sky News WINNER: BBCTHREE

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Directed by Tim Seely Bard's tale of lust and hypocrisy in high plaef$!

Retired bank manager's walk on the wild side!

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FRI OCT 1ST: 7.30PM

FRI OCT 8TH: 7.30PM: & SAT OCT 9TH (2.30PM & 7.30PM)

THE LOCRIAN ENSEMBLE- TCHAIKOWSKY BY CA.HDLEUGHT

THE STRAND SINGERS COMPANY- LET'S ALL GO TO THE MUSIC HALL

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Membets of the Locrion Ensemble will be suitably ottired in Russian c.,;tume for this evening dedicated to the work of

The talented Strand Singers return with another helping of laughter and much-kwed songs following the selk>ut success of their music hall show at the Moddermort..et lost December. Favourites old ond new will et\Suti! o rousing show. Dress up ond join in it you wont to- ond bring your friends' All profits go to local chorit;..;

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19th century Russian composer f'\!otr Tchoikowsky, whose musk: is sotutoted with o strong, vigorous life that is inspiring to listen to Its rugged strength and hypnotic rhythms ore underpinned by heortfult emotion, strong melodies and richness of harmony. The locrions perform the sweeping melodies of the 'Souvenir de Florence', o selection from the ' Nun::rocker Suite', and the prelude from 'Swan loke' . There is olso o 'Sabre Donee' and Seryei Rochmoninotf's 'Vocalise'. www.locrianensetnble.ca.uk

All SEATS: £15.00 SAT OCT 2ND: 7.30PM

THE UPPER OCTAVE- MOVIES AND MUSICALS This popular group of local singers returns by popular demand with o brand new production. The Upper Octave will recn!:Ote the ~ of musical theo1re, intertwined with iconic movie theme$ during this two>-hour extrovogonzo. The progromme includes songs from 'Phantom olthe Opera', •ntonic', 'Carousel', 'Anything Goes', 'Chicago' ond the Jomes Bond films . Don' t m iss this m usical f00'5t ! www.theupperoctave.com

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WED NOV 3RD- SAT NOV 6TH: 7.30PM, & SAT MATINEE: 2.30PM NORFOLK YOUTH MUSIC THEATRE -THE VACKEES This funny ond moving story is set ot the begiMing of the Second World War, ond tells olthe 'im.:Jsion' of o Somerset VIl lage by 'vockees' • child EM>Cuees from London The musical tells of their scrapes ond od\oentures >kith the host•le villagers, and cent~ on o young boy. Kip, and his first experiences of love ond war. With memorable tu""" humour, pathos and a special appearance by 'Ginger Rogers'. this show hos the lot' Book. ond lyrics by Hiowyn Orom, musi.: by Corl Oovis www .norlolkymt .~

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SEATS. £10.00 (CONCESSIONS £8.00)

SEATS: £10.00 (CONCESSIONS £8.00)

WED DEC 1ST- THURS DEC 2ND: 7.30PM CHRISTMAS WITH ELVIS

WED 0CT 6TH: 7.30PM

The UK's leoding Elvis production ls back for o special Christmas show - and features specio guest oppearonces from

STEEMY DAN - REEUH' IH THE Y£ARS This fantastic I 0 piece Steely Don tribute will hove you ' Rcelin' in the Years' during o dynamic show featu ring classic tracks such os 'Rikki Don't l ose That Number', 'Do it Again', 'Haitian Oivorce ','FM' a nd ma ny more hits from the American jon rock legends. www.steemydon .co.uk

musical legends Buddy Holly, Roy Ofbison a nd Mori lyn Monroe! This outstanding tour production from the team behind the West End show 'Jailhouse Rock' feo1v~ original star Morio Kombou, and lvor Novelfo.oword winning musical director David MocKoy leading on incredible bond The show feo1vres more than 40 of your fovou rit<t hits www.parkpromotions.com www.lhejoyof6.com

ALL SEATS: £14.00

ALL SEATS: £17.50

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!.!> Those who fol lowed this year's E3 convention Z will have noticed that the bu lk of conferences 1- were all flowing in a single direction (I) the motion controller. Microsoft finally _j announced a release date for their controllerfree XBOx"36o sensor device Kinect(it will be on sale from November ~oth, for those who need reminding), and teased audiences > with early demos of'Kinect able' games, such ~ as the hugely anticipated Forza Motorsport ::! 4, the family friendly Kinectimals and a 0 variety of other (more light-hearted) games u including Dance Central and Kinect Sports.

As E3 entered its final hours Sony also. had an announcement to make, and, like Microsoft, ::r it was regarding the advent of their motion _j controller. Playstation Move was released for the Playstation 3 earlier this month on 1.1..

September ~7th, and Sony fans will soon be able to enjoy PS3 exclusives along the lines of Little Big Planet 2 and Ktllzone 3 with full u Move compatibility.

"So ... " - I hear you ask - "which one ~ should I spend my money on 7 " The answer ::! may seem simple (what console do you own' ), but it is evident that there is more to this debate than a quick solution (not forgetting that many garners do, in fact, own 0 both). The question can be refined to a small

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selection of factors and criteria to aid in the decision -making process, but ultimately it wil l be down to your own instinct: Which is cheaper? Which is easier to use' Which will have better games' Which will give me the most interesting experience?

First things first; Kinectis set to be a more expensive product (currently advertised at £129.99, including Kinect Adventures) than Move, which can be purchased as cheap as £34-99 (if you already own the Playstation Eye camera and skip on the Navigation controller), ranging to no more than £74-99 (if you start from scratch with the Playstation Move Packand pick up a Navigation controller on the side). Yes, it's quite a difference, and Kinect will leave you with a significantly lighter wallet; it will, however, also give you facial recognition, voice recognition, fullbody 3D motion capture and the opportunity to play with a greater number of players from the single device (this is where Move gets expensive).

The Kinect sensor combines a camera with a depth sensor to recognise players facially and allow the device to see the room in 3D (even with the lights off - late night gaming anyone 7 ), and when this is paired with the multi -array microphone (which will

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Format: Xbox 360 Release Date: Out Now (I) 1- Price : £37-99 (Standard) /£54 -99 (Limited)

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In 200~, Halo: Combat Evolved changed the face of console First Person Shooters (FPSs) forever. In 2004 Halo 2 showed the industry Z how online play should be done, and in o 2007 Halo 3 brought the ability to share user-generated content with the rest of the I (I) world . Halo's developer, Bungie, obviously <t has a lot to live up to if Halo: Reach is to u.. best any of its predecessors. The great thing is, it has.

Halo: Reach is fantastic from start to finish and, just like the original, your character feels incredibly insignificant for a Spartan super soldier. Taking place before the original Halo,the story follows Noble Team, a team of Spartan soldiers, in their impossible task of holding back the Covenant (a series of alien species bound together by their religious beliefs) invasion ofthe military planet, Reach . Along the way are new set pieces for the Halo series, the introduction of new weapons and even a couple of new enemies. Halo: Reach does, however, set out to approach the Halo universe in a new direction . Your character (Noble 6) has all the personality of a damp cloth, but your team mates are full of quips and personality with some of the be st voice acting for a FPS title, although it does fall slightly flat on its fa ce as the y st ill don 't quite feel real enough, and eventuall y begin to grate during the games campaign .

On the lower difficulties ReacHs single player poses little to no threat for seasoned players, but upping it soon shows having

locate and recognise your voice and al low headset-free party chat) the package is almost complete. The final tier here is Kineds custom processor, enabling fu ll human body recognition and promoting the notion that 'you are the controller.' This full-body play is the unique selling point that Kinect has to offer as a piece of technology, and you would be hard pushed to find a cheaper bit of hardware that offers such personalised play and usage through alternative means.

Move is a much more self-contained gadget, with most of the wireless process taking place inside the actual controller(s).

At a glance, one could make the assumption that a single hand -held device (Move) grants a better level of control and motion sensitivity than one designed to allow fullbody capture (Kinecf), though this remains to be seen .

Furthermore, the tactile feedback offered by the Movecontroller may be a favourable alternative to the hands-free Kinect, particularly for those looking for a more sensory gaming experience. Being able to 'explore and feel' your way around a virtual environment is a huge plus for technology buffs and curious garners alike .

Move works by combining advanced motion sensors with bluetooth technology and a light 'sphere'; this offers the user precise three-axis sensitivity and movement, and from what I have seen, it works well. The Playstation Eye camera allows the controller to be located in a 3D environment, with the purpose of further enhancing the accuracy of the on -screen feedback (this is just one of the factors that distinguishes Playstation Move from the technology on offer with Nintendo's Wii console) right down to the player's exact

friends pays off, with Legendary mode seem ing near impossible when played alone . With Reach Bungie have also taken the opportunity to redo the brilliant online multiplayer; Halo: Reach is the ultimate online Halo experience, featuring the best multiplayer maps from Halo 2 and Halo 3 in a lovingly revamped form and with all their game modes, including fan made game types now as official bu ilt-in game variants. lt also has the stellar Firefight Mode (previou sly a friends only game variant, where Covenant forces would attack you and 3 friends in waves and players would be awarded points) from Halo J: ODS0 but this time allowing for online play with fri end s or strangers.

Ultimatel y Halo: Reaclis ex periments w ith the Hal o franch ise pays off, it wraps up the st ory rath er neatl y and, for tho se who haven 't re ad Eric Nylund 's Halo: The Fall of Reach, it answers the question s of Halo's pa st and why Halo: Combat Evolved starts quite the way it does. Even though there are a few holes, such as what happens to

position .

Perhaps the ultimate deciding factor will be the games themselves. Forza 4 or Gran Turismo Little Big Planet 2 or Kinectimals' As the Wii has proven, hardware is only 'good' if it can be supported through a strong catalogue of software. The good news is that there are plenty of fantastic titles heading to the 360 and the PS3 over the coming months and the motion controller revolution will only add to the thrill of experiencing these new games in new ways.

While both Move and Kinect make use of 3D feedback environments and motion sensitivity, they are devices which execute and operate in drastically different and exciting ways (the same could be said for the Nintendo Wii) . Hopefully you can see what your extra £55-£95 gets you if you do decide to try out Kinect in November, and for the most part, you know what to expect from the remote -only Move. The most important thing to remember is that Kinect, Move and yes, even the Wii, all have something different to offer, and it is only through engaging with each of these devices that we will know which one feels 'right'.

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these new weapons we see, and the new enemy type, there are many more positives to this game than negatives.

This is a game that any Halo fan has to play, and a game that every FPS fan should play. Go out and buy it now I Vaughn Highfield

-Superb and furiously fun on line multiplayer - Fantastic end to a brilliant series - Excellently written story line - Single player or 4 person co-op campaign

- Emotive character development needs some work - Online multiplayer has a tendency to be buggy (as of going to press).

- Grunts, Jackals, Elites; well, basically anything you can shoot at ...

2 8SEP T10 I S SUE 244

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<INTERNET) Fun links to pass the time between socialising and learning .

The Surrealist http://thesu rrea Iist. co .uk/ Lots of fun name and gibberish generators, an easy way to waste hours of your time I Jonathan From Spotify http://j on at ha nfro m spotify ru i nedyo urp lay Iist. eo m/ Does exactly what it says on the tin . Witty comments about everybody's favourite Spotify frontman!

Chrome Fastball http://www.youtube.com/chromefastball The most intriguing use ofYouTube in a long time; answer the questions quickly to get the ball to the other end of the course, as fast as you can. Can you make the high score list?

I Hate Dinosaurs http://www.buzzfeed.com/ihatedinosaurs This person hates dinosaurs and has the most wonderful sense of humour! See how his dinosaur hatred manifests itself in this witty blog of self-made and found pictures.

Here's a final one to try. Go into Google and type in 2204355 into the search bar and then hit 'I'm Feeling Lucky'. Try it if you dare hilarity will ensue.

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Launching a social network is a tough job, and convincing people to use it on a massive scale is even tougher. With Ping, Apple's new social network, Apple are attempting to break into an already saturated market.

Face book, established and dominant, already incorporates almost every feature necessary to a social networking site, including one that Apple's Ping cannot hope to initially match; its massive userbase. it's estimated that Facebook's revenue for 2009 was $8oo million, thanks to its users. Apple's existing online service, iTunes, has 160 million account holders, which they hope they can coerce into their own social networking base, while at the same time increasing music sales by providing Ping.

While this is a good place to begin, it says nothing about the nature of the service. How is Ping unique? What market does it cater to, that has not already been filled7 People need a good reason to switch, especially when leaving something as integral as Facebook.

What, then, does Ping have to offer that Facebook and Spotify do not? Users will be able to follow artists, find out about upcoming singles, albums etc., and have their musical interests followed by others.

They will be able to say what artists and genres of mus1c they like, and upload their own reviews. However, Facebook already allows for all of this, and everyone already has Facebook. Spotify even allows users to send entire playlists to other people who can then listen to it all, immediately. They do not have to first buy any of it from iTunes.

Getting people to change their online

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Microsoft Security Essentials Gnu Cash Fancy a pint' Got your reading list? As students we find that there is no shortage of information on how to apply for finance and loans, but how many of us are confident in what and how we spend7 GnuCash is compatible with Windows and Mac, and utilises a simple bookkeeping system perfect for monitoring your finances.

Making good use of a 'simple cheque book' interface (great for keeping track of your spending), the software will even calculate a bottom-line budget, taking into consideration all expenses. A fantastically practical and user-friendly program. www.gnucash.org

As far as anti-virus programs go, MSE is pretty good . lt has a simple user interface, with all settings easily accessible. Some anti-virus programs have been known to be resource intensive, making computers slower- especially if they were already slow machines. That is not the case here .

The best aspects of this program, though, are that it's unobtrusive, sitting in the background, quietly updating regularly without whining at the user to do it, dealing with viruses, spyware, rootkits and trojan horses by itself. To top it all off- it's totally free . Sort of ticks all the boxes, doesn't it? www. m icrosoft. com/secu rity _ essentia Is/

habits is extraordinarily difficult unless you can present a tangible benefit for doing so, and this is something Ping just doesn't have. it's like Face book, but it has a focus on music. ltcan also be accessed using iPhones and iPod Touches . To put it harshly: big deal. Face book can too. As Apple like to say: 'there's an App for that'- just as there's an app for Spotify.

There seems to be little to convince the reported 560 million people logging into Face book every single day that using Ping is

worth the effort. That's an impossible number of people to convert. Although Ping did have an influx of interest in its first two days- one million people signed up in that time- since then, that massive surge hasn't kept up the pace. it's a safe bet that most of that initial interest came from people wanting to know what all the fuss was about, or, even more likely, what that new button was in iTunes.

Indeed, Ping is completely integrated with iTunes, giving it potentially a massive pool of users. However, just because one million people have made an account, they will not necessarily continually use their profiles -

vital for a social network. One thing Ping does actual ly do quite well is recommend new artists for users to 'follow'. However, this is merely a selling tool for iTunes- which is made all the more convenient given it's all in the same program. In contrast, Facebook's attempts at monetising its website are at least slightly more subtle than this.

Ping also has no dedicated web site. If you prefer not to install iTunes, or if the computer being used does not happen to have the program installed, there is no way to use the service; iTunes has to be installed. it's that simple, and this inflexibility on Apple's part might hurt it in the long run.

Ping doesn't have to utterly defeat Facebook in order to continue. it's perfectly possible to be active in both Ping and Facebook, and use other services like Spotify at the same time. But the fact is most consumers won't excitedly jump at the chance to burden themselves with yet another on line profile that they have to check and update. lt doesn't matter how powerful Apple's brand is, there just isn't enough here to make people use Ping as well as Face book, or instead. For the last few years, Apple has moved from the PC, to the music player and then to the tablet markets, and each one has been a sensible, straightforward move for the company. The iPod saved it from collapse.

The iPad has made Apple the go-to company for a consumer tablet PC. With Ping, Apple has given itself a real uphill struggle, and it will be interesting to see if the 'Ping' button is still there in a few years, or even months.

William Moran

Don't quite understand the difference between Megabytes, Gig abytes and Terabytes7 Always had a burning desire to know how the things around you work7 Maybe you've just got something technology and game related on your mind. lt could even be suggesting games and technology issues you would like to see addressed in Wired, maybe you like a particular writer and want to sing their praises!

Whatever it is, Wired is looking for you to drop us a line and pose your questions left, right and centre. We'll print the most helpful, interesting or just plain funny questions each issue, however we can only achieve this by working together, so help us help you and send your路questions in!

Drop us a line anytime at: Concrete.Wired@uea.ac.uk

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@FakeAPStylebook: A must for any aspiring but cynical journalists.

Recent Tweet> "Journalists have a serious responsibMity to their readers. Honour this by ensuring you have, in fact, identified Hollywood's Sexiest Legs." @TheBig_Sam : A fake profile for Blackburn manager Sam Allardyce . He knows all about it, and loves it. You don't have to like football to find it hysterical.

RecentTweet> "Made the lads sing 'What If God Was One Of Us' today. Have to cultivate their spiritual curiosity. Then we all had custard & went bowling ."

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FACT: Th1s is the thrrd Chrirtopher Nolan movae in five years in which Cillian Murphy's character spends a sigmficant portion of h1s on-screen time with a cloth bag over his head.

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carefully layered plotlines ultimately meant aud iences across the world were never going to view the likes of

film's success hinges on box office takings, Hollywood must have been relieved.

To date, the film has raked

Spiderman or even Iron Man in the same league. At lea st, these were the kinds of accolades Hollywood investors were hoping for Inception.

So, was this the blockbuster movie of the summer 7 1n the land where a

in $697 million worldwide, which by anyone's sta ndard s, is mind-blowing, with many going to see it a second time . Admittedly, the high profi le cast must helped.

Leonardo have DiCaprio and Ellen Page make for a great on -screen

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duo who play two highly ski ll ed operatives that extract information from people's dreams. In order to escape imprisonment in the U.S., DiCaprio's character must carry out one final job inception, the act of planting an idea within one's mind.

With the help of an ensemble cast, including Michael Caine, the plot carefully follows the characters as they enter the different leve ls of the subconscious while differentiating between dream and reality.

There is more than a passing resemblance here to the Matrix trilogy, as the laws of physics don't app ly, allowing for many a mid-air battle. The film still has a lot to answer for by the end,

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and aside from the few plot holes the payoff for t he final 30 seconds is well worth the brain drain.

And with such a complex film, there needs to be an equally comp lex out let to purge those tax ing plot lines. This comes in the form of the immense SFX scenes only Hollywood where is unrivalled, providing enough pace to keep the fully engaged audience long enough for the climatic ending. Once again, Nolan hasn 't underestimated his audience and Inception delivers on most fronts as a Hollywood blockbuster, and unlike Hollywood, reassuringly puts substance alongside style.

Jonathan Brady

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Sta ll one's all cast plethora of masculinity is viscera l, ripe with archetypes and ~ full of highlighted bicep veins. r Despite expectations, ~ Stal lone's mobocracy a: maintains an impassioned U sensitivity- sizeable chunks of dialogue in salient and mismatched sce nes (I) discussing female troubles, 1- presumab ly because manly a: comrades do this as a <( prerequisite.

Combined with a gargantuan knowledge of horrific oneZ liners, these traits supply 0 the characters w ith jovial humanity.

I (I) However, the real reason <( anyone will be watching LL The Expendables in the near future are numerous.

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There are seven minutes of explosions. There is an AA12 shotgun in the hands of a 'token black guy'. Jason Statham spouts verse.

There are unambiguously despicable antagonists with lots of large threatening that clearly henchmen merit extreme retribution .

Surprisingly, through all the pout ing eyes and indifferent moustaches, Mickey Rourke delivers quite a decent bit of acting which unfortunately, like a lot of the film, appears out of place and is immediately fo ll owed by Steve Austin coshing a nice lady's head -the film saving face after being close to t ears. Overall, it's brilliant kibosh if you can pierce your cheek with your own tongue . If not, then don't go near it.

Jack Burrows

•

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We've waited an entire decade for it, but finally has Pixar delivered cinematic gold once again .

A lot has changed since our last meeting with Woody, Buzz and the rest of the legendary posse. Andy is all grown up, and it's finally time for him to head to college; the thing hi s toys have been dreading most - the end of play-time, forever.

Fo llowing a clear out, all but Woody are bundled into a bin bag destined for the attic but are instead mistakenly thrown out for the rubbish collection.

De spite Woody's insistence that the act was a mistake, the group believe this to be a clear sign of Andy's disregard for them.

They head to Sunnyside Day Care Centre, where the hope of being played with still exists. When the gang arrive, their prayers seem answered when they are welcomed by 'Lots-0', Sunnyside's presiding toy.

But the Huggin' Bear has a whole lot more in store for them than they hoped.

Lucki ly fo r them, Woody and some new faces have some plans of their own. incredible Boasting computer animation and a host of new lovable characters, Toy Story 3 is another testament to Pixa r's sublime career in producing visually inspiring and heartwarming family film s. For many, this film marks the end of an era . Some shining highlights include: Ken's extensive wardrobe, Buzz's Spanish 'lesson' and the cutest Pixa r kid si nce Boo. Carrie-Anne Elsden

:o i ;e"ct~ r~J~~·e~ ·M;n·s g~ l~l" : are pasted together in the :Running Time: 109 m ins • trailer. The plot serves as • a mere canvas for the big • • explosions and shoot-'em • ups, sprinkled with some Knight and Day was off corny comic relief. The to a rocky start with premise for the film was a this reviewer due to its light-hearted parody of an dubiously punning title . oversubscribed genre, but The plot revolves the end product is overstuffed, under-cons idered around June (Cameron Diaz) who is on her way to and a bit too ridicu lous. her sister's wedding, but it's not all doom and is prevented from getting gloom. The effects were the world on the plane. But then, in dramatic, a completely ine xp licable scenery nice, but otherwise it's a jack of all trades, way, she finds a seat which, lo and behold, places her master of none . directly next to our leading So, if you find yourself man, Roy (Cruise) and our fancying a spoof spy, bumbling, action rom-com action thriller then pop Mr. romp ensues. and Mrs. Smith in your DVD Be wary of films player instead. where all the best parts Daisy Foster

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•• •• •• •• • • • • • • • • • • • • ·• • • • • • •• The Twilight Saga should come with a health warning . lt could be blamed for the sexual degeneration of the modern world : endorphin strangled teenage girls, the exploitation of a half naked 17-year-old boy, 'sparkly' adult toys... and most unpleasant of all, the 'Twilight mom'. But, love it or hate it, this summer saw Hollywood's favourite love triangle score their third resounding victory.

For those shamefully tied by the heart-strings already, Eclipse succeeds in pushing the romantic tension to an entirely new level, haemorrhaging awkward silences and

DVD HoT TUB

stolen glances, jealous wolf tantrums and suppressed vampire hormones at every opportunity. Whilst the threat of the Volturi and vampire Victoria lurk ever closer, Bella (Stewart) is pressured into making a decision between becoming a vampire, like boyfriend Edward (Rob Pattinson), or re,, -,CJj,,j,,~

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friend, and werewolf, Jacob (Taylor Lautner).

This time round, however, there is some hope for any jilted boyfriends in the audience as new director David Slade (3o Days of Night) attempts to widen the saga's accessibility by evening up the romance/ action ratio, with longer fight scenes and fresh 'newborn' violence .

Steph McKenna

••• ••• ••••••••••••••••••••• Those of a certain age will recognise the film's icon ic internal narrative; 'In 1972 a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn 't commit.. .'. The ~"'''"'~ vvcn r e9arded with such high esteem that anyone taking on a reboot had to be confident that he could capture the original's humour and pure insanity.

This summer director Joe Carnahan was the brave man who took up that challenge .

The action follows the formation of the unorthodox yet successful A-Team, their subsequent imprisonment for a theft

they did not perpetrate, their escape from jail and their attempt to earn their freedom and regain their honour.

Critics have been unfairly critical of this light-hearted film . The plot is fast-paced and the action is well executed . The performances are strong .

Sharlto Copley, in particular, is hilarious as the insane Murdoch . Quintan Jackson, as B.A, holds his own in a role that could well have been too big for nearly any actor, and Bradley Cooper is fun as the vain ladies-man, Faceman . Liam Neeson, however, as Hannibal, is clearly not comfortable with the comedic role . Any fan of the action genre will love th is rewarding film .

Katy Ouigley

•••••••••••••••••••• • Director:Harald Zwart •

• • ! Running Time: 1 4° m ins : • • • • •••••••••••••••••••• Film titles would leave many with a decent guess to the film's content, but The Karate Kid actually has very little to do with Karate.

In fact, it's the martial art of Kung Fu that Dre Parker (Jaden Smith) is taught, so why not 'The Kung-Fu Kid?' Well, if you've been to an Odeon over this summer, you've probably realised that Hollywood has spent most of it releasing more of the same, and this is no exception of an attempt to regain a nostalgic audience.

Apart from the title issue, the film is entertaining and the narrative is sim ilar to its 1984 release in many parts.

Dre and his mother are

taken from job-restricted Detroit to Beijing, where t heymeetMrHan, portrayed

by Hollywood martial art specialist Jackie Chan, who teaches Dre Kung Fu to help him overcome school bullies.

Mr Han makes Dre take off his jacket and put it on the floor, then put it on again elaborately modernising the 'wax on, wax off' training approach of Mr Miyagi from the 1984 film, to "jacket on, jacket off".

The performance of Chan was customary, but Smith seemed too like the innocent boy in ThePursuitof Happyness; it is evident that this was a career enhancing film as his parents were both eo-producers .

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••••••••••••••••••••• • Director: Steve Pink ••Release Date: 30/08/10 •• • • • • ••• • •• •••• • • • • ••• •• • • • •• Steve Pink (writer of High Fidelity, Grosse Point Blank and producer of Knight and Day) directs this cheerfully inane hodgepodge of Old School, Cool Runnings and Back to the Future .

Three failed adults and an out of place unfunny nerd undergo an idiotic existential crisis when their skiing holiday is disrupted by a jacuzzi transporting them back to the 198o's.

The threadbare plot, which mixes the comedy styling of the modern frat pack with time-travel, may sound like surprisingly original premise for a high concept movie, but do not

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be fooled - despite being set in the past, it is only the sights and sounds that are different.

The thin stock of immediately obvious cultural references quickly dries out, and the film for the most part relies on the over-familiar Hollywood comedy stock in trade of guiltily awful sight gags and silly body humour. This unsubtle material is mostly gross, occasionally lewd, but frequently funny, in no small part due to the efforts

of John Cusack, going back to his caree r roots as a comedy actor, who does very well to convincingly keep a straight face throughout .

Genre aficionados will not have a problem with the quality of the gags .

The biggest fa iling instead is that the film concludes with a moral lesson - act irresponsibly and selfishly, and you will reap later success - which detracts from its appeal.

George Gilbert

Kick-Ass is someth ing of a rare gem; a blockbuster that thinks it's an indie film .

Hyped as a new breed of comic-book adaptation, it surpassed all expectations and turned the genre on its head . By relentlessly referencing superheroes and comic-strip captions, it draws attention to genre trends and exploits them for both humour and aesthetics, immersing us in the world of a geeky adolescent's wet dream .

Dave Lizewsk i (Aaron Johnson) leads us through the 'what ifs' of every media savvy youth 's fantasy with a freefall dive into what it

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means to be a hero. The film follows this awkward teen as he tries to be a good Samaritan by buying a wetsuit and calling himself 'Kick-Ass'. He repeatedly gets his ass kicked, until he becomes caught up in the midst of the revenge story of two real superheroes, Hit Girl (the excellent Chloe Moretz) and Big Daddy (Nicolas Cage) . it's violent, bad mouthed and gritty, but never less than utterly entertaining.

Standout scenes include

Hit-Girl's brutal entrance, and a warehouse set piece, amazingly all contained within one shot.

Mark Strong, the villain of the piece, commented that it "glorifies in its incorrectness", meshing Tarantino-esque visual style, teen comedy, and Marvel romance comics .

Although best suited to the big screen, Kick Ass is still as enjoyable on the small screen with friends . lra Lorandou

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As the year comes to a close, one big genre blockbuster remains - the be latedsequel to the 1982 sci -fi 'classic' Tron.

Has anyone even seen Tron' Don't. it's whack.

Okay, not whack, but definitely not great. it's not so much a film as it is someone sticking their budgetary knackers in an old computer. The resulting gooey excretion spawned a gazi llion CGI- heavy, plot/ character/interes t -light blockbuster- loving chi ldren and forever cemented Hol lywood as an expe nsive waste of consumer brain cells.

So, Tron : Legacy. .. w hat

can we expect' Well, the game has certa inl y been raised in the last twentyeig ht years. Sure, we haven't quite evolved beyond paying in our millions to have midd le-aged men se lf loving pixels directly into our eyeba ll s ("Thank you, Mr Cameron 1 May I have another, sir'"), but Pixar have spent the last decadeand-a-ha lf demonstrating how technology can be

TALKING MOVIES For

it's probab ly important to estab lish that 3D, at the moment, is littl e more th an a thin ly veiled attempt to 0 force digital screens into UJ more cinemas under the a: semb lance of innovation . latest resurrection 3 This of the format, whi le less obviously gimmicky than previous incarnations, > has sti ll been used by r-- many as lit t le more than a promotiona l t oo l, for everything from animation, ..,. l!l to historical blockbusters, z to Jacka ss.

There is one glarin g

except ion: Avatar, the huge, hu lking cash behemoth of 2010. Though the story and charac ters we re less th an inspiring, the phenomena l visuals were what really made it stand out. Whil e advanced CG I is a significant factor in this, it's undeniable that James Cameron's al l new 3D techno logy added a depth of field that really heightened the immersion.

If every 3D blockbuster made as much use of the tec hnology available as Avatar did, the cinema would be an enti rely different proposition.

TRON: LEGACY >Tom

used as an enab ler fo r great storyte lling rather than a replacement fo r it.

Anyhow, Tron: Legacy.. the trai ler's got motorbikes.

And The Dude 1 But, that aside, can we expect much?

There's a lot of potential in the premise. it's certa inly fertile ground, and sure ly far more re levant now than it was in the early8o's. A cautionary fable about modern man's

c nnes asks 'CG-WHY?!"

dependency on technology or video-game vio lence or something' Unlikely. it's a big-budget 3D sci-fi movie made for young boys therefore car chase+ punchy kick+ boobs =success.

The real question here is: 'w hy7 ' Is the human creative force so bereft of ideas that we now have to rehash old relics that went unwatched in the first place 7 1 could give you three original ideas now I Here's just one: three downon-their- luck street walkers develop super powers and take bloody ve ngeance on their sleazy cl ients on the mean streets of Baltimore .

McG to direct.

Tom Mclnnes

Free Entry with a UEAINUCA Student Card (I Pt.·r Pl'r"Wln " /o Studt·nt Card .

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This week, Du n ca n Vicat-Brown ffor) and Pa ul artin fagainst) go head-tohead to see if 3 D cinema is worth the hype or just an expensive turkey.

This is why peop le should be excited about Tron : Legacy. Although a sequel to a not-very -good 8o's sci-fi Aick directed by a man who makes video game adverts is hard ly a mouth-watering proposition , it is the first big budget action-adventure Aick since Avatar where 3D ha s been an integ ral part of the product ion process from day one.

3D t echno logy has a real potential to change blockbuster cinema for the better, we just need more people to do it better.

~ THE PoPCORN CHART

AGAINST

To be blunt, some fi lms are ju st not designed for 3D. Toy Story 3 is a perfect example of how its classic CG I cartoon franchise became unrecognisable in 3D. Though it is a great film, 3D played no part to its excellence.

Granted, Avatar encapsulated something magical and encouraged a whopping 71 per cent of viewers to watc h in 3D. But with over two dozen 3D films Aooding the market this year it seems what was once the must see pinup

girl of cinema, now sags as her popu larit y wanes .

3D screening figures have plu mmeted by 30 per cent as peop le co ntemplate catching the cheaper 2D version which is now shunned to the graveyard shift.

Furth ermo re, audiences have complained about the poor visual quality of some films as fi lm-makers rush the expensive process to attach this gimmick to films w ith su bsta ntia lly weaker plots, I am look ing at you, The Last Airbender and PiranhaJO .

3D's con t inuing struggle

to fit in serves as a headache for ci nema goers rather than advancing the next stage of cinema evolution. it pressures smaller chains to convert to 3D systems in fear of losing competition to riva l companies. Its bul lying tactics question whethe r this fad wi ll survive financially in the long run .

Since 3D's inception sixty years ago it has been overlooked by more pressing cinematic advances, begging the question as to why filmmakers keep re surrecting th is tired gimmick .

To celebrate of the unfortunate release of Step Up 30 th1s summer. Dune n Vicat· Brown brings us a top five countdown of the funniest dance s quences in film.

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Youn g Frankenstein Putting on the Ritz

So you've successfully reanimated a corpse using U an 'abnormal' brain and a lightning sto rm, kept the world's strangest pol ice (I) inspector at bay, and, by r- losing and then recovering a: the aforementioned <( wa lking corpse, resolved your extensive granddaddy issues. Now, it's your job z to prove to an audience o of aristocrats carrying a lot of throwable fruit that ~ the w hole venture was <( worthwhi le. What do you lL do' If you're Or Fredrick Frankenstein there's on ly

one thing you can do ...

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Airplane - Stayi n' Alive it's you r typical boy meets girl, boy dances w ith girl, boy gets st abbed in the back, boy spasms wildly, girl im itates spasms mistaking them for dance moves, new boy throws hat, hat comes back, boy circ les girl, boy throws girl, girl takes abnorma lly long to come back, girl spins man

improbably we ll, boy busts out some improvisational extravaganza covering everyt hing from disco to traditional Jewish dancing, physics looks on in despair.

Y'know, standard really.

showgirls The Bavarian are funny. Camp Hitl er's fabulous introduction is funn ier.

However, the goose -stepp in g, rotating swastika should leave you a shivering, hysterical laughwreck.

The Producers Springtime for Hitler Th e second show in g for Mel Brooks, the king of the chuckle shuffie, this is the cu lmin ation of Max Bial ystock's (Zero Mostel) efforts to bring a surefire Aop to Broadway, and quite possib ly the most wantonly offensive musical number ever conceived.

N pol on Dynarn it C nn d H at The genius of this one has sad ly been dim inished by its ubiquity. More people have seen this scene th an the rest

of the movie. However, the real beauty of this piece of classic celluloid is how much it should ca t ch you off guard .

Napoleon is awkward ; Christ, the man can't even run out of shot gracefully.

He plays tether ball with all the poise and finesse of a grenade. He wears freakin' moonboots, ferc hrissakes.

So, when his brother's new fiance and her fantastically massive teeth pass him a tape of hip, happen in' tunes, you'd be forgiven for not immediate ly assuming that some jaw dropping moves are on the way. But, of course, they are. Godl

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You know some madness is about to go down when adorable, pudgy pre-teen Olive introduces her beauty pageant talent performance with "I'd like to dedicate thi s to my grandpa, who showed me these moves ."

Th is is the same grandpa who came out with such classics as "You should be gettin' that young stuff," and "When you're old you're crazy not to do it."

So, all things considered, the ensu in g carnage really isn 't all that surprising.

Duncan Vicat-Brown

LIVE REVIEWS

.•

ROBIN TRO\XIER- WATERFRONT On arrival at the Waterfront there is definitely a blue tint. The audience demographic contains a mix of senior rockers shocked by the presence of students and what looks to be a significant portion of Norfolk's guitar tutors.

The lights dim and the support act take the stage, a down to earth blues outfit called King King . A nascent blues shuffle explodes into hard funk as the band begins what turns out to be a very appealing set.

Simply Red style ballads, brilliant vocals and warm modesty made this hard blues band a definite recommendation.

After a short interval Mr. Trower arrived and launched into Midnight with funky dancing to boot, the sexagenarian quartet laying down a groove that

wipes stagnating saliva. Trower himself effortlessly impresses, shredding in a bluesy manner at phenomenal speeds while juxtaposing his signature effectladen passages that innervate the room 's collective arm hair. Finding Me from the new album starts out bland but progresses into an explosive finale that leads straight into Twice Removed From Yesterday.

Trower surprises everyone with a fine set of vocal chords as well as fingers that hypnotically explore the top of the fret board with a slow delta blues feel. A slightly heavier rendition of Day of the Eagle bleeds into a majestic opening for his most famous and eloquent work,

15/09/10

the sombre tempo and mixes with a passionate exploration of harmonious arpeggios.

As the gig rounds off you begin to wonder how many times Trower has cricked his neck in his four decade career with so much vigorous movement from the shoulders upwards while he plays.

The encore is well-received as the sprightly blues erudites leave the stage after a professional performance that doesn't suggest retirement anytime soon.

Jack Burrows

Bridge of Sighs.

Pure blues power emanates through

GALLOPS - ARTS CENTRE

10/09I 10

With song names like ~ooo11~o~oo11~~, it was easy to be apprehensive of the Welsh electro-rock band Gallops . This intrigue continued with the very different support bands: the amiably modest Epichunt who tore danceable dubstep beats out of his gameboy, followed by the skinny-jeaned, face-melting screamo band Maths. In the end, it turned out they were a sweet combination of the two, serving us catchy, electro riffs with heavy guitar beats. Think Foals, but more raw and, probably, more passionate .

While some might not choose to listen to this kind of music alone, it is made to be heard live . The set seemed to build up to the climax of Miami Spider, which

found the guitarists Brad Whyte and Mark Huckridge and the drummer Dave Morait hammering themselves into their instruments whilst hectic electronica ·was unleashed by the sequencer on his laptop and the lead guitarist almost at prayer at his pedals. Although the audience was small, they definitely had a good time.

And the best part about seeing a band like this at Norwich Arts Centre is that when the bearded man who has been jigging furiously throughout the gig stops to shout out "one more!", there is no reason why not.

..-

Ella Chappels

COMPETITION TIME!

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WIN FEVER FEVER TICI<ETS!

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Think you've got iU Email your answer to concrete.music@uea.ac.uk by Tuesday sth lL October to be in the running!

•

~ALBUM REVIEWS

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ARIEL PINK's HAUNTED GRAFFITI

~ BEFORE TODAY

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Before today, Arie l Pink has always been something of a difficult proposition. The -.J framework was all th ere; Hol lywood indie rockst ar with cool friends (Animal Collective are huge fans, re leasing his first LP on their Paw Track s label) and a unique > sound; think 6o's, 70's and 8o's revivalism ~ being fed through a garbage compacte r. ::!: He comes across as some kind of 0 enigmatic genius, like a bedroom-studio'd u Jeff Mangum. On ly trouble is, all his albums so far have been a bit cack. it's hard to put a finger on why, there's just L been something missing . _J You knew it was interesting, you just lL weren't particularly ... interested.

So when lead single Round and Round, a sub lime piece of transcendent pop, bu rst onto the blogosphere effectively inviting anyone else to raise the bar, people began to get excited.

Full y living up to that promise, Before Today is un like anything else you'll hear al l yea r. it's not so much infl uenced by decades past as it is like a tape found at the back of a drawer after years of neglect.

0 T he re's a stunn ing musica l breadth w ([ on offer, with many tra cks careening

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from one sty le to another with reckless abandon, shapeshifting so frequently that the tracklist becomes basically irrelevant.

From the sy nt h-odyssey of L'estat (ace. to the- widow's maid) to the phenomenal , guitar driven Little Wig, every song is fit to burst w ith enoug h ideas to fue l t he Briti sh ' lndie' scene for about two years.

The only worry is that this ecst atic burst of crea ti vity m ight be so inte nse t hat it' ll prove impossible to follow up . Let's hope that he at least tries.

Duncan Vicat-Brown

AUDIO SECRECY

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it's impossible to try to guess w here Stone Sour coul d have gone after their hugely successfu l Come What(ever) May sophomore album in 2006, which showed the world that Sli pk not's frontman Corey Taylor cou ld take on hard-rock with force as we ll as fronting one of the most significant nu-metal bands of the decade . But it was worth the 4 year wait. This album is a masterful combination of sensitive ballads and trademark frenetic Stone Sour t irade s, creating a work that draws upon both the past and future of the band member's live s and th eir sou nd .

Perhaps t he key development for Audio Secrecy is the focus of much of the album's tracks. Corey takes a retro spective look at an ind ividual's attempts to hold onto a fragile marriage (Dying and Hesitate) and explo re tentative new beginnings (Say You'll Haunt Me, Pieces) . Thi s is a marked contrast to the socially aware, anti-war messages of previous albums . Audio Secrecy in many ways fee ls like the big brother of Come What(ever) May. Controlled and well-timed moments of intensity in the tracks work alongside the juxtapositon of di sco rdant harmonies and gripping melodic twists. Despite this the album stil l sounds familiar with Taylor's unique vocals and Jim Root's guitar solos surfacing on many tracks, rem inding fans of

GRINDERMAN

2

Grinderman 2 is the album Bunny Munro hears in his head as he slides between the thigh s of another housewife/divorcee/ widow. Nick Cave's sexual dysfunctions continue to fuel his work; aggressive, animalistic and utterly unrestra ined.

Opening wi th di sta nt guitar noodling that su ddenl y gives way to the pounding distortion of Mickey Mouse and The Goodbye Man, Cave and his troupe launch an immediate assault of raucous prog-rock and garage blues.

What follows is a forty-minute rampage of illicit sexuality that refuses to let up until the , ahem, climactic outpouring of Bel/ringer Blues, all wailing guitars and a rather perversely-placed gospel choir.

The blues is a staple of Cave's wo rk, and it infuses every aspect of his writing (the first words he treats us to on Grinderman 2 are " / woke up this morning . . "). As such, a very rea l and palpable feeling of melancholia and desperation permeate s th e deviant strutting and caterwau lin g - it's deeper than it seems, man. Not to say that it isn't a funny album, or, perhaps more accurat ely, punny (no, sorry, that's just awful). Try this on for size: "My baby

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GRINDERMAN

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the character at the centre of the band .

The significance of this record is in the offering of a progressive, lighter ending that is dotted about the album. Th is takes it beyond the cyc lical emotional fee l of previous albums and helps Audio Secrecy to eme rge as a complete whole. it's evidence of Taylor's personal journey and reflective of the maturation of the band. Thi s is w here the value of the album lies, it is not to be underestimated, but by all means let it surp"rise you.

Li z Jackson

WARP RIDERS The Sword's first concept album , in their own words, was a sli ght d ivergence from t heir prev ious work, said to conta in acoust ic numbers, instrumentals and some of the ir heaviest songs to date .

Their first externally produced album also meant Cronise's vocals, usual ly competing with gargantuan sound, can clearly be heard in all its echo ing resonance.

The Sword's sound is anc illary to an army of cave trol ls marching into a peasant vil lage to squash things; their ethos a brutal attack on silence of any kind. Live, this energy pulsates with a preternatural force that leaves you wondering if the venue is structura lly sound afterwards or just another broken building in the band 's wake.

Acheron/ Unleashing the Orb is an om inous instrumental affair and a statement to Cronise's vision wi t h an enigmatic opening to the narrative. The Chromancer Part 1. Hubris is a rhinoceros that barrages between funk and some of their heaviest material ye t, sitting next to Lawless Lands, more of a bluesy funk song given the Sword treatment, with organ fil led bridges and sludgy verse.

The Sword frequently t ie t he ir end ings and openings into a pleasing enjambment of riffs, and there's no exception with

***

calls me the Loch Ness monster. Two big humps, then I'm g one". Jimmy Carr would kill fo r th is kind of material.

The real triumph of this record lies in the unprecedented degree to which Cave has remained just as da ngerous, just as rambunctious and just as vita l after a career spanning more than three decades.

Rock ' n' Roll is alive and we ll, it just doesn't be long to the kids anymore.

Tom Mclnnes

****

Warp Riders. Cronise at his best and Tr ivett Wingo's distinctive ly grandiose drumm ing make it clear why it's the title track.

The album rounds off with arc hetypa l Sword; a euphonic work from Cronise lamenting on apocalyptic visions of the sky raining fi re, a medley of stabb ing gu itar and rol ling drums that fade back to the burgeoning threat of Acheron/Un leashing the Orb, providing closu re on a doom meta l gem from one of the best modern stoner metal bands.

Jack Burrows

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THE GooD, THE BAD AND THE MuDDY

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it's somewhere between June and September and for some reason, you're in the middle of a field that vaguely smells of piss and doubting the structu ra l integrity of your tent. Ah, festival season, that youthful rite of passage. Th ere's great music, great stories and th e kin d of debauchery th at coul d make an entire series worth of progra mmi ng for t he Jeremy Kyle Show. Wis h you were t here?

Venue was . Here's w hat t hey had to say ...

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(REAMFIELDS BY

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Creamfields 2010, the Mecca for all dance fans, exceeded expectations both in the sets themselves and in the line-up. lt was hard not to feel like a child in a candyshop; there was every conceivable artist on offer, from masters like Pete Tong and Judge Jules to Deadmaus, Armin Van Buuren, Annie Mac and Eric Prydz.

An undoubted highlight was David Guetta's set which became the benchmark for the whole festival. Featuring enough LEDs to make Blackpool seem tame, laser-toting robots on stilts and 10ft-tall decks, it was easy for the 40,000 strong crowd to believe that God is indeed a DJ, with Guetta, the acting Messiah, creating a frenzied atmosphere he called "the biggest party on the planet". Whether playing massive hits like Sexy Bitch, remixes, or less mainstream songs, David Guetta cemented his status as the world's most in-demand artist right now and continued to prove he has the Midas touch for any song he takes on .

Swedish House Mafia's set was another one that has to be mentioned. Despite running concurrently with Tiesto (who was actually disappointingly quiet) they were so popular that the tent walls had to be lifted to allow people way outside its boundaries to see the stage. The crowd was going wild from start to finish, with the mixes being second-to-none.

Whilst SHM's performance alone was clearly world class their refreshingly unpretentious demeanour, and their joy at being part of the festival made them a stand out act.

Trying to condense the highlights proved difficult given how amazing every minute was, but the thing that stood out most was the phenomenal atmosphere all weekend. Photos show a landscape filled with morph suits, superhero costumes, Deadmaus heads, inflatable dinosaurs, flying Pringles pots (if you were present for Calvin Harris) and scantily clad girls sat on revellers shoulders, all throwing crazy shapes to the same infectious beats.

As a festival with a capacity almost equal to Reading and Leeds, Creamfields remains comparatively underpublicized, but for me no other festival this year rated as high and I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

After one of the biggest wrist-band exchange queues ever, finding out why people carry tents across campsites at festivals, and waiting for one latecomer to arrive after work, it was time to head to the arena for some music. At the main stage, there was time to see the end of Blondie, doing a rendition of Taio Cruz's Break Your Heart (which when singing later at the campsite was changed from 'heart' to 'bag' after an incident with a pink Primark handbag). After this somewhat ironic enjoyment of the Cruz cover, the crowd sung along to the classic Heart of Glass and all was wel l. Next was Van Morrison, and more singing along to hits such as Brown Eyed Girl and Gloria.

The Bread and Roses stage felt like a typical gig for unsigned band The Ruskins, as it was bursting with people, with the crowd's energy bouncing off the walls, complete with a mosh-pit and trade-mark stage invasion . lt was the perfect end to the first day of the two-day festival.

Sunday was a case of chilling out with lager-filled Hop Farm plastic cups in front of bands such as The Magic Numbers, Mumford & Sons, Peter Doherty, Laura Marling, and Johnny Flynn . All these bands gave amazing performances, and so, despite the bizarre visuals of Doherty's background ballet dancers, it all added up to an enjoyable day. A personal highlight would be Laura Marling; she delivered an entertaining performance and her raw emotion flooded into the audience. Bob Dylan fans were left disappointed, to the point of leaving the two-hour set early to hear the classic songs they wanted via MP~ players at the campsite.

The festival overall was good for those of us who feel they are getting too old to handle the longer festivals and would rather just two nights of late drinking. After the massive queues you are able to simply relax, and spend the days sitting on the grass listening to old and new favourites of folk and country music with a pint.

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If you're into some old school prog rock, a bit of metal and some good old fashioned rock'n'roll, then High Voltl!ge was the place to be this July. With a great mix of ages and a pragmatic, community feel to the weekend, the world seemed a little less hopeless for a couple of days. The line up consisted of bands ranging from progressive legends Emerson Lake and Palmer, to stoner metal super group Down.

Notable bands included Heaven and Hell, playing a tribute to the late Ronnie James Dio, putting on a great set and including some rare gems such as I and Turn up the Night. The Answer were also there, providing some Irish Led Zep-esque hard rock blues. Orange Goblin and the mountain bear Ben Ward took us on a strangely modest British stoner trip. The workhorse of heavy metal Saxon brought their iconoclastic geetar to the metal stage, proving they're one

of the great remaining metal longboats of hairy, goodhumoured, leather-toting fiery semantics.

Black Label Society and their bombadiering, buccaneering Berserkers literally shook the ground with their set, Zakk Wylde hunching over and then suddenly stretching, torturing himself as he strives to play faster and more intricately in an impressive spectacle. Joe Bonamassa brought his postmodern blues to the main stage with Led Zeppelin and ZZ Top medleys to boot, while ZZ Top themselves performed with the swagger of age while tipping their beards to their mentors, covering Hendrix with style.

Argent added tongue-in-cheek self-depreciating bursts of hyper-organ to their progressive set rounding off with covers of Since You've Been Gone and God Gave Rock N' Roll To You, while the more modern Opeth stunned the crowd with their somewhat distant set of prog-funk displaying

stunning technical ability. A great atmosphere reigned throughout the inaugural festival and the mix of music and entertainment proved popular with fans, promising to draw large crowds again next summer.

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Hanging on the edge of your seat since finish ing th e la st page? Sa livating in anticipat ion of Jay-Z's Godliness, Ax l Rose's continuing public breakdown and uh .. . V. We weren 't fi ni shed w ith yo u ye t, baby! So fe ast your eyes on this ...

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However sa d as it m ay sou nd, V Fest iva l becomes my li f e every August. lt is now much more t han a trad it ion. From t he New Year onwards I deve lop a severe impati ence, it ch in g to find out th e line -up, t hen of co urse th ere's th e fie rce fig ht for t ickets, whic h sell out in JUSt m inutes. Luck il y I have been fortunate enough to attend V four years in a row, although only for one day each time . Camping at festiva ls means bugs, no showers, and porta loos, not to mention the fact that after one day at V I am abso lutely knac kered 1 Bes id es, I ce rt ai nly get my fi ll of music with a day pass.

Over the last few years I have seen many class acts such as Muse, Foo Fighters, Snow Patrol and even met Lost prophets in the NME signing t ent. This year was no different. My hi ghlight of t he day was li sten ing t o Th e Temp er Trap perfo rm Swee t Disposition . lt seemed tha t t he rest of the crowd loved it too, judging by their loud singing an d their frenzied jumping . Some voices just cannot cut it on the live

Reading Festival may be infamous for Topshop-wearing sixteen year olds getting drunk and being too-cool -for-school, but at its heart it is sti ll about the music. The line up for Reading was hot ly debated, t he headliners caused controversy over whether they were great or terrible but either way the weekend was jam -packed with true rock'n'roll personas, mus1c and of course mud.

One of the joys of going to festivals is seeing the new slew of fest iva l-goers gett ing the ir feet, but there are few festivals like Reading where you can differentiate between the older festival-goer merely due to the age of the audience. The difference in clientele for the younger Paramore to the numetal kings Limp Bizkit posed the perfect opportunity to see t he joy of Reading an d the range of crowd it draws.

Mu mford & Sons, Foa ls and Mystery Jets flew the flag for indie and catered for the NME reader but the punk fan was also appeased with the Lock Up Stage not d1sappo1nting the

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stage, but lead singer Dougy Mandagi sounded absolutely phenomena l. Anoth er great voice is t hat of Kelly Jones, lead singer of t he Ste reo pho ni cs, and hea ring him sing at V for t he second t ime was fa ntasti c; Dakota is one of those so ngs t he whole crowd is always going to go mad for.

Another highlight was the discovery of a mystenous purple bus. Having never seen the like of it before at V, I went over and discovered that it was the Magic Numbers perf ormi ng acoust ical ly. The band had strong voices live and the add ition of one of the V staff as a 'beatboxer' proved very entertaining. This is the amazing thing about V -you get to see acts that you might never have watched otherwise.

So if I recommend any festiva l, it definitely has to be V. lt does not matter wha t your music t ast e is, t here is so m ething for everyone, and who knows' You might get on the te lly, too.

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King of hip hop and livi ng legend Jay-Z provided a phenomenal performance at Isle of Wight during the start of the summer, making it t he festiva l to beat . The 'Hova ' effortl essly showed off his rem arka ble rapping ski ll s when he gra ce d lOW's ma in st age w ith an incredib le set list th at encapsulated his musical career, performing a mix of worldwide hits such as 99 Problems, Hard Knock Life and t he electric Empire State of Mind amongst lesserknown earl y m aterial to th e ap preciation of his ca ree r-long avi d

fans. The throngs of thousands of people rapping along to lyrics together and making the trademark sign of 'putt1ng diamonds in t he sky' with their hands, (a reference to Jay Z's record label R.O.C, whose symbol is a diamond) provided an overwhelming atmosphere to the night.

Fans were drawn into an even biggerfrenzywhen Mr Hudson came onstage to perform Forever Young , but the most shocking reve lation was dunng Run this Town when Jay Z brought out fel low rap star Kanye West, inducing the crowds to an ecstatic high. The iconic Jay Z was enjoying himself so much that he prolonged his set, and when he eventually left the stage after an encore, the crowd knew they had witnessed a show they wou ld never forget. With t his performance Jay Z showed that hi p- hop artists can rival rock acts at Eng lish festivals, and in this case, even outshine them. As Jay Z raps in Encore, "I came I saw I conquered, from record sales to sold-out concerts". And indeed, a conquest is an apt description of his Isle ofWight performance.

hard core collective. But the true glory of Reading Festival2o1o was nostalgia, with bands like Guns N' Roses (well, somethmg vaguely resemblmg GNR anyway), The Libertines and Blink 182 all making an appearance, it tru ly was a nod to the trends of yesteryear.

Highlights for any rock fan had to be Josh Homme performing an almost flawless Queens of The Stone Age set, Brian Fallon of Gaslight Anthem managing to create an Intimate feel (an impressive f eat conside ring size of th e mai n stage), along with Frank Turner who really got the crowd going, getting them to s1t up and down for Photosynthesis. lt has to be said that the best instance of fest1val spirit by far was Weezer geezer Rivers Cuomo redefining the 'front man' by tu rni ng the eve nt int o a cabaret. The disaster that was Ax l Rose doesn't need to be rehashed, and other than a less than perfect set list from Alkaline Trio, the weekend delivered what it promised in abundance: fun, music, and laughs.

I Advertisement • Advertisement • Advertisement • Advertisement • Advertisement • Advertisement • Advertisement • Advertisement • Advertisement I ~

Want to raise your profile? A role as one of the University's Student Ambassadors could help set you on the right track. Even if you've just arrived at uni it's not too early to start developing your graduate employability!

You'll need to be motivated, a good time keeper, reliable, trust worthy and positive about your university expenence.

There's a huge variety of work to get involved in and the benefit of being part of the Scheme is the hours are up to you! You pick and choose when to apply for work that interests you when you are available. This might vary from: • Giving campus tours to visitors to the University during school/ college visits and Visit days • Working with small groups of school students during University Tasters • Attending Higher Education Fairs and Conventions or going back to your old school/ college • Participating during University Summer Schools, Focus Groups and Clearing hotlines • Leading groups of young students as part of our Primary liaison or Challenge badge Hear about the Scheme from current Student Ambassador on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday during Fresher's Week between 12-2pm in SU1 .33 , or visit our web pages for full details on how to apply. www.uea.ac.uk/outreach

TUDENTAMBA

Inter st din ro

ADOR CH M

Student Ambassadors help to promote Higher Education (HE) to young people at aspiration raisin~ events such as Summer Schools and HE Taster Days. Student Ambassadors also promote the University by working with prospective students and their families at events such es Open Days end Recruitment Fairs .

Student Ambassadors currently earn £7.93 pet hour and must commit to working a minimum of 2~ hours during the year. it's great for your CV and graduate employability skills, and you can chose to work dozens of hours during the year

Download the full job description and terms & conditions of the Scheme at www.uea.ac.ukloutreach tud 111 Amh

11 dor1 c n I o lr 111

Student Tutors work within lessons with Year 11 students at a local high school , helping to prepare them for their GCSE examinations. Tutors support English, Science, ICT or Maths; must be competent to A level In their tutoring subject; and able offer a few hours support before mock or early entry exams in November, and then 1-3 hours per week from January to May, leading up to the final exams.

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The Student Ambassador cohort should be representative of the University student body, and we are particularly interested increasing our cohort this year to recruit more male students; those studying in SCI; those who attended high school in the local area ; those who can empathise with students who will be the first generation to progress Into H.E. We are also committed to creating an inclusive environment and welcome interest from disabled students.

Want to find out more?

I FO MA ION ION Monday, Tu d y & W dn d y tud nt Union uildlng Room 1.33

12:00

12•30

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Join th Stud nt Accommod tlon VI wing Sch me We need a selection of well -ma intained campus accommodation inhabited by students who are enthusiastic and willing to communicate with visitors about university life.

Forthcoming VIsit Day dates: Wednesdays 2010: 24 NoVi 1 & 8 Dec Wednesdays 2011: 2, 9, 16, & 23 Febi 2, 9, 16, 23 & 30 Mar, 6 April Saturdays 2011: 12, 19 & 26 Febi 12 Mar

tud nt M n ot or tud nt Tutor

Student Mentors work on a 1-2-1 basis with Year 9 & 10 students in target schools in Norfolk for 2-3 hours per week for 12 weeks. Mentors draw from their own positive experiences of student life and help young people to make informed decisions about their future and the benefits of HE.

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All residents In your flat must slan an aareement form.

Everv resident In your flat will receive £25.00 Inconvenience fee.

The Flat needs to nominate ONE main contact.

TWO rooms In each flat must be available for each VIsit day.

Both residents showlna their room will be paid £7.73 for every hour they work.

Please emall savs@uea.ac.uk with your name, mdbile number and your campus address, and we will emall you with further details.

Your flat can aet an Idea of what worklna for the Student Accommodation Vlewlna Scheme Involves by showlna2 rooms We need 2 rooms In 20 flats (40 rooms) to be shown. Both residents In each flat showlna their room will be paid £7.73 for every hour they work. All resldel'lts In the flat must be In aareement and will all receive a

1. Please emall Fay Cadywould on f.cadywould@uea.ac.uk If you are Interested In showing your room at the Open Day on Saturday.

2. Go to Employability to get a Campus contract BEFORE Saturday 2"d October. Their Shop Is In the square on campus. N.B you will need a valid p1ssport or relevant ID. Please note that working on the Open Day on Saturday 2"d October will not guarantee your flat's acceptance on to the Student Accommodation Vlewln1 Scheme.

For more Information on the Scheme and for Terms and Conditions please visit https:l/lntranet.uea.ac.uklmac/RIOintranet/current/SAVS

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The Biggest Jol<e of Summer 20 1 0?

"Wh at do yo u ca ll a kid wit h no arms and an eyepatc h 7 Names." Bo Burn ham " Bein g an En g land supporter is li ke be in g th e ove roptimi stic pa rents of the fat kid on sports day."

John Bishop " How many Sp ani ard s does it take to chang e a lightbu lb 7 Juan." Dan Antopolski " Dave drowned. So at th e fun eral we got him a w reath in the shape of a lifebe lt . We ll, it's what he wou ld have wan t ed." Ga ry Del aney " I was bo rn into th e mus ic industry. My dad worked in Our Price." Doe Brown

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4. Sing le Ladies Devastat io n ImpreSS IOnS http://b it.ly/b2a FK3 2. (417): Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, Venue doesn't usually recommend upsetting small children, and we l1ve 5 minutes from the zoo. This equat1on IS easily so lvable but just try and deny the hi larity.

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are you 7 AI Gore'" 4. (231): I JUSt bedazzled my weight watchers po1nts calcu lator.

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* A Rat's tale - The Norwich Pupper Theatre- nopm (£6.so/£8.so) * Literary Festival (continues until 24th November- LT1- 6:30 (£36/£42 for season ticket)

* Freshers Fair- LCR nam-3Pm * The Magic Numbers- Waterfront7:3opm (£14adv) * Pendulum DJ Set - LCR - 9:3opm (£8adv)

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* Film - Kick-A~s- LT1- nopm (£2.80) * Architects+ Devil Sold His Soul - Waterfront (£nadv)

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* SPORTS MART- LCR- nam-4:3opm * Rock the Region- Waterfront- r3opm (£? adv) * Zane Lowe DJ Hero Tour 2- LCR9:3opm (£6adv)

lllndlyJIIIh * Freshers Fair 2- LCR- 11am-3pm * KANO -Waterfront- r3opm (£12.soadv) * Film - The Girl With The Dragon TatooLT1-7:3opm (£2.80) * POW! feat. Jaguar Skills- LCR- 1opm (£8adv) * Return of the Flange - Mercy (Free entry with flyer before 11.3opm)

Pt•'wt• * Karaoke Blue Bar- 8pm-npm * Film- Shutter Island- LT1- r3opm (£2.80) * Sarah Millican (comedienne)- LCR7:3opm (£9adv) * 8o's Night and Hit Parade- Waterfront1opm-2am (£3.50)

* The Big Prize Quiz- Blue Bar- register at 7:3opm (£3 per team) * The World Music Party- LCR 8/9pm (£4.soadv)

* Film - lnvictus - LT1- T30pm (FREE) * UEA Pride LIBERATE' Icebreaker- Hive - 8pm-1am (FREE) * Jobs Fair- LCR 12-3Pm

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GET TO I<NOW THE Veterans of the UEA will kriowthatthe LCR is the cherry on top of a perfect Fresher cake. The LCR is the on-campus venue for club nights; gigs and special events; which take place every week throughout the year.

As we are all aware by now, the Norwich nightlife is perhaps not the most electric of cities; so events on campus are the perfect substitute. Freshers, what more could you ask for than to roll out of your flat in a predrunken stupor, stumble the short walk to the square, party until your little Freshers feet get sore and then try to navigate one foot in front of the other across the veritable assault course of bushes and buildings back to your room. Simples' So the good people at Concrete have toiled night and day to give the students of UEA the definitive run down of the upcoming events of the fortnight not to be missed . Every Tuesday in term time there is a fancy dress event held at the LCR, ranging from the ever-popular permanent fixtures on the calendar of Skool Daze and Day Glo Rave; to the newer and a

LCR

little more contemporary 'Cave Rave' and 'Under The Sea' themes. Whatever the occasion, don your fancy finery and make it a night to remember. Thursdays at the LCR are usually reserved for special events, such as the up and coming POW! ft . Jaguar Skills. POW' is The Mustard Lounge's club night which has found its way onto the LCR calendar.

When the LCR is not being used as your local nightclub, its plays host to many gigs with artists such as Ellie Goulding, Plan B and Diana Vickers to name only a few who have graced our humble stage. If neither party nor music is your thing then the LCR is also by day a meeting place for societies, local businesses and a chance to get truly involved in university life .

Georgina Wade

You'll spend most of your loan there, so here's our guide to the source of many a drunken night to come ..

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1: Sexual gratification arising from inflicting or submitting one to emotional or physical abuse (13) 6: Top storey under the roof of a house (5) T Make of biro (3) g: To impress or urge forcibly (7) 1o:To make or become confused (5) 11: Friend or accomplice (3) 12: Unit of weight; small quantity (5) 14: Of, or relating to, the rectum (6) 15: Type of hat (3) 18: Very fat (5) 21: Online diary (4) 22 : Soft sweet made from sugar, butter, cream etc (5) 24 : Foolish person (5) 25 : Hit song for Roy Orbison and Don M clean

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DowN 1: A succession of ascending or descending tones in music (5) 2: Characterised by a sense of duty (7) 3: Songwritin g duo, Lennon & _(g) 4: A be ll -ring er (13) s: Latin-American knif e (7) 7: Furniture used to sleep upon (3) 8: Athletics discipline combining 10 separate events (g) 11: Ocea n (7) 13: Sin,_, tan (5) 16: _ field , used to grow rice (5) 1g: Collective expression for persons of a very high class (5) 20: Howard from the Halifax sings: who gives you _ ? (5) 23 :An indefinitelty long period of time; an age (3)

26 : Greek Goddess of wisdom (6)

Cult Canadian electro band Crystal Castles are playing the LCR on Sunday 24/10/10, and courtesy of the Union we have thre e pairs of tickets to give awa y! With a reputation for chaoti c and feverish live performances, this promises to be a fantastic gig from one of t he best live acts of the last decade.

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