Issuu

Editorial

Issue #322 23 Feb

On the subject of the Loft, the “ultimate guilty pleasure”. There has been many times when going to ‘straight’ clubs with friends, I have attempted to dance with, or hit on guys who have caught my attention, in exactly the same way that countless straight people are doing all around me. In these instances, mostly they show interest for a song or two before trying to move on to my female friend next to me. Often they respond with ridicule. Sometimes, they have got aggressive.

Venue Editors: concrete.venue@uea.ac.uk Ana Dukakis Joe Fitzsimmons Arts: concrete.arts@uea.ac.uk Niamh Jones Creative Writing: concretre.creativewriting@uea.ac.uk Jay Stonestreet Fashion: concrete.fashion@uea.ac.uk Lizz Gowens Leah Omonya Film: concrete.film@uea.ac.uk George Barker Melissa Haggar Gaming & Technology: concrete.gamingtech@uea.ac.uk Tom Bedford Music: concrete.music@uea.ac.uk Freya Gibson Daniel Jeakins Televison: concrete.television@uea.ac.uk Hannah Ford

For me, as with countless others, the Loft is supposed to be a place where I can feel completely comfortable searching for a partner without worrying about discrimination or rejection based solely on my sexuality. Your attempts at encouraging everyone to stroll in as part of just another night out on the town is damaging this. Your friends may be getting a wonderful ‘ego-boost’ by cute queer guys hiting on them, but that is no compensation to me as I yet again find myself brushed off with the ‘sorry mate, I’m not into that’ line. Rejected because of my sexuality, simply for your chance at a cheap drink. I’m asking you to consider how your blind dertermination to have a fun night might be detremental to those around you. Gay clubs are not a new, fun, passing fancy, and we are not some special breed of people with which you can have a fun adventure of a night, in an exciting taboo of a club, before you move on to your kebab. We are just people. Trying our hardest, just as everyone else is, to feel accepted by our peers, and, just maybe, get lucky tonight. In your blind ignorance to the purpose of this club, you are simply ruining that. Sometimes, regardless of what clubs we chose to frequent, we find ourselves in need of assistance in order to stable ourselves after a few. It can feel like the large group of drunks surrounding us are not the most reliable of samaritans, and a club that creates an atmosphere of safety in these instances is a great place to be. I am happy that in your misfortune you were helped back onto your feet, but please do not take this as an opportunity to cast sweeping generlisations about an entire spectrum of people. Rest assured, queer people are just as capable of being horrible. The day we come out is not marked by a ceremonial relinquishment of our capability to harbour negative opinions of other people. We may even be more inclined to be an arsehole towards you if you insist on painting us all with the same cliched stereotypes of perpetually excited and flamboyant dancers who are just craving your friendship and acceptance. I can sympathise with your motivation to go out without ‘some fuckboy’, but did you really need to come here for that? Your motivation may be sincere, but as your straight male friends follow you in tow, what have you really acheived besides bringing the fuckboys to our doorstep, trailing in your wake? Now obviously, in no way am I arguing that non lgbt+ people should be barred from gay clubs. That’s discriminatory, and would no doubt foster unwanted resentment between communities. Besides, think of the logistics of a bouncer enforcing that sort of door policy. However, if you are coming, please try and be a little aware of your motivations. I ask, are you really so entitled that, even acknowledging the Loft as a gay club, you rejoice in bringing all your straight guy and girl friends in, flooding a space we’re desperatly trying to claim as our own. I’m sure that really, you are a wonderful person, and that you mean no harm to anyone through your actions. Your apparent complete ignorance of both the point of gay clubs, and the attitudes of queer people there though, is creating destructive stereotypes and is potentially harming to lgbt+ people. Are you really attempting to perpetuate the hetro-hegemony that seeks to appropriate all spaces for itself, leaving no recluse for the lgbt+ community? The Loft is not a guilty pleasure. I do not feel guilty when I am there. If you do, would you kindly get out.

Art and Design: concrete.artdesign@uea.ac.uk Dougie Dodds

(By the way, I’m still judging you for ordering that glitter bomb. Those things are a liquid travesty)

Cover Art : Dougie Dodds

Music Melissa Haggar

Album Review: Sia - This Is Acting

Exploding into the mainstream music scene in 2014 with 1000 Forms of Fear, after simultaneously performing and writing songs for years, Sia has become an unstoppable force in the industry. Penning several successful tracks for other artists including Rihanna and Beyoncé, Sia made the transition from behind the scenes to centre stage – despite the fact that she isn’t all too fond of fame itself, and chooses not to show her face during performances, opting instead for her signature silver crop wig. What does a successful song writer do when the tracks she creates are turned down by their intended artist? Fuse them all together to create an interesting new album, of course! This is Acting is all about the different ‘roles’

Westley Barnes

in itself to guess who each song was written for – and full of good old summer fun. If you’re on the look-out for the next ‘Chandelier’ then you may find it in the form of ‘Alive’, a powerful anthem that stretches Sia’s vocals to their limits; the end result is quite something. ‘Unstoppable’ is an invigorating delight that is a cheat-sheet for how to make the perfect pop song, whilst ‘House On Fire’ will surely add a bit of spark back into your life with its passionate simplicity.

A risky venture, Sia manages to pull it off for the most part, and in some cases we get some unexpected gems from the singer. ‘Cheap Thrills’, an exotic EDM mash-up that is very ‘Pon De Replay’ – it’s almost an exciting game

Of course, for every success there are usually a few missteps, and Sia is not without fault, as tracks like ‘Reaper’ fall flat and don’t possess the same power or acting prowess to see them through to a sturdy finale. Similarly for ‘Sweet

Design’ which sounds like a disappointing tribute act to some jazzy pop singer. While This is Acting is almost like parody, and far from her most personable album (after all, that is kind of the point), it is actually rather clever in the way in which it manipulates songs written for other singers and gives them the ‘Sia effect’. What this means for her future is uncertain, but Sia’s latest album is a testament to her impressive ability as a songwriter and most importantly, her versatility as an artist.

Album Review: DIIV - Is The Is Are

Diiv are the epitome of the contemporary American guitar band in that they are so easy to write off. On immediate listening, they sound like most of the pivotal guitar bands of the last 30 years (which means they sound most guitar bands nowadays.) Their frontman Zachary Cole Smith is a drug-addled Kurt Cobainwannabe who might as well walk around with word “trust-fund” scrawled in black ink on his oversized tie dyed tee. Between an arrest for heroin possession last year, the on-off relationship with his girlfriend Skye Ferreira, his “obsession with mixing his songs” and the result of a general air of recovery/fecklessness, it’s taken him and his bandmates three years to follow-up their copycat sounding debut Ohsin with Is the Is Are (not a single fuck given for grammatical propriety intact.)

Melissa Haggar

Sia is playing by taking on songs designed by her for other artists, and in this way, she is toying with different personas, and acting her way through their ‘style’. In some songs this is quite literal, as she puts on slight accents and adjusts her vocal delivery to give a convincing performance as that star – ‘Move Your Body’ is a prime example of this, as Sia puts on an uncanny Shakira impersonation that the Colombian would be proud of. This is acting at its best, and Sia is a seasoned professional.

Now to the actual review - Is This The Are is actually quite an accomplished album. Cole may not sound the least bit original, but Diiv’s sophomore album proves that he can sound innovative. Erroneously described by Pitchfork’s Ian Cohen as “just an album about getting high” Is the Is Are sounds far more like the exact opposite - an album with the pulsating, shimmering mantra of “stay away from drugs, kids!”. This album also achieves a feat rarely seen in contemporary indie albums, the trick is that the first track ‘Out of Mind’ is merely ok - following track ‘Under The Sun’ to mimic Smith’s parlance - ‘Totally owns!’ Diiv’s second album is full of such aural conceits – ‘Dopamine’ a tale of Smith’s spiraling addiction for the hard stuff, sounds like a poppy skate through suburban summer avenues.

‘Blue Boredoms’ - with Ferreira doing her best Kim Gordon (as opposed to Courtenay Love) impression that the song sounds like the acoustic Lana Del Rey attempt that the tittle suggests and far more like the amphetamine-pepped, dirt-poor aggressive Sonic Youth of Revol. ‘Valentine’ actually manages to sound like Joy Division without overbearingly sounding like it’s trying to. All the while throughout the album the drums sound like good attempts at the Motorik technique, the bass is as playful and inventive as earlier Street Fighter sequels, and Cole’s guitar sound focused while affecting a sense of delirium. Even when presenting the listener with cautionary tales of drug taking such as ‘Bent (Roi’s Song)’ and ‘Mire (Grant’s Song’ - which manages to quote from Primal Scream’s “Movin’ On Up in a way that doesn’t

make you want to instantly change album on Spotify) Diiv makes it sound interesting, creative, cautionary - but never preachy. Is the Is Are is foremost an album where melodies build and extremities alongside them, creating an urge to continue listening to whether the band can hold out, where they can turn it next without falling apart. If Diiv’s live reviews are anything to go by, they may be one of the indie bands around today capable of making that almost sociopathic urge apparent in the viewer. For an album all about falling about, Is This The Are is certainly an exciting listen. ‘Like, Rad’.

Album Review: Foxes - All I Need

Southampton sweetheart Louisa Rose Allen – stage name Foxes – has been performing professionally since 2011 and has garnered a lot of attention in recent years following her Grammy Award winning ‘Clarity’ collaboration with Zedd. She’s come a long way since her Youth days, and this is evident in her most recent music, which is far more emotional and raw than any of her previous Glorious works, which were almost pristine in their production and a little too glossy on occasion. Her latest album, All I Need, combines pure pop splendour with emotional lyrics to create songs that possess style and substance; when it comes to making a catchy track that still maintains its meaningful nature, very few people do it better than Foxes.

Whilst her previous album was quite ethereal and wistful, All I Need is a far more serious take on her life and her heartbreak, showcasing the darker sides of relationships in devious ‘Devil Side’, a dramatic and edgy ballad that breaks the formula the singer has so dutifully followed before. The raw emotion continues on Scar, a meaningful song where we get to hear Foxes’ impressive voice crack and waver a bit as she truly immerses herself in the music, inviting us in to see a different side to the seemingly upbeat singer. There is plenty of variety in Allen’s intriguing album, and the calypso-esque Cruel is a tropical tune that is a clear stand-out, while Feet Don’t Fail Me Now shakes things up with a jazzy

banger complete with rhythmic clapping and piano beats that make you want to get up and dance. Rather than sticking to what works for her, Allen takes noticeable risks – some pay off, some don’t – especially with ‘Wicked Love and Money’. The former starts off in typical Foxes fashion (melody similar to Youth) but then does a complete switch, changing the tempo and producing a more candy-coated track that is juxtaposed with the harsher nature of the lyrics, making for a thoughtful and overall effective tune. The latter unfortunately does not have the same effect. Is it more than a bit ironic that one of the few songs that doesn’t really have an impact is the eclectic track where Foxes sings dutifully that “Money can’t love you/ Money can’t hold you”. Perhaps Foxes

is proving her point a bit too well. This track does absolutely nothing and lacks almost any personality and sense of self. Despite this, it would be appear Allen has managed to create a new album that, for the most part, has ‘all you need’. The upbeat songs with melancholy undertones are still there of course – but they are presented far more brutally and bare, not overpowered by sweeping synths or powerful percussions. All I Need highlights Allen’s ability as a personable songwriter and also utilizes her infectious vocals to its advantage, resulting in a collection of songs that show just how you produce pop that is both meaningful and conscientiously catchy. Illustrations by Ana Dukakis

Music Interview: Eliza and the Bear Jessica Frank-Keyes London based indie-pop group sat down with Jessica Frank-Keyes ahead of their show at the Norwich Waterfront on 21st January to talk about life on the road, their new-found love for Bieber, and their hopes for a top ten album. Your album comes out soon 1st April – how are you feeling about the release? We’ve known it’s been coming out for ages, obviously it’s been done since the beginning of last year so we’ve kind of been agitating to get it out there. But as it gets closer you kind of get a little more nervous about it being released and how it’s going to be received. It’s three or four years old for us now – we’ve been working on it for years, since basically the start of this band. It’s such a long time since we starting working on it. We’re so excited to have it released but now it’s finally here it’s just out of our hands, there’s nothing we can do. We’re really proud of it and we’re excited to have people hear it. We want to put it out into the world and see how people respond. Was that a decision by you guys – to tour now and then to have it released later? We got way more radio backing than we

Daniel Jeakins

expected. When we released Make It On My Own and it started getting played, it wasn’t part of the plan at all. We didn’t realise we’d get that radio love - so it just makes more sense now to postpone the release so as many people can hear about the band as possible. We don’t want to alienate the people who’ve been listening to us for years, we want to get them the new music as soon as possible, but at the end of the day there’s way more people who haven’t even heard of us yet so we just want to be on the biggest platform we can really. Finger’s crossed for a top ten album then? Yeah definitely – I want that gold disc on the wall. What’s the song writing process like? We’ve gone back to doing it in a band format, where we sit and jam the whole song and play it the whole way through. It’s almost like a scrapbook this album, from the day we wrote the tracks to recording them. We don’t really think about it but we do have a ‘sound’ as a band and we’ve really found that with this album. We re-recorded a lot of the songs that were done in studios last year and re-did

them all together for the album and it really brought everything up a level. It still has that euphoric, Eliza-and-the-Bear sound, but there are a few darker tracks in there. We had time to experiment. What artists do you enjoy listening to – is there anyone that informs your sound? We all have our own big musical influences, punk, rock, instrumentals and so on but we’re all huge pop fans – we listen to radio and chart music: Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, The Weeknd. It’s the pop melodies and top lines that get us going as well as thinking about what new bands are doing, what we can take from that and learn from that. This kind of music is popular for a reason, it’s being written by the most talented songwriters. We’re partial to a bit of Bieber, everyone’s a ‘Belieber’ now. Do you think it’s important for bands to play small venues like the Waterfront? Definitely, especially at the beginning when you’re building your audience. It’s still an hour and a half journey to get in to London to see a band so if you don’t take the time to play people’s hometowns your fans won’t get to see

you live. It’s what builds the character of your playing live and it keeps the venues alive. We know first-hand how important it is to play smaller venues. Do you have a favourite song that you love playing live? It changes every night to be honest, depending on the response from the crowd. Some of the songs we’ve been playing since the early days, I literally could close my eyes and play them so it’s good to have the newer material where you’re not in so much of a routine. Light It Up’s been pretty good recently. At the end of the day, you make music for other people to listen to, so it really depends on the reaction. How did you come up with your band name? Paul found a book of poems which happened to be sitting in a shop window in San Francisco. We had no intentions to be a proper band at that point, we didn’t really think that anyone would hear our music and not know what we looked like, so the fact that we had a girl’s name in our band name didn’t really occur to us until way down the line when people were like ‘Who’s Eliza? Who’s the Bear?’

Live Review: Tame Impala at Alexandra Palace

Tame Impala’s rise from representing Aussie teenagers with a taste for psychedelics to selling out rooms as large as Alexandra Palace’s main hall has been one of the great victories for guitar music in the 21st century. Their last record, Currents, was named the best of album of 2015 by Q, while sophomore effort Lonerism received the same accolade in 2012 from NME. Their rise has been meteoric and yet they remain uncompromising in their craft - their psychedelic-inspired guitar parts and mesmerising indie beats remain as potent as when they first arrived and haven’t been limited to suit the tastes of their new, far wider audience. Their set at this iconic London venue begins

explosively, with confetti flying through the lights of a giant laser beam as the beat dropped on latest album opener ‘Let It Happen’. The band themselves appear entirely engulfed in the sound they’re creating and deliver delectable melodies effortlessly. Kevin Parker is a shy figure at centre stage but his vocal performance is remarkable - his pitch never wavers and he hits high notes with such incredible effortlessness. There are frequent changes of pace offered by the band’s remarkably diverse and consistent discography that ensure the performance never drags. The roaring, grungy bass of 2012 single ‘Elephant’ compliments the melancholy, spacey vibes of ‘Why Won’t They Talk To Me?’

brilliantly. One minute the band channel Pink Floyd on the epic instrumental segments of ‘New Person, Same Old Mistakes’, the next they’re leading the crowd in an LCD Soundsystem-esque dance party with the funk-inspired ‘The Less I Know The Better’. It’s a remarkably diverse gig and just when you think this incredible band don’t have anything left up their sleeve, they lead the crowd into a mass sing-a-long of ‘Feels Like We Only Go Backwards’ in a euphoric, ‘arms round a random stranger’ moment. There are some notable absences in the set, but it’s a credit to the strength of the band’s output that few go away dissappointed with the track selection. First record Innerspeaker has become

something of a cult classic but is largely ignored this time around in favour of cuts from Currents - a decision which considering the new album’s popularity feels like a good one. Recent single ‘Cause I’m A Man’ also fails to make the cut, but generally the band fails to dissappoint with the songs they play. Few bands are able to make the jump to larger venues with such effortless grace - Tame Impala prove themselves to be exceptional performers who in the years to come feel destined to headline the biggest festivals in the world. They take the crowd on a psychedelic voyage to remember and don’t let go until right the very end - the future is very, very bright for this band.

Illustration by Ana Dukakis

Music The Australian Music Scene

Bijanka Zubonja Born in Sydney, the Australian music scene has become something to which I am no stranger. Although international artists/bands are a huge part of Australian music culture, it is the locally homegrown music that continues to attract increasing attention across the nation. Without sounding incredibly biased, (although how could I not be), the quality of music coming out of Australia has reached new heights, and our distant country from way down south can now qualify as a key player in distributing great music – just think of names such as Tame Impala, Chet Faker and Courtney Barnett. One particular radio station that prides itself on diversity in music is Triple J. Triple J’s ‘Hottest 100’ proves to be their most popular event, as listeners vote for their top ten songs released throughout the year with the countdown being held on Australia Day (January 26th). As well as being an essential part of Australia Day celebrations alongside backyard cricket and barbecues (cue the stereotypes), getting the #1 spot provides huge opportunities, with many winners embarking on national tours and headlining Australian music festivals shortly after. Triple J’s smaller programs include ‘Feature Albums’ where a new album is played and reviewed each week, ‘Like A Version’ in which artists/bands perform an original song and a cover in the Triple J studio, and weeknight programs dedicated to specific genres including ‘Home & Hosed’, which specifically plays new Australian music, ‘Hip-Hop show’, and ‘House Party’. As previously mentioned, the musical talent emerging from Australia is reaching unprecedented heights. A common feature, however, is that many Australian

bands/artists have reached success across the nation but are still yet to receive equal recognition internationally. In saying that, here are a few brilliant Aussie talents that I believe are on the verge of making it big across the pond! 1. The Rubens Taking out the #1 spot in Triple J’s Hottest 100 this year with their hit song ‘Hoops’, the four-piece band from New South Wales are clearly loved across the nation, and are definitely on the brink of gaining just as much recognition overseas. Their latest album Hoops, released in August 2015, delves into a hybridity of various tones including alternative rock, blues and a whole heap of soul. The band was first discovered through Triple J’s Unearthed, as they won the competition in 2012. Following their win in the Hottest 100 countdown, their single ‘Hoops’ reentered the ARIA Charts in Australia at a new peak of #9 in February 2016. Triple J has been instrumental in the discovery and perpetuation of the popularity of The Rubens, and it’s clear the band is only going to get bigger and better. Songs to check out: ‘Hoops’, ‘Hallelujah’, ‘Holy Grail’ 2. Rüfüs Known as Rüfüs Du Sol across North America, the three-piece from Sydney formed in 2010 following an impromptu jam session in the musically soaked coastal town of Byron Bay. Six years on and the band are continuing to deliver electric, ambient dance sounds that make it near impossible to resist a good bopping of the head, making their sound incredibly popular within the underground club scene across Australia. Their debut album

Atlas gained incredible success as it debuted at #1 on the Australian Album Charts in 2013. It’s obvious that Rüfüs have hit the big time across Australia, but are now also starting to have an impact internationally as they play the reputable Coachella festival in April this year.

on the ARIA club chart (“High” and “Take Me Over”) and have played numerous prestigious music festivals in Australia including Falls Festival and Splendour in the Grass. It is clear the duo are set to make waves internationally as they are soon to embark on a North American tour.

Songs to check out: ‘You Were Right’, ‘Take Me’, ‘Sundream’

Songs to check out: ‘High’, ‘Say My Name’, ‘Take Me Over’

3. Meg Mac It’s hard to talk about emerging Australian talent without mentioning Meg Mac. Meg Mac’s career began following her win of the Triple J Unearthed competition in 2014, and since then has been nominated for ‘Rolling Stone Australia’s’ Best New Talent. The 25 year old from Melbourne delivers a pop tone with powerhouse vocals primarily accompanied with a keyboard and simple percussion, but never failing to deliver soul. Meg Mac has conquered the national airwaves across Australia, and has started to make her name known overseas, as she has signed to a U.S. label and is playing ‘The Governors Ball Music Festival’ in June this year alongside big names like Kanye West, The Strokes and CHVRCHES.

5. Sticky Fingers Forming in 2009, Sticky fingers are a five-piece originating from Sydney whose sound is difficult to pinpoint to one or two genres. The band deliver a fusion of contradictory sounds, and describe their music as a “melting pot of reggae, psych, pop and bourbon” and influenced by the likes of Pink Floyd and The Clash. The band has undeniably reached national recognition across Australia with their two studio albums, Caress Your Soul (2013) and Land of Pleasure (2014), which debuted at #3 on the ARria Albums Chart. Sticky Fingers have begun to also make a name for themselves across the globe as they toured Europe in 2014, and North America and Canada in 2015. The hybridity of sounds mixed with honest and raw lyrics highlights why Sticky Fingers are a favourite band of mine, and why they have started to make an impact internationally.

Songs to check out: ‘Roll Up Your Sleeves’, ‘Never Be’, ‘Grandma’s Hands’ (cover of Bill Withers original) 4. Peking Duk Electronic dance duo Peking Duk first began to receive attention in 2012 with the release of a bootleg remix of Passion Pit’s ‘Take A Walk’. Since then, the producers have collaborated with well-known Aussie vocalists to produce high-energy, sweaty dance tracks that Australia has come to know and love. Peking Duk have released numerous singles, two of which have hit #1

Songs to check out: ‘Gold Snafu’, ‘Rum Rage’, ‘Bootleg Rascal’ The Australian music scene has become enriched with some incredible local musicians that have gained incredible popularity across the nation, and are beginning to make themselves known internationally - making me one definitely proud Aussie! Photo Credit: Ghalas, Wikimedia

Music Interview with Enter Shikari Rachel Grice As the band embark on their biggest tour yet, Venue caught up with bassist Chris Batten for a heads up on what to expect: So, how are you coping with the pre-tour mayhem? Mayhem is the right word, I mean the programming and the designing of the show has been going on since October last year; piecing ideas together and the extra creation of the audio, and the production side of things have been going on this Feb, so it’s all just kind of coming together now in this last week of rehearsals. It’s been stressful but it’s getting there now. Is the production side quite a big part of this tour then? Yeah, absolutely, I mean we’ve always aimed to really push our own boundaries, not only with our writing, but with our live shows as well, and this is just kind of the next logical step for us to getting really much more involved in the production side of it. We’re doing this tour in ‘Quadrophenic Sound’, which is essentially surround sound, so we bring everything to the venues in order to produce that, along with the video creation. We just want to utilise everything we can really; these are the biggest shows we’ve ever done and we want to make it a different experience to what anyone’s seen before. It’s just a way for us to really progress and to give the audience a different experience. So is the tour coming from primarily the band, not any other external forces?

Yeah this is definitely the most hands on we’ve ever been; we’ve been doing it all ourselves. As time’s gone on we’ve just got more and more confident and more and more control freakish, in a good way I think, but I’m not sure the crew see it that way… Do you think the heavy production side of this tour will detract from the famous Shikari rawness? Well I think we have two sides to us, obviously with these kind of venues its harder to keep it that raw and intense, so we’re really focussing on the production. However that’s not say that we’ll be hesitating to get down and into the crowd, we’ve been trying to find ways to make it more raw, even on the bigger sites. In saying that however, on the tour you’re going to be playing Wrexham, which is pretty small, especially when compared to Alexandra Palace. Yeah it is, its capacity is something around 500 or 800 but I mean playing all these big shows like Ally Pally, we’ve kind of thrown Wrexham in there to get the audience in our face, just for our pleasure really, ‘get our fix’ you know? Speaking of Ally Pally, the acoustic set you did there was pretty cool, what provoked you to do that? Well, we went to go check out the venue, and they showed us this old theatre that was completely abandoned and we just absolutely loved it. It seemed a shame not

to do something with it, like we wanted people to have some more awareness about it, and at the time we were in the middle of getting some acoustic tracks together, but we weren’t necessarily sure, so the two kind of fell into our laps really. Do you feel you’re moving more towards drum and bass, a more primarily electronic sound? I don’t think there’s anything set in stone with us really, I mean the [The Mindsweep] Hospitalised was other artists putting their spin on our songs, but in terms of our own writing the electronic and production side of things is only going to progress, and that’s all we really want to do. We wouldn’t ever want to put out the same two albums or whatever, we’d always be aiming to push our boundaries in any way, so it will definitely change, but I don’t think it will go straight drum and bass anytime soon. I guess following on from that, you’ve got the Shikari Sound System side project doing quite well at the moment? Yeah that’s really good fun, and again I think it’s like us ‘getting our fix’ as it were. We’ve got the small venues where we get the more punky, sweaty atmosphere, but then you go to the other side of the spectrum where we do more drum and bass DJ-ing with the Shikari Sound System, and then you have the Enter Shikari live shows that are somewhere in the middle of that. So you’re touring with the King Blues and The Wonder Years, who are both pretty

big names for support acts. I mean we were honoured really, and I think the tour just kind of makes sense now with these two bands, and obviously they have the same kind of outlook and thinking as us; each of these bands stand for something. I guess the outlook behind the band is important, especially in a political way with you guys, why is that? We’ve just never been able to write about something we didn’t care about. I know Rou has never been able to write a song about break ups or something like that. I think with our music as well, we have to be able to get up on stage and to really mean it, with performing every night it has to be something we feel passionately about. Do you think you’ve alienated potential fans, with such a vocal political stance? I mean there’s obviously people who go in thinking there’s a message in the music and it’s all political and automatically switch off, but I think as well we try not to take ourselves too seriously, so it’s still a very fun time. Can we expect anything else from the band in the future? Right now we’re focussing on quite a lot of shows this year, but towards the end of the year I’m sure we’ll start thinking about [album] number five - no plans to stop any time soon.

By Andreas Lawen, Fotandi - Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=41104005

Fashion Walking in Heels How not to do it Becky Evans This is normally how it goes: you spot a pair of killer heels literally calling your name in the shop, and you just have to buy them. Even if this comes with severe consequences such as sacrificing food and potentially alcohol for the week... well, maybe the day. But hey, it’ll all be worth it when you’re ready to go and channel your inner Naomi Campbell, with a walk so fearsome it would make Kendall Jenner quake in her boots… Even if your catwalk is Prince of Wales Road. The deal is done, the shoes are bought, and even though you’re considerably poorer than when you set off to town you cannot wait to make your debut with your new babies Asap.

However, in a cruel twist of fate this is when you discover that you can’t walk in your new heels. It appears that admiring them in the mirror of the shop, taking a few steps to ensure they fit properly (and posing for photos) doesn’t count in making sure you can actually walk in them. The rest of the journey on foot to the club is spent clinging onto anything you can find with dear life. Envisage Bambi on ice accompanied

Many hours are spent finding the perfect outfit to accompany the new loves in your life. After copious amounts of sweat, blood, tears (and wine) you’ve finally found that one dress that’s going to be 100% Instagram worthy and totally blag you well over ten likes. I’ll set the scene, your big night has arrived. It’s a Thursday, and Thursdays mean one thing: Mantra, obviously. Your hair and make-up are done, you’ve just shimmied into your little number and slipped the heels onto your feet and you’re feeling pretty damn fabulous. Pre drinks have begun and your friend just put your favourite Beyoncé song on, what could possibly go wrong? However now we must dwell on the terrible reality of it all. The taxi pulls up outside the club and you’re ready to strut your stuff. But instead of the fierce walk Tyra Banks would applaud, you twist your ankle and very nearly fall flat on your face. Of course, attempting to style it out and keep your cool you shake it off, eager to forget how much of a complete and utter fool you feel.

by the occasional terrified squeal, alongside strangers shooting you concerned glances and you’ve pretty much got the idea. However, not to be deterred, you continue as the glowing lights of the club and the mile-long queue come into sight. Finally, being able to rest your feet whilst you wait in line you feel some relief, trying to regain your dignity and reassuring yourself it can’t get much worse. How wrong and naive you are. With hopes that after resting your feet for the last 25 minutes has somehow miraculously provided you with the skill to walk in six inch heels you make your move towards the bouncer, ID in hand. You edge yourself closer to the entrance as you’re beckoned in. However, due to trying to pass off skillful wobbling as a walk you forget to pay attention to the uneven pavement in front of you. Cue you - in the most ungraceful manner falling headfirst into the bouncer, catching him unawares and nearly sending both of you flying half way down Prince of Wales Road. So. Not. Classy. Better yet, you look down to find you’ve split your dress in the process. Hurriedly trying to regain your balance, you’re met with the face of a very puffy, very angry bouncer. Uh-oh.

Ed Gregory, Pexels

Blistered, traumatised, and exhausted, it’s almost a relief when he declares you’re “too drunk” and won’t be allowed in. Of course this isn’t the case, but if it means you can go home, tuck yourself into bed with chocolate, Netflix, and no heels in sight, then you allow him to think that as you apologise and scurry away. So, after one sprained ankle, a pair of ruined heels and a seriously, seriously damaged ego the guide to wearing heels is nice and simple. Never wear them. Never, ever ever.

How to get it right On a more serious note there are plenty of way to make rocking your favourite heels that bit more comfortable. For one you could go for a wedge shoe or a chunkier block heel. Thicker heels help you to distribute your weight more evenly through your feet, making wearing heels just that bit more comfortable. One of the things that makes heels quite uncomfortable to wear, particulary in strappy heels, is the feeling that you are sliding forward in your shoes. Hair spray is a weird suggestion but it actually works. Gymnasts use this to help their leotards stick on, some make-up artists apply it to set all their hard work in place, and they can most definitley be used to temporarily stick you to the insides of your shoes. Gel insets are a popular way to make weaing heels more comfotable. They give your feet a more pliable, cushion-like surface to rest on and they provide a grear barrier between your feet and your shoes that really help to prevent blisters.

Practice makes perfect. This is a simple solution to a very common promlem. Walking in heel is very different to walking in flats. Your centre of gravity is shifted, you’re a couple more inches off the ground, and all of a sudden your entire weight, it seems, is resting on your toes. It is perfectly okay for it to take a while to get the hang of it. Walk around in them. If you have bought a pair of shoes to wear to a particluar event, make sure to take time to walk around in them for a while. This way you can point out any problem areas. Are you sliding forward? Do they rub your feet a certain way? This way you can work your way to fixing them, or even just breaking them in. The best advice that I can give you regarding the wearing of heels is this, be resonable. People are demanding far to much of their feet these days. If you have to walk around for hours at a time and you are still not completely comfortable in heels, don’t wear them. You will always look better the more comfortable you are in what you are wearing, so if you have to be on your feet a lot, wear your gorgeous flats with pride. If the occasion however simply calls for fabulous pair of knock outs heels,

hopefully some of these tips will make your night just a little bit more easy on your feet.

Wicker Paradise, Flickr

Fashion Tech Accessories How To Have Fun With Your Day to Day Tech Leah Omonya Fashion has always influenced our technology. From the introduction of ornate Grandfather clocks and beyond, the desire for the aesthetically pleasing have merged with our desire to technologically adavance ourselves. Now with the rising popularity of wearable technology, it is only fitting that fashion and technology companies caught on and are marketing said products to us now more than ever. Here is just a glimpse at the ways you can have fun with technology. 1. Watches are the obvious example of a fashionable technological item. They come in all colours, shapes and sizes. They vary in texture and material, all with the simple aim to look good and appeal to the mood or look that you are trying to achive that day. From the classic swiss watches to the multi-coloured Swatch, there are so many options to play around with. Most recently Apple and Samsung have released their smart watches, and this has raised the bar for arm candy significantly. Now not only will your timepiece look great, it can also do almost as much as your phone. With the variety of straps available for these smart watches, there are now infinite ways that they can be personalised to suit your style. 2.Headphones haven’t always been the most attractive of technological items but in more recent times more and more companies are focusing on making them as attractive as the phones and computers that we plug them into. Companies

like Skinny Dip London and the Instagram staple, Frends have been making waves with their beautiful and relatively affordable headphone choices. Whether you want your headphones to come in rosegold or coated in diamantes, these two, and many other brands, have got you covered. 3. Since the advent of smart phones, phone cases have really blown up as a way to personalise our most used piece of technology. In a world where it seems that we all either have, an iPhone, Samsung, or HTC, phone cases allow you to put your personal stamp on your phone. After all, chances are you are going to be be stuck with it for the next 24 months, so phone cases give you a chance to mix it up and, near the end of your lenghty phone contract, if you squint, pretend that you have an entirely differrent phone. 4. Glasses are arguably wearable technological items, after all they can make those with vision impairments see. Joking aside, glasses do actually feature the end product of many a technological advancment, from reaction lenses to the ability to filter out UV rays. The most recent leap forward for the eyewear industry was made by Google, when they launched Google Glass. While they weren’t as successful due to the sheer ridiculousness of their appearance, who knows, in a couple of years time that could very well be where our eyewear technology is heading. I guess we will just have to wait and see.

Dougie Dodds

Campus Catwalk Roseneath Machube Name: Zara Scholey Year: First Studying: Nursing How can you go wrong with a waterfall coat? Zara looks well put together and still very casual. This is a look we can all emulate without too much effort.

Olivia has such a casual vibe going which is practical and still very much stylish. This is perfect for days when you haven’t got time to worry about what to wear.

Shuo’s coat is totally the bomb. I can’t decide if the coat or shoes steal the show, however this is a pretty darn cool ensemble.

The standout piece here has to be the gorgeous coat which really elevates her comfortable casual outfit. I am also really loving the simplicity of the monochrome look. It makes it so easy to match various pieces in your wardrobe and get a ton of great outfits in the process.

Roseneath Machube

Name: Olivia Parr Year: Third Studying: Business Management

Name: Shuo Yang Year: First Studying: Film television and creative practise

What really caught my attention was how much fun Shuo has with colour. In the concrete jungle that is our campus, you can’t help but be drawn to the bright splashes of red that make up his look. It is a really cool way of injecting your personality into the clothes that you wear. Roseneath Machube

This is very much an outfit of staple pieces. We all need a trusty pair of dark denim jeans and a comfortable pair of trainers. The hoody is a fun and weather appropriate option and I can’t help but lust after Olivia’s gorgeous bomber jacket.

Roseneath Machube

Arts

Roald Dahl

Controversial, Magical and Adored by Millions and He Would Be One Hundred Years Old this Year. Niamh Jones I’d like to take you back in time. The year is 2003; you’re about seven or eight and you find yourself in a primary school classroom, sat on the scratchy carpet ready for afternoon registration. Your form tutor hobbles in after a hard hour of screaming at small children to form orderly lunch queues. She’s wearing a criminal amount of beaded necklaces and a murderous face that would put Medusa to shame. She heaves herself into the desk chair and after kicking off her shoes, begins to take the register. You look down at her feet. Not only do they smell like a dead cat, those toes are definitely square. Everything makes sense: the hatred of children, the square toes, and the general aura of terror that surrounds her. She’s definitely a witch. I blame Roald Dahl entirely for this hypothesis. This year marks one hundred years since Roald Dahl’s birth. He died in 1990, aged 74, leaving behind a legacy of some of the most vivid and wildly imaginative literature ever written for children. After an eventful career in the RAF, which culminated in a mysterious crash in the Libyan Desert, Dahl led a difficult life. His four month old child was hit by a taxi whilst in his pram, suffering from brain damage for a while afterwards. Two years later, his daughter Olivia

died after a vicious bout of measles, and his wife suffered a cerebral aneurysm whilst pregnant with their fifth child. Yet throughout all of this despair, his prevailing sense of mischief and fun kept him and his loved ones afloat. His writing is often a victim of the times he lived in, and this has led to a great deal of controversy surrounding the author, sparking accusations of racism. The most famous example of this is his description of the OompaLoompas in the first edition of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, where they are portrayed as a group of around three thousand “black pygmies” brought over by Willy Wonka from “the very deepest and darkest part of the African jungle where no white man had been before.” These aren’t the Oompa-Loompas that I remember reading about, owing to the re-write in 1972 after a mass of complaints as the book gained popularity in the US. Following a public apology in which Dahl insisted he never intended the book to appear racist, he changed their appearance to their current “rosywhite”, dwarfish, hippy aesthetic. Critics are mostly united in their belief that Dahl was simply a victim of his own era, in which colonialism was rife and such language was deemed acceptable. Dahl certainly had no hesitation in making

the changes, and was able to adapt to the political correctness of the following era with ease. A huge number of people have asked why there are so few Roald Dahl films from when he was alive, a fact that doesn’t correlate with the popularity of his books (translated into fifty eight different languages, which have sold over two hundred million copies worldwide). The dramatic reason for this is purely the cinematic wreck/trippy masterpiece that is the 1971 Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory. Dahl wrote the screenplay for Paramount Pictures, who then promptly had it heavily edited by David Seltzer. The edits caused Dahl to totally disown the film, infuriated by the inclusion of the ‘Fizzy Lifting Drinks’ scene and the heavy focus on Willy Wonka, not his protagonist Charlie Bucket. He is also rumoured to have asked for Spike Milligan to be cast as the charismatic Wonka, and was upset that this never came to be. The whole affair caused Dahl to be thoroughly protective of any of his works being made into films; this was the main reason there was never a sequel. He did however write some of our favourite classic films, such as Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and the James Bond gem that is You Only Live Twice. Since his death, we’ve had the delight of Wes Anderson’s

Fantastic Mr Fox, Tim Burton’s (properly titled, up yours Paramount) Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and most excitingly, a Steven Spielberg adaptation of The BFG being released in July later this year. The fact that such famous directors have flocked to Dahl’s books like a pack of Snozzwangers is testament to his genius; there aren’t many authors who can boast such a hoard of award-winning films adopted from their work. Go Dahl. I’m going to take you back to that primary school classroom, with that form tutor who was definitely a witch, with the foulest smelling coffee breath ever exhaled from a human mouth. My belief that this woman was a witch is a testament to the fantastic writing of Roald Dahl. He has ensnared millions of minds with his writing, and they are some of the scariest things you’ll probably read as a child. Dream-stealing giants, child-eating witches and a troupe of giant insects hitching a ride in a peach, not to mention a school where there’s a very real threat of being locked in a room filled with large nails and broken glass by the murderous headmistress, are all bound to leave you feeling a little on edge. So go home, pick up that book you read as a small child and read it again with older eyes. You might be pleasantly surprised to discover that Roald Dahl’s writing lives on.

Illustrations by Niamh Jones

Arts

UEA Artists Presents: Zines

Olivia Minnock

Politics, Society and the Long-Armed Stapler: Zines and Independent Print Culture

Whenever I get into a discussion about print culture, I always have to bite my tongue to stop myself saying “well, since the invention of the printing press in the fifteenth century…” and enter into a lengthy description of the role the printing press and its part in the reformation. Then, I realise that what I’ve really been asked is a much simpler question: “What is a zine?” I therefore choose to begin with that.

Picture Show. Even one solitary cult film can provide fodder for a whole series of zines, if you have writers who are passionate about it. Although you can make a zine about perfectly harmless, mainstream and normal material, as I have done, independent publishing inevitably becomes associated with more “alternative” genres. In this vein, zine cultue and the punk movement are intrinsically linked. Before social media, zines were the first port of call for interviews with lesser-known bands, and even the dates and locations of the hottest local gigs.

“Zines”, pronounced zeen, like magazine, are essentially that. Traditionally handmade, but often professionally printed, and invariably self-published or developed by independent publishers, zines are small booklets, usually containing poetry, prose, factual articles, Another movement photographs or illustrations. In order to be zines became closely defined as a zine, it’s often said circulation associated with was the must fall below 1000 copies per issue, butin feminist movement. The reality it is usually much less than this. underground Riot Grrrl Some are totally unique, or may only have movement, linked to five or ten copies produced. The definition third wave feminism of a zine is somewhat loose; by its very and hardcore punk, nature, a zine does not have to conform to addresses issues such particular standards and ideas. When you as domestic violence, publish something yourself, it leaves you in rape, patriarchy and the driving seat, and there’s no need to stick female empowerment; to a theme or various publication norms. In Riot Grrrl subculture fact, it is arguably the point of zines to stand resulted in the out as something a bit different; they might production of many contain controversial words and images, look zines, some of which are now at things in a different way, or feature art so anthologised in a collection entitled A post-post-post-modern I confess to not really Girl’s Guide to Taking over the understanding it myself. Zines are a great World: Writings opportunity to create a series, such as one off comic books, or creative writing on llington a theme, but equally they can be Emma Wa standalone. One type of zine many of us are familiar with is the fanzine. These are essentially publications based around something the producer admires, such as an artist or band. The most popular topics for fanzines include horror films and science fiction, and there is evidence of sci-fi fanzines as far back as the 1930s.

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As an example, for fans of book and film The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Mary Alice publishes a fanzine called Punk Rocky which centres around the Rocky Horror

from the Girl Zine Revolution. Giving a voice to groups who feel oppressed and marginalised such as young women, with whom the mainstream media did not take much of an interest, can therefore be said to be one of the greatest achievements of zine culture and independent publishing.

Indeed, independent, non-censored printed publication gives the opportunity to get political points across, as has been done since the 1400s, by affording publishers the ability to shock and awe; anyone who has been to a zine fair and seen the inevitable stalls with bloody political imagery, or

weren’t built to please everyone – quite the opposite, in fact. In terms of distribution, it’s rare that a zine-maker or independent publisher will be in it for the money. Zines are a work of passion, and therefore tend to remain within small, niche markets or alternatively can be traded, borrowed or given away for free. Fairs take place across the country, many towns have their own zine archive, and zines can also be purchased on popular DIY websites such as Etsy.

in your face images of female genitalia will understand. While some of these bold statements would not wash with mainstream media – perhaps for some valid reasons – they are excellent opportunities to get people to talk and take notice. However, a worry for those of us who publish zines will always be this: if there is no censorship, how do we keep from causing offense? The short answer is that we don’t. This can be both liberating and terrifying. Last year, UEA’s Feminist Society published an edition of their popular zine “Riot” with an image of a feminist kicking Robin Thicke. Although the woman in the illustration was labelled as a metaphor, “the embodiment of the anger of pretty much every feminist ever”: this nethertheless sparked debate among UEA students about whether the cover was promoting violence against men. I changed the title of an upcoming zine which I had intended as satirical when it was pointed out to me that those who only read the cover may find it offensive. The frightening thing about selfpublishing is that the buck doesn’t stop with the bigwigs of your publishing company or your editor-in-chief. In self-publishing, it stops with you. It’s up to you to decide if you want to play it safe or simply admit that zines

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When I started my first year at UEA, I was quite surprised that a university famed for its literary prowess and creative writing courses did not already have several zine groups. Aside from the Feminist Society and the occasional fanzine, there didn’t seem to be a community, as I had discovered amongst zinesters at the Dublin Zine fair when I lived in Ireland. In my my second year, I decided to set up a zine society of my own. where people could come together, collaborate, share ideas and self-publish. In an unexpected collaboration with co-founder Jessica Rhodes, who had been thinking along the same lines, UEA Publishers was born. We run workshops to produce zines, as well as reflecting a natural progression by producing a series of chapbooks which have been edited by a committee, and helping publish the Undergraduate Creative Writing Anthology.

y Jenn

In pitching the society, and in particular the zine department, it was necessary to explain why zines are so necessary. If we’ve got Venue, why do we need zines? Submitting to a professional-style newspaper can often be daunting, whereas zines can be made for your own enjoyment and shown to as many or as few people as possible. Many people instead choose to keep a blog; I myself am one of them, but having experienced both I can certainly say that pressing your printed art into someone’s hands or watching them smile or laugh as they read your piece at a fair right in front of you is an entirely different experience to gaining followers on Wordpress or Blogger. You can explore your creativity, challenge norms and come up with new and alternative views to be shared. If you write a zine or part of one, which within a few weeks’ time you find yourself disagreeing with, then great. That’s the point.

Creative Writing ‘For this issue I got you all writing about secrets. Everybody has them, nobody keeps them. Perhaps you have one. Perhaps you are keeping one. Perhaps people are keeping one from you. And on that note: “three people can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.”’ - Jay Stonestreet (quoting Benjamin Franklin), Creative Writing editor

Daisy Chains Claire sat out on the deck, a glass of sparkling water in her hand. She pushed herself forwards and backwards with her tiptoes, lost in thought. She was eight years old and plucking daisies for a necklace. At eight every daisy was the same; she didn’t discriminate against the crumpled ones or the ones that had wilted in the heat. As a child she had been reprimanded for not striving higher. She was told she’d never achieve anything if she didn’t. It never occurred to them that she didn’t particularly want anything. All Claire wanted was to be happy. And now, at thirty-five, she felt she had achieved her goal. She was content with her whitewashed Missouri house in the suburbs and a husband who really did care about her, even if they had their difficulties. A droplet of water landed in the river. It was beginning to rain. Covered by the balcony above, she remained still, sipping her drink, whilst the rain came down in torrents. Things in Claire’s life often happened like that. One minute everything would be calm and satisfactory, the next the world would be crashing down around her just for the clouds to part again and the blue sky to begin peaking through. The storm was always over quickly, almost as if it hadn’t happened at all. And sometimes, she couldn’t help but cause the storm. Soon Rick would be home from work. Tonight they were celebrating. With a sigh, Claire left the deck and went inside. In the kitchen she prepared the table in advance, laying down cutlery for three courses and arranging a little display of flowers in the centre. Daisies of course. She flitted round the kitchen just like a regular housewife, except she wasn’t. She was a writer, the kind of writer who was always eager for a new story and would go to extreme lengths to get it. Currently, Claire was suffering from a serious case of writer’s block. She’d tried everything to rid it but nothing was inspiring. The clock in the hallway struck ten. Rick was late. That would be a good comment to throw in, Claire thought. She stirred the mint and pea soup she had just blended over a moderate heat, humming to herself. As she stood stirring, a key clicked in the door and her husband entered. “Hello,” he called, pushing closed the door behind him. He hung up his coat and turned to her with a broad smile, that ‘Hi honey I’m home’ kind of smile. “Hello,” she replied, barely taking her eyes off the stove. “Everything okay, my dear?” he asked, noticing her distance. “Yes, I’m fine,” she said, her voice clipped. “I hope you’re hungry.” “Starving,” he exclaimed, pouring himself a large whiskey and taking his seat at the table, his eyes taking in the flowers and the spread of cutlery. Claire took the soup off the hob and served it into two deep bowls.

She placed the bowls onto plates, already garnished with bread and a knob of butter, and laid them on the table. “This looks wonderful,” Rick commented, staring widely. “You never do soup for starter. You never make a starter. Why all the effort?” Without waiting for his wife’s response, Rick picked up a chunk of bread, ripped it in half and dunked it into the soup. Soup ran down the bread and over his fingers. When he’d taken the bite, he licked his hand with a large, wet tongue, before picking up his soupspoon and slurping down the green liquid. “Do you really not remember what we’re celebrating?” Claire asked, letting the childish tones of disappointment creep into her voice. “And do you have to be so vulgar?” she rebuked. Stunned at her tone, Rick dropped his spoon with a clatter. “I’m sorry Claire, have I forgotten something?” “Only our wedding anniversary,” she retorted. Realisation and guilt. “You always forget. I knew you would. And you were home late. Is it so hard to come home on time once in a while?” She paused. “It’s okay, I’m sure you were doing something mighty important. Having a drink after work were you?” she questioned. She’d smelt the mixture of alcohol and chewing gum on his breath the moment he’d walked in. “Actually yes.” The anger in his voice bubbled out. “Julian’s wife was diagnosed with cancer at the weekend so I took him out for a drink.” He downed his whiskey. They pinned each other to the wall with angry glares. “Maybe I’d hurry home more often if you weren’t such a nag.” Rick left the table and poured himself another drink. “Like that’s going to help.” The words slipped out before Claire could stop them. “It’ll help me.” “That’s it, isn’t it? Always looking out for number one.” Claire’s anger was back, it was seething inside her. She threw down her napkin and left the room, hand cupping her mouth as if to hold back her tears. Only there were no tears. Claire’s anger was manufactured. She ran up the stairs and threw herself on the bed. After several minutes, Rick stomped up the stairs behind her. He wrapped his arms around his wife and pressed his face against hers. They simultaneously murmured apologies and held each other. The soup went cold in the kitchen below, no other food having been prepared. Claire had known they wouldn’t make it past the starter. She also knew that she was so adored by her husband that, no matter what passed between them, nothing would be different in the morning. After some time, Rick’s breathing deepened; he had finally succumbed to sleep. Careful not to wake him, Claire wriggled out from between his arms and tiptoed to her office. She sat down in her dark leather chair, pen in her hand, and began to write. Claire liked to play with her husband and fix her writer’s block. That was her secret.

Mary Blatchford

Creative Writing Secrets Held tongue, knowing glance, Sealed lips, no second chance. It knocks on the inside of my teeth, Demanding to be released. Pacing on my bitten tongue, Hands clasped, head hung.

The Last Words of Rozalia de Sousa

It hammers on my heaving chest, Suggesting it would be for the best If I cast off its heavy chains And appease its hunger pains. Its mood swings like a pendulum Between sweet words and sour tantrum. It offers excuse after excuse To justify letting it loose. Custodian of an unknown truth, Gardener of forbidden fruit. Your secret is still safe with me, Swaddled in trust and loyalty. Rahul Mehta

Silence

Mute. Compassion lacks where selfish hearts rule. It lurks in murky waters facing Narcissus’ face: image twinned. Tempered glass has no ripples; These depths can’t hold for long, Snakes whisper poison, Victims suspect, And soon. Your Secret’s Out. Daisy Stapley-Bunten

Upon seeing her body the careful book was prized from Rozalia de Sousa’s cartographic fingers and placed in an ominous box locked twice. The police department (who were almost always idiots) found on the last page of an otherwise menial diary a passage in a somewhat demented language so did with it the only thing they could and filed it away below ground. The secret alphabets of old de Sousa’s age held tight the mystery in a fragile paper prison, the key to which had been long thrown in some constabulary imbecile’s ocean. The newspapers printed a murder mystery; stamped in their crude ink that the killer hid inside those inscrutable letters the knowing symbols and ciphers scratching their chins who listened and heard the writerly victim’s last breath but louder and louder the stomach of the international community rumbled for truth and so I gave in / gave up my time to set to work on the page, flew in from the continent for as long as I needed and true to her lasting enigma the old eremite spoke freely to me.

A Room with a View My room looks out over the oasis. I lean out of the window to see the meeting place of a distant past and the people of Tibetsi. It is impossible to cut off the world from time and space. Being drunk in the oasis is a curious impulse. Louis Cammell

– I confirm these words / this whole page is hers lifted from hard translation. De Sousa knew her death / my future by God’s prophetic communication. Jay Stonestreet

Illustrations by Ana Dukakis

Television Feminism Marvel Style Peggy Carter is Back, Defeating Villains and the Patriarchy in Marvel’s Agent Carter Melissa Haggar What’s a girl to do when you’re a secret agent living in the 1940s and you’re seemingly not needed post-war anymore? Go it alone of course! Agent Carter (or Marvel’s Agent Carter) follows the ambitious and smart-talking Peggy Carter. Once known as Captain America’s right-hand girl, she has now been relegated to lunch-getter and phone-answerer. In this postwar society, Peggy’s role as seemingly the only female agent in the Strategic Scientific Reserve (SSR) has her at a bit of a loss. That is until Howard Stark recruits her to help clear his name, and Peggy is thrust back into the field as a double-agent, finally getting the chance to utilise her skills. After all, disguise, danger, and destruction seem to be this gal’s thing. While season one focused on this, and Peggy’s attempts to get back the deadly weapons that Stark had been accused of selling while also uncovering who was actually behind the sales. Season two starts off rather amicably in L.A.

Leaving the hustle and bustle of New York City behind, Peggy is called in to sunny Los Angeles to help solve the case of The Lady in the Lake – and predictably, atomic weapons seem to be involved (seriously, can they just stop making them? That would solve everything). One of the most appealing elements of Agent Carter is its focus on Peggy Carter as an independent working woman, highlighting her struggles of character and emotional attachments post-‘Cap’, as well as her ambitions as an agent not content to sit on the side-lines. Hayley Atwell captures Peggy brilliantly, and she has an infectious, and endless energy that can’t help but overwhelm you, breaking down any trepidations you may have had about the casting. Atwell has described her character’s superpower as being that of underestimation, and that she “often uses that to her advantage”, and this is interesting as it offers a view on women in the workplace in that era, and shows

how Peggy adapts and manipulates it. Agent Carter is a remarkable woman, who can kick, talk, and think her way out of any scrape, even when an assassin comes to kill her in her humble abode. Fluent in Morse code and filled with feisty back-sass, Peggy is the Marvel Agent we all deserve (and seriously handy in a brawl). Atwell is not alone in this venture, and the programme consistently pairs her up with her ‘sidekick’ in the form of Edwin Jarvis (James D’Arcy), the loveable butler of Howard Stark, who offers up light comic relief while also serving as an important ally in Carter’s fight for justice. An additional pleasantly surprising face in the series is that of Lyndsy Fonseca, who portrays Angie Martinelli, the fast-talking funky waitress who befriends Peggy. Fonseca’s character injects plenty of bubbly energy into the drama, and her sassy personality is scene-stealing in places. Marvel’s emphasis on female solidarity in Agent Carter is one

that is reflected in other recent shows like Jessica Jones, although it isn’t nearly as dark, and comes across more as a cross between Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and Bomb Girls. Back for another rambunctious season, Agent Carter makes the transition from east coast city living to L.A. life as she gains new friends, living accommodations, and flirty but suspicious new love interests (what about Sousa?!), all while trying to find out why people are freezing and exploding all over the place. No, I’m not kidding. But this is all in a day’s work for Carter, who quickly gets on the case. Overall the episode is invigorating, with the change of setting for Peggy, and allows a different pace and lifestyle to shine through, creating some much needed change. The season feels fresh but still manages to hold onto its charm, with delightful receptionist Rose (Lesley Boone) – who is reminiscent of Garcia from Criminal Minds – sprinkling her joy and gutsy mannerisms into the mix.

Illustration: Niamh Jones

Agent

Carter is a rare

g e m in the

extensive

Television What About the Midlands? Despite Being a Huge Area of the Country, the Midlands Are Often Forgotten – Especially in TV Katharine Lyon In early 2015, Channel 4 announced a new comedy set in my hometown. Titled Not Safe for Work, it followed a civil service worker named Katherine, who was relocated from London to Northampton to work on immigration policy. She was met with a bleak landscape of grey skies, concrete, and housing estates, populated by drug addicts and down-and-outs. Unsurprisingly, the show garnered mixed reactions back home, and the local paper was completely outraged. They concluded it was a smear campaign, intended to undo all the hard work of our non-existent tourist board. My main problem with the show, however, was that they didn’t even bother to take the piss out of the town properly. It felt as if the people behind the show had chosen the setting by closing their eyes and pointing at a map of the UK (and landing on Glasgow, the actual setting in which the show was filmed).

I’d like to make a case for TV shows set in the Midlands, but the reality is I don’t have a wide range of shows to back up my argument. While the South has never been short of TV shows such as Broadchurch, Cuffs, or Faulty Towers, with many of the most popular shows set in London, and the number set in the North is ever-growing, there’s a gaping hole in the middle of the country that is yet to be filled. I can only think of two TV shows set in Birmingham, the second biggest city in the UK, and one of them is the 1990s children’s show featuring the many adventures of a sentient car wittily named Brum. This is hardly surprisingly, seeing as only £80m of the £942m paid via the licence fee in the Midlands is reinvested in the region – less than it spends in London in just 12 days – according to Campaign for Regional Broadcasting Midlands. In a time where much of the country is seeing its arts

budget cut, whilst London’s seems mostly protected, this is perhaps more of a crucial point than ever.

such as Vicky McClure, many of whom are actors local to the region who found their big break through the show.

I’m not saying that there isn’t potential in the region – in fact I think there’s a huge amount of potential going to waste. This is exemplified by Shane Meadows’ This is England, which is by far one of my favourite shows of all time, and has been become a hugely popular cult TV show. It’s set in an ‘unspecified town in the Midlands’, and was mainly filmed in Nottingham, a city where Meadows has spent much of his life. Hard-hitting, with a balance of being at times funny and at other times incredibly moving, and fantastically written, it is truly a standout series, doing more in eleven episodes (and a film) than some shows do in dozens. It’s brutal and honest, with unforgettable characters played by outstanding actors,

There has been a wealth of great Midlands films over the past few decades. From the aforementioned This Is England, and Shane Meadows’ other successes including Once Upon A Time in The Midlands, to classics such as Saturday Night and Sunday Morning and Nativity! It seems a terrible shame that this continued success has not been able to transition from the big to the small screen. Perhapes these things take time. Maybe our renaissance is yet to come. I can hardly argue that the television of my home region is superior based on one show. However, I can argue that it’s a region that needs to be given a chance. I may be biased (in fact I totally am) but regardless, give the Midlands a chance.

Illustration: Ansells, Anon, Wikipedia Commons

Television In Memory Of Terry Wogan A Tribute to The Veteran Broadcaster Loved By Millions

Alice Spencer Last month, Sir Terry Wogan, longserving and legendary BBC Radio 2 and Children in Need presenter, had passed away at the age of 77. Yet another high-profile death due to cancer this year, Terry Wogan’s death was a sad loss for the millions of fans he accumulated over a career spanning five decades. The son of a grocery manager, young Terry Wogan first pursued a career in banking before giving it up to become a newsreader. After being turned down for a job at the BBC aged 27 on the grounds that they already had an Irish presenter, his first breakthrough with the BBC came when he provided holiday cover for another

broadcaster in 1969. It wasn’t long after that when he was given his own breakfast show, a slot he dutifully and charismatically entertained millions on for the next 27 years. Aside from all his other achievements, Terry Wogan will be remembered by me, and many others for his outstanding work on BBC Radio 2. Hailed the ‘King of the Airwaves’, it was his natural style that set him apart from so many others. In 2005, audience figures to Wake up to Wogan surpassed eight million; Radio 2 had become the biggest radio station in the country, the start of a new era of which Terry Wogan was the star. In presenter Graham Norton’s

words, “he made it seem effortless and for a young boy in Ireland, he made it seem possible.” TV, too, was just another means through which Terry Wogan’s star quality could shine. It was his witty asides on the Eurovision song contest that changed the image of the show; his dry humour made what would otherwise be a several hour cheese-fest watchable, a style continued by Graham Norton today. From his quiz show, Blankety Blank, to his famous interviews on Wogan, Sir Terry always handled himself with a professionalism and humour that made him so accessible to the masses. For many of our generation, however, Terry Wogan is inseparable from Children

in Need, an event he has hosted from its start 35 years ago, and has helped to raise a staggering £600 million pounds for. The most recent show last December was the first he had ever missed. Pudsey Bear has been reimaged in mourning since Terry Wogan’s sad passing in January, so inseparable is the man from the cause. A renowned family man, Sir Terry’s loved ones believe the veteran broadcaster would be embarrassed by all the attention his death was receiving. His legacy is one to be celebrated. From a Limerick-born boy to a broadcasting legend, Terry Wogan was a national treasure, and it is the happiness he brought that will define his memory in the end.

Ilustration: Alice Hitchens

Gaming & Technology Future Our Writers Give A Tour

2030- Self-Drawing Images Make Art Hands-Free

Jack Nicholson As a (wannabe) artist, one of the biggest problems I have when drawing or painting is translating the image to the page. I can picture an amazing Gogh-esque image in my head, but what comes out seems like I fell asleep whilst using Microsoft Paint. I’ve come up with an idea for a technology that could help my problem, and after research, it turns out it already exists. Well, nearly.

Since the 70s, scientists have been working on ‘brain-computer interfaces’ (known as BCIs.) These are basically ways to link your mind to a computer and use one to control the other. I don’t mean like The Matrix, I mean like playing Pong by simply thinking about which direction the paddle should move in. BCIs have been used to partly restore sight to blind people,

follow the vision of animals, or help those with movement impediments control mechanical limbs. These are all very just causes, but they are existing technologies. What I’m talking about, in the near future, is using mind-reading technologies to take the beautiful work of art I picture in my head, and translate it perfectly onto the

page. Creating a much better piece of art than I can ever hope to achieve otherwise. This would probably require what’s known as an ‘invasive’ BCI, something stuck in my brain to read the signals better. They get better results, although it’s a bit terrifying thinking of having a piece of technology in my head. Oh, the things we do for art…

2050 - Off-World Colonies Holidays In The Sun? Holidays On The Moon!

Sophie Robson Man has set foot on the moon many times now, and it’s only a matter of time before we hang up our coats there and move on to the other planets in our solar system and beyond, like some science fiction manifest destiny. If the world’s getting too crowded, we need to move. But establishing colonies on the moon and Europa (the sixth moon of Jupiter) in particular has another, really

important link to space exploration. At the moment, the distance of manned voyages is capped by the amount of oxygen a trip can carry, which would hinder any deep space exploration we wish to undertake. However, due to the discovery of water or ice on Europa and the moon, another opportunity presents itself. If we could take

this water and extract the oxygen from it, deep space voyages could use colonies on planets with water as pit-stops to radically expand the reach of trips. This aim would be plausible by setting up automated stations in these places, but there are reasons to set up residential colonies too. One is that taking humans from Earth

would ease the burden we are putting on its environment, another being that it’d be a step towards ensuring the preservation of humanity from whenever the sun gives up. The only thing stopping us from starting a colony now is the technology - the logistics and costs of getting a colony on the moon prove a huge problem for scientists. That’s why I’ve given us a few years to get there.

2040- The Singularity The Robot Uprising Is Closer Than You Think

Dan Ashfield Technology keeps getting more and more intelligent, and we’re going to reach a point where it becomes cleverer than us. This event is called the ‘Singularity’, the point where our artificial intelligence becomes free-thinking and stops needing us to exist! Of course it’s still a way off, as currently robots struggle to maintain basic motor skills, but with the rate new technology becomes increasingly powerful, it’s only a matter of time before robots rise up and destroy us all. The Singularity prophesises that robots will be able to self-replicate and independently increase their own intelligence. Seeing as how car factories, for example, are largely manned by robotic limbs and devices, the

self-replication of this robot hive mind seems highly plausible. The big problem with this robot singularity is that they’d be required to increase their own intelligence, to learn to adapt to new situations and problems. As humans, solving problems involves controlling and combining multiple factors the context, other experiences we’ve had in our past, our own interpretation or manipulation of the problem, and many other factors. For a robot to be able to find a solution to a problem, it would have to choose which of these factors was most important, which to ignore, and of course it would have to interpret these factors in its own way. Robot intelligence is programmed using computer algorithms, and any problems

that emerge are usually linked to repair, analysis, or duplication, functions that would be required of the robot. As such, whilst the robot uprising might be able to effectively repair our iPhones, it wouldn’t be good for much more than that yet. Having to deal with problems that haven’t been encountered before would take a lot more programming than we’ve even thought about giving artificial intelligence, so it’s still a way off. But despite this, some scientists think we can expect to be overthrown by our toasters sooner than that. Vernor Vinge, who popularised the term ‘Singularity’, looks for the event at or before 2030. Raymond Kurzweil, another futurist, thinks it will happen in the year 2045. For

the ‘Singularity Summit’ in 2012, (proving just how popular this theory or event is) a study conducted showed that most scientists in the field expect the event to happen in or around the year 2040. You’d better think twice before buying that robot butler when they are released in a few years time. So, scientists, we well aware of this potential event, and the technology is there although we don’t know how to programme it quite yet. These two facts highlight the dangers of modern technology- will we ever reach a point where we decide we need to stop, where we are content with what we have, or will we create a robot whose definition of ‘survival’ or ‘protection’ is to end humanity? I guess the future will tell. nasa.gov

Gaming & Technology Imperfect Of The Futures They Predict

2100- Flying Cars Roll Over, Wheels!

Shannon Smith When you think of the future, you think of flying cars. From Star Wars to Blade Runner, they are the symbol of technological wonder and futuristic societies. Engineers and scientists all over the world have been attempting to create properly levitating cars for sometime now, and it’s doubtless that they’ll be coming along soon. So why do I predict the year for flying cars to be

in commercial use to be so far from now? The reason for this is that while levitating cars will be flying along shortly, the need for them will not be here for a long time. Sure, it’ll be nice to fly above traffic jams and in straight lines to destinations, but right now that’s inefficient. Buildings are designed with access only on the bottom floor, laws are only in place for ground traffic. Until cities

are built up enough and populations high enough to require multiple layers of traffic and entrances on many levels of buildings, flying cars just aren’t realistic. In classic sci-fi book covers where they picture flying cars dominating city skylines, these cities look like they hold three or four times the population of a city nowadays.

Another thing to consider is that in these futuristic images, the cars are usually flying towards the viewer, disregarding traffic like a player in Grand Theft Auto. This total lack of traffic control in the future could lead to a nightmare scenario where all resemblence of careful driving is abandoned for a free for all. If motoring is dangerous now, I’d hate to see it in the future.

2070- Zero-Size Gadgets The Smaller, The Better

Chris Tomlin It’s common knowledge that when it comes to technology, smaller is better. Smaller computers, smaller laptops, everything is always shrinking. Is there ever going to be a time when this shrinking stops, or in the future will I not be able to see my own phone? Gordon Moore, one of the co-founders of Intel and a technological genius, made the famous prediction in

1965 that every two years, the number of components on a circuit of the same size would double- and, therefore, a circuit with the same number of components would be half the size. Basically, every two years circuits become half their previous size. This is why our technology can keep getting smaller without it getting worse.

This has led to the idea of ‘zero-size intelligence’, circuits that are so small that they have a negligible size. Circuits of this size could have any number of uses - they could be used in medicine to monitor the body’s internal factors, they could be used in surveillance without being noticed, or they could be used to give a device almost infinite circuitry and processing power. Of

course it will take some time to get to this stage - circuits still take up space, and we’d need to devise a way to make sure the tech wasn’t being used in some insidious way. Although, we may seem a long way from it now in the future, don’t expect to see your computer separate to the monitor screen, or games consoles as individual items. They will be just one small part of a whole.

2150- Teleporters The Downfall Of The Motor Industry

Evie Stone If there’s one thing that everyone wants, it’s the ability to teleport. Running late to school? Just teleport there. Forget something at the shops? Hop in the teleporter. Flights for holiday too much? Who still flies anyway? Hop in your teleporter and you’re there in an instant. The one thing that stops this being a reality, is that it’s a completely fictional idea with no grounds in reality or common sense. But, as many historians will note, that’s what we think about everything before we make it. So I think that we’ll soon (or in the next few hundred years) have teleportation as a very real option. It maybe surprising to to hear, but teleportation actually exists today. I know

what you’re thinking, that this is going to be something small and barely significant like when they discovered life on Mars. You are absolutely correct. In the early 1990s, a team in New York discovered something called ‘quantum entanglement’, a branch of quantum physics that’s even more confusing than quantum science in general. To simplify it incredibly, the team managed to connect two particles over a distance, and send information between the two. The information managed to go from one particle to the other without actually traversing the space in between them. I’d go into detail about how this works, but let’s face it, I don’t completely understand it myself. Frankly no-one really understands

it without years and years studying in the field, and even then their theories can be construed as quess-work. The significance is that it proves it is possible to send information over distance. Of course this experiment was only with a single particle - of which the human body has quite a few, so it doesn’t mean teleporting whole human bodies is on the cards quite yet. But it does mean that the science is there, when we work out a way to utilise it. There are several pitfalls, though. A teleportation device would have to transfer the information from all of your atoms to atoms elsewhere. This would mean completely destroying the human body to build it back up somewhere else. The amount of energy this would take is

incredible. It also means the state of every single atom in the body would have to be known already- the whole body would have to be mapped out. Therefore, any changes or imperfections could ruin the whole process. You could teleport to holiday, get a papercut and on your return journey get blasted into nothing. As I said, the technology and science is there, we just have several major issues to circumnavigate before you can teleport from your gaming den to the toilet with having to stand up. So in the next few hundred years, hopefully quantum physics (and real physics) will have developed enough for teleportation to be a very real possibility. Ilustration: Alice Eugéne Hénard Wikipedia Commons

Film Deadpool GREAT JOB FOR READING THIS FAR!

AWW YOU PUT MY REVIEW IN VENUE... NO ONE’S GOING TO READ IT!

REWARD THEM WITH YOUR BUTT!

Dan Struthers Very rarely can you say that one actor was born to play a certain role, a cliché often thrown around meaninglessly, but it is no exaggeration that Ryan Reynolds was born to play Deadpool aka Wade Wilson (or the Merc with a Mouth). Not since Hugh Jackman scowled his way through X-Men as the Adamantium-clawed Wolverine or since Robert Downey Jr donned his Iron Man getup in 2008 has a comic book character been synonymous with a single actor. It’s a real testament to the character to note that every scene without Reynolds as Deadpool feels like unnecessary exposition, but luckily there are very few of these in the movie. Reynolds not only admitted to ad-libbing some of his lines on set, but also campaigned for the film to be made for over ten years. Unfortunately for long time Deadpool fans, the wish to bring the character to life on film was granted in X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Complete with no red suit, no mouth to make his trademark quips and fourth wall breaks, and no genuine reason for being in the movie, it’ s fair to say many were angered at this 2009 film’s portrayal of a fan favourite. 2016’s Deadpool came around almost by accident after some test footage shot on a small budget was leaked (very conveniently) in 2014, which was greeted by such a positive fan outcry that Fox would have been stupid to not make a much needed film. This year alone we will witness five juggernaut comic book movies: Suicide Squad, Batman vs. Superman, Doctor Strange, Captain America: Civil War, and X-Men: Apocalypse. But among the age of Marvel and DC’ s raging battle have we finally reached comic book movie fatigue? No matter how cynical your answer to that question, there is no denying that Deadpool is a breath of fresh air in the superhero genre. While it is true that without the excessive violence, crude language, and fourth wall breaks Deadpool would be another standard

Marvel movie, all of the above put it up among the stellar other Marvel cinematic universe movies like Guardians of the Galaxy and Iron Man. Yes, it’s true that Deadpool uses many of the standard comic book stock characters and formulaic plotlines, largely because it takes place in the same Marvel universe as many other films before it – but that doesn’t mean it can’t have a bit of fun whilst doing it. The glorious opening titles do just this by noting the obvious stereotypes, such as the ‘ British villain’, while also poking fun at the director, labelled ‘an overpaid tool’ and bigging up the writers, ‘the real heroes here’. It’s little Meta tongue-incheek touches like this, as well as the ever inventive and hilarious advertising, which should really allow the publicity team behind Deadpool to walk away with an Oscar alone. In regards to the plot of the film: don’t expect too much from a film which was given a measly $58 million from the studio which, to put it into context, is less than half the budget of X-Men Origins: Wolverine (though it still manages to be ten times more entertaining)! The plot may be fairly predictable but it isn’t the

main focus of the movie, and director Tim Miller openly acknowledges this as Deadpool points out that due to the lack of funding from the studio we only get to see two other X-Men in the movie. As a result the film feels fairly low budget compared to other X-Men movies, but the action sequences are still executed superbly. The film may have been branded a Valentine’s Day movie but is certainly not your typical boy meets girl love story. It’ s more like Boy meets Girl in a bar and hires her as a prostitute. Boy and Girl fall in love. Boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. Boy leaves Girl and becomes a kick ass mutated bad ass. Girl sees Boy again and falls in love despite his terrible skin condition. Again, not your typical Valentine’s Day film, but one that does emphasise looking past people’s outward features and how love will always prevail, even against a British villain who asks “What’ s my name?” more times than Rihanna.

when interacting with T.J. Miller’s Weasel, from discussing what his disfigured face looks like (an avocado in short), or brainstorming his superhero name only to come up with Captain Deadpool. Some of the jokes fall a bit flat, but for every one of these there is equally a gem which has the audience in stitches even if you can see it coming a mile away, as is the case with a particular scene in which Colossus gives a monologue about sparing a life instead of killing, which ends with Deadpool doing something rather predictable...

+Extremely Meta

Yes

+Ryan

Reynolds finds his perfect role

-Formulaic in parts

Action packed, witty and at times a tongue in cheek breakdown of all comic book movies with a truly enjoyable anti-hero

At some times the film feels like a stand-up routine from Reynolds, but he’ s at his strongest Illustrator: Kirsty McAlpine

Film Goosebumps Lucinda Swain Jack Black stars in this hilarious reimagining of R.L. Stine’s hugely popular children’s horror stories. The movie opens with Zach Cooper (Dylan Minnette) moving from the city to a small town where he soon meets his new next door neighbour Hannah (Odeya Rush), only to discover that her mysterious father, Mr Shivers (Jack Black) is the world-renowned R.L. Stine in hiding. When Zach misinterprets Stine’s strange behaviour, and believes Hannah is in danger, he attempts to come to her rescue, ultimately unleashing all of Stine’s creations, which had been trapped in their locked manuscripts. Attempting to fix his mistake, Zach, Stine, Hannah, and Champ (a new, often cowardly school friend) must embark on a whirlwind adventure

to recapture the now real, nightmarish creatures from Stine’s imagination. From villains to the killer lawn gnomes, Wolf-man to the abominable snowman, this movie offers a heavy helping of nostalgia and also tempts new fans. With huge production budgets, and a superb soundtrack featuring original music by Danny Elfman, it looks as if Goosebumps is a great success. Receiving generally positive reviews from critics and grossing over $146 million on a $58 million budget, it really goes to show there is a huge market for reimagining children’s horror stories. Jack Black spoke of how he tried to make Stine’s character “more of a sort of curmudgeonly dark, brooding beast master”. He also stated that he approached

Goosebumps in the same way he does his other work, trying to “make it as funny as possible”. Certainly, Black’s comedic timing and acting is top notch. The movie has also been praised for its positive portrayals of parenthood and the importance of teamwork. Goosebumps has little sexual content and profanities, proving that great movies don’t need to rely on crudity. All in all, if you want to see the triumphant return of the malevolent ventriloquist’s dummy, Slappy from Night Of The Living Dummy (voiced by Black), countless other monsters from your childhood nightmares, then you should definitely give Goosebumps a chance; it offers both scares and humour galore.

Yes

+Funny +Nostalgic +Zany

Night of the Living Dummy, Revenge of the Lawn Gnomes and The Abominable Snowman of Pasadena make this film worth watching.

Illustrator: Lucinda Swain

George Barker Opening with ‘The year is 1944. On the brink of defeat, our Nation….’ the trailer for Dad’s Army filled many fans with the same optimism of Pte Fraser. ‘We’re all doomed’’. For once, Pte Fraser was right. Set in 1944, the Allies are preparing for D-Day, meanwhile a Nazi spy arrives in Walmington on-sea, intent on surveying a Dover military base, the protection of which has been assigned to the Home Guard. On the face of it ‘Dad’s Army’ has an all-star cast, with Toby Jones as Cpt Mainwaring and Bill Nighy as Sgt Wilson, Catherine Zeta-Jones as a visiting reporter, and as Blake Harrison, of Inbetweeners fame, as Pte Pike. The cast of characters expands on the television program as the wives and girlfriends are given proper supporting roles, even giving a face to the previously mysterious Mrs Mainwaring. It’s nice to see characters like Godfrey’s sisters and Pte Jones’ ‘friend’ Mrs Fox return and receive proper

Dad's Army roles. The platoon’s cast are decent enough but when compared to the characters they are trying to emulate, they’re nothing but an ersatz imitation. Though Michael Gambon deserves special mention as his performance is Pte Godfrey is near perfect. The film itself though is a hollow façade, lacking so much of what made Dad’s Army brilliant. For all the little details and references such as Jones’ Butchers Van/ Platoon Troop carrier with its gun ports and Godfrey wearing a flowery lei to camouflage practice, so much of its essence is missing. The fate of the war hangs on the platoon; if the spy discovers the plans for an assault on Calais are a ruse the Allies are scuppered. But this isn’t what Dad’s Army was about, it was the fate of the church hall, of Godfrey’s cottage, of the town parade, and Stone’s Amusement Arcade that they bore on their shoulders and not that of actually winning the war. Dad’s Army poked fun at the

paranoia and xenophobia of war time and of the shortages and rationing that all resulted in Platoon’s various mishaps and adventures. Aside from a brief moment of camouflage practice, the film is devoid of parachutists disguised as nuns and trying to stops tanks with dinner plates. Dad’s Army might not be so bad if it was removed from its context, but even then it’s a mediocre watch. There really is no way to recommend Dad’s Army, especially when the TV show is so brilliant and every episode of it costs about the same as two cinema tickets. If you’ve never seen Dad’s Army before, do yourself a favour and watch the original series’. You could even just watch the excellent original Dad’s Army film that was released in 1971 that features the original cast and adapts the show perfectly. Ultimately this addition to the franchise fails to introduce Dad’s Army and will bitterly disappoint old fans.

-Hollow -Mediocre +Michael

Gambon's performance

Dad's Army completely misses out on what made the show so great.

Film Zoolander 2

Alice Tougher Zoolander 2 marks the long-awaited sequel to Ben Stiller’s cult classic, Zoolander from 15 years ago. The plot picks up with where the belovedcharacters are now, with Derek Zoolander having gone into hiding following a family tragedy, and *he’s so hot right now* Hansel living in a commune in the desert with Keifer Sutherland and Jordan Dunn. The two male models are called back into the fashion world to solve the mystery of the assassination of the world’s most beautiful people. The sequel sees the return of characters such as Will Ferrel’s Mugatu, as well as new faces, including Penelope Cruz as Valentina and Kristen Wiig as Alexanya Atoz, along with more cameos than you can imagine: Justin Bieber, Anna Wintour, and MC Hammer, to name but a few. Wiig’s character is definitely

Melissa Haggar

one of the best in the film, and it’s a shame you don’t see more of her, given the combination of the facial prosthetics and the ridiculous accent that make for some of the film’s best moments. Zoolander 2 has kept its signature humour, with Derek’s simplistic logic. However some of the jokes feel slightly clunky; it almost seems like Stiller and his co-writer Justin Theroux have tried to squash as much humour as possible into the script, but unfortunately at times this doesn’t quite achieve its full potential. It has to be said that the numerous celebrity cameos almost take away the satirical edge of Zoolander’s original charm; by inviting the ‘cool’ people into the joke, it very nearly kills it. Although the original featured many

celebrities, arguably the only moment that was integral to the plot was David Bowie’s epic walk-off scene, which, in all fairness, was always going to be almost impossible to top. Inspite of all this, the film is an honourable follow up to the well-loved original, and presents us with some memorable scenes, Mugatu’s escape from prison being particularly fantastic. Zoolander 2 harks back to many of its jokes from the first movie, and it is this lovable charm that saves it. The cult classic that had bombed in the box office originally deserved revisiting, and Stiller’s efforts are to be commended. Whilst there is no need to make it into a trilogy, it is definitely nice to see some of our favourite faces back on the screen once more.

+Old Jokes

Yes

Taking a bite out of Austen’s original plot, the film centres on the Bennet sisters who are caught in an undead epidemic in Regency era England, where a plague has turned local

aristocrats into carnivorous cretins. Trying to maintain the line of defence against this disease is legendary slayer Mr. Darcy (Sam Riley), who visits stately homes and executes anyone who shows symptoms, by using his trusty flies. In this alternate universe, the sword-wielding Bennet sisters, headed up by Elizabeth (Lily James), are trained martial artists who are adept in all manners of combat. Charles Dance and Lena Headey also star as Mr. Bennet and Lady Catherine de Bourgh, respectively. After being whisked off her feet in Cinderella, Lily James is firmly grounded as ‘Lizzie’, the feistiest of all the sisters, who prides herself on her warrior abilities. James is the bad-ass, knife slashing, zombie-kicking heroine you didn’t even know you needed in your life, until now. Commanding attention on screen, but still

able to roll with the cheeky humour, James is effortless in her performance alongside Riley. Reassuringly not ashamed of its premise, the film benefits from its self-knowingness, with subtle in jokes to Austen’s novel, as well as killer dialogue. Comedy is at the essence of the piece, and Matt Smith as Parson Collins is undeniably entertaining. Truly immersing himself in this role – and clearly loving every minute of it – he takes absolute pleasure in every overrated and exaggerated gesture and enunciation, garnering plenty of laughs. Ultimately, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is such a kooky mash-up of B-movie horror and classic literature that, once you get past the premise, you can’t help but love it, even if it does leave you with an unquenchable thirst for more eye-patched Lena Headey.

Wiig's face

-Lack of Satire

Cinema's two favourite lovable idiots are back on the big screen, but it fails to live uop to the first film.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

If there’s something strange, in your country estate, who you gonna call? Zombie slayers. Seth Grahame-Smith’s parody novel of the legendary Austen classic is a mashup of romance, comedy, and of course, the undead brain-eaters. If it seems an utterly ridiculous choice of novel to give the big screen treatment that’s because it is. To say otherwise would be to entirely fool yourself. The rather selfexplanatory nature of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is one of its best features; you know you are going to get some pride, a dash of prejudice, and a militia of zombies, and that’s all you can really ask for.

+Kristen

+Bloody

Yes

good

+Interesting mash-up

-Needs more

Headey Dying for something different? Pride and Prejudice and Zombies has the cure.

Illustrator: Dougie Dodds

Film Moody Marvel A Look at Marvel Studios’ New Direction Charles Levenson The recent release of Deadpool has taken Hollywood by storm; not just because it’s set to rake in $153 million at the US box-office in its opening weekend, and not just because it’s a film that was shelved for 11-years that proved all the Hollywood producers wrong, but because of its recent feats in cinematic history. Deadpool now claims the highest ever box office opening for an R-Rated movie in US history (15-rated UK equivalent), and astonishingly is already the highest grossing R-Rated comic-book movie within days of its release. The issue of R-Rated and ‘darker’ comic book movies is a very complex one – especially for Marvel. This is largely due to the screen rights of Marvel’s characters being scattered across Hollywood. For instance, SpiderMan is co-owned by Sony; Deadpool, X-Men, and Fantastic Four are owned by Fox Studios, and everyone else comes under Disney’s acquirement of Marvel Studios. The complexity arises in that, say for example Marvel Studios – the major player in Marvel comic-book films – wants to make more edgy comic-book films. They then have to

either commit to more edgy films while other studios (like Sony) go for lighter films, and thus confuse/alienate some casual audience members (the backbone of their box-office income), or alternatively wait until the other studios take a more edgy approach and then they follow suit – running the risk of producing copy-cat knock-offs. Hopefully all this talk about which studio owns which Marvel character, and how Marvel comicbook characters cannot be fully cinematically owned by Marvel Studios hasn’t confused you too much. If so don’t worry, I’m done with the complexities now. Moving swiftly on, let’s turn back the clock: in 1998 an R-Rated Marvel Studios film was released – it was violent beyond belief, incredibly dark and unrelentingly aimed at adults, that film was Blade, based off the character of the same name. The film went on to do relatively well at the box-office ($70 million in the US and spawning a successful trilogy), however it is almost entirely ignored in the modern-era of comic-book movie discussions. It showed how there was a time - before all this Avengers over-saturation and

whitewashing – where Marvel Studios went for a much darker cinematic feel. Albeit, the writers and director almost entirely distanced themselves from the source material of Blade, making Blade more their own character than Marvel’s. This however is not the case with Deadpool. This time around the writers and director have made the film very much true to the style, tone, and origins laid down in Deadpool’s source material. Thus, with its incredible success, this surely just points to darker, edgier Marvel characters being adapted for the silver screen. Leading on from this, casual audiences were stunned last year with the production and release of both Daredevil and Jessica Jones, two television series by none other than the notoriously adult-aimed company Netflix. Granted, it was co-produced by Marvel Studios, but Netflix played a huge role in pioneering real gritty and grounded views of Marvel characters. Both were a huge success, commissioning multiple spin-offs and forthcoming seasons – a huge message to the overlords of Marvel Studios, that message being: make more gritty movies for Christ’s

sake (ok maybe not that dramatic). Both of those characters are just bullets in the chamber for Marvel Studios, as they weren’t originally planned to be adapted for the silver-screen, but their success surely will start to change their minds, with potential to be added to the Avengers roster. To conclude, if you’re still pondering as to whether Marvel Studios will ride off the back of the success of Fox’s daring, risk-taking R-Rated comic-book movie (Deadpool) then wonder no more. Deadpool is decimating R-Rated records left, right and centre, garnering not only a gigantic fan-base, but sequel talks too – there’s one thing that ultimately matters in the cinematic industry and that is money. Money. Money. Money. If it will make money, then you can almost guarantee that Hollywood producers will send it to the big-screen. So far Deadpool has made a lot of money, so you can bet your house on it that Marvel Studios will be desperately clambering to now produce more edgy films (watch out for the ‘phase three’ film Black Panther to see whether it will prove my point).

Have You Tried Turning it Off and On Again? What Makes a Successful Reboot? Benjamin Pinsent There have been many articles on how modern Hollywood is creatively bankrupt; with constant adaptations, remakes, and rebooting dead franchises, it can certainly seem that way. However two points are generally ignored, the first is that this isn’t new and the second is that adaptation is a hard process, usually because the adaptation is done across mediums. These art forms are inherently different; books are writing, plays are staged, and video games are interactive, however there are two which on the surface are very similar, film and television. TV and film are often talked about in terms of rivals and adversaries. The television reduced the number of film audiences dramatically back in the 1950s when it was first widely available, and now with “the golden age of television” TV is being taken more seriously and talent has moved

from the big screen to the smaller one. That is not to say that this movement is one way, film and TV have been trading ideas and properties for a while now to varying degrees of success. But if film and TV are so similar then why is it so difficult for certain stories to travel in certain directions? There is perhaps one big difference that separates film and TV and that is structure. A film is generally a single entity that lasts from 90 to 120 minutes and must tell its entire story in that time with a three act structure and a satisfying conclusion. A television series can range from anywhere from 3 to 24 episodes that can last 30 minutes to an hour and a half, allowing a longer time to tell two types of story; either episodically (monster/case of the week style shows like House, Criminal Minds or Scooby Doo) or one overarching narrative (like Fargo or Daredevil). There are of course

opportunities for sequels and second series to extend stories, but the differences in structure still apply. Comedy is generally a genre that does not travel well from the small to the big screen. Mrs Browns Boy’s Da Movie, The Harry Hill Movie and Keith Lemon: The Film are movies based on, I am told, great TV comedy. However the films were critically and commercially panned, mainly because the structure of the show or character would not stretch from half an hour to full length feature. Scooby Doo is another example of a good TV concept not working as a feature. The structure of the average Scooby Doo episode consists of the gang investigating a mystery, looking for clues only to pull back the mask on an elderly gentleman scaring away tourists for treasure or land or something. While proven to work over half an hour, the film versions feel overly

padded, and the charming characters tend to grate after the half hour mark. That is not to say all comedy doesn’t travel, M.A.S.H for example is a classic subversive war comedy and a fantastic sitcom. If only the same could be said for the recently released Dad’s Army film. What seems to be key to success when adapting film to TV and vice versa, is to use prequels, sequels or parallel stories; in Fargo, for example, the TV show and film share common elements, with reference to the criminal organisation in Fargo, the money buried by Steve Buschemi and both having plucky female cops, but ultimately they are different entities. If you are reading this and are thinking about adapting a film to TV or TV show to film, my advice is think very carefully about the structure of your story.