Event - Issue 241

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EDITOR-IN-CHIEF>HANNAH LIVINGSTON| concrete.editor@uea.ac.uk THE EVENT EDITOR>GRACE SIMPSON| concrete.event@uea.ac.uk

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DEPUTY EVENT EDITOR>DUNCAN VICAT-BROWN concrete.fashion@uea.ac.uk|FASHION EDITOR>KAT JONES FASHION WRITERS>KAT JONES, GRACE SIMPSON

concrete.arts@uea.ac.uk|ARTS EDITORS>FIONA HOWARD & KIRSTEN PETER

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CREATIVE WRITERS>SIMON COX, CARL SILVERSTONE, ASHRAF ZIDAN

concrete.tvdigital@uea.ac.uk|TELEVISION EDITOR>JOSH BUTLER TELEVISION WRITERS>MICHA BUTLER, ELLA FAIRHURST, REBECCA HARRINGTON, LINDSAY HARRIS, NATALIE STEPHENSON, DUNCAN VICAT-BROWN, CAROLINE WALKER

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concrete.film@uea.ac.uk|FILM EDITORS>ELIZABETH POOLE & ADAM SCALES FILM WRITERS>MICHAEL BLUNT, GEMMA BOYLE, PAUL COOK, RACHEL COXON, SARAH HEMSTED, JOSEPHINE LISTER, MICHAEL LOVELOCK, STEPH MCKENNA, LUKE NASH, DUNCAN VICAT-BROWN, BERT WARDLOW, CATHERINE WATTS

concrete.music@uea.ac.uk|MUSIC EDITORS>PAUL COOK & STEPH MCKENNA MUSIC WRITERS>MICHAEL BOND, MICHAEL BLUNT, KIERAN CORDERY, HAZY HALE, KATE HINKSMAN, JACK LOUGHRAN, TOM MCINNESCHRISTOPHER MILLS, HELEN THOMAS, ALEX THROSSELL, DUNCAN VICAT-BROWN

concrete.event@uea.ac.uk|CANVAS EDITOR>HAZEL COMPTON concrete.listings@uea.ac.uk|VENUE EDITOR>HELEN THOMAS

concrete.competitions@uea.ac.uk|COMPETITIONS EDITOR>WILL DONOVAN

Last issue we forgot to thank LOOSES for their help with the fashion pages...so thank you!

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concrete.wired@uea.ac.uk|WIRED EDITOR>WILLIAM MORAN WIRED WRITERS>LOCHLAINN COYNE, KATHRYN HEUSTON, VAUGHN HIGHFIELD, RICHARD JOSLIN, WILLIAM MORAN, GRACE SIMPSON

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ARTS WRITERS>GREG MANN, CARMINA MASOLINER-MARLOW, KIRSTEN PETER, LAURA RIGGS, SUZE WOOD

concrete.creativewriting@uea.ac.uk|CREATIVE WRITING EDITOR>STEPHANIE CROSS

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fashion

09mar10 issue241

FASHION>THE NEW TESTAMENT

concrete.fashion@uea.ac.uk

Tom: Red skinny jeans>£24.99, Military mini jacket>£44.99, Polo t-shirt>£19.99, Sunglasses>£4.99 Caroline: Black cardigan>£24.99, Hawaii’s 50 Dress>£39.99, Wet look leggings>£9.99

THE ROCK COLLECTION 14-16 Lower Goat Lane, Norwich Lanes, Norwich NR2 1EL 01603 625 055

skinny jeans this season, The Rock

stripes and anchors, or embroidered roses. The brand Hell Bunny adds

both men and women. There are

quirky dresses. Check out the 50’s

Stepping into this shop is like stepping into a new world. There is a huge including The Rolling Stones, Queen and Led Zeppelin. Emblazoned recently incorporated the shop Black dread pins and coloured contacts.

So step in, look around, embrace not a person who dresses head-to-toe in black leather and spiked jewellery, don’t be so quick to dismiss this shop.

look.

For women, there is a huge

Situated opposite Delaney’s pub, St Andrew’s church is simply

trousers embellished with chains,

and ribboned corsets, or snap up

GUCCI GOTHIC>>>

are

criss-crossed

We saw it with the Autumn 2008

with

startling

mens’ suits. Drain pipe trousers stream the leg to gather at the and boots. The man bag is the staple item seen throughout

here in the Gucci Spring/Summer so apparent last year. image.

fashion

09mar10 issue241

concrete.fashion@uea.ac.uk

5

Casper Palmano

KAOS FASHION SHOW 2010

Greg Mann

Christopher Butchart

Greg Mann Greg Mann

Christopher Butchart

Greg Mann

Casper Palmano

6

arts

09mar10 issue241

ART>NEED TO KNOW>GRAFFITI

concrete.arts@uea.ac.uk

Greg Mann

soon be gone.

BANKSY AND THE APPRECIATION POLITICAL GRAFFITI AROUND THE OF GRAFFITI WORLD I

goes beyond these boundaries and becomes a

At South Bank, by the River Thames in London,

mural. to the government, believing to have facilitated

In recent years, Bristol’s Banksy has become community and human rights, not claiming isn’t all about famous names though, and there

can be found throughout Tehran, but he also

enough to have money to go abroad, seek out

Carmina Masoliver-Marlow

Kirsten Peter

arts

09mar10 issue241

concrete.arts@uea.ac.uk

7

THEATRE>NAME TO DROP> THEATRE>PREVIEW> CHAPTERHOUSE THEATRE COMPANY HAMLET This year Chapterhouse Theatre Company enters its 11th season of touring open-air Shakespeare’s Hamlet, one of Shakespeare’s most

MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING of Beauty and the Beast.

Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, Night The Taming of The Shrew, together The Mystery Plays Wonderland

Alice’s Adventures in

PRIDE AND PREJUDICE

Suze Wood

open-air; ART,

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST Beauty and the Beast

Richard Main, Chapterhouse producer, would and everyone in the Drama department for

A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM Laura Riggs

creative writing

09mar10 issue241

concrete.creativewriting@uea.ac.uk

9

comedy.

Run, student, run.

You’d never know that the average student puts on of a sizeable amount of weight by

The Blue Horn Beaked Fish Warbler

they seem to do. And all those varied types of

swarm,

Moving without bending either knees or elbows. mayonnaise.

Although when a tree falls on it, and no-one is around, Simon Cox

athletes, who somehow gravitate towards the window, bust

UEA and Norwich

gives them away.

you’re a student, never stop running. where there is somebody to thank. and asked for a used laptop. and had a drink at Zest. for an hour, but in vain.

Ashraf Zidan

Carl Silverstone

10 THIS IS THE NEWS 09mar10 issue241

television

concrete.tvdigital@uea.ac.uk

Television never fails to excite reaction and discussion, this week The Event’s writers express some of their more controversial views about what’s been on the box of late...

FIVE DAYS>RUNNING LIKE CLOCKWORK

the search for the infant.

ADULT SWIM Who says cartoons are for kids? On American

Five Days proves as entertaining

there are bouts of verbal frenzy as the anxiety

the Adult Swim channel raises its ugly, sweary, violent head. It’s depraved, it’s twisted, it’s

comes screeching to an agonising halt, leaving the passengers dwelling on their unfortunate

hands despite protests of, “where do you think you’re going?” The hammering on the driver’s door causes further alarm (as if his stress levels weren’t high enough already) but luckily there

are some of the best shows:

recalls the terrible moment he saw a body on the tracks to PC Franklin.

Five Days is a clever intertwining of the

successful Star Wars parodies. It’s basically a lightning fast, pop-culture based sketch reel, with all sketches animated in charmingly

intensity that will leave you gripped - at least for the rest of the week.

Ella Fairhurst

few seconds.

Although fairly hit and more than enough classic as the Gummy Bear Trap, and Mr T and ’s.

Happily this also leads to light-hearted moments of banter, such as the police-woman’s mother constantly complaining, Clerks-style, Updates on the baby also provide some much have to be confronted by the protagonist. It is the performance of David Morrissey, who leads

HEROES>HOW TO SAVE A SCI-FI Heroes has used up a lot of story lines: the past, the future, family reunions, family unity, families at war, and the simultaneous loss of

place where powers are natural and the norm, and much more advanced than our heroes already have. As the natural world has not featured highly so far, super-powers could be so commonplace that animals have them too. Our

ROBOT CHICKEN You may well have heard of this one, thanks to

miss, there are sketches, such Mortal Kombat the Foo Fighters

TIM AND ERIC AWESOME SHOW, GREAT JOB! Let’s get one thing straight: either you’ll love this more than breathing, or you’ll have literally no idea what’s going on.

have humans that phase into animals, but that might be a bit too Twilight/True Blood.

Swim, Awesome Show is made up of sketches,

Perhaps it’s not ‘Earth’ that they should be on. dimension perhaps?

dimension would be available to the heroes.

dubious health advice, inappropriate children’s dance workouts, and Tim sporadically turning

world to be explained and explored, the heroes’ circumstances would be fresh and new, and they would have new friends to make, and new enemies, too.

The show normally works best if they’re outnumbered - freaks and underdogs - so they work as a team. The new dimension could be a

tectonic plates opening a portal could be acceptable. This new chapter could add some new faces and new life to the show. We might even lose some dull characters who want to ‘stay in the alternate dimension’.

Natalie Stephenson

FRIENDS>I’LL BE THERE FOR YOU? Friends has been - without a doubt - one of the most dominant family TV shows of the last two decades, which explains why the announcement of its disappearance from our screens was met with a near-riotous response earlier this week. of every other popular TV show, with many being deemed as the ‘new Friends’: How I Met Your Mother, Will & Grace, among others. Yet one cannot help but compare these shows to Friends, and come to the conclusion that they lack the sparkle and popularity that it had at its peak. been spoilt by its repeated airing on the

six characters, who had become like family members. Many watch the repeats, even if they

be popularly screened. However, since Channel

to free up space for new shows, we’re sure we won’t be the only ones to think of this as the end of an era.

So, while daily catch-ups with Friends can be

those six familiar faces will make a return to our screens... Friends: The Movie anyone?

Rebecca Harrington

the world’s most amusing face.

AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE Following the adventures of a Machiavellian chip box, a sociopathic drink cup and a… meatwad, Aqua Teen Hunger Force is Adult Swim’s second most widely known show.

Although a great ensemble piece, this show’s secret weapon is neighbour Carl - the episode in which he is repeatedly raped by a dog cloned from a banana is hysterical.

SUPERJAIL! Seemingly the brainchild of a crazed bulldog straining on a leash which has been fed nothing but hallucinogenics for several days, Superjail! is a sensory overload. Each episode follows The Warden - a cross between Willy Wonka

madcap humour, psychedelic imagery and… each episode ends with a surreal blood-bath that makes South Park look like Disney.

Duncan Vicat Brown

television

11

09mar10 issue241

concrete.tvdigital@uea.ac.uk

PRIMETIME>MARRIED SINGLE OTHER

DOWNLOAD>CALIFORNICATION of

lives. that they care for each other. Their various

women’s refuge, where we see the apparently

be something to keep your eye out for. as Dexter moving for it.

Weeds, but it is Entourage. The

the characters get up to in both shows. It has Entourage romance. Not to say that the swearing, sarcasm is the the obligatory post-Boosh Television, we recognise this as a rare nugget

is lost for him. The character might not last as long, especially if he is to get his comeuppances

no means least is Micha Butler

Natalie Stephenson

REALITY>WHY DID YOU KILL MY DAD? forgiven for thinking

Following the fatal stabbing of his father by remains to be seen, but it is certainly thought-

Lindsay Harris

FINALE>BEING HUMAN

there is only so far one can go with that premise. Vampire boy meets human girl has

Unless you’ve been living in a cave for the massive upsurge in the number of vampire/ supernatural series taking over our screens.

minor problem of them being non-corporeal. are everywhere. Now throw in the typical

with his hugely successful series Angel. Then along that is Twilight more or less cult following to mainstream success. Now there’s no shortage of vampireTrue Blood, The Vampire

Being

Human

Being Human are all regulars

However this is a supernatural series that, for sheer entertainment value alone, is probably

It must certainly now be near impossible

Caroline Walker

Diaries

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wired

09mar10 issue241

concrete.wired@uea.ac.uk

<G AMING><REVIEWS> A V .P LIENS

S

wired

concrete.wired@uea.ac.uk

You lurk in the shadows, watching your prey whilst they are blissfully unaware of your presence in the room. You move from wall to wall, scrambling from surface to surface to stalk

for the Aliens and Predator may be, they do recreate the experience faithfully.

Overall this game is an excellent update of a franchise; its omission of iron sights and crouching along with a dipped frame rate do

you are directly above them. Then you pounce, grab them from behind and turn them round so they can see what you are, a look of pure

Shooter, which for this game is ideal.

UTS

UBLIC

I I AND YOUTUBE UNDER THREAT well as the internet in any public, open place, imbalance of power in favour of large copyright

17, that would have given business secretary

these places will be impossible.

Second, the Lord’s chosen replacement to

power to amend internet copyright law as they

experience the online mode as on the PS3 it is

suddenly your tail whips around and stabs them through the eye with a bloodcurdling scream

universe under the guise of Aliens: Colonial Marines, Rebellion (the developer), quickly changed its mind and produced an update of its classic Aliens Versus Predator franchise. Split into three separate campaigns, one for each species, a survival mode and an online play mode, where the longevity and life of this game mode is a riot and great fun if you want to see your friends squirm with fear. The premise is a simple one; survive waves of Aliens and then eventually Predators. Dropped into an arena

version, with improved visuals and a decent online mode. Having said that, the PS3 does run

on it and it contains the core storyline for what has taken place on the research colony. That does not mean to say the other two campaigns are sub-par, however. good job of making players feel helpless against the onslaught of Aliens and Predators that you come across, as all players have to defend themselves with is a handful of weapons,

crosshair indicates whether the Alien is in the cover of darkness and which way the ground is

on it is bloody good fun. Remember, you’re not in space, so everybody can hear you scream.

reveals that the government will not exempt

it gives a high court judge the right to issue an

rest can now go to court and demand that every

the draconian copyright crackdown. This means

MAKE A WEBSITE>GET THOUSANDS OF POUNDS WORTH OF SOFTWARE month. This is an opportunity to put whatever is in your brain on the internet. Suggested uses

GOOD STUFF

MICROSOFT LAUNCHES ANDROID APP

get anywhere in life, exposure is important, to get into the technical side will have plenty internet is a good place to start.

Even if you have no concrete goal, the skills This is an excellent saving, given that the

likely that players will become disorientated.

The Predator is much more bulky than both the are key when playing with him. Luring enemies away from each other and then striking with

on the planet that lead to ‘xenomorph’ aliens being let loose in the colony. The campaign plays out much like a survival horror shooter, almost like F.E.A.R., due to the fact that there is a persistent threat of encountering an Alien at any point. To raise that psychological tension,

-Uses the Alien/Predator franchises well

BAD STUFF

Android, developed by Google.

The App, a barcode scanner called

for a series of tubes, the internet has plenty of niches to explore.

123-Reg is the largest web domain name provider in the UK and aims to make building a

you’re slumped in front of your computer and Studio, it’s all free.

other Smart Phone OS’, and allows barcodes to be decoded by a phone. This means barcodes

www.123-reg.co.uk/web-hosting/studentand check it out. among other things, web links.

Both species have the use of a heavy and -Steep learning curve for Aliens/Predators predator also has its signature weapons at its disposal, such as the spear, cloaking, proximity mines and the shoulder mounted cannon. No

7.5/10

NINTENDO TO LAUNCH NEW DSI

IT’S NEWS TO ME>SILLY STORIES, THE SUN AND SQUID SEX Since The Sun recently used our humble haven’t read it yet, go to

otherwise of an obscene character’. Not only was the poor squid sexually abused, The Sun Bizarrely, this story was on the main news

Over 11 million people visit The Sun’s

bricks which had a screen on them. Twenty

more mundane headlines such as ‘Snakes on a

of thesun.co.uk as a news website that makes improved

angle

views,

meaning

people

these ones have two screens.

people every month as news. Headlines such

a Smart Phone App designed for use with a the original site, a hit is a moneymaker as these silly stories thesun.co.uk in their millions, inadvertently increasing their

The Sun’s website on a daily basis, to replace your DSi. Really it’s just a DS that your granny or dad might prefer because of its larger size, pen-shaped stylus and brighter

DS boasted two screens, one of which was a touch screen allowing for more spontaneity

favourites from last week bore the headline mock-up of the photo accompanying the story,

worth considering, but remember that bigger game. The DSi, launched last April, featured a new camera and a slightly larger and brighter screen. This newest member of the team is simply a larger DSi; its screen is 93% larger or 4.2” compared with the DSi’s 3.25”. Sadly, Nintendo have not increased the screen

Open Rights Group, and Pirate Party UK for being almost, if not just as bad. The proposed provision could result in sites like YouTube or

you are given access to the full versions of

of the three, as it has had the most work focused

who isn’t familiar with the DS family, these are

legislature, they have taken one step forward and two steps back.

-Three individual campaigns provide variety enemies in the dark. Story-wise, it’s the usual

the arena) and a couple of weapons, only your

of the single player campaign can match the genuine tension and fear on display whilst playing.

As the single player campaigns go the

becomes increasingly high pitched and faster as an enemy approaches.

The Alien and Predator campaigns, however, feel like they have been stapled onto the side of the game, both of them bringing a much more stealthy approach to the game. Playing as an Alien, players can climb walls and traverse

small businesses would be open to massive

to, has been voted to be scrapped in the Lords.

buying and playing this excellent game, it’s worth considering what you want from it. The

you can choose to either run away or feast upon their brain. This is the life of H.R. Geiger’s Alien, and Aliens vs. Predator recreates the experience faithfully.

13

<T ECHNOLOGY> N L P P WF EW EGISLATION

REDATOR

09mar10 issue241

handheld consoles.

is named and shamed, showing an obvious bias towards the sea creature.

The Sun claims that the man was charged with ‘performing an act of intercourse with a dead animal, namely an octopus/squid,

for Yorkshire puds’ and ‘Squirrels go nuts for a snack’ were among The Sun’s top ten weekend news stories.

Though The Sun’s website is a constant source of amusement for me and all those who are able to see the irony in such stories, for the millions of people who use thesun.co.uk as their primary source of news, they will begin to of the news, if they didn’t already.

The popularity of content sharing websites

to make The Sun the most read news website in the country.

biggest rivals in the Smart Phone market, it is likely that the company is looking to create

stated that their App store had seen over three billion downloads, with the highest market share of the App market. However, this is also to make more Apps accessible to more

not be confused with condonement. The Sun version of its phone OS later in the year. available as a free download from the Android

14

film

09mar10 issue241

concrete.film@uea.ac.uk

MAIN FEATURE

ALICE IN WONDERLAND Alice Alice in Wonderland

Steph McKenna

7/10

Alice

OTHER SCREENS

From Paris with Love follows

Leap Year follows Anna (Amy

The Crazies

The

Crazies

Michael Blunt

Josephine Lister

5/10

2/10

Sarah Hemsted Leap Year

5/10

film

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OTHER SCREENS

A television movie with a

Case

39

is

the

latest

Ring

The Omen

Chloe Chloe

Extraordinary Measures.

Heaven

Extraordinary Measures has the elements Erin Brockovich

Chloe Pandorum Case 39

3/10

Far From A Single Man.

have seen The Exorcist The

DVD RELEASES

Bert Wardlow

Michael Lovelock

3/10

8/10

The Horseman

this view.

Ratatouille

Wall-E

Cars UP

The Horseman

Paul Cook

5/10

9/10

16

film

09mar10 issue241

concrete.film@uea.ac.uk

INTERVIEW SPECIAL>DR KEITH JOHNSTON ON THE FILM TRAILER

RATED OR SLATED? KICK-ASS: WILL IT? The eminent release of KickAss

one too many Batman re-runs on TV. This issue of reality is a huge factor in Kick-Ass:

The Event sat down with Dr. Keith Johnston, a lecturer of Film and Television studies in UEA’s school of FTV. Keith has

in to see the trailer and then

if someone in society should

including The Coolest Way to Watch Movie Trailers in the World. Before undertaking his

How do you feel that trailers

got tongues wagging in the

Stardust (director) and Snatch Kick-Ass

Keith Johnston>Well, there

of its violence and excessively In the 1930s and 40s they had which comes from an 11-yearviolence contained within it.

and we document some of his

underage violence, however

What are the key elements to a successful trailer?

Keith Johnston>I know that

‘The Most Staggering Film Ever Made!’, really screen-

Mark Millar had for a comic

But what is Kick-Ass In short, a geeky school kid,

that there is a moral in the

the 1930s and 40s they were Ironically, all the technologies that have come on since then that have challenged

Kick-Ass comment on society’s lack of

Johnson, can’t seem to fathom

screens on which you can view

around the 1950s, when you

elements have remained the same.

Do you think that stunt trailers

act structure, trailers have The Good Samaritan angle that Vaughn insists is there is a masked vigilante who wants to defend the city from evil,

Keith the audience thinks ‘What is

the growing interest in this

Johnston>I

think

makes the trailer stand out Which trailers do you feel

away too much has always however, that what is more

Spiderman trailers with Keith

What Lies Beneath trailer

Johnston>For sheer Independence Day

Towers, and more recently the new one for Toy Story 3 which

Daddy. Since the Big Daddy villain in New York City. The

for Psycho version

of

Batman,

Cage

however, thinks Kick-Ass is

of Kick-Ass, there are already talks of a sequel, should the that this will add to the reality

How important would you say

around showing something in the trailer; that really changed

the trailer, those were very

mentality. Another one is Star Wars: Episode One. It was

success.

Duncan Vicat-Brown With the confusing nature

Rachel Coxon

Keith Johnston>

TRIVIA TIME *With Avatar already reaching

Hill. NBC and Working Title recently announced they for a sequel. The release date

Cameron to create an Avatar 2

Title Television. Working Title’s theatrical releases include the 2012.

*Bad news for girls of the Twilight

Alice in Wonderland has caused

including Bridget Jones’s Diary, Billy Elliot and

Nanny McPhee, Shaun of the Dead and Four Weddings and a Funeral.

Twilight co-star Kristen Stewart. They were dreaded curse of the sequel

((500) Days of Summer helm the next Spider-Man

a result of a row with Disney.

They were less than keen at the shortened window that

Zoolander

Things Fall Apart. Fiddy will take the lead role of a star “who faces his own mortality while in his senior year in college.” Sounds actually act for this role.

Gemma Boyle

music > LOSTPROPHETS

09mar10 issue241

concrete.music@uea.ac.uk

17

Seb Crane,

THE INTERVIEW How’s the tour going, any highlights so far?

Mike (rhythm guitarist):

J: M: J: M:

How does the new album compare to your M: bands we’ve had out with us have been really

M: What musicians did you aspire to be when you were growing up?

M:

J:

now, then I don’t know what we would have said,

M: I think it’s a really good mix of all our previous Fake Sound... then you will

Why did you choose Sharks and Kids In Glass Houses to support you?

M:

J: M:

Start Something or

they deserve to do well and they’re some of our

What can we expect from you tonight?

M: We have kind of tried to make it more of a

Jamie (keyboardist): Last Train Home that we’ve played at Reading and everyone’s jumping up and down is great, but there are songs from Where We Belong

then

been endless banter on stage and we just mess So the new songs have been going down really well?

J: more than ever, we thought about how they would perform live as opposed to just how they

You’ve been around ten years now, what are your career highlights?

M:

- that was when we felt like we were moving out

If you could form a super-group, who would be in it?

M: J: M: he’d have to be good wouldn’t he? I’d have two

J:

you just want to go on stage and just perform

LOSTPROPHETS LIVE > THE FAKE SOUND OF PROGRESS? album, The Betrayed

in a Vivienne Westwood diamante belt and long hand, leading the assembled throng through a Next Stop Atro City, and

album Transmission

Start Something stage for an hour and a half, and in this sense The Betrayed had been nurtured

Dstryr And Dstryr from both album and set: “Religion needs a new employer / I’ve got the rope you need to

Omen material in LA - reportedly spending around $500,000 - to merely suggest that the resultant

Last Train Home and Shinobi vs. Dragon Ninja,

Burn Burn

The Fake sound of Progress and We Are Godzilla You Are Japan

sound of progress?

Oliver Brooks

18

music

09mar10 issue241

> ALL-STAR CHARITY SINGLES

concrete.music@uea.ac.uk

Kate Hinksman

NOW:

THEN:

Everybody Hurts

Is This The Way To Amarillo?

Everybody Hurts ..Amarillo

We Are The World

Do They Know It’s Christmas?

We are The World

that Everybody Hurts

RAPPER EVENTUALLY BEHIND BARS...

Duncan Vicat-Brown and Tom McInnes

managed to release a total of twenty one mostly Who’s Your Caddy?

Not that the heat has done anything to slow with everyone from Eminem and Kanye to Tha Carter III

Rebirth

music > LIVE REVIEWS

09mar10 issue241

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19

BIZARRE TOUR > UEA LCR > FRIDAY 19TH FEB Chipmunk took to the stage in spectacular fashion and performed his track Saviour

Pass Out

O My Daze

Oopsy Daisy, Look for me and Diamond Rings

Too Many Man and

Kieran Cordery

LOS CAMPESINOS! > ARTS CENTRE > MONDAY 22ND FEB good

Youngster

Hold On Now, Romance is Boring There Are Listed Buildings

and Romance is Boring The Sea is a Good Place To Think About the Future You! Me! Dancing!. scolding Death to Los Campesinos!

Michael Blunt

HOT CHIP > UEA LCR > WEDNESDAY 24TH FEB on the crowd should not detract from the panache that well

No Fit State when all the crowd wanted was Ready for the Floor, and the general turnout

Hold On and Over and Over

Alex Throssell

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music

09mar10 issue241

concrete.music@uea.ac.uk

ALBUMS>>> ELLIE GOULDING LIGHTS

2/10

CHUMBAWAMBA ABCDEFG

5/10 Singing Out the Days

Wagner at the Opera Puccini Said Under the Sheets

You Don’t Exist

ABCDEFG

Underground, Puccini Said, Voices, That’s All

ABCDEFG

Lights

Torturing James

Underground Voices, That’s All

Tubthumping.

Jack Loughran

JOANNA NEWSOM HAVE ONE ON ME

Hazy Hale

THE AUTOMATIC 7/10 TEAR THE SIGNS DOWN

5/10 Insides

Baby Birch Interstate No Provenance Tear the Signs Down Easy

Heat Noise Run and Hide Heart of the Sun Have One on

Sweat Race to the

Monster

Me

Ys Have One on Me The Milk-Eyed Mender.

Monster

Ys.

Tear...

Tear the Signs Down is

Have One on Me Helen Thomas

Michael Blunt

music SINGLES>>>

09mar10 issue241

concrete.music@uea.ac.uk

LOSTPROPHETS FOR HE’S A JOLLY GOOD FELON! 7/10

LOW SEA 9/10 NEVER YOURS

JAMIE T EMILY’S HEART

21 8/10

Never Yours,

Emily’s Heart The Betrayed,

Kings & Queens

The Fake Sound Of Progress,

For He’s A Jolly Good Felon

Emily’s Heart Christopher Mills

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22

canvas

09mar10 issue241

LIVING IN HARMONY

concrete.event@uea.ac.uk

BY HAZEL COMPTON

I wrote this when thinking of the recession, yet I do not believe in its views nor its portrayal of Britain. This is fiction, intended to make you read, not make you riot. Thank you, and enjoy.

I am the same as you. I eat, I sleep, I smile, I cry.

And we both love. We both can feel the crispy silk of the grass underneath and between our

mugs. You know the voice of your best friend as well as I know mine. You can visualise the image of your home clearly, as can I.

for our restricted choice of supplements. All

got enough electricity to keep a low-energy

feed children en mass, rearing each individual

beginning of the supermarket, divided from the rest of the cornucopia of food you can amble through. You got to choose what you fancied

for a few hours, and that is on a good day.

Then, those who had declared themselves unemployed were forced to sell their homes,

Ironic that we have lowered ourselves to

keeps the peace; no revolts can happen with one man alone if he has no following. you could also choose from the grey porridge

that when we were building our towering My mother and father walked through the same one, hand in hand. They were reassuring one another and I tried to follow them, but one

I’ve seen you all together, in the park on the haircut jiggling, called me back. She directed and pushed me to walk through the doorframe billowing and milk-tooth smile aglow. It’s easy

for my mother, and she came back for me.

When I lay my head down on my stoic bed at night, my nightmares are of the way my

your central-heated, plush kitchen. Your loving, benevolent mother will place a plate of hot, home-baked pride before you, and you will eat

back to tenderly imprint her lips to my cheek

become so accustomed to. They are like the background music of the radiator.

I don’t have a family. I did, but we declared ourselves before things got too bad, we thought

felt her lips kiss me, but I have nightmares that voice had made it sound like she knew what was happening as she smiled at me, before walking

my own life, so I was given independence. I they had forced this upon me. My parents had swallowed it hard and I understand why now, because with this independence, I’ve lost my unity; I’m one of many forced to learn to make our own dinner, when I can manage to gather enough tokens to trade for basic ingredients.

to her, without my father, leaving me to step

was you. You were clever enough to capitalise on our capital’s downfall. Illegal immigrants became the nouveau rich as the pound fell against every other currency. You brought our homes that we’d built so lusciously, brought country to your tastes and brought us out of pocket.

With fences erected and parameters divided, we became the illegal aliens in our own land, unable to enjoy the lavishness of our countryside for the cost of travelling around.

Whilst you freely pollute our air with cars and the land, we can only walk the paths we are assigned to be on.

Again, the government eased us into this

used to be all for it; taking my brother, her I had sat looking out of my bird pooh and every weekend, talking themselves of the way they were going to join yoga classes and pilates, aerobics and dancing.

They never did, but the walks are now a memory I relish for their social and unneeded

upon the lush emerald of grass, and I saw you, into your mouth. You knew you didn’t have to

gruel granules named so in a cleverly marketed ploy.

graves.

eat such a delight. I used to love chocolate, but slog miles to get what we need to survive. We cannot walk anywhere; you’ve generously given us our own space, but you constrict us in case

I looked down at you with self-pity and jealousy as I spooned the granules into my mouth. I was dishes all arcing like rainbows into the recycled

You don’t want us destroying the landscape we dribble down my chin back into my woeful

rainbow. It’s supposed to calm all doubt that it’s nothing but healthy. It’s ironically telling us that name suggests a trust in its contents to provide us with such fundamental sustenance to keep us living. It’s a pity it tastes of bile.

Would you trade it for the love-spread feast

to override my archaic ideas of pride and self-

through the chipped frame of that second door.

I split mother from father and they never were reunited.

I watch you from my window in envy all day, but you don’t care for the rough-edged, over the fence. You would back away in fear

government got tougher. As people fell to seeking allowance, we were told to work on public projects, including building tower blocks of prison-like cubicles. One bed, a cracked sink, toilet that would be apt to clog with anything more than two-ply paper. We ignorantly built these space-conserving shelters with no

they connect into the wall. A conveyer-belt and solar power, which meant those blocks only

government has eliminated obesity in us, purely because we can’t get enough to binge upon government funded help for struggling parents for so long, he was used to strangers picking him up and carrying him away from mother’s

really did think he was going to go play.

Families were split up, as it was cheaper to

Britain from me.

venue

09mar10 issue241

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concrete.listings@uea.ac.uk

VENUE>THE SIGHTS & SOUNDS OF THE CITY TUESDAY 9TH

THURSDAY 18TH

WEDNESDAY 10TH

FRIDAY 19TH THURSDAY 11TH

SATURDAY 13TH

MONDAY 15TH

TUESDAY 16TH FRIDAY 12TH

SATURDAY 20TH SUNDAY 14TH WEDNESDAY 17TH

MONDAY 22ND

EVENT SPOTLIGHT>

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HEADLIGHTS

Helen Thomas

24

competitions

09mar10 issue241

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CROSSWORD ACROSS

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WIN THE COURTEENERS TICKETS

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WIN WILD BEASTS TICKETS

Manchester indie rockers The Courteeners come to the LCR on 11/3/10 and Two Dancers Falcon

and All the King’s

Men.

Mancunian Morrissey.

That Kiss What Took You So Long and You Overdid It Doll Falcon charts.

crossword or sudoku

St. Jude.

Name:

11/3/10: What is the name of The Courteeners’ frontman?