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&OR ANYONE WHO ACTUALLY READS THIS BLURB EACH WEEK ) APOLOGISE FOR MY TONE AND GENERAL ANGER LAST IS SUE ) WAS HAVING A RUBBISH WEEK AND WATCHING THE VAPID TAME EXCUSE FOR A lLM THAT WAS *UMPER JUST MADE MY MOOD EVEN WORSE !NYWAY TO MAKE UP FOR MY NEGATIVITY LAST TIME ) WILL BE MUCH MORE UPBEAT THIS WEEK AND TO CEL EBRATE MY NEW FOUND JOLLINESS HERE IS A LIST OF THE TOP lVE THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED OVER THE LAST FORT NIGHT IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER ) WENT HOME FOR TWO DAYS ) SAW MY FAMILY WALKED AROUND MY VILLAGE AND RELAXED LOVELY ! BUS DRIVER WAITED FOR SOMEONE RUNNING TO THE BUS STOP AND ALSO WAITED TO MOVE OFF UNTIL AN ELDERLY LADY HAD SAT DOWN ) WATCHED ONE OF MY FAVOURITE lLMS (IGH &IDELITY HENCE THE TOP lVE LIST ) SAW AT LEAST FOUR DIFFERENT PEOPLE TRYING TO BRING BACK MUTTON CHOPS %VEN THOUGH ) M FOUR WEEKS AND AN EXAM AWAY FROM THE END OF MY TIME AT UNIVERSITY ) M STILL GETTING INVOLVED IN THINGS IN THIS CASE THE 5NION ELECTIONS THAT ALLOW ME TO MEET THE MOST AMAZING AND INTERESTING PEOPLE $ESPITE -ARCUS SCEPTICISM ABOUT THE GENUINE NATURE OF THIS WEEK S EDITORIAL ) REALLY HAVE HAD A BRILLIANT COUPLE OF WEEKS ) HOPE YOU HAVE TOO 5NTIL NEXT TIME
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(IGH 3TREET )T S A DIFlCULT TREND TO FOLLOW IN TERMS OF HIGH STREET CLOTHING AS FEATHERS ARE NOT PARTICULARLY EASY TO PULL OFF AWAY FROM THE CATWALK NOR ARE THEY MACHINE WASHABLE BUT FEATHERS ADORNING JEWEL LERY HAIRPIECES AND BAGS ARE GREAT FOR A SMART EVENT OR TO ADD A QUIRKY ELEMENT TO DAYWEAR
&OR A LESS @DRESSY MORE ETHNIC LOOK THE WEBSITE WWW TARTANGIFT CO M HAS A SELEC TION OF FEATHER EARRINGS THAT ARE HAND MADE AND FAIRLY AFFORD ABLE AT AN AVER AGE PRICE OF a )F YOU RE CONCERNED ABOUT WHERE THE FEATHE RS HAVE COME FROM THE WEBSITE ASS URES CUSTOMERS THAT WHILE THEY USE REA L FEATHERS THEY ARE ONLY FROM MOULTING BIRDS
3ILVER 3EQUIN AND &EATHER &ASCINATION a !CCESSORIZE
-AXIMALISM 63 -INIMALISM
,ITERARY ,IGHTS $UKE )T /UT )N !RTS 5%! HAS A FORMIDABLE REPUTATION FOR CREA TIVE WRITING SO IT S NOT SURPRISING THAT IT WOULD HOST A DEBATE ON MAXIMALISM VERSUS MINIMALISM OR THAT A FAIR NUMBER OF STU DENTS WOULD TAKE PART THEMSELVES 4HE ARGU MENT BETWEEN MINIMALIST -ATT 4HORNE AND MAXIMALIST IN BOTH LITERARY PREFERENCE AND GIGANTIC VOCABULARY #HINA -IÏVILLE BEGAN AS A SIMPLE CASE OF WHAT IS BEST 4HIS IS A TOPICAL ISSUE ( 0 ,OVECRAFT IS BEING 0ENGUIN #LASSIC ED WHILE SIMULTANE OUSLY "RITAIN S BRIGHT YOUNG THINGS ARE FU RIOUSLY IMITATING (EMINGWAY AND #ARVER "UT THE DEBATE ON MINIMALISM V MAXI MALISM ALSO TOUCHED ON SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE SUBVERSIVE WHETHER THE CATEGORIES OF
@GOOD AND @BAD CREATIVE WRITING MAY BE TOO READILY ACCEPTED AND EVEN THE VERY VALIDITY OF THE CRITERIA USED TO MARK THE WORK OF OUR BUDDING -C%WAN S AND )SHIGURO S $OES A DEMAND FOR @SPARE AND @PRECISE PROSE MEAN 'RAVITY S 2AINBOW WOULD BE AWARDED A MIDDLING 4HESE WERE THE ISSUES DEBATED ON 7EDNESDAY NIGHT 3ARAH #HRISTIE /N 4HURSDAY TH -ARCH AUTHORS #HINA -IÏVILLE -ATT 4HORNE AND 4OBY ,ITT GATH ERED IN !RTS 3PARKS mEW INSULTS WERE LEVELLED AND THE CROWD WELL THE CROWD WAS CHARGED #HARGED AS IN SPORTING CHARGED NOT TEPID LITERATURY INTEREST CHARGED WHICH
BY ANY VOLTAGE IS USUALLY A MERE SQUIB 0ER HAPS THIS WAS TO DO WITH THE FACT THAT THERE WAS A RESPECTABLE TURNOUT OF 5%! S WRITERLY STUDENTS OR PERHAPS THE REASON LAY IN THE GENUINE SENSE OF CARE THAT THE AUTHORS RA DIATED )SSUES COLLIDED AND COMPLICATED AS THE QUESTION BECAME SUCCESSIVELY MORE MUDDLED )S -C%WAN A MINIMALIST #HINA THINKS SO BUT -ATT DISAGREES )S THE ISSUE AT STAKE LESS A QUESTION OF WRITING CRAFT AND MORE OF MORALITY )S IT #ATHOLICISM VERSUS 0ROTESTANTISM OR THE EGO MANIAC VERSUS THE HUMBLE SCRIBE ,ITT CHAIRED THE TALK AND HELPED TO REIGN IN #HINA S ERUDITION AND 4HORNE S MORALISING *ACK #LARK
1UOTES $AVID -AMET S -INIMALIST -OTTO + ) 3 3 +EEP )T 3IMPLE 3TUPID -IÏVILLE S OBJECTION TO -INIMALISM h!RE THERE A LIMITED SUM OF WORDS IN THE WORLD AND IF YOU USE TOO MANY THERE LL BE A WORD DROUGHT v h7HY IS LANGUAGE SO TIPPED TOWARDS THE VISUAL RATHER THAN THE OTHER SENSES v 4HORNE h)T S LIKE THE LANGUAGE OF SEX THE WORDS DON T SEEM TO BE THERE v
-AXIMALISM AND -INIMALISM -ANIFESTOS #ALL A CHAIR A CHAIR "ECAUSE USING FEWER WORDS MEANS THE WORDS CARRY MORE WEIGHT $ESCRIPTIONS SHOULD NOT BE TOO LONG %VEN GREAT WRITERS CAN T STAY GREAT FOR HUNDREDS OF PAGES 7OULD YOU RATHER READ SOMETHING ENTIRELY GOOD OR HUNT THROUGH A BOOK FOR GOODNESS !ND WHEN SOMETHING IS DESCRIBED TO EXCESS THERE IS NOTHING FOR THE IMAGINA TION TO DO )T BECOMES THE AUTHOR S CHAIR NOT THE READER S CHAIR 2EADING SHOULD BE DEMOCRATIC 7RITING SHOULD NOT BE A SHOW OFF !ND IT SHOULD BE TRUE 2EAL LANGUAGE
IS THE LANGUAGE YOU AND ) REALLY USE 2EAL LANGUAGE IS TRUE TO REAL EXPERIENCE 4HIS TYPE OF WRITING MIGHT SEEMS EASY "UT IT IS NOT EASY TO BE TRUE !ND TRUE LANGUAGE CAN NEVER BE IMPOVERISHED /NE PERSON CANNOT WRITE EVERYTHING THAT IS REAL IN ONLY A FEW WORDS "UT MANY PEOPLE TOGETHER CAN 3ARAH #HRISTIE 4HIS WORLD IS HUGE 4ITANIC EVEN AND IF THE STORIES WE CHOOSE TO TELL ARE THOSE SET IN THE HUMDRUM REALITY OF OUR OWN LIVES THEN HOW
ARE WE MEANT TO EXPLORE MORE OF IT 2IGHT NOW HUNDREDS OF LIGHT YEARS AWAY A GALAXY IS COLLAPSING IN ON ITSELF 'REAT COSMIC TERROR $EBRIS SPIRALLING OUT FOR UNIMAGINABLY GREAT DISTANCES INTO THE VACUUM THE ABSENSE AND YOU RE TELLING ME THAT THAT S NOT RELEVANT 4HAT THAT S NOT TRUE #LOSER TO HOME THERE ARE HUNDREDS OF BARCODES IN EBONY INK ON CHALKY PIECES OF CHOPPED UP REMOLDED AND REMADE TREE AND YOU RE SAYING THAT BECAUSE *OHN 3UBURB READS THESE EVERY DAY THEY DON T HAVE VALUE THEY DON T MATTER 7HAT IF THEY RE
PART OF A GREATER WHOLE WHAT IF TO TELL A STORY YOU NEED TO TELL THE PATTERNS THAT MAKE THE STORY POSSIBLE AND THEN DESCRIBE THE SYSTEMS THAT MAKE THE PATTERNS 7HAT IF THIS TABLE IS DESCRIBED NOT AS A TABLE WHAT DOES THAT TELL US BUT AS A COLLECTION OF POINTS IN SPACE AS A DEAD TREE AS A THING MADE BY MACHINES AND PLANED BY THE HUMAN HANDS OF SOME LA BOURER IN #HINA -INIMALISM IS AN ESCAPE A SHODDY GET OUT CLAUSE FOR THOSE WHO FEAR COMPLEXITY *ACK #LARK
"OOK 2EVIEW ,INT BY 3TEVE !YLETT
3TUDENT 3TEREOTYPES
-ISUNDERSTOOD GENIUS /R THE WORST WRITER EVER )F YOU CAN T BRING YOURSELF TO READ ANY OF *EFF ,INT S NOVELS AND WITH TITLES SUCH AS .OSE &URNACE *ELLY 2ESULT AND 4HE 0HOSPHOROUS 4AROT OF -ATCHBOOKS THIS WOULD BE A REASON ABLE COURSE OF ACTION THEN 3TEVE !YLETT S BI OGRAPHY OF THE LATE SCI l WRITER IS THE NEXT BEST THING ,INT WAS A NOTORIOUS lGURE IN !MERICAN LITERATURE TRANSCENDING BOTH GENRE AND MEDIUM WITH SHORT STORIES NOV
(EY ALL 3ORRY ) M SO BEHIND ON BLOGGING BUT ) JUST GOT BACK FROM ANOTHER FABULOUS WEEKEND OF TRAVEL +ARA !NNA 3AM AND ) MY NEW BEST IES FROM #ALIFORNIA #ANADA AND !US TRALIA RESPECTIVELY JUST SPENT THE WEEKEND IN 0ARIS TRES CHIC NO !NYWAYS CLASSES ARE GOING REALLY WELL HERE WITH ONLY HOURS A WEEK IT S LIKE ) M
ELS COMICS ESSAYS TELEVISION SCRIPTS AND MUSIC (IS WRITING STYLE WAS STRANGE AND IN VENTIVE IN WAYS THAT DElED EXPLANATION AND THE WEIRDNESS OF HIS WORK WAS REmECTED BY A PERSONAL LIFE THAT WAS UNFATHOMABLE TO AL MOST ANYONE BUT ,INT HIMSELF 3TEVE !YLETT IN
,INT GIVES US A METICULOUSLY RESEARCHED LITER ARY BIOGRAPHY WITH ONE MAJOR DIFFERENCE THE SUBJECT IS ENTIRELY lCTIONAL 4HERE ARE IT SEEMS TWO MAIN PURPOSES TO THIS BOOK &IRSTLY IT IS A SATIRE ON THE CULTURAL MOVEMENTS AND WRITERS THAT EMERGED DURING ,INT S LIFETIME 4HIS HOWEVER IS SECONDARY TO THE MAIN PURPOSE WHICH IS TO AMUSE !ND IT ATTEMPTS THE LATTER WITH ALMOST RELENTLESS FEROCITY 0ARTICULARLY IN THE lRST HALF OF THE BOOK !YLETT SEEMS TO BE ATTEMPTING A LAUGH IN EVERY OTHER SENTENCE SO WHEN A GOOD JOKE DOES COME IT CAN FEEL LIKE A LUCKY HIT RATHER THAN A WELL PLACED ONE LINER 4HAT SAID IT CAN BE VERY FUNNY 3OME OF THE lNEST MOMENTS OF THE BOOK COME FROM THE QUOTED EXTRACTS FROM ,INT S WORK PARTIC ULARLY HIS NON SEQUITUR DIALOGUE AND ABSURD DESCRIPTIONS )N FACT IN RELATING BIOGRAPHICAL EVENTS !YLETT S STYLE IS OFTEN INDISTINGUISH ABLE FROM ,INT S h!ROUND ;THE TOTEM POLE= HURTLED FEEDBACK ANGELS AND BATTERING PHO TONS MINDS ENDLESS AND DENSE IRRADIATING THE ROOM #ATHEDRIC CREATURES ENTITIES IN KNOTS AND TESSERACT NATIONS DElED THE SCALE OF THE HOUSE WITH GEM INlNITIES v )F THIS AP PEALS TO YOU THEN YOU WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINT ED BY THIS BOOK )F IT DOESN T YOU WILL "EN 0ARKER
,ITERATURE IN 7ITH A HOST OF THE BIGGEST NAMES IN lCTION WRITING AND PUBLISHING NEW WORKS IN THE COMING YEAR READERS CAN LOOK FORWARD TO WITH EXCITEMENT AT THE NUMBER OF BIG RELEASES &OLLOWING THE ENORMOUS SUCCESS AND MASSIVE CONTROVERSY OF 4HE $A 6INCI #ODE $AN "ROWN IS SURE TO BRING CONTROVERSY WHEN HIS NEXT NOVEL REACHES THE SHELVES 2OBERT ,ANGDON RETURNS FOR HIS THIRD ADVEN
TURE AND "ROWN S lFTH AS HIS ATTENTIONS TURN TO THE SECRETS OF 4HE &REEMASONS IN 4HE 3OLO MON +EY 7ITH THE COURT CASE SURROUNDING ALLEGED PLAGIARISM NOW IN THE PAST A STORM IS SURE TO BE CREATED UPON LEARNING THAT -ICHAEL "AIGENT AND 2ICHARD ,EIGH S NEXT TEXT AFTER (OLY "LOOD AND 4HE (OLY 'RAIL WAS ON 4HE &REEMASONS
3TEPHEN +ING RETURNED IN *ANUARY $UMA +EY REPRESENTS YET ANOTHER NEW NOVEL FOR ONE OF THE WORLD S MOST PROLIlC AUTHORS !N ARTIST WITH ONLY ONE ARM DISCOVERS THAT HIS WORKS ARE BECOMING DANGEROUSLY PREDICTIVE OF FU TURE EVENTS AND THE MASTER OF THE THRILLER IS BOUND TO PLEASE HIS AUDIENCE YET AGAIN )N THE YEAR THAT 1UANTUM OF 3OLACE IS BROUGHT OUT AS *AMES "OND S NEXT (OLLYWOOD ASSIGNMENT 3EBASTIAN &AULKS IS TASKED WITH CREATING A NEW "OND RELEASE TO COINCIDE WITH THE ONE HUNDREDTH ANNIVERSARY OF CREATOR )AN &LEMING S BIRTH "IRDSONG AUTHOR &AULKS BRINGS HIS NOVEL OUT AT THE END OF -AY UNDER THE TITLE $EVIL -AY #ARE "ONDS S THIRTY SIXTH ADVENTURE /THER NOTABLE RELEASES INCLUDE A FURTHER ATTEMPT BY ,OUIS DE "ERNIÒRES TO MATCH HIS COLOSSAL SUCCESS WITH #APTAIN #ORELLI S -ANDOLIN AS HE FOCUSES ON THE WIN TER OF DISCONTENT IN THE S ! 0ARTISAN S $AUGHTER FOLLOWS AN UNHAPPILY MARRIED MAN INVOLVED WITH A REFUGEE OF FORMER 9UGOSLA VIA DE "ERNIÒRES CAN ALSO BE FOUND AT 5%! S SPRING ,ITERARY &ESTIVAL ON -AY ST :OÑ (ELLER PUBLISHERS 4HE "ELIEVERS IN .O VEMBER AS THE "OOKER 0RIZE NOMINEE RETURN ING TO TRACK THE ,IVITNOFF FAMILY IN .EW 9ORK AS THEY STRUGGLE TO CONTINUE IN THEIR NORMAL BEING WHEN A KEY FAMILY MEMBER FALLS ILL 3PEAKING OF ILLNESSES *' "ALLARD AN NOUNCED RECENTLY THAT HE HAS BEEN DIAG NOSED WITH PROSTATE CANCER AND SO IT COULD BE SUGGESTED THAT HIS HIGHLY ANTICIPATED AUTOBIOGRAPHY -IRACLES OF ,IFE n 3HANGHAI TO 3HEPPERTON TAKES ON AN ADDED RELEVANCE WHEN IT IS PUBLISHED THIS MONTH "OOK ENTHUSIASTS CAN EAGERLY LOOK FOR WARD TO THE COMING MONTHS OF AS THERE WILL SURELY BE SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE TO EN JOY -ATT 2AMSAY
ON VACATION ALL THE TIME 4HOUGH RIGHT NOW ) M DOING MAJOR CATCH UP WORK ) HAVE A PAGE PAPER DUE IN A FEW HOURS THAT ) DEl ANTLY HAVEN T STARTED YET BUT ) COULDN T RESIST ONE MORE TRIP TO THE ON CAMPUS PUB THE AMAZINGNESS OF HAVING A PUB ON CAMPUS NEVER CEASES TO AMAZE ME BEFORE GETTING DOWN TO WORK "UT SINCE ) ONLY NEED TO PASS IT REALLY DOESN T MATTER WHAT ) WRITE AS LONG
AS IT S REMOTELY LITERATE "UT ENOUGH ABOUT THE BORING STUDY PART OF STUDY ABROAD ) M SUPER EXCITED ABOUT THE ABROAD PART 4HEY GET A WHOLE MONTH OFF OVER HERE SO ) M HITTING COUNTRIES ) VE GOT MY EURAIL PASS AND ) M READY TO GO -Y MOM SAID ) SHOULD BE EXPLORING %NGLAND MORE BUT %UROPE IS RIGHT AT MY lNGERTIPS ) MEAN WHY SPEND %ASTER ON A COLD hBEACHv OR IN YET ANOTHER CATHEDRAL IN %NGLAND WHEN YOU CAN GO ISLAND HOPPING IN 'REECE AND THEN TAKE THE TRAIN UP TO /SLO AND mIRT WITH .ORDIC HOTTIES "UT ) VE GOT A FEW WEEKS BEFORE ) HEAD OFF SO ) VE BEEN TRYING TO ACTUALLY GO TO A FEW OF THOSE CLUBS THEY CALL THEM SOCIE TIES OVER HERE THAT ) SIGNED UP FOR THE lRST WEEK HERE ) MEAN OTHER THAN THE AMAZING INTERNATIONAL STUDENT SOCIETY PARTIES 4HE FUNNY THING IS WHENEVER ) SHOW UP TO ,IT SOC MEETINGS THEY JUST KEEP CALLING ME THE NEW +ATIEx SOMETHING ABOUT THE hTEMPO RARY !MERICANvx ) M NOT TOO FUSSED BY IT THOUGH ) VE MADE SO MANY GREAT FRIENDS HERE ALREADY DOES IT REALLY MATTER IF ONLY ONE OF THEM IS "RITISH 4UNE IN NEXT TIME WHEN ) LL BE COMING AT YOU LIVE FROM #ORFU ,OTS OF LOVE THE !MERICAN %XCHANGE STU DENT 4ERI +AROBONIK
-ETROPOLIS ) KISS HER ON THE CHEEK !ND WONDER WHY !FTER ALL ) HAD KISSED HER /N THE MOUTH BEFORE "EFORE WE MADE LOVE (ER LIPS SEEMED ENCHANTING 5NATTAINABLE BEAUTY (AD BEEN MINE FOR PLEASURE !ND ) WAS WILLING TO GIVE MY ALL *UST FOR A CHANCE OF EMBRACE (ER GOLDEN WATERFALL LIKE HAIR 3EEMS NOW MOTIONLESS (ER LUSTFUL GAZE 4URNS INTO A COLD STARE (ER INTOXICATING PERFUME .OW MIX WITH SMOKE !ND THOSE lNGERS ONCE SO PLAYFUL %NTERTAIN A BLOODLESS CIGARETTE
7HEN THE "IRDS &LY "Y !ND 4HE 7ORLD ,OOKS 7IDE
) STAND LOST !N ALIEN IN A ROSE LIT ROOM 4HE SPACE ONCE A WONDERLAND .OW A DARK MARSHLAND ) NOTICE BARE WALLS 0IERCED WITH AN IRON WINDOW ! PORTAL FOR THE BROKEN HEARTED !ND LONELY LOVERS h(OW WAS IT v 3HE ASKS IN A HOARSE VOICE !ND ) CAN T HELP REMEMBERING (ER ANGELIC TONE WHICH $ROWNED ME IN A SEA OF MELODY #ARRIED ME TO HER WARM SHORES !ND AT lRST SO EAGER AND INVITING (URLS ME BACK INTO NOW TUMULTUOUS SEA h,EAVE THE MONEY ON THE TABLE v *UST ANOTHER CUSTOMER ) WHO HAD BEEN HER KNIGHT .OW HAVE TO JOIN SWARMS OF DOOMED 5NSUCCESSFUL USELESS WRETCHED 5NCOUTH HOPELESS MEN )N A KINGDOM RULED BY CREDIT (EADQUARTERS AND CHAIN STORES 7ITH OUR QUEEN THE NEW &OOTBALLER S WIFE
) LEAVE THE MONEY ON THE TABLE *UST ANOTHER CUSTOMER .O NEED FOR ANOTHER KISS ) VE OUTSTAYED MY WELCOME ) WALK OUT INTO RAIN ) DO UP MY GRAY JACKET ! MAN WALKS PAST ME (E DOESN T LOOK UP ) REFUSE TO LOOK HIM IN THE EYES )N CASE HE RECOGNISED ME 7E RE ALL STRANGERS (EAD BOWED GRAY STRANGERS 7E DON T SMILE "ECAUSE THE WORLD DOESN T SMILE (E WALKS INTO HER HOUSE +NIGHT FOR THE NIGHT ) WALK BACK *UST ANOTHER MAN 4AYMAZ 6ALLEY
3TRANGE $EATH OF ,IBERAL 5%!
7HEN THE BIRDS mY BY AND THE WORLD LOOKS WIDE !ND YOUR DRIFTING BUT STATIC ALL ALONE INSIDE /N A &ERRIS WHEEL WITH ONE HAD HOLDING ON $ON T WANT TO FALL OFF AND YOUR FEELINGS ARE GONE "UT THEY MUST BE THERE DOWN A ALLEY OR IN A PHONE BOOTH SOMEWHERE 3O YOU SEARCH REAL HARD AND SEARCH REAL DEEP "UT YOU SURE AS HELL WONT lND THEM IN YOUR SLEEP .OR AT YOU FEET 9OUR ALL AT SEA ,EFT IN THE DARK COUNTING SHEEP 3O CLUTCH ON TIGHTER AND TIGHTER TO THE STEEL OF THE FERRIS WHEEL )TS EASY TO FORGET WHEN YOUR lLLING OUT FORMS 4HAT WHAT THE PRETTY PEOPLE TALK ABOUT AINT REAL 4HE HOPE ISN T IN YOUR BACK POCKET )N A PLUG SOCKET OR A SPACE ROCKET )T ISN T RANTING AND RAVING AT YOU ON A STAGE /R IN JOINING A BANDWAGON OR IN A BOOK AT THE END OF YOUR PAGE )T S NOT IN YOUR JOB AND ITS NOT AT THE END OF YOUR STREET -AYBE IT IS BUT YOU LOOKED AND HAVEN T SEEN IT YET !ND THE HARDER YOU THINK THE MORE YOU FORGET
4HE STRANGE DEATH OF LIBERAL 5%! HAS DAWNED ON US THIS VERY DAY CONJURED FROM THE RUINS OF BAD VIBES ,#2 S AND THE 3UNDAY 4IMES AND VOTERS WHO FOUND THEIR VOICE MADE MANY AN UNHAPPY CHOICE AS THE 3OCIALISTS LOOK DOWN INTO THEIR EMPTY PINTS AND WONDER WHAT WOULD $ENYS ,ASDEN WOULD SAY AS @$O $IFFERENT DOES DIFFERENT AND WALKS AWAY
! (EART /N THE 7ALL ) ENTER MY ROOM FOR THE LAST TIME 3ITTING ON MY BED ) SMILE THINKING OF EVERYTHING THESE WALLS HAVE BEEN WITNESS TO -Y LIFE IS NOW IN BOXES ) REMEMBER HOW ) USED TO SPLASH THE WALLS WITH SNAP SHOTS OF YOU AND ME DIFFERENT PLACES DIFFERENT SMILES ! DIFFERENT TIME ) LOOK AROUND FOR THINGS ) MIGHT HAVE MISSED UNDER THE BED BEHIND THE DRAWERS 4HEN ) REMEMBER ) MOVE THE BED FROM AGAINST THE WALL AND CROUCH PAINFULLY IN THE CORNER ) SEE IT A CHILDISH IMPRINT ON A WALL A POOR REPRESENTATION OF THE FEELINGS WE WERE TOO YOUNG TO KNOW HOW TO EXPRESS 9OUR NAME AND MINE FOREVER AS ONE ) TRACE THE LINES OF OUR HEART WITH MY lNGERS A CHILD ONCE AGAIN ) SHOULD REALLY PAINT OVER THE CRACK IT MADE IN THE WALL
4HE HOPES NOT IN THAT GIRL THE ONE THAT WAS TRUE 7HO mEW OFF LAST SPRING WITH A BETTER VERSION OF YOU 7HO BUYS HERE BRACELETS AND THAT MATCHING NECKLACE TOO 4HAT LEAVES YOU MESSED UP AND YER HEARTS STILL REELING "UT BEHIND YOUR BACK YOU BRAIN AND HEART DO SOME DIRTY DOUBLE DEALING 4HAT LEAVE YOUR HANDS SHAKING ,EAVE YOU THINKING hWHAT AM A BUILDING v BUT WHAT ARE YOU BREAKING (OPE IS JUST A WORD THAT HELPS IN THESE TIMES 7HEN IT FEELS LIKE ITS ALL BEEN MANGLED WRAPPED IN A BANNER STAR SPANGLED !ND OVER A LEDGE DANGLED 2EMEMBER WORDS SUCH AS hHOPEv AND HOPES JUST A WORD AFTER ALL
) CAN T DO IT 4HEY SAY HOPE DIES LAST 3O ) SMILE PUSH THE BED BACK INTO ITS CORNER AND WALK AWAY 2ACHEL (ANDFORTH
@4HE )RIS AS IF WRITTEN BY %DWARD 4HOMAS 9ES ) REMEMBER YOU 4HE FACE BECAUSE ONE MORNING /F STORMS YOU DREW UP NEAR ME ,IKE 3PRING )T WAS LATE /CTOBER -Y HEART GASPED 4HE TREE MOVED LIKE A DANCER ) DID NOT MOVE ONLY THE CLOUDS MOVED ,IKE CRUMBLING GOLD 7HAT ) SAW THOUGH 7AS YOU ONLY THE FACE
7HEN THE *OBS 2AN /UT )N ALL HONESTY *ACK WAS A FUCKER (E HAD BEEN REFUSED A $EED 0OLL FOR h*ÉQKKv &ORGET HIS EXTENSIVE CHARITY WORK &ORGET HOW OFTEN HE CALLS HIS MOTHER (IS INSTALLATIONS WERE ALWAYS THE SAME 4HATCHER #HURCHILL $ISRAELI !ND WHERE THE (ELL DID HE KEEP lNDING ALL OF THAT SHIT
!ND MY HEART DID COME TO THE BORDERS OF LOVE ! DREAM WOOD BRIGHTER THAN ANY SUN ) WHICH ) LOST MY WAY AND MYSELF UPON THE FOOTPATHS OF YOUR FACE !ND AT THAT MOMENT MY BLOOD DID SING (IGHER THAN THE SKY AND AROUND US WONDROUSLY OUR FRIENDSHIP BLOSSOMED LIKE ALL THE mOWERS /F 7ILTSHIRE AND $ORSETSHIRE ,UKE 'AIN
7HEN 7E 7ERE &UNNY
7ITH THE ARRIVAL OR A NEW SERIES SEARCHING FOR THE FUNNIEST DECADE FOR 46 COMEDY ON 5+46 'OLD 4HE %VENT HAS ENLISTED +IF (USSAIN TO PROMOTE THE S AND 0AUL #OOK TO HAIL THE S AS THE GREATEST COMEDY DECADE 7HAT S YOUR FAVOURITE
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7
ELL DONE TO THOSE TELLY FOLK DOWN AT 5+46 'OLD HEADQUARTERS FOR PUTTING TOGETHER THIS SPECIAL SERIES OF PROGRAMS %NCOMPASSING lVE DECADES FROM THE S RIGHT UP TO THE S 7HEN 7ERE 7E &UN NIEST WANTS TO KNOW JUST THAT n WHEN WAS "RIT AIN S 46 OUTPUT THE FUNNIEST %ACH SHOW WILL INVOLVE A COMEDIC CELEBRITY HOSTING A PROGRAM DEDICATED TO THEIR CHOSEN DECADE )T LL THEN BE THEIR JOB TO CHAMPION THE COMEDIC GREAT NESS THAT EMANATED FROM THEIR CHOSEN TEN YEAR SPAN .ICE !S IS A GIVEN WITH THESE KINDS OF PROGRAMS THE PUBLIC DEBATE WILL INEVITABLY RAGE )NSULTS WILL BE EXCHANGED 0INTS WILL BE SPILLED "OTTLES WILL PROBABLY BE SMASHED OVER CRANIUMS A NOTION FUNNY IN PRINT YES BUT NOT SO FUNNY IF YOU RE ON THE RECEIVING END /F COURSE WE DO
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ITHOUT EVEN BEING A COMPLETE DEC ADE YET THE @NOUGHTIES HAS ALREADY PROVEN ITSELF TO BE A COMEDY ERA TO CONTEND WITH )N FACT ONE COULD GO AS FAR IN SAYING IT HAS BEEN A DECADE DElNED BY COMEDY SO FAR 4HE UNmINCHINGLY OFFBEAT ZANY NESS OF THE @NOUGHTIES IS CLEAR TO SEE WITH A HANDFUL OF COMEDY DUO S DOMINATING OUR SCREENS ,UCAS AND 7ALLIAMS -ITCHELL AND 7EBB AND &IELD ING AND "ARRATT 4HE -IGHTY "OOSH ,ITTLE "RIT AIN HAS PROVED TO BE THE RUNAWAY HIT IN MANY WAYS WINNING COUNTLESS AWARDS AND GAINING A MASSIVE FOLLOWING WORLDWIDE 4HE #ATHERINE 4ATE 3HOW HAS ALSO MADE ITS MARK WITH EACH SKETCH OBSERVANTLY POKING FUN AT THOSE PEOPLE
HOPE IT NEVER COMES TO THAT WHICH IS WHY RIGHT HERE IN THE LOVELINESS KNOWN AS 4HE %VENT S 46 PAGES WE ARE CHAMPIONING DECADES SO YOU CAN MAKE UP YOUR OWN MIND !ND WHAT BETTER WAY TO START THAN THE DECADE MOST OF US GREW UP IN 9UP THE S "RITAIN SAW A HIGHLY FRUITFUL PERIOD OF CO MEDIC GENIUS IN THE S )N FACT IT WAS ON THE VERY lRST DAY OF THE DECADE THAT ONE OF THE PERIOD S MOST ICONIC CHARACTERS MADE HIS DEBUT n IT IS OF COURSE THAT LOVABLE DIMWIT -R "EAN 4HE SHOW FOLLOWED THE EPONYMOUS CHARACTER IN EVERYDAY SITUATIONS WITH THE JOKES DERIVED FROM THE FACT THAT HE WAS NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED ! VERY SUCCESSFUL SHOW IN MORE OR LESS EVERY POSSIBLE WAY THE "EAN LEGACY IS ONE THAT STILL LINGERS TODAY WITH MOVIE TIE INS AND $6$ RELEASES ONLY STRENGTHENING THE "EAN BRAND &ROM HIS EXPERIENCES IN THE LIBRARY TO THE SWIMMING POOL -R "EAN S CLUELESS SHE NANIGANS GUARANTEED LAUGHS EVERY TIME AND WITH THAT CLASSIC YELLOW -INI IN TOW HE WENT ON TO BECOME ONE OF THE ENDURING lGURES OF THE TIME 4HAT SILLY MAN CAME GOOD AFTER ALL !NOTHER GEM FROM THE S ERA WAS &ATHER 4ED 7ITH THE LATE GREAT $ERMOT -ORGAN AS THE TITLE CHARACTER THIS SHOW CONCERNED THREE )RISH PRIESTS RESIDING ON THE lCTIONAL #RAGGY )SLAND JUST OFF )RELAND S WEST COAST $OESN T SOUND LIKE A SETTING FOR COMEDY RIGHT 3O THAT S WHY IT WAS LEFT TO THE SHOW S CHARACTERS TO TRULY MAKE IT SPE CIAL n AND THEY SURE DID 4AKE THE PRIESTS MANIC
WE ALL KNOW AND LOVE n TO HATE (OWEVER IT IS TWO OF "RITAIN S GREATEST SIT COMS THAT HAVE COME OUT OF THE S THAT ARE A TESTAMENT TO THE RICH COMEDY TALENT IN THIS COUNTRY 2ICKY 'ERVAIS INSPIRED CREATION 4HE /FlCE AND -ITCHELL AND 7EBB S lRST PERSON PHENOMENON 0EEP 3HOW "OTH SPECTACULARLY WRITTEN AND PERFORMED 4HE /FlCE AND 0EEP 3HOW HAVE TWO VERY DIFFERENT YET UNDENIABLY ADDICTIVE QUALITIES 2ICKY 'ERVAIS OFlCE BASED MASTERPIECE IS DRY WITTY AND ROOTED SO DEEP IN 'ERVAIS AND 3TEPHEN -ERCHANT S SHARPLY OBSERVANT VIEW OF REAL LIFE THAT EVERY CHAR ACTER EMBODIES A LITTLE OR A LOT OF SOMEONE WE KNOW 7HETHER YOU KNOW A 'ARETH THE SOCIALLY INEPT BOSS S PET OR A 4IM THE STUCK IN A RUT SARCASTIC THIRTY SOMETHING 4HE /FlCE
HOUSEKEEPER -RS $OYLE FOR EXAMPLE AND HER PECULIAR INSISTENCE ON SERVING TEA TO EVERYONE 4HERE WAS ALSO YOUNG &ATHER $OUGAL -C'UIRE -UCH LIKE -R "EAN &ATHER $OUGAL S INABILITY TO GRASP THE SIMPLEST EVERYDAY CONCEPTS FUELLED MUCH OF THE SHOW S HUMOUR ,ASTING THREE SEA SONS IN TOTAL THE SHOW S LEGACY WAS TINGED WITH SADNESS FOLLOWING THE UNTIMELY DEATH OF -OR GAN "UT OF ITS CONTRIBUTION TO THE S COMEDIC LANDSCAPE THERE IS NO DOUBT /BVIOUSLY GIVEN THE SHEER NUMBER OF HI LARIOUS SHOWS THAT THE PERIOD PRODUCED IT S MORE THAN LIKELY THAT YOUR FAVOURITE SHOW FROM THE S WAS OVERLOOKED "UT HERE S A QUICK RUN DOWN OF JUST SOME OF THE OTHER QUALITY SHOWS
THAT DID THEIR PART IN CONTRIBUTING TO THE ZEIT GEIST OF THE DECADE 4HE &AST 3HOW /NE &OOT IN THE 'RAVE 'OODNESS 'RACIOUS -E -EN "EHAVING "ADLY 2ED $WARF "IG 4RAIN AND 4HE 2OYLE &AM ILY 4HIS ARTICLE COULD NOT OF COURSE MENTION EVERY SHOW BUT HOPEFULLY FROM THIS SNIPPET OF THE QUALITY THAT WAS AROUND YOU VE GOT THE IDEA 4HE FUNNIEST DECADE THEN 4HE OTHER CASES HAVE OBVIOUSLY YET TO BE HEARD (OWEVER ONLY A FOOL WOULD DISMISS THE S AS IT IS QUITE FRANKLY ONE OF THE MORE SERIOUS CONTENDERS THAT COULD ACTUALLY TRIUMPH IN THIS DEBATE ,ET THE lGHT BEGIN
APPEALS TO EVERYONE RELATING TO EVERY WALK OF LIFE AND SITUATION MAKING IT THE PERFECT SITUATION COMEDY )N THE OPPOSING CORNER FOR COMEDY OF THE DECADE IS THE SUPERBLY DRY 0EEP 3HOW $AVID -ITCHELL AND 2OBERT 7EBB BRING A SARDONIC CYNICAL QUALITY TO A SHOW THAT IS SO WELL WRITTEN AND PERFORMED THAT VIEWERS HAVE FORMED A SORT OF CULT OF APPRECIATION AROUND IT %VERY EPISODE IS UNIQUE IN ITS OWN WAY AND WATCHABLE TIME AND TIME AGAIN .OT ONLY HAVE THE S PROVIDED US WITH ABSOLUTE GEMS OF COMEDY EXCELLENCE ON THE SMALL SCREEN THERE HAVE ALSO BEEN SOME FAN TASTIC lLMS TAKEN FROM TELEVISION SERIES AND PROJECTED ON THE SILVER SCREEN NOT LEAST 3OUTH 0ARK 4HE -OVIE 4HE 3IMPSONS -OVIE "ORAT AND "LUE (ARVEST n THE &AMILY 'UY lLM !LTHOUGH THESE DO NOT TECHNICALLY QUALIFY FOR THIS FEA TURE THEY ARE CERTAINLY WORTH MENTIONING AS THEY HAVE PROVIDED PLENTY OF LAUGHS ALONG THE WAY AS WELL AS DElNING THE SHARP AND SATIRI CAL COMEDY ENVIRONMENT WE LIVE IN IN THE ST #ENTURY &URTHERMORE ON THE SUBJECT OF lLMS AN ARTICLE ON THE FUNNIEST DECADE CAN NOT PASS BY WITHOUT MENTION OF THE &RAT 0ACK ERA GIV ING US SOME OF !MERICA S MOST HILARIOUS SCREW BALL COMEDIES MOST NOTABLY THE LIKES OF !N CHORMAN 4HE ,EGEND OF 2ON "URGUNDY $ODGEBALL AND :OOLANDER EASILY STAKING CLAIMS FOR COMEDY lLM OF THE DECADE "ACK TO 46 THEN AND WITH QUITE POSSIBLY "RITISH COMEDY S lNEST TALENT ON AND OFF THE
SCREEN 0ETER +AY HAS MADE HIS MARK ON THE WORLD OF COMEDY "EGINNING HIS COMEDY CA REER ON #HANNEL WITH 4HAT 0ETER +AY 4HING IN HE HAS GONE ON TO BECOME KNOWN WORLDWIDE FOR HIS CLEAN BUT HILARIOUS COMEDY SKETCHES AND STAND UP ALIKE -AX AND 0ADDY S 2OAD TO .OWHERE AND 0HOENIX .IGHTS HAVE PROV EN 0ETER +AY AND 0ATRICK 0ADDY -C'UINNESS TO BE SUPREMELY TALENTED COMEDY WRITERS AND ACTORS 4HE S ARE GENUINELY THE GREATEST COM EDY YEARS TO DATE WITH THE TRIUMPHANT RETURN OF "RITISH COMEDY ON STAGE AND SCREEN AND TO MAKE THE POINT ABSOLUTELY CLEAR THIS ARTI CLE HASN T EVEN MENTIONED THE GENIUS OF "ILL "AILEY 3TEPHEN &RY AND 3IMON !MSTELL IN THE S NOR THE PHENOMENALLY SUCCESSFUL %X TRAS 2ICKY 'ERVAIS SECOND MASTERPIECE IN THE WORLD OF SITCOM n h!RE YOU HAVING A LAUGH IS HE HAVING A LAUGH v
0RIMETIME
8 &ACTOR AND ) M A #ELEBRITY ARE OVER AND "IG "ROTHER IS A COUPLE OF MONTHS AWAY *UST WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT WAS SAFE TO TURN ON THE TELEVISION )46 lNDS A WAY TO SCRAPE THE DANK DREGS OF THE BARREL IN A WAY NEVER THOUGHT POSSIBLE 4HE RESULT IS 2OCK 2IVALS AND WHAT S MORE 3IMON #OWELL IS ATTACHED TO THE PROJECT AS A PRODUCER 4HE BASIC PREMISE IS THIS A DRAMATISATION OF LIFE BEHIND THE SCENES AT A POPULAR TELEVISION TAL ENT COMPETITION FOCUSING ON THE LIVES OF TWO OF THE JUDGES FEISTY +ARINA -ICHELLE #OLLINS BEST KNOWN FOR HER STINT ON %ASTENDERS AND THE SNIDE AND #OWELL ESQUE -AL 3EAN 'ALLAGHER #ORONA TION 3TREET WHO HAVE THE ADDED COMPLICATION OF BEING A MARRIED COUPLE WITH MAJOR ISSUES 4HE SUPPORTING CAST ARE THE CONTESTANTS THAT THEY MENTOR INCLUDING !NGEL )SLINGTON *EZ 7ILLARD AND THE BOY BAND @&ADE 5P /NE CAN ONLY HOPE
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4HIS WEEK IN #HESTER SEES THE DRAMATIC START OF THE CUSTODY BATTLE FOR #HARLIE BETWEEN *AKE AND .ANCY %ARLY IN THE WEEK SEES .AN CY S ANXIETIES UNABLE TO BE EASED BY (ANNAH OR *USTIN AND AS #HARLIE S CONDITION WORSENS DESPERATE .ANCY MAKES A PUBLIC ANNOUNCE MENT OF *AKE S ATTEMPTED RAPE OF HER ON THEIR WEDDING NIGHT WHICH A GUILTY 3TEPH LATER CONlRMS TO *ACK IS TRUE *UST AS .ANCY FEELS SHE HAS NO HOPE OF WINNING THE CASE A SURPRISE VISITOR MAY BE ABLE TO SAVE THE DAY 3TEPH IS FRUSTRATED AS -AX STILL LINGERS OVER /" S DE PARTURE RATHER THAN CONSOLING HER OVER HER TROUBLING FAMILY ISSUES ,AUREN MAKES MORE PLANS TO LOOSE HER VIRGINITY WHILST .EWT TRIES DESPERATELY TO PUT IT OFF !S *USTIN ABANDONS +ATY TO DO REVISION ALONE INSTEAD OPTING TO HELP .ANCY PREPARE FOR HER INTERVIEW +ATY SOON LAMENTS ALL HER RELATIONSHIP INSECURI TIES TO :AK UNAWARE *USTIN IS HEARING IT ALL OOPS %LSEWHERE 4ONY IS PLEASED THAT *ACQUI HAS COME TO TERMS WITH VISITS FROM HIS SON (ARRY AND %LLIOT IS OVERJOYED AS HE lNALLY SUCCESSFULLY ASKS 3ARAH ON A DATE BUT WILL IT GO TO PLAN ,ORRAINE 3OUTHGATE
2OCK 2IVALS 7EDNESDAY )46 PM THE CHARACTERS ARE AS INTERESTING AS THEIR NAMES !LSO INCLUDED IS THE TYPICAL PUSHY MUM IN THE FORM OF ,YNETTE (OPKINS !LISON .EWMAN WHO IS DESPERATE FOR HER DAUGHTER TO BE A STAR AND THERE S ALSO A STALKER CHUCKED IN FOR GOOD MEASURE "UT THE REAL SELLING POINT OF 2OCK 2IVALS IS THAT US THE VIEWERS WILL BE ABLE TO CHOOSE THE ENDING AS THEY HAVE lLMED SEVERAL DIFFERENT VER SIONS (ERE THE LINE BETWEEN DRAMA AND REAL ITY SEEMS TO BE DWINDLING SOMEWHAT AND 4HE %VENT CAN T QUITE SEE THE POINT 3URELY YOU VOTE ON A REALITY SHOW TO SUPPORT A FAVOURITE OR BE CAUSE YOU THINK THEY ARE GENUINELY TALENTED OR YOU DON T WANT THE PRAT WITH THE CHEESY SMILE AND CATCHPHRASE TO WIN WE CAN T SEE AUDIENCES CONNECTING WITH PEOPLE @PRETENDING TO BE TAL ENTED THOUGH SOME WOULD ARGUE THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT 8 &ACTOR ISx 3URELY IT S BETTER TO WATCH A
CLEVERLY THOUGHT OUT STORYLINE FROM A WRITER THAN A BOLT ON ENDING )T ELIMINATES THE ELEMENT OF INTRIGUE AND SURPRISE AFTER ALL (OWEVER IF YOU WERE A FAN OF &OOTBALLER S 7IVES OR THINGS IN A SIMILAR VEIN THIS COULD BE WHAT YOU NEED TO CURB THE CRAVINGS SINCE #HAR DONNAY ET AL LEFT OUR SCREENS 4HE lRST EPISODE FEATURES AN AFFAIR BEING EXPOSED ON NATIONAL TEL EVISION OBVIOUSLY LEADING TO MUCH BITCHING AND BACKSTABBING AS THE EX HUSBAND AND WIFE TRY TO BEAT EACH OTHER BY MENTORING A CONTESTANT EACH TO VICTORY 4RAILERS ALSO HAVE SCENES SUCH AS CHAR ACTERS CRASHING CARS ACROSS LAWNS INTO SWIMMING POOLS SCREAMING MATCHES AND OF COURSE SCENES OF A SEXUAL NATURE ! QUICK 9OU4UBE SEARCH WILL SHOW YOU THE KIND OF THING WE RE IN FOR 4ECHNICALLY THE JURY SHOULD BE OUT UNTIL WE VE HAD TWO OR THREE EPISODES OF A SERIES BUT PERSONALLY ) VE SEEN ENOUGH 'IVE IT A GO YOU
MIGHT lND YOU LOVE IT OR IF NOT EVERYTHING ELSE YOU WATCH THIS YEAR WILL SEEM SO MUCH BETTER BY COMPARISON +IRSTEN 0ETER
46 #LASSICS $UE 3OUTH .EIGHBOURS $ARREN RETURNS TO 2AMSEY 3TREET THIS WEEK AND PROMPTLY ENDS UP IN A lGHT WITH +ARL ,IBBY IS CONSEQUENTLY FORCED TO TELL +ARL THE TRUTH ABOUT $ARREN $ARREN LATER ADMITS TO 4OADIE THAT HE CAN NEVER LIVE UP TO ,IBBY S MEMORY OF $REW WHILST 4OADIE AND 3TEPH S FRIENDSHIP WITH ,IBBY AND $ARREN FORCES THEM TO TAKE SIDES -EANWHILE THE +INSKI CHILDREN ARE ACTING UP AS :EKE SNEAKS OUT OF THE HOUSE TO GO TO A PARTY WHILST 2ACHEL ACCEPTS AN INVITATION TO A NIGHTCLUB WITH OLDER MAN !NGUS (OWEVER SHE RECEIVES A NASTY SHOCK WHEN SHE THEN SEES HIM AT SCHOOL 2EALIZING THAT 2ACHEL LIED ABOUT HER AGE !NGUS REFUSES TO SPEAK TO HER AND PICKS ON HER THROWING HER OUT OF CLASS *ANAE IS JEALOUS WHEN .ED AND +IRSTEN START BECOMING CLOSER ESPECIALLY WHEN .ED PREPARES TO ATTEND HIS SCHOOL REUNION WITH HIS EX *ANAE S ANXIETY GETS THE BETTER OF HER AND mIES UP TO .ED S REUNION 0ROBLEMS ARE BOUND TO FOLLOW AS .ED AND +IRSTEN S CAR BREAKS DOWN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE 2ACHAEL 0RICE
4OP THIS 7EEK 4HE "IG "ANG 4HEORY 4HURSDAY PM # /NE OF THE FUNNIEST COMEDIES TO COME OUT OF THE 53 FOR A WHILE 4HINK &RIENDS VS 4HE )4 #ROWD
"IONIC 7OMAN 4UESDAY PM )46 53 46 ADAPTATION OF THE CLASSIC MOVIE HITS THE 5+ STARRING %ASTENDERS -ICHELLE 2YAN
4HAT -ITCHELL AND 7EBB ,OOK 4HURSDAY PM ""# !WESOME COMEDY FROM TWO OF THE BRIGHTEST TALENTS OF THIS GENERATION
3KINS -ONDAY PM % ! FAVOURITE OF THE STUDENTS SERIES TWO APPEARS TO BE AN IMPROVEMENT ON THE lRST
2AMSEY S +ITCHEN .IGHTMARES 53! 7EDNESDAY PM # 'ORDON 2AMSEY SWEARS AT !MERICANS FOOD IS OCCASIONALLY MENTIONED
.OTABLY THE lRST #ANADIAN SERIES TO REACH 53 PRIME TIME OPENING THE mOOD GATES FOR ALL OF YOUR FAVOURITE #ANUCK SHOWS $UE 3OUTH WAS IMPLAUSIBLY SUCCESSFUL WHEN IT lRST AIRED IN OFTEN BEATING ITS RIVAL IN THE SCHEDULES A LITTLE SITCOM CALLED &RIENDS 3O IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING THAT YOU LL RE MEMBER THE -OUNTIE AKA "ENTON &RASER WITH HIS ICONIC SCARLET UNIFORM AND RIDICU LOUSLY BRIMMED HAT !ND WHILE FALSE ASSOCIA TION SAYS HE WAS PLAYED BY "RENDAN &RASER IT S TRUE THAT HE WAS EQUAL PARTS $UDLEY $O 2IGHT AND 3HAFT /R MORE LIKELY YOU REMEMBER $IEFENBAKER "ENTON S PART HUSKY PART WOLF PARTNER IN CRIME SOLVING WHO lRST APPEARED BY RESCUING THE -OUNTIE FROM DROWNING !S A RESULT $IEFENBAKER WAS DEAF FOR THE REST OF THE SERIES BUT MANAGED THROUGH HIS ABILITY TO LIP READ IN BOTH %NGLISH AND )NUIT
.EEDLESS TO SAY $UE 3OUTH LAUGHED IN THE FACE OF MERE DETAILS OF PLAUSIBILITY $ESPITE TWO CANCELLATIONS "RITISH POPULARITY AND ""# lNANCE LED TO FOUR SEASONS ABOUT THE #ANADIAN MOUNTED OFlCER lGHTING CRIME ON THE ALIEN STREETS OF #HICAGO WHILE SEARCH ING FOR HIS FATHER S MURDERER !ND YET WITH REGULAR APPEARANCES OF SAID DEAD FATHER S GHOST AS WELL AS ,ESLIE .IELSON OF .AKED 'UN FAME EPISODES WHERE THE CRIME WAS SOLVED BY -OUNTIE S SUPER HUMAN SENSE OF SMELL AND A lNAL SEASON WHERE 0AUL 'ROSS STARRED WROTE DIRECTED AND SANG THE STRANGEST THING ABOUT $UE 3OUTH REMAINS THAT IT WAS CREATED BY 0AUL (AGGIS THE /SCAR WINNING WRITER OF #RASH !ND SO OUR HOPES ARE WITH (AGGIS n THAT ONE DAY HE LL BE ABLE TO REPLICATE THE SUCCESS OF THIS STORY OF ONE MAN AND HIS HUSKY *OSH "UTLER
(EARD IT ON THE 'RAPEVINE .EWS OF NEW COMEDY UP lRST IN lTTING WITH THE THEME OF THIS WEEK S PAGES -UMBAI #ALL ING IS A NEW COMEDY SERIES BASED IN AN )NDIAN CALL CENTRE SET FOR )46 IN THE AUTUMN #HANCES ARE IT S GOING TO BE DULLER THAN READING THE AVERAGE TAKEAWAY MENU BUT YOU NEVER KNOW COULD TURN OUT OK WITH 3ANJEEV "HASKAR ON BOARD /THERS TO AVOID ON THIS SIDE OF THE !T LANTIC INCLUDE A SHOW WITH 2USSEL "RAND AND 0RINCESS %UGENIE )T S BASICALLY PUTTING "RAND IN UPPER CLASS SITUATIONS AND (2( IN LOWER CLASS ONES )M SURE THE HILARITY WILL mOW LIKE THE SEWAGE OUT OF "RAND S OVER SIZED MOUTH ,ATEST 53 SUPERNATURAL DRAMA .EW !M STERDAM LOOKS LIKE A HIT OVER THE POND SO EX PECT IT OVER HERE SOMETIME SOON )T S BASED ON A DETECTIVE IN .EW 9ORK WHO HAPPENS TO BE IMMORTAL 53 SHOWS TO AVOID WILL BE A RE
ALITY SHOW BASED ON "ROOKE (OGAN AS WELL AS A REALITY SERIES STARRING ,INDSEY ,OHAN S MUM AND SISTER )T DOESN T EVEN HAVE THE ,O HAN THAT S @TALENTED $ElNITELY A MISS 0RO GRAMME MAKERS IN THE 3TATES SEEM BENT ON DESTROYING THE GOOD SHOWS AS WELL WITH 0ARIS (ILTON SET TO MAKE A GUEST APPEARANCE ON -Y .AME )S %ARL &OX HAVE DECIDED TO RUIN MORE 5+ PROGRAMMES IN THE FORM OF 3PACED THE 0EGG (YNES SITCOM THAT BECAME A CULT HIT 3IMON 0EGG HAS CONDEMNED THE PLANS CALL ING IT A hmAGRANT SNUBv TO CREATORS AND FANS ALIKE /N A lNAL NOTE STUDENT FAVOURITE 3CRUBS MAY BE SAVED FROM THE AXE WITH MORE EPI SODES ON THE BOOKS FOLLOWING THE END OF THE 53 WRITERS STRIKE *AMES "ILLINGS
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4RUTH )N 4HE )LLUSION ALS AND TRIBULATIONS OF &ACEBOOK TO 'REENmY A HIGH ENERGY CLASSIC ROCK DYNAMIC 4HE BAND S INSPIRATIONS RANGE FROM &UNER AL &OR ! &RIEND AND %MMANUEL ALL THE WAY TO $REAM 4HEATER AND -ETALLICA AND THE NEW SONGS REmECT THIS HOT BED OF INmUENCE (AVING BEEN IN THE STUDIO WRITING FOR THE PAST FEW MONTHS 4RUTH )N 4HE )LLUSION ARE EA GER TO DEBUT THEIR NEW SONGS AFTER %ASTER AND ARE READY TO PERFORM A NUMBER OF LIVE GIGS TO ADD TO THEIR EVER EXPANDING LIST OF PERFORM ANCES INCLUDING 4HE 1UEEN #HARLOTTE 0UB 4HIS *UNE WILL SEE THE RELEASE OF THEIR DE BUT ALBUM 4HE -OON IS A "ALLOON )N THE MEAN TIME YOU CAN KEEP IN TOUCH VIA THEIR -Y3PACE HTTP MYSPACE COM 4RUTH)N4HE)LLUSION !N ASSORTMENT OF HEAVY METAL ROCK AND FUNK 4RUTH )N 4HE )LLUSION ARE ONE OF THE EDGIEST BANDS TO GRACE THE SOUND WAVES OF 5%! /RIGINALLY A THREE PIECE FORMED OF TWO 5%! THIRD YEAR STUDENTS !SH (AWKINS AND !NDY 0RICE WITH VOCALIST 'REG (ARDES FROM .ORWICH 3CHOOL OF !RT AND $ESIGN THE NEW ADDITION OF BASSIST *AMES (ORWOOD ALSO FROM .3!$ HAS SEEN THEIR MUSIC GO FROM STRENGTH TO STRENGTH 3INCE THE BAND S FORMATION LESS THAN A YEAR AGO THEIR CONlDENT SOUND HAS MATURED GREATLY YET THIS HASN T SMOTHERED THEIR DIVER SITY $ESPITE EXPERIENCING A SET BACK AFTER THE LOSS OF THEIR lRST BASSIST 4RUTH )N 4HE )LLUSION HAVE A NUMBER OF mOOR lLLERS VARYING FROM ,IFELESS 3QUARE THE CATCHY BALLAD ABOUT THE TRI
#HARLOTTE &OORD
OR THIS HAPPENS #REATED JUST LAST MONTH FOR THE PURPOSE OF UNCOVERING PERPETRATORS OF PUBLIC DISPLAYS OF AFFECTION THIS GROUP HAS ALREADY AMASSED OVER MEMBERS AND CONTINUES TO GROW DAILY )T SEEMS THAT THE GROUP S INTENSION OF CATCHING PEOPLE IN THE ACTx OF KISSING IS A RATHER POPULAR ONE PARTICULARLY AMONG 5%! STUDENTS 3O FAR THE GROUP HAS CAPTURED A WIDE VARIETY OF UNSUSPECTING COUPLES EMBRAC ING ONE ANOTHER WHILE THE SLY CAMERAMEN AND WOMEN SNEAKILY SNAP AWAY 4HE GROUP IS ALREADY HOSTING ALMOST SUCH PICTURES AND LOOKS SET TO ADD MORE TO THIS TALLY IN THE FUTURE #REATOR #HARLEY 7ILKINS WHO HAS THE OFlCIAL TITLE OF @(UNTER EXPLAINED HOW THE GROUP CAME ABOUT h)T ALL BEGAN LAST TERM
WHEN WE WERE SITTING IN A BOOTH IN 4HE (IVE WHEN A COUPLE STARTED TO GET IT ON 7E THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY TO A TAKE PICTURE BUT THEY DIDN T EVEN NOTICE -OST PEOPLE ARE SO WASTED OR hCAUGHT UP IN THE MOMENTv THAT THEY HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA v 4HE GROWING POPULARITY OF THE GROUP HAS MEANT THAT PHOTOGRAPHERS NEED TO ADOPT A MORE SUBTLE APPROACH h7E HAVE TO BE SNEAKIER THESE DAYS BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE STARTING TO CLOCK ON BUT IF YOU DON T GET A ROOM THIS IS WHAT WILL HAPPEN v 3O NEXT TIME YOU RE IN THE ,#2 AND YOU THINK YOU WANT TO SHOW YOUR FEELINGS DRUNK EN OR OTHERWISE FOR SOMEBODY CONSIDER THE CONSEQUENCES CAREFULLY (ARRY ,OW
3IX $EGREES OF 3EPARATION
7HERE !RE 4HEY .OW
.ATALIE 0ORTMAN
2ICHARD / "RIEN
0LAYED !NAKIN 3KYWALKER S LOVE INTEREST 0ADMÏ IN THE 3TAR 7ARS PREQUEL TRILOGY ALONGSIDE
%WAN -C'REGOR TURNED DOWN THE ROLE OF .EO IN THE -ATRIX TRILOGY A PART lNALLY TAKEN BY
+EANU 2EEVES WHO AT THE AGE OF PLAYED -ERCUTIO IN A STAGE PRODUCTION OF 2OMEO AND *ULIET A STORY LATER MADE INTO A lLM STARRING
,EONARDO $I#APRIO ONE OF THE ACTORS UNDER CONSIDERATION FOR THE LEAD IN THE NEW MOVIE 0LAYBOY ALONG WITH
4OM #RUISE WHO HAS BEEN IMPERSONATED BY
%RIC "ANA NOW STARRING IN 4HE /THER "OLEYN 'IRL ALONG WITH
.ATALIE 0ORTMAN ,INDSAY (ARRIS
4HE MAN WHO CREATED 4HE 2OCKY (ORROR 3HOW HE IS REMEMBERED BY MANY AS THE HARMONICA PLAYING HOST OF 4HE #RYSTAL -AZE WHICH RAN IN THE EARLY S 2ICHARD / "RIEN BECAME WELL KNOWN AS THE WRITER OF 4HE 2OCKY (ORROR 3HOW WHICH WAS lRST STAGED IN THE TINY 2OYAL #OURT 4HEATRE AND BECAME A MONSTER HIT ALMOST OVERNIGHT RUN NING FOR SEVEN YEARS AT VARIOUS VENUES ACROSS ,ONDON (OWEVER TO A GENERATION OF VIEWERS HE IS SYNONYMOUS WITH THE SHOW WHICH TESTED THE CONTESTANT S ABILITY TO COMPLETE MYSTERY MEN TAL SKILL AND PHYSICAL CHALLENGES WHICH PER HAPS EXPLAINS HIS DECISION TO LEAVE 4HE #RYSTAL -AZE AFTER FOUR YEARS TO AVOID BECOMING STUCK IN A RUT / "RIEN HAS SINCE BECOME WELL KNOWN FOR HIS MUSICAL WORK ALTHOUGH HE HAS ONLY PRODUCED ONE STUDIO ALBUM TO DATE !BSOLUTE / "RIEN WHICH WAS RELEASED IN
$ESPITE THE FACT HE HAS BEEN MARRIED AND DIVORCED TWICE / "RIEN REFUSES TO BE DRAWN ON HIS SEXUAL ORIENTATION DECLARING AT A CHAR ITY AUCTION LAST YEAR THAT h) HAVE SLEPT WITH WOMEN OR MEN AND AROUND TRANSSEXUALS v .OWADAYS / "RIEN CAN BE FOUND ONSTAGE APPEARING AS THE SPIRIT IN 3NOW 7HITE S MIR ROR ON THE WALL WHILE RECENTLY HE DEPICTED THE #HILD #ATCHER FROM #HITTY #HITTY "ANG "ANG AT THE 1UEEN S TH BIRTHDAY CELEBRATIONS 0REVI OUSLY HE APPEARED IN SEVERAL lLMS INCLUDING 3PICEWORLD AND $UNGEONS AND $RAGONS )N (AMILTON #ITY #OUNCIL HONOURED / "RIEN S CONTRIBUTION TO THE ARTS WITH A STAT UE OF 2IFF 2AFF THE CHARACTER 2ICHARD PLAYED IN 4HE 2OCKY (ORROR 3HOW ON THE SITE OF THE FORMER %MBASSY #INEMA / "RIEN IS ALSO PA TRON OF THE 7ALLNESS #HILDREN S #HARITY WHERE HE HOSTS THE ANNUAL @4RANSFANDANGO "ALL WHICH RAISES MONEY FOR THE 2OYAL -ANCHESTER #HILDREN S (OSPITAL (ARRY ,OW
#IRCUIT "OARD ! 7IRED 3PECIAL 7ITH ALL THE RECENT VARIOUS MEDIA AWARD CEREMONIES BACK PATTING AND GENERAL DEMONSTRATIONS OF APPRECIATION THAT HAVE BEEN mUNG ABOUT AS OF LATE 7IRED FELT THE NEED TO DEDICATE SOME LOVE TO THE GAMES AND CONSOLES THAT HAVE CAPTURED OUR HEARTS MINDS AND STUDY HOURS THIS ACADEMIC YEAR
7II WAS A MASSIVE YEAR FOR GAMING WITH GAMES ON THE 8BOX SHOWING OFF THE CONSOLE S POWER AND THE LAUNCH OF 3ONY S NEW BEHEMOTH IN THE SHAPE OF THE 0LAYSTATION BUT THE YEAR S SUC CESS STORY HAS TO BE .INTENDO S EXPLO SION BACK ONTO THE BIG STAGE WITH THE GROUNDBREAKING 7II "RINGING TOGETHER MODERN MOTION CONTROLS AND GOOD OL FASHIONED SIMPLE GAME PLAY THE 7II HAS DONE FOR CONSOLES WHAT THE $3 DID FOR HANDHELDS GIVING THE MARKET A MACHINE FOR EVERYONE IN THE FAM ILY WITH SALES lGURES THROUGH THE ROOF
8BOX -ICROSOFT RECENTLY ANNOUNCED THAT THEIR 8BOX CONSOLE HAS SOLD A TOTAL OF EIGHTEEN MILLION UNITS WORLDWIDE MOST OF THOSE IN 7ESTERN %UROPE AND .ORTH !MERICA 4HAT IN ITSELF IS AN INCREDIBLE FEAT BUT EVEN MORE SO FOR A COMPANY THAT ONLY ESTABLISHED ITSELF IN THE MARKET YEARS AGO UP AGAINST THE MUCH LONGER TERM BRANDS OF 3ONY AND .INTENDO 3O THE 8BOX MUST BE A PRETTY DECENT MACHINE THEN 7ELL YES AND NO 0OSITIVES lRST THE 8BOX BOASTS THE BIGGEST LIBRARY OF TITLES BY A WIDE MARGIN HAVING MANY EXCLUSIVE BLOCKBUSTERS SUCH AS (ALO -ASS %FFECT AND "IOSHOCK )TS 8BOX ,IVE
AND A FEVERISH DEMAND FOR THE CONSOLE CONTINUING TO RAVAGE THE HIGH STREET .INTENDO S AIM HAS BEEN WIDESPREAD WITH GAMES SUCH AS THE ADDICTIVE 7II 3PORTS OR 7ARIOWARE 3MOOTH -OVES BUT THE HARDCORE FANS HAVE BEEN MORE THAN SATISlED WITH THE FANTASTIC ,EGEND OF :ELDA 4WILIGHT 0RINCESS AND THE NIGH ON PERFECT 3UPER -ARIO 'ALAXY AND WITH THE RELEASE OF 7II &IT AND 3UPER 3MASH "ROS "RAWL LOOKS LIKE ANOTHER KILLER YEAR FOR THE 7II AND AN INCREDI BLE YEAR FOR THOSE FEW WHO CAN GET THEIR HANDS ON ONE #HRIS "ULLOCK
SERVICE HAS AROUND MILLION ACTIVE MEMBERS ANDITHASMOUNTAINSOFEXCLUSIVEDOWNLOADS SUCH AS EXTRA GAME CONTENT VIDEOS AND PRE LAUNCH GAME DEMOS (OWEVER AS THE lRST CONSOLE THIS GENERATION TO LAUNCH GETTING AN EARLY EDGE ON THE COMPETITION HAS NOT COME WITHOUT COSTS REPORTS OF MANY UNITS SUFFERING FROM TECHNICAL PROBLEMS HAVE TARNISHED THE 8BOX S REPUTATION n THE FAILURE RATE AND THE FAMED @RED RING OF DEATH SHADOWING THE CONSOLE S SUCCESS 7HILE OWNING AN 8BOX CAN BE A SUPERB GAMING EXPERIENCE YOU MAY lND YOURSELF CROSSING YOUR lNGERS MORE THAN YOU D LIKE 0AUL "YGRAVE
#ALL OF $UTY -ODERN 7ARFARE !FTER THE DISAPPOINTING THIRD INSTALMENT OF THE SERIES ORIGINAL DEVELOPER )NlNITY 7ARD WAS GIVEN THE TASK OF BRINGING ITS #ALL OF $UTY FRANCHISE INTO THE SPHERE OF THE MODERN WORLD )N A STORY THAT TAKES YOU ALL ACROSS THE GLOBE AS EITHER A "RITISH OR !MERICAN SPECIAL FORCES SOLDIER -ODERN 7ARFARE HAS RAISED THE STANDARD OF PRODUCTION VALUES IN COMPUTER GAMES TO ANOTHER LEVEL 4HIS IS JUST MORE THAN A STEP UP IN GRAPHICS EVERYTHING FROM PHYSICS TO ANIMATION HAS BEEN ADVANCED BEYOND
-ASS %FFECT "IOWARE ARE A COMPANY CREDITED WITH MAKING SOME OF THE BEST 7ESTERN 2OLE 0LAYING 'AMES 20'S ON THE MARKET SO IT S FAIR TO SAY THAT A LARGE NUMBER OF 8BOX OWNERS WERE ANTICIPATING THIS TITLE WITH EXCITEMENT "IOWARE PROMISED THAT -ASS %FFECT WOULD BE A ROLLER COASTER OF A GAME WITH AN @EPIC STORY INVOLVING ACTION SEQUENCES AND A LARGE ARRAY OF WEAPONRY AND @"IOTIC POWERS 3O HOW DOES IT MEASURE UP 4HE BEAUTY OF -ASS %FFECT IS THAT THE CORE STORY OF THE GAME REVOLVES AROUND lVE SET MISSIONS THAT WILL TAKE ROUGHLY TEN HOURS TO COMPLETE
(OWEVER INTERWOVEN AROUND THESE EVENTS ARE A LARGE NUMBER OF OPTIONAL SIDE QUESTS HELPING YOU LEVEL UP YOUR CHARACTERS AND THEIR ABILITIES AS WELL AS GETTING A FEEL FOR HOW YOUR OVERALL MISSION IS SHAPING THE ENTIRE GALAXY 9OU LL BE LANDING ON UNCHARTED ALIEN WORLDS DISCOVERING FORGOTTEN ARTEFACTS AND OF COURSE lGHTING YOUR WAY THROUGH THE BRUTAL HORDE OF SYNTHETIC LIFE FORMS HELL BENT ON WIPING OUT ALL LIFE IN THE GALAXY /VERALL -ASS %FFECT FEELS MORE LIKE YOU RE TAKING PART IN A (OLLYWOOD MOVIE THAN A VIDEOGAME 0AUL "YGRAVE
'UITAR (ERO )))
&OR THOSE THAT HAVE BEEN UNDER A ROCK WITH INDUSTRIAL EAR PLUGS IN THE 'UITAR (ERO FRANCHISE GAVE BIRTH TO ITS THIRD INSTALMENT LAST AUTUMN WITH NEW WIRELESS GUI TARS FOR EXTRA EASE WHEN BANGING YOUR HEAD OR PRAC TICING YOUR "USTED JUMPS IN FRONT OF YOUR 46 TO COL OURED ICONS mYING AT YOU ON A SCREEN 4HEREIN LIES THE BEAUTY OF 'UITAR (ERO ))) IT LOOKS SLEEK ON 03 AND 7II WITH CHARACTERS AND STAGES THAT LOOK AMAZ ING BUT THE GAME S REAL CHARM IS ACTUALLY MAKING YOU FEEL LIKE A FULL BLOWN ROCK STAR 4HE PURE THRILL YOU CAN GET NAILING THE SOLO TO "LACK 3ABBATH S 0ARANOID THE IMMENSE SATISFACTION OF lNALLY lNISHING -ETALLICA S /NE OR HEAVEN HELP US $RAGONFORCE S 4HROUGH THE &IRE AND &LAMES MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE A GUITAR GOD EVEN IF ON A REAL GUITAR YOU COULDN T MAKE IT SOUND LIKE A DYING CAT LET ALONE MATCH UP TO 3LASH 'UITAR (ERO ))) IS PURE UNADULTERATED EXHILARATING FUN THAT WILL ALWAYS KEEP YOU GOING BACK FOR MORE #HRIS "ULLOCK
ITS IMMEDIATE CONTEMPORARIES )N TERMS OF GAMEPLAY IT CONTINUES THE SERIES lNE BALANCE BETWEEN HARDCORE STRATEGY AND THE RUN AND GUN ACTION OFTEN SPORTED BY OTHER lRST PERSON SHOOTERS 7HAT SEALS -ODERN 7ARFARE S CRITICAL ACCLAIM IS THE WONDERFUL ONLINE MULTIPLAYER USING A LEVELLING SYSTEM OFTEN SEEN IN --/20'S WHEREBY CONTINUED PLAY UNLOCKS NEW WEAPONS AND PERKS IN YOUR CLAN S QUEST FOR ONLINE DOMINATION +ARL $AVIES
03 7HY DOES THE 03 KICK THE ELECTRONIC BEHINDS OF THE 7II AND 8BOX THEN 7ELL lRST OF ALL IT S TECHNICALLY THE MOST POWERFUL CONSOLE OF THE LOT 4HE RESULT IS THAT THE GRAPHICS ARE AMAZING (ON ESTLY SOME GAMES BORDER ON PHOTO REAL ISM SUCH AS THE INCREDIBLE #ALL OF $UTY n YOU LL BE IN CONSTANT AWE OF THE GRAPHI CAL CAPABILITIES ON SHOW 4HE 03 S ALSO GOT 7I&I 4HIS MEANS YOU CAN CONNECT THE CONSOLE TO YOUR WIRELESS INTERNET CONNECTION AND BROWSE 9OU4UBE VIDEOS AND EVEN CHECK YOUR 5%! WEBMAIL 4HE CONTROLLERS ARE FULLY WIRELESS NO MORE TRIPPING OVER PESKY WIRES WHICH ONLY ADDS TO THE CONVEN IENCE n YOU CAN T HELP BUT BE IMPRESSED THE lRST TIME YOU EXPERIENCE IT #ONSOLE
-ORE 7IRED !WARDS 3EE PAGE FOR OUR WEBSITES OF THE YEAR INDUSTRY PROFESSIONAL OF THE YEAR AND MORE
OF THE YEAR THEN 4HESE ARE ONLY A FRAC TION OF THE 03 S QUALITIES !S FOR THE GAMES THEY RE ONLY GOING TO GET BETTER WITH SOME CRACKING TITLES COMING SOON 9ES IT S A BIT PRICIER THAN ITS RIVALS BUT IF YOU TRULY WANT TO DISCOVER THE NEXT GEN ERATION IT S REALLY THE ONLY WAY TO GO +IF (USSAIN
!TTACK OF THE INDIE INTELLECTS !S FAR AS STUPID BAND NAMES GO *OE ,EAN AND THE *ING *ANG *ONG IS PROBABLY THE STUPI DEST OF THEM ALL -USIC %DITOR 'REG 3ULLIVAN MEETS *,*** BASSIST 0ANDA AND LEAD SINGER *OE ,EAN TO DISCUSS THE .-% !WARDS 2AZORLIGHT AND OTHER SUCH DISLIKES
4
HE .-% !WARDS TOUR HAS BUILT ITSELF QUITE A REPUTATION OVER THE PAST FEW YEARS INTRO DUCING US TO BACK THEN UNHEARD OF ACTS SUCH AS #OLDPLAY &RANZ &ERDINAND +AI SER #HIEFS "LOC 0ARTY AND MORE RECENTLY !RCTIC -ONKEYS 4HUS MANY APPROACH THE !WARDS TOUR WITH CERTAIN ANTICIPATION 4HE ONLY BAND ON THE CURRENT TOUR THAT APPEARED TO CAUSE A STIR IN THE MUSIC BIZ AND BEEN VICTIMS OF SUCH HYPE PRE TOUR ANNOUNCE MENT WAS *OE ,EAN AND THE *ING *ANG *ONG A BAND WHOSE COLLOS AL HYPE AT TIMES SEEMS TO DERIVE FROM THEIR MUSIC &AST FORWARD TO &EBRUARY TH AND WE RE WONDER ING THROUGH THE BACKSTAGE AREA JUST HOURS BEFORE THE .-% TOUR KICKS OFF IN THE ,#2 TOWARDS THE DRESSING ROOM OF SAID BAND )T S COLD OUTSIDE AS ALWAYS AND THIS INTERVIEWER IS TIRED SOMEWHAT RE LUCTANT TO SPEND THIRTY MINUTES TALKING ABOUT HOW *,*** ARE DEAL ING WITH THE SOLID GOLD @NEXT BIG THING LABEL THAT S SET TO PROPEL THEM TO THE GIDDY HEIGHTS OF THE 5 + MUSIC SCENE &ROM WHAT WE VE HEARD AND READ *OE ,EAN LEAD SINGER OF *,*** SOUNDS LIKE SOME KIND OF SUPERHERO OF CONTEMPORARY ART (E S ACTED IN #HEKOV PLAYS AP PEARED AS A LOSER HEAD CASE ON 0EEP 3HOW DRUMMED FOR THE ILL FATED GIRL GROUP THE 0IPETTES COM POSED SONGS FOR MINI ORCHESTRAS WRITTEN SONGS FOR THE 3UGABABES AND 3OPHIE %LLIS "EXTOR FORMED A BAND ON HIS OWN TERMS *OE ,EAN AND THE *ING *ANG *ONG A BAND WHO HAVE BEEN FATED TO SUCCEED EVER SINCE THEY WROTE THEIR lRST TUNE AND YES HE S BEEN TOUTED AS THE NEXT OUTSPOKEN MOTOR MOUTH OF ROCK (OWEVER ANY PRECONCEPTIONS WE HELD OF THIS INDIE INTELLECTUAL WERE SHATTERED AS HE ENTERED THE DRESSING ROOM SPORTING CHARITY SHOP WHITE VEST SCOFlNG BREAD CONSEQUENTLY GET TING CRUMBS ON HIS VEST AND ACT ING MORE LIKE THE SCRAWNY LOSER HE PLAYED IN 0EEP 3HOW THAN THE NEXT *OHNNY "ORRELL WE UNDER STAND YOU SHOULDN T JUDGE A BOOK BY IT S COVER BUT !VERTING OUR EYES FROM *OE ,EAN IN THE CORNER
WE BEGIN OUR INTERVIEW WITH BASS IST AND ALL ROUND NICE GUY 0ANDA NOTE THAT 0ANDA HAS POSSIBLY THE MOST OUTRAGEOUS HAIR THIS WRITER HAS EVER SEEN ON A MAN 7E BEGIN WITH THE OBVIOUS TOPIC THE .-% TOUR h)T S GOING REALLY WELL OVER HALF WAY THROUGH NOW v 7HAT IS IT LIKE TO BE INVOLVED IN A TOUR THAT S BEEN A SHOWCASE FOR BANDS LIKE !RCTIC -ONKEYS #OLDPLAY AND 4HE 6IEW h)T S STRANGE !LTHOUGH WE VE KIND OF COME IN IN A DIFFERENT TIME NOW THOSE BANDS HAVE HAD THEIR TIME v !S FOR THE OTHER BANDS ON THE TOUR h)T S QUITE A MIX $OES )T /FFEND 9OU 9EAH ARE LIKE HAV ING A CUP OF TEA WITH lVE SUGARS
h)F YOU RE A GUITAR BAND YOU RE OBVIOUSLY GOING TO BE PIGEONHOLED INTO THE INDIE SCENE 7E RE A BIT ABOVE THAT v AN IMMEDIATE RUSH BUT AFTERWARDS YOU RE LEFT THINKING WHETHER IT WAS ACTUALLY MEANINGFUL OR NOT 7E RE GETTING ON FAMOUSLY WITH THE
#RIBS WE VE PROBABLY GOT MOST IN COMMON WITH THEM BUT YEAH ALL THE OTHER BANDS ARE REALLY COOL v )T S NOT LONG UNTIL WE REACH THE SUBJECT OF THE HYPE THAT CLINGS TO THIS BAND LIKE A LEECH h"EING TOUTED AS THE NEXT BIG THING BUZZ BAND ISN T SO MUCH A HINDRANCE )T CAN BE BUT WE JUST MEET THE HYPE BY PLAYING REALLY GOOD LIVE SHOWS v &ROM DAY ONE IT WAS RU MOURED *,*** HAD LABEL EXECUTIVES ON THEIR HIND LEGS AND AS .-% LOVED TO STATE LAST YEAR *,*** HAD THE EXECUTIVES BEGGING FOR MORE AFTER ONLY ONE SINGLE THE UNDE NIABLY CATCHY AND ACCOMPLISHED ,UCIO 3TARTS &IRES h7ERE WE SIGNED STRAIGHT AFTER ONE SONG .OT COM PLETELY TRUE WE REHEARSED FOR A YEAR THEN WE PLAYED A GIG WE WANTED TO BE COMPLETELY READY AND IN THE SOUND CHECK OF THE lRST GIG SOMEONE OFFERED US A SMALL PUB LISHING DEAL 7HEN YOU RE PLAYING IN ,ONDON AND YOU RE HYPED AS A BAND THINGS JUST BEGIN SNOWBALL ING YOU GET LOADS OF ! 2 MEN COMING DOWN TO GIGS AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT YOU RE SIGNED )T WAS STRANGE TO START OFF LIKE THAT PEO PLE NORMALLY TOUR FOR A LONG TIME THEN THESE THINGS FALL INTO PLACE BUT WITH US IT JUST ALL KIND OF FELL INTO PLACE FROM THE START v *OE ,EAN STATED IN A RECENT IN TERVIEW THAT HE WANTS hTO MAKE MUSIC THAT A TRIBE IN 0APUA .EW 'UINEA CAN RELATE TO v !S ACCOM PLISHED AND CATCHY AS ,UCIO 3TARTS &IRES WAS AND CURRENT SINGLE ,ONELY
"UOY IS WE CAN T REALLY SEE TRIBES IN 0APA .EW 'UINEA RELATING TO LYRICS LIKE h-Y JACKET WASN T MEANT TO BE TOUCHED SO DON T TOUCH ITv FROM ,ONELY "UOY )F THEIR .-% SHOW THAT EVENING PROVED ANYTHING ABOUT THEIR SOUND IT S THAT IT S PRETTY SIMILAR TO WELL
h,UMPING YOU IN WITH BANDS LIKE 2AZORLIGHTx IT S LAZY JOURNALISM PEOPLE LATCH ON TO SOMETHING AND THEY LL IMMEDIATELY SPELL IT OUT TO YOUxv 2AZORLIGHT h,UMPING YOU IN WITH BANDS LIKE 2AZORLIGHTx IT S LAZY JOURNALISM PEOPLE LATCH ON TO SOMETHING AND THEY LL IMMEDI ATELY SPELL IT OUT TO YOUx I E THE SINGER S GOT SOMETHING ABOUT HIM THAT SOUNDS LIKE *OHNNY "ORRELL OR THEY SOUND LIKE 4HE ,IBERTINES )T S FRUSTRATING SOMETIMES WHEN YOU RE TRYING TO DO SOMETHING
CREATIVE LIKE MAKING MUSIC YOU PUT YOUR HEART AND SOUL INTO IT YOU RE LAYING YOURSELVES DOWN FOR THE PUBLIC v 3O WHERE DO *,*** SEE THEMSELVES WITHIN THE MODERN DAY INDIE SCENE h7E LIKE TO THINK OUR MUSIC HAILS FROM OTHER THINGSx IF YOU RE A GUITAR BAND AROUND AT THE MOMENT YOU RE OBVIOUSLY GOING TO BE PIGEONHOLED INTO THE INDIE SCENE 7E RE A BIT ABOVE THAT RE ALLY v 3OON AFTER THIS WE ASK *OE ,EAN WHO IS NOW AIMLESSLY WAN DERING AROUND THE ROOM BEER IN HAND TO DESCRIBE THEIR SOUND h&UCKING AWESOMEx7AIT TILL YOU LISTEN TO OUR SET v 7ELL WE DID AND LAZY JOURNALISM OR NOT 4HE %VENT STILL THINKS *,*** SOUND LIKE 2AZORLIGHT 4HINKING IT MIGHT BE A GOOD IDEA TO TALK ABOUT BANDS THEY RE MORE FOND OF WE MENTION THEIR RECENT TOUR WITH LOCAL LADS AND 3TEVEN ,AMACQ PROTÏGÏS #HEEKY #HEEKY AND THE .OSEBLEEDS h7E DID A FEW DATES WITH THEM LAST YEAR ON A HEADLINE TOUR JUST A REALLY NICE BAND v 7E RE HEADING BACK TO 4HE "IRDCAGE A PUB THAT THEIR MANAGER OWNS AND ASK ABOUT THEIR RECENT STINT ON "ABYSHAM BLES ARENA TOUR h7E DIDN T REALLY SEE 0ETE BUT THE REST OF THE BAND WERE VERY NICE 4HE FACT THEY CAN lLL UP ARENAS PURELY ON MUSIC IS A GOOD THING 7E RE SITTING ON THE SAME TABLE AS THEM AT THE .-% AWARDS v -ANY WOULD CONSIDER SOMETHING LIKE THE .-% !WARDS SHOW AN EXCITING PROSPECT BUT *OE HAS OTHER IDEAS h) VE BEEN BEFORE AND IT S A PILE OF SHITE v 7E END THAT LINE OF CONVERSATION SWIFTLY &INALLY THIS INTERVIEWER BEING A RATHER LARGE FAN OF 0EEP 3HOW CAN T HELP BUT ASK *OE ABOUT HIS PART AS 3OPHIE S NOT ALL TOGETH ER NEPHEW h.O v RESPONDS *OE ,EAN h7E DON T TALK ABOUT STUFF THAT DERIDES FROM THE MUSIC v SAYS 0ANDA 7E LEAVE THE INTERVIEW WITH A BITTER DISSATISFACTION THAT ALL WE VE LEARNT ABOUT *OE ,EAN AND HIS *ING *ANG *ONGERS ARE THAT THEY AREN T FOND OF 2AZORLIGHT TAGS THE .-% TOUR AND 0EEP 3HOW CONVERSATIONS -AYBE IT S JUST THAT SOMETIMES MANY OF THE THINGS THAT DERIDE FROM THE MUSIC SEEM MUCH MORE INTERESTING THEN THE MUSIC ITSELF
3INGLES OF THE 7EEK 4HE +OOKS !LWAYS 7HERE ) .EED 4O "E
,EAD SINGLE FROM 4HE +OOKS SECOND ALBUM +ONK SOUNDS LIKE IT COULD COME OFF THEIR lRST 4HERE ARE A FEW SLIGHT SONIC DIFFERENCES n MEATIER GUITARS LESS MUMBLED VOCALS A (OOSIER ESQUE @DO DO DO ON THE CHORUS n BUT THIS COULD SIT FAIRLY HAPPILY ON )NSIDE )N )NSIDE /UT 7HICH MEANS THAT IF YOU DISLIKED 4HE +OOKS lRST TIME ROUND YOU LL lND THE SAME ANNOYANCES HERE SUCH AS LYRICS THAT CAN OCCASIONALLY VEER BETWEEN MILD CLICHÏ AND MILD SEXISM AND THE USE OF THE OVERLY FAMILIAR UNEXCEPTIONALLY UTILISED
TWO GUITARS BASS AND DRUMS PLUS OCCASIONAL HANDCLAPS SET UP THAT SO PROLIFERATES "RITISH ROCK POP MUSIC 4HE mIPSIDE OF THIS IS THAT IF YOU LIKE 4HE +OOKS YOU WON T BE DISAPPOINTED THEY STILL CRAFT SHORT SWEET AND CATCHY "RIT POP NUGGETS WITH A LITTLE BIT OF QUIRK IN THE VOCALS AND OCCASIONAL LYRICAL TWISTS @) ASKED TO BE HER HUMMINGBIRD $ROP YOUR PRECONCEPTIONS AND WHAT DO YOU GET ! FUN UNCOMPLICATED SINGLE THAT WON T CHANGE ANY WORLDS WILL HARDLY LODGE ITSELF IN YOUR HEAD BUT IS PLEASANT ENOUGH TO LISTEN TO WHILE YOU RE SIPPING A SMOOTHIE IN 4HE (IVE 3ARAH #HRISTIE
-'-4 4IME 4O 0RETEND -'-4 ARE THE LATEST IN A LONG LINE OF GREAT BANDS TO COME OUT OF .EW 9ORK 4IME TO 0RETEND SHOWS EXACTLY WHY 4HINK A MORE ELECTRONIC !RCADE &IRE MIMICKING 4HE &LAMING ,IPS
WITH NODS TO THE DREAMINESS OF 4HE "EACH "OYS AND YOU HAVE SOME IDEA OF WHAT IT S LIKE 4HE SONG STARTS OUT WITH A CALMING LITTLE BIT OF KEYBOARDS BEFORE THE DRUMS SOUND AND THE GUITARS START TO EMERGE !S IT CONTINUES THE GUITARS BEGIN TO WAKE UP BUT NOT TOO MUCH GIVING 4IME TO 0RETEND A SPACED OUT FEELING
"ROTHERS )N !RMS 3OMETIMES YOU FEEL THE NEED FOR YOUR MUSIC TO BE MANLY .OT NECESSARILY MUSIC THAT IS OVERTLY CHARGED WITH TESTOSTERONE THAT SAYS hLOOK HOW MANLY WE ARE 'RRRRRv *UST GOOD SOLID TUNES WHICH YOU KNOW WERE WRITTEN BY GOOD SOLID MEN GOOD SOLID MEN WITH GUITARS AND DRUMS -EN WHO WRITE PROPER SONGS NOT BRIEF MUSICAL BURPS BUT LONG SUSTAINED lVE MINUTE PLUS BELCHES "ELCHES THAT YOU CAN ENJOY ALONE OR SHARE WITH OTHER MEN
WHILE DRINKING BEER $IRES 3TRAITS "ROTHERS )N !RMS IS ONE SUCH ALBUM !ND JUST AS ANY MAN SHOULD BE A lNE SPLENDID ROUNDED INDIVIDUAL SO TOO IS THIS COLLECTION OF SONGS "OLD MEMORABLE AND MANLY TRACKS LIKE -ONEY FOR .OTHING AND 7ALK OF ,IFE ARE JOINED BY MORE TOUCHING SELECTIONS LIKE 7HY 7ORRY AND "ROTHERS IN !RMS THE LATTER OF WHICH FOCUSES ON THE GUERRILLA WARS THAT WERE TAKING PLACE IN %L 3ALVADOR AND .ICARAGUA AT THE TIME OF THE ALBUMS RELEASE 3O JUST LIKE WHEN MEN GET TOGETHER DRINK BEER AND TALK LONG INTO THE NIGHT ON THIS ALBUM THERE
3UPERGRASS "AD "LOOD
$ESPITE IT BEING AN INCREDIBLY CATCHY SYNTH POP SONG IT IS UNLIKELY TO GAIN COMMERCIAL SUCCESS DUE TO THE SINISTER UNDERTONES FOUND IN THE LYRICS )T TELLS THE STORY OF WANTING TO BE A ROCK STAR WITH ALL THE PERKS OF MONEY AND WOMEN BUT ALSO THE DANGERS OF DRUGS AND ALCOHOL THAT GO WITH IT 4HE ENDING OF THIS TALE IS DEATH
'OLDEN 3OUND $IRE 3TRAIGHTS
(OPEFULLY -'-4 WILL NOT FALL INTO THIS CYNICAL TAKE ON FAME ANYTIME SOON )NSTEAD MORE SONGS LIKE THIS WOULD BE NICE .ICK 2EADING
IS A BEAUTIFUL MARRIAGE OF EXTERIOR MANLINESS AND MORE DELICATE INTIMACY )NDEED THIS ALBUM IS A SPLENDID ACCOMPANIMENT FOR TALKING LONG INTO THE NIGHT AS THE NINE TRACKS SPAN A HEARTY MINUTES THAT AT ITS DENOUEMENT LEAVES YOU WITH A SATISFACTION AKIN TO THAT EXPERIENCED WHEN YOU HAVE HAD A FULlLLING MEAL A MANLY MEAL OF COURSE LIKE BANGERS AND MASH FOLLOWED BY CUSTARD #LEARLY THIS WAS A MUSICAL MEAL ENJOYED BY ALL AND SUNDRY AS THE ALBUM RELEASED IN WAS A HUGE COMMERCIAL SUCCESS WORLDWIDE )N PART THIS WAS BECAUSE IT WAS AT THE FOREFRONT OF THE SWITCH TO #$S IT
4HE ELDER STATESMEN OF "RITPOP KICK OFF THEIR LATEST TOUR WITH THE NEW SINGLE "AD "LOOD !LTHOUGH A SIGNIlCANT DEPARTURE FROM THE CLASSIC BREEZY POP 3UPERGRASS SOUND OF !LRIGHT AND 0UMPING ON 9OUR 3TEREO "AD "LOOD BOASTS A THUMPING HOOK WHICH ALTHOUGH CAPTIVATING STARTS TO GET A BIT REPETITIVE VERY EARLY 4HE SOMEWHAT mIPPANT SYNTH RIFF DETRACTS FROM THE DARKER TONE THAT THE BAND IS TRYING TO CONVEY WHILST THE LYRICS ARE DULL AND SEEM TO LACK ANY PASSION OR MEANING 4HERE IS A TOKEN GUITAR SOLO HALF WAY THROUGH THE TRACK BUT YOU GET THE FEELING THAT THE BAND IS TRYING TOO HARD
"Y -R %
"AD "LOOD CLEARLY DEMONSTRATES THAT 3UPERGRASS HAVE LOST THEMSELVES IN THE MUSICAL WILDERNESS ,ACKING PURPOSE THEY SEEM CONTENT TO DRIFT SLOWLY INTO POP SEMI RETIREMENT AND LIVE ON FORMER CHART SUCCESSES !S A CHILDHOOD "RITPOP FAN THIS REVIEWER USED TO REMEMBER THE QUIRKY SOUNDS OF 2ICHARD ))) AND 3UN (ITS THE 3KY BUT THERE IS A DElNITE FEELING THAT THOSE GLORY DAYS ARE LONG GONE %XPECT "AD "LOOD TO BE USED AS A 46 BACKING TRACK OR AN ADVERT BEFORE TOO LONG )T S A SHAME REALLY *ONATHAN #LARK
DITOR ARCUS *
WAS THE lRST RECORD TO SELL MORE THAN ONE MILLION IN THE #$ FORMAT AND EASILY OUTSOLD ITS ,0 VERSION 4HE SINGLE -ONEY FOR .OTHING WHICH FEATURED THE OPENING LYRICS h) WANT MY -46v SUNG BY 3TING WAS THE lRST VIDEO TO BE PLAYED ON -46 IN "RITAIN ALL OF WHICH HELPED "ROTHERS IN !RMS TO BECOME THE BIGGEST SELLING ALBUM OF WHILE ALSO TOPPING THE CHARTS ACROSS THE !TLANTIC 3O THIS WAS AN ALBUM AT THE FOREFRONT OF SIGNIlCANT CHANGES IN THE MUSIC INDUSTRY 4HIS IS AN ALBUM WITH BIG TUNES 4HIS IS AN ALBUM WITH TENDER MOMENTS 4HIS IS AN ALBUM THAT SHOULD BE LISTENED TO BY MENx AND WOMEN TOO
ONES
!LBUMS $UFFY
!LBU
M OF
2OCKFERRY #RITICS ARE CONSTANTLY BEMOANING THE DEATH OF ORIGINALITY OR EVEN OF TALENT IN POPULAR MUSIC .INE TIMES OUT OF TEN THIS IS A KNEE JERK OVERREACTION BUT OF ALL GENRES MODERN R@N B IS ONE WHERE THIS CRITICISM IS VALID /F COURSE THERE ARE STELLAR SINGLES EACH YEAR AND SOME INNOVATIVE ARTISTS WORKING ON THE FRINGES BUT GENERALLY 2@N " HAS BEEN TREADING WATER )T S MEANT TO BE SOUL BUT THERE S BEEN A WORRYING LACK OF IT OF LATE ,UCKILY FOR US A FEW TALENTS SEEM TO HAVE TURNED UP AT THE SAME TIME TO SHAKE THINGS UP !MY 7INEHOUSE !DELE AND $UFFY CAN BE BRACKETED TOGETHER AS THE lRST SOUL ACTS IN A FEW YEARS TO GARNER EQUAL AMOUNTS OF CRITICAL AND COMMERCIAL SUCCESS 4HEY ALL DEAL IN A REVISIONIST FORM OF SOUL
REVIVING THE GLORY DAYS OF SIXTIES -OTOWN 3TAX AND !TLANTIC BUT WITH A SASSY MODERN TWIST )N PART 2OCKFERRY ACHIEVES THIS 0RODUCED AND CO WRITTEN BY EX 3UEDE MAN AND GENERAL MUSICAL GURU "ERNARD "UTLER THE QUALITY CREDENTIALS BEHIND THIS ALBUM ARE IMMEDIATELY EVIDENT FROM THE TITLE TRACK 3TATELY ELEGIAC AND EPIC IT SUMMONS UP THE BARELY TAMED 7ELSH LANDSCAPE OF $UFFY S HERITAGE AND YET IS OTHERWORLDLY AT THE SAME TIME .EXT SONG 7ARWICK !VENUE IS MORE FAMILIAR BUT STILL GREAT A SUMMERY SLICE OF "ACHARACH AND $AVID STYLE SOUL (OWEVER THE FURTHER YOU GET INTO THE ALBUM THE MORE APPARENT ITS mAWS BECOME ,YRICAL INGENUITY IS NOT A COMMON FEATURE IN MAINSTREAM MUSIC AND $UFFY IS NO EXCEPTION 7HY THE ALBUM DESIGNERS CHOSE TO COVER THE ARTWORK IN BLOWN UP SNIPPETS OF THE LYRICS IS A MYSTERY BECAUSE IN GENERAL THEY RE ENTIRELY CLICHÏ )T S HERE $UFFY STUMBLES COMPARED TO HER CONTEMPORARIES THERE AREN T MANY TOP TEN HITS ABOUT REFUSING TO GO INTO REHAB BUT 4HE -ONKEES WERE SINGING ABOUT NOT BEING A 3TEPPING 3TONE BACK IN THE SIXTIES 2OCKFERRY IS A WORLD OF EMOTION SO GENERALISED IT CAN T MEAN ANYTHING TO ANYONE )T S A SHAME TOO BECAUSE $UFFY S
VOICE IS SO FANTASTIC SO GENUINE RAGGED BLUESY AND RAW THAT SHE COULD BE SINGING ABOUT BEING HELD PRISONER IN 'UANTANAMO "AY AND YOU D PROBABLY BELIEVE HER !S AN ALBUM IT S NOT LONG ENOUGH TO GROW DULL A SHORT AND SWEET TEN TRACKS LONG BUT 2OCKFERRY IS WEIGHTED DOWN BY MID PACED NUMBERS )T S EVIDENT WHICH THE TWO SINGLES ARE n SEXY SASSY -ERCY AND THE AFOREMENTIONED 2OCKFERRY n AS THEY RE THE TWO TRACKS THAT DON T TRUDGE ALONG IN THIS VEIN (OWEVER THERE IS STILL GOOD STUFF HERE WHAT EMOTION THE LYRICS LACK IS PARTLY MADE UP FOR BY THE BEAUTIFUL ORCHESTRATION "UTLER HAS DONE AN EXCELLENT JOB THE RICH
THE W
EEK
SWEEPING STRINGS THE SHUFmING EFFORTLESSLY FUNKY PERCUSSION AND THE OCCASIONAL STABS OF (AMMOND ORGAN ARE ALL FANTASTIC 4HE SOUL ALBUM IS A HARD NUT TO CRACK 4HERE ARE FEW STONE COLD CLASSICS AND UNSURPRISINGLY $UFFY HASN T MADE IT ONTO THAT LIST 3HE CLEARLY HAS HUGE POTENTIAL BUT IT HASN T QUITE BEEN TAPPED YET 9ET WITH A LITTLE MORE LYRICAL AND RHYTHMICAL INNOVATION SHE COULD BE THE 2 N " RENAISSANCE WOMAN SO MANY HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR 3ARAH #HRISTIE
'ET #APE 7EAR #APE &LY
'OLDFRAPP
.ICK #AVE AND THE "AD 3EEDS
3EARCHING FOR THE (OWS AND 7HYS
3EVENTH 4REE
$IG ,AZARUS $IG
'ET #APE 7EAR #APE &LY IS BACK WITH HIS SOPHOMORE EF FORT 3EARCHING FOR THE (OWS AND 7HYS A RECORD THAT SHOWS SIGNS OF DEVELOPMENT IN TERMS OF SIZE AND SUBJECT MATTER BUT MAIN TAINS THAT ELEMENT OF PERSONAL VULNERABILITY AND INQUIRY THAT MADE HIS DEBUT SO AP PEALING TO AUDIENCE AND CRITICS ALIKE ,ET 4HE *OURNEY "EGIN OUTLAYS THE RECORD S LYRICAL THEMES EVOKING A FAMILIAR MESSAGE OF POSITIVE CHANGE AND FORWARD PROGRESSION BEFORE 7AITING &OR 4HE -ONSTER 4O $ROWN SETS THE MUSICAL STANDARD FOR THE REST OF THE ALBUM 7ITH D N B BEATS AND LUSH SWEEPING ORCHESTRATION THE SOUND IS NO TICEABLY MORE AMBITIOUS THAN ON THE lRST ALBUM "UT IT S ACTUALLY ON THE MORE STRIPPED DOWN SONGS THAT 3EARCHINGx REALLY SUCCEEDS /DE TO HEARTBREAK -OVING &ORWARD IS PAR TICULARLY TOUCHING IN ITS VOCAL HONESTY AND LYRICAL SENTI MENT 4HE ALBUM IS UNDERSCORED WITH THE OVERTLY POLITICAL AS WE HAVE COME TO ASSOCIATE WITH '#7#& THIS TIME TACK LING SUBJECTS SUCH AS GUN CRIME WAR AND THE CORPORATE EN COURAGEMENT OF BULIMIA IN YOUNG TEENAGERS -EANWHILE "ETTER 4HINGS FEATURING +ATE .ASH SWINGS A lST AT THE CUL TURE OF CELEBRITY GOSSIP 3EARCHING FOR THE (OWS AND 7HYS CONlRMS 'ET #APE 7EAR #APE &LY S PLACE 4HAT IS lRMLY IN A LEAGUE OF HIS OWN )T IS AN ALBUM THAT SHOWCASES A REAL ARTIST IN DEVELOP MENT ONE THAT WE HOPE WILL CONTINUE TO EVOLVE IN SUCH PROMISING FASHION *OE (ENLEY
"RITISH ELECTRO SUPERSTARS 'OLDFRAPP HAVE EXCHANGED THE SPARKLE OF THE GLITTER BALL FOR THE GLISTENING RIVERS AND SUN SPOTTED lELDS OF A MELLOWER SURREALIST FOLK SOUND 'IVEN THE PREVIOUS SUC CESSES OF "LACK #HERRY AND 3UPERNATURE THE LATTER REACH ING NUMBER TWO IN THE 5+ ALBUM CHARTS AND SELLING ONE MILLION COPIES WORLDWIDE THE IMAGINATIVE DUO OF !LISON 'OLDFRAPP AND 7ILL 'REGORY HAVE SEIZED A LOT OF COUR AGE TO PRODUCE AN ALBUM SO FAR FROM THEIR GENERIC BOX &ORTUNATELY THE TRANSITION FROM A PURRING SEXED UP GLAM OUR FRENZY OF ELECTRO POP TO A SIMPLE SUNNY COLLECTION OF mOWING PSYCHEDELIC FOLK IS A CAREFULLY CRAFTED SUCCESS 3EVENTH 4REE IS THE PERFECT SOUND OF SUMMER A BLEND OF SOOTHING VOCALS AND MELODIES WITH JUST ENOUGH SPARK TO DIFFERENTIATE THE TRACKS AND KEEP THEM INTERESTING 3TANDOUT SONGS INCLUDE THE mUTTERING WARMTH AND SOARING VOCALS OF #LOWNS THE STOMPING DRUMS AND ELEC TRO CHEER OF (APPINESS AND THE COOLER TWILIGHT SOUND OF 2OAD TO 3OMEWHERE 4HE lNISHING TRACK -ONSTER ,OVE AND DEBUT SINGLE ! % ARE ALSO WORTH A LISTEN WITH THE LATTER GIVING ANY DUBIOUS LISTENER AN ADEQUATE INTRODUCTION TO THE OVERALL ATMOSPHERE OF THE ALBUM &OR FANS OF A FASTER PACED DANCE SOUND 3EVENTH 4REE MAY WANDER A LITTLE TOO FAR TO HOLD THEIR INTEREST FOR LONG )T IS HOWEVER AN IM PRESSIVE SOUNDTRACK TO ANY HAZY BLUE SKIED DAY 3TEPH -CKENNA
!T YEARS OLD .ICK #AVE COULD BE FORGIVEN FOR CEASING TO MAKE RECORDS THAT MAT TER (ELL IT D BE NO SURPRISE IF HE D FALLEN OFF THE RADAR ALTOGETHER OR WORSE HIS BAT TLE WITH HEROIN ADDICTION HAS BEEN WELL DOCUMENTED "UT CONVENTIONALITY HAS NEVER QUITE BEEN THE .ICK #AVE WAY 4HROUGHOUT HIS REMARKABLY VARIED CAREER HE HAS CONSISTENTLY STUNNED CRITICS BY TAKING UN PREDICTABLE STEPS IN EVEN MORE UNPREDICTABLE DIRECTIONS $IG ,AZARUS $IG HIS FOURTEENTH STUDIO EFFORT WITH THE "AD 3EEDS REPRESENTS THE LATEST OF THESE STEPS )T IS A RECORD OF STAGGERING BRILLIANCE /PENING WITH LEAD SINGLE AND THE ALBUM S TITLE TRACK THE SCENE IS QUICKLY SET FOR THE ENTIRE RECORD 4HINK .EW 9ORK IN THINK VINTAGE COOL AND MESSY PRODUCTION THINK PRIMAL URGES AND SLEAZY VISCERAL JOY 7HILE THERE S PROBABLY MORE IN COMMON WITH THE 'RINDERMAN ,0 THAN WITH ANY OTHER "AD 3EEDS RECORD $IG MAINTAINS THE SONGSMANSHIP LITERARY REFER ENCES AND WITTICISM OF S !BATTOIR "LUES 4HE ,YRE /F /RPHEUS DOUBLE ALBUM !S DOES IT RETAIN THAT AWKWARDLY ADDICTIVE MIX OF APOCALYPTIC EVIL AND LIFE AFlRMING BEAUTY !MONG THE CROP OF IDENTIKIT INDIE POSERS .ICK #AVE HAS ALWAYS BEEN THE GOVERNOR (IS ABILITY TO MANIPULATE WORDS AND HIS EFFORTLESS COOL ARE EVER PRESENT ON $IG ,AZARUS $IG MAK ING IT A DElNITE EARLY CONTENDER FOR THE ALBUM OF *OE (ENLEY
,IVE 2EVIEWS
4HE (OOSIERS 3UNDAY ND -ARCH 5%!
7ALKING AROUND CAMPUS ON 3UNDAY ND -ARCH YOU MAY HAVE BEEN MISTAKEN IN THINKING A 4UESDAY ,#2 HAD CHANGED DATE -IDDLE AGE MEN DRESSED AS BABIES 3PONGE"OB 3QUARE0ANTS AND HUNDREDS OF COPS AND ROBBERS QUEUED UP EAGERLY FOR THE SOLD OUT (OOSIERS GIG 4HE BAND S RE QUEST FOR THE AUDIENCE TO ATTEND IN FANCY DRESS SEEMED TO BE MET BY ALL AND SEE ING PEOPLE QUEUE UP AT THE BAR AND GATHER
ON THE DANCE mOOR IN COSTUME A GIG HAD NEVER FELT SO FAMILIAR 4HE GIG STARTED WITH STRONG SUPPORT SETS FROM TWO PROMISING ACTS FOR ) !M &INN AND 4HE 3CRIPT 4HE lRST SAW SINGER &INN AND HIS BAND IN A VARIETY OF COS TUMES PRODUCING A ROCKY DANCE SOUND 4HE 3CRIPT SHUNNED THIS IDEA INSTEAD MAKING GREAT USE OF THE LIGHTING TO GIVE THE $UBLIN BAND S SET ADDED SPECTACLE
"OTH LEFT THE CROWD HYPED AND BUZZED EAGERLY AWAITING THE WACKY THREE PIECE TO ENTER THE STAGE 4HE BAND CONTINUED TO TRY AND KEEP THEIR PROMISE THAT THIS WOULD BE @MORE THAN JUST A GIG THROUGHOUT (UMOUR WAS PROVIDED BY THE BAND S BACKING SINGERS WHO ONLY ENTERED THE STAGE WHEN NECES SARY IN RIDICULOUS OUTlTS DANCING AROUND LIKE MAD THINGS $URING THEIR PERFORMANCE
OF SECOND SINGLE 'OODBYE -R ! THE BAND PROPELLED HUGE BALLS lLLED WITH PAPER AT THE AUDIENCE PROVIDING 4HE (OOSIERS S AL TERNATIVE TO CROWD SERVING !FTER WHAT SEEMED A VERY SHORT SET IN CLUDING NEW SINGLE #OPS AND 2OBBERS THE BAND LEFT THE STAGE WITH CHANTS FOR AN EN CORE STARTING ALMOST IMMEDIATELY )T WAS HERE WHERE )RWIN WAS ABLE TO SHOW OFF HIS TRUE TALENT ENTERING BACK ONSTAGE ALONE AND PERFORMING AN ACOUSTIC NUMBER 4HE BAND RE ENTERED IN COSTUME AND PER FORMED A COVER OF "ILLY *OEL S 7E $IDN T 3TART 4HE &IRE SHOWCASING THEIR MORE SE RIOUS SIDE 3AVING THE BEST TO LAST THEY ENDED WITH THE SUMMER HIT 7ORRIED !BOUT 2AY TO WHICH A SATISlED AUDIENCE SHOUTED ALONG !S BRIGHT BOLD AND INTRIGUING IN REAL LIFE AS THEY APPEAR IN THEIR lRST TWO VID EOS 4HE (OOSIER S GIG WAS WACKY ENTER TAINING AND DElNITELY WORTH THE PRICE 4HE BAND WAS ABLE TO SHOW THEY WERE TALENTED MUSICIANS AS WELL AS ESTABLISHING A SOUND THAT WORKS FOR THEM 7ITH TWO PROMISING BANDS KICKING THE GIG OFF AND A STRONG SET FROM THE BOYS THEMSELVES .ORWICH EAGER LY AWAITS 4HE (OOSIERS S RETURN +ARINE 7ACH $ONOVAN
*ACK 0ENATE
-EET -E IN 3T ,OUIS
4HURSDAY TH -ARCH 5%!
-ONDAY TH &EBRUARY 1UEEN #HARLOTTE
*ACK 0ENATE BOUNDED BACK TO .ORWICH FOR THE FOURTH TIME ON 4HURSDAY TH -ARCH OFFERING A SELL OUT ,#2 A UNIQUE SLICE OF INDIE SOUL REGGAE ROCK 7E ARRIVED TO SEE &RIENDLY &IRES TAKE TO THE STAGE WITH THEIR ORIGINAL BLEND OF INDIE NU RAVE DISCO PLUS COWBELLS 4HE LITHE #HELSEA BOOTED YOUNGSTERS FANNED THE CROWD INTO A DAZZLING INFERNO WITH THE AID OF THEIR CHARISMATIC FRONT MAN WHO RESEMBLED A S SULKING -ICK *AGGER 4HEY GAVE AN ENERGETIC AND RECKLESS PERFORMANCE SETTING THE TONE FOR WHAT WAS TO COME AND LEAVING IN A WHIRLWIND #ONVERSELY *ACK TOOK TO THE STAGE QUIETLY WITH A CHEEKY GRIN AND A WAVE (E OPENED WITH FAST PACED STOMPER -ADE OF #ODES AND WENT STRAIGHT INTO 2UN &OR 9OUR ,IFE DURING WHICH THE PIT EXPLODED LEADING *ACK TO REMARK h9OU .ORWICH LOT ARE CRAZY v 4HIS WAS FOLLOWED BY !NOTHER 3TEP AND VIGOROUS (AVE ) BEEN A &OOL 3ONGS WERE ACCOMPANIED BY AMUSING COLLAGE STYLE VIDEOS RANGING FROM GRANNIES ON GO
CARTS TO -AGIC 4REES REMEMBER THOSE *ACK LOOKED GENUINELY AMAZED AT THE ENERGY AND PASSION OF THE CROWD FREQUENTLY SHAKING HIS HEAD IN DISBELIEF 7ORKING HIS WAY THROUGH DEBUT ALBUM -ATINEE HE TRIED HIS HAND AT 3OUTH ,ONDON WHITE BOY SOUL WITH ,EARNING ,INES AND INTERRUPTING HIGH VOLTAGE HITS WITH A MELLOW TRACKS -Y 9VONNE AND 7E 7ILL "E (ERE DISPLAYING HIS FANTASTIC VOCAL RANGE *ACK INJECTS REAL EMOTION INTO HIS SONGS APPARENT FROM THE RANGE OF PAINED AND MUSING EXPRESSIONS HE PULLS WHILST SINGING THEM (E IS UNPRETENTIOUS AND HONEST A REAL DOWN TO EARTH ,ONDON BOY WHO GOT LUCKY 4HE LOW POINT OF THE GIG WAS WHEN HE INTRODUCED 3PIT AT 3TARS AND ENCOURAGED A DISGUSTINGLY SWEATY BAND OF TEENAGERS TO SPIT THEIR HARDEST TO hSHARE THEIR LOVE v 4HIS WAS HIS OWN UNSAVOURY ATTEMPT AT BEING hAT ONEv WITH THE CROWD BUT IT DIDN T GO DOWN WELL WITH YOUNGER FEMALE FANS WHO SPENT THE ENTIRE SONG DODGING PROJECTILE SALIVA %NDING HIS INTENSE MINUTE SET WITH HIS BEST KNOWN TRACK 4ORN ON THE 0LATFORM HE RETURNED FOR A TRIPLE ENCORE lNISHING WITH THE CATCHY 3ECOND -INUTE OR (OUR *ACK S VOICE WAS ON TOP FORM AND HE WAS A BUNDLE OF BUBBLING EXCITEMENT SHOWING GRATITUDE WHICH WAS TRULY ENDEARING 7ITH THIS MODEST ATTITUDE AND HIS AMAZING TALENT WE BELIEVE THAT THE POPULARITY OF THIS 3OUTH ,ONDON TROUBADOUR IS SET TO CARRY ON SOARING !LICE 3AGGERS
7HEN SEEING A BAND LIVE ITS OFTEN DIFlCULT TO THINK OF THEM AS A GROUP OF REAL HUMAN PEO PLE WHO JUST DECIDED TO GET TOGETHER AND MAKE NOISE ON THEIR INSTRUMENTS TRYING TO CREATE SOMETHING THAT THEY AND OTHER PEOPLE WOULD LIKE 7HILST THEY ARE ON THE STAGE THE BAND IS THE FOCUS OF EVERYONE S ATTENTION BUT AFTER THE GIG MOST PEOPLE THERE WILL NOT SPARE THEM AN OTHER THOUGHT 4HIS IS WHAT MADE -EET -E IN 3T ,OUIS SO DIFFERENT &OLLOWING THE DEPARTURE OF THEIR VOCALIST A FEW WEEKS AGO THE BAND DECIDED TO HONOUR THEIR TOUR DATES PLAYING WITHOUT HIM AND THEIR SET CONSISTED OF INSTRUMENTAL VERSIONS OF THE SONGS 4HIS ALONE WOULD BE ENOUGH TO COM MAND SOME RESPECT BUT IT WAS MORE REFRESHING TO WITNESS JUST HOW MUCH THE BAND MEANT TO THEM 4HEY LOOKED SLIGHTLY LOST ON STAGE ALTHOUGH THERE CERTAINLY WASN T A LACK OF MOVEMENT AND COMMITMENT )T BECAME APPARENT THAT THE CROWD AT THE FRONT WERE DETERMINED TO SCREAM THE LYRICS BACK AT THE BAND AND -EET ME IN 3T ,OUIS CERTAINLY HAD OF A GOOD BAND 4HEY WERE AGGRESSIVE ENERGETIC AND LOUD BUT IT WAS ALWAYS IN THE BACK OF YOUR MIND THAT THERE WAS A CRUCIAL PIECE OF THE PUZZLE MISSING AND THE BAND SEEMED TO KNOW THIS !T TIMES THEY LOOKED DEJECTED WITH THE GUITARIST IN TEARS TOWARDS THE END OF THE SET AND HALF THE BAND LOOKING LIKE THEY WANTED TO SMASH SOMETHING 4HE STRESSES OF THE TOUR SEEMED TO BE TAKING THEIR TOLL BUT THEY STILL PLAYED EACH SONG LIKE IT
WAS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD TO THEM )T WASN T THE GREATEST PERFORMANCE TECH NICALLY BUT IT WAS CLEAR FOR ALL TO SEE THAT THEY WERE TRYING AS HARD AS THEY COULD SCREAMING THE LYRICS WITH SOME FEROCITY IN THE ABSENCE OF A VO CALIST #ONSTANTLY STATING THAT PERHAPS THIS WAS THE LAST TIME THEY WOULD PLAY THE SONGS HINTED AT WHAT IS NOW CLEAR IT IS THE END OF THE ROAD FOR -EET ME IN 3T ,OUIS 4HEY LOOKED LIKE THEY HAVE HAD ENOUGH BUT LIVE MUSIC WILL BE POORER WITHOUT A BAND LIKE THEM *ACK 0ITT
-AIN &EATURE
!T A LANDMARK SUMMIT ON THE GLOBAL WAR ON TERROR 0RESIDENT !SHTON 7IL LIAM (URT GETS TO THE PODIUM TO MAKE HIS SPEECH BUT BEFORE UTTERING A WORD HE IS GUNNED DOWN #HAOS ENSUES AS THE TERRORISTS PLAN UNFOLDS AND DISPARATE LIVES COLLIDE IN THE HUNT FOR THE ASSASSIN 4AKING A TOTAL OF EIGHT DIFFERENT CHARACTERS POINTS OF VIEW FROM THE SECRET SERVICE AND
AN !MERICAN TOURIST TO THE 0RESIDENT HIMSELF WE ARE REPLAYED THE ASSAS SINATION ATTEMPT THROUGH THEIR EYES GETTING CLOSER TO THE MYSTERY AT THE HEART OF ALL IT n WHODUNNIT !MONG THEM ARE 4HOMAS "ARNES $ENNIS 1UAID AND +ENT 4AYLOR -ATHEW &OX TWO 3ECRET 3ERVICE AGENTS AS SIGNED TO PROTECT THE 0RESIDENT AND !MERICAN TOURIST (OWARD ,EWIS
&OREST 7HITAKER WHO THINKS HE S CAPTURED THE SHOOTER ON HIS CAM CORDER WHILE VIDEOTAPING THE EVENT FOR HIS KIDS BACK HOME 7HEN YOU HEAR ABOUT 6ANTAGE 0OINT ITS IDEA OF USING DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVES TO TELL THE SAME STORY STRIKES YOU AS INTERESTING (OWEVER WHEN YOU lNALLY GET TO THE MAIN PLOT OF THE NARRATIVE THE lLM FALLS
$IR 0ETE 4RAVIS 2ELEASED
mAT ITS END PREMISE APPEARING RATHER CONTRIVED AND UNREALISTIC IN LIGHT OF WHAT HAS COME BEFORE IT !S EACH PERSPECTIVE IS TOLD THE REEL REACTS LIKE YOU VE HIT THE RESET BUTTON REWINDING AND STARTING ALL THE ACTION AT BUT FROM ANOTHER CHARACTER S POINT OF VIEW "ECAUSE OF THIS THE PLOT IS VERY SPARSE AND ONCE WE GET TO REAL TIME EVERYTHING IS CON
DENSED TO KEEP IT AT MINUTES *UST AS THE ACTION BEGINS TO GET GOOD THE CLOCK REWINDS DEPRIVING YOU OF ANY SATISFYING INFORMATION AND YOU ARE JUST WAITING FOR ALL THE VANTAGE POINTS TO END )T IS PRETTY CLEAR FROM THE SEC OND mASHBACK SEQUENCE WHO ONE OF THE VILLAINS IS )F YOU VE SEEN OR ANY SECRET AGENT lLM THEN YOU LL lND THE PLOT QUITE EASY TO DEDUCE 4HEY COULD HAVE DONE THE lLM QUITE EASILY IN HALF THE TIME 1UAID S 4HOMAS "ARNES A 3E CRET SERVICEMAN BACK ON THE JOB AF TER A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN COMPLETE WITH TOKEN EYE BROW RAISES AND MILD TWITCHES IS NOTHING SPECIAL HOWEV ER COMPARED TO -ATTHEW &OX S POOR TURN HIS PERFORMANCE IS /SCAR WOR THY &OX SHOULD VENTURE BACK TO HIS ISLAND 4HERE IS A SMASHING CAR CHASE AT THE END OF THE lLM WHICH SOMEWHAT MAKES UP FOR THE SLIP UPS BEFORE HOWEVER THERE IS ONE FUNDAMEN TAL PROBLEM WE ARE TOLD WHO BUT NEVER WHY )T SEEMS SILLY TO HAVE THE TERRORISTS GO THROUGH AN ASSASSINA TION ATTEMPT AND BOMBINGS WITHOUT A REAL PURPOSE 4HOUGH NEVER DULL 6ANTAGE 0OINT WILL LEAVE YOU FEELING A LITTLE DISAPPOINTED .ATASHA +UNDAIKER
#INElLE 4ERRENCE -ALICK 4HE LIST OF BRILLIANT RECLUSES IS NOT BIG BUT 4ERRENCE -ALICK IS CERTAINLY ON IT (IS DEBUT DIRECTORIAL FEATURE "ADLANDS WAS RELEASED IN TO TINY AUDIENCES AND HUGE ACCLAIM )T WAS lVE YEARS OF PRODUCTION HELL UN TIL HIS NEXT PICTURE $AYS OF (EAVEN !ND THENx NOTHING &OR TWENTY YEARS -ALICK WITHDREW COMPLETELY FROM THE PUBLIC EYE EVENTUALLY RE TURNING IN WITH 7ORLD 7AR )) EPIC 4HE 4HIN 2ED ,INE )T WAS A MERE SEVEN YEARS UNTIL HIS NEXT FEATURE 4HE .EW 7ORLD 4HIS MAY SEEM RE LAXED BUT -ALICK IS A NOTORIOUS PER FECTIONIST n $AYS OF (EAVEN TOOK A WHOPPING TWO YEARS TO EDIT )N -ALICK S lLMS THERE ARE HUMAN PLOTS LOVERS IN "AD LANDS !RISTO TELIAN TRAG EDY IN $AYS OF (EAVEN WAR IN 4HE 4HIN 2ED ,INE AND 0OCA HONTAS IN 4HE .EW 7ORLD BUT THEY ARE
OFTEN OVER SHADOWED BY GORGEOUS MEDITATIVE SHOTS OF NATURAL BEAUTY 4REAT YOUR SELF TO ONE OF HIS lLMS
HOWEVER AND YOU WON T BE WATCH ING A $AVID !TTENBOROUGH DOCU MENTARY n WHILE THE VISUAL WEIGHT IS ON NATURE HIS lLMS MAKE EXTENSIVE INVENTIVE USE OF NARRATION 4HIS DIA LECTIC BETWEEN SOUND AND IMAGE IS ONE OF THE JOYS OF HIS lLMOGRAPHY
4HAT -AL ICK GRADUATED IN PHILOSOPHY FROM (ARVARD DOESN T COME AS A SURPRISE BUT HIS WORK CAN BE ENJOYED
PURELY FOR ITS STUNNING CINEMATOG RAPHY NATURALISTIC DIALOGUE AND FAN TASTIC PERFORMANCES 4HINK 2ICHARD 'ERE IS ONLY lT FOR TEPID ROM COMS 7ATCH $AYS OF (EAVEN AND THINK AGAIN -ALICK S LATEST PROJECT IS TYPICAL LY SHROUDED IN MYSTERY 4REE OF ,IFE A NAME SO -ALICK Y IT S ALMOST SELF PARODY WAS SET TO STAR (EATH ,EDG ER BUT FOLLOWING HIS TRAGIC DEATH "RAD 0ITT IS IN TALKS 7HAT THE lLM IS ABOUT IS UNKNOWN BUT -ALICK S TRACK RECORD IS STELLAR (E IS A GREAT ENIGMA OF !MERICAN CINEMA AND POSSIBLY THE MOST CONSISTENT GENIUS IN lLM 7ITH SUCH A LIMITED lLMOGRAPHY CON SISTENCY MIGHT NOT SEEM SO I M P R E S S I V E "UT ASK YOUR SELF n HOW MANY PEOPLE MAKE ONE MASTERPIECE LET ALONE FOUR 3ARAH #HRISTIE
/THER 3CREENS
0RINCE OF 0ERSIA A GO "ASED ON THE HUGELY SUCESSFUL SWASH BUCKLING VIDEO GAME SERIES 0RINCE OF 0ERSIA 3ANDS OF 4IME HAS l NALLY SET A START DATE AND A LOCATION EVEN THOUGH NO CAST HAS YET BEEN ANNOUNCED $IRECTOR -IKE .EWELL AND PRODUCER *ERRY "RUCKHEIMER ARE GOING TO BE SHOOTING IN -OROCCO AND 0INEWOOD 3TUDIOS FROM MID *UNE 7ITH "RUCKHEIMER BEHIND IT WE VE NO DOUBT THAT IT S GOING TO BE AN EXCITING lLM
3EMI 0RO
4HE /THER "OLEYN 'IRL
$IR *USTIN #HADWICK
&ILM .EWS
0IERRE 0IERRE *ASON 2EITMAN /SCAR NOMINATED DIRECTOR OF *UNO HAS *IM #ARREY IN HIS SIGHTS TEAMING UP WITH HIM TO MAKE 0IERRE 0IERRE 4HE COMEDY WRITTEN BY %DWIN #ANNISTRACI AND &REDERICK 3ETON IS A POLITICALLY IN CORRECT STORY OF A &RENCH NIHILIST WHO TAKES A STOLEN PAINTING FROM 0ARIS TO ,ONDON
LIFE AND DRAW YOU IN 4HE PROBLEM IS THAT THE SCRIPT BY 0ETER -ORGAN IS SO SPARSE THAT THE CHARACTERS RE ALLY STRUGGLE TO COME ACROSS CON VINCINGLY %RIC "ANA S (ENRY IS A PARTICULAR DISAPPOINTMENT .ATALIE 0ORTMAN IS THE EXCEPTION WITH A lNE TURN AS !NNE BUT IT DOES NOT SALVAGE THE MOVIE )T MAY DAZZLE YOU WITH BEAUTIFUL CAMERAWORK AND ELEGANT COSTUMES BUT THERE IS VERY LITTLE SUBSTANCE BENEATH THE SHINING VENEER 0RETTY BUT DUMB 0AUL "OND
$IR +ENT !TLERMAN
7ITH COMIC BOOK MOVIES HAVING BEEN IN FULL RENAISSANCE SINCE "RYAN 3INGER S 8 -EN IN STUDIOS HAVE BEEN GREEN LIGHTING lLMS ABOUT MASKED AND TIGHT CLAD CRUSADERS LIKE WILD lRE .EXT YEAR WE ARE SET TO GET A REAL TREAT IN THE FORM OF 7ATCHMEN BASED UPON THE COMIC BOOK SERIES WRITTEN BY !LAN -OORE AND ILLUSTRATED BY $AVE 'IBBONS
7ATCHMEN IS SET IN IN AN ALTERNATE HISTORY OF !MERICA WHERE MASKED HEROES ARE PART OF THE FABRIC OF EVERYDAY SOCIETY 4HE COUNTRY IS EDGING CLOSER TO A NUCLEAR WAR WITH THE 3OVIET 5NION AND THE @$OOMS DAY #LOCK n WHICH CHARTS THE 53! S TENSION WITH THE 3OVIETS n IS PERMA NENTLY SET AT lVE MINUTES TO MID NIGHT 7HEN ONE OF HIS FORMER COL
LEAGUES IS MURDERED THE WASHED UP BUT NO LESS DETERMINED MASKED VIGI LANTE 2ORSCHACH SETS OUT TO UNCOVER A PLOT TO KILL AND DISCREDIT ALL PAST AND PRESENT SUPERHEROES 7HAT S DIFFERENT WITH 7ATCHMEN IS THAT THESE SO CALLED SUPERHEROES ARE NOT THAT SUPER AFTER ALL -OORE DECONSTRUCTS THE CONVENTIONAL SU PERHERO ARCHETYPE THE CHARACTERS
REFER TO THEMSELVES AS @COSTUMED AD VENTURERS AND WITH ONE NOTABLE EX CEPTION THEY LACK ANY RECOGNIZABLE SUPER ABILITIES 4RULY AN INSPIRATION -OORE S DARK AND GRITTY NOVEL AS IT HAS BECOME KNOWN MOVED COMICS lRMLY OUT OF THE @LOW BROW OPENING THE WORLD S EYES TO THE POTENCY THAT COMICS STILL HAD TO OFFER !FTER TWO DECADES IN DEVELOP
MENT HELL 7ATCHMEN IS lNALLY MAK ING IT TO THE BIG SCREEN $IRECTED BY :ACK 3NYDER $AWN OF THE $EAD THE lLM CURRENTLY IN POST PRODUC TION IS SET TO BE RELEASED IN -ARCH 4HIS WEEK 7ARNER "ROTHERS l NALLY UNVEILED THE lRST PICTURES FROM THE lLM AND WE VE GOT THEM BELOW TO WHET YOUR APPETITE .ATASHA +UNDAIKER
4HE #OMEDIAN
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.ITE /WL
0LAYED BY -ALIN !KERMAN 4HE (EARTBREAK +ID $RESSES 3ILK 3PECTRE FOLLOWS IN HER MOTHER S FOOTSTEPS AND JOINS THE hFAMILY BUSI NESSv OF CRIME lGHTING HAVING BEEN TRAINED HER WHOLE LIFE ! RELUCTANT VIGILANTE SHE S VOCAL IN HER FEMINIST AND HUMANITARIAN CONCERNS AND A CONDITIONED lGHTER
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/ZYMANDIAS
0LAYED BY *EFFREY $EAN -ORGAN 'REY S !NATOMY 3UPERNATURAL THE CIGAR CHOMPING GUN TOTING #OME DIAN SERVED IN EVERY MAJOR 53 CON mICT FROM 7ORLD 7AR )) TO 6IETNAM AS A SUPER SOLDIER INVOLVED IN COVERT OPERATIONS (IS TOUGH MINDED CYNI CAL PERSONALITY GIVES HIM A UNIQUE INSIGHT INTO OTHERS
0LAYED BY -ATTHEW 'OODE -ATCH 0OINT 4HE ,OOKOUT /ZYMANDIAS IS AN ARROGANT EXTRAORDINARY ATH LETE WHO HAS TURNED HIMSELF INTO A BRAND TO MAKE MILLIONS 3OMETIMES DEEMED AS THE hSMARTEST MAN IN THE WORLDv HE HAS REMARKABLE PHYSICAL ABILITIES TO THE POINT WHERE HE CAN CATCH A BULLET
0LAYED BY 0ATRICK 7ILSON (ARD #ANDY ,ITTLE #HILDREN .ITE /WL RE LIES MORE UPON TECHNICAL WIZARDRY THAN TOUGHNESS WHICH SETS HIM APART FROM HIS FELLOW COSTUMED AD VENTURERS 5SING HIS INHERITANCE HE DESIGNS AND BUILDS ALL OF HIS GADG ETS AND COSTUMES WHICH ARE BASED ON AN OWL THEME
2ELEASED 4HE /THER "OLEYN 'IRL SEEMS LIKE A GUARANTEED HIT READY MADE FOR AUDIENCES STILL HUNGRY FOR TALES OF THE TUMULTUOUS PAST OF THE %NGLISH MONARCHY )T CENTRES ON THE FATE OF THE "OLEYN CLAN AS THEY ATTEMPT TO GAIN FAVOUR IN (ENRY 4UDOR S COURT 4HE lLM IS BASED UPON THE BEST SELL ING NOVEL BY 0HILIPPA 'REGORY AND CONTAINS ENOUGH BETRAYAL ROMANCE AND INTRIGUE TO MAKE FOR AN EXCITING PROSPECT (OWEVER INSTEAD OF A TENSE AND THRILLING IMMERSION IN 4UDOR COURT LIFE THE lLM STRUGGLES TO COME TO
2ELEASED (E HAS TACKLED THE SPORTING WORLDS OF .!3#!2 AND PROFESSIONAL ICE SKATING NOW 7ILL &ERRELL APPLIES HIS IMMENSE TALENT TO THE WORLD OF S BASKETBALL !S *ACKIE -OON OWNER PLAYER COACH OF THE &LINT 4ROPICS HE HAS TO LEAD HIS TEAM OF NO HOPERS TO THE HEIGHTS OF THE ."! 3O IS IT JUST ANOTHER GENERIC SPORT COMEDY 5NFORTUNATELY YES 9OU VE SEEN THE FORMAT A HUNDRED TIMES BEFORE "UT IS IT FUNNY !LSO YES &ERRELL FANS WILL NOT BE DISAP POINTED WITH MOST OF THE COMEDY REVOLVING AROUND THE SOUL SING
0LAYED BY *ACKIE %ARLE (ALEY ,IT TLE #HILDREN !LL 4HE +ING S -EN 2ORSCHACH THOUGH A LITTLE INSANE IS A RESOURCEFUL RUTHLESS INVESTIGA TOR AND lGHTER (E IS EXCEPTIONALLY SKILLED AT USING OTHERWISE HARMLESS OBJECTS AS IMPROVISED WEAPONS TO LETHAL EFFECT (E WEARS A MASK TO HIDE HIS IDENTITY AT ALL TIMES
ING BALL PLAYING FRO HAVING *ACKIE -OON 4HE SEVENTIES SETTING GRANTS THE lLM SOME BRILLIANTLY ABSURD MOMENTS SUCH AS THE GAME OF POKER THAT INADVERTENTLY TURNS INTO 2USSIAN ROULETTE AND *ACKIE S CATCHY HIT SONG ,OVE -E 3EXY (OWEVER THE PREDICTABLE FORMULA AND WEAK SUB PLOTS LEAVES SOME LONG BREAKS BE TWEEN LAUGHS AND THE lLM SUFFERS AS A RESULT !S LONG AS YOU CAN PUT THE SPORT COMEDY ASPECT TO ONE SIDE AND ENJOY IT AS A 7ILL &ERRELL COMEDY IT IS A SEMI HILARIOUS lLM ,EWIS $YSON
,OOK OUT FOR 4HE NEW TRAILER FOR 4HE )NCREDIBLE (ULK ONLINE FROM 7EDNESDAY TH -ARCH 7ITH %D .ORTON AS THE GREEN MACHINE LET S HOPE DIRECTOR ,OUIS ,ETERRIER CAN CORRECT SOME OF !NG ,EE S PREVIOUS MISTAKES AND BRING ONE OF THE MOST ICONIC SUPERHEROES TO OUR SCREEN WITH DIGNITY
1UICKIES
$6$ 2ELEASES "RICK ,ANE
0LANET 4ERROR $IR 2OBERT 2ODRIGUEZ )N A " MOVIE REIMAGINING OF 4EXAS FEUDING MILITIA RELEASE A BIOCHEMI CAL GAS THAT TURNS THE MAJORITY OF THE POPULACE INTO BLOODTHIRSTY ZOM BIES 4HE FEW SURVIVORS INCLUDING GO GO DANCER #HERRY $ARLING 2OSE -C'OWAN AND THE MYSTERIOUS %L 7RAY &REDDY 2ODRIGUEZ BAND TO GETHER TO SURVIVE ATTACKS FROM THE ZOMBIES THE MILITARY AND VARIOUS OTHER PSYCHOPATHS 4HE BEAUTY OF 2OBERT 2ODRIGU EZ S SECTION OF 'RINDHOUSE IS THAT IT ACHIEVES EXACTLY WHAT IT SETS OUT TO IT IS A ROARING RAMPAGE OF LUDICROUS VIOLENCE WITH A HEALTHY SPRINKLING OF SEX AND A HOMAGE TO THE EXPLOI TATION lLMS OF THE S
4HE PLOT IS UNIMPORTANT AS THE @MISSING REEL IN THE SECOND ACT AT TESTS A MERE FRAMEWORK FOR ANOTH ER PUS POPPING NEEDLE STABBING LEG SEVERING EXTRAVAGANZA 9ET THE lLM S SO CRAMMED WITH IDEAS FROM THE EXCELLENT SOUND TRACK TO THE BEAUTIFULLY @AGED PRINT AND THE CAST ARE HAVING SUCH A BALL THAT 0LANET 4ERROR DOESN T DEGENERATE INTO A MERE SPLATTERFEST 4HE IMAGE OF -C'OWAN WITH A MINIGUN IN STEAD OF A LEG IS AS INDELIBLE AS %VIL $EAD S CHAINSAW IN PLACE OF HAND 4HIS IS GRINDHOUSE AS IT SHOULD BE 3ARAH #HRISTIE
$IR 3ARAH 'AVRON "RICK ,ANE IS A BEAUTIFULLY ADAPTED lLM VERSION OF -ONICA !LI S NOVEL OF THE SAME NAME 4WO YOUNG SIS TERS OBSERVE THEIR DEPRESSED MOTHER WALK INTO A POND IN THEIR "ANGLA DESHI VILLAGE AND NEVER EMERGE #ON SEQUENTLY THE ELDER SISTER .AZNEEN 4ANNISHTHA #HATTERJEE IS SENT TO ,ONDON FOR AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE WITH A REPULSIVE BUT HARMLESS OLDER MAN 3HY AND RETIRING SHE KEEPS TO HERSELF UNTIL THE DAY +ARIM #HRIS TOPHER 3IMPSON A YOUNG -USLIM MAN KNOCKS ON HER DOOR 4HE STORY CENTRES ON HER STRUG GLE WITH TEMPTATION AND SELF IDEN TITY AGAINST THE BACKGROUND OF POST "RITAIN WITH A RISE IN @)S
LAMOPHOBIA COMPOUNDING AN @US VERSUS THEM MENTALITY AND LINKING TO THE STORY OF THE TWO YOUNG PEO PLE AGAINST THE WORLD 4HE PLOT IS SLOW IN PARTS BUT BUILDS TO AN EMOTIONALLY CHARGED ENDING 4HE USE OF mASHBACKS TO .AZNEEN S CHILDHOOD IN "ANGLA DESH SERVES TO MAKE THE STORY MORE REALISTIC AND GRITTY /THER SCENES WILL REPULSE VIEWERS n FOR EXAMPLE WHEN .AZNEEN IS LYING UNDER HER FAT HUSBAND UTTERLY DISCONNECTED TO HIS SEXUAL ADVANCES n BUT OVER ALL THE BOOK TRANSLATES WELL TO THE SCREEN WITH SOME VERY GOOD ACTING AND BITTERSWEET STORYLINES %MMELINE 3AUNDERS
#OMPETITIONS
$ENZEL 7ASHINGTON AND 2USSELL #ROWE IN A 2IDLEY 3COTT lLM ABOUT GANSTERS .EED WE SAY MORE
! TRULY TRULY POOR COMEDY $ANE #OOK FALLS mAT LIKE THE JOKES IN THIS lLM $ON T BE DISTRACED BY *ESSICA !LBA STAY AWAY
%AGLE 6S 3HARK 3TARRING ,OREN (ORSELY AND &LIGHT OF THE #ON CHORDS *ERMAINE #LEMENT %AGLE 6S 3HARK IS THE STORY OF ,ILY AN AWKWARD FAST FOOD WAITRESS EXCLUDED BECAUSE SHE SIMPLY DOESN T lT IN 4HE OBJECT OF ,ILY S AFFECTIONS *ARROD IS MORE INTERESTED IN HER PRETTY WORKMATE 3O WHEN *ARROD HEADS HOME ON A MISSION OF REVENGE LOVESTRUCK ,ILY FOLLOWS HIM 4O BE IN WITH A CHANCE TO WIN A COPY OF THE lLM ON $6$ JUST ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTION
1 )N WHICH COUNTRY IS %AGLE 6S 3HARK SET 3END YOUR ANSWERS TO CONCRETE lLM UEA AC UK WITH h%AGLE 6S 3HARK COMPETITIONv IN THE TITLE 4HE DEADLINE FOR ALL ENTRIES IS
%ARTHSEA &ROM THE CREATORS OF 3PIRITED !WAY COMES 4ALES &ROM %ARTHSEA 'ORO -IYAZAKI S DIRECTORIAL DE BUT )T TELLS THE STORY OF 'ED THE MOST POWER FUL WIZARD IN %ARTHSEA AND HIS ATTEMPTS TO PROTECT 0RINCE !RREN FROM THE EVIL MACHINA TIONS OF RIVAL WIZARD #OB 4O BE IN WITH A CHANCE TO ONE OF FOUR COPIES OF 4ALES FROM %ARTHSEA ON $6$ ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTION
1 7HICH ACTOR VOICES 'ED IN THE %NGLISH VERSION OF 4ALES FROM %ARTHSEA 3END YOUR ANSWERS TO CONCRETE lLM UEA AC UK WITH h%ARTHSEA COM PETITION IN THE TITLE 4HE DEADLINE FOR ALL ENTRIES IS
4O CELEBRATE THE RELEASE OF -EET 4HE 3PARTANS ON -ARCH ST WE HAVE lVE LIMITED EDITION h!RE 9OU 3PARTAN %NOUGH v 4 SHIRTS TO GIVE AWAY 4O BE IN WITH A CHANCE OF WINNING ANSWER THE FOL LOWING QUESTION 1 "RITISH ACTOR 3EAN -AGUIRE PLAYS ,EONIDAS IN -EET 4HE 3PARTANS "UT WHAT LONG RUNNING SOAP DID HE STAR IN DURING THE S
7ITH 3EAN 0ENN S PRECISION DIREC TION AND %MILE (IRSCH S BRILLIANTLY CRAFTED TURN AS #HRIS -C#ANDLESS )NTO 4HE 7ILD IS A BEAUTIFUL TALE OF SELF DISCOVERY AND IS FULL OF HEART /NE THING S FOR SURE (IRSCH IS ON HIS WAY TO BECOMING A GREAT ACTOR
3END YOUR ANSWERS TO CONCRETE lLM UEA AC UK WITH h3PARTAN COMPETI TIONv IN THE TITLE 4HE DEADLINE FOR ALL ENTRIES IS TH #ENTURY &OX ARE RUNNING A NATION AL COMPETITION TITLED h!RE 9OU 3PARTAN %NOUGH v 7ELL IT S TIME TO lND OUT BY MAKING YOUR VERY OWN LEATHER CLAD 3PAR TAN MOVIE 5SING THE lLM AS INSPIRATION TEST YOUR TRUE 3PARTAN NESS AND SEE IF YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH TO JOIN THE RANKS OF THE HEROIC ,EONIDAS #HECK OUT THE VIDEOS THAT HAVE ALREADY BEEN PUT UP ON WWW YOUTUBE COM SPARTANS 4HE h!RE 9OU 3PARTAN ENOUGH v TEAM ARE GOING OUT IN SEARCH OF THE SILLIEST 3PARTANS IN THE 5+ n AND ARE COMING TO .ORWICH ON 4UESDAY TH -ARCH #HECK ONLINE FOR DETAILS
4HOUGH ITS NICE TO SEE +EVIN #OST NER BACK ON THE SCREEN -R "ROOKS FAILS TO DELIVER #OSTNER IS AN INTER ESTING CHOICE FOR A SERIAL KILLER AND HE SOMEWHAT SLIPS INTO THE ROLE COMFORTABLY BUT ONLY WITH THE SUP PORT OF 7ILLIAM (URT $EMI -OORE IS ABOUT AS CONVINCING AS A ROCK
%ASTER &ILM 0REVIEW WEDDING AND ALONG WITH NEWSPAPER REPORT ER *AMES -ARSDEN SHE GRADUALLY LEARNS HOW TO STEP OUT FROM THE SHADOWS h) HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A HUGE ROMANTIC COM EDY FAN v (EIGL TELLS US
$RESSES $IR !NNE &LETCHER
h!FTER BEING IN THE BUSI NESS FOR ABOUT SEVENTEEN YEARS IT IS A DREAM COME TRUE TO TAKE THE LEADING ROLE ) REALLY LOVED THE SCRIPT EACH OF THE CHARAC TERS ARE HONESTLY mAWED ) LOVED THE FACT THAT THEY AREN T ALL SHINY AND PERFECT ALL THE TIME v h) LOVED HER ;*ANE S= PSYCHOLOGY IT MADE SENSE TO ME WHY SHE MADE THE DECISIONS SHE DID (ER REASONS FOR HER ACTIONS PLAYING IT SAFE MAK ING EXCUSES NOT TO TAKE RISKS AND TO
3ET IN .EW 9ORK #ITY *ANE (EIGL IS A COMPLETELY SELmESS WOM AN WHO HAS MADE IT HER MISSION TO MAKE EVERYONE AROUND HER HAPPY 7HEN IT COMES TO WEDDINGS *ANE IS A COMPLETE EXPERT AT BEING THE PER FECT BRIDESMAID 3HE IS ORGANISED PUNCTUAL HAS AMAZING WEDDING CAKE CONTACTS AND HAS KEPT ALL OF HER
PREVIOUS BRIDES MAID DRESSES A WHOPPING IN HER WARDROBE 7ITH THE ARRIVAL OF HER YOUNGER SISTER 4ESS -ALIN !KERMAN *ANE S LOYALTY IS PUSHED TO THE MAX WHEN HER SISTER PURSUES HER BOSS AND LOVE OF HER LIFE 'EORGE %DWARD "URNS *ANE IS ENLISTED TO PLAN YET ANOTHER
2YAN 'OSLING STARS AS ,ARS ,IND STROM AN EXTREMELY SHY YOUNG MAN WHO DESPITE BEING SOCIALLY AWK WARD IS POPULAR IN HIS SMALL TOWN )NNOCENTLY DELUDED ,ARS PURCHASES A SEX DOLL ONLINE AND BELIEVING IT TO BE A REAL GIRL HE BRINGS HER HOME TO MEET HIS BROTHER 'US 0AUL 3CHNEI DER AND HIS PREGNANT SISTER IN LAW +ARIN %MILY -ORTIMER $ESPITE CONCERNS A LOCAL DOCTOR NOTES THAT
SINCE ,ARS OTHERWISE HAS A HIGHLY FUNCTIONAL PERSONALITY THAT THREATENS NO ONE THIS DELUSION IS A SIGN THAT HE IS WORKING THROUGH SOME PERSON AL ISSUES AND HIS LOVED ONES SHOULD PLAY ALONG IN THE MEANTIME 7ITH SUCH A STRANGE CONCEPT IT S A SIGN OF GOOD WRITING AND DIRECTING THAT THE lLM DOESN T GO OFF THE RAILS FROM THE GET GO ,ARS AND THE 2EAL 'IRL BEGINS AS AN INTERESTING lLM HOW EVER AS IT GOES ON YOU CAN T HELP BUT FEEL WHAT STARTED OFF AS A SWEET AND SLIGHTLY BIZARRE PLOT FALTERS AT THE LAST
HURDLE AS IT GETS TAKEN TOO FAR INTO THE LAND OF THE RIDICULOUS 4HE IDEA THAT A COMMUNITY WOULD EMBRACE ,ARS DOLL "IANCA AS A REAL PERSON IS SOMEWHAT BELIEVABLE IN THE WORLD CREATED n BUT THAT THEY WOULD ACTU ALLY HAVE A FUNERAL FOR HER IS ABSURD 4HIS lNAL PLOT POINT TAINTS THE WHOLE lLM 2YAN 'OSLING S TENDER PERFORM ANCE WINS YOU OVER AND IT ALONE SAVES THE lLM FROM THE TWO STAR TREATMENT (E IS A TRULY GIFTED ACTOR WHO CAN DELICATELY TURN THE AUDIENCE FROM
DISCONTENT TO GENTLE DELIGHT IN WHAT IS SHOWN ON THE SCREEN -ORTIMER AND 3CHNEIDER BALANCE THE lLM WELL BRINGING A TOUCH OF HUMANITY TO ,ARS AWKWARDNESS )F YOU CAN SWITCH OFF THE CYNIC IN YOU THEN ,ARS AND THE 2EAL 'IRL IS WORTH A GANDER n IF NOT FOR 'OSLING THEN FOR 'ILLESPIE S APTITUDE IN CREAT ING KIND HEARTED AND WARM SCENES )F YOU CAN T THIS lLM WILL BE JUST A STEP TOO FAR INTO THE DELUSION .ATASHA +UNDAIKER
+ATHERINE (EIGL WAS RECENTLY CROWNED AS THE ROMANTIC COMEDY QUEEN FOLLOWING THE PHENOMENAL SUCCESS OF +NOCKED 5P AND SHE IS ABOUT TO DEFEND HER TITLE WITH THE IMMINENT RELEASE OF DRESSES
$IR #RAIG 'ILLESPIE
BECOME THE HERO IN OTHER S PEOPLE S LIVES 3HE REMINDS ME OF HOW ) WAS IN MY EARLY S v DRESSES MARKS (EIGL S lRST MAJOR LEADING ROLE A POSITION UN DOUBTEDLY DUE TO HER SUCCESS IN THE HIT 46 SHOW 'REY S !NATOMY AND HER lLM +NOCKED 5P %VEN THOUGH SHE S BEEN ON SCREENS FOR WELL OVER A DECADE (EIGL REALLY FELT THE PRESSURE OF TAKING THE HELM AND APPEARING IN ALMOST EVERY SCENE OF THE lLM h)T WAS VERY OVERWHELMING ) DIDN T QUITE REALISE THE NUMBER OF HOURS ) WOULD BE WORKING WHEN WE STARTED ) HAD TO LEARN TO MANAGE MY DOWN TIME TO KEEP UP WITH IT ALL ) WANTED TO KEEP THE PERFORMANCE FRESH HON EST AND REAL v $RESSES IS A HIGHLY ORIGINAL lLM WHICH ADDS A NEW DIMENSION TO THE TERM @ROMANTIC COMEDY 4HE CHARACTERISATION SETS THIS lLM APART FROM OTHER COMEDIES THE SCENES BETWEEN *ANE AND HER SISTER IN PAR TICULAR ARE REMINISCENT OF MANY REAL SIBLING RELATIONSHIPS (EIGL IS FAN TASTIC IN THE LEADING ROLE AND HER CHEMISTRY WITH *AMES -ARSDEN IS ELECTRIC 4HIS MOVIE IS THE PERFECT BLEND OF LOVE LIFE AND LAUGHS WITH A LITTLE SPRINKLE OF WEDDING CONFETTI ON TOP +AYLEIGH -OORE
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)N THIS 3PANISH SUPERNATURAL THRILLER IN THE STYLE OF 4HE /THERS A WOMAN AND HER FAMILY MOVE INTO HER CHILD HOOD HOME 4HINGS START GETTING WEIRD WITH THE APPEARANCE OF A CREEPY KID IN A MASK AND SOME SECRETS FROM THE ORPHANAGE S PAST ARE REVEALED 0RODUCED BY 'UILLERMO $EL 4ORO THE MAN BEHIND 0AN S ,ABYRINTH
4HREE HIGH SCHOOL GEEKS HIRE DOWN AND OUT BODYGUARD $RILLBIT 4AYLOR PLAYED BY /WEN 7ILSON TO PROTECT THEM FROM A BULLY )N THIS COMEDY $RILLBIT INlLTRATES THEIR SCHOOL POS ING AS A TEACHER WHILE ALSO TEACHING THE KIDS HOW TO lGHT #O WRITTEN BY 3ETH 2OGEN OF +NOCKED 5P AND 3UPER BAD FAME
"RITISH COMEDY FROM 'ARTH *ENNINGS THE DIRECTOR OF 4HE (ITCHHIKER S 'UIDE TO THE 'ALAXY 3CHOOLMATES 7ILL AND ,EE BECOME BEST FRIENDS AFTER THEY MAKE AN ACTION PACKED HOME MOVIE (OWEVER 7ILL S STRICTLY RELIGIOUS FAM ILY AND THEIR NEW FOUND POPULARITY AT SCHOOL THREATEN TO TEAR THE TWO APART
)N THIS SLICK CRIME THRILLER A GROUP OF UNIVERSITY MATHS GENIUSES USE AN IN TRICATE SYSTEM OF CARD COUNTING TO WIN MILLIONS IN ,AS 6EGAS 4HE SCAM SOON GETS OUT OF CONTROL THROUGH A SERIES OF DOUBLE CROSSES )NSPIRED BY ACTUAL EVENTS AND STARRING +EVIN 3PACEY AND ,AURENCE &ISHBURNE
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+OTAKU &OR ITS READERS +OTAKU COM IS MORE THAN JUST A WEBSITE +OTAKU IS A WAY OF LIFE &OR A GAMERS BLOG THAT MAKES A FULL BLOWN WEEKLY FEATURE OUT OF BANNING COMMENTATORS YOU D BE SURPRISED TO lND THAT THERE IS ANYONE LEFT TO READ #RECENTE "ASHCRAFT AND THE REST OF THE TEAM S OFF THE WALL COMMENTARY ON THE WORLD OF VIDEOGAME CULTURE (OW MANY OTHER WEBSITES HAVE DRIVEN OUTSPOKEN @LAWYER *ACK 4HOMPSON TO THREATEN LEGAL ACTION AGAINST BOTH ITS WRITERS AND READERS OR BEEN BLACKBALLED AND SUBSEQUENTLY FORGIVEN BY GIANTS LIKE 3ONY (OWEVER AMIDST THE CONTROVERSY OF SOME OF +OTAKU S MORE SCANDALOUS MOMENTS CAN BE
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4HE 5+ S @(IGH 3PEED "ROADBAND )N A STUDY COMMISSIONED BY /FTEL FOUND THAT ONLY OF 5+ HOUSEHOLDS HAD ACCESS TO HIGH SPEED BROADBAND THAT NUMBER HAS NOW RISEN TO A WHOPPING OF "RITISH HOUSEHOLDS 4HE GROWTH OF INTERNET SPEEDS IN THE PAST DECADE HAS BEEN INCREDIBLE FUELLED BY OUR DESIRE FOR EVER INCREASING AMOUNTS OF VIDEO MUSIC AND GENERAL INFORMATION FROM THE INTERNET (OWEVER STRIP ASIDE THIS MONUMENTAL GROWTH AND A VERY DIFFERENT STORY EMERGES "RITAIN IS CURRENTLY THE SECOND MOST EXPENSIVE PLACE IN %UROPE FOR BROADBAND WITH THE AVERAGE HOUSEHOLD PAYING a PER -" S AND WHILE THE TOP "4 SPEED OF MB MAY SOUND FAST THE FASTER INTERNET PACKAGES AVAILABLE ON THE CONTINENT RANGE FROM MB S TO MB S 4HE AVERAGE *APANESE INTERNET CONNECTION IS AROUND -" S 4HE REASON FOR THIS IS THE SHEER LACK OF
FOUND A WEALTH OF ENTERTAINING INFORMATIVE AND LITERALLY UP TO THE MINUTE UPDATES ON THE VIDEOGAME INDUSTRIES OF %UROPE *APAN AND THE 53 SPRINKLED WITH A DASH OF RISQUÏ !KIHABARA NERD ORIENTATED MARKETING MATERIAL THROWN IN FOR GOOD FUN 4HE SCOPE OF EACH INDIVIDUAL WRITER S CONTRIBUTIONS TO THE SITE LENDS A GREAT SENSE OF BELONGING AND TOGETHERNESS TO AN OTHERWISE FORMULAIC BLOG )N PARTICULAR AMONGST ALL THE HUMOUR SCANDAL AND CYNICISM THE TWO "RIANS NIGHT AND DAY NOTES OCCASIONALLY OPEN UP A TOUCHING SIDE TO THEIR PERSONAL LIVES OFFERING A VERY DIFFERENT WAY OF UNITING GAMERS ACROSS THE WORLD -IKE -OORE
INVESTMENT IN OUR INFORMATION NETWORKS OVER THE PAST TEN YEARS "RITISH 4ELECOM IN PARTICULAR HAS BEEN CRITICISED FOR IT S RELUCTANCE TO INVEST IN ITS !$3, NETWORK WHICH DOESN T BODE WELL CONSIDERING THE VOLUME OF "RITISH HOUSEHOLDS CURRENTLY USING THEIR INTERNET PACKAGES 5NTIL THE GOVERNMENT START PUTTING REAL PRESSURE ON THESE COMPANIES TO INVEST WE GAMERS MAY lND OURSELVES LAGGING BEHIND ON OUR HEADSHOTS FOR A WHILE YET 0AUL "YGRAVE
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.ORFOLK POULTRY COMPANY @&E ON THE PERIODIC TABLE OF ELEMENTS "UILDING IN WHICH THE 6ICE #HANCELLOR WORKS 4RENCH SURROUNDING A CASTLE 4HE NEW 5%! LOGO USES A x FONT #ANYON 1UIET TIME 0IECE OF JEWELLERY WORN ON ONE S lNGER 0LACE FOR WILDLIFE AT A lELD S EDGE #ITY HOUSING THE ,OUVRE ,AW SPECIlC TO A PROVINCE !DJECTIVE DESCRIBING GESTURES OF LOVE ,ONDON HOTEL OVERLOOKING 'REEN 0ARK "ROUGHT FORWARD AHEAD OF ITS TIME
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