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4HIS ISSUE ) TAKE ANOTHER STANCE THAT WILL MAKE MANY READERS THROW THIS PAGE IN THE BIN BY DE CLARING MY LOVE FOR THAT MOST HATED OF .ORWICH RIVALS )PSWICH 4OWN 7HEN ) lRST CAME HERE ) THOUGHT THAT BEING AN )PSWICH SUPPORTER LIVING IN .ORWICH WOULD BE DIFlCULT (OWEVER ) VE FOUND IT BRILLIANT TO LIVE SOMEWHERE WHERE ) CAN WATCH LOCAL DERBIES IN THE 5NION "AR WITH SO MANY OTHER SUPPORTERS OF BOTH TEAMS IN AN ATMOSPHERE OF FRIENDLY RIVALRY ,AST WEEKEND S DERBY WAS NO EXCEPTION AS BOTH TEAM S FANS DESCENDED ON THE "AR TO WATCH A TENSE BUT THOROUGHLY ENTERTAINING MATCH $ESPITE A NUMBER OF QUESTIONABLE DE CISIONS BY THE REFEREE INCLUDING ALLOWING AN )PSWICH GOAL TO COUNT EVEN THOUGH THE BALL HAD BLATANTLY GONE OUT OF PLAY IT WAS AN AMAZING GAME WITH THE SCORE LINE REmECTIVE OF THE MATCH AS A WHOLE !LTHOUGH THE GAME EXTENDS )PSWICH S UNBEATEN RUN TO SEVEN GAMES IT ALSO CONlRMS THE FACT THAT )PSWICH CANNOT WIN AWAY )T REMAINS TO BE SEEN IF THAT CAN BE TURNED AROUND RATHER LIKE WHETHER 'LENN 2OEDER CAN CHANGE WOEFUL .ORWICH S FORTUNES !NYWAY ) HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS ISSUE THERE S A VERITABLE SMORGASBORD OF QUALITY ON OUR PAGES RATHER LIKE THE )PSWICH 4OWN DRESSING ROOM 5NTIL NEXT TIME
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NE OF THIS SEASON S CAT WALK COLOURS IS THE UN MISS ABLE SHADE OF ORANGE YET THERE S NO DENYING THAT WITH THE CURRENT POLITICAL AND SO CIAL CLIMATE GREEN HAS BEEN FORCED ONTO THE AGENDA OF THE FASHION WORLD )T SEEMS IT S TIME FOR FASHION LEADERS AND FOLLOWERS ALL OVER THE WORLD TO LET THEIR CONSCIENCE LEAD THEM IN PLACE OF THEIR PURSES *ESSICA (AMILTON GUIDES US IN
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THE TERRITORY OCCUPIED IN 7ESTERN GOVERNMENTS SUPPORTED )SRAEL BUT ONE EASY WAY FOR YOUNG PEOPLE TO DEMONSTRATE THEIR SUP PORT OR SYMPATHY FOR THE 0ALESTINIANS WAS TO BUY AND WEAR A +EFlYEH USU ALLY ROUND THE SHOULDERS 4HEY WERE ONLY AVAILABLE FROM .53 CONFERENCES OR OF COURSE FROM THE OCCU PIED TERRITORIES AND WERE THE THING TO WEAR AT DEM OS )N ADDITION TO BEING A POLITICAL STATEMENT IT LOOKED DAMN COOL 4HE RECENT REVIVAL IN WEARERS IS MORE TO DO WITH FASHION THAN INCREASED
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3TEP 5SING A COM B FOLD IN TH EH CROWN IN SE CTIONS AND SE AIR FROM THE EAR TO THE CURE WITH CU 2EPEAT ON TO RBY GRIPS P OF HEAD
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7INTER #OATS
!RTS REVIEW THE "OOKER S BOOKS ,LOYD *ONES -ISTER 0IP )F YOU VE COME ACROSS /NE "IG $AMN 0UZZLER BY *OHN (ARDING THE PLOT OF ,LOYD S *ONES -ISTER 0IP MAY SEEM FAMILIAR A CLASSIC TEXT OF %NGLISH LITERATURE INTRODUCED TO A REMOTE 0ACIlC ISLAND CIVILISATION EXPOSING THE CHASMS BETWEEN @CIVILISED AND @PRIMITIVE CULTURE (OWEVER WHERE (ARDING DRAMA TISES THE DAMAGE WROUGHT ON A PRELITERATE SOCIETY BY THE INVASION OF 7ESTERN #APITAL ISM *ONES EXPLORES THE CONSEQUENCES OF HOW IN THE MIDST OF A BRUTAL CIVIL WAR LIT ERATURE HAS THE POWER TO DISPLACE TO TEACH A PERSON TO INHABIT THEIR IMAGINATION -ATILDA IS OUR NARRATOR GROWING UP S "OUGAINVILLE AN ISLAND IN THE 3OUTH 0ACIlC !S HER VILLAGE QUAKES NERVOUSLY AMID THE CONmICT BETWEEN REBEL FORCES AND THE 0APUA .EW 'UINEA GOVERNMENT ARMY -ATILDA IS DISTRACTED BY THE INTERVENTION OF -R 7ATTS A WHITE IMMIGRANT WHO TAKES IT UPON HIMSELF TO REKINDLE THE "OUGAINVILLE CHILDREN S NEGLECTED EDUCATION 4HE SOURCE OF THE CURRICULUM IS #HARLES $ICKENS S 'REAT %XPECTATIONS -ATILDA LEARNS TO ESCAPE THE SENSE OF INEVITABILITY THAT HAUNTS HER VILLAGE BY FOLLOWING -R 0IP IN HIS JOURNEY THROUGH TH CENTURY %NGLAND *ONES STRUCTURES HIS STORY AROUND THE TENSIONS THAT ARISE FROM THE COLLECTION AND CULTIVATION OF KNOWLEDGE IN AN INFRASTRUC TURE FOCUSED ON SURVIVAL (E DEMONSTRATES HOW THE SOCIAL FABRIC OF A COMMUNITY RE LIES ON COMMUNICATION -ATILDA STRUGGLES TO EXPLAIN THE POWER OF LITERATURE TO HER
)NDRA 3INHA !NIMAL S 0EOPLE )NDRA 3INHA WAS BORN IN #OLABA AND SPENT HIS CHILDHOOD IN VARIOUS CITIES IN )NDIA BE FORE COMING TO %NGLAND TO STUDY AT #AM BRIDGE (E HAS WORKED AS A COPYWRITER FOR WHICH HE WON VARIOUS AWARDS AND WIDE SPREAD ACCLAIM (E HAS ALSO TRANSLATED SEVER AL WORKS FROM THE ANCIENT 3ANSKRIT TO BE IN CLUDED IN HIS BOOKS ON 4ANTRA AND THE +AMA 3UTRA ALTHOUGH THIS MAY SOUND TANTALISING 3INHA CALLS ONE OF THESE hA DRY READv BECAUSE hIT DEBUNKS REPORTS OF ORGIES AND SEXUAL MIS CHIEFv /VER THE PAST SEVERAL YEARS HE HAS WRITTEN 4HE #YBERGYPSIES A TREATMENT OF THE INTERNET IN ITS EARLIEST FORM AS A DRUG INTO WHICH HE FOUND HIMSELF WITH DRAWING AT THE EXPENSE OF HIS RELATIONSHIPS AND CONVIC TIONS AND 4HE $EATH OF -R ,OVE A STORY OF A DESPAIRING )N DIAN EXPATRIATE IN "RITAIN STRUG GLING WITH HIS
)AN -C%WAN /N #HESIL "EACH FUNDAMENTALIST MOTHER WHO DESPISES -R 7ATTS AS A HEATHEN 4HE CHILDREN COLLECTIVE LY USE THEIR EDUCATION ABOUT AN ALIEN WORLD TO ESCAPE THE TERROR OF THEIR EVERYDAY LIFE 4HE SECRETS HELD BY -ATILDA HER MOTHER AND -R 7ATTS SEAL THE FATE OF THE VILLAGE AS THE GOVERNMENT FORCES APPROACH 'REAT %XPECTATIONS SUCCEEDS IN DISTANCING THE IN NOCENT FROM THE MILITARY CONmICT BUT IT IS THEIR VERY NAIVETY THAT ENDANGERS THEM 4HE QUESTION FOR THE READER IS WHETHER ESCAP ISM THOUGH $ICKENS PROVIDES A PROTECTIVE SHIELD FOR THE CHILDREN OR A DANGEROUS DE LUSION DISTANT FROM GRIM REALITY -ATILDA S TESTIMONY IS TOUCHINGLY ACUTE IN ITS INNOCENCE HONESTY AND FRANK LAN GUAGE HER PERSISTENT INTERROGATION OF -R 7ATTS ABOUT THE DISTANT REALM OF WHITE SO CIETY PUZZLING OVER WORDS LIKE @FROST AND @BENElCIARY IS EXTREMELY ENDEARING !T THE BEGINNING OF THE BOOK THE THREAT OF VIOLENCE PAROLES THE PERIMETER OF -ATIL DA S STORY BUT LIKE THE CREEPING VEGETATION THAT LEFT UNMAINTAINED @WOULD MARCH DOWN THE STEEP HILLSIDE AND BURY OUR VILLAGES IN mOWER AND VINE THE WAR SUDDENLY EMERGES FROM THE JUNGLE WREAKING DEVASTATING CON SEQUENCES FOR -ATILDA AND HER COMMUNITY 3IMULTANEOUSLY TRAGIC AND COMIC HEART WARMING AND POLITICALLY PROFOUND -ISTER 0IP EXPERTLY REVEALS THE FRIGHTENING EXPANSE OF HUMAN CHARACTER ITS WEAKNESSES AND ITS STRENGTHS ,YDIA (ARLEY
LOVE LIFE AND GRIEVING THE LOSS OF HIS MOTHER SET IN COUNTERPOINT AGAINST THE REAL STORY OF A PLAYBOY SHOT IN )NDIA IN ,IKE -R ,OVE 3INHA S THIRD NOVEL !NI MAL S 0EOPLE IS SET AGAINST A BACKDROP OF REAL TRAGEDY IN )NDIA 4HIS TIME IT IS THE "HOPAL DISASTER ONE OF THE WORST INDUSTRIAL CATASTROPHES EVER IN WHICH TONNES OF TOXIC GAS KILLED TENS OF THOUSANDS AND INJURED OVER A HUNDRED THOUSAND MORE 4HE NARRATOR OF THE NOVEL IS !NIMAL SO CALLED BECAUSE HIS SPINE HAS BEEN PETRIlED AND HE IS DOOMED TO WALK ON ALL FOURS LIKE A DOG ,URKING ON THE FRINGE OF HIS TALE IS @THAT NIGHT THE NIGHT OF THE DISASTER FROM WHICH HIS WHOLE COM MUNITY IS STILL RECOVERING (IS IS A TALE OF REDEMPTION THROUGH A RENEWED CONVICTION IN HIS LIFE AND HIS STATUS AS A REAL PERSON 3INHA S WRITING IS BRAVE FOR ITS DIRECTNESS AND ITS SENSITIVITY AND THE TEXTURE OF THE RELATION SHIPS IS WELL CRAFTED AND OFTEN POIGNANT )T CAN BE DIFlCULT HOWEVER TO GET PAST THE FACT THAT !NIMAL S COMBINATION OF &RENCH 5RDU SLANG AND LIBERAL PROFANITY IS THE RESULT OF AN UPPER MIDDLE CLASS #AMBRIDGE ALUMNUS AND NOT THE VOICE OF A REAL STREET URCHIN /NE REVIEWER OF 3INHA HAS SAID THAT HIS @REACH SLIGHTLY EXCEEDS HIS GRASP AND THIS IS SADLY THE CASE IN !NIMAL S 0EOPLE -AX 'ORDON
)AN -C%WAN IS ONE OF THE BETTER KNOWN AUTHORS AROUND AND THIS A MERE PAGE NOVELLA IS PROBABLY ONE OF THE MORE ACCES SIBLE BOOKS SHORTLISTED FOR THE -AN "OOKER 0RIZE THIS YEAR )T IS REFRESHING THAT THIS LIT TLE LITERARY GEM HAS BEEN APPRECIATED FOR ITS SIMPLICITY 4HIS IS THE STORY OF A YOUNG COUPLE %DWARD AND &LORENCE WHO HAVE JUST GOT MAR RIED AND WE JOIN THEM AT THE BEST PART THEIR WED DING NIGHT )N A HOTEL /N #HESIL "EACH 4HEY ARE BOTH VIRGINS WELL
IT IS SET IN AND THE NARRATIVE MOSTLY EXPLORES THE CREVICES OF THE TORTURED MINDS OF &LORENCE WHO IS REPULSED BY PHYSICAL IN TIMACY AND HER LONG SUFFERING HUSBAND %D WARD WHO LONGS FOR MUTUAL AFFECTION 4HE TIME SHIFTS THAT OCCUR TAKING THE READER IN SIDE DIFFERENT MOMENTS OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP AND PREVIOUSLY SINGLE LIVES BUILDING UP TO THE BIG WEDDING NIGHT MAKES THIS SEEM LIKE THE WORDY VERSION OF %TERNAL 3UNSHINE OF THE 3POTLESS -IND !NYONE WHO KNOWS -C%WAN S WRITING WILL APPRECIATE HIS PARTICULAR BRAND OF ESCAP ISM REALISTICALLY BEING ABLE TO TRANSPORT THE READER INTO ANOTHER PERSPECTIVE .OT EVERY ONE WHO KNOWS -C%WAN S WRITING HOWEVER WILL KNOW THAT HE WAS ON THE 3TOP 4HE 7AR #OALITION MARCH IN ,ONDON NO HE DIDN T JUST SAY HE WAS AND HE ALSO HAS A MILD OB SESSION WITH PENS REMARKING WISELY @)T S A GREAT AGE FOR PENS -ELISSA 9ORK
.ICOLA "ARKER $ARKMANS $ARKMANS IS A HUGE HISTORICAL NOVEL .OT HISTORICAL IN THE SENSE OF BEING SET IN THE PAST BUT IN THE SENSE THAT HISTORY LIVES ON EVERY PAGE 7ORD ORIGINS ANCESTRY INHER ITANCE THESE INmUENCES BUFFET THE CHARAC TERS THROUGHOUT )N $ARKMANS THE PAST IS NOT DISTANT IT IS A CONTINUAL PRESENCE )T CAN BE KNOCKED DOWN LOCKED IN A BOOK OR HIDDEN IN THE RECESSES OF MEMORY BUT IT HAS A HABIT OF RETURNING IN UNEXPECTED AND UNWELCOME PLACES (OWEVER THIS THEME IS SO WELL HAN DLED SO INTRICATELY TIED TO A BRISK FUNNY TALE THAT FOR LARGE STRETCHES OF THE BOOK YOU COULD BE FORGIVEN FOR FORGETTING THAT YOU ARE READING ANYTHING MORE THAN A NOVEL INTERWEAVING THE LIVES OF ECCENTRIC INDIVIDUALS AND THEIR STRANGE STORY IN THE TOWN OF !SHFORD +ENT THE DYSFUNCTION AL RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN A CARING YOUNG DRUG DEALER AND HIS HISTORY OBSESSED FA THER WHO FEARS CHANGE A 'ERMAN SECU RITY GUARD WHO SLIPS INTO MANIC PHASES A BRASH TEENAGE GIRL AND HER DUBIOUS FAM ILY A LOUD PERCEPTIVE DICE PLAYING +URD A DOG IN A RED CART A CAT WITH AN UNEX PLAINED BELL AND A PRECOCIOUS YOUNG BOY CALLED &LEET .ICOLA "ARKER IS A TALENTED WRITER DEFT LY WEAVING EXTENDED METAPHORS A JOUR NAL ITS PAGES mAPPING ON A CAR S AIR VENT IS SEEN AS AN INJURED BIRD AN IMAGE THAT IS EXPANDED FOR lVE LINES AS ITS OWNER CALMS IT AND h CARESSES ITS SOFT CHEST FEATHERSv ! MERE mUTTER WHEN MEASURED AGAINST THE lVE BREATHLESS PARAGRAPHS PILING IM AGE ON IMAGE AS A MANIPULATIVE MOTHER IS JOYFULLY COMPARED lRST TO CAROUSEL THEN TO A ,AS 6EGAS STYLE SHOW
,ANGUAGE IS AN IMPORTANT FACTOR IN THIS BOOK AND NOT JUST AS A TOOL OF DESCRIP TION 6ARIOUS CHARACTERS REGULARLY EXPLORE THE ORIGINS OF WORDS BOTH CONSCIOUSLY AND UNCONSCIOUSLY THE MISTAKEN USE OF -OGUL FOR -ONGOL LEADS TO AN INTERESTING DIVERSION INTO THE FACT THAT THE SOURCE OF THE WORLD MOGUL WAS ITS USE TO DESCRIBE THE RICH -ONGOLIAN CONQUERORS OF )NDIA 4HIS AWARENESS OF LANGUAGE IS ALSO USED TO GOOD EFFECT AS A SOURCE OF HU MOUR REACHING ITS HEIGHT IN A WITTY GRAVE YARD SCENE THAT BEARS MORE THAN A PASSING RESEMBLANCE TO (AMLET S EXCHANGE WITH THE GRAVE DIGGER 4HOUGH THIS IS A LARGE BOOK MORE THAN PAGES YOU NEVER FEEL BOGGED DOWN 7HEN YOU TURN THE LAST PAGE YOU WILL BE WISHING THERE WERE MORE 4HE LENGTH AL LOWS .ICOLA "ARKER TIME TO EXPLORE CHAR ACTERS IN DEPTH AND CONJURE UP INVENTIVE DESCRIPTIONS )T IS A TESTAMENT TO HER SKILL THAT SHE CAN ACHIEVE THIS WHILST STILL AL LOWING THE BOOK TO MOVE AT A PACE THAT KEEPS THE READER CONSTANTLY INTERESTED 4HE ONLY DISAPPOINTMENT IN THIS BOOK IS THE ENDING )T FEELS A LITTLE RUSHED AND CERTAINLY DOESN T TIE UP THE STORY IN A NEAT AND UNDERSTANDABLE WAY (OWEVER IF THIS ENCOURAGES A RE READING OF THE BOOK THEN IT IS REALLY NO BAD THING /VERALL THIS IS AN EXCELLENT AND HIGHLY IMAGINATIVE BOOK !T ONE POINT A CHAR ACTER IS DESCRIBED AS hPUSHING HIS EAR UP AGAINST THE PAST AND SENSING THE ANCIENT BREATH HELD WITHIN ITv AND THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT .ICOLA "ARKER S NOVEL DOES SO SUC CESSFULLY "EN 0ARKER
!NNE %NRIGHT 4HE 'ATHERING ,IKE THE FRONT COVER WOULD SUGGEST THE PLOT IS SUB CENTRED ON THE HEROINE S MEMORIES OF HER DECEASED RELATIVES A FEW OF WHOM SHE HAS NEVER MET )NSTEAD OF RECOLLECTIONS OF FOND MEMORIES HOWEVER THE READER IS GIVEN A MUCH MORE HONEST AND lERCELY INTELLIGENT PERSPECTIVE OF HER HISTORY 4HE NARRATOR IS NOT UNNERVED OR EMBARRASSED ABOUT ANY THING THERE IS A CONlDENCE AND COURAGE IN HER RECOLLECTIONS 7E ARE ALLOWED ONLY TIT BITS OF INFORMA TION WHICH WE HAVE TO PUT TOGETHER IN ORDER TO RESOLVE THE MYSTERY OF HER BROTHER S DEATH WHICH HAS LED TO @4HE 'ATHERING OF HER FAM ILY IN $UBLIN 4HE INTERESTING THING IS THAT EVEN THOUGH HER BROTHER WHO IS VERY DEAR TO HER DIES HER SENTIMENTS STILL LIE ELSEWHERE 4HIS IS SO MUCH SO THAT SHE IS NOT COMPLETELY OVERCOME WITH MOURNING AND LIFE STILL GOES ON FOR HER (ER HUSBAND MOTHER CHILDREN AND SIBLINGS SUCCESSFULLY ERASE THE BLUNT AND HARSH REALITY OF HER BROTHER S DEATH %NRIGHT HIGHLIGHTS THE FACT THAT THE FUNERAL AND DEATH IS JUST ONE BIG CEREMONY LIKE #HRISTMAS OR A BIRTHDAY PARTY %VEN THOUGH THE AIR IS TINGED WITH SADNESS THERE IS STILL A VERY MUNDANE REALITY !T TIMES 4HE 'ATHERING CONFUSES THE READER WITH ITS GOTHIC DESCRIPTIONS OF INTER ESTING BUT AT THE SAME TIME DISORIENTATING
-OHSIN (AMID 4HE 2ELUCTANT &UNDAMENTALIST )T TAKES A LOT OF BRAVERY TO HAVE YOUR NARRA TOR SAY HE REACTED TO THE ATTACKS ON THE 4WIN 4OWERS BY @SMILING "UT THAT S WHAT -OHSIN (AMID DOES IN 4HE 2ELUCTANT &UNDAMENTAL IST A DARING AND HIGHLY TOPICAL NOVEL )T IS NARRATED BY #HANGEZ A YOUNG 0AKISTANI MAN FROM A TRADITIONAL YET DECLINING FAM ILY (E TRAVELS TO !MERICA TO TAKE UP A PLACE AT 0RINCETON ACES HIS CLASSES AND GAINS A PRESTIGIOUS INTERNSHIP IN .EW 9ORK #ITY #HANGEZ BEGINS A TENTATIVE ROMANCE THERE WITH THE BEAUTIFUL TROUBLED %RICA "UT HIS PERCEPTIONS OF !MERICAN SOCIETY SHIFT AFTER THE NATION S REACTION TO 4HE NARRATIVE IS A MONOLOGUE DELIVERED BY #HANGEZ TO AN UNSPEAKING !MERICAN STRANGER ON A SULTRY NIGHT IN ,AHORE 0AKISTAN 4HE BARE BONES OF THE NOVEL MIRROR THE LIFE OF THE AUTHOR (AMID MOVED FROM ,A HORE TO STUDY AT 0RINCETON AND (ARVARD AND WORKED IN .EW 9ORK BEFORE RETURNING TO 0A KISTAN &ROM THERE HE WENT TO ,ONDON AND BEGAN HIS WRITING CAREER WITH -OTH 3MOKE 4HE FOLLOW UP STARTED TO TAKE SHAPE BUT HIS PROTAGONIST S DOUBTS ABOUT THE !MERICAN WAY OF LIFE TOOK A DRAMATIC NEW DIRECTION AFTER (AMID IS OBSESSED WITH MIRRORING #HANGEZ ESCAPES !MERICA PARTLY BECAUSE OF
AND NAÕVE RETELLINGS OF HUMOROUS VIOLENCE WITH SERIOUS UNDERTONES 7E ARE DISGUSTED AMUSED AND ASHAMED BY %NRIGHT S TRANS PARENT NARRATOR ! VERY THOUGHT PROVOKING AND SENTIMENTAL NOVEL 3UlYA 3HAHNAWAZ
THE OVERRIDING WAVE NATIONALISM AND NOS TALGIA THAT mOODS THE COUNTRY DURING THE 7AR ON 4ERROR YET #HANGEZ HIMSELF ADOPTS SIMILAR ATTITUDES ON RETURNING TO 0AKISTAN 4HE NOVEL INTRICATELY EXPLORES HYPOCRISY AND THE DANGERS OF EXTREMISM AND PERSON ALISING THE POLITICAL )N OUR CURRENT CLIMATE THESE ISSUES ARE WELL WORN BUT A 0AKISTANI POINT OF VIEW GIVES THEM A FASCINATING SPIN (OWEVER (AMID S USE OF SYMBOLISM CAN BE HEAVY HANDED !M %RICA S OBSESSION WITH THE PAST IS A PARTICULARLY CLUMSY EXAMPLE 4HESE ALLEGORICAL ELEMENTS MEAN THE ACTUAL STORY IS NOT FULLY mESHED OUT WHILE THE RELA TIONSHIP BETWEEN #HANGEZ AND %RICA BEGINS WITH A SENSUAL ENCOUNTER ON A 'REEK HOLI DAY IT QUICKLY BECOMES TWO DIMENSIONAL (AMID LIFTS #HANGEZ S TALE OUT OF BANALITY THROUGH THE CEASELESS MOMENTUM OF HIS NARRATOR S MONOLOGUE 4HE STORY IS QUIETLY TOLD BUT GATHERS TENSION AS WE QUESTION THE MOTIVES OF THE OMINOUS !MERICAN LISTENER AND OF #HANGEZ HIMSELF 4HIS IS AN AMBIGUOUS ISSUES lLLED NOVEL BUT EVEN WITH THE HEAVY SUBJECT MATTER IT S AN EASY READ 4HIS IS PARTLY DOWN TO THE mU IDITY AND PACING OF THE NARRATIVE VOICE BUT ALSO BECAUSE THE BOOK LACKS THE ACHE AND EDGE OF AN EMOTIONAL PUNCH 5LTIMATELY 4HE 2ELUCTANT &UNDAMENTALIST IS A NOVEL YOU CAN ADMIRE BUT NOT ONE YOU D LOVE 3ARAH #HRISTIE
! $AY IN THE ,IFE OF A 3TUDENT 3TEREOTYPE $EAR -Y3PACE ) SURFACED AT AM GRASPED AT MY CARELESSLY STREWN CLUTTER FOR A TRILBY AND PINSTRIPED WAISTCOAT TO HIDE THE RESIDUE OF LAST NIGHT S EXCURSION TO THE .!# TO SEE /BSCURITY )S -Y "ITCH AND WANDERED OFF IN THE GENERAL DIRECTION OF ,ECTURE 4HEATRE ) ARRIVED JUST IN TIME TO lND A COSY SPOT IN THE BACK LEFT HAND CORNER PRODUCED MY RE CYCLED NOTEPAPER AND VIGOROUSLY SHOOK MY FOUNTAIN PEN ) SPENT THE REMAINDER OF THE DAY PEERING THROUGH HAIR AT MY LECTURER THE STEADY DRIP OF INK FROM MY FRINGE PROVIDING MY ONLY DISTRACTION )T S %MERGENCY 3ERVICES NIGHT AT THE ,#2 AND ) DECIDE TO GO AS A NU RAVE lREMAN 4HEN ) COLOUR IN SEGMENTS OF MY HAIR WITH DESPERATE SCRUBBING OF HIGHLIGHTER PENS 4HE mUORESCENT TONES SET OFF THE STRIPES ON MY JACKET PERFECTLY WHICH ) LEAVE PARTLY OPEN TO REVEAL THE CAPITALISED TEXT ON MY T SHIRT BEARING THE LEGEND h',/734)#+3 v 4HE BARTENDER JUST NOTICED ME AT THE BAR HALF AN HOUR AFTER ) MEANDER OVER 4HE DUDE NEXT TO ME ORDERS PEAR CIDERS SO ) ORDER ) M THIRSTY IS ALL 3ORRY ) HAVEN T BLOGGED IN A WHILE ) HAVEN T ABANDONED YOU -Y3PACE YOUR -0 lLE SHARING AND MUSIC SECTIONS ARE THE BEST IT S JUST THAT &ACEBOOK IS LIKE ACTUALLY TALKING TO PEOPLE ,ATERZ -ELISSA 9ORK
5NTITLED
)F 7INTER %NDS
7HAT S LEFT OF WHAT S LEFT 7HO SAW THE MAELSTROM 3TANDS TO AS WE SLIP BACK TO HELL !ND WONDER WHY PEOPLE DON T COME
)F WINTER ENDS ) LL CRAWL OUT OF BED AND BATHE IN THE LIGHT WASH OFF THE STAGNANT ) LL HEAD ACROSS THE BORDER WITH MY OLDEST LOVE IN A DUSTY CONVERTIBLE OF FADED BLUE SINGING ODES TO THE ROAD TO BE CARRIED AWAY ON THE WIND
3ILENCE FALLS NOW AN ANNUAL 4HERE IS NOTHING MORE TO HEAR 4HEY RE SMALLER CHAPTERS YEARS AGO 7RITTEN IN BODIES AND FEAR 4HE SKY THE AIR THE GROUND THE SEA "LOOD SPAT ON HANDS (OLDING NEW REGRET !ND WITH NOTHING MORE TO SEE 7E FALL OUT AND THEN FORGET
7E LL SMILE LIKE NOBODY S LOOKING BECAUSE NOBODY S LOOKING 7E LL HOWL LIKE NOBODY S LISTENING BECAUSE NOBODY S LISTENING
"EYOND GLAZED EYES AND BEATING HEARTS -EN SCREAM AND SUFFER NO MORE !ND YET WHEN DISTANCE HORRORS START 7E ALWAYS GO TO WAR
)F WINTER ENDS ) LL PURIFY MY BLOOD AND WATCH MY GREYING HAGGARD FACE BLOOM AGAIN ) LL CALL MY OLDEST FRIEND AND SAY SORRY AND HOPE SHE LL KNOW WHY
!NON
0LEASE SEND IN YOUR WORDS PICTURES AND PROSE CONCRETE CREATIVE WRITING AC UK )NDEED
! .IGHT /UT
5NTITLED
4HE MORNING MIST IS RISING 7HILE WE RETURN FROM OUR JOURNEY 4HROUGH THE NIGHT #HEAPSKATE DRINKING CARRIED US !WAY 3HADOW PUPPETS EATING EACH OTHER 3TRUGGLING WITH THE 7ILD -AN /VER EXCESSIVE VOWELS 7ITH SUNBEAMS AND BIRDS 7E RETURN TO OUR 2EALITY
! #ALIBAN SITS ON THE CHEST OF THIS GOVERNMENT ,IKE THE GARGOYLE OUT OF THAT PAINTING BY &USELI /IL THICK BLOOD FALLS ON THE RUBBLE OF 4HE LAND THAT ONCE KNEW %DEN !ND WE HAVE THE KNIFE DEEP IN #ALIBAN S CHEST NOW 4O PULL OUT WOULD KILL HIM (E DIES IF WE STAY ENTRENCHED -IRANDA DARLING YOU SMELL LIKE 9ERMA 9OU RE HUNGRY FOR LOVE ) KNOW "UT YOU VE GOING TO BE A BONE DRY MARTYR /NCE AGAIN TILL THAT DAY AFTER $AMNATION 7HEN THE LION HEADED GUNS WILL CEASE ,ET NO CHILD BE BORN WHILE THE CURSES OF A FAR DISTANT WAR 2ESOUND WITHIN US LIKE A BLOOD GUILT (OW MANY BODIES MUST LIE IN "ASRA 4ILL WE ACKNOWLEDGE THIS THING OF DARKNESS AS OUR OWN
'LORIA &ARIENBRUCK
-USEUM 3TREET 7E TOOK THE MUSEUM TO THE STREET !ND LIFE OVER SPILLED ONTO OUR FEET !S WE SETTLED TRANQUIL AT %LM (ILL 4HE COLLECTIVE SWARMED AND WE WERE ALL lLLED "Y THE POSSIBILITIES YET DISCOVERED OR OVERTURNED !ND LUST BECAME LOVE BUT SET TO SLOW BURN !ND AS THE DIMINUTIVE DELVED AND DROVE 7HILST THE COLOSSAL CAME THRASHING AND OVERTURNED 'ATES HELD TIGHTLY SHUT %XPECTATIONS KEPT CLOSELY HELD .EVER PRESUMED OR EXHALED 5NTIL THE VOIDS WERE DISCOVERED IN THE CRESCENT OF A PALIMPSEST !S THE MARSHALS SWARMS IN THEIR 3UNDAY BEST
!ND SAID 7E ARE THE OFlCERS OF THE AVANT GARDE 7E COMPOSE SOUNDSCAPES OUT OF LARD !ND PLACE THEM BACK INTO THE ETHER 7HERE LIGHT IS BRIGHTER AND THE WORLD CAN SET 4HE NIGHT IS BLIND BUT FOR THE (ALLOWEEN REQUEST 3UBMISSION A KISS WITHOUT THE VISION OF THE DEAD 4HE LOVE THAT LIVES IN MEMORIALS KEPT (IDDEN "ETWEEN $EREHAM 2OAD AND %ARLHAM S VOID 4HE CHOICE IS YOURS n "UT DO YOU DEPLOY .O NOT YET
!ND SHE LL HOLD MY SHAKING HAND AND UNDERSTAND IT ALL EVEN WHEN MY EYES GROW HOLLOW AS THEY TRY TO CLAW THEIR WAY BACK INSIDE ME 3HE LL CHASE THEM AWAY 4HEN WE LL LAUGH LIKE WE RE NOT SCARED BECAUSE WE RE NOT SCARED 7E LL LAUGH LIKE NO ONE ELSE KNOWS BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE KNOWS ) LL THROW MY OLD POCKETWATCH INTO THE SEA THEN SLEEP ON THE BEACH UNTROUBLED WITHOUT TAUNTING EYES IN MY DREAM WARP 7ITHOUT A CLAMMY NIGHT IN SHAME AND THE TRAP OF MONOTONY
*OSEPH 'IBSON
7ITHOUT TERRORIST lGMENTS HAUNTING
4HE -ISCHIEF
7ITHOUT THE TERRIBLE TRILL OF CONCERNED WELL WISHERS ALL WITH THEIR OWN EMPTY AIMS
2ESTING SHOELESS BESIDE AN OPEN lRE GLOWING WITH YESTERDAY S NEWS SHE SQUEEZES RIBBONS OF HAIR WITH HER SCARF AND KISSES THE EDGE OF A PINT GLASS
7ITHOUT THE WINDOW AT THE FOOT OF MY BED WHICH TAKES BUT NEVER GIVES 7ITHOUT MY MEDICINE WHICH RUINS MY BODY
! MAN IS RESTING HIS PAPER ON A DISUSED ASHTRAY HIS MOUTH DRAWN INTO IMPATIENT / S !S HE SMOKES THE ASH FALLS SCATTERING OVER THE TONGUES OF HIS BROGUES
7ITHOUT THEIR MEDICINE WHICH RUINS MY MIND
4HE MAN IS LIKE THOSE MEN WHO REALLY LISTENED TO THE 3EX 0ISTOLS IN THE 3EVENTIES WHO HAVE @.EW 2OSE TATTOOED AND FADING ACROSS THEIR KNUCKLES
7ITHOUT BEING TRAPPED AND POSSESSED ) LL THROW IT OFF
7ITHOUT THE SOUR TASTE OF HATE THE NEXT MORNING
!NON
4HE SMOKING MAN LOOKS UP FROM HIS DRINKLESS TABLE AT THE DAMP GIRL HER BOOTS TUCKED BENEATH THE CHIMNEY AND HE PRESSES HIS LEFT EYE ELOQUENTLY INTO A WINK
+ATHERINE &ORD
) LL STRIP MYSELF BARE AND SLEEVELESS !NON
4HE 0ASSING OF ,EGEND !NDY *ONES LAMENTS THE END OF 4HE 3OPRANOS AND THE END OF AN ERA
4
HE 3OPRANOS DIED ON TH /CTO BER 4HE SHOW DIED SUDDENLY AT PM AFTER SEEMING EX TREMELY HEALTHY FOR ALL OF ITS LAST FEW MONTHS OF LIFE -ANY OF ITS FRIENDS AND WELL WISHERS ALTHOUGH SADDENED BY THE SHOW S SUDDEN DEMISE EXPRESSED THE OPINION THAT IT WAS lTTING THAT SUCH AN IM PORTANT AND VISIONARY SHOW SHOULD DIE AT THE HEIGHT OF ITS CREATIVE ABILITIES 4HE SHOW WAS BORN IN AND WAS FA THERED BY $AVID #HASE WHO ORIGINALLY CON CEIVED THE SHOW AS A WAY OF WRITING ABOUT HIS OWN FAMILY DYNAMIC (E QUICKLY REALISED HOWEVER THAT FEW PEOPLE WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT A STRUGGLING 46 EXECUTIVE AND HIS PROB LEMATIC MOTHER AND THUS 4HE 3OPRANOS WAS BORN 7ITH THE CREATION OF 4ONY 3OPRANO A MOBSTER WHO IS EXPERIENCING A MID LIFE CRISIS #HASE CREATED A CHARACTER THAT WE SI MULTANEOUSLY LOATH AND SYMPATHISE WITH !S ONE REVEALING BIT OF DIALOGUE TELLS US 4ONY REGARDS HIMSELF AS hESSENTIALLY A GOOD GUY v DESPITE THE FACT THAT HE REGULARLY CHEATS ON HIS WIFE HE EARNS A LIVING THROUGH EXTORTION AND RACKETEERING AND MURDERS MEN HE IS CLOSELY RELATED TO 4HE SHOW HAS WON TWENTY ONE %MMYS AND lVE 'OLDEN 'LOBES AND HAS MADE AN IMMEASURABLE CONTRIBUTION TO THE !MERI CAN -OB &ILM GENRE 4HE GENRE S HISTORY OF
EMOTIONAL COMPLEXITY AND LENGTHY CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT HAD BEEN CRYING OUT FOR A 46 SERIES WHICH WOULD ALLOW IT TO DEVELOP ITS POTENTIAL TO THE FULL 4HE 3OPRANOS ALLOWS FOR THIS AND IT WILL NOW BE IMPOSSIBLE TO MAKE A CONVENTIONAL MOB lLM WITHOUT ACKNOWL EDGING THE INmUENCE OF THIS GENRE DElNING SHOW )T HAS ALSO BEEN CREDITED WITH RE VITAL ISING THE IDEA OF SCRIPTED DRAMA AFTER THE ONSLAUGHT OF CHEAPLY MADE REALITY 46 6AN ITY &AIR DESCRIBED THE SHOW AS hPERHAPS THE GREATEST POP CULTURE MASTERPIECE OF ITS DAY v AND THIS IS PERHAPS AN UNDERSTATEMENT 4HE SHOW CAME TO PROMINENCE AT A TIME WHEN SCRIPTED DRAMA WAS SEEN AS AN AGEING RELIC OF 46 SCHEDULING 4HEY WERE EXPENSIVE FORMU LAIC AND OLD FASHIONED OR AT LEAST THEY WERE TILL 4HE 3OPRANOS CAME ALONG )N AN ERA IN WHICH TELEVISION EXECUTIVES WERE CONSTANTLY PLAYING TO THE LOWEST COM MON DENOMINATOR AND ASSUMING THAT THE WAY TO SCORE A RATINGS HIT WAS TO ASSUME THAT THE AUDIENCE WERE AS STUPID AS THEY WERE IM PATIENT 4HE 3OPRANOS WAS DIFFERENT )TS MULTI FACETED THEMES AS WELL AS ITS USE OF DRAMATIC METAPHORS MADE IT A CHALLENGING SHOW TO FOLLOW -ANY FANS WOULD SPEND LONGER ANA LYSING THE ACTION AFTERWARDS THAN ACTUALLY WATCHING THE SHOW 3UCH CLOSE INSPECTION RE VEALS A TREASURE TROVE OF SUBLIMINAL IMAGERY
$6$ 2EVIEW 0AM !NN #OME &LY 7ITH -E RELEASED
0OLITICALLY INCORRECT GAGS AUDIENCE MEMBERS CONSTANTLY BEING PUT DOWN AND HIDEOUS COS TUMES ARE IN MY OPINION ALL THAT THIS $6$ HAS TO OFFER "UT PLEASE DON T TAKE OUR WORD FOR IT AS 0AM !NN PERFORMS ALONGSIDE SOME OF THE 5+ S MOST CRITICALLY RESPECTED DRAG PERFORMERS AND HAS A STRONG GAY FAN BASE 4HE FACT THAT TWO OF HER MOST FAMOUS FANS ARE %LTON *OHN AND -ADONNA SHOULD TELL YOU ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THIS @COMEDY ACT 7ATCHING THE NEW $6$ RELEASE WE FOUND THE HUMOUR BASIC WITH THE ODD CHEAP JOKE ABOUT TERRORISTS ON PLANES WHICH IN OUR CUR
RENT CLIMATE FAILED TO MAKE US SMILE 4HE COSTUMES ARE ELABORATE AS IS 0AM !NN AND THE HUMOUR AND JOKES ARE VERY MUCH GAY ORIENTATED AS SHE BEGINS THE OPENING OF HER SHOW BY LABELLING THE AUDIENCE MEMBERS EITHER GAY OR LESBIAN 0AM !NN APPEARS ON STAGE AFTER SOME MALE AIR HOSTS IN TIGHT WHITE AND GOLD T SHIRTS PRANCE AND DANCE IN A SLOW MODERN INTRODUCTION DANCE )T IS CERTAINLY DIFFERENT WE LL GIVE IT THAT )T APPEALS TO AN AUDIENCE WHO MAY NOT HAVE ANY MASS ENTERTAINMENT LIKE THIS AIMED AT THEM 4HE PERFORMANCE IS CENTRED ON AIR TRAVEL WITH THEMES INCLUDING COCAINE SMUG GLING TERRORISM AND AIR STAFF INCOMPETENCE AND IF THERE ARE ANY POLITICAL OR SOCIAL MES SAGES IN THE MATERIAL THEN THEY REMAIN WELL HIDDEN ! FEW LINES MADE US SMILE BUT AFTER SHOWING THE $6$ TO A FEW FRIENDS WE ALL AGREED IT WASN T QUITE OUR CUP OF TEA 7E RE NOT WRITING IT OFF COMPLETELY AND WOULD BE VERY INTERESTED TO lND OUT WHO ACTUALLY LIKES THIS HUMOR AND ENJOYS INSULTING COMMENTS TO AUDIENCE MEMBERS -AYBE YOU D LIKE TO GIVE IT A GO AND SEE FOR YOURSELF JUST DON T PURCHASE IT FOR THE a 220 PRICE 7AIT A FEW WEEKS UNTIL THE PRICE DROPS /R MONTHS /R MAYBE EVEN YEARS 3ARAH ,OVELOCK
PHILOSOPHICAL ANALOGY AND PSYCHO ANALYSIS OPPORTUNITES THAT ARE OPEN TO SEEMINGLY ENDLESS DEBATE !S WELL AS ITS INNOVATIONS 4HE 3OPRANOS ALSO EXTENDED THE CONVENTIONS OF THE MOB GENRE -ANY OF ITS CAST APPEARED IN THE CLASSIC 'OODFELLAS AND SOME EVEN CLAIMED TO HAVE BEEN EXTRAS IN 4HE 'ODFATHER 4HEY HAD MULTI LAYERED PERSONAL INTERACTIONS CONmICT ING LOYALTIES AS WELL AS A BEWILDERING ARRAY OF NICKNAMES 4HE WAY IN WHICH THE VARIOUS CHARACTERS PERSONAL LIVES INTERACT WITH THEIR CRIMINAL LIFESTYLES AS WELL AS THE INHERENT CONTRADICTION OF BEING A GOOD CATHOLIC WHILST KILLING FOR A LIVING ARE SKILFULLY DISPLAYED IN
A MORALLY NEUTRAL FASHION 4HE DIRECTION AND WRITING OF THE SHOW PAINTS A WORLD WHERE WE CAN MORALLY CONDEMN THE MAIN CHARACTERS BUT STILL ENJOY THEIR COMPANY 4HAT WILL FOREVER BE CONSIDERED 4HE 3OPRANOS MAJOR ACHIEVEMENT THE WAY IT HAS HUMANISED THE MAlA .OT IN A WAY IN WHICH WE CAN TRULY SYMPATHISE WITH THEM BUT IN A WAY THAT PRESENTS THEM AS REAL PEOPLE MAKING A CONSTANT CHOICE TO LEAD A MORALLY ABHORRENT LIFESTYLE 4HE 3OPRANOS WAS DECLARED DEAD BY ITS CREA TOR $AVID #HASE WHO SAYS HE HAS NO PLANS TO EXHUME THE BODY 4HE SHOW WAS SURVIVED BY NO SPIN OFFS AND HAS BEEN LAID TO REST ON ("/ $6$
$6$ 'AMES #ORNER
4HEY 4HINK )T S !LL /VER -OST OF YOU WILL REMEMBER 4HEY 4HINK )T S !LL /VER FROM ONLY A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO AND IT WAS A LONG RUNNING SERIES THROUGH THE S AND EARLY S 6ERY POPULAR WITH SPORTS ADDICTS THE PRODUCERS TALKBACK4HAMES HAVE BROUGHT OUT THIS $6$ GAME IN ORDER TO CAPITALISE ON THE CURRENT POPULARITY OF THE FORMAT "ASED ON THE PANEL COMEDY GAME SHOW THE $6$ HAS MANAGED TO TRANSFER THE SET UP REASONABLY SUCCESSFULLY TO YOUR $6$ PLAYER 9OU CAN HAVE TWO TEAMS AND GO THROUGH A MATCH OF EIGHT ROUNDS CONSISTING OF THE ORIGINAL GAMES @%XCUSES AND #ELEBRATIONS @0HOTO lT @)NJURY "OARD AND EVEN @&EEL THE 3PORTSMAN )MPRESSIVE CONSIDERING IT S A $6$ GAME 4HEY 4HINK )TS !LL /VER ALSO HAS A DOZEN DIFFERENT MATCHES SO YOU CERTAINLY GET YOUR MONEY S WORTH COMPARED TO OTHER GAMES !LTHOUGH SLOW COMPARED TO A 0# GAME OF THE SAME TYPE THIS GAME IS VERY FAST IN COMPARISON TO THE $EAL OR .O $EAL GAME RE VIEWED LAST ISSUE AND EFFECTIVELY BLOWS IT OUT OF THE WATER )NSTEAD OF A STALE .OEL %DMUNDS REPEATING THE SAME COUPLE OF LINES OVER AND OVER 4HEY 4HINK )T S !LL /VER STARS ORIGINAL HOST .ICK (ANCOCK AND PANELLIST 2ORY -C 'RATH WHO OFFER EFFECTIVE BANTER THROUGHOUT THE GAME %SPECIALLY ENJOYABLE IS THE CONTIN UAL MICKEY TAKING OF ABSENT PANELLISTS 'ARY
,INEKER AND $AVID 'OWER 4HE ONLY ASPECT OF THE GAME WHICH WILL REALLY GRIND YOUR PRO VERBIAL GEARS IS THE LAST FEW BARS OF THE THEME MUSIC WHICH IS REPEATED A LITTLE TOO OFTEN "ORING IF PLAYED BY ONESELF IT IS GREAT FUN IF ACCOMPANIED BY OTHERS ESPECIALLY IN SOME FORM OF DRINKING BASED GAME 2ECOM MENDED FOR GUYS AND SPORTS LOVING GIRLS IT CERTAINLY OUTCLASSES MOST $6$ GAMES ON THE MARKET BUT DON T PAY THE 220 THOUGH GET IT ONLINE *AMES "ILLINGS
0RIMETIME 4OP 'EAR 3UNDAY PM ""# 4HE 4OP 'EAR TRIO OF #LARKSON (AMMOND AND -AY RETURNED TO OUR SCREENS RECENTLY TO PRESENT ITS SEVEN MILLION PLUS VIEWERS WITH MORE RIDICULOUS BREAK NECK SPEED AND CHAOT IC ADVENTURES #ELEBRATING ITS UNOFlCIAL TH BIRTHDAY THIS YEAR 4OP 'EAR STRIVES TO PROVIDE VIEWERS WITH HINTS TIPS AND ROAD TESTS TO KEEP THEM UP TO DATE AND IN THE KNOW WITH ALL THINGS CAR ORIENTED PROVIDED THEY TRAVEL AT OVER MPH AND WILL DESTROY A CARAVAN WITH THE GREATEST OF EASE OF COURSE #RITICISED FOR JUST ABOUT EVERY PIECE OF CONTENT IT SEEMS TO AIR 4OP 'EAR HAS MANAGED TO ANNOY EVERYONE FROM MEDIA WATCHDOG /&#/- TO "OTSWANAN CONSERVATIONISTS TO "RISTOL #ITY #OUNCIL 4HE DEBATE RAGES ON AS TO WHETHER 4OP 'EAR HAS DIGRESSED FROM THE ORIGINAL @TELEVISION CAR MAGAZINE TO THE ANTICS
3OAP 3UDS
(OLLYOAKS
)T S DRAMA CENTRAL AT THE MOMENT IN #HESTER ,AST WEEK SAW TROUBLING TIMES FOR $ARREN AS HE LOST a ON THE HORSES 4INA BECOMES OVER EXCITED ABOUT HER NEW JOB AND QUICKLY STARTS IR RITATING $OM WITH ALL THE TALK OF NEW BOSS 0ETE 4HERE S LIFE CHANGING NEWS FOR 4ONY AS HIS TH BIRTHDAY PARTY RESULTS IN HIM DISCOVERING HE HAS A SON 7HAT WILL THIS MEAN FOR HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH *ACQUI 7ELL IF THEY MAKE IT THROUGH THAT THE NEXT OBSTACLE COMES HOT ON ITS HEELS AS A DRUNKEN HEART TO HEART BETWEEN HIM AND -ER CEDES SOON LEADS TO MOREx 3TE CONTINUES TO CONVINCE !MY THAT LIFE WITH HIM IN A DINGY mAT IS BETTER THAN BEING AT HOME (OWEVER THINGS ARE SOON SHAKEN UP AS THEY RECEIVE A VISIT FROM 3OCIAL 3ERVICES CONCERNING ,EAH -EANWHILE FOLLOWING AN ARGUMENT WITH NEW BOSS 7ARREN 3TE IS TEMPTED BACK INTO HIS CRIMINAL WAYS AND SEEKS REVENGE BY SETTING ALIGHT TO %VISSA ,ITTLE DOES HE KNOW THAT ,OU ISE IS TRAPPED INSIDE /N A SLIGHTLY LIGHTER NOTE THERE ARE COMICAL TIMES AS 3TEPH CONVINCES -AX TO COMPETE WITH HER IN h3INGING 3ENSATIONS v ) M SURE THAT LL BE MAGICAL FOR THE EARS
AND IMMATURITY OF AN AGING *EREMY #LARKSON AND HIS TWO SIDEKICKS @#APTAIN 3LOW *AMES -AY AND 2ICHARD @(AMSTER (AMMOND )T IS CERTAINLY TRUE THAT THE WEEKLY CAR REVIEW SHOW HAS VENTURED INTO THE REALMS OF COMEDY AND ACTION IN RECENT YEARS IN REPLACEMENT TO USE FUL CONSUMER INFORMATION RATHER THAN IN AD DITION TO IT 3UPER CARS STUNTS AND CROSS CHAN NEL RACES ARE NOW COMMON FEATURES OF THE SHOW TOGETHER WITH THE @3TAR IN A REASONABLY PRICED CAR COMPETITION AND THE 3TIG S POWER LAPS *EREMY #LARKSON ARGUES THAT THE CURRENT FORMAT OF 4OP 'EAR IS A SUPPLY AND DEMAND SITUATION 4HE AUDIENCE DOESN T WANT A DOC UMENTARY BASED BORE OF INFORMATION THEY WANT ENTERTAINMENT (OWEVER 4OP 'EAR IS ONE OF THE ""# S MOST WATCHED TELEVISION SERIES EVER USUALLY TOPPING THE SOAP OPERA %ASTEND
.EIGHBOURS
&OLLOWING THE EMOTIONAL DEPARTURES OF 3KY AND "OYD LAST WEEK THERE S A NEW FRESH FACE IN THE FORM OF 3TONIE 4OADIE S BROTHER )T S NOT A FUN lLLED VISIT HOWEVER AS 4OADIE REMAINS SUSPICIOUS OF HIS BROTHER S INTENTIONS .ED RELISHES HIS NEW ROLE AS COACH FOR THE %RINS BOROUGH #UBS !FTER COMPETING FOR THEIR JOBS 2OSIE TRIUMPHS OVER 4OADIE (OWEVER HER MOR ALS SOON KICK IN AND SHE AND 4OADIE DECIDE TO JOIN FORCES BEHIND THEIR BOSS 4IM #OLLIN S BACK +ARL CONTINUES TO DO WELL AT HIS NEW JOB AND IS REWARDED WITH A SHOCK PROMOTION THOUGH DOUBTS ABOUT HIS EMPLOYER SOON ARISE INSIDE CLEVER +ARL S MIND %LSEWHERE AS USUAL IT S AN OTHER EVENTFUL AND CHALLENGING WEEK FOR THE COUPLES OF 2AMSEY 3TREET 2INGO IS STILL REELING FROM HIS REJECTION BY #ARMELLA BUT SHE HAS ENOUGH WORRIES OF HER OWN AS SHE BEGINS TO COME TO TERMS WITH THE NEWS OF HER PREGNANCY !FTER CAREFUL THOUGHT SHE COMES CLEAN TO /LIVER WHO THEN HAS TO BREAK THE NEWS TO %LLE #AN %LLE LET HISTORY REPEAT ITSELF AND STAND BY ANOTH ER BOYFRIEND HAVING A BABY WITH HIS EX OR WILL SHE MAKE THE HEARTBREAKING DECISION TO BREAK UP WITH THE LOVE OF HER LIFE ,ORRAINE 3OUTHGATE
4OP THIS 7EEK 3CRUBS 4HURSDAY PM % &OR SOME REASON THIS LONG RUNNING SITCOM JUST DOESN T GET OLD
(EROES 7EDNESDAY PM ""# )F YOU VE MANAGED TO KEEP UP THIS TREMENDOUS SCI l MAKES IT WORTH YOUR WHILE
3ARAH 3ILVERMAN 3HOW 4HURSDAY PM 0ARAMOUNT %NTER THE WORLD OF 3ARAH 3ILVERMAN IF YOU DARE 3HE IS THE WEIRDEST COMEDIENNE ON TELLY
4HE 3OPRANOS 3UNDAY AM -ORE )F THIS WEEK S FEATURE HAS INSIPRED YOU -ORE ARE RUNNING ALL EPISODES FROM THE VERY lRST TO THE LAST 7ELL WORTH HOURS OF YOUR LIFE
#ALIFORNICATION 4HURSDAY PM &IVE .EW OFFERING FROM $AVID $UCHOVNY ! @SEXY BLACK COMEDY ABOUT SEX AND DRUGS
ERS AND LAST SEASON BEATING THE "IG "ROTHER l NAL VIEWING lGURES AT A STAGGERING MILLION %NTERTAINING FOR BOTH YOUNG AND OLD 4OP 'EAR IS AN INTERNATIONAL HIT SERIES HAVING WON AL BEIT IRONICALLY THE %MMY FOR BEST UNSCRIPTED ENTERTAINMENT SERIES AN AWARD WHICH COULD NOT BE RECEIVED BY #LARKSON HIMSELF AS HE WAS BUSY WRITING THE SCRIPT FOR THE NEXT EPISODE 3TILL THE QUESTION REMAINS IS 4OP 'EAR FUL lLLING ITS AIM TO PROVIDE VALUABLE CONSUMER CAR INFORMATION 0UT SIMPLY NO HOWEVER WITH THE GROWTH OF THE INTERNET AND CAR MAGA ZINES 4OP 'EAR NO LONGER HAS THE NEED TO PRO VIDE SUCH INFORMATION LEAVING THE SLOT CLEAR FOR ITS DElNITION OF hENTERTAINMENTv STUNTS SPEED AND STUPIDITY 7ITH THIS PREMISE IN MIND A HOST OF NEW STUNTS GADGETS AND GO FAST GAGS ARE IN STORE FOR VIEWERS IN SERIES
!FTER LAST WEEK S "UGATTI VS *ETlGHTER RACE THE FORMAT APPEARS TO BE THE USUAL PROVING THAT CARS ARE BRILLIANT AND EVERYTHING ELSE ISN T !ND FOR ALL ITS IMMATURITY IRRELEVANCE AND DOWN RIGHT POLITICAL INCORRECTNESS THE "RITISH PUBLIC STILL LOVE IT 4OP 'EAR CONTINUES TO PROVE ITSELF A SHOW WHICH LIKE A GOOD lLM OR NOVEL PRO VIDES A CAREFREE ESCAPISM THAT HAS MADE 3UN DAY NIGHTS ONE OF THE BEST NIGHTS ON THE BOX 0AUL #OOK
46 #LASSICS -R "EAN
)TS *ANUARY ST AND SOME OF US WERE BARELY OUT OF OUR NAPPIES (OWEVER BEFORE THIS TURNS INTO A DIGRESSION INVOLVING INAP PROPRIATE MEMORIES THE SIGNIlCANCE OF THIS DATE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IT WAS THE DATE THIS ISSUE S 46 #LASSICS PROGRAMME WAS lRST AIRED ,ADIES AND GENTLEMEN LET US REMINISCE ABOUT THAT COMICAL FOOL CALLED -R "EAN 4HE PREMISE OF THE SHOW WAS QUITE SIM PLE )T FOLLOWED THE EPONYMOUS CHARACTER AND HIS ATTEMPTS TO DEAL WITH PROBLEMS POSED TO HIM BY EVERYDAY SITUATIONS ! DIM WITTED ALBEIT LIKEABLE BUFFOON -R "EAN S EFFORTS WOULD INEVITABLY CAUSE HILARITY TO ENSUE 7HAT WAS ESPECIALLY EXTRAORDINARY ABOUT THE CHARACTER HOWEVER WAS HIS LACK OF SPEECH 7ITH THE EXCEPTION OF SOME MUM BLED WORDS -R "EAN RARELY SPOKE n PERHAPS WHY MANY OF US FOUND HIM SO FUNNY
4HE TITLE ROLE WAS PLAYED BY 2OWAN !T KINSON AN /XFORD GRADUATE WOULD YOU BE LIEVE AND IT IS ARGUABLY THE ROLE !TKINSON IS MOST FAMOUS FOR 4HE SHOW ITSELF WAS A HUGE SUCCESS WIN NING THE PRESTIGIOUS 'OLDEN 2OSE AWARD IN AND ALSO BEING NOMINATED FOR A PLETH ORA OF "!&4! AWARDS 4HE SERIES EVEN EXTENDED TO THE SILVER SCREEN SPAWNING TWO FEATURE lLMS AND AN ANIMATED CARTOON SPIN OFF SERIES 7HILE THE SERIES MAY HAVE ENDED PREMA TURELY A MERE lVE YEARS AFTER ITS DEBUT AS THE SPIN OFF lLMS AND SUBSEQUENT $6$ RELEASES SHOW THERE WAS SOMETHING ABOUT THAT MEN TALLY SLOW IDIOTIC GENTLEMAN THAT CONTINU ALLY MADE US SMILE :ULKImE (USSAIN
(EARD IT ON THE 'RAPEVINE (ELLO AGAIN AVID FANS AND WELCOME BACK TO ANOTHER FEW LINES OF UNADULTERATED ABUSE AGAINST 46 AS ) RANT ABOUT ALL THAT IS BAD ON THE SMALL SCREEN 4HE VOICE OF "ART ON 4HE 3IMPSONS WANTS 'ORDON "ROWN TO DO A GUEST SPOT ) THINK WE LEARNED FROM THE 4ONY "LAIR INCIDENT THAT THIS WILL BOTH HARM "ROWN AND DEMEAN THE PROGRAMME AS IT SELLS OUT FURTHER 4ALKING OF DEMEANING *ERRY 3PRINGER HAS MANAGED TO DEGRADE A DEGENERATE SHOW .O KIDDING (E COMPARED HIS NEW SHOW S GUESTS TO SUFFERING THE SAME PROBLEMS AS 0RINCESS $IANA 'OOD WORK YOU ARROGANT SELF INDUGENT POMPOUS !MERICAN JACKASS %X "IG "ROTHER WINNER "RIAN $OWLING CAUSED lLMING TO BE STOPPED ON !LL 3TAR &AMILY &ORTUNES AS THE AUDIENCE COULD NOT
STOP LAUGHING AT THE INCOMPETENCE OF HIS ANSWER 7HEN ASKED TO NAME A TYPE OF BEAN HE RE SPONDED WAIT FOR IT h,ESBIAN v )DIO CY UNBOUNDED 2E QUIREMENT TO WATCH SAID SHOW )1 RATING BELOW POINTS *OANNA ,UMLEY HAS BEEN lGHTING LIKE A MARTYR FOR QUALITY DRAMA COMPLAING THE ""# HAS DONE TOO MUCH CHEAP REALITY 46 AND NEEDS MORE hBLOODY GOOD ACTINGv !T LEAST THERE S SOMEONE TALKING SENSE 3EE YOU AGAIN NEXT TIME FOR MORE ANGRY INCOHERENT BITCHING ABOUT THE HYPOCRISY OF 46 *AMES "ILLINGS
5%! !LUMNI
$ARREN "ETT 0ROFESSION 7EATHERMAN !TTENDED 5%! $EGREE "3C%NVIRONMENTAL 3CIENCE
.OT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THE QUESTIONABLE 4OT TENHAM STRIKER WITH A SIMILAR NAME $ARREN "ETT IS A WEATHERMAN FOR THE ""# WHO COMPLETED HIS "3C AT 5%! IN THE LATE S /RIGINALLY FROM ,INCOLNSHIRE $ARREN CAME TO .ORWICH TO GET A DEGREE IN %NVIRONMENTAL 3CIENCE IN HE INITIALLY WANTED A CAREER IN MEDICINE BUT JUST DIDN T HAVE THE GRADES !FTER GRADUATING IN HE WORKED AS A HOSPITAL PORTER FOR A FEW MONTHS BEFORE JOINING THE -ET /FlCE "EING BASED lRST IN 'LASGOW AND THEN AT THE .ATIONAL -ET /FlCE #ENTRE IN "RACK NELL HE MOVED ON TO THE ,EEDS 7EATHER #ENTRE IN )N HE BECAME ONE OF THE MAIN WEATHER PRESENTERS ON ,OOK .ORTH THE ""# LO CAL NEWS PROGRAMME FOR SOME OF THE NORTHERN COUNTIES OF %NGLAND !LTHOUGH AT THAT TIME HE HAD NO FORMAL PRESENTING TRAINING HE STARTED OFF lLLING IN FOR HIS BOSS WHEN HE WAS AWAY AND SOON A SUCCESSFUL FORECASTING CAREER BECKONED )N /CTOBER HE WAS GIVEN THE CHANCE
TO MOVE TO ,ONDON TO WORK ON ""# .EWS WHICH HE DID IMMEDIATELY (E CAN NOW BE SEEN ACROSS THE ""# CHANNELS AND OFTEN PRESENTS ON THE mAGSHIP 3IX / CLOCK AND 4EN / CLOCK SHOWS (E CURRENTLY LIVES IN (AMPSHIRE WITH HIS WIFE AND THREE YOUNG CHILDREN &IONA "ILLINGS
!NOTHER 5%! !LUMNUS WHO MADE A NAME FOR THEMSELVES PRESENTING THE WEATHER IS 0ENNY 4RANTER WHO GRADUATED FROM 5%! IN 3HE WENT ON TO JOIN THE ""# IN AND HAS BEEN THERE EVER SINCE
5NI "ANDS
% $ ! - %MIL $AVID !LLARD -USIC
!S THIS REPORTER WAS LED INTO THE ROOM PRO CLAIMED BY A COLOURFUL SIGN TO BE h%MIL Sv THE lRST THING THAT WAS OBVIOUS WAS THE VAST ARRAY OF MUSIC PRODUCTION EQUIPMENT 4HIS IS %MIL !LLARD S FORTE n DIGITAL MIXING OF VOCALS AND KEY BOARD &ROM HIS HOUSE IN .ORWICH HE PRODUCES HIS LATEST WORK WHICH IS VARIED IN STYLE BUT GEN ERALLY VERY CHILLOUT (E USES SOME OF THE LATEST DIGITAL EQUIPMENT WITH HIS VOICE AND KEYBOARD SUCH AS A +AOSS +0 0AD 'ROOVEBOX AND AN %THERWAVE 4HEREMIN WHICH WAS THE lRST ENTIRELY ELECTRONIC INSTRUMENT %MIL HAS HAD SOME CLASSICAL TRAINING FOR HIS VOICE BUT ENTIRELY TAUGHT HIMSELF HOW TO PLAY THE KEYBOARD !T AGE NINE HE JOINED THE !LL 3AINTS #HOIR IN .ORTHAMPTON IN WHICH HE WAS VERY SUCCESSFUL TO THE POINT OF TRAVELLING TO !MERICA AND SINGING AT THE 'ROUND :ERO MEMORIAL 3INCE MOVING TO .ORWICH HE WAS INVOLVED WITH THE #ATHEDRAL #HOIR BUT RECENTLY LEFT TO FO
CUS ON HIS -USIC DEGREE AND OWN COMPOSITION (E DESCRIBES HIS MUSIC TASTE AS hPRETTY MUCH EVE RYTHINGv THOUGH HIS MAIN INmUENCES ARE )MOGEN (EAP AND JAZZ ARTISTS SIMILAR TO -ICHAEL "UBLE 7ITH AN UNCANNY KNACK FOR IMPROVISATION %MIL S SOLO ACT % $ ! - %MIL $AVID !LLARD -USIC HAS SET OFF TO A PROMISING START WITH A LIVE PERFORM ANCE OF @3ILENT .IGHT LAST #HRISTMAS IN .ORTH AMPTON (E WILL SOON BE STARTING VOCAL TEACHING IN .ORWICH SO IF SINGING IS SOMETHING YOU VE DONE BEFORE OR WOULD LIKE TO BEGIN YOU CAN GET IN TOUCH BY EMAILING EMILALLARD HOTMAIL COM -OST RECENTLY %MIL HAS JOINED THE LOCAL UNI BAND 3COUNDRELS WHICH WILL BE FEATURED IN A FU TURE ISSUE OF 4HE %VENT WWW MYSPACE COM EMILALLARDMUSIC *AKE -AXWELL 7ATTS
&ACEBOOK 'ROUP OF THE &ORTNIGHT 0ETITION TO REVOKE THE )NDEPENDENCE OF THE 53! 4HIS WEEK S &ACEBOOK GROUP IS AN ISSUE THAT IS CLOSE TO MANY PEOPLE S HEARTS 2EVOKING THE 5NITED 3TATES INDEPENDENCE BECAUSE LETS FACE IT THEY REALLY CAN T BE TRUSTED ON THEIR OWN 4HE NATION THAT HAS BROUGHT US 'EORGE "USH 0ARIS (ILTON AND THE CONCEPT OF @FRIENDLY lRE IS CLEARLY NOT QUITE READY TO MAKE IT IN THE BIG BAD WORLD 4HE GROUP MAKES IT CLEAR WITH A LIST OF !MERICA S CRIMES FOR EXAMPLE THEIR CULLING OF THE LETTER U FROM INNOCENT WORDS LIKE COL OUR mAVOUR AND NEIGHBOUR 4HEIR INSISTENCE ON CENSORING SWEAR WORDS WITH BLEEPS AND THEY WAY THEY HAVE TAKEN GAMES LIKE RUGBY AND ROUNDERS AND CHANGED THE RULES AND ADDED lREWORKS !CCORDING TO THE GROUP THE 53 RECORD ON SPORTS CULTURE AND THROWING TEA INTO RIVERS DEMONSTRATES A COUNTRY FUNDA MENTALLY UNSUITED TO INDEPENDENCE )T lNALLY SUGGESTS A PROGRESSIVE PRO GRAMME OF REFORMS THAT WILL BRING !MERICAN SOCIETY INTO LINE WITH "RITISH NORMS &OR A START ALL GUNS WILL BE TAKEN OFF THEIR OWNERS AND WILL BE REPLACED WITH VEGETABLE PEELERS AS THIS IS CONSIDERED SAFER ALL ROUND !LSO INTER SECTIONS WILL BE REPLACED WITH ROUNDABOUTS lRSTLY BECAUSE THEY ARE MORE PRACTICAL AND SECONDLY BECAUSE THEY WILL ACT AS AN AID TO
UNDERSTANDING "RITISH HUMOUR 4HE TRUE BRILLIANCE OF THE GROUP IS THAT THE VICTIMS OF ITS SATIRE PROVE IT TO BE COR RECT !MERICANS HAVE REGULARLY mAMED THE SITE CLAIMING !MERICA TO BE THE GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD AND EVERYONE ELSE TO BE STUPID AND JEALOUS 4HE IRONY OF THEIR COMMENTS IS BEYOND THEM AND PROVES THAT MAYBE THEY COULD DO WITH THE PRESENCE OF !LBION IF NOT IN CHARGE THEN DElNITELY ON HAND TO HELP !NDY *ONES
7HERE ARE THEY NOW -ELISSA *OAN (ART
-ELISSA *OAN (ART IS BEST KNOWN FOR HER ROLES IN TWO SUCCESSFUL TELEVISION SERIES #LARISSA %XPLAINS IT !LL AND 3ABRINA THE 4EENAGE 7ITCH #LARISSA RAN FOR lVE SEASONS FROM AND FOLLOWED (ART AS SHE DEALT WITH ALL THE THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN HER LIFE FROM SCHOOL AND SPOTS TO THE ESSENTIAL AGGRAVATING BROTHER 4HE FEATURE OF THE SHOW THAT MANY PEOPLE WILL RE MEMBER IS HER BEST FRIEND 3AM CLIMBING IN HER BEDROOM WINDOW WITH THE USE OF A LAD DER 3ABRINA THE 4EENAGE 7ITCH IS THE SHOW MORE LIKELY TO BE REMEMBERED BY "RITISH AU DIENCES AND WAS A SUCCESSFUL SPIN OFF FROM THE 46 MOVIE OF THE SAME NAME 2UNNING FROM IT REVOLVED AROUND 3ABRINA 3PELLMAN WHO ON HER TH BIRTHDAY DISCOV
ERED SHE WAS A WITCH 3HE WAS SENT TO LIVE WITH HER TWO WITCH AUNTS FOR A REASON NOT ORIGINALLY EXPLAINED IT WAS LATER REVEALED IF SHE SAW HER MOTHER BEFORE HER TH BIRTHDAY HER MUM WOULD TURN INTO A BALL OF WAX (ER ENSUING ADVENTURES CHARTED HER LIFE THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL AND COLLEGE AS SHE LEARNED TO USE HER MAGICAL ABILITIES IN OFTEN DISASTROUS BUT ALWAYS HUMOROUS WAYS 3INCE 3ABRINA ENDED IN (ART S CAREER HAS TAKEN A SLOWER PATH 3HE DIRECTED HER OWN MINUTE LIVE ACTION SHORT CALLED -UTE AND ALSO GUEST STARRED ON AN EPISODE OF ,AW AND /RDER (OWEVER HER FOCUS HAS BEEN ON FAM ILY AND SHE MARRIED -ARK 7ILKERSON OF THE BAND #OURSE OF .ATURE IN *ULY 4HEY HAVE ONE SON -ASON 7ALTER 7ILKERSON BORN IN *ANUARY AND SHE IS NOW EXPECTING HER SECOND CHILD IN &EBRUARY NEXT YEAR 0ETER (ETHERINGTON
! 2OYAL RECEPTION 4O COINCIDE WITH THE RE OPENING OF THE 4HEATRE 2OYAL AFTER A a MILLION MODERNISTATION -ATT 2AMSAY GOES BACKSTAGE TO INTERVIEW THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN #HIEF %XECUTIVE 0ETER 7ILSON
!
S ONE OF THE NATION S LEAD ING CITIES FOR PERFORMING ARTS .ORWICH CAN LOOK FORWARD TO THE RE OPENING OF ITS mAGSHIP VENUE IN .OVEMBER #LOSED SINCE EARLIER IN THE YEAR THE CITY S 4HEATRE 2OYAL HAS UNDERGONE A CONSIDERABLE FACELIFT TO VIRTUALLY ALL ASPECTS OF ITS FRONT OF HOUSE EXISTENCE 0ETER 7ILSON IS THE #HIEF %XECUTIVE OF THE THEATRE AND HAS BEEN THE LEADING lGURE IN OVERSEEING THE DEVELOPMENT THAT WAS SIX YEARS IN THE PLANNING (E EXPLAINS h&UNDAMENTALLY EVERYTHING FOR THE CUSTOMER IS IN A BETTER PLACE 4HERE S MORE FOYER SPACE MORE LEG ROOM MORE VENTILATION AND MORE LOOS )T S NOT JUST THE FRONT OF HOUSE THE AUDITORIUM IS TRANSFORMED 4HIS IS GOING TO FEEL LIKE A VERY DIFFERENT AND INTIMATE AUDITORIUMv /NE OF THE GREATEST CONCERNS THAT HAS PLAGUED THE THEATRE IN RECENT YEARS IS THE WORRY THAT AUDIENCES HAVEN T BEEN COMFORTABLE IN THEIR SUR ROUNDINGS WHILE WATCHING PERFORM ANCES 4HE INVOLVEMENT OF CONSUMERS IN THE DECISION PROCESS IS DESCRIBED BY 0ETER AS hHUGE 7E ASKED THEM WHAT THEY WANTED AND THEY SAID VEN TILATION LEG ROOM SPACE AND TOILETS 4HERE S NOW DOUBLE THE SPACE IN FRONT OF HOUSE AND DOUBLE THE NUMBER OF LOOS 4HINGS ARE WHERE THEY SHOULD BE v 7ITH A PREDICTABLY PACKED FORTH COMING SCHEDULE OF PRODUCTIONS TO BE ON DISPLAY ONCE THE RE OPENING TAKES PLACE THEATRE GOERS WILL BE DELIGHTED TO HEAR OF SUCH CHANGES THAT WILL MAKE THE EXPERIENCE CONSIDERABLY MORE EN JOYABLE 0ETER PICKS UP THE STORY h!S WITH
MOST BUSINESSES IF YOU STAY STILL THEN ACTUALLY YOU RE FALLING BEHIND 4HERE MIGHT BE SOME POINT WHEN PEOPLE THINK WOULD ) REALLY WANT TO GO AND ENJOY CRAMPED CONDITIONS WHEN ) COULD STAY AT HOME 4HE AIM OF THE MODERNISATION IS TO KEEP THE AUDIENCE ONE JUMP AHEAD OF WHAT THEY REALLY WANT v /NCE THE AUDIENCE PLEASING
h "Y THE TIME WE OPEN THIS FACILITY WILL BE THE BEST THEATRE IN THE %ASTERN REGIONS OF ITS SIZE IT WILL BE ONE OF THE BEST FOUR OR lVE IN THE COUNTRY v HAS BEEN ASSERTED THE QUESTION ARISES OF WHY THE DEVELOPMENT HAS TAKEN PLACE AT THIS POINT IN TIME h&IFTEEN YEARS AGO WE DID THE BACK OF HOUSE 4EN YEARS AGO WE DIDN T HAVE THE MON EY 4EN YEARS INTO THE FUTURE AND WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO THE BUILDING INDUSTRY ONCE THE /LYMPICS REALLY TAKE OVER 7E GOT SOME MONEY FROM A 6!4 REBATE WHICH WAS NEGOTI ATED IN %VERYTHING HAS SPRUNG FROM THAT v 4HE THEATRE WILL REACH ITS TH ANNIVERSARY IN *ANUARY OF NEXT YEAR SO THE TIMING HAS ALSO BEEN PUT DOWN TO
WANTING THE THEATRE TO BE FULLY OPERA TIONAL BY THAT LANDMARK TIME 3INCE THAT REBATE PLANS HAVE GONE AHEAD AND 0ETER REPORTS THAT THE PROJECT IS SET TO lNISH hMORE OR LESS ON TIME AND MORE OR LESS ON BUDGETv PRIOR TO THE OPENING SHOW IN .OVEMBER 'LYNDE BOURNE ON 4OUR 4HE DISCUSSION TURNS TO 0ETER S PERSONAL ROLE WITH THE THEA TRE FROM THE POINT OF VIEW OF HIS POSI TION AS #HIEF %XECUTIVE (E DESCRIBES THREE MAIN ROLES THAT MAKE UP HIS KEY DUTIES SINCE HIS ARRIVAL IN &EBRU ARY &UND RAISING HAS BEEN ONE OF THE MORE PRESSING MATTERS IN RECENT TIMES AS A CONSEQUENCE OF THE RE MODELLING PROGRAMME THAT HAS TAKEN PLACE a MILLION WORTH OF FUND RAIS ING 4HE SECOND IS HIS REQUIREMENT TO GENERATE MORE hRED MEATv TO PLACE ON HIS STAGE THAT IS TO SAY BIG NAMES OR BIG PRODUCTION COMPANIES h) VE NOT BEEN ABLE TO DO THAT FOR FOUR OR lVE YEARSv CONFESSES 0ETER h.OW ) M IN TALKS WITH THE 2OYAL 3WEDISH /PERA WITH -ATTHEW "OURNE WITH %D (ALL SON OF 3IR 0ETER (ALL IN AN ATTEMPT TO PROVIDE BETTER RED MEAT v 4HE lNAL ROLE HE PLAYS IS THAT HE TAKES RESPON SIBILITY TO HIS TRUSTEES FOR hABSOLUTELY EVERYTHINGv THAT GOES ON )T IS CLEAR THAT ENORMOUS CUSTOMER RESEARCH HAS TAKEN PLACE PRIOR TO THE RE DEVELOPMENT TO SEE WHAT AUDIENC ES WANTED IMPROVING AND THAT THERE HAS BEEN SUCCESS IN GAINING FUNDS TO HELP THE PROJECT DEVELOP 3O WHAT OF THE TALENT THAT HE HAS ACCRUED TO BE PUT ON STAGE AFTER THE THEATRE OPENS ITS DOORS h4HE ONE ) THINK WILL SUR PRISE PEOPLE IS ! #OMEDY /F %RRORS 7E VE NOT HAD THE 2OYAL 3HAKESPEARE
#OMPANY HERE FOR A LONG TIME NOT SINCE -OONLIGHT S #HILDREN THREE OR FOUR YEARS AGO v )T S HERE THAT A SENSE OF EXCITEMENT COMES ACROSS 0ETER DUE TO THE TIME LAG SINCE SUCH A COMPANY WAS LAST HERE h4HERE S A HISTORICAL IS SUE THAT THE .ATIONAL 4HEATRE OR 23# HAVE MORE OR LESS IGNORED OVER THE PAST SIX OR SEVEN YEARS WHICH IS TO TAKE HIGH QUALITY DRAMA TO THE REGIONS v (E CONTINUES h)T S A VERY HIGH PROlLE SHOW THE KIND OF THING WE COULD BE DOING !LSO THERE S 'LYNDEBOURNE WHO COMES EVERY YEAR AND $AVID %S SEX S PLAY !SPECTS OF ,OVE WHICH WILL LOOK EXTRAORDINARY ON STAGEv 4HE HYPE OF THE RE OPENING BECOMES CLEAR WITH THE SCALE OF THE PROJECT THAT HAS BEEN UNDERTAKEN 4HE VISIT OF -0 #HARLES #LARKE CAN BE USED AS AN INDICATION OF THE SIZE OF THE PROJECT AND THE SCALE OF THE ACHIEVEMENT h) TOOK HIM AND HIS WIFE AROUND THE THEATRE LAST WEEK 4HEY SAID A YEAR AGO THAT THEY D BE AS TOUNDED lRSTLY IF WE GOT THIS DONE ON TIME AND SECOND IF IT WAS ANY GOOD 7ELL THEY WERE ASTOUNDED v 7ITH THE CLEAR IMPROVEMENTS TO FACILITIES OF THE THEATRE QUESTIONS ARISE AS TO HOW THE LANDMARK OF ARTS IN .OR WICH CAN BE COMPARED TO ITS COUNTER PARTS IN OTHER CITIES 4HE MATTER OF FACT REPLY MAKES THE VISION HELD BY THOSE AT THE 4HEATRE 2OYAL PRETTY CLEAR h"Y THE TIME WE OPEN THIS FACILITY WILL BE THE BEST THEATRE IN THE %ASTERN REGIONS )T WILL BE BETTER THAN ANY THEATRE IN ,ONDON APART FROM THE .ATIONAL AND THE "ARBICAN /F ITS SIZE IT WILL BE ONE OF THE BEST FOUR OR lVE IN THE COUNTRY v "ACKING UP THIS CLAIM MAY PROVE A DIF lCULT TASK FOR SUCH A BOLD CLAIM BUT 0ETER MANAGES IT STRAIGHT AWAY h&OR THE TOUR OF !SPECTS OF ,OVE WE LL MAKE MORE MONEY HERE THAN IT WILL ON ANY OTHER LEG OF THE TOUR v 4HE PRODUCTION WILL PLAY AT AROUND TWENTY lVE VENUES NATIONWIDE 0ETER IS QUICK TO STRESS HOW EASY IT IS FOR STUDENTS SUCH AS THOSE AT 5%! TO WATCH SUCH TOP QUALITY THEATRE WITH OUT BREAKING THE BANK /FTEN SEEN AS AN EXPENSIVE MEANS OF ENTERTAINMENT STUDENTS THEREFORE CONSIDER THEATRE TO BE OUT OF THEIR RANGE 0ETER HURRIEDLY DISPROVES THIS h9OU CAN WATCH A SHOW AT THE 4HEATRE 2OYAL WHOEVER YOU ARE )F THEY STUDENTS WANT TO COME THERE ARE TICKETS THAT ARE a OR a WHICH IS IN DIRECT COMPETITION WITH A PACKET OF CIGARETTES OR HIRING A VIDEO OR A COUPLE OF DRINKS OR GOING TO THE CINEMA )F ANYONE CAN AFFORD TO DO ONE OF THOSE THINGS THEN THEY CAN AFFORD TO COME TO THE 4HEATRE 2OYAL v 0ETER IS HOWEVER AWARE OF THE UN FORTUNATE SITUATION STUDENTS PLACE THEMSELVES IN BY SO OFTEN RULING THEMSELVES OUT OF THE EXCELLENT OP PORTUNITY THEY HAVE TO WATCH SUCH HIGH QUALITY THEATRE h3TUDENTS DON T GO TO THEATRE UNLESS IT S SOMETHING
THEY WANT TO SEE 4HEY SHOULD KNOW THAT OF THE HOUSE FOR EVERY SINGLE PRODUCTION IS PRICED AT a OR a !LL YOU NEED TO DO IS BUY ONE h)T S EASIER TO CONVINCE SOMEONE WHO COMES FOUR TIMES A YEAR TO COME FOR lVE THAN IT IS TO CONVINCE SOMEONE WHO COMES NO TIMES A YEAR TO COME ONCE v /UR CONVERSATION ENDS WITH 0ETER EXPRESSING HIS OUTLOOK ON .ORWICH AS
h,OOKING AROUND THERE S NOT ONLY STRENGTH THERE S CONlDENCE ) THINK THE NEXT FOUR OR lVE YEARS WILL BE ABSOLUTELY RIVETING v A CITY FOR ARTS RATHER THAN JUST HIS OWN THEATRE AND HIS DELIGHT IS TANGIBLE AS HE COMMENTS ON THE POSITIVE OUTLOOK FACING THE CITY AT THIS TIME h)N THE LIBRARY BURNT DOWN .ORWICH #ITY WERE RELEGATED FROM THE 0REMIERSHIP .ORWICH FELT LIKE IT WOULD TURN INTO A GHOST TOWN ) DON T KNOW HOW IT HAPPENED BUT WE NOW HAVE 4HE &O RUM #HAPELlELD A WHOLE VARIETY OF MAJOR PROJECTS 4HE 0LAYHOUSE IS NOW lNANCIALLY STABLE THE 0UPPET 4HEATRE IS lNANCIALLY STABLE #INE MA #ITY IS MOVING INTO ITS WONDER FUL NEW HOME 7E RE ABOUT TO OPEN OUR HOME THE 3AINSBURY #ENTRE HAS BEEN REFURBISHED AND THERE S A HUGE PROJECT ABOUT TO START ON $UKE 3TREET 4HERE S ANOTHER BEHIND 3T -ARY S AND ANOTHER ON !NGLIA 3QUARE v 4HE ARTS SCENE CAN ALSO TAKE A BEARING ON THE WHOLE MOOD OF THE CITY AS 0ETER EXPLAINS h,OOK AROUND 4HERE S NOT ONLY STRENGTH THERE S CONlDENCE )T AL LOWS US TO MOVE INTO AN AREA OF LOCAL SECURITY WHICH REALLY WILL HAVE SOME INmUENCE h) THINK THE NEXT FOUR OR lVE YEARS WILL BE ABSOLUTELY RIVETINGv
6ERVE AND 3TYLE 2EMEMBER THOSE GUYS BEHIND THE ANTHEMIC SONGS "ITTERSWEET 3YMPHONY AND )F 4HE $RUGS $ON T 7ORK 7ELL .ICK 2EADING DOES AND HERE HE TAKES US ON A TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE CHARTING THE UPS DOWNS AND POSSIBLE COMEBACKS OF 4HE 6ERVE
!
LMOST YEARS AGO GUITARIST .ICK -C#ABE WALKED OUT ON THE BIG GEST BAND IN "RITAIN AT THE TIME 4HIS WAS NOT AS YOU MAY THINK A GROUP LIKE /A SIS OR 5 BUT 4HE 6ERVE 4HIS IS A TALE OF THE TORRID TIME THEY HAVE HAD OVER THE YEARS 4HEY FORMED IN 7IGAN IN 4HE ORIGI NAL LINE UP WAS .ICK -C#ABE AS GUI TARIST 3IMON *ONES AS BASSIST 0ETER 3ALISBURY AS DRUMMER AND 2ICHARD !SHCROFT AS VOCALIST /RIGINALLY JUST CALLED 6ERVE THE BAND WERE FORCED TO ADD @4HE AFTER A LEGAL BATTLE WITH A 53 JAZZ LABEL OF THE SAME NAME ! MOVE WHICH IN HINDSIGHT WAS GOOD FOR THEM AS 4HE 6ERVE JUST SOUNDS BETTER REALLY 4HEY RELEASED THEIR DE BUT ALBUM ! 3TORM IN (EAVEN IN THEIR SECOND ALBUM ! .ORTH ERN 3OUL IN AND THEIR lNAL AL BUM TO DATE 5RBAN (YMNS IN /VER THE YEARS 4HE 6ERVE HAVE PRODUCED SOME CLASSIC SONGS AND WON NUMEROUS AWARDS INCLUDING THE )VOR .OVELLO FOR BEST SONGWRITER GOING TO 2ICHARD !SHCROFT 3O WHERE DID IT ALL GO WRONG /NE OF THE BIG GEST REASONS FOR THE UPS AND DOWNS THEY EXPERIENCED WAS 2ICHARD !SH CROFT HIMSELF THOUGHT OF BY MANY AS A GENIUS AND BY #HRIS -ARTIN OF #OLDPLAY AS THE BEST SONGWRITER EVER #HRIS OF COURSE WAS FAILING TO RE MEMBER THE LIKES OF *OHN ,ENNON AND "RIAN 7ILSON TO NAME BUT A FEW !NYWAY !SHCROFT HAD ONE HELL OF AN EGO ON HIM (E MOST DElNITELY RULED THE ROOST AND WAS TREATED LIKE
HE WAS THE ONLY PERSON OF IMPOR TANCE IN 4HE 6ERVE 4HE ALBUM SALES KEPT GOING UP AND UP MEANWHILE !SHCROFT S EGO GOT BIGGER AND BIGGER .OEL 'ALLAGHER WAS A FAN AND 4HE 6ERVE HAD BECOME THE BIGGEST BAND IN "RITAIN !SHCROFT THOUGHT HE WAS 'OD (E WAS NOT .ICK -C#ABE IN CONTRAST TO THE PARTY LOVING EGOIST 2ICHARD !SH CROFT WAS A QUIET MAN WHO KEPT HIMSELF TO HIMSELF !S YOU CAN IM AGINE THESE TWO CHAPS DID NOT GET ALONG ! SHAMBOLIC PERFORMANCE AT 4 IN 4HE 0ARK IN SIGNALED A SPLIT FOR THE BAND 3OME BLAMED THE TENSIONS BETWEEN -C#ABE AND !SHCROFT OTHERS -C#ABE AND *ONES
AND SOME -C#ABE AND 4HE 6ERVE S MANAGER *AZ 3UMMERS 7HATEVER THE REASON IT SEEMED POOR OLD .ICK -C#ABE HAD A PRETTY BIG PART IN THE SPLIT 7HEN 4HE 6ERVE RETURNED IT WAS WITHOUT -C#ABE AND IN HIS PLACE "ERNARD "UTLER FROM 3UEDE (OWEV ER ACCORDING TO !SHCROFT HE DIDN T QUITE CUT THE MUSTARD )F HE WASN T GOOD ENOUGH THEN WHO COULD BE /NLY 2ICHARD !SHCROFT S SCHOOL FRIEND 3IMON 4ONG WHO OF COURSE WOULD NOT BE LIKELY TO OPPOSE THE MAIN MAN $ESPITE ALL THIS THOUGH 4HE 6ERVE JUST WEREN T 4HE 6ERVE WITHOUT -C#ABE AND SO HE REJOINED WITH 4ONG REMAINING TO BECOME THE lFTH MEMBER OF THE BAND !FTER ALL THIS BOTHER 4HE 6ERVE DECIDED THAT IT WAS TIME TO RELEASE A CLASSIC ALBUM -AYBE THEIR GOAL WAS TO BE A PERMANENT lXTURE IN THE TOP OF THOSE 'REATEST !LBUM SHOWS ON #HANNEL MAYBE THEY JUST WANTED TO PROVE HOW GOOD THEY WERE 7HATEVER THE REASON IN THEY CAME UP WITH 5RBAN (YMNS WHICH IS A DAMN lNE ALBUM )T IN CLUDED "ITTERSWEET 3YMPHONY WHICH GOT THEM TO NUMBER TWO IN THE CHARTS AND 4HE $RUGS $ON T 7ORK WHICH SCORED THEM A NUMBER ONE 9OU MAY THINK THAT THIS WOULD BE JUST WHAT 4HE 6ERVE NEEDED (OW EVER THEY WERE SUCCESSFULLY SUED BY 4HE 2OLLING 3TONES FOR USING A SAMPLE IN "ITTERSWEET 3YMPHONY AND IT IS SAID THAT THEY HAVE NEVER MADE A PENNY FROM IT .OT ONLY DID IT
DAMAGE THEIR BANK BALANCE BUT ALSO THEIR CREDIBILITY WHEN IT WAS USED IN A .IKE ADVERT AND AT THE END OF THAT MOST WORTHY OF lLMS #RUEL )NTEN TIONS !FTER 5RBAN (YMNS THINGS START ED TO GO DOWNHILL ONCE AGAIN -C #ABE WALKED OUT OF A TOUR IN 'ER MANY IN AND REFUSED TO TAKE PART IN ANY OTHER SHOWS FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR %VERYTHING HAD GOT A BIT TOO MUCH FOR 4HE 6ERVE AND THEY SPLIT UP IN
h4HE LEADING lGURES IN ALTER NATIVE ROCK ARE BACK AND THEY SEEM TO HAVE CALMED DOWN A BIT v 3O WHAT WAS NEXT FOR THEM 2I CHARD !SHCROFT DECIDED ON A SOLO CAREER AND 0ETER 3ALISBURY HELPED HIM OUT ON DRUMS .ICK -C#ABE ENDED UP WORKING WITH 4HE -USIC AND NOT MUCH ELSE 3IMON 4ONG AND 3IMON *ONES FORMED A BAND CALLED 4HE 3HINING WHO RELEASED ONE ALBUM AND WHO NO ONE S EVER HEARD OF 4HEY BROKE UP IN !FTER THIS 4ONG HELPED OUT "LUR IN THEIR LIVE SHOWS WHEN 'RAHAM #OXON WASN T AROUND AND IS NOW A
MEMBER OF $AMON !LBARN S SUPER GROUP 4HE 'OOD 4HE "AD AND 4HE 1UEEN SO HE ACTUALLY HASN T DONE TO BAD FOR HIMSELF !S NONE OF THE BAND DID ANY THING OF NOTE AFTER 4HE 6ERVE EXCEPT FOR 3IMON 4ONG AND POSSIBLY 2ICH ARD !SHCROFT ALTHOUGH HIS SOLO STUFF IS PROBABLY AVERAGE AT BEST THEY HAVE DECIDED TO GIVE IT ANOTHER SHOT 3OME CYNICS MAY SAY IT S BECAUSE OF THE MONEY BUT THAT DOESN T SEEM TO BE THE CASE )NSTEAD IT SEEMS AS THOUGH THEY HAVE JUST SAID DAMN IT WE LIKE MAKING MUSIC AND WE WERE GOOD SO WHY NOT GIVE IT ANOTHER GO ! .OVEMBER TOUR SOLD OUT IN JUST MINUTES SHOWING THAT POPULARITY HAS NOT WANED IN ANY WAY 4HERE ARE ALSO PLANS FOR A NEW ALBUM SOME POINT NEXT YEAR 2I CHARD !SHCROFT HAS SAID THAT WHEN THEY GOT TOGETHER AGAIN ALL THEY DID WAS JAM LIKE THEY MADE MOST OF THEIR MUSIC SO lNGERS CROSSED 4HE 6ERVE WILL BE BACK TO THEIR BEST 4HE lRST MINUTES OF THIS JAMMING SESSION WAS AVAILABLE TO DOWN LOAD FROM NME COM AND LISTENING TO THAT THEY ARE CERTAINLY ON GOOD FORM 4HE LEADING lGURES IN ALTERNA TIVE ROCK ARE BACK AND THEY SEEM TO HAVE CALMED DOWN A BIT 4HEY MAY NO LONGER HAVE A GARGANTUAN AP PETITE FOR PSYCHEDELIC DRUGS WHICH WAS PART OF THE REASON FOR THEIR DOWNFALL BUT LET S HOPE THEY VE NOT LOST ALL THEIR lRE AS IT JUST WOULDN T BE 4HE 6ERVE WITHOUT A FEW UPS AND DOWNS
3INGLE 2EVIEWS 4HESE .EW 0URITANS
ALARMING AT THE SAME TIME WHICH IS QUITE A FEAT #OLOURS SERVES UP LASHING OF INDUSTRIAL LEVEL NOISE AND DRUMMING WHICH RATTLES BONES TO THE CORE 4HE BRUTALITY OF THE GUITARS AND SYNTHS ON .UMBERS SUMMON UP IMAGES OF ARMIES OF THE UNDEAD MARCHING UNDER THE BANNER OF SOME MALEVOLENT OVERLORD /K SO THAT SENTENCE MAY BE SLIGHTLY OVERINDULGENT BUT THEN IF YOU LISTEN TO 4HESE .EW 0URITANS AND FAIL TO BE UNNERVED BY SINGER *ACK "ARNETT BARKING OUT THE LYRICS @7HAT S YOUR FAVOURITE NUMBER WHAT DOES IT MEAN THEN YOU RE OBVIOUSLY MADE OF STRONGER STUFF THAN US
.UMBERS #OLOURS
THE ELECTRO DANCE DIRECTION THAT WAS SO SUCCESSFUL ON "ODY ,ANGUAGE 4HE lRST SINGLE FROM THAT ALBUM 3LOW WAS A MONUMENTAL SMASH HIT AND BY THE SOUNDS OF THINGS (EARTS WILL ENJOY SIMILAR RESULTS 4HE LYRICS AREN T PARTICULARLY CLEVER NOR ARE
2OB -ORBIN
+AISER #HIEFS
+YLIE -INOGUE (EARTS !FTERBATTLINGBACKFROMBREASTCANCER THE !USSIE ASS SHAKER RETURNS WITH A SEXY SLICE OF TUNAGE 4EENYBOPPER FANS EXPECTING ANOTHER #AN T 'ET 9OU /UT /F -Y (EAD SHOULD BE SO LUCKY +YLIE HAS @DONE A -ADONNA IN DITCHING HER POP PIXIE IMAGE FOR
TAKEN THE OPPORTUNITY TO PROVE THAT THEY CAN MOVE ON TO MORE SERIOUS THEMES ,OVE S .OT ! #OMPETITION "UT ) M 7INNING SWAPS BUBBLING ENERGY FOR ACOUSTIC REmECTION TO TELL A HAUNTING STORY OF CONTROL WITHIN A RELATIONSHIP )T S A NICE IDEA AND A PROMISING CHANGE OF SCENE THAT LONG STANDING FANS ARE BOUND TO APPRECIATE BUT PASSERS BY ARE LIKELY TO lND THE REPETITIVE LYRICS AND DRAGGING TEMPO RATHER ANTI CLIMATIC AND BLAND
,OVE S .OT ! #OMPETITION
7ILL (OLLOWAY 4HESE .EW 0URITANS HAIL FROM THE SAME SEASIDE TOWN AS THE (ORRORS AND BOY DOES IT SHOW 4HERE MUST BE SOMETHING IN THE SALTY WATER OR THE SEA AIR IN 3OUTHEND WHICH DRIVES THE TOWN S RESIDENTS TO MAKE SUCH APOCALYPTIC AND DOWNRIGHT SCARY MUSIC 4HE BAND ARE AS AUSTERE AS THEY COME AND LIKE THE (ORRORS TEND TO DRESS ALL IN BLACK 4HESE .EW 0URITANS SUCCEED IN BEING BOTH EXHILARATING AND
PULLS IT OFF WELL 4HAT TRADEMARK SEDUCTIVE VOICE AND HEAVY BREATHS COUPLED WITH ELECTRONIC PRODUCTION SPAWNS THE SYRUPY DELICIOUSNESS OF A #HUNGKING OR 'OLDFRAPP OFFERING 3URE TO DRIP INTO EARS AND MOVE HIPS ON THE DANCE mOOR
THEY ORIGINAL BUT HEY THIS IS +YLIE IT S CATCHY IT S SENSUAL AND THAT S WHAT MATTERS 7RITTEN AND PRODUCED BY ,ONDON BASED ELECTRO FOUR PIECE +ISH -AUVE THIS TUNE HAS THE POWER TO GET BODIES DANCING AND IS CERTAINLY ONE FOR THE CLUBS -AKING SUCH A SLOW LOW TEMPO SEXY DANCE SONG IS NO MEAN FEAT BUT -ISS -INOGUE
2ICKY 7ILSON AND HIS ENTOURAGE OF MERRY MEN RETURN THIS .OVEMBER WITH A SURPRISINGLY SOLEMN THIRD SINGLE RELEASE TAKEN FROM THEIR SECOND ALBUM 9OURS 4RULY !NGRY -OB .OTORIOUS FOR THEIR FUN APPROACH TO CHART TOPPING TUNES THE +AISER #HIEFS HAVE NEVER YET FAILED TO BRING MONSTROUSLY CATCHY TRACKS TO RADIO STATIONS ACROSS THE PLANET 4HEIR PREVIOUS STUDIO RELEASE %MPLOYMENT UNLEASHED THE LIKES OF /H -Y 'OD AND %VERY $AY ) ,OVE 9OU ,ESS AND ,ESS ONTO THE "RITISH MUSIC SCENE WITH HUGE SUCCESS AND DESPITE THE FEELING THAT THEY WERE PERHAPS MOVING IN CIRCLES WITH THIS YEAR S COMEBACK 2UBY THE GROUP HAVE
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! 'UIDE TO ,OVE ,OSS AND $ESPERATION WORKS SO EUPHORICALLY IN TRACKS SUCH AS -OVING TO .EW 9ORK 3CHOOL 5NIFORMS AND "ACKlRE AT THE $ISCO THE SLOWER MOMENTS I E (ERE #OMES 4HE !NXIETY ,ITTLE -ISS 0IPEDREAM MERELY REmECT THE DODGY COME DOWN YOU LL BE SUFFERING THE MORNING AFTER mAILING YOUR LIMBS TO ,ET S $ANCE TO *OY $IVISION AT THE 7ATERFRONT 4HEIR ABILITY TO CONSTRUCT A INDIE DISCO ANTHEM IS SO STRONG IT ALMOST RENDERS THEIR CAPABILITY TO WRITE ANYTHING UNDER BPM USELESS )T S FRUSTRATING BUT A TESTAMENT TO THE BETTER TRACKS BECAUSE THE ONES THAT REACH THE GIDDY HEIGHTS OF ,ET S $ANCE TO *OY $IVISION ARE NEAR IMPOSSIBLE TO FAULT +ILL THE $IRECTOR DOES EVERYTHING A GREAT @TRACK TWO SHOULD DO AND BETTER GRAB YOU BY THE ARMS SHAKE YOU AROUND SOME AND HAVE YOU SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF YOU LUNGS hTHIS IS NO "RIDGET *ONES v LIKE THERE S NO TOMORROW "ACKlRE AT THE $ISCO WILL TAKE 7OMBAT S DIE HARDS ON A NOSTALGIA TRIP BACK TO THE TIME WHEN IT SET INDIE DISCOS ALIGHT LIKE LITTLE ELSE BEFORE AND ,ET S $ANCE 4O *OY $IVISION ALTHOUGH NOT NEARLY AS IRONIC AS IT THINKS IT IS IS A CRACKING SLICE OF WHAT 4HE 7OMBATS DO BEST JAGGED GUITARS WHIMSICAL LYRICS IT WILL HAVE GROUP ONE GAGGING )T S ALBUM HIGH -OVING TO .EW 9ORK NEAR ENOUGH CEMENTS 4HE 7OMBAT S AS THE BEST HARMONY HEAVY POST &UTUREHEADS BAND THE 5 + S PRODUCED SINCE WELLxTHE &UTUREHEADS 'ROUP TWO SAVOUR 4HE 7OMBATS WHILE YOU CAN BECAUSE YOU RE CERTAINLY GOING TO BE HEARING A LOT OF THIS IN THE ,#2 IN THE COMING MONTHS !ND GROUP ONEx WELL WE SINCERELY HOPE WE HAVEN T STARTED A WAR
4HE 7OMBATS WERE NEVER GOING TO WIN EVERYONE OVER 4HEIR JAGGED GUITARS AND WHIMSICAL LYRICS WERE ALWAYS BOUND TO INSTIL HATE IN WHAT THIS REVIEWER IS GOING TO REFER TO AS GROUP ONE THE POMPOUS PRETENTIOUS .-% BAITING @PITCHFORK MEDIA COM LOVING UNINSPIRED CYNICS 4HE ONES THAT BELIEVE THAT NEW MUSICAL EXPRESS IS DESTROYING LEXICON THROUGHOUT THE 5 + THE ONES THAT SEE THE CURRENT 5 + @INDIE SCENE SHUDDER AS STAGNATE 3TROKES ,IBERTINES INSPIRED @TOSH AND THE ONES THAT MOST PROBABLY SEE 4HE 7OMBATS AS ANOTHER RUN OF THE MILL SLICE OF TIRESOME MAINSTREAM INDIE POP )F YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF ONE OF THE ABOVE STOP READING NOW YOU LL PROBABLY HATE THIS ALBUM 'ROUP TWO THE ONES THAT ALTHOUGH ENJOY THE OCCASIONAL
HIP SHAKE TO DANCE mOOR lLLERS ) "ET 9OU ,OOK 'OOD /N 4HE $ANCEmOOR ,AST .IGHT AND $ON T ,OOK "ACK )NTO 4HE 3UN THE SONGS THAT ARE BEST ENJOYED WITH HALF A SNAKEBITE DOWN YOUR TOP AND lVE OR SIX OF YOUR MATES ROUND YOUR NECK ARE BEGINNING TO TIRE OF THE SICKLY INDIE DISCO SHENANIGANS OF 4HE +ILLERS (ARD &I AND +AISER #HIEFS HERE S LOOKING AT YOU ) 0REDICT A 2IOT )F YOU RE ONE OF THESE SEMI SATISlED @INDIE HIPSTERS AGAIN SHUDDER KEEP READING 9OU LL BE GLAD TO HEAR THAT 4HE 7OMBAT S DEBUT ALBEIT mAWED IS A TASTY SLICE OF COUGH @MAINSTREAM INDIE POP THAT WILL HAVE YOU TOE TAPPING IN PARTS AS FRENETICALLY AS A DOSED UP $URACELL RABBIT /NLY IN PARTS 7ELL BECAUSE THE FRANTIC SUNSHINE POP
"RITNEY 3PEARS
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"RITNEY 3PEARS IS BACK WITH HER lFTH STUDIO ALBUM "LACKOUT 'IMME -ORE THE BREATHY mOOR lLLING lRST SINGLE TO COME OFF THE AL BUM HAS ALREADY REACHED NUMBER THREE ON THE 5+ CHART 4HE ALBUM S OVERALL SOUND CAN BEST BE DESCRIBED AS ELECTRO POP WITH EXTRA THE EMPHASIS ON THE ELECTRO 4HE CHIP BOT THINK CHIPMUNK CROSSED WITH A ROBOT EFFECT CROPS UP MORE THAN ENOUGH THROUGHOUT ONE WOULD EXPECT THIS CROSSOVER TO RESULT IN A HIDEOUS REVERBERATION BUT IN CONTEXT OF THE ALBUM WHICH IS FULL OF WEBS OF DISTORTED SYNTHESISERS AND PULSATING CLUB FRIENDLY BEATS IT ACTUALLY WORKS SURPRISINGLY WELL /OH /OH "ABY AND 0ERFECT ,OVER ARE lLLER SONGS ABOUT "RITNEY S INSATIABLE SEXUAL APPETITE CONTAINING MUCH SUG GESTIVE PANTING THAT MAKES FOR AWKWARD LISTENING AND WHILE 7HY 3HOULD ) "E 3AD PRODUCED BY 0HARRELL 7ILLIAMS IS THE CLOSEST NUMBER TO A REmECTIVE BALLAD ON THE ALBUM LITTLE IS MADE OF THE COLLABORATION BETWEEN THE TWO BIG NAMES AND THE RESULT IS BLAND AND FORGETTABLE !RGUABLY THE BEST SONG ON THE ALBUM IS 4OY 3OLDIER MIXED BY "LOODSHY !VANT WHO WROTE "RIT S HIT 4OXIC A REAL EARWORM OF A TUNE THAT COMBINES A CATCHY CHORUS WITH A SEXY AND SNAPPY METALLIC MILITANT DRUM LINE "LACKOUT MAY BE A WORLD AWAY FROM HER (IT -E "ABY /NE -ORE 4IME ERA BUT "RITNEY S FRESH SOUND IS DElNITELY WORTH A LISTEN
*IMMY %AT 7ORLD ARE A BAND THAT INSPIRES PASSION ATE DEVOTION IN ITS ARMY OF FANS "E IT THE JADED TWENTY SOMETHINGS WHO HAVE hBEEN THERE FROM THE BEGINNINGv OR THE NEWLY CONVERTED TEENY BOPPERS WHO LOVED THAT SONG WITH THE hWOAHSv A LOT OF PEO PLE WILL HAVE AN OPINION ON THIS THEIR SIXTH LONG PLAYER TO DATE 7ILL IT BE HERE ON #HASE 4HIS ,IGHT THAT THE !RIZONIANS WILL lNALLY SATISFY BOTH THE MASS OF NEWBIES AND THOSE DILIGENT PURISTS ,EAD SINGLE "IG #ASINO WELCOMES YOU TO THE RECORD WITH ITS CRUNCHING GUITARS AND PLEAS TO THE INSECURITIES OF ADULTHOOD FELT BY LEAD LAD *IM !DKINS -USICAL SIMPLICITY AND LYRICAL HONESTY QUICKLY BECOME CONTINUED THEMES ALONG WITH BREATHTAKING USE OF MELODY AND HARMONY 4HIS COLLECTION OF NEAR PERFECT POP SONGS IS OFTEN SO UPLIFTING AS TO BE ALMOST TOO EASY !T TIMES YOU LL BE ALLOWED TO STOP FOR BREATH BUT SOMEHOW YOU RE DRAWN IN EVEN FURTHER SUB MERGED IN EERIE ACOUSTIC GUITARS AND STRING ARRANGEMENTS TO MELT EVEN THE DARKEST ECHELONS OF YOUR SOUL "Y THE TIME ALBUM CLOSER $IZZY RETREATS INTO SILENCE A DISTINCT FEELING OF EMPTINESS ABOUNDS BECAUSE LIFE BE COMES SIMPLY BETTER WITH THIS RECORD PLAYING "UY IT CON SUME IT AND ALLOW YOUR EARS TO BASK IN THE TRIUMPH OF THIS A HOT CONTENDER FOR THOSE SOON TO BE COMPILED ALBUM OF THE YEAR LISTS
)T WAS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME UNTIL +ITSUNE *APANESE 0ARISIAN LABEL OF THE MOMENT WOULD HOOK UP WITH INFAMOUS 3HOXTON CLUB NIGHT "OOMBOX TO CREATE THE ULTIMATE ELECTRO COMPILATION -IXED BY RESIDENT $* *ERRY "OUTHIER IT FEATURES 3IMIAN -OBILE $ISCO #HROMEO 2IOT IN "ELGIUM REMIXES BY 6AN 3HE 4ECH $IGITALISM AND 'UNS N "OMBS 4HIS REACHES THE HIGHEST LEVEL OF MUSIC PRETENTIOUSNESS THAT YOU DON T HAVE TO BE ASHAMED OF -AISON +ITSUNE RUN BY $*S 'ILDAS AND -ASAYA IS HOME NOT ONLY TO #RYSTAL #ASTLES "OYS .OIZE AND 4HIEVES ,IKE 5S BUT ALSO HELPED SPARK OFF THE CAREERS OF +LAXONS AND (ADOUKEN %VERY 3UNDAY NIGHT WITH SUPER TRANNY *EANETTE ON THE DOOR 2ICHARD -ORTIMER KICKED OFF THIS DRESS UP ALL CONSUMING ALL GLITTERING PARTY LIFESTYLE HAVING THE WIDEST RANGE OF CLIENTELE LIKE "JORK AND 'ILES $EACON WITH ANYONE LIKE MODEL !GYNESS $EYN DESIGNER 2OKSANDA )LINCIC OR PHOTOGRAPHER 7OLFGANG 4ILLMANS ON THE DECKS /F COURSE THIS SORT OF PARTY WHERE PEOPLE WEAR JUICE CARTONS GIANT CALCULATORS @SPAZZY SPECS MORE MAKE UP THAN 7INEHOUSE IN DRAG TAKE MORE DRUGS THAN AN ARMY OF $OHERTYS AND BRING SPITTING COBRAS ON CRACK COULD NEVER BE EMULATED BY A RECORDING BUT THIS #$ IS THE CLOSEST YOU CAN GET TO THE RAVE )N THE SPIRIT OF ALL THINGS (OXTON ERGO .ATHAN "ARLEY THIS IS WELL SEPTIC
#AROLINE $UNMORE
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!FTER 3TING AND THE 0OLICE WERE FORCED TO POSTPONE THEIR 5+ TOUR THIS AUTUMN CITING A THROAT INFECTION MUSIC LOVERS HAD TO GO ELSEWHERE TO HEAR AN %NGLISHMAN FROM .EW 9ORK )N SUPPORT OF HIS SECOND STUDIO ALBUM OF COVERS 6ERSION $* AND PRODUCER EXTRAORDINAIRE -ARK 2ONSON WAS ON HAND TO DELIVER A STUNNING LIVE SHOW JOINED BY SOME VERY SPECIAL GUESTS +ICKING OFF WITH )NVERSION AND AN
INSTRUMENTAL COVER OF !PPLY 3OME 0RESSURE 2ONSON AND *AMIROQUAI BASSIST 3TUART :ENDER PROMPTED A CAPACITY CROWD TO SING EN MASSE TO THE -AXÕMO 0ARK HIT !FTER WHICH 2ONSON MUSED hSO ) GOT THE CHORD PATTERN RIGHT THEN v BEFORE INVITING $ANIEL -ERRIWEATHER TO THE STAGE TO SING THE CHART TOPPING /OH 7EE FROM 2ONSON S DEBUT (ERE #OMES THE &UZZ 0LAYING ALONGSIDE A SEVEN PIECE BAND
INCLUDING PERCUSSIONISTS AND A BRASS SECTION THE ,ONDON BORN .EW 9ORKER DEMONSTRATED THE DIVERSITY OF HIS MUSICAL TALENTS HYPERACTIVELY SWAPPING BETWEEN GUITARS COW BELLS XYLOPHONES AND KEYBOARDS WHILST PRODUCING A BETTER LIVE SOUND THAN CAN BE FOUND ON EITHER OF HIS TWO STUDIO ALBUMS WHICH MANY WOULD AGREE IS NO MEAN FEAT 2ONSON CONTINUED JUXTAPOSING OLD WITH NEW MATERIAL FROM HIS LATEST ALBUM BY CHURNING OUT CROWD PLEASERS /H -Y 'OD AND !MY HALTING ONLY TO POSE THE QUESTION hARE YOU STILL WITH US .ORWICH v "Y THIS POINT THE ,#2 HAD REACHED FEVER PITCH AND WAS IN DANGER OF PEAKING TOO EARLY AS 2ONSON AND #O TORE INTO ANOTHER RENDITION THIS TIME OF #OLDPLAY S 'OD 0UT A 3MILE 5PON 9OUR &ACE THE TENOR AND ALTO SAXOPHONES A PROMINENT DRIVING FORCE BEHIND A CHARISMATIC TRUMPET SOLO OF PIERCING CLARITY SOMEHOW AUDIBLE OVER THE TUMULT OF APPLAUSE FROM ONLOOKERS AND BAND MEMBERS ALIKE 2ONSON WAS GIVEN BRIEF RESPITE FROM THE LIMELIGHT WHEN HE WAS JOINED BY THE CLOSEST THING TO MUSICAL ROYALTY 3EAN ,ENNON SON OF *OHN ,ENNON AND 9OKO /NO FOR COVERS OF "EACH "OYS CLASSIC 3AIL ON 3AILOR
AND A MANIC PERFORMANCE OF 2ADIOHEAD S *UST !T THIS POINT ONE SHOULD REALLY FEEL SORRY FOR SUPPORT BAND $OCTORS OF ,OVE WHO ALTHOUGH ENTERTAINING WERE CLEARLY NO MATCH FOR -ARK 2ONSON S BAND AND VISIBLY RESEMBLED AN AGED 2USSELL "RAND AND *ACK "LACK IN AN ENERGY DElCIENT BLUES ROCK OUTlT .EW TO THE MUSIC SCENE AND WITH PLANS FOR HIS DEBUT ALBUM TO HIT THE SHELVES IN EARLY EVEN THE VOCALS OF !LI ,OVE STUMBLING THROUGH THE LYRICS OF #HARLATANS COVER 4HE /NLY /NE ) +NOW FAILED TO DAMPEN THE MOOD IN THE ,#2 AS CROWD PARTICIPATION HELPED THE YOUNG %AST ,ONDONER THROUGH THE SONG &INISHING THE SET WITH HIS LATEST SINGLE 6ALERIE 2ONSON AND HIS GUESTS ENCORED IRONICALLY ENOUGH WITH A COVER OF A COVER 3TEVIE 7ONDER S 7E #AN 7ORK )T /UT ORIGINALLY BY 4HE "EATLES AND CLOSED SHORTLY AFTER WITH 3TOP -E n THE CROWD PLEADING FOR MORE EVEN AFTER 2ONSON AND -ERRIWEATHER HAD LEFT THE STAGE AND THE LIGHTS HAD COME UP 4ONIGHT 2ONSON PROVED TO GIG GOERS THAT HE IS NOT JUST A WELL CONNECTED $* AND PRODUCER BUT A HIGHLY SKILLED MUSICIAN WITH A POWERFULLY ENERGETIC LIVE SHOW &REDDIE !LLEN
,OS #AMPESINOS
4HE 5NDERTONES
&RIDAY TH /CTOBER .!#
4HURSDAY TH /CTOBER 7ATERFRONT
,OS #AMPESINOS ARE THE HOTTEST THING TO COME OUT OF 7ALES SINCE 4OM *ONES TOLD US )T S .OT 5NUSUAL 4HE NIGHT S lRST SUPPORT BAND ATTACK DEFEND ARE NOT 4HESE THREE 7ELSH BROTHERS SEEM LIKE NICE BOYS BUT THEIR SONGS ARE A MESS 9OU 3AY 0ARTY 7E 3AY $IE PLAY NEXT ON A BILL lLLED WITH PUNCTUATION 4HEY ARE A #ANADIAN lVE PIECE WITH TWO KEYBOARDS AND NO BASS AND SOUND LIKE A LESS WIRED (ELP 3HE #AN T 3WIM 3ONGS FROM THE NEW ALBUM ARE WELL RECEIVED BUT OLD FAVOURITES 4HE 'AP AND #OLD (ANDS (OT "ODIES GET THE AUDIENCE GOING &RONTWOMAN "ECKY .INKOVIC IS AN %IGHTIES STYLED INDIE PRINCESS CLAMBERING ONTO AN EXCITED AUDIENCE MEMBER S SHOULDERS DURING THE BAND S lNAL SONG ,OS #AMPESINOS ESCHEW THE STAID VERSE CHORUS VERSE STRUCTURE RAMMING THEIR SONGS WITH GLOCKENSPIEL VIOLINS HANDCLAPS AND A BIG HELPING OF POPULAR AND HIGH CULTURE
REFERENCING 4HE SONGS ARE GLORIOUSLY FUN WHEN THEY TAKE TO THE STAGE THEY START QUIETLY BUT SOON UNLEASH $ON T 4ELL -E 4O $O 4HE -ATH S A HYPERACTIVE PAST SINGLE THAT SENDS THE CROWD WILD .EXT IS CURRENT SINGLE 4HE )NTERNATIONAL 4WEEXCORE 5NDERGROUND WHICH SOUNDS LIKE TWO BRILLIANTLY MENTAL SONGS CRASHING INTO EACH OTHER ,OS #AMPESINOS ARE A LESS SPRAWLING !RCHITECTURE )N (ELSINKI OR A MORE POP VERSION OF .ORWICH S "EARSUIT lZZING OUT STREAMS OF LYRICS LIKE A SHAKEN BOTTLE OF COKE (OWEVER THE BAND TAKES THIS FUN MALARKEY SERIOUSLY &RONTMAN 'ARETH DOESN T LOOK AT THE CROWD MUCH WHILE HE BOUNCES ON THE BALLS OF HIS FEET AND MIMES THE SONG LYRICS 4HE REST OF THE BAND PLAYS WITH EXTREME CONCENTRATION WHICH IS UNDERSTANDABLE THESE SONGS WOULD NOT WORK UNLESS THEY WERE UNDERPINNED BY TIGHT AND SKILLED MUSICIANSHIP 4HANKFULLY THIS IS JUST WHAT ,OS #AMPESINOS PROVIDE 9OU -E $ANCING BUILDS THROUGH SIX MINUTES OF DISCO PRAISING POP AND CREATES A CRAZIER CROWD THAN THE !RTS #ENTRE HAS SEEN IN MONTHS 4HE SET CLOSES WITH 3WEET $REAMS 3WEET #HEEKS 4HE SUPPORT BANDS LINE UP WITH ,OS #AMPESINOS TO CHANT A lNAL CHORUS AND PERFORM A SYNCHRONIZED DANCE ROUTINE 4HE CROWD DEPART GRINNING EAR TO EAR KNOWING THEY HAVE SEEN ONE OF THE BEST NEW BANDS IN "RITAIN 4AKE THAT 4OM *ONES 3ARAH #HRISTIE
4HE PHRASE @PUNKS NOT DEAD SEEMS TO BE SO OVERUSED THESE DAYS THAT IT HAS MORE OR LESS BECOME A JOURNALISTIC CLICHÏ YET FOR SOME REASON IT REMAINS APPEARING ON BADGES AND T SHIRTS THE WORLD OVER 4HE QUESTION HOWEVER IS WHY THERE ARE STILL SO MANY UNBELIEVERS AMONG US ESPECIALLY AS NEARLY EVERY "RITISH PUNK BAND FROM THE ERA ARE STILL PLAYING ALBEIT IT WITH SLIGHTLY ALTERED LINE UPS 4HE 3EX 0ISTOLS RECENTLY REFORMED AND BANDS INCLUDING THE "UZZCOCKS AND THE 2UTS HAVE NEVER REALLY GONE AWAY 5+ @GRINDIE ARTIST ,ETHAL "IZZLE EVEN SAMPLED THE LATTER S CLASSIC
TRACK "ABYLON S "URNING ON HIS RECENT ALBUM /VER THE NEXT COUPLE OF MONTHS THE 7ATERFRONT WILL BE HOSTING CLASSIC BANDS 3HAM AND 4HE $AMNED BUT TONIGHT IT S THE TURN OF )RISH LEGENDS 4HE 5NDERTONES 4HE VENUE IS ONLY HALF FULL AND NOT EXACTLY DRIPPING WITH ANTICIPATION )T IS PROBABLY A SAFE GUESS TO SAY A LOT OF THE AUDIENCE ARE ONLY REALLY HERE FOR THAT SONG !S SOON AS THE BAND STARTS PLAYING THOUGH THE DIEHARDS AT THE FRONT BEGIN TO POGO AND IT ALMOST FEELS AS IF THE VENUE HAS GONE BACK THIRTY YEARS 4HE 5NDERTONES BARELY PAUSE FOR BREATH BETWEEN EACH TRACK AND THE lRST THREE SONGS ARE CHUCKED OUT IN JUST FOUR MINUTES /LD SINGLES (ERE #OMES THE 3UMMER AND *IMMY *IMMY HELP TO GET THE CROWD GOING EVEN MORE AND THE ATMOSPHERE CONTINUES TO GET BETTER AND BETTER .EW VOCALIST 0AUL -C,OONE SOUNDS A DEAD RINGER FPR ORIGINAL SINGER &EARGAL 3HARKEY AND THE BAND STRUTS AROUND WITH SO MUCH ENERGY THAT IT IS EASY TO FORGET THAT THESE GUYS ARE ACTUALLY PUSHING lFTY 4HEY PLAY 4EENAGE +ICKS THREE QUARTERS OF THE WAY THROUGH AND EVERYBODY GOES ABSOLUTELY MENTAL YET ONCE ITS lNISHED THE AUDIENCE ARE POSITIVELY FROTHING FOR MORE AND THEY GET WHAT THEY WANT %VENTUALLY AFTER TWENTY lVE SONGS AND TWO ENCORES IT IS ALL OVER BUT THE SPIRIT OF IS ALIVE AND WELL -ICHAEL "LUNT
-AIN &EATURE
/UTSTANDING %XCELLENT 'OOD -EDIOCRE 4RAGIC
$IR 3HEKHAR +APUR 2ELEASED
%LIZABETH 4HE 'OLDEN !GE IS SET AGAINST A TURBULENT BACKGROUND OF HOSTILITIES BETWEEN "RITAIN AND 3PAIN 4HE DEVOUT #ATHOLIC 0RINCE 0HILIP )) OF 3PAIN *ORDI -OLLÉ LAUNCHES AN ARMADA OF SHIPS TO CRUSH %NGLAND S NAVAL DEFENSES AND USURP 1UEEN %LIZABETH PLAYED FOR THE SECOND TIME BY /SCAR WINNER #ATE "LANCHETT IN FAVOUR OF HER #ATHOLIC COUSIN -ARY 1UEEN OF
3COTS 3AMANTHA -ORTON 4HE FOCAL POINT OF THE PLOT IS THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN %LIZA BETH AND THE RUGGEDLY HANDSOME EXPLORER 7ALTER 2ALEIGH PLAYED BY THE EVER DREAMY #LIVE /WEN %LIZ ABETH IS INTRIGUED BY AND ATTRACTED TO THE ROGUISH 2ALEIGH HIS STORIES OF UNEXPLORED FARAWAY WORLDS AL LOW THE 1UEEN TO VICARIOUSLY EXPE RIENCE AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT WORLD
TO THE TOUGH AND LONELY ONE SHE IS A PRISONER OF ! LOVE TRIANGLE FORMS WHEN 2ALEIGH FALLS FOR THE 1UEEN S MOST FAVOURED LADY IN WAITING "ESS 4HOCKMORNTON 7ITH THE !RMADA DRAWING EVER CLOSER THE AUDIENCE IS WITNESS TO THE DETERIORATING MENTAL STATE OF THE 1UEEN (OWEVER THE INABILITY OF THE 3PANISH mEET TO COPE WITH STORMY %NGLISH WATERS SEES THEIR
MISSION FAIL IN THE MOST HUMILIAT ING NAVAL DEFEAT IN 3PAIN S HISTORY )T WOULD BE FAIR TO SAY THAT %LIZABETH 4HE 'OLDEN !GE LOOKS SPECTACULAR BOTH IN COSTUME AND SET HOWEVER WHEN ALL YOU HAVE TO COMMENT ON ARE THE VISUAL ASPECTS IT OFTEN MEANS THE REST OF THE lLM HASN T IMPRESSED AND THAT S CER TAINLY TRUE IN THIS CASE 4HE ACTING IS GOOD WITH THE BEST PERFORMANCE
BEING DELIVERED BY 'EOFFREY 2USH AS THE 1UEEN S MOST TRUSTED ADVI SOR &RANCIS 7ALSINGHAM "LANCHETT TURNS IN A VERY STRONG BUT UNFORTU NATELY UNORIGINAL PERFORMANCE AS THE 6IRGIN 1UEEN $IRECTOR 3HEKHAR +APUR MAN AGES TO TAKE A PRETTY GOOD STORYLINE AND RUIN IT WITH A DISTRACTING OVER DRAMATIC SCORE THE USE OF WIND MACHINES AND NEEDLESSLY CHEESY SYMBOLISM 4HERE ARE ALSO A HAND FUL OF UNDER DEVELOPED AND CONFUS ING SUB PLOTS INCLUDING A DOOMED MISSION TO ASSASSINATE THE 1UEEN 7HEN COMPARED TO ITS /SCAR WINNING PREDECESSOR S %LIZA BETH THIS lLM SEEMS TO PERFECTLY lT THE CLICHÏ OF THE DISAPPOINTINGLY POOR SEQUEL 4HE lLM IS STILL WORTH A WATCH AS IT IS CERTAINLY NOT BOR ING AND SOME MAY LIKE ITS OVER DRAMATIC STYLE 2UMOURS ARE THAT IT IS TIPPED FOR AWARD SUCCESS BUT WE HOPE THAT THE COVETED TROPHY GOES TO SOMETHING A BIT MORE DESERV ING "ETH $AVISON AND *ESS 7HITE
#INElLE 7ES !NDERSON 7ES !NDERSON S LEGACY AS A lLM ENBAUMS WE SEE THE POIGN MAKER MUST BE ESTABLISHED BY NOW ANT HISTORY OF A DYSFUNCTIONAL FAM (OW ELSE COULD HE HAVE DIRECTED ILY WHO HAVE DIFlCULTY RECONCILING AND STARRED IN HIS OWN !MERICAN THEIR PROBLEMS 4HIS STOICAL COM %XPRESS ADVERT !S AN AUTEUR !N EDY IS PARTLY NARRATED HAS SUBTITLES DERSON IS KNOWN FOR TAKING FOR NAMES AND PLACES COM CONTROL OVER ALMOST ALL PLICATED TRACKING SHOTS ASPECTS OF HIS lLMS FOLLOWING CHARACTERS "UT WHAT MAKES &ROM "OTTLE 2OCKET AROUND THEIR HOUSES THEM SO RECOGNIS TO HIS LATEST lLM 4HE SCENES BROKEN UP ABLE $ARJEELING ,IMITED 7ES BY IMAGES OF THE 0ERHAPS IT S THE !NDERSON HAS ENDED ALL SCRIPT ITSELF SHOTS COOL ECCENTRICITY HIS MOVIES WITH A SLOW WITH AN UNNATURAL OF HIS CHARACTERS MOTION SHOT DEGREE OF ORDER AND 4AKE "OTTLE 2OCKET SYMMETRY AND ELABO HIS lRST FEATURE RATE SETS BRIMMING WITH IN WHICH AN EX PSYCHIATRIC UNUSUAL DETAILS )N A SELF CON PATIENT TEAMS UP WITH TWO FRIENDS SCIOUS CELEBRATION OF AESTHETICS THE TO PLOT A ROBBERY "ROTHERS /WEN SCREENPLAY OFTEN DRAWS ATTENTION TO AND ,UKE 7ILSON STAR AS QUIRKY YET THE VERY TECHNIQUES EMPLOYED TO ENDEARING CHARACTERS WHOSE DELUD TELL IT MAKING IT A VISUALLY INTRIGU ED PLANS AND STRANGE PERSPECTIVES ING PIECE OF STORYTELLING RESULT IN A HILARIOUS INTERPLAY OF "UT !NDERSON S lLMS ARE NOT STRAIGHT FACED NONSENSE ONLY CONCERNED WITH STYLE %VEN IN /R MAYBE !NDERSON IS BETTER 4HE ,IFE !QUATIC HIS MOST KNOWN FOR HIS VISUAL TRAITS 3ETTING SURREAL FEATURE THERE IS STILL A STRONG A NEW STANDARD WITH 4HE 2OYAL 4EN HUMAN ELEMENT TOO &OLLOWING A
4RIVIA
GROUP OF MARINE BIOLOGISTS WHO SET OUT TO lND AN ELUSIVE SEA CREATURE CAPTAIN 3TEVE :ISSOU STILL PINES FOR HIS EX WIFE !S WITH MANY CHARAC TERS IN !NDERSON lLMS THERE IS AN UNDERCURRENT OF PERSONAL GRIEF AND DISILLUSIONMENT MASKED BY AMUS
ING UNDERSTATED DIALOGUE AND AN EMOTIONALLY DETACHED FRONT 3O WHAT MAKES A 7ES !NDER SON lLM 0ROBABLY A LOT OF !MERI CAN %XPRESS CARDS $ON T FORGET TO SEE 4HE $ARJEELING ,IMITED !NDER SON S LATEST lLM WHICH WILL BE OUT
IN CINEMAS SHORTLY 4HE lLM STARS HIMSELF ALONGSIDE !DRIEN "RODY AND *ASON 3HWARTZMAN WHO PLAY THREE BROTHERS TRAVELLING ACROSS )N DIA .EEDLESS TO SAY IT LOOKS VERY PROMISING :AK +LEIN
/THER 3CREENS
7IN $AYS OF
.IGHT 'OODIES
$AYS OF .IGHT $IR $AVID 3LADE 2ELEASED )N A LONG LINE OF COMIC BOOK TO MOVIE ADAPTATIONS $AYS OF .IGHT SHOWS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN VAMPIRES INVADE A SMALL !LASKAN TOWN THAT GETS NO SUNLIGHT FOR DAYS OF THE YEAR 3HERIFF %BEN /LESON *OSH (ARTNETT SPENDS THE FIRST THIRD OF THE MOVIE INVESTIGATING CRIMES THAT SUGGEST THE SMALL TOWN IS CUT OFF FROM THE OUTSIDE WORLD AND THE REST OF IT TRYING TO ESCAPE VAMPIRES WHILST MENDING RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS WITH HIS ESTRANGED WIFE 3TELLA -ELISSA
'EORGE 3ADLY THE FILM DOESN T DO AN YTHING WITH THE UNIQUE SETTING 4HE VAMPIRES RANSACK THE ENTIRE TOWN IN ONE NIGHT AND THERE S NO TENSION TO KEEP THE AUDIENCE ENGAGED WITH THE CHARACTERS SUR VIVAL LET ALONE THE NON EXISTENT CHEMISTRY BETWEEN (ARTNETT AND 'EORGE $IRECTOR $AVID 3LADE SHOWS SOME PROMISE IN THE GORE SPECIAL EFFECTS BUT LIKE THE VAMPIRES THE FILM LACKS A SOUL *EREMIAH #HIN
$EATH AT A &UNERAL $IR &RANK /Z 2ELEASED &RANK /Z HAS CERTAINLY MADE ANOTHER AMUSING COMEDY IN THE SHAPE OF $EATH AT A &UNERAL !S ONE COULD IMAGINE FROM THE TITLE CHAOS ENSUES WHEN ONE OF THE GUESTS REVEALS A CLANDESTINE SECRET ABOUT THE @DEARLY DEPARTED PA TRIARCH OF A HILARIOUSLY DYSFUNC TIONAL FAMILY 4HIS NEW "RITISH COMEDY FROM THE RECENTLY RE OPENED %ALING 3TUDIOS CERTAINLY HAS A STRONG PEDIGREE BEHIND IT BUT THANKFULLY MANAGES TO CAPTURE SOME OF THE
FARCICAL GENIUS FEATURED IN SUCH CLASSICS AS +IND (EARTS AND #ORO NETS THROUGH ITS BALANCE OF HIGH AND LOWBROW COMEDY 4HE MOSTLY "RITISH ENSEMBLE CAST WILL BE FAMILIAR TO MOST BUT CRUCIALLY IT WORKS AS THE FAMILY TURMOIL OVERSHADOWS THE FUNERAL AND PROPELS THE CHARACTERS INTO INCREASINGLY AWKWARD BUT HILARI OUS SITUATIONS $ESPITE THE ODD GAG THE lLM MANAGES TO BE A LOT MORE ENJOYABLE THAN ITS TITLE WOULD SUGGEST 7ILL (EPPA
7E HAVE BRILLIANT GOODIE PACKS FOR YOU TO SINK YOUR TEETH INTO WHICH INCLUDE A BEANIE HAT TORCH KEY RING AND LONG SLEEVED T SHIRT /NE LUCKY WINNER WILL ALSO GET A COPY OF THE GRAPHIC NOVEL &OR YOUR CHANCE TO WIN AN SWER THE FOLLOWING QUES TION 1 7HICH !USTRALIAN ARTIST ILLUSTRATED THE GRAPHIC NOV ELS !NSWER .AME %MAIL 0OP YOUR ANSWERS INTO THE #ONCRETE OFlCE BY TH .OV
)NTO 4HE 7ILD !CESS !LL !REAS 7ITH 3EAN 0ENN S NEXT DIRECTORIAL VENTURE )NTO 4HE 7ILD SOON TO BE RELEASED 4HE %VENT GIVES YOU A SNEEK PEEK REVIEW OF THE lLM AND SOME OF THE QUICK lRE QUESTIONS POSED BY REVIEWER %MMA &EATHERSTONE AT ITS NATIONAL PRESS CONFERENCE $IRECTED BY 3EAN 0ENN )NTO THE 7ILD EXPLORES THE TRUE LIFE JOURNEY OF #HRISTOPHER -C#ANDLESS *UST GRADUATED AND DISILLUSIONED WITH HIS LIFE #HRISTOPHER ABANDONS ANY RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS ESTRANGED PARENTS DONATES HIS LAW SCHOOL FUND TO CHARITY AND HEADS
OUT ON THE ROAD SEEKING hAN !LASKAN ADVENTURE v !S -C#ANDLESS %MILE (IRSCH SHOWS ACTING DEXTERITY PLAYING A PERSON JUDGED BY OTHERS AS BEING PERSONABLE PLAYFUL AND SENSITIVE DESPITE HIS ALIENATING IDEOLOGIES -OREOVER HIS RELATIONSHIPS WITH
-C#ANDLESS@S STORY HAS BECOME SOMETHING OF A LEGEND IN THE 53 HOW DID YOU GIVE ITS HUMANITY 3EAN 0ENN ) M DElNITELY ANTI LEGEND AND ) WANTED TO CREATE A CON NECTION WITH -C#ANDLESS S CHARACTER &OR ME WRITING IS NEITHER A CAU TIOUS NOR POLITE ENTERPRISE ) WENT THROUGH COMPLEX EMOTIONS OVER THE FAULTS OF HIS PARENTS PEOPLE WHOM IN CREATING THE lLM ) HAD GROWN TO KNOW AND LIKE 7AS THERE A SENSE OF PERSONAL GROWTH THROUGHOUT lLMING %MILE (IRSCH ) GAINED A CURIOSITY ABOUT THE WORLD AFTER SEEING MORE OF IT AND GREATER ENDURANCE 3TUNTS WERE TOUGH ESPECIALLY WITH SOMEONE SO COMMITTED TO THEIR PROFESSION BESIDE ME ) COULDN T TURN TO THE DIRECTOR AND SAY hWELL YOU WOULDN T DO THATv 4EN YEARS AFTER -C#ANDLESS S STORY WAS REPORTED DO YOU BELIEVE THE lLM STILL HAS A RELEVANT MESSAGE 3EAN 0ENN 4HE MESSAGE IS h$O YOU WANT TO REALLY LIVE v &OR TODAY S YOUTH IT S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SPENDING YEARS ON @&ACEBOOK AND NEVER LIVING A DAY OF IT OR REALLY EXPLORING WHAT LIFE HAS TO OFFER
CHARACTERS MET DURING HIS TRAVELS ARE OFTEN CLEVERLY EMOTIVE PARTIC ULARLY WITH OLDER WOMAN *AN 0A RENTAL PARALLELS ARE DRAWN BETWEEN HER DEVESTATION OVER HER MISSING SON AND THE SOFTENING OF #HRISTO PHER S PARENTS ICY EXTERIOR IN THEIR SENSE OF LOSS
7ITH BRILLIANT ACTING AND AT TENTION TO DETAIL COUPLED WITH THE BEAUTIFUL !LASKAN SCENERY )NTO 4HE 7ILD HAS MUCH TO COMMEND IT !T TIMES HOWEVER THE MOOD OF EARNESTNESS CAN CAUSE THE STORY TO DRAG 4HAT SAID 0ENN S DIRECTION IS HIGHLY THOUGHT PROVOKING POWER
FULLY EVOKING THE STRENGTH OF -C #ANDLESS AMBITIONS TOGETHER WITH THEIR DEVASTATING REALITIES )NTO 4HE 7ILD IS OUT IN CINEMAS ON &RIDAY TH .OVEMBER
$6$ 2ELEASES
4HE 'OOD 'ERMAN $IR 3TEVEN 3ODERBERGH 4HIS LATEST OFFERING FROM 3TEVEN 3O DERBERGH SEES 'EORGE #LOONEY PLAY ING A WAR CORRESPONDENT IN POST .AZI 'ERMANY WHO BECOMES EMBROILED IN A PLOT INVOLVING BLACK MARKET THIEVERY AND 'ERMAN SCIENTISTS 4HE 'OOD 'ERMAN IS PUSHED AS A S STYLE lLM USING THE SAME PRO DUCTION STYLE AND lLMIC VIEWS SUCH AS IN A MOVIE LIKE #ASABLANCA RATHER THAN SOMETHING MORE CONTEMPO RARY )N FACT MUCH OF THE lLM IS VERY SIMILAR TO #ASABLANCA SPECIlCALLY 4HOUGH THIS IS AN INTERESTING IDEA IT
ULTIMATELY HOLDS THE lLM BACK 7HILST 3ODERBERGH HAS CREATED AN INTERESTING PIECE OF CINEMATIC ART WHICH CAN APPRECIATED BY NOSTALGIC lLM BUFFS THE ARTISTIC STYLE HOLDS BACK THE PLOT AND THE ACTORS WHEN 'EORGE #LOONEY AND #ATE "LANCHETT SEEM WOODEN SOMETHING IS SERI OUSLY WRONG 4HE 'OOD 'ERMAN IS AN INTEREST ING EXPERIMENT ATTEMPTING TO REC REATE AN OLDER STYLE OF CINEMA 4HE PLOT RAISES INTERESTING POINTS BUT THEN FRUSTRATINGLY IGNORES THEM SO THAT ULTIMATELY IT JUST SEEMS LIFELESS !NDY *UDSON
/CEAN S 4HIRTEEN
$IE (ARD
$IR 3TEVEN 3ODERBERGH
$IR ,EN 7ISEMAN
!FTER SWINDLING 2EUBEN %LLIOT 'OULD OUT OF MOST OF HIS MONEY 7ILLIE "ANK !L 0ACINO IS THE UNFOR TUNATE RECIPIENT OF THE /CEAN TEAM S REVENGE ! WELCOME RETURN TO ,AS 6EGAS COMBINED WITH 0ACINO S STAR TURN AS "ANK MAKES THIS A FAR SUPERI OR lLM TO /CEAN S 4WELVE 4HE MAJOR HIGHLIGHT IS THE ONSCREEN CHEMISTRY BETWEEN #LOONEY 0ITT AND $AMON &ANS WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED +IMBERLEY 7ALSH
4OUGH COP *OHN -C#LANE "RUCE 7ILLIS IS BACK AND TEAMS UP WITH A YOUNG COMPUTER HACKER *USTIN ,ONG 4HEIR AIM 4O STOP A TERROR IST ORGANISATION HEADED BY 4HOMAS 'ABRIEL 4IMOTHY /LYPHANT FROM USING MODERN TECHNOLOGY SUCH AS THE INTERNET TO SHUT DOWN !MERI CA S MAJOR UTILITIES AND COMMUNI CATIONS 4WELVE YEARS AFTER $IE (ARD 7ITH ! 6ENGEANCE HOPES WERE NOT UNI VERSALLY HIGH FOR THIS lLM 3URELY SUCH A LONG INTERMISSION BETWEEN
lLMS WOULD SUGGEST A PAUCITY OF IDEAS BUT THANKFULLY $IE (ARD DELIVERS IN SPADES EVERYTHING YOU WOULD EXPECT FROM A lLM WITH $IE (ARD IN THE TITLE -ASSIVE EXPLO SIONS HIGH OCTANE STUNTS AND FAST AND FURIOUS HAND TO HAND lGHTS COMBINE TO PRODUCE THE PICK OF ALL THREE $IE (ARD SEQUELS 4HE ONLY NEGATIVE POINT OF THE lLM IS /LYPHANT WHO IS RATHER BLAND AS THE VILLAIN n !LAN h6ER AR MEIN DETONATORS 2ICKMAN S TITLE AS BEST $IE (ARD VILLAIN IS SAFE FOR A WHILE YET 'EORGE 'ILBERT
4HE 1UICK AND 4HE $EAD
&OR SOME TIME THE 7ESTERN AS A GENRE HAS NOT BEEN ENTIRELY TAKEN SERIOUSLY (OWEVER WITH A PLETHORA OF NEW lLMS THIS YEAR THE GENRE HAS TAKEN ON A NEW LEASE OF LIFE !NDY *ONES EXAMINES THE GENESIS OF THIS COMPLEX PART OF CINEMA HISTROY
4
HE 7ESTERN IS ONE OF THE GREATEST GENRES OF !MERICAN CINEMA BUT THEY HAVE NEVER BEEN TRULY BEEN TAKEN SERI OUSLY BY STUDIOS CRITICS OR ACTORS )T IS PERHAPS BECAUSE OF THIS PERCEPTION THAT THEY CAN TELL US MORE ABOUT !MERICAN CULTURE THAN OTHER GENRES AND SO CAREFUL TREAD ING ENSUES 7HEN SOMEONE IS AWARE THEY ARE COMMUNICATING A DEEPER MESSAGE THEY WILL BE CAREFUL OF WHAT THEY SAY HOWEVER THEY WILL BE LUCID AND FREER WHEN THEY DO NOT BELIEVE THEY ARE BEING TAKEN SERIOUSLY -OST PEOPLE WOULD DElNE A 7ESTERN AS A lLM SET IN THE !MERI CAN WEST BUT THIS IS NOT THE CASE 4HE $IE (ARD SERIES 3EVEN 3AMURAI AND $IRTY (ARRY ARE ALL EXAMPLES OF WESTERNS %QUALLY lLMS SET IN THE !MERICAN WEST ARE NOT NECESSAR ILY 7ESTERNS 7HAT REALLY DElNES A 7ESTERN IS HOW IT TELLS A STORY HOW THE CHARACTERS DEVELOP AND WHAT IT TRIES TO SAY 4HE BEST WAY TO DESCRIBE HOW THE STORY IS TOLD IN A WESTERN IS BY ANAL OGY )F WE IMAGINE THE STORY TO BE SAND CUPPED IN A PAIR OF HANDS IT WILL BE ALLOWED TO ESCAPE AT lRST AS A VERY SMALL TRICKLE )T WILL S E E M LIKE AN ETERNITY AS THE INDIVIDUAL GRAINS SLIDE AWAY BUT SLOWLY AND SURELY T H E TRICKLE WILL BECOME A STEADY STREAM AS THE SAND BEGINS TO GATHER PACE AND THEN SUDDENLY JUST AS THE SAND IS mOWING FREELY OUT OF THE HAND IT WILL STOP 4HE PACE OF THE STORYTELLING IS VI TAL IN 7ESTERNS 4HE LENGTHY PAUSES AND BURSTS OF ACTION ARE MUCH MORE THAN A WAY OF KEEPING YOU ON THE EDGE OF YOUR SEAT )N 4HE 'OOD 4HE "AD AND 4HE 5GLY THE CLIMAX COMES AFTER FOUR MINUTES OF SILENCE AND CLOSE UPS ON THE THREE PROTAGONISTS FACES 4HIS PAUSE WHICH SEEMS TO STRETCH TO AN ETERNITY IS AN ATTEMPT TO COMMUNICATE THE EMPTINESS OF
h4HE PACE OF THE STORYTELL ING IS VITAL IN WESTERNS 4HE LENGTHY PAUSES AND BURSTS OF ACTION ARE MUCH MORE THAN A WAY OF KEEPING YOU ON THE EDGE OF YOUR SEAT v THE THREE GUNSLINGERS LIVES 4HEY ARE DElNED NOT BY THEIR MUTUAL DESIRE TO KILL EACH OTHER WHICH IS ALL THEIR LIVES HAVE BECOME BUT THE FACT THAT THEY ARE NO LONGER NORMAL PEOPLE CAPABLE OF NOR MAL LIVES THEY ARE SIMPLY KILLERS /NE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT FEA TURES OF WESTERN lLMS IS ITS CHARAC TERISATION 7ITH VERY FEW EXCEP TIONS THE LEAD IN A WESTERN IS MASCULINITY PERSONI lED 4HEY HAVE IN THE PAST PORTRAYED THE ALL !MERICAN HERO A TOUGH AND RESOURCE FUL LONER WHO HAS AHEALTHY DISREGARD FOR RULES AND CON VENTION OR OFTEN GUNSLINGERS OR BANDITS WITH A SCORE TO SETTLE AND A STORY TO TELL 4HE PROTAGONISTS BACK STORY IS REVEALED IN A VERY SIM ILAR WAY TO HOW THE STORY IS TOLD "ITS AND PIECES OF THE CHARACTERS HISTORY ARE REVEALED THROUGH mASHBACKS AND ANECDOTES BUILDING TO OFTEN CRUCIAL REVELATIONS ABOUT WHY THEY ARE DO ING WHAT THEY ARE DOING 4HE PORTRAYAL OF THE HERO HAS GROWN AS 7ESTERNS HAVE DEVEL OPED FROM THE CLEAN CUT IMAGE OF *OHN 7AYNE THROUGH TO THE UN COMPROMISING ANTIHEROES OF #LINT
%ASTWOOD )N CONTEMPORARY WEST ERNS 2USSELL #ROWE AND "RAD 0ITT HAVE PLAYED EMOTIONALLY mAWED CHARACTERS CAPABLE OF INCREDIBLY CRUELTY AT THE SAME TIME AS BEING GENIAL AND CHARMING 4HESE ROLES DEMONSTRATE EXACTLY WHAT WESTERNS ARE AND HOW THEY HAVE CHANGED /VER THE LAST ONE HUNDRED YEARS THE 7ESTERN HAS MANAGED TO CON STANTLY RE INVENT ITSELF )T HAS MIR RORED THE TRENDS AND PREJUDICES OF THE TIME )N ITS EARLIER MANIFESTA TIONS 7ESTERNS WERE USED AS A WAY OF EXCUSING OR JUSTIFYING THE TREAT MENT OF MINORITIES AND THE TRANS FORMATION OF THE 'REAT 0LAINS 4HE .ATIVE !MERICANS WERE PORTRAYED AS A CRUDE AND WAR LIKE PEOPLE WHO WANTED NOTHING MORE THAN TO DECAPITATE THE NOBLE FRONTIERS MEN .ATIVE !MERICANS WERE VILI
lED TO SUCH AN EXTENT THAT -ARLON "RANDO SENT 3ACHEEN ,ITTLEFEATHER A PART !PACHE WOMAN TO REFUSE HIS /SCAR FOR "EST !CTOR IN PROTEST AT (OLLYWOOD S TREATMENT OF .ATIVE !MERICANS !S !MERICA BEGAN TO ADDRESS THE PROBLEM OF RACE IN THE S AND S SO WESTERNS BECAME MORE SO PHISTICATED WITH THE GROWTH OF 2EVI SIONIST lLMS 2EVISIONISTS BEGAN TO QUESTION ALL THE CRUCIAL HALLMARKS OF WESTERNS AND ASKING WHETHER THEY COULD BE PORTRAYED IN A MUCH MORE REALISTIC WAY )NCREASINGLY INSTEAD OF HEROES OUTLAWS BECAME VICIOUS AND BLOODTHIRSTY CRIMINALS )NDIANS BECAME DESPERATE PEOPLE TRYING TO CURB THE UNSTOPPABLE TIDE OF SETTLERS AND THE GREAT !MERICAN 7EST WENT FROM BEING A GOLDEN AGE OF OPPOR TUNITY TO A PERIOD WHERE THERE WERE
TWO TYPES OF PEOPLE THE QUICK AND THE DEAD 4HE FACT THAT !MERICA IS POR TRAYED AS A NATION FOUNDED UPON VIOLENCE DEATH AND RACIAL EXTERMI NATION IS TO MISS THE CRUCIAL POINT OF 7ESTERNS IMPACT ON !MERICAN SOCIETY )T IS THE FACT THAT !MERICA PRODUCES SUCH A SEEMINGLY HONEST SELF DEPICTION OF ITS OWN COMPLEX HISTORY THAT MARKS OUT THE 7ESTERN 4HE WESTERN IS AN ATTEMPT TO COM MUNICATE WHAT !MERICA STANDS FOR AND AS THIS HAS CHANGED OVER THE LAST ONE HUNDRED YEARS SO HAVE 7ESTERNS 7HERE WE USED TO HAVE A NATION AND GENRE THAT STOOD FOR THE HEROIC STRUGGLE TO FULlL ITS MANIFEST DESTINY WE HAVE NOW HAVE ONE THAT RECOGNISES IT HAS A COMPLEX HISTORY BASED UPON BUT NOT DElNED BY VIO LENCE RACISM AND EXPLOITATION
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4HIS .OVEMBER IS ARGUABLY THE BEST IN THE HIS TORY OF VIDEO GAMING WITH HUGELY ANTICIPATED GAMES SUCH AS -ARIO 'ALAXY #RYSIS !SSASSIN S #REED #ALL OF $UTY 2ATCHET AND #LANK ,AIR AND 5NREAL 4OURNAMENT )) ALL RELEASED IN THE NEXT TWO WEEKS 4HE MAIN CRITICISM OF THE 7II SO FAR IS A LACK OF TOP NOTCH lRST PARTY GAMES BUT -ARIO 'ALAXY AR RIVES ON THE TH AND LOOKS SET TO BE ONE OF THE GAMES TO DElNE THE EARLY YEARS OF THE CONSOLE S LIFE ! RETURN TO THE STYLE OF -ARIO APPEARS TO BE ON THE CARDS AND IF THERE S ONE GENRE THAT .IN TENDO HAVE DONE CONSISTENTLY WELL IT S PLATFORMING 4HE #ALL OF $UTY GAMES THE )NlNITY 7ARD SORT HAVE AMASSED A HUGE FOLLOWING SO FAR AND WITH THE LEAP TO THE MODERN DAY COMPLETED #ALL OF $UTY -ODERN 7ARFARE OUT TH .OVEMBER LOOKS LIKE A MUST OWN FOR ANY lRST PERSON SHOOTER FANATIC !LSO IN THE &03 CATEGORY #RY SIS THE 0# MELTER FROM THE PEOPLE BEHIND &AR #RY AND THE BEST LOOKING GAME AROUND BY QUITE SOME DISTANCE EMERGES ON THE TH AND HAS ALL THE HALLMARKS OF GAME OF THE YEAR &OR 3ONY IT S A BIG MONTH TOO BOTH 2ATCHET AND #LANK 4OOLS OF $ESTRUCTION TH AND , ! ) 2 TH ARE HUGE PRODUCTS AND WHILE REVIEWS OF , ! ) 2 CITE POOR CONTROLS AS THE DOWNSIDE TO &ACTOR S OF 2OGUE 3QUADRON FAME DRAGON mYING ADVENTURE 2ATCHET AND #LANK ON THE OTHER HAND HAS BEEN SCORING BRILLIANTLY ACROSS THE BOARD !S WELL AS BEING THE 03 S BEST LOOKING GAME TO DATE IT RETAINS THE HUMOUR AND FUN OF THE PREVIOUS GAMES IN THE SERIES -IKE (AZELTON
'AMING 'REATS
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4HE FEEL OF THE GUN IN YOUR HAND THE SOUND OF BULLETS mYING AROUND YOU THAT lRST KILL .O IT S NOT A NIGHT OUT IN ,ONDON IT S THE CLASSIC ARCADE GAME 4IME #RISIS 4WELVE YEARS AGO 4IME #RISIS WAS A NEW AND VERY DIFFERENT CONCEPT OF GAMING !N AR CADE GAME THAT LET THE PLAYER PHYSICALLY AIM AND SHOOT SEEMED SO COOL THAT EVEN HOLDING A GOOFY PINK PLASTIC GUN WITH A STUPIDLY LONG CORD ATTACHED WHILST HAVING TO STAND HOLDING YOUR FOOT ON A PEDAL DIDN T DETER FROM THE EX PERIENCE NOR THE P PRICE OF ADMISSION 4HE BEAUTY OF 4IME #RISIS WAS THAT THE PLAYER DIDN T CONTROL POSITIONING WITHIN THE LEVEL INSTEAD HAVING TO STAND AND WAIT ANX IOUSLY FOR 2ICHARD -ILLER THE CHARACTER TO MOVE INTO PLACE !N INNOVATIVE FOOT PEDAL AL LOWED FOR HIS HEAD TO POP UP FROM BEHIND A TURNED OVER TABLE OR A CAR TO LET RIP AT THE CRIMINALS THE EXPERIENCE OFTEN SO IMMERSIVE THAT PLAYERS WOULD PHYSICALLY DUCK WHILST
PLAYING UNCONSCIOUSLY MIRRORING THE ACTION ONSCREEN 4HE OMINOUS COUNTDOWN CLOCK COUPLED WITH NECESSARY FREQUENT PAUSES TO SHOOT OUT SIDE THE SCREEN AND RELOAD MAINTAINED A SENSE OF TENSION AND URGENCY THROUGHOUT EACH STAGE 4HE STORY CENTRED ON A lCTIONAL CITY CALLED 3ER CIA AND AN ATTEMPTED COUP )N A WONDERFULLY TACKY PLOT THE NEW PRESIDENT S DAUGHTER IS KIDNAPPED AND YOU AS 2ICHARD -ILLER HAVE TO SAVE HER FROM A MERCENARY CALLED 7ILD $OG !S THE SERIES PROGRESSED IT BECAME ONE OF THE EARLIEST GAMES TO INTRODUCE TEAM PLAY WHERE MORE THAN ONE PERSON COULD STAND AT THE ARCADE MACHINE AND lRE AT THE VILLAINS ON SCREEN 4HIS WAS THE lRST @REAL INTERACTIVE GAME THAT ENDED UP STARTING A REVOLUTION IN ARCADE AND lRST PERSON GAMING THAT REACHED OUR HOMES !S A WHOLE 4IME #RISIS OPENED UP A NEW ERA OF GAMING BY GIVING THE PLAYER MORE CON TROL AND PLACING THEIR CHARACTER S FATE DIRECTLY IN THEIR GUN SHOOTING HAND 3COTT #HARMAN
7IRED HAS JOINED THE &ACEBOOK BANDWAGON AND IS NOW THE PROUD OWNER OF ITS OWN GROUP n (OT 7IRED &OLLOW THE LINK JOIN UP AT HTTP UEA FACEBOOK COM GROUP PHP GID REF MF AND THROUGH THE POWER OF THE )NTERNET WE WILL BE ABLE TO EXPAND OUR REACHES FROM A HUMBLE SINGLE PAGE OF 4HE %VENT TO AN UNPRECEDENTED FORCE OF SCALE AND POWER ON LINEx PERHAPS !CCORDING TO USERS OF TICKBOX NET CYBERTHEFT RANKS AS THE MOST FEARED CRIME IN THE 5+ RANKING HIGHER IN AN ONLINE POLL THAN BURGLARY ASSAULT AND ROB BERY 4HE STUDY ALSO SUGGESTED THAT AS MANY AS ONE IN THREE PEOPLE HAS BEEN AFFECTED BY CYBERCRIME SUCH AS FRAUDULENT EMAILS AND BANK TRANSFERS (OWEVER IT IS PERHAPS WORTH NOTING THAT THE RESEARCH WAS COMMISSIONED BY A SECURITY SOFTWARE PUBLISHER 7ATCH YOUR LAPTOPS ! MAN IN &LORIDA CALLED %RIC !LMLY IS CURRENTLY UNDER INVESTIGATION FOR THE THEFT OF OVER LAPTOPS ACROSS THE 53 4HE SERIAL LAPTOP THIEF HAS BEEN DUBBED THE @KHAKI BANDIT AFTER HIS MODUS OPERANDI n CASUALLY DRESSING AND ACTING LIKE AN EMPLOYEE OF THE COMPANY HE TARGETS BEFORE WALKING OUT THE DOOR WITH HAULS OF UP TO A DOZEN LAPTOPS STUFFED IN HIS BAG AT ONCE 2EAD THE FULL STORY HERE HTTP WWW SPTIMES COM "USINESS (ERE?S? HOW?A?SLICK?LA SHTML &INALLY THE PROCRASTINATOR S CORNER AND TODAY WE SHARE WITH YOU THE JOYS OF ONLINE SLOGAN GEN ERATORS $EVON KNOWS HOW THEY MAKE IT SO CREAMY &ROM THE mASHY ANNOYING JINGLE OF HAVEASLOGAN COM TO THE $)9 AESTHETIC OF THESURREALIST CO UK SLOGAN HAVE FUN CREATING YOUR OWN UNFORGETTABLE CATCH PHRASES !ND PLEASE BE AWARE THEY ARE NOT AT ALL FUNNY WHEN YOU INSERT RUDE WORDS LECTURER S NAMES INTO THEM .OT AT ALL -IKE -OORE
#ROSSWORD
Sponsored by:
!CROSS
$OWN
4HIN @PRETTY BIATCHES x2EPUBLIC 0RAGUE IS THE CAPITAL CITY 0ASTA DISH 3ATURDAY NIGHT AT THE 7A TERFRONT #HEESE NAMES AFTER A HIS TORIC REGION OF &RANCE 4URKISH JUNK FOOD ,EAVE OUT #URVED SWORD 3ENSATIONALIST NEWSPAPER 3ECOND LARGEST COUNTRY IN !FRICA 5NIVERSITY TESTS 0LAYER OF WOODEN PERCUS SION INSTRUMENT
#OUNTRY OFTEN MISTAKEN FOR 5%! ACCR +NUCKLES THE x %AST !FRICAN COUNTRY ! MEASURE OF MEDICINE ,ION TIGER CROSS BREED 0RECIOUS STONE 3UMMER x EVENT FOR YOUTHS !N UNTRUTH ! LIVING DEAD PERSON 7HERE DRINKS ARE DISPENSED ,INES ON WEATHER MAPS x 7ILDE AUTHOR 4O CONNECT SOMETHING x 4ROUSERS -ADNESS SONG (EARING ORGAN 4OWN ON ,ONDON TO .ORWICH MAINLINE
3UDOKU with
The Avenue Bookshop 21 Avenue Road, Norwich 01603 768720 Open 10am - 5pm, Mon to Sat
4O BE IN WITH A CHANCE OF WINNING A a VOUCHER TO SPEND AT 4HE !VENUE "OOKSHOP BRING YOUR COMPLETED ENTRY TO THE #ONCRETE OFlCE BY
.AME %MAIL
(OW TO %NTER
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)N ORDER TO ENTER COMPETITIONS JUST lLL IN YOUR NAME AND EMAIL ADDRESS AND TAKE IT TO THE #ONCRETE OFlCE UPSTAIRS IN 5NION (OUSE /NCE IN THE (IVE GO UP THE STAIRS AND TURN BACK ON YOURSELF TO THE LEFT 4URN RIGHT BEFORE THE GLASS DOORS TO THE 5NION OFlCES AND THROUGH THE SINGLE DOOR BEFORE CONTINUING DOWN THE CORRIDOR 4URN RIGHT AT THE END THROUGH THE DOOR AND THE #ONCRETE OFlCE IS IMMEDIATELY ON YOUR LEFT 3EE MAP ON LEFT
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0RIZE 1UIZ 7HAT IS THE NAME OF THE FORMER ,IVEWIRE $* NOW ON 2ADIO /NE
7HICH YEAR OLD MADE A TRY SCORING DEBUT FOR THE 'REAT "RITAIN 2UGBY ,EAGUE SIDE TWO WEEKS AGO
%WE WILL WANT TO GET YOUR HANDS ON SOME OF OUR "LACK 3HEEP GOODIES
7HAT IS THE CAPITAL CITY OF ,UXEMBOURG
&IND SOMETHING DIFFERENT THIS #HRISTMAS AT "ORDERS "ORDERS HAVE THE LARGEST SELECTION OF BOOKS MAGAZINES #$S AND $6$S IN .ORWICH &IND THEM IN #HAPELlELD 4O BE IN WITH A CHANCE OF WINNING A a "ORDERS VOUCHER BRING AT LEAST ONE lLLED IN 3UDOKU TO THE #ONCRETE OFlCE BY
.AME %MAIL
4HIS WEEK THE PRIZES ALL CONCERN THE NEW lLM RELEASE "LACK 3HEEP %IGHT RUNNERS UP WILL RECEIVE A "LACK 3HEEP T SHIRT AND STRESS BUSTING TOY SHAPED LIKE A SHEEP WHILE ONE LUCKY WINNER WILL GET A T SHIRT AND A "LACK 3HEEP POSTER SIGNED BY THE DIRECTOR )N ORDER TO BE IN WITH A CHANCE OF WINNING HAND IN YOUR COMPLETED QUIZ AND CONTACT DETAILS TO THE #ONCRETE OFlCE BY
7HO DIRECTED THE RECENT lLM "LACK 3HEEP
.AME
7HICH "RITISH OVERSEAS TERRITORY HAS THE HIGHEST SHEEP TO PERSON RATIO IN THE WORLD