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!RTS #OMPUTING #REATIVE 7RITING &ASHION &ILM -USIC 4ELEVISION
THE EVENT
4IED TO THE S )SSUE 0,53
(EROES 3UMMER "LOCKBUSTERS 4HE 9OUNG +NIVES
$ISTRIBUTION -ANAGER #ONCRETE 6!#!.#9 &/2 0!24 4)-% ./27)#( !PPLICATIONS ARE INVITED FOR THE POST OF $ISTRIBUTION -ANAGER #ONCRETE FOR THE PERIOD 3EPTEMBER TO -AY 4HE ROLE IS OPEN TO ANY STUDENT AT 5%! AND INVOLVES CO ORDI NATING THE DISTRIBUTION OF THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER ONCE A FORTNIGHT DURING TERM TIME 3UCCESSFUL CANDIDATES WILL BE HIGHLY RELIABLE AND ORGANISED ! FULL CLEAN DRIVING LICENSE IS ESSENTIAL 0LEASE SEND A #6 AND COVERING LETTER FOR THE ATTENTION OF THE %DITOR !NNA 3TEWARD TO #ONCRETE 0/ "/8 .ORWICH .2 4" #LOSING DATE FOR APPLICATIONS TH -AY
#ONTENTS &ASHION
-USIC
0LASTIC FANTASTIC 7E EXAMINE THE PROS AND CONS OF THE NEW MUST HAVE BAG &ESTIVAL &EVER IN &ASHION PLUS WHAT S HOT AROUND CAMPUS
!RTS
)S CENSORSHIP STILL AN ISSUE ON THE MODERN STAGE 7E INVESTIGATE /NLINE ARTS ARTICLES AND .IGHT -OTHER REVIEWED
!LBUMS !RCTIC -ONKEYS 3WITCHES AND 4HE -ACCABEES REVIEWED 3INGLES 4HE RETURN OF 4HE #RIBS AND !SH PLUS 0AUL 3IMON ! #UT !BOVE 4HE 2EST 7E TALK TO A RATHER ANGRY 4HE 9OUNG +NIVES ,IVE 2EVIEWS -UMM 2A AND *AMIE 4 PLUS A SUMMER PREVIEW
&ILM
7E .EED ! (ERO 4HE HOTTEST SERIES TO HIT 46 THIS YEAR IS PREVIEWED WITH CHARACTER PROlLES TO BOOT PLUS .EIGHBOURS AND THIS WEEK S 46
7E FOCUS ON 4HE ,IVES OF /THERS AND REMEMBER !RNIE IN *UNIOR 3HOOTER &RACTURE AND !LPHA $OG REVIEWED 0ERFUME -ISS 0OTTER AND 3TARTER &OR REAPPEAR ON $6$ ! "LOCKBUSTING 3UMMER 7E LOOK FORWARD TO A SEASON OF SEQUELS
#REATIVE 7RITING
,ISTINGS
#OMPUTING
46
! SELECTION OF YOUR CONTRIBUTED CREATIONS
#ENTRE &EATURE
,ET S 'O 2ETRO 7E TAKE A MISTY EYED LOOK BACK AT THE DECADE THAT GAVE US 'LADIATORS THE "ACKSTREET "OYS AND 0USH 0OPS THE S
!PPLE S LATEST -ITCHELL AND 7EBB FRONTED CAMPAIGN HAS MADE US WONDER WHETHER THEY REALLY ARE BETTER 0LUS THE BEST WEBSITES WE VE FOUND THIS WEEK AND THE GAMING CLASSIC -ARIO 0ARTY
THE EVENT
#HRIS %DITORIAL (ELLO 3O HERE WE ARE THEN 4HE lNAL ISSUE OF THE YEAR 7HILE THIS MAY NOT BE TOO MUCH BOTHER FOR YOU UNLESS YOU RE IN YOUR lNAL YEAR WHICH MEANS YOU LL PROBABLY BE HOWLING WITH ANGUISH AT NEVER BEING ABLE TO READ 4HE %VENT EVER AGAIN IT S QUITE SAD FOR ME ) VE BEEN AT THE HELM OF THE GOOD SHIP %VENT FOR THIRTEEN ISSUES NOW AND IT FEELS LIKE A SECOND HOME NOW OR SOMETHING ) VE THOROUGHLY ENJOYED EVERY PART OF WORKING ON THIS NEWSPAPER AND ALTHOUGH ) M PASSING THE TORCH ONTO THE MORE THAN CAPABLE AND RAVISHING -ISS "ILLINGS IT S STILL A MEMORABLE OCCASION )F YOU DON T LIKE TURGID AND SOPPY GOODBYES AT THE END OF lLMS THEN IT MIGHT BE BEST FOR YOU TO TURN THE PAGE TO THE FASHION SEC TION RIGHT NOW &IRSTLY MY THANKS GO TO &IONA 3HE S BEEN MY GLAMOROUS ASSIST ANT ALL THROUGH THE YEAR AND HAS MADE EVERY PRODUCTION WEEKEND A HELLA LOT EASIER FOR ME 7HETHER IT S WRITING A REVIEW AT THE LAST MINUTE PROOF READING ON THOSE TIMES WHEN ) REALLY CAN T BE BOTHERED OR DOING THE WHOLE ISSUE WHEN ESSAYS HAVE CASCADED ONTO ME LIKE A FRESH AVALANCHE SHE S BEEN NOTHING SHORT OF HELPFUL AT ALL TIMES AND THIS YEAR WOULD HAVE BEEN MUCH TOUGHER AND LESS FUN WITHOUT HER 3HE S GOING TO DO A CRACKING JOB NEXT YEAR AND ) KNOW THAT YOU RE GOING TO LOVE THE CHANGES SHE LL
BRING TO THE PAPER 4HANK YOU SO MUCH .EXT TO *UBBLY *UDDY (E WAS A COMPLETE STRANGER TO ME WHEN ) STARTED THIS YEAR AND ) D NOW LIKE TO THINK THAT WE RE @THICK AS THIEVES 7HETHER WE RE GEEKING IT UP TOGETHER OVER GAMES AND lLMS OR YELLING hTHAT S WHAT SHE SAIDv AT EACH OTHER WITH ALARMING REGULAR ITY !NDY AND ) SEEM TO SHARE THE SAME OUTLOOK ON LIFE AND PASSION FOR JOURNALISM AND HE S BECOME ONE OF MY CLOSEST FRIENDS IN 4HE %VENT 7HATEVER HE DOES NEXT IN THE #ONCRETE SOCIETY ) M SURE HE LL DO US PROUD /N TO 'REGORY 3ULLIVAN 4HIS MAN WAS ALSO A COMPLETE STRANGER FOR ME AND HE WAS SHROUDED IN MYSTERY DURING THE lRST PRODUC TION WEEKEND 7HO IS HE 7HAT S HE DOING 7HAT THE HELL SORT OF CLOTHES IS HE WEARING 9ET ) DISCOVERED THAT HE HAS A RAGING PASSION FOR ALL THINGS MUSICAL AND WE HAVE CHINWAGGED ABOUT VARIOUS BANDS FOR HOURS ON PRODUCTION WEEKENDS (E S A GREAT BLOKE THAT SOMEHOW MANAGES TO DO HIS FOUR PAGES IN HALF THE TIME IT TAKES FOR OTHERS TO DO TWO AND ) LL MISS SLAGGING BANDS OFF WITH HIM 'OOD LUCK WITH THE *IM $ANDY 7AGGONS AS WELL .EXT TO .ATASHA ) KNEW .ATA SHA FROM THE 46 SECTION LAST YEAR WHERE SHE D WOWED ME WITH HER ENTHUSIASM FOR ALL THINGS TELEVISUAL AND HER ACE TASTE IN PROGRAMMES
The!NNA 3TEWARD %DITOR IN #HIEF %DITOR #HRIS (YDE $EPUTY %DITOR &IONA "ILLINGS ,OST (EROES !LIAS ) M VERY GLAD ) MADE HER 46 EDITOR SHE S TAKEN THE SECTION FROM STRENGTH TO STRENGTH THROUGH VARIOUS COSMETIC MAKEO VERS AND IT NOWS LOOKS BETTER THAN EVER ) M LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING WHAT SHE LL DO TO THE lLM SECTION AND ) LL MISS TALKING ABOUT THE NEWEST EPISODES OF ,OST AND (EROES WITH HER 5MAY 3HE S MADE THE FASHION PAGES BETTER THAN ) COULD EVER HAVE HOPED FOR WITH EVERY ISSUE LOOKING NOTHING SHORT OF RUDDY MARVEL LOUS 4HE EFFORT SHE PUTS INTO EVERY PRODUCTION WEEKEND SHOWS IN EACH ISSUE AND HER ENTHUSIASM IS ONLY CHALLENGED BY HER SOMEWHAT ESOTERIC WARDROBE (ER CONSTANT SLAGGING OFF OF ME IS NOTHING SHORT OF ENDEARING AND ) LL MISS CALLING HER AN ABSOLUTE PRICK WHEN ) LEAVE AS WELL 4HERE S SO MANY OTHER PEOPLE ) NEED TO THANK *EMMA 2OANNA 2OWENA )MAN -IRANDA #ARINA !NNA ,OUIS -ARCUS *ANE BUT THERE S NO ROOM SO ) LL LEAVE YOU WITH THIS YOU RE ALL AMAZING 3O LONG AND THANKS FOR ALL THE MEMORIES
#HRIS
!RTS %DITORS 2OANNA "OND AND -IRANDA "RYANT #ONTRIBUTORS *ACK #LARK #HLOE 0EW ,ATTER
#OMPUTING %DITOR 2OWENA "ODDINGTON #ONTRIBUTORS &IONA "ILLINGS !LEX 0ARTRIDGE !LEX 2ODDIE
#REATIVE 7RITING %DITOR )MAN 3ID
#ONTRIBUTORS 4ULAY 'UNES *OE -ODUGNO 3OPHIE 0LAYLE 7ALTER 0LINGE
&ASHION %DITOR 5MAY +ALSOOM $EPUTY &ASHION %DITOR #ARINA 2IZVI #ONTRIBUTORS .ICOLA *ONES
&ILM %DITOR !NDY *UDSON
$EPUTY &ILM %DITOR ,YDIA -OSSAHEBI #ONTRIBUTORS "RENDAN !PPLETON +IERAN #ORNWELL #HRIS (YDE .ATASHA +UNDAIKER %STHER -ARTIN .ICK -ELLISH *OHN -UTCH 6IMBAI -UKWENHA
,ISTINGS #OMPETITIONS %DITOR *EMMA 4HAKE
-USIC %DITOR 'REG 3ULLIVAN
$EPUTY -USIC %DITOR ,EWIS -ORTON #ONTRIBUTORS &RANCIS (AMLYN #HRIS (YDE *OHN -UTCH .ICK 2EADING ,ORRAINE 3OUTHGATE 4IFFANY 7OOSLEY
46 %DITOR .ATASHA +UNDAIKER #ONTRIBUTOR +IERA / "RIEN
THE EVENT
&ASHION
) M NOT A PLASTIC BAG ARE YOU 4HIS FORTNIGHT 4HE %VENT FASHION SECTION EXPLORES THE FRENZY SURROUNDING THE LATEST MUST HAVE ACCESSORY THE !NYA (INDMARCH PLANET FRIENDLY h) M NOT A PLASTIC BAGv TOTE !T THE SAME TIME WE GIVE FASHIONISTAS A LITTLE SCI ENCE LESSON IN WHY THE POLYTHENE BAG HAS BEEN DEEMED AS THE ENEMY AND WHY PLASTIC IN THE 5+ IS FANTASTIC
4
HE LATEST FASHION CRAZE TO SWEEP FASHIONISTAS OFF THEIR FEET HAS BEEN THE DENOUNCE MENT OF PLASTIC BAGS "EARING THE WORDS h) M NOT A PLASTIC BAG v THE !NYA (INDMARCH CREAM EXTERIOR TOTE IS THIS YEAR S MUST HAVE FASH ION ACCESSORY AND COMES AT ONLY a !LL OF THE LIMITED EDI TION COTTON RE USABLE BAGS WERE SOLD OUT FROM ALL 3AINSBURY S STORES WITHIN AN HOUR 1UEUES OF CUSTOMERS WAITED WELL BEFORE STORE OPENING HOURS AND WERE DESIGNATED TICKETS TO SECURE THEIR PLACE FOR THE PURCHASE OF THE NON LEATHER TOTE 7ITHIN THE SAME HOUR THAT THE a BAGS WERE SOLD OUT THEY WERE QUICKLY MAKING DENTS ALMOST THE SIZE OF THE HOLE IN THE O ZONE LAYER IN THE POCKETS OF WANNABE FASH IONISTAS WHO LOGGED ON TO E"AY TO PURCHASE THE BAGS FOR AS MUCH AS a )T IS NO DOUBT QUESTION ABLE THAT THE PURCHASE OF THE BAGS WAS COMPLETELY FOR AESTHETIC PUR POSES AND NOT FOR THOSE WHO CARE MUCH ABOUT THE PLANET .EVERTHE LESS THE ,ONDON DESIGNER !NYA (INDMARCH HAS CHANGED THE FASH IONABLE METHOD OF ADVERTISING US ING THE BAGS AS MOVING BILLBOARDS PLACED ON TRENDY BODIES SEEN IN THE HIGH STREETS OF ,ONDON 0ARIS AND .EW 9ORK 7ITH THE SIMPLE WORDS OF h) M NOT A PLASTIC BAGv THEY AL LOW THE FASHION CONSCIOUS TO ACT DIFFERENTLY AND CORRECTLY WHILST BE ING COOL AND ADVERTISING A VERY IM
PORTANT MORAL MESSAGE FOR FREE "UT DO FASHIONISTAS ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT PLASTIC BAGS DO TO THE WORLD .OW FOR THE SCIENCE LESSON 2EUSABLEBAGS COM STATES THAT hCONSUMERS USE BETWEEN BIL LION AND TRILLION PLASTIC BAGS PER YEAR WORLDWIDE v 0LASTIC BAGS ARE MADE OF POLYTHENE AND NOT ONLY ARE THEY HAZARDOUS TO PRODUCE BUT THEY ALSO TAKE YEARS TO DECOMPOSE !S THEY DECOMPOSE THEY RELEASE POISONOUS MATERIALS INTO WATER AND SOIL 0LASTIC BAGS IN THE OCEAN CAN CHOKE AND STRANGLE WILDLIFE JUST AS COWS IN )NDIA ALSO CHOKE ON THEM 4HE .ATIONAL 'E OGRAPHIC STATES THAT hONE EXPERT PREDICTS THAT WITHIN TEN YEARS PLASTIC BAGS WILL WASH UP ON !NTARCTICA v 4HE EYESORE OF PLASTIC BAGS STUCK IN FENCES mOATING IN THE OCEAN AND CAUGHT IN BUSHES IS AN UNUSUAL ONE IN MOST COUNTRIES SUCH AS )RELAND WHERE SHOPPERS HAVE BEEN CHARGED P PER BAG SINCE EVER SINCE SHOPPERS HAVE BEEN RE USING THEIR PLASTIC BAGS )N THE 53 THE (OLLYWOOD STYLE PAPER OR NET BAGS THAT ARE FOREVER SEEN IN THE SITCOMS AND lLMS ARE ACTUALLY NOT AT ALL REPRE SENTATIVE OF REALITY AS PLASTIC BAGS ARE ACTUALLY MORE COM MONLY USED "ANGLADESH HAS HAD AN OUTRIGHT BAN ON THE PLASTIC BAG AFTER IT WAS DISCOV ERED THAT THEY WERE CLOGGING THE DRAINAGE SYSTEM AND CAUSED
THE mOODS OF THAT LEFT TWO THIRDS OF THE COUNTRY SUBMERGED IN WATER 4AIWAN HAS BANNED THE DIS TRIBUTION OF FREE BAGS CARRIER BAGS AND 3INGAPORE HAS SET UP A CAM PAIGN TO DISCOURAGE THEIR USE "UT THAT IS NOT TO SAY THAT PLASTIC BAGS DON T HAVE THEIR ADVANTAGES IN THE 5+ THEY ARE ONE OF THE MOST REUSED ITEMS AROUND THE HOUSE AS WE USE THEM TO LINE BINS SERVE AS GYM BAGS HOLD SCHOOL LUNCHES AND MUCH MORE )N THE DEBATE AGAINST PLASTIC BAGS AND THE NEED FOR A BIG GER PRODUCTION OF PAPER BAGS IT WOULD SEEM THAT THE PAPER BAG IS NOT REALLY THE IDEAL SOLUTION !C CORDING TO THE lLM AND BAG FEDERA TION PLASTIC BAGS REQUIRE PERCENT LESS ENERGY TO PRODUCE AND CAUSE PERCENT LESS AIR POLLUTION 0LAS TIC BAGS ALSO PRODUCE PERCENT LESS WASTE IN TO WATER 4HE GREATEST ADVANTAGE SEEN IN THE USE OF A PAPER BAG IS THAT THEY BREAK DOWN MORE EASILY AND DO NOT THREATEN WILDLIFE (OWEVER THE PAPER BAG IS NOT STRONG ENOUGH FOR THE "RITISH CLIMATE THAT REQUIRES A STRONG WATERPROOF PLASTIC BAG FOR WALKING HOME WITH THOSE GROCERIES 4HIS LEADS TO ONLY THREE POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS CHARGE CUSTOMERS A TAX FOR EVERY NEW PLASTIC BAG USED MAKE MORE BIODEGRADABLE PLASTIC BAGS OR USE A CLOTH TOTE 4HERE 4HE %VENT &ASHION (1 HAS SAVED THE PLANET IN A WHOLE DIFFERENT WAY AND IT WAS FREE
FASHION NEWS 0RIMARDA 0RIMARCHÏ 7HATEVER YOU LIKE TO CALL IT 0RIMARK HAS OPENED THE HUGE DOORS OF A MASSIVE SQ FT mAGSHIP STORE ON /XFORD 3TREET %VEN THOUGH IT SEEMS THAT WE ARE REPORTING ON THIS NEWS A LITTLE LATE LET US ASSURE YOU THAT THE QUEUES AT 0RIMARK ARE VERY MUCH LIKE IT OPENED TO THE NO FRILLS BARGAIN HUNTERS OF ,ONDON JUST THIS MORNING 0ENNILESS STUDENTS WILL ALSO BE DRAWN TO AN OTHERWISE QUIETER SIDE TO /XFORD 3TREET AND -ARBLE !RCH ON SHOPPING TRIPS TO ,ONDON BRINGING WITH IT AN AVALANCHE OF CUSTOMERS TO THE mAGSHIP .EW ,OOK THAT STANDS WITH ITS SILVER STEPS JUST ACROSS THE ROAD 4HE mAGSHIP 0RIMARK S STOCK IS GREATER THAN THAT OF THE STORE IN .ORWICH SO INSTEAD OF LOOKING FOR A SOLD OUT ESSENTIAL DRESS AT AN OVER PRICED RATE ON E"AY TAKE A TRIP TO ,ONDON 4HE NEXT PIECE OF NEWS WAS A TOSS BETWEEN +ATE -OSS AND CONDOMS 7E lGURED THAT FASHIONISTAS CAN READ ABOUT -OSS ELSEWHERE OR EVERYWHERE SO CONDOMS IT IS 3TREET WEAR BRAND +ING !PPAREL HAS JOINED CREATIVE FORCES WITH THE h7ANT 2ESPECT 5SE ! #ONDOMv CAM PAIGN AND HAVE MADE A LIMITED COLLECTION OF JEANS SELLING FOR a A PAIR 4HE JEANS FEATURE A UNIQUE DISCREET CONDOM STASH POCKET ON THE INSIDE OF THE JEANS AND COME WITH THREE FREE CONDOMS ATTACHED AT THE FRONT ! WINNER FOR ALL STUDENTS PERHAPS )T S AVAILABLE AT RETAILERS ACROSS THE 5+ !LTERNATIVELY JUST BUY CONDOMS
THE EVENT
4HEN WE REALISED THAT NO @&ASHION .EWS SECTION WAS COMPLETE UNLESS THE GREATEST "RIT FASHION EXPORT EVER WAS MENTIONED 3O LET S TALK ABOUT +ATE -OSS 4OPSHOP COLLECTION REVEALED TO THE PUBLIC ON -AY ST )T HAS BEEN THE MOST EAGERLY ANTICIPATED COLLECTION ALL YEAR SEE LEFT HAVING BEEN PART OF THE FASHION INDUSTRY FOR YEARS -OSS CREATED DESIGNS BASED ON FAVOURITES FROM HER OWN WARDROBE 5NFORTUNATELY HER DESIGNS FOR WHICH HER FEE WAS a MILLION HAVE NOT BEEN RECEIVED TOO WELL 4HE )NDEPENDENT S FASHION CRITICS DE SCRIBE THE COLLECTIONS AS hDULL AND DERIVATIVEv AND .EW 9ORK MAGAZINES HAVE BERATED THE COLLECTION AS A h$UPLIKATEv OF DESIGNER PIECES THAT SHE HAS WORN BEFORE -OSS FANS CAN GET THE LOOK FOR AS LITTLE AS a A PIECE "UT AS 4HE 'UARDIAN PUT IT IF YOU WERE REALLY DOING A +ATE WOULDN T YOU DO YOUR OWN THING
&ASHION
4VNNFSUJNF BOE UIF MJWJOH JT FBTZ (OT OR .OT (/4 4HE -AXI DRESS THE PERFECT WAY TO GLIDE INTO A ROOM
(/4 THE BANANA PUMP COMFY CUTE WE LOVE THESE CHIC ELASTICATED SLIP ONS
./4 PLATFORM mIP mOPS THEY RE BIG BUT NOT CLEVER
./4 $AVID "ECKHAM S PLATINUM HAIR NO WONDER YOU AND 6ICTORIA ARE THE +ING AND 1UEEN OF TRAILER TRASH
(/4 COLOURED SKINNY JEANS NOW YOU CAN HAVE A COL OUR FOR EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK
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'FTUJWBM 'FWFS 9OUR HEAD IS THUMPING YOUR ONCE IMMACULATELY STYLED HAIR HAS BEEN REPLACED BY WHAT CAN ONLY BE DESCRIBED AS A @FRO AND JUST AS YOU STRUGGLE TO RECOLLECT LIFE WITHOUT YOUR NEIGHBOUR S ELBOW DIGGING INTO YOUR RIBCAGE YOU BECOME AWARE OF A WARM SENSATION TRICKLING DOWN YOUR MUD ENCRUSTED LEGS THAT S RIGHT SOMEONE IS INDEED URINATING ON YOU "ECAUSE WE KNOW BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO FABULOUS DRESSERS WE BRING YOU THE ULTIMATE TIPS TO SURVIVING THE BEST AND THE WORST OF THE FESTIVAL SEASON ! GENERAL RULE OF THUMB IF YOU LIKE IT DON T BRING IT 7ELLIES PRETTY AND FUNCTIONAL ALTHOUGH BE WARNED IN TREACHER OUS CONDITIONS YOU MAY LOSE THESE LITTLE GEMS TO THE MUD OR ENVI OUS CROWD 4WO PAIRS ARE ADVISED 4HE 7ATER 0UMP LOCATE IT NOT ONLY FOR HYDRATION BUT HAIR WASH ING PURPOSES (AIR 3TRAIGHTENERS IF LIKE US YOU CAN T GO WITHOUT THEN BUY #(%!0 CORDLESS ONES AS THEY WILL MOST LIKELY DISAPPEAR 0REPARE TO BE MOCKED BY MALE COMPANIONS THEY WONT GET IT "IN "AGS THEY WORK AS KITSCH DISPOSABLE PICNIC BLANKETS AND CAN DOUBLE AS A PONCHO IN THE EVENT OF RAIN 4OILET 2OLL SOUNDS FUNNY NOW BUT WE GUARANTEE YOU WON T BE LAUGHING WHEN YOU RUN OUT &ORGET SENSITIVE IF YOU HAVE NASAL PAS SAGES YOU WILL BE OFFENDED BY THE PUNGENT AROMA OF THE TOILETS SO TAKE AN OLD SCARF YOU DON T MIND LOSING AND USE IT AS A MASK 7IPES A MUST AS THEY ARE THE ONLY QUICK WAY TO GET CLEAN WITH OUT QUEUING "OOZE IF YOU GET CAUGHT WE DIDN T SUGGEST IT THE MOST SUCCESSFUL METHOD HAS ALWAYS BEEN VODKA IN A WATER BOTTLE BECAUSE IT S SUBTLE AND LIGHT TO SMUGGLE IN *UST TRY NOT TO FORGET AND OF FER IT TO THE DEHYDRATED "UM "AG YOU DON T NEED ONE 4HIS IS A CRUEL MYTH AND ABSOLUTELY ./ SAFER THAN THE 0RADA PURSE YOU REPLACED )NVEST IN A MONEY POUCH AS YOU LL WEAR IT UNDER YOUR CLOTHES AT ALL TIMES 4HE "EACON PRONE TO LOSING YOUR FRIENDS AND GETTING LOST .OT ANYMORE 3IMPLY TAKE A POLE OR LONG STICK AND FASHION THE SYMBOL OF YOUR CHOICE TO THE END OF IT THE MORE ORIGINAL THE BETTER TO AVOID DUPLICATION 7HEN LOST IN CROWDS SIMPLY RAISE THE STICK INTO THE AIR LIKE A MODERN DAY SMOKE SIGNAL OF YOUR WHEREABOUTS AND WAIT FOR RESCUE
- iÃÊ Ê VViÃÃ À âi
THE EVENT
!RTS
2EVIEWS Online Arts Articles )N A WORLD WHERE EVERYTHING IS BECOMING ONLINE AND NETWORKED ARTS WEBSITES AND ONLINE ARTS MAGAZINES ARE FAST BECOMING THE KEY POINTS OF INFORMATION IN THE BUSINESS AND ARTS WORLD 4HEY ARE A QUICK AND EASY WAY TO lND OUT WHAT IS IN BOTH ON THE LO CAL AND INTERNATIONAL ART SCENE )N SEARCH OF MAGAZINES TO REVIEW THE "RITISH !RTS WEB SITE WWW BRITISHARTS CO UK IS AN EXCELLENT WAY TO lND JUST ABOUT ANY INFORMATION ON MAGAZINES THAT WAS NEEDED )T IS CLEARLY SET OUT COLOURFUL AND EASY TO USE OFFERING LINKS TO ONLINE INDEPENDENT ARTS MAGAZINES AND NEWSPAPERS ESPECIALLY FORMULATED FOR EVERY "RITISH COUNTY AND AROUND THE WORLD 4HE LINK TO 4HE !RT NEWSPAPER WWW THEARTNEWSPAPER COM WAS ALSO AN EXCEL LENT lND )T IS AN ONLINE MINI VERSION OF THE
ACTUAL PAPER AND SELECTS PREVIEWS FROM ITS MAIN ARTICLES EACH MONTH WITH THE OPTION TO ORDER THE ACTUAL PAPER QUICKLY AND EASILY )F IT IS ONLY INFORMATION YOU ARE AFTER THE WEBSITE IS PERFECT BUT IF YOU WANT MORE DE TAILED AND INTELLECTUAL WRITINGS ON ART BASED SUBJECTS YOU WILL HAVE TO SACRIlCE PAYING THE SUBSCRIPTION FEE OF a 4HE WEBSITES MAIN HEADLINE PROMOTES A STAGGERING EXHIBITIONS FROM AROUND THE WORLD 9OU CAN SEARCH BY SELECTING THE DATE KEYWORDS OR AN INDIVIDUAL CITY SO YOU CAN ALWAYS lND SOMETHING TO SUIT NO MAT TER WHERE YOU ARE 7HAT IS EXCITING ABOUT THE WEBSITE IS THAT YOU TOO CAN REQUEST TO ADD AN EXHIBITION TO THE PAGE SO INEVITABLY YOU WILL lND THE SMALL AND INDIVIDUAL EX HIBITIONS AS WELL AS THE BIG AND RENOWNED ONES 5NFORTUNATELY IT DOES MEAN THAT NOT EVERY DESCRIPTION IS PERFECTLY CORRECT AND IN TERESTING TO READ BUT THEY DO OFFER DETAILS ON EXACTLY WHAT IS BEING EXHIBITED AND ALSO A PHOTO OR TWO SO THAT EVEN THOSE EXHIBITIONS THAT ARE SLIGHTLY UNUSUAL LIKE THE @0ARROT IN !RT EXHIBITION IN ,ONDON HAS SOMETHING TO COMPLEMENT THE WORDS AND ENTICES YOU ALONG /N THE WEBSITE NEWS HEADLINES ARE ALSO
TO BE FOUND EASILY ACCESSIBLE AND OFFERING A BRIEF SNAPSHOT INTO THE EXCITING ART WORLD 4HE ARTICLES FOUND ONCE PAID FOR ARE INTER ESTING AND INNOVATIVE %VERYTHING IS COVERED FROM THE BIGGEST ART COLLECTORS TO INTERESTING CONCEPTS OF ART AND NATURE AND THE CHANGING LANDSCAPE OF THE ART BUSINESS SO THERE REALLY IS SOMETHING FOR ALL ART LOVERS BE IT INTELLEC TUAL STIMULATION OR A MERE BROWSE 7ITH WEB DESIGN FAST BECOMING A FEATURE OF ART COURSES AND COMPUTERISED IMAGES SO OFTEN FOUND AS PART OF EXHIBITIONS ONLINE ARTS PAPERS AND MAGAZINES SUPPLEMENT THIS NEW INDUSTRY SUPERBLY BUT ARE THEY WORTH IT OR ARE THEY MERELY A SUBSTITUTE FOR THE REAL THING -ANY WEBSITES THAT CAN BE FOUND ARE ALMOST A TESTAMENT TO THE ART THEMSELVES WITH IMAGES CONSTANTLY mASHING ACROSS THE SCREEN 4HE !RT .EWSPAPER COULD BE SLIGHTLY MORE INNOVATIVE IN THIS RESPECT CONSIDERING WHAT IT IS ADVERTISING BUT PERHAPS THIS IS A LITTLE TOO SUBVERSIVE FOR WHAT IS ESSENTIALLY AN INFORMATION PORTAL )F YOU CONNECT TO THE INDIVIDUAL ARTIST S WEBSITES YOU WILL lND SOMETHING FAR MORE IN KEEPING WITH THE ART ITSELF 0ERHAPS ARTISTS HAVE REALISED THAT THE BEST WAY TO ADVERTISE IS ON WEBSITES SUCH AS 4HE !RT .EWSPAPER 4HERE IS NO DOUBT THAT
IT IS FAR MORE EASILY ACCESSIBLE ALL IT REQUIRES IS A QUICK SEARCH ON 'OOGLE AND THE CLICK OF A MOUSE BUT LET S HOPE THAT WITH ALL THE PAINTINGS NOW ONLINE PEOPLE WON T TAKE THE EASY OPTION AND SIT AT HOME BUT WILL lND THEM INTERESTING ENOUGH TO DISCOVER THE REAL EXHIBITIONS 7EBSITES LIKE 4HE !RT .EWSPA PER ENCOURAGE EXACTLY THIS THE SHORT DESCRIP TIONS AND SINGLE PHOTOGRAPHS OF IMAGES EN TICE YOU ALONG TO THE REAL THING AND DON T OFFER EVERYTHING ONLINE 4HE WEB IS AN EXCITING NEW WAY TO AC CESS THE FASCINATING AND INNOVATIVE ART WORLD AND IF YOU EVER HAVE A SPARE MOMENT OR WANT TO KNOW JUST THAT LITTLE BIT MORE ABOUT A CERTAIN EXHIBITION IT IS DElNITELY WORTH CHECKING OUT #HLOE 0EW ,ATTER
4HEATRE
Night, Mother by Marsha Norman, Norwich Puppet Theatre, April 19th-20th 2007
! SCENE TWO WOMEN MOTHER AND DAUGHTER DRINKING COCOA AND TALKING ABOUT WHERE THEIR LIVES WENT ! PLACE A LIVING ROOM OR KITCHEN !N IDEA CAN YOU PREVENT THE INEVI TABLE 4HE DAUGHTER IS GOING TO KILL HERSELF 3HE HAS SET HER MIND ON IT 3HE OPENS THE PLAY BY ASKING HER MOTHER FOR SOME OLD TOWELS %IGHT PAGES OF DIALOGUE LATER AND IT S REVEALED THAT SHE NEEDS THE TOWELS SO THAT SHE WON T MESS UP THE HOUSE WHEN SHE SHOOTS HERSELF LATER IN THE EVENING 4HE MOTHER ASKS WHY 3HE GETS NO ANSWER JUST THE DAUGHTER PLACIDLY TELLING HER THAT SHE S BEEN PLANNING IT FOR SOME TIME 3O .IGHT -OTHER BEGINS AND THE BEGIN NING IS ALSO THE END /NCE *ESSIE n THE DAUGHTER n ANNOUNCES HER INTENTIONS THE SCRIPT AND THE ACTING TELLS YOU THE REST 4O NIGHT YOU WILL SEE SOMEONE KILL THEMSELVES
AND YOU WON T BE ABLE TO DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT 9OU ARE IN THE SAME POSITION AS THE MOTHER WITH *ESSIE S LAST TWO HOURS THE TWO OF YOU GRAPPLE TO UNDERSTAND WHY SHE S DOING IT AND GETTING NO ANSWERS ARE LEFT TO HOLD YOUR BREATH AND WAIT FOR THE INEVITABLE TO HAPPEN 4HIS VERSION OF THE PLAY STARS 2OANNA "OND AND 4ERESA :OERS AS *ESSIE AND -AMA 4HEY ALSO DIRECTED AND PRODUCED THE PLAY "OND IS FANTASTIC AS *ESSIE DELIVERING A PERFORMANCE THAT MAKES YOU PITY *ESSIE AS MUCH AS YOU ARE INFURIAT ED BY HER 3HE MOVES AROUND THE STAGE WITH A BODY LANGUAGE BORNE OUT OF ACTING IN LEAD ROLES AND A DISTINCT AWARENESS OF PRACTICAL ITY 7HEN SHE SPEAKS YOU CAN T HELP BUT LISTEN (ER VOICE TREMBLES BETWEEN %NGLISH AND !MERICAN AT A FEW POINTS IN THE PER FORMANCE BUT OVERALL SHE SPEAKS SWEET AND
SOUTHERN THE WHOLE TIME :OERS HAS -AMA DOWN 3HE HOBBLES AROUND THE STAGE AND HAS A VOICE THAT SOUNDS LIKE SASS SAWDUST AND !MERICANA COMBINED 3HE TELLS STORIES AND ROCKS BACK AND FORTH AND OCCASIONALLY CRUMPLES AGAINST THE STONY WILL OF *ESSIE 9OU CANNOT HELP BUT FEEL FOR HER AND AS THE HOURS TICK BY YOU EXPERIENCE THE SAME FEAR THAT SHE FEELS 4HE SOLE PROBLEM OF THE PLAY IS THE DECISION BY THE ACTORS TO DIRECT AND PRODUCE THE PLAY THEMSELVES 7HILE THE ACTING IS CAPTIVATING THE LAUGHS ARE SOMETIMES TOO CLOSE TOGETHER AND THE SHOUTS TOO WELL CONTROLLED )T LACKS THE GRITTINESS AND JARRING CHEMISTRY OF AN OUTSIDE INmUENCE AND FOR THAT IT SOMETIMES SEEMS ARTIlCIAL (OWEVER EVEN THOUGH IT SOMETIMES FEELS FALSE THE ACTORS KNOW THEIR CHARACTERS SO WELL THAT FOR LONG
STRETCHES OF TIME YOU THINK OF NOTHING BUT THEIR STORY -EMORIES PERVADE THE PLAY AS MUCH AS THE DULL PRACTICALITIES *ESSIE TELLS -AMA WHERE THE CUTLERY IS KEPT AND HOW TO ORDER IN GROCERIES -AMA TELLS *ESSIE ABOUT TIMES WHEN SHE WAS YOUNG AND HER TIME WITH HER FATHER 4HE SCRIPT IS A PATCHWORK OF EXPERIENCE AND BY THE END OF THE NIGHT THE TWO LIVES BEFORE YOU HAVE INTERMINGLED SO COMPLETELY THAT WHEN THE ONE AND ONLY SHOT RINGS OUT IT IS AS THOUGH BOTH CHARAC TERS ARE LYING THERE BEHIND THE LOCKED DOOR THAT IS ALL THE AUDIENCE CAN SEE BLEEDING ONTO HOMESPUN TOWELS .IGHT -OTHER HAS lNISHED ITS RUN IN .ORWICH BUT IS BEING TAKEN TO %DINBURGH &RINGE FOR THE FESTIVAL )F YOU CAN MAKE IT UP THERE DElNITELY TRY AND SEE IT *ACK #LARK
!RTS
(EAR .O %VIL
3EE .O %VIL
/NCE AGAIN THE CONTENTIOUS ISSUE OF CENSORSHIP HAS RISEN UP 2OANNA "OND DISCOVERS THE DRAMA AND DICTATORSHIP THAT S STILL OFFENDING OUR MODERN STAGES
#
ENSORSHIP 3URELY A BYGONE ISSUE FOR THE 7ESTERN WORLD 3OMETHING THAT WE GRAPPLED WITH YEARS AGO WHEN SOCIETY WAS PLAGUED BY THE lRE AND BRIMSTONE PICKETS OF -ARY 7HITEHOUSE AND WE WERE ONLY JUST EMERGING BLINKING AND SHIVERING INTO A NEW AGE OF PO LITICAL AWARENESS .OT NOW NOT IN OUR FREE THINKING AGE OF LEFTY LIBERALISM SURELY NOT 4HINK AGAIN #ENSORSHIP IS STILL ALIVE AND WELL AND FEARLESSLY DOMINATING THE MODERN THEAT RICAL SCENE 7HERE PREVIOUSLY WE WERE FORCIBLY PROTECTED FROM THE WANTON EVILS OF GRATUITOUS NUDITY OBSCENITY AND VIOLENCE NOW THERE S A NEW 3ATAN TO BE LAID BARE BEFORE YOU ON THE STAGE RELIGIOUS UNREST 'OD FORBID !T THE RECENT %QUITY CONFERENCE ! -IR ROR UP TO .ATURE .ICHOLAS (YTNER DIRECTOR OF THE .ATIONAL 4HEATRE DECLARED IN HIS KEYNOTE SPEECH h)T IS CONSTANTLY ASTONISHING HOW EASY IT IS TO CAUSE OFFENCE AND HOW DETERMINED SOME PEOPLE ARE TO TAKE IT v !UDIENCES HE SAID DEMAND THEIR DRAMATISTS TO hTAKE THEM TO THE EDGE OF HUMAN EXPERIENCE TO PLUNGE US INTO SITUATIONS WHICH IN REAL LIFE WOULD BE INTOLERABLEv 3URELY TO DO THIS THEN THE ARTIST MUST BREAK WITH CERTAIN TABOOS IN EVERYDAY LIFE HOW ELSE COULD IT BE ACHIEVED )F ONE OF THE INTEGRAL PURPOSES OF ART IS TO EXPLORE EMOTIONS AND OPINIONS WHICH GO AGAINST THE GRAIN THIS MUST FUNDAMENTALLY RENDER SUCH IDEAS HARD TO TOLERATE h7E HAVE THE RIGHT AND RESPONSIBILITY TO EXPLORE TABOOS AND VIO LATE THE CANONS OF GOOD TASTE AND ACCEPTABLE OPINION BECAUSE TODAY S TABOO IS TOMORROW S NORM v HE PROCLAIMED 0ART OF HIS REASONING HERE CAME FROM THE FACT THAT IN HIS THREE AND A HALF YEAR TENURE AS DIRECTOR AT THE .ATIONAL HE HAS RECEIVED AT LEAST ONE LETTER OF COMPLAINT FOR EVERY SINGLE PRODUCTION )NCREASING DEMANDS ON ARTISTS TO PUT LIM
v)T IS CONSTANTLY ASTON ISHING HOW EASY IT IS TO CAUSE OFFENCE AND HOW DETERMINED SOME PEOPLE ARE TO TAKE IT v
IN THE 7EST %ND 4HE LATTER IN WHICH $ANIAL 2ADCLIFFE IS CURRENTLY LAYING EVERYTHING BARE AT THE 'IELGUD CAUSED MANY FANS OF *+ 2OWLING TO FEAR FOR THEIR CHILDREN S CHASTITY 5NSURPRISINGLY PERHAPS THE MOST OBVIOUS CULPRIT TO POINT THE lNGER OF BLAME AT FOR THE RISE IN CONTEMPORARY CENSORSHIP IS !MERICA 7ITH A TYRANNICAL 4EXAN IN CONTROL FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION WAS ALWAYS GOING TO BECOME A BIT OF A STICKY WICKET AS !LAN 2ICKMAN DISCOV ERED WHEN ATTEMPTING TO TAKE HIS PRODUCTION OF -Y .AME IS 2ACHEL #ORRIE OVERSEAS TO 9AN KEE LAND FOLLOWING ITS 7EST %ND DEBUT AT THE 2OYAL #OURT LAST YEAR 4HE PLAY IS CONCERNED WITH THE TRUE LIFE STORY OF A YEAR OLD !MERI CAN ACTIVIST NAMED 2ACHEL #ORRIE WHO WAS KILLED BY AN )SRAELI ARMY BULLDOZER IN WHEN SHE WAS PEACEFULLY TRYING TO STOP THE DE STRUCTION OF A 0ALESTINIAN HOME 2ICKMAN WAS FURIOUS WHEN THE THEATRE COMPANY FUNDING THE PRODUCTION SUDDENLY REFUSED TO SHOWCASE IT CITING THE hCURRENT POLITICAL CLIMATEv AS A REASON BECAUSE THEY DIDN T WANT TO BE SEEN AS TAKING SIDES IN THE CONmICT BETWEEN )SRAEL AND 0ALESTINE 2ICKMAN UNSURPRISINGLY RESPOND ED ANGRILY DECLARING THAT HE WAS THE VICTIM OF hA CENSORSHIP BORN OUT OF FEARv AND THAT hCALLING THIS PRODUCTION POSTPONED DOES NOT DISGUISE THE FACT THAT IT HAS BEEN CANCELLED v 4HE ARTISTIC DIRECTOR OF THE .EW 9ORK 4HEATRE 7ORKSHOP WHICH WAS THE COMPANY WHICH WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNDING THE PRODUCTION OF THE PLAY *AMES .ICOLA SAID AT THE TIME h7E FOUND THAT OUR PLAN TO PRESENT A WORK OF ART WOULD BE SEEN AS US TAKING A STAND IN A PO LITICAL CONmICT THAT WE DID NOT WANT TO TAKE v )NEVITABLY THEN THIS RAISES SOME FAIRLY TERRIFY ING QUESTIONS ABOUT WHAT THE PURPOSE OF PER FORMING THEATRE IS AT ALL IF NOT TO TAKE A STAND OF SOME KIND AGAINST ISSUES WHICH ARE ARISING AT THE TIME OF THE PLAYS BEING PERFORMED 7E IN "RITAIN ARE NO LESS NERVOUS HOWEVER AND NO MORE SAFE FROM SPINELESS RIGHT WING ATTACKS 0ERHAPS THE GREATEST EXAMPLE OF MOD ERN CENSORSHIP OVER HERE IS THAT OF THE PLAY "EHZTI WRITTEN BY 'URPREET +AUR "HATTI WHICH WAS PERFORMED AT THE "IRMINGHAM 2EPERTORY
4HEATRE IN $ECEMBER 4HE PLAY DEPICTS A RAPE AND MURDER IN A 3IKH TEMPLE AND IT CAME UNDER INTENSIVE CRITICISM FROM THE LOCAL 3IKH COMMUNITY IN "IRMINGHAM 4HE CONTROVERSY EVEN LEAD TO THE WRITER RECEIVING DEATH THREATS AND BEING FORCED INTO HIDING 4HERE WERE INCREASINGLY VIOLENT DEMONSTRATIONS STAGED OUTSIDE THE THEATRE UNTIL MATTERS EVENTUALLY CAME TO A HEAD WHEN A GROUP OF 3IKHS STORMED THE THEATRE AND BECAME AGGRESSIVE &ACED WITH THREATS BOTH TO THE CAST AND THE THEATRICAL MANAGEMENT THE AUTHORITIES lNAL LY ACQUIESCED TO THE PROTESTORS DEMANDS AND THE PRODUCTION WAS CLOSED DOWN +AUR "HATTI HERSELF HAS SAID OF THE AFFAIR THAT !RTISTS HAVE ALWAYS PRODUCED WORK WHICH OUTRAGES UPSETS AND CHALLENGES SOCIETY 0ART OF THE FUNCTION OF AN ARTIST IS TO TAKE THE AUDIENCE OUTSIDE OF THEIR COMFORT ZONE 4HE CREATIVE SPACE MUST REMAIN AS OPEN AS POSSIBLE 4O CAUSE OFFENCE AND TO FEEL OFFENDED ARE ESSENTIAL FACETS OF BE ING ALIVE 3HE HAS A POINT 7ITH THE CURRENT RISE IN COMMERCIAL PRE OCCUPATION WITH VIEWING lG
URES AND TICKET SALES WE RUN THE RISK OF CON STANTLY REGURGITATING ENTERTAINING YET UTTERLY UNINSPIRING THEATRE WHICH ENGAGES WITH LITTLE OF ANY SUBSTANCE OR PURPOSE )F YOU WANT A BLAND NIGHT S ENTERTAINMENT LOOK NO FURTHER THAN THE LATEST 7HAT S /N IN THE 7EST %ND SECTION OF YOUR LOCAL RAG 3OUND OF -USIC ANY ONE 3INCE THE 4HEATRES !CT ACTUALLY ABOL ISHED CENSORSHIP IN HOW MUCH HAS RE ALLY CHANGED #ERTAINLY IT WOULD APPEAR WE ARE BEGINNING TO TAKE A BACKWARDS STEP INTO TOTALITARIAN OBLIVION ONCE MORE 7ITH THE ABOLITION OF SMOKING ONSTAGE IN 3COTLAND AND "RITAIN POTENTIALLY FOLLOWING SUIT FAIRLY QUICKLY WHAT S NEXT 3HALL WE SOON SOLELY BE GOING OUT FOR A NIGHT OF TEA AND BISCUITS WATERED DOWN WITH SOME EASY !YCKBOURNE REPARTEE ,ET S HOPE NOT !RT SHOULD EXPLORE EVERY ASPECT OF HUMAN BEHAVIOUR AND IF SOME OF THOSE ASPECTS ARE UNFAVOURABLE SO BE IT 3O ARE WE )N THE WORDS OF 'UPREET +AUR "HATTI h7E MUST EMBRACE AND EXPERIENCE 4O KEEP CREATING IS ALL AND EVERYTHING WE HAVE v
ITS ON THE ISSUES THEY SEEK TO ADDRESS AND CEN SOR ANYTHING THAT COULD CAUSE OFFENCE MIGHT SEEM INITIALLY TO BE A HIGHLY ANTIQUATED IDEA BUT SADLY THIS IS GRADUALLY BECOMING MORE AND MORE FREQUENT IN TODAY S THEATRICAL WORLD &EAR OF ANTAGONISM IN THE CURRENT PO LITICAL CLIMATE IS OVER WHELMING AND PEOPLE ARE BECOMING AFRAID TO INmAME DISCONTENT !FTER THE REBELLIOUS @IN YER FACE YEARS OF THE S WE APPEAR NOW TO BE ENTERING AN ERA OF CONSERVATISM ONCE MORE #ERTAIN KINDS OF SUBJECT MATTER ARE OBVIOUSLY ALWAYS GOING TO BE CONTENTIOUS AND INmAMMATORY MOST SIG NIlCANTLY RELIGIOUS UNEASE AND POLITICAL SAT IRE BUT THERE ARE OTHERS ALL ACROSS THE BOARD WHICH HAVE BEGUN TO CAUSE A STIR AGAIN %VEN NUDITY SEEMS TO HAVE BECOME A RENEWED SORE POINT WITH AN UNLIKELY FURORE CAUSED BY THE NEW PRODUCTIONS OF 4HE 'RADUATE AND %QUUS
THE EVENT
46
(OLDING OUT FOR A (ERO (AILED BY CRITICS AS @THE NEW ,OST (EROES HAS RACKED UP OVER MILLION VIEWERS PER WEEK IN THE 53 AND ""# BRINGS THE SHOW TO OUR TERRESTRIAL SCREENS THIS SUMMER .ATASHA +UNDAIKER TAKES A LOOK AT THE HIT NEW SHOW THAT WILL HAVE YOU ON THE EDGE OF YOUR SEAT
)
N WHEN ,OST ARRIVED TO STELLAR RATINGS MOST NET WORKS WERE HOPPING ON THE SUPERNATURAL MYSTERY BANDWAGON WITH )NVA SION AND 4HRESHOLD TAKING THE MORE ALIEN APPROACH TO THE WEIRD WONDERS OF LIFE .EITHER SUCCEEDED OF COURSE BECAUSE DESPITE THE EVIDENT NEED FOR A GOOD LOOKING CAST AND A BIT OF FANTASY THEY LACKED THE RANGE AND LIKEABILITY OF CHARACTERS THAT ,OST HAD IN ABUNDANCE 3KIP TWO YEARS AHEAD AND IT HAS BECOME A DISAPPOINTING AND DRAWN OUT TALE WHERE NEITHER CHARAC TERS NOR FANS KNOW WHAT THE HELL IS GO ING ON AND WHERE THE ONCE GREAT SHOW HAS LOST ITS RATINGS ITS VIEWERS AND ITS WAY IN AN ALMOST SELF FULlLLING PROPH ECY %VIDENTLY LEARNING FROM ,OST S MIS TAKES (EROES WHICH PREMIERED IN THE 53 IN 3EPTEMBER HAS TAKEN THE WORLD BY STORM GAINING LEGIONS OF FANS AND RIGHTFULLY CLAIMING THE COVETED TITLE OF BEST SERIES 4HE SHOW TAKES THE FAMILIAR POP CUL TURE PREMISE OF THE SUPERHERO A CONCEPT ORIGINATED IN THE COMIC BOOK INDUSTRY WITH CHARACTERS SUCH AS "ATMAN AND 3U PERMAN 7ITH SUPERHERO MOVIES RAKING IN THE CASH AT BOX OFlCES TELEVISION NET WORKSHAVEOFTENTRIED ANDFAILED TOCRE ATE THE SAME POWER ON THE SMALL SCREEN USUALLY LACKING CHARACTER REALISM AMIDST THE WORLD OF FANTASTIC POWERS 4HE ONES THAT SUCCEEDED IN DRAWING IN AUDIENCES KEPT THE LENS CENTERED ON THE CHARACTERS RATHER THAN ALL ON THE HIGH mYING ACTION ,OIS AND #LARK FOCUSED ON THE INTIMATE ROMANCE WHILE 3MALLVILLE OPENED THE DOORS TO #LARK +ENT S HIGH SCHOOL YEARS AND THE STRUGGLES OF THE +RYPTONIAN ADO LESCENT BUT (EROES TACKLES A LARGER FEAT GUIDING US THROUGH THE INTERMINGLING LIVES OF HUNDREDS OF ORDINARY PEOPLE WITH EXTRAORDINARY POWERS !S THE FIRST EPISODE BEGINS A TOTAL ECLIPSE CASTS ITS SHADOW ACROSS THE GLOBE AND WE FOLLOW )NDIAN GENETICS PROFESSOR -OHINDER 3URESH WHOSE FATHER S DIS APPEARANCE IN .EW 9ORK LEADS HIM TO UNCOVER A SECRET THEORY THERE ARE PEOPLE WITH SUPER POWERS LIVING AMONG US 4HE PREMISE OF (EROES STARTS FROM HERE A PLOT THEME THAT SPIDER WEBS OUT ACROSS THE GLOBE FROM *APAN TO THE 53 AND CHRONI CLES THE LIVES OF A DOZEN @HEROES AS THEY LEARN TO MASTER THEIR ABILITIES !T ITS BASIC LEVEL IT ECHOES THE -AR VEL SERIES 8 -EN 4HE CHARACTERS ARE NOT BITTEN BY RADIOACTIVE SPIDERS NOR EX POSED TO COSMIC RAYS BUT RATHER THEY ARE GENETIC MUTATIONS THE NEXT PHASE
OF HUMAN EVOLUTION WHERE SUPERHU MAN ABILITIES BECOME REALITY 4HE CORE ELEMENT TO COMIC BOOKS IS NOT SIMPLY THE POWER BUT PERSONAL STRUGGLES 0ETER 0ARKER OR "RUCE 7AYNE S DILEMMA IS IN lNITELY MORE INTERESTING THAN THEIR ALTER EGOS AND (EROES TAKES THIS TO HEART )NSTEAD OF FOCUSING SOLELY ON THE POWERS THEMSELVES THE SHOW S STRENGTH LIES IN ITS REALISTIC PORTRAYAL OF THE PEOPLE BEHIND THE ABILITIES n HOW THEY HAVE TO DEAL WITH THEIR EVERYDAY LIVES AS WELL AS HOW THEY GRAPPLE WITH THE UNFAMILIAR CHANGES THAT THE POWERS BRING .OT EVE RY POWER IS A BLESSING AND NOT EVERYONE EMBRACES THE CHANGE WITH OPEN ARMS 4HE CHARACTERS JUST WANT TO GET THROUGH LIFE THE BEST THEY CAN WHICH IS A FEELING EVERYONE CAN RELATE TO 4HE DYNAMIC OF THE SHOW WHICH FUSES TOGETHER THE BEST OF TELEVISION DRAMA WITH THE INTENSE STO RY ASSOCIATED WITH COMICS OPENS UP THE lELD TO A LARGE DEMOGRAPHIC AND BRINGS A SUPERHERO APPRECIATION TO THE MASSES AND THE MAINSTREAM 46 GLOSS TO COMIC GEEK CROWD 4HE THEME RESONATES THROUGHOUT THE SERIES WITH )SSAC -EDES PROPHETIC PAINT INGS AND THE BEAUTIFUL CINEMATOGRAPHY WHICH mAWLESSLY TRANSFORMS COMIC STYLE ART FROM PAGE TO SCREEN mICKING FROM CHARACTER TO CHARACTER WITH EASE 4HE ORIGINAL ARTWORK BY GRAPHIC ILLUSTRATOR 4IM 3ALE HAS EVEN BEEN AUCTIONED OFF FOR CHARITY WITH THE ICONIC @(OMECOMING PAINTING FROM THE EPISODE OF THE SAME NAME RAISING A STAGGERING .OT BAD FOR A SHOW THAT WAS UNHEARD OF A YEAR AGO )N ADDITION TO THE TELEVISION SE RIES THE CREATORS HAVE RELEASED A SERIES OF WEB COMICS TO COINCIDE WITH EACH CHAP TER CONTINUING THE BRILLIANT STORY AND ART WORK SO FANS CAN GET AN IN DEPTH LOOK AT
THE EVENT
THE CHARACTERS OUTSIDE OF THE SCREEN (EROES MAINTAINS ITS GEEK QUALITIES AND THE LOVE FOR INTERTEXTUAL TELEVISION WITH ITS GUEST STARS $OCTOR 7HO S #HRIS TOPHER %CCLESTON %RIC 2OBERTS OLDER BROTHER OF *ULIA AND ALSO 4HE -ASTER TO 0AUL -C'ANN S $OCTOR AND 3TAR 4REK S 3ULU 'EORGE 4AKEI !S SOON AS (EROES BECAME A RATINGS HIT THE ENVIABLE HAPPENED AND 46 CRITICS LIKENED IT TO ,OST 4HIS IS NO SURPRISE GIVEN THAT CREATOR 4IM +RING HAD CITED ,OST AS AN INSPIRATION AND EVEN CONSULTED ITS CO CREATOR $AMON ,INDELOF ABOUT HIS IDEAS 3TRANGELY THESHOWSTARTEDOFFINREVERSEOR DER +RING WANTED TO TACKLE THE SAME GENRE OF,OST BUTWANTEDTOSMOOTHOUTWHATHE SAWASKINKSINTHESET UP )TWASGENREFIRST THEN PLOT IDEAS WHICH IS A STRANGE WAY TO BEGIN BUTEVIDENTLYASUCCESSFULONE "OTH SHOWS HAVE MULTIPLE CHARAC TERS AND STORY THREADS EACH INTERTWIN ING TO SOME DEGREE WITH THE OTHERS AND ENDING ON A CLIFFHANGER EACH WEEK BUT (EROES HAS MORE CLARITY AND PRECISION OF STYLE THROUGHOUT THE SERIES CAREFULLY BAL ANCING CONCEPT AND CHARACTER DEVELOP MENT TO MAKE US CARE ABOUT THE HEROES AND THEIR FAMILIES AS WELL AS THEIR JOUR NEY 4HE SUSPENSEFUL STORYTELLING THANK FULLY AVOIDS STRINGING THE VIEWER ALONG WITH NEVER ENDING PLOT LINES WHICH OF TEN BECOME FRUSTRATING IN ,OST #HOOSING NOT TO BITE OFF MORE THAN THEY CAN CHEW (EROES KEEPS ITS NARRA TIVE RELATIVELY CLOSED NOT LEAVING BIG QUESTIONS OVERHANGING THE ENTIRE SERIES )T CAPTIVATES ITS AUDIENCE BY PRESENT ING AN IMMEDIATE TASK OF SAVING .EW 9ORK FROM IMMINENT DESTRUCTION WHILE LAUNCHING THE LARGER MYSTERY OF HOW OUR HEROES GOT THEIR POWERS "Y USING SHORTER STORY ARCS WITH SPECIlC AIMS FOR THE CHAR
)NSTEADOFFOCUS INGSOLELYONTHE POWERSTHEMSELVES THESHOW SSTRENGTH LIESINITSREALISTIC PORTRAYALOFTHEPEO PLEBEHINDTHEABILI TIES HOWTHEYHAVE TODEALWITHTHEIR EVERYDAYLIVESASWELL ASHOWTHEYGRAPPLE WITHTHEUNFAMILIAR CHANGESTHATTHE POWERSBRING
ACTERS TO FOCUS ON MOST FAMOUSLY hSAVE THE CHEERLEADER SAVE THE WORLDv A NOW ICONIC PHRASE FOR THE SHOW AUDIENCE CURIOSITY IS SATISlED AS THE SHOW STEADILY REVEALS SEVERAL MYSTERIES AND ITS CHARAC TERS MOTIVATIONS ALONG THE WAY 3INCE ITS DEBUT (EROES HAS BECOME A HIT WITH BOTH AUDIENCES AND CRITICS CREAT ING A MEDIA STORM ACROSS THE INTERNET 4HE SHOW HAS NOW BECOME SO POPULAR THAT IT HAS EVEN SPAWNED ITS OWN PARODY COMIC BOOK WRITTEN AND ILLUSTRATED BY "ILL -AUS (ERWOES OUT THIS *ULY POKES FUN AT THE SHOW IN THE VEIN OF THE CLASSIC -AD -AGA ZINE SATIRES AND "ORED OF THE 2INGS WHERE READERS ARE INTRODUCED TO THE ENIGMATIC 0ASTRAMI BROTHERS CONSTIPATED *APANESE OFFICEWORKER(EWOE AND-OHINDER.IGHT 3HALAMAN WHO IS TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OF THEWHOLETHINGWHILEABERSERKHAIRDRESSER NAMED3TYLERISONTHERAMPAGE 7ITH RATINGS STILL REMAINING HIGH (EROES HAS BEEN PICKED UP FOR ANOTHER SERIES HOWEVER THE CHARACTERS WON T BE THE SAME %ACH SEASON IS ONE VOLUME IN THE WHOLE TALE WHERE THE END OF @6OL UME /NE WILL TIE UP THE LOOSE ENDS OF THE MAIN PLOT THE NEXT VOLUME WILL BE GIN n STILL DEALING WITH THE ISSUE OF THE GENETIC MUTATION BUT PLACING THE SERIES IN DIFFERENT LOCATIONS WITH DIFFERENT LEAD CHARACTERS AND DIFFERENT PLOT GOALS IN A BID TO KEEP AUDIENCES HOOKED ON THE SHOW WITHOUT mOGGING THE DEAD HORSE 4HAT S NOT TO SAY SOME OF OUR FAVOURITES WON T POP UP NOW AND AGAINx )F ALL GOES WELL THE NEXT SERIES WILL BE AS GOOD AS THE lRST BALANCING ITS ENGAG ING AND HEARTWARMING CHARACTERS WITH ASTOUNDING EFFECTS PROVING (EROES TO BE NOT ONLY A FANTASTIC SHOW BUT A 46 SUPER POWER
46
-EET THE (EROES 9g9_e 9g_9MMJ
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0LAYED BY -ILO 6ENTIMIGLIA
0LAYED BY (AYDEN 0ANETTIERE
.EIGHBOURS !GE !BILITY 2APID #ELLULAR 2EGENERATION 3ELF (EALING /CCUPATION 3TUDENT 0LACE OF /RIGIN /DESSA 4EXAS
!GE !BILITY 5NKNOWN 0OSSIBLY mIGHT /CCUPATION (OSPICE .URSE 0LACE OF /RIGIN .EW 9ORK #ITY 4HE YOUNGER BROTHER OF POLITICIAN .ATHAN 0ETRELLI 0ETER HAS ALWAYS STOOD IN HIS BROTHER S SHADOW AS THE LESS FAVOURED SON 0ETER BEGINS TO QUESTION WHETHER IT S WORTH IT TO SAVE ONE PERSON AT A TIME A FEAT HE STRIVES TO DO IN HIS WORK 7ONDERING IF HE WAS PUT ON THE PLANET TO DO SOMETHING GREATER 0ETER DECIDES TO QUIT HIS JOB AS A NURSE
#LAIRE WAS A POPULAR IN SCHOOL HAD GOOD GRADES ALL IN ALL AN ORDINARY HIGH SCHOOL CHEERLEADER UNTIL SHE DISCOVERED THAT SHE HAD SUPERNATURAL HEALING POWERS MAKING HER NEARLY INDESTRUCTIBLE 3HE ENLISTS THE HELP OF HER CLASSMATE :ACH TO DOCUMENT HER ATTEMPTS AT SELF HARM #LAIRE BELIEVES HER POWERS MAKE HER A FREAK AND IS AFRAID OF IT BEING DISCOVERED
SGJP79_e j_9`G
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0LAYED BY 3ENDHILL 2AMAMURTHY
0LAYED BY -ASI /KA
!GE !BILITY 3PACE TIME MANIPULATION INCLUDING CHRONOKINESIS SLOWING DOWN SPEEDING UP OR STOPPING TIME TIME TRAVEL AND TELEPORTATION /CCUPATION 0ROGRAMMER AT 9AMAGATO )NDUSTRIES 0LACE OF /RIGIN 4OKYO *APAN 4HE ENTHUSIASTIC (IRO THROUGH THE SHEER FORCE OF HIS OWN WILL ALONE DISCOVERS THAT HE CAN STOP THE mOW OF TIME AROUND HIM TELEPORT HIMSELF AROUND THE WORLD WITH A THOUGHT AND EVEN SEND HIMSELF INTO THE PAST (E HAS A DEEP SENSE OF CALLING BELIEVING THAT HIS POWER IS A GIFT HE HAS BEEN GIVEN FOR THE GREATER GOOD (E IS ACCOMPANIED THROUGHOUT BY HIS FRIEND AND FELLOW WORKMATE !NDO -ASAHASHI (E IS ALSO A HUGE COMIC BOOK AND SCIENCE lCTION FANATIC OFTEN REFERRING TO SUPERHEROES AND 3TAR 4REK
JLJe "P79_` 0LAYED BY !LI ,ARTER
$YLAN HAS TROUBLE WITH 3KY AND 3TINGRAY S NEW RELATIONSHIP AFTER 3TINGRAY BECOMES MORE INVOLVED IN +ERRY S UPBRINGING BUT AFTER +ERRY S HEALTH PROBLEMS INTENSIFY HE SEES SENSE &RAZER REVEALS HIS FAMILY SECRET TO 2OSIE AND SHE DOESN T TAKE IT WELL SO 0AUL OFFERS A SHOULDER TO CRY ON %LLE SCHEMES TO BREAK UP /LIVER AND #ARMELLA TO GET HER REVENGE ON $YLAN AND LOBS A BOMBSHELL INTO "OYD AND *ANAE S MARRIAGE IN THE FORM OF 'LENN WHO DEMANDS TO KNOW WHY "OYD DENIES THE EXTENT OF THEIR LIAISON .ED IS BLACKMAILED INTO COMMITTING MORE OF 0AUL S DIRTY WORK BUT HIS CONSCIENCE COULD BE HIS UNDOING &RAZER S BROTHER 2INGO SECRETLY PINES FOR 2ACHEL AND SHE STARTS TO SEE A DIFFERENT SIDE TO HIM 4HE ESCORT 4OADIE PAID FOR WANTS TO BE ROMANCED FOR REAL +IERA / "RIEN
!GE UNKNOWN !BILITY .ONE /CCUPATION 'ENETICS ,ECTURER 0LACE OF /RIGIN -ADRAS )NDIA 4HOUGH NOT STRICTLY A HERO -OHINDER HOLDS THE KEY TO UNLOCKING THE MYSTERIES OF THE SUPER ABILITIES ! TALENTED YOUNG SCIENTIST FROM )NDIA -OHINDER LEFT HIS JOB AS A UNIVERSITY INSTRUCTOR WHEN HE LEARNED THAT HIS FATHER #HANDRA WAS MISSING IN !MERICA #HANDRA 3URESH A PIONEERING GENEALOGIST BELIEVED THAT EVOLUTION HAD ALREADY TAKEN A STEP FORWARD AND THAT THERE WERE PEOPLE IN THE WORLD WHO WERE PUSHING THE BOUNDARIES OF HUMAN CAPABILITIES -OHINDER MUST NOW DECIDE WHETHER TO CONTINUE HIS FATHER S WORK AND SEEK OUT MEN AND WOMEN WITH EXTRAORDINARY ABILITIES OR MOVE ON WITH HIS LIFE
``"3e 9P79p 0LAYED BY 3ANTIAGO #ABRERA
!GE !BILITY 3UPERHUMAN STRENGTH THROUGH HER ALTER EGO /CCUPATION 7EBCAM STRIPPER 0LACE OF /RIGIN ,AS 6EGAS .EVADA
!GE !BILITY 0RECOGNITION /CCUPATION !RTIST COMIC BOOK CREATOR 0LACE OF /RIGIN .EW 9ORK #ITY
.IKI HAS STRUGGLED TO MAKE ENDS MEET AS A SINGLE MOTHER SINCE HER HUSBAND $ , WAS IMPRISONED FOR MURDER .OW SHE FEARS FOR HERSELF AND HER SON -ICAH HER BOY GENIUS HAVING REALISED THAT HER MIRROR IMAGE IS SOMEONE ELSE A STRONG AND VIOLENT WOMAN CALLED *ESSICA
! THRIVING BUT DISTURBED ARTIST )SAAC HAS A LOVE HATE RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS POWER HE CAN PAINT THE FUTURE BUT APPARENTLY ONLY WHEN HE IS HIGH ON HEROIN )SAAC HOPES TO GET CLEAN BUT BELIEVES THAT HE CAN SAVE THE WORLD WITH HIS ABILITIES (IS DRUG ADDICTION PUSHES HIM AND HIS GIRLFRIEND 3IMONE $EVERAUX AN ART DEALER FURTHER AND FURTHER APART
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.0 MRR 4HE ,IFE /N -ARS SPIN OFF DETAILS HAVE RECENTLY BEEN ANNOUNCED 4HE NEW SHOW !SHES TO !SHES WILL BE FAST FORWARDING TO ,ONDON WITH SERIES REGULAR 'ENE (UNT PLAYED BY 0HILIP 'LENISTER SET TO RETURN SWAPPING HIS ICONIC &ORD #ORTINA FOR AN !UDI 1UATTRO
0LAYED BY !DRIAN 0ASDAR
0RISON "REAK IS TO BE REMADE AS A MOVIE FOR THE #HINESE AUDIENCE !CCORDING TO 4HE "EIJING -ORNING 0OST THE #HINESE VERSION WILL FEATURE NEW PLOTLINES EXPANDED FROM THE ORIGINAL STORY SUCH AS A HIGH PROlLE COMPUTER VIRUS CASE FROM ! LARGE COMPUTER CORPORATION WILL REPLACE THE VICE PRESIDENT AND hTHE #OMPANYv AS THE MAIN ANTAGONIST
!GE !BILITY &LIGHT /CCUPATION 0ROSECUTOR AND #ONGRESSIONAL CANDIDATE 0LACE OF /RIGIN .EW 9ORK #ITY 0ETER S OLDER BROTHER AND THE GOLDEN BOY OF THE FAMILY .ATHAN IS A RUTHLESS OVERACHIEVER WHO S RUNNING FOR 5 3 #ONGRESS AND OFTEN PUTS HIS CAMPAIGN AHEAD OF HIS FAMILY WHICH CONSISTS OF HIS WHEELCHAIR BOUND WIFE AND TWO SONS (E FEARS HIS ECCENTRIC BROTHER AND MOTHER MIGHT BRING HIM DOWN BUT HAS NO PROBLEM USING THEM TO HIS ADVANTAGE WHEN WINNING POLLS
#OMEDIAN 0ETER +AY HAS TEAMED UP WITH 4HE 2OYLE &AMILY WRITER #RAIG #ASH FOR A NEW COMEDY SERIES 4HE DUO ARE IN TALKS WITH BROADCASTERS ABOUT THE SHOW WHICH SEES +AY PLAYING A BIN MAN 4HE ""# COULD BE ABOUT TO WITHDRAW FROM NEGOTIATIONS FOR !USTRALIAN SOAP .EIGHBOURS !FTER YEARS ON THE "EEB )46 ARE IN NEGOTIATIONS WITH .EIGHBOURS DISTRIBUTOR &REMANTLE -UST BE MAKING UP FOR LOOSING (OME AND !WAY TO &)6%x
THE EVENT
#REATIVE 7RITING
0/%429
02/3%
0,!93
3OUL OF 4IME
(IDDEN
4APESTRY OF &EAR
.OT A DROPLET IS LOST UPON DREAMING OT THE SWELTERING STARS OF THE NIGHT 4HE MOON ENCIRCLES THE MILK OF THE MORNING 3EEKING BARBAROUS GOLD AND BAZAARS FOR THE LIGHT
2ATS WILL CHEW THROUGH ANYTHING #ONSTANT GNAWING KEEPS THEIR EVER GROWING TEETH SHORT 2OWAN KNEW THIS (E KEPT RATS AS PETS )N HIS BASEMENT BEDROOM HE HAD HUNDREDS
3#(2/%$%2 AND &2!.+,). LOOK UP AT THE SKY
4HE TAPESTRY OF OUR BEING A VIVID VACANCY STARVED WITH THE THREAD OF THE UNKNOWN AND A RARE MIRACLE HALVED 7E OPEN THE HALVES OF A MIRACLE .O LONGER ALONE IN THE NIGHT ! DOUBLE SEASON OF SUMMER AND WINTER ) lND A DISTURBANCE OF LIGHT 4WO SHADOWS WITHIN A SHADOW REmECT THE lRE OF A ROSE FOR THE LIGHT IN THEIR HEARTS BURNS BRIGHTER THAN ANY PLANETS SUPPOSE 4HE SOUL OF TIME IN A MORTAL mAME BURNS IN THE HOUR OF DEPARTURE WHERE LIGHT PERFUMES THE PETALS OF EARTH AND MAKES WAY FOR DEATH S ADVENTURE
&2!.+,). )S IT LIGHT 2ATS WERE 2OWAN S ONLY FRIENDS 2OWAN S BEST FRIEND %CHO HAD PALE BROWN RINGS OF FUR DISPERSING FROM THE TIP OF HIS NOSE LIKE SOUND WAVES %CHO WAS SMALL A RUNT BUT VERY SMART (E WOULD SIT ON 2OWAN S SHOULDER AND WAS CONTENT TO SPEND THE DAY CURLED UP HIDDEN IN 2OWAN S SCHOOL BAG
3#(2/%$%2 )T ISN T DARK 0AUSE 7HERE S YOUR APPLE
/NE AFTERNOON AS 2OWAN WAS CROSSING THE lELD TO HIS HOUSE %CHO WAS DISCOVERED ! BOY TRIPPED 2OWAN OVER AND AFTER KICKING HIM IN THE STOMACH EMPTIED THE CONTENTS OF HIS BAG %CHO STUNNED AND DISORIENTATED WASN T FAST ENOUGH TO ESCAPE THE BOY S FOOT %CHO S SKULL CRUNCHED
&2!.+,). GETS APPLE OUT OF HIS POCKET
%NRAGED 2OWAN POUNCED AT THE BOY "EFORE HE COULD THINK HE HAD A ROCK IN HIS HANDS AND WAS POUNDING IT INTO THE BOY S FACE 3OON 2OWAN WAS WIPING BLOOD FROM HIS EYES 4HE FACELESS BOY WAS STILL
&2!.+,). 3O WHY DID YOU ASK FOR IT
2OWAN FELT NO REMORSE 4HERE WAS ONLY ONE PROBLEM LEFT TO DEAL WITH WHERE TO HIDE THE BODY
&2!.+,). 7OULD YOU LIKE A BITE 3#(2/%$%2 9ES ) MEAN NO YOU CAN DEAL WITH IT
3#(2/%$%2 *UST TO CHECK SOMETHING &2!.+,). THROWS APPLE TO 3#(2/%$%2 MISSES %.4%2 $/..9 WHO FEELS ABOUT INSIDE HIS HAT PEERS INTO IT SHAKES IT &2!.+,). 4O $/..9 /H IT S YOU AGAIN
BY )MAN 3ID
,ILY (EY ) M DETERMINED TO STILL LOATHE AND DIG YOU DETERMINED LIKE A LILY THE VINDICTIVE LILY LIKE SENSUALITY OF YOU &OR BRINGING UPON THE MONKEYS DIM SKY FALLEN ON THE WHITE SUN LILY 9ES LIKE INDIGO LILY OF THE .ILE VALLEY REALLY DETERMINED STILL HATING %STEBAN 9ES OUT LIKE CRUDE MUSIC GO OUT DANCING WITH ROSES LILY SAY NOTHING IN THINE EYES THY SMALL FEET FOREVER SOMBER VENTING THE ODD NUT ,ILY BACK HOME SO SOON BY 4ULAY 'UNES
3EASON 4HROUGH THE lNGERPRINTS ON MY WINDOW CLOUDLESS BLUE SKY
2OWAN DRAGGED THE BODY TO HIS BEDROOM 2OWAN KNEW RATS WILL CHEW THROUGH ANYTHING %VEN HUMAN mESH
$/..9 )S IT
BY 3OPHIE 0LAYLE
&2!.+,). ) M SURE OF IT
! -AN .AMED 6INNY
3#(2/%$%2 9OU RE NOT GOING TO PULL ANY MORE STORIES OUT OF YOUR HAT ARE YOU
4HE SUN WAS STILL A DECENT HEIGHT IN THE SKY AS WE WALKED ACROSS THE PARKING LOT TOWARDS THE 6ETERANS HOSPITAL h3HOULDN T TAKE LONG v HE SAID h"E REAL QUICK *UST IN @N OUT v h9EAH v ) SAID h7HATEVER IT TAKES BUD )T S NO PROBLEM v h9A SURE YOU DIDN T WANNA JUST HANG BACK AT MY HOUSE CHILL BY THE POOL CATCH SOME RAYS ) DON T WANT YA TO BE BORED JUST SITTIN HERE v h.AH IT S ALL RIGHT v ) SAID h) WANT TO SPEND AS MUCH TIME AS ) CAN WITH YOU BUD v ) TURNED TO HIM QUICKLY AND SMILED BUT HE DIDN T LOOK AT ME h!LRIGHT v HE SAID h7ELL IT LL BE REAL QUICK ANYWAY )N @N OUT !ND THEN WE LL BE OFF TO CRACK SOME #ORONAS AND CELEBRATE ANOTHER SUMMER NIGHT OUT v h9EAH v ) SAID h/UR LAST ONE TOGETHER v ) TURNED TO HIM AND SMILED AGAIN ) WAS GOING TO PUT MY ARM AROUND HIS SHOULDER OR REACH UP AND TAP HIS CHEEK OR SOMETHING BUT AT THE SAME MOMENT HE LOOKED AWAY FROM ME EYES STRAIGHT AHEAD AS THOUGH HE WERE OBSERVING THE ANGLE OF THE SUNLIGHT ON THE SIDE OF THE BUILDING AND PULLED DOWN HIS SUNGLASSES OVER HIS EYES (E SMILED BUT ) REMEMBER THE CORNER OF HIS MOUTH JUST FAINTLY TREMBLED AS IF WHAT HE REALLY WANTED TO DO WAS CRY ) REMEMBER *0 WOULD ALWAYS SMILE THAT WAY WHEN ) TALKED LIKE THAT h,ET S JUST GET DRUNK AND HAVE A GOOD TIME v HE SAID h!ND CHASE US AROUND SOME CHICKAS AND SENIORITAS #AN T FORGET ABOUT THAT v ) ADDED WITH A NEW BIG SMILE NOW h) GOTTA GET YOU LAID MAN v HE SAID LOOKING AT ME h'ET YOU A NICE PIECE OF ,ONG )SLAND ASS SO YA CAN GO BACK TO "OSTON AND TELL ALL YOUR FRIENDS HOW WE DO IT DOWN HERE v h7ELL THAT S lNE WITH ME v ) SAID hBUT MAYBE NOT ONE QUITE SO HOW SHOULD ) SAY FULL THROUGH THE HIPS AND MAXIMUM GLUTEUS THIS TIME v *0 ROARED WITH LAUGHTER ; =
BY 7ALTER 0LINGE BY *OE -ODUGNO
THE EVENT
$/..9 PICKS UP THE APPLE $/..9 /H A WRINKLED APPLE &2!.+,). -Y APPLE $/..9 9OUR APPLE 3#(2/%$%2 (IS APPLE ISN T WRINKLED )T COMES FROM A TIMELESS SQUARE ,ET ME SEE IT $/..9 7AIT $/..9 HOLDS OUT APPLE 3#(2/%$%2 7HAT S HAPPENING $/..9 3OMETHING IS TAKING ITS COURSE ; = BY )MAN 3ID
3END IN YOUR 0S 0OETRY 0ROSE AND 0LAYS %MAIL YOUR STUFF TO )MAN 3ID AT CONCRETE CREATIVEWRITING UEA AC UK
&EATURE
&EATURE
7HEN WE THINK OF MUSIC IN THE S WHAT DO WE DISCERNING "RITS THINK OF 4WO THINGS n THE BLIGHT OF GIRL BOY BANDS THAT ASSAULTED OUR EARS AND THE CHARTS DURING THE LATTER HALF OF THE DECADE AND THE GLEAMING JEWEL IN "RITISH MU SIC S CROWN THAT WAS "RITPOP (OW AND WHY "RITPOP BEGAN IS AN ARGU MENT THAT HAS RAGED SINCE WELL THE EARLY S BUT IT S ONE THAT S CLOAKED IN UNCERTAINTY -OST NOTABLY *OHN (ARRIS OFlCIALLY 4HE "EST -USIC *OURNALIST EVER IN OUR BOOKS SUGGEST THAT IT BEGAN AS A BACKLASH TO THE #ONSERVA TIVES REGIME ENDING AND AS A WAY OF EXPRESS ING ONESELF THAT COULDN T BE FOUND IN -RS 4HATCHER S DEPRESSING %NGLAND 2EGARDLESS OF HOW IT BEGAN IT S GENERALLY AGREED THAT "LUR S MAGNUM OPUS -ODERN ,IFE IS 2UBBISH WITH IT S WITTY LYRICS REVOLVING AROUND HOW GREAT IT IS TO BE "RITISH AND GUITAR BASED ROOTS IN THRALL TO "RITAIN S LAST MUSICAL HEYDAY OF THE S KICK STARTED THE MOVEMENT "RITPOP GAVE US COUNTLESS AMAZING BANDS "LUR /ASIS 3UEDE 0ULP 3UPER &URRY !NIMALS 3UPERGRASS 4HE 6ERVE %LASTICA AND OTHERS THAT DISTANCED THEMSELVES FROM THE WHOLE PHENOMENON LIKE 2ADIOHEAD -ANIC 3TREET 0REACHERS !SH AND #ATATONIA AND AN EXHAUSTIVE BACK CATALOGUE OF MEMORABLE SONGS CHECK OUT THE MONTHLY
'RUNGE
4HE @2ACHEL HAIRCUT
'RUNGE BECAME POPULAR IN THE EARLY S LEADING TO THE DRESS SENSE OF #OBAIN ET AL SEEPING INTO OUR CULTURE 4HIS FASH ION WAS IN DIRECT CONTRAST TO THE BRIGHT COLOURS THAT HAD FOLLOWED PEOPLE INTO THE S FROM THE S AND WAS CHARAC TERISED BY mANNEL SHIRTS DARK JEANS AND COLOURS LIKE MAROON BLACK AND BROWN 'RUNGE ALSO MADE $OC -ARTENS ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR TYPES OF FOOTWEAR IN THE S WITH MANY PEOPLE OWNING MORE THAN ONE PAIR OF EITHER THE SHOES OR BOOTS 4HEY WERE AVAILABLE IN MANY DIFFERENT COLOURS FROM RED TO BROWN
7HILE *ENNIFER !NISTON WAS lNDING FAME AS 2ACHEL 'REEN ON THE HIT SERIES &RIENDS HER HAIR WAS BECOM ING EVEN MORE RECOGNISABLE ON IT S OWN )T WAS A LAYERED SHAGGY HARISTYLE WITH SLIGHTLY STRAIGHTENED PORTIONS AND BE CAME THE MUST HAVE HAIRSTYLE OF THE S )T WAS VOTED THE MOST INmUEN CIAL HAIRSTYLE OF ALL TIME IN A POLL BY -ORPHY 2ICHARDS BEATING THOSE OF 0RINCESS $IANA S SHORT DO AND &ARAH &AWCETT S hmIPv
!RTS
3CRUNCHIES 0OPPER 4ROUSERS
3ATURDAYS
!MERICAN )MPORTS
4HIS WAS 46 DAY IN THE S 9OU D START OFF WITH ,IVE +ICKING OR LATER IN THE DECADE 3- 46 ,IVE )T WOULD BE A MORNING OF RANDOM GAMES CAR TOONS AND CELEBRITY PHONE INS HOSTED BY PRE SENTING GREATS LIKE !NDI 0ETERS AND :OE "ALL 9OU WOULD THEN RETURN TO THE BOX AT APPROXI MATELY PM TO BEGIN AN EVENING OF AMAZING ENTERTAINMENT 7HO CAN FORGET 7OLF OR *ET FROM 'LADIATORS COMPETING AGAINST MEMBERS OF THE PUBLIC WHILE THE NOW LEGENDARY 3COTTISH REFEREE *OHN !NDERSON SHOUTED h#OMPETITORS READY v 4HIS WOULD BE FOLLOWED BY SUCH CLASSICS AS .OEL S (OUSE 0ARTY -R "LOBBY 'OTCHAS AND GUNGE OR #HALLENGE !NNEKA ) KNOW LET S LEAP FROM A HELICOPTER WEAR LYCRA OUTlTS AND REBUILD VILLAGE HALLS 7ITH THE LIKES OF "UGS AND #ASUALTY TO lNISH OFF THE DAY WHO COULD ARGUE THAT 3ATURDAY WAS THE GREATEST 46 IN THE S
!LTHOUGH PREVIOUS YEARS HAD SEEN THE LIKES OF (APPY $AYS AND $ALLAS SHIPPED OVER THE POND TO OUR SCREENS THE S SAW A NUMBER OF HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL 53 SHOWS IN THE 5+ $AWSON S #REEK "OY -EETS 7ORLD AND 4HIRD 2OCK FROM THE 3UN WERE ALL AIMED AT THE TEEN MARKET WITH $AWSON AND FRIENDS ACHIEVING THE MOST SUCCESS OVER HERE 4HE WORLDWIDE S PHENOMENON THAT WAS &RIENDS AR RIVED IN "RITAIN IN AND WE SOON ALL FELL IN LOVE WITH *OEY 2ACHEL AND #HANDLER ET AL 4HERE WAS ALSO A SCI l RESURGENCE IN THE S WITH THREE 3TAR 4REK SPIN OFFS 4HE .EXT 'ENERATION $EEP 3PACE .INE AND 6OYAGER ALL LASTING FOR AT LEAST SIX YEARS EACH 4HE GENRE WAS ALSO BOOSTED BY OTHER SUCCESSFUL SERIES SUCH AS 3TARGATE 3' "UFFY AND OF COURSE 4HE 8 &ILES
3HAG "ANDS 0OLLY 0OCKET
THE EVENT
+IDS 46 7HILE TODAY CHILDREN GET HOME FROM SCHOOL TO WATCH :OE AND 3PONGEBOB 3QUAREPANTS WE RUSHED BACK AT PM FOR MUCH BETTER AND MORE ENTERTAINING REASONS 4HIS WAS A DECADE OF GREAT CARTOONS FROM 4EENAGE -UTANT .INJA 4URTLES NO 4-.4 FOR US TO THE GROWTH OF 4HE 3IMPSONS THROUGHOUT THE S )T WAS ALSO A TIME OF GOOD "RITISH KID S 46 NAMELY "YKER 'ROVE &UNHOUSE AND THE CONTINUED POPULARITY OF 'RANGE (ILL &ROM 0AT 3HARPE S MULLET TO !NT AND $EC BEING KNOWN AS 0* AND $UNCAN WE CAN VIVIDLY REMEM BER A TIME THAT ALSO GAVE US A NEW GLIMPSE INTO BEING AN !MERICAN CHILD IN THE S THROUGH SHOWS LIKE 3AVED BY THE "ELL AND 4HE &RESH 0RINCE OF "EL !IR !NYONE WHO WAS ANYONE COULD RECITE THE ENTIRETY OF THE LYRICS THAT 7ILL 3MITH RAPPED AT THE BEGINNING OF EACH EPISODE AND THERE ARE MANY PEOPLE WHO STILL CAN EVERYONE AT 4HE %VENT INCLUDED
0OGS 4AZOS
3ENSIBLE 3OCCER
$O 4HE "ARTMAN
2UGRATS
2OLLER 3KATES
#OMPUTING )N "RITAIN THE S IN ART MEANT ONE THING n "RITART 4HIS WAS THE MOVEMENT THAT WAS ASSOCIATED WITH WILD 9OUNG "RITISH !RTISTS 9"!S AND CERTAIN AREAS OF ,ON DON WITH NAMES LIKE $AMIEN (IRST
4ELEVISION
&RUIT OF THE ,OOM
S
3ARAH ,UCAS AND 4RACY %MIN 4RACY %MIN S MOST NOTORIOUS PIECE WAS h-Y "EDv HER CONTROVERSIAL ENTRY FOR THE 4URNER 0RIZE THAT FEATURED HER DIRTY UNMADE BED COVERED IN USED CONDOMS AND BLOOD STAINED UNDERWEAR 4HIS TOGETHER WITH PIECES SUCH AS $AMIEN (IRST S FAMOUS h4HE 0HYSICAL )MPOSSIBILITY OF $EATH IN THE -IND OF 3OMEONE ,IVINGv AKA A FOOT SHARK SUSPENDED IN THALIDOMIDE MADE THE "RITISH ART SCENE OF THE S INTERNATIONALLY RECOGNISABLE )T WAS ALSO A GREAT DECADE FOR BOOK RELEASES 4HOSE MOST MEMORABLE FOR 4HE %VENT INCLUDE 'OOSEBUMPS THE HORROR SERIES FOR TEENS BY 2 , 3TINE THAT HAD TITLES PUB LISHED BETWEEN AND WHICH WERE SOMETIMES BANNED FOR THEIR VIOLENT CONTENT (OWEVER THE SERIES THAT HAS ENDURED THE BEST FROM THE S IS OF COURSE (ARRY 0OT TER 4HE lRST THREE BOOK WERE PUBLISHED IN THE S AND TO DATE HAVE SOLD A COLLECTIVE MILLION COPIES
'ORDON THE 'OPHER
4AMAGOTCHIS
/PAL &RUITS
"UGS
$AVE "ENSON 0HILLIPS
7HILE "LUR AND /ASIS FOUGHT IT OUT IN THE CHARTS THE WAR THAT WAS WAGED ON OUR HOME CONSOLES BACK IN THE S WAS A FAR SMALLER AFFAIR )N THE BLUE CORNER REPRE SENTED BY A SPEEDY HEDGEHOG WAS 3EGA AND IN .INTENDO S RED CORNER WAS A PORTLY MOUS TACHIOED PLUMBER CALLED -ARIO .INTENDO CLEARLY DOMINATED THE GAM ING MARKET IN THE S WITH THEIR BRANDS AND CONSOLES BECOMING SOME OF THE MOST REC OGNISABLE FACETS OF THE DECADE 4HE 'AME "OY STILL THE BIGGEST SELLING CONSOLE EVER WAS RE LAUNCHED AS THE 'AME"OY #OLOUR AS THE DECADE ENDED AND IT S AMUSING TO NOTE THAT THE 'AME"OY !DVANCE THE SUCCESSOR TO THAT IS STILL OUTSELLING THE 03 IN !MERICA AND A RAFT OF GREAT GAMES FOR BOTH CON SOLES FROM 0OKEMON TO VARIOUS -ARIO OUT INGS ENSURED THE PORTABLE CONSOLE A PLACE IN THE HEARTS OF MANY GAMERS WORLDWIDE 4HE 3.%3 .INTENDO S COMPETITOR TO 3EGA S -EGA$RIVE OUTSOLD THE LATTER CONSIDERABLY DUE TO MEMORABLE GAMES LIKE 3UPER -ARIO 7ORLD ! ,INK 4O 4HE 0AST 3TAR 7ING AND & :ERO AND FOLLOW UP THE . HAD ANOTHER SLEW OF GREAT GAMES 3UPER -ARIO 'OLD ENEYE 4HE /CARINA OF 4IME 3UPER -ARIO +ART AND FORGOTTEN GEMS *ET &ORCE 'EMINI AND 3PACE 3TATION 3ILICON 6ALLEY 7ITH .INTENDO S
!LLY -C"EAL
3IM #ITY
CONSTANT REINVENTION EVIDENT STILL FROM THE 7II THEY WERE THE BEST THING ABOUT GAMING IN THE S BAR NONE AND IT S CLEARLY GOING TO STAY THAT WAY FOR THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE &OR MOST PEOPLE THE 3EGA -EGA $RIVE EQUALS ONE THING n 3ONIC 4HE LITTLE BLUE HEDGEHOG lRST INTRODUCED TO THE WORLD IN SOON BECAME THE FACE OF 3EGA 7HO DIDN T ENJOY HIS 3ONIC 3PINS JUMPING TO GET GOLD RINGS AND CONSTANT BATTLES WITH $R 2OBOTNIK (OURS WERE WHILED AWAY TRYING TO GET PAST THE VARIOUS LEVELS AND THE ADDI TION OF 4AILS HIS mYING FOX COMPANION IN 3ONIC JUST MADE IT EVEN BETTER ALTHOUGH 4AILS COULD BE A LITTLE ANNOYING !DD TO THIS GAMES LIKE 3TREET &IGHTER *AMES 0OND AND 'OLDEN !XE AND THE -EGA$RIVE APPEARED TO BE POSSIBLY THE ULTIMATE GAME CONSOLE (OWEVER THE APPEARANCE OF THE 3ONY 0LAYSTATION IN MEANT THERE WAS A NEW PLAYER IN THE CONSOLE WARS ONE THAT USED THE REVOLUTIONARY NEW DISCS INSTEAD OF CAR TRIDGES SOMETHING THAT MADE IT STAND OUT FROM ALL IT S CONTEMPORARIES AND LED TO IT BE ING THE . S ONLY MAIN RIVAL AT THE END OF THE DECADE
4HE )NTERNET
%D THE $UCK
THE EVENT
$UCK (UNT 4HE 1UEEN S .OSE
/K SO WHO WOULDN T WANT TO BE SEEN IN THE OUTlT BE LOW 7ITH IT S VIVID PATTERNS AND EYE CATCHING COLOURS IN THE S YOU COULD WALK DOWN THE STREET WITH PRIDE IN THIS "RIGHT AND NEON COL OURS ESPECIALLY BLUE YELLOW ORANGE PINK AND GREEN WERE ALL THE RAGE AND COULD BE TEAMED WITH ANY NUMBER OF EQUALLY BRIGHT ACCESSORIES $ENIM ITEMS BECAME POPULAR IN THE S TOO AND HAVE REMAINED SO EVER SINCE 4HOSE MOST WORN IN THIS DECADE WERE DUNGAREES JACKETS AND VAR YING COLOURS OF DENIM JEANS
2AVES
"RIGHT #OLOURS AND $ENIM
4HESE TWO S FASHION FAUX PAS WERE CONTINUED STRAIGHT OUT OF THE S DESPITE MANY A PROTEST 3HELLSUITS DESCRIBED ONLINE AS hA LIGHTWEIGHT FRONT ZIPPERED NYLON JOGGING TOP MATCHED WITH LOOSE BOTTOM TROUSERS CUFF GATHERED AND WITH AN ELASTICATED WAIST v WERE MAINLY THE ATTIRE OF THE UNDER S IN THE S HAVING BEEN LONG ABAN DONED BY MOST SENSIBLE ADULTS 3PANDEX AND ,YCRA WERE ALSO OUTSTAYING THEIR WELCOME IN THE S BUT LUCKILY WERE ALSO CON TAINED TO THE WARDROBES OF THE YOUTH AND OF COURSE THE LIKES OF -R -OTIVATOR AND 2OSE MARY #ONELY
!RNOLD 3CHWARZENEGGER
3MASH (ITS -AGAZINE
3HELL 3UITS AND 3PANDEX
4HERE WERE MANY lLMS WE LOVED HATED OR FELT INDIFFERENTLY ABOUT THROUGHOUT THE DECADE 4HE BEGINNING OF THE S SAW THE RELEASE OF THE ETERNALLY POPULAR 0RETTY 7OMAN ALONG WITH THE lLM THAT MADE -ACAU LY #ULKIN (OME !LONE $ISNEY CONTINUED THEIR SUCCESS WITH THE STRING OF POPULAR ANIMATED lLMS SUCH AS 4HE ,ION +ING "EAUTY AND THE "EAST AND 4HE *UNGLE "OOK /THER POPULAR lLMS FOR CHILDREN INCLUDED (OOK *URASSIC 0ARK AND 4OY 3TORY WHICH HAD SPAWNED A FURTHER SE QUEL BY THE END OF THE DECADE !S WE GREW UP OUR TASTES BECAME MORE DARE WE SAY IT MATURE 7E WERE TREATED TO THE CINEMATIC DE LIGHTS OF -IKE -YERS IN 7AYNE S 7ORLD WATCHED THE HEARTWRENCHING DEATH OF *ACK $AWSON IN 4ITANIC AND DISCOVERED NEW AND INVENTIVE THINGS TO DO WITH AP PLE PIES IN !MERICAN 0IE "RITISH lLMS ALSO FEATURED HEAVILY ON OUR SCREENS WITH 4HE &ULL -ONTY 4RAINSPOTTING AND &OUR 7EDDINGS AND A &UNERAL MAKING INTERNATIONAL STARS OF ACTORS LIKE (UGH 'RANT AND 2OBERT #ARLISE 0OSSIBLY THE WINNER OF THE DECADE IN BOTH MONEY AND POP ULARITY TERMS WAS 4OM (ANKS 4HE !MERICAN ACTOR HAD MUL TIPLE SUCCESSES WITH BIG MOV IES INCLUDING 3LEEPLESS IN 3EATTLE 3AVING 0RIVATE 2YAN AND 9OU VE 'OT -AIL TO NAME JUST A FEW 7E DON T KNOW ABOUT YOU BUT WE STILL WATCH MANY OF THESE S lLMS TIME AND TIME AGAIN
"IG "REAKFAST
&ASHION
"RITPOP NIGHT AT THE 7ATERFRONT FOR EVI DENCE OF THIS OR EVE RYONE SDRUNKENREAC TION WHEN 0ARKLIFE OR $ISCO IS PLAYED AT AN ,#2 YET THE EVENT THAT STICKS IN EVERYONE S MIND IS THAT "LUR VS /ASIS CLASH OF !UGUST 3OUTH AGAINST NORTH MIDDLE CLASS AGAINST WORKING CLASS INTELLIGENCE AGAINST TESTOSTERONE THERE WAS NO ANGLE THAT THE PRESS DIDN T TAKE AND WHILE "LUR EVENTUALLY WON WITH #OUNTRY (OUSE SEARCH 9OU4UBE FOR THE $AMIEN (IRST DIRECT ED VIDEO STARRING A YOUNG -ATT ,UCAS /ASIS TRUMPED "LUR IN TERMS OF SALES AND OVERALL LON GEVITY AS THEIR TEMPLATE FOR MAKING ONE SONG OVER AND OVER HAS PROVED 4HE MOVEMENT GAVE "RITISH ROCK A MUCH NEEDED KICK UP THE ARSE AND AS THE LEGIONS OF "RITISH GUITAR WIELDING BANDS CURRENTLY AROUND TESTIlES IT SET OFF AN EARTHQUAKE WHOSE TREMOURS WILL BE FELT FOR YEARS TO COME 4HEN ON THE mIPSIDE OF THE S MUSICAL COIN WE HAVE THE HOARDES OF BUBBLEGUM POP BANDS THAT GAVE PUBESCENT GIRLS DANCE ROUTINES AND ASPIRATIONS AND LED TO NIGHTMARES IN ADO LESCENT BOYS 4HE 3PICE 'IRLS !LL 3AINTS 3 #LUB AND THEIR DISTURBING CLONES 3 #LUB *UNIORS WHO LATER BECAME 3 #LUB x CONFUSING 4AKE 4HAT "OYZONE 7ESTLIFE 3TEPS "ACKSTREET "OYS .39.# &IVE " 7ITCHED #LEOPATRA AND ! x GOOD TIMES EH /R NOT 7E RE SETTLING FOR THE LATTER #HRIS (YDE
+ENAN +EL
0* $UNCAN
3OME LOVE IT SOME HATE IT 7HATEVER YOU THINK OF RETRO WE AT 4HE %VENT THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUN TO REMINISCE ABOUT THE DECADE THAT GAVE US SUCH GREATS AS 'LADIATORS 0OKEMON AND -R "LOBBY 3O JOIN &IONA "ILLINGS AS SHE TAKES US ON A TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE
&ILM
0LASTIC ,UNCHBOXES
"RYAN !DAMS WITH WEEKS AT .O
-USIC
3TICKER 3WAPPING
-ACARENA
.OW 4HAT S 7HAT 7E #ALLED 4HE S
-USIC
!LBUM 2EVIEWS !RCTIC -ONKEYS &AVOURITE 7ORST .IGHTMARE )T S MORE THAN LIKELY THAT YOU LL OWN THIS RECORD NOW IT LL BE MORE THAN LIKELY REACHING ITS UMPTEENTH SPIN ON YOUR #$ PLAYER AND IT LL BE MORE THAN LIKELY BREAKING ALL FORMER ITUNES PLAY COUNT RECORDS THAT WERE PREVIOUSLY HELD BY h) "ET 9OU ,OOK 'OODxv AND h&AKE 4ALESxv !S THIS REVIEWER SITS AT HIS DESK AIMING TO WORK OUT THE REASONS WHY THE -ONKEY S SOPHOMORE EFFORT RULES MORE THAN ANY OTHER RECORD THIS YEAR HE lNDS HIMSELF DISTRACTED BY ""# NEWS FEEDS ON THE FACT THAT &AVOUR ITE 7ORST .IGHTMARE HAS SOLD MORE THAN THE WHOLE TOP PUT TOGETHER WE HATE TO PUT THIS TO YOU !VRIL BUT YOU REALLY SHOULD OF PICKED ANOTHER WEEK TO RELEASE "EST $AMN 4HING 3UCCESS FOR THE !RCTIC -ONKEYS THEN 7ELL YEAH OBVIOUSLY !N ALBUM TAUGHT WITH BULLDOZING 1/43! ESQUE GUITAR RIFFERY THE BEST RHYTHM SECTION THE 5 + MUSIC SCENE HAS TO OFFER AND LYRICS STUFFED WITH EMOTIONAL DEPTH AMBIGUITY AND WHISPER ITx PRO MISCUITY HAS CEMENTED THEM AS THE BIGGEST INDIE SUC CESS STORY THIS SIDE OF THE MILLENNIUM !LL HAIL THE !RCTIC -ONKEYS AND &AVOURITE 7ORST .IGHTMAREx )N OUR HYPERBOLIC ST CENTURY WORLD IT S ALL TOO EASY TO TOSS AROUND STATEMENTS LIKE THE ABOVE ESPECIALLY WITH THE !RCTIC -ONKEYS BECAUSE LIKE IT OR NOT THEY RE A BAND OF THE HYPE !LEX 4URNER DIDN@T WANT YOU TO BE LIEVE IT BUT YOU DID ANYWAY !ND WHY "ECAUSE EVERY SO OFTEN A BAND COMES AROUND THAT DESERVES EVERY BIT OF PRAISE YOU THROW THEIR WAY BECAUSE PUT SIMPLY THEY RE CONSISTENTLY PLAYING AT THE TOP OF THEIR GAME AND QUITE FRANKLY EVERYONE ELSE S GAME 4HEY MAY ONLY BE LIKE 4HE "EATLES 4HE #LASH .IRVANA /ASIS hJUST A BANDv
BUT THEY RE A RUDDY ONE GOOD ONE AT THAT &AVOURITE 7ORST .IGHTMARE WILL SILENCE EVERY DOUBTER AND EVERY mOURO CLAD INDIE CINDY THAT BELIEVE THIS BAND WERE NOTHING MORE THAN A mASH IN THE PAN 4HE RIP ROARING OPENING FOUR TRACKS ARE EVIDENCE ALONE OF THEIR BURGEONING FORCE TAKE OPENER "RIANSTORM )T S A TALE OF A *APANESE EGOTIST APTLY NAMED "RIAN AND IT SMACKS YOU RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE TEETH STAMPEDING ALL OVER DOUBTERS VILLE IN A mURRY OF -USE ESQUE GIGANTI CISM "LIMEY .EXT UP 4EDDY 0ICKER &AKE 4ALESxSINISTER COUSIN IS CRAWLING WITH BITTERNESS AND RAGE TOWARDS THE INESCAPABLE FAME THAT GOES HAND IN HAND WITH SUCCESS &ROM 4URNER S CLOSING LINE hWHO D WANT TO BE MEN OF THE PEOPLE WHEN THERE S PEOPLE LIKE YOU v TO (ELDER S SNIPE AT THE TRY HARDS hTHE KIDS ALL DREAM OF MAKING IT WHATEVER THAT MEANS v IT S A RELENTLESS MINUTES OF FANTASTICALLY ARTICULATED TEEN ANGST /UCH %SCAPE CAPER $ IS FOR $ANGEROUS SEES THEM DABBLING IN NEW LEVELS OF PROMISCUOUS SONG CRAFT h$ IS FOR DE LIGHTFUL AND TRYING TO KEEP YOUR TROUSERS ON v EVIDENCE THAT BEING IN A BAND DOES ACTUALLY INCREASE YOUR CHANCES WITH THE WOMENxTHE HORNY BEGGARS "ALACLAVA DOES VERY MUCH THE SAME BUT THIS TIME THE SUBJECT IS THE ADRENALINE FUELLED WRONG DOINGS OF THEIR FORMER LIVES hIT S WRONG WRONG WRONG BUT WE LL DO IT ANYWAY CAUSE WE LOVE A BIT OF TROUBLEv !ND JUST AS YOU THOUGHT THE AL BUM COULDN T GET MUCH BETTER THEY HIT YOU WITH ANOTHER CLASSIC IN THE MAKING &LUORESCENT !DOLESCENT PROOF IF YOU NEEDED IT THAT !RCTIC -ONKEYS ARE STILL PERFORMING AT THE VERY HIGHEST CALIBRE
4HE MESMERIZING /NLY /NES 7HO +NEW DEMON STRATES THE STRIPPED DOWN BEAUTY OF THE -ONKEYS IN AN EVEN MORE PROMINENT WAY THAN FORMER CLASSIC 2IOT 6AN WHILE /LD 9ELLOW "RICKS SEES THEM GETxWELL A BIT WEIRD ER BY TACKLING 4HE 7IZARD /F /Z h$OROTHY WAS RIGHT THOUGH v 7E LL TAKE YOUR WORD FOR IT !LEX &AVOURITE 7ORST .IGHTMARE TAKES EVERYTHING THAT WAS BRILLIANT WITH 7HATEVER 0EOPLE 3AY ) !MxAND THRILLINGLY UPS THE ANTE IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE &ITTING CLOSER IS AN HONEST AND EMOTIONALLY COMPELLING lNALE THAT TUGS ON THE HEART STRINGS THROUGH BOTH 4URNER S LYRICAL ANGUISH h"UT ) CRUMBLE COMPLETELY WHEN YOU CRYv AND THE REALISATION THAT THIS ALBUM HAS WILL CEMENT !RCTIC -ONKEYS AS THE BAND OF OUR TIMES (YPERBOLIC BULLSHIT $ECIDE FOR YOURSELVES 'REG 3ULLIVAN
3WITCHES
4HE -ACCABEES
4HE (ORRORS
(EART 4UNED 4O $ % ! $
#OLOUR )T )N
3TRANGE (OUSE
)T S 'ROT ROCK RULES THE AIRWAVES WITH RUMOURS OF A ,IBERTINES REUNION DOING THE ROUNDS ON THE .-% FORUMS AND 4HE 6IEW BLEATING ON ABOUT DISC JOCKEYS WHILE THE INDIE ROCK CLASS OF +AISER #HIEFS -AXIMO 0ARK HAVE lNALLY HIT THE MAINSTREAM 4RY TELLING THAT TO 3OUTHEND S lNEST 3WITCHES WHO HAVE EMERGED FROM THE SHADOWS OF NONENTITY WITH AN ALBUM THAT S SO DRENCHED IN NOSTALGIA THAT YOU COULD ALMOST SEE THEM BATTLING IT OUT WITH A GROUP OF MONOBROWED "EATLES LOVING THUGS FROM -ANCHESTER FOR THE NUMBER ONE SPOT THIS SUMMER "EYOND THE USUAL HOLY TRINITY OF "RITPOP INmUENCES "LUR S EAR FOR A HOOK 3UPERGRASS WIDE EYED LOVE OF GLAM STOMPS AND 3UPER &URRY !NIMALS PENCHANT FOR QUIRKINESS HOWEVER THERE LIES A MORE OFFBEAT SET OF MUSICAL HEROES AT WORK WITH ECHOES OF 3MASHING 0UMPKINS AND 7EEZER SURFACING AT VARIOUS POINTS SUCH AS SLOW BURNING BALLAD 4HE .EED 4O "E .EEDED )N AMONGST 3WITCHES BALLSY ROCK ANTHEMS -ESSAGE &ROM 9UZ AND CHORUS DRIVEN SING ALONGS ,AY $OWN THE ,AW CURRENTLY BURNING UP YOUR LOCAL INDIE DISCO THERE SEEMS TO LIE A BORED AND WEARY SENSE OF DISENFRANCHISEMENT WITH LIFE RUNNING THROUGHOUT h"UT ) GUESS IT S LIKE SNAKES AND LADDERS AS THEY CLIMB UP WE ALL SLIDE DOWNh SHRUGS SINGER -ATT 7ILLIS DISTRACTEDLY ON 3NAKES AND ,ADDERS ,IKE THE +AISERS BEFORE THEM THOUGH THIS DISTASTE FOR THEIR SURROUNDINGS DOESN T PREVENT THEM FROM KNOCKING OUT PERFECTLY POLISHED INDIE GEMS WITH NARY A THOUGHT 4UNE IN AND TURN ON TO 3WITCHES LET THE LIGHT OF THEIR MUSICAL MÏLANGE SHINE IN YOUR LIFE 9OU LL THANK US ONE DAY #HRIS (YDE
)T IS WITH A DEEP SENSE OF SHAME THAT THIS REVIEWER ADMITS THAT HE UTTERLY HATED 4HE -ACCABEES WHEN HE lRST SAW THEM ON THE .-% .EW "ANDS TOUR ON CAMPUS LAST YEAR AND LITTLE OF THEIR SUBSEQUENT CAREER ENDEAVOURED TO CHANGE THAT OPINION )T JUST GOES TO SHOW HOW LIKE SMACKING UP OR THE PATCHY CAREER OF !DAM 3ANDLER YOU SHOULDN T JUDGE SOMETHING BY PREVIOUS MISCONCEPTIONS AND THAT IT COULD OPEN YOUR MIND UP TO A WHOLE NEW SERIES OF POSSIBILITIES #OLOUR )T )N TAKES THE TEMPLATE OF HOW TO MAKE A GOOD OFFBEAT "RITISH RECORD LAST SEEN BEING CLUTCHED BY -YSTERY *ETS AND THROWS IT OUT OF THE WINDOW COMBINING THAT ECCENTRICITY WITH A WIDE EYED SENSE OF WHAT MAKES A DECENT ART POP ROCK HYBRID &ROM THE TREMBLING ACOUSTIC SKIFmE MEETS &RANZ ANGULAR ROCK OF OPENER 'OOD /LD "ILL TO CLOSING TRACK 4OOTHPASTE +ISSES MANDOLIN LED SUGARY SWEETNESS TOUCHING ON ALL MANNER OF MUSICAL POINTS IN BETWEEN THE ACOUSTIC POST PUNK OF / ! 6 ) 0 AND (APPY &ACES THE SONG THAT THE ,IBERTINES WOULD HAVE PRODUCED IF 0ETE INJECTED SHERBET AND REFRESHERS AND SHOT THROUGHOUT WITH LYRICS ABUT 3CALEXTRIC AND ,EGO !RCTIC -ONKEYS AND ALL THE CLONE BANDS TALES OF 3ATURDAY NIGHT KISSING @N KEBABS AND DRUNKEN DEBAUCHERY THIS AIN T THERE IS HONESTLY NOT A DUFF TRACK ON HERE 4HE -ACCABEES DEBUT IS UNDENIABLY MAGICAL MARVELLOUS AND MAGNIlCENT AND THIS REVIEWER IS ETERNALLY SORRY FOR EVER THINKING OTHERWISE (E LL NEVER CHANGE HIS OPINION ABOUT 4HE (ORRORS THOUGH 4HEY RE JUST PLAIN SHIT #HRIS (YDE
)T S FAIR TO HOLD A FEW PRE CONCEPTIONS ABOUT THE (ORRORS &LAUNTED FROM DAY ONE BY .-% ON THE GROUNDS OF A COUPLE OF EARLY WORK IN PROGRESS SINGLES GETTING INTO lGHTS WITH OTHER BANDS ON TOUR AND PLAYING CRIMINALLY SHORT SETS MINUTES IN THE 7ATERFRONT EARLIER THIS MONTH ANYONE THE BAND HAVE DONE THEMSELVES NO FAVORS "UT PREJUDICES AND YEAR OLD EMO FAN BASE ASIDE 3TRANGE (OUSE PROVES 4HE (ORRORS AREN T JUST BIG HAIR AND LASHING OF MAKE UP 7HILE EVERY SONG IS GIVEN A GOTHIC TOUCH n ORGANS AND SHOUTING GALORE THE ALBUM NEVER TREADS OVER THE DOOMED LINE TO HARDCORE METAL )T STICKS WITH A PSYCHEDELIC PUNK ROCK FEEL WITH HEAVY GUITAR RIFTS AND RUMBLING BASS LINES !BOVE ALL IT S A FUN EXPERIENCE &OR EXAMPLE )F $EATH AT THE #HAPEL WERE EVER TO BE GRACED WITH A MUSIC VIDEO IT WOULD BE THE (ORRORS BURSTING IN ON A 3UNDAY CHURCH SERVICE HIJACKING THE STAGE AND JUST RIPPING THE PLACE APART LEAVING CHURCH GO ERS AGHAST /BEYING THE NEW WAVE TREND IT S A DANCE ALBUM ALBEIT AN UNCONVENTIONAL ONE BUT ONE THAT NEVER CEASES TO STIMULATE #OUNTING IN &IVES COMPELS YOU TO TURN UP THE VOLUME ON EVERY LISTEN )T S A PROJECT THAT INCORPORATES EVERY SONG TO THE OVERALL EXPERIENCE MEANING EVEN UNINSPIRED SINGLE 3HEENA IS A 0ARASITE MANAGES TO CREATE QUITE A STIR
THE EVENT
*OHN -UTCH
-USIC
'OLDEN 3OUNDS 0AUL 3IMON
$AN ,E 3AC VS 3CROOBIUS 0IP 4HOU 3HALT !LWAYS +ILL
'RACELAND 4HE BUSTLING URBANE STREETS OF SIXTIES .EW 9ORK SO GREATLY ROMANTICISED BY IMAGES OF FOLKIES STRUM MING IN CAFÏS AND STUDENTS SPRAWLED OUT AROUND 'REENWICH 6ILLAGE ARE THE VERY SAME PLACES WHERE 0AUL 3IMON n OFTEN ASSISTED BY A 'ARFUNKEL TENOR n lRST PLIED HIS TRADE )T WAS THIS SCENE ALONG WITH COSY "RITISH FOLK WHICH INSPIRED THE lVE 3IMON 'ARFUNKEL ALBUMS (OWEVER BY 'ARFUNKEL AND COSY WERE BOTH LONG GONE AND SO WERE THE BUILT UP STREET SCENES 6AST !FRICAN PLATEAUS STRETCH OUT BEFORE YOU AS THE SQUEEZE BOX OF THE lRST TRACK WHEEZES INTO LIFE ! CONTEMPORARY COMMENTARY UNFOLDS WITH 0AUL 3I MON S NOW PERFECTED WORDY PATTER SO PROMINENT THROUGHOUT THE ALBUM AND MOST OBVIOUS ON 9OU #AN #ALL -E !L TAKING A TYPICAL SINGER SONGWRITER CENTRE STAGE DESPITE THE VAST ARRAY OF INSTRUMENTS AC COMPANYING HIM 4HE TITLE TRACK n WHICH HE CALLS HIS @BEST EVER DESCRIBES IN PRECISE AND CONCISE DETAIL THE LAND SCAPE THE DRIVING THE DESTINATION AND THE FEELINGS ENCOMPASSED IN DRIVING TO 'RACELAND #RASS IT MAY BE TO WRITE OF THE POETRY OF POP n ALTHOUGH PLENTY OF UNFORTUNATES HAVE DONE SO IN THE PAST n BUT JUST SUPPOSE SOMEONE COULD BE FORGIVEN FOR THINKING THAT ADDING MUSIC TO THESE LYRICS COULD NOT ADD ANY THING TO THE SENTIMENTS EXPRESSED "UT THE GROWLING FRETLESS BASS LINE AND GENTLE SLIDE GUITAR IMPOSE A HOLLOW AND ALMOST DESPERATE CALM TO A SONG WRIT TEN QUITE CLEARLY ON THE BACK OF HIS LATEST MARITAL
BREAK UP 7HY 'RACELAND 7ELL THE ALBUM IS IN HOMAGE TO BLACK MUSIC AND MUSICIANS .OT ONLY THE RECORDINGS BY 3OUTH !FRICAN GROUPS WHICH PROMPTED 3IMON TO MAKE THIS ALBUM AND INSPIRED MANY OF THE ALBUM TRACKS BUT ALSO THOSE OF EARLY ROCK @N ROLL PIONEERS 'RACELAND OF COURSE WAS HOME TO %LVIS 0RESLEY %LVIS TOOK BLACK MUSIC AND MADE IT ACCESSIBLE TO THE WHITE AND THEREFORE MASS MARKET 0AUL 3IMON IG NORING THE APARTHEID INDUCED CULTURAL BOYCOTT WENT TO 3OUTH !FRICA AND CREATED AN ALBUM OF UNMISTAK ABLY WHITE YET BLACK MUSIC ,ADYSMITH "LACK -AM BAZO YES THE ONES USED TO SELL BAKED BEANS RODE TO INTERNATIONAL FAME ON THE BACK OF THIS ALBUM 'RACELAND COVERED !MERICA AND THE 7EST AS MUCH AS IT TOOK IN !FRICA 4HE MUSICAL MAP DRAWN OUT BY 3IMON IS UNIQUE AND IS WHAT MAKES THIS ALBUM SO INCREDIBLY SPECIAL &RANCIS (AMLYN
/THER 3INGLES
#RIBS -EN S .EEDS 4HE #RIBS ARE ONE OF THOSE BANDS WHO HAVE ALWAYS BEEN ON THE FRINGES OF MAINSTREAM SUCCESS BUT DESPITE TWO AWESOME ALBUMS TO THEIR NAME THEY HAVE NEVER REALLY MANAGED TO CRACK THE BIG TIME (OWEVER THAT IS ALL ABOUT TO CHANGE WITH THE INTRODUCTION OF THE NEW SINGLE -EN S .EEDS !FTER YEARS OF BEING LABELLED AS THE NEXT BIG THING THEY HAVE lNALLY MANAGED TO ACCOMPLISH IT 4HE ESSENTIAL ELEMENTS OF WHAT MAKES A #RIBS SONG IS STILL THERE BUT NOW IT HAS BEEN POLISHED BY &RANZ FRONTMAN !LEX +APRANOS TO GREAT EFFECT WE MIGHT ADD )T OF COURSE REMAINS INSTANTLY RECOGNISABLE AS 4HE #RIBS BECAUSE OF 2YAN *ARMAN S
HARSH AND RASPING VOCALS THAT JUST SHRED YOUR BRAIN COUPLED WITH HIS TYPICAL COULDN T GIVE A HOOT 9ORKSHIRE ACCENT !DDED TO THIS THOUGH IS A SUPREME GUITAR RIFF THAT WILL GET STUCK IN YOUR HEAD EVEN IF YOU DON T WANT IT TO 4HE OLD BASIC AND RAW #RIBS IS STILL THERE COURTESY OF THE VOCALS BUT THE REST OF THE SONG HAS BEEN UPGRADED INTO SOME SORT OF SUPER #RIBS BEHEMOTH "RING ON THE ALBUM .ICK 2EADING
*OSH 0YKE -IDDLE /F 4HE (ILL !USTRALIAN SINGER SONGWRITER *OSH 0YKE BUOYANT FROM SIGNING TO )VY ,EAGUE RECORDS OFFERS US UP -IDDLE OF THE (ILL AS AN APPETISER FOR HIS NEW ALBUM &EEDING THE 7OLVES 3INCE CRETINS LIKE *AMES "LUNT $ANIEL 0OWTER AND MORE RECENTLY -IKA HAVE DECLARED THEMSELVES
/CCASIONALLY A SONG COMES ALONG AND YOU JUST KNOW THAT EVERYONE WILL LOVE IT 3EE LAST YEAR S #RAZY BY 'NARLS "ARKLEY FOR EXAMPLE )T WAS UBIQUITOUS AND LOVED BY YOUNG AND OLD CHAVS AND ROCK ERS LOWER AND MIDDLE CLASSES 4HIS IS ONE OF THOSE SONGS )T HAS A PRETTY SIMPLE DRUM BEAT AND A DECENT TUNE BEHIND IT 7HAT MAKES IT SUCH A GOOD SONG ARE THE LYRICS CONSISTING OF ONE MAN SPEAKING NAY PREACHING OVER THE BACKING TUNE A BIT LIKE "AZ ,UHRMANN S %VERYBODY S &REE
@SINGER SONGWRITERS THE TERM HAS COME TO BE TREATED WITH CAUTION 5NFORTUNATELY -IDDLE OF THE (ILL WILL PROBABLY APPEAL TO FANS OF THE AFOREMENTIONED @ARTISTS 3OUNDING LIKE *ACK *OHNSON IF HE PLAYED AT TWICE THE SPEED AND HAD AN @ATTITUDE *OSH 0YKE IS BLAND HIS LYRICS ARE UNINSPIRED AND THE MELODIES ARE LACKING IN HOOKS (IS VOICE IS APPEALING BUT LACKS ON THE EVIDENCE OF THIS SONG AT LEAST ANY REAL RANGE )T S NOT PARTICULARLY BAD BUT DO WE NEED YET ANOTHER AVERAGE SINGER SONGWRITER MUDDYING THE MUSICAL WATERS -IDDLE OF THE (ILL -IDDLE OF THE ROAD SOUNDS FAR MORE APPROPRIATE ,EWIS -ORTON
INDIE DANCE JUMP AROUND FESTS SO IT COULD PERHAPS HAVE BEEN LEFT FOR THE ALBUM RELEASE 7E RE NOT CONDEMNING THE SONG THOUGH IT STANDS AS ONE OF THEIR MOST COMPLETE WORKS SO FAR AND A TEASER OF WHAT MORE IS TO COME FROM THE ALBUM WHICH BECOMES MORE AND MORE PROMISING WITH THE RELEASE OF EVERY BIT OF NEW MATERIAL *OHN -UTCH
4HE -ACCABEES 0RECIOUS 4IME
!SH 9OU #AN (AVE )T !LL
0RECIOUS 4IME MARKS THE THIRD OFlCIAL SINGLE RELEASE FROM DEBUT ALBUM #OLOUR )T )N 3INGER /RLANDO 7EEKS PERMEATING VOICE IS PUT SLIGHTLY LESS THROUGH ITS PACES THAN IN &IRST ,OVE AND !BOUT 9OUR $RESS REPRESENTING A FOCUS MORE ON MELODY THAN INSTANT IMPACT AFTER ALL AS THE SONG SAYS NOT EVERY SONG HAS TO BE FRANTIC hLET S TAKE OUR PRECIOUS TIME ABOUT ITv 4HE CONSTANTLY SHIFTING RHYTHM MEANS 0RECIOUS 4IME IS DIFlCULT TO TAKE IN UPON A GLANCE COMPARED TO EARLIER TWO AND A HALF MINUTE
!SH HAVE BEEN THROUGH A TOUGH TIME OVER THE LAST FEW YEARS S NU METAL PASTICHE -ELTDOWN A HYBRID OF ALL THE BEST AND WORST PARTS OF S THANKFULLY SHORT LIVED FAD COMBINED WITH SOME DODGY ELEMENTS OF S HAIR METAL WAS GIVEN A LUKEWARM RECEPTION AT BEST AND THE DEPARTURE LAST YEAR OF SECOND GUITARIST #HARLOTTE (ATHERLEY HAS MEANT THE QUARTET HAVE NOW REVERTED BACK TO BEING A THREE PIECE SOMETHING NOT SEEN SINCE THE HALCYON DAYS OF THE BAND S BEST WORK 3O
4O 7EAR 3UNSCREEN 4HAT WAS A BIGGER HIT THAN IT EVER HAD THE RIGHT TO BE AND 4HOU 3HALT !LWAYS +ILL IS MUCH BETTER IN ALL ASPECTS 7HILST THE LYRICS ARE GENERALLY CLEVER THEY WILL UNDOUBTEDLY AN NOY PEOPLE AT THE SAME TIME 4HE LINE hTHOU SHALT NOT STOP LIKING A BAND JUST BECAUSE THEY VE BECOME POPULARv IS GREAT BECAUSE ANYONE LIKE THAT IS JUST TOO SCENE REALLY AND NOBODY LIKES THAT (OWEVER CALLING 4HE "EATLES AND 4HE "EACH "OYS JUST BANDS IS QUITE FRANKLY TAKING THE PISS AND LUMPING "LOC 0ARTY IN THE SAME CATEGORY AS THEM IS JUST PLAIN WRONG WHILE CHOOSING TO NAMECHECK /ASIS OVER "LUR IS JUST A CRIME 4HE BEAUTY OF THIS TRACK THOUGH IS THAT THE LISTENER CAN CHOOSE HOW SERIOUSLY THEY WANT TO TAKE IT 4HOSE WHO WANT TO TAKE IT AS A NOVELTY RECORD CAN BECAUSE THERE ARE SOME FUNNY LINES IN IT !T THE SAME TIME THOSE THAT WANT TO TAKE IT AS A POLITICAL STATEMENT CAN TOO 0LUS ANY SONG WITH THE LINES hTHOU SHALT NOT JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVERv AND hTHOU SHALT NOT JUDGE ,ETHAL 7EAPON BY $ANNY 'LOVERv CAN T BE ALL THAT BAD .ICK 2EADING
DOES THIS RETURN TO THE THREE LADS DYNAMIC MEAN THE GOOD OLD DAYS ARE BACK OR IS THE GAPING VOID LEFT BY (ATHERLEY FELT BY ALL &ORTUNATELY 9OU #AN T (AVE )T !LL IS A REMARKABLE COMEBACK MEANING THAT YOU CAN ALMOST FORGIVE THE BAND FOR FORAYS INTO POP LOUNGE MUSIC THE ABOMINABLE #ANDY AND METAL 7ITH 2ICK -C-URRAY S DRUMS POUNDING THEIR WAY THROUGH YOUR HEAD LIKE A PNEUMATIC DRILL -ARK (AMILTON S SOLID BASSLINES AND 4IM 7HEELER S ALWAYS RELIABLE LYRICS AND AMAZING GUITAR WORK HE SEEMS TO HAVE SPENT THE THREE YEAR HIATUS IMPROVING HIS ALREADY REMARKABLE GUITAR @SKILLZ THE TRIO ARE BACK WITH A PASSION )T MAY HAVE ONLY GOT TO IN THE CHARTS BUT IN A WORLD WHERE "EYONCÏ NESTLES IN POLE POSITION LIKE A lRM RUMPED lLLY DOES THAT REALLY MATTER *ULY AND THE RELEASE OF lFTH ALBUM 4WILIGHT OF THE )NNOCENTS WHICH HAS ALREADY GOT US SALIVATING AFTER SOME CRACKING NEW MATERIAL WAS SHOWCASED AT THE 7ATERFRONT LAST MONTH CAN T COME SOON ENOUGH #HRIS (YDE
THE EVENT
-USIC
3HARPER THAN YOUR AVERAGE +NIFE $EBUT ALBUM 6OICES OF !NIMALS AND -EN CEMENTED 4HE 9OUNG +NIVES AS EVERYONE S FAVOURITE TWEE @N SPECS COLLECTIVE 7ITH A SECOND ALBUM JUST AROUND THE CORNER 4HE 9OUNG +NIVES ARE FEELING WELL A BIT PISSED OFF AS #HRIS (YDE DISCOVERS
9
OU MAY ALREADY BE FAMILIAR WITH 4HE 9OUNG +NIVES 9OU MAY NOT BE )F YOU RE NOT THEN PUT THIS PAPER DOWN RIGHT NOW AND DO YOURSELVES A FAVOUR GO OUT AND BUY A COPY OF THEIR DEBUT ALBUM 6OICES OF !NIMALS AND -EN 9OU LL THANK US ONE DAY 7HILE IT RECEIVED A MODEST RE CEPTION IN THE INDIE COMMU NITY LAST YEAR AND SCRAPED INTO THE CHARTS AT A RESPECTABLE ITS MIX OF BOTH WONKY %NGLISH POP ROOTED IN A HERITAGE THAT HARKS BACK TO 4HE +INKS 84# AND "LUR AND ANGULAR ART ROCK Ì LA &RANZ &ERDINAND AND 4HE &U TUREHEADS PROVIDES AN IDEAL MU SICAL STEW OF ALL THE BEST ASPECTS OF THE LAST FORTY YEARS OF %NGLISH MUSIC "ROTHERS 4HOMAS AKA 4HE (OUSE OF ,ORDS AS hHE S BIG AND ALL DECISIONS HAVE TO BE APPROVED BY HIMv AND (ENRY $ARTNELL FORM THE BAND S VOCALS GUITARS AND BOUNCY BASSLINES AND AS DRUMMER /LIVER !SKEW SHOWERS AFTER A FRENETIC YET OUT STANDING GIG AT THE 7ATERFRONT 4HE %VENT TALKED TO THE BROTHERS ABOUT LIFE AS 9OUNG +NIVES 7HILE THE BAND BEGAN LIFE IN ,EICESTERSHIRE S !SHBY $E ,A :OUCH FAMOUS FOR !DRI AN -OLE AND NOT A LOT ELSE PLAYING hBAD FUNK AND .ED S !TOMIC $USTBIN COVERSv UNDER THE GUISE OF 3IMPLE 0ASTORAL %XISTENCE THE $ARTNELLS REAL ISED THAT THIS WASN T FOR THEM AND ONCE SCHOOL FRIEND /LIVER HAS BEEN RECRUITED 4HE 9OUNG +NIVES WERE FORMED h/UR MANI FESTO n OUR ETHOS OUR STATEMENT OF INTENT n IS TO BE INTERESTING AND GOOD 4HAT S ALL YOU NEED TO MAKE A BAND ISN T IT v ! DEFINATE ALTERATION TO THEIR DIRECTION IS SOMETHING THAT 4HE 9OUNG +NIVES HAVE DEMON STRATED CONSISTENTLY THROUGHOUT THEIR CAREER 7HILE MOST WILL KNOW THEM FROM 6OICES HAVE YOU BOUGHT YOUR COPY AS IN STRUCTED YET FEW HAVE HEARD THE MUCH MORE RAW AND ANGRY %0 4HE 9OUNG +NIVESx !RE $EAD WHICH LAID DOWN THE GROUNDING FOR SOME OF THE MORE SUBTLY AG GRESSIVE TRACKS ON 6OICES ALONG SIDE THE INDIE DANCEFLOOR FILLING
SINGLES 3HE S !TTRACTED 4O 4HE $ECISION AND (ERE #OMES 4HE 2U MOUR -ILL n ALL OF WHICH 4HOMAS SOMEWHAT BITTERLY POINTS OUT MAKES THEM A h4OP v BAND !NDY 'ILL OF 'ANG OF &OUR A STRONG INFLUENCE ON THE BAND HAS PRODUCED ALL THEIR MATERIAL SINCE WHAT IS IT LIKE TO WORK WITH A HERO OF THEIRS h)T WAS GREAT TO WORK WITH !NDY HE WAS A BIT LIKE A CREEPY OLD UNCLE AT TIMES BUT A REALLY NICE FEL LER v (ENRY COMMENTS h)T WAS STRANGE THAT HE LIKED THE QUIETER ONES ON THE ALBUM MORE THAN THE OTHERS CONSIDERING HE WAS THE MAIN OFFENDER BEHIND THE RISE OF S PROTO PUNK )S THAT EVEN A GENRE )NDUSTRIAL SOCIAL IST PUNK n ) THINK ) VE JUST IN VENTED A NEW GENRE h!FTER WE D KNOCKED OUT A LOAD OF ROCKY SONGS ONE DAY WE PICKED UP SOME ACOUSTIC GUITARS AND STARTED STRUMMING !NDY PIPED UP AND SAID @/H ) LIKE THAT IT SOUNDS LIKE &AIRPORT #ONVENTION &AIRPORT #ONVEN TION v (ENRY SPITS OUT h7HO THE HELL WANTS TO SOUND LIKE &AIRPORT BLOODY #ONVENTION 4HE GENTLER ONES ARE SOMETIMES THE ONES THAT BECOME MORE VISCERAL AND PUMPING ONSTAGE ANYWAY SO THEY RE MAYBE MY FAVOURITES TOOv 7HILE THEIR EAR LIER INCARNATION MAY HAVE BEEN BELLIGERENT DUE TO hRECORDING IT IN A LOCAL SCHOOL HALL FOR TWO QUID WHEN WE THOUGHT YOU HAD TO SCREAM TO BE ANGRYv DOES THIS MEAN ANOTHER MUSICAL SHIFT FOR THE NEXT ALBUM h7E RE GO ING TO PROGRESS AND EVOLVE AND SEE WHAT COMES OUT OF IT 7E LL HAVE TO SEE IF WE SUFFER 3ECOND
THE EVENT
!LBUM 3YNDROME v !H ! SORE POINT FOR THE GROUP IN A RECENT .-% INTER VIEW (ENRY CLAIMED THAT THEIR NEXT PLAN WAS TO @BRING OUT A SECOND ALBUM OF SHIT SONGS LIKE EVERY OTHER BAND 7AS THIS AIMED AT ANYONE IN PARTICULAR OR JUST A WAY OF ARTICULATING YOUR FEARS WE ASK THE $ARTNALLS h-OST BANDS DO IT "LOC 0ARTY HAVE 4HE 2AKES HAVE 4HE WORST THING ABOUT IT IS WHEN BANDS BRING OUT SECOND ALBUMS THAT ARE GOOD BUT GET A SLATING ANY WAY 4HE &UTUREHEADS SECOND ALBUM IS A GROWER EVERYONE HATED IT WHEN IT CAME OUT BUT THEY SHOULD REVIEW IT NOW AND SEE WHAT THEY MAKE OF IT v 7HEN WE DEFEND THE +AISER #HIEFS NEW ALBUM 4HOMAS ASKS US IF WE LIKED THE FIRST !FTER WE VE HEMENTLY REPLY WITH @YES WE RE GREETED WITH A WITHERING SMILE AND CONDESCENDING GLANCE THAT PUTS US IN OUR PLACE AND LEAVES US IN NO DOUBT AS TO WHERE THE 9OUNG +NIVES STAND ON 9ORK SHIRE S FINEST )T SEEMS THAT "LOC 0ARTY AND 4HE 2AKES ARE NOT THE ONLY BANDS THAT 4HE 9OUNG +NIVES AREN T IMPRESSED WITH 7AV ING A HAND OVER THE PLASTIC CUP AND LITTER STREWN FLOOR 4HOMAS SAYS hTHAT S ROCK AND ROLL 9OU WOULDN T GET ANYTHING LIKE THAT AT A #OLDPLAY GIG AT AN ARENA v (E SNEERS THE WORD AS IF IT LEAVES A BAD TASTE IN HIS MOUTH h7E VE PLAYED CAPACITY ARENAS NOW SUPPORTING 3NOW 0ATROL )T WAS ONE OF THE MOST SOULLESS AND DEPRESSING THINGS EVER SEEING A LOAD OF MIDDLE AGED FEMALE AC COUNTANTS HOLDING THEIR LIGHT
h/UR STATEMENT OF INTENT IS TO BE INTERESTING AND GOOD 4HAT S ALL YOU NEED TO MAKE A BAND ISN T IT v
ERS UP TO SOME TAT LIKE 2UN 4HE SINGER ;'ARY ,IGHTBODY= IS A REALLY NICE GUY TOO WHICH MAKES IT HARD TO DISLIKE THEM )TS COFFEE TABLE MUSIC BUT IT WAS NICE OF THEM TO ASK US SO WE CAN T REALLY COM PLAINv 4HEY DO RESERVE RESPECT HOWEVER FOR 3UPER &URRY !NIMALS APPROACH TO MUSIC (ENRY PRAISES THEM FOR hSTARTING OFF WEIRD AND STAYING THAT WAY 4HEY VE COURTED THE PRESS ENOUGH TIMES SINCE THE FIRST ALBUM ; S &UZZY ,OGIC= AND NOW JUST GO OUT DO THEIR OWN THING AND THEY HAVE A SOLID FAN BASE THAT LOVES THEM FOR IT NO MATTER WHAT STYLE OF MUSIC IT IS v (ENRY ALSO NAMECHECKS 4HE 2UM BLE 3TRIPS FOR ATTENTION ALTHOUGH MOST PEOPLE HE S MET IN BANDS ARE hCRAPv !S (ENRY COMMENTS HOW COOL 4HE 2UMBLE 3TRIPS ARE 4HOMAS MENTIONS HOW HE WAS NOMINATED TH #OOLEST 0ERSON IN 2OCK BY .-% LAST YEAR hBE CAUSE ) HAVE A STUPID NAMEv 4HIS LEADS TO AN EMBITTERED RANT ABOUT .-% S PHILOSOPHY WITH 4HOMAS DECLARING THE MAGAZINE hA STUPID !RCTIC -ONKEYS FANZINEv (ENRY KEEPING A COOL HEAD DURING HIS BROTHER S PASSIONATE RANT CALMLY POINTS OUT THAT hTHE ALBUM REVIEW WAS BLINDING REALLY POSITIVE BUT THEN THEY GAVE US OUT OF ) JUST DON T UNDERSTAND THE LOGICv 3ENSING THAT WE VE TOUCHED A NERVE WE CHANGE THE CONVERSATION SWIFTLY AFTER 4HOMAS FINISHES RIP PING IT OUT OF 4HE 4WANG .-% S PROCLAIMED 4HIS 9EAR S /ASIS FOL LOWING IN THE LOUTISH LAD ROCK TRADITION OF +ASABIAN AND 4HE 6IEW !S SEEN THROUGHOUT EVERY ASPECT OF THEM AS A BAND 4HE 9OUNG +NIVES TAKE THE WORD @QUIRKY DIP IT IN A POT OF FRESH @ZANY AND SERVE IT WITH A FRESH SIDE OF @ODDBALL ON A BED OF @WHIM SICAL THEIR BICKERING AMONGST THEMSELVES OVER WHETHER (OLI DAY )NN OR 4RAVELODGE IS BETTER hYOU CAN T DO A NUMBER TWO IN A (OLIDAY )NN OR YOU GET FINEDv IS TESTAMENT TO THAT 4HEY RE A BAND GOING WHERE OTHERS FEAR TO TREAD AND WITH A SLEW OF FESTIVAL AP PEARANCES PENNED IN FOR OVER THE SUMMER AND 3ECOND !LBUM 4HAT 7ON T "E 3HIT (ONEST DUE OUT IN THE AUTUMN WE RE ALREADY WA TERING AT THE MOUTH FOR ANOTHER HELPING OF THEIR OUTLANDISH ROCK
-USIC
,IVE 3UMMER ,IVE 0REVIEW *UST BECAUSE ITgS THE lNAL ISSUE OF 4HE %VENT DOESNgT MEAN THAT MUSIC ENDS FOR THE SUMMER #ONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF MUSIC ACTUALLY CONTINUES THROUGH THE SUMMER PEOPLE CONTINUE GOING TO GIGS AND LISTENING TO #$S -ENTAL ISNgT IT 3O AS A LITTLE END OF TERM TREAT 4HE %VENT HAS COMPILED A LITTLE PREVIEW OF THE BANDS GRACING .ORWICH AND THE SURROUNDING AREA OVER THE SUMMER (ELL YES -ANIC 3TREET 0REACHERS 5%! )F LIKE US YOUgRE COUNTING DOWN THE DAYS UNTIL OF 7ALESgS lNEST HIT THE 5%! IN -AY WELL THEREgS NOT LONG NOW 7ITH NEW SINGLE 9OUR ,OVE !LONE )S .OT %NOUGH GARNERING PRAISE LEFT RIGHT AND CENTRE ITgS AS IF THE -ANICS HAVE BEEN REBORN ONCE AGAIN 7ITH THE PROSPECT OF STONE COLD CLASSICS
%VERYTHING -UST 'O $ESIGN &OR ,IFE AND -OTORCYCLE %MPTINESS GRACING A NO DOUBT HIT HEAVY SET ITgS ENOUGH TO GET ANYONE HELLISHLY SALIVATING 1UITE FRANKLY WE CANgT WAIT 4HE -ACCABEES AND *ACK 0E×ATE 7ATERFRONT 4HE 7ATERFRONT IS THE ONLY PLACE YOU NEED TO BE THIS 7EDNESDAY AS TWO YES THATgS RIGHT DEUX OF THE HOTTEST NEW ACTS IN THE COUNTRY HIT .ORWICH 7ITH 0E×ATE mYING OFF THE SUCCESS OF HIS LATEST % 0 3PIT !T 3TARS EXPECT GANGLY AND UNTOUCHABLE DANCE MOVES COURTESY OF A MAN WITH QUITE POSSIBLY THE COOLEST SHOES IN THE COUNTRY RIGHT NOW #OUPLED WITH 4HE -ACCABEES BUSY PREACHING THEIR LATEST MASTERPIECE #OLOUR )T )N THERE SHOULDNgT BE ANYWHERE ELSE YOUgD RATHER BE
,ATITUDE 3OUTHWOLD 3UFFOLK 4ECHNICALLY ITgS NOT IN .ORFOLK BUT HEY ITgS THE NEAREST PROPER FESTIVAL YOUgVE GOT .OT THAT THATgS A BAD THING "RITPOP FAVES *ARVIS #OCKER AND $AMON !LBARN VIA THE MEDIUM OF NEW BAND 4HE 'OOD 4HE "AD AND 4HE 1UEEN WILL BE STRUTTING THEIR STUFF ALONGSIDE THE LIKES OF !RCADE &IRE AND #33 WHILE COMEDIANS LIKE 3TEWART ,EE WILL BE ENTERTAINING THE MASSES ON THE SUNNY 3UFFOLK COAST $AMIEN 2ICE AND !LAN #ARR ARE PLAYING AS WELL BUT DONgT HOLD IT AGAINST EITHER THEM OR THE ORGANISERS ITgS NOT THEIR FAULT THAT THEYgRE ABOUT AS EXCITING AS A LETTUCE SANDWICH )T REALLY IS A MUST AND AS ITgS SO CLOSE AND NON COMMERCIAL COMPARED TO THE LIKES OF 6 AND #ARLING 7EEKEND IT GETS A DElNITE THUMBS UP FROM US AT 4HE %VENT
) 7AS ! #UB 3COUT AND $ARTZ !RTS #ENTRE ) 7AS ! #UB 3COUT ARE CAUSING A BIT OF A STIR IN THE MUSIC PRESS AT THE MOMENT WITH THEIR BRAND OF ELECTRO INDIE SYNTH EMO DISCO PUNK ALRIGHT SMARTARSE YOU TRY CATEGORISING THEM AND RIGHTFULLY SO THEYgRE NOTHING SHORT OF MAGNIlCENT 0LUS THEYgRE THE BEST THING TO COME OUT OF ,INCOLNSHIRE SINCE SAUSAGES WHY HAS NOTHING GOOD EVER COME OUT OF THE 5+gS SECOND LARGEST COUNTY )F THAT WASNgT ENOUGH SUPPORT BAND $ARTZ ARE QUITE FRANKLY THE BEST THING THIS REVIEWER HAS EVER SEEN LIVE AND HEgS GIRDING HIS LOINS IN ANTICIPATION OF SEEING THEIR ANGULAR ALT ROCK AGAIN 4HERE YOU GO 4AKE THIS ADVICE AND GO AND HAVE A RUDDY GOOD SUMMER YOU lLTHY STUDENTS #HRIS (YDE AND 'REG 3ULLIVAN
*AMIE 4
-UMM 2A
3UNDAY ND !PRIL 5%!
4UESDAY TH !PRIL !RTS #ENTRE
5NLESS YOU HAVE BEEN LIVING IN A GALAXY FAR FAR AWAY YOU PROBABLY WILL BE AWARE THAT *AMIE 4 HAS MADE QUITE A NAME FOR HIMSELF /VER THE PAST FEW MONTHS HIS PROlLE AND POPULARITY HAS ROCKETED AND SO IT COMES AS NO SURPRISE THAT THIS WAS NOT HIS lRST VISIT TO .ORWICH THIS YEAR HAVING RECENTLY PERFORMED AT THE 7ATERFRONT 4HIS TIME ROUND *AMIE WAS ACCOMPANIED BY THE RELATIVELY UNHEARD
OF BAND .EW 9ORK (OWL (AVING MET *AMIE RANDOMLY IN A .EW 9ORK BAR THE DECISION THAT WAS MADE ON A WHIM FOR THEM TO SUPPORT WAS CERTAINLY A GOOD CHOICE )N A REFRESHING BLAST OF SAXOPHONES AND @INTERESTING YET ENCHANTING LYRICS .EW 9ORK (OWL PROVIDED A SURPRISING CONTRAST TO THE SOUND OF *AMIE 4 4HEIR DIFFERENCES HOWEVER COMPLIMENTED BOTH ACTS SUCCESSFULLY AND ESTABLISHED A GOOD VIBE GETTING THE CROWD GOING AND DElNITELY SETTING THE STAGE FOR THE MAIN MAN HIMSELF 4AKING INTO ACCOUNT *AMIE S UNIQUE AND DISTINCTIVE STYLE IT WAS INEVITABLE THAT SOME OF HIS SONGS WOULD BE A BIT REPETITIVE AND ADMITTEDLY IT DRAGGED A LITTLE IN PLACES (OWEVER IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO DENY THAT *AMIE 4 CERTAINLY DOES KNOW HOW TO PLEASE HIS FANS AND HIS COCKNEY CHARM ADDS A CERTAIN SOMETHING TO HIS ENTERTAINING STAGE PRESENCE !LTHOUGH PERHAPS NOT EVERYONE S CUP OF *AMIE TEA HE UNDOUBTEDLY PROVIDED A SOLID EVENING OF ENTERTAINMENT ESPECIALLY FOR THOSE HARDCORE FANS OF HIS WHO SANG ALONG AND DANCED THEIR WAY THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE GIG 4HEREFORE IN A NUTSHELL FOR THOSE WHO APPRECIATE THE QUAINT AND QUIRKY STYLE OF *AMIE 4 IT WAS A GIG THAT WAS DElNITELY WORTH THE MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY ,ORRAINE 3OUTHGATE AND 4IFFANY 7OOSLEY
! -UMM 2A TOUR ORIGINALLY BOASTING AN IMPRESSIVE FOUR BANDS WAS HALVED FOR THE .ORWICH LEG WITH 2IPCHORD PULLING OUT OF THE lRST lVE DATES AND .ORWICH S VERY OWN 0ISTOLAS MISSING OUT ON THEIR HOME COMING DUE TO THEIR VAN BREAKING DOWN 4ONIGHT WAS SET TO BE AN ANTI CLIMAX BUT FORTUNATELY THAT WASN T THE CASE 9OUNG 0LAN (ASTINGS INDIE POPSTERS COME ON STAGE TO A SURPRISINGLY LARGE CROWD FOR A SUPPORT AND FULLY JUSTIlED THE CURRENT ! 2 BUZZ AROUND THEM 4HEIR TIGHT &UTUREHEADS ESQUE ART POP AND FRONTMAN 'ARETH $OHERTY S )AN #URTIS ESQUE VOCALS DELIGHTED AND CHARMED THE CROWD IN EQUAL MEASURES 'UITARIST $ALE 7EEKS DAZZLED THE CROWD DURING NEW SIN GLE &ISTlGHT AND IT S HARD TO BELIEVE THAT THIS BAND IS UN SIGNED %XPECT THEM TO BE APPEARING IN .-% SOON 3UCH WAS THE STRENGTH OF THE SUPPORT THAT -UMM 2A WERE ALWAYS GOING TO HAVE TO RAISE THEIR GAME TO NOT BE OVERSHAD OWED $URING THEIR SET WHICH INCLUDED ALMOST THEIR ENTIRE FORTHCOMING ALBUM SINGER .OO SHOWED THAT HE HAS GROWN IN STATURE AS A FRONT MAN OVER THE LAST YEAR AND ROSE CONSIDERABLY TO THE BARRAGE OF PRESS COVERAGE THE BAND HAVE BEEN RECEIV ING OF LATE 9ET AT TIMES HE CAME OVER AS A LITTLE ARROGANT (E PLAYED SOLO ON THE
ACOUSTIC HE ENCOURAGED THE ANNOYING YEAR OLDS AT THE FRONT WHO UNFATHOM ABLY MOSHED TO SONGS SUCH AS 3HE S 'OT 9OU (IGH THEN LOOKED PEEVED WHEN THEY RUSHED THE STAGE 4HE WHOLE EXPERIENCE DISTRACTED FROM WHAT WAS AN INCREASINGLY MATURE AND WELL CONCEIVED SET 9ET SOMEHOW THE BAND FAILED TO ADHERE THEMSELVES TO THE AUDIENCE THEY SEEMED DISTANT LIKE THEY RE NOW COAST ING THROUGH THE SET 4HEIR QUIRKY POP WAS DELIVERED WELL BUT DIDN T CARRY THE SAME PASSION AS WE ARE TREATED TO WITH 9OUNG 0LAN ,EWIS -ORTON
THE EVENT
&ILM
-AIN &EATURE 4HE ,IVES OF /THERS $IR &LORIAN (ENCKEL VON $ONNERSMARCK
2ELEASE $ATE
4HE ,IVES OF /THERS 3ET IN BEFORE THE FALL OF THE "ERLIN 7ALL 4HE ,IVES OF /THERS TAKES US TO %AST 'ERMANY ALSO KNOWN AS THE 'ERMAN $EMOCRATIC 2EPUBLIC WHERE THE POPULATION IS KEPT UN DER STRICT CONTROL BY THE 3TASI n THE 3ECRET 0OLICE WHO AT ITS PEAK MON ITORED OVER A THIRD OF THE 'ERMAN POPULATION 4HEIR DECLARED GOAL @4O KNOW EVERYTHING
3TASI AGENT #APTAIN 'ERD 7I ESLER 5LRICH -àHE A KEENLY IDE ALISTIC SUPPORTER OF THE #OMMUNIST REGIME IS ASSIGNED TO SPY ON PLAY WRIGHT 'EORG $REYMAN 3EBASTIAN +OCH AND HIS ACTRESS GIRLFRIEND #HRISTA -ARIA 3IELAND -ARTINA 'EDECK WHO ARE SUSPECTED OF BE ING DISLOYAL TO THE 3TATE 7IESLER IS @ENCOURAGED TO lND SOMETHING
#INEFILE 7HAT S THE PLOT !FTER LOSING lNANCIAL BACKING FOR HIS RESEARCH ON A SUPER FERTIL ITY DRUG FOR WOMEN WITH FELLOW SCIENTIST ,ARRY !RBOGAST $ANNY $E 6ITO !LEX (ESSE !RNOLD 3CHWARZENEGGER AGREES TO BE THE GUINEA PIG FOR FURTHER TESTING AND BECOMES PREGNANT )S THAT IT 4O ADD TO THIS (ESSE IS ALSO IN LOVE WITH THE REAL MOTHER OF THE CHILD HE IS CARRYING A SCIENTIST CALLED $I ANA 2EDDING %MMA 4HOMPSON WHOSE FROZEN EGG IS STOLEN BY THE SCIENTISTS )SN T THAT A BIT FAR FETCHED 4HIS IS AFTER 4WINS A lLM IN WHICH !RNIE IS THE BIOLOGICAL TWIN OF THE FT $E 6ITO 7HEN 3CHWARZENEG GER IS IN THE FOLD ANYTHING GOES
AMISS BY HIS BOSS WHO IN TURN IS BEING PRESSURED BY A GOVERNMENT MINISTER "UT 7IESLER S LOYALTY IS TESTED AS HE BEGINS TO OBSERVE THE ARTISTS LIVES AND DISCOVERS THE REAL REASON FOR HIS MISSION 4HE ,IVES OF /THERS IS A FRIGHTEN ING PORTRAIT OF LIFE UNDER A TOTALITAR IAN REGIME WHERE IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE TO OBJECT TO THE GOVERNMENT AND
WHERE FREEDOM OF SPEECH DIDN T EX IST &OR VIEWERS WHO KNOW LITTLE OF 'ERMAN HISTORY THE lLM SERVES AS AN HONEST AND CONVINCING WINDOW INTO THE PAST AND THOUGH IT FOCUSES ON THE LIVES OF A FEW THE CORRUPTION AND MENACE OF THE GOVERNMENT FOREVER LURKS IN THE BACKGROUND UNDERPINNING THE ENTIRE PLOT 7IESLER HOLDS THE POWER OVER
'EORG AND #HRISTA AND IT IS THIS DY NAMIC THAT DIRECTOR &LORIAN (ENCK EL VON $ONNERSMARCK EXPLOITS MAINTAINING THE HEAVING TENSIONS THROUGHOUT KEEPING THE lLM COM PELLING AS A POLITICAL THRILLER "UT IT IS HIS SLOW UNRAVELLING OF THE CHAR ACTERS THAT CAPTIVATES AND ENGROSSES THE AUDIENCE 5LRICH -àHE PERFECT LY BALANCES THE LINE BETWEEN FEAR AND SYMPATHY AS HE MOVES FROM THE FAITHFUL #APTAIN TO DISILLUSION MENT AND lNALLY TO A MAN SO SOF TENED BY THE PLIGHT OF THE COUPLE THAT HE RISKS HIS OWN LIFE 4O AVOID THIS lLM MERELY FOR ITS SUBTITLES WOULD BE A GRAVE MISTAKE AS IT IS ONE OF THE MOST PROFOUNDLY MOVING AND INTELLIGENT lLMS THIS YEAR 4HE LOSS OF THE 'ERMAN LAN GUAGE WITH DUBBING WOULD SIMPLY LOOSE THE REALISM THAT 4HE ,IVES OF /THERS IS SUBMERGED IN 6ON $ON NERSMARCK SUCCEEDS IN CREATING A CHILLING BUT PERSONAL WORLD THAT WILL FASCINATE MAKING YOU FALL FOR THE CHARACTERS AND EVENTUALLY CHAMPIONING THEIR lGHT AGAINST THE '$2 4HE ,IVES OF /THERS IS A BRILLIANT THOUGHT PROVOKING lLM THAT IS NOT TO BE MISSED .ATASHA +UNDAIKER
*UNIOR
3O WHY WOULD ) WANT TO SEE A PREGNANT !RNIE 7ITNESS THE INDESTRUCTIBLE lGURE FROM 4ERMINATOR TELL HIS FRIEND THAT HIS NIPPLES FEEL SENSITIVE AND HIS SKIN IS SMOOTH 3EE THE MAN WHO CAN BOUNCE BULLETS OFF HIS CHEST THROW A TANTRUM AND SCREAM h) WANT MY BABY v )TS AN INCRED IBLE REVERSAL OF ROLES YET HE STILL SOMEHOW SOUNDS LIKE THE 4ERMI NATORx .OT THE PERFECT TRANSITION FROM MACHO ACTION HERO TO BRAINY SCIENTIST THEN )T S HARDLY (OLLYWOOD S BEST KEPT SECRET THAT 3CHWARZENEGGER ISN T THE MOST MALLEABLE OF ACTORS /RIG INALLY CAST INTO A MOVIE BECAUSE OF HIS IMMENSE STATURE ALONE AND CREDITED UNDER THE NAME OF !R NOLD 3TRONG HE HASN T EXACTLY HAD THE "ROADWAY ASCENT TO MOVIE STARDOM "UT HE S GIVEN IT A GO AND
THE EVENT
*UNIOR PRODUCED SOMETHING THAT DESPITE THE QUESTIONABLE ACTING STILL DELIV ERS THE LAUGHS "UT IS IT THE ACTOR OR HIS ACTING THAT GENERATES THE LAUGHS
"IT OF BOTH REALLY 3OME SCENES ARE GENUINELY FUNNY USUALLY WITH (ESSE FALLING VICTIM TO THE CONSE QUENCES OF PREGNANCY THE CRAV INGS IMPULSES AND EMOTIONAL IN STABILITY "UT TRADITIONAL COMEDIC
IDEAS SUCH AS A MAN DRESSED AS A WOMAN ARE MADE ALL THE MORE FUNNY WHEN !RNIE IS THROWN INTO THE MIX *OHN -UTCH
&ILM
/THER 3CREENS
3HOOTER
3HOOTER $IR !NTOINE &UQUA 2ELEASED -ARK 7AHLBERG IS LOOKING A LITTLE GRIZZLY AND ROUGH ROUND THE EDGES THESE DAYS AND WHY DOES HE ALWAYS CARRY THAT GUN 3HOOTER IS BASED ON THE 3TEPHEN (UNTER NOVEL 0OINT OF )MPACT TRANSLATED ONTO SCREEN WITH VARYING DEGREES OF SUCCESS 7AHLBERG
PLAYS THE INTERESTINGLY NAMED EX -ARINES SNIPER "OB ,EE 3WAGGER YES 3WAGGER WHO IS TEMPTED OUT OF RETIREMENT BY ONE LAST @PATRIOTIC MISSION "ELIEVING HE IS GOING TO PREVENT A 0RESIDENTIAL ASSASSINATION HE IS FRAMED AS THE PRIME SUSPECT (UNGRY FOR JUSTICE 3WAGGER DECIDES TO REVEAL THE TRUE IDENTITIES OF THOSE WHO SET HIM UP AND THEIR MOTIVES 0URSUED BY MYSTERIOUS GOVERNMENT FORCES AND THE &") -ICHAEL 0E×A S ROOKIE AGENT .ICK -EMPHIS IS THE
ONLY ONE OF THE LATTER TO BELIEVE HIS STORY 4OGETHER THEY UNRAVEL A PLOT OF CORRUPTION AND GREED WHICH CLEVERLY THOUGH OBVIOUSLY DIGS AT 4EAM "USH h4HERE AIN T NO 3UNNIS AND 3HIA NO $EMOCRATS OR 2EPUBLICANS 4HERE S JUST HAVES AND HAVE NOTSv DRAWLS .ED "EATTY AS 3ENATOR #HARLES & -EACHUM (E AND $ANNY 'LOVER A RETIRED COLONEL ARE APTLY CAST AS DISHONEST ALLIES LEADING THE ANTI 3WAGGER TROOPS 3O TO SPEAK +ATE -ARA IS SO SO AS 7AHLBERG S LOVE INTEREST BUT FORTUNATELY THERE IS LITTLE ROMANCE TO DETRACT FROM A PICTURE THAT IS BOTH THRILLING AND ACTION PACKED 7ITH SEVERAL CAR AND HELICOPTER PURSUITS AS WELL AS STUNNING MOUNTAIN SCENES 3HOOTER IS VISUALLY IMPRESSIVE THROUGHOUT 3OME OF THE PLOT S ABSURDITIES CAN BE FORGIVEN AS OVERALL IT IS ENGAGING AND 7AHLBERG CONVINCING 6IMBAI -UKWENHA
7ILD (OGS $IR 7ALT "ECKER 2ELEASED &ILMS REVOLVING AROUND JOURNEYS ARE MORE THAN COMMON &ROM THE LIKES OF ,ORD OF THE 2INGS TO 2OAD 4RIP IT S A FAMILIAR MOULD SO ANY NEW lLM OF THIS ILK NEEDS TO PULL OFF SOMETHING SPECIAL IN ORDER TO STAND OUT 7ITH 7ILD (OGS IT IS NOT TO BE /N PAPER THINGS LOOK STURDY FOUR MIDDLE AGED MEN PLAYED BY FOUR POPULAR ACTORS DECIDE TO GO ON A ROAD TRIP TO REGAIN THEIR LOST YOUTH 3O FAR SO GOOD BUT IT S LET DOWN BY PAINFULLY SOPORIlC EXECUTION 4HERE ARE GOOD THINGS TO BE HAD 7ILLIAM ( -ACY IS ABSOLUTELY SU PERB SOME PARTS RAISE A TINY LAUGH AND THE CAST GEL WELL AND LOOK LIKE THEY RE HAVING A TERRIlC TIME BUT IT S NOT ENOUGH &OR THE MOST PART THE
7ILD (OGS JOKES ARE WINCINGLY PREDICTABLE AND THE STORY COMPLETELY LACKS SURPRISE TAKING PREDICTABILITY TO WHOLE NEW LEVELS 4HROW INTO THIS MIX *OHN 4RAVOLTA IN WHAT MUST SURELY BE THE WORST PIECE OF MISCASTING SINCE "OB (OSKINS DONNED 3UPER -ARIO S BREECHES OUTDATED BORDERLINE IN SULTING AND UNCOMFORTABLE HOMO SEXUAL JOKES AND A NAUSEATING STORY REVOLVING AROUND A NASTY GANG OF BIKERS WHO GET THEIR COMEUPPANCE AND YOU HAVE 7ILD (OGS
&RACTURE
&RACTURE $IR 'REGORY (OBLIT 2ELEASED ! MAN SHOOTS HIS WIFE IN THE FACE BUT THERE S NO WAY TO CONVICT HIM OR IS THERE 4HE CYNICISM ISN T PERHAPS APPARENT IN THOSE LAST THREE WORDS BUT BELIEVE ME IT S THERE *UST WHAT EXACTLY WAS THE STUDIO S MOTIVATION
WHEN THEY MADE &RACTURE )T S SO MEDIOCRE AND FORGETTABLE IT WAS GENUINELY HARD TO REMEMBER IT FOR THIS REVIEW 7HAT EXACTLY WENT ON IN PRE PRODUCTION 0ROBABLY SOMETHING LIKE THIS h$O YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE A LAUGH 7HAT IF WE MADE A REALLY CLICHÏD HACKNEYED CRIME THRILLER AND THEN SOLD IT TO THE PUBLIC AS IF IT S SOMETHING
0ERHAPS THE lLM S BIGGEST FAILING THOUGH IS THAT IT TAKES FOUR TALENTED LEAD ACTORS WELL THREE AND -AR TIN ,AWRENCE LET S NOT GET CARRIED AWAYx AND DUNKS THEM IN ME DIOCRITY 4HERE ARE WORSE lLMS OUT THERE BUT BEYOND A CURSORY GLANCE 7ILD (OGS DESERVES LITTLE ATTENTION )F A SEQUEL GETS MADE AS RUMOUR PERSISTS THEN IT S GOING TO HAVE TO IMPROVE UPON THIS TENFOLD TO WAR RANT THE PRICE OF A CINEMA TICKET .ICK -ELLISH NEW AND mASHY v .ODS ALL ROUND THEN h(EY (OW ABOUT INSTEAD OF BOTHERING WITH THE TIRESOME PROCESS OF CREATING NEW CHARACTERS WE JUST STEAL (ANNIBAL ,ECTER AND THEN GIVE HIM AN EGOTISTICAL HOT SHOT LAWYER AS A FOIL v -ORE lRM NODS OF AFlRMATION SOMEONE PRE EMPTIVELY PAGES 4ANYA FOR A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE THEN h4HAT S GREAT #HAD BUT ) DON T THINK THAT WOULD WORK v #UE CONFUSED FROWNS THEN hIT WOULD ONLY BE WORTH IT IF WE DRAGGED THE lLM OUT FOR ALMOST TWO HOURS v ! MORE IMPRESSIONABLE COLLEAGUE CLAPS h"RILLIANT 4ODD ) LL GET ON THE PHONE TO (OPKINS AND WE LL START lLMING TOMORROW v /K MAYBE THIS DOWNPLAYS &RACTURE S GOOD POINTS LIKE THE REPARTEE BETWEEN 'OSLING AND (OPKINS WHICH IS ENTERTAINING )T S JUST THAT IT COULD VE BEEN MUCH BETTER "RENDAN !PPLETON
!LPHA $OG
!LPHA $OG $IR .ICK #ASSAVETES 2ELEASED )T S RESOLUTELY RUBBISH SHOCKINGLY SHIT ABSOLUTELY AWFUL TERRIBLY TURGID INTERMINABLY INTOLERABLE BLATANTLY BAD DAMNINGLY DRIVEL DEPRESSINGLY DROSS CONSTANTLY CRAP )T S BAD POOR STINKING ABOMINABLE ATROCIOUS LOUSY DREADFUL GOD AWFUL VILE RANCID PAINFUL SCUM 4HE 6ICTORIANS WOULD CALL IT BALDERDASH HOOEY BUNKUM TOMMYROT POPPYCOCK HOGWASH CLAPTRAP AND UNDESIRABLE !MERICANS WOULD CALL IT BALONEY TRASH AND NONSENSICAL DRIVEL )T S AS BAD AS WAKING UP ONE MORNING TO DISCOVER THAT YOU VE TURNED INTO *UDY &INNIGAN AND THAT 2ICHARD -ADELEY IS ON TOP OF YOU BREATHING HEAVILY INTO YOUR EAR AS HE MUSTERS UP A TURGID ERECTION TO SPARK UP A SEX LIFE THAT WAS SNUFFED OUT WHEN &LOCK OF 3EAGULLS DISBANDED )T S WORSE THAN WAKING
UP WITH A HANGOVER BIGGER THAN 0ETE $OHERTY S SMACK PILE DISCOVERING YOU VE VOMITED COPIOUSLY IN YOUR SLEEP AND ON PRISING ONESELF FROM YOUR SICK ENCRUSTED BEDCLOTHES DISCOVERING THAT YOU HAVE AN EXAM IN TEN MINUTES THAT YOU VE DONE NO REVISING FOR )T S EXTENSIVELY WORSE THAN BEING SENT TO PRISON FOR A CRIME THAT YOU DIDN T COMMIT AND DROPPING THE SOAP IN THE SHOWER WHILE "UTCH LEERS AT YOU MENACINGLY )T S AS BAD AS LEVERING OUT YOUR EYEBALLS WITH A RUSTY SPOON WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY INJECTING YOURSELF WITH EVERY DISEASE KNOWN TO MAN AND HAVING YOUR GENITALIA FONDLED BY 2ONNIE #ORBETT AS 0AUL $ANIELS lDDLES WITH HIS WAND BEHIND YOU AND #HEGGERS ATTACHES CROCODILE CLIPS TO YOUR NIPPLES !CTUALLY IT S WORSE THAN ALL OF THESE SCENARIOS HAPPENING AT THE SAME TIME )T S JUST FULL ON INTENSELY ACUTELY VIVIDLY RABIDLY FERVENTLY APPALLINGLY EXTRAORDINARILY "!$ #HRIS (YDE
4HE 2EAPING
4HE 2EAPING $IR 3TEPHEN (OPKINS 2ELEASED (ILARY 3WANK IT SEEMS IS SATISIFED THAT SHE HAS PROVED HER QUALITIES TO THE WORLD AS AN ACTRESS AND NOW JUST WANTS TO MAKE BUCKETS OF MONEY WITH MEDIOCRE TRIPE !T LEAST SHE STILL PERFORMS WELL IN 4HE 2EAPING WHICH IS MORE THAN CAN BE SAID FOR THE REST OF THE CAST ALTHOUGH !NNASOPHIA 2OBB DOES A GOOD IF UNORIGINAL @SCARY KID PERFORMANCE !S A SCIENTIST WHO SPECIALISES IN DEBUNKING WEIRD MYTHICAL PHENOMENA 3WANK TRAVELS TO (AVEN IN THE 3OUTHERN 53! CUE $UELING "ANJOS WHERE THE TEN BIBLICAL PLAGUES OF THE "IBLE SEEM TO BE RE ENACTED 0REDICTABLY IT TURNS OUT THE RELIGIOUS COMMUNITY ARE
RIGHT AND IT IS HEAVENLY WORK AND THE SCIENTIST LEARNS THE IMPORTANCE OF FAITH HUZZAH 5NFORTUNATELY IT S NOT REALLY THAT SCARY #') LOCUSTS ARE ALL WELL AND GOOD BUT WHEN THE STORY IS SO HACKNEYED YOU JUST DON T CARE 7ORSE THE lLM BECOMES FAR TOO MELODRAMATIC IN ITS ENDING SO YOU END UP HAVING TO IGNORE THE POTENTIALLY BIBLICAL EVENTS GOING ON AROUND THE CHARACTERS 9OU WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT A CONmICT BETWEEN 'OD AND 3ATAN WHICH AWESOME AND TERRIFYING POWERS WOULD BE PRETTY INTENSE )NSTEAD IT COMES OFF AS RATHER LAME AND PATHETIC (ILARY 3WANK DOES NOT COME AWAY BADLY FROM 4HE 2EAPING AND PERFORMS WELL "UT FRANKLY THIS KIND OF SCHLOCK HORROR IS FAR BENEATH HER !NDY *UDSON
THE EVENT
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$6$ &EATURE 0ERFUME 4HE 3TORY OF A -URDERER $IR 4OM 4YKWER 2ELEASED 0ATHE $ISTRIBUTION ,TD
0ERFUME 4HE 3TORY OF A -URDERER (OW DO YOU MAKE A lLM ABOUT SMELLS 7ELL 4OM 4YKWER HAS MANAGED IN WHAT IS SURELY ONE OF THE MOST ORIGINAL lLMS OF RECENT TIMES 7E FOLLOW *EAN "APTISTE 'RENOUILLE A STRANGE YOUTH BORN WITH AN ALMOST SUPERHUMAN SENSE OF SMELL ,ITERALLY SPAT OUT OF THE
WOMB HE STRUGGLES THROUGH AN AWFUL CHILDHOOD TO BECOME A MASTER PERFUMER BUT WITHOUT ANY MORAL SCRUPLES AS HE STRUGGLES TO CONSTRUCT THE MOST AMAZING PERFUME THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN 4HE INTERESTING PART IS THAT WE SYMPATHISE WITH THIS MAN DESPITE
HIS WILLINGNESS TO MURDER PEOPLE FOR THEIR @SMELL *EAN "APTISE IS AN INCREDIBLY INTERESTING CHARACTER MYSTERIOUS QUIET AND A mAWED GENIUS (E COMMITS HEINOUS ACTS BUT NOT OUT OF ANGER OR JEALOUSY BUT RATHER DEDICATION TO HIS ART AND HIS OBSESSION WITH BEAUTY
.EWCOMER "EN 7HISHAW GIVES A STUNNING PERFORMANCE lTTING THE ROLE EXCELLENTLY 2ACHEL (URD 7OOD IS ALSO EXCELLENT AS AN ENCHANTINGLY BEAUTIFUL GIRL WHO 'RENOUILLE OBSESSES OVER WHICH ENDS UP BEING A SURPRISINGLY MATURE ROLE FOR HER -EANWHILE $USTIN (OFFMAN AND !LAN 2ICKMAN ARE GIVEN SURPRISINGLY SMALL ROLES BUT OFFER THE PERFORMANCES YOU D EXPECT FROM ACTORS WITH THEIR REPUTATION 4HE RICH CAST OF SUPPORTING CHARACTERS HAVE ODDLY LITTLE CONNECTION TO 'RENOUILLE HIMSELF THOUGH AND IT IS QUITE BIZARRE TO SEE THEM THROUGH HIS QUIET AND CURIOUS EYES 4HE MOST AMAZING PART OF THE lLM COMES FROM THE WAY IT MANAGES TO CONVEY A SENSE OF SMELL 4HE BOOK WHICH 0ERFUME IS BASED ON WAS SAID TO BE UNlLMABLE BECAUSE OF THE DESCRIPTIUONS OF SCENT BUT STILL MANAGES IT SOMEHOW ,INGERING CLOSE UPS OF VARIOUS SCENTED ITEMS WITH THEIR COLOURS
ENHANCED TO SEEM MORE THAN REAL SOMEHOW MANAGE TO EVOKE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL OR DISGUSTING SMELLS AS NEEDED 5NFORTUNATELY THE ENDING BECOMES A BIT TOO CONVOLUTED AND WEIRD )T ACTUALLY PLAYS OUT LIKE AN ADVERT FOR ,YNX 4HAT S NOT TO SAY IT ISN T SATISFYING THOUGH 0ERFUME REALLY IS UNLIKE ANY lLM YOU VE EVER SEEN BEFORE AND GIVES US THE KIND OF ORGINALITY OFTEN LACKING FROM MODERN BLOCKBUSTERS 7HISHAW CARRIES THE lLM ON HIS SHOULDERS YET HARDLY SHOWS THE STRAIN (IS CALM WELL THOUGHT PERFORMANCE ADDS TO THE lLM S MYSTERY IT WOULD HAVE BEEN EASY TO PAINT 'RENOUILLE AS A SICK MONSTER BUT INSTEAD WE ARE MADE TO SEE THINGS FROM HIS SIDE 9OU CAN T HELP BUT CHEER FOR HIM BY THE lLM S END /VERALL 0ERFUME IS A DRAMATIC TENSE AND MOST IMPORTANTLY RICH STORY THE SMELLY WORLD THAT 'RENOUILLE INHABITS BROUGHT BRILLIANTLY TO LIFE !NDY *UDSON
$6$ 2ELEASES -ISS 0OTTER $IR #HRIS .OONAN 2ELEASED -OMENTUM 0ICTURES (OME %NTERTAINMENT 7HO BETTER TO PLAY "EATRIX 0OTTER THAN "RIDGET *ONES HERSELF 2ENEE :ELLWEGER 4HEREIN LIES THE PROB LEM -ISS 0OTTER COULD HAVE BEEN AN ENCHANTING TALE ABOUT THE LIFE OF A HIGHLY RESPECTED AUTHOR AND ARTIST WHO FOUGHT AGAINST HER OVER BEARING SOCIETY TO BECOME A GREAT SUCCESS AND WENT ON TO BECOME A VALIANT CONSERVATIONIST PROTECTING THE BEAUTY OF THE ,AKE $ISTRICT )NSTEAD HOWEVER FAR TOO MUCH
IS MADE OF THE "RIDGET *ONES LINK SO ANY MEANING IS LOST 4HE BRAV ERY OF 0OTTER IN GETTING HER BOOKS PUBLISHED AND NOT WISHING TO CON FORM TO HER SOCIETAL MOTHER S WISH TO MARRY IS OVERSHADOWED BY THE PLOT S EMPHASIS OF lNDING HER A MALE PARTNER %WAN -C'REGOR PER FORMS WELL AS SAID PARTNER BUT IT LEAVES A SOUR TASTE IN THE MOUTH 4HE SHOTS OF THE ,AKE $ISTRICT ARE ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS AND IT IS CERTAINLY ENJOYABLE TO POKE FUN AT THE OVERBEARING 6ICTORIANS "UT TO lNALLY SUBMIT TO THEIR DEMANDS IS SOMEWHAT DEPRESSING -ISS 0OTTER IS LOVELY mUFF FOR THIRTY SOMETHING WOMEN AND THEIR MUMS BUT LACKS WORTH FOR ANYONE ELSE !NDY *UDSON
-ISS 0OTTER
THE EVENT
(ANNIBAL 2ISING $IR 0ETER 7EBBER
3TARTER &OR 4EN
2ELEASED -OMENTUM 0ICTURES (OME %NTERTAINMENT 4HE 3ILENCE OF THE ,AMBS IS SIMPLY ONE OF THE BEST MOVIES EVER FACT 3O WHY DO THE SEQUELS STEADILY GET WORSE WELL 2ED $RAGON WAS ALRIGHT 4HE REAL MENACE OF (ANNIBAL ,ECTER IS GETTING STEADILY WATERED DOWN NOT BECAUSE WE RE lNDING OUT ABOUT THE STORY THAT CREATED THE MONSTER BUT BECAUSE SAID STORY IS SO PISSPOOR 4O BE FAIR TO YOUNG (ANNIBAL 'ASPARD 5LLIEL HE GIVES A FAIRLY GOOD PERFORMANCE ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING THE SHOES HE HAS TO lLL "UT THE SCRIPT AND MOTIVATIONS HE IS GIVEN ARE PATHETIC !LL SENSE OF TENSION AND DRAMA ARE LOST AND ATTEMPTS TO MAKE US SYMPATHISE WITH (ANNIBAL S QUEST TO AVENGE THE CANNIBALISTIC MURDER OF HIS SISTER ARE LOST BENEATH THE NEED TO FULlLL THE GORE QUOTA 9OU CAN PROBABLY GET 3ILENCE OF THE ,AMBS FOR CHEAPER THAN (ANNIBAL 2ISING MAKING IT A MUCH BETTER PURCHASE %STHER -ARTIN
3TARTER &OR 4EN $IR 4OM 6AUGHAN 2ELEASED )CON (OME %NTERTAINMENT 4HE BOOK 3TARTER &OR 4EN PROVIDES AN AMUSING AND SURPRISINGLY POIGNANT TAKE ON UNIVERSITY LIFE THAT MOST STUDENTS CAN ASSOCIATE WITH 4HE lLMED VERSION CATCHES THIS SPIRIT ADMIRABLY AND ALTHOUGH IT S SET IN THE S WHICH PROVIDES ENDLESS AMUSEMENT IN ITSELF 3TARTER &OR 4EN REMAINS A RELAVANT lLM AND ALL THE FUNNIER FOR IT *AMES -C!VOY CONTINUING HIS QUEST TO TAKE OVER THE lLM WORLD IS CHARMINGLY AWKWARD AS FRESHER
"RIAN THE SOUL OF THE lLM AND EVERY BIT THE GEEKY BUT LOVABLE YOUNG MAN 4HE VARIETY OF TYPICALITIES STRANGE mATMATES THE URGE TO BE A GENIUS THE OBSESSION WITH WOMEN ARE ALL HILARIOUSLY COMMUNICATED AND THE UNDERLYING THEMES OF CLASS BITTERNESS AND ATTEMPTS TO ESCAPE ONE S ROOTS ADD TRUE MEANING AS WELL )F THERE IS ANY JUSTICE 3TARTER &OR 4EN WILL BE REMEMBERED AS A TRUE "RIT CLASSIC FAR MORE MEANINGFUL THAN ANYTHING (UGH 'RANT COULD MANAGE BUT STILL LEAVING YOU CHUCKLING DAYS AFTER VIEWING 4HE FACT THAT $AVID .ICHOLLS WROTE THE SCRIPT FOR THE lLM OF HIS BOOK HAS DElNITELY HELPED ENSURE IT IS FAITHFUL AND ENJOYABLE AS EVER !NDY *UDSON
&ILM
#ASH #OW #ALLING
!S THE 5NIVERSITY YEAR COMES TO A CLOSE WE CAN LOOK FORWARD TO ANOTHER SUMMER CHOCKFUL OF LOVELY BLOCKBUSTERS +IERAN #ORNWELL LOOKS BACK AT HOW THIS PHENOMENON HAS DEVEL OPED OVER THE YEARS AND SHOWS HOW THIS SUMMER COULD BE THE BIGGEST ONE YET
2OCKY
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T BEGAN ON *UNE 4HE FIRST FILM TO BREAK (OLLYWOOD S MILLION SOUND BARRIER STATESIDE HERALDED THE BIRTH OF THE SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER AND THEY NAMED IT *AWS 4HE ONLY FILM THAT COULD HAVE PREVIOUSLY CLAIMED TO BE A BLOCKBUSTER WAS 'ONE 7ITH 4HE 7IND HAVING BROUGHT IN AN INFLATED BILLION AND HOLDING THE TOP SPOT FOR A GROSSING FILM FOR OVER YEARS -ARINE BIOLOGIST -ATT (OOPER 2ICHARD $REYFUSS SAYS OF THE TITULAR SHARK hWHAT WE ARE DEALING WITH HERE IS A PERFECT ENGINE AN EATING MACHINE )T S REALLY A MIRACLE OF EVOLUTION v ,IFE HAD INDEED IMITATED ART *AWS RULED THE BOX OFFICE AND SPARKED AN ABSOLUTE PHENOMENON THAT SHOCKED ALL INCLUDING 3PIELBERG (E WISELY REFLECTS hTHE BLOCKBUSTER ORIGINALLY WAS MADE BY THE GENERAL PUBLIC v !UDIENCES DEMANDED AND HE DELIVERED 3OON THERE WERE TWO AS 'EORGE ,UCAS ENTERED INTO THE FRAY IN WITH 3TAR 7ARS 4HE BLOCKBUSTER WAS NOT A ONE OFF ANYMORE IT WAS (OLLYWOOD ,UCAS AND 3PIELBERG ARE NOW REFERRED TO AS @THE BOYS OF THE SUMMER AND RIGHTLY SO BETWEEN AND THE TWO SHARED THE HIGHEST GROSSING PICTURE OF THE YEAR WITH ,UCAS 4HE %MPIRE 3TRIKES "ACK 3PIELBERG S )NDIANA *ONES AND 4HE 2AIDERS OF 4HE ,OST
4RANSFORMERS
4HE 3IMPSONS -OVIE IS PERHAPS THE MOST ANTICIPATED FILM OF THE SUMMER AND COULD BE THE DEATH OR RE BIRTH OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL 46 SHOW OF ALL TIME
!RK AND % 4 AND THE CONCLUDING CHAPTER OF THE ORIGINAL 3TAR 7ARS TRILOGY 4HE 2ETURN OF 4HE *EDI 4HESE GLORY DAYS HOWEVER LOOKED TO BE SHORT LIVED S TOP GROSSING FILM "ATMAN TOOK A RECORD MILLION OPENING WEEKEND BUT PROCEEDED TO HAVE DROP OFFS OF AND THE NEXT TWO WEEKENDS 4IMES WERE CHANGING S % 4 WHILST TAKING FAR LESS HAD REMAINED AT THE TOP FOR TEN WEEKS 4HE ONCE A GENERATION BLOCKBUSTER OF 'ONE 7ITH 4HE 7IND HAD BECOME A ONCE A YEAR EVENT IN THE S AND THEN AN EVERY WEEK OCCURRENCE )N THE SEQUEL WENT INTO OVERDRIVE WITH 4HE +ARATE +ID 0ART ))) ! .IGHTMARE ON %LM 3TREET AND &RIDAY THE TH 0ART 6))) 4HE PUBLIC THAT HAD DEMANDED AND CREATED THE BLOCKBUSTER WERE TEARING IT APART IT COULD HAVE BEEN A RISE IN WORLD POPULATION OR JUST PURE GREED BUT WHATEVER IT WAS THE QUANTITY OF FILMS WAS GROWING WHILST QUALITY WAS DWINDLING 4HE PROBLEMS CONTINUED INTO THE S WITH 'ODZILLA AND 7ATERWORLD BOTH GROSSING OVER MILLION DESPITE ABSOLUTE CRITICAL PANNINGS CAUSING HUGE DROP OFFS AFTER THE FIRST WEEKEND 4HIS SOMEHOW HELPED KEEP THE BLOCKBUSTER ALIVE PEOPLE GOT CURIOUS AS TO HOW MILLION BUDGET FILMS COULD BE THAT BAD AND SO RENTED THEM OUT INJECTING ENOUGH MONEY BACK INTO THE INDUSTRY FOR IT TO SURVIVE )T WAS A VERY CROOKED
SITUATION WAS NAMED hTHE YEAR OF THE ONE WEEK WONDERv BY 6ARIETY MAGAZINE THINGS WERE BLEAK INDEED "UT THEN CAME ALONG (ARRY &RODO AND THE FOLLOWING YEAR 3PIDEY !LL THREE SPARKED THE SORT OF BLISTERING SPECTACLE NOT SEEN SINCE THE GLORY DAYS OF THE S AND S 4HE BIG HITS HAD RETURNED AND WERE RECEIVED ADORINGLY BY BOTH BOX OFFICE AND CRITICS 4HE MOVIE WORLD IS STILL FLYING HIGH OFF THEIR SUCCESS AND PROMISES AN ABSOLUTE BAG OF DELIGHTS WHICH HITS THE FAN ON -AY WITH THE ARRIVAL OF 3PIDERMAN 0IRATES OF THE #ARIBBEAN !T 7ORLD S %ND THE NEXT MAJOR BLOCKBUSTER WILL NOT BE RELEASED UNTIL ANOTHER THREE WEEKS AFTER 3PIDEY 4HE TWO 3PIDERMAN PREQUELS GIVE IT ONE AND A HALF BILLION REASONS WHY THIS IS AN ASTUTE DECISION )N THE THIRD INSTALMENT A REVELATION ABOUT THE DEATH OF 0ETER S UNCLE "EN CAUSES 3PIDEY SOME SERIOUS PROBLEMS THAT ONLY MOUNT AS HIS WORLD DARKENS AND HE IS FORCED TO FACE AN ENEMY GREATER THAN ALL HIMSELF 4HIS IS ULTIMATELY THE MOST IMPORTANT MOVIE OF THE SUMMER AS BEING SO FAR OUT ON ITS OWN IN THE RELEASE SCHEDULE MEANS IT WILL BE SETTING THE TONE FOR THE SUMMER 0RESUMING IT PROVIDES THE SAME SUCCESS AS ITS PREQUELS A RECORD BREAKING CHARGE OF OVER BILLION WORLDWIDE FOR THE SUMMER COULD BE SEEN !S FOR THE COMPETITION 0IRATES ALSO PROMISES DARKER HORIZONS AS AN UNEASY ALLIANCE BETWEEN ,ORD "UTLER AND $AVEY *ONES THREATENS TO WIPE OUT THE LAST OF THE PIRATES #APTAIN *ACK 3PARROW *OHNNY $EPP IS GOING TO NEED SOME HELP THIS TIME AND 'EOFFREY 2USH REPRISING HIS ROLE AS "ARBOSSA AND #HOW 9UN &AT ARE ON HAND TO ASSIST 7HILST BOTH ARE FIRST RATE ACTORS THE FRANCHISE IS ALREADY VASTLY OVER POPULATED WITH CHIEF CHARACTERS AND IT CAN ONLY BE HOPED THAT THEIR ARRIVAL DOES NOT SPOIL THE BROTH 3PEAKING OF WHICH /CEAN S 4HIRTEEN PROMISES YET ANOTHER HEIST 7HETHER THIS WILL BE MORE %LEVEN OR 4WELVE IS ANYONE S GUESS BUT AS LONG AS AUDIENCES HAVE AS MUCH FUN AS 'EORGE "RAD AND -ATT DID LAST TIME AROUND THEN IT WILL BE LUCKY THIRTEEN *ULY WILL BE DOMINATED BY ANIMATED FILMS 3HREK 4HE 4HIRD 4RANSFORMERS AND 4HE 3IMPSONS -OVIE %XPECT MORE OF THE SAME
FROM THE GREEN OGRE AND WITH ALL THE MAIN PLAYERS BACK FOR ANOTHER SLICE OF THE ACTION 3HREK CAN ONLY BE ABSOLUTE BOX OFFICE GOLD !S FOR 4RANSFORMERS ANY FILM DIRECTED BY -ICHAEL "AY CAN ONLY BE BIG *AMES #AMERON BIG THIS REALLY IS GOING TO BLOW EVERYTHING BEFORE IT WELL AND TRULY OUT OF THE WATER 7ITH COMPUTERS TAKING UP TO HOURS TO RENDER SINGLE FRAMES SOME VERY HIGH QUALITY VISUALS ARE PROMISED -EANWHILE 4HE 3IMPSONS -OVIE IS PERHAPS THE MOST ANTICIPATED FILM OF THE SUMMER AND COULD BE THE DEATH OR RE BIRTH OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL 46 SHOW OF ALL TIME 4HE MAIN STORY FEATURES (OMER ON A MISSION TO SAVE THE WORLD FROM A CATASTROPHE WHICH HE OF COURSE STARTED /LD SCHOOL 3IMPSONS WRITERS AND DIRECTORS ARE BACK AT THE HELM AND MILLIONS ARE PRAYING THEY CAN BRING THE FAB FIVE BACK TO THEIR CLASSIC DAYS /THER BIG RUNNERS GRACING SCREENS THIS SUMMER INCLUDE (ARRY 0OTTER AND 4HE /RDER OF 4HE 0HOENIX 4HE QUALITY OF THE SERIES HAS BEEN INCREASING WITH EVERY FILM AND THE FIFTH IN THE FRANCHISE PROMISES TO DELIVER MORE AS (ARRY AND $UMBLEDORE TRY TO CONVINCE THE WIZARDING WORLD OF 6OLDEMORT S IMPENDING RETURN 4HE "OURNE 5LTIMATUM REACHES THE CONCLUSION OF *ASON "OURNE S -ATT $AMON SEARCH FOR THE TRUTH CONCERNING HIS PAST 4HE IMMENSELY TALENTED 0ADDY #ONSIDINE JOINS THE CAST AND 0AUL 'REENGRASS RETURNS AFTER WRITING AND DIRECTING LAST YEAR S HUGELY IMPRESSIVE 5NITED %XPECT A GRAND FINALE 4HEN THERE IS $IE (ARD ,IVE &REE OR $IE (ARD AND THE RETURN OF "RUCE 7ILLIS AS *OHN -C#LANE )T S BEEN FAR FAR TOO LONG 4HE TRAILER FEATURES A COLLISION BETWEEN AN AIRBORNE CAR AND A HELICOPTER AND IF THAT DOESN T WHET YOUR APPETITE NOTHING WILL 3UMMER IS LINING UP TO BE ONE OF THE GREATEST EVER AND WHILST THE BLOCKBUSTER IS NOT TO EVERYONE S TASTE IT MUST BE REMEMBERED THAT WITHOUT THEM THERE WOULD NOT BE THE CAPITAL TO DEVELOP SMALLER FILMS THROUGHOUT THE REST OF THE YEAR 4HEY REMAIN PIVOTAL TO THE CONTINUATION OF THE MOVIE INDUSTRY AND WILL DO SO FOR MANY YEARS TO COME SO GET DOWN TO THE CINEMA TODAY CHECK OUT THE SNEAK PREVIEWS AND BEGIN TO GET VERY VERY EXCITED
THE EVENT
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THE EVENT
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,OVE THEM OR HATE THEM -ACS SEEM TO BE EVERYWHERE AT THE MOMENT !LEX 2ODDIE RAVES ABOUT HIS -AC AND !LEX 0ARTRIDGE RALLIES AGAINST THEM &IGHT &OR -ACS ! -AC MIGHT STILL BE MORE EXPENSIVE THAN YOUR AVERAGE 0# BUT YOU RE PAYING FOR SU PERIOR QUALITY AND USABILITY 4HIS WRITER HAS BEEN SAT IN THE )4 LAB MANY TIMES SURROUNDED BY STUDENTS SWEARING AT THEIR 7INDOWS MACHINES WHILE HIS I"OOK HAS DONE EVERYTHING NEEDED IT TO DO FASTER MORE EFlCIENTLY AND MORE RELIABLY -ACS ARE CONSIDERED SO SECURE THAT 5%! DOESN T EVEN REQUIRE THEM TO HAVE ANTIVIRUS SOFT WARE BEFORE ALLOWING THEM TO CONNECT TO THE NETWORK 3AYS IT ALL REALLY 7E KNOW PEOPLE WHO LOVINGLY COLLECT OLD -ACS FROM THE S AND S THAT STILL WORK lNE AND ARE IN SOME CASES BETTER THAN MODERN COMPUTERS 4HESE SAME PEO PLE ALSO COLLECT OLD 0#S BUT TEND TO HIT THEM WITH PICKAXES JUST TO EXTRACT SPARE SCREWS 0EOPLE ARE PASSIONATE ABOUT -ACS WHEREAS THE WELL USED PHRASE h) HATE COM PUTERSv WAS INVENTED BY A 0# USER -ACS ALSO HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOUR )N THE RARE EVENT THAT A -AC IS BEYOND REPAIR AND HAS DRAWN ITS LAST BREATH IT PLAYS A
MELANCHOLY CHORD AND DISPLAYS AN ICON KNOWN AS THE @3AD -AC !LL A 0# USER CAN HOPE FOR IS THE IMPERSON AL AND RATHER ALARM ING BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH -ACS ARE EAS IER TO USE LOOK BETTER WORK BETTER AND LAST LONGER 4HEY RE COMPUTERS WITH CHAR ACTER 7HILE YOUR AVERAGE 0# MIGHT FADE INTO THE BACKGROUND A -AC IS INSTANTLY RECOGNISABLE -AC USERS NOD TO EACH OTHER ACROSS THE (IVE REC OGNISING A FELLOW DEVOTEE WHILE 0# USERS COMMISERATE OVER THEIR LATEST VIRUS OR CRASH
!GAINST -ACS !PPLE -ACS ARE AS CLOSE AS COMPUTERS COME TO BEING COOL 4HEY RE NOT JUST COM PUTERS THEY RE ULTRA COOL DESIGN CLASSICS AND AS A RESULT THEY SIT IN THE BACKGROUND IN 46 SHOWS AND lLMS BE CAUSE TO PUT IT BLUNTLY THEY LOOK BETTER THAN ANY OTHER COMPUTER 4HIS CRITIC IS WILLING TO CONCEDE THAT !S 3TEVE *OBS #%/ OF !PPLE SAID ON THE LAUNCH OF THE ORIGINAL I-AC hWE MADE THE BUTTONS ON THE SCREEN LOOK SO GOOD THAT YOU LL WANT TO LICK THEM v (OWEVER ONCE YOU VE lNISHED LICKING THE SCREEN ACTUALLY USING A -AC IS A TERRIFYING PROSPECT 3OME ONE RAISED ON -ICROSOFT S FUNCTIONAL BUT DULL 7INDOWS OPERATING SYSTEM WILL IM
'AMING 'REATS
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-ARIO 0ARTY .INTENDO 2ELEASED IN %UROPE IN THE ORIGINAL -ARIO 0ARTY WAS THE lRST IN WHAT WAS TO BE A LONG LINE OF THE BOARD GAME ESQUE SERIES FOR .INTENDO 4HE OVERALL AIM OF THE GAME WAS TO BE COME THE 3UPER 3TAR BY COLLECTING AS MANY STARS AS POSSIBLE WHILE YOU MADE YOUR WAY ROUND THE BOARD 4HESE STARS COULD BE PUR CHASED FROM 4OAD WHO WAS POSITIONED AT A RANDOM POINT ON THE BOARD OFTEN ANNOYINGLY FAR AWAY FROM WHERE YOU WERE !T THE START OF THE GAME AFTER CHOOSING YOUR CHARACTER YOU ROLLED THE DICEBLOCK AND BEGAN YOUR EXPLORATION OF THE GAME BOARD !LONG THE WAY YOU ENCOUNTERED A NUMBER OF FUN AND INTERESTING GAME FEATURES SUCH AS THE DIFFERENT TYPES OF SPACES YOU COULD LAND ON AND THE VARIOUS ITEM SHOPS YOU COULD VISIT 4HERE WERE SIX DIFFERENT GAME BOARDS TO CHOOSE FROM NAMED AFTER EACH OF THE CHARAC TERS MEANING YOU COULD HAVE A VARIED GAMING EXPERIENCE EACH TIME YOU PLAYED 4HE MINI GAMES WERE ONE OF THE BEST AND MOST MEMORABLE FEATURES OF THE GAME AND WITH TO CHOOSE FROM EVERYONE COULD lND
MEDIATELY FEEL LOST 7HERE S THE START BUT TON 7HY IS THERE NO REASSURING TASKBAR AT THE BOTTOM REMINDING YOU WHAT WIN DOWS YOU HAVE OPEN 7HY IS THERE ONLY ONE MOUSE BUTTON 4O A 7INDOWS USER USING A -AC FEELS LIKE A STEP BACK INTO THE DARK AGES .O AMOUNT OF SHINY PLASTIC CASING OR LIGHT UP !PPLE LOGOS CAN MAKE UP FOR IT S FAILINGS AS A COMPUTER ! COMPUTER EXPERT WILL TELL YOU ABOUT A -AC S POOR COMPUTING POWER THE LACK OF SUPPORT FOR HUNDREDS OF PRO GRAMS THAT 7INDOWS USERS TAKE FOR GRANT ED AND THE FACT THAT THE RANGE OF GAMES AVAILABLE FOR -ACS STRETCHES FROM &OOTBALL -ANAGER TO &OOTBALL -ANAGER 4ALK ABOUT VARIETY "UT SUCH ARGUMENTS ARE POINTLESS 0EOPLE WHO BUY -ACS DON T CARE ABOUT HOW FUNCTIONAL THEIR COMPU TER IS OR WHAT GAMES THEY CAN PLAY ON IT THEY JUST CARE ABOUT HOW COOL IT LL MAKE THEM LOOK WHEN THEY CASUALLY PULL IT OUT TO MAKE NOTES ON IN LECTURES !ND IS THERE REALLY ANY MORE DAMNING INDICTMENT OF -AC OWNERS THAN THAT
0OP#AP 'AMES
AT LEAST ONE THAT THEY COULD BE GREATEST AT 4HERE WAS EVERYTHING FROM -ARIO "ANDSTAND TO -USHROOM -IX UP WITH 4IPSY 4OURNEY AND 4REASURE $IVERS IN BETWEEN 9OU COULD TEST YOUR MEMORY WITH 3HY 'UY 3AYS OR TRY YOUR LUCK WITH (OT 2OPE *UMP 4HE WINNER WAS THE PERSON WITH THE MOST STARS COLLECTED AT THE END OF THE GAME (OW EVER BONUS STARS COULD BE ADDED TO YOUR TOTAL IF YOU HAD WON THE MOST MINI GAMES COL LECTED THE MOST COINS OR LANDED ON THE MOST OF A CERTAIN TYPE OF SPACE )T COULD BE THE MOST GUTTING THING TO BE BEATEN BY YOUR FRIEND JUST BECAUSE THEY HAD LANDED ON MORE h v SPACES THAN YOU !LTHOUGH IT COULD BE A LITTLE BORING WHEN PLAYING ON YOUR OWN -ARIO 0ARTY WAS A BRIL LIANT MULTIPLAYER GAME 7HAT COULD BE BETTER THAN INVITING THREE OF YOUR BEST .INTENDO LOV ING FRIENDS OVER FOR A COLD BEER A TUBE OF 0RIN GLES AND A HIGH OCTANE GAME OF -ARIO 0ARTY .OT MUCH WE RE WILLING TO BET ! TESTIMONY TO IT S GREATNESS IS THE FACT THAT THERE HAS BEEN A SEQUEL TO IT EVERY YEAR SINCE THIS lRST OUTING AND WITH YET ANOTHER SEQUEL -ARIO 0ARTY DUE FOR RELEASED LATER THIS YEAR WE LL BE PLAYING -ARIO 0ARTY FOR MANY YEARS TO COME
WWW POPCAP COM 7HEN YOU GET TIRED OF REVISION OR WRIT ING THAT LAST ESSAY OF THE YEAR WHY NOT CHECK OUT THIS GAMES WEBSITE &ILLED WITH INTENSELY ANNOYING BUT SOMEHOW RATHER SATISFYING WEB GAMES YOU LL lND HOURS DISAPPEAR INTO MAKING THE LONGEST WORD ON "OOKWORM OR FEEDING lSH AND lGHT ING ALIENS IN )NSANIQUARUM
7ORK 3MART WWW WORKSMART ORG UK 'OT A JOB OVER THE SUMMER 'RADUATING 7HEN YOU NEED TO EARN BACK SOME OF THE MONEY YOU VE SPENT ALL YEAR MAKE SURE YOU KNOW YOUR RIGHTS 3TUDENTS ARE OFTEN TAKEN AD VANTAGE OF BUT THIS WEBSITE FROM THE 45# SETS OUT WHAT YOUR EMPLOYER CAN n AND CAN T n DO
#OOKING BY .UMBERS WWW COOKINGBYNUMBERS COM 7E VE ALL DONE IT AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER 9OU OPEN THE CUPBOARD TO lND A SOLITARY TIN OF BEANS SOME NOODLES AND THREE PIECES OF PINEAPPLE &EAR NOT MY FRIENDS FOR ENTER YOUR ITEMS INTO THIS WEBSITE AND YOU LL GET INSTANT RECIPES 4HE RECIPES FOR VODKA JELLIES ARE PRETTY INVENTIVE TOO
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