Issuu

!RT #OMPUTING #REATIVE 7RITING &ASHION &ILM -USIC 4ELEVISION

THE EVENT

-ETROSEXUALITY ANDTHE#ITY 0,53

)SSUE

7OMEN IN fLMS 4EECHERS 4HE -ACCABEES

#ONTENTS &ASHION

-USIC

7E BRING YOU THE HOTTEST NEWS FROM ,ONDON &ASHION 7EEK WHILE ALSO EXAMINING METROSEXUALITY

!RTS

!LBUMS #OLD 7AR +IDS )DLEWILD AND THE (OT &UZZ SOUNDTRACK 3INGLES -UMM 2A 2ED (OT #HILI 0EPPERS AND -AXIMO 0ARK !N INTERVIEW WITH UP AND COMING INDIE TYKES 4HE -ACCABEES ,IVE 2EVIEWS #OLD 7AR +IDS #33 AND -ICHAEL "AILEY

#HICAGO HITS .ORWICH AND WE LOOK AT 5%! S FAVOURITE BOOKS

&ILM

7E GO BEHIND THE SCENES AT THE FORTHCOMING 4EECHERS

(OT &UZZ AS GOOD AS 3HAUN OF THE $EAD 0LUS 3TAR 4REK

4HE )LLUSIONIST 4HE 'OOD 3HEPHERD AND #HARLOTTE S 7EB

4HE EXCELLENT ,IFE ON -ARS REVIEWED PLUS "LACK "OOKS

-ULHOLLAND $RIVE AND 3NAKES ON A 0LANE SLITHER TO $6$

#ANDID #AMERA ! LOOK AT THE WORRYING LATEST 53 REALITY 46 SHOW

7OMEN IN lLMS 7HY IS (OLLYWOOD STILL SO .EANDERTHAL

#REATIVE 7RITING

,ISTINGS

#OMPUTING

! SELECTION OF POETRY AND PROSE FROM THIS ISSUE S CONTRIBUTORS

#ENTRE &EATURE

-AN SKIRT -ANAGEMENT A NEW FASHION CRAZE IS APPARENTLY SWEEPING THE COUNTRY MEN IN SKIRTS %H 7E INVESTIGATE

4HE 3IMS ,IFE 3TORIES HITS OUR 0#S BUT IS IT ONE 3IMS GAME TOO MANY 0LUS 4HEME (OSPITAL AND 0IMP 4HAT 3NACK /H YES

THE EVENT

#HRIS %DITORIAL (ELLO /+ IT WAS OUR PSEUDO TH BIRTHDAY LAST ISSUE BUT THIS ISSUE IS ACTUALLY A BIRTHDAY OF SOME SORT )T S NUMBER WHICH IS QUITE AN ACHIEVEMENT FOR SOMETHING THAT STARTED OFF AS A TINY SUPPLE MENT WITH #ONCRETE 3O WELL DONE TO 4HE %VENT AND WELL DONE TO EVERYONE WHO S CONTRIBUTED TO IT THIS YEAR AND EVERY YEAR PREVIOUSLY WITHOUT YOU WE COULDN T HAVE MADE IT SO GIVE YOURSELVES A PAT ON THE BACK %NOUGH SELF CONGRATULATION 4HIS ISSUE INSTEAD OF MY USUAL TRADEMARK RANT FOR THE EDITORIAL ) VE DECIDED TO TRY BEING A BIT MORE POSITIVE AND LOOK AT THE WEEKS AHEAD FOR WHAT TO DO IN .ORWICH AS THERE ARE QUITE A FEW EXCITING ATTRACTIONS AT VARIOUS PLACES IN OUR lNE CITY COMING SOON 4OP OF THE BILL FOR MANY IS THE LEGEN DARY 3TEVEN 3EAGAL AND HIS BAND 4HUNDERBOX APPEARING AT THE ,#2 ON &RIDAY NIGHT +NOWN TO MOST FOR HIS UNIQUE lLMS 3EAGAL IS AP PARENTLY A GREAT GUITAR PLAYER TOO CRACKING OUT BLUES ÌLA EARLY $YLAN )T REMAINS TO BE SEEN WHETHER HIS MUSIC IS QUITE AS JAW DROPPING AS HIS MOVIES OR IF HIS BAND WILL SINK INTO OBSCURITY LIKE +EANU 2EEVES AND 2USSELL #ROWE S BUT IT SHOULD BE ENTERTAINING EITHER WAY -EAN WHILE THOSE LOOKING FOR A lX OF 3EAGAL IN ARSE KICKING MODE COULD DO WORSE THAN AIM THEIR BROWS

ERS AT !MAZON THE ONLINE SHOP IS CURRENTLY OFFERING AN DISC 3EAGAL BOX SET FOR A lVER 4HAT S P A lLM ! BARGAIN IN ANYONE S BOOKS /N THE RD -ARK 7ATSON IS BRINGING HIS LATEST STAND UP TOUR TO THE 0LAYHOUSE (AVING GRADUATED FROM THE PERMANENT PANEL SHOW TOUR THAT MANY UP AND COMING COMEDIANS SEEM TO GET THEM SELVES INTO 7ATSON IS A GENUINELY FUNNY LIVE ACT AND IT LOOKS LIKE A HIGHLIGHT IN .ORWICH S COMEDY CALENDAR !T THE 7ATERFRONT THE FOLLOWING NIGHT !SH WILL BE OFFER ING A PREVIEW OF SONGS FROM THEIR NEW ALBUM DUE FOR RELEASE IN *ULY ALONG WITH ALL THE HITS FROM 3HINING ,IGHT TO 'OLDlNGER 4HEY RE ONE OF THE BEST LIVE BANDS ) VE EVER SEEN DESPITE HAVING LOST A GREAT AND EXTREMELY HOT GUITARIST IN THE FORM OF #HARLOTTE (ATHERLEY THEY LL STILL BE BRILLIANT 4HERE S A SONG AVAILABLE FOR PREVIEW AT THE BAND S -Y3PACE PAGE HINTING AT A MORE POP LIKE DIRECTION THAN S FAUX METAL -ELTDOWN WHILE RETAINING SOME OF THAT ALBUM S ROCKY THEATRICS )T SEEMS LIKE !SH COULD BE MAKING A MARK ON THE MUSICAL MAP ONCE AGAIN THIS YEAR #OMBINE ALL THIS WITH 4HE .AKED 2ACIST ON THE TH CONTRO VERSIAL AND IT LOOKS LIKE A GOOD COUPLE OF WEEKS FOR .ORWICH 7OW ) MANAGED TO GET THROUGH A WHOLE COLUMN WITHOUT RANTING

The!NNA 3TEWARD %DITOR IN #HIEF %DITOR #HRIS (YDE $EPUTY %DITOR &IONA "ILLINGS !RTS %DITORS 2OANNA "OND AND -IRANDA "RYANT #ONTRIBUTORS

#OMPETITION

) VE BEEN GETTING ALL EXCITED ABOUT 3TEVEN 3EAGAL COMING TO 5%! THIS ISSUE AND NOW YOU HAVE A CHANCE TO GO AND SEE HIM ABSOLUTELY FREE 7E HAVE TWO PAIRS OF TICKETS TO GIVE AWAY SO IF YOU WANT TO BE ONE OF THE LUCKY FEW WHO WILL SEE 3EAGAL WITHOUT FORKING OUT a FOR THE PRIVELEGE ANSWER THIS SO EASY IT HURTS QUESTION &OR WHICH MOBILE PHONE COMPANY DID 3EAGAL RECENTLY APPEAR IN AN ADVERT A /RANGE B 0URPLE C "LOOD2ED 0OP YOUR ANSWER IN AN EMAIL TO CONCRETE COMPETITIONS UEA AC UK BY ON 4HURSDAY TH 7IN NERS WILL BE EMAILED ON 4HURSDAY EVENING SO BE PREPARED FOR A DOSE OF 3EAGAL 'OOD LUCK

*ACK #LARKE 3ARAH (ESKETH #HLOE 0EW ,ATTER -ATT 2AMSAY

#OMPUTING %DITOR 0HIL 2OBINSON

#ONTRIBUTORS &IONA "ILLINGS #HRIS (YDE 2OBERT *ACKMAN

#REATIVE 7RITING %DITOR )MAN 3ID

#ONTRIBUTORS ,ETITIA -CKIE *OHN -UTCH 2 4HANATOS -EGHAN 0URVIS

&ASHION %DITOR 5MAY +ALSOOM $EPUTY &ASHION %DITOR #ARINA 2IZVI #ONTRIBUTOR !LANNAH 7ELLS

&ILM %DITOR !NDY *UDSON

$EPUTY &ILM %DITOR ,YDIA -OSSAHEBI #ONTRIBUTORS +IERAN #ORNWELL (OLLY #URTIS %MMA &EATHERSTONE !NDY *ONES .ATASHA +UNDAIKER ,IAM / "RIEN ,AURA -ARSHALL *OHN -UTCH 6IMBAI -UKWENHA

,ISTINGS #OMPETITIONS %DITOR *EMMA 4HAKE

-USIC %DITOR 'REG 3ULLIVAN

#ONTRIBUTOR +IERAN #ORNWELL -ARK #RAWLEY -ATT (IMSWORTH #HRIS (YDE ,EWIS -ORTON

46 %DITOR .ATASHA +UNDAIKER

#ONTRIBUTORS (OLLY #URTIS 2OBERT *ACKMAN !MANDA ,IM 3IMON -URPHY +IERA / "RIEN

#HRIS

THE EVENT

&ASHION

4HAT S (OT 7E RE (OT , O N D O N & A S H I O N 7E E K ,AST WEEK THE ,ONDON &ASHION 7EEK STALLS GRACED THE .ATURAL (ISTORY -USEUM ONCE AGAIN FOR A SUPER STYLE SPECTACULAR WITH SOME OF OUR FAVOURITE DESIGNERS A FEW NEW ONES A BAG OF DIFFERENT ERAS MASHED UP GENDER MIXING CATWALK TRIP UPS COLLECTION AFTER COLLECTION OF EYE CANDY AND CELEB SPOTTING GALORE 4HE TRENDS TO LOOK OUT FOR ARE THE ONES THAT HAVE BEEN mOATING AROUND FOR A FEW CYCLES NOW SUCH AS THE GLIMMER AND SHINE OF METALLIC SILVER AND GOLDS *ULIEN -AC$ONALD SHOWED US HOW WITH .AOMI #AMPBELL STRUTTING HER LONG LEGS AND A CUTE SPARKLY NUMBER 4HIS COMES AS NO SURPRISE AS RHINESTONE AND CRYSTAL SHIFT DRESSES HAVE BEEN PARADING THE MAGAZINES FOR A WHILE NOW (OWEVER THIS SEASON WE ARE GOING A BIT MORE SCI l AND FUTURISTIC WITH BIG METAL DISC BELTS AND A S BODY CON REVIVAL OF TIGHT ROBOT STYLE DRESSES !S A CONTRAST THE SUMMER COLLECTIONS ARE SHOWING THAT BRIGHTER THAN BRIGHT WILL BE HOT )F YOU WANT A FRESH WARDROBE FROM A NEW DESIGNER THEN #HRISTOPHER +ANE IS THE MAN FOR YOU (AVING RECENTLY GRADUATED FROM #ENTRAL 3T -ARTINS HE S ALREADY BEEN BAGGED BY 4OPSHOP AND $ONATELLA 6ERSACE AND DEBUTED HIS SECOND SHOW AT ,&7 #RITICS REPORTEDLY LOVE WHAT IS AN UNLIKELY COMBINATION OF FEATHERS AND VELVETx IT DOESN T SOUND SO GOOD BUT IF A DESIGNER CAN MAKE THAT SEXY THEN YOU RE DElNITELY ON TO A WINNER "ACK IN BLACKx 0ANELLED BLOCKS OF BLACK AND MONOCHROME PLAYED ON THE SIXTIES SILHOUETTE OF TODAY S CUTE MINI DRESSES 4HE ANDROGYNOUS LOOK REMAINS A DESIGNER FAVOURITE NEW DESIGNER #HRISTOPHER +ANE EXHIBITED A GOTH STYLE JEAN AND 2OCHA SHOWED US A LEAN PANT THAT IS A LITTLE 6ICTORIAN AND PUNK BEING CUT JUST ABOVE THE ANKLE 4HE 'ARETH 0UGH SHOW FUNKED UP THE THEME OF BLACK RUBBER FACE MASKS AS ONE MODEL LOST HER BALANCE IN THE MASK AND COMPLETELY LOST HER SENSE OF DIRECTION ON THE LONG WHITE LINE HOW HARD CAN IT BE 4HE FEMININE MASCULINE BLEND IS NOT OVER JUST YET AS A RETRO S SILHOUETTE ALSO SURFACED IN THE HIGH WAISTED WIDE LEG TROUSER WITH CHIC CHIFFON BLOUSES STRIPED BLOUSES TUCKED IN AND GROWN UP TUXEDO JACKETS 4HE NUDE CHIFFON BLOUSES FROM .OIR DID NOT SEEM TO PLEASE THE CRITICS FOR THEIR SIMPLER LOOK EVEN IF %RIN / #ONNER AND A CURVIER ,ILY #OLE EMERGED TO SHOW THEM ON THE CATWALK 4HE MASCULINE OUTlT WAS SWUNG WITH DINNER SHIRTS SATIN BOW TIES AND BRACES @-ORE MORE MORE #HRISTIAN $IOR &ASHION (1 JUST MADE THAT ONE UP BUT (ENRY (OLLAND HOW MANY MORE SLOGAN 4 SHIRTS CAN YOU MAKE ! FAVOURITE WITH FASHIONISTA 6ICTORIA "ECKHAM THESE CAN BE FOUND AT 3ELFRIDGES AND THEY ROCKED THE ,&7 RUNWAY 4IRED OF YOUR HEAVY COAT 4HEN GET YOURSELF A CARDIGAN COATx NOT A BULKY KNIT AND NOT A TRENCH IT S THE PERFECT IN BETWEEN FOR OUR TEMPORAL WEATHER THAT GIVES US THE PMT TREATMENT ALMOST EVERY DAY

Y O U R

W H A T ’ S

C A M P U S F A S H I O N

7ILL 4RUSTRAM RD 9R ,AW *ACKET 0ETER 7ERTH 4 SHIRTS ( - 53! *EANS 4OPMAN 3HOES ,ACOSTE

-ANLY MAN

THE EVENT

S T Y L E ? #HARLOTTE ,OW ND 9R 0OLITICS

7ILL (OLLOWAY ND 9R (ISTORY

3KIRT 4OP SHOP 4OP $OR OTHY 0ERKINS

2ED JUMPER $USTBIN

#OAT $OR OTHY 0ERKINS

4 SHIRT 0OP "OUTIQUE

4IGHTS 0RIMARK

*EANS 2OCK IT

3HOES /Fl CE

4RENDY GUY

3CARF 0EACOCKS

'IRLY GIRL

"AG -ATALAN

&ASHION

3HE S (OT (E S (OT 0INK &ASHION &OR -EN -EN IN PINK &ASHIONISTAS HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE DIVIDED OVER THIS TREND WHILE SOME MEN THEMSELVES ARE SCEPTICAL ABOUT THE CALMING COLOUR 7E THINK THAT IF A MAN CAN PULL IT OFF WITH STYLE THEN THERE COULDN T BE A BETTER COLOUR TO HAVE IN YOUR WARDROBE THAT CO ORDINATES WITH EVERYTHING COMPLIMENTS ANY SKIN TONE AND #ONCRETE &ASHION (1 LOVES "E COOL

T 4WO &ASHION #ONSCIOUS -EN (1 WE VE BEEN SAV ING THIS HUMDINGER OF A QUESTION FOR QUITE A WHILE IS IT OK FOR MEN TO BE METRO SEXUAL AND WEAR PINK )T S THE QUESTION THAT HAS SPLIT THE MALE POPULATION APART WITH MEN INCREASINGLY EXPECTED TO MATCH THEIR FEMALE COUNTERPART S EXCESSIVE GROOMING REGIMES -ANY YOUNG LADS ARE HAPPY TO MOULD THEIR HAIR AND MOISTURISE THEIR FACE BUT THERE ARE JUST AS MANY WHO ARE LIV ID ABOUT THE MOVE AWAY FROM THE OLD FASHIONED RUGGED BEAR HUNT ING BIG DRINKING hDON T GIVE A SHIT WHAT WAY MY HAIRS POINTINGv TYPE LOOK OF YESTERYEAR 7E AREN T SUGGESTING FOR ONE MINUTE THAT WE CAN SOLVE THIS MAM MOTH QUESTION THIS FORTNIGHT WITH OUR HORRIBLY MEAGRE WORD COUNT

BUT WE WILL DELVE INTO ONE PARTICU LARLY TANTALISING ISSUE MEN WEARING PINK 5P UNTIL RECENTLY THE COLOUR PINK HAS BEEN ASSOCIATED WITH ALL THINGS GIRLY BUT NOW YOU CAN T MOVE IN A TRENDY WINE BAR WITHOUT SEEING AT LEAST ONE GUY SPORTING A PINK EN SEMBLE 4HERE ARE SOME GENUINELY GOOD REASONS FOR THIS DRAMATIC SHIFT IN OPINION 7HEN A MAN WEARS PINK HE EXUDES CONlDENCE YET MOST CRU CIALLY HE APPEARS SENSITIVE AND CAR ING )T COULD ALSO BE AS SIMPLE AS THE FACT THAT PINK CO ORDINATES WITH AL MOST EVERY COLOUR AND IN PARTICULAR LOOKS GREAT WITH A PAIR OF QUALITY DARK JEANS THE STAPLE OF ANY DAPPER MAN S WARDROBE )F YOU RE STILL NOT CONVINCED HOW GREAT PINK IS THEN HOW ABOUT THIS WOMEN LOVE PINK AND ARE MORE LIKELY TO GIVE YOU A SECOND GLANCE IF YOU SWAY INTO THAT

7HAT WERE YOU THINKING

AFOREMENTIONED TRENDY WINE BAR IN A CLASSY PINK SHIRT OUTCLASSING ALL THE DRABLY DRESSED POSEURS THAT SUR ROUND YOU 7ELL THAT WAS EASY 0INK IS GOOD 0INK IS COOL 0INK IS FOR WIN NERS $ON T THINK THAT REAL MEN CAN T EXPERIMENT WITH COLOUR 2EAL MEN ARE THOSE THAT DARE TO PUSH THE BOUNDARIES OF MODERN THINKING AND CHANGE THE WORLD *UST LOOK AT 'ARY ,INEKER A HERO TO US ALL FOR HIS FOOTBALL CAREER QUALITY PRESENTING AND STUPENDOUS TAN HE IS HAPPY TO WEAR A CRISP PINK SHIRT ON -ATCH OF THE $AY IN FRONT OF MILLIONS OF TES TOSTERONE FUELLED VIEWERS !ND YOU KNOW HE LOOKS GOOD 3O WITH THAT IN MIND WE URGE YOU HERE AT 4WO &ASHION #ONSCIOUS -EN TO NOT BE AFRAID OF CHANGE AND BECOME ONE OF THOSE BOUNDARY BREAKING REAL MEN AND PUT ON SOME PINK 4WO &ASHION #ONSCIOUS -EN XXX

4HIS WEEK WE STAGED THE TRIAL OF -EN VS 7OMEN TO DISCOVER WHICH GENDER HAS COMMITTED THE WORST CRIMES AGAINST FASHION 4HE COURT IS IN SESSION 4IE DYE 7HAT HURTS MOST IS THAT WE ALL FELL FOR THIS SICK TRICK 3HOULDER PADS 4HERE IS NO DEFENCE FOR THIS LADIES IT IS A BADGE OF SHAME WE MUST WEAR FOREVER ,ABEL WHORES 7OMEN SAID TACKY -EN SAID ASSUME IT S A FAKE 4HIS IS IRRITATING IF YOU ALL KNOW ITS A PROBLEM THEN WHY IS IT STILL OUT THERE 7OMEN IN HALF ITEMS OF CLOTHING 4OM IN THE SQUARE SAID HIS OBJECTION T O THIS FASHION STATEMENT WAS SIMPLE h)T S LIKE #HRISTMAS WHO WANTS A HALF WRAPPED PRESENT v 4OM YOU RE HARS BUT FAIR -ALE 0ONCHO "OYS THIS STYLE CRASHED AND BURNED ON GIRLS AND YET STILL WE FOUND YOU UT TERING THE SENTENCE h"UT #LINT %ASTWOOD WORE ONE v 5NLESS IT S THE S AND YOU ARE IN A WESTERN THERE IS SIMPLY NO EXCUSE "ANDANAS 4HIS ONE IS A DRAW "OTH GERNDERS PARTOOK OF THE BANDANA AND LET S BE HONEST THE CLOSEST MOST OF US GOT TO A GHETTO WAS WATCHING -ILE -EN IN MAKEUP 4HIS SEEMED TO ANGER A LOT OF THE FEMALES POLLED &ACE IT WHAT COUPLE REALLY WANTS TO BE ABLE TO ASK THE QUESTION h)S THAT MY EYELINER OR YOURS v "IG MISTAKE BOYS BIG MISTAKE #ROCS 4HEY SELL THEM FOR BOTH GENDERS ARE MEANT TO BE UNBELIEVABLY COMFY AND DO SERVE AN ORTHO PEDIC FUNCTION (OWEVER AS )AN FROM THE RED BAR COMMENTED h4HOSE RUBBER CLOGS THINGS %VEN ) THINK THEY MING AND ) DON T USUALLY HAVE AN OPINIONv )T HAS COME TO OUR FASHION TEAM S ATTENTION THEY SELL A mIP mOP VERSION SO WHY DON T YOU BUY THOSE INSTEAD 'O ON DO IT FOR )AN 4 SHIRTS WITH VERY POOR TEXT !PPARENTLY A PET HATE OF BOTH SEXES 3UZIE IN THE SQUARE SAYS h) M NOT BEING FUNNY BUT ON MEN THEY LOOK SHIT v 4HIS IS CORRECT 3UZIE BUT YOU LL lND THEY DON T LOOK SO HOT ON WOMEN EITHER (OOP EARRINGS ,ADIES YES IT WAS ALL THE RAGE BUT THE BOYS ARE RIGHT WE DID LOOK LIKE CHAVS 4HE VERDICT WE HAD HOPED TO DECLARE A VICTORIOUS GENDER BUT SADLY IT SEEMS WHERE ONE SEX GOES THE OTHER SOON FOLLOWS 4HUS WE ARE PUTTING IT TO SUDDEN DEATH WHOEVER MAKES THE NEXT MISTAKE LOSES /H BALLS THE TURBAN IS ABOUT TO HIT THE FEMALE HIGH STREET 7E HAVE A WINNER

THE EVENT

!RTS 4HEATRE 2EVIEWS #REATIVE 7RITING -! 0ROGRAMME -ONOLOGUES %VENING 5%! $RAMA 3TUDIO 4UESDAY TH &EBRUARY 4HE ART OF A GOOD DRAMATIC MONOLOGUE HAS A DECEPTIVE EASE ABOUT IT )N THE HANDS OF A MASTER LIKE !LAN "ENNETT THE WORDS LIFT EASILY FROM THE PAGE INTO AN AUTHENTIC SPEECH WHICH WE BELIEVE MIGHT REALLY ISSUE FROM THE CHARACTER SPEAKING IT ! GOOD MONOLOGUE DEPENDS ON CHARACTER RATHER THAN NARRATIVE FOR IT S SUCCESS AND THE WRITER OFTEN HAS TO RESIST THE URGE TO SHOW OFF HIS ELOQUENCE )F A BRICKIE TELLS YOU HIS PINT OF 'UINESS IS LIKE THE MARBLED SKIES OF A GATHERING STORM CHANCES ARE YOU WON T BELIEVE HIM 4HE MONOLOGUES PRODUCED BY A SELECTION OF THE PROSE WRITERS ON THIS YEAR S #REATIVE 7RITING -! OPENED WITH A "ENNETT ESQUE PIECE BY !NNA 4OWERS WHICH READILY EXPLOITED THE GAP BETWEEN SPEAKER AND WHAT S REALLY BEING SAID 4HE COMIC TONE OF A YOUNG WOMAN PREGNANT AFTER CASUAL SEX ON A BOUNCY CASTLE AT A CHILDREN S BIRTHDAY PARTY WAS DARKLY UNDERCUT BY HINTS AT A PREVIOUS STILLBIRTH 4HERE WAS AN EMOTIONAL DEPTH THAT LAY BURIED IN THE LANGUAGE WHICH SHONE THROUGH EVEN WHEN .ICCY -ILL S PERFORMANCE FALTERED A LITTLE AT CAPTURING THE SUBTLETIES OF HER OWN SPEECH 4HERE WAS SOME VERY GOOD WRITING ON DISPLAY IN THE EVENING /NLY A COUPLE OF THE PIECES FELL INTO THE TRAP OF SOUNDING LIKE SHORT STORIES READ ALOUD RATHER THAN PERFORMANCE PIECES THEIR LANGUAGE EMPLOYING METAPHORS THAT JUST DON T DROP OUT OF PEOPLE S MOUTHS IN CONVERSATION (OWEVER IN MOST OF THE PIECES YOU FELT LIKE THE WRITING HAD BEEN A LITTLE LET DOWN BY ITS ACTORS AS ONLY A SMALL NUMBER OF THE CAST HAD ACTUALLY LEARNT THEIR LINES /LIVIA 6INALL WAS PERFECTLY CAST IN (UNTERS A VERY IMPRES SIVE PIECE ABOUT THE INCREASING SENILITY OF A PARENT WRITTEN BY #LARE *ARRETT )F ONLY SHE D HAD THE FREEDOM TO ACTUALLY PERFORM RATHER THAN JUST READ THIS COULD HAVE BEEN A VERY GOOD PIECE OF THEATRE 3IMILARLY THERE WAS A HUGE DIFFERENCE IN 7ILL )SGROVE S EAGER COMIC TURN IN 'OITER $EEP WHERE HE WAS ABLE TO PLAY OFF HIS CO STAR AND HIS EXPRES SIONLESS READING IN (OTEL &RIENDSHIP WHERE HE WAS TIED TO THE LENGTHY SCRIPT IN HIS HANDS "Y CONTRAST 3TEPHANIE ,EAL GAVE AN EXCELLENT PERFORMANCE AS AN !MERICAN BUDGET PORN STAR WHOSE EX BOYFRIEND HAD SURFACED ON DEATH ROW 3HOWING REMARKABLE COMMITMENT TO HER CHARACTER HER COSTUME LEFT LITTLE TO THE IMAGINATION AND SHE CLOSED THE lRST HALF OF THE EVENING WITH A PERFORMANCE OF REAL ENERGY 3ARAH (ESKETH

#HICAGO .ORWICH 4HEATRE 2OYAL -ONDAY TH &EBRUARY 7ITH THE CONTINUING SUCCESS OF #HICAGO AT THE #AMBRIDGE 4HEATRE IN THE 7EST %ND THE SHOW EMBARKS UPON ITS NATIONAL TOUR 7ITH .ORWICH S 4HEATRE 2OYAL ITS lRST DESTINA TION EXPECTATIONS WERE HIGH ON OPENING NIGHT "ASED ON REAL LIFE EVENTS IN #HICAGO )LLINOIS IN THE S NIGHTCLUB SINGER 2OXIE (ART SHOOTS HER LOVER DEAD !LONG WITH RIVAL 6ELMA +ELLY A DOUBLE MURDERESS THEY lGHT TO STAY OFF DEATH ROW WITH THE HELP OF SMOOTH TALKING LAWYER "ILLY &LYNN PLAYED BY 'EORGE !SPREY 7ITH SUCH RENOWNED TRACKS AS !LL 4HAT *AZZ AND #ELL "LOCK 4ANGO AMONG THE OPENING NUMBERS THERE WAS ALWAYS GOING TO BE SUFlCIENT GROUNDS FOR THE AUDIENCE TO WARM TO THE PERFORMERS EARLY ON 3O IT PROVED AND THE ACTORS DIDN T LOST THE AUDIENCE ONCE THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE SHOW %VEN IN THE PROMISED LAND OF THE 7EST %ND IT IS RARE FOR THE WHISTLES AND CHEERS FROM THE AUDIENCE TO COME MUCH BEFORE THE CURTAIN YET HERE THEY ARRIVED WELL IN ADVANCE OF THE INTERVAL !FTER A SLIGHTLY SLOW START THE ACTORS LED BY (ALEY &LAHERTY AS 2OXIE (ART SOON HIT THEIR STRIDE AND CONlDENCE ROCKETED AS A CONSEQUENCE LEADING TO AN EVEN MORE AC COMPLISHED PERFORMANCE %VEN A DELAY DUE TO A LIGHTING FAILURE WAS SOON FORGIVEN AS THE AUDIENCE WAS TREATED TO COMEDY IN THE COURTROOM TEARS AMONG TANTRUMS VIRTUOUS VOCALS AND A CHARISMATIC CONDUCTOR AMONG THE CIRCUMSTANCES EMERGING 6ISIBLE ON STAGE THROUGHOUT CONDUCTOR 2ALPH "URNS WAS OUTSTANDING AS HE TOOK CHARGE OF HIS BAND lRMLY PLACED BEHIND THE ACTING CAST THROUGHOUT (AVING MANAGED NOT TO MAKE ANY MISTAKES WITH LINES OR CHOREOGRAPHY THROUGHOUT THE PERFORMANCE THE ACTORS WILL BE DELIGHTED TO KNOW THEY ARE BACKED BY SUCH A BAND 0LAYING AT EXACTLY THE RIGHT TEMPO AND KEEPING TO THE RIGHT VOLUME AS WELL THE BAND AND THE CAST PROVIDED THE PERFECT FOIL FOR ONE ANOTHER WITH EXCELLENT CHEMISTRY /N THE BASIS OF THE OPENING NIGHT AT THE OPENING VENUE THERE IS CLEAR EVIDENCE TO SUGGEST THAT #HICAGO WILL BE JUST AS MASSIVE ON ITS NATIONWIDE TOUR AS IT HAS BEEN IN THE 7EST %ND -ATT 2AMSAY

5%! ,OVES "OOKS &ESTIVAL

"OOK 2EVIEWS

4HE 3HORTLIST IS HERE #HOOSE FROM THE LIST BELOW AND VOTE FOR

3ALMON &ISHING IN THE 9EMEN BY 0AUL 4ORDAY

YOUR FAVOURITE AT 5%! 7ATERSTONES 4HE (ITCHHIKERS 'UIDE TO THE 'ALAXY n $OUGLAS !DAMS 0RIDE AND 0REJUDICE n *ANE !USTEN "IRDSONG n 3EBASTIAN &AULKS #ATCH n *OSEPH (ELLER 4HE 5NBEARABLE ,IGHTNESS OF "EING n -ILAN +UNDERA 4O +ILL A -OCKINGBIRD n (ARPER ,EE .INETEEN %IGHTY &OUR n 'EORGE /RWELL (IS $ARK -ATERIALS n 0HILIP 0ULLMAN (ARRY 0OTTER n * + 2OWLING 4HE 'OD OF 3MALL 4HINGS n !RUNDHATI 2OY #ATCHER IN THE 2YE n * $ 3ALINGER &RANKENSTEIN n -ARY 3HELLEY 0ERFUME n 0ATRICK 3USKIND 4HE 3ECRET (ISTORY n $ONNA 4ARTT 4HE ,ORD OF THE 2INGS n * 2 2 4OLKEIN

THE EVENT

4AKING PLACE WITHIN TODAY S CONTROVERSIAL REALM OF "RITISH GOVERNMENTAL POLITICS AND SCIENCE 0AUL 4ORDAY S DEBUT NOVEL TACKLES ALMOST ALL OF THE MA JOR ISSUES FACING OUR FRAGILE WORLD IN THE ST CEN TURY 4ORDAY S CENTRAL PROTAGONIST !LFRED *ONES IS FORCED TO UNDERTAKE THE GIGANTIC AND FRANKLY LUDICROUS TASK OF PLACING SALMON IN THE RIVERS OF THE 9EMEN AND BECOMES THE NOVEL S UNLIKELY HERO IN BATTLING NOT ONLY IS SUES WITHIN HIS WORK HIERARCHY BUT ON A MORE PERSONAL LEVEL AS WELL %ACH CHARACTER S OPINION ON WORLD ISSUES IS DISTINCTLY CONSTRUCTED IN THE NARRATIVE THROUGH A SERIES OF MEDIA TRANSCRIPTS DIARY ENTRIES EMAILS MEMOS AND PHONE CALLS LEAAVING NO STONE UNTURNED 4HE NOVEL IS A CLASSIC TALE OF THE LITTLE THINGS WHICH MAKE THE BIG THINGS HAPPEN AND ALTHOUGH A RELATIVELY EASY READ IT IS FASCINATING AND ENJOYABLE )T GIVES A BEHIND THE SCENES GLANCE AT THE WORLDS OF THE MEDIA AND POLITICS PROVID ING US WITH CAUSE FOR GREATER SCEPTICAL DAMNATION &OR READERS WHO ARE POSSIBLY PUT OFF BY THE lSHING THEME BE AWARE THAT IT IS ONLY THE BASIS FOR A CONTRIBUTION TO THE ONGOING DEBATE ON TAC TICS WITHIN THE -IDDLE %AST )N THIS INTERESTING ACCESSIBLE AND RELATIVELY SIMPLE NOVEL WE ARE FORCED TO CONSIDER WHETHER 7ESTERNERS ARE IMPOSING THEIR CULTURAL TRADITIONS ON OTHERS OR WHETHER THEIR EFFORTS ARE A TACTFUL WAY OF BRIDGING THE GAP BETWEEN HOSTILE NATIONS #HLOE 0EW ,ATTER

4EACHING 4EECHERS

!RTS

7HAT REALLY GOES ON BEHIND THE SCENES OF A PLAY *ACK #LARKE DIVES IN AT THE DEEP END AND WATCHES THE $RAMA 3OCIETY S PRODUCTION OF 4EECHERS TAKE SHAPE

CTORS ARE MAD ) AM AFRAID OF ALL OF THEM 4HIS IS NOT A REVIEW EXPLORATION OR REVEALING ACCOUNT OF THE GOSSIP THAT GOES ON IN THE MAKING OF A PLAY )T IS IN FACT A VERY STUPID IDEA AND LIKE MANY OTHER STUPID IDEAS CAME OUT OF A COMBI NATION OF CONlDENCE ENTHUSIASM AND A RADICAL OVER ESTIMATION OF PERSONAL SKILL ) DECIDED TO DO A FEATURE BASED AROUND THE WAY THAT A PLAY IS PUT TOGETHER FROM INITIAL MEETINGS TO DRESS REHEARSALS ) THOUGHT THAT ) WOULD lND OUT MANY IN TERESTING THINGS AND BELIEVED THAT A GREAT SYSTEM WOULD BE REVEALED TO ME lNALLY ALLOWING ME TO ENTER THE INNER SANCTUM OF THE @THEATRE FACTORY THAT UNTIL VERY RECENTLY ) BELIEVED EXISTED ) WAS HOPE LESSLY AND TERRIFYINGLY WRONG (ERE ARE SOME CONCLUSIONS FROM SIT TING IN ON 'REYSKULL 0RODUCTIONS INTER PRETATION OF *OHN 'ODBER S ANARCHIC HI LARIOUS AND MOREISH PLAY 4EECHERS .UMBER /NE 5NTIL THE PLAY IS ON A STAGE UNDER GIANT LIGHTS AND BACKED BY PRETTY SOUNDS THE GENERAL IMPRESSION IS OF CHAOS .UMBER 4WO !CTORS ARE NOT GROWN IN PODS 4HEY ARE RELATIVELY NORMAL PEOPLE WHO ARE VERY GOOD AT DRIVING DIRECTORS IN SANE )N FACT THEY ARE A LOT LIKE PRECOCIOUS CHILDREN MINUS CHARM AND DIMPLES PLUS THE ABILITY TO EAT UP VAST TRACTS OF TIME WITH A LONG PROCESSION OF JOKES JAPES AND FUNNY ACCENTS 3OMETIMES DURING REHEARSALS THEY PAUSE TO SMELL EACH OTH ER S NECKS 4HIS IS GREATLY DISTURBING .UMBER 4HREE 4EECHERS IS A PLAY IN WHICH A SMALL NUMBER OF ACTORS PLAY A VAST NUMBER OF PEOPLE %ACH REHEARSAL FEATURES THE SAME FAMILIAR FACES SPEAKING WITH DIFFERENT ACCENTS AND WALKING WITH DIFFERENT STRIDES )T MAKES YOU FEEL DRUNK AND CONFUSED AND THIS WAS WORSENED FOR ME BECAUSE ) DELIBERATELY DIDN T READ THE PLAY WHILE WRITING THIS FEATURE BECAUSE ) WANTED NOT TO HAVE ANY BIAS ABOUT HOW ) THOUGHT THE PLAY SHOULD BE PUT TOGETH ER )F THE ACTORS WEREN T SO GOOD THEN THE EFFECT WOULDN T BE AS DISORIENTATING BUT UNFORTUNATELY THEY ALL SEEM TO HAVE A CAPACITY FOR THE PARTICULAR BREED OF SCHIZ OPHRENIA WHICH GREAT ACTING REQUIRES 7ATCHING 4EECHERS WITHOUT KNOWING THE GENERAL STORY ARC IS A LOT LIKE WATCHING A PLAY ABOUT PEOPLE PUTTING ON A PRODUC TION OF 4EECHERS n A PLAY WHICH DEALS WITH KIDS IN A SCHOOL PUTTING ON A PRODUCTION OF THEIR OWN 4HE POST MODERN IMPLICA TIONS ARE OBVIOUSLY QUITE TERRIFYING 4HE THING IS WHEN SITTING IN ON RE HEARSALS IDEALLY YOU RE NOTHING BUT A GREAT FAT EAR 9OU LISTEN TRANSCRIBE AND OCCASIONALLY CHUCKLE BUT THAT S ABOUT IT 3OMETIMES YOU GET TO HEAR SOME VERY FUNNY THINGS WHICH SEEM TO BE STRAIGHT OUT OF 0EEP 3HOW OR "RASS %YE %ARLY ON IN REHEARSALS AN ACTOR WAS REMINDED THAT h4HIS SCENE IS ALL ABOUT YOU AND THE PORNOv "ODY LANGUAGE WAS DISCUSSED

'RUNTING WAS PRACTISED 4HE DOWN SIDE TO BEING AN EAR IS THAT YOU DON T REALLY HAVE ANY PLACE TO SPEAK 3OMETIMES DURING REHEARSALS AN ACTOR GETS THEIR CHARACTER DEAD ON AND YOU WANT TO STAND UP AND SHOUT hSTOP HOLD IT RIGHT THERE THAT S PERFECT v /F COURSE YOU CAN T DO THIS BUT IT DOES MAKE YOU CONSIDER HOW THE ACTORS THEMSELVES COPE WITH IT 7HAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU PULL OFF A GREAT SCENE AND THEN A STRANGE MAN KNOWN AS THE DIRECTOR STANDS UP AND SAYS hTHAT WAS GREAT BUTxv /BVIOUSLY IT WOULD BE A FAUX PAS TO PUNCH THEM BUT ) M SURE THAT

h!CTORS ARE NOT GROWN IN PODS 4HEY ARE RELATIVELY NORMAL PEOPLE WHO ARE GOOD AT DRIVING DIRECTORS INSANE v

TOR NODDED AS THOUGH SOME GREAT TRUTH HAD BEEN REVEALED 4HIS GIVES MORE WEIGHT TO MY THEORY THAT REHEARSING A PLAY DESTROYS ANY SEMBLANCE OF COHERENT THOUGHT ! LARGE PROPORTION OF THE CHARACTERS ARE SARCASTIC FACETIOUS AND EASILY DISTRACTED STUDENTS MAKING YOU THINK THAT INSTEAD OF BOTHERING WITH REHEARSING YOU COULD JUST TRAIPSE ON STAGE WITH YOUR mATMATES AND TAKE THE PISS OUT OF EACH OTHER FOR TWO HOURS 7ITH A PLAY LIKE 4EECHERS YOU THINK THIS SORT OF THING AT lRST BECAUSE LIKE ME YOU ARE BEING HEROICALLY STUPID AND EVENTU ALLY YOU REALISE THAT IT S ALL ABOUT THE TONE THE LANGUAGE AND THE SPECIAL PLACE THAT THE ACTORS GROW TO INHABIT THAT DETERMINES THE PERFORMANCE n NOT THE WORDS ON THE PAGE 4HE JOB OF 'REYSKULL 0RODUCTIONS IS TO TAKE THE RAW MATERIALS AND RUTHLESSLY BEND THE SPARE PARTS INTO SHAPE UNTIL THEY lT )F THIS WAS A BAD PRODUCTION ) WOULD COMPARE THE RESULT TO THAT OF A JURY RIGGED GO KART "UT THANKS TO THE CAST S ENTHUSIASM AND THE PA TIENCE OF THE DIRECTORS AND PRODUCERS IT AP PEARS TO BE TAKING ON THE FORM OF A VERITABLE SPORTS CAR SMOOTH STREAMLINED AND SOME

THING WHICH ON THE OPENING NIGHT SHOULD GO VROOOOM 4EECHERS WILL BE ON AT 5%! $RAMA 3TUDIO FROM TH TH -ARCH

SOME OF THE TIME YOU D BE TEMPTED .O WONDER ALL ACTORS ARE PERMANENTLY MAD !LONG WITH BEING AN EAR YOU RE ALSO A PAIR OF EYES AND SOMETIMES YOU FEEL LIKE AN ANTHROPOLOGIST *ANE 'OODALL AMONG THE APES ET AL 9OU WATCH THE ACTORS IN HABIT THEIR CHARACTERS TO THE EXTENT THAT THEY START MIMICKING THEM ACCIDENTALLY !T ONE POINT ) WATCHED SOMEONE EAT A $AIRYLEA AS THE CHARACTER THEY WERE PLAY ING n A THUGGISH SCHOOL KID FEET WERE TAPPING AND CREAM CHEESE WAS LIBERALLY SMEARED ACROSS lNGERS AND FACE THEN ) SAW THE DIRECTOR BECOME A TEACHER HANDING OUT INSTRUCTIONS CULMINATING IN hxAND WIPE YOUR MOUTH *OHN v !T OTHER TIMES THE ACTORS GOT DISTRACTED &OR INSTANCE DURING ONE SCENE A MALE ACTOR FORGETS HIS LINES DUE TO THE MALFUNCTION ING SKIRT OF THE ACTOR PLAYING A GYM IN STRUCTOR 4HE BRAIN FRYING EFFECTS OF REHEARS ING A PLAY OCCASIONALLY BECOME VISIBLE )N ONE INSTANCE A CHARACTER WALKS FROM ONE SIDE OF THE STAGE TO THE OTHER AND MID SPEECH LAPSES OUT AND STARES AT THE DIRECTOR h) M OVER HERE )SN T IT WEIRD ) M OVER HERE v 4HEY HAVE A BLANK EXPRES SION AND APPEAR NONPLUSSED &ORTUNATELY THE THREADS ARE PICKED UP AND SOON THE PLAY IS BACK WITH ANOTHER CHARACTER GIV ING A SPEECH FEATURING THE LINE h3IR AS FAR AS ) KNOW GIBBON HEAD IS STILL LOCKED IN THE STOREROOMv "Y THIS POINT HAVING NOT READ THE PLAY ) WAS UTTERLY AND HOPE LESSLY CONFUSED AND COULD ONLY WATCH IN BEMUSEMENT AS ONE OF THE DIRECTORS OF FERED THEIR OBSERVATIONS ON THE SPEECH hIT S VERY FUNNY PARTICULARLY THE TIMES WHEN YOU SAY GIBBON OR HEADv 4HE AC

THE EVENT

0RIMETIME

,IFE ON -ARS ""# 4UESDAYS

)T S TIME FOR ANOTHER DOSE OF S COP SHOW DRAMA .O IT ISN T RE RUNS OF 4HE 3WEENEY OR 3TARSKY AND (UTCH IT S THE SECOND AND DEVASTATINGLY l NAL SERIES OF ,IFE /N -ARS THE COP SHOW WITH A DIFFERENCE &OR THOSE OF YOU WHO MISSED THE lRST SERIES AND OR THE OPENING TITLE SEQUENCE OF EVERY EPISODE NOT TO MENTION ALL THE ADS $) 3AM 4YLER *OHN 3IMM WAS HIT BY A CAR AND WOKE UP IN 3UBSEQUENTLY HIS LIFE HAS APPARENTLY HAD ALL THE HALLMARKS OF A COMA VICTIM FANTASY /R HAS IT 4HE GREAT THING ABOUT THIS PRO GRAMME IS THE COMBINATION OF S CREATIVE POLICING INVOLVING MANY HUMOROUS PUNCH UPS AND THE UN CERTAINTY ABOUT WHETHER 3AM S IN A COMA INSANE IN EITHER THE ST CENTURY OR THE S BACK IN TIME OR ALL OF THE AFOREMENTIONED OR POS

4OP

SIBLY EVEN IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE WHERE WEIRD THINGS HAPPEN TO COP PERS BUT LET S NOT GET CARRIED AWAY 4HIS SERIES KICKS OFF WITH AN IM PORTANT CASE FOR THE NOW WELL ESTAB LISHED DOUBLE ACT $#) 'ENE (UNT 0HILIP 'LENISTER AND 3AM WITH THEIR BEGRUDGING MUTUAL RESPECT FOR EACH OTHER BUT VERY DIFFERENT POLIC ING METHODS 4YLER BRINGS MODERN POLICING SKILLS INCLUDING hTHE STING ERv WHICH #)$ HAS BEGUN IMPLE MENTING AND A RELIANCE ON FOREN SICS WHEREAS (UNT GOES MORE ON INTUITION OR hGOOD OLD FASHIONED COPPERINGv INVOLVING A BIT OF FORCE -IXED WITH THE COMEDY IS OF COURSE THE DRAMA 3AM BECOMES INCREASINGLY MORE LIKE 'ENE AS HE ATTEMPTS A lT UP IN THE NAME OF JUSTICE )T S REALLY MORE OUT OF DES PERATION THOUGH AS A SHADOWY lG

46 TREATS TO WATCH THIS FORTNIGHT

"ALLS OF 3TEEL # &RI #OMEDIAN -ARK $OLAN HOSTS THE SECOND SERIES OF THIS CRAZY SHOW WHERE A TEAM OF COMEDIANS ATTEMPT DARING TASKS TO PROVE THEIR COURAGE AND WIN THE "ALLS OF 3TEEL TROPHY 7ITH GREAT CHARACTERS SUCH AS -ILITANT "LACK 'UY !NNOYING $EVIL AND -R )NAPPROPRIATE WHO TRIES HIS HAND AT SELLING DOUBLE GLAZING AT AM THIS SHOW IS A GREAT LAUGH ,IFE /N -ARS ""# 7ED *OIN COPPERS 4YLER AND (UNT IN THE ""# S BRILLIANT TIME TRAVEL DRAMA SERIES +ITCHEN &)6% 7ED n #OMEDIAN %DDIE )ZZARD STARS IN THIS NEW DRAMA SET IN A mASHY 'LASGOW RESTAURANT -ASTERCHEF 'OES ,ARGE ""# 7EEKDAYS n 4AKE AWAY THE ANNOYING VOICE OF ,OYD 'ROSSMAN REPLACE HIM WITH TWO HIP NEW CHEFS AND WHAT DO YOU GET ! COOKERY SHOW WE JUST CAN T GET ENOUGH OF $RAGON S $EN ""# 7ED n !FTER THE @REGGAE REGGAE SAUCE EPISODE IT JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER AND BETTER

URE IS STANDING OVER 3AM S HOSPITAL BED IN THE PRESENT A lGURE ALSO FROM AND TIME IS LIMITED FOR THE VULNERABLE 3AM AND OTHERS )T S VERY WELL RECREATED JUST WATCH IT WITH ANYONE WHO RE MEMBERS THE S DOWN TO THE GROOVY CLOTHES SMOKE CHOKED OF lCE AND SEXIST BEHAVIOUR TOWARDS 70#S WHOSE MAIN FUNCTION IS MAKING TEA ! BLOW IS STRUCK FOR WOMEN HOWEVER WITH THE AD VENT OF -ANCHESTER S lRST FEMALE #)$ OFlCER !NNIE #ARTRIGHT ,IZ 7HITE 3AM S LOVE INTEREST DE SPITE HAVING A GIRLFRIEND IN !S USUAL IT S A QUESTION OF IF AND WHEN THEY ARE GOING TO GET TOGETHER 4HE TEAM WORKS WELL TOGETHER DESPITE A FEW NEW TENSIONS WITH !NNIE AND THE lRST BLACK OFlCER IN CIDENTALLY A YOUNG 3AM S MENTOR

JOINING AS UNDERLINGS BUT IT S CLEAR WHY (UNT AND 4YLER RULE THE ROOST BEING THE ENTERTAINING DUO THAT THEY ARE "OTH 'LENISTER AND 3IMM ARE BRILLIANT IN THEIR ROLES 'LENISTER IS WONDERFUL AS A WITTY NO NONSENSE COPPER WHO APPEARS GRUFF BUT HAS A HEART UNDERNEATH A CHANGE FROM THE NICE CHARACTERS HE OFTEN PLAYS WHO ARE MAINLY OBJECTS OF SYM PATHY )T S ALSO GREAT TO SEE 3IMM EXERCISING HIS COMEDIC TALENTS IN

CONTRAST TO MORE TRAGIC CHARACTERS SUCH AS $OSTOYEVSKY S 2ASKOLNIKOV 4HE WRITERS HAVE DONE A GREAT JOB KEEPING UP THE SUSPENSE AND GIVING CONmICTING EVIDENCE ABOUT WHAT S REALLY GOING ON SO VIEW ERS ARE CONTINUALLY ASKING QUES TIONS )F IN A COMA 3AM S LIFE DEPENDS ON WAKING SOON BUT IF HE S CHANGING THINGS IN THE PAST WHAT S HAPPENED TO THE PRESENT (OLLY #URTIS

46 #LASSICS "LACK "OOKS &EW AURAS ARE MORE CURIOUS THAN THAT WHICH STALKS THE MUSTY SHELVES OF SECOND HAND BOOKSHOPS YOU GET THE FEELING IT S A PLACE WHERE THINGS GO TO DIE AN ELEPHANT S GRAVEYARD OF BATHWATER WRINKLED PAGES ORGANISED THEMATICALLY ALPHABETICALLY AND TERMINALLY !ND IT S NOT JUST THE BOOKS THEMSELVES 4HE EMPLOYEES TOO ARE RELICS WITH THE LOOK OF SOMETHING ONCE REFUSED BY SOCIETY ABOUT THEM /K SO THAT S A MELODRAMATIC AND SLIGHTLY OFFENSIVE VISION OF THE @TYPICAL SECOND HAND BOOK SHOP BUT IT S A STEREOTYPE PLAYED ON BY #HANNEL COMEDY SERIES "LACK "OOKS TO GREAT EFFECT "ERNARD "LACK THE EPONYMOUS OWNER PLAYED BY $YLAN -ORAN IS A SOLIPSISTIC MISANTHROPE

WITH THE HINT OF A SOFT SIDE BUT A MORE COMMON TENDENCY TO HIT TRIP OR STAPLE HIS PUT UPON UNDERLING -ANNY BEARDY COMIC "ILL "AILEY A CHARACTER WITH ALL THE DRESS SENSE OF A MANICALLY DEPRESSED (AWAIIAN &RAN 4AMSIN 'REIG OWNS THE SHOP NEXT DOOR AND IS "ERNARD S ACCOMPLICE IN BINGE DRINKING CHAIN SMOKING BITTER TIRADES AND OCCASIONAL SELF LOATHING -ORAN CO WROTE THE SHOW THROUGHOUT ITS THREE SERIES RUN AND WAS JOINED BY 'RAHAM ,INEHAM FOR THE lRST TWO 4HE )RISH PAIR CONSTRUCT JOKES WHICH RUN FROM WITTY ONE LINERS TO AWE INSPIRING PUT DOWNS SUCH AS WHEN -ANNY DISTRACTEDLY ASKS "ERNARD IF HE SHOULD WASH HIS BEARD "ERNARD REPLIES WITHOUT EVEN

GLANCING UP FROM HIS BOOK h9ES -ANNY ) THINK YOU SHOULD 4HEN YOU SHOULD CUT IT OFF NAIL IT TO A &RISBEE AND mING IT OVER A RAINBOWv /N TOP OF THE SLAPSTICK THE SHOW ALSO HAS ITS FAIR SHARE OF ABSURD SCENES THE CHILD ENGORGING SOFA AND @TOWER OF SOUP HAVE TO BE SEEN TO BE BELIEVED )T HAS SOME GREAT CAMEOS INCLUDING 3IMON 0EGG $AVID 7ALLIAMS AND /LIVIA #OLEMAN 3OPHIE FROM 0EEP 3HOW )F THIS TERM YOU lND YOURSELF DISTRAUGHT AT THE IMPENDING DOOM OF THE SECOND HAND BOOKSHOP ON CAMPUS OR AND LETS FACE IT THIS IS MORE LIKELY JUST WANT AN ALTERNATIVE QUIET NIGHT IN WITH A BOTTLE OF WINE THEN "LACK "OOKS IS FOR YOU 3IMON -URPHY

.EIGHBOURS $6$ #ORNER *ANAE S NEW BOSS THE CREEPY CAR MECHANIC 2EX FORCES HER TO WEAR A REVEALING YELLOW OUTlT AND CLEAN CARS OUT THE FRONT RATHER THAN ACTUALLY WORKING ON AN ENGINE !FTER ATTEMPTING TO BUY HER ALCOHOL WITHOUT HER KNOWLEDGE AT THE 3CARLET "AR 7ILL TRIES TO WARN *ANAE OFF BUT SHE CAN T SEE HIM BEING MORE THAN A FRIENDLY BOSS (OWEVER WHEN SHE CATCHES 2EX EYEING HER UP SHE CONFRONTS HIM BUT HE ACCUSES HER OF LEADING HIM ON AND LOCKS HER IN HIS OFlCE 3TEIGER RESCUES *ANAE BUT 2EX DECIDES TO PRESS ASSAULT CHARGES 4OADIE RECEIVES THE ALL CLEAR FROM HIS CANCER BIOPSY AS 3TEPH DECIDES SHE WANTS TO BE MORE THAN JUST FRIENDS "UT HE REJECTS HER ADVANCES BECAUSE HE KNOWS SHE STILL LOVES -AX -ISCHKA FAILS TO GET A VISA AFTER TRYING TO BRIBE THE GOVERNMENT OFlCIALS AND ENDS UP BEING DEPORTED ,OU GETS A JOB AS A mIGHT ATTENDANT TO BE REUNITED WITH HER 3KY DROPS THE COURT CASE AGAINST $R +ARL AND 3TINGRAY AND $YLAN BOND OVER BABY +ERRY THOUGH $YLAN S NEW FOUND DISGUST WITH 0AUL 2OBINSON MAKES %LLE REALISE SHE CAN T STAND UP TO HIM FOR FEAR OF LOSING HIM +IERA / "RIEN

THE EVENT

.ARUTO 3ERIES a /UT .OW

#REATED BY -ASASHI +ISHIMOTO .ARUTO HAS BECOME A HUGE PHENOMENON IN *APAN AND IS DOING THE SAME WORLD WIDE !T lRST IT APPEARS NOTHING MORE THAN A TYPICAL 3HOUNEN ANIME BUT THE SEEMINGLY STRAIGHTFORWARD PREMISE OF .ARUTO IS DECEIVING AND BELOW IT HIDES A BRILLIANT SERIES 4HE SHOW IS CENTRED AROUND A LOUD HYPERACTIVE YOUNG NINJA WHO ASPIRES TO BECOME THE NEXT (OKAGE THE STRONGEST NINJA AND LEADER OF THE VILLAGE OF +ONOHA /RPHANED AT BIRTH .ARUTO 5ZUMAKI ALWAYS FELT LIKE AN OUTSIDER AND PEOPLE FROM HIS VILLAGE TREATED HIM WITH GREAT

DISTINCTION (OWEVER .ARUTO HAD A SECRET THAT EVEN HE DIDN T KNOW ABOUT 4WELVE YEARS AGO A DEMON NINE TAILED FOX ALMOST DESTROYED HIS VILLAGE AND IN ORDER TO SAVE IT THE SPIRIT OF THE BEAST WAS SEALED IN A CHILD 4HAT CHILD WAS .ARUTO ,ONELY AND CONFUSED .ARUTO CONTINUOUSLY SEARCHES FOR RESPECT APPROVAL AND RECOGNITION 4HINGS DON T ALWAYS GO ACCORDING TO PLAN BUT AS WE WATCH .ARUTO S FRUSTRATION GROW WE SEE HIS STRENGTHS MATURE AND DEVELOP (IS PENCHANT FOR MISCHIEF IS COMICAL AND HIS ATTENTION SEEKING LEADS HIM TO BECOME THE CHIEF PRANKSTER OF THE VILLAGE 4HE

@SEXY JUTSU FOR INSTANCE IS ONE OF THE UNUSUALTECHNIQUESHEHASDEVELOPED 7HEN .ARUTO lNALLY JOINS A NINJA SQUAD AN EXCITING LOVE TRIANGLE EMERGES (OWEVER .ARUTO S LOVE FOR 3AKURAISSADLYQUELLEDBYHERINSISTENT PERUSAL OF 3ASUKE THE INFAMOUS GENIUS OF THE NOBLE 5CHIHA CLAN 4HE DUBBING THROUGHOUT THE SERIES LEAVES MUCH TO BE DESIRED AND IF YOU ARE A TRUE ANIME FAN THIS WILL PROBABLY DISAPPOINT YOU .EVERTHELESS YOU HAVE GOT TO WATCH THIShNUMBERONEKNUCKLEHEADNINJAv ATTEMPTTOBECOMETHENEXTBESTTHING BECAUSE .ARUTO IS DElNITELY JUST THAT !MANDA ,IM

#ANDID #AMERA )T HAS LURED SEX OFFENDERS TO SUBURBAN NEIGHBOURHOODS AND WAS A RATINGS HIT IN THE 53 2OBERT *ACKMAN TAKES A LOOK AT THE WORRYING 4O #ATCH ! 0REDATOR

THE NEXT IMPORT SHOW THAT COULD BE ON ITS WAY TO OUR SCREENS

HEN IT COMES TO GAME SHOWS IT IS HARDLY THE MOST COMPLI CATED OF CON TESTS )NDEED IT SCREAMS SIMPLICITY ) DARESAY IT COULD BE PLAYED WITH A COLLECTION OF SHOE BOXES AND A TOY PHONE "UT THIS HASN T STOPPED $EAL /R .O $EAL FROM ACHIEVING WORLDWIDE SUCCESS (ERE IN THE 5+ THOUSANDS OF US TUNE IN EVERY AFTERNOON TO WATCH THIS BI ZARRE GALA OF GUESSWORK 4HE SHOW IS EVERYWHERE EVEN THE PHRASE @DEAL OR NO DEAL HAS INlLTRATED OUR POPULAR SPEECH "UT TO REALLY GRASP THE IN TRIGUE OF THE SHOW ONE HAS TO THINK OUTSIDE THE BOXES /NE HAS TO LOOK TO THE DEALS BEHIND $EAL /R .O $EAL 4HE SHOW S INCREDIBLE RISE TO POWER BEGAN WITH THE BOARDROOM SCRIBBLES OF $UTCH MEDIA COMPANY %NDEMOL THE /PUS $EI OF THE GAME SHOW WORLD 3INCE THEN THE FORMAT HAS BEEN EXPORTED TO OVER COUN TRIES 9ES COUNTRIES n ASTOUNDING ISN T IT /N EVERY CONTINENT YOU WILL lND CONTESTANTS AND BOXES ON THE SCREENS !ND WHILE YOU MAY STRUGGLE TO BOARD A BUS IN 3WITZERLAND OR OR DER A MEAL IN 4UNISIA YOU D HAVE NO PROBLEMS JOINING IN ON A QUICK BOUT OF $EAL /R .O $EAL )T HAS BECOME AN INTERNATIONAL LANGUAGE !S INTERESTING AS IT MAY BE THE $EAL /R .O $EAL CASE STUDY IS FAR FROM UNIQUE ON THE CONTRARY IT IS TYPICAL 4ELEVISION HAS BECOME A BUSINESS 4HE DOLLAR DICTATES OUR VIEWING 4RANSAC TIONS GOVERN OUR TRANSMISSIONS 4EL EVISION CHANNELS COVET SIMPLE CHEAP YET POPULAR SHOWS AND MEDIA COM PANIES ENDEAVOUR TO PROVIDE THEM n AT A PRICE #HEAP SHOWS THAT HAVE ENTICED VIEWS IN ONE COUNTRY SOON SPREAD WORLDWIDE IN A FRENZY OF BID DING AND BUYING !FTER CONJURING UP THE LUCRATIVE DEAL FORMULA %NDEMOL WERE SOON SWAMPED WITH OFFERS FROM TELEVISION CHANNELS ACROSS THE GLOBE DESPERATE TO IMPORT THE SHOW &OR %NDEMOL THE RISKS WERE MINUTE AND THE MONEY WAS HUGE n IT S NO SURPRISE THAT THEY SAID DEAL !ND IF WE LL LEND OUR EARS TO THE TONGUES OF RUMOUR THEN THE LATEST LOT IN THIS MULTIMEDIA AUCTION IS !MERI CA S ABOMINABLE 4O #ATCH ! 0REDATOR 3OMEWHERE BETWEEN *EREMY "EADLE AND 3TRAW $OGS THE SHOW WAS CON CEIVED IN A DESPERATE ATTEMPT BY ."# TO SAVE THEIR ANAEMIC AND AILING CUR RENT AFFAIRS SHOW $ATELINE 4HE IDEA WAS SIMPLE $ATELINE STAFF WOULD SURF

4O #ATCH A 0REDATOR HOST #HRIS (ANSEN

MEN CHARGED AS PART OF -UG SHOTS OF THE lFTY DATOR $ATELINE S 4O #ATCH ! 0RE

THEIR WAY INTO INTERNET CHAT ROOMS AND RIDE THE INEVITABLE TIDES OF SMUT 0OSING AS AND YEAR OLDS THE $ATELINERS WOULD WAIT FOR THE SHADY SUGGESTIONS OF SWEATY PALMED CYBER SLEAZEBAGS 3OON INNUENDOS MORPH INTO INVITATIONS AND THE @CHILD PRE TENDING TO BE HOME ALONE AND EAGER TO EXPERIMENT INVITES THE @PREDATOR OVER TO THEIR HOUSE QUICKER THAN YOU CAN COUGH THE WORD @ENTRAPMENT 4HE DIRTY MINDED VILLAINS ENTER THE HOUSE THEY COLLIDE WITH CLEAN CUT VIGILANTE HOST #HRIS (ANSEN (E S SMUG SARDONIC AND FERVENT WITH RIGHTEOUS RAGE 4HERE S NOTHING @LIBER AL ABOUT (ANSEN n EXCEPT OF COURSE HIS MORE THAN GENEROUS DISTRIBUTION OF WITTY LINES AS HE STROLLS IN TO lND THE lEND SITTING AT HIS KITCHEN TA BLE 4HIS IS WHERE PREDATOR BECOMES PREY AS (ANSEN TORTURES AND TAUNTS THE ALLEGED DEVIANTS BEFORE HAND ING OVER THEIR DEMORALISED SHELLS TO THE LOCAL LAW ENFORCEMENT TEAM 9ES EVEN !MERICA S POLICE FORCE IS lRMLY BEHIND 4O #ATCH ! 0REDATOR !FTER FOUR RUNS THE SHOW HAS RESULTED IN OVER A ARRESTS AND DOZENS OF CONVIC TIONS 4HE POLICE AREN T THE ONLY ONES VOCAL IN THEIR SUPPORT %VEN FORMER

CONGRESSMAN -ARK &OLEY HAS PRAISED THE SHOW FOR DOING MORE TO KEEP CHILDREN SAFE ON THE INTERNET hTHAN ANY LAW WE HAVEv n ALTHOUGH WHETH ER HE FEELS DIFFERENT AFTER HIS OWN EXPOSURE REMAINS TO BE SEEN (OW EVER THOSE NOT DIZZIED BY THE MORAL HIGH GROUND OR DRUNK ON THE RUBY RED RUSH OF MOB JUSTICE EXPRESS THEIR CONCERNS ABOUT THE SHOW 4HE SHOW S LESS CELEBRATED ACHIEVEMENTS INCLUDE LURING STRINGS OF SEX OFFENDERS TO SUB URBAN NEIGHBOURHOODS AND DRIV ING A LAWYER CAUGHT IN ONE OF THEIR TELEVISED STINGS TO SUICIDE 4HE SHOW ALSO PREJUDICES A CHANCE OF CONVIC TION BY EXPOSING THE IDENTITIES OF THE PREDATORS MONTHS BEFORE ANY POSSI BLE COURT CASE "UT IT IS THE RATINGS AND NOT THE BERATING WHICH WILL CATCH THE ATTEN TION OF TELEVISION EXECUTIVES 4HAT S THE RULE IN THIS TRADE LOOK TO THE RAT INGS AND NOT THE CONTENT 4AKE 7HO 7ANTS 4O "E ! -ILLIONAIRE IT S LITTLE MORE THAN A TELEVISED PUB QUIZ BUT WITH A MYSTERIOUS ALLURE IT ATTRACTS MILLION STRONG AUDIENCES 3O WHAT HOPE DO WE HAVE 7ELL WHILE TELEVISION EXECUTIVES MAY BE SALIVATING AT THE THOUGHT OF THIS MOB MENTALITY MUST WATCH SURELY THE

4HE SHOW S LESS CELEBRATED ACHIEVE MENTS INCLUDE LUR ING STRINGS OF SEX OFFENDERS TO SUB URBAN NEIGHBOUR HOODS AND DRIVING A LAWYER CAUGHT IN ONE OF THEIR TEL EVISED STINGS TO SUICIDE

5+ POLICE WILL BE A LITTLE LESS ENTHU SIASTIC 3ADLY NOT n IN AN INTERVIEW WITH )46 S 4ONIGHT PROGRAMME *IM 'AMBLE HEAD OF THE #HILD %XPLOI TATION AND /NLINE 0ROTECTION #EN TRE #%/0 ARGUED THAT SUCH A PRO GRAMME COULD BE OF REAL BENElT TO THE 5+ PROVIDED IT WERE hCONSTRUC TIVELY SENSIBLY AND SENSITIVELY MAN AGED v "UT SURELY ANY HOPE OF THIS IS DROWNED BY THE THOUGHT OF TELEVISING SUCH AN OPERATION 4HE GOAL OF THE #%/0 IS TO PROTECT CHILDREN FROM EXPLOITATION THE GOAL OF TELEVISION CHANNELS IS TO PRODUCE ENTERTAINING AND OFTEN EXPLOITATIVE PROGRAMMES n SURELY THERE S NO WAY THE GOALS CAN BE RECONCILED )T S PRETTY HARD TO BE OPTIMISTIC ABOUT TELEVISION S CONSCIENCE BUT HERE S TO HOPING THAT JUST FOR ONCE MEDIA COMPANIES WORLDWIDE WILL LISTEN TO THAT SMALL VOICE OF CAUTION INSIDE THEM (ERE S TO HOPING THAT THEY PUT SAFETY lRST AND SHOOT DOWN THIS DESPICABLE MOB JOB BEFORE IT CAN CROSS THE !TLANTIC )T IS NOT HARD TO STOP THE SPREAD OF THIS WITCH HUNT 7HEN INVITED TO BID ON 4O #ATCH ! 0REDATOR ALL TELEVISION CHANNELS NEED DO IS UTTER THOSE SIMPLE INTERNATION ALLY RECOGNISED WORDS n NO DEAL

THE EVENT

#REATIVE 7RITING

0/%429

02/3%

0,!93

4HE -AKING OF %VE

$EEP "LUE

4APESTRY OF &EAR

-ADE FROM BRONZE SHE CRIES IN HER DISGRACE 3HE CHASED A SNAKE 4O SEE THE EVIL IN HIS FACE 3HE TASTED BLOOD THE DAY SHE ATE WITH SIN "ENEATH THE BLOOD RED SKIES SHE HID FROM HIM

h$REAMS OF TRAINS AND TUNNELS AND BANANAS v

$/..9 ENTERS THE STAGE WITH A FUNNY WALK WEARING LONG JOHNS (E FEELS ABOUT INSIDE HIS BOWLER HAT PEERS INTO IT THEN SHAKES IT

-ADE FROM STONE -ARBLE SKIN ! COLD EMBRACE TO HOLD HER DAUGHTERS IN 3HE HAS THEM ALL IN HER HANDS 4HE MOTHER SOULS OF COUNTLESS LANDS 6ENUS IN HER PRIDE AND POWER 2APUNSAL IN HER GOLDEN TOWER (ELEN THREW DOWN EMPIRES AT HER FEET -EN WITH DISDAIN THEIR LIVES DID TREAT 4O WIN HER *ULIET WAS DOOMED TO DIE $ROWNING IN HER LOVERS CRY -ARY BORE THE BURDEN WELL %VE WITH A LITTLE APPLE FELL 3HE KISSED A SNAKE 3HE TASTED BLOOD 4HE DAY SHE ATE WITH HIM "ENEATH THE BLOOD RED SKIES SHE RAN FROM SIN )N FEAR SHE HID HER BODY IN THE DARK (OW COULD A PIECE OF FRUIT LEAVE SUCH A MARK "Y ,ETITIA -CKIE

-Y &RIEND 3AM (E DRINKS AND HE SWALLOWS "UT IT S THE BEER THAT SWALLOWS HIM 0OISONING VEINS POLLUTING THE MIND (E BECOMES INCAPACITATED $AYS ROLL INTO ONE ,ONG INCOHERENT WASTE OF TIME &OREVER SUBMITTING TO THE COERCION (IS FACE BARES FRESH WOUNDS /F ORIGINS UNKNOWN IRRELEVANT )NEXPLICABLY EXHAUSTED HE PANTS "ODY BOASTING A FAMILIAR LINGERING PUNGENCY

) WENT OUT CLOTHES SHOPPING WITH YOU TODAY 5NDER THE SOFT FOCUSED LIGHTS OF THE SHOP mOOR ) WATCHED YOU mUTTER FROM RACK TO RACK WATCHED YOU GLANCE THE CASHMERES AND COTTON COATS WITH YOUR lNGERTIPS &ROM THE COMFY CHAIRS ) SAW YOU WRAPPING SCARF S AROUND YOUR BODY SAW YOU LEAN ING YOUR WATERCOLOUR BLUE EYES INTO MINE AS IF TO SAY h) M A LOCK BUT ) DON T THINK YOU LL TRADE FOR THE KEYxv ) DON T KNOW IF THAT S ENTIRELY TRUE THOUGH IN FACT ) THINK ) MIGHT HAVE BEEN FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU THINK ) MIGHT HAVE BEEN FALLING IN SOMETHING AT LEAST n WHAT WITH YOU LEAVING THAT BIG HOLE IN THE WAY OF MY PATH WHETHER YOU KNEW IT OR NOT n BUT THEN THERE S ALWAYS THE QUESTION OF WHETHER IT S RIGHT FOR ME TO TRY TO WHETHER YOU WE ) REALLY WANT TO WHETHER ) DON T JUST FEEL ) SHOULD DO 9OU ASKED FOR MY OPINION ON A CHEQUERED GREY COAT WITH A BIG COLLAR 0ERFUNCTORILY YOU PUSHED THE PALMS OF YOUR HANDS INTO ITS SLEEVES AND ASKED ME h7HAT SAY YOU v ) TOLD YOU IT WAS hHEARTBREAKINGv n BUT IT WAS ONLY A COAT #OATS DON T BREAK YOUR HEART ) HATE SAYING TRAGIC THINGS LIKE THAT 4HAT COAT DID LOOK GOOD ON YOU THOUGH ) DON T THINK ) TOLD YOU THAT )T HAD YOUR KIND OF BLUE IN IT THAT SHADE OF LAPIS LAZULI THAT BRINGS OUT YOUR EYES AND AT THAT MOMENT ) IMAGINED YOU IN LOTS OF BLUE 3EQUENTIALLY MY MIND PASSED THROUGH TABLEAUX S OF YOU IN BLUE SCARFS BLUE BLOUSES BLUE BANGLES AND SAPPHIRE NECKLACES ) THOUGHT OF ALL THE PLACES ) COULD SEE YOU WEARING THAT ONE COLOUR AND HOW ) D LIKE TO TAKE YOU TO THEM BUT DIDN T KNOW IF YOU D WANT TO LET ME ) WISHED YOU COULD HAVE SEEN YOURSELF IN MY EYES BECAUSE IN YOUR BLUE YOU REALLY DID LOOK LIKE SOMETHING )T SEEMED SO GOOD TO ME THAT ) WANTED TO WRITE A POEM ABOUT IT ) M NOT SURE IF YOU D HAVE LIKED IT THOUGH )T WOULD PROBABLY HAVE BEEN TOO WISHY WASHY AND HAD LINES LIKE hAND HER EYES WERE GLOWING LIKE SWIMMING POOLS LIT UP UNDER A #ALIFORNIAN .IGHT 3KYxv AND SO ) DIDN T WRITE IT )NSTEAD ) WATCHED YOU TRY ON A PAIR OF %MILIA %ARHART GLOVES AND A PAIR OF BOOTS ) WATCHED YOU "UT NOW ) M FED UP OF WATCHING "Y 2 4HANATOS

(ALF IN 3YMPATHY

!ND AT THE SUMMIT OF THE TEMPLE THE JADE KNIFE IN YOUR CHEST DID YOU FEEL THE CHACMOOL HARD AND COLD BENDING YOUR BACK WERE YOU AWARE OF THE EYES UPON YOU WAITINGn THE SILENCE ATTENDING YOUR RAGGED BREATH AND THE GOD OF DEATH -ICLANTACUHTLI HIS WIDE GRIN THE EXPOSED RIBCAGEn OR WAS THAT LOST IN YOUR STRUGGLES TO INHALE THE BLOOD RISING UP THE PRIEST WITH HIS TIRED EYES DIGGING PATIENTLY FOR YOUR HEART "Y -EGHAN 0URVIS

"Y 3OPHIE 0LAYLE

"Y *OHN -UTCH

4ENOCHTITLAN

THE EVENT

$/..9 ,OOKS OVER AT 3#(2/%$%2 AND &2!.+,). .O .OT TODAY ) VE GOT THINGS TO DO ) DON T QUITE FEEL IT YET "USY BUSY BUSY $/..9 EXITS 3#(2/%$%2 AND &2!.+,). LOOK CONFUSED 0AUSE &2!.+,). %XCUSE ME 3#(2/%$%2 9ES &2!.+,). ) M FRIGHTENED 3#(2/%$%2 3ORRY &2!.+,). ) M FRIGHTENED 3LIGHT 0AUSE 3#(2/%$%2 5Hx 0UZZLED EXPRESSION &2!.+,). ) M SUPPOSED TO TELL SOMEONE YOU KNOW 'ET THE BURDEN OFF MY CHEST SO THAT ) CAN BREATHE AGAIN )F ) CONFESS IT NAME IT AND PUT IT INTO WORDS THEN ) CAN BEGIN TO HEAL -Y WOUNDS OF FEAR CAN BEGIN TO HEAL ) ) JUST DON T WANT IT TO TAKE POSSESSION OF MY WHOLE LIFE ANYMORE 9OU DON T MIND DO YOU 3#(2/%$%2 .OxOF COURSE NOT &2!.+,). 4HANK YOU SO MUCH ) DON T WANT TO INTRUDE OR ANYTHING 3#(2/%$%2 .OT AT ALL &2!.+,). 4HANK YOU 0AUSE

) CLOSE MY EYES AND DREAM THAT ) AM DEAD -Y mESH IS LEATHER GREY AND COLD MY VISION BLURRED WITH MILKY WHITE ) SINK INTO THE WATER n CONSUMED BY THE SEDUCTIVE LIQUID CARESS ) FEEL IT SOFTLY DOWN MY ARMx !ND WITH A WAKING HAZE ) REMEMBER YOU ARE THERE 9OUR HAND ONCE SMOOTH NOW ROUGH WITH WORK AND AGE GENTLY STROKES MY SHIVERING SKIN ) FEEL YOU PRESS AGAINST MY BACK OUR BOD IES CURVED AS ONE 9OUR BREATH IS WARM AGAINST MY NECK n MY TONGUE ROLLS OVER MY LIPS AS ) TREMBLE IN MELANCHOLY DELIGHT 4HE LIFE YOU REPRESENT SEDUCES ME 4HE STUBBLE ON YOUR FACE HARSH AGAINST MY mESH IS PART OF YOUR IMPERFECT HUMANITY 9OUR EYES ETCHED WITH LINES OF FORTY YEARS ARE SO HONEST IN THEIR SHIELDS YOU LOCK YOUR PAIN AWAY TRAP IT INSIDE YOUR MORTALITY YET ) SEE THROUGH YOUR STONE GREY EYES LIKE KEYHOLES AND ONLY GLIMPSE AT WHAT S BEYOND ) KNOW MY EYES ARE THE SAME !ND THAT S WHY YOU RE HERE WITH ME NOW YOU WOULD NOT HAVE CHOSEN ME IF YOU HADN T SEEN IT 9OUR BREATHING IS SLOW IN A DREAMING STATE ) KNOW YOU FALL INTO THE SAME WATERS DREAMING OF THE SAME SULLIED mESH ) WAS ALONE 9OU KNEW MY ISOLATION (ALF IN SYMPATHY YOU FEED MY NEED !ND ) SATIATED YOURS "UT WE RE THE SAME SIDE OF DIFFERENT COINS 3YMPATHY AND PAIN CAN T FEED OFF ONE ANOTHER 7E DON T POSSES ENOUGH LIFE TO SUSTAIN US BOTH

(E RESIGNS TO HIS HEREDITARY PATH /NE SET IN STONE BY GENERATIONS ! ROAD OF SORROW DESPAIR DEFEAT

-EANWHILE 3#(2/%$%2 ENTERS CENTRE STAGE CARRYING WHAT SEEMS TO BE A BUS STOP SIGN /NCE SATISlED WITH THE POSITION OF THE STOP HE BEGINS TO SCRUTINIZE SEVERAL SHEETS OF PAPER &2!.+ ,). ENTERS

3#(2/%$%2 7HAT IS IT THAT YOU RE SO FRIGHTENED OF &2!.+,). ) M NOT EXACTLY SURE 3#(2/%$%2 /H &2!.+,). 7HICH IS FRIGHTENING DON T YOU THINK 3#(2/%$%2 9ES &2!.+,). 9OU DO 3#(2/%$%2 9ES YES ) DO &2!.+,). !ND BECAUSE OF THIS ) HAVEN T BEEN SLEEPING MUCH EITHER %VERY TIME ) CLOSE MY EYES AND TRY TO SLEEP THE WORLD STARTS SPINNING 7HICH IS IRONIC ) MEAN BECAUSE THAT S WHAT IT S DOING RIGHT 3PINNING 3#(2/%$%2 9ES ; = "Y )MAN 3ID

3END IN YOUR 0S 0OETRY 0ROSE AND 0LAYS %MAIL YOUR STUFF TO )MAN 3ID AT CONCRETE CREATIVEWRITING UEA AC UK

&EATURE

MANSK RT )T TAKES A REAL MAN TO WEAR A SKIRT OR DOES IT !LANNAH 7ELLS TAKES A LOOK AT THE ISSUES SURROUNDING GENDER AND FASHION

HROUGHOUT THE PAST MONTHS WE HAVE SEEN THE EMERGENCE OF NUMEROUS WEIRD AND WONDERFUL FASH ION WHIMS FROM THE OH SO POPULAR SKINNY LEGGED TIGHT JEANS THROUGH TO THE MORE OBSCURELY FORE SEEN TURBANS THAT WE SHALL BE DONNING THIS SUMMER (OWEVER IT HAS OFTEN BE WILDERED ME THIS PROBABLY SAYS MORE ABOUT ME THAN YOU THAT ONE OF THE MOST COMMONLY WORN FASHION ITEMS THE SKIRT HAS NOT BEEN SNAPPED UP BY YOU YOUNG FASHION CONSCIOUS MEN OUT THERE 2EBELLION IT APPEARS IS THE NEW CONVENTION SO MORE NEEDS TO BE DONE TO HELP MEN DROP THEIR GENDER CONSTRICTING TROUSERS AND SHIMMY INTO THE MANSKIRT #ONVENTION IS THERE TO BE CHALLENGED AND THE EMERGENCE OF THE MANSKIRT IS JUST ONE STEP TOWARDS CREATING THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY FOR MEN TO GET ON THE SAME PATH OF EQUAL ITY AS US WOMEN )F YOU READ THE FEATURE ON METRO SEXUALITY ON THIS WEEK S FASHION PAGES THEN YOU WILL HAVE PROBABLY NOTICED THAT MEN ARE BECOMING INCREASINGLY OPEN TO TYPICALLY FEMALE FASHION FROM GROOMING PRODUCTS TO COLOURS OF CLOTHING SUCH AS PINK )T HAS BECOME COMMON PRACTICE FOR MEN TO OWN A PAIR OF STRAIGHTENERS USUALLY A PAIR THAT ARE BETTER THAN THE GIRLS 4HE RISE OF THE METROSEXUAL HAS OPENED UP A PLETHORA OF GROOMING BUSINESSES FOR THE MALE POPULATION !S THE WOM EN S BEAUTY INDUSTRY HAS A TURNOVER IN EXCESS OF a BILLION A YEAR IT IS NO SURPRISE AND A LONG AWAITED MARKET ING VENTURE FOR COMPANIES TO INVEST IN MEN 3ALES OF SKINCARE PRODUCTS FOR MEN HAVE INCREASED BY OVER IN THE LAST lVE YEARS AND MANY COMPA NIES HAVE TAKEN A MAN FRIENDLY AP PROACH IN THEIR MARKETING 4HE BIGGEST PART OF THE MARKET ING SCHEME HAS BEEN TO CHANGE THE PRECONCEPTIONS SURROUNDING CERTAIN PRODUCTS THAT MEN TRADITIONALLY VIEW AS GIRLY TURNING THEM INTO PRODUCTS THAT ARE ACTUALLY ACCEPTED AS SUITABLE FOR MEN %VEN '1 MAGAZINE S STYLE SECTION FOR MEN IS ENTITLED @&ASHION IN AN 5NASHAMEDLY -ASCULINE #ONTEXT SO AS NOT TO PUT THE MEN OFF THE PLEAS URE OF SHOPPING (ENRY #OOPER "RIT AIN S MOST FAMOUS BOXER WAS USED AS THE FACE OF THE "RUT AFTERSHAVE AS EARLY AS THE S 4HE TRICK TO CHANGING MEN S ATTI TUDES INVOLVED lNDING AN ICONIC lG URE TO WEAR THE PRODUCT WHOSE MAS CULINITY IS UNQUESTIONABLE 4ODAY THIS SHOWS ITSELF IN .IVEA FOR MEN ASSOCIAT ING THEIR PRODUCTS WITH THE BEAUTIFUL GAME AND 'ILLETTE SIGNING A MULTI MIL

LION POUND DEAL WITH $AVID "ECKHAM TO BE THEIR FACE OF THE FUTURE )F THE THOUGHT OF THE METROSEXUAL "ECKHAM TYPE SCARES YOU A LITTLE THEN THINK OF THE MACHO SEXUAL *OHNNY 7ILKINSON A RUGGED YET GROOMED MAN WHO MOIS TURISES WELL 4HE MALE FEMALE FASHION DIVIDE HAS INCREASINGLY GROWN CLOSER THROUGH OUT THE PAST CENTURY WHICH HAS LED TO MANY OF US STANDING BEWILDERED AMONG THE MASS OF HAIR STRAIGHTENING AND CONCEALER APPLYING BUT ARE HOW EVER STILL TROUSER WEARING MALES -ET ROSEXUALITY IS BECOMING INCREASINGLY PROMINENT BUT IT APPEARS THAT WITHIN THE FASHION WORLD IT IS NOT GETTING ANY FURTHER THAN THE MAN BAG !S A WOMAN ONE S WEEKLY ATTIRE OFTEN VARIES FROM LOW SLUNG WORN OUT ,EVIS THROUGH TO THE UNASHAM EDLY SHORT POOFY SKIRT DUSTED OFF FOR THE 3ATURDAY ,#2 (OWEVER THIS SORT OF CLOTHING FREEDOM IS NOT SHARED BY THE MALE POPULATION OF THIS OTH ERWISE INCREASINGLY ASEXUAL WORLD IN WHICH WE LIVE 7OMEN CAN WEAR TROUSERS WITHOUT RAISING QUESTIONS OF

THE EVENT

7HILST WOMEN CAN WEAR TROUSERS WITHOUT RAISING QUESTIONS OF THEIR FEMININITY WHY CANNOT MEN WEAR SKIRTS WITHOUT THEIR MASCULIN ITY BEING BROUGHT INTO ACCOUNT

AM "ECKH $AVID

RONG

IN A SA

THEIR FEMININITY WHY CAN MEN NOT WEAR SKIRTS WITHOUT THEIR MASCULIN ITY BEING UNDERMINED ! MAN IN A SKIRT IS USUALLY NOT ONLY PERCEIVED AS LOOKING FEMININE BUT ALSO AS BEING FEMININE 3URELY THERE SHOULD BE NO SHAME IN MEN ENJOYING THE FREEDOM OF THE AIR BETWEEN THEIR LEGS SO WHY IS IT THAT THIS FASHION HURDLE STILL HASN T BEEN JUMPED 4HE MAJOR TURNING POINT IN THE CROSSOVER OF THE SEXES CAME AFTER THE &IRST 7ORLD 7AR WHEN WOMEN REALISED THAT WITH THE STATUS OF THEIR NEWFOUND POSITIONS IN SOCIETY FROM AIR TRAFlC CONTROL THROUGH TO COAL MINING THEY DESERVED TO WEAR THE TROUSERS FOR A CHANGE )CONIC lGURES SUCH AS -ARLENE $IETRICH AND +ATH ERINE (EPBURN WERE SOME OF THE lRST TO REGULARLY mAUNT THE TROUSER LOOK IN THE S WITH lTTED SEXY SUITS HELPING TO FURTHER THE ANDROG YNOUS LOOK 4HE WOMEN OF SOCIETY EMBRACED THIS AND IN THE TIME IT TOOK TO FASTEN A ZIP THEY WERE EN CROACHING A TYPICALLY MALE FASHION WITH A VENGEANCE 4HE 3COTTISH KILT HAS BEEN AROUND FOR CENTURIES BUT EVEN WITH THIS MEN STILL FEEL THE NEED TO AS

$AVID "ECKH

AM WEARING

NAIL POLISH

SERT THEIR MASCULINITY GOING ONE STEP FURTHER AND LETTING IT ALL @HANG FREE 4HIS ISN T NECESSARY 9OU DON T NEED TO mAUNT YOUR MASCULINITY IN FEAR OF US MISTAKING YOU FOR GIRLS 4HE HAIRY LEGS ARE ENOUGH $ESIGNERS HAVE BEEN EXPERIMENTAL WITH THE PATTERNING COL OURING AND DESIGN OF THE KILT BUT MOST STILL DRAW ON @HYPER MASCULINE CON NOTATIONS BY BALANCING THE KILT OUT WITH LEATHER JACKETS THICK SOCKS AND CHUNKY BOOTS -ANY DESIGNERS SINCE THE S HAVE ATTEMPTED TO DISPOSE OF THE ASSOCIATED TABOO OF MEN WEAR ING TRADITIONALLY FEMALE DRESS AND RE INTRODUCE THE SKIRT AS AN ACCEPTABLE FORM OF ATTIRE 'AULTIER FOR EXAMPLE ATTEMPTED THIS THROUGH SKIRTS FOR MEN IN HIS COLLECTION APPEARING IN THE 6 ! AND FASHION SHOW APTLY NAMED @3KIRTS FOR -EN %VEN HIGH STREET NAMES SUCH AS ( - HAVE DABBLED IN THE MAN SKIRT BUT SADLY WITH LITTLE SUCCESS 7HY IS IT MEN THAT YOU ALL JUMP AT THE CHANCE OF SQUEEZING INTO YOUR GIRLFRIEND S DRESS FOR A RUGBY SOCIAL BUT YOU JEER AT THE IDEA OF TEAMING YOUR !BERCROMBIE POLO SHIRTS WITH A STYLISH KNEE LENGTH NUMBER /KAY SO WE KNOW THAT A FEW HEADS MAY TURN IF YOU GUYS ROCK UP TO THE UNION BAR IN A MANSKIRT AS #HRIS IN (OLLYOAKS KNOWS BUT UNTIL SOMEONE TAKES THE PLUNGE THIS INVISIBLE LINE STOPPING SO MANY MEN FROM REACHING THEIR FULL FASHION POTENTIAL WILL NEVER BE CROSSED 7E DON T EXPECT YOU TO WEAR A HIGH HEMMED BABY PINK RA RA SKIRT BUT AS THE PROMOTIONAL DESIGNS SHOW THERE CAN BE SOMETHING QUITE SEXY ABOUT A WELL lTTED AND FUNKILY DESIGNED MANSKIRT 3O BOYS THE CHALLENGE HAS BEEN SET &OLLOW IN THE FOOTSTEPS OF "ECK HAM TAKE THE PLUNGE AND DON A MAN SKIRT

.OO 6OCALS

THE EVENT

-USIC

!LBUM 2EVIEWS #OLD 7AR +IDS 2OBBERS AND #OWARDS %VER SINCE THEY BURST ONTO THE MUSIC SCENE AT THE 3837 FESTIVAL IN #OLD 7AR +IDS HAVE BEEN TIPPED FOR BIG THINGS WITH .-% LISTING THEM AS ONE OF THEIR BANDS TO WATCH IN AND A WHOLE HOST OF CELEBRITY FANS 4HREE %0S AND A SEEMINGLY NEVER ENDING TOUR SCHEDULE LATER AND WE RE lNALLY ABLE TO GET OUR HANDS ON 2OBBERS AND #OWARDS 3O DOES IT STAND UP TO ALL THE INDUSTRY BUZZ 4HE lRST THING TO SAY IS THAT IT S MUCH MORE DIVERSE THAN THE AVERAGE BAND S EFFORT )TS INmUENCES RANGE FROM THE STORYTELLING OF "ILLIE (OLIDAY (OSPITAL "EDS TO THE GARAGE ROCK OF 4HE 6ELVET 5NDERGROUND ON 3AINT *OHN !T TIMES IT SOUNDS LIKE NEW WAVE NEO PUNK WHILE THE BAND S #HRISTIAN UP BRINGING IS OCCASIONALLY EVIDENT IN THE LYRICS LIKE 0ASSING 4HE (AT ,EAD SINGER .ATHAN 7IL LETT S VOCALS RANGE FROM *ACK 7HITE ESQUE ROOTSY BLUES (ANG -E 5P 4O $RY TO *EFF "UCKLEY AT HIS MOST mEXIBLE 'OD -AKE 5P 9OUR -IND -USICALLY THE BAND CAN T BE FAULTED 4HE ARRANGE MENTS ARE GENUINELY ENGAGING AND RIVAL ANY OF THE GREAT GUITAR ALBUMS OF THE LAST YEARS THE SQUEALING GUI TARS OF (ANG -E 5P 4O $RY ARE REMINISCENT OF *UST FROM 2ADIOHEAD S 4HE "ENDS WHEREAS THE INmUENCE OF GARAGE ROCK BANDS LIKE 4HE 3TROKES IS EVIDENT ON SONGS SUCH AS 4ELL -E )N 4HE -ORNING 1UITE SIMPLY THEIR MELODIES FEEL REFRESHING AND INNOVATIVE GENUINELY SETTING THEM APART FROM ANY @INDIE BANDS AROUND AT PRESENT )NDEED ON THE STRONGER PARTS OF THIS ALBUM SUCH AS (ANG -E 5P 4O $RY A BASS DRIVEN GEM RECALLING YEARS OF !MERICAN ROCK MUSIC #OLD 7AR +IDS ARE WORKING IN A lELD OF THEIR OWN WHEN THEY ARE ON TOP OF THEIR GAME

NO ONE CAN TOUCH THEM 4HE ALBUM DRAWS YOU IN 7IL LETT S VOCALS HONEY LADEN AND WARM THEN TAKES YOU ON A JOURNEY THROUGH VARIOUS TALES OF DOMESTIC !MERICA 7HILE THE ORIGINALITY THAT SETS #OLD 7AR +IDS APART IS TO BE COMMENDED THIS ALBUM IS NOT WITHOUT FAULT !T TIMES THE PRODUCTION FEELS A LITTLE TOO POLISHED PAR TICULARLY WHEN COMPARED TO THEIR PREVIOUS WORK )N AD DITION 7ILLETT S VOICE SEEMS TO POLARISE OPINION WITH SOME lNDING THAT IT GRATES A BIT OVER THE COURSE OF SONGS 2OBBERS AND #OWARDS IS A HUGELY AMBITIOUS DEBUT WHICH FOR THE MOST PART WORKS /CCASIONALLY THE BAND OVER REACH MATTERS A LITTLE BUT THIS REMAINS A LARGELY BREATHTAKING ALBUM 2ECORD OF THE YEAR $ON T BET AGAINST IT ,EWIS -ORTON

7ANT MORE ABOUT #OLD 7AR +IDS 4URN TO PAGE FOR A LIVE REVIEW NOW

(OT &UZZ

)DLEWILD

.OW )T S /VERHEAD

/34

-AKE !NOTHER

3ESSIONS %0

!LL GREAT lLMS HAVE AN ESSENTIAL SOUNDTRACK )T S A FACT OF LIFE JUST LIKE THE LEAVES ON THE TREES AND *EREMY +YLE BEING THE MOST SANCTIMONIOUS AND CONDESCENDING PILLOCK ON TELLY #ONSIDER 'ARDEN 3TATE 3HAUN OF THE $EAD AND ER ,ABYRINTH !LL CLASSICS AND ALL WITH CLASSIC SOUNDTRACKS .OW ADD (OT &UZZ S SOUNDTRACK TO THAT LIST 7E RE SURE YOU KNOW ALL ABOUT 3IMON 0EGG AND .ICK &ROST S LATEST VENTURE BY NOW BUT DID YOU KNOW THAT THE PAIR USED TO HOST A SHOW ON 8&- 7ELL THEY DID 4HE MUSICAL KNOWLEDGE GLEANED FROM SUCH A LOFTY PERCH SHOWS THROUGHOUT THIS #$ 4HE +INKS 4 2EX 3UPERGRASS 4HE &RATELLIS AND %ELS ALL FEATURE ALONGSIDE LESSER NAMES LIKE 3TAVELY -AKEPEACE WHO #OZY 0OWELL EH AND 2OBERT 2ODRIGUEZ YEAH THE DIRECTOR 1UITE WHY THERE S A PREVALENT LEANING TOWARDS GLAM ROCK FROM THE S AS WELL AS ITS MODERN REPRESENTATIVES IN 3UPERGRASS AND 4HE &RATELLIS IS UNCLEAR BUT IT S A BREAK FROM THE NORMAL PERFUNCTORY ROCK THAT USUALLY FEATURES ON SOUNDTRACKS 0ERHAPS THE ONLY ANNOYANCE IS THE CONSTANT SOUNDBITES FROM THE lLM THAT PUNCTUATE THE SONGS AND PREVENT SMOOTH TRANSITIONS FROM ONE TO THE NEXT !PART FROM THAT MINOR NIGGLE AND DESPITE SOUNDING LIKE YOU RE LISTENING TO YOUR DAD S RECORD COLLECTION AT TIMES IT S A STORMING SOUNDTRACK AND SHOWS THAT 0EGG @N &ROST HAVE GREAT TASTE IN MUSIC AS WELL AS lLMS AND 46

7ORLD

4HIS lVE TRACK %0 ENCCOMPASSES RE RECORDINGS OF TRACKS FROM THE BAND S CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED ALBUM $ARK ,IGHT $AYBREAK )TS RELEASE TIMES PERFECTLY WITH THE BAND S 5+ TOUR IN SUPPORT OF )DLEWILD 4HIS GIVES YOU A HINT TO THE SOUND OF THE BAND ALTHOUGH IT SEEMS THAT THE BAND HAVE WIDELY VARIED INmUENCES COLLABORATORS AND LABELMATES #OMPARED TO 3MASHING 0UMPKINS AND 4HE #URE IN THE PAST THE VOICE OF THE LEAD SINGER HAS A DElNITE HINT OF 0LACEBO S "RIAN -OLKO IN IT ESPECIALLY ON THE LEAD TRACK 7ALLS 4HERE S EVEN A HINT OF -ANIC 3TREET 0REACHERS IN THE SONGS THEY ARE JUST MORE MEDIOCRE AND FAIL TO GRAB YOU FOR ANOTHER LISTEN $ESPITE HIGH PRAISE FROM NUMEROUS SOURCES AN APPEARANCE BY THE FRONTMAN ON THE "RIGHT %YES TOUR AND A HIGH PROlLE SUPPORT SLOT WITH 2%- THE MUSIC FAILS TO EVOKE ANY EMOTION IN THE LISTENER %ASILY DESCRIBED AS JUST ANOTHER RUN OF THE MILL INDIE BAND THEY DO SHOW mASHES OF PROMISE WITH SOME EMOTIONALLY CHARGED LYRICS BUT NOWHERE NEAR ENOUGH TO MAKE THIS @SESSION WORTHWHILE

#HRIS (YDE

THE EVENT

3PARE A THOUGHT FOR POOR OLD )DLEWILD 4HEY RE THE EGG AND BACON SANDWICHES OF MODERN INDIE ROCK THE COMPONENT PARTS ARE FAIRLY BORING BUT ONCE ADDED TOGETHER THEY MAKE FOR SOMETHING ENJOYABLE THAT LEAVES A GREAT AFTERTASTE BUT IS OFTEN LEFT ON THE SHELF IN FAVOUR OF MORE @EXCITING STUFF n LIKE "ABYSHAMBLES HEROIN @N BLOOD ON WHOLEMEAL (OWEVER )DLEWILD ARE NOW BACK WITH A NEW ALBUM TO REMIND PEOPLE THAT PERHAPS EGG AND BACON CAN BE THE BEST TYPE OF SANDWICH !FTER S FAN SPLITTING 7ARNINGS 0ROMISES DIVIDING THOSE THAT FAVOURED THE SOFT ROCK STADIUM lLLERS AND THOSE THAT FELT A RETURN TO THE GROUP S PUNKY ROOTS WAS SORELY NEEDED THIS ALBUM SUCCEEDS IN APPEASING BOTH SETS OF FANS WHETHER ON THE GRUNGEY AND lERCE GUT PUNCH OF )F )T 4AKES 9OU (OME OR THE ANTHEMIC #OLDPLAY LITE -AKE !NOTHER 7ORLD /NE THING THAT STRIKES THE LISTENER IS THAT IT WORKS WELL AS A COHESIVE PIECE )N THESE DAYS OF MP PLAYERS AND I4UNES WHEN AN ALBUM CAN BE DISSECTED INTO IT S COMPONENT PARTS AND SCRUTINISED UNDER THE (UBBLE TELESCOPE IT S NOVEL TO HEAR AN ALBUM WHERE THE SONGS mOW INTO EACH OTHER MAKING THEIR INDIVIDUAL STRENGTHS SHINE )N A JUST WORLD )DLEWILD WOULD BE ALLOWED ACCESS TO THE ARENAS THAT THEY SO FERVENTLY CRAVE AFTER THIS ALBUM IT SEEMS ALMOST A DEAD CERT #HRIS (YDE

-ATT (IMSWORTH

-USIC -AXIMO 0ARK

'OLDEN 3OUNDS

/UR 6ELOCITY

"OB $YLAN

"LONDE /N "LONDE -ANY ARTISTS THROUGHOUT THE TH CENTURY CHANGED MUSIC IN SOME WAY "OB $YLAN WENT FURTHER HE DE lNED AN ERA CHALLENGING PEOPLE S PERCEPTIONS AND ATTITUDES OF THE SOCIETY HE HAD GROWN TO HATE "LONDE ON "LONDE RELEASED IN WAS AT THE HEART OF HIS GREATEST AND MOST CONTROVERSIAL PERIOD $YLAN HAD GROWN TIRED OF BEING THE hVOICE OF A GENERATIONv AND WAS TAKEN OUT OF .EW 9ORK TO .ASH VILLE 4ENNESSEE BY MANAGER !LBERT 'ROSSMAN STEP PING INTO A WORLD WHERE THE HIPPY URBAN GENERATION DIDN T EXIST (AVING HARDLY PENNED A SONG UPON AR RIVAL RECORDING WAS DISJOINTED AND FRUSTRATING FOR HIS BAND BUT 'ROSSMAN KNEW EXACTLY WHAT TO EXPECT $Y LAN WAS GIVEN ALL THE TIME NEEDED TO REmECT UPON HIS SURROUNDINGS AND A WHIRLWIND PAST FOURTEEN MONTHS IN WHICH HE HAD ALREADY RECORDED TWO ALBUMS !N INFUSION OF ROCK COUNTRY AND FOLK STEMMING FROM $YLAN S DEBUT TO PREDECESSOR (IGHWAY 2E VISITED WHEN IT ALL WENT A BIT ELECTRIC PRODUCED THE MOTHER OF ALL BOUNDARY BREAKERS /N ,EOPARD SKIN 0ILL BOX (AT AN ELECTRIC GUITAR MELTS OVER A SWAYING COUNTRY RHYTHM GIVING THE FOLK FOLLOWERS ANOTH ER REASON TO SHOUT *UDAS AS $YLAN S SOUND MOVED FURTHER TOWARD THE POP CONVENTIONS HE HAD EARLIER DElED IN HIS CAREER 4HE FREEDOM GIVEN TO HIS BAND RESULTED IN A COMING TOGETHER OF .EW 9ORK AND 4EN NESSEE STYLES THOUGHT UNFEASIBLE /N ) 7ANT 9OU GUI TARIST 7AYNE -OSS LICKS CAN ONLY BE DESCRIBED AS AB SOLUTELY INSANE PROVIDING A .ASHVILLE EDGE THAT HAD ALL THE HIPSTERS IN .9# RUBBING THEIR EYES

4HE NATURE OF *UST ,IKE ! 7OMAN IS STILL DE BATED TODAY AS $YLAN SINGS LONGINGLY AFTER AN UN KNOWN LOVER ! BEAUTIFUL ARRANGEMENT OF GUITAR PI ANO AND ORGAN COUPLED WITH "OB BEARING ALL h4ILL SHE SEES lNALLY THAT SHE S LIKE ALL THE REST v 7HETHER HE IS LOATHING OR LOVING LUSTING OR LEERING IT SEEMS TO CHANGE WITH EVERY LISTEN SUCH IS THE DEPTH AND SUB TLE BRILLIANCE OF HIS LYRICS &INAL TRACK 3AD %YED ,ADY OF THE ,OWLANDS CLOSES ON AN INTOXICATING HARMONICA SOLO THAT BRINGS ROCK S lRST DOUBLE ALBUM TO AN ALL TOO ABRUPT ENDING 3OME SAY IT CHANGED MUSIC )T CHANGED HISTORY

/THER 3INGLES OF THEM THEY DON T UNDERSTAND 0AUL -ULLEN COULD EASILY BE SINGING ABOUT HIS BAND S SMALL STATUS IN THE PAST (OWEVER IF THIS RELEASE IS ANYTHING TO GO BY 9#.)- SHOULD EXPECT SOME MORE OF THE RECOGNITION THEY DESERVE WHEN THEIR NEW ALBUM IS RELEASED AT THE START OF !PRIL -ARK #RAWLEY

9OURCODENAMEIS MILO 5NDERSTAND (OTLY TIPPED BY .-% AND THE LIKE 9OURCODENAMEIS MILO ARE STARTING TO MAKE A NAME FOR THEMSELVES IN THE CROWDED INDIE SCENE 0ARTLY HELPED BY THE FACT THEIR RECENT ALBUM FEATURED COLLABORATIONS WITH THE LIKES OF INDIE HEAVYWEIGHTS "LOC 0ARTY AND -AXIMO 0ARK 5NDERSTAND THEIR RELEASE FROM FORTHCOMING ALBUM 4HEY CAME FROM THE SUN SHOWS THEY CAN DO JUST AS WELL ON THEIR OWN 0OWERED BY A STOMPING RIFF AND PASSIONATE VOCALS THIS TRACK IS ALSO MORE ACCESSIBLE THAN SOME OF THEIR EARLIER WORK )T ALSO MAKES IT ALL THE MORE FRUSTRATING THAT THE LIKES OF 4HE !UTOMATIC WON T DISAPPEAR AND MAKE SOME ROOM FOR BANDS LIKE 9#.)- THAT HAVE MORE THAN ONE QUALITY SONG 7ITH THE LINE hTHE REST

6ILLE 6ALO AND .ATALIA !VELON 3UMMER 7INE /N SEEING A SINGLE WITH THE 6ILLE 6ALO BRAND ATTACHED TO IT LEAD SINGER WITH INEXPLICABLY POPULAR &INNISH PURVEYORS OF SUB METAL CLAPTRAP (IM ONE S FACE CURLS UP IN REVULSION TO RESEMBLE THE GNARLED FEATURES OF 'RANT -ITCHELL !FTER CHURNING OUT THE SAME RUBBISH TO

THE WORLD S DISILLUSIONED MIDDLE CLASS YEAR OLDS FOR YEARS YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE WITH 6ALO EVEN IF IT IS SOMEWHERE YOU DON T WANT TO BE )T WAS WITH SOME SURPRISE THEREFORE THAT THIS TURNED OUT TO BE A SWEEPING ORCHESTRAL COVER OF .ANCY 3INATRA S SMASHING 3UMMER 7INE WITH .ANCY S PARTS ABLY SUNG BY 0OLISH ACTRESS .ATALIA !VELON IT S ALL TO DO WITH IT BEING ON THE SOUNDTRACK TO SOME 'ERMAN lLM Y SEE 7HEN NOT YELPING OVER TURGID GUITARS 6ALO ACTUALLY POSSESSES A SHOCKINGLY SMOOTH VOICE REMINISCENT OF AN OLD CROONER WHILE !VELON S LANGUID VOCALS SEEP OUT OF THE SPEAKERS LIKE LIQUID SILK #OUPLED WITH THE VIOLINS AND PLUCKED ACOUSTIC GUITARS IT ADDS UP TO BEING AN ABOVE AVERAGE lLM THEME THAT S ONLY NOTABLE FOR BEING A SONG WITH 6ALO SINGING THAT S VAGUELY TOLERABLE %VEN SO BEST AVOID IT BEFORE 6ALO STARTS FORGING A NEW CAREER IN SOUNDTRACKS IF HE MUST MAKE MUSIC LET IT BE STUFF ONLY PLAYED IN TEENAGE GIRLS BEDROOMS IN DETACHED HOUSES WORLDWIDE

2EMEMBER THE CLASS OF 2EMEMBER HOW IT WAS FULL OF PARSIMONIOUS POWER POP !T THE TOP OF THAT CLASS BY A COUNTRY MILE WAS -AXIMO 0ARK 9ES THEY SOUNDED THE SAME AS THE OTHERS TO A CERTAIN EXTENT BUT SOME THING PUT THEM AHEAD OF THE REST -AYBE IT WAS THE THEMES OF ALIENATION AND LOSS IN THEIR LYRICS THAT SEEMED TO RESONATE WITH THE OUTSIDERS OF THE NOUGHTIES MUCH LIKE 4HE 3MITHS HAD DONE IN THE S -AYBE IT WAS THAT THEY HAD MORE TUNES THAN YOUR LOCAL "OOTS /R MAYBE IT WAS SINGER 0AUL 3MITH S WACKY DANCING ONSTAGE 7HATEVER IT WAS THEY WERE LAPPED UP n AND RIGHTFULLY SO "UT IN A YEAR WHERE NEW RAVE AND DOOM LADEN ROCK ENRAP TURES THE INDIE NATION CAN THEY RECLAIM THEIR THRONE /N THE BACK OF THIS SONG UNDOUBTEDLY %ARLY INTERVIEWS WITH THE BAND AS THEY RECORDED SONGS FOR FORTHCOMING SECOND ALBUM /UR %ARTHLY 0LEASURES FEA TURED QUOTES ABOUT HOW LISTENING TO 3MASHING 0UMPKINS WERE INmUENCING THEIR MUSICAL DIREC TION 3UCH TOKEN DECLARATIONS OF A CHANGING SOUND WERE PIFmED EVERYONE AND THEIR MUM KNEW THEY D CHURN OUT ! #ERTAIN 4RIG

EXCITING THAN MIGHT BE EXPECTED .AMED AFTER THE VILLAIN OF S CARTOON 4HUNDER#ATS THEY HAVE A SLIGHTLY RETRO FEEL PERHAPS INDUCED BY THE #ASIO KEYBOARD PRE CHORUS THAT WILL TAKE MANY WHO HAVE -UMM 2A PIGEONHOLED AS ANOTHER POST ,IBS GUITAR BAND BY SURPRISE !T TIMES SOUNDING LIKE THE -ACCABEES IN A SLIGHTLY MORE MELODIC MOOD 7HAT 7OULD 3TEVE $O IS THREE MINUTES OF YOUTHFUL EXUBERANCE AND OPTIMISM THAT SUGGESTS -UMM 2A HAVE THE POTENTIAL TO DO WELL IN )S IT ESSENTIAL .O )S IT QUITE GOOD ANYWAY 9ES 'OOD

GER AND ALL WOULD BE GOOD (OWEVER THIS THE LEAD SINGLE DOES INDEED HAVE A CERTAIN WHIFF OF "ILLY #ORGAN S SHAVED HEAD ABOUT IT )T ALL STARTS OFF FAIRLY FORMULAIC WHIRLING SYNTHS COUPLED WITH THE TRADEMARK TIGHT DRUMMING BOUNCING BASSLINE AND ANGULAR GUITARS THAT TYPI lED &RANZ &ERDINAND ET AL ALONG WITH 3MITH S DISTINCTIVE 'EORDIE BROGUE SINGING LYRICS ABOUT A RELATIONSHIP 3O FAR SO -AXIMO 0ARK 4HEN THE CHORUS KICKS IN WHERE THE WHOLE BROUHAHA MU TATES INTO A MUCH HEAVIER AFFAIR THAT MAKES THE NOD TO THE 0UMP KINS SEEM ENTIRELY JUSTIlED 7HO KNOWS WHAT SORT OF BEAST THEY LL MUTATE INTO NEXT n PERHAPS "OSNIAN ACAPELLA FOLK n BUT FOR NOW THE NEW AND IMPROVED BRAND OF -AXIMO 0ARK WILL REFRESH THOSE PARTS OTHER BANDS FAIL TO REACH WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY GIVING YOU MORE HAPPINESS AND SONGWRITING BRIL LIANCE THAN THE NEAREST RIVAL )T WON T HOWEVER GET THOSE DIRTY STAINS OUT OF YOUR CARPET #HRIS (YDE

THAT LASTS HALF AN HOUR LONGER THAN IT SHOULD DO A TWO HOUR SEMINAR OR A SILENT lLM FOR MOST IT WAS A BIT LENGTHY 3PLICE OUT THE lLLERS AND YOU HAD A BELTER OF AN ,0 AND FEW SONGS SHOWCASED THEIR NEW DEPTHS GREATER THAN -ARS S OPENER $ESECRATION 3MILE +EIDIS S LYRICS ARE IMMEADIATELY REMINISCENT OF THE AMBIGIOUS OBSCURITY WE VE ALL GROWN TO LOVE h7E COULD ALL GO DOWN TO -ALIBU AND MAKE SOME NOISE #OCA #OLA DOESN T DO THE JUSTICE SHE ENJOYSv ERR RIGHT &RUCSIATE S BACKING VOCALS ARE THE ENIGMA AND TOGETHER WITH HIS GUITAR THEY WARRANT REMINISCING TO THE GLORY YEARS OF 3CAR 4ISSUE AND 6ENICE 1UEEN )N FACT IT EXCEEDS THE MAJORITY AND CEMENTS 3TADIUM !RCADIUM AS THE ALBUM THAT WILL FOREVER BE REMEMBERED FOR &RUSCIANTE S GENIUS ! SINGLE THAT GLORIOUSLY WILFULLY SUMS UP THE LOST MASTERPIECE 3TADIUM !RCADIUM WOOOOOOOO 'REG 3ULLIVAN

,EWIS -ORTON #HRIS (YDE

-UMM 2A 7HAT 7OULD 3TEVE $P &OR A BAND WHO HAIL FROM THE FAVOURITE RESIDENCE OF PENSIONERS EVERYWHERE "EXHILL /N 3EA INDIE POPSTERS -UMM 2A ARE FAR MORE

2ED (OT #HILI 0EPPERS $ESECRATION 3MILE 3TADIUM !RCADIUM DIDN T TAKE LONG TO SLIP AWAY INTO THE DARK DEPTHS OF EVERYBODY S #$ COLLECTION 4HATS NOT TO SAY IT WAS A BAD RECORD JUST A VERY LONG ONE LIKE A CAR JOURNEY

THE EVENT

-USIC -AXIMO 0ARK

'OLDEN 3OUNDS

/UR 6ELOCITY

"OB $YLAN

"LONDE /N "LONDE -ANY ARTISTS THROUGHOUT THE TH CENTURY CHANGED MUSIC IN SOME WAY "OB $YLAN WENT FURTHER HE DE lNED AN ERA CHALLENGING PEOPLE S PERCEPTIONS AND ATTITUDES OF THE SOCIETY HE HAD GROWN TO HATE "LONDE ON "LONDE RELEASED IN WAS AT THE HEART OF HIS GREATEST AND MOST CONTROVERSIAL PERIOD $YLAN HAD GROWN TIRED OF BEING THE hVOICE OF A GENERATIONv AND WAS TAKEN OUT OF .EW 9ORK TO .ASHVILLE 4ENNESSEE BY MANAGER !LBERT 'ROSSMAN STEPPING INTO A WORLD WHERE THE HIPPY URBAN GEN ERATION DIDN T EXIST (AVING HARDLY PENNED A SONG UPON ARRIVAL RECORDING WAS DISJOINTED AND FRUSTRAT ING FOR HIS BAND BUT 'ROSSMAN KNEW EXACTLY WHAT TO EXPECT $YLAN WAS GIVEN ALL THE TIME NEEDED TO REmECT UPON HIS SURROUNDINGS AND A WHIRLWIND PAST FOURTEEN MONTHS IN WHICH HE HAD ALREADY RECORDED TWO ALBUMS !N INFUSION OF ROCK COUNTRY AND FOLK STEMMING FROM $YLAN S DEBUT TO PREDECESSOR (IGHWAY 2E VISITED WHEN IT ALL WENT A BIT ELECTRIC PRODUCED THE MOTHER OF ALL BOUNDARY BREAKERS /N ,EOPARD SKIN 0ILL BOX (AT AN ELECTRIC GUITAR MELTS OVER A SWAYING COUNTRY RHYTHM GIVING THE FOLK FOLLOWERS ANOTHER REASON TO SHOUT *UDAS AS $YLAN S SOUND MOVED FUR THER TOWARD THE POP CONVENTIONS HE HAD EARLIER DE lED IN HIS CAREER 4HE FREEDOM GIVEN TO HIS BAND RESULTED IN A COMING TOGETHER OF .EW 9ORK AND 4EN NESSEE STYLES THOUGHT UNFEASIBLE /N ) 7ANT 9OU GUITARIST 7AYNE -OSS LICKS CAN ONLY BE DESCRIBED AS ABSOLUTELY INSANE PROVIDING A .ASHVILLE EDGE THAT

HAD ALL THE HIPSTERS IN .9# RUBBING THEIR EYES 4HE NATURE OF *UST ,IKE ! 7OMAN IS STILL DE BATED TODAY AS $YLAN SINGS LONGINGLY AFTER AN UN KNOWN LOVER ! BEAUTIFUL ARRANGEMENT OF GUITAR PI ANO AND ORGAN COUPLED WITH "OB BEARING ALL h4ILL SHE SEES lNALLY THAT SHE S LIKE ALL THE REST v 7HETHER HE IS LOATHING OR LOVING LUSTING OR LEERING IT SEEMS TO CHANGE WITH EVERY LISTEN SUCH IS THE DEPTH AND SUBTLE BRILLIANCE OF HIS LYRICS &INAL TRACK 3AD %YED ,ADY OF THE ,OWLANDS CLOSES ON AN INTOXICATING HAR MONICA SOLO THAT BRINGS ROCK S lRST DOUBLE ALBUM TO AN ALL TOO ABRUPT ENDING 3OME SAY IT CHANGED MUSIC )T CHANGED HISTORY +IERAN #ORNWELL

AND ALL WOULD BE GOOD (OWEVER THIS THE LEAD SINGLE DOES INDEED HAVE A CERTAIN WHIFF OF "ILLY #ORGAN S SHAVED HEAD ABOUT IT )T ALL STARTS OFF FAIRLY FORMULAIC WHIRLING SYNTHS COUPLED WITH THE TRADE MARK TIGHT DRUMMING BOUNCING BASSLINE AND ANGULAR GUITARS THAT TYPIlED &RANZ &ERDINAND ET AL ALONG WITH 3MITH S DISTINCTIVE 'EORDIE BROGUE SINGING LYRICS ABOUT A RELATIONSHIP 3O FAR SO -AXIMO 0ARK 4HEN THE CHO RUS KICKS IN WHERE THE WHOLE BROUHAHA MUTATES INTO A MUCH HEAVIER AFFAIR THAT MAKES THE NOD TO THE 0UMPKINS SEEM ENTIRELY JUSTIlED 7HO KNOWS WHAT SORT OF BEAST THEY LL MUTATE INTO NEXT n PERHAPS "OSNIAN ACAPELLA FOLK n BUT FOR NOW THE NEW AND IMPROVED BRAND OF -AXIMO 0ARK WILL REFRESH THOSE PARTS OTHER BANDS FAIL TO REACH WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY GIVING YOU MORE HAPPINESS AND SONGWRITING BRIL LIANCE THAN THE NEAREST RIVAL )T WON T HOWEVER GET THOSE DIRTY STAINS OUT OF YOUR CARPET #HRIS (YDE

,EWIS -ORTON #HRIS (YDE

-UMM 2A 7HAT 7OULD 3TEVE $P &OR A BAND WHO HAIL FROM THE FAVOURITE RESIDENCE OF PENSIONERS EVERYWHERE "EXHILL /N 3EA INDIE POPSTERS -UMM 2A ARE FAR MORE

THE EVENT

-USIC

$O 9OU -ISS (OME 7ITH 4HE -ACCABEES CURRENTLY HEADLINING A SOLD OUT TOUR THEY RE BECOMING HOT PROPERTY 4HE %VENT SENT ,EWIS -ORTON AND 'REG 3ULLIVAN TO CHAT WITH FRONTMAN /RLANDO 7EEKS ABOUT EVERYTHING FROM 4HE 3TROKES TO SWIMMING POOLS

)

T S AND 4HE %VENT IS WAITING NERVOUSLY IN THE BAR OF THE !RTS #EN TRE /UR INTERVIEW IS AL READY HALF AN HOUR LATE AND WE RE TOLD BY THE TOUR MANAGER THAT 4HE -ACCABEES HAVE HAD A BAD DAY WITH THEIR BUS HAVING BROKEN DOWN EN ROUTE 3O WHEN SINGER /RLANDO 7EEKS ASKS US TO GO WITH HIM TO THE BAND S DRESSING ROOM FOR THE INTERVIEW THERE IS AN ELEMENT OF FEAR THAT THIS COULD BE A DIFlCULT INTERVIEW (OWEVER AS SOON AS WE STEP FOOT IN THE ROOM FEARS ARE ALLAYED AS HE OFFERS 4HE %VENT BEER AND SNACKS BEFORE WE GET DOWN TO THE INTER VIEW 3NACKS ACCEPTED WE ASK /R LANDO WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE TOUR BUS THAT HAS CAUSED SO MANY PROBLEMS h7E WERE LATE OUR BUS HAD SOME WINDSCREEN WIPER TROU BLE )T CAN WORK TWO $6$ PLAY ERS BUT WINDSCREEN WIPERS ARE A PROBLEM v 3URELY A BAND OF THEIR GROWING MAGNITUDE CAN SECURE BETTER TRANSPORT THAN THIS !FTER ALL THIS IS A SOLD OUT TOUR h9EAH IT S A NICE THING ESPECIALLY AS WE RE GOING BACK TO A LOT OF THE VENUES THAT WE VE PLAYED BEFORE THERE WERE ONLY TEN PEOPLE THERE BUT IT S NOT BEEN A HUGE AMOUNT DOWN TO US ;USING LOCAL PROMOTERS= 7E RE FRIENDS WITH OUR AGENT AND WHERE POSSIBLE WE TRY TO USE PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN GOOD TO US ! LOT OF THE PEOPLE WE USE ARE PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN LOSING MONEY ON GIGS WE VE GOT FRIENDS IN "RIGHTON WHO PUT ON NIGHTS AND LOSE MONEY ,IKE YOU PUT ON A BAND LIKE 4HE 3HINS YOU EXPECT TO GET A SHIT LOAD OF PEOPLE AND THEN PEOPLE TURN UP ! FRIEND OF OURS DID THAT IN "RIGHTON )T S A REALLY HARD PLACE AND PEOPLE CAN T AFFORD TO PUT ON BANDS THAT MIGHT ONE DAY HAVE A BIG FUTURE "UT ) DON T KNOW HOW MUCH TO DO WITH US THAT IS 3OME OF IT IS BECAUSE WE VE SAID IT AND SOME OF IT S BECAUSE OUR AGENT S BEEN GOOD ABOUT IT v 4HE -ACCABEES ARE ONE OF SEV ERAL BANDS BRINGING "RIGHTON TO A MUSICAL FOREFRONT ALONG WITH 4HE +OOKS AND "LOOD 2ED 3HOES AMONGST OTHERS h) THINK THE THING WITH "RIGHTON IS THAT NO ONE COMES FROM "RIGHTON SO IT S THIS REALLY NICE MELTING POT THERE S A REALLY GOOD ATMOSPHERE AND THERE S A LOT OF ART

STUDENTS )T S VERY RELAXED WHICH IS NICE ) DON T THINK THERE S hA SCENE hAS SUCH BUT ) THINK THERE S A GOOD ENVIRONMENT FOR BANDS THERE S LOTS OF GOOD VENUES v $ESPITE FORMING IN IT S THE LAST YEAR THAT HAS SEEN THE BAND BECOME REALLY BIG PLAYING FESTI VALS h;,EEDS &ESTIVAL= WAS REALLY QUIET v AND HAVING A HIT SINGLE IN &IRST ,OVE )N SUCH A BUSY YEAR IT MUST BE DIFlCULT TO PICK OUT THE MOMENT THAT DElNED THEIR PAS SAGE TO THE TOP h;4HE GIG AT= #AFÏ DE 0ARIS THAT S THE ONE THAT REALLY MADE PEOPLE TAKE NOTICE OF US AS A LIVE BAND ) THINK THAT WAS AL WAYS REALLY IMPORTANT BECAUSE THAT S THE ONE THING WE FEEL WE RE GETTING GOOD AT 7ITHOUT WANTING TO SOUND ;ARROGANT= IF WE WEREN T GETTING GOOD AFTER OR WHATEVER GIGS WE VE DONE THEN WE MIGHT AS WELL PACK IT IN 9EAH THAT WAS A VERY NICE .-% REVIEW IT WAS A NICE COMPLIMENT v !LTHOUGH /RLANDO LATER CHANGES HIS MIND OVER THE DElNING MOMENT h)N ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTION EARLIER THE DElNING MOMENT WAS GETTING 2OB BACK ON THE DRUMS (E WAS OUT FOR MONTHS AND MONTHS (E MISSED THREE BIG TOURS v )NDEED AS 4HE %VENT WITNESSED ON THE .-% TOUR LAST /CTOBER 4HE -ACCABEES ARE VERY MUCH A LIVE BAND h4HE THING ABOUT US IS THAT WE WERE VERY AWARE OF BEING A SUP PORT BAND AND WE VE TAKEN PEOPLE ON TOURxYOU WANT A BAND TO JUST PLAY THEIR HEART OUT @COS THAT MAKES YOU PLAY YOUR HEART OUT AND IT JUST MAKES IT A BETTER GIG ALL ROUND 7E VE SUPPORTED SOME BANDS THAT WE REALLY REALLY LIKE LIKE THE &U TUREHEADSxAND 4HE 3TROKES 4HAT WAS AT "RIGHTON ABOUT A YEAR AND A BIT AGO IT WAS ONE OF THE CROWNING

THE EVENT

GLORIES OF THIS BAND "UT Y KNOW YOU KNOW YOUR PLACE AND YOU JUST PLAY AS WELL AS YOU CAN 4HE 3TROKES WERE ALL VERY NICE TO US ) THINK THEY RECOGNISED HOW WE WERE ABSOLUTELY IN AWE AND THAT PROBABLY HELPED v "UT DID THEY ENJOY THEIR LAST VISIT TO OUR lNE CITY !FTER ALL SAID TOUR IS NOW SYNONYMOUS WITH THE FEUD BETWEEN 4HE (ORRORS AND 4HE &RATELLIS h)F YOU PUT LOADS OF YOUNG GUYS OUT EVERY NIGHT GETTING PISSED THERE S BOUND TO BE TENSIONS BUT THERE WAS ALSO LOADS OF REALLY GOOD NIGHTS 7E HAD NO PROBLEMS WITH ANY OF THE BANDS ) THINK IT WAS A BIT OF HYPE THE MEDIA WANTING TO BUILD THINGS UP AND UNLESS EVERY ONE WAS THE BEST OF FRIENDS EVER THEY WERE GOING TO DO THAT BUT ) DON T THINK THERE WAS v 4HE -ACCABEES ARE OFTEN DE SCRIBED AS BEING QUINTESSENTIALLY "RITISH WITH /RLANDO WRITING PAR TICULARLY INTIMATE LYRICS h) VE AL WAYS FELT ESPECIALLY SINCE THESE ARE THE lRST BATCH OF SONGS WE VE WRIT TEN THAT THE ONES THAT ARE ON THE ALBUM AND THAT WE PLAY LIVE ARE THE ONES THAT WE THINK ARE THE BEST OB VIOUSLY ) THINK THE THING WITH WRIT ING LYRICS IS ) DON T KNOW ALL THE SONGS THAT ) VE WRITTEN AND THAT ) REALLY LIKE ARE REALLY INTIMATE ) LOVE 2UFUS AND -ARTHA 7AINWRIGHT ALL THOSE KIND OF FOLKY ;SONGWRITERS= LIKE .ICK $RAKE 4HEY VE GOT THAT THING OF YOU FEEL LIKE YOU VE GOT IT AND YOU RE THE ONLY ONE WHO UNDERSTANDS OR IT LL REMIND YOU OF A STORY AND THAT S PRETTY MUCH MY MENTALITY TRY AND TELL A BIT OF A STORY AND EXPLAIN IT AND KEEP IT TRUE TO WHAT ) VE EXPERIENCED /TH ERWISE YOU COME A CROPPER AND IT DOESN T RING TRUE v ! GOOD EXAM PLE OF /RLANDO S PERSONAL STYLE OF WRITING IS EVIDENT ON FAN FAVOURITE

h4HE 3TROKES WERE ALL VERY NICE TO US ) THINK THEY RECOG NISED HOW WE WERE ABSOLUTELY IN AWE AND THAT PROBABLY HELPED v

,ATCHMERE WHICH SPARKS A NEAR RIOT IN THE CROWD WHEN THE BAND PLAY LAT ER THAT EVENING h,ATCHMERE IS WHERE WE ALL LEARNT TO SWIM )F YOU RE FROM ROUND OUR AREA IN 3OUTH ,ONDON IF YOU HAVEN T BEEN THERE THEN YOU RE LYING EVERYONE S BEEN THERE ) THINK A FRIEND OF MINE SAID TO WRITE A SONG ABOUT SWIMMING AND THAT WAS THE ONLY THING THAT HAD ANY RELEVANCE )T S COOL WE GET PEOPLE COMING TO GIGS NOW SAYING THEY VE BEEN TO ,ATCHMERE 4HAT S COOL WE NEED TO KEEP THE PLACE ALIVE 4HE MORE PEO PLE WHO PISS IN THE SHALLOW END THE BETTER v (AVING RECENTLY BEEN ON TOUR INCESSANTLY 4HE -ACCABEES HAVE BEEN ABLE TO FORM CLOSE BONDS WITH MANY BANDS BUT WHO HAVE THEY GOT ALONG WITH BEST h7ELL ) THINK WE VE KNOWN *ACK 0ENATE THE LONGEST SO ) D SAY *ACK BECAUSE WE ALL USED TO PLAY ACOUSTIC GUITARS TOGETHER WHEN WE WERE 7E VE ALL JUST GROWN UP IN 3OUTH ,ONDON WHERE THERE WASN T ANY VENUES AND ISN T STILL REALLY v 4HE -ACCABEES DEBUT ALBUM SEEMS TO HAVE BEEN IN THE PIPELINE FOR AGES AND IS AWAITED WITH BAITED BREATH AS AN ALBUM OF 7HEN EXACTLY CAN FANS GET THEIR HANDS ON IT h)T S DONE IT S ALL DONE AND IT LL BE OUT TH -AY )T S TAKEN AN ABSOLUTE AGE "UT ) THINK IF WE D RELEASED IT AT THE BEGINNING OF THE YEAR ) DON T THINK IT WOULD HAVE HAD THE SAME OPPORTUNITIES AS IT HAS NOW BECAUSE WE VE BEEN ABLE TO TOUR A LOT MORE v 4HE ALBUM HAS BEEN PRODUCED BY TWO LEGENDARY PRODUCERS 3TEVEN 3TREET "LUR 4HE 3MITHS AND "EN (ILLIER "LUR h7E WERE CAREFUL TO CHOOSE THE RIGHT SONGS TO DO WITH EACH PERSON 3TEVE HAS A REPUTATION AND RIGHTLY SO FOR MAKING THINGS VERY CLEAN CUT AND POPPY AND "EN CREATES MORE OF AN ATMOSPHERE SO WE DID -ARY AND 4OOTHPASTE +ISSES WITH "EN AND THEN WE DID THE SINGLES ONES LIKE !BOUT 9OUR $RESS AND 0RECIOUS 4IME 7E TRIED TO DO IT THAT WAY BECAUSE THEY RE SO UNIQUE BUT BOTH REALLY ON TOP OF THEIR GAME AND YOU JUST WANT TO PLAY BETTER FOR THEM REALLY v !ND SO CONCLUDES 4HE %VENT S MEETING WITH /RLANDO 7EEKS AL THOUGH THE GENTLEMAN WILL lND US LATER TO HAND OUT BEER AND TEACH US TO PLAY &IRST ,OVE ON THE GUITAR 7E LOOK FORWARD TO THEIR FORTHCOMING GIG AT THE 7ATERFRONT WITH GREAT AN TICIPATION

-USIC

,IVE #OLD 7AR +IDS 3ATURDAY TH &EBRUARY !RTS #ENTRE

7HEN A #OLD 7AR +IDS GIG WAS SPONTANE OUSLY CANCELLED IN ,ONDON A COUPLE OF DAYS PREVIOUS TO THEIR !RTS #ENTRE HEADLINE SLOT THE PEOPLE WHO PULLED THE PLUG PRACTI CALLY PRE EMPTED HYSTERIA 4HEIR HIGHLY ANTICIPATED SHOW DISASTER MADE HEADLINES ACROSS THE MUSIC PRESS MAINLY DUE TO THE FACT THAT GLITZ N GLAMOUR LINED THE CROWD +ATE -OSS .OEL &IELDING !LEX 4URNER 9ES SIR THE STARS WERE OUT FOR THE #OLD 7AR +IDS IN ,ONDON 3O SEEING THAT .ORWICH !RTS #ENTRE THE MOST INTIMATE VENUE IN THE LOCAL REGION WAS THE NEXT STOPxWELL ANTICIPA TION WAS NEAR FEVER PITCH AND YOU JUST KNEW THEY D HAVE SOMETHING SPECIAL PLANNED !LTHOUGH WE KEPT OUR EYES PEELED THE NEAREST THING TO FAME THAT 4HE %VENT CAUGHT SIGHT OF WAS THAT BLOKE FROM /UTLINExBALLS %VEN SO SPIRITS REMAINED GLORIOUSLY HIGH WITH EXPECTATION DESPITE THE SUPPORT COM ING FROM NONE OTHER THAN 4INY $ANCERS THE FOUR PIECE THAT AIDED ,ARRIKIN ,OVE ON THE RECENT.ORWICH LEG OF THEIR TOUR 1UITE FRANKLY WE HAD ENOUGH OF THEIR "ON *OVI ESQUE BALLOON MASSACRING FOLK ROMP LAST TIME THEY WERE HERExAND TO THINK THAT 4O KYO 0OLICE #LUB WERE SUPPORTING IN ,ONDON WAVES lST WITH ANGER )T DIDN T TAKE THE CROWD LONG TO FORGET THE LAST HOUR OF THEIR LIVES THE MAJORITY

REMAINED PUMPED FOR THE MAIN EVENT !S .ATHAN 7ILLET LEADS HIS RAGGED TROUBADOURS OUT INTO THE LIMELIGHT EVERY ONLOOKER RESPONDS IN A GIGANTIC WAY TO ALBUM CLOSER 2UBIDOUX )T S ONLY SECONDS IN AND IT S ALREADY CLEAR THAT THIS BAND HAVE @BIG DEAL WRITTEN ALL OVER THEIR TUNES 4HE PACE AND ENERGY IS AT TIMES RELENTLESS IN FACT IT S HARD NOT TO BECOME MESMERIZED BY THEIR PLAY ING 7E SHOULD BE MOVING DANCING TO THEIR 2 " INFUSED RABBLE ROCK YET WE RE STUCK ROOTED TO THE GROUND IN AWE OF THEIR MEN TALIST PERCUSSION THE SMASHING OF BOTTLES THE BEATING OF STRAY CRASH CYMBALS HELL THE DRUMMER S PLAYING THE SNARE WITH SOME MA RACAS .EVER FROM WHAT WE VE EXPERIENCED HAVE DIABOLICALLY NOISY SPARKS OF PERCUSSION SOUNDED SO PERFECT !S THE FRAGILE BEAUTIFUL (OSPITAL "EDS RINGS AROUND THE BUILDING JAWS DROP TO THE mOOR AND A EUPHORIC TENDERNESS SWEEPS THE !RTS #ENTRE OFF ITS FEET IT S AN OBVIOUS HIGHLIGHT AND ONE THE CROWD ARE NOT LIKELY FORGET FOR A LONG LONG TIME 3OME BANDS TAKE YEARS TO PERFECT THEIR PLAYING OTHERS ARE JUST BORN WITH A RHYTHM AND MUSICAL INTELLIGENCE THAT YOUR AVERAGE +OOK WOULD DIE FOR &ILE #OLD 7AR +IDS UNDER THE LATTER 4HESE FOLKS ARE GOING TO BE AROUND FOR AN AGE 4HEIR MUSIC MAY BE RIDDEN WITH ANXI

ETY NERVOUSNESS AND FEAR BUT TONIGHT THEY SPARK HOPE ENJOYMENT AND AWE IN A EXCIT ABLE !RTS #ENTRE CROWD

&OR THAT LADS WE SALUTE YOU 'REG 3ULLIVAN

#33

-ICHAEL "AILEY

-ONDAY TH *ANUARY 7ATERFRONT

3ATURDAY TH &EBRUARY " "RICKMAKERS

%MERGING ON THE STAGE SWATHED IN BLACK SHEETS ARE "RAZILIAN SIX PIECE #33 #ANSEI $E 3ER 3EXY n @4IRED OF "EING 3EXY AND THE ROOF OF THE 7ATERFRONT GETS WELL AND TRULY BLOWN OFF 4HE CROWD HAS BEEN IMPATIENTLY LINGERING FOR WHAT SEEMS LIKE AN AGE BEFORE IT BECOMES ABUNDANTLY CLEAR THAT GOOD THINGS DO INDEED COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT 4HEY QUIETLY BUILD UP INTO THEIR lRST SONG A COVER OF 5NLIMITED S .O ,IMIT THAT IS INlNITELY TRENDIER THAN THE ORIGINAL AND EVENTUALLY HIT FULL VOLUME DISPATCHING THEIR DISGUISES AND LAUNCHING INTO ALBUM OPENER #33 3UXXX &RANTIC AND IMMENSE JUST DOESN T DO THE OCCASION JUSTICE /F COURSE IT S JUST ANOTHER GIG FOR THEM BUT THERE S A FEELING OF JUBILATION THE CROWD IS DANCING AS IF A TEN YEAR BAN ON IT HAS RECENTLY BEEN LIFTED #33 ARE SENDING OUT SOME SORT OF POSITIVE INVIGORATING ENERGY THAT TURNS THE

NIGHT INTO ONE BIG SHINDIG 3INGER ,OVEFOXXX SKIPS AROUND THE STAGE LIKE A GIDDY SCHOOL GIRL UNLEASHING GLITTER FROM HER HANDS AND HAIR CROWD SURlNG AND TELLING EVERYONE CONSTANTLY THAT hTHEY ARE BEAUTIFULv AND hWE JUST WANNA PARTYv 3HE S ONE SAUCY MAMA 3OUNDING LIKE A FUNKY 'O 4EAM WITH ABSOLUTELY NO PRETENSIONS #33 DRILL THROUGH THEIR SET WHILE REmECTING THE CROWD S EVER WIDENING SMILES 5PCOMING SINGLE /FF THE (OOK IS FULL OF SO MUCH MORE LIFE THAN ON RECORD THE RINGING GUITAR ECHOING ROUND THE ROOM EFFORTLESSLY #ROWD FAVOURITES ,ET S -AKE ,OVE AND ,ISTEN 4O $EATH &ROM !BOVE AND !LCOHOL DON T DISAPPOINT EITHER WITH ,OVEFOXXX S INFECTIOUS LYRICS CAPTIVATING ALL WHO MANAGE TO ACTUALLY PULL THEMSELVES AWAY FROM THE PASSION THAT THE OVERWHELMING ATMOSPHERE HAS LED THEM INTO AND ACTUALLY LISTEN $RUMMER !DRIANO HOPS ONTO GUITAR FOR A FEW TRACKS ADDING A -ACARENA CHANT IN FOR GOOD MEASURE BUT IT S lRMLY IN SYNC WITH THE REST OF THE NIGHT S FESTIVITIES 7HAT BECOMES SADLY EVIDENT TO EVERYONE UPON LEAVING IS THAT THE SELF TITLED DEBUT ALBUM WILL NEVER SOUND THE SAME AGAIN ! VERY DECENT RECORD IS MADE TO SOUND SOMEWHAT mAT BY THEIR EXUBERANT LIVE ACT "UT #33 2ULE +IERAN #ORNWELL

.ORWICH SINGER SONGWRITER -ICHAEL "AILEY HAS BEEN AROUND IN HIS MUSICAL BUBBLE FOR SOME TIME NOW 7ITH THE IMMINENT RELEASE OF HIS SECOND ALBUM LAST 3ATURDAY S GIG AT " GAVE A PEEK AT SOME OF ITS SECRETS 4HE LONELY AND MELODIC 'OOD %VENING OPENS PROCEEDINGS BEFORE THE PACE QUICKENS WITH TWO OLDER TRACKS AN EXPLOSIVE LIVE RENDITION OF 0RELUDE AND QUIRKY KAZOO LADEN -OON 3TAR $AY ,IGHT SETS THINGS UP NICELY FOR THE NEW SONGS TO MAKE THEIR HEAVYWEIGHT ENTRANCEx AND THEY DID NOT DISAPPOINT 3PARK IN YOUR %YE BEGINS WITH CHIMING GUITARS AND A LULLABY BASS LINE AS -ICHAEL S VOICE SOOTHES 9OU VE NEVER BEEN MORE THAN lVE HOURS FROM DISASTER NOW THERE S A WONDERFUL SHIMMERING SPARK IN YOUR EYE .EXT COMES 3INCE AND 3O /N AND IN THIS ONE SONG THE VOLATILE DYNAMICS AND EMOTIONAL EPIPHANIES THAT -ICHAEL WRITES SO WELL QUICKLY EMBRACE HIS MATURING SONG WRITING #HURNING DRUMS AND lDGETING BASS ACCOMPANY A LAMENT FOR AN ANONYMOUS TEENAGE GIRL ! CORROSIVE GUITAR SOLO SIGNALS THE SONG S KNIFE EDGE BEFORE IT DELVES INTO A HUGE COMFORT BLANKET FOR THE AUDIENCE TO WRAP ITSELF UP IN (ERE FOR A CONSPICUOUS MOMENT -ICHAEL S POINTEDLY REASSURING VOCAL MELODY AND DELICATE ACOUSTIC GUITAR TOUCHES SOMETHING DEEP WITHIN EVERY PERSON

PRESENT 4HE SET IS SEALED WITH &ALLING IN ,OVE WITH 2USALKA WHICH CONlDENTLY PROVES THAT TRIGGERING EMOTION IS JUST ONE OF THE TOOLS -ICHAEL POSSESSES HE CAN SKIN A CAT WITH HIS CYNICISM TOO )T IS NO LIE -ICHAEL IS IN HIS ELEMENT WHEN PERFORMING LIVE 4HE USUAL TROUBLES THAT FOLLOW A NINE MONTH RECORDING BREAK DID NOT TAINT THE VERY TANGIBLE SENSE OF ANTICIPATION FOR THE NEW ALBUM /N THIS EVIDENCE IT SEEMS THAT WE AIN T SEEN OR INDEED HEARD NOTHING YETx &OR MORE INFO ON THIS WEEKgS LOCAL SHOWCASE CHECK OUT WWW MICHAELJBAILEY CO UK WWW MYSPACE COM MICHAELBAILEY ,EWIS -ORTON

THE EVENT

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-AIN &EATURE (OT &UZZ $IR %DGAR 7RIGHT

3UPER COP .ICHOLAS !NGEL 3IMON 0EGG IS A BOBBY SO GOOD THAT HE MAKES THE REST OF THE FORCE LOOK BAD 4O PUT AN END TO THIS !N GEL S SUPERIORS RE ASSIGN HIM TO THE SLEEPY VILLAGE OF 3ANDFORD WHERE HE IS TEAMED UP WITH LOVABLE YET

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BUMBLING 0# $ANNY "UTTERMAN THE EVER DEPENDABLE .ICK &ROST (OWEVER 3ANDFORD MAY NOT BE AS QUIET AS APPEARANCES WOULD SUG GEST n THERE IS MURDER AFOOT AND !NGEL INTENDS TO CATCH THE KILLER 4HE LAST TIME 0EGG AND DIREC

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TOR %DGAR 7RIGHT TEAMED UP THEY PRODUCED A MODESTLY BUDGETED LIT TLE @ROM ZOM COM CALLED 3HAUN OF THE $EAD 9OU MAY HAVE HEARD OF IT 4HREE YEARS ON FOLLOW UP (OT &UZZ ARRIVES WITH A WEIGHT OF EXPECTATION ON ITS SHOULDERS THAT ITS ILLUSTRIOUS

PREDECESSOR DIDN T HAVE TO DEAL WITH (OT &UZZ TO BEGIN WITH AT LEAST IS BURDENED BY 3HAUN S LONG SHADOW n BUT EVENTUALLY lNDS ITS WAY WITH ITS BEST MOMENTS EQUAL LING THOSE OF ITS UNDEAD BIGGER BROTHER (OT &UZZ IS WEAKEST IN THE OPENING HALF HOUR 4HE STORY TAKES ITS TIME GETTING GOING THE PLOT ONLY REALLY ABLE TO BEGIN WHEN THE LARGE CAST OF CHARACTERS HAS BEEN INTRODUCED 4HE LAUGHS WHILST NOT SPARSE NEVER HIT TOO HARD IN THE lRST HALF WITH THE lLM SEEMINGLY CONTENT TO BE GENTLY FUNNY RATHER THAN COMPLETELY HILARIOUS !NGEL IS ALSO A HARD CHARACTER TO ROOT FOR A JOBSWORTH COPPER IS HARDLY THE MOST SYMPATHETIC OF PROTAGONISTS 3EEING 0EGG PLAYING THE STRAIGHT MAN TAKES SOME GETTING USED TO BUT THIS MAKES COMPLETE SENSE WHEN HE IS lNALLY TEAMED UP WITH &ROST THE PAIR HAVING PERFECTED THEIR DOUBLE ACT WORKING ON 3PACED AND 3HAUN !ROUND THE HOUR MARK (OT &UZZ BEGINS TO GET FUNNIER AS THE PLOT MATURES AND THINGS BEGIN TO PAY OFF 3OME TERRIlCALLY GORY KILL INGS TEMPER THE LAUGHS WITH SHOCKS AND THE WHOLE AFFAIR JUST BECOMES MORE FUN 4HE lLM BEGINS TO CUT

LOOSE FULlLLING ITS COMEDIC PROM ISE TO THE FULL BY PLAYING WITH AC TION MOVIE CONVENTIONS IN ITS SLEEPY VILLAGE SETTING "Y THE TIME THE RIDICULOUSLY EXCESSIVE lNALE ARRIVES THE WEAKER OPENING IS EX CUSED ENTIRELY AS BUILD UP AS %DGAR 7RIGHT SHOOTS THE WHOLE THING WITH HIS USUAL STYLE AND GUSTO 4HE SIGHT OF 0EGG DROP KICKING A PENSIONER IN THE FACE IS WORTH THE PRICE OF ADMISSION ALONE )NDEED THE LAST HALF HOUR OF THE MOVIE IS IN TERMS OF SUSTAINED LAUGHTER THE FUNNIEST THAT CINEMA HAS SEEN FOR SOME TIME (OT &UZZ EXCELS IN ITS CASTING THE MOVIE IS STUFFED WITH PRIME "RITISH TALENT &ROM EX // 4IMO THY $ALTON S TURN AS A SHADY SUPER MARKET MANAGER TO *IM "ROADBENT AS !NGEL S KINDLY BOSS THE MOVIE IS PRACTICALLY A WHO S WHO OF TALENTED "RIT CHARACTER ACTORS /VERALL DESPITE THE ANTICIPA TION AND SLIGHTLY SHAKY lRST HALF (OT &UZZ IS A VERY FUNNY lLM AND A WORTHY FOLLOW UP TO 3HAUN OF THE $EAD )F NOTHING ELSE (OT &UZZ IS THE BEST MOVIE YOU WILL SEE THIS YEAR THAT INVOLVES A SHOOT OUT IN 3OMERlELD AND PENSIONERS LETTING RIP WITH AUTOMATIC WEAPONS

#INEFILE 3TAR 4REK 7RATH OF +HAN ! 3TAR 4REK MOVIE .O WAY MATE THAT RUBBISH IS FOR GEEKS AND GEEKS ALONE 5SUALLY YOU MIGHT BE RIGHT n 3TAR 4REK UNLIKE 3TAR 7ARS HAS NEVER TRULY ESCAPED ITS CULT ORIGINS 9OU RARELY GET COOL POINTS DOWN THE PUB FOR KNOWING WHO -R 3POCK IS (OWEVER 4HE 7RATH OF +HAN IS DIFFERENT +HAN IS A GREAT CHAR ACTER DRIVEN MOVIE THAT S MORE CONCERNED WITH ITS CHARACTERS AND DRAMATIC THEMES THAN PHASERS OR TRANSPORTERS )T S ALSO A GREAT ACTION MOVIE FEATURING SOME INCREDIBLY EXCITING SPACE BATTLES (OLD ON WHAT ON %ARTH IS IT ALL ABOUT 7HO S THIS +HAN BLOKE ANYWAY +HAN 2ICARDO -ONTALBAN IS AN OLD ENEMY OF !DMIRAL +IRK 7IL LIAM 3HATNER +HAN WAS STRANDED BY +IRK ON A DESOLATE PLANET YEARS BEFORE BUT NOW HE AND HIS FOLLOW

ERS HAVE STOLEN A SHIP AND ESCAPED THEIR PRISON #ONSUMED WITH HATE AND THE DESIRE FOR REVENGE +HAN TRACKS DOWN +IRK AND HIS SHIP THE %NTERPRISE FOR A lNAL SHOW DOWNx 3OUNDS DRAMATIC )T IS 4HE lLM DEALS WITH BIG ISSUES OF LIFE DEATH GROWING OLD AND REVENGE )T S A DARK AND EMOTION ALLY COMPLEX MOVIE n WITH A SHOCK ENDING THAT WON T LEAVE A DRY EYE IN THE HOUSE )T S NOT ALL GLOOM THOUGH THE CAST WHO HAD WORKED TOGETHER FOR YEARS ALL HAVE GREAT CHEMISTRY PRODUCING SOME GENU INELY AMUSING AND AFFECTIONATE MOMENTS )T SOUNDS OK BIG BATTLES GREAT STORY CHARACTER DRIVEN DRAMA "UT IT S STILL 3TAR 4REK .OT COOL 9OU MIGHT NOT HAVE NOTICED BUT

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+HAN IS ENDLESSLY REFERRED TO ON 3OUTH 0ARK WHICH SURELY MAKES IT COOL 4HE MOVIE IS ENDLESSLY QUOT ABLE hTHE NEEDS OF THE MANY OUT

WEIGH THE NEEDS OF THE FEWv AND h+HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN v ANYONE 4HE lNAL ARGUMENT COMES FROM AN EPISODE OF 3OUTH 0ARK IN WHICH

3TAN UTTERS THE IMMORTAL LINE h"I BLE 7RATH OF +HAN WHAT S THE DIF FERENCE v )T REALLY IS THAT GOOD ,IAM / "RIEN

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"ECAUSE ) 3AID 3O $IR -ICHAEL ,EHMANN 2ELEASED $IANE +EATON AND -ANDY -OORE PLAY MOTHER AND DAUGHTER THE FORMER INTERFERING AND NEUROTIC AND TRYING DESPERATELY TO CONTROL THE SUFFERING LOVE LIFE OF THE LATTER "ECAUSE ) 3AID 3O OFFERS A ST CENTURY UPDATE OF MORE TYPICAL PARENT DAUGHTER RELATIONSHIPS PORTRAYED IN ROM COMS WITH INSTEAD A SINGLE

MOTHER ACTING GUARDIAN AGAINST UNTRUSTWORTHY MEN 4HE PROBLEM IS THAT MOTHER $APHNE CAN T ADMIT HER CONCERNS COME FROM HER OWN FEELINGS ABOUT BEING ALONE ON HER TH BIRTHDAY +EATON AND -OORE ARE IMMENSELY LIKEABLE AND DISPLAY ALL THE RIGHT INGREDIENTS AS SUCCESSFUL COMIC ACTORS )T IS TRULY ONLY THEIR TALENT AND CHARISMA IN THEIR ECCENTRIC ROLES WHICH SAVE THE lLM FROM A DECIDEDLY MEDIOCRE SCRIPT )N THE CREEPY FORMULA OF

TELEVISION SHOWS SUCH AS $ATE -Y $AUGHTER $APHNE PLACES A PERSONAL ADD TO THE SAME EFFECT 3HE RECEIVES INTEREST FROM A VARIETY OF UNDESIRABLES BAR ONE GOOD LOOKING ARCHITECT WHO SHE SIGHTS AS A HUSBAND FOR HER DAUGHTER -ILLY 7HAT MAKES *ASON S APPLICATION BELIEVABLE IS HIS LACK OF PERSONALITY ALLOWING HIS LOVE RIVAL SINGLE PARENT AND MUSICIAN *OHNNY TO APPEAR IN COMPARISON IMMENSELY INTERESTING LOVEABLE AND CARING !LTHOUGH AS WITH EVERYONE OTHER THAN THE LEADS WE SEE LITTLE DIMENSION TO HIS CHARACTER $ESPITE THE lLM S DElNITE mAWS FOR SOME GIRLY VIEWING IT HAS RECOMMENDABLE QUALITIES THE SUPERIOR LOVE INTEREST *OHNNY WHO HAS MUCH TO OFFER AESTHETICALLY AT LEAST OR THE LIKEABLE CRAZINESS OF $APHNE AND -ILLY &INALLY -OORE PROVES (OLLYWOOD ACTRESSES DON T NEED TO BE A SIZE TO BE GORGEOUS %MMA &EATHERSTONE

PROVOKING 3AID GIRL IS *ESSICA "IEL WHO PROVES TO BE MORE THAN JUST EYE CANDY IN HER lRST REAL STAB AT SE RIOUS ACTING /THER DEVICES ARE ALSO EMPLOYED THAT GIVES THE SLOW BURNING STORY LINE AN ENGROSSING EDGE INCLUDING 'IAMATTI S NARRATION 4HIS KEEPS THE AUDIENCE AT A DISTANCE FROM .OR TON S CHARACTER SLOWLY UNRAVELLING HIS MYSTERIES BEFORE "URGER S SMART DIRECTION DIVULGES INTO HIS PERSONAL LIFE REVEALING A SOMEWHAT TRAGIC UPBRINGING 1UESTIONS OF TRUTH AND

ILLUSION AS EXPECTED ARE RAISED AND NATURALLY THERE S A FEW TRICKS PLAYED IN BOTH CONTENT AND STYLE INCLUD ING AN EFFECTIVE USAGE OF CHRONO LOGICAL TAMPERING )TS SWAYING PACE BECOMES A BIT TOO MUCH ON OCCA SIONS HIGHLIGHTING DETAILS ALREADY LONG ESTABLISHED BUT IN OTHER AREAS SERVES TO MANIPULATE AUDIENCE EX PECTATION OF WHAT WILL COME NEXT ! SIMPLE STORY THAT SLOWLY ELABORATES MAINTAINS INTEREST THROUGHOUT AND IS DElNITELY ONE TO SAVOUR +IERAN #ORNWELL

&ANNING WHO LOVES AND BABIES HIM "UT 7ILBUR NEARS THE CHOPPING BLOCK UNTIL HE S SAVED AGAIN THIS TIME BY #HARLOTTE *ULIA 2OBERTS THE SPIDER WHO SPINS WORDS INTO HER WEB DESCRIBING 7ILBUR 4AKEN IN THE SPIRIT IN WHICH % " 7HITE WROTE THE NOVEL THIS lLM VERSION IS A SWEET RENDERING OF THE CLASSIC STORY OF FRIENDSHIP LOYALTY AND LOVE AND THANKFULLY IS NOT TOO OVERPOWERINGLY SENTIMENTAL OR PREACHY ABOUT JUDGING OTHERS BY LOOKS AND GROWING UP ALTHOUGH

COMING CLOSE AT TIMES -ERCIFULLY &ANNING DOESN T LAY ON THE PERFORMANCE TOO THICK ALTHOUGH SHE S A LITTLE ANNOYING SOMETIMES 2OBERTS FAR OVERSHADOWS HER HOWEVER LENDING A COMFORTING MOTHERLY TONE TO #HARLOTTE AS SHE BEFRIENDS AND CARES FOR 7ILBUR 3TEVE "USCEMI IS ALSO PERFECT AS THE VOICE OF 4EMPLETON THE RAT AND WHERE WOULD BARNYARD COMEDY BE WITHOUT *OHN #LEESE 4HERE ARE A FEW MOMENTS THAT ARE ACTUALLY FUNNY AND STEER THE lLM CLEAR OF OVERWHELMING SLUSHINESS 4HE #') AND ANIMATRONICS ARE WELL DONE SO LIKE &ERN WE CAN BELIEVE IN ANTHROPOMORPHISED ANIMALS IF WE WATCH IN THE RIGHT FRAME OF MIND 4HE NARRATION IS A LITTLE CLOYING AT TIMES THOUGH BUT HAPPILY THERE S NOT MUCH OF IT !LL TOLD A NICE STROLL DOWN MEMORY LANE (OLLY #URTIS

4HE )LLUSIONIST $IR .EIL "URGER 2ELEASED &OLLOWING HOT ON THE HEELS OF LAST YEAR S SUCCESSFUL 4HE 0RESTIGE IS AN OTHER MAGICALLY ORIENTATED OFFERING .OT BEING QUITE AS SPECTACULAR AS ITS ACQUAINTANCE SHOULD NOT HINDER 4HE )LLUSIONIST FROM BRINGING IN THE CROWDS THOUGH AS IT IS ULTIMATELY A VERY AMIABLE EFFORT 3TARRING %DWARD .ORTON AND 0AUL 'IAMATTI AS %ISEN HEIM THE )LLUSIONIST AND THE CHAR ASMATIC )NSPECTOR 5HL RESPECTIVELY GIVES THE lLM A WEALTH OF TALENT AND EXPERIENCE THAT DIRECTOR .EIL "URGER FULLY CAPITALISES ON "OTH PROVIDE VERY COMMENDABLE AND MORE IM PORTANTLY SELmESS PERFORMANCES THAT SEEK TO ENHANCE THE @BOY MEETS UNATTAINABLE GIRL AND FALLS IN LOVE @PLOT INTO SOMETHING MORE THOUGHT

#HARLOTTE S 7EB $IR 'ARY 7INICK 2ELEASED ,EAVE YOUR CYNICISM AT THE DOOR AND EMBRACE YOUR HAPPY INNER CHILD 4ALKING ANIMALS UNLIKELY FRIENDSHIPS AND A YEAR THAT SEEMS TO GO ON FOREVER WHISK YOU DEEP INTO CHILDHOOD MEMORIES 3PRING PIG 7ILBUR $OMINIC 3COTT +AY IS SAVED FROM THE USUAL RUNT FATE BY &ERN !RABLE $AKOTA

'OAL $IR *AUME #OLLET 3ERRA 2ELEASED &OR THE FEW WHO HAVE SEEN THE ORIGINAL 'OAL THIS SECOND INSTALMENT PICKS UP WHERE THE LAST ONE LEFT OFF (AVING SINGLE HANDEDLY SECURED .EWCASTLE A #HAMPION S ,EAGUE SPOT THAT S RIGHT 3ANTIAGO -UNEZ SECURES A LUCRATIVE DEAL WITH 2EAL -ADRID 4HE lLM FOLLOWS A lCTIONAL BIO PIC FORMAT n A YEAR IN THE LIFE OF THE -EXICAN FOOTBALLING SENSATION IS DELICATELY COMPRESSED INTO ONE FOOTBALL MATCH LENGTH PRODUCTION *UAME #OLLET 3ERRA (OUSE OF 7AX TAKES OVER DIRECTING WITH lNESSE 7HEREAS THE TRAINING AND GAME SEQUENCES IN THE lRST WERE A CLUMSY MIX OF ARCHIVE FOOTAGE AND ACTUAL CHOREOGRAPHED ACTION PRODUCERS SEEM TO HAVE BEEN GRANTED ADDED FREEDOM IN 'OAL WITH -UNEZ RELAXING EVEN BONDING WITH THE 2EAL -ADRID STARS

4HE 'OOD 3HEPHERD $IR 2OBERT $E .IRO 2ELEASED 4HE 'OOD 3HEPHERD FOCUSES ON THE #)! S EARLY BEGINNINGS AS THE TINY /FlCE OF 3TRATEGIC 3ERVICES THROUGH THE 3ECOND 7ORLD 7AR AND TO ITS EVOLUTION INTO A #OLD 7AR ERA AGENCY MANEUVERING AGAINST THE +'" 0LACED BEFORE THE +ENNEDY !DMINISTRATION THE lLM TAKES A PERSONAL STANCE ON THE ESPIONAGE BETRAYALS DOUBLE CROSS INGS AND mUID ALLEGIANCES OF THE AGENCY THROUGH THE EYES OF %DWARD 7ILSON -ATT $AMON $AMON CREATES A TRULY EMO TIONALLY VACANT MAN WHO SHOWS LITTLE SENTIMENT WHEN IT IS NEEDED THE MOST 7ILSON IS SMART CALCULAT ING AND GUARDED BUT NEVER REALLY LIKEABLE AS A PROTAGONIST 7E FEEL FOR HIM AS WE SEE HIS LIFE PROGRESS BUT EVEN AT THE END HE IS STONE FACED ULTIMATELY SHOWING US WHAT

$ESPITE ATTEMPTS TO SPICE UP THE NARRATIVE WHAT LITTLE CONmICT ARISES STEMS FROM DOMESTIC ISSUES AND -UNEZ S STRUGGLES TO ADAPT TO LIFE IN 3PAIN 7HAT MAKES UP FOR THIS HOWEVER IS SOME OF THE MOST BEAUTIFULLY COMPOSED FOOTBALLING SEQUENCES EVER BROUGHT TO THE BIG SCREEN )T S FOOTBALL IN AN ARTISTIC CINEMATIC REPRESENTATION n EVERY KICK SOUNDS LIKE A CANNON BLAST EVERY PLAYED BALL SPINS AT RPS n BUT IT WORKS 4HERE ARE UNDENIABLE mAWS WITH THE MOVIE &OR ONE 3TEVE -C-ANAMAN IS AN ASSOCIATE PRODUCER $ESPITE HAVING NO SCRIPTED LINES $AVID "ECKHAM SOMEHOW APPEARS IN EVERY SHOT PERHAPS A CONDITION OF HIS INCLUSION WITHIN THE MOVIE !T ONE POINT THE CAMERA SHAMELESSLY PANS ACROSS A TATTOO ON "ECKHAM S BACK "UT IF YOU TAKE 'OAL FOR WHAT IT IS A SIMPLE FOOTBALLING FEEL GOOD AFFAIR IT SATISlES AND EVEN CHARMS *OHN -UTCH

#)! MEN HAVE TO BE TO PROTECT THEIR COUNTRY ABOVE ALL ELSE $IRECTOR 2OBERT $E .IRO SUC CEEDS DRAWING THE VIEWER INTO THE FASCINATING WORLD HE HAS CREATED AND ENSNARING THEM RIGHT UNTIL THE END AND THE CREDITS ROLL 4HOUGH THE lLM IS JUST SHORT OF THREE HOURS YOU NEVER FEEL A LULL IN THE ACTION %ACH SCENE IS INTEGRAL TO THE PLOT ENABLING US TO SEE HOW 7ILSON DEVELOPS AND THE lLM MANAGES TO BLEND THE DOMESTIC AND INTERNA TIONAL SIDES OF HIS LIFE WITH SKILL )T IS VERY MUCH A CEREBRAL MOVIE AND THOUGH IT HAS A FEW MOMENTS OF COMEDY EMBEDDED WITHIN IT IT MAINTAINS A SERIOUS TONE THROUGH OUT TO REmECT THE SUBJECT MATTER 4HE LACK OF EMOTION OF ITS PRO TAGONIST DISTANCES THE VIEWER AND SOMEWHAT LOOSES SOME STRENGTH HOWEVER 4HE 'OOD 3HEPHERD RE MAINS A CAPTIVATING PLOT RICH AND INTELLIGENT lLM WITH EXCELLENT USE OF GRAINY WAR TIME FOOTAGE WHICH MUST BE SEEN .ATASHA +UNDAIKER

THE EVENT

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! "RIDGE 4OO &AR 4HE 'REAT %SCAPE "ATTLE /F "RITAIN $IR 6ARIOUS 2ELEASED TH #ENTURY &OX (OME %NTERTAINMENT

! "RIDGE 4OO &AR &ILMS LIKE THE THREE HERE ARE SO MUCH MORE THAN SIMPLY TWO AND HALF HOURS OF CINEMA 4HEY ARE CULTURAL REFERENCES WHICH GO A LONG WAY TO EXPLAINING "RITISH SOCIETY S OBSESSION WITH THE 3ECOND 7ORLD 7AR 7HEN EVENTS LIKE THE "ATTLE OF "RITAIN /PERATION -ARKET 'ARDEN AND THE PRISON CAMP 3TULAG ,UF )))

ARE MADE IMMEDIATE IN THIS WAY IT S HARD NOT TO GET CAUGHT UP IN THE SPIRIT OF NATIONALISTIC TRIUMPH "EFORE WE RIDE ANY FURTHER ON THESE WAVES OF JINGOISTIC FERVOUR WE D BETTER REVIEW THE lLMS 4HE STANDOUT lLM OF THE THREE IS 4HE 'REAT %SCAPE 4HIS IN NO WAY DISCREDITS THE OTHER TWO AS IT MUST

BE CONSIDERED AS ONE OF THE BEST WAR lLMS OF ALL TIME 4HE 'REAT %SCAPE LITERALLY HAS IT ALL AN ALL STAR CAST CLASSIC SCORE AND OF COURSE THAT MOTORBIKE CHASE 4HE lLM STRIKES A GREAT BALANCE BETWEEN THE MOMENTS OF CLASSICALLY "RITISH HUMOUR AND INCREDIBLE POIGNANCY )T CONTRASTS THE TRAGEDY OF MEN

LIKE )VES DRIVEN INSANE BY SOLITARY CONlNEMENT WITH THE INTENSE CAMARADERIE OF A 0 / 7 CAMP PERSONIlED BY THE STIFF UPPER LIP APPROACH OF #APT 2AMSEY 1UITE FRANKLY IF YOU HAVEN T SEEN THIS lLM YOU RE A BUFFOON )T S A LANDMARK OF "RITISH CULTURE AND MAKES YOU FEEL WARM AND FUZZY INSIDE 4HE "ATTLE OF "RITAIN DOES EXACTLY WHAT IT SAYS ON THE TIN )T RETELLS THE AIRBORNE STRUGGLE PAYING SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE ANTICS OF INDIVIDUAL SQUADRONS 4HE UNIQUE MIXTURE OF BOREDOM AND TERROR THAT ACCOMPANIED WAITING FOR THE ORDER TO SCRAMBLE IS BRILLIANTLY PORTRAYED BUT THIS HIGHLIGHTS THE lLM S BIGGEST STRENGTH AS WELL AS ITS BIGGEST WEAKNESS WHICH IS THE INTEGRITY OF THE DIRECTION 4HERE IS NONE OF THE CLASSIC (OLLYWOOD @ONE MAN AGAINST AN ARMY PORTRAYAL OF WARFARE STARS WHO YOU ASSUME WILL LAST THE DURATION OF THE lLM ARE ABRUPTLY KILLED OFF DESPITE SEEMING

ALL BUT INVINCIBLE MOMENTS BEFORE 4HIS IS WHAT MARKS OUT 4HE "ATTLE OF "RITAIN AS MORE OF A lLM FOR THE PURIST ! "RIDGE 4OO &AR IS AN IMPORTANT DEPARTURE IN THE CANON OF "RITISH WAR lLMS )T SHOWS THAT DESPITE THE FACT THAT MOST OF THE PEOPLE INVOLVED WITH THE WAR EFFORT WERE HEROES THEY WERE ALSO FALLIBLE )T ALSO HIGHLIGHTS THE mAWS OF THE STIFF UPPER LIP SPIRIT THAT CHARACTERISES "RITISH WAR lLMS 4HE lLM DOCUMENTS A CHAIN OF ERRORS THAT LED TO /PERATION -ARKET 'ARDEN BECOMING A DISASTER 4HIS BOX SET IS THE WAR lLM EXPERIENCE 2EALLY YOU COULDN T CHOOSE THREE MORE COMPLIMENTARY CLASSIC WAR lLMS &ROM THE PAINSTAKING ATTENTION TO DETAIL OF 4HE "ATTLE OF "RITAIN TO THE REVISIONISM OF ! "RIDGE 4OO &AR AND THE SHEER CLASS OF 4HE 'REAT %SCAPE THIS IS WHAT WAR lLMS ARE ALL ABOUT !NDY *ONES

$6$ 2ELEASES 4HE (OST $IR "ONG *OON HO 2ELEASED /PTIMUM (OME %NTERTAINMENT #ARELESS DUMPING OF FORMALDE HYDE IN THE (AN 2IVER SPAWNS A MONSTROUS MUTANT WHO RAMPAG ES THROUGH A 3OUTH +OREAN CITY PLUNGING IT INTO CHAOS REMINISCENT OF THE 3!23 CRISIS IN THIS FRANTICALLY PACED HORROR MOVIE $ARK SEW ERS AND MISERABLE WEATHER COM PLEMENT THE INSIDIOUS #') RIVER MONSTER !LIEN S LARGER CUMBER

SOME COUSIN EFFECTIVELY AND THE HUMANITY OF THE ACTORS OVERRIDES THE ARTIlCE ! YOUNG GIRL BELIEVED TO BE EATEN IN THE MONSTER S SEWER LARDER CALLS HER FATHER QUARANTINED IN HOSPITAL AFTER CONTACT WITH THE INFECTED BEAST WHO ESCAPES WITH ALL THE FAMILY IN A DISINFECTANT TRUCK TO lND HER 4HEY ENCOUNTER STREET GANGS AND CORRUPT OFlCIALS CAPITALISING ON THE DISORDER (U MAN PANIC IS GIVEN SLAPSTICK TREAT MENT FOR LIGHT RELIEF AND THE MUSI CAL SCORE MATCHES THE QUIRKY TWISTS AND MANIC ACTION WITHOUT BEING TOO SERIOUS AND BROODING PRODUC ING A REFRESHINGLY ENJOYABLE MON STER mICK ,AURA -ARSHALL

4HE (OST

THE EVENT

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2ELEASED %NTERTAINMENT )N 6IDEO )T HAS 3NAKES AND A PLANE AND 3AMUEL , *ACKSON &RANKLY WHAT MORE COULD YOU ASK FOR IN A lLM 7HILST THE IMMENSE INTERNET HYPE THAT WENT INTO TURNING THE lLM INTO A PHENEMENON COULD DETRACT FROM ITS IMPACT THERE S NO DENYING THAT 3NAKES ON A 0LANE IS A HELL OF A LOT OF FUN )T HAS AMONGST OTHER THINGS A MAN WHO GETS ATTACKED BY A SNAKE WHILST ON THE TOILET AND ANOTHER INCIDENT WHERE A PYTHON SWALLOWS A PERSON WHOLE ) MEAN HOW COOL IS THAT "AD ACTING WORSE EFFECTS AND SOME DODGY CAMERAWORK ARE NOTICEABLE BUT ONLY THE LAST IS REALLY A PROBLEM )F YOU EXPECT lLMS TO HAVE MEANING AND SUBSTANCE THEN OBVIOUSLY 3NAKES ON A 0LANE HARDLY SEEMS THE lLM FOR YOU "UT AS PURE ADRENALINE FUELLED ENTERTAINMENT IT IS TRULY WORTH A WATCH !S PART OF THE COMEDY HORROR TREND THAT IS AROUND AT THE MOMENT 3NAKES ON A 0LANE IS UP THERE WITH 3LITHER AND %IGHT ,EGGED &REAKS !NDY *UDSON

-ULHOLLAND $RIVE $IR $AVID ,YNCH 2ELEASED /PTIMUM (OME %NTERTAINMENT $IRECTOR $AVID ,YNCH S PSYCHOLOGICAL THRILLER -ULHOLLAND $RIVE IS BY NO MEANS AN EASY VIEWING 4HE AUDIENCE PLACED OFTEN IN A VOYEURISTIC ROLE FOLLOWS .AOMI 7ATTS AS ASPIRING ACTRESS "ETTY %LMS 7ATTS ARRIVES IN (OLLYWOOD DESCRIBING IT AS A @DREAM PLACE THOUGH BEHIND THE FRIVOLITY THERE IS AN INHERENTLY NIGHTMARISH ATMOSPHERE (ER SEEMINGLY COINCIDENTAL FRIENDSHIP

WITH AMNESIAC @2ITA PLAYED BY ,AURA (ARRING SEES THE TWO ATTEMPT TO RETURN THE LATTER S MEMORY /THER CHARACTERS SUCH AS *USTIN 4HOREAUX S TROUBLED DIRECTOR !DAM +ESHER ARE INTRODUCED AS UNCONNECTED TO THE STORY YET ARE LATER SHOWN TO BE OTHERWISE &IGURATIVE JOURNEYS PARALLEL 7ATTS AND (ARRING S LITERAL ONES AS THEIR MENTAL AND SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP BECOMES KEY ,YNCH S COMPLEX PLOT TWISTS UNEXPECTEDLY TOWARDS AN INCREASINGLYDISTURBINGEXPLANATION AND IS SPLIT INTO WHAT ARE EFFECTIVELY TWO HALVES 4HE ENDING IS OPEN TO INTERPRETATION AND IT S EITHER VERY BEMUSING OR VERY MEANINGFUL 6IMBAI -UKWENHA

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2OCKY

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)N ALMOST YEARS OF THE AWARDS ONLY THREE WOMEN HAVE BEEN NOMINATED FOR A "EST $IRECTOR /SCAR AND NONE HAVE TAKEN THE AWARD HOME

3AN $IEGO 5NIVERSITY S INFLUENTIAL RESEARCH 4HE #ELLULOID #EILING IN SHOWS THAT WOMEN ARE SIGNIFICANTLY OUTNUMBERED IN THE INDUSTRY )T INDICATES A DECLINE OF WOMEN DIRECTORS WRITERS EXECUTIVE PRODUCERS AND EDITORS BUT THAT THE PERCENTAGE OF WOMEN PRODUCERS HAS INCREASED 3O WHY IS THIS STILL AN ISSUE IN (OLLYWOOD !FTER RESPONDING TO PROTESTS THAT CULMINATED IN REGARDING THE LACK OF RACIAL DIVERSITY IN THE LIST OF NOMINEES PARTICULARLY !FRICAN !MERICAN ACTORS WHY HAS THE FILM INDUSTRY NOT RESPONDED IN THE SAME WAY TO THE SEXISM IN THE INDUSTRY 4HROUGHOUT HISTORY WOMEN IN THE FILM INDUSTRY HAVE REFLECTED AND INFLUENCED WOMEN S PLACE IN SOCIETY (OWEVER THE INDUSTRY HAS ALWAYS SEEMED UNWILLING IN GIVING WOMEN EQUAL OPPORTUNITIES )N THE POST WAR PERIOD DESPITE THE GREAT CHANGE IN SOCIETY DEMANDING THAT WOMEN SHOULD BE GIVEN EQUAL OPPORTUNITIES AND INDEPENDENCE THE FILM SECTOR REMAINED A MALE ORIENTATED RIGID STRUCTURE LEAVING WOMEN WITH LESS INFLUENTIAL ROLES "Y THE S WOMEN BECAME RECOGNISED AS KEY CONSUMERS OF THE INDUSTRY AND COMMERCIAL FILMS BEGAN TO REFLECT THIS IN THE CHOICE OF GENRE PARTICULARLY MELODRAMA THAT GREW AND FLOURISHED !LTHOUGH WOMEN WERE ACCEPTED TO BE THE TARGET AUDIENCE THERE WERE VERY FEW FEMALE DIRECTORS WITH 7ENDY 4OYE BEING AN EXCEPTION TO THE MALE RULE &ROM THIS THE NEW "RITISH CINEMA ESTABLISHED ITSELF IN THE S AND BECAME SUCCESSFUL IN ITS DEPICTION OF FEMININITY REFLECTING THE LIBERALISATION OF WOMEN IN SOCIETY 9ET UNSURPRISINGLY THESE

WERE FILMS WITH MALE DIRECTORS AND WERE MORE CONCERNED WITH THE POSITION OF WOMEN IN A MALE DOMINATED SOCIETY THAN WITH THE FEELINGS OF THE WOMEN THEMSELVES "Y THE S THE FEMINIST MOVEMENT HAD BEGUN TO INFLUENCE PRODUCTION AND IN THE %DINBURGH &ILM &ESTIVAL HOSTED ITS FIRST WOMEN S SECTION 4HE ARRIVAL OF #HANNEL IN WHICH SOUGHT TO CATER FOR THE MINORITY AUDIENCE MEANT THE PLACE OF WOMEN IN THE MEDIA APPEARED TO BE LOOKING UP !LTHOUGH THERE WAS NO SPECIFIC REMIT FOR WOMEN A NUMBER OF DOCUMENTARIES WERE COMMISSIONED FROM FEMALE DIRECTORS AS WELL AS SPECIFIC PROGRAMMES FOR WOMEN )N THE RISE OF THE ACCESSIBILITY OF THE MEDIA COINCIDED WITH A BACKLASH AGAINST OVERTLY FEMINIST PRACTICES "EYOND THE LARGE NUMBER OF SUCCESSFUL WOMEN DIRECTORS IN THE 5+ NOTABLY 3ALLY 0OTTER !NTONIA "IRD AND ,YNNE 2AMSAY THE MAJORITY OF WOMEN STILL HAVE PRODUCTION ROLES 4HE SITUATION IN THE 5+ IS CONSIDERABLY WORSE THAN THAT IN THE 53 FOR WOMEN DIRECTORS IN OF THE FILMS MADE IN "RITAIN ONLY OF THEM WERE BY WOMEN 3O WHERE IS THE PREJUDICE SEEPING IN 4HE 'UERRILLA 'IRLS RECOGNISE THAT NO SINGLE ENTITY IS TO BLAME BUT RETAIN THEIR STRONGEST CRITICISM FOR MOVIE EXECUTIVES WHO ONLY ALLOW WOMEN @SAFE PROJECTS 4HE /SCARS CANNOT BE BLAMED FOR UNDERAPPRECIATING WOMEN DIRECTORS WHEN THE HIGH GROSSING WOMEN S FILMS INCLUDE !NGELA 2OBINSON S (ERBIE &ULLY ,OADED AND .ANCY -EYER S 4HE (OLIDAY *ANE #USSONS CHIEF EXECUTIVE OF 7OMEN IN &ILM AND 4ELEVISION COMMENTS h) DON T THINK IT S BECAUSE WOMEN ARE DISCRIMINATED AGAINST DELIBERATELY BUT IT S ALWAYS BEEN ASSUMED THAT WHEN YOU GET OUT THERE ON THE SET THE DIRECTOR S THE BOSS !ND PEOPLE STILL FIND IT A LITTLE DIFFICULT TO ACCEPT WOMEN AS BEING THE BOSS v 7OMEN DIRECTORS ARE BEING TYPE CAST INTO DIRECTING FILMS THAT ARE GUARANTEED BOX OFFICE SUCCESSE S BECAUSE (OLLYWOOD AND THE 5+ FILM INDUSTRY SEEM TO BE AGAINST WOMEN TAKING COMMERCIAL RISKS 7OMEN ARE BEING LEFT TO DIRECT CHICK FLICKS AND KID S FILMS /NE OF "RITAIN S MOST COMMERCIALLY SUCCESSFUL DIRECTORS -IRA .AIR

3ALAAM "OMBAY AND -ONSOON 7EDDING EXPLAINED HOW SHE WANTED TO VENTURE INTO A MORE MALE GENRE OF FILM h) WAS VERY KEEN ON A POLITICAL THRILLER ) WENT OUT TO ,! TO LOBBY FOR IT AND ) GOT THE VIBE THAT THEY WERE HUMOURING MEv "EEBAN +IDRON WHO DIRECTED "RIDGET *ONES n 4HE %DGE OF 2EASON HAD A SIMILAR EXPERIENCE h4HE ONLY THING THAT ) M UPSET ABOUT IS THAT ) D LIKE TO MAKE A "OND FILM AND ) KNOW ) D DO A GOOD JOB BUT THAT S ALWAYS POOH POOHED v -ARTHA ,AUZEN COMMUNICATIONS PROFESSOR AT 3AN $IEGO 3TATE 5NIVERSITY RECOGNISES h4HERE IS STILL AN UNDERLYING ASSUMPTION THAT WOMEN AREN T AS PROFICIENT AS MEN AND THAT DIRECTING IS TOO TECHNICAL TOO HARD 7HEN A MAN MAKES A FILM THAT BOMBS PEOPLE SAY @/H BUT HE HAS THE FUNDAMENTAL CAPACITY TO GET THE JOB DONE WE LL GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE 7HEN A WOMAN FAILS WELL SHE S NOT UP TO THE TASK v )T SEEMS THAT WOMEN ARE NOT BEING GIVEN THE SAME CHANCES AS MEN NOT ONLY IN THE 53 BUT ALSO IN THE 5+ SIMPLY BECAUSE OF THE SEXIST ATTITUDE THAT THEY MAY NOT BE AS PROFICIENT 4HIS POSES THE QUESTION WHAT IS LEFT FOR THE INDUSTRY TO DO IN ORDER TO ELIMINATE THIS PREJUDICE 4HE MOST SIMPLE ANSWER WOULD BE THAT WOMEN NEED TO BE GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE THE RISKIER AND MORE CHALLENGING FILMS THAT THE INDUSTRY TYPICALLY LEAVES TO THE MEN !NY SUCCESSES WOULD THEN BE SHOWN AT THE /SCARS AND EVENTUALLY THE LOPSIDED STATISTICS COULD BECOME A THING OF HISTORY IN THE SAME WAY THAT RACIAL INEQUALITY HAS BEEN OVERCOME $IRECTOR 4ARA 6ENERUSO BELIEVES THAT THE ANSWER LIES IN MENTORING /NE OF THE BEST EXAMPLES OF THIS IS THE "IRDS %YE 6IEW FESTIVAL 4HIS COMMENCES ON )NTERNATIONAL 7OMEN S $AY ON -ARCH TH IN ,ONDON AND SEEKS TO SHOWCASE THE VERY BEST WORK OF UPCOMING FEMALE FILMMAKERS !LTERNATIVELY YOU CAN TAKE A MORE ACTIVE APPROACH FOLLOWING THE FEMINIST DEMAND OF THE 'UERRILLA 'IRLS h,ADIES AND GENTLEMEN WHEN YOU RE AT THE MULTIPLEX THIS WEEKEND ASK YOURSELF !RE YOU BUYING THAT TICKET TO A PREDOMINANTLY MALE FILM BECAUSE THAT S WHAT YOU WANT OR BECAUSE THAT S ALL THERE IS &OR THE SAKE OF YOUR DAUGHTERS AS WELL AS YOUR SONS )SN T IT TIME TO CRASH THE CELLULOID CEILING v

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AVAILABLE CASH WITH BUILDING MORE AND MORE ROOMS TO CATER FOR THE WIDE ARRANGE OF AILMENTS THAT YOUR CUSTOMERS SUFFERED AS WELL AS BEING ABLE TO AFFORD RESEARCH FOR BETTER EQUIPMENT AND STAFF WAGES 4HIS BALANCING ACT WHILE CHALLENGING WAS MADE MUCH MORE FUN BY THE GAME S PLAYFUL SENSE OF HUMOUR 4HIS IS MOST APPARENT IN THE RANGE OF OFF THE WALL DISEASES THAT PATIENTSEXPERIENCE CONSIDER "LOATY (EAD $ISEASE WHERE A PATIENT S BALLOONED HEAD IS POPPED WITH A NEEDLE AND THEN INmATED TO IT S REGULAR SIZE /R 4HE +ING 3YNDROME A PATIENT LOOKING LIKE %LVIS IS SAT DOWN BY A PSYCHIATRIST AND TOLD REPEATEDLY THAT %LVIS IS DEAD %VEN THE DESCRIPTIONS OF EACH CONDITION ARE FUNNY TAKE PREGNANCY 4HE CAUSE h0OWER CUTS IN HOUSING ESTATESv WE RE TOLD 1UITE 4HE GRAPHICS MAY NOW LOOK A LITTLE DATED IN THESE DAYS OF GLOSSY ALMOST PHOTOREALISM BUT THE CUTESY FEEL TO IT ALL SUITS THE GAME PERFECTLY 4HE SOUNDS ADD

TO THIS TOO BLEEPY MIDI lLES MAY NOT BE EVERYONE S CUP OF TEA BUT THEY COMPLEMENT YOUR MOUSE CLICKING WHILE VARIOUS SOUND EFFECTS ADD TO THE GENTLE HUMOUR SUCH AS THE WHIP CRACKING WHEN A MEMBER OF STAFF IS lRED 4HE DIFlCULTY CURVE HOWEVER CAN GET A LITTLE SHARP QUITE QUICKLY AS THE STRESSES OF HANDLING PATIENTS AND THEIR AILMENTS KEEPING THEM HAPPY THROUGH MAKING A CLEAN AND FUNCTIONAL HOSPITAL STAYING IN THE BLACK AND CREATING ENOUGH ROOMS TO CATER FOR EVERYONE GETS ON TOP OF THE PLAYER (OWEVER THIS DOES MEAN THAT THE GAME IS CHALLENGING AND NOT SOMETHING THAT CAN BE COMPLETED OVERNIGHT AS MANY OF TODAY S GAMES ARE 4HEME (OSPITAL IS INDISPUTABLY A GAMING CLASSIC FROM THE INTRICATE BUSINESS SIMULATOR THAT BEATS AT IT S HEART TO THE HUMOUR THAT MAKES IT SO UNIQUE IT IS SINGLE HANDEDLY RESPONSIBLE FOR BREATHING LIFE INTO A ONCE DYING GENRE THAT TEN YEARS LATER HAS PRETTY MUCH mATLINED )T S ONE OF THE BEST MANAGEMENT GAMES AVAILABLE AND WITH IT BEING PRICED AT LESS THAN A lVER THESE DAYS IT S WELL WORTH EVERY PENNY )F ONLY THE .(3 COULD TAKE LESSONS ON RUNNING HOSPITALS FROM IT EH

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7EBSITE OF THE &ORTNIGHT

WWW PIMPTHATSNACK COM 7ANT A WEBSITE THAT CAN TEACH YOU HOW TO MAKE A #REAM %GG THE SIZE OF A KETTLE 4HEN THIS IS THE SITE FOR YOU 7HETHER YOU WANT TO MAKE COLOSSAL +ITKATS OR GIANT *AMMIE $ODGERS YOU WILL lND RECIPES FOR THESE AND MANY MORE AT PIMPTHATSNACK COM %ACH PROJECT HAS INGREDIENTS LISTS PICTURES AND STEP BY STEP INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO MAKE THE GARGANTUAN TREAT OF YOUR CHOICE 7ITH NEARLY PROJECTS AND SIMPLE PIMPS TO TRY YOU LL BE SPOILT FOR CHOICE WHEN DRUNKENLY

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