The Event - Issue 193

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THE EVENT THE

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,OUIS DE "ERNIERES -USIC SCENES 46 HEROES

#ONTENTS &ASHION

-USIC

-ING NO MORE WITH OUR BASIC MAKEUP TIPS AND DISCOVER WHICH lVE ITEMS OUR SURVEY SAID YOU SHOULDN T BE WITHOUT

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,OUIS DE "ERNIERES INTERVIEWED ON HIS CURRENT TOUR -! $IRECTING 0ROJECTS AT 5%! AND THE 4IME 4RAVELLER S 7IFE

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!LBUMS ,ARRKIN ,OVE &OUR 4ET ,IAM &ROST 4HE 6EILS 3INGLES +EANE (UMANZI 2ADIO 'ET #APE 7EAR #APE &LY ! LOOK AT THE CURRENT MUSICAL SCENES ,IVE 2EVIEWS ,ONG "LONDES +LAXONS "ABYSHAMBLES

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#HILDREN OF -EN AND +EVIN 3MITH S CULT CLASSIC #LERKS 4HE $EVIL 7EARS 0RADA 4HE "LACK $AHLIA AND #LICK 3ILENT (ILL 4HE /MEN AND 4HE ,AKE (OUSE ON $6$ #ASH #OWS ! LOOK AT DIRECTORS SQUEEZING THOSE lNANCIAL TEATS

8 &ACTOR ,OST AND A NOSTALGIC LOOK AT &UN (OUSE #OMIC BOOK HEROES ON 46 SUPER OR NOT

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,ISTINGS

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! SELECTION OF POETRY AND PROSE FROM THIS WEEK S CONTRIBUTORS

#OVER 3TORY

(IP HOP LEGENDS *URASSIC PLAYED A MASSIVE GIG AT THE ,#2 LAST WEEK 7E CAUGHT UP WITH !KIL :AAKIR TO QUIZ HIM ON HIS OPINIONS ON THE GROUP S SUCCESS

4HE ODD BUT STRANGELY GREAT $ISNEY 20' +INGDOM (EARTS REVIEWED PLUS THE CLASSIC 3TREETS OF 2AGE

(ELLO ) DON T KNOW ABOUT YOU BUT TERM S MOVING BY REALLY FAST ISN T IT 7E RE ALREADY IN OUR THIRD WEEK OF LEC TURES FOR THE YEAR AND IT FEELS LIKE THE SUMMER BREAK NEVER HAPPENED ,OOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE WHILE TERM MAY BE WHIZZING PAST AT THE MO MENT AT LEAST IT MEANS #HRISTMAS IS GETTING CLOSER AND CLOSER EACH DAY WITH THE SMELL OF ROAST TURKEY AND STALE WHISKEY ON GRANDAD S BREATH SOON UPON US -OVING BACK TO THE PRESENT ONE THING THAT S BEEN SPARKING OPINIONS IN THE #ONCRETE OFlCE THIS WEEK IS THE RELEASE OF THE 7ORLD 4RADE #EN TRE lLM OR @7ORLD 4RADE #ENTER 4O SOME IT S THE MOST MOVING PIECE OF lLM COMMITTED TO CELLULOID FOR QUITE SOME TIME AND AN INDICATOR OF THE HORRIlC TIME THAT THE CITIZENS OF .EW 9ORK HAD TO ENDURE ON THAT FATEFUL DAY OVER lVE YEARS AGO 4O OTHERS IT S AN OVERBLOWN PIECE OF SELF CONGRATULATORY RUBBISH WITH THE !MERICAN mAG SPLASHED ALL OVER IT WHEREVER POSSIBLE DRAMATISING AND TRIVIALISING WHAT ACTUALLY HAP PENED ON THAT DAY ALL THE WHILE PRESENTING THE GOOD PEOPLE OF THE 53 OF ! AS BRILLIANT AND QUICK TO RALLY AGAINST AN EMERGENCY /H AND THAT .ICOLAS #AGE CAN GROW A TERRIBLE MOUSTACHE 3O WHICH SIDE ARE YOU ON 4O lND OUT YOU COULD POP INTO A LOCAL CINEMA AND WATCH IT YOURSELF /R ALTERNATIVELY SAVE THAT LITTLE CHUNK OF LOAN AND SPEND IT ON SOMETHING MORE FUN LIKE A DECK OF 4OP 4RUMPS CARDS AND A PACK OF 3PACE )NVADERS CRISPS

9OU LL UNDOUBTEDLY HAVE A MUCH BETTER TIME )N A SIMILAR VEIN IN THAT THE ISSUE HAS BEEN SIMILARLY DIVIDING OPINION WE VE BEEN FEVERISHLY DIS CUSSING THE NEWS THAT $ES ,YNAM WILL SOON BE LEAVING THE #OUNT DOWN CHAIR 2UMOURS ABOUND OF %AMON (OLMES OR -ICHAEL !SPEL TAKING OVER THE MANTLE WHILE #AROL 6ORDERMAN HAS EXPRESSLY DENIED THAT SHE WILL TAKE THE JOB ON "UT WHICH ONE OF THE TWO WOULD YOU PREFER -Y MONEY S ON !SPEL HE S PROVED HIMSELF TIME AND TIME AGAIN ON 4HIS )S 9OUR ,IFE AND HE D BE ABLE TO WALK THE THIN LINE BE TWEEN BEING FUNNY WITHOUT BEING IRRITATING AND SERIOUS (OLMES ON THE OTHER HAND HAS SIMPLY SHOWN HIMSELF UP ON NATIONAL TELEVISON REPEATEDLY 7HETHER IT S ON MORN ING TELEVISION OR FRONTING A TERRIBLE GAMESHOW THEMED AROUND THE .A TIONAL ,OTTERY HIS REPULSIVE BLOATED MUG HAS PERMEATED OUR COLLECTIVE SUBCONCIOUS AND SCARRED US ALL 'IVING HIM FURTHER EXPOSURE IN A PERENNIAL STUDENT FAVOURITE WOULD HELP HIS GRADUAL TAKEOVER OF OUR AIRWAVES /R SOMETHING !NYWAY ENOUGH RANTING ABOUT (OLMES )N SHORT ) DON T LIKE HIM AND THERE S PLENTY MORE OF OUR NATION S EN TERTAINERS OUT THERE THAT WOULD DO A GREAT JOB FRONTING #OUNTDOWN .OEL %DMONDS AND 3TEPHEN &RY WOULD BOTH BE BRILLIANT IN THEIR OWN WAYS !NYWAY ) LL END MY LITTLE RANT THERE AND LEAVE IT TO THE PRODUCERS

OF #OUNTDOWN TO MAKE A CHOICE NEEDLESS TO SAY WHEN THEY DO ) LL CLAMBER BACK UP ONTO MY SOAPBOX AND RANT AGAIN -ANY THANKS TO ALL THOSE WHO JOINED AT 3OCMART TOO WE RE NOW OFlCIALLY THE BIGGEST SOCIETY ON CAMPUS 7ITHOUT YOU WE WOULDN T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO PUT THIS ISSUE TO GETHER SO CHEERS TO ALL OF YOU !ND IF YOU DID JOIN THEN WHAT lNER WAY TO CELEBRATE BEING PART OF 5%! S STU DENT NEWSPAPER THAN COMING ALONG TO THE SOCIAL ON 4UESDAY 0OP INTO TO 4HE (IVE ON 4UESDAY NIGHT BE FORE 3CHOOL $AZE KICKS OFF IN THE ,#2 WE VE MANAGED TO GET 4HE (IVE FOR A PRIVATE #ONCRETE PARTY STARTING AT )F THAT DOESN T APPEAL TO YOU ENOUGH HOW DOES THE OFFER OF HEAVILY REDUCED ALCOHOL SOUND /R THE DANCE OFF BETWEEN #ONCRETE AND 4HE %VENT )F YOU WANT TO BUST SOME MOVES OR PULL SOME SHAPES BE IT MANIC BREAKDANCING OR SIMPLY THE CLASSIC 2OBOT THAT YOU VE BEEN PRACTICING IN YOUR ROOM ALL SUM MER COME ALONG AND TRY THEM OUT )T S ALL IN THE NAME OF PROVING YOUR BIT OF THE PAPER IS THE BEST AND WHAT BETTER WAY TO REPRESENT THAT THAN THE MEDIUM OF DANCE 3O HOPEFULLY SEE YOU THERE )N THE MEANTIME ENJOY THE lNE CRITI CAL DISCUSSIONS CONTAINED IN THE NEXT ODD PAGES AND HAVE A GREAT COUPLE OF WEEKS

THE EVENT The !NNA 3TEWARD %DITOR IN #HIEF %DITOR AND $ESIGNER #HRIS (YDE $EPUTY %VENT %DITOR &IONA "ILLINGS !RT %DITORS 2OANNA "OND AND -IRANDA "RYANT #ONTRIBUTORS *ACK #LARK .ICOLE (AZAN $AVINA 7ILSON

#OMPUTING %DITOR #HRIS (YDE #ONTRIBUTORS *OSH 0IERCEY

#REATIVE 7RITING %DITOR )MAD 3ID #ONTRIBUTORS %- #RISP !NDREA 4ALLARITA

&ASHION %DITOR 5MAY +ALSOOM &ILM %DITOR !NDY *UDSON

#ONTRIBUTORS -ARTIN 'ASTON .EIL (UITSON #HARLOTTE +IMBERLEY .ICK -ELLISH +IERA / "RIEN 4OM 0HILLIPS +ARIN VAN 7ESEP

,ISTINGS %DITOR *EMMA 4HAKE -USIC %DITOR 'REG 3ULLIVAN

#ONTRIBUTORS *AMES "ERRILL .ICK "ROOKES +IERAN #ORNWELL 0HIL (OWES #HRIS (YDE ,EWIS -ORTON 2OBIN 3AMPSON -IKE 3AUNDERS $ON 3TYLES "ARMABY 4IDMAN

46 %DITOR .ATASHA +UNDAIKER

#ONTRIBUTORS &IONA "ILLINGS (OLLY #URTIS !NTHONY *ACKSON !MANDA ,IM +IERA / "RIEN

#HRIS

THE EVENT

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(/7 4/ -AKEUP

/NE OF THE BIGGEST THINGS THAT PLAYS ON A GIRL S MIND IS WHETHER HER MAKEUP IS RIGHT &ROM SMOKEY EYES TO THE TOP lVE PIECES OF MAKEUP YOU JUST CAN T LIVE WITHOUT WE VE GATHERED THE BEST TIPS AND TRICKS ON HOW TO APPLY MAKEUP LIKE THE PROFESSIONALS +EY COLOURS FOR THIS SEASON #HEEKS 3OFT PINKS AND FUCHSIA %YES "ROWN GOLD GREEN PLUM PURPLE BLUE ,IPS 2EDS AND PINKS OR FOR THE VERY BRAVE NUDE

(ERE 2ACHEL "ILSON S LOOK IS SIMPLY ALL ABOUT SMOKEY EYES USING A GREEN EYELINER THAT HAS A PURPLE TINT TO IT 3TART WITH A CREAM EYE SHADOW FOLLOWED BY PUR PLE ON THE LIDS AS A FOUN DATION "LEND OVER THIS A GREEN SHIMMER SHADOW ALL OVER THE EYELIDS $ElNE THE EYES WITH A BLACK KOHL LINER AND BLACK MASCARA WHILE A SHEER LIP GLOSS WON T OUTDO THE EYES 4O BAL ANCE THE GREENS ON THE EYES USE A PALE APRICOT COLOUR FOR BLUSH ON THE CHEEKS %YESHADOW 4HE BIGGEST TIP TO OFFER YOU IS THAT DARK COL OURS DEEPEN OR HOLLOW AN AREA AND LIGHT SHADOWS MAKE AN AREA STAND OUT )F YOU WANT TO USE STRONG BRIGHT COL OURS ON YOUR LIDS THEN START BY AP PLYING A PALE NEUTRAL TONE lRST SO THAT YOU HAVE A SMOOTH MATT SUR FACE OVER WHICH TO APPLY THE STRONG SHADES $EPENDING ON THE SHAPE OF YOUR EYE THE LIGHT WILL HIT THE CONTOUR OF YOUR EYE IN DIFFERENT PLACES "LUE EYES ARE BRIGHTENED WITH GREYS PLUMS AND PINKS AS WELL AS BROWNS $ARKER EYES LOOK ENTICING WITH MORE NATURAL TONES SUCH AS BROWNS BLACKS ALMOND AND PEACH .EVER APPLY ABOVE THE NATURAL LINE OF THE LID YOU WILL LOOK LIKE 0AT "UTCHER S NIECE

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)T CAME TOP ON YOUR DESERT ISLAND LISTx -ASCARA 4HE BEST THING TO DO BEFORE USING MASCARA IS INVEST IN EYELASH CURL ERS !S LONG AS YOU DON T PULL OUT ALL YOUR LASHES THE CURLER LIFTS THE LASHES AND MAKES IT EASIER TO APPLY MASCARA 4HE lRST TIP IS THAT YOU DON T HAVE TO OPEN YOUR MOUTH WHEN APPLYING INSTEAD OPEN YOUR EYES WIDE AND TILT YOUR HEAD BACK SO THAT YOU CAN STROKE THE WAND THROUGH THE WHOLE OF YOUR LASHES )F YOU RE PRONE TO SMUDGING APPLY TO THE LOWER LASHES lRST AND THEN GO ON TO THE UPPER LASHES "LACK MASCARA IS THE FAVOURITE BUT DON T BE AFRAID TO TRY DIFFERENT COLOURS FOR INSTANCE BLUE IS STRIKING AND MAKES THE WHITE OF YOUR EYES APPEAR BRIGHTER )F BLACK MASCARA LOOKS TOO HEAVY ON YOUR EYE IE GIVES YOU SPIDER LASHES THEN TRY BROWN BLUE OR EVEN A MAUVE COLOUR ON THE LOWER LASHES %YELINER /NCE YOU HAVE APPLIED MASCARA USE EYELINER ON THE BASE OF YOUR LASHES TO COVER ANY ROOTS 'ENTLY PULL YOUR EYELID TAUT AND REST THE BRUSH OVER THE AREA OF EYE THAT YOU ARE AP PLYING LINER TO 5SE LIQUID LINER IF YOU WANT TO BE MORE CREA TIVE OR HAVE WELL DElNED LINES )F YOU HAVE SMALL EYES THEN USING LINER ALL THE WAY ROUND THE EYE WILL MAKE THEM APPEAR EVEN SMALLER SO STICK TO THE OUTSIDE OF YOUR EYE TO GIVE THE IMPRESSION OF BIG EYES 5SE BRIGHT COLOURS FOR A DRAMATIC LOOK

5%! $ESERT )SLAND -AKEUP "AGx 7E ASKED YOU WHAT ITEM OF MAKEUP YOU SIMPLY COULDN T LIVE WITHOUT HERE ARE YOUR TOP lVEx -ASCARA ,IP 'LOSS &OUNDATION "LUSHER %YELINER "EST ANSWER ! BOAT n THERE S AL WAYS ONE 7ORST ANSWER +9 JELLY n KNOCK ON WOOD WE DON T END UP ON YOUR ISLAND

,IP 'LOSS )N SECOND PLACE AND A MUST HAVE ITEM OF OUR GENERATION IS LIP GLOSS ! SLICK OF GLOSS ON YOUR LIPS REmECTS THE LIGHT AND GIVES THE ILLUSION OF A SEXY POUT !LTHOUGH LIPSTICK ONLY RECEIVED ONE VOTE IN OUR POLL WE SUGGEST WEARING LIPSTICK UNDER YOUR GLOSS FOR THE ULTIMATE SHEEN THAT LASTS LONGER )F YOU HAVE SMALL LIPS YOU CAN MAXIMISE YOUR POUT BY CAREFULLY DRAWING OVER THE NATURAL LINE WITH A BRIGHT TINT )F YOU ARE ALREADY BLESSED WITH FULL LIPS USE A MATT OR NEUTRAL SHADE TO UNDERSTATE YOUR POUT FOR A NATURAL lNISH )F YOU HAVE A DECENT TIP ON HOW TO WEAR YOUR HAIR DOWN ON A WINDY DAY AND WEAR LIP GLOSS LET US KNOW

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7E GO BACK TO BASICS "LUSHER !FTER APPLYING YOUR MAKEUP COLOUR YOUR CHEEKS FOR A HEALTHY GLOW USING BLUSHER IN SHADES OF PINK AND ROSE 3WEEP THE BLUSHER ACROSS YOUR CHEEK BONES USING A SOFT FULL ROUND BLUSHER BRUSH TAP OFF ANY EXCESS AND MAKE SURE THAT YOU GO FROM THE CENTRE OF THE EYE TO NO FURTHER THAN THE BASE OF YOUR EARS 4O HELP CHOOSE THE RIGHT COLOUR FOR YOU TRY TO STAY IN THE SAME RANGE AS YOUR LIP COLOURS AND SELECT A BLUSH THAT RESEMBLES THE NATURAL GLOW OF YOUR CHEEKS AFTER YOU EXERCISE BUT DON T GO FOR THE mUSHED LOOK 'O FOR A SOFT LIGHT SHADE DURING THE DAY AND A DARKER MORE DRA MATIC LOOK FOR THE EVENINGS #REAM BLUSHERS ARE GOOD FOR ROSIER CHEEKS AND REMEMBER THAT THE LIGHTER YOUR SKIN TONE THE LIGHTER YOUR BLUSH COLOUR SHOULD BE

,ONG FACE 5SE BLUSH TO SHORTEN OR SOF TEN YOUR FACE BY BRUSHING THE CHIN WITH A NATURAL BUT DEEP SHADE 3QUARE FACE 4O SOFTEN A SQUARE FACE USE EITHER POWDER OR BLUSH AND APPLY TO THE JAW LINE 3OFTEN YOUR CHEEKBONES BY APPLYING BLUSHER ACROSS THEM 2OUND FACE 4HE ROUNDER FACE NEEDS DElNITION TO ADD SHAPE AND A DARKER SHADE OF BLUSHER APPLIED TO THE CHEEKS AND JAW LINE HELP TO REDUCE THE SIZE 5S ING A PALE COLOUR ON THE CHIN WILL DElNE IT MORE )N THIRD PLACE IS &OUNDATION %ASILY ONE OF THE TRICKIEST THINGS TO BUY ONE WRONG PURCHASE AND YOU COULD BE KNOWN AS THE GIRL THAT GOT @TANGOED 3HOP LIGHTING IS NOT REAL SO ALWAYS PUT FOUNDATION ON YOUR HAND AND TAKE IT OUTSIDE FOR A CLOSER INSPECTION 4HE BEST FOUNDATION IS ONE THAT IS SO SEAMLESS AND mAWLESS THAT YOUR FRIENDS CAN T TELL YOU RE WEARING ANY 2EMEMBER NOT TO RELY ON ONE FOUNDATION TO GET YOU THROUGH THE YEAR BECAUSE AS SEASONS CHANGE SO DOES THE COLOUR OF YOUR FACE YOU WILL NEED A SLIGHTLY DARKER SHADE IN THE SUMMER AND A PALER ONE DURING WINTER *UST LIKE MOISTURISING WORK THE FOUNDATION OUTWARDS BY APPLYING NEAR YOUR NOSE lRST THEN BLENDING OVER THE CHEEKS 4O AVOID BUILD UP AROUND YOUR FACE PRIME THE SKIN WITH MOISTURISER AND GIVE IT TIME TO ABSORB BEFORE APPLYING FOUNDATION AND USE YOUR lNGERS AS THE HEAT MELTS IT INTO YOUR SKIN BETTER

3MOKEY EYES 4O CREATE THE EFFECT OF DARK SULTRY EYES START BY PREPARING THE LID WITH A LIGHT COLOURED EYESHADOW BASE 7ITH A SOFT PENCIL APPLY LINER TO YOUR BOTTOM LID IF YOU HAVE SMALLER EYES STOP HALF WAY ACROSS &OR BIGGER EYES GO ALL THE WAY TO THE INNER EYE 'O OVER THE SAME LINE WITH A DARKER SHADE THIS WILL SMUDGE THE lRST LINE AND TAKE THE HARD EDGE AWAY LEAVING A SHADOWY DElNITION )F YOU RE FEELING EXTRA CREATIVE YOU CAN USE YOUR SHADOWS AS LINERS THIS IS A GREAT TECHNIQUE FOR DIFFERENT COLOURS THAT ARE ALREADY IN A SOFTER MATERIAL 5SING ANOTHER SHADE THAT ISN T AS DARK AS THE LAST APPLY ANOTHER LAYER OF LIN ER TO OUTLINE THE EYE EVEN MORE .OW FOR THE LIDS TILT YOUR HEAD BACK AND USE A MIDDLE TONE TO DARKEN THE BONE OF YOUR EYE SOCKET 2UN A BRUSH FROM THE OUTER CORNER OF YOUR EYE TOWARDS THE INNER CORNER BUT DON T GO THE ENTIRE WAY THEN BLEND OVER THE EYE SOCKET )F YOU ARE ONLY DOING THE CORNER OF YOUR EYE lLL IN THE OUTER LID AND BLEND UP TO THE SOCKET &OL LOW THIS STEP BY BLENDING A DARKER SHADOW OVER THE TOP OF THE MIDDLE SHADE TO GIVE DEPTH -AKE SURE YOU DON T GO OVERBOARD PAT THE BRUSH ON TO YOUR HAND TO GET RID OF ANY EXCESS POWDER !FTER THIS YOU COULD USE LIQUID LINER ON THE TOP LID TO FURTHER DEEPEN THE COLOUR AND USE AS MUCH MASCARA AS YOU PLEASE TO COMPLETE THE SMOKEY EYE LOOK 4HIS WINTER CREATE YOUR SMOKEY EYE USING VIOLETS AND PLUMS LINED WITH PURPLE BLUE OR A DEEP GREEN 4RY TO REMEMBER THE IDEA IS SEXY NOT @) WAS JUST PUNCHED SO CEASE APPLICATION IM MEDIATELY IF YOU FEEL YOU ARE HEADING TOWARDS THE LATTER #ONCEALER 3O MANY STUDENTS DEPEND ON THIS TO COVER UP UNWANTED BLEMISHES AND UNDER EYE SHADOWS FROM A LACK OF SLEEP )T IS BEST TO KEEP CON CEALER LIGHT AND MINIMAL APPLIED OVER FOUNDATION SO THAT IT DOESN T RUB OFF -AKE SURE THAT LIKE FOUNDATION THE COLOUR OF CONCEALER YOU USE MATCHES EXACTLY TO YOUR SKIN TONE "LEND CONCEALER WITH YOUR lNGERS TO THE OUTER CORNER OF YOUR NOSE AND THE OUTER CORNER OF YOUR EYELID YOU DON T HAVE TO STOP UNDER THE EYE BUT PUT IT ON YOUR LIDS AND AROUND YOUR NOSE TOO *UST MAKE SURE THAT IT DOESN T LOOK LIKE YOU HAVE CAKED IT ON TO COVER BLEMISHES SO BLEND WELL OTHERWISE IMPERFECTIONS BECOME EVEN MORE APPARENT

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4O CELEBRATE THE OPENING OF (OLLYWOOD S LATEST FASHION mICK WE HAVE A POSTER OF 4HE $EVIL 7EARS 0RADA TO GIVE AWAY !LL YOU HAVE TO DO IS ANSWER THIS SIMPLE QUESTION 7HAT IS THE NAME OF THE MAGAZINE THAT !NNE (ATHAWAY S DISTINCTLY UN CHIC CHARACTER WORKS FOR 4HE POSTER WILL BE AWARDED TO THE lRST PERSON TO EMAIL IN WITH THE CORRECT ANSWER CONCRETE FASHION UEA AC UK 'OOD LUCK

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$E "ERNIERES -ANDOLIN 2OANNA "OND DISCOVERS WHAT LIES BEHIND ,OUIS DE "ERNIERES WHEN HE DISCUSSES HIS BOOKS PLAYS AND MUSICAL ABILITIES WHILST JUGGLING A BABY AND CONSIDERING 0ENELOPE #RUZ S BREASTS

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A N D O L I N 'ENERALLY SPEAKING THE lRST WORD TO SPRING TO MIND WHEN YOU MENTION ,OUIS $E "ERNIERES 5NDERSTANDABLY THEN 4HE %VENT IS ANXIOUS TO AVOID USING THIS PARTICULAR CLICHÏ WHEN WE TALK TO THE MAN HIMSELF 9ET HE S DYING TO DISCUSS THE MERITS OF THIS LITTLE WOODERN BEAUTY 7HY YOU MAY ASK 7ELL HE S LEARNT TO PLAY IT !LONG WITH THE GUITAR THE BANJO THE CLARINET AND THE mUTE !PPARENTLY THERE S MUCH MORE TO -R $E "ERNIERES THAN MEETS THE EYE (E LOVES MUSIC AND UNUSUALLY FOR AN AUTHOR TALKING IN PUBLIC (EREIN LIES THE MOTIVATION FOR HIS LATEST ARTISTIC ADVENTURE POETRY READINGS PERFORMED LIVE TO A DIVERSE AND mAMBOYANT MUSICAL ACCOMPANIMENT (IS INNOVATION MAKES ITS DEBUT IN .ORWICH ON &RIDAY TH /CTOBER IN THE NEWLY RENOVATED $RAGON (ALL SITUATED DOWN BY THE 7ATERFRONT 4HE VENUE IS SUITABLY PRESTIGIOUS FOR AN AUTHOR WHO S MOST RENOWNED WORK #APTAIN #ORELLI S -ANDOLIN HAS SOLD OVER MILLION COPIES AND WON THE #OMMONWEALTH 7RITER S 0RIZE THE BUILDING HAVING BEEN RECENTLY RENOVATED FOR A NOT INSUBSTANTIAL SUM OF a MILLION )T TURNS OUT $E "ERNIERES DISTRUSTS HIS OWN ABILITIES HOWEVER TELLING 4HE %VENT HE hALMOST GAVE UP PERFORMING BECAUSE OF SEVERE STAGE FRIGHT 7RITING IS A MUCH MORE SOLITARY ACTIVITY "EING ONSTAGE USES A DIFFERENT KIND OF ENERGY WHICH CAN BE VERY DAUNTING BUT AT THE SAME TIME RATHER INVIGORATING )T GIVES ME AN INCREDIBLE HIGH v 4HE %VENT ASKS WHAT MOTIVATED THIS SHIFT IN CAREER FOCUS TO WHICH HE RESPONDS THAT HE hALWAYS WANTED TO BE "OB $YLAN SINGING IN FOLK CLUBSv AND THIS WAS HIS WAY OF DOING THAT .OT SATISlED WITH BEING A MULTI AWARD WINNING WIDELY RESPECTED WRITER THEN $E "ERNIERES BRANCHED OUT INTO THE WORLD OF PERFORMANCE ART AND STARTED hPERFORMING IN CONCERTS A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO WORKING WITH A COUPLE OF mUTE PLAYERS AND A CLARINET v 4HAT THEN DEVELOPED INTO A NIGHT OF hALTERNATE MUSIC AND POETRYv AND HIS CURRENT MUSICAL TROOP 4HE !NTONIUS 0LAYERS WERE BORN (AVING PERFORMED SELL OUT RUNS FOR THE PAST TWO YEARS AT THE %DINBURGH &RINGE &ESTIVAL THE PLAYERS EXPANDED AND BECAME A GROUP OF SIX DIFFERENT

h) JUST DON T THINK ) LL EVER BE AS FULlLLED BY MUSIC IT S A BIT LIKE SEX IN THAT IT S A TEMPORARY FULlLMENT 7RITING IS THERE FOREVER v

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MUSICIANS WHICH ALTERNATE PER PERFORMANCE DEPENDING ON WHO THEY HAVE AVAILABLE AT THE TIME 4HE SUBSTANCE OF THE EVENING S PERFORMANCE VARIES DEPENDING ON THE NATURE OF THE VENUE &OR NEXT WEEK S PERFORMANCE IN .ORWICH FOR EXAMPLE $E "ERNIERES TELLS ME THAT THE REPERTOIRE WILL ENCOMPASS EVERYTHING FROM RENAISSANCE BALLAD LYRICS TO "ACH h4HERE S NO OVERRIDING THEME OR SORT OF CIRCUMFERENCE AROUND WHAT WE CAN DO &OR THIS GIG FOR EXAMPLE WE VE BEEN ASKED TO DEVISE A PROGRAMME AROUND POETRY AND MUSIC FROM THE "RITISH )SLES )T JUST DEPENDS ON WHAT PEOPLE WANT 'ENERALLY SPEAKING WE DO ABOUT ONE OR TWO PERFORMANCES A MONTH WHICH IS GOOD BECAUSE IT DOESN T PAY AS WELL AS WRITING OR RATHER PAY AT ALL REALLY SO IT GIVES ME TIME TO WRITE AND ACTUALLY EARN A LIVING AS WELL v 4HIS SELF DEPRECATING HUMOUR IS TYPICAL OF $E "ERNIERES SHADES OF WHICH PERVADE HIS WRITING AND LITTER HIS EVERYDAY CONVERSATION 7HILE WE TALK HE OFTEN CALLS ACROSS TO HIS DOG AND REPRIMANDS HIS ERRANT TODDLER WHICH PROVIDES A CHARMING INSIGHT INTO THE @REAL $E "ERNIERES WHO IT MUST BE SAID SEEMS LITTLE DIFFERENT FROM THE PUBLIC lGURE 4HE %VENT IS CURRENTLY TALKING TO 'IVEN THIS WHAT DOES HE THINK AUDIENCES EXPECT WHEN COMING TO SEE HIS RECITALS h4O BE HONEST ) THINK THEY EXPECT SOMETHING MUCH MORE SOLEMN "UT ) M OF THE OPINION THAT TO DO HIGH ART ONE DOESN T HAVE TO FROWN )T S PREFERABLE TO PLAY THE FOOL ONSTAGE YOU CAN BE PROFOUND AND SILLY ALL AT THE SAME TIME )N FACT IT OFTEN MEANS MORE

IF YOU ARE v 3O WHY DOES HE THINK PEOPLE COME TO SEE HIM )S IT THE PULL OF SEEING ,OUIS $E "ERNIERES IN THE mESH THAT DRAWS AUDIENCES IN OR A GENUINE INTEREST IN THE ACT ITSELF h) HAVE NO IDEA WHY THEY COME -AYBE IT S JUST TO GET A BOOK SIGNED ) DON T KNOW BUT ) HOPE IT S NOT JUST THAT ) SUPPOSE IT IS MOSTLY OUT OF CURIOSITY (OPEFULLY PEOPLE SEEM TO ENJOY IT THOUGH v 4HE CONTENTS OF THE NIGHT S PERFORMANCE IS EXTREMELY VARIABLE SOME EXCERPTS OF POETRY ARE $E "ERNIERES OWN SOME ARE TAKEN FROM POEMS WRITTEN BY HIS FATHER AND SOME ARE BITS OF NARRATIVE TAKEN FROM HIS PLAY FOR VOICES 3UNDAY -ORNING AT THE #ENTRE OF THE 5NIVERSE 4HERE IS NO SINGLE OVERRIDING THEME OR CONSCIOUS NARRATIVE STRAND EVERYTHING IS JUST ERRATICALLY WOVEN TOGETHER WHICH $E "ERNIERES FREELY ADMITS HE LIKES BECAUSE HE CAN hPLAY AROUND WITH THE MATERIAL ON THE NIGHT 3PONTANEITY IS THE KEY TO CREATING GOOD ART "UT THE MUSIC OF COURSE CAN T CHANGE AS IT HAS TO BE REHEARSED v 3O WHAT IS IT THAT INSPIRES HIS OWN WRITING -ANY WRITERS HAVE A RIGID STRUCTURE WHEN THEY WORK BUT DOES HE PREFER THE IDEA OF ORGANIC INSPIRATION h-Y PHILOSOPHY OF LIFE IS REALLY JUST TO HAVE PLEASURE ) ONLY WRITE WHEN ) FEEL LIKE IT ) DON T DISCIPLINE MYSELF AT ALL SOMETIMES IF ) GET INTO IT ) CAN WRITE FOR HOURS 9ESTERDAY FOR EXAMPLE ) WAS TYPING WITH MY TODDLER ON MY KNEE FOR AGES BUT ) WAS DAMNED IF ) WAS GOING TO STOP JUST BECAUSE HE WANTED FOOD v $E "ERNIERES IS A MAN OF MANY TALENTS HAVING WRITTEN FOR AN IMPRESSIVE ARRAY OF AGE RANGES AND AUDIENCES FROM HIS lRST NOVEL 4HE 7AR OF $ON %MMANUEL S .ETHER 0ARTS WHICH WAS HEAVILY INmUENCED BY 3OUTH !MERICAN CULTURE TO HIS NOVEL 2ED $OG SET IN !USTRALIA AND WRITTEN FOR CHILDREN TO HIS NEWLY ACQUIRED STATUS AS A RESPECTED POET AND PLAYWRIGHT (OWEVER HIS FAVOURITE TARGET AUDIENCE IS CLEAR h) THINK ) AM NATURALLY A WRITER FOR ADULTS ALTHOUGH ) THINK THAT TWELVE YEAR OLDS ARE ACTUALLY THE HARDEST AGE RANGE TO WRITE FOR BECAUSE THEY RE SORT OF IN BETWEEN AREN T THEY v 4HERE ARE DRAWBACKS TO BEING SUCH A CHAMELEON HOWEVER FOR HE FEARS THAT HE WILL hNEVER BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY AS A MUSICIAN ONLY AT WRITING /NCE YOU BECOME RECOGNISED FOR ONE THING IT BECOMES VERY DIFlCULT TO THEN GET

RECOGNISED FOR SOMETHING ELSE 0EOPLE PIGEON HOLE YOU IN THEIR HEAD 7OODY !LLEN FOR EXAMPLE IS A HIGHLY SKILLED CLARINET PLAYER BUT HE LL ALWAYS BE KNOWN ONLY AS A WRITER AND ACTOR 3IMILARLY NOVELISTS WHO WRITE POETRY NEVER GET TAKEN SERIOUSLY IT S JUST ANOTHER STRING TO YOUR BOW ISN T IT v 4HERE ARE SOME AREAS THAT HE WILL NOT BE VENTURING INTO HOWEVER SCREENWRITING BEING ONE OF THEM $E "ERNIERES WAS FAMOUSLY UNHAPPY WITH THE CINEMATIC ADAPTATION OF HIS NOVEL #APTAIN #ORELLI S -ANDOLIN AND IT IS CLEAR THAT THIS SUBJECT STILL RANKLES $ESPITE HAVING BEEN OFFERED THE OPPORTUNITY TO ADAPT THE BOOK INTO THE SCREENPLAY HIMSELF $E "ERNIERES TURNED IT DOWN VIEWING SCRIPTWRITING AS hMERETRICIOUS AND CONTRIVED 9OU KNOW THEY LL JUST PUT A HAPPY ENDING IN AND ADD A SEX SCENE v "OTH OF WHICH TURNED OUT TO BE TRUE WHEN IT CAME TO #APTAIN #ORELLI IN WHICH THEY SIMPLY hFOUND AN ARTISTICALLY GENERATED CONTEXT IN WHICH TO SHOW 0ENELOPE #RUZ S BREASTSv WHICH hSPOILT THE STORY CONSIDERABLY v $ISPLAYING THAT TRADEMARK HUMOUR AGAIN HE THEN WRYLY ADDS hNOT THAT ) WOULDN T LIKE TO HAVE SEEN HER BREASTS IN ANOTHER CONTEXT BUT IT SIMPLY WASN T RIGHT FOR THE BOOK 0RODUCERS ARE TOO AFRAID OF CUTTING OUT MIDDLE !MERICA v )T APPEARS HE DOESN T DESPISE ADAPTATION IN ALL ITS FORMS HOWEVER AS HE HAS LATELY BEEN HELPING TO ADAPT HIS MOST RECENT NOVEL S HUGELY POPULAR "IRDS 7ITHOUT 7INGS INTO A STAGE PLAY WITH THE .ORFOLK BASED COMPANY %ASTERN !NGLES 4HE BOOK CONCERNS THE DESTRUCTION OF THE /TTOMAN %MPIRE IN THE &IRST 7ORLD 7AR AND $E "ERNIERES HAS HIGH HOPES FOR THE PRODUCTION SAYING THAT HE TRUSTS THE PLAY S SCRIPTWRITER )VAN #UTTING TO DO A GOOD JOB hMORE THAN HIMSELF v 3O WHAT S NEXT FOR THE VIRTUOSO JACK OF ALL TRADES h4O BE HONEST ) DON T KNOW ) DON T THINK ) LL EVER WRITE A BOOK AS GOOD AS "IRDS 7ITHOUT 7INGS ) WAS EXTREMELY PLEASED WITH THAT v #OULD IT BE THAT MUSIC IS HIS NEW CALLING h7ELL ) JUST DON T THINK ) LL EVER BE AS FULlLLED BY MUSIC IT S A BIT LIKE SEX IN THAT IT S A TEMPORARY FULlLMENT 7RITING IS THERE FOREVER v 4HAT BEING THE CASE MIDDLE !MERICA HAD BETTER WATCH OUT ,OUIS AND HIS MANDOLIN ARE HERE TO STAY

!RTS

4HEATRE

"OOKS

-! $IRECTING 0ROJECTS AT 5%! !NGELS IN !MERICA AND ! #LOCKWORK /RANGE /N THE LAST WEEKEND OF 3EPTEMBER 5%! 3TUDIO SHOWCASED THE EFFORTS OF -! DIRECTORS +IERAN 0EARSON AND 2OSS -C'REGOR !S THE ACCUMULATION OF THEIR YEAR S WORK THE STANDARD HAD TO BE HIGH AS A RESULT THE DIRECTORS CHOSE TWO VERY CHALLENGING PLAYS AND HAD THEIR SECOND AND THIRD YEAR CASTS REHEARSING INTENSELY THROUGHOUT THE SUMMER 4HE %VENT SENT *ACK #LARK AND .ICOLE (AZAN TO ASSESS THE PERFORMANCESx ! #LOCKWORK /RANGE ON STAGE ! CRAZY IDEA RIGHT 4HE NOVEL HAS SEEPED SO DEEPLY INTO POP CULTURE THAT YOU GET BANDS CALLED $EVOTCHKA AND DRUNKEN FRIENDS CALLING YOU THEIR @LITTLE $ROOG !DAPTING THE NOVEL FOR STAGE IS AKIN TO CHOOSING THE TALLEST MOUNTAIN IN THE RANGE AND DECIDING TO BOIL WATER ON TOP 9ET 0EARSON PULLS IT OFF WITH A TIGHT LITHE AND GENUINELY AFFECTING SCRIPT 4HE CAST ARE CAPTIVATING AND THEIR PHYSICALITY INTRIGUING FROM THE ROBOTIC MOVEMENTS OF THE 0RIEST TO THE JUNKY SHAKES OF A BOUND MEDICATED !LEX 4HE DECISION TO HAVE !LEX AND HER $ROOGS AS WOMEN PROVES BOTH EFFECTIVE AND DISTURBING AS ARE THE TWO REPRESENTATIONS OF !LEX ON STAGE EACH SPEAKING DURING DIFFERENT PHASES OF THE STORY UNTIL THEIR VOICES INTERTWINE AT THE END 4HE COSTUMES USE A LIMITED RANGE OF COLOURS VISCERALLY STRESSING ALIENATION BETWEEN GROUPS -INIMAL STAGING BRINGS THE CHARACTERS HUMANITY TO THE FORE WHICH MAYBE PLAYED A PART IN THE HURRIED EXIT OF A NAUSEOUS STUDENT DURING A PARTICULARLY VIOLENT SCENE (OWEVER THE PLAY WAS TOO KEEN TO VEER TO DRAMATIC EXTREMES %XAGGERATED ACCENTS AND OVERUSE OF SLOW MOTION DETRACTED FROM THE CLINICAL THEME 0EARSON TOLD 4HE %VENT h7E HAD THE BOOK FOR THE lRST TIME FOUR WEEKS AGO v 4HIS CONSIDERED THE PRODUCTION SHOULD BE APPLAUDED AS AN AFFECTING AND VERY SCARY SUCCESS 3O WATER BOILED

3EMI NAKED BODIES GAY AND LESBIAN LOVE SCENES AND EXPLICIT SEXUAL ACTION HAVE MADE !NGELS IN !MERICA INFAMOUS !DDRESSING THE EIGHTIES !)$3 CRISIS THIS DRAMATIC AND SENSITIVE SCRIPT IS A DIFlCULT FEAT FOR ANY DIRECTOR "UT COULD -C'REGOR RISE TO THE CHALLENGE ,ET S NOT BEAT AROUND THE BUSH THIS SHOW WAS LONG !NYONE WHO HAD EXPECTED TO BE DRUNK IN THE BAR BEFORE WOULD HAVE HAD THEIR HOPES DASHED (ANNAH 0ITT SUPERBLY PLAYED BY 2OANNA "OND REPEATEDLY SAYS THROUGHOUT THE PLAY h) DON T WAIT MORE THAN THREE AND THREE QUARTER HOURS FOR ANYONE v 4HE AUDIENCE HOWEVER WILL HAVE BEEN LUCKY IF THEIR FRIENDS WERE STILL WAITING FOR THEM IN THE BAR AFTER A PLAYTIME OF FOUR HOURS $ESPITE ITS OPERA LENGTH DURATION THE PERFORMANCE HAD SOME EXCELLENT FEATURES -ATT (ASSELL AND /LIVIA 6INALL WERE OUTSTANDING AS BROKEN DISPIRITED INDIVIDUALS IN AN UNFORGIVING SOCIETY AND IN A DRAMATIC SPLIT SCENE OPPOSITE -ATT 4EDFORD AND 4OM (ARTHILL THE LEVEL OF ACTING WAS HEAVEN SENT )N FACT A PHENOMENAL LEVEL OF FOCUS WAS DEMONSTRATED BY THE CAST ACCOMPANIED BY PACEY AND WITTY DIALOGUE AND WELL COMMUNICATED RELIGIOUS SYMBOLISM ON A SIMPLE AND EFFECTIVE SET $ESPITE ITS LENGTH ULTIMATELY THE PLAY WAS EXTREMELY WATCHABLE A TASTE OF BOTH HEAVEN AND HELL

4HE 4IME 4RAVELLER S 7IFE BY !UDREY .IFFENEGGER !LREADY AN INTERNATIONAL BESTSELLER 4HE 4IME 4RAVELLER S 7IFE BY !UDREY .IFFENEGGER IS FAST REACHING THE STATUS OF !LICE 3E BALD S 4HE ,OVELY "ONES DUE TO ITS SUCCESS AND CROSS MARKET APPEAL .IFFENEGGER S PORTRAYEL OF THE COMPLEX RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN CHARACTERS (ENRY AND #LARE IS DEEPLY POIGNANT AND CONVINCING DESPITE THE CONCEPT OF TIME TRAVEL SEEMING FAR FETCHED 4HE STORY FOLLOWS THE CHARACTER OF (ENRY $ETAMBLE WHO SUFFERS FROM A GENETIC CONDITION WHICH SPONTANEOUSLY PULLS HIM INTO TIME TRAVEL 9ET THE NOVEL S FOCUS ON THE AFFECTS OF HIS CONDITION AND HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH #LAIRE PROVIDES THE ADDICTIVE READING WHICH HAS MADE THIS NOVEL SO POPULAR 4HE NARRATIVE IS DIVIDED INTO SEPARATE ACCOUNTS BY (ENRY AND #LAIRE SPANNING FROM THE CHARACTERS EARLY CHILDHOOD MEEETINGS TO THEIR LATER MARRIAGE !LTHOUGH THIS IMAGINATIVE SCENARIO MAY SEEM HARD TO GRASP WITHIN THE lRST FEW CHAP TERS .IFFENEGGER MAKES UP FOR THIS THROUGH HER INTELLIGENT SUBTLE REFERENCES TO ALTERNATE PHASES OF TIME WHICH SUPPLY A SHARP REmECTION OF THE DISTANCE AND LONGING BETWEEN THE CHARACTERS ! BOLD AND MAGICAL EFFECT COMES FROM THIS HIGHLY ORIGINAL NOVEL AND THE lNAL OUTCOME OF #LAIRE AND (ENRY S INTIMATE AND INTENSE CONNECTION IS ENTICING AND COMPELLING TO ANYONE WHO FALLS UNDER THE SPELL OF THIS NOVEL

$AVINA 7ILSON

THE EVENT

46

0RIMETIME

4HE 8 &ACTOR )46 PM 3ATURDAYS 4HE 8 &ACTOR HAS MADE A RETURN TO OUR SCREENS AND THIS 3ATURDAY SEES THE THREE JUDGES NARROW THE POP STAR HOPEFULS DOWN TO THE LAST TWELVE WITH 3IMON #OWELL TAK ING HIS CONTESTANTS TO HIS LUXURY HOME IN -IAMI ,OUIS 7ALSH S ACTS AT HIS WEEKEND RETREAT $RO MOLAND #ASTLE IN )RELAND AND 3HARON /SBOURNE TAKING HER l NALISTS TO HER SUITE IN ,ONDON S $ORCHESTER HOTEL 4HE BEST PART OF THE 8 &ACTOR SERIES IS ESSENTIALLY OVER 4HE EARLY ROUNDS WHERE THE TEAM TRAVEL ROUND THE COUNTRY TO HEAR OPEN AUDITIONS OFFER THE MOST ENTER TAINMENT /NE DELUDED HOPEFUL AFTER ANOTHER TAKES THE STAGE AND SINGS THEIR HEART OUT ONLY TO BE

TOLD THEY ARE RUBBISH 9OU WOULD THINK THE SCENARIO OF 3IMON #OW ELL DELIVERING A SCATHING ATTACK TO STARRY EYED TEENAGERS WOULD GET BORING BUT IT SEEMS TO MAINTAIN ITS APPEAL 4HE SERIES HAS NOW REACHED THE LATTER STAGES WITH EACH JUDGE PRE PARING TO REDUCE THEIR PERFORMERS FROM EIGHT TO FOUR 5NFORTUNATELY ALL THE SINGERS AND BANDS ARE HALF DECENT FROM NOW ON AND SO WE MUST HOPE FOR DRAMA AND TEARS FOR A SOURCE OF LAUGHS 4HIS IS THE REAL REASON FOR WATCHING THESE RE ALITY SHOWS 4HERE IS A SERIOUS QUESTION OVER WHETHER MUSIC REALITY 46 SHOWS SHOULD EVEN CONTINUE ! LIST OF PAST WINNERS WOULD PROBA

3OAPS (OLLYOAKS 4HIS WEEK HAS BEEN lLLED WITH CLASSIC SOAP DRAMA FROM "ECCA S UNWANTED ENGAGEMENT TO *USTIN TO +ATHY S FAMILY FALLING APART 7ITH TENSIONS RISING HIGH IN #HESTER IT IS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE THINGS COME TO A HEAD )S "ECCA GOING TO MARRY *USTIN OUT OF PITY .ANCY CLEARLY OPPOSED THIS MESS OF AN ENGAGEMENT AND WAS LEFT NO CHOICE BUT TO CALL ON HER TRUSTY MOTHER TO SAVE THE DAY (OWEVER THE MOTHER DAUGHTER CONFRONTATION FAILED TO HAVE THE DESIRED EFFECT AND LEFT "ECCA STRUGGLING TO TELL HER MUM THAT SHE IN FACT DOESN T WANT TO MARRY *USTIN 4HE DRAMA CONTINUES WITH THE "ARNES FAMILY WHERE MOTHER +ATHY WAS LITERALLY SLAPPED INTO SHOCK AS HER TWO DAUGHTERS ABANDONED HER AFTER SHE ACCUSED -IKE FOR DESTROYING EVE RYTHING LEAVING THEM NO CHOICE BUT TO MOVE OUT !S FOR TEENAGERS #RAIG *OHN 0AUL AND 3ONNY HAVE STRUGGLED TO KEEP THEIR TEMPERS UNDER CONTROL AT THE FOOTBALL TRIALS /N THE UP SIDE $OMINIC AND 4INA lNALLY GOT HEAT ED UP AND RESOLVED THEIR BEDROOM ISSUES IN THE KITCHEN NO LONGER NEED ING @HERO TO THE RESCUE /" WHO JUST COULDN T HELP INTERFERING #LARE AND -AX S RELATIONSHIP WAS ON THE MEND BUT WILL THIS NEW SECRET BETWEEN #LARE AND 7ARREN TEAR THEM APART +EEP WATCHING TO lND OUT MORE !MANDA ,IM

.EIGHBOURS 3TINGRAY ARRANGED A ROMANTIC DAY AT A SPA WITH 2ACHEL IN ORDER TO EASE HER FEARS ABOUT HIS RELATIONSHIPS WITH 3KYE ,ITTLE DID HE KNOW +ARL AND 3USAN HAD ALSO CHECKED INTO THE VERY SAME SPA AND DESPITE NAR ROWLY AVOIDING EACH OTHER SEVERAL TIMES EVENTUALLY BOTH THEIR SECRETS WERE REVEALED 2ACHEL WAS SO UPSET OVER THE BETRAYAL OF HER DEAD FATHER SHE MOVED OUT OF 3USAN S HOUSE 4O FORCE 2OBERT OUT OF HIDING A JEALOUS )ZZY SUGGESTED 0AUL AND 'AIL STAGE A FAKE WEDDING AND 0AUL ADMITTED TO 'AIL HE STILL LOVES HER -ISCHKA HAD AN EVENTFUL WEEK lRST REVEAL ING HERSELF TO BE THE WORLD EXPERT ON 3HANE 7ARNE DURING HIS CAMEO WHICH SEEMINGLY CONSISTED OF THE WORDS h4HANKSv AND h'OOD ON YA SONNYv ,ATER THE SAME DAY -ISCHKA WAS MYSTERIOUSLY ABDUCTED BY HER EX HUSBAND S GOONS WHICH ENDED IN ,OU RESOLVING TO lND HER hWHAT EVER IT TOOKv "REE DROPPED HER 0ARIS (ILTON LOOK A LONG BLONDE WIG AND A TOY DOG IN FAVOUR OF BLACK LIPSTICK A MONOTONOUS VOICE AND A NEW HOBBY CRASHING BEREAVEMENT SUPPORT MEETINGS /ODLES OF .OO DLES .ED AND +ARL S CHILDRENS BAND HIT ROCKY WATERS THIS WEEK AS *US TINE THE 9OKO /NO OF %RINSBOROUGH REPLACED +ARL AND HIS KANGAROO COSTUME WITH HERSELF RESULTING IN THE BAND S SPLIT (OWEVER #ARMELLA MADE .ED REALISE SHE WAS USING HIM AND /ODLES OF .OODLES REFORMED +IERA / "RIEN

THE EVENT

BLY PROVOKE A RESPONSE OF hWHO v IN MOST PEOPLE WITH ONLY 7ILL 9OUNG AND ,EMAR WHO CAME THIRD ON THE ""# S &AME !CAD EMY AS NOTABLE SUCCESSES (OW EVER IT S NOT REALLY THE TALENT OR MUSIC THAT GRABS THE AUDIENCES IT S THE ARGUMENTS BETWEEN PER FORMERS THE SHOUTING OF THE JUDG ES AND THE MANY MANY TEARS 4HE SHOW S PRODUCERS DO THEIR BEST TO UP THE EMOTIONAL ANTE WITH SLOW BACKGROUND MUSIC AND POIGNANT NARRATION THAT EXPLAINS HOW EACH CONTESTANT HAS OVERCOME ADVERSI TY IN THEIR OWN SPECIAL WAY )T CAN BE A LITTLE MONOTONOUS AT TIMES BUT THERE ARE ALWAYS ONE OR TWO CONTESTANTS THAT MAKE IT WORTH WATCHING

,OOK OUT FOR THE YEAR OLD BOY 3EAN WHO HAS YET TO CONTROL HIS NERVES AND lNISH A SONG .O DOUBT HE WILL GET THE GRANNY VOTE AND WE WILL HAVE FORGOTTEN THE WINNER BY #HRISTMAS 3TILL ON A

3ATURDAY NIGHT BEFORE YOU HEAD OUT YOU MIGHT AS WELL ALLOW YOUR SELF TO GET DRAWN INTO THE SPECTA CLE YOU NEVER KNOW YOU MIGHT SEE THE NEXT -ICHELLE -C-ANUS !NTHONY *ACKSON

46 $6$

,OST 3ERIES a /UT .OW !FTER THE SPECTACULAR CLIFF HANGER OF SERIES ONE ,OST MAINTAINS THE SUSPENSE IN THE SECOND SERIES BY IN TRODUCING A NEW CHARACTER AND AN UNFAMILIAR SCENE RATHER THAN IMME DIATELY ANSWERING ANY OF THE QUES TIONS THAT HAVE BEEN PLAGUING VIEW ERS WORLD WIDE (OWEVER WE SOON DISCOVER THE ANSWER TO THAT NAG GING QUESTION WHAT S IN THE HATCH /NE OF THE SECRETS OF ,OST S SUCCESS IS THE LARGE NUMBER OF DIVERSE CENTRAL CHARACTERS 4HIS PARTLY EXPLAINS HOW THEY CAN STILL BE STRANDED ON THE ISLAND WITHOUT THE STORY DESCENDING INTO BORE DOM $OCTOR *ACK -ATTHEW &OX IS STILL THE LEADER OF THE GROUP WHICH MAKES FOR SEVERAL INTERESTING POWER STRUGGLES AND CRIMINAL +ATE %VANGELINE ,ILLY IS STILL HAVING

AS MUCH TROUBLE AS EVER DECIDING BETWEEN HIM AND 3AWYER THE SEXY SADOMASOCHIST *OSH (OLLOWAY 9ES THE RAFT IDEA DIDN T QUITE WORK OUT AS PLANNED 3AWYER IS ALIVE BUT WOUNDED -ICHAEL (A ROLD 0ERRINEAU IS FRANTIC ABOUT THE KIDNAPPING OF HIS SON 7ALT WHICH LEADS TO A DISPLAY OF JUST HOW FAR A PARENT WILL GO FOR THEIR CHILD AND *IN $ANIEL $AE +IM HAS DISAPPEARED IN THE SEA 'UESS WHERE OUR SURVIVORS WASH UP 9EP BACK ON THAT ISLAND -EANWHILE THERE ARE THE REST OF THE OLD FAVOURITES TO KEEP US ENTHRALLED AS WELL AS A NEW GROUP @THE 4AILIES HEADED BY DISTRUSTFUL EX COP !NA ,UCIA -ICHELLE 2OD RIGUEZ AND PRIEST %KO !DEWALE !KINNUOYE !GBAJE 4HE CHARACTERS

ALL HAVE INTERESTING HISTORIES WHICH ARE SLOWLY TEASED OUT BY mASHBACKS 7E lNALLY GET INTRODUCED TO @4HE /THERS WHO ARE DElNITELY NOT WHAT THEY SEEM AND THE WRITERS CONTINUALLY GIVE US CLUES TO THE TRUE NATURE OF THE ISLAND 7HEN WE DO lND ANSWERS TO SOME OF OUR QUES TIONS THEY ARE NEVER COMPLETE AND OFTEN THROW UP FURTHER QUANDARIES 3ERIES TWO IS AS COMPELLING AS EVER WITH ITS ATTRACTIVE CHARAC TERS WHO THIS TIME HAVE A REASON FOR THE APPARENTLY ENDLESS SUP PLY OF MAKEUP AND CLEAN CLOTHES AND AN ABUNDANCE OF INTERWO VEN RELIGIOUS SUPERNATURAL AND PHILOSOPHICAL PLOT THREADS WHICH THOUGH OFTEN BIZARRE MAKE FOR ADDICTIVE ENTERTAINING VIEWING (OLLY #URTIS

46 #LASSICS &UN (OUSE 4HINK GO KARTS 4HINK MULLETS 4HINK GUNGE &OR THOSE WHO CRAVED ADVENTURE AS A CHILD OF THE S &UN (OUSE WAS THE ULTIMATE IN DREAM INSPIRING CHILDHOOD TEL EVISION 4WO TEAMS OF TWO BAT TLED THROUGH A SERIES OF CHALLENGES BEFORE COMPETING IN THE &UN +ART 'RAND 0RIX RACING AROUND THE STU DIO IN YELLOW AND RED GO KARTS WITH THE GOAL OF WINNING THE CHANCE TO ENTER THE FABLED &UN (OUSE

4HE HOUSE ITSELF WAS A MYRIAD OF COLOURED FOAM BALL PITS AND SLIPPERY SLIDES &IFTEEN PRIZE TAGS WERE DOTTED AROUND THE COURSE AND CONTESTANTS COULD COLLECT THREE BEFORE SWAPPING WITH THEIR PARTNER 4HE MAN AIM WAS TO lND THE 0OWER 0RIZE TAG WHICH ALONG WITH ANSWERING A GENERAL KNOWL EDGE QUESTION WAS THE KEY TO AN AMAZING PRIZE LIKE A HOLIDAY (OSTED BY THE MULLET HAIRED

0AT 3HARP AND IDENTICAL TWINS -ELANIE AND -ARTINE 'RANT NOW PROUD EMPLOYEES OF "URGER +ING THE SHOW LASTED A CREDIBLE ELEVEN SERIES FROM )T IS A PRO GRAMME THAT MOST PEOPLE OF OUR GENERATION TREASURED SOMETHING ILLUSTRATED BY THE ONLINE PETITION TO BRING BACK THE SHOW .OW ALL TOGETHER h&UN (OUSExIT S A WHOLE LOT OF FUN PRIZES TO BE WONxv &IONA "ILLINGS

7HO 7ANTS TO "E A 3UPERHERO 46

7ITH THE GROWING TREND OF COMIC BOOK THEMES mOODING THE MARKET .ATASHA +UNDAIKER TAKES A LOOK AT THE MORE UNIQUE AND SURREAL SHOWS FROM ACROSS THE POND THAT ARE MAKING SURE THE SUPERHERO CRAZE IS BACK WITH A VENGEANCE

4

HE COMIC BOOK SCENE HAS BEEN MAKING ITS MARK IN THE FILM INDUSTRY AS OF LATE WITH BIG SCREEN ADAPTATIONS SUCH AS 8 -EN 3PIDERMAN AND 3UPERMAN DRAWING IN A MORE MAINSTREAM AUDIENCE AND ADDING TO THE ALREADY MASSIVE WORLDWIDE COMIC FAN BASE 7ITH THE GROWING INTEREST IN SHOWS SUCH AS 3MALLVILLE AND THE MARKED INCREASE IN SUPERNATURALLY THEMED SHOWS IT IS NO SURPRISE THAT TELEVISION STUDIOS ARE CAPITALIZING ON THE GROWING TREND .EW SHOW !QUAMAN BASED ON THE $# COMIC CHARACTER OF THE SAME NAME RECENTLY REARED ITS HEAD IN THE FORM OF A PILOT )T HAD ALL THE GLOSS OF THE CLASSIC 7" SHOWS LIKE $AWSON S #REEK AND 4HE /# BEAUTIFUL CAST AMAZING SCENERY AND WISTFUL BANTER BUT UNFORTUNATELY IT WAS NOT PICKED UP BY ANY NETWORK TO BE IN ITS PRIME TIME LINEUP DESPITE OCCUPYING THE NUMBER ONE SLOT OF THE MOST DOWNLOADED 46 SHOW ON I4UNES !NOTHER SHOW IS ."# S APTLY TITLED (EROES A DRAMA SERIES IN WHICH PEOPLE ALL OVER THE WORLD WAKE UP TO DISCOVER THAT THEY HAVE SUPERPOWERS 'RANTED IT IS A QUICK WAY OF ENDOWING CHARACTERS WITH POWERS WITHOUT SOME LONG MYTHOLOGY OR BACK STORY TO THEM AND WITH NOT EVEN A WHIFF OF RADIOACTIVE WASTE IT PULLS THE AUDIENCE DEEP INTO THE MYSTERY OF IT ALL 4HE SHOW FOCUSES ON CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT CHARTING THE TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS OF THE NEW SUPER POWERED HUMANS AND HOW THE CHANGE AFFECTS THEIR LIVES AND THEIR FAMILIES EMOTIONALLY AND PSYCHOLOGICALLY !S WITH MOST COMIC BOOK THEMED PLOTS AS LONG AS YOU CAN SUSPEND

YOUR DISBELIEF THE SHOWS MIGHT JUST SURPRISE YOU !LONGSIDE OUR OBSESSION WITH ALL THINGS SUPER THE FASCINATION WITH REALITY 46 HAS BEEN TAKING THE WORLD BY STORM FROM THE MILD MANNERED CANDID CAMERA SHOWS TO THE NOW PRETERNATURAL BEHAVIOUR STUDY THAT IS #HANNEL S "IG "ROTHER 4HE 53 CHANNEL 3CI &I IS TAKING THESE FIXATIONS TO ANOTHER LEVEL BY COMBINING BOTH CRAZES TO FORM THE PERFECT SHOW 7HO 7ANTS TO "E A 3UPERHERO (OSTED AND JUDGED BY LEGENDARY COMIC BOOK CREATOR 3TAN ,EE 3PIDERMAN (ULK 4HE &ANTASTIC &OUR THE SHOW IS A COMPETITION REALITY SERIES WHICH CHALLENGES THE PUBLIC TO CREATE THEIR VERY OWN SUPERHERO COMPLETE WITH SUPERPOWERS AND OFTEN SPANDEX HOME MADE COSTUMES 4HE FIRST ROUND IS REMINISCENT OF 4HE 8 &ACTOR AND IS AS SIDE SPLITTINGLY FUNNY WITH BOTH THE WEIRD AND THE WONDERFUL COMING THOUGH THE DOORS TO WIN hTHE BEST REALITY COMPETITION PRIZE YET )MMORTALITYv WITH THE WINNING CHARACTER STARRING IN THEIR VERY OWN $ARK (ORSE COMIC BOOK WRITTEN BY ,EE AND AN ORIGINAL MOVIE TO BE AIRED ON 3CI &I #HANNEL ,EE BECOMES ALMOST A 7IZARD OF /Z FIGURE JUDGING VIA VIDEO LINK FOR MOST OF THE ROUNDS 4HE CHOSEN ONES ARE ASKED TO LEAVE THEIR FORMER LIVES BEHIND INCLUDING QUITTING THEIR JOBS AS &IREMEN #OMPUTER %NGINEERS AND INTERIOR DESIGNERS TO LIVE AS THEIR SUPERHERO IDENTITIES MOVING INTO A SECRET LAIR TO BEGIN THE TRANSFORMATION INTO THEIR ALTER EGOS /VER THE COURSE OF SIX WEEKS THEY WILL TEST THEIR METTLE TRY TO OVERCOME THEIR LIMITATIONS AND DO WHAT IT TAKES TO PROVE THAT THEY TRULY ARE SUPER /BVIOUSLY NO ONE WILL BE LE API N G OVE R T AL L B U I L D I N GS IN A S I N GL E BOUN D I N S T E A D T H E CON T E S T AN T S ARE

CH AL L E N GE D TO RE PRE S E N T T H E T RAI T S W H I CH E VE RY T RUE S UPE RH E RO M US T POS S E S S n VI RT UE COURAGE I N T E GRI T Y SELF SACRIFICE COMPASSION AND RESOURCEFULNESS 4HERE ARE SOME CRAZY CHALLENGES IN THE SHOW FROM RESISTING TEMPTATION TELEPHONE BOOTH STYLE COSTUME CHANGES TO TESTING THEIR KNOWLEDGE OF THE LAW AND EVEN MAKING OUR WANNABE HEROES BRAVE A TRIO OF ATTACK DOGS %VERY WEEK A SUPERHERO IS OUSTED FROM THE SHOW COMPLETE WITH ,EE S @!PPRENTICE STYLE SLOGAN h4URN IN YOUR COSTUMEv 7HAT MAKES THE SHOW ENTERTAINING IS THE SHEER FERVOUR AND ENTHUSIASM OF THE CONTESTANTS n YOU CAN T FAKE THIS KIND OF PASSION 7ELL ACTUALLY YOU CAN AS IT TURNS OUT 3HOCKINGLY THE MAJORITY OF THE CONTESTANTS WERE IN FACT ACTORS PUTTING A DAMPENER ON THE WHOLE AUTHENTICITY OF THE SERIES AND LUMPING IT IN THE SAME CATEGORY AS THE GENERIC

h4O RID THE WORLD OF BULLIES ONE DOUGHNUT AT A TIME v

WANNABE @REALITY SHOWS /NE CAN ONLY HOPE THAT 3TAN ,EE WAS CLUELESS ABOUT THIS FACT )RRESPECTIVE OF THIS THE HILARIOUS CAST IS WELL WORTH WATCHING SUCH AS THE BANANA LOVING -ONKEY 7OMAN AND -AJOR 6ICTORY DONNING THE BEST AND LARGEST SUPERHERO HAIR KNOWN TO MAN AND A MEMORABLE CATCHPHRASE h"E A WINNER NOT A WIENER v 4HE MOST NOTICEABLE HERO HAS TO BE &AT -OMMA AKA FORTY TWO YEAR OLD SINGLE MOTHER .ELL 7ILSON WHO THANKFULLY IS THE ONE GENUINE CONTESTANT 7HEREAS MOST OF THE WOMEN ADHERE TO THE PROUD COMIC TRADITION OF BATTLING EVIL IN SKIMPY OUTFITS SHE STANDS APART PACKING A UTILITY BELT RINGED WITH DOUGHNUTS IN HER QUEST TO hRID THE WORLD OF BULLIES ONE DOUGHNUT AT A TIME v 4HE SHOW IS ENTERTAINING AND THOROUGHLY COMICAL SHOWING YOU JUST HOW MAD TELEVISION HAS BECOME

THE EVENT

#REATIVE 7RITING

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02/3%

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2IVER -OON

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4HE 2IVER -OON 3ALACIOUSLY LICKS THE BACKS /F lREmIES !S THEY DANCE IN A TRANCE 2OUND THE HALO OF A LAMPPOST ,IES OF SMILES mY LIKE WASPS !ROUND BEEHIVES !ND ) SIT #ROSS LEGGED 7ATCHING AND WAITING AS WARBLERS 3ING TILL THE -OON S SMILE CRACKS !ND ) AM LEFT STANDING !LONE 7ITH ONLY A SMILE TO HIDE BEHIND

)T S FUNNY HOW SOME THINGS SLIP YOUR MIND SO EASILY ) HAD FORGOTTEN UNTIL NOW ) HAD BEEN A CHILD ONCE "UT NOW IT IS AS CLEAR AND REAL AS THE OUTCOME OF THE NEXT FEW SPLIT SECONDS !S IF ) WERE THEM ) CAN SEE MYSELF FROM MY PARENTS PERSPECTIVE LEANING OVER MY PRAM TO TICKLE ME STRANGE THOUGH TO SEE MYSELF FROM THEIR EYES "UT MY EARLIEST MEMORY A VISIT TO A DUCK POND IS A MEMORY THAT S ALWAYS STUCK WITH ME A CLEAR SET OF STILL IMAGES INTERSPERSED WITH BLANKNESS THE DUCKS THE TREES THE WATER EVERYTHING EXCEPT ME IN FACT "UT ) KNOW HOW ) WOULD HAVE LOOKED THE RED JACKET NEW SO IT WAS A FEW SIZES TOO LARGE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BRAND NEW IN FACT AND THEREFORE RED LIKE 6ALENTINE S ) HAVE RED BOOTS TOO SHINY AND ALWAYS WET WITH SOMETHING .AVY BLUE SHORTS AND PAPER WHITE LEGS 4HERE IS A PICTURE OF ME DRESSED LIKE THIS THAT S WHY ) REMEMBER IT NOW IT MUST HAVE BEEN IN THE PARK ) HAD THESE BIG RED CHEEKS BLOATED AND ROUND LIKE ) WAS HIDING APPLES INSIDE 4HE PHOTOGRAPH WAS TAKEN IN AUTUMN THE LEAVES TOASTED GOLDEN CARAMELS AND SPREAD ACROSS THE GREEN GRASS LIKE A PILE OF JIGSAW PIECES THERE ARE EVEN LEAVES RED ENOUGH TO COMPLEMENT MY CHEEKS JACKET AND BOOTS 7E PLAY IN THE LEAVES IN THE PARK !NTOINE AND ) BUILDING PILES AS TALL AS WE WERE THEN RUN THROUGH THEM KICKING AND LAUGHING !UTUMN WAS THE BEST TIME FOR BEST FRIENDS "UT WE GREW UP ) REMEMBER PHOTOGRAPH AFTER PHOTOGRAPH OF ME GROWING UP THE ONE THAT IS CLEAREST TO ME NOW IS FROM WHEN ) WAS OR YEARS OLD 4HE lRST MEMORY OF NOT BEING A CHILD ANY LONGER MY CHEEKS RECEDED THIS PARTICULAR PHOTOGRAPH WENT ON THE SIDEBOARD IN THE LIVING ROOM MY PARENTS PRIDE AND JOY )T HAS NEVER MOVED )F WE WENT THERE RIGHT NOW ME AND YOU IT WOULD STILL BE THERE ) CAN SEE SO MANY MORE PHOTOGRAPHS IN MY FOOTBALL UNIFORM ANOTHER AUTUMN MEMORY ) LOVED FOOTBALL LOVED IT LIKE YOU LOVE READING AND ) LOVED AUTUMN BUT NOT LIKE ) LOVED THE SPRING 3PRING WAS THE TURNING POINT IT WAS THE INDICATOR OF THE HOLIDAYS 3PRING NIGHTS AND DAYDREAMS SPENT lLLING MYSELF WITH ANTICIPATION AND PLANS OF THE HOBBY IN WHICH ) ENGAGE MY IDLE SUMMER FORCES INTO /NE SUMMER MY FATHER AND ) IN PREPARATION FOR THE AUTUMN AND HER STRONG WINDS BUILT AN ARMY OF KITES ) CAN REMEMBER mYING THE ONES WE LIKED BEST IN THE WARM DRY WINDS OF /CTOBER 7E EVEN NAMED THE BIGGEST KITE /CTOBER 7IN S "UT THE MAKING OF THE KITES ) ENJOY MOST BY THE TIME WE WERE mYING THEM MY LOOSE ATTENTION IS DREAMING OF FOOTBALL ONCE MORE %VERY YEAR IN AUTUMN MY FATHER AND ) MAKE OUR PILGRIMAGE TO THE SAME OLD TAILOR TO HAVE MY NEW FOOTBALL JERSEY EMBROIDERED WITH MY SCHOOL S COAT OF ARMS AND MY DAD S OLD SHIRT NUMBER ON THE REVERSE 4HE OLD MAN WAS MY GRANDFATHER IN THE ABSENCE OF A REAL ONE EVERY YEAR WE VISIT HIM AND EVERY YEAR HE GREETS ME WITH THE SAME SMILE AND THE SAME @MY HOW YOU VE GROWN THE CHALK SOMETIMES FALLING FROM BEHIND HIS EAR WHEN HE SMILES TOO WIDELY (E SMILES MORE THAN THE MEMORIES OF MY GRANDMOTHER SHE WAS STERN AND TOO STRICT BUT IT STILL DOESN T STOP ME FROM PRESENTING HER WITH A TEAR ON MY CHEEK AT HER FUNERAL ; =

(5-!. 34!45% ENTERS CENTER STAGE CARRYING A PEDESTAL (E PLACES THE PEDESTAL IN POSITION THEN ONCE SATISlED STANDS UPON IT AND STRIKES A POSE

"Y )MAN 3ID

3ONNET 4HE lRST TIME THAT WE MET YOUR HAIR WAS DYED ! SILVER PURPLE VIOLETS MIXED WITH ASH !ND MOONLIT SNOW 4HE LUNGS OF WINTER SIGHED !BOUT THE GREY CONCRETE YOU WERE A SLASH /F COLOUR UNDERNEATH THE PEARLY SKIES .EXT WEEK ) SAW THAT YOU HAD TURNED TO WHITE ! DAZZLING STREAK THAT TURNED TO MOONS YOUR EYES !ND THEN A MELLOW RED LIKE CANDLE LIGHT ) MARKED SINCE THEN THAT EVERYWHERE YOU WENT 9OU GAVE OFF mOWERS LIKE A BRUSH OF SPRING 0ETALS DROPPED ALONG THE ROAD A SCENT /F TULIPS GINGERS ORCHIDS HUES THAT SING !ND ) LIVE OFF SINCE THEN MY MODEST THEFT 0ICKING UP THE ROSES THAT YOU LEFT "Y !NDREA 4ALLARITA

/RION (OW BEAUTIFUL IT IS THIS MY COMPLETE DISSOLUTION 4HAT DEmOWERS BEFORE THE PALE GREY EYES OF STARS 3O BRIEF IT BURNS NOT IN THEIR REVOLUTIONS /NLY IN THE EMPTINESS OF SILENT STREETS AND BARS !S ) SEE WHEN MY MEMORY SPARKS OUT 3OUNDS OF KNIVES SOUNDS OF GUITARS 4HAT SING AND LOSE EACH OTHER IN THE SHOUT /F CROWDS UNDER THE METRO OF PASSERS BY /R IN A SOUND OF ANCIENT WAVES THAT DARK AND LONELY ROLL ABOUT 7ALKING THROUGH THE STREETS WHERE COLOURS DIE ) CANNOT EVEN SEE THE BEAUTY OF THE ENERGY 4HAT KEEPS ME LEAPING TO THE SKY 7HAT AM ) -E n ) AM THE THUNDER S ELEGY 4HE STRONGEST THING INVULNERABLE TO TEARS 4HE "IRD OF &LAME A PORTRAIT OF SOLIDITY

!N /,$ 42!-0 ENTERS THE STAGE NOTICES THE (5-!. 34!45% THEN EXAMINES HIM /,$ 42!-0 $O YOU EVER GET TIRED OF BEING STARED AT (5-!. 34!45% REACTS TO MONEY BEING THROWN INTO HAT BY PASSERS BY 3TRIKES A POSE /,$ 42!-0 4HOUGHT SO ) WAS ON THE UNDERGROUND EARLIER AND NOTICED HOW PEOPLE STARE 4HEY DON T JUST STARE 4HEY STARE 9OU KNOW LOOKING FOR SOMETHING THAT WILL DETRACT THEM FROM THINKING ,IKE LIKE ALCOHOL YOU KNOW 0AUSE $O YOU DRINK (5-!. 34!45% STRIKES A POSE /,$ 42!-0 4HOUGHT SO ) COULD TELL BY THE WAY YOU APPLIED YOUR LIPSTICK 9OU KNOW PEOPLE OFTEN HIDE BEHIND MASKS ,IKE THIS BOTTLE S MY MASK AND THAT MAKE UP IS YOUR MASK -ASKS ARE WHAT MAKE US INVISIBLE $O YOU EVER FEEL INVISIBLE (5-!. 34!45% STRIKES A POSE /,$ 42!-0 )N AN INVISIBLE WORLD )NVISIBLE /,$ -!. WALKS AROUND (5-!. 34!45% THEN BACK TO CENTRE 4HEN PLACES STICK INTO HIS HANDS 4HE STICK FALLS /,$ 42!-0 #HUCKLES 'RAVITY ; = "Y )MAN 3ID

"Y % - #RISP

-E AND THE FURY OF MY TWENTY YEARS "Y !NDREA 4ALLARITA

3END IN YOUR 0S 0OETRY 0ROSE AND 0LAYS %MAIL YOUR STUFF TO )MAN 3ID AT CONCRETE CREATIVEWRITING UEA AC UK OR I SID UEA AC UK

THE EVENT

&EATURE

$INOSAURS OF HIP HOP !N EXCLUSIVE PHONE INTERVIEW WITH *URASSIC S !KIL :AAKIR AKA 3OUP SHEDS SOME LIGHT ON THE WORKINGS OF ONE OF HIP HOP S OLDEST AND MOST EXCITING GROUPS 'REG 3ULLIVAN SPEAKS TO THE MAN HIMSELF h2IGHT BASICALLY WHEN WE SAY FREE DOM WE WANT YOU GUYS TO RAISE YOUR lSTS IN THE AIR LIKE THISv #HALI NA 5%! .ORWICH &REEDOM FOR MANY IS WHAT *URASSIC STAND FOR &REEDOM FROM CONFORMITY AND FREEDOM FROM THE MAINSTREAM OF A GENRE THAT S CON STANTLY HACKED DOWN BY A @BLING EGOTISTICAL NATURE &OR NEARLY YEARS NOW SINCE THE RELEASE OF THEIR DEBUT THEIR SELF TITLED INDEPENDENT %0 THAT SOLD COPIES WORLDWIDE *URASSIC HAVE COME AS A BREATH OF FRESH AIR AMONG THE *AY : S AND 0 $IDDY S OF TODAY S HIP HOP LANDSCAPE 4HEIR NO FRILLS ETHOS AND MUSICAL APPROACH HAS MEANT THEIR OUTPUT HAS ALWAYS BEEN THAT OF THE OLD SCHOOL NATURE REMINISCENT OF DAYS WHEN

h$ESCRIBE US IN THREE WORDS &!" 5 ,/53 v

GRAFlTI WAS THE ARTISTIC VOICE OF THE INNER CITY AND THE ARTISTS ROAMED THE STREETS OF .9# WITH ALL BUT A SPRAY CAN AND B BOX PUMPING OUT THE LATEST 2UN $-# SINGLE * HAVE ALWAYS BEEN ONE HELL OF A NOSTALGIA TRIP FUSING UNDERGROUND BEATS WITH A COMPELLING LYRICAL TALENT THAT FEW HIP HOP BANDS OF THE ST CENTURY SUCCESSFULLY ADVOCATE -ONDAY S GIG WAS MET WITH RAPTUROUS HYSTERIA BY A HUGELY ENTHUSIASTIC 5%! CROWD PROVING THAT *URASSIC REALLY ARE A BAND OF THE PEOPLE 4HEIR LYRICAL MALARIA WAS CHANNELLED THROUGH WITH A BUZZ OF ENERGY THAT ROCK BANDS LET ALONE HIP HOP BANDS MUST STRUGGLE TO COMPETE WITH 4HEIR THIRD MAJOR LABEL RELEASE &EEDBACK IS WHAT THESE GUYS ARE HERE

TO PUSH ALTHOUGH A SET LIST CONSIST ING OF CROWD PLEASERS IS WHAT WE GET .OBODY COMPLAINS THOUGH ! $AY AT THE 2ACES #ONCRETE 3CHOOLYARD &REEDOM ALL THE CLASSICS PUMPING THROUGH THE 5%! SOUND SYSTEM WITH A RELENTLESS DYNAMIC THAT )RON -AID EN WOULD BE PROUD OF 4HEIR POST GIG CROWD INTERACTION FOR SOME MAY HAVE COME ACROSS IN A mURRY OF SELmESS PROMOTION BUT FOR THOSE WHO HAVE FOLLOWED * FROM THE BEGINNING IT S OBVIOUS THAT YOU LL PROBABLY NEVER SEE ANOTHER HIP HOP BAND MORE DOWN TO EARTH THAN THESE GUYS &AST FORWARD TO PM ON 7EDNES DAY AFTERNOON AND 4HE %VENT IS EXPECTING A CALL FROM ONE OF THE MEMBERS FOR A QUICK CHAT ABOUT -ONDAY S SHOW AND THE RELEASE OF

THEIR NEW ,0 4HE TEN MINUTES OF SIT TING ANXIOUSLY BY THE PHONE WAITING FOR IT TO RING ARE MIGHTY LONG EVEN IF * ARE THE NO NONSENSE BAND THAT PACK LITTLE EGOTISTICAL PUNCH THE LAST COUPLE OF MINUTES BEFORE THE CALL FEEL FRIGGIN OVERWROUGHT /N THE OTHER END OF THE LINE IS !KIL :AAKIR 3OUP ONE OF THE FOUNDING MEMBERS OF * "EFORE JOINING THE BAND :AAKIR WAS A COL LEGE RADIO PROMOTIONS REP AT ,OUD AND )NTERSCOPE 2ECORDS AND WAS INSTRUMENTAL IN GETTING -OBB $EEP SIGNED TO ,OUD 2ECORDS IN THE EARLY S 2UMOUR HAS IT THAT HIS BAND MATE .U -ARK WHILE WORKING AT #ORRECT 2ECORDS IN THE MID S TRIED TO SIGN +ANYE 7EST TO THE LABEL BUT THE COMPANY PASSED ON THE OPPORTU

NITY :AAKIR S FAMILY HAVE ALWAYS BEEN SYNONYMOUS WITH ART AN ELEMENT OF HIS CHARACTER THAT SHINES THROUGH IN THEIR LIVE SHOWS HIS MOTHER A DANCER AND HIS FATHER A LOCAL $* * S REAL STORY BEGINS IN @ BACK AT THE NOW LEGENDARY 'OOD ,IFE #AFE 4HE BAND REGULARS AT AN OPEN MIC NIGHT PLAYED WITH SEVERAL SIGNIlCANT S HIP HOP SCENESTERS 4HE 0HARCYDE ARE ONE OF THE BANDS THAT STOOD OUT OF THE CROWD hTHERE AIN T NO SECRET TO OUR SUCCESS 3ERIOUSLY IF ) KNEW ) THINK MOST WOULD BE MADE ) MEAN 4HE 0HARCYDE HAD A HIT SINGLE DIDN T THEY ) THINK OUR PERSONALITIES KINDA MESH WELL TOGETHER AS A GROUP GIVING US A DYNAMIC THAT MAYBE OTHERS CAN T SEEM TO lND v )T S OBVIOUS TO MANY THAT * S LON GEVITY COULDN T HAVE BEEN PREDICTED FROM THEIR BEGINNING )F YOU ASKED ANY CRITIC ROUN DABOUT THE RELEASE OF THEIR SELF TITLED DEBUT IN YOU PROBABLY WOULD HAVE BEEN SUBJECTED TO PHRASES LIKE @mASH IN THE PAN THESE GUYS DIDN T SEEM THAT DIFFERENT FROM THE REST )T WAS WHAT THEY PROVED WITH 1UALITY #ONTROL AND THEIR POSSIBLE CA REER HIGHLIGHT 0OWER IN .UMBERS THAT REALLY SET THEM APART !N ELEMENTAL EVOLUTION FROM RECORD TO RECORD HAS

THE EVENT

ALWAYS BEEN APPARENT BUT NO MATTER HOW MUCH THEY TRY TO DIFFERENTIATE THEIR SOUND FROM PAST WORK IT S THAT PURE @UNDERGROUND GRIT THAT KEEPS THE FANS SALIVATING h9OU KNOW IT S KINDA BECAUSE OF THE STUFF WE GREW UP ON ) GUESS ! 4RIBE #ALLED 1UEST 4HE *UNGLE "ROTHERS THESE WERE ALL INSPIRATIONS ON OUR MUSIC v 7E TAKE * FOR GRANTED IN TODAYS MUSICAL LANDSCAPE WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HEARD #HINGY OR 5SHER MENTION ! 4RIBE #ALLED 1UEST * FOR THE MAJORITY OF THEIR FANS ARE FUN DAMENTALLY KEEPING IT REAL AND TAKING HIP HOP BACK TO ITS GRASS ROOTS 7ELL AT LEAST THAT S WHAT WE THOUGHT h+EEPING IT REAL ) DON T THINK YOU CAN REALLY PUT YOUR lNGER ON WHAT S REAL TO PEOPLE )T S HARD TO GRASP SUCH A PERCEPTION ) ONLY THINK WE GO OFF WHAT S REAL TO US MAN 7E STAND FOR GOOD MUSIC AND ) THINK THAT S WHAT WE TRY TO EVOKE IN OUR RECORDS v -UCH LIKE THE BEST PART OF !MERICAN BANDS mEEING OVERSEAS AT THE MOMENT * S STAGE PRESENCE OF LATE HAS BEEN PUNCTUATED BY POLITICAL CALAMITIES IN THE 5NITED 3TATES THEIR -ONDAY NIGHT GIG IN PARTS WAS EXPRES SIVELY ANTI "USH h9OU KNOW IT S NOT LIKE WE RE HERE TO TELL PEOPLE TO DO

THIS AND THAT VOTE DEMOCRAT SO ON AND SO FORTH ) THINK WHAT WE STAND FOR IS OPPRESSION AMONGST A NUMBER OF ISSUES THAT HAVE AFFECTED US IN THE PAST )N THAT WAY YOU FEEL ON A LEVEL WITH THE AUDIENCE v 4HAT LEVEL REACHED FOR NEW HEIGHTS OF ,#2 DELIRIUM ON -ONDAY NIGHT AS THE FEEDBACK FROM THE GIG PROVED HOW IMPORTANT A LIVE BAND *URASSIC RE ALLY ARE hWE ALWAYS GO FOR THE CROWD INTERACTION AT GIGS IT JUST MAKES THE WHOLE EVENING A LOT MORE ENJOYABLE )F WE CAN GET THAT THROUGH TO THE PEO PLE THEN THEY LL SOON BE COMING BACK FOR MORE v &INALLY WE REACH THE SUBJECT OF THEIR NEW ALBUM &EEDBACK 4HEIR THIRD MAJOR LABEL RELEASE IT MARKS NO REAL CHANGE IN DIRECTION FOR THE BAND ESSENTIALLY IT S FAMILIAR STOMPING GROUND &OR SOME THIS IS OLD HAT AND PREDICTABLE STUFF WHILE FOR OTHERS THIS IS JUST * DOING WHAT THEY DO BEST WITH THE HELP OF A FEW FRIENDS h7ORK ING WITH $AVE -ATTHEWS WAS GREAT IT WAS A FANTASTIC EXPERIENCE 7E VE ALWAYS TRIED TO GET TOGETHER WITH ARTISTS WHO WE THINK WILL ADD A NEW DYNAMIC TO THE BAND .ELLY &URTADO WAS ANOTHER THAT SEEMED TO JUST CLICK FROM THE MINUTE WE GOT TOGETHER SHE

h7E STAND FOR GOOD MUSIC AND ) THINK THAT S WHAT WE TRY TO EVOKE IN OUR RECORDSv

DElNITELY ADDED ANOTHER DIMENSION TO THAT SONG 4HIN ,INE v 3O WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD FOR THE * )F THE PAST IS ANYTHING TO GO BY SURELY THERE WILL BE MANY MORE COLLABORATIONS ON THE HORIZONx h9EAH DElNITELY THERE S LOADS OF ARTISTS WE D LIKE TO WORK WITH BUT YOU CAN T JUST PICK OUT ANY OLD AVER AGE *OE 0ERRY &ARRELL WOULD BE AN INTERESTING ONE ALTHOUGH ) M NOT PICKING OUT *ANE S !DDICTION v )NTERESTING TO SAY THE LEAST WE THINK * AND *ANE S !DDICTION WOULD LEAVE MOST PEOPLE STUMPED 3TICK TO YOUR ROOTS * THAT S WHERE THE SEEDS TO YOUR SUCCESS LIE &OR MOST IT S EASY TO PLACE A lNGER ON WHERE * SIT IN THE ST CENTURY MUSIC SCENE THE HIP HOP NOSTALGIA TRIP THAT NEEDS CONTAINING THE ALTERNATIVE FRESH AND LYRI CALLY ADDICTIVE lX THAT MOST OF US NEED AMONGST OUR !RCTIC -ONKEYS #OLDPLAYS AND +AISER #HIEFS 3OUP HOWEVER CAN T REALLY PUT A lNGER ON HIS BANDx h%RR ) DON T KNOW MAN LETS SEEx/H ) GOT IT )N THREE WORDS &!" 5 ,/53 v )T S HARD NOT TO AGREE

THE EVENT

-USIC

!LBUM 2EVIEWS ,ARRIKIN ,OVE 4HE &REEDOM 3PARK -USICAL POETS APPEAR TO BE IN DEMISE )T S A LONG TIME SINCE THE DAYS OF !LBION THE TABLOIDS HAVE EMBRACED $OHERTY WITH OPEN ARMS AND "ARAT IS RIDING HIGH WITH HIS POST ,IBS PUNK QUARTET -IKE 3KINNER HAS ARGUABLY BEEN STImED SINCE THE RELEASE OF ! 'RAND $ON T #OME &OR &REE AND THE LATEST CROP OF YOUNG INDIE BANDS WOULD RATHER SEE YOU DANCE THAN LISTEN %NTER ,ARRIKIN ,OVE A WIDE EYED FOUR PIECE WITH A MORE THAN NOTICEABLE POLITICAL TINGE INmUENCED BY 7ILDE AND 2IMBAUD AND SPORTING WHAT CAN ONLY BE DE SCRIBED AS A RAGGLE TAGGLE FARMYARD LOOK SERIOUSLY IT LL CATCH ON 4HEY VE ARRIVED WITH THEIR FULL BLOODED DE BUT THE &REEDOM 3PARK A ROLLER COASTER RIDE THROUGH ALL THINGS %NGLISH 4HESE GUYS APPEAR TO HAVE lNALLY MET THEIR PROMISE JUST DON T MENTION THE ,IBERTINES WE RE NOT SURE THEY D LIKE THAT ,ARRIKIN ,OVE HAVE BEEN SIZZLING ON THE SHORES OF HAZY "RITISH ROCK FOR SOME TIME NOW EDGING CLOSER AND CLOSER TO THE MEGA INDIE EPICENTRE OF ALL THINGS lNE AND DANDY 4HEIR DEBUT WITH HELP FROM THE DEVIL MAY CARE DANCE mOOR BELTER (APPY !S !NNIE HAS DONE EXACTLY WHAT IT SAYS ON THE TIN THE &REEDOM 3PARK LOOKS SET TO PROPEL THEM TO THE BIG TIME /NCE PIGEON HOLED AS A BUNCH OF MERE ,IBS TRANSCRIBERS THEY NOW PROUDLY HOLD THEIR OWN AMONG THE -YSTERY *ETS AND *AMIE 4 PIONEERS OF THE NEW @4HAMESBEAT SCENE 4HE &REEDOM 3PARK ENCAPSULATES THEIR DARK POETIC AND ENLIGHTENING NATURE IN WHAT SEEMS A BRISK MINUTES )N FACT THE PACE IS SO FAST AND THE TUNES ARE SO CONSISTENT THAT IT S HARD TO FAULT THESE RUGGED %NGLISH TROUBADOURS 3TRAIGHT FROM THE OPENER IT S OBVIOUS THAT hTHE SYM

PHONY IN MY HEART v REFERENCED BY LEAD SINGER -ICHAEL ,ARRIKIN IS GOING TO PUNCTUATE EVERY SINGLE TUNE ON THIS ECLECTIC ALBUM 5NDERNEATH THE SURFACE THERE LIES A LYRI CAL QUALITY THAT SHINES LIKE THE SUN NEXT TO THE MAJORITY OF THEIR CURRENT RIVALS ,INES LIKE h) WILL PLAY WITH KNIVES AND GUNS TO MAKE SURE MY HEART IS INCORRECTv WORK ON LEVELS UNKNOWN TO THE +OOKS FOR EXAMPLE 4HE QUALITY THAT REALLY SEPARATES ,ARRIKIN FROM OTHERS IS THEIR ABIL ITY TO DETACH THEMSELVES FROM THE URBAN HELLHOLE THAT SO MANY OF THEIR CONTEMPORARIES WON T STOP SHOUTING

ABOUT h3END MY LOVE TO THE CITY FOR ) WILL BE HAVING AN AFFAIR THIS SUMMERv FEELS LIKE A GENUINE CHANGE IN LAND SCAPE AND PROVES TO MANY OF THEIR CRITICS WHERE THEIR ROMANTIC PAST REALLY LIES &ROM THE SPARKY JUMP AROUND FABLE %DWOULD TO THE NONCHALANT $OWNING 3T +INDLING ,ARRIKIN HAVE MET ALL EXPECTATIONS ON THEIR DEBUT 4HE GOOD SHIP !LBION HAS SAILED PAST KINGS HAVE FALLEN LONG LIVE THE NEW ARISTOC RACY ,ARRIKIN ,OVE ARE HERE TO STAY

&OUR 4ET

4HE 6EILS

,IAM &ROST

2EMIXES

.UX 6OMICA

3HOW -E (OW 4HE 3PECTRES $ANCE

7E ALL KNOW WHAT TO EX PECT WITH A REMIX ALBUM A B SIDES COLLECTION OR A MIXTAPE PACKED WITH SONGS THAT DON T QUITE lT TOGETHER AND ARE MISSING SOMETHING ESSENTIAL %VEN THOUGH +IERAN (EBDEN S COLLECTION CONTAINS SUCH DISPARATE ARTISTS AS -ADVILLAIN AND "ETH /RTON THERE IS A GEL BETWEEN ALL THE SONGS THAT MESHES THEM TOGETHER SOMETHING THAT RAISES THIS GROUP OF REWORKINGS FROM A BUNCH OF SINGLE SONGS TO A COLLECTIVE VISION &OUR 4ET MANAGES TO STRIP SOMETHING INDElNABLE AWAY FROM EACH SONG AND REBUILD IT WITH THE SAME UNIQUE SKILL OF COMPOSITION WE ENJOYED FROM ALBUMS LIKE 0AUSE AND 2OUNDS (EBDEN IS AT HIS BEST WHEN HE CUTS UP VOCALS AS IN 2ADIOHEAD S 3CATTERBRAIN RENAMED @3KTTRBRAIN WHERE 4HOM 9ORKE S VOCALS BECOME MORE FRAGILE AND ETHEREAL PLUCKED FROM FAMILIAR SURROUNDINGS AND CHOPPED INTO A STUTTERING NERVOUS SQUALL 4HE VOCALS HE DOESN T CHOOSE TO TAMPER WITH MAKE FOR INTERESTING LISTENING YOU WONDER WHY HE LEFT THESE MELODIES INTACT INSTEAD CHOOSING TO WORK ON THE BACK BEAT AS WITH -ADVILLAIN OR A CAREFUL ADDITION OF NOTES AS IN 3IA S "REATHE -E 4HE COLLECTION IS BY NO MEANS PERFECT PERHAPS NOT ESSENTIAL BUT A REWARDING SURPRISE -IKE 3AUNDERS

7ITH THIS THEIR SECOND ALBUM &INN !NDREW S THE 6EILS HAVE PUT BEHIND THEM THE DISAPPOINTMENT AND LEGAL ISSUES SURROUNDING THEIR lRST EFFORT 'EOFF 4RAVIS LOYALTY IN SIGNING THEM TO HIS RENOWNED 2OUGH 4RADE LABEL HAS SURELY NOW BEEN PAID OFF IN THIS BEAUTIFUL MELANCHOLIC AND ROUSING WORK "EGINNING WITH THE PECULIAR .OT 9ET IS A BRAVE CHOICE THAT WORKS PERFECTLY SETTING UP AN ALBUM THAT MOVES BETWEEN 4OM 7AITS AT HIS SNARLING BEST AND PERFECT EMOTIVE POP THAT LEAVES YOU WONDERING WHY +EANE EVER GOT SO BIG !NDREW S DELIVERY MATCHES THE MUSICAL BOLDNESS AND HELPS TO KEEP THE ALBUM FOCUSED BEING BOTH DELICATE AND TWISTED WITH SHADES OF *EFF "UCKLEY "OWIE AND EVEN A SNARLING *ACK 7HITE ON *ESUS FOR THE *UGULAR 9ET WHATEVER THE COMPARISONS YOU CAN CERTAINLY MAKE ESPECIALLY WITH BANDS SUCH AS THE "IRTHDAY 0ARTY AND THE 3MITHS THE LINE hFROM THE HANDS OF #HRIST TO THE HEADS OF THE $AILY -AILv ON THE TITLE TRACK IS PURE -ORRISEY THIS SUBLIME ALBUM MUST SURELY GO SOME WAY TO RIGHTFULLY REALISING THE 6EILS AS ONE OF THE MOST UNIQUE AND GENUINELY INTERESTING BANDS CURRENTLY AROUND

+EEN TO AVOID BEING TAGGED AS @ANOTHER SINGER SONGWRITER ,IAM &ROST HAS BEEN DUTIFULLY TOURING THE 5+ FOR THE LAST YEAR INCLUDING SUPPORT SLOTS FOR FELLOW -ANCUNIANS %LBOW AND 3TEPHEN &RETWELL 3EEN BY MANY AS "RITAIN S ANSWER TO "RIGHT %YES &ROST HAS ACQUIRED A GROWING REPUTATION LARGELY THANKS TO THE THREE CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED SINGLES ALREADY RELEASED FROM 3HOW -E (OW 4HE 3PECTRES $ANCE AND THE STRENGTH OF HIS LIVE PERFORMANCES 4HANKFULLY &ROST S DEBUT ALBUM DOESN T DISAPPOINT )N THE TRADITION OF SUCH TRAGIC STARS AS .ICK $RAKE AND %LLIOT 3MITH &ROST BARES HIS SOUL OVER LYRICS AWASH WITH PICKED ACOUSTIC MELODIES 9ET THE ALBUM ALSO SHOWS WIDER INmUENCES WITH A KNOWING NOD TO "LUES IN 4HE -OURNERS /F 3T 0AUL S ) SEE TREES OF GREEN RED ROSES TOO AND TO #OUNTRY IN 3HALL 7E $ANCE WHICH INVOKES MEMORIES OF (EARTBREAKER ERA 2YAN !DAMS WITH ITS HARMONICA SOLOS 4HIS IS AN ALBUM FULL OF GEMS BY ONE OF "RITAIN S LEADING NEW ARTISTS "UY IT TAKE THE SONGS HOME AND CHERISH EACH OF THEM 9OU WON T HEAR A MORE REWARDING ALBUM THIS YEAR ,EWIS -ORTON

THE EVENT

.ICK "ROOKES

-USIC

'OLDEN 3OUNDS

'ET #APE 7EAR #APE &LY

+ATE "USH (OUNDS OF ,OVE

+ATE "USH ! NAME SEEMINGLY UNBEKNOWNST TO THOSE ) MENTION IT TO 9ET AS SOON AS THE RECENT HIT BY THE &UTUREHEADS (OUNDS OF ,OVE BANGS OUT IN YOUR LOCAL INDIE JOINT PEOPLE HAPPILY DANCE AWAY ALL THE WHILE TOTALLY IGNORANT OF THE SONG S lRST INCARNATION 4HAT INCARNATION AS YOU HAVE PROBABLY GUESSED BY NOW WAS INDEED lRST RELEASED BY +ATE "USH ON WHAT IS CRITICALLY ACCLAIMED TO BE HER MASTERPIECE (OUNDS OF ,OVE 7HILE THE ORIGINAL HAS FAR LESS¬OOMPH AND LACKS THE UPBEAT TWANG THE CHORDS AND THE SPEED THAT GUITARS BRING TO ITS MODERN DAY COUNTERPART IT IS A FAR MORE RELAXING AND DREAMY EXPERIENCE )T REQUIRES ONE TO TAKE A STEP BACK TO ACTUALLY LISTEN AND TO ENJOY "USH S IDIOSYNCRATIC LYRICS (OWEVER TO SELL THIS ALBUM BASED ON ONE SONG ALONE WOULD BE TOTALLY MISCONCEIVED %QUALLY DREAM LIKE TRACKS TO¬(OUNDS OF ,OVE LITTER THE ALBUM NOTABLY ¬4HE "IG 3KY THE MAGICALLY PRETTY¬#LOUDBURSTING¬ AND THE EVER BEAUTIFUL¬2UNNING 5P 4HAT (ILL 2 E LEASED IN THIS AMAZINGLY HAUNTING ALBUM IS RELATIVELY UNUSUAL FROM A PRODUC TION PER S P E C T I VE +ATE "USH S

THIRD ALBUM 4HE $REAMING COST SO MUCH TO PRODUCE THAT SHE BUILT HER OWN STUDIO SPECIlCALLY TO RECORD (OUNDS OF ,OVE ¬ WHICH SHE CONSEQUENTLY PRO DUCED HERSELF !LSO UNIQUE IS THE WAY THAT THE ALBUM IS SPLIT INTO TWO PARTS 4HE lRST HALF ENCOMPASSES THE SONGS MENTIONED PREVIOUSLY WHICH STAND ALONE AS CONVENTIONAL SINGLES WHEREAS THE SECOND HALF IS A CONTINUATION OF OR SONGS WHICH lT TOGETHER SEAM LESSLY WITH NO CLEAR BEGINNING OR END 4HE CLOSEST COMPARISON THIS REVIEWER COULD MAKE TO ANY OTHER ALBUM WITH SUCH AN APPARENT BLEND OF SONGS WOULD BE THE MORE CONSPICUOUS 0INK &LOYD S¬3HINE /N 9OU #RAZY $IAMOND ON THE¬7ISH 9OU 7ERE (ERE ALBUM 4HE MOST INTERESTING FEATURE OF THE BLENDED SEC TION ON (OUNDS OF ,OVE IS THAT IT TELLS THE STORY OF A WOMAN LOST AT SEA PORTRAYING BOTH BEAUTIFUL AND VIO LENT IMAGERY )T S UNCLEAR AS TO WHETHER THIS IS "USH S OWN DREAM WORLD 4HE ALBUM WOULD EVENTUALLY TOP THE 5+ CHARTS AND KNOCK -ADONNA S ,IKE ! 6IRGIN FROM THE NUMBER ONE SPOT 4HE UNIQUE DEMEANOUR OF THE ECLECTIC (OUNDS OF ,OVE WITH ITS LITERARY LYRICS METICULOUS MUSIC AND EVEN SOME MIGHT SAY THE ECCENTRICITY TYPICAL OF +ATE "USH SAW HER PUSH THE BOUNDARIES OF MUSIC IN A WAY FEW HAVE EVER DONE BEFORE HER 7ITH HER INmUENCE SO BLATANTLY OBVIOUS IN MANY ARTISTS TODAY IT S A SHAME THAT SO MANY PEOPLE WHO LOVE SAID ARTISTS APPARENTLY HAVE LITTLE KNOWLEDGE OF OR TIME FOR +ATE "USH

/THER 3INGLES GUITAR THAT BREAKS IN DURING THE CHORUS WHERE -ULROONEY YELPS h) DON T WANNA SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN v 7ITH THIS LATEST OFFERING THE BAND HAS MADE THEIR MOST ACCESSIBLE SONG TO DATE AND SO MIGHT HAVE TO PUT UP WITH A FEW MORE OF OUR MUGS ! SOLID EFFORT IF A GOOD DEAL UNORIGINAL %XPECT BIGGER AND BETTER THINGS TO COME FROM THE $UBLIN FOUR PIECE +IERAN #ORNWELL

(UMANZI /UT ON A 7IRE (UMANZI DESCRIBE THEMSELVES AS h ST CENTURY PUNK ROCKERSv AND WHILE THIS MAY BE TRUE FOR THE MAJORITY OF THEIR DEBUT ALBUM @4REMORS IT S FOURTH SINGLE @/UT ON A 7IRE IS MORE A CROSS OF ELECTRONICA AND ROCK 3INGER 3HAUN -ULROONEY SOUNDS LIKE AN ANGRY )AN #URTIS AND THE RAPID PULSING BASS THAT OPENS THE TRACK AND KEEPS IT TOE TAPPING THROUGHOUT DRAWS OBVIOUS SIMLARITIES TO *OY $IVISION (OWEVER WHEREAS #URTIS VOCALS WERE EMPOWERING AND DEFINED -ULROONEY S ARE CONFUSED AND UNCLEAR THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GREATNESS AND THE ORDINARY IS RARELY CLEARER 4HE CREDIBILITY OF THE RECORD IS SAVED BY THE RHYTHMICALLY LIBERATING SHRIEKING

4HE 3LEEPY *ACKSON ) 5NDERSTAND 7HAT 9OU 7ANT "UT ) *UST $ON T !GREE 7ITH HIS LATEST OFFERING ,UKE 3TEELE THE !USTRALIAN WITH A PENCHANT FOR "RIAN 7ILSON ESQUE HARMONIES HAS GONE AGAINST THE CURRENT TREND

!LEC &OLWELL

CHARACTERISED BY *AMES "LUNT AND CO AND HAS INSTEAD OPTED FOR SIMPLE STRIPPED DOWN POP 4HE TRACK IS HIGHLY ORCHESTRATED WITH 3TEELE ALMOST ADOPTING A TERTIARY ROLE (IS BACKING SINGER TAKES ON A LARGE PART OF THE VOCAL WORK WHILE THE SPRIGHTLY SOARING STRINGS DOMINATE THROUGHOUT 4HAT THIS SHOULD BE THE CASE IS PERHAPS SURPRISING WHEN YOU CONSIDER HOW SPEEDILY BAND MEMBERS COME AND GO TEN IN SEVEN YEARS AT THE LAST COUNT .EVERTHELESS IT IS CLEAR THAT 3TEELE IS THE ARCHITECT BEHIND IT $ESPITE ITS APPARENT CHEERINESS LIKE THE 3CISSOR 3ISTERS @) $ON T &EEL ,IKE $ANCIN CLOSE ATTENTION TO THE LYRICS SHOWS IT TO BE A DARKER SONG THAN IT ORIGINALLY APPEARS )T IS THE MOST OVERTLY POP SONG ON THE ALBUM WHICH TAKES THE EQUALLY WORDY TITLE OF @0ERSONALITY n /NE 7AS ! 3PIDER /NE 7AS ! "IRD THIS IS A SUPERB PIECE OF POP THAT DESERVES RECOGNITION ESPECIALLY WHEN THE THROW AWAY NATURE OF THE GENRE IN GENERAL IS CONSIDERED *AMES "ERRILL

#HRONICLES OF A "OHEMIAM 4EEAGER 0ART !S A GENERIC TESTAMENT TO YOUTH ANOTHER LOST ROMANTIC PLAYS US BALLADS OF MELODIC EXACTNESS AND SOCIAL REmECTION )T S VERY EASY TO OVERLOOK THE NEW MONOTONES OF ACOUSTIC CROONERS WHO WETNURSE OUR EMOTIONS INTO RATHER PLASTIC FACADES OF OUR LIVES AS WE WISH THEM TO BE 3TILL IT GETS TO THE POINT WHERE YOU HAVE TO APPRECIATE QUALITY FAR EVOLVED FROM THE PAINFUL SCHOOL OF *AMES "LUNT ESQUE WHININGS 3AM $UCKWORTH PICKS UP PROBABLY FROM WHERE A LATER %D (ARCOURT LEFT OFF 9ES IT S THAT TOUCH OF BLACK THAT GIVES 'ET #APE THE KICK START INTO OUR AFFECTIONS #ARVED INTO A TECHNOLOGICAL BURST OF CREATIVITY THE USE OF COMPUTERISED ACCOMPANIMENT TURNS WHAT WOULD OTHERWISE BE ANOTHER OVER PERSONALISED ODE TO A MUSE INTO A LIGHT HEARTED PUNCH OF RELATABLE NOSTALGIA 7HILE IT MAY BE TRUE THAT THE DEBUTANT S RECEPTION AT THIS YEAR S $OWNLOAD &EST WAS SOMEWHAT AWKWARD THE BIZARRE ENDORSEMENTS FROM BANDS AS RESPECTED AS THE $EFTONES WOULD SUGGEST THAT FOR THE lRST TIME AN OUTSIDER ARTIST MIGHT BE SCHOOLING

DYING NU METAL FRETSTERS IN THE ART OF MELODY NOW THAT WOULD BE SOMETHING !ND OUT OF ALL THOSE DARK IDEAS OF hSOMBRE BOHEME TEENAGERSv AND hSOUNDS OF DISTANT LAUGHTERv COMES SOMETHING RATHER JOYFUL $UCKWORTH CLEARLY DEMONSTARTES THAT MASTERMINDED ROMANTICISM IS BEST LEFT TO THE YOUNG AND IN THIS CASE THEY CAN CARRY OFF WISTFULNESS TOO ,EAVING ONLY AN OVER EMPHASISED ACCENT TO THE MINDS OF CRITICS 'ET #APE TAKES OFF OUT OF THE .-% SPIT BUCKET TO HOPEFULLY CARRY FORWARD THE EMO INDIE mAG DROPPED PREMATURELY BY )DIOT 0ILOT 'ET TRACK PLAY TRACK DANCE $ON 3TYLES

2ADIO 0ACKING 4HINGS 5P /N 4HE 3CENE !LONG WITH CONTEMPORARIES SUCH AS THE 2APTURE THE .EW 9ORK BASED 2ADIO PAVED THE WAY FOR THE EXPLOSION OF DANCEABLE PUNK FUNK THAT MAKES UP MUCH OF THE CURRENT INDIE SCENE (OW EVER WITH SO MANY BANDS NOW PURVEYING THIS MIX OF DUB BASS SCRATCHY GUITARS DRUM AND PIANO LOOPS AND YELPING VOCALS A BAND WOULD NEED TO PRODUCE SOME THING SPECIAL IN ORDER TO STAND OUT FROM THE PACK h0ACKINGxv SADLY IS NOT IT $ESPITE BEING CATCHY UPBEAT AND FUNKY IT DOES NOT LEAVE MUCH OF A LASTING IMPRESSION ONCE THE LAST NOTES HAVE FADED !DMIT TEDLY IT WOULD SOUND AMAZING AT AM IN A GRIMY INDIE CLUB BUT THEN AGAIN SO DO MANY AVERAGE SONGS 4HE CONTENTS OF THE SIN GLE ITSELF ARE PRETTY SPARSE WITH NOT ONE BUT FOUR VERSIONS OF THE SAME TRACK SUGGESTING A LACK OF IDEAS ON THE BAND S PART 4HEY MAY HAVE BEEN ONE OF THE MOST INFLUENTIAL BANDS OF THE LAST FEW YEARS BUT ON THIS EVIDENCE 2ADIO ARE IN DANGER OF BEING LEFT BE HIND BY THE SCENE THEY HELPED TO CREATE 2OBIN 3AMPSON

+EANE .OTHING )N -Y 7AY 3OFT ROCK 4WO WORDS TO SEND SHIV ERS DOWN ANY TRUE ROCKER S SPINE ! TEPID BLEND OF DISPOSABLE LYRICS AND ANNOYINGLY CATCHY CHORUSES WILL HAVE ANY HEAD BANGER REACH ING FOR HIS SKULL SHAPED EARMUFFS IN SECONDS +EANE OFTEN REFERRED TO AS h#OLDPLAY WITHOUT THE GUI TARSv ARE THE EPITOME OF THIS UN INSPIRED GENRE 4HEIR LATEST OFFER ING SEES A LACK OF CREATIVITY TAKEN TO NEW HEIGHTS &ROM START TO lN ISH THE SONG FAILS TO STIR ANY REAL FEELINGS BUT MERELY MEANDERS ITS WAY THROUGH FOUR MINUTES OF EMO TIONAL APATHY )T GOES NOWHERE -USICALLY IT IS LIFELESS )F YOU ARE GOING TO USE A PIANO AS YOUR MUSI CAL WEAPON OF CHOICE AT LEAST BE SURE TO LOAD IT WITH SOME PUNCHY RIFFS OR CATCHY MELODIES 4HERE RE ALLY ISN T MUCH LEFT TO SAY *UST GO AWAY PLEASE +EANE 0HIL (OWES

THE EVENT

-USIC

(EY (EY 3CENESTERS 4HE CURRENT MUSICAL LANDSCAPE IS mOODED WITH SCENES FROM @.EW 2AVE TO @4HAMES BEAT FROM @.EW 9ORKSHIRE TO @'RINDIE THEY RE BECOMING HARDER TO ESCAPE FROM "ARNABY 4IDMAN LOOKS AT THE REASONS BEHIND THE NEW CROP OF SCENESTERS

!

RE SCENES ELECTRIC !RE THE GANGS YOU IMAGINE ACTUALLY HID ING OUT IN GARAGES AND TREE HOUSES LOST BOYS SPINNING LONELY MUSIC BURNING UP ON A BLOOD PACT 3CENES ARE EASY TO LOVE 4HE WAY THEY CHANGE ADAPT AT A MOMENT S NOTICE AND CLOSE UP LIKE A SEA CREATURE UPON SENSING DANGER 4HEIR UTOPIAN STRUCTURE 4HE WAY THEY ROT DISINTEGRATE DISPERSE INTO MOLECULES OF PEOPLE BACK WHERE THEY STARTED LOST IN A SEA OF SHIFTING STRANGERS AGAIN THE REAL WORLD LIKE COMING HOME FROM HOLIDAY TO AN EMPTY HOUSE YOUR IN JOKES AND SECRET LANGUAGE SUDDENLY MEANINGLESS AND REVERBERATING BACK AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR ,OST LIKE GOLD DUST IN THE WIND 4HE WAY SCENES LIKE lLMS SOMEHOW DISTIL LIFE INTO A PURE NARRATIVE MAKES SENSE #UT OUT AND PASTE YOUR FAVOURITE DREAMS AND TRUTHS INTO ONE TIDY FANZINE -AKE 9/52 LIFE YOUR /7. 3CENES ARE LIKE NEVER COMING HOME FROM A FESTIVAL 3CENES SPRING UP LIKE CAR ACCIDENTS DECIDING WITH YOUR WORKMATES TO GET THE COACH TO "IRMINGHAM FOR THE DAY PHONING ROUND ,ONDON FOR SOMEONE TO COVER YOUR SHIFTS 7HEN YOU RE HANGING OUT IN A GANG OF THREE AND THE MOOD IS SO PERFECT AND SYNCHRONISED UNTIL SOMEONE ELSE STROLLS INTO THE ROOM AND BREAKS THE ATMOSPHERE LIKE AN ADULT lNDING CHILDREN PLAYING AN IMAGINARY GAME /UT IN THE SATELLITE TOWNS WHERE YOU CAN T CROSS THE ROADS BECAUSE THEY RE ALL MOTORWAYS WHERE THE BUS TO SEE YOUR FRIENDS IS A LONG HAUL RIDE A LIGHTSPEED SPACE JUMP THE IDEA OF A SCENE SEEMS AMAZING MUSICIANS WHO LIVE DOWN THE STREET JAMMING IN CAFES GIRLS THAT CALL YOUR NAME OUT OF OPEN WINDOWS 7HO WOULDN T LOVE SUCH A THING A REAL LIFE INTERNET 4HE IDEA IS LIKE A SCHOOL BUT WITHOUT LESSONS 5NIVERSITY BUT AT YOUR OWN PACE 9OU LEAVE HOME AND LIVE WITH FRIENDS REALISE YOUR YOUTH AND LEARN 4HE WAY THINGS WOULD BE IF CHILDREN WEREN T DRAGGED ALONG TO THE SUBURBS BUT LEFT ALL TOGETHER TO LIVE IN THE CITY 4HE DAYS WOULD

NEVER END "UT THERE IS NO MUSICAL METROPOLIS ONLY A SMALL SET OF CLOSELY CONNECTED CLIQUES "ANDS OVERLAP LIKE CIRCLES @&IND SOMETHING THAT S MISSING IN YOUR LIFE AND INVENT IT 3CENES ARE THE RESULT OF LIKE MINDED PEOPLE "UT FREE RIDERS GROUPIES IT GIRLS OUT FOR A GOOD TIME WILL BARGE IN 0EOPLE WILL INVITE FRIENDS ALONG FROM OUTSIDE THE GROUP /UTSIDERS WILL TAKE OVER THE THRUST OF THE SCENE AND TAKE IT IN A DIFFERENT DIRECTION 3OME HARD CORE MEMBERS WILL WELCOME THIS AS THEY WERE BORED WITH THE SAME OLD GROUP OF PEOPLE AND OR BECAUSE THEY HAVE NEW INTERESTS NO LONGER LIKE THE IDEAS THAT MADE THE GROUP "ECAUSE THEY WANT TO REMEMBER THE SCENE AS IT USED TO BE BECAUSE MEMORIES ARE SAFER "ECAUSE THEY KNOW IT IS UNHEALTHY TO HOLD ONTO SOMETHING THAT WENT 4IGHTER SCENES CAN BE RESTRICTIVE STImING 4HEY SHARE AN IDENTITY LIKE A STRAITJACKET ,IBERTINES ERA 7HITECHAPEL SCENE BANDS 4HE 0ADDINGTONS AND $OGS HAD AN UNHEALTHY NOSTALGIA LOOKING BACK TO THE -OD HEYDAY WHEN THE BOYS TALKED lLM ACCENTS IN CAFES WASTING THEIR POCKET MONEY ON UPPERS AND SHARP SHOES "UT RATHER THAN A REAL LIFE DREAM WORLD OF THEIR OWN THEY CREATED AN ASTHMATIC VISION SOMETHING THAT SHOULD BE LET GO OF A FETISH PICKED UP FROM

THE EVENT

AN EX GIRLFRIEND OLD PHOTOS THAT A LITTLE BROTHER HAS FOUND IN HIS OLDER BROTHER S UNIVERSITY mED BEDROOM THINGS THAT REPRESENT A DIFFERENT TIME FULL OF MEMORIES THAT THE lNDER DOES NOT UNDERSTAND ,ARRIKIN ,OVE CAME FROM A SCENE OR MORE ACCURATELY WERE CLASSED WITHIN A SCENE RETROACTIVELY 4HE BAND CAME lRST THEN THE SCENE 4AKE NOTE THAT THE LABEL DEALS ONLY WITH PLACE THE 4HAMES RATHER THAN FEELING A LA PUNK HAPPY HARDCORE ETC !ND AS *AMIE 4 SO ELOQUENTLY PUT IT h) DON T LIVE ANY WHERE NEAR THE 4HAMES MATE v ,ARRIKIN ,OVE S CREATIVITY WINS EVERY GAME OF CHARADES 4HEIR HISTORICAL SENSE BUZZES LIKE THE INFORMATION STORED INSIDE SHELVES OF BOOKS 4HE MUSICAL SKILLS OF THE BAND ARE ELASTIC AND TIGHT -IKO S GUITAR IS CRUNCHY SHORT AND FREE )T S LIKE HEARING A HAIRCUT A QUICK SHORT BACK AND SIDES BRISK TRIM CURVY WAX IN THE FRINGE #OOL PICTURES TO LOOK AT IN THE MIRRORS (APPY GO LUCKY AS YOU WALK OUT OF THE BARBERS LIKE A CHARACTER IN 'RANGE (ILL )N THE MAINSTREAM BANDS CAN BE SET WITHIN A DIE ,OGO ALBUM COVERS ALL SYNCHRONISED IN #OMMUNIST "LOC 4ESCO 6ALUE DESIGNS ,IMITED FOREVER IN YOUR SCENE OR STYLE AND WHEN YOU BREAK OUT OF IT YOU RE SUDDENLY DOING A 2ADIOHEAD YOUR EXPERIMENTAL STAGE ,ARRIKIN ,OVE ARE UNAFRAID TO CHANGE THE

3CENES ARE EASY TO LOVE 4HE WAY THEY CHANGE ADAPT AT A MOMENT S NO TICE AND CLOSE UP LIKE A SEA CREATURE UPON SENSING DANGER

STYLE OF THEIR SONGS AND ARE mUID AND RECEPTIVE TO IDEAS EVOLVING %DWARD HAS SAID HOW HE BELIEVES IN THE CHAIN LIKE NATURE OF MUSICAL GENRES A @"IG -USIC 4HE TECHNIQUE OF PIGEON HOLING A BAND INTO A SCENE LOWERS THE QUALITY OF THE MUSIC PROVIDES BAD ASSOCIATIONS MAKES THE WHOLE THING SEEM BORING TO THE LISTENER WHEN YOU THINK OF A BAND HOW MUNDANE IT WOULD BE TO JUST THINK OF ONE WORD ! WORD THAT SUCKS THE SPARK AND MAGIC OF A BAND AWAY PUMPS IT SOMEWHERE ELSE 3HARES OUT INDIVIDUALITY (OMOGENISES YOUR MUSICAL HEARTBEAT -USICAL LABELS ARE FOR LIBRARIES NOT FOR EVERYDAY CONVERSATION NOT FOR INTERESTING WRITING 0EOPLE OFTEN MENTION @*OURNALISTIC 3HORTHAND WHEN PIGEON HOLING IN MUSIC COMES UP 7HAT ARE THESE PEOPLE WRITING ! SHOPPING LIST 9OU KNOW THE COMMON PRACTICE OF FEIGNING MUSICAL KNOWLEDGE !TTEMPTED COOL BLITZES GUERILLA COOLNESS WOUNDED IN THE WAR COOLNESS 3ENT HOME WITH A SHOT IN THE FOOT COOLNESS 7E RE TALKING ABOUT WHEN A BAND IS BROUGHT UP IN POLITE CONVERSATION AND TO SAVE FACE TO MAKE GROUND TO REINFORCE THE LEGEND OF YOURSELF YOU PRETEND TO KNOW OF THEM BY JUST MENTIONING THE SCENE THEY ARE IN (AVE YOU HEARD OF THE +LAXONS %R YEAH THEY RE .EW 2AVE AREN T THEY 9AH YAH THEY RE .EW 2AVE AREN T THEY #LUNKY PRIDE JUST HOLDS YOU BACK )GNORANCE CAN TRANSFORM LIKE RARE BUTTERmIES 4O LEARN DEAR BOY $OESN T IT FEEL GREAT BOY ,IKE THE WIND )F WORDS CAN ACTUALLY FORM PART OF AND ENRICH THE FABRIC OF THE WORLD AROUND US THEN UNIMAGINATIVE LABELLING MAKES THE WORLD A WORSE PLACE FAR MORE BORING LACKING IN AMBITION AND GOING ROUND IN BLAND CIRCLES ,IKE THE 4OLWORTH ROUNDABOUT 4ALK ABOUT MORE INTERESTING THINGS -AKE UP YOUR OWN WORDS 3CENES ARE HELPFUL TO YOUNG BANDS IN PROVIDING HELP BACKUP AND IDENTITY BUT GANGS CAN T LAST FOREVER 2ELATIONSHIPS ARE BETTER WHEN YOU HAVE SOME SPACE 4HE BEST SCENES ARE THE BANDS THEMSELVES WHAT WE THINK OF AS SCENES ARE ONLY THE SIDE EFFECTS

-USIC

,IVE 4HE ,ONG "LONDES 3UNDAY ST /CTOBER !RTS #ENTRE 4HE ,ONG "LONDES ARE 4HE .EXT "IG 4HING© TO COME OUT OF 3HEFlELD AND FOLLOW IN THE GANGLY FOOTSTEPS OF *ARVIS #OCKER AS THEY LAY CLAIM TO BEING THE NEXT 0ULP 4HE INGREDIENTS ARE ALL HERE THE OCCASIONAL BURST OF SYNTHESIZER SNARLED LYRICS ABOUT WORKING CLASS LIFE TIGHT GUITAR PLAYING FAST AND FURIOUS DRUMMING "UT DO THEY ALL COME TO GETHER TO MAKE MUSIC THAT IS WORTHY OF 0ULP S CROWN "ASED ON THEIR PERFORM ANCE AT OUR HALLOWED !RTS #ENTRE YES !S THE BAND STRIDE ON STAGE AND LEAD SINGER +ATE *ACKSON GLIDES UP TO THE MICROPHONE YOU CAN ALMOST HEAR THE JAWS OF EVERY MAN IN THE ROOM DROP 2ESPLENDENT IN A LOW CUT TOP AND A SKIRT SHORTER THAN 7ARWICK $AVIS SHE LOOKS ABSOLUTELY STUNNING 7HEN THEY LAUNCH INTO @,UST IN THE -OVIES AND SHE BEGINS SHIMMYING AROUND THE STAGE A QUICK GLANCE AROUND THE ROOM CONlRMS THAT EVERY PAIR OF MALE EYEBALLS IS lXED ON HER 4HIS IS NOT TO SAY OF COURSE THAT IT IS MERELY BECAUSE SHE IS QUITE ATTRACTIVE AS THAT WOULD BE INCREDIBLY SHALLOW )T IS HOWEVER BECAUSE HER SHEER STAGE PRESENCE CAPTIVATES THE AUDIENCE FROM HER lRST BREATH AND ENTICES THEM AROUND

HER LITTLE lNGER UP UNTIL THE MOMENT SHE BOUNCES OFF (ER +ATHERINE (EP BURN ESQUE LOOK AND GRASP OF FASHION SEEMS TO HAVE EXTENDED TO THE REST OF THE BAND 3CREECH THE DRUMMER LOOKS ALMOST LIKE HE S STEPPED STRAIGHT OUT OF A DULL OFlCE JOB TO BE HERE DRESSED AS HE IS IN A WHITE SHIRT AND BLACK TROUSERS WHILE GUITARIST %MMA SEEMS TO HAVE COME STRAIGHT FROM HER S THEMED PROM %VEN $ORIAN THE LEAD GUITARIST GETS IN ON THE ACT BY DONNING A NECKER CHIEF 3ORRY -S *ACKSON n MAYBE YOU VE BEEN OUT STYLED BY YOUR OWN BAND 4HEIR REPUTATION AS THE MOST STYL ISH KIDS ON THE BLOCK CONlRMED IT S GOOD FOR THEM THAT THEY HAVE THE SONGS TO MATCH TOO )N THE TRADITION OF 0ULP SONGS ABOUT hKITCHEN SINK DRAMASv MIX WITH THOSE ABOUT hTHE LINGERING MALAISE OF "RITISH 2AILv AND DESPITE *ACKSON S SOMETIMES SQUAWKED SINGING THEY SOUND AMAZING 4HIS IS IN NO SMALL PART DUE TO BY THE BAND S FANTASTIC MU SICIANSHIP AND SOLID LIVE PERFORMANCE $ORIAN S GUITAR PLAYING CONSTANTLY SUR PRISES 3CREECH S DRUMMING IS SO EN ERGETIC THAT HIS KEEPING UP THE PACE IS REMARKABLE IN ITSELF AND BASSIST 2EENIE S

SULTRY LOOKS THAT SHE THROWS THE AUDI ENCE THROUGHOUT MATCH THE LANGUID BASS LINES THAT SHE DISPENSES 4HEY HAVE CONSISTENTLY BEEN GREAT LIVE BUT BASED ON WHAT THEY BLESSED .ORWICH WITH THE ,ONG "LONDES HAVE COMPLETELY OUTDONE THEMSELVES THE LIVE SHOW OF ONLY TWO MONTHS AGO PALING IN COMPARISON !S

THE SET CLOSER @'IDDY 3TRATOSPHERES IS PLAYED IT S CLEAR THAT THEY ARE CLIMB ING TO NEW HEIGHTS WHERE THE BIG TIME BECKONS n AND THERE S NO BAND IN "RIT AIN TODAY THAT DESERVES IT MORE #HRIS (YDE

+LAXONS

"ABYSHAMBLES

7EDNESDAY TH 3EPTEMBER 7ATERFRONT

7EDNESDAY TH /CTOBER 5%!

)F .-% IS TO BE BELIEVED +LAXONS ARE LEAD ING YET ANOTHER ROCK REVOLUTION 4HIS TIME WE CAST OUR MINDS BACK TO THE PILL POPPING AND mASHING LIGHTS OF THE EARLY S 3URE TAKE INTO ACCOUNT THE FACT THAT THE KIDS MAKING UP THE BANDS ON STAGE TONIGHT WERE PROBABLY MORE INTO #ALPOL THAN %CSTASY AT THE TIME BUT THAT DOESN T MEAN THEY DON T KNOW HOW TO ROCK ,IKE EVERY NEW BAND GRACING THE PAGES OF THE .EW -USICAL %XPRESS HYPE IS SOME THING TO WHICH THIS LITTLE TROUPE IS MORE THAN ACCUSTOMED "UT IF EVER A NEW WAVE OF MUSIC DESERVED IT THEN THIS IS IT -AYBE !RCTIC -ONKEYS PIONEERED IT BUT THERE ARE STILL PLENTY OF PEOPLE WHO WILL TELL YOU THAT !LEX 4URNER AND HIS BOYS ARE LITTLE MORE THAN A PUMPED UP NORTHERN ,IBERTINES 4HIS SET OF BANDS HOWEVER MAKE IT QUITE CLEAR THAT THEY HAVE AS MUCH TO DO WITH

@POST ,IBS AS 0ETE $OHERTY HAS TO DO WITH A CRACK PIPE AMNESTY 0OUNDED BY HUGE BASS LINES THE AUDIENCE OF TEENS KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT TO DO WHEN 3HITDISCO START THEIR SET #RAZY DANCING ENSUES AND PERHAPS THE BIGGEST CIRCLE OF MOSHING THE 7ATERFRONT HAS EVER WITNESSED 7ITH DANCING GLOW STICKS WOVEN THROUGH OUTSTRETCHED lNGERS LOFTED ABOVE THE CROWD AND BEAMING mASHING LIGHTS lLLING THE VENUE ONE COULD BE FORGIVEN FOR THINKING WE RE IN A TECHNO CLUB 4HE LULL IN THE NIGHT WAS PERHAPS $ATAROCK 4HEY WERE MORE +ASABIAN THAN ANYONE SHOULD BE AND IT WAS CLEAR WHY 3HITDISCO HAD BEEN NEEDED TO KICK START THE NIGHT DESPITE BEING DOWN AS SECOND ON THE BILL $ATAROCK COULD HOLD THEIR OWN NO DOUBT BUT THERE WAS MORE EMPHASIS ON THEIR RED RETRO HOODIES AND LESS ON DANCE INCITING RHYTHMS +LAXONS THEN POWERED THEIR WAY ONTO THE STAGE AND GLOW STICKS REIGNITED 2UNNING THROUGH THEIR SET OF FAST PACED NO NONSENSE DANCE MUSIC YOU COULD PICK OUT NODS TOWARDS lRST WAVE RAVE AND EVEN A MORSEL OF .EW /RDER 7ATCH OUT FOR +LAXONS THEY RE RAVE ROCK IN A TUBE 4HEY VE BEEN CRACKED NOW LET S HOPE THEY CAN JUST KEEP GLOWING &ANNY ,ONGBOTTOM

!FTER THREE CANCELLED GIGS AND PLENTY OF ANARCHY IN BETWEEN 0ETE $OHERTY lNAL LY RETURNED TO .ORWICH ON 7EDNESDAY NIGHT 3UPPORTED BY 'IL +ICKER AND THE (OLLOWAYS BOTH OF WHOM GAVE STRONG PERFORMANCES IT WAS "ABYSHAMBLES WHO STOLE THE SHOW ! SECURITY NIGHTMARE THEY WERE BOTH BRILLIANT AND SCRAPPY IN EQUAL MEASURES .EW SONGS SUCH AS @"EG 3TEAL /R "OR ROW GOT A POSITIVE REACTION AS "ABY SHAMBLES PERFORMED SOME SONGS THAT ARE MERE SKETCHES AT PRESENT hTHIS IS A BRAND NEW SONG WE HAVEN T EVEN RE HEARSED IT YET v 9ET IT WAS THE TRADITIONAL FAVOURITES THAT SAW THE ,#2 TRANSFORMED TO PEOPLE JUMPING AND SINGING AS ONE @4IME &OR (EROES @&UCK &OREVER AND @4HE ,OYALTY 3ONG CAUSING PARTICU LAR MAYHEM ON THE DANCE mOOR !LTHOUGH CLEARLY INTOXICATED $O HERTY GAVE A SURPRISINGLY COHERENT PER FORMANCE REMINISCENT OF EARLY ,IBER TINES SHOWS 4HE CROWD TREATED HIM LIKE A RETURNING MESSIAH AND HE RESPONDED BY GIVING IT HIS ALL FROM STAGE DIVES AND MICROPHONES TO HIS JEANS 5NUSUALLY FOR A MAJOR CELEBRITY $O HERTY CLEARLY ENJOYS INTERACTING WITH HIS

AUDIENCE AT TIMES THIS COULD HAVE BEEN A GIG AT YOUR LOCAL PUB AS $OHERTY ASKS hANYONE GOT A CIGARETTE v 4HIS FEELING OF THE BAND NOT BEING ELEVATED BEYOND THE REACH OF THEIR FANS IS COMPOUNDED WHEN $OHERTY PLAYS ACOUSTIC VERSIONS OF @7HAT A 7ASTER AND @) 'ET !LONG OUT OF A WINDOW ABOVE THE ,#2 FOR THOSE DEDI CATED FEW HANGING AROUND OUTSIDE FOR A GLIMPSE OF THEIR IDOL $OHERTY lNALLY PROVED HIMSELF TO .ORWICH S FANS AFTER LEAVING THEM HIGH AND DRY BEFORE ,EWIS -ORTON

THE EVENT

&ILM

-AIN &EATURE #HILDREN OF -EN $IR !LFONSO #UARØN "ASED UPON 0 $ *AMES S NOVEL OF THE SAME NAME @#HILDREN OF -EN IS SET IN A WORLD ONE GENERATION AWAY FROM OUR OWN )T IS THE YEAR AND CIVILISATION HAS PLUNDERED INTO A VIOLENT AND ANARCHIC URBAN NIGHTMARE WHERE ACTS OF TERROR HAVE BECOME A PART OF EVERYDAY LIFE 4HE WORLD S VOLATILE AND PARANOID ATMOSPHERE IS HEIGHTENED BY THE SLOW CREEP TOWARDS THE EXTINCTION OF MAN .O CHILD HAS BEEN BORN FOR OVER EIGHTEEN YEARS AND THE HUMAN RACE IS CONSIDERED INFERTILE %MERGING FROM THIS URBAN DECAY IS 4HEO #LIVE /WEN ONCE AN ACTIVIST BUT NOW A DISILLUSIONED BUREAUCRAT 4HEO S WORLD SLIPS FURTHER OUT OF HIS CONTROL WHEN HE IS ABDUCTED BY THE TERRORIST GROUP @4HE &ISHES 4HIS IS ACTUALLY PART OF A HIGHLY ORCHESTRATED PLAN LED BY 4HEO S FORMER LOVER AND LEADER OF @4HE &ISHES *ULIAN *ULIANNE -OORE *ULIAN NEEDS 4HEO TO HELP TRANSPORT ONE OF HER OWN A NAÕVE YOUNG WOMAN +EE #LAIRE (OPE !SHITEY TO THE "RITISH BORDERS 4HE MISSION IS DANGEROUS AND ILLEGAL AND THEREFORE THREATENS THE LITTLE FREEDOM THAT STILL REMAINS IN 4HEO S LIFE "UT AT ITS HEART THIS JOURNEY HOLDS THE KEY TO THE

2ELEASE $ATE

SURVIVAL OF THE HUMAN RACE AS +EE IS PREGNANT (OWEVER BEFORE THEY CAN EMBARK ON THEIR JOURNEY *ULIAN IS BRUTALLY MURDERED 7HEN A NEW LEADER RISES IN @4HE &ISHES IT IS CLEAR THAT THE TERRORISTS PLAN TO USE +EE S BABY TO GAIN POWER FOR THEIR OWN POLITICAL IDEAS 7HAT ENSUES IS A DEADLY GAME OF CAT AND MOUSE BETWEEN @4HE &ISHES AND 4HEO AND +EE WHO DESPERATELY STRUGGLE TO REACH THE SAFETY OF THE BORDER WHERE +EE AND HER BABY WILL BE SAFE INSIDE @4HE (UMAN 0ROJECT A SECRET SANCTUARY WHOSE ONLY DESIGN IS TO SAVE THE HUMAN RACE $ESPITE THE lLM S FAR FETCHED PREMISE IT IS A BELIEVABLE AND GRIPPING ROMP 4HE CRITIC 0ETER "RADSHAW APPLAUDED THE DIRECTOR !LFONSO #UARON AS CREATING THE lRST @THINKING PERSON S ACTION MOVIE 4HE lLM S OBSCURE AND ELECTRIFYING PLOT IS MATCHED BY THE lLM S HIGHLY STYLISTIC CINEMATOGRAPHY WHICH RECREATES ,ONDON INTO A TERRIFYING IMAGE OF THE APOCALYPSE ! NUMBER OF ABSOLUTELY STUNNING CONTINUOUS SHOTS ARE USED FOR SOME OF THE ACTION SET PIECES ADDING BOTH TENSION AND INTIMACY TO THE SITUATION 4HE lCTIONAL IMAGES WHICH DEPICT GRAPHIC SCENES OF WARFARE AND MURDER CONVEY SUCH

#INEFILE

#HILDREN OF -EN CONVICTION AND REALISM THAT THEY DISPLAY HORRIFYING PARALLELS WITH PRESENT DAY NEWS FROM THE -IDDLE %AST $ESPITE THE lLM S OBVIOUS POLITICAL AND SOCIAL COMMENTARY ON TODAY S SOCIETY THERE ARE ALSO MOMENTS OF LIGHT HEARTEDNESS

INJECTED INTO THE PROCEEDINGS BY THE SCENE STEALING -ICHAEL #AINE #AINE PLAYS @*ASPER AN AGEING HIPPY AND FULL TIME 'ANJA DEALER AND OTHER THAN +EE S BABY HE IS THE ONLY SOURCE OF HOPE FOR THE FUTURE IN THIS DARK THRILLER

#LERKS REPAIRING $ANTE S CRUMBLING LOVE LIFE AND PICKING APART POP CULTURE IN A WAY THAT WOULD MAKE EVEN 1UENTIN 4ARANTINO RUN FOR COVER !LONG THE WAY THE DUO lND TIME TO PLAY HOCKEY ON THE ROOF ATTEND A FUNERAL AND HAVE NUMEROUS ALTER CATIONS WITH STONER ICONS *AY AND 3ILENT "OB !LTHOUGH THE BLACK AND WHITE VISUALS OF THE lLM DON T EXHIBIT MUCH mAIR 3MITH S GIFT FOR WITTY FAST PACED DIALOGUE MAKES #LERKS A SIDE SPLITTING LITTLE GEM

#LERKS (ASN T A SEQUEL TO THIS JUST BEEN RELEASED )NDEED IT HAS #LERKS IS THE SEQUEL

TO THE MUCH LOVED #LERKS RELEASED BACK IN BY DEBUTANT DIRECTOR +EVIN 3MITH #LERKS FOLLOWS A DAY IN

THE EVENT

@#HILDREN OF -EN IS BY FAR ONE OF THE MOST EXCITING AND INNOVATIVE lLMS TO COME OUT OF MAINSTREAM CINEMA IN MANY YEARS AND IS WORTH CHECKING OUT WHETHER YOU ARE A lLM SNOB OR A lLM SLOB #HARLOTTE +IMBLEY

THE LIFE OF TWO SLACKER STORE WORKERS $ANTE AND 2ANDAL SPENDING THEIR TIME AT WORK INSULTING CUSTOMERS

)T S IN BLACK AND WHITE $OESN T THAT MEAN IT S SOME STUFFY ART lLM .OT AT ALL (OW MANY @STUFFY lLMS DO YOU KNOW THAT DEAL WITH SCA TOLOGY NECROPHILIA AND GENERAL VULGARITY IN SUCH A WITTY FASHION )F YOU WERE EVER CURIOUS ABOUT THE EFFECTS OF HERMAPHRODITIC PORNOG RAPHY THIS IS THE lLM TO WATCH

)T SOUNDS A BIT BIZARRE 7AS IT POPULAR ON RELEASE )MMENSELY !LTHOUGH ORIGINALLY SCORNED BY THE CENSOR S BOARD IN !MERICA FOR ITS GRAPHIC DIALOGUE THE lLM WAS RELEASED WITHOUT ANY CUTS AND WENT ON TO BE ONE OF THE MOST PROlTABLE lLMS OF TAK ING OVER MILLION ON A BUDGET OF JUST +EVIN 3MITH BECAME A HUGE STAR AND HASN T LOOKED BACK SINCE )T CERTAINLY SEEMS WORTH A LOOK 7HAT ELSE HAS 3MITH DONE 7ELL HE HAS MADE A FURTHER lVE lLMS BASED AROUND THE EXTENDED @UNIVERSE #LERKS IS BASED IN AS WELL AS THE STAND ALONE FEATURE *ERSEY 'IRL #LERKS HUMBLE BEGINNINGS HAVE SPAWNED NUMEROUS COMIC BOOKS TOYS AND EVEN A SPIN OFF CAR TOON SERIES n ALL WELL WORTH SEEKING OUT 4OM 0HILLIPS

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4HE $EVIL 7EARS 0RADA

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4HE $EVIL 7EARS 0RADA FOLLOWS FASHION NAÕVE UNIVERSITY GRADUATE !NDIE 3ACHS !NNE (ATHAWAY INTO HER NEW JOB AS THE ASSISTANT TO THE FEARSOME -IRANDA 0RIESTLY -ERYL 3TREEP EDITOR OF THE FASHION MAGAZINE 2UNWAY -IMICKING THE REPUTATION OF 6OGUE S REAL LIFE EDITOR !NNA 7INTOUR -IRANDA CONSTANTLY ORDERS !NDIE TO PERFORM IMPOSSIBLE TASKS INCLUDING mYING HER OUT OF -IAMI DURING A STORM AND lNDING HER TWIN DAUGHTERS A COPY OF THE SEVENTH (ARRY 0OTTER NOVEL /N TOP OF THIS !NDIE IS ALSO MOCKED BY HER COLLEAGUES FOR HER LACK OF STYLE GLAMOUR AND FOR HER WAIST -IRANDA AT ONE POINT REFERS TO HER AS hTHE SMART FAT GIRLv THIS IS THE UNBELIEVABLY SKINNY !NNE (ATHAWAY SHE S TALKING ABOUT REMEMBER (OWEVER DESPITE PRESSURE THAT WOULD MAKE MOST PEOPLE HAVE A HEART ATTACK !NDIE GAINS STRENGTH AND DETERMINATION AND AFTER HER AMAZING MAKEOVER WHICH IS ON A PAR WITH *ULIA 2OBERTS IN 0RETTY 7OMAN SHE BECOMES ACCEPTED INTO -IRANDA S WORLD OF FREE -ARC *ACOBS HANDBAGS AND FASHION SHOWS IN 0ARIS 3IMILARLY TO S -EAN 'IRLS THIS lLM QUESTIONS THE POINT OF CHANGING ONESELF TO lT IN "UT IT S ALSO AN OPPORTUNITY TO SEE SOME GORGEOUSLY PUT TOGETHER OUTlTS A BRILLIANTLY UNDERSTATED PERFORMANCE FROM THE INCOMPARABLE -ERYL 3TREEP AND ENJOY A WICKEDLY FUNNY SATIRE OF THE FASHION INDUSTRY +IERA / "RIEN

)F YOU DISLIKED #LERKS YOU ARE GOING TO LOATHE #LERKS )) WITH A lERY PASSION BORDERING ON PYROMANICAL IF YOU LOVED IT YOU ARE GOING TO WANT TO MARRY THE VERY NEGATIVES THAT MAKE THIS lLM UP &RET NOT IF YOU VE NOT SEEN THE lRST lLM THOUGH AS¬ EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW IS HERE SO YOU SHAN T FEEL LOST #LERKS )) IS A lLM THAT DEALS WITH THE RELUCTANCE TO MOVE ON AND ITS CONSEQUENCES BUT NEVER IN A PREACHY OR OVER THE TOP WAY 7RITER DIRECTOR ACTOR +EVIN 3MITH GIVES US LAUGH OUT LOUD HUMOUR GENUINELY MOVING SCENES AND MANAGES TO CRAFT A NATURAL PROGRESSION FOR THE MAIN CHARACTERS 2ANDALL AND $ANTE YOU MAY NOT WANT TO END UP WHERE THEY ARE AT THE lLM S CONCLUSION BUT YOU RE DAMN SURE IT S WHERE THEY SHOULD BE ! LOT OF TIME IS INVESTED IN THE CHARACTERS SO YOU ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT THEM AS HE DOES WITH THE lLM OVERALL SO THAT RATHER THAN BE SIMPLY AN EXCUSE TO MAKE A SEQUEL TO WHAT IS STILL SEEN TO BE HIS BEST lLM BY MANY #LERKS )) MANAGES TO ACTUALLY FEEL LIKE IT S A NECESSARY SEQUEL &UN FUNNY OUTRAGEOUS RUDE DISTURBING THINK DONKEY THINK EROTIC THINK @HAS SCARRED THIS REVIEWER FOR LIFE AND PLEASANTLY POIGNANT TOO #LERKS )) MAY NOT BE THE BEST lLM +EVIN 3MITH HAS EVER DONE BUT IT IS THE PERFECT SEQUEL TO #LERKS AND THAT IS HIGH PRAISE INDEED .ICK -ELLISH

-ICHAEL .EWMAN !DAM 3ANDLER IS AT HEART A LOVING FAMILY MAN WHO S UNFORTUNATELY STUNTED BY AN UNSHAKEABLE DEVOTION TO HIS JOB 7ORKING OVERTIME IS DESTROYING THE RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS WIFE .OT LONG INTO THE lLM -ICHAEL lNDS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT THAT HIS REMOTE CONTROL IS BROKEN )NSTEAD OF WAITING UNTIL MORNING HE DRIVES TO A NEARBY STORE IN ORDER TO GET HIS HANDS ON A REPLACEMENT (E MEETS A STRAW HAIRED DODGY LOOKING #HRISTOPHER 7ALKEN WHO TAKES HIM TO A POKY STOREROOM AND SELLS HIM A MAGICAL @UNIVERSAL REMOTE THAT CAN QUITE LITERALLY CONTROL BY PAUSING OR FAST FORWARDING THE EVENTS OF HIS LIFE "EFORE LONG THE lLM CAN T RESIST THE TEMPTATION TO DESCEND INTO A RATHER INSIPID PIECE OF MORALISTIC LECTURING !FTER A SECTION WHERE THE CONTROL S WACKY POWERS ARE USED FOR COMIC RELIEF THE REMOTE CONTROL STARTS TO TAKE OVER -ICHAEL S LIFE BY PICKING AND CHOOSING THE EVENTS THAT HE EXPERIENCES AND LEAVING -ICHAEL POWERLESS AS HIS LIFE RAPIDLY FALLS TO PIECES AROUND HIM !S HE CONTEMPLATES THE SIGNIlCANCE OF HIS OWN CHOICES IN LIFE THE COMEDIC NATURE OF THE lLM IS EFFECTIVELY PUSHED ASIDE IN A BID TO SECURE A SCHMALTZY ENDING #LICK DOES HAS A FEW HUMOROUS MOMENTS BUT ITS APPEAL IS LIMITED AS IT SUFFERS TREMENDOUSLY FROM ODD PACING AND POOR DIRECTION -ARTIN 'ASTON

4HE "LACK $AHLIA A "RIAN $E 0ALMA lLM ADAPTATION OF *AMES %LLROY S BESTSELLING NOVEL UNFORTUNATELY FAILS TO LIVE UP TO THE RAISED EXPECTATIONS OF MANY A FAN OF %LLROY S WORK 4HE TITLE OF THE lLM REFERS TO THE CENTRAL PLOT THE HUNT FOR THE KILLER OF STARLET %LIZABETH 3HORT A K A @THE "LACK $AHLIA (OWEVER ITS BIGGEST mAW IS IT S STRONG FOCUS ON THE FAR LESS INTERESTING SUBPLOT CONCERNING AN IMPLIED MÏNAGE Ì TROIS BETWEEN STARS (ARTNETT *OHANSSON AND %CKHART 3ET IN THE S (ARTNETT AND %CKHART PLAY TWO POLICE OFlCERS "LEICHERT AND "LANCHARD ASSIGNED TO SOLVE THE BRUTAL MURDER OF ASPIRING ACTRESS "ETTY 3HORT 4HROUGH THEIR INVESTIGATION INTO HER DEATH THEY UNCOVER HER HORRIlC SECRET LIFE "OTH OFlCERS BECOME OBSESSED WITH "ETTY S LIFE BUT THE REASONS BEHIND THIS OBSESSION ARE NOT REALLY EXPLAINED AND IT THEREFORE SEEMS FORCED -OREOVER BOTH ACTORS FAIL TO CONVINCINGLY CARRY THIS lLM (ARTNETT ESPECIALLY IS TOO YOUNG FOR A ROLE OF THIS SUBSTANCE *OHANSSON IS NOT GIVEN THE CHANCE TO SHOW THE AUDIENCE HER TALENTS AS +AY ,AKE "LANCHARD S @JUST SIT THERE AND LOOK PRETTY WIFE 4HERE ARE STRONG PERFORMANCES BY (ILARY 3WANK AS FEMME FATALE -ADELEINE ,INSCOTT AND SURPRISING NEW COMER -IA +IRSHNER *ENNY IN hTHE , WORDv AS MURDER VICTIM "ETTY 3HORT 4HE lLM WILL KEEP YOU ENTERTAINED FOR

TWO HOURS AND IS VISUALLY ATTRACTIVE BUT HAS MANY SHORTCOMINGS BOTH IN COMPARISON TO THE *AMES %LLROY NOVEL AND THE lLM ADAPTATION OF A DIFFERENT %LLROY NOVEL h, ! #ONlDENTIAL v +ARIN VAN 7ESEP

$IRTY 3ANCHEZ 4HE -OVIE $IR *IM (ICKEY 2ELEASED 4HIS lLM S TITLE ACCURATELY SUMS UP ITS CONTENT 4HEREFORE IF LIKE ME YOU RE A FAN OF THE CULT -46 PROGRAMME @$IRTY 3ANCHEZ THEN YOU WON T BE DISAP POINTED WHEREAS IF YOU RE NOT THEN THE lLM AND ITS FOUR LAD MAG HEROES ARE NOT GOING TO WIN YOU OVER )F YOU RE UNFAMILIAR WITH THE @$IRTY 3ANCHEZ FORMULA IT REVOLVES AROUND FOUR 7ELSH BLOKES PERFORMING STUNTS INCORPORATING BODILY FUNCTIONS AND EX TREMITIES OF PAIN TOLERANCE 4HE STUNTS THE BOYS EMBARK ON ARE BOTH DISTURB ING AND HILARIOUS 4HE MOVIE ITSELF FOL LOWS THE GUYS AS THEY TRAVEL THROUGH EACH OF THE SEVEN CONTINENTS PERFORM ING SPECTACULARLY GROSS AND HILARIOUS ACTS %ACH NEW ANTIC BEING MORE EX TREME THEN THE LAST THIS RANGES FROM PUTTING STAPLES THROUGH THEIR TONGUES TO CUTTING OFF lNGERS 4HE MOVIE S CONTENTS MAKES THE *ACKASS LADS ANTICS LOOK LIKE THEY VE GONE WILD AT A BOY SCOUTS CAMP )T IS ULTIMATELY A lLM TO WATCH WITH A GANG OF MATES BUT BEWARE MAKE SURE YOU CHECK IT OUT BEFORE YOU GET YOUR CUR RY IN BECAUSE YOU MAY lND YOURSELF SPEWING IT BACK UP IN THE MULTIPLEX #HARLOTTE +IMBLEY

THE EVENT

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$IR #HRISTOPHE 'ANS /NCE AGAIN ANOTHER POOR FOOL HAS BRAVED THE CHALLENGE OF CONVERTING A VIDEO GAME TO lLM AND ONCE AGAIN HAS FALLEN TO MANY OF THE SAME PROBLEMS THAT HAVE BEFALLEN THEM 9ET AT THE SAME TIME IT MANAGES TO CREATE MOMENTS OF CINEMA WHICH AT LEAST FOR A SHORT WHILE ARE ACTUALLY OF EXCELLENT QUALITY 2ADHA -ITCHELL STARS AS 2OSE THE ADOPTIVE MOTHER OF A TROUBLED YOUNG GIRL NAMED 3HARON WHO SUFFERS FROM lTS AND KEEPS TALKING ABOUT A PLACE NAMED 3ILENT (ILL $ETERMINED TO HELP HER CHILD 2OSE TAKES HER TO THIS DERELICT TOWN ONLY TO BECOME TRAPPED INSIDE IT WITH COP #YBIL CULTIST VILLAGERS AND SOME VERY FREAKY MONSTERS 3ILENT (ILL MANAGES TO CREATE SOME GENUINELY CREEPY AND TENSE MOMENTS AS THE VERY WELL DESIGNED #') CREATIONS CRAWL AND TEAR AFTER 2OSE 4HE DARK ATMOSPHERE OF THE lLM COUPLED WITH SOME MIND

2ELEASED TH #ENTURY &OX (OME %NTERTAINMENT

BLOWING SOUND EFFECTS HELPS TO CREATE SOME TRULY SCARY MOMENTS (OWEVER THESE PARTS OF THE lLM ARE HORRIBLY FRAGMENTED AS IF SEPARATED INTO @LEVELS )N ADDITION THE STATIC CAMERA REMOVES THE AUDIENCE FROM THE lLM AS IT

ALWAYS SEEMS LIKE YOU RE WATCHING THROUGH A TV SCREEN NEVER THERE WITH THE CHARACTERS )T SEEMS THAT IN ATTEMPTING TO KEEP TO THE GAMES CREEPY FEEL THE DIRECTOR FAILED TO GRASP THE KEY DIFFERENCES IN AN ENTERTAINING GAME AND AN

ENTERTAINING lLM 4HE ACTING IS ADEQUATE ENOUGH THOUGH 3EAN "EAN PLAYING THE FATHER HUNTING FOR 2OSE 3HARON -534 WORK ON HIS !MERICAN ACCENT "UT THE PLOT BECOMES LUDICROUSLY CONVOLUTED AS THE lLM

"RICK GOES ON A MINUTE SEQUENCE THAT IS SUPPOSED TO EXPLAIN EVERYTHING SIMPLY LEAVES YOU STARING BLANKLY AND THINKING h7HAT THE HELL v )T SEEMS THAT THE LONG WAIT FOR A GOOD VIDEO GAME ADAPTATION CONTINUES !NDY *UDSON

$6$ 2ELEASES 4HE &AST AND THE &URIOUS 4OKYO $RIFT $IR *USTIN ,IN 2ELEASED 5NIVERSAL 0ICTURES 6IDEO (ONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY /R SO THE MAKERS OF THE THIRD INSTALMENT OF THIS STREET RACING FRANCHISE WOULD HAVE US BELIEVE 7ITHOUT ANY ORIGINAL CAST MEMBERS AND WITH A PLOT THAT IS ALMOST DELIBERATELY SUPERlCIAL IT SEEMS DOOMED (OWEVER DESPITE ITS FAULTS THE MOVIE ISN T THE BARGAIN BASEMENT DROSS YOU MIGHT EXPECT .O IT WON T DELIVER ANY PROFOUND TRUTHS OR lNE PERFORMANCES BUT THE ACTION ON DISPLAY IS AS COLOURFUL AND DYNAMIC AS THE ACTING IS WOODEN )T MAY BE IMMATURE BUT PARK YOUR BRAIN AT A SAFE DISTANCE AND YOU LL HAVE AN ENJOYABLE RIDE (ONEST 0AUL "OND

4HE /MEN $IR *OHN -OORE 2ELEASED 4HE &AST AND THE &URIOUS 4OKYO $RIFT

THE EVENT

TH #ENTURY &OX (OME

%NTERTAINMENT )T WAS IN CINEMAS ON THE TH OF *UNE AND THE OPPORTUNISTIC GENIUS OF THIS GIMMICK IS WHERE THE KUDOS ENDS FOR THIS REMAKE OF THE CLASSIC 4HE /MEN IS COMPLETELY VOID OF ANY ORIGINALITY RELYING ON THE MOTIFS THAT WE ENJOYED IN THE ORIGINAL BUT MOVING AWAY FROM THE CHARACTER BASED PSYCHOLOGICAL HOR ROR THAT MADE IT GREAT AND BRINGING IT INTO THE ST CENTURY WITH ITS BLA TANT USE OF SHOCK TACTICS #LICHÏD AND OFTEN COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT mASHING IMAGERY SERVES TO SCARE BUT LACKS ANY REAL SUBSTANCE RENDER ING IT UNWATCHABLE FOR EPILEPTICS AS WELL AS THOSE WHO ENJOYED IT THE lRST TIME ROUND 0ANDA 'AVIN

4HE ,AKE (OUSE $IR !LEJANDRO !GRESTI 2ELEASED 7ARNER (OME 6IDEO 4HE ,AKE (OUSE IS A TYPICAL 2O MANCE MADE QUIRKY BY THE INCLU SION OF TIME TRAVEL BUT DESPITE THIS IT S RATHER FAMILIAR )NDEED THE STORY TICKS ALL THE BOXES ¬ TOUCHING MOV ING HEART WARMING #LICHÏD FOR SURE

(OWEVER MANY THINGS MAKE 4HE ,AKE (OUSE WORTH CHECKING OUT +EANU 2EEVES S BEST PERFORM ANCE IN YEARS STUNNING CINEMA TOGRAPHY AND A BEAUTIFULLY GENTLE PACE TO THE EDITING THEY COMBINE TO MAKE A MEMORABLE lLM WHEN IT ARGUABLY DOESN T DESERVE TO BE 0RETTY AND TEAR JERKING 4HE ,AKE (OUSE NEVER DOES ANYTHING GROUND BREAKING BUT IT HAS ENOUGH ELE MENTS TO MAKE IT BETTER THAN OTHER EXAMPLES OF ITS GENRE .ICK -ELLISH

0OSEIDON $IR 7OLFGANG 0ETERSEN 2ELEASED 7ARNER (OME 6IDEO !NOTHER YEAR ANOTHER 7OLFGANG 0ETERSEN EPIC !T LEAST THIS TIME HE ADMITS TO HAVE RUN OUT OF IDEAS AND SIMPLY COPIES THE CLASSIC DISASTER MOVIE AS A GROUP OF UNLUCKY REVEL LERS TRY TO ESCAPE AN UPTURNED AND SINKING CRUISE LINER #UE GRAVITY DE FYING STUNTS SPECTACULAR SET PIECES AND TWO DIMENSIONAL CHARACTERS LEARNING ABOUT TEAMWORK 9AWN !PART FROM THE LITERALLY BREATH TAKING TIDAL WAVE SEQUENCE THERE REALLY IS NOTHING REMOTELY EN TERTAINING OR ORIGINAL !NDY *UDSON

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4HESE DAYS IT SEEMS THAT EVERY DAY WE HEAR ABOUT ANOTHER lLM BEING GIVEN A POOR SEQUEL OR CLASSIC lLMS RECEIVING THE @3PECIAL %DITION TREATMENT .EIL (UITSON INVES

TIGATES THIS TREND IN AN ATTEMPT TO DISCOVER IF IT MIGHT NOT ALWAYS BE A BAD THING

9 2OCKY

OU KNOW THAT VERY PARTICULAR BREED OF WOMAN YOU SEE EVERY 3ATURDAY NIGHT AFTER PUB CLOSING SHRIEKING IN VAIN AT A BOYFRIEND INTENT ON INDULGING IN A SPOT OF GOOD OLD FASHIONED YOB CULTURE WITH SOME BLOKE WHO SPILT HIS PINT OR LOOKED AT HIS OVERHANGING FOREHEAD IN A FUNNY WAY $ON T WORRY IF YOU DON T RECOGNISE THE BREED ) M TALKING ABOUT THEY CAN EASILY BE IDENTIlED BY THEIR CALL h,EAVE IT INSERT NAME HERE HE S NOT WORTH IT v 4HIS COMMAND IS INVARIABLY IGNORED BY THEIR ! % BOUND BOYFRIEND WHICH LEADS ME TO BELIEVE THAT SUCH WOMEN SHOULD PERHAPS SEEK A MORE RECEPTIVE AUDIENCE ON FOREIGN SHORES /NE LOOK AT (OLLYWOOD S SLATE OF UPCOMING lLMS SUGGESTS THAT SHOULD THESE SHRIEKING HARPIES OF THE HIGH STREET BE ADDED TO THE EXTENSIVE RETINUES THAT TRAIL BEHIND 4INSEL 4OWN S GREAT AND GOOD BOTH EMPLOYER AND EMPLOYEE WOULD lND THEMSELVES MUTUALLY REWARDED *UST THINK FOR A BRIEF MOMENT ABOUT THE POTENTIALLY DIREFUL CONSEQUENCES THAT COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED IF AT THE EXACT MOMENT 3YLVESTER 3TALLONE WAS ABOUT TO SIGN ON THE DOTTED LINE TO MAKE 2OCKY 6) A MAKE UP CAKED MAELSTROM OF COSTUME JEWELLERY AND LYCRA CLUBBING CLOTHES HAD

)F RECENT EXAMPLES ARE ANYTHING TO GO BY BELATED SEQUELS CAN ACTUALLY BE A POSITIVE EXPERIENCE

SWEPT INTO THE ROOM SNATCHED THE PEN FROM HIS HAND AND DECLARED h,EAVE IT 3LY IT S NOT WORTH IT v /R HOW ABOUT "RUCE 7ILLIS AND $IE (ARD ,IVE &REE /R $IE (ARD ) KID YOU NOT /R (ARRISON &ORD 3TEVEN 3PIELBERG AND 'EORGE ,UCAS AND THE FOURTH INSTALMENT OF THE )NDIANA *ONES SERIES RUMOURED TO lNALLY BE CLOSE TO PRODUCTION )N FACT ,UCAS SHOULD HAVE AN ENTIRE SQUADRON OF THESE WOMEN READY FOR IMMEDIATE DEPLOYMENT THE NEXT TIME HE DECIDES THAT (AN S HAIR WAS TOO BROWN OR THAT THE %WOKS WERE UNDERUSED AND PUTS OUT YET ANOTHER @DElNITIVE VERSION OF 3TAR 7ARS "UT IS THIS EXODUS OF SUCH AN INTRINSICALLY "RITISH SPECIES REALLY NECESSARY 0ERHAPS THE WEARY GROANS AND ROLLING EYES WITH WHICH WE INVARIABLY MEET THE NEWS OF YET ANOTHER FADED STAR DREDGING UP THEIR FORMER GLORIES IN AN ATTEMPT TO REVIVE A DYING CAREER IS A REACTION BASED LESS UPON ANY TANGIBLE PRECEDENT AND MORE UPON A NATURAL DESIRE TO SEE OUR FAVOURITE lLMS LEFT ALONE )F RECENT EXAMPLES ARE ANYTHING TO GO BY BELATED SEQUELS CAN ACTUALLY BE A POSITIVE EXPERIENCE ALL ROUND #LERKS FOR EXAMPLE DEMONSTRATES THAT SUCH ADDENDUMS TO AN ESTABLISHED UNIVERSE CAN ACTUALLY ENRICH THE ORIGINALS BY USING THEM AS THE GROUNDWORK UPON WHICH A lLM OF ENTIRELY NEW AMBITIONS IS FOUNDED 7HEN +EVIN 3MITH WROTE #LERKS THE STORY OF A TWENTY SOMETHING COLLEGE DROP OUT WORKING AS A

CONVENIENCE STORE CLERK AND FACING A LIFE STUCK BEHIND A COUNTER 3MITH WAS A TWENTY FOUR YEAR OLD lLM SCHOOL DROP OUT WORKING AS A CONVENIENCE STORE CLERK WHO DECIDED TO MAKE SOMETHING OF HIS LIFE AND WRITE HIS OWN lLM (E HAD REACHED A POINT IN HIS LIFE WHERE LIKE HIS lCTIONAL COUNTERPART $ANTE HE KNEW HE HAD TO EITHER TAKE THE LEAP AND ABANDON HIS COSY LITTLE COMFORT ZONE IN PURSUIT OF A MORE MEANINGFUL AND REWARDING LIFE OR RECONCILE HIMSELF TO AN EXISTENCE WITHOUT CHALLENGE OR FULlLMENT AS JUST ANOTHER RANK AND lLE MEMBER OF THE !MERICAN WHITE COLLAR MULTITUDE FOREVER FRUSTRATED BY THE KNOWLEDGE THAT HE LET HIS POTENTIAL ROT AWAY RATHER THAN GETTING OFF HIS BACKSIDE AND PURSUING HIS DREAM "EHIND ALL THE PROFANITY AND ANIMAL EROTICA OF #LERKS )) IS A WRITER AND DIRECTOR WHO PERHAPS DUE TO THE SELF EXAMINATION NECESSARY IN PENNING #LERKS HAS LONG SINCE MADE PEACE WITH THE PITFALLS OF HIS TWENTIES AND IS NOW CONCERNED WITH THE EQUALLY UNIQUE AND PIVOTAL CROSSROADS OUR THIRTIES HAVE TO OFFER )F #LERKS WAS ABOUT AVOIDING INERTIA AND TAKING ADVANTAGE OF THE SMALL WINDOW OF ABSOLUTE FREEDOM AND POSSIBILITY AFFORDED US IN OUR EARLY TWENTIES THEN #LERKS )) IS ABOUT REALISING THAT OUR THIRTIES IS THE PERIOD IN WHICH WE MUST ACCEPT THE RESPONSIBILITIES OF ADULTHOOD RATHER THAN AVOID THEM BECAUSE WE MISTAKENLY CONFUSE THEM WITH THE INERTIA WE HAVE JUST SPENT A DECADE OR MORE DESPERATELY TRYING TO AVOID 3PECIlCALLY THESE RESPONSIBILITIES ARE CENTRED ON THE PROSPECT OF MARRIAGE AND OF PARENTHOOD ALTHOUGH IN A MORE GENERAL SENSE THEY ARE ABOUT REALISING A WHOLE NEW GENERATION HAS TAKEN RESIDENCE AT THAT WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY )N #LERKS )) 3MITH DEPICTS THIS LAST TRUTH WITH A SUBTLETY UNPARALLELED IN HIS PREVIOUS lLMS AS 2ANDALL MERCILESSLY TAUNTS HIS TEENAGE CO WORKER S LOVE OF 4HE ,ORD /F 4HE 2INGS INSISTING 3TAR 7ARS IS THE GREATER TRILOGY 4HIS TENSION IS SYMBOLIC OF 3MITH ACKNOWLEDGING HIS GRADUATION BOTH FROM THE GENERATION THAT SETS THE POP CULTURE AGENDA AND FROM THE PREOCCUPATIONS THAT SHAPED HIS lRST lLM 3TAR 7ARS THE MOST IMPORTANT AND BELOVED POP CULTURE EVENT OF 3MITH S GENERATION HAS BEEN USURPED BY 4HE ,ORD /F 4HE 2INGS

AS THE MOST UBIQUITOUS BELOVED AND RELEVANT POP CULTURE ICON JUST AS TODAY S TWENTY SOMETHINGS HAVE USURPED 3MITH AND HIS GENERATION AS THE ARBITERS OF COOL 3MITH STILL COURTS THE YOUNGER AUDIENCE WITH HIS TRADEMARK SCATOLOGICAL TICS AND PUERILE INDULGENCES BUT #LERKS )) WAS MADE FOR THE NOW THIRTY SOMETHING AUDIENCE THAT FELT SUCH A PERSONAL AFlNITY WITH THE ORIGINAL )N A SENSE 2OSARIO $AWSON S CHARACTER "ECKY REPRESENTS 3MITH AND $ANTE THE AUDIENCE THAT HAS BEEN WITH HIM SINCE #LERKS 4HE FORMER IS ENCOURAGING THE LATTER TO RECOGNISE THAT NEITHER OF THEM ARE IN THEIR TWENTIES ANYMORE AND IT S TIME TO MOVE ON AND EMBRACE THE NEXT STEP IN LIFE #OULD 3YLVESTER 3TALLONE AND "RUCE 7ILLIS CLAIM SIMILAR JUSTIlCATIONS IN EXPLAINING THE MOTIVATION BEHIND THE RESPECTIVE EXHUMATIONS OF THEIR MOST CELEBRATED ROLES ,ET S NOT FORGET THAT THOUGH 3TALLONE MAY HAVE RELUCTANTLY FORFEITED THE DIRECTING REIGNS TO *OHN HE DID WRITE PRODUCE AND TAKE THE STARRING ROLE IN 2OCKY 7HETHER OR NOT THE FOUR INCREASINGLY VAPID AND SELF INDULGENT SEQUELS CHEAPENED THIS AUTEUR APPROACH AND RENDERED THE ORIGINAL LESS A LABOUR OF LOVE AND MORE AN ANTECEDENT TO AVARICE IS ARGUABLE 4HE MOTIVES BEHIND MAKING A SEQUEL ARE LESS IMPORTANT TO CALCULATING ITS WORTH THAN IS THE lNAL PRODUCT ITSELF !LIENS AND 3PEED WERE BOTH BIG BUDGET STUDIO lLMS MADE WITH THE SAME MONETARY MOTIVATIONS BUT ONE OFFERED A LOGICAL AND ATTRACTIVE PROGRESSION AND THE OTHER A LAZY AND CYNICAL RETREAD -AYBE 2OCKY 6) WILL AVOID BEING CONSIGNED TO THIS SECOND CATEGORY AND WILL ACTUALLY GARNER AN AUDIENCE BEYOND THE SAME IRONY ADDICTED CHILDREN OF POSTMODERNISM THAT FETED 3NAKES /N ! 0LANE WITH THE SMUG AND CONDESCENDING NOMENCLATURE OF hSO BAD IT S GOOD v %VEN THOUGH THE lLM WILL UNDOUBTEDLY RECYCLE THE UNDERDOG STORY ARC "ALBOA TRAVAILED IN THE ORIGINAL IT MIGHT HELP THE lLM REACH A GREATER POIGNANCY AS BOTH 3TALLONE AND HIS CHARACTER STRIVE TO REPLICATE THEIR FORMER GLORIES !S FOR THE NEW $IE (ARD ) SUSPECT $IE (ARD WAS THE POINT BEYOND WHICH ANY MORE RACES AGAINST TIME TO FOIL NEFARIOUS TERRORISTS WOULD RENDER "RUCEY AN EMBARRASSING CARICATURE OF HIS FORMER SELF

THE EVENT

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+INGDOM (EARTS 2ELEASED ON 03 7HEN THE ORIGINAL +INGDOM (EARTS CAME OUT FOUR YEARS AGO IT WAS MET WITH A MUTED SHRUG BY THE GAMING WORLD !N 20' THAT COMBINED CHARACTERS AND WORLDS FROM &INAL &ANTASY GAMES AND $ISNEY lLMS SEEMED LIKE A BAD IDEA FROM THE OFF (OWEVER THOSE WHO ACTUALLY PLAYED THE GAME SOON REALISED HOW MUCH FUN IT ACTUALLY WAS AND THAT THE CONCEPT OF FOR EXAMPLE lGHTING &INAL &ANTASY 6)) S 3EPHIROTH IN (ERCULES COLISEUM ALONGSIDE $ONALD $UCK 'OOFY AND 'ENIE WAS GENIUS -UCH LIKE LAST WEEK S ,EGO 3TAR 7ARS AND SANDWICHES lLLED WITH CHICKEN @N BACON IT PROVED THAT MARRYING TWO THINGS WHICH MAY NOT SEEM TO WORK TOGETHER COULD END IN COMPLETE BLISS &OUR YEARS LATER AN %NGLISH VERSION OF THE GAME S SEQUEL lNALLY HITS OUR SHORES IN AN ATTEMPT TO WIN BACK THE ORIGINAL S FANS AND GAIN SOME NEW ONES 4HE GAME S MAIN SELLING POINT IS THE OPPORTUNITY TO TRAVEL TO $ISNEY WORLDS AND PARTICIPATE IN PLOTS FROM THE lLMS /NE MINUTE YOU LL BE BATTLING ALONGSIDE A SCARILY REALISTIC *ACK 3PARROW IN 0ORT 2OYAL THEN YOU LL BE CHATTING TO *ACK 3KELLINGTON IN (ALLOWEEN 4OWN THEN RACING LIGHT CYCLES IN 4RON )T S THIS SHEER VARIATION IN GAMEPLAY THAT MAKES +INGDOM (EARTS SO MUCH FUN TO PLAY THROUGH YOU GENUINELY DON T KNOW WHAT S GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT 4HE STYLE OF EACH lLM IS INCORPORATED INTO ITS WORLD TOO THE 3TEAMBOAT 7ILLIE LEVEL -ICKEY -OUSE S lRST CARTOON FROM IS ENTIRELY IN BLACK AND WHITE WITH YOUR PARTY

RENDERED IN THE STYLE OF THE DAY 7HILE EACH WORLD MAY ONLY LAST A COUPLE OF HOURS AT MOST ALTHOUGH THIS WILL BE LONGER IF YOU INTEND TO UNLOCK ALL THE GAME S SECRETS THEY RE ALL INCREDIBLY FUN TO PLAY THROUGH DUE TO THIS MIXTURE OF DIFFERING ARTISTIC STYLES AND THINGS TO DO !S THE GAME PUTS ITSELF lRMLY INTO 20' TERRI TORY THERE ARE OBVIOUSLY BATTLES TO BE FOUGHT TOO #ONTRARY TO MOST 3QUARE GAMES THESE TAKE PLACE IN REAL TIME RATHER THAN IN TURN BASED SEQUENCES 7ITH $ONALD CASTING MAGIC ON THE PARTY AND 'OOFY USING HIS SHIELD TO PROTECT AGAINST ENEMY ATTACKS HOWEVER THESE lGHTS USUALLY END UP BEING NOTHING MORE THAN SIMPLY MASHING THE 8 BUTTON TO MAKE 3ORA YOUR CHARACTER LASH OUT AT ENEMIES WITH HIS +EYBLADE THE GAME S WEAPON OF CHOICE 2EALISING THAT THIS WAS THE TACTIC WITH WHICH MOST PEOPLE GOT THROUGH ENCOUNTERS IN THE lRST GAME THE DEVELOPERS HAVE ADDED A COUPLE OF NEW THINGS TO MAKE PROCEEDINGS THAT LITTLE BIT MORE EXCITING ,IMIT BREAKS TEAM THE ENTIRE PARTY UP TO UNLEASH A SPECIAL ATTACK AND IT S THE DIFFERENT CHARACTERS THAT YOU RE lGHTING ALONGSIDE THAT MAKE THESE TRULY SPECIAL A LIMIT BREAK USED WHEN YOU RE WITH 3IMBA WILL BE VERY DIFFERENT FROM ONE USED WITH !LADDIN $RIVES ARE THE OTHER NEW FEATURE AND WORK LIKE A &INAL &ANTASY LIMIT BREAK IN THAT THEY RE UNLEASHED ONCE A COUNTER IS lLLED &USING 3ORA WITH ONE OF YOUR

'AMING 'REATS 'AME 3TREETS OF 2AGE #ONSOLE -EGADRIVE 2ELEASED 2ELEASED BY 3EGA ALONGSIDE THE SIMILAR 'OLDEN !XE THIS SIDE SCROLLING BEAT EM UP WAS ONE OF THE lRST GAMES TO CAUSE UPROAR AMONG CON CERNED PARENTS AND RIGHT WINGERS THAT OLD CHESTNUT IN THAT IT WAS BLAMED FOR VIOLENCE AMONG CHILDREN /VER YEARS LATER THE LIKES OF 'RAND 4HEFT !UTO ARE STILL BEING BLAMED FOR THE SAME THING n PROVING THAT SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE 4HE VISUALS ARE mUID AND BOLD AND THE SOUND TRACK IS STILL AWESOME IF S SYNTH

ELECTRO IS WRONG THEN WE DON T WANT TO BE RIGHT -ORE THAN THAT IT DOES WHAT IT SETS OUT TO DO EXTREMELY WELL YOU GET OUT THERE ON THE STREETS AND KICK SOME ASS WITHOUT HAVING TO WORRY ABOUT POORLY PUT TOGETHER STEALTH SECTIONS RUBBISH COLLISION DETECTION AND SILLY CAMERA FAULTS -ORE THAN THAT IT DEMONSTRATES SOMETHING THAT VIDEO GAMES HAVE ONLY RECENTLY BEGUN TO GET RIGHT AGAIN PLAYER CO OP 4HIS IS GREAT BECAUSE IT DOESN T MATTER IF ONE IS BETTER THAN THE OTHER HELL IT BARELY MATTERS IF YOU HAVEN T PLAYED BEFORE THERE ARE ONLY THREE BUTTONS TO PRESS AND THE PREMISE IS DISARMINGLY SIMPLE USE YOUR lSTS BATS

AND PIPES TO BEAT UP NAME LESS THUGS LIKE YOU RE THE STAR OF EVERY S KUNG FU lLM EVER MADE /F COURSE IT FALLS APART AFTER A WHILE 4HE REPETITION STARTS TO GET TO YOU AND YOU BEGIN TO QUESTION WHETHER YOUR MATE REPEATEDLY PUNCH ING YOU IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD IS REALLY @ACCIDENTAL )T ONLY TAKES ONE MISPLACED JUMP KICK AND SUDDENLY YOU VE FORGOTTEN THE ENEMIES AND ARE BUSY TAKING SWINGS AT ONE ANOTHER ! LESSON FROM THIS 6IDEO GAMES DON T NEED TO BE COMPLICATED ESPECIALLY WHEN PLAYING AMONG FRIENDS )T S HARD TO INCLUDE SOMEONE IN A GAME WHEN YOU CAN T HELP BUT BEAT THEM WITH YOUR EYES SHUT -AYBE THAT S WHY RETRO GAMING HAS TAKEN OFF RECENTLY AND WHY GAMES LIKE 3ING 3TAR AND 'UITAR (ERO HAVE BECOME SO POPULAR SIMPLE CONCEPTS DONE WELL 3O IF YOU RE STUCK FOR SOMETHING TO PLAY WITH YOUR FRIENDS WHY NOT DIG OUT AN OLDIE BUT GOLDIE 7HATEVER YOU END UP PLAYING REMEMBER VIDEO GAMES ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FUN PLAY GAMES THAT INCLUDE OTHER PEOPLE RATHER THAN FRUSTRATE THEM 'O ON CLEAN THOSE STREETS *OSH 0IERCEY

ALLIES PRODUCES A MUCH MORE POWERFUL CHARACTER WITH AN ENTIRELY NEW SET OF MOVES AND WHILE THEY RE VISUALLY STUNNING CREATIONS AND ADD A NEW DIMENSION TO THE lGHTS IT REALLY ISN T ENOUGH AND YOU LL SOON BE BACK TO HAMMER ING 8 DUE TO IT BEING BOTH EASIER TO DO AND PERHAPS MORE EFFECTIVE $ESPITE THESE SMALL NIGGLES AND THE EVER PRESENT CURSE OF THE POOR CAMERA AFFECTING THIS GAME TOO +INGDOM (EARTS TRULY IS AN AMAZING ACHIEVEMENT 7ITH STUNNING GRAPHICS AN INTRIGUING STORYLINE AND VARIED GAMEPLAY IT S SOMETHING VERY DIFFERENT AND A TITLE THAT BENElTS FROM BEING SLIGHTLY OFF KILTER 7ITH ALL THE DIFFERENT WORLDS TO VISIT AND ALL THE SECRETS TO lND THERE S CERTAINLY ENOUGH TO ENTERTAIN FOR A LONG TIME AT LEAST #HRIS (YDE

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h) SAY YOU ARE QUITE RAMSHANKLED TONIGHTv

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WATT A PERSON OF LIMITED INTELLECT h3HE WAS A BIT OF A WATTv

-ARDY TO BE ANGRY AND CROSS h$ON T TALK TO ME ) M VERY MARDYv

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h&O SHIZZLE MY NIZZLEv

#OMPILED BY &ACTY -C&ACT #HASING A CHICKEN THROUGH TOWN NAKED USED TO BE THE PUNISHMENT FOR A &RENCHWOMAN WHO COM MITTED ADULTERY -EXICO ONCE HAD THREE PRESIDENTS IN A SINGLE DAY PER CENT OF !MERICANS THINK 3HERLOCK (OL MES IS A REAL PERSON ,EATHER MONEY WAS USED IN 2USSIA UNTIL THE TH CENTURY 4HERE ARE MORE CHICKENS THAN HUMANS IN %NG LAND 4HE SILKWORM MOTH HAS BRAINS ! HOUSEmY HUMS IN MIDDLE OCTAVE TO THE KEY OF & ! KICK FROM A GIRAFFE CAN KILL A LION 3OME FROGS CAN SURVIVE BEING FROZEN SOLID AND THEN THAWED OUT AGAIN

2AMSHANKLED TO BE VERY DRUNK

3HIZZLE TO CONCUR

#ONCRETE &ACTS

#ONCRETE 3UDOKU %!39

-%$)5-

7ELCOME TO OUR 3UDOKU COMPETITON 4HERE S A a "ORDERS VOUCHER IN IT FOR YOU IF YOU CAN GET YOUR HEAD AROUND THESE NEW PUZZLES "RING YOUR COMPLET ED 3UDOKUS BE IT ONE OR ALL THREE TO THE #ONCRETE OFlCE BY .AME #ONTACT

#ONCRETE #ROSSWORD

!#2/33 ,IE ,IMB 3TUNTS HELD BY SPORTS CLUBS FOR NEW MEMBERS &OGLE 46 0RESENTER 6ANILLA PEA 'AMES HELD EVERY FOUR YEARS ! COUNTRY RESIDENCE OR ESTATE 2IVER IN .ORTH 7EST &RANCE 'OD OF EROTIC LOVE &ORBIDDEN BY LAW ,ADY FROM -YTHOLOGY WITH A TROUBLE SOME BOX #URRY -ADE IN 3HEFFIELD -ONASTERY 2EGION OF 53 BORDERING !TLANTIC /CEAN -EMBER OF 3CISSOR 3ISTERS 3EVENTH LETTER OF 'REEK !LPHABET -AJESTIC SUBLIME GREAT 0LUNGE INTO LIQUID #LIP TRIM

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/UR 3UDOKU SPONSORS ARE "ORDERS 6ISIT THEM IN #HAPELlELD WITH YOUR STUDENT CARD FOR A DISCOUNT ON THEIR RANGE OF BOOKS #$S AND $6$S

a BOOK VOUCHER TO BE WON

$/7. #HAIN FOR KEYS #ONTAINER FOR RUBBISH 3TRINGED INSTRUMENT 3COTTISH INSTRUMENT )N #HEMISTRY THEY CAN BE IONIC OR COVALENT 3NAKE -ENTALLY DISTURBED 'UITARIST FAMOUS FOR ,AYLA 'ODLIKE &AST FOOD OUTLET ON 0RINCE OF 7ALES 2OAD ,ACK OF CONFIDENCE 3UBSTANCE OF THE 7HITE #LIFFS OF $OVER #OMMOTION PLAY +ILL BY NAILING ONTO A CROSS 4ITTER CHUCKLE 5SEFUL QUALITY 0ROVIDE SUPPORT 5SED WITH A GUITAR ,ATIN PHRASE ABBR 0ART OF A PLAY

4HERE S A a BOOK VOUCHER COURTESY OF 4HE !VENUE "OOKSHOP UP FOR GRABS 4O BE IN WITH A CHANCE OF WINNING BRING YOUR COMPLETED CROSSWORD TO THE #ONCRETE OFFICE BY .AME #ONTACT

,AST WEEKS CROSSWORD WINNER WAS $AVID &ULLER AND THE SUDOKU WINNER WAS 2UTH (OWARD #OME ALONG TO THE #ONCRETE OFFICES TO COLLECT YOUR PRIZES

3PONSORED BY

4HE !VENUE "OOKSHOP

!VENUE 2OAD .ORWICH