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SEX ISSUE 2003 INSIDE: UEA's sex habits revealed, we meet Norwich's very own sex experts PLUS check out our love message board to see who loves you this Valentine's Day Issue 148 ·Wednesday, February 12, 2003

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UEA's independent student newspaper

PICTURE EXCLUSIVE This is the student who had to be restrained by Charles Clarke's bodyguard as he tried to throw a snowball at the Education Minister after his open meeting with students in the LCR on Friday January 31

MORE PHOTOS ON PAGE 3

Ne ws Editor

UEA student has tragically died after into the River Wensum in Norwich, •u•••unan>< a night out drinking last week. Post graduate Paul Andrew Brennan, who was ning to be a secondary schoolteacher, was ceiethe end of his placement at Hellesdon High

!::VENT

between the Novi Sad Friendship Bridge and Carrow Bridge at 12.20amonThursdayFebruary6aftermembers of the public reported seeing a man struggling in the water. An inflatable boat was launched to help Paul but he had disappeared beneath the water by the time emergency crews arrived . The crew ~ventually used the boat's anchor to bring. him to the surface before paramedics attempted to resuscitate him on the riverbank. The 26-year old was pronounced dead at the Norfolk and Norwich University Hospital . Claims made by the press that there was no life ring by the side of the river have been quashed by Police Officer, David Green acre.

statements to him. AwitnesswasalsocallingtoPaul, when hewasnear one of the ladders, but he couldn •t grab hold of it." He added that the police are still carrying out enquiries . ''The indications are that he had drunk a lot, but we will be looking into forensic evidence." Policearekeen to hearfromanyonewhomayhaveseen Paul in the area prior to this incident. At the time of his death he was wearing beige trousers, a black T-shirt, a grey-green zip-up cardigan , an olive green-coloured jacket and dark shoes . Police are appealing for a group of four people, two females and two males, who were sitting at a table in Lloyds in the far right hand corner of the bar, possibly drinking champagne, to come forward . It is believed they were Paul and his friend .

man was between 5ft 8i n and 5ft I Oin tall . The second man was black, aged 26 to 30, between 6ft I in and 6ft 3in tall. two women were both white, aged between 17 and 18 and both had long blonde hair. lt is believed ihey were called Kerry and Danielle. Members of this group may be able to assist the police with the last movements of Paul and his friend . An inquest at Norwich Magistrates Court on Friday February 7 heard that Paul had been in the water for 40 minutes before members of the pu~lic saw him stuggling in the river. The inquest was adjourned o that inquiries into Paul's death can continue. Anyone with any information about the incident should contact Det Sgt Marie James at Bethel Street, on (01 424242.

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---------------------------------------------. Concrete

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'Dr Germ' defends weapons

Chemists to train at UEA EA HAS been given the go-ahead to start up a new pharmacy course in the Schoo l of C hemical Sciences.

REBECCA LAWR ENCE News Editor

This will be the first new pharmacy co urse to be a ppro\Cd in the C K in O\er thirt) yea r!., a nd it \\ill receive its first students in . eptember, writes Cene1•ieve /\err.

N INFAMOUS former UEA student has spoken out, say ing that I raq is entitled to have biological weapons for defence. D1· Hihab Ta ha a l-Awazi ··or Ct•rm,'' "ho ~ tudied at EA in the early eighties, ha~ de nied that the re gi me "wea ponised" lethal to xins a nd 'iruse~ under her command . T he Iraqi doctor, " ho IHIS taught in the Sc hool of Bio, admit ted that " 1H did produce biological age nt s" - b ut said that under her co mm a nd the dcmll~ anthra~ a nd bo tulinum to"in 11cre ne, er \\Capo nised. •·\\c nc1er had the int ention to U\C it," 'o hC Sa id. Or Taha, "hose s tud~ ing at ll EA 11:1'> funded b) the Iraqi minist r) of higher ed ucation. sa id \he "a-. not :l'>ha m ed of he r "o rk dc1eloping biological 11ea pon~. "'lo. not a t a ll beca u'> c in 1995. a nd until 11011. Jraq has bee n thrc;1tcned b) d ifferent enemies a nd we a rc in a n a rea that s uffers fro m regional co nflict." " I thin!- it is our right to ha1 c a capabi lit) to defend o ur~e h es."

Students to pay m re to fund staff pensions REBECCA L AWRENCE News Editor

wiU be going up the University oYer next few ·car in order pay pen ions for staff. Over the years, the Univer ily no t et as ide enough mone y pen s ion schemes. meaning mo re money need~ to be ut in to me ·t additio nal cos t ~. ni on General Manager, Andy claim; th a1 UEA are not alone this . Most pen ion sc heme& across countr arc having the >amc >On problem.

w'ck mar\..et ha fallen. T h • polential income ha' gone dow n, but e\pcndJturc has increased. In order to pa) pcopk"s pen~ion~. price~ have to go up to mccttlwm .'' lle add..:d that the Unlh!r,ity and Union will try to retain a defined benefit scheme. so people kno1 what they "ill get when they retire . "'This 1<o o pposed to peop le's pens ions being su ceptibk to stock market change~. We don't y..:t lulO\\ how much prices will go up, but it will be right across the board." "There's no mcga crists JU t the additional fa c·tor to affect the pric.:s everyone pays. lu the end it's about worker;, we've got to give them pension.:· But

Co mmumcauon, , Atan Precce insis t ~ that the >hortfall s arc not the mvcr,it y'~ fault. lt> pcns1 on scheme ,., managed by independent trustee' who determine the Je,el o t Unhcr.,ity cont.ributions required to en urc that the. chcmc ' income from both c0ntributions and invc, tmcnt can accommodat e its respons1bihtics including. primarily, prm iding pcn;ions. "'It is widcl} known that returns on 1111 C\tment ha'e reduced substantially O\er the past fe" )Cars and, as a ccsult, the llnl\crsity will be obliged to reinstate contributions. "The l:>enel1t of hi"orically low,

co nsequences of higher from o p\:rational income ac ros orgJnisation." lie added that had th • cont inued to contnbute

chcme q uite hea1 ily. "The fullunplicdti< n' of the statement of contributions emerge in November 2003 "hen results or the ne t trienni al cvaluatton of the scheme ;, la1011 n," said

broke out last week when education minister Charles Cla rke was attacked in a debate with EA <;tudents over the controversia l white paper.

On Va lentine 's da~, there \\i ll be a t'a ke ~ ale in the Hi1e, a nd the following da~ ''i ll sec a tug-of "ar t'O mpet ition out~ ide Norfolk Terrat'e.

The meeting was he ld in the

LCR on FnJ.ty Janu.u-y J I. a nd M r C larkc Lllngra lll lated UEA o n ho ld 111 g it. say in g the re need s to he stronger rel ations bel\\ cc n uni\ cr-itics a nd communicati ons. \\Tiles Rehecca Lt i \ITt'IICl' I 11ant 50', of the po pu latHm to he ahk to ancnd uni1er,it) Snciet) ncelh a l11gh amount o f people "i th degree' The ()\er C\panslom or um1 er'oltics has not c\tendeu a.;ro" the soc1al 'pcctrum:· In p re - pr~p.tred que,tJ >n,_ mem bl': r' nf the audience "ere able to a,J..

Abore: Clark e arril•ing at UEA

ight: ru1d C ha rles C larke go t a mixed \.,elcome \\ hen he c ame to the niveL it y . Page 3: We spy the stude nt caug ht trying to throw

a snowball at the Educalion '\.1mister Page 4: Ba k~hat - find o ut what the Datsun~ did when they ca me to UEA.

Fire alarm disrupts LCR A Fl RE alarm caused havoc when it went off at the LCR las t Sa turday, leaving hundreds of stu dents out in the cold. Seeurit) o, taff had to go round a nd tell s tuden ts to e' acuate the lli\C, a the alarm was no t loud enough for them to hear.

RAG '' eek begin this F riday, with a series of events in as ocia tion wi th Co ncrete to raise money for Childline a nd Shelter.

Page 2: Future "tudents set to pay higher prices at UEA

72 places a rc to be offered to Se ptembe r. T he ni1 c r i t~ has C'o tabli~h e d good links 11ith 01cr 70 p harmacies. ' ita I as part of the .t-year degree course. C o ur~c Orga niser .Jo Vi ncent \aid <, he is 'Cl") exdtcd abou t the nc11 def.!ree prof.!ramme. " \\e arc hopin g to a ttract stud ents "it h high A lc1 cl !-! rad cs and from a d ifl'c rent 'a ri e t ~ of bacl-ground s. I fee l this co urse 11 ill help dc1elop the g n111 ing health care courses at the Uni1 ersit)." ~ tud e nt~ n e ~t

Rag to raise next week

T he hif.!hlight of t he "eel- is the \ inlr'>. Tart'>. l'im ps a nd llo ·, pa rt~ on Tue<,da~ in the LC R. J'ickcl' m ai lahle fro m the bo" office. Concre/t' Editor, Ka tie lli nd i'> a ppea ling for <,tudents to come for11ard and help raise mo ne~ fo r C hild line. "C hild line is \UCh an impo rtant c hm· it~ a'> there arc !>O ma n) )O ung people out there 11110 need help. T here arc '>0 man) c1ents on 11<''-t ll<'l' i-. '-O come a long an d ~ up port u,_..

\\ 'ede""'"''· Fdmwrr 12. 2003

Page 5: We identify the bird who has been causing havoc on campus PLU don ' t miss harlcs Clarke\ supe r

cially for you .... Page 21: We find out what it's reall y like being a foot baller's wife Page 22: High hopes for UEAs footballers · Page 23: , orwich C Lt y' ~

column.

Page 7: UEA pays tribute to tragi<: Paul Brcnnan Page 9: \ ome n on the ci ty's sex scene interviC\\ cd. Page 10: Have you got an admi rer'> Check out our

Valentine's messages

annual . urvey Page 14: Your guide ho\\o to spend your Valenti ne' s day Page 16: Check out the best or onnch 's trends Page 18: Fun pages - espe-

d isapp ointing week Page 24: Kortball t ·am nar-

Page 12: UEA's ~ex secrets revea led in Concrete '.1

rowly lose out

J\lr C larJ..c abo ut thd r conce rm over the new I unding 'Y'Icm Ior hi ghe r ctl uc at aHL

1-cclings o\·er the 11ar "nh Iraq "ere abo ht gh. " tth stu dcnh shoutmg. "can't pa) lnr educat1 on. but 1 nu can pay lnr war:· Cha rlc' ClarJ..c sH id the war need<o to be put 111 contc.\ 1 1111h the lin ancta l >ituati nn acro.,., the co untry .. auonal ddcncc 1' nnportant. and \\C '"11 continue to fu nd it. Other count ne> do n "t fu nd at the k1cl "h1ch m: fund uniYer'olties.-Ch.trlcs Clarke dckndcd a .sugge'>tion thal the Labour party 'hould he c·alled the mtlhnna1res allll hyp ncn tc "'

part~

" \\ c 11ould clmc ! ' EA ,hmn tf that were the case. and JUS! ha1e (hbndgc . ben 1! ta \es 11erc put up. "hi eh the ckct<,ra te d<>esn ·I \\ant it \\ <.'uldn ' t \Phc Urti\C.: r~tt) lunding."

Student dam Lo11ther 11ho 11a<, th ere said the tiremcn "ere ca lled, bu t students 11cre still kep t waiti ng fo r me r an hour. ·• \\ e were kept outsid e for j u<,t o H~ r an hour until a gu~ turned up " ith a note in h i' car sa~ ing · E elect ricia n o n ca ll' . The entire night 11:.1s wasted ... Onion Com muncations Office r· ed G la<,icr a pologhcd for the a lar m. hut sa id it "a' out of the nion ·, contro l. " So meone broke the gla ss in the pu h. We don't kno11 " ho did it. We are luning a m eet ing about it. and 11orking to ma ke ~ure it 11011 ' t happen again ."

You can bank on it lJEA BOSS, Jcn n) (;rant ha'> hit back at Co ncrete·~ t'a lls for work tn begin on the empty Llo) ds bank site - claiming a food out let "ill be open th i., term. After more than t11o )Cars of '>la nding em pty a nd a dela)Cd Fchnu11·y o pen ing. the 'ite 11ill ope n ih doo r<, to '> ludents on '\larch 31. write.\ }el/111' Dale. \\ork;., set to begin in the nc:-.t fe11 11ccks. Grab & Co "ill ollc1· haf.!uettc\. hot brcakfa<,t rolls and dcli-'>t~lc <,a nd"ichc., , J\ h (;ra nt defended the suggestion that there 11ere too man) food ou tlets scn ing students. "The re,ults of '>ignilica nt qua litathc and <tuantitati1c research in the l(u·m of fncu'> gruups and di<,tribu tcd quc<,tionnairc'o." She refused to comm ent on 11 hat proposaJ.. " ere rej el'led.

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Celcrttt Wednesday, February 12, 2003

www.concrete-online.co.uk

Spice time

Bodyguard holds student back as he tries to throw a snowball at MP Clarke-

EX-SPICE girl Mel C is coming to UEA this semester on Thesday May 6 as part of her brand new tour. Known as the best singer of the Spice Girls, Mel C has just released a new single, and her album, ''Reason," is out soon. Mel C said she was really looking forward to the tour, especially being able to play a whole new album's worth of songs. "I can't wait to get back on 路 tour and UEA is a great place to play." ln a message to UEA fans she said the gigs should be even better. ''Having new songs to play is always exciting and obviously we'll play songs from the last album too. I'm also looking forward to playing live with the new band. I've got three new band members 路 Greg (rhythm guitar & _vocals), Georgina 'Grog' (bass & vocals) and Sarah (keyboards & vocals)." ''Being in rehearsals is great but you can't beat playing to an audience!" Entertainments Administrator Diane Anderson said it is the second time Mel C has come to UEA. "We are delighted to have her again. It went -really well last time, everyone enjoyed it, and I'm sure they will again. I can envisage tickets selling fast." Tickets are on sale now. at the UEA box office priced at 拢17.50.

TillS is the moment when a third year UEA student was held back and warned not to throw a snowball at MP Charles Clarke. The student attempted to chuck a large ball of snow at Clarke as he left campus after his meeting with the Student Union.

SLEEPING TO THE TOP

A SHOCKING 50% of UEA students have had a one-night stand, and would use sex to further their careers or get a .better degree. The results were revealed in Concrete's annual sex survey, writes Danielle Aguis. The female results table showed that a staggering 80% of girls have used the morning after pill, which may link up to the fact that 40% of you have had unprotected sex. More students are in relationships than ever before, leaving single students with little choice, judging by rates of attractiveness. Girls are enjoying a higher percentage of sexual activity, and it turns out they are also getting what they want in the bedroom, jointly choosing the same position for favourite and most used . But boys seem more confident -

rating higher on their level of sexual prowess and confidence within themselves 路 it is the girls who are surpassi'ng men in their bedroom activities, having sex at an averagely earlier age and admitting to more sexual partners: 6 as opposed to the boys average of 4. When it comes to friendship, UEA students are loyal to their mates with the majority saying they would never play around with a friend 's partner. But Union Finance Officer Michelle Pratt said she finds some of the results of the sex survey very worrying. "The comments about unprocted sex are concerning as one mistake can have serious consequences. I'd like to remind tudents that free condoms are avaliable from the advice centre and the health centre offers a family planning service.

Concrete Comment, page 8 See the full results of the sex survey on pages 12 and 13.

An onlooker watched as the male scraped snow together and prepared to hit the Minister in the Square. "I really thought he was going to do it, but just as he raised his arm, Clarke's bodyguard came over and shouted at him to put it down. The man was really angry with the student," she said. "Charles Clarke just kept walking

away quickly, I don ' t even know if he knew anything was happening. But Clarke has appealed to students to speak up in future. "Personally I always try and conduct myself in an open way and I'm happy to debate issues," said Mr Clarke. "I enjoyed the meeting and I felt

Page 4

www.concrete-online.co.uk

CoiCrete

Wednesdav. FebruarY 12. 2003

CONCRETE'S GUIDE TO WHAT YOU SHOULDN'T KNOW .....

Return of the Mackie

Beat the

.JUST when we thought we had seen the back of him, the Union's favourite person is set to make a comeback.

burglars TilE HOME-OFFICE obviously thinks that students have nothing to do but waste their time playing computer games. "l'hey have set up a new wa)' of tackling burglary r ates amon~ students involving a new interactive computer game called "Kebabathon," writes Ch ris Browning. Students must help Danny Timpson. a drunken student who has lost hi s ke)'S, break into his house without dropping his precious kebah. Sound familiar ? Some how playing a computer game is supposed to reduce student crime rates. h} showing them how to ~ reak into their own house. 1\tost of the time the game doesn ' t even work. but if you do wa nt, to somehow magically r educe the risk of burglaries in ~<\ur home go to "ww.good2hsecure.co.uk.

An insider is not surp rised to sec that he is coming back - but the~路 are bemused that 1\lackie

thinks his help will ensure the candidate will win his post. "lt路an ' t helie'e that he think\ that by ha,路ing him imohed. the 'tude nt will win . lt's utterly ridiculous. hut then it is funn~ too. I mean. this is the bloke who has lost more elections than he 's had hot dinner<,." Mackie - "ho ''as President of the Co nsenathc Soc il'l~ while he was st udying for his Histor~ degree - left UEA three years ago. He wa s last seen sa luting hi., Union Jack flag. We'll await those res ults on February .20 with baited breath.

lngo's outburst

Ian l\lackic. who has ollicially lost more elections to become a Sabbati cal Ollicer than anyone else at liEA. is ironical!)' returning to help a nother candidate with his campaign.

THOSE Datsuns certainly know how to live the rock' n ' rolllifestyle. Not. While they were wai ting to take to the stage to headline last week's NME tour which was held in the LCR, the big-haired band were spotted watching reruns o f none other than Popstar : The Rival s.

O ur pe rfectl y-placed so urce watched in horror as the dirty foursome sat in their Union House dressi ng room stari ng at the likes of Geri Halli we ll. Loui s Wa lsh and Pete Waterman. 'They were j ust stari ng at the television. complete ly bemu sed by it all. They looked complete ly numbed as I think they have had a busy few weeks. But I was still shocked . here they are. your harmonic generators. a rea ll y cool bunch o f lads and they were watching Popstars.'' " I! just seemed completel y incongruous that the Datusn 路s. a sc ruffy lot who write their ow n music. were spending their free time watching manufactured pop rubbi sh." he said . The Datsuns. who hail from ew Zealand. shot to fame last year with

their hit /11 Love. lt was cl osely followed by Harmonic Generator. They are currentl y in the middle of thei r on-going world tour until the end of the summer.

C HARLES C larke might not have too many fan s at the moment - but .he is certainl y not on SOC student lngo Wagenkn echt 's Chri stm as card li st. When the MP ca me to UEA at the end of last month . lngo ran to the front of the LCR and shouted at the MP- before running out. But Clarke is not worri ed. In fact. he ftnds it amusing. He told Concrere after the meeting: " lngo has been followi ng me around since 1997 and every time l talk somewhere. he does exactl y the same as what he's done today." Don't these people have anything e lse to do'!

RUM OU R has it tha t love is brew ing bet ween a ce rta in youn g ma n, with a fo nd ness fo r chocola te, a nd a lovely lady ca mpa igning in the Union elections. News reaches us tha t t hese two a ppa rently have bee n looking a t each other from afar for a while. But j ust recently - and in perfect timing for th eir election ba ttle - they have beco me slightly more t ha n j ust good frie nds ove r the nomi nat ion

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Cotcntt Wednesday. February 12, 2003

www.concrete-online.co.uk

Page 5

Charles Clarke Secretary of State for Education

Plans unveiled -for a multi-storey car park at UEA REBECCA LAWRENCE News Editor

For those of you who missed my meeting at UEA, here are the answers to some of the more popular questions the students asked me on the day

CONCRETE can today reveal UEA's latest plan to beat the campus parking crisis. Bosses at the University's Estates division have announced that they are trying to get permission to build a multi-story car park to allow more space for vehicles. Estate Development Director, Joseph Saunders is currently awaiting planning permission as' the overflow car parks on campus are becoming unusable, and more room for cars is needed. But Mr Saunders claims this is not the only plan he has -he is considering a number of options to relieve the pressure on the main car park in the future. "It is too early yet to be definitive about a solution, but every effort would be made to minimise adverse impact both during procurement and thereafter, and to maximise benefit in the final outcome. A balance will be struck when reaching a conclusion."

Cannabis • warn1ng CAMPUS Police Officer, PC Richard Bell has issued a warning to students against the use and possession of Cannabis. He warned that the drug is still a class B drug and it is illegal to produce, supply or possess it. "You can still be arrested. The maximum sentence for possession is five years. In the summer, the government will decide if Cannabis will become a class C drug, and even if it does, it is still an offence to possess it, unless it is prescribed!'

Sebald tribute

A ONE-DAY conference was held last week in honour of the UEA lecturer Max Sebald, who died last year.

It was held at the Institute of Germanic studies in London on Friday January 31 and paid tribute to Mr Sebald, and his work, The Emigrants, The Rings of Saturn, Vertigo, and Austerlitz.

Questions answered There is a very wrong contradiction concerning student financial support. Labour says, "Social justice extends to education, but imposing £3,000 will make it more' elitist and there will be a deepening of class distinctions. A: We will be increasing access. Debt dissuades people going to university, but we will have £1000 maintenance grants to help the poor. The real access inhibitor is the quality of teaching at ages 14-18. The networks which Cambridge and Oxford work through don:t favour the poor. The access regulator will stop them from charging the £3,000 fees, unless they encourage the working class t? come to university. Why can't you pay money for student finance if you can pay for a war? A: This needs to be put in the context of the financial situation across country. National defence is important, and we will continue to fund it. Universities have not been a priority, and we have given a 6% in real terms increase- which is high by historical standards. Other countries don't fund at this level."

UEA Security Manager Mike McCormack, who will be involved with the multi-storey plans in terms of access, traffic and security. "Any car park plans have to be in line with the new travel plan. which aims to lower the amount of cars on

campus. It will stop parking in the overflow car parks. I' m not anticipating a net gain." But he is still encouraging students - and staff to use bikes, walk or car share in a bid to put a stop to using the overflow car parks.

"They're fine in the summer, but much to wet in the winter, the blue overflow car park. for example, has been closed for the past few weeks," said Mr McCormack. Above: The future for UEA? See Concrete Commelll, page 8

WACKO JACKO A NAUGHTY jackdaw has been causing a nuisance on campus - stealing money and cream eggs from the paper shop and UFO. A regular feature around the Street, the bird has now out tayed his welcome, after a woman complained that he attacked her two children, who were eating sweets. On Saturday, the bird snatched around £200 from a member of staff and scattered it around outside the UFO. Most of the money was found. He also liked to wait by the cash machines to try and take people's cards as they came out of the machine. One girl had £20 stolen by the thieving jackdaw. He was on· the handlebars of a bike, and as the owner attempted to reclaim it, the bird picked his fingers. After several attempts, security officers managed to capture the bird last Sunday. Security Officer Gary Laidlaw, who was involved in the arrest, said

REBECCA LAWRENCE News Editor everyone thought the bird was funny, but it had just gone too far. "We got him in a crisp box in the paper shop. Either he would have got hurt. or a member of the public. He likes cream eggs best because they are sparkly. He'd actually knock on the windows of the shops. It's unbelievable." Gary also thinks the bird was

when caught, he didn ' t struggle. "He definitely put up a fight to resist arrest, but once caught he was fine. People shouldn't really encourage birds with food, as then, if they don ' t get it, they bully you into giving them food ." Gary said the bird has now been taken to an avery north ofWroxham. " It was a health and safety hazard . At least there is a happy ending. After three or four weeks at the avery. he will be rehomed."

Can't the money come from taxpayer in general? A: Who are the beneficiaries of universities? Society, individuals, and employers. We need to look at how we can balance this. Universities cost 7.5 billion, and the fees put a small amount towards this figure . Students are paid for by the state. 40% leave at 16, and then receive no more money. Therefore 40% are left paying for the rest to have five years more education . which isn't fair. More money should go to schools so they can stay on. It is fair for students to pay money towards their education, as they are likely to earn more when they graduate. People who have graduated find it hard to get a job and need to do post graduate courses. What is the position on funding for postgraduates? A: There will be an increase in graduate bursaries, which only have to be paid back when graduates have got a job. Research done suggests there will be more jobs for people who have gone to university. You are aiming for SO% of the population to go to University. If SO% have a degree, will it not devalue their worth'? There are many jobs that don't require a degree, which are important. A: I don ' t accept that view. it is Conservative. If we are going to compete in a globabalised economy, we need to compete on a highly skilled level, therefore the population needs university degrees. The cliche, "education, education, education" is outdated. Labour seems to have failed education in all ways. There is little "money for under Ss as well as for secondary schools. A: You are entirely wrong. All four year olds are now getting a nursery education, as early education is where differences may come in later. Much more resources are being put in. I go to schools more than you and actually talk to teachers. I'm a graduate, earning less than £20,000 and it would take me SO years to pay off my load. Is that a legacy you want me to hand on to my children? A: If you're earning at this level, you would pay back £38 a month. I don'J think it's an unreasonable amount. I defend it as it is better to pay after a degree. If you get benefit out, you should put some in. I do think people are very angry but we've had a reasonable discussion. You can vote against me. This is a democracy.

AllnoireM.rlo~~ld.

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Colcntt Wednesday, February 12, 2003

Page 7

Book for the blind

Building break-in

TWO CREATIVE writing MA students have helped to publish an anthology containing work written by the blind and partially sighted.

REBECCA LAWRENCE News Editor

ANOTHER UEA building was broken into last week, although little was actually stolen. Thieves entered the arts building on January 30, between 10 and 10.35pm, and broke into various offices in different departments. Director of the East Anglian Film Archive David Cleaveland said some items of film equipment were taken, although they were not of much value. "We will be much more villigent now, and improve security." Several offices in SOC were also broken into, but again only a few items were stolen, such as a small amount of money. Secretary Emma Bentley said she didn't know why the thieves broke in. "'Ibey seem to be opportunists, who then got disturbed. It's a nuisance really." Police Officer PC Bell said there were no suspects at the moment. "The motive is unclear. Forensic evidence was taken, but any witnesses should contact me on 01953 424242." Tbe break-in follows a burglary at Earlham Hall in January, and in the School of Biology last October.

Tributes flood in for tragic student who died last week TRIBUTES have been flooding in to honour the late Paul Brennan, who drowned in the River Wensum in the early hours of Thursday February 6. His shocking death has left the UEA community feeling devastated, especially those who knew him, and worked with him at EDU, where he was studying for a PGCE to become a secondary school teacher, specializing in Religious Education. Dean of the School of Education and Professional Development, Anne Cockburn explained that staff and students had been saddened to hear the news of Paul's death. And his course tutor, Marian Agombar, al o thinks he will be missed. She said he was a very promising student teacher. "As his tutor, I thought he had real potential as a teacher, and visiting him in school demonstrated this very clearly. The school he was teaching at see his untimely and tragic death as a real loss to the profession, both as a teacher and a colleague." She added that his fellow trainees

died. Assistant Head Joan Ceilings who looked after Paul during his time at the school said he had made an excellent start and had a very promising career in the teaching profession . 'He did really well in his first placement, and he was well liked and well respected • by colleagues and pupils. It • has been a great shock to us • all. The staff room is very • affected, and the school is • very quiet. The pupils are • subdued.' • Norwich Police Officer, • David Greenacre said one of • his officers had a daughter • who attended Hellesdon School. "The officer said that all the girls had a cru h on him. Apparently he was devastatingly hand ome." Paul's parents, Kevin and Anne Brennan. and his Rachel have released a ment concerning the death • their son. saying they would • like to thank everyone who • was involved in the attempt to rescue Paul, including those members of the public who initially raised the alarm. ·we would also like to

thank members of the emergency services who attended, and Norfolk Constabulary for the support we have received ." The funeral will be held this Friday at Shrew bury Crematorium.

"But they have some really warm memories of some of the laughs they had with him too. We' ll miss him. Our sympathies go to his friends and family." Paul had been on placement at Hellesdon High School, Middleton Lane, Norwich since October, and he finished the day he tragically

Last year, blind and partially sighted people met every two weeks to write poetry and short stories in the workshops. The best work from the groups was published. Copies of the book cost £3, and can be obtained through the NNAB, Magpie Road, Norwich.

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REBECCA LAWRENCE News Editor

Joy Taylor and Michelle Remblance volunteered for the NNAB to produce the collection, called Sixth Sense, writes Genevieve Ke".

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Free labour to cut fees A SURVEY has revealed that 75% of students would do volunterring work, if it meant a cut in their tutition fees. The national volunteering charity Time Bank surveyed 2000 students across the UK, including UEA students, and found that only 10% or' students surveyed · currently volunteer, but more would if they could reduce their tuition fees. TimeBank commissioned the survey in response to a government paper discussing the possibility of offering cash credits for students who volunteer in the public sector and financial provisions for students wanting to do a volunteer gap year. · Student Volunteering Week 2003 starts on February 17 and will launch with a debate around paying students to volunteer. To find out more about the debate, campaign, case studies, and the benefits log onto www.saintorsinner.org.nk or call 0207 401 5328.

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www.kafeda.co.uk Kafe_dafJbtopenworld.com 01603 622836 01603 66M14

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Expensive eyesore The pla n to build a multi-storey a t UEA is probably completely unrealistic. but at least the th ought is there. At a time when more stud ents arc driving their cars onto campus (this proba bly has someth ing to do with the huses being totally unreliab le ), it is evident that more parking spaces a re desperately needed. So it sounds like a fant astic idea, that is, until you th ink a bout the motives behind it. In September, the majority of students will be ban ned from bringing cars to campus. We will not be entitled to a perm it, so we will be forced to pay expensive ra tes on a daily basis. University bosses daim they arc doi ng this to cut down the amount of cars because there are not enough spaces, but surely if they wa nt to build more levels, there will be more room. T his is where the problem lies. lt would be to tally ludicrous to think that the University a re goi ng to back track and dis h out permits. No, instead, they will cha rge us students those high, dai ly ra tes to make a bo b or two out of us. O n a lighter note, there is the q uestion of aesthetics. T he University could hardly be described as the most a ttractive of places, in fac t, most of it is little more than a concrete jungle. Admittedly, if we allow a traditional grey, dreary multi-storey car park on campus it probably wouldn ' t make that muc h of a difl'ercncc. Except fo r those fu ture in habitants of Wavcney ' 'the Swedish prison" Terrace. For those whose rooms face the current car -pa rk, life a t UEA is set fo r a n all-time dull.

Pensions payout Future UEA students are in for a shock. Not only will they have to pay inflated prices for their tu tition fees, they will also have to pay out more money throughout the University in order to fund stafl''s pensions. Without a doubt, employees should have pensions, we a rc not arguing wi th that, but money should have been paid into these funds on a regular basis. And the unfortunate part of it is that student debt is set to rise and rise until not only will potential students be put oil" UEA d ue to expe nsive accomodation, library tines a nd foo d charges, they will be put oil' going to university all together. lt was only in the last issue of Concrete that the ViceC hancellor revea led that he wa nted th e Univers ity of Eas t Anglia to compete with the top red brick unis in th e next fe w years. T his will only happen if th e intellige nt - not th e rich come to UEA to do their de grees a nd this will only ha ppen if these stu dents do not have to ta ke out a sma ll mort gage j ust to live in a Wa veney Terq1ce bedroom for one yea r.

Union take over debt-ridden bar ADAM LOWTHER

THE UN ION has stepped in to manage the G raduate Student Bar following the revelation that it has been operating illegally for four yea rs. In an open le tter to th e Gradua te S tud e lll Assoc iati o n Pre> idc lll Ken me mbers. Kenna rd revea led plan s of the sha l-. c- up fo li<m in g rece nt money problems. Be twee n A ugu't 200 I a nti Ju ly th e pre\ ious G.S.A CtHlllllillee la iletl to kee p pro pe r lin anc ia l record s for the har. The lc llc r we lll n n to sa) that the re was no formal " ock co ntrol and cash ha ndling lac ke d di sc ipline . Li ce ns in g rule s a nd ma u ers o f Hea lt h and Sa fet y w.: rc reg ula rly fl o uted. a nd s ta tutory commitme nts to C usto m s a nd E>.c ise a nd the Inl a nd Reve nu e had not bee n ful lillcd . A s a res u lt o f these s hoc king fac ts. the Swde nt Unio n too k the d.:c ision to take over a ll o f the da yto-day financ ia l dnc umentin g a nd the pr.:v io us fo u r years o f accou llls

2002 .

ing ilnd gel them fu nctioni ng a~ a bar sho u ld a nd has to: · T he c hanges. w ill '>CC a profc'>s iona l Bar Ma nage r takin g control o r s ta!"llng. stock cont rol and cas h hand ling. The swi"L pre' io us ly \llluntee rs but were ru mou red to be pa id in

hootc - ''i ll no\v n:cci'c

wage~.

Ke n

Kenn a rd be lieves these c h a n g~s w i 11 mea n the G rad ua te Stude nt C lub can be run more prok ss iona ll y. " it "i ll be run bcu cr hut still a ll ow the bar to re ta in ib separate identit y fro m the rest o f th.: nion ." And Ned G lasic r a" urcs postg rad uat e st ude nt s tha t the atmos phere o f the bar won' t ch ange. "The atmos phere and purpose o f the har wi ll re main as it a lways has done - a great place for post-g rads to relax with a diffe re nt fee l to bars run by the Unio n."

WHAT AWASTE THOM SMITH

Sexy education

Chief News Reporter

A UN ION Officer has defended his decision not to ask students to come forward a nd stand for this NUS Regional year's Conference.

Lecturers out the1·e should be very afraid following the res ults from our sex survey. The revelation that over tift y per cent of us wou ld sleep our way to the top should leave you all quaking in your boots. T he results show that 50 % of girls a nd 57 % of boys wo uld gladly give up their pride for a first dass degree or a top job. Now this is slightly wo rrying. But we wo nder, do us students want to sleep with our profs or bosses merely to get a tirst. or is it tha t stud ents find one another ugly? Lectm·ers. ta ke note. Loc k your doors a nd stay away from the LC R.

The meeting took place two weeks ago bu t no de lega tes from UEA altcndetl .

Conference neglect So, the Union's Communications Officer thinks the recent US Regional conference would have been ted ious and boring. Well, like a ll of us, he 's entitled to his opinion, but to ta ke th a t view a nd not publicise the event because of his own views is wrong. not to mention a waste of those th ousands of pounds which O UR Union pay to the NUS. And there WC were th inking that the Uni on is not just something that goes on upsta irs in Union House. Silly us.

til etl h) G .S.A a rc to be d.:emctl unsa fe. Unio n Co m m uni cati o ns O rtl cer 1 ed Glasic r confirmed tha t the Unio n \\ere handed the li ce nse on Monday rcbruary 3. ·· w e have pcrma n.:nt stall and a great dea l of ex pe rien ce at runnin g bars. T he grad bar has a sked us to ste p in to hel p the m regain their foot-

A bove: NUS President, Mo udy Telford and Ned Glasier

But U ni o n Co mmu nica tio ns Ortic.:r. ed Gla iser is not wo rri ed tha t no stude nt from thi s Unive rsity a ue nded a s he tloes tf t thi nk it is usefu l. " I do n ' t th ink it"s part icu lar ly se ri o us th at no o ne went on thi s occas ion . a mi xture o f o rticcrs a nd counci l re ps au e ncled the last o ne in Nove mber and fo und it to be not parti c ul arl y useful." But th.: U n ion pa ys aro und ns.ooo per year to a f"lili ate to the NU S . Thi s fee e ns ures that students a t UEA are rep re se nted by the nati ona l body. He a lso la be ls the conference use-

le" as it has no fo rma l dec is io n ma king powe rs " It is genera lly seen as a c ha nce for di rrcrc nt s tude nt uni ons to ne two rk and ta lk a bo ut iss ues. Us ua ll y e lec ted o f"li ccrs and repr.:sentati ves from Uni on Counc il tend to go. a lthough o n this occas ion no one vo lunteered to go." ' T he Uni o n al so fai led to acl\'e rti se the event wide ly to student s who may ha,·c be~n inte rested in a llendin g the event. ed c laimed tha t a ltho ug h the co nference was o pe n to any students it is no t no rma ll y a uc nclecl by peop le w ho d o no t pa rti c ipate in the Uni on 's deci sion-making proce sse s. ··Probably becau se it wo uld be bo th te di o us ly bo rin g a nd fairl y irrelevant to them :· He a lso feel s tha t the Uni on can do more in the uni,ersit y th an going to th e co nfere nce . " !"m o r the o pini o n tha t I se n e thi s stude nts uni on bette r hy ta lking to ' tudcnt s a nd wo rk in g fo r th.: m in nio n Ho use ra the r tha n tak in g a da) o tlto tra vel to a n:gio na l co nf"crc ncc w h ic h has no powe r to ac hie ve a nyth ing."

Concrete Comm ent, page 8

Time to choose EXECUTIV

lections are to take plac n February 20. ere we reveal who this year' ndidates will be. cademic Officer: insley, Alex Dawson; evane, Sarab Gurney ommunications Officer: Ne Jasier i11ance Offt'Cer: Catherin oodwin. Amy Harris, aspe1; Natalie Biggs Velfare Officer: Alpa ebecca Smith, Henr ammond. Suzanne Miles nvirotJmen.t Officer: Ruth Cole_ ys Howell 111eruational Students Officer: ymond Ng, Ariel Hui Wang "berations Offu:er: No nomina tions were received for this pos by-election will take place 01 e same timetable as the NU nnual Conference Delegatio lections ublicity Officer: Willlam Kemp, elen Thruer, James Thompson ocieties Officer: Dipesh Palana ports Officer: James Drakeford Womens Officer: Elspeth Jones. ominations can be re-opened fo I positions

www.concrete-online.co.uk

Page

Norwich has sol!lething for every sexual persuasion. Ruth Charnock interviews the manager of Sin Sin's Lovestore and a.professional 'table-side dancer'路 at the Devil's Advocate Nightclub to learn more.

The sex shop boss I t's not often that I frequent 'adult shops' (only on weekends), but for the cause of investigative journalism, I took my oh-so-innocent and pure self down to SinSin's Lovestore to see what they had on offer. SinSin's was set up in 2000 by husband and wife Sarah and Martin Price. I spoke with Sarah, who whisked me through the shop, up to her office, only giving me a brief glimpse of feathers, leather and some very disturbing vibrating paraphernalia. My curiosity was s.oon to be beyond satiated though, as Sarah promptly provided me with a host of 'informa-

"Even Boots will be selling vibrators soon," Sarah of Sin Sin's tive' leaflets, as she talked on the phone. She clearly noticed that I had paled somewhat, whilst flicking through said literature: 'Why are you grimacing?". This was not a good start to the interview - wasn't it me who was supposed to be asking the probing questions? But Sarah was infinitely approachable and helpful, filling me in on the SinSin's story so far: 'We used to have a market stall, selling clothes, but we'd been thinking about opening a sex shop for a long time. Ever since our own first experience of going into a sex shop, where we'd come out feeling unnecessarily embarrassed, we decided we wanted to create a positive shopping atmosphere where anyone could feel at ease browsing." SinSin's stocks products for any possible persuasion, but Sarah also insisted: 'We wanted to establish

a shop路which didn't just focus on sex but rather on the wider aspects of relationships ." When I informed her that I was without any significant other, she said, with a glint in her eye: 'We have plenty of things for singles as well." Eek! I tried to regain some sem-

"We're not personally opposed to pornography, but we don't stock it. 11

blance of control and asked her how she thought sex was changing on the High Street: "Shows like 'Sex And The City' and 'Sex Tips For Girls' are breaking down boundaries. We're trying to normalise sex at Sin Sins. Soon, even Boots will be selling vibrators." I wondered who the typical SinSin's customer would be. Dirty old men in raincoats? Giggling pubescent boys? Sarah assured me neither, "Although we would rather that a 12 or 14 year 路old came in an bought a condom, rather than having unprotected sex." As for Norwich's perverts: "I'm pretty unshockable when it comes to lewd comments. We're not personally opposed to pornography, but we don't stock it. Instead, we direct people towards other retailers in Norwich who stock porn." Finally, Sarah took me on a tour around the shop. I don't know exactly what I'd expected, but it certainly wasn't for everything to look so pretty and un-threatening. Admittedly, some of the products she showed me had me wincing a little, (you'll just have to look for yourself, I'm still trying to recover), but Sin Sins have definitely succeeded in their aim to "de-sensationalise sex and sexuality". And they have fluffy pink hearts as well.

The Lapdancer I

n a further bid to enlighten myself as to Norwich's sexual predilections, I spoke with Lisa Erikson, who is the overseer for the 'table-side' dancers at the Devil's Advocate Nightclub. Clearly, I'd got myself a little confused, as my first question was "How did you become a lap dancer?". Lisa was quick to set me straight: 'We don't do lap dancing. Devil's Advocate has table-side dancers, which means that there is no contact involved between customer and dance'r." Wouldn't a guy get more than that in Time though, without having to pay for it? Lisa went into more detail: "The girls wander around the club and socialise with the men. The men can then ask for a private dance, which costs 拢10. We don't do nudity, only topless dancing. The club also has pole dancing." We moved onto talking about the growing popularity of clubs like Devil's Advocate. "They're not as seedy as they used to be," said Lisa, "Devil's Advocate is lavish inside, it's not some underground club." As a woman, you expect to have to deal with the occasional pushy man in a regular nightclub. I wondered how Lisa advised her

dancers to deal with the inevitable troublemakers who get over-excited by so much gyrating flesh? "Actually, men seem to behave in a situation like that. If there's ever any trouble, which there rarely, it's words between guys and the girls don't seem to

"Actually, men seem to behave in a situation like that. If there's any problem, which there really is, it's words between guys and the girls don't seem to be involved. 11

be involved. But you get that in any club." Probably showing some deep-rooted prejudices, I was surprised by how well-

spoken and eloquent Lisa was. She informed me that most of her dancers are very well-educated and also hold down day jobs, although she wouldn't give me any further details. She doesn't dance herself anymore - "I don't think I couldn't get off the ground" - but deals with any problems her dancers may have. Although she had made the whole thing sound relatively civilised, I was still interested as to her response to people who might say that table-side dancing was tantamount to prostitution. "There is a fine line between the two," admitted Lisa, "But really it's the guys who are being exploited." That seemed like warped logic to me, but Lisa insisted: "They're the ones who are paying - the dancers are benefiting. Besides no one is forcing the girls to do it and it's a really nice atmosphere." By the end of our conversation, I was almost convinced to try out myself . Almost.

Page 10

Coacrete \Vedne<day. Fehruarr 12. 2003

www.concrete-online.co.uk

Special y designed ·for those of y u who provide you the perfect opportunity are congratulating poor old 'Blow Job be the start of a new chapter in your life. RC, what do you say? We had fu n, why stop now? x

Mr Hilfiger, the only thing I'll be Jetting you keep on is your Burberry hat, KT xx

Happy Valentine's Day Sammy Patt, get you r tits out, from Gaston

To Calle from the LGB -you are absolutely bloody gorgeous! I love Egg let forever

Rhi annon, I may be gone, bu t you're definitely not forgotte n. Really wish I'd studied you a bit harder while I was around. Is it too late for homework? X. J

To my~ ValentinM DaY •!\Cl I love you very mUch.

have

)'OPe

a lovely you know I

I love you , Chns\ Kate, I love you, be mine, -24 xxx To Jay, I love you and want to have your babies, love ???? xxx

My dear boy, I don't know you despise me, but seeing you ~ campus everyday and not exc~ single glance with you is driving me crazy. I fell in love with you, but you seem not to care! To the only MR in the joint + that MR.

Girl in the cords, One year and much sweet lndie loving later, I'm still listen;;. ing to the Bluetones and I'm more in love with you than ever. Modboy X

o tight to. splash out on a Valentine's card, we e how you feel. Whether you u are loved, this page could ly if your name's Geordie.... looking for me until you finally find me! , an excited Darius xxxxxxx it! Jon

To Matt Suprisel Thanks for being there for me. And makl!Jg.J1le laugh. Y04Ne ,tf\8 best friend ever.

J,oveyou. XlClCXx Angel xxxxx "To my lovely Laura "Lolita" Davison, will you be my Valentine and allow me to palpate your body for a pulse? Your clammy handed med student DJ" Kungall trme te dua shume · Nick, you're always drunk and you fall on the floor... But l's still love to be your little sex hoare!l! Robble G , I iz still yo ur laydee , you sexy dawg

Beccl, H I do something naughty, will come and investigate me for a · story? XXX

You know who u r, from MR Shake your pom pom,

To Tiger, the first time with you was so special , pity you can't remember it!!! Love Cheeky Monkey

XXX

To A, I will always love you, love Gizmo Happy Valentine's Day, want my actions to prove how much I love yo u rather than words. Love .always, Natl xxx

Danny baby, four times a day just ain't enough, so this Valentine's Day I want non-stop shagging. Love your bitch-master, Alite

Geordie, I'll dance for you ton ight, love Holly V XXX Vlk & Me!, please, please hit me with your rhythm sticks To my tough river man, love your sweet cheeks xxx Why do you fill me up, furry cup just to let me down? Oh Alfred. Your one and only chomper xk issx

Two beautiful , intelligent girls seek perfect men .. .any takers? .. thought not. not at UEA .. .

Dear Tom my banks, I will never forget that wild night - lets do it again sometime Tiger, love knees anon

Liz," I would go out with you but I've got a girlfriend. I'm working on it though ... x

Vik & Mel, please, please hit me with your rhythm sticks

Katle, I see you everyday and really want to talk to you but I can't 'cos I am a mute. You are the only reason that I go to every Union event. See you at the LCR! X

my sweet bum

Give it up for Blow Job Becky! Woo hoo Red rucksack boy, I watch you on the football pitch and wonder what you'd be like in bed . You're a nifty mover\ xx

back to mine and play with my cane?

I love you precloiJs Dobby and gonna miss you heaps. Happy valentine's Day XXX

Ruth, I know you said no, but this is just to say I still love you, keep drumming

Joana, ~ ,..'tAYi.illldlnt) is the most attrai:M ~girl at UEA, from your Asian ~ Dearest Heleel'la, 'WHI you be my Valentine? All my tove, Martine Fowler

·ro my red fairy, let's

KH - You are the light in my life. Will you let me be yours? Joe M

A McG , hope you're enjoying you r new 'house'. I heard it's less than salubrious. Happy (lonely} Valentine's Day

Joe, I saw you

John Riley. f love you even though I hate you, love your little cheeseburger aka sweaty Sexy Ed, this'll go to your head, but take me to bed

schmoozing at the NM E

gig, but will you schmooze with me? xx Jay, can I come dwell in your dungeon

BrHt J , you are the sexi est woman on campus. Love you lots and lots, please be mine?xxxxxxXJO()()()()()()

with you? You Wilby mine xxxxxxxxx

fly toget ~t~~~&.':.

are xx

band with the greasy the bar and I'll put jukebox for you

Omas-1 don't c what they say us anyway. I don't care bout that. Woo-Hoo, but you know I'm yours. hoo, and you know you're mine. Woo-hoo, and that's for all time. bumpkin.x

To Mike, Thank you for being my best friend and the most amazing boyfriend in the world for the Piist three years. Can't wait for our future together. I LOVE YOU VOMIT HEAD!! Gill aka fat bumx

Day to all of Twelfth

are brilliant and I want

To the gorgeous girl with the seJ~~Wffi:t!l~r:;m~:~" blue eyes, you' all my classes - I've To my knight, you are scrawney, but still seen you checking horny me Maria, You know you are a hot piece of ass. I'll never forget that all nighter. ok?!! BIIIiftlrrifi: You're so hot, I want you right now xxx

ET, have a supersexycool Valentine's babe. Completely your 888 To all the couples out there: - F.. k off suckers

Geordie - I love your 3- inch waist and 38 inch chest pounding up and down on my body xxx Kelly Osbourne, leave you r ce lebrity, heroin-addicted boyfriend and be with me! Love yas xxx

We love Blow Job Becky

To my baby - love you more than ever

Paul, Our first Valentine's Day together, bet you didn't think we'd get this far! Glad we did though, can't wait to see you this weekend so we can f**k senseless!! Love you so much, Rebecca xxx

fro m your sex kitten xxx To Toby, the sexiest ents assistant In the world, from you big, cuddly boss xx For lckle Pidge: Egg with SM seeks babe with CM for love, fun and relationship. Kentish background preferred! x Mat the bear, thank you for all the snuggles, you're the best! The Tuesday night game boys Astrid Astrid Astrid Astrid little girl lost with a tracking device/Astrid Astrid Astrid Astrid like Justine but twice the price/A Debbie Harry wannabe never looked as hip/A nicely brought up middle class girl with a good firm grip. xxx Alex McGregor HIS PG, this year you might find love - who am I trying to kid? Of course you won't! Ha ha ha ha!

To MC RJ the sexiest goddamn MF from hell I have ever ponced cigarettes off. lots of love The Dude in The Chair

To all you butchers' dogs, you know where I am x

Pretty girl, pretty girl You're so pretty But smell so shitty But I love you

The mystery messenger delivered your number - what next? · · Hey Wildeman, you Tarzan, me Jane,

XXXlCXlCXlCXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXlCXXXXXX

XXX

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Dear Chrls, Who thought that when we kissed on the roof of Norfolk Terrace in week 1 we'd still be together now! I'm still crazy about you, Rx

XXlOCXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Paul I wan na check out your Macjoyce menu, love' me, love my safety pin. From your own Polystyrene xxxxx

Grizzly, You can bear-hug me anyday x James, ask me out next time you see me in the supermarket! xx To my favourite Dane, how about we go

To our favourite Union House stewards! Lots of love Concrete To my lovely Concrete team, Happy Valentine's Day! Lots of Love Katie xx

Colatte Wednesday, Febntary 12, 2003

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21st century dating is a potential minefield for th~ average UEA student. Joe Wildman ·provides some pointers for the dating beginner.

hen I was given the task of writing an article on dating at UEA I had the concept of dating seven girls in seven days and making a thorough report detailing all of the essential facts. Such as were they interesting? Were they funny? And most importantly were they easy? lt would have been a purely educational report, a public service if you will. But the idea of me dating-and-rating girls apparently didn't make for good investigative journalism. With hindsight, I can kind of see where she was coming from, it would probably have been a very time-consuming project. So, with my own personal dating report on the backburner I was left with the interesting task of investigating dating at our University. After probing several students on the highs and lows of their UEA relationships and monitoring the seedy underworld of the LCA, I came up with some very ' fascinating and quite shocking conclusions.

ugly university? Send them up North were appearances mean much less. it's not all bad for the girls though; some of them find happiness at UEA. Just looking around campus you can't help but notice that there are some happy couples and being at university you would expect there to be some rather creative and romantic ways in which they got together. I was expecting all of the men I asked to tell me how they wooed their current girlfriends sacrificing their own personal dignity in the process. I was painfully wrong, in a number of the cases it was not the man romantically pursuing it was in fact the girl forcing herself upon him As my housemate so elegantly explained how he got together with his girlfriend at the LCR. "She raped me and I felt quite violated." So have we found ourselves in a time where women have given up on waiting for men to approach and instead take it upon themselves to force themselves on prospective boyfriend;>? Having recently

concerns with the whole dating at UEA experipulling classy and elegant ladies at university why not take the age old rugby team approach. Down ence. I don't understand the people who align eight pints of snakebite and then proceed to strip themselves with someone in the first week of their naked in a party-boy fashion . first year. What's the point? You don't go into a The girls also seem to be of similar class and shop and take the closest thing to the door, unless character as the boys when it comes to pulling at you are shoplifting. UEA Jen MGT2 claims: "lt never hurts to wear low Also one of the most horrific things that comes cut tops and use the twins to get yourself some from these usually inevitable break-ups is the disattention." My finest compliments to the finishing tribution of friends. Michael MGT3 made the point: school Jen attended. "lt can be ve·ry awkward and you end up never-. Of course for every happy story of love and passpeaking to lot of people who used to be your sion there is always about twenty involving friends." Especially in quite a close environment heartbreak and despair. The most upsetting and . like university, after separating with someone sudtherefore funniest one of these came from Grog denly a lot of places and parties that were once EAS 2 who lost out in love. " I met a girl in available to you become off limits. Fresher's Week who seemed alright. We started This has all of a. sudden become very depressgoing out and were together for about five weeks until she dumped me for my housemate who also ing and if you do find yourself without a partner fearing that you are never going to find anyone to spend your days with you must remember that there is always a silver lining: You could be studying c;omputer science, those kids never pull. fairness prospective SYS students should be informed of their school's motto "SYS - So You're Single." As for every other singleton don't fret - you have plenty of time. People are breaking up all the time; get yourself a rebound skank. However if that happened to be my best mate:• lt got worse "as strategy doesn't work for you, I will leave you with Grog went on to tell me how he's also had the the words I once received from a wise man over a pleasure of having to hear them having sex. He did pint in the Garden House: seem less perturbed as he claimed: "lt was over "Standards are for famous people - don't have quite quickly." This does however highlight one of my major any".

"Drink so much that you · can't see how ugly she is and hope she does the same," An drew, EAS 2

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The first and most obvious - to the female students anyway - is that there are so many more attractive women at UEA than men. I was personally quite dubious of this statement when I first heard it, but every girl and a fair few guys I asked seemed to agree. · Personally, not being too concerned by this dilemma I don't feel it particularly necessary to pose a solution to the problem. But I will anyway:

You don't go into a shop and . take the closest thing to the door, unless you're shoplifting. photo applications. Universities should undertake the duty of viewing prospective students not only on their educational capability but also on a much wider scale. How would they affect the physical make-up of the University? Who wants to go to an

experienced this myself I would have to agree that this is no passing phenomenon.

IN ONLY, EXCLUDING DRINKS AND DESERTS

o why have girls become so de.sperately forward? Notice how I avoided saying desperate outright, I believe in women's rights - I watched Ellen. Jess, EAS 2 suggests: "You hear of all these people who found their husband or wife at university ifs quite a scary prospect that the man you could end up spending the rest of your life with could be entirely dependent upon a drunken lay at the LCR." That is quite a daunting outlook on forming relationships at university but still quite justified. Maybe words like "spinster" and "solitary" are sending fear down the spines of the female students at UEA. I wouldn't panic too much however, not when there are such refined specimens as Andrew, EAS 2, whose advice for pulling is: "Drink so much that you can't see how ugly she is and hope sh.e does the same." Finer words have never been spoken. If you are mafe and are having a bit of difficulty

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Colcrttt WedJ1esday, February 12, 2003

Cotcrett Wednesday, February 12, 2003

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I lt's official - UEA students are sexual deviants with very active fantasy worlds. Ruth Charnock takes a peek behind the bedroom curtains of the student sex life in the annual Concrete sex survey, and gets a nasty shock.

ersonally, I prefer to be discreet about things of an ahem 'bedroom nature'. However, you dirty lot seem quite willing to get it out and slap ~ on the table. So here we bring you the third annual Concrete sex survey, resplendent with public displays of indecency, fantasy pe1is sizes (over 10"? Come on boys....) and Delia Smith. No questions should be left unanswered, apart from possibly 'is it in yet?'

Have you· ever had sex in a public place? If so, where? Answers on this one ranged from the boringly obvious - Hive toilets, car, party - to the slightly more surprising - supermarket, airport. I was wholly disturbed, however, by the little nympho who admitted to having done it in the Concrete office". Dear Lord, is nothing sacred? Should 1be knocking before entering, for fear of stumbling over copulation among the back issues? That aside, it seems that when you feel the urge, a silly thing like public decency isn't likely to sbp you. One has to pity the old dears who viewed the antics on a bit of grass outside their old people's home. The old fossil theme was extended further, with a couple getting down to it on a Viking longboat archaeological dig site in . Norway. The services to cultural relations award, though, has to go to the one chap who managed le pay his respects "in Prague city centre, Norwich city centre and a park in Berlin."

Have you ever had sex with a celebrity? Now honestly, have you really had sex with Nicholas Parsons? And if ·so, couldn't you have given us all a little more detail - is he really the quiz-master stud that he's reputed to be? As for Justin Timberlake, no wonder he has such a buoyant dancing style, as he seems to have been serviced by the entre female student population of UEA. As for the egotistical male who answered: "Only using my hand" how predictable.

What is the most extreme length you have ever gone to to get sex? Desperation was the mot du jour for the sex-starved among you. The men especially seemed to forget their scruples and think with their dumb sticks. "I dressed up as a woman", confessed one. Was that supposed to entice the lucky lady? The ladies had some bunnyboiling tactics of their own. Ona lady trapped her boyfriend in his · parents' bedroom during a BBQ while another got someone pissed on tec(uila, then pounced. This is a plea to all the ladies out there - a little bit of mystery and playing hard to get is a good thing. Begging your boyfriend may get you w~at you want short-term, but you'll inevitably be dropped for som~one less psychotic in the long run. And another thing, for all those boys who used the tactic of telling their girl they loved her, shame on you. Take as your mantra a thought from the one ethical chick out there who replied: "I'm not that desperate, it's got to mean something.•

Would you ever have sex to further your career or get a better grade? Lecturers and future employers beware. 50% of women and 57% of men answered with a resounding yes to this one. In fact, a lot of the ladies got rather excited about doing the deed with their profs. "I'd love a bit of John Streer, enthused ·one, with another confessing that they had already indulged in student-teacher relations. With the average elbow-patched lecturer on offer at UEA, (and that's just the women), it leads me to believe that your grades must be seriously slipping. Maybe we should all be thinking about pulling our socks up before we pull anything else down. Lecture over, now go flirt for.that first.

Which celebrity would you most like to have sex with? All the usual suspects were on show, as far as the men were concerned. J-Lo, Angelina Jolie (all about the lips), Kylie (all about the lush) and Britney (all about the paedophilic fantasies) were your celebs of choice. And of course, there's Delia. Maybe it's the way she kneads her dough or shakes her frying pan - you just can't get enough of her culinary loving. The ladies' choice$ started out luscious and American - Brad Pitt, Ethan Hawke, Jon Bon Jovi and George Clooney but got a little lost towards the middle with the two Richards. Yes, Whiteley and Madeley

However, the guys played their own part in the female misery. One · charmer apparently slept with a girl and then looked at photos of her sister and best mate and said he wished he'd met them instead. Further Freudian undertones continued with the poor girl who had to contend with her first boyfriend. "He thought he was a porn star and his mum had given him some really bad tips. After, he took the used condom home to show his mum." For the boys, it was mainly a matter of control. Or lack of: "After 5 weeks hiking in Africa, with no masturbation, it was all over very

"He thought he was a porn star and his mum had given him some really bad tips. After, he took the used condom home to show his mum" quickly when I met my girlfriend when I got back," said one. And finally one sick soul claims to have masturbated in front of 30 lesbians. I have nothing further to say.

What is your ultimate sexual fantasy? There are no limits to the downright degeneracy of your imaginations. But why, oh why, did so many of them revolve around the Hive? I present to you the two main culprits. One desperately wants a bonk in the Hive whilst trying to sell tickets while another of you dreams about being ravished by Union Ents chaps, Toby Cunningham and Nick Rayns over the Hive balcony. Methinks that is taking supporting your Union a ·little too far. · And oh, it's David Blunkett again. One student fantasises about having David Blunkett in the House of Commons pn the Conservative side. Even more ambitious is Tony Blair and Bill Clinton - the ultimate power lest. And there were more S&M fantasises than you could

shake a whip at: "To be completely dominated by a very strong, confident and sensitive man who would make me do things I wouldn't dare to initiate;• revealed a needy girlie, while another wants to be dominated on stage. You can always rely on the girls to paint a pretty picture though. Far superior to "knobbing J-l:.o", was "Jared Leto in the back of a red Mustang". "Golden shower" anyone? Wouldn't you rather "sex under a blanket in Primrose Hill in the summer, with a large bottle of wine and a tub of Ben and Jerry's ice cream"? I know I would.

How would you rate the men/women at UEA, out of ten? it's official - we're all mingers. Men at UEA were rated 5, and women only 4. So how come you're all still at it then, if you find each other so repulsive? As for sexual performance, women were still below par at a 4, whereas the guys, like they needed their egos inflated anymore, were awarded a 6. As for staying faithful, there's not much trust washing around the concrete confines. Not surprising really, considering all the sexual deviancy and back-biting going on. On intelligence, the sexes finally agreed. A resoundingly average 6. Maybe all those bondage shenanigans are cutting off your brain's air supply.

his was just a selection of the insights laid bare by your very thorough responses. Draw your own conclusions from the results. Personally, after wading through the grubby depths of the student psyche, I find myself turning more Mary . Whitehouse by the second. And, unlike Carrie Bradshaw, I have no Manolo Blahnik shoes or designer outfits to lessen the trauma. Only paper-cuts and a few very nasty memories.

You got a little lost towards the middle with th~ two Richards. Yes, Whiteley arid Madeley - love-gods of daytime viewing, both aficionados of the bouffant hairstyle and crap joke - love"gods of daytime viewing, both aficionados of the bouffant hairstyle and crap joke. But David Blunkett and Charles Clarke? Isn't that taking political. commitment beyond the boundaries of reason? They make Richard Madeley seem positively shaggable. Although, if I'm quite honest, I always thought he was anyway. That aside, the female's choices were a lot more imaginative, ranging from scruffy chic (Jude Law, Jared Leto, Tim Wheeler), to plain old scruffy (Brandon Boyd and Jim Morrison). And thank you so much to the .girl who suggested Drazic from He~rtbreak High. I'd almost forgotten his pierced loveliness.

Describe your best sexual experience I braced myself for the ultimate in debauchery, but some of your stories were positively poetic. "Underneath a cloudless sky, watching the stars on top of a mountain" had me making suitably girly cooing noises. "Emotion, love and girth" had a certain lyrical je ne sais quoi, but was surpassed by the pure bling-bling of the lucky girl who shagged in a king-size bed in Las Vegas. Less glamour and more glamour model was the student who did it over the bonnet of a Golf GTI and another was left wanting more from a guy who had his manhood pierced. She thoroughly recommends that all guys have it done. Ouch. Hope your taking notes, fellas. For the guys, it was all about the taste of the forbidden. One had a one night stand with his older manager . She apparently talked extreme filth and was sensational on top. Charming. Hardly was there time to recover when this was followed by Mr. Greedy who had a threesome with his girlfriend and her mate: "lt was a bit dodgy at first, but awesome at the end," he revealed. More awesome still was the lucky girl who got more than she bargained for with a pro-surfer in a car in Barbados.

Describe your best worst experience Heartless, heartless girls. Men, prepare to feel very·inadequate. "I made him stop because I was bored," admitted short attention span of Norwich. "With a virgin. The words - am I in yet?; said another. Too much alcohol and a penis was enough to make one poor love • puke. That's sure to give anyone a penile inferiority complex for life.

Best of the rest

Shocked already? Here is the remainder of your shocking confessions Best Sexual Experience "Lazy days when it takes ages - ~11 day on Sundays." "A one night stand with a very well endowed male friend." "After a good night out flirting with my girlfriend all night. lt was good to get my just desserts." "Having my boyfriend give me eight orgasms in one day." "Phone sex while I was in a different country to the girl." "Sex in front of a mirror while I was wearing suspenders. That was pretty exciting." "When I dressed up as a school girl. My boyfriend took charge, we used a vibrator, . he tied me up and we just kept going all night."

Worst Sexual Experience "Picking the blu-tack off my wall in boredom." "In his granny's bed." "An accident ejaculation due to some friction during foreplay." "Being pinned down by a fat, hairy, secondrate UEA football player while he tried to shag me. I hear he's in Germany now thank the Lord." "Being walked in on by my little sister, because she thought I was being beaten." "Post LCR fling in the Lecture Theatre. lt was very, very cold." "Having sex, when all my boyfriend's mates walked in."

Sexual Fantasies "Being whipped by Charles Clarke.•

"Being painted all over in bright colours with. a really tiny brush." "My wedding night in a huge 5-star hotel." "To have sex in a sunny field among the daisies." "In the pool of a waterfall in some hot, exotic country." ''Two women and a tub of strawberry jam." "Sex in a jacuzzi up a snowy mountain." "Having sex under the shower or in a bath . with several men around·watching ." "Having a threesome Jason Turner and Kyle Pascoe from Footballer's Wives in their big bath in their changing room." "A threesome with Heath Ledger and Orlando Bloom." "Covering a girl's toes in alcohol and licking it off slowly.•

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Valentine's Day is all very well for soppy couples, but what if you're single or feeling unromantic? Luke Roberts provides some options for those who prefer a more alternative ·day of love.

~ince

ver I can remember, Valentine's Day has been a source of panic. My heart simply hasn't been in it, so to speak. Gripped either by an unreasonable fear that I might ·have to buy something romantic and kosher for someone, or that an envelope with my name on it might suddenly appear, I prayed hard for February 14 to end before the conventional 23:59:59 deadline. Otherwise reasonable members of the public, my friends amongst them, seemed willing to give up their identity on Valentine's Day. Not content with Sarah o r Matt or Ben they morphed into not so mysterious question marks as they covertly Slipped saccharine messages into letterboxes and pigeon holes. · All things considered, St. Valentine must appreciate the efforts we make to commemorate his heroic defiance of the Roman Emperor Claudius 11 in the third century. According to differing 'legends, the Catholic Bishop Valentine performed secret · marriages for young lovers for whom the privilege was forbidden, helped Christians escape harsh Roman prisons, and even better, actually sent the first 'valentine' greeting himself from the cell Claudius had him thrown into. Busy m·an. While in prison, Valentine apparently Jell in love with a young girl who may have been his jailer's daughter. Oops. She was said to have visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter, which he signed ' From your Valentine'. However, some sceptics believe the first true Valentines card was sent in 1415 Charles, Duke of Orleans, to his wife. He

was imprisoned in the Tower of Lo:ndon at the time. Presumably his friends had read the card and utterly disgusted, dobbed him in to prevent him from writing any more. Maybe the question mark everybody adopts on the Saint's day of remembrance denotes the mystery of what Mr. Valentine really did. Valentine enthusLasts will be glad to note there are many websites such as valentinegifts.com where appropriate homage can be paid to the venerable saint. All you need is a credit card and faith . The History of Sex set, 250 minutes of VHS enjoyment, is described on the website as: "From the Victorians to Viagra, the Kama Sut ra to the condom, this collector's set is a light-hearted, enlightening look at sex and civilization."

~ry

turning up at the Sportspark dressed only in a loincloth and ask whether you might hire some bow and arrows for the day. Reasonably priced at £59.95, but make sure you orde.r for him/her well in advance. Or perhaps Thomas Jefferson's pocket watch (only £60.00) is the thing your lover has always pined for. This might be incorrect, but ther·e seems to be a

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strong current of resistance to waves of scented flowers, chocolates and candle-lit dinners. So for those who will not be romantically wrapped up on Valentine's Day there are many methods of eva- · sive action to take. The good news is that Val's Day falls on a Friday this year. So if you're searching for something alternative to do on the 14th there are plenty of options. You could,choose to ignore Valentine's Day altogether and simply go out on the town as normal. You could saunter down to the Waterfront to find out just who Rumble feat. Adam are. Adam F's single Smash Things should get you in a suitably anti-schmaltzy mood. However at £12 a head it's an expensive query if you aren't already a big fan of Rumbling Ad, which is why you might consider other possibilities. One thing that does nobody any good is being miserable. Be nice, not just ordinarily so, but especially kind and thoughtful to your friends. The chances are they might have fallen by the wayside in previous years. Show everyone you can trust with the knowledge how much you love and or appreciate them. If you're doing this properly you should find yourself in conversation with your ex apologising for stealing their favourite COs and agreeing to give them back on -Monday. The most constructive thing to do would be to spend the day preparing for the global anti-war demonstrations against war on Iraq on the 15th. Why not show the world how much you love it by fighting against·some insane politicians who seem willing to destroy large portions of it? Part of your warm- up for a day of loving the world/ fighting politieal injustice could include

watching Michael Moore's film Bowling for Columbine at 8.30 in LT1.

f you really must have company on the day why not take advantage of the Internet and get a date with St-Valentines-Day.com. The Internet dating thing can actually work. Discounting the one where the date's ex- boyfriend was a drug dealer who cut he~ python in half, I've heard some very positive stories about coming face to face with your interne! date. For die-hard subverts, Valentine's Day is a very exciting time indeed. Putting up any left over Christmas or party decorations to counter those pink and red fluffy hearts that start appearing everywhere, inopportunely swaggering into alleyways next to clubs, suddenly turning the house lights on full during the slow numbers. These are old tricks from Valentine pranksters. Try turning up at the Sportspark dressed only in a loin cloth and ask whether you might hire a bow and some arrows for the day. Any forms you are required to till in must be done so under the name of "Cupid." If you encounter difficulties in hiring your equipment, and this is foreseeable, roll your eyes and say, "You can't get anything done here, not for love nor money." Alternatively, make yourself as unattractive as possible to avoid harassment from those intoxicated with Valentine spirit. Wear black from head to foot and explain to everyone in a quavering voice that you are mourning the loss of true romance to lust and consumerism. Hey whatever you do, have fun.

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Love journeys

TRAVEL

Page 15

Nice

hy stay in Norwich, when there are so many oth~r romantic ra~el options out there? Danielle Agius provides a guide to ome loved up destinations this Valentine's Day. t's the most important weekend of the year concerning your relationship -where is the most romantic place in the uni- 路~---~". Well , as of this current time we have yet advanced into two day breaks in so we'll be sticking to the closer ity of Earth. But worry not; there are still e little gems of places to go in this brief informative guide to last minute ideas for weekend of sizzling love you'll never to forget. So if we were rich we would robably choose to soak up some sizzling sun for some hot hot luwin' in the heat. But on a student budget - '""'" "'c we should modify this daydream so slightly - I think a snowy Norwich is uite beautiful, to be honest.

European Escapes Where's the most romantic place in the kids? Valentine's travel is all about ct~'"'''t"'~oc and cliches - it has to be. does every girl want on Valentine's Roses, and if you get her roses, then know you've done things right. it's kind the same with travel; cliches are a perfecteasy road to the heart. Not suggesting shallow but Paris anyone ... Yes me is host to some of the finest love in the world, not only oozing culture antiquity, but that perfect mood of sentintal tranquillity !hat will send anyone into old style mood of courting .. .or sexy pas. Europe has it all : art and culture, clubs fashion , ancient ruins and modern metropolises, beaches and glaciers, skiing and swimming , so for whatever romantic taste, there is an answer. Whisk yourself away on the lightning-fast Eurostar for a passionate weekend in 'Pareee' and be back in time for Monday lectures. Drift through the secluded streets of Montmartre, marvel at the city of lights aboard a cruise of the Seine, or dine the fine cuisine of the breath-taking 1050ft Eiffel Tower renowned for its stunning views. A finale live performance of Moulin Rouge will pull the curtains down to a close. Fancy some Italian amore? Jump on a flight to Rome, Italy's most tumultuous city laced with hot romance. Hire yourself a moped and catch the panorama of attractions, or sip your espresso work your way through a tub of gelato in a popular piazza or founta in. If you feel the need to add some historical cement to your loving, get a taste of the Empire by visiting the Colosseum .. .well Gladiator was partly a romance wasn't it? And a final bonus would be the food , the food, the food ... oh the sexy Italian food - a

welcome assault on the senses, order that spaghetti and pucker up people .. . Perhaps the canals of Venice may be more suited to transport your desires to that certain someone's heart. Although it may sound kitsch you can try the famous gondola serenade tour, sailing the canals with a baritone and guitarist in the next gondola. While your gondolier bellows those notes to the world and his neighbour, you can cuddle up snugly in relative seclusion in the back. Stepping back onto stable land the city is your oyster; discover Venice 's true heart on the Ponte di Rialto, and walk hand in hand along one of Venice's most famous bridges or get mysterious at a masked ball.

New Ways to Love If all this is sounding a little too soppy for the senses then scrap it. Celebrate in individual style with something a little different; whoever said love has rules is simply wrong. Raise your glasses in a champagne toast dawn or dusk drifting serenely thousands of feet above ground in your very own Hot Air Balloon ride. Not particularly private but stunning views, and it gets pretty cold up there, cuddling is essential! If you'd prefer the comfort of the room but still with those perfect excuse sub-zero temperatures visit Jukkasjaervi in Sweden and stay in their very own Ice Hotel. Built from scratch every year, using 10,000 tonnes of crystal clear ice and 30,000 tonnes of pure snow, temperatures reach minus 8 and the only way to keep warm (other than the reindeer skins provid ed) is a little bit of close contact I'm guessing - although this isn't stated in the guide . lt even contains its own chapel if lust turns to love and vows need to be exchanged! If we're going to talk about weddings on the most romantic day of the year, it would be a crime to leave Las Vegas unmentioned . Not only the entertainment capital of the world but the wedding one too, it caters for all tastes, and yes I mean all. So if flowers just aren't enough and you fancy hitching Rachel and Ross style in a random declaration of your love, then Nevada is the State.

"Get aboard that love train, love train " If you can't afford the time or the money to get overseas panic ye not, what the heck is wrong with ye olde England? London is the largest city in Europe so you can do just about anything you please, and only two hours away by train you can even leave on Valentines Day itself. Bag some tresses in trendy wendy Oxford Street then head off to the West End to catch a show, from Chicago

loo? Why wo"ld I w'"' to go the.e?

To be honest you probably don't. lt is notoriously for those with cash. Plus, if you go in the winter period, more or less everything is shut up in preparation for the beautiful people. If you feel frivolous though , Nice is gorgeous and the weather is worth it.

to Grease, Les Miserables to Lion King, whatever puts you in the mood: tickets start at 拢20. Turn on the charm with a dinner cruise on the River Thames and if you're feeling slightly naughty take a peak at London's hidden sights in one of Cupid's capsules on board the giant Ferris Wheel that is the Millennium Eye ... for some true charm check out the Yellow Pages to hire a swish limousine, bubbly and all.

Homely Loving If planning isn't your forte there 's some B&B's around the Golden Triangle, after all whichever part of the world you end up in, you know the saying - as long as you're with the one you love you'll always be in paradise. Okay, don't run off and be sick - it's only once a year so let that romance bug mingle with your travel bug and hit that love road .

I'm not shelling out my cash for nothing, what about t he entertainment? Entertainment is based in or around Vieux Nice. There are an alarming rate of tacky Euro bars which become tackier mini Euro clubs late at night. Imagine the worst bits about the Eurovision Song Contest, triple it and add inebriated Italians who know the songs. Yes. The calibre of the other clubs is much better dependent on your musical taste. One favourite is Subway, which plays everything from Ah Ha to Euro-trash . If you want a refined night, the opera house, is a good starting point. Loads of restaurants/cafes come as standard . But what if I feel like getting "cultural" and absorbing my surroundings? Museums! As well as small galleries, the Contemporary Arts Museum is pretty good. If you can be bothered to get on the bus to Cimiez , you can delight in both the Chagall and Matisse museums, but Nice is primarily a seaside town, geared up for (rich) tourists. Escaping to a little place like Villefranche also in the South of France is more beneficial because it isn't so immersed in tourism . Forget what you said earlier, I'm a Brit on holiday ... ! don't want to get into anything "unnatu ral" , where can I fi nd my own ? Why you would want to spend money to go abroad and be among the British is beyond me. If you simply must have your way though , there are Irish and English pubs to discover if you take a hapless walk around Vieux Nice. The absolute centre of Britishness contaminating Nice is the aptly named Wayne's. Populated by an assortment of people, you never fail to hear an obnoxious English outburst somewhere in the vicinity. Dark, dingy and dripping with debauchery, Wayne's will make you feel like you never left home. How nice. What about my relationshi p with the French Euro? Be careful. lt is like monopoly money. You will get very silly with it, and before you know it, all the beer money will be gone. Just make sure you have a good understanding of the rates before you go so you can compare and contrast and not get ripped off. When is the best time to go? To avoid disappointment, book early and don't bother to turn up until it gets warm, otherwise you may as well be in Norwich . Go if you must in April, although the nicest weather starts in June.

Serena Murray Apolog ies to Sarah Fraser, who wrote last week's Sixty Second City, wh ich was miscredited to Sally Wain-Heapy

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1\fedn e.,day Felmwr" 12. 2003

This week we bring you the bes on Norw ich's fashion scene with Philip Browne for the boys and Soho for girls

Above: Arm string vests £6.99 each (two worn as one), Arm camo skirt £14 .99, Puma trainers £65, Tatty Devine jigsaw necklace £30, perspex bangles £8 each . Left. Black Kylie top £12 .99, black combat pull tie pants £19.99, Tatty Devine Rubix cube bracelet £19 .99, Tatty Devine reco rd bag £54 . Far left. Chunk be etle tee £24.99. Lee jeans £39 .99 , Puma bag £15 Below: Yellow Diesel hat £12 , Duffe r shirt £80, Diesel jeans £119. Below nght. Givenchy suit £395, Du ffer shirt £95, Vivienne Westwood tie £45 , Patrick Cox shoes £154. Below far right Red Duffer zip sweat £70, Duffer rocksteady !-shirt £35, D1esel jeans £85

Co-o rd inator: Jenny Fry Photographer : Ed Webb-lngall Photograhper's assistant: Lucy Johnston Stylist: Ellie Shears With special thanks to models : Lydia, Jenny, Andie ,Toby, Tom , Simon Soho: 13, Lower Goat Lane, Norwich - 01603 620988 Philip Brown e: One, Guildhall Hill , Norwich - 01603 664886

CoiCI'Itl Wednesdav. February 12. 2003

Page 17

www.concrete-online.co.uk

Ill Issue 148 Editor

Katie Hind Deputy Editor ~im

Send your letters for the attention of the Editor to Concrete, PO Box 410, Norwich, Norfolk, NR4 7TB or email them to su.concrete@uea.ac.uk

Whalley

News Editor

Rebecca Lawrence Chief News Reporter

Safety scares Having read the article about student safety in last week's edition of Rabbit, I felt obliged to inform you about an incident that happened last Thursday evening after the LCR. After recent student attacks, I was concerned to let my female friend walk back to the Village alone. Consequently, we approached security believing, as reported, they escort the "vulnerable" back to safety. However, instead of receiving help, we were rudely informed that only the "incapacitated" qualify for a life home. As my friend was not in an "incapacitated" state, she was told to make her own way home. I am slightly confused and concerned about this as it seems that being drunk rather than conscientious affords you protection! The road back to the village is often deserted, and as a female student I do not feel safe walking along it alone at night. What exactly is security's policy for student protection as they seem to be giving out the message that they ae present for student safety, when in practise, the reality is very different. Troubled ENV student

No more meat In response to the article 'Veggie Horror' in edition 146 of Concrete , I would like to offer an apology to Daniel and other non-meat eaters for the unfor-

tunate incident that occurred in the Diner. Daniel was kind enough to send me a copy of the letter that he sent to the editor and although I have tried to con~ct him through the e-mail address he gave. I have received no response from him and have therefore been unable to personally discuss his experience with him . To ensure that this problem doesn't recur, we have moved the vegetarian option away from any meat based dishes (to the far side of the hotplate) this step will mean that there is no chance of the conteRts from a meat dish falling into the non-meat dishes. I hope that Daniel accepts my apology and can feel confident that this incident will not reoccur. Simon Connolly General Catering Manager

teachers and nurses. Furthermore, the notion that people benefiting most directly from a public service should have to pay more for that service than other members of society is a very dangerous one. Should people who get ill most have to pay more for the NHS? Should people who have children have to pay more towards the education system than those who don't? lt appears that the Labour Party has difficulty with the notion of collective provision for public services but it would be an extreme social injustice if the Government continues to lead us down the

Features Editor

Ruth Charnock Chief Features Writer

Danielle Agius Fashion Stylist

Ellie Shears Sports Editor

Marc Dudley Photographers

Gareth Davies Ed Webb-lngall Advertising Manager

Labour losers

Jenny Fry

I attended the recent meeting with Education Secretary and UEA MP Charles Clarke in which he was given the impossible task of defending the Government's plans to allow universities to treble the amount they charge for undergraduate tuition fees to ÂŁ3000 per year. Mr Clarke argues that students should contribute towards their tu ition as graduates tend to earn more money than non-graduates. The principle that people should contribute towards public services according to their income level is a desirable one. However, many students do not end up with well-paid jobs after they leave university, not least those entering the public sector to become

path of effective privatisation of public services. If the Government thinks it socially desirable for 50% of young people to go to university, it should make the case for increasing income tax for higher earners to pay for education as a public service. Adrlan Ramsay, UEA Green Party SOC PG

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Thom Smith

UNTHANK ROAD,

DRWICH1 NR2 2PE

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Fun

Horoscopes

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Expect someth ing catastrophic to happen to your appearance this week . But don't worry - that spot/rash/facial wound will give you plenty of time alone to consider what's really important. Be wary about signing anything in the near future - prolonged contemplation may be making you feel more generous th an you actually are. Don't worry if you're overcome with waves of uncontrollable anger - it's down to th e positioning of Mars. Having said th at, an unforgivable betrayal by a loved one may also be involved . Try to remember th at displays of physical restraint always look good in court. Treat everyone with equal suspicion and you won 't go far wrong . Remember that essay you cut and pasted last week? Looks like you got away with it. Just don't try it again. it might be an idea to check all the books you used out of the library, in case a certain somebody with long hair decides to go back and check your sources anyway. A person you haven't seen for several years will present you with an unexpected gift. Use it quickly - it won't be long before they realize they've given it to the wrong person . Yo u can expect to be romantica lly successfu l for the next fortn ight, so a sexual advance, however inappropriate, may be th e best way out of (or into?) a tight situation . If the stars have their way, then your money troubles are over. But don't get too comfortable with your newfound riches - when you have the cash people will expect-you to pay for th ings. In th e end the choice is yours : hand over th e money or receive a sound k1ck1 ng the next time your back is turned . The colour green has a strong role to play in your prediction this fortnight, although the context isn't clear. Are you not being as environmentally conscious as you could be? Do yo u envy someone more th an you should? it cou ld be that weari ng green may lift your spirits over the next few days. Or perhaps you'll merely feel jaded . Hard work will be rewarding for you in a variety of ways. Put in the hours and all aspects of your life will improve. Getting difficult jobs done now wi ll free up time later to have fun without stress, and prov1de the money to finance it. All a bit obvious, really. Forget the gadgets, technology is no longer your friend . Mobiles, alarms and buses will conspire to screw up yo ur week if you let them. Take action now and get back to basics - non-synthetic fibres, talki ng face-to-face, walk where possible. In fact , when was the last time you had a meal cooked on an open fire ? Telling someone what you really think will create shortterm friction soon, but should improve matters eventually. Just try to do it with a bit of tact - the deception has been going on far too long for bru tal honesty. Approach the subject slowly, perhaps commenting on the weather, before going for the jugular. Mel Brooks once said , ''Tragedy is if I cut my finger ; comedy is if you wa lk into an open sewer and die." Remember that when someone laughs in your face over the coming weeks - it isn't that they don't care, more that your incident is going to be hilarious to a casual observer. Now might be a good time to ask that person you've been staring at out on a date. Make sure you avo1d th e LC R, the stars suggest embarrassment in front of friends. Go somewhere quiet, check that your fl y IS zipped and everything will be fine . Oh dear. The next coup le of weeks aren't going to be much fun . Try to stay in bed for as much time as possible and have yo ur meals brought to you. However. even that may not be enough. Bad luck is haunting you at th e moment. Expect your bed to col lapse and

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www.concrete-online.co.uk

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Wedn esdav Febmarv 12. 2003

Here is an opportunity to share an embarrassing moment or even expose your friends and watch them turn crimson as they start to recognise the dirty details ...

ver the summer, I was staying at my boyfriend's house when he was called in to work at Sainsburys at the last minute. . Since he was trying to pay off his overdraft ready for next term, I told him I didn't mind waiting at home for him. Besides, his Dad, a rather cute doddery old major type who had retired several years ago, was there to keep me company. Since we both shared a love of art, his dad suggested that I take him to an exhibition. I decided to show off my impeccable art taste by taking him to a small gallery that I had discovered only a few months . ~ '(ij earlier. But when we got inside, I discovered that the temporary >.0 exhibition featured erotic photogc raphy of transsexuals and men 8 t simulating sex. After bragging <tl about my penchant for L---------~---==-----------------------------~ 0 Impressionism and having an inphoned my dad and told him I had purchased road tax for my. depth conversation about Picasso's contribution to the car. 1then asked him if I could speak to my mum , luck1ly he didModernist movement on the way, this really wasn't what dear n't let me. old pa was expecting. I tried to speed walk through the gallery 1 then remember being in a flat fu ll of beautiful women. I but every turn we took revealed an even more explicit image . . was crawling on the floor with a dishcloth in my mouth. I Phew, even as a die-hard fan of Sex And The City, a girl can begged for food and offered to exchange my body for a slice of see rather too many willies in one day. I've made a mental note marmite toast. Pitying me they handed me a slice and unfortuto stick to the Tate next time. nately declined the offer. Apparently I then crawled under the That was embarrassing LLT 2 sink and began laughing hysterically. My friends thought I was. choking and everyone was worried for a short while. · My friend and I were waiting in a large queue at McDonalds. 1 then stumbled into the girl I fancy's room . Here I wrote a Behind us in the crush was this gorgeous bloke that we had · confession of undying love to her in a notebook. After realising seen around campus before. I reached over to grab my friends that 1 may have made a fool of myself I began crying and apolohand and whispered 'He is sooo sexy' But I'd accidentally gising like 1 had murdered a member of her family. I said my grabbed the hand of the girl behind me- his girlfriend. She last farewells in a way which a death row pnsoner may b1d turned to him and said 'Tom, I think this girl fancies you .' adieu to his wife. I ran out slamming doors and jumping down Mortified, 1 pretended to be incredibly interested in that collecthe stairs. Half way down I noticed a bundle of Concrete newstion box at the counter that is always full of two ps ,and a few papers and a cardboard box. The box was instantly assumed to straw wrappers, then I grabbed my order and ran for it. be a hat and the papers were mine. Sam, EAS 1 Later 1 found out that a girl had pulled my flatmate, bestmate and me. She is twice as tall as me and she was sober. Nasty! After seeing how wonderfully toned Geri Halliwell and Madonna are from their Yoga antics, I enrolled in classes at my local Richard Dowdeswe/1, EAS leisure centre during the Christmas holidays. I hardly ever do sport and took the opportunity to buy some new clothes for my 1 was on holiday, having the time of my life in Magaluf with my newfound past time. I picked out a luscious light cream ve lour friends from school. One evening, we were getting ready to _go outfit that as well as being sporty, would also look flattenng 1f out, consuming the usual copious amounts of alcohol. I decidthere wer~ any boy-shapes flexing their bodies alongside mine. ed to wear my brand new white dress, bought spec1ally for the The night of the f_irst lesson came and there WA_S a cute boy holiday to show off my tan. . there who poised behind me. We started off domg a 'few s1mple went into the best club in the resort, where I knew the guy I mov~s and were then intrbduced to a squatting ''warrior'' stance. We fancied was working behind the bar. I started grinding right in 1 felt an unsettling stirring in my bowels during this particular front of where he was pulling pints, and then got on to the top of pose, which became more frequent as the moves got mcreasthe bar, and danced seductively in front of him, edging my wellingly difficult. 1 was beginning to regret my chicken karma d1nner toned bum into his face. . . that I'd quickly gobbled down earlier that evemng. To my.horror, 1 saw him looking at me in what I tho ught was amazement, unt1l during the ·"dog" position, I fe lt a splatter of hotness c~m1ng from one of my friends tapped me on the shoulder, af]d rushed' me my posterior, drenching my cream tra~ksUit bottoms w1th orange into the toilet. She pointed to the back of my dress, 1t was covshit. To niake things worse, the cute boy, who was pos1ng nght ered with red smears. I realised I'd come on right in the middle behind me, saw (and smelt) the whole episode. I scurried out of my sexy dance! Needless to say, we didn't go back there · the class, praying to god that I hadn't left a .trail behind me. again! · Skid-Marks, HIS 3 Very embarrassed, LAW 2

After a very drunken evening in the bar, my friend and I both left at the same time. Somewhere on the treacherous path back to the village I befriended a bush and ended up walking cross country for an hour. We ended up on a bench outside the Sportspark. I called a girl I really fancy and told her to come and pull my best mate. Thank God she refused. Not believing I had wasted enough credit on someone else's pulling chances I

Key to this weeks love-o-meter...

Do you have an embarrassing moment that you want to share with the UEA population? If so, come to the Concrete office and drop them in or email us at su.concrete@uea.ac.uk. The most embarrassing entry will win a free ticket to the Thursday LCR!

Look out Cupid!T hings a re looking decided ly rosy fo r you today.

If toilets could talk ...

That matress will be getting some hot , hot action

An announcement from an over-intoxicated girl to the entire toilet.. ...

You are re pul s ive to th e opposite sex tod ay.. . Concentrate on studying , if you can 't pull at least you'll have a good degree .

"All girls are bitches, we 're all mean to each other. I hate girls. I hate you all, well , not any of you standing round me at the moment of course, but.. ."

A new section covering j uicy conversations overheard in that most glamorous of meeting places-the toilets ...

CoiCfttt Wedensday, February 12, 2003

•• •

E cu

've fallen in love with my best friend's _girl-friend and whenever they have an argument she flirts with me loads. What can I do?

Page 19

ears

We trawl through Concrete's archives to reveal UEA's history

"If he's your best mate you should stay well clear of his girlfriend. People will end up getting hurt, and that includes you ." Clare, EAS2 "Dude, forget about this girl! it's not worth the hassle. Blood is thicker than water, and friends are your family here." Joe, MGT3 "You should tell your mate about the flirting. lt doesn't sound like she cares much for him . But don't even think about seeing her. Friends' girlfriends and boyfriends are always off limits!" Brian, SOC1 "I think she's only flirting with you to make his jealous. What a tart! Don't fall for her evil charms." John, EAS3

Fun

www.concrete-online.co.uk

"I think you should forget about her. When they argue, you should go and get friendly with your mate. Boys are better to have sex with than girls." · Anne, LAW2

"Even if you did get it on with her, you wouldn't be able to trust her because you know what she's like with her boyfriend now. So, just leave her and get on with it." Jonathan, EAS 2

And the alternative advice... "Suggest a menage a trois to your friend. Maybe that will defuse the tension . If it doesn't happen, at least you tried. Mike, SOC1 "If she's offering it up on a plate, it would be rude to say no, wouldn't it!" Atex HIS3

Ten years ago February 17 1993 was a time of turmoil for UEA students, at least if the issue 17 of Concrete is anything to go by. Three stories were granted front-page treatment. Under the main headline of "RAG week a failure" Concrete reported on students' dissatisfaction with recent RAG events. Whereas previous years raised as much as £2000 pounds for charity, 1993 was characterised more by cancellations than fund-raising. The Rag Ball, Blind Date competition and the annual Rag magazine all failed to appear due to lack of interest. Ore of the few events that did take place, a spaghetti eating challenge only managed to find fifteen entrants. Also enjoying mixed fortunes were the Student Union, as they lost two part-time members but gained control of the Waterfront. The venue's previous owner, the Waterfront Trading Company was dissolved leaving £360,000 in debts. Discussing Liz Rice's resignation as Union Publicity Officer (Jim Hickman also resigned from his role as LGB Rights Officer), Communications Officer Richard Hewison memorably said, "lt comes as no surprise that Liz has resigned, because she is right that it is a crap job." In the days before The Event, Concrete's entertainment section, Happenings, boasted an exclusive interview with Jo Brand, then relatively new on the comedy scene. Happenings also managed to give a positive review to much-reviled parents-sucked-into-television 'comedy' Stay Tuned.

Five Years Ago "Hottest Valentine 's Day Ever" announced Concrete's cover on February 18 1998. Lucky students were treated to 63 degrees Fahrenheit, enhancing the day of romantic celebration/despondency/utter indifference (delete as appropriate) . In line with the summery weather, the paper's main story reported on plans for a massive summer ball. "They are very adept at hiding . lt is a question of hit them hard, hit them hard again, and keep hitting them until they disappear", said

Health Official Peter Riborough, meaning Norfolk Terrace's then cockroach problem, rather than UEA's student population in general. This was of scant comfort to the students affected by the shiny black beasts, "it's really scary, they are all creeping around", said resident Kris Mitchell. Obviously more famous then than he is now, The Event devoted two pages to "The Million-Pound Poet" Murray Lachlan Young. Young shot to fame with his collection Casual Sex and Other Verse before releasing an album of performance poetry through EMI. Where he has shot since isn't as clear. In preparation for the Oscars, The Event presented its guide to what should have won. Step forward Austin Powers, The Game, Grosse Pointe Blank and Con Air as the best, and Batman and Robin as the worst.

Last Year Taking a different angle on Concrete's traditional Sex Issue, last year the paper ran an in-depth look at Norwich's red light district. Leading with the quote, "The pimps get the girls addicted to crack. Some of them can use £800 worth in 24 hours. Then they have to work to pay the debt off," the feature provided a more sombre alternative to the usual sex survey. Students were appalled to discover that the Summer Ball had been scheduled during the exam period. However, the Union were keen to point out the fault lay with the Potters Leisure Complex venue, not themselves, as the May 19 date was the only one available. Equally cataclysmic was the decision by Toby.Anstis, reported inside the paper, not to make an appearance at UEA's School Daze. The children's TV presenter decided against turning up after Pat Sharp was attacked at a similar show. Over in The Event, the entertainment section also went for a sex theme, featuring both a look at the world of hardcore pornography and a two-page guide on how to write for Mills and Boon . In the reviews section, Ocean's 11 and The Streets impressed. Beautiful Mind and Jewel received a more cautious response .

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Colcnte Wednesday February 12. 2003

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•

The Real Footballers' • 1ves H

You may have seen the ITV series Footballers' Wives on TV, but have you ever wondered what ifs like to be a real footballer·s wife. Marc Dudley looks into the real life of footballers' wives and finds out that it's not all glamour.

AVE you girls ever dreamed of living it up whilst your soccer star husband earns a small fortune? Perhaps you've dreamed of living like Posh and Becks? Maybe you've longed to be like TV's fictional football 'trophy wife', Chardonnay Lane? However, if you look inside the world of the real life footballing wives, it's not all glitz and glamour. TV's Footballers ' Wives conjures up images of overpaid and oversexed football stars and their brassy, spoilt wives. But the reality is very different, especially fo r journeymen footballers in the lower divisions. Jason Kavanagh plays for Conference side Burton Albion, but his career is nearing an end following a sue-

"I don't think it's particularly real to my life or footballers that I know. lt's entertaining and great to watch but not particularly real," Victoria Beckham cessful stint at Derby County. He and his wife Jo have a very different lifestyle to that of Victo ria and David Beckham. Jo and Jason Kavanagh live comfortably but their party days are over. "Before the kids came along we used to go out lots. Jason played for Derby County when we met, and we went to lots of glamorous functions," says Jo. These days the couple rarely party, and Jason has taken on a second job as a financial adviser whilst Jo works in a local health club. "I wouldn't swap my life with anyone now, not even Chardonnay," she says despite the less glitzy lifestyle.

For most of us football wives conjure up images of Chardonnay or Tanya from the TV series of the same name. Alternatively, they're rich and famous themselves such as pop star Louise, wife of Jamie Redknapp, model missus Adriana Karembeu, who is married to French footballer Christian Karembeu and Victoria 'Posh' Beckham . One thing's for sure, most football wives have one thing in common - they're glamorous. Former Leicester City star Alan Birchenall gives an insight into the romantic opportunities afforded to football superstars. "Let's just say you see lots of ugly footballers but you never see any ugly footballers' wives. The present generation of Premiership players have never had it so good. But as for the image you see joked about on tally, well from my experience in the game since the Sixties, it only applies to a tiny per cent." "Most footballers' wives are nice ordinary people who are very lucky," he concludes.

~ives

n the old days football were nearly always models, 'dolly birds' or smiling 'trophy' wives who were seen but rare ly heard. Today footballers' wives have

independe~l~e~andoftenhavec~ - ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stunning Model and footballers wife, Adriana Karembeu

lege degrees and successful careers of their own. lan Taylor is a high flying player with Premiership side Aston Villa. His wife Tracey is far removed from the old-fashioned stereotype of the footballer's wife. She is certainly no bimbo or airhead, draped over her husband's arm . She runs a successful business, a hair salon in Nottingham, and her feet are firmly on the ground . "I have lots of nice th ings and go to some glamorous events but I think it's important to keep my own independence and work ," she stresses . Tracey is both successful and independent, "I love my job. I see myself as one day having to be th e main bread win ner because footballers ' careers are very short, and if they are injured it's even shorter. I'm already planning for the future". So forget Chardonnay and Posh, and th ink independent women with their own lives and careers. Most footballers' wives are clearly far cleverer than people think. Even Victoria Beckham feels Footballers Wives is a bit far fetched . "Yes. Everyone always asks me about this. I don't think it's particularly real to my life or footballers that I know. it's entertaining and great to watch but not particularly real." Maybe the next step is for women to be taken more seriously on the football field itself? Brazilian World Cup star Ronaldo's wife, Milene Domingues, has just signed up for Atletico Madrid, the best women's team in Spain. She's no stranger to the rigours of fhe professional women 's game, and is said to be fantastically fit. In 1997 she set a new World record for 'keepy uppies', juggling the ball continuously in the air 55,187 times. Her transition from footballing wife to rising soccer star could be the start of a new trend. Who knows, perhaps we 'll see more footballing wives taking up the sport, and copying Milene Domingues' lead in the UK? Soccer playing wives ... now that could be really interesting!

ent Thursday 27 Februa ry 1100-1400 in the LCR PART-TIME, VACATIO N and WO RK EXPERIENCE VACANCIES Real iobs from rea l empl oyers.

\V,,dnndu,·. Feh m u1T 1~.

Concrete

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Soapbox What's best and worst in Sport today... Marc Oudley looks at th e burning iss ues

Loads of Talent, but no money! ··Bri tish >kiing is o n the up" acco rding to winter spo rt s oflici als aft er the w inlcr Ol ymp i<.: s in Sa lt La ke Ci ty last vl!ar. T he C url in g tea m wo n a go ld meda l. A lex Coomber won bro n1.c in the Skel eto n and A lai n Baxtl!r surpri sed e1cryo ne by taken bro n;c . nnl ) to have it taken '" " 'Y frum him due to him not knowi ng he had ta ken an ill ega l substance. it may ha \·e irn pruvcd a lot since Tnvc ll and D<.!a n wo n last Bri tain 's go ld meda l in I 98-t hut we are >til l fa r o fT the re st of the nat i o n ~

111

r:uro pc. The main rea so n for th is is the lack of fund~ in g Ski ing and 1-- - - - - - - - -- - - -- - - - - -- -.JI o ther winh.: r spo rt s g ets ~-.'ll lll parcd 10 tht.:: o the r:-,. Fo r I..! Xarnplc. rno:-,1 o f The Na tio nal Lottery Fund is used o n summe r sporh beca use they fe el Wl! do n' t have th e tak nl o r thl! facil iti es tn co mpete in ihl! worl d o f ski ing . Th ai is a load of rub bish. as lW pro1ed in the Ol ympic s and w ith man: )'tlungl!r at hk tc:-. co mi ng thro ugh. the..' o nly way thl:) . .: an :-, u c c~..·ct.l i., if they get the ncce ssarv backi ng fro m the gn,·ernmc nl. We actually ha\'C ;o.l ) fl1C grL'a l ta le nt in man y o r the dille n.: nl winlcr ... pu rh . A l ~ x Coumbcr dumina tcd the Wo me n \ Ske leto ncircu it la; t yea r " ·inning 70 pL·r ce nt of the ra('c>. and also \\'Il l! a hron1e meda l at Sail Lake C il) . A la in Ba x tc r is stru gg li ng a l the mo ment. bu t is am o ng the 30 b('Sl in thl! W<>rld " hen it CO illL'S In slalo m skiin g and hi s yo unge r bro ther Noel is al;o startin g to im press. Fin lay i\ li ckcl is also imp rcs> ing on the dow nh ill stage and has bee n in the l<J fl 20 o n many occa sions. \Vc a h<l ha1·c G ly nn Pedcrse n. who has Ji, cd in Canada a ll hi s ( li fe . co mpeting for Team GB in Ski -Jump ing events and at the a ge o f 20 is a lre ad y impr~ ~s in g

Footballers confident of place in the final Norj'o lk Ju nior CufJ Se111 i-Finrtl Pret· ielt'.' UEA - Der.1inglw 111 Rm ·ers MARC DUDLEY

Sport s Ed itor

WITH UEA on a hi gh, it looks li ke nothi ng l·an sta nd in t heir w a~ of S l ll' l'l'SS both in th e C u p and lrague. On

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ice and snow seri c>usly.

A c;uick look ut !lt c

BS CLOSE SUCCESS

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MARC DUDLEY Sports Editor

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CoiG'Itl Wednesday, Febnwary 12, 2003

Page 23

•

Swimming Reputation Boosted THE UEA swimming squad swam well in the face of immense competition at the annual BUSA short course Championships in Super Mare last Weston Noember. Swimmers representing around 50 universities were competing to an extremely high standard, some even achieved mealds in the 2002 Commenwealth Games. Eleanor Searle excelled in the butterfly events, gaining a place in the finals for the SOm and lOOm butterfly. She attained 6th place in the SOm final and finsihed 8th in the lOOm. Alex Perrin came close to the final finishing 5th in his lOOm brea~tstroke heat and be also came in 16th in the 200m event, writes Sopllie Hemswonll. ln the relay events the men's team of 1101 Bond, Ben Thomas, Steven Hearnshaw and Alex Perrin finished 33rd overall in the freestyle and 26th in the medley relay. The women team consisting of Zoe Orr, lmogen BellwoodHoward.SOpbie Hemsworth and Becky Neil, took 22nd place overall in the freestyle, whilst the team attained 26th place in the medley relay where Searle replaced Hemsworth. There were many other great individual Performances to make it an all in all successful tournament.

UEA too stylish for the Council The UEA Table Tennis team on the style and gave Norfolk County Council a lesson in bow to play the game last week running out 7-3 winners. Even though it was t11e council's third team, Greg Smith, Bob Ainsley and Hannes Ehlerding showed their skills and won their individual games in style. Maria Nielsdottir was unlucky to lose her matches, as UEA took a 6-2 lead. Nielsdottir and Captain Smith lost narrowly in the first doubles match, but with Eblerding and Ainsley winning theirs, UEA won convincingly 7-3. The win means UEA have won 3 of their last 4 games as they climb into fourth in the local league. t~rned

Hockey boys secure place THE UEA men's hockey team travelled to Bedford to face a very strong De Montfort (Bedford) side in the BUSA League and came back with a well deserved point. UEA played the best they had all season and came back with a very respectable 4-4 draw, which ensures they will remain in the 2nd Dhision neA1 year. Oily Gall, normally a prolific outfield striker played a one off game in goal and produced a number of good saves to keep Bedford at bay. Sam Rye and Tom Bell got two goals each in a ~:ame that UEA easily could han won after dominating much of the game. The whole team performance was outstanding and UEA now have one more game against Coventry thi.~ \\'ednesday before their BUSA season is over.

Two goal lead slips for second time in a week MARC DUDLEY

Sports Editor

The canaries threw away a two goal lead for the second time in two games, as the fight for promotion tightens up in the first division. After failing to stay ahead at home to Stoke City last week, orwich dropped two more points after leading 2-0 at halftime aga in st l st Division strugglers Sheffield Wednesday. On Saturday it all started well as City took the lead on 18 minutes with their first purposeful attack after a cross from Ru ell was laid off by Roberts into the path of David Healy, who hammered in a left-foot shot past Wednesday keeper Pre sman. An unmarked Roberts headed in the second ju t before half-time after a spectacular Healy cross. With Norwich dominating, the goals in the second half from Wednesday's Carl Robinson and Alan Quinn left Norwich feeling cheated of 2 points. They only had themselves to blame though with poor marking from the Canaries led to the first goal. whilst Quinn was allowed to run and fire of his shot from 20 yards without any orwich players trying to close him down.

Nigel Worthington was undertandably very disappointed after hi side squandered a two-goal lead at Hillsborough. "We should have won today and we have dropped two very important points today," said a frustrated Norwich manager. ··we've got to turn to crew when we get into the e positions, but we haven't done that and we must put it right." However. the City boss still thinks there were some po itive things to take from the·game. "I was delighted with the way we played in the fir t half. and our performance in the second half was not bad either. We should have closed them down for their second goal. but we must forget about that and move on now." Asked whether he could put his finger on why City had slipped so alarming over the past I 0 weeks after losing just one of their opening 14 league games Worthington added: " I think it comes from within. The players have got to hold their nerve they've got to stand up and be counted. They proved last season that they had the mental strength to cope with a big challenge - they were superb at Wolves in the play-off semi-final and also did the club proud at Cardiff. They've been there, done that - and now they have to do it again. There are still 17 matches to go and there's everything to play for." It's now 133 days. six defeats and three draws since Norwich last won on their travel , away to Preston on 28th September and they have also

failed to register a league win in 2003. However, orwich will now put league form aside and concentrate on their Fifth Round FA Cup tie at Southampton. The Canaries will be hoping that a win here may give them the boost they need to get their season back on track.

CANARIES ROUNDUP NATIONWIDE LEAGUE, DIVISION ONE (ON 08/02) 1 Portsm'th 2. Le1cester 3. Sheff Utd 4 N Forest S.CITY 6. Reading

Stoke City (H) Shctlicld Wednesday (a)

2-2 2-2

KATHARINE HINDE

AFTER a poor start for all UEA's bowlers in the first game, it looked as if we may have had to go home early. However, after a more succes ful couple of games wilh 200+ games for both Victoria Suuon and Will odes, quali!ication for the second round was secured. Victoria Sutton impressi,dy managed to qualify for the scratch section of the tournament in third place. Ln the handtcap section of the tournament was Will odes and a surpn . ed Gavin eeley. Victoria utton was up against strong oppo iti n. but just scraped through to the final round of the

scratch tournament in fourth place. With her lowest score of the competition and against a 200+ game from her opposition, Victoria Sutton finished the day fourth in the scratch tournament. Meanwhile, Will Nodes produced his highest erie of the day to progress to the final stages of the handicap tournament. Gavin Seeley ended his surprise run and did not manage to qualify for the next tage due to stiff competttion. Where other competitors seemed to show the strain of such a long day, Will Nodes prm ed he could sti 11 produce the goods. With a 256 game to begin the final round, there were no signs of nerYcs . Hts l~t game of 197 secured the Leeds handicap ingles title and meant the UEA ten-pin bowling team got their first trophy of the year.

D L 9 3 7 5 7 7 9 8 10 8 4 11

GD PTS 34 66 22 64 14 52 17 51 13 46 5 46

COMING UP 300 FAC5 300 01 7.45 01

TOP SCORERS Paul McVe1gh 12 lwan Roberts 7 Oav1d Nielsen 6 Mackay, Mulryne 5

Mackay, Roberts Hcaly, Roberts

UEA BOWL OVER COMPETITION

W 19 19 15 14 12 14

t 5/02 Southampton (a) 22/02 Shelf Utd (a) 25/02 Gillingham(a)

NORWICH CITY RESULTS IN THE LAST FORTNIGHT. 01102 08/02

P 31 31 29 31 30 29

• • • • • • • •

OPEN 24 HOURS A DAY 7 DAYS A WEEK 20 Snooker tables 3 pool tables 2 American pool tables Satellite TV Video Games £250 jackpot machines Hot and cold food available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week Licensed bar at low prices 1Oam-11 pm, 12·1 0.30pm Sun

ISTUDENT MEMBERSHIP £1 I St Mary's Plain, Norwich Tel: 627478 Only 5 minutes from Norwich market

•

Union in • • sw1mm1ng blunder With the travel arrangements made and the hotel booking confirmed, the UEA swimmers thought they could sit back and look forward to the BUSA Lon g-Course C hampionships in Sheffield this weekend.

UEA prepare for BUSA finals by winning second place LAST Saturday saw UEA Kortball host a successful tournament for the local teams in the region, and gave UEA the chance to try out all their players in preparation for the BUSA Nationals in March. There were ten tea ms in all co mpeling to be th e best in th e region. UEA's I st team found themsel ves in Group B wi th Cambridge Phoen i x. Lilllcport Lions. Norwich Ci ty 2 and the Universi ty's own th ird team. The secon d team were in group A with th e Sti ngers. orwich City I and 3 and the tou rnament favourites. A t' s K nights. UEA 2 put up a good fi ght in Group A. but didn' t manage to wi n a single game losing 3-8 to the Stingers. 2- 13 to At' s Knights and 3-5 to Norw ich Cit y. The third tea m played well . and actu all y managed to wi n a game over Lill leport L ions (7 -4 ). but still fin shed bollom of their group after losing the other three again st orwi ch Ci ty 2 (4-8).

MARC DUDLEY Sports Editor the Phoeni x (6-9) and the UEA first team {0-1 3). T his meant that since the UEA 2nd and 3rd teams both finished bottom of their groups, they would play eachother in a play-off match for 9th and I Oth place as their final game. T he UEA first team didn ' t put a foot wrong in the group stages winning all their games. Victories over Ca mbridge Phoeni x (8- 1). UEA 3 ( 13-0). Norwich City 2 (8-4 ) and L ittleport L ions (8-3) meant that UEA finished top of their group and could look forward to the fin al aga inst A t's Kni ght. Wi th UEA's spot in the fi nal confirm ed, the 2nd and 3rd team s battled for ninth and tenth posi tion in the tournament . It wasn' t a hard foug ht game with both teams enj oying the sport and playin g so me slick passing. which didn' t always- end up at the attended target. " It was great to see everyone enjoying th e game. which is what we wa nt here at UEA .. said Kate Hennessey.

"Hopeful ly it can enco urage more people to join this wonderfu l sport." Next however. it was more serious as UEA were gelling ready for the fina l against At's Knights. known as the Knight Riders. Coach Baker was contident they cou ld gi ve the Knight s a good game "They may he the favouri tes. but I sti ll think we are in wi th a shout.'' lt didn' t start to well though with onl y I 0 seconds gone on the clock the Knight s wem 1-0 up. and soon they made it 2-0 fro m the free throw. U EA's Baker got one back soon after. but the visi tors then scored twice in quick success ion to take a 4- 1 lead. The ' Fog Horn · scored from the free th row to make i t 2-4. but th at was the closest UEA got. as the Kn ight Riders ran away 11 -3 winners. UEA can now look forward to the BUSA ational Champi onships on March I st, where they can reall y fancy their chances after w inning the Southern Competi tion last year. They arc one of the top seeds, which means they will avoid the hest teams in the group stages, and hopefull y enjoy more success.

However. somehow the Union forgot to book the UEA team into the competition. "We can only apologise for this rare mi,takc. as the application seemed to go missing in all the paper work we have had this week ... said Union Finance Officer M ichellc Pratt. But she reYealcd that although they can' t ent er as a team - they can still have solo efforts. "They can still ~mer individually. but the deadline has pa"cd for e n rcring them as a univcrsily tearn ... UEA swimmer Sophie Hemsworth is understandably upset wi th the whole si tuation. " l just think there has been a lack of organisation this week. and we are all disapoin ted. as we had high hopes for these championships" It is also thought that the Union could ha1e fai led to en ter the A thletics team in to th e Indoor Championships in G lasgow later thi s month.

Rugby victory UEA's women 's rugby team secured their pl ace in the BUSA Midlands 1st Division with a 67-2 win over bottom team Derby. 11 tries were scored in total with Emily Aldous and Marie Bourret getting four each. Bourret also converted six conve rsions.

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