The Perks and Paranoia of Open Relationships

Joseph Collins

Concrete Writer

I think to most people, the pros and cons of an open relationship are obvious. There are several reasons as to why people enjoy open relationships, such as freedom from external influences or just the joy of getting to know new people. Still, the main reason people opt for open relationships is simple: sex with new people is very fun.

Likewise, the cons of an open relationship are self-explanatory. Most people are probably far too jealous to let their partner sleep around.

A close friend once suggested that you cannot love someone if you want to sleep with someone else. In truth, I believed this, at least a little, before being in an open relationship. Wanting to sleep around suggests a lot of possible things about someone, but it does not necessarily mean they don’t love their partner. The experience of learning what it means to love someone, that sex and love are not always the same thing, is a useful and emotionally maturing aspect of open relationships. Some people could not imagine wanting to sleep with someone else besides their partner. But, for those who choose to opt for a more open framework, there is, in fact, a difference between loving someone, and sleeping with someone. open relationship, due to wanting to avoid social stigma.

Additionally, critics, sometimes close friends, sometimes mere acquaintances, have been quick to suggest as to why I

We go to a fairly open-minded university, but I can imagine previous work colleagues or old school friends jeering at the idea of an open relationship; “you let her sleep with other men?” they might say. Not everyone will accept your personal choices, and so, certain people might be put off being in an

Are you in a relationship?

Yes- 53% No- 37%

It's complicated- 10%

Would you describe yourself as monogomous?

Yes- 77% No- 11%

Maybe- 12% my experience, these people seem to have rather a lot to say. Such an experience may be slightly jarring at best, and seriously uncomfortable at worst; it’s not always pleasant for people to make broad assumptions about your life choices.

Jealousy is a normal part of the human condition.

I think people in open relationships are probably less jealous than the average person, but all the same, I have known issues of jealousy arise in open relationships.

A friend once said to me: “she was quite jealous of who I’d been sleeping with, so I asked her if she wanted to be exclusive.” might choose to be in an open relationship. And while they are of course, free to make their own judgement, from

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I asked – “well, what did she say?” They replied –“that she’d prefer to stay open, and try and work through such feelings”.

That’s a perspective many people could learn from.