#/.#2%4% 7EDNESDAY ND -AY
5%!gS )NDEPENDENT .EWSPAPER
#!229 /. .523).'
)SSUE
2EADERS 2EADY 4IRED OF THE S .O WAY 7EgRE TALK ING SHELLS SUITS SPANDEX AND SHAG BANDS
%VENT /H 5%! IS 7ONDERFUL 2EMEBER THE GOLD POST BOXES 9ES "RILL NOW LETgS JOG YOUR MEMORY ON A FEW OTHER THINGS
&EATURES
&OOD
(OW 4O 6OTE 6OTING HAS NEVER SEEMED SO MUCH FUN %NQUIRER
*ACK #LARK $UE TO A REDUCTION IN FUNDING BY THE 3TRATEGIC (EALTH !UTHORITY THE 3CHOOL OF .URSING AND -IDWIFERY .!- IS BEING FORCED TO PUT A CAP ON INTAKE AND LET GO STAFF EQUIVA LENT TO FULL TIME POSTS +ATE 'UYON DEAN OF .!- AN TICIPATES THAT hSTAFF MORALE WILL BE BADLY AFFECTED n STUDENTS TOO n AS THEY GRIEVE FOR THEIR COLLEAGUES AND LECTURERS v 4HIS COMES AT A TIME WHEN THE INTAKE IS ALREADY UNDER lNANCIAL STRESS FROM THE RE CENTLY INCREASED TUITION FEES 4HIS IS HAPPENING DUE TO THE GOVERNMENT MISMANAGEMENT $URING THE .(3 WAITING LIST CRISES THAT MADE HEADLINES A FEW YEARS AGO THE GOVERNMENT INCREASED STAFF TO SPEED THE TRAINING OF NEW
NURSES 4HE SHORT TERM GAIN WAS THE REDUCTION IN WAITING TIMES WHICH THE COUNTRY IS CURRENTLY SUPPOSEDLY EXPERIENCING 4HE LONG TERM GAIN n IT SEEMS n WILL NOT MATERIALISE FOR STUDENT NURSES OR FOR THAT MATTER THEIR TEACHERS 'UYON BELIEVES THAT THE lRINGS ARE DUE TO EDUCATION BUDGETS THAT hWERE RAIDED TO MEET .(3 DElCITS v 3HE GOES ON TO SAY THAT THE .(3 hSEEMS UNABLE TO PLAN HEALTH CARE WORKFORCE WITHOUT BUST AND BOOM EVENTS v &UNDING FOR .!- IS PREDOMI NANTLY VIA AN .(3 CONTRACT WITH THE 3TRATEGIC (EALTH !UTHORITY 5%! DOES NOT SPECIlCALLY FUND ANYTHING AND ITS lNANCIAL ROLE IS A MINOR ONE .ONETHELESS IT WAS REVEALED THAT THE 5NIVERSITY USED RESERVE FUNDS IN TO KEEP STAFF EM PLOYED THAT WOULD OTHERWISE HAVE BEEN LET GO (OWEVER IT WAS JUST A STOPGAP MEASURE AND THIS YEAR
n WITH GREATER CUTS IN FUNDING n IT S BEING FORCED TO RESTRUCTURE /N THE TH OF -ARCH 'UY ON CIRCULATED A LETTER TO ALL .!STUDENTS INFORMING THEM OF THE CHANGES 3HE MADE IT CLEAR THAT hRE STRUCTURING WILL BE DONE ON THE BA SIS OF HOW TO MAKE SURE THE SCHOOL WILL WORK IN THE FUTURE v 4ESSA .ORTH ACADEMIC OFlCER STRESSES THAT 5%! DID NOT SAY hOH WE DON T FEEL LIKE SPENDING MONEY ON .!SO YOU RE GOING TO HAVE TO LET STAFF GO v 4HE REDUNDANCY COMMITTEE WILL MEET IN !PRIL -AY AND *UNE DURING WHICH IT WILL CARRY OUT IN TERVIEWS AND MATCH STAFF TO POSTS 4HERE WILL BE A COUNCIL MEETING TO RATIFY THE DECISIONS IN *ULY AND IF AGREED THE NOTICE PERIODS WILL COM MENCE FROM THAT POINT 'IVEN THE CHANGEABILITY OF GOVERNMENT FUNDING IT IS IMPOS
SIBLE TO PREDICT THE EFFECT THAT THE RESTRUCTURING WILL HAVE IN THE LONG TERM BUT IN THE SHORT TERM IT IS CER TAIN THAT .!- WILL BE DESTABILISED DURING THE EXAM PERIOD 4HE EFFECT OF HAVING THE TEACHING STAFF UNDER PRESSURE n THEY WILL BE CONCERNED ABOUT THEIR JOBS MAY EFFECT TEACH ING QUALITY POSING RISKS TO FUTURE PATIENTS OF THE TRAINEE NURSES !NDREW "LAKESLEY CHAIR OF THE .!- STUDENT COUNCIL WAS SO WOR RIED BY THE CUTS THAT HE WROTE A LETTER TO 4ONY "LAIR APPEALING FOR MORE FUNDING 4HE LETTER OPENED WITH h) WRITE TO YOU IN DARK AND ANXIOUS TIMES WHERE MORALE IS LOWv AND WENT ON TO VOICE WORRIES OVER THE QUALITY OF TEACHING AND THE STUDENT EXPERIENCE (E POINTED OUT THAT ,ORD (UNT S REPORT WHICH FEATURED IN THE .URSING 3TANDARD hSTATED A PROPOSED INCREASE IN #ONTINUED ON
3URFgS 5P #ONCRETE GOES TO #ORNWALL
4RAVEL
.URSING AND -IDWIFERY FORCED TO DOWN SIZE AFTER GOVERNMENT CUT BACKS
/H WE DO LIKE TO BE BESIDE THE SEASIDE 4URF
#/.#2%4%
7EDNESDAY ND -AY
.%73 .URSING SCHOOL UNDER THREAT #ONTINUED FROM EDUCATIONAL TRAINING FOR STUDENT NURSES BY v 4HIS lGURE JARS WITH THE NEWS OF CUTS AT 5%! )T SEEMS THAT THE CUTS ARE A NE CESSITY WHICH HAS TRANSPIRED DUE TO 'OVERNMENT MISMANAGEMENT OF FUNDS (OWEVER THE DECISION TO RE STRUCTURE OVER THE EXAM PERIOD MAY EFFECT EXAM RESULTS )N THE LONG TERM 'UYON WORRIES THAT hA SHORTAGE OF REGISTERED HIGHLY COMPETENT NURSES IN COULD MEAN THAT .OR FOLK WILL NOT HAVE ENOUGH NURSES TO CARE FOR THE GROWING ELDERLY POPU LATION v "LAKESLEY BELIEVES HIS hLAST YEAR OF TRAINING WILL BE GREATLY COM PROMISED v
$ISRUPTION #ONTINUES AT #ONSTABLE 4ERRACE 2ICHARD 2EYNOLDS $EPUTY .EWS %DITOR )T WAS REPORTED AT THE LAST 5NION #OUNCIL MEETING OF TERM THAT THE ISSUE lRST RAISED IN #ONCRETE ON /CTOBER TH REGARDING THE BUILDING WORK AROUND #ONSTABLE 4ERRACE HAS NOT ONLY CONTINUED BUT IS THOUGHT BY SOME TO BE GETTING WORSE )T IS CLAIMED BY SOME RESIDENTS OF #ONSTABLE 4ERRACE THAT WORK IS STARTING AS EARLY AT AM 4HIS IS A QUARTER OF AN HOUR BEFORE THE BUILD ERS ARE ALLOWED TO START ACCORDING TO THEIR AGREEMENT WITH THE 5NIVERSITY 7ITH EXAMS COMING UP AND HAVING SUFFERED A YEAR S WORTH OF DISRUPTION
RESIDENTS OF #ONSTABLE 4ERRACE ARE STILL TO SEE ANY SIGN OF A REFUND LIKE THAT ACCORDED TO THEIR PEERS LIVING IN OTHER RESIDENCES WITH BUILDING WORK NEARBY 4HE %XECUTIVE AGREED AT THE MEET ING TO LOOK INTO IT 5NFORTUNATELY THE 7ELFARE /FlCER WAS NOT IN ATTEND ANCE AND SO WAS UNABLE TO ANSWER QUESTIONS DIRECTLY 0REVIOUSLY *ENNY "ALLARD $IREC TOR OF THE 2ESIDENCES AND 3ERVICES $I VISION SAID hNOISY BUILDING WORK AT #ONSTABLE 4ERRACE WILL BE OF A LIMITED AND OF A RELATIVELY SHORT DURATION v (OWEVER STUDENTS WHO HAVE NOW ENDURED NEARLY A FULL ACADEMIC YEAR OF DISRUPTION AND WHO ARE NOW FAST APPROACHING THEIR EXAMS ARE GROWING INCREASINGLY ANGRY WITH THE SITUATION
#ARS SMASHED AS 6ILLAGE SPACES GO FREE
6ICTORIA ,EGGETT ,OCAL YOUTHS REGULARLY VANDALISE CARS PARKED ON 7ILBERFORCE 2OAD OUT SIDE THE 5NIVERSITY 6ILLAGE )N 7EEK THIS REACHED A NEW LEVEL WHEN lVE PARKED CARS HAD THEIR WINDOWS SMASHED IN 4HE POLICE WERE CALLED BY ONE OF THE OWNERS TO INVESTIGATE 4HIS IS NOT AN ISOLATED INCIDENT 6ANDALISM ALONG THIS STRETCH OF ROAD HAS BEEN HAPPENING FOR A LONG TIME 3MASHED GLASS CAN OFTEN BE SEEN ON THE PAVEMENT NEAR THE 6ILLAGE !T LEAST TWO OTHER CARS HAD THEIR WINDOWS SMASHED OVER THE %ASTER BREAK
5%! STUDENT ,ISA 7IFlN 0SYCHO SOCIAL 3CIENCES HAS BEEN A VICTIM TWICE h/N TWO SEPERATE OCCASIONS MY CAR GOT VANDALISED JUST OUTSIDE OF THE 5NIVERSITY GROUNDS AND THE DAMAGE COST ME OVER a v
h
/N TWO SEPARATE OCCASIONS MY CAR GOT VANDALISED JUST OUTSIDE OF THE UNI VERSITY GROUNDS
v
4HE DAMAGE IS NOT ONLY COSTING STUDENTS MONEY BUT IS ALSO MAK ING THEM FEEL UNSAFE %DDIE 3HIELDS LIVES IN THE 5NIVERSITY 6ILLAGE (E SAID h)T S QUITE SCARY WALKING ALONG 7ILBERFORCE 2OAD AFTER DARK KNOWING
THAT THERE ARE GANGS IN THE AREA v 4HERE IS LITTLE SECURITY ALONG THIS STRETCH OF ROAD (OWEVER EVEN WITHIN THE 6ILLAGE WHERE ##46 IS IN OPERATION CRIME STILL TAKES PLACE %DDIE 3HIELDS HAS EXPERIENCED IT lRST HAND h) LOST A BIKE AT THE START OF THE YEAR ALONG WITH A LOT OF OTHER PEO PLE v 7ITH SO LITTLE FREE PARKING AVAIL ABLE TO 5%! STUDENTS THERE IS LITTLE CHOICE BUT TO PARK THEIR CARS ALONG THIS CLEARLY UNSAFE ROAD &REE PARK ING SPACES WITHIN THE 5NIVERSITY 6IL LAGE ARE RESERVED FOR DISABLED DRIV ERS WHILST THE CREATION OF @PERMIT ONLY AREAS ALONG NEARBY &RIENDS 2OAD A FEW YEARS AGO HAS CONSIDER ABLY REDUCED THE NUMBER OF SPACES AVAILABLE TO STUDENTS
6IEW AUDITION SUPPORT ON NIGHT 4HE 6IEW CALLED FOR LOCAL BANDS TO PLAY WITH THEM WHEN THEIR SUPPORT PULLED OUT
.EWS )N "RIEF
4HE 6IEW
6# S CORPORATE PLAN UNVEILED ! DRAFT VERSION OF THE 5NIVERSITY S NEW CORPORATE PLAN WAS UNVEILED TO STAFF BY THE 6# ON &RIDAY !PRIL 4HIS PLAN WHILE STILL AT THE CONSUL TATION PHASE LAYS OUT SOME OF THE IDEAS FOR HOW 5%! SHOULD BE RUN IN THE NEXT lVE YEARS )T CALLS FOR RADICAL CHANGES IN THE WAY THE 5NI VERSITY LOOKS AT THE FUNDING OF ITS ACADEMIC SCHOOLS 3OME SCHOOLS WHICH CURRENTLY MAKE YEAR ON YEAR LOSSES ARE KEPT AmOAT THROUGH CENTRAL 5NIVERSITY FUNDS (OWEVER WITH ALL ROUND lNANCIAL TIGHTENING THEY CAN NO LONGER EXPECT TO HAVE THIS SUPPORT )N WHAT IT TERMS @4HE 3USTAIN ABLE 5NIVERSITY IT CALLS FOR EVERY SCHOOL TO BALANCE THEIR BOOKS WITH IN lVE YEARS OR THEY COULD POTEN TIALLY FACE LAYOFFS OR CLOSURE (OWEVER SOME ALLOWANCE WILL BE MADE FOR DIFFERENT SCHOOLS TO CROSS SUBSIDISE EACH OTHER WHERE THEY SEE THIS AS USEFUL
*OHN -UTCH 4HE 6IEW CALLED UPON LOCAL BANDS AFTER THEIR SUPPORT PULLED OUT JUST HOURS PRIOR TO THEIR GIG AT THE ,#2 ON -ARCH 4HE (ORRORS WHO HAVE A HABIT OF MISBEHAVING ON TOURS GAVE THE 3COTTISH QUARTET JUST HOURS TO lND SUITABLE COVER !PPEALING VIA AN URGENT PRESS ANNOUNCEMENT 4HE 6IEW INVITED .ORWICH BANDS TO DROP OFF DEMOS AT THEIR TOUR BUS OUTSIDE THE 5NI VERSITY ,OCAL RADIO STATIONS PICKED UP ON THE STORY AND ENCOURAGED THE UNSIGNED BANDS OF .ORWICH TO GET INVOLVED 4HE 6IEW WERE AMAZED AT THE RESPONSE COLLECTING SOME TAPES FROM HOPEFUL ARTISTS DURING THE DAY )NSPIRED BY THEIR OWN BIG BREAK WHICH CAME AFTER DROPPING OFF A DEMO AT 0ETE $OHERTY S TOUR BUS THE CHART TOPPING INDIE OUTlT THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A GOOD WAY OF RETURNING THE FAVOUR 5NDERSTANDING THE IMPORTANCE OF GIVING NEW BANDS A CHANCE 4HE
4HE -ONROES
6IEW S LEAD GUITARIST 0ETER 2EILLY TOLD ""# NEWS h)T S GOOD TO GIVE A BAND A CHANCE THERE S ALWAYS ROOM TO lT A BAND ON YOUR BILLv
!FTER DRAFTING A SHORTLIST OF PO TENTIAL CANDIDATES 4HE 6IEW lNALLY SETTLED ON THREE PIECE BAND 4HE -ONROES 4HE BAND WHO DESCRIBE THEMSELVES AS INDIE WITH SKA AND REGGAE INmUENCES ARE MADE UP OF THREE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD .ORWICH STUDENTS LED BY SINGER *AMIE $E LANEY 4HEY ARE ALREADY RELATIVELY WELL KNOWN ON THE .ORWICH MUSIC SCENE HAVING BEEN REGULAR PERFORM ERS FOR SOME TWO YEARS NOW PLAYING AT LOCATIONS SUCH AS THE .ORWICH !RTS #ENTRE AND 4HE 1UEEN #HAR LOTTE PUB 4HE 6IEW S MANAGER 'RANT $ICK SON TOOK THE OPPORTUNITY TO PRAISE THE .ORWICH MUSIC SCENE TELLING THE ""# h4HE STANDARD SO FAR IS RE ALLY HIGH 7E ARE QUITE AMAZINGLY SURPRISED AT HOW MANY GOOD BANDS ARE AROUNDv 3EEMINGLY UNNERVED BY THE BIG OCCASION 4HE -ONROES WERE SAID TO HAVE hGONE DOWN VERY WELL ON THE NIGHTv ACCORDING TO .ICK 2AYNS 5NION %NTERTAINMENTS -ANAGER 9OU CAN WATCH 4HE -ONROES PERFORM AT THE ,#2 ON THE BANDS WEBSITE AT MYSPACE COM MON ROES
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7EDNESDAY ND -AY
.%73 .%853 WINS @"!&4! /N -ARCH .EXUS 546 ATTENDED THE .ATIONAL 3TUDENT 4ELEVISION !WARDS IN #OVENTRY (AILED AS THE @3TUDENT "!&4!S THE THREE DAY AWARD CEREMONY CELEBRATES THE BEST STUDENT PRODUCTIONS FROM 46 STATIONS ACROSS THE 5+ AND IS JUDGED BY A PANEL OF INDUSTRY PRO FESSIONALS 4HIS YEAR .EXUS ENTERED FOR OF THE CATEGORIES AND PROUDLY WALKED AWAY WITH TWO (IGHLY #OMMENDED AWARDS 4HE lRST OF OUR AWARDS WENT TO THE MUSIC SHOW @2EVERB PRODUCED BY -AX "LABER AND #HARLI #ARLTON WHILST THE SEC OND WAS AWARDED FOR BEST @-USIC TO 6IDEO PRODUCED BY +EVIN 3IMMS .EXT YEAR S AWARDS ARE TO BE HELD IN ,EICESTER AND .EXUS WILL BE THERE TO GAIN EVEN MORE AWARDS
)NCOMING
3QUALLOR IN THE 3QUARE .ATASHA +UNDAIKER 4HERE IS NOTHING BETTER THAN SITTING IN THE 3QUARE ON A HOT SUNNY DAY WHETHER IT IS JUST RELAXING WITH YOUR MATES OR HAVING A QUIET DRINK IN THE SUN (OWEVER AS SOON AS STUDENTS LEAVE THE GROUND IS STREWED WITH GLASSES NON BIODEGRADABLE RUBBISH AND GENERAL LITTER THAT LOOKS MORE LIKE WHAT WOULD BE FOUND AT THE END OF THE 'LASTONBURY FESTIVAL RATHER AT IN A UNIVERSITY /NE STUDENT NOTED THAT h%VEN THOUGH THERE ARE AMPLE BINS AROUND PEOPLE ARE JUST TOO LAZY TO GET UP AND PUT THEIR RUBBISH IN THE BIN )T S DISGUSTING AND JUST PUTS A DAMPENER ON SITTING IN THE 3QUARE v (OWEVER THE PROBLEM IS NOT JUST LIMITED TO THE 3QUARE THE SAME
AMOUNT OF LITTER GETS DEPOSITED ON THE LAWNS OUTSIDE .ELSON #OURT AND NEAR THE LAKE WHEN PEOPLE SUNBATHE OR HAVE BARBEQUES 4HIS HAS CAUSED SOME MAJOR PROBLEMS WITHIN THE 5NION NOT SIMPLY DUE TO THE LARGE AMOUNT OF LITTER BUT ALSO THE HEALTH AND SAFETY ISSUES WHEN GLASSES FROM THE 5NION
PUB HAVE BEEN LEFT ON THE STEPS AND SUBSEQUENTLY BEEN BROKEN 4HIS PROBLEM DOES NOT JUST RELATE TO STUDENT HEALTH AND SAFETY BUT ALSO HAS IMPLICATIONS FOR THE VAST NUMBER OF ANIMALS AROUND CAMPUS AS THERE ARE EVIDENT ISSUES WITH THE PLASTIC LITTER WHICH HAS INCLUDED SHOPPING BAGS AND PLASTIC
BEER RINGS 4HE LITTER CAN BE CON SUMED BY ANIMALS AND CAUSE THEM TO CHOKE 4HE 5NION HAVE SUGGESTED EXTRA EMPTYING OF BINS ADDITIONAL CLEAN ING AND EVEN LITTERING CAMPAIGNS IN THE FORM OF POSTERS STATING THAT hIF YOU ARE THE lRST PERSON TO DROP LITTER YOU ARE MUCH LESS LIKELY TO DO IT THAN IF YOU ARE THE lFTIETH v )T HAS ALSO BEEN SUGGESTED THAT COMMU NITY SERVICE COULD BE INTRODUCED WITH TASKS SUCH AS LITTER COLLECTION FOR STUDENTS CAUGHT FOR MINOR MIS DEMEANOURS (OWEVER THE BURDEN MUST LIE WITH US )T IS EVIDENT THAT THE STUDENT BODY ARE CONCERNED WITH THE ENVIRONMENT AND RECYCLING AND IT IS UP TO STUDENTS TO TACKLE THE PROBLEM THEMSELVES )F EACH PERSON CAN PICK UP JUST PIECE OF LITTER PER DAY IT WILL MAKE A HUGE DIFFERENCE IN KEEPING THE 3QUARE CLEAN
%GG THROWING YOUTHS CONTINUE TO ATTACK STUDENTS AS THEY WALK HOME ON %ARLHAM ROAD #ONCRETE lRST RE PORTED ON THIS WHEN 5NION &INANCE /FlCER %DDIE 3HIELDS WAS HIT IN A hSENSITIVE SPOTv BY THE SAME GROUP !S YET THESE YOUTHS HAVE NOT BEEN CAUGHT SO WATCH OUT AS MORE EGGY EXPERIENCES MAY BE ON THE WAY 2E CENT REPORTS INDICATE THEY ARE NOW DOING THIS IN BROAD DAYLIGHT IF ANYONE CAN HELP CATCH THEM RING THE POLICE ON
&ACEBOOK PARTY QUASHING *OHN -UTCH &ACEBOOK IS THE LATEST WEAPON USED BY SECURITY AND POLICE FORCES TO RAID STUDENT PARTIES 4HE TREND BEGAN IN THE 53 WHERE POLICE HAVE ALREADY GATECRASHED COUNTLESS PARTIES AFTER DISCOVERING PLANS USING THE ONLINE SOCIAL NET WORKING SERVICE .OW STUDENTS FEAR THAT THIS TAC TIC IS BEING ADOPTED BY 5%! SECURITY WITH THE GROUP @(EY 5%! SECURITY CALM THE F DOWN AND STOP SNOOP ING ON &ACEBOOK HIGHLIGHTING INCI DENTS WHERE THEY THINK THE ONLINE NETWORK MAY HAVE FORE WARNED THEM OF PARTIES /NE COMMENT ON THIS GROUP STATES A hSMALL GET TOGETHER IN HONOUR OF !NDY S BIRTHDAY AT "LOCK & SWELLS TO A JOLLY FESTIVAL #AMPUS SECURITY COMES TO KNOCK IT DOWN AND SEEKS OUT !NDY SPECIlCALLY TO TELL HIM TO SHUT IT DOWN 4HEY KNEW WHAT !NDY LOOKED LIKE AND WENT STRAIGHT TO HIM #REEPY TO ANYONE ELSE v 4HE PROBLEM IS PARTICULARLY PER TINENT IN THE 53 AS MOST STATES EN FORCING A MINIMUM DRINKING AGE OF ENCOURAGES STUDENTS TO LOOK TO HOUSE PARTIES FOR ALCOHOL "UT WITH
DRUG ABUSE RIPE IN PARTIES ACROSS THE 5+ SOME PREDICT IT IS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME BEFORE THE POLICE START CRASH ING THE 5+ HOUSE PARTY SCENE 7ITH &ACEBOOK FEATURING MORE AND MORE IN THE LIVES OF STUDENTS IT HAS BECOME ALMOST MANDATORY TO CREATE AN @EVENT IN ACCORDANCE WITH ANY NOTABLE FORTHCOMING SOCIAL OC CASION $UE TO THE EVER INCREASING FUNC TIONALITY OF THE SOCIAL NETWORKER EVERY STUDENT ORGANISED SOCIAL EVENT SCHEDULED INTO THE SYSTEM INCLUD ING ITS LOCATION IS NOW AVAILABLE TO VIEW AT THE CLICK OF A MOUSE 4HIS HAS ALSO INCREASED CONCERNS IN THE SAFETY OF 5%! STUDENTS PARTICULARLY FOR ALL GIRL HOUSES WHICH COULD ORGANISE A SMALL GET TOGETHER WITH FRIENDS ONLY TO lND TROUBLE MAKERS TURNING UP ON THEIR DOORSTEP 53 BASED &ACEBOOK GROUPS SUCH AS @3TOP ,ETTING THE #OPS +NOW !BOUT 0ARTIES ON &ACEBOOK HAVE SPRUNG UP TO WARN FELLOW STUDENTS ABOUT THE RISKS OF ADVERTISING PARTIES ONLINE 4HEY SHOULD HOWEVER BE WARY ABOUT CREATING @PUBLIC EVENTS AND INCLUDING ANY PERSONAL DETAILS LIKE ADDRESSES )F YOU ARE CONCERNED ABOUT GATE CRASHERS ON CAMPUS PHONE SERCURITY ON
'RAD "ALL CONTENTION
#ASSANDRA #AVALLARO 4HE SUMMER TERM IS IN FULL SWING AND FOR MANY STUDENTS THIS IS THE lNAL FAREWELL TO 5%! )T IS LESS THAN THREE MONTHS UNTIL THE #LASS OF GRADUATES SO THOUGHTS ARE TURNING TO THE 'RADUATION "ALL WHEN STUDENTS WILL GET DECKED OUT IN THEIR lNEST ATTIRE AND SPEND ONE lNAL EVENING TOGETHERxIN THE ,#2 !LTHOUGH THE ,#2 HAS LONG BEEN THE TRADITIONAL VENUE FOR THE 'RADU ATION "ALL THIS YEAR IT HAS PROVEN CONTROVERSIAL ! &ACEBOOK GROUP WAS STARTED BY #OMMUNICATIONS /FlCER &RANCIS (AMLYN TO lND OUT WHAT SORT OF AT TRACTIONS GRADUATES WANTED TO SEE AT THEIR BALL BUT THE REACTION BY SOME PEOPLE WAS FAR FROM ENTHUSIASTIC #RITICISMS OF THE USE OF THE ,#2 FOR
SUCH A SPECIAL OCCASION WERE JUST THE BEGINNING STUDENTS ALSO BALKED AT THE TICKET PRICES WHICH STAND AT a FOR A BASIC TICKET AND a FOR A PLATINUM TICKET ! RIVAL GROUP WAS SET UP VOWING TO LOOK INTO OTHER VENUES FOR NEXT YEAR S BALL AND AN ANTI GRADUATION BALL IS REPORTEDLY BEING ORGANISED AT A NON 5NION VENUE $ESPITE THE CYNICISM OF SOME MANY STUDENTS AROUND CAMPUS WERE MORE OPTIMISTIC .ICOLA 3PRING !-3 SAID h) WAS AGAINST IT AT lRST BUT EVERYONE WHO HAS BEEN SAYS IT S REALLY GOOD SO ) M WILLING TO GIVE IT A CHANCEv 4HE ,#2 IS ONE OF THE FEW VENUES NEARBY THAT CAN ACCOM MODATE THE NEARLY TWO THOUSAND GRADUATES AND IS OF COURSE CHEAPER THAN USING AN OUTSIDE VENUE A SAV ING THAT IS PASSED ON TO STUDENTS 7HILST THE ,#2 IS NOT THE lRST CHOICE FOR MANY OTHERS BELIEVE THAT IT IS A lTTING PLACE TO SAY GOODBYES h)T HAS BEEN THE ONE CONSTANT FEATURE OF
LIFE AT 5%! AND HOME TO LOADS OF HAPPY MEMORIES v SAID 3TEVE 2OB INSON !-3 3OME STUDENTS EVEN SEEMED RESIGNED TO THE COST AS 3AM -ORRAD 03) COMMENTED hGRADU ATION WEEK IS ALWAYS GOING TO BE EXPENSIVE BUT YOU ONLY DO IT ONCE 9OU JUST HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT IT S ALL ABOUT BEING WITH YOUR FRIENDSv .OBODY WAS MORE EMPHATIC ABOUT THE VENUE THAN &RANCIS WHO HAS BEEN TO THREE PREVIOUS 'RADU ATION "ALLS (E IS NOT CONCERNED BY THE COMPLAINTS SAYING hIT S THE SAME EVERY YEAR BUT ) CAN GIVE EVE RYONE MY WORD THAT IT WILL BE ONE OF THE BEST NIGHTS OF YOUR LIFEv 4HE 'RADUATION "ALL IS ON *ULY AND ANY 5%! STUDENT CAN ATTEND REGARD LESS OF YEAR !LTHOUGH DETAILS HAVE NOT YET BEEN lNALISED GRADUATING STUDENTS CAN EXPECT ATTRACTIONS SUCH AS A JAZZ BAND A FERRIS WHEEL GROUP PHOTOGRAPHS A CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN AND THE DAZZLING SPECTACLE OF lRE WORKS OVER THE LAKE
7EDNESDAY ND -AY #/.#2%4%
.%73
#LUBS 3OCIETIES !UTONOMY 5NDER &IRE .EW AND /LD 3OCIETIES /FlCERS *OIN #ALL &OR 2ETHINK 2ICHARD 2EYNOLDS $EPUTY .EWS %DITOR 4HE 5NION -ANAGEMENT AND %XECUTIVE COMMITTEES RECENTLY VOTED TO CREATE A NEW POSITION OF !DVERTISING 3ALES 0ERSON 4HE hPURPOSE OF THE POSTv IS hTO CO ORDINATE SPONSORSHIP PROMOTIONS AND THE SELLING OF ADVERTISING IN THE 5NION S MEDIA 4HE !DVERTISING 3ALES 0ERSON WILL ALSO ARRANGE ALL ADVERTISING AND SPONSORSHIP FOR 5NION CLUBS AND SOCIETIES &RANCIS (ANLYM THE 5NION #OMMUNICATIONS /FlCER EXPLAINED h4HE POSITION OF !DVERTISING 3ALES 0ERSON AT THE 5NION COULD POTENTIALLY LOCATE A SOURCE OF INCOME FOR THE STUDENTS OF 5%! WHICH HAD PREVIOUSLY REMAINED UNTAPPED v 4HIS POSITION WILL TAKE OVER THE JOB NORMALLY lLLED BY CLUB OR SOCIETY COMMITTEE MEMBERS OR OTHER APPOINTEES OF RAISING ADDITIONAL MONEY 4HIS MONEY IS ON TOP OF WHAT THEY RECEIVE FROM THEIR 5NION GRANT -OST CLUBS AND SOCIETIES DO NOT RAISE MONEY THROUGH EITHER ADVERTS OR SPONSORSHIP BUT SOME CLUBS
SUCH AS -EN S 2UGBY ARE MOVING TOWARDS THIS IN AN ATTEMPT TO RAISE THEIR GAME #ONCRETE FOR INSTANCE HAS TO FUND ALL ITS PRINTING COSTS OF a AN ISSUE AS WELL AS PHONE CALLS REPROGRAPHICS AND DISTRIBUTION OUT OF THIS MONEY n THE 5NION DOES NOT PAY FOR ANY OF THIS -ANY SOCIETIES MAY NOT WANT TO CARRY ADVERTISING OR AS IN THE CASE OF #ONCRETE HAVE SPECIlC POSITIONS WHICH ALREADY DO THIS WORK ON A COMMISSION ONLY BASIS )N FACT CURRENTLY #ONCRETE RAISE THE MONEY IN HOUSE 4HE 3OCIETY WOULD LIKE TO RETAIN THEIR OWN !DVERTISING -ANAGER 4HE DECISION WHICH WAS ORIGINALLY SUPPOSED TO BE IMPLEMENTED BEFORE THE SUMMER BREAK APPEARS TO BE A MATTER OF SOME DISAGREEMENT !NDY *UDSON WHO WAS ON THE EXECUTIVE AT THE TIME OF THE DECISION AND IS NOW 3OCIETIES /FlCER TOLD #ONCRETE HE HAS WIDE RANGING CONCERNS WITH BOTH THE NATURE AND IMPLEMENTATION OF THIS ROLE h/BVIOUSLY IN MY POSITION ) THINK IT S VITAL THAT SOCIETIES BE ALLOWED TO MAINTAIN THEIR AUTONOMY WHEREVER POSSIBLE ) DO NOT THINK THE %XEC WHEN THEY MADE THE ORIGINAL DECISION WERE
PROPERLY INFORMED ON IT SO IT MUST BE COMPLETELY RE ASSESSED 4HIS IS NOT TO SAY IT IS NECESSARILY A BAD IDEA BUT AS ALWAYS THE DEVIL IS IN THE DETAIL v #ONCRETE UNDERSTANDS THAT THE PLAN AT THE MOMENT IS CLUBS AND SOCIETIES CANNOT EXPECT TO GAIN DIRECTLY THE MONEY FROM ANY SPONSORSHIP OR ADVERTISING THEY CARRY INSTEAD THE MONEY WILL GO INTO CENTRAL 5NION FUNDS )T IS NOT ONLY THE MEDIA SOCIETIES WHO ARE CONCERNED HOWEVER THE CAPTAIN OF THE WOMENS RUGBY TEAM SAID h3PORTS CLUBS WILL LOOSE THEIR INDIVIDUALITY BE COMMERCIALISED AND BE TURNED INTO WALKING BILLBOARDS !LSO WE VE BEEN PROMISED EXTRA MONEY BEFORE BUT THIS NEVER MATERIALISED v 7HILE THE INTENTION WAS CLEARLY TO GO AHEAD WITH HIRING THE !DVERTISING 3ALES 0ERSON WHEN #ONCRETE TRIED TO HIRE ITS OWN !DVERTISING -ANAGER THREATS WERE MADE TO lRE THE %DITOR 4HE CURRENT !DVERTISING -ANAGER OF CONCRETE EXPRESSED HER CONCERNS h4HIS MOVE WOULD RESULT IN #ONCRETE LOSING A VALUABLE WORK EXPERIENCE ROLE AND COULD MAKE IT COMPLETELY lNANCIALLY DEPENDANT ON THE 5NION WHICH COULD ENDANGER ITS
EDITORIAL INDEPENDENCE v 7HEN #ONCRETE TRIED TO TALK TO OTHER STUDENT SOCIETIES ABOUT THE !DVERTISING 3ALES 0ERSON HOWEVER VERY FEW IF ANY KNEW ABOUT IT .ICK +ENT THE EX 3OCIETIES OFlCER AND ALSO EX #HAIR OF THE %XECUTIVE TOLD #ONCRETE THE FOLLOWING h)T REALLY IS A SHAME THAT THIS SITUATION HAS ARISEN -Y UNDERSTANDING OF THE DECISION TAKEN WAS THAT THE EXECUTIVE WAS IN FAVOUR OF THE APPOINTMENT OF AN !DVERTISING 3ALES 0ERSON AS LONG AS IT WAS BENElCIAL FOR THE 5NION AND ALL CLUBS AND SOCIETIES (OWEVER THE CONCERNS OF THE #ONCRETE %DITOR VOICED IN HER PRESENTATION WERE TAKEN VERY SERIOUSLY RESULTING IN A REQUEST FOR MORE THOUGHT TO BE PUT INTO THE *OB DESCRIPTION SO AS NOT TO CONmICT WITH #ONCRETE S !DVERTISING -ANAGER 4HEREFORE ) WAS SHOCKED AND SLIGHTLY DISGUSTED WHEN ) WAS TOLD ABOUT THE SITUATION THAT HAD ARISEN v !NDY *UDSON AGREES h)T SEEMS POINTLESS FOR THE 5NION TO ARRANGE ADVERTISING FOR CLUBS AND SOCIETIES IF THEY DON T WANT THE HELP AND THE MONEY SHOULD BE GOING BACK TO THE SOCIETIES ) ENVISION THE !DVERTISING 3ALES 0ERSON SIMPLY ORGANIZING THE ADVERTISING FOR SPECIlCALLY 5NION RUN ACTIVITIES I E THE %NTS
DEPARTMENT AND HOPEFULLY TAKING SOME WORK OFF OF THE SHOULDERS OF THE #OMMUNICATIONS /FlCER v 3PEAKING FOR ,IVEWIRE .ICK +ENT WHO ALSO HOLDS A COMMITTEE POST IN THE SOCIETY SAID h7E WERE RATHER CONCERNED WHEN WE lRST HEARD ABOUT THE ROLE OF THE !DVERTISING 3ALES 0ERSON AS ONE OF THE MAIN APPEALS OF ,IVEWIRE IS ITS NON COMMERCIAL ASPECT &ORTUNATELY A STEP HAS BEEN TAKEN TO NEGOTIATE THE SITUATION HOWEVER ) CAN ONLY SYMPATHISE WITH THE SITUATION #ONCRETE NOW lND THEMSELVES IN v .OW THE !DVERTISING 3ALES 0ERSON AS IT STANDS HAS LOST THE SUPPORT OF SOME OF THE %XEC BEEN SHOWN TO BE UNCONSTITUTIONAL POTENTRIALLY DAMAGING TO THE EDITORIAL INDEPENDENCE OF #ONCRETE AND INTERFERING IN THE lSCAL INDEPENDENCE OF CLUBS AND SOCIETIES IT LOOKS THAT A DRAMATIC RETHINK OF THE POSITION IS NEEDED 5NFORTUNATELY THESE ISSUES HAVE CAUSED A SITUATION WHERE #ONCRETE IS CURRENTLY UNABLE TO RAISE THE MONEY NEEDED TO PRINT FOR NEXT YEAR #ONCRETE AND THE %XECUTIVE ARE CURRENTLY IN DISCUSSIONS TO RESOLVE THESE ISSUES /THER CLUBS AND SOCIATIES SHOULD CONTACT EITHER !NDY *UDSON OR %DDIE 3HIELDS
)NVENTIVE WRITING 9OUR MUM WON A #!3! !BIGAIL +EEN &ORMER %NGLISH AND !MERICAN ,IT ERATURE STUDENT !LEXANDER 'ORDON 3MITH HAS RECENTLY HAD HIS BOOK 4HE )NVENTORS PUBLISHED BY &ABER 4HE YEAR OLD KNOWN TO HIS FRIENDS AS 'ORDON WROTE THE BOOK IN THE SUMMER OF WITH HIS YOUNGER BROTHER *AMIE 7EBB WHO WAS NINE AT THE TIME )T IS A CHILDREN S NOVEL AND NARRATES THE ADVENTURES OF .ATE AND #AT WHO WIN A YEAR S SCHOLARSHIP WITH THE WORLD S BEST INVENTOR %BEN EZER 3AINT 4HEY ARE TAKEN TO 3AINT S 3OLUTIONS PARADISE AND SOON DISCOVER THAT %BENEZER HAS A DARK AGENDA 4HEY REALISE THEY WILL HAVE TO OUT WIT THE MOST INTELLIGENT INVENTOR IN THE WORLD IF THEY WANT TO SEE THEIR FAMI LIES AGAIN 4HE INITIAL IDEA BEHIND THE STORY OCCURRED TO 'ORDON IN A DREAM AND WITH *AMIE S HELP THEY TOGETHER CRE ATED THE NOVEL WHICH WENT ON TO WIN SECOND PLACE IN A NATIONAL COMPETITION RUN BY 7ATERSTONES AND &ABER CALLED THE h7OW &ACTORv !LTHOUGH THEY DID NOT WIN &ABER WERE SO IMPRESSED WITH THE NOVEL THAT THEY DECIDED TO PUBLISH IT 4HE BOOK CAME OUT IN ALL GOOD BOOKSTORES ON !PRIL AND IS CURRENTLY PART OF THE 7ATERSTONES
FOR PROMOTION !LTHOUGH h4HE )NVENTORSv IS HIS lRST lCTIONAL NOVEL 'ORDON HAS WRIT TEN OVER ARTICLES SHORT STORIES AND NON lCTION BOOKS INCLUDING h)N SPIRED #REATIVE 7RITINGv WHICH IS A GUIDE FOR PRACTICING AND NEW WRITERS !S A lRST YEAR STUDENT AT 5%! HE SET UP HIS OWN MAGAZINE CALLED 4HE %GG "OX WHICH SHOWCASED CREATIVE WRIT ING FROM OTHER STUDENTS AS WELL AS A MIXTURE OF POETRY AND PROSE FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD !FTER LATER PUBLISH ING SOME POETRY BOOKS THE ATTEN TION SHIFTED AWAY FROM THE MAGAZINE AND INTO A NEW VENTURE %GG "OX 0UBLISHING "ASED IN .ORWICH %GG "OX 0UBLISHING BECAME A NON PROlT PUBLISHING COMPANY WITH THE AIM OF PROMOTING NEW WRITERS 'ORDON IS STILL VERY MUCH INVOLVED WITH IT TODAY AND HELPS TO lNANCE IT WITH HIS OWN WRITING /RIGINALLY FROM .ORWICH 'ORDON HAS DESCRIBED THE CITY AS THE IDEAL PLACE TO WRITE AND TO RUN %GG "OX FROM BECAUSE OF ITS THRIVING ARTS COM MUNITY (E KNEW FROM A YOUNG AGE HE ALWAYS WANTED TO WRITE COMPLETING HIS lRST BOOK h3UPER #ARROTv AGED JUST SIX (E AND *AMIE ARE CURRENTLY WORK ING ON THE SEQUEL TO h4HE )NVENTORSv AND 'ORDON HAS ABOUT SEVEN NOVELS IN THE PIPELINE WHICH WILL HOPEFULLY BE OUT IN THE NEAR FUTURE
*EMMA 4HAKE 4HE ACHIEVEMENTS OF 5%! S CLUBS AND SOCIETIES WERE RECOGNISED LAST 4UESDAY AT A CEREMONY IN THE ,#2 3TUDENTS DONNED THEIR GLAD RAGS FOR THE #LUBS AND 3OCIETIES !WARDS #!3!S AND ENJOYED ENER GETIC PERFORMANCES FROM 5%! !N GELS #HEERLEADERS 3TREET *AZZ 2OCK 'OSPEL AND $ANCE 3PORT 4HERE WERE SOME SHOCK WINNERS WITH THE USUAL SUSPECTS #ONCRETE AND ,IVEWIRE MISSING OUT ON A GONG THIS YEAR !MONG THE SURPRISES WAS THE @!CHIEVEMENT IN 3OCIETY AWARD WIDELY EXPECTED TO GO TO ,IVEWIRE FOR THEIR (EARING !ID CHARITY EVENT WHICH WENT TO 3TREET *AZZ 4HREE TIME "53! CHAMPIONS +ORFBALL ALSO MISSED OUT TO .ETBALL IN THE @4EAM OF THE 9EAR CATEGORY /THER WINNERS INCLUDED !DAM
-OULDER WHO PROVED TO BE A POP ULAR CHOICE FOR THE @3ERVICE TO 3O CIETY AWARD -OULDER HAS BEEN A PROMINENT lGURE ON CAMPUS OVER THE LAST THREE YEARS THROUGH HIS IN VOLVEMENT WITH THE $RAMA 3OCIETY AND AS A 3PORTS 2EPRESENTATIVE FOR ZIGGURAT 4IM 2EGAN WAS HONOURED WITH THE @3ERVICE TO 3PORT AWARD FOR HIS TIRELESS WORK AS 0RESIDENT OF $ANCE 3PORT (E SAVED THE CLUB FROM l NANCIAL RUIN AND BUILT THE CLUB UP TO ITS CURRENT HIGH STANDARD (E LATER PERFORMED A ROUTINE ON STAGE WITH FELLOW CLUB MATES 4HE CURRENT @GREEN REVOLUTION THAT IS TAKING 5%! BY STORM WAS IL LUSTRATED WITH AWARDS GOING TO PRE VIOUS %NVIRONMENTAL /FlCER "EN -EAKER AND TO THE NEWLY FORMED #AMPUS 3USTAINABILITY )NITIATIVE 4HE EVENING WAS HOSTED BY #OMMUNICATIONS /FlCER &RANCIS (AMLYN WHO KEPT HIS COOL DESPITE THE AUDIENCE AT ONE POINT THROWING
MISSILES AT HIM )T IS UNCONlRMED WHETHER THIS INCIDENT WAS FUELLED BY THE COMPLIMENTARY COCKTAILS !LSO ON HAND TO PRESENT AWARDS WERE !NDY *UDSON %DDIE 3HIELDS AND +UMARAN 6ELUPPILLAI 3ERVICE TO SOCIETY !DAM -OULDER SPORT 4IM 2EGAN THE UNION "EN -EAKER 0ROGRESS IN SPORT #HEERLEADING SOCIETY 2OCK 'OSPEL #HOIR !CHIEVEMENT IN SPORT !MI "ROUGHTON A SOCIETY 3TREET *AZZ 4EAM OF THE YEAR .ETBALL #LUB OF THE YEAR 6OLLEYBALL 3OCIETY OF THE YEAR #AMPUS 3USTAINABILITY )NITIATIVE
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.%73 .EW $EGREE 7EBSPACE !S OF THE START OF THE NEXT ACADEMIC YEAR STUDENTS WILL HAVE THEIR OWN INTRANET HOMEPAGE RELATING TO THEIR COURSE AND SPECIlC TO THEIR NEEDS WITH THEIR REQUIRED LINKS /NE ,)4 STUDENT COMMENTED n hIT SOUNDS A BIT LIKE 5%!3PACE (OWEVER IT COULD BE REALLY USEFUL TO HAVE A CENTRE FROM WHICH YOU CAN lND OUT ABOUT THE PARTICULARS OF YOUR COURSE n WHEN ESSAYS AND EXAMS ARE WHEN BOOKS ARE RECOMMENDED AND SO FORTH (OPEFULLY IT WILL MAKE STUD YING A LOT EASIER v
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4HE RACE FOR 3PORTS /FlCER /H 5%! IS WONDERFUL "UT WHO WILL BE LEADING THIS CHANT NEXT YEAR 6OTE FOR NEXT YEAR S 3PORTS /FlCER THIS 7EDNESDAY ND AND 4HURSDAY RD IN THE ,#2 2EMEMBER TO BRING YOUR CAMPUS CARD
3TUART "RILL
3OPHIE 0ULLEN
!NTHONY .EWMAN
*AMES 4URNER
) BELIEVE ) HAVE EXPERIENCE AT ALL LEVELS OF SPORT AS A COMPETITOR COACH VOLUNTEER OFlCIAL AND OF COURSE A FAN ) WILL IMPROVE LINKS WITH LOCAL SPORTS CLUBS BETTER RECOGNITION FOR HIGH ACHIEVEMENT WORK CLOSER WITH CLUBS TO IMPROVE EXPERIENCE FOR ALL MEMBERS
) ABSOLUTELY LOVE EVERYTHING TO DO WITH SPORTS SO BECOMING SPORTS /FlCER WILL JUST FULlL MY PASSION FURTHER ) LOOK FORWARD TO INTRODUCING NEW EXCITING SPORTS TO THE 5%! AS WELL AS HIGHLY SUPPORTING THOSE ALREADY EXISTING ) AM HARDWORKING AND WILL LISTEN TO ANY SUGGESTIONS PEOPLE MAY HAVE
) M !NTHONY .EWMAN AND CUR RENTLY ON 5NION #OUNCIL AS &ELL #LUB S REP AND ON TWO UNIVERSITY COMMITTEES )4#& AND 3CIENCE ,41# ) WANT TO CONTINUE THE WORK DONE THAT HAS MADE 5%! THE BEST PLACE FOR SPORT OF ANY UNIVERSITY IN THE 5+ )F YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS EMAIL ANTHONY SPORTS GMAIL COM
h) WANT TO COMPLETELY CHANGE THE WAY SPORT IS RUN AT 5%! ) PLAN TO FORM @5%! 3PORT A NEW ORGANISA TION WHICH WILL BRING ALL OF 5%! S 3PORTS TEAMS TOGETHER UNDER A JOINT BANNER 4HIS CHANGE IS NEED ED IF WE ARE TO CONTINUE TO SUCCEED AT SPORT IN THE FUTURE v
$YSLEXIC 3UES "ANK ! LOCAL MAN 2OBERT .EIL OF "RAD WELL IS SUING HIS BANK BECAUSE HE FEELS THEY HAVE DISCRIMINATED AGAINST HIS DYSLEXIA (E CLAIMS THAT "ARCLAYS BANK HAVE REFUSED TO DEAL WITH HIM PROPERLY DESPITE MANY PLEAS FOR HELP AND THAT THEY ARE THUS IN BREACH OF THE $ISABIL ITY $ISCRIMINATION !CT 4HE PROBLEM IS THAT AS A DYSLEXIC HE lNDS IT DIFlCULT TO MAKE SENSE OF LONG LETTERS CRAMMED WITH MATH EMATICAL DETAIL AND THIS LEADS TO HIM MAKING EXPENSIVE MISTAKES IN HIS BANKING 4HIS CASE COULD HAVE A LARGE IMPACT ON BANKING AS IT MAY FORCE "RITISH BANKS TO RE ASSESS THE WAY THEY DEAL WITH PEOPLE SUFFERING FROM DYSLEXIA
.O TEXT SUBMITTED FROM -ATT ,UCK
7EDNESDAY ND -AY #/.#2%4%
.%73
!ND .OW &OR 3OMETHING #OMPLETELY $IFFERENT -USICAL
,OCAL %LECTIONS
7ITH THE LOCAL ELECTIONS COMING UP #ONCRETE HAS ASKED THE FOUR BIG LOCAL PARTYS TO TELL US ABOUT THERE CANDADATES (ERE ARE THE CANDADATES STANDING IN THE 5NIVERSITY AND .ELSON MOST OF THE GOLDEN TRI ANGLE WARDS
,OCAL %LECTIONS 7HAT YOU NEED TO KNOW 7HEN -AY 7HERE 4HE 5NIVERSITY WARD POLLING STATIONS ARE AT 3T -ARY S #HURCH (ALL "LACKDALE -IDDLE 3CHOOL 'EORGE #ARVER #OURT 3T !NNES #HURCH (ALL AND THE 5NITED 2EFORMED #HURCH #ONSERVATIVES 5NIVERSITY WARD .IALL "AXTER .IALL IS $EPUTY #HAIRMAN 0OLITICAL OF .ORWICH 3OUTH #ONSERVATIVE !SSOCIATION AND A SECOND YEAR LAW STUDENT (E PLAYS THE ORGAN AND BAG PIPES AND WRITES 4HE %NQUIRER FOR #ONCRETE .ELSON WARD -ALCOLM #HAMBERLAIN -ALCOLM LIVES IN THE 'OLDEN 4RIANGLE WITH HIS WIFE (E IS A PASSIONATE CAMPAIGNER ON THE ENVIRONMENT AND ALSO WANTS THE STANDARDS OF PAVEMENTS TO BE IMPROVED -ALCOLM HAS LIVED IN .ORWICH FOR A LONG TIME AND AS A JOURNALIST ON THE %$0 COINED THE TERM @'OLDEN 4RIANGLE
,IBERAL $EMOCRATS 5NIVERSITY WARD *AMES 7RIGHT 2AISED AND EDUCATED IN .ORWICH ) CURRENTLY WORK AT A LOCAL SECONDARY SCHOOL 0ASSIONATELY OPPOSED TO THE )RAQ WAR ) AM PROUD TO SUPPORT THE 3TOP THE 7AR #OALITION ) BELIEVE IN A SUS TAINABLE ENVIRONMENTAL AND WASTE REDUCTION POLICY /UTSIDE OF WORK ) CAN BE FOUND $*ING AT THE 7ATERFRONT
4HE .ELSON WARD POLLING STATIONS ARE AT "ELVER DEAR #OMMUNITY #ENTRE 3T 0ETER S #HURCH (ALL 4RINITY 5NITED 2EFORMED #HURCH AND THE 3COUT (EADQUARTERS ON *ESSOP 2OAD (OW *UST TURN UP AT THE POLLING STATION WITH YOUR VOTING CARD IT SHOULD BE IN YOUR PIGEON HOLE IF YOUR A lRST YEAR ANY OTHER YEAR IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN DELIVERED TO YOUR HOUSE
-ASTERMIND !N YEAR OLD FROM !TTLEBOROUGH HAS BEEN GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY THAT MANY YOUNG MUSICIANS CAN ONLY DREAM OF 4OM 2ALPHS WILL GET THE CHANCE TO PLAY AT 'LASTONBURY THIS YEAR AT THE ,EFT &IELD STAGE AFTER IMPRESSING JUDGES AT THE .ATIONAL &OUNDATION FOR 9OUTH -USIC S "UILD A "AND COMPETITION lNALS "UT THERE IS A CATCH HE WON T HIS FELLOW BAND MEMBERS UNTIL JUST A FEW DAYS BEFOREHAND WHEN THE TAL ENTED YOUNGSTERS WILL HAVE TO WORK TOGETHER TO CREATE A SET )F YOU VE BEEN LUCKY ENOUGH TO GET A TICKET WHY NOT SUPPORT 4OM HIS INmU ENCES INCLUDE THE #LASH AND 'REEN $AY
3TEVIE 3TEPS $OWN 4HE /UTGOING 7ELFARE OFlCER IS ALSO STEPPING DOWN FROM HIS OTHER LIFE AS A GREEN CITY COUNCILLOR (E WAS COUNCILLOR FOR -ANCROFT WARD 7HILE IN BOTH OFlCES HE WORKED WITH THE COUNCIL TO DEAL WITH LOCAL BUS PROVISION (E ALSO SAT ON THE MUSEUMS AND TWINNING COMMIT TEES OF THE #ITY #OUNCIL
.ELSON WARD $AVID &AIRBAIRN $AVID &AIRBAIRN WORKS AS A TECHNICIAN AT THE )N STITUTE OF &OOD 2ESEARCH (E HAS BEEN A SCIENCE TEACHER BIOLOGY AND HAS CARRIED OUT MICRO BIOLOGICAL RESEARCH $AVID CAME TO .ORWICH TWENTY YEARS AGO FROM %DINBURGH (IS PARTNER "RIGID WAS BORN IN .ORWICH AND PROVIDES LOCAL AND HISTORICAL PERSPECTIVE ON ISSUES
,ABOUR
'REEN 0ARTY
5NIVERSITY WARD 2OY "LOWER 2OY "LOWER IS COMMITTED TO THE COMMUNITY ,IVING LOCALLY 2OY HAS WORKED AND RAISED HIS FAMILY IN THE AREA AND FOUGHT HARD FOR PRACTI CAL CHANGES )N RECENT MONTHS 2OY HAS WORKED WITH RESIDENTS TO SECURE THE FUTURE OF THE #OM MUNITY 7ARDENS DELIVER TRAFlC CALMING MEAS URES AND STOP MOBILE PHONE MAST APPLICATIONS IN THE #OLMAN 2OAD AREA
5NIVERSITY WARD !DRIAN 2AMSAY ) WAS ELECTED AS A COUNCILLOR FOUR YEARS AGO WHILST STUDYING AT 5%! 4HE 'REEN 0ARTY IS A LARGE OPPOSITION GROUP AT #ITY (ALL 7E NEED MORE 'REENS ELECTED SO WE CAN REQUIRE MORE RENEWABLE ENERGY AND AFFORDABLE HOUSING IN DEVELOPMENTS AND IMPROVE RECYCLING FACILITIES 3EE WWW NORWICHGREENPARTY ORG FOR MORE IN FORMATION
.ELSON 7ARD 0ETER "ARTRAM (E IS COMMITTED TO THE COMMUNITY AND WANTS THE #OUNCIL TO DELIVER PRACTICAL CHANGES LO CALLY /VER THE YEARS 0ETER HAS WORKED HARD WITH DIFFERENT COMMUNITY GROUPS AND RESIDENTS TO CAMPAIGN FOR PRACTICAL CHANGES AND POSITIVE IMPROVEMENTS )F ELECTED ON 4HURSDAY RD -AY 0ETER WILL BE A STRONG VOICE FOR .ELSON 7ARD
.ELSON 7ARD *AMES #ONWAY *AMES #ONWAY IS A 5%! %NVIRONMENTAL 3CIENCE GRADUATE AND A FORMER $EPUTY %DITOR OF #ON CRETE (E STOOD FOR ELECTION LAST YEAR IN 4HORPE (AMLET GAINING VOTES (E IS NOW WORKING IN %ARLHAM 2OAD S ORGANIC GREEN GROCERS AND HAS SECURED A PLACE ON THE .ORWICH #ITY #OL LEGE -EDICINE !CCESS #OURSE
/PEN BANK HOLIDAYS -/.$!9 4(523$!9 PM &2)$!9 3!452$!9 -)$.)'(4 35.$!9 PM
W W
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7EDNESDAY ND -AY
-Ìi >Ê ,iÛ Ü>À` i> Ê *>} i`Ê iÊÎ Ê
&OLLOWING THE SHOCK RESIGNATION LAST WEEK OF THE EIGHTY SEVENTH CORONER TO PRESIDE OVER THE IN QUEST INTO THE DEATH OF $IANA FORMER 0RINCESS OF 7ALES THE LAT EST JUDGE TO HEAD IT WAS REVEALED LAST NIGHT *UDGE $REDD WILL TAKE OVER NEXT MONTH AFTER BEING SECOND ED FROM THE #OURTS OF *USTICE IN -EGA #ITY /NE #OMMENTING ON HIS PROMOTION $REDD TOLD 4HE %NQUIRER h) AM THE LAW v
(YGIENE !CADEMY 5NVEILED !FTER OPENING A NATIONAL COLLEGE FOR PARENTING AND BRINGING UP CHILDREN THE GOVERNMENT HAS NOW REVEALED PLANS FOR CREATING A DEDICATED SCHOOL TO COMBAT POOR PERSONAL HYGIENE 5NVEILING THE !CADEMY FOR 0UBLIC (YGIENE AND .ASTY 3MELLS 0UBLIC (EALTH -INISTER 'ERTRUDE "ATTYCLUCK DISMISSED CRITICS OF THE SCHEME WHO ACCUSED THE GOV ERNMENT OF INTRUDING INTO PRIVATE LIFE 3HE SAID h$ESPITE THE VAST MAJORITY OF THE "RITISH PUBLIC LIV ING CLEAN AND HYGIENIC LIFESTYLES THERE WILL ALWAYS BE BAD APPLES WHO LET THE SIDE DOWN /NLY
.EW *UDGE !NNOUNCED &OR $IANA )NQUEST
YESTERDAY WHEN ) WALKED PAST A BUS STOP ) HAD TO CLIP A CLOTHES PEG ON MY NOSE TO BLOCK OUT THE RANCID ODOUR OF A SCRUFFY OLD TRAMP SMOKING A PIPE #HILDREN AT SCHOOL FAIL TO WASH THE BACK OF THEIR NECKS AND BEHIND THE EARS !ND TEENAGERS NEED TO UNDER STAND THAT "/ IS A SERIOUS CAUSE OF GLOBAL WARMING v h7E WANT TO BE AS SUPPORT IVE AS WE POSSIBLY CAN 7E WANT TO HELP PEOPLE GET IT RIGHT 4HIS !CADEMY WILL BE AN INTERNATIONAL AND NATIONAL HUB FOR PROVIDING
THE LATEST TRAINING AND SUPPORT IN KEEPING CLEAN v 4HE !CADEMY WILL PROVIDE TRAINING FOR CLINICAL PSYCHOLO GISTS COMMUNITY HYGIENE OFFICERS AND YOUTH CLEANLINESS WORKERS "UT OPPOSITION HEALTH SPOKES MAN 6ICTOR 3COOPLICK SAID h4HIS SMACKS OF YET ANOTHER ATTEMPT BY THE STATE TO INTERVENE IN THE LIVES OF ORDINARY PEOPLE )F PEOPLE WANT TO SMELL BAD THEN LET THEM n JUST AS LONG AS THEY KEEP AWAY FROM ME v
4RIBUTES 0AID TO #OMIC 'ENIUS 3ATIRISTS COMEDIANS AND IMPRESSIONISTS PAID TRIB UTE LAST NIGHT TO A COMIC GENIUS WHO HAS DOMINATED PUBLIC LIFE IN "RITAIN FOR THE PAST DECADE 4ONY "LAIR IS BEGINNING THE END OF HIS TIME RUNNING ONE OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL COMEDY CLUBS IN THE COUNTRY 3TAND UP COMIC 3ID 'LUBROT LOOKED BACK FONDLY AT THE TEN YEARS OF HUMOUR h4ONY WAS A COMIC GEN IUS 7E ALL LOOK UP TO THE GUY (IS SENSE OF TIMING WAS AMAZING !ND HIS JOKES HAD ME ROARING WITH LAUGHTER 7HO CAN FORGET THE ONE ABOUT WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION DEPLOYABLE IN FORTY FIVE MINUTES ) MEAN HE ACTUALLY SENT TROOPS INTO )RAQ &ANTASTIC WHAT A MAN v .ORA #ESSWART WORKED WITH "LAIR IN HIS EARLY YEARS IN REVUE h%VEN AT A YOUNG AGE HE COULD HAVE AUDI ENCES WEEPING IN HYSTERICS ) MEAN ACTUALLY STANDING FOR ELECTION IN UNDER A MANIFESTO COMMITMENT TO UNILATERAL DISARMAMENT WITHDRAWAL FROM THE %# AND RENATIONALISATION WAS A JOY TO BEHOLD ) ALWAYS SAY THAT THE EARLY ONES WERE THE BEST /NCE HE GOT TO .O HE STOPPED BEING FUNNY ANY MORE v "LAIR PROVIDED INSPIRATION FOR A NEW GENERATION OF COMEDIANS 4AKE $AVID -ILIBAND BRINGING THE (OUSE DOWN AS HE DECLARED h) VE MEANT WHAT ) SAID ) AM NOT A CANDIDATE WE VE GOT AN EXCELLENT PRIME MINISTER IN WAITING IN 'ORDON "ROWN v /NE OF "LAIR S MOST POPULAR ROUTINES WAS A PAS TICHE OF -ONTY 0YTHON 4HE $EAD 4ORY ,EADER 3KETCH INVOLVED HIM FLOGGING OFF 7ILLIAM (AGUE TO THE UN
-OHAMMED !L &AYED WEL COMED THE NEWS OF THIS DEVELOP MENT h!T LAST THIS INQUEST WILL FINALLY BEGIN TO LISTEN TO MY AC COUNT OF HOW THE FUGGIN $UKE OF %DINBURGH HIRED THE YETI TO MAS TERMIND THE ASSASSINATIONS OF THE 0RINCESS AND MY SON BY EMPLOY ING THE LEGENDARY HIT MAN ,ORD ,UCAN TO BUMP THEM OFF 4HE BODIES WERE THEN TAKEN TO THE "ER MUDA 4RIANGLE IN A CART DRAWN BY 3HERGAR (EY WHAT ARE YOU FUGGIN SNIGGERING AT v
/H DEAR BAD "LAIR DAY SUSPECTING "RITISH PUBLIC WITH THE RESOUNDING CRY OF hSEVEN DAYS TO SAVE THE POUND v
#OMPETITION #ORNER 4HIS WEEK WE RE GIVING ONE LUCKY READ ER TO BECOME A -EMBER OF THE 3COT TISH 0ARLIAMENT !LL YOU HAVE TO DO IS ANSWER THIS EASY PEASY QUESTION 7HAT IS THE 3COTTISH 0ARLIAMENT CALLED A (OLLYWOOD B 7HOLLY 2UDE C (OLY 2OD D (OLYROOD )F YOU THINK YOU KNOW THE ANSWER SIM PLY SEND YOUR ANSWER TO !LEX 3ALMOND C O 4HE "IDE A WEE (OME FOR $ELUDED 0OLITICIANS /CH AYE THE NOO
7EDNESDAY ND -AY
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(OW TO 6OTE IN %ASY STEPS 6OTE 4ORY FOR ! ,ITTLE 'LORY $O US A FAVOUR AND VOTE ,A BOUR 4HE CRÒME DE LA CRÒME VOTE ,IB $EM 9OU VE GOTTA BE SEEN VOTING 'REEN "Y #HURZLE -C7HURZLE 2EGISTER TO 6OTE %VERY YEAR THE CITIZENS OF .ORWICH GATHER IN FRONT OF THE #ITY (ALL TO REGISTER TO VOTE /N THE BALCONY THE #ITY #LERK PRODUCES A VELLUM SCROLL DATING FROM WHEN .ORWICH WAS INVENTED WHICH HAS THE NAME OF EVERY PERSON ON 4HE #ITY #LERK BEGINS BY READING OUT THE NAMES ON THE REGISTER &ROM THE BE GINNING 4HIS IS A TIME CONSUM ING EXERCISE AND IT IS WELL WORTH BRINGING A FLASK OF SOUP OR TEA A PACKET OF BISCUITS AND A HOT WATER BOTTLE WITH YOU 4HE #ITY #LERK WILL INEVITABLY BE COME IRRITATED THAT SO MANY PEOPLE ARE ABSENT PARTICU LARLY THOSE SUFFERING FROM BUBONIC PLAGUE AND BEGIN TO DISH OUT DEMERITS n SO BEHAVE %VENTUALLY THE #ITY #LERK WILL REACH "E PREPARED TO LISTEN OUT FOR YOUR NAME AND RESPOND BY RAISING YOUR ARM AND REPLY ING hHERE SIR v 2ECEIVING YOUR 0OLL #ARD 3OMETIME LATER THE POST MAN WILL DELIVER A POLL CARD TO YOU 4HESE ARE COMMON LY MISTAKEN FOR BIRTHDAY CARDS AND ARE MISLEADING "UT WHATEVER YOU DO DON T OPEN IT UNLESS IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY ,EGEND HAS IT THAT $EATH WILL CURSE .ORFOLK AND ,ABOUR WILL STALK THE LAND IF ANYONE OPENS A POLL CARD WHEN IT IS NOT THEIR BIRTHDAY (OWEVER ANOTHER LEGEND SAYS THAT THIS HAS HAPPENED ALREADY 7HAT YOU CAN DO THOUGH IS READ WHAT IT SAYS 9OUR 0OLE CARD SHOULD HAVE DETAILS ON WHERE AND WHEN YOU CAN FIND YOUR LOCAL 0OLE IN CASE OF AN EMERGENCY SO DO NOT THROW IT AWAY YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU NEED A 0OLE "EING #ANVASSED !S THE ELECTION DRAWS NEAR ER YOU WILL BE VISITED BY SOME ODD PEOPLE WEARING COLOURFUL ROSETTES ASKING FOR YOUR VOTE "E WARNED $ON T LET THEM IN #ANVASS ERS ARE NOTORIOUS FOR MUG GING OLD LADIES AND ROBBING HARD WORKING FAMILIES OF THEIR POSSESSIONS !LWAYS REMEMBER THAT IF YOU FEEL INTIMIDATED
YOU ARE FULLY ENTITLED TO USE REASONABLE FORCE TO DEFEND YOURSELF UNDER THE (OMEOWNERS 0ROTECTION FROM 0OLITICIANS !CT ! WORD OF ADVICE THOUGH IF YOU END UP WITH A DEAD PARTY ACTIVIST ON YOUR BLOODIED DOORMAT CALL THE POLICE AT ONCE (AV ING A BLOODIED DOORMAT AND A DEAD PARTY ACTIVIST IS A CRIMINAL OFFENCE UNDER THE 0OLITICIANS 0ROTEC TION FROM (OMEOWNERS !CT WHICH MEANS YOU LL BE IMPRISONED FOR UP TO ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY YEARS AND MISS THE ELEC TIONS ALL TOGETHER 2EADING %LECTION ,ITERATURE !LONG WITH THE VARIOUS KNOCKS ON THE DOOR COMES THE PLETHORA OF LEAFLETS THROUGH YOUR LETTERBOX -OST OF THEM WILL BE ABOUT THE ELECTIONS THOUGH THE ,IB $EMS HAVE A DISREPU TABLE REPUTATION FOR OFFER ING CHEAP PACKAGE HOLIDAYS TO 7ESTON 3UPER -ARE SO DON T BE FOOLED 4HEY MIGHT MEAN WELL BUT IF SPENDING A WET FORTNIGHT WITH 6INCE #ABLE IS NOT YOUR IDEA OF HEAVEN SIMPLY SHRED THE OFFENDING ITEM UP FOR YOUR PET GERBIL 4HE LEAFLET THAT IS NOT 7ES TON 3UPER -ARE "UT THEN AGAIN 0OLLING $AY &OR NORMAL HUMAN BE INGS LIKE YOU HOPEFULLY THOUGH IF YOU RE READ ING 4HE %NQUIRER AND ARE FROM !NDROZANI -AJOR ) D LIKE TO EXTEND THE HAND OF FRIENDSHIP TO YOU /R THE SINK PLUNGER OF DOOM n SURELY THAT S A 4OM "AKER EPISODE n IF YOU RE FROM 3KARO 0OLLING $AY IS A NORMAL DAY &OR POLITICAL ACTIVISTS HOWEVER BY THEY WILL HAVE ALREADY LEAFLETED YOUR HOME YET AGAIN AND WOKEN YOU UP BY CRUNCHING LOUDLY ON THE GRAVEL DRIVE ENRAGED YOUR DOG BY SLAMMING THE GATE AND WOKEN UP THE WHOLE STREET BY DOING IT TO THEM AS WELL !FTER GETTING BACK TO SLEEP THEN WAKING UP PROPERLY SOMETIME LATER YOU MUST FIND SPACE IN YOUR BUSY SCHEDULE TO VOTE 0OLLING STATIONS ARE OPEN FROM AND CLOSE AT SO SAYING THAT THE (OLLYOAKS OMNIBUS IS ON IS
SIMPLY NOT CRICKET "ESIDES IT S A 4HURSDAY 9ES ALL DAY .O YOU CAN T SAY THAT YOU LL VOTE TOMORROW .O )T DOESN T WORK LIKE THAT (ONEST !NYWAY AS YOU AP PROACH YOUR LOCAL POLL ING STATION YOU WILL MOST LIKELY BE AMBUSHED BY YET ANOTHER LOON IN A COLOUR FUL ROSETTE WHO WILL ASK FOR YOUR NUMBER )F YOU RESPOND BY GIVING THEM YOUR MOBILE NUMBER AND INSTRUCTING THEM TO ASK FOR 6IOLET 7HIPLASH THEN DO NOT BE WORRIED IF THEY LOOK SLIGHTLY PERPLEXED (OWEV ER DO BE WORRIED IF YOU GET A CALL FOR 6IOLET 7HIPLASH FROM THE #ONSERVATIVE #AN DIDATE n SEXUAL DEVIANCE IS LIKE BREAD AND BUTTER TO THEM 9UM YUM 7HAT THEY ACTUALLY WANT IS YOUR POLLING NUMBER PRINTED SOMEWHERE ON YOUR POLL CARD 3O MAKE THEIR DAY AND GIVE IT TO THEM !F TER YOU HAVE OVERCOME THIS MIGHTY OBSTACLE YOU ARE THEN PERMITTED TO PROCEED INTO THE HALLOWED INNER SANCTUM OF THE POLLING STA TION ITSELF !T A TABLE WILL BE A PAIR OF SEVERE LOOKING FIFTY YEAR OLD LADIES 4HEY TOO WILL WANT YOUR POLL CARD AND WILL TAKE IT FROM YOU $O NOT RESIST AS THEY ARE UNDER STRICT INSTRUCTIONS FROM THE !RCHBISHOP OF #ANTERBURY TO PUNISH VOTERS WHO DO NOT OBEY THEIR WILL BY FLAG ELLATION )N RETURN FOR BEING SO BEASTLY THEY WILL ISSUE YOU WITH A BALLOT PAPER AND DIRECT YOU TO A SMALL WOODEN CUBICLE AT THE FAR END OF THE ROOM !S YOU HEAD TOWARDS IT BE ON THE ALERT FOR ANY PASSING 6I KING WARRIORS $ESPITE IT BEING A COMMON MISTAKE THAT 6IKINGS HAD HORNS IN THEIR HELMETS THEY DIDN T DESPITE WHAT YOU SAW IN !STERIX WHAT THEY DID DO WAS SAIL THEIR LONG BOATS TO ,INDISFARNE AND RAID THE POLLING STATIONS AND PLUN DER THE INNOCENT VOTERS OF THEIR BALLOT PAPERS .ICK 2OSS WARNED ON #RIMEWATCH LAST NIGHT THAT THIS PRACTICE STILL OCCURS TODAY THOUGH THANKFULLY VERY RARELY "UT YOU MUST NEVER LOSE YOUR GUARD .EVER EVER )N THE CUBICLE YOU MUST FIRST OF ALL SHUT AND LOCK THE DOOR BEHIND YOU !S YOU TURN ROUND AND REALISE
THAT YOU ARE ACTUALLY IN THE LOO YOU MUST SHEEPISHLY RETURN TO THE HALL AND FIND THE CUBICLES FOR VOTING IN 9OU ARE ADVISED TO AVOID ALL EYE CONTACT AS THE FINGER OF SCORN DEFINITELY A 0ATRICK 4ROUGHTON n $OC TOR 7HO AND THE &INGER OF 3CORN WILL BE POINTING AT YOU /NE WAY OF DOING THIS IS SHUTTING YOUR EYES BUT PEOPLE PRACTICING THIS METHOD OFTEN TEND TO TRIP OVER DOGS OLD LADIES AND PASSING NUMBER BUSES !NOTHER WAY IS TO PULL OUT YOUR EYEBALLS AND HERMITI CALLY SEAL THEM IN A CAPSULE BY YOUR SIDE 4HE DOWNSIDE OF THIS IS THAT IT IS FAR TOO MESSY AND HURTS A WEE BIT ,OCATE THE SHORT STUBBY PENCIL &OR YOUR CONVEN IENCE THIS HAS A PIECE OF ROUGH COARSE STRING TIED TO THE END 0LACE THE BALLOT PAPER ON THE DESK AND HAVE A QUICK READ 6ENERATE THE NEW 4ORY LOGO GOTTA LOVE THE BROCCOLI n HEY THAT SHOULD BE THE NEW SLO GAN FORGET @6OTE "LUE 'O 'REEN n WHY NOT @%AT 9OUR 'REENS INSTEAD 3ORRY #OUNCILLOR 2AMSAY SAVOUR THE ,ABOUR 2OSE DON T TRY SMELLING IT n IT S ACTUALLY AN IMAGE ON PAPER 2EVERE THE 5+)0 a h3EVEN DAYS v WAIT THAT S (AGUE MAR VEL AT THE ,IB $EM BIRD SOME AFICIONADOS USE BIN OCULARS AND FINALLY ADU LATE THE 'REEN 0ARTY %ARTH LOGO AAH SUCH SOOTHING QUALITIES 4HIRTY MINUTES LATER WORK OUT WHO YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO VOTE FOR BASED ON POLICY POSSIBLY PERSONAL ITY BUT DEFINITELY NOT LOGO 5NLESS YOU RE REALLY KEEN ON BROCCOLI &OR MANY PEOPLE THIS WILL BE A SOL EMN OCCASION THE MOMENT WHEN THEY EXERCISE THEIR CIVIC AND DEMOCRATIC RIGHT TO DECIDING WHO THEY WANT TO REPRESENT THEM IN #ITY (ALL "UT FOR THE REST OF US EENIE MEANIE IS STILL FUN TO DO EVEN AFTER ALL THOSE YEARS &INALLY USE THE PENCIL TO MARK AN 8 IN THE BOX OF YOUR MOST PREFERRED CANDI DATE &OLD THE PAPER IN TWO /PEN IT UP AND FOLD TWO ADJOINING ENDS DIAGONALLY INTO TO THE CENTRE &OLD IT UP AGAIN AND FOLD BACK THE ENDS OF THE SIDES 4HEN
THROW IT INTO THE AIR 7HEEE 7ASN T THAT FUN $ON T MOAN THAT YOU VE LOST ALL STREET CRED n NO ONE FORCED YOU TO DO THAT YOU KNOW ,EAVE THE CUBICLE AND TROT OVER TO THE BALLOT BOX !S YOU STAND IN FRONT OF THE TABLE WITH THE BOX ON JUST IGNORE THE SHORT BEARDED MAN IN THE TIGHT JEANS AND DISASTROUSLY COLOURED SHIRT ASKING IF YOU WANT TO DEAL OR NO DEAL AND INSERT YOUR PAPER INTO THE SLOT ON TOP !ND THERE THAT S IT !S -UKKA ONCE SAID GIVE YOURSELF A PAT ON THE BACK A PAT ON THE BACK A PAT ON THE BACK -ISSION ACCOM PLISHED 5NTIL NEXT YEAR . " )F YOU HAD A POSTAL VOTE IGNORE THE LAST STEP 4HOSE KEY COUNCILS TO KEEP AN EYE ON DURING ELECTION NIGHT #ONSERVATIVE "ERKS "OREHAM 4HE "ROADS $ITHERINGTON &AKENHAM (UFFINGTON 0ETTYWELL 0LUMPTON 7IGAN ,ABOUR "ICKERING #ONWAY %FFINGHAM 'REAT 4OSSON ,EATHERHEAD -UCH (ADHAM -UCK 2OTTON 2OW 3EETHING 4HROCKING 7ITTERING ,IBERAL $EMOCRAT "ARKING "LANDFORD $ISS ,EGS #ROSS ,ITTLE 3NORING -IDDLESEX 4HE 3CILLIES 3NITTER 3POONER 2OW 'REEN #ARDIGAN
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&OR THE LAST PAGE OF THE YEAR #ONCRETE 4RAVEL TURNS ITS RADAR CLOSER TO HOME #ORN WALL HAS ALWAYS BEEN A TOP TOURIST DESTINATION BUT AS *ULIE 0RICE DISCOVERS THE COUNTY HAS A LOT MORE TO OFFER THAN SURlNG IN .EWQUAY
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HEN PEERS DISCOVER ) M FROM #ORN WALL THE FIRST QUESTION THEY ASK IS h$O YOU SURF v !FTER ROLLING MY EYES IN A MADDENED FASHION MY RESPONSE IS TO STATE THE USUAL EXASPERATED REPLY h./ ) HAVE NEVER SURFEDv 4HE TOWN OF .EWQUAY HAS CERTAINLY HELPED TO PUT #ORNWALL ON THE MAP WITH ITS SURFING CUL TURE AND INFAMOUS REPUTATION FOR CHEAP BUT WILD STAG HEN NIGHTS
,ANDS %ND APART THE WEST ERLY TIP OF #ORNWALL HAS LARGELY BEEN IGNORED BY THE TOURIST AND HAS MAINTAINED ITS NATURAL SE CLUDED BEAUTY 4HE AREA AROUND 3ENNEN #OVE IS PARTICULARLY STAR TLING WITH 0ORTH .ANVEN BOAST ING STUNNING SUNSETS AND THE #OT 6ALLEY A HAVEN FOR WILD FLOWERS -OVING INLAND THE CENTRAL AREA OF #ORNWALL IS CHARACTERISED BY CHINA CLAY PITS 2ESIDING IN ONE PIT KNOWN AS "ODELVA THE %DEN 0ROJECT HAS GAINED AN IN TERNATIONAL REPUTATION AS A HOR
BUT AVOID THE BIG NAMES AND HEAD FOR &ISTRAL 3URF OR 4RIBAL -ANIAX FOR THE LESS COMMERCIAL LOOK &OR A MORE SOPHISTICATED NIGHT OUT THAN YOU WOULD GET IN .EWQUAY 4RURO ALSO BOASTS SOME DELICIOUS RESTAURANTS AND CLASSY BARS 4HE TAXI HOME WILL COST YOU RELATIVELY LITTLE SO IT S WORTH VENTURING AWAY FROM YOUR MAIN PLACE OF STAY !S THE SUMMER MONTHS AP PROACH AND THE BANK BALANCE IS REVIEWED WHY NOT CONSIDER A TRIP TO #ORNWALL AS AN ALTERNA
(UGELY POPULAR LOCALLY THE %DEN 0ROJECT S EN CLOSED CRATER AND HUGE BACK LIT BIO DOMES PROVIDE A UNIQUE MUSIC EXPERIENCE 9ET THE ATTITUDE OF THE TOURIST IS NOT SHARED BY THE LOCALS WHO TEND TO AVOID .EWQUAY LIKE THE PROVERBIAL PLAGUE 4HE REAL @+ER NOW #ORNISH FOR #ORNWALL IS THERE TO BE DISCOVERED AND THIS INSIDER HOPES TO SHOW YOU THE WAY &OR AN ALTERNATIVE TO THE COMMERCIAL SURFING CENTRE THAT IS .EWQUAY JUST LOOK TO THE LEFT OR TO THE RIGHT ,ITERALLY AIM EITHER SIDE OF THE TOWN AND YOU WILL FIND JUST AS AMAZING SURF BUT IN PRACTICALLY UNTOUCHED SURROUND INGS /F THE VILLAGES LYING ON THE NORTH COAST OF #ORNWALL 0ORTH TOWAN IS MY PERSONAL FAVOURITE WITH ITS DRAMATIC CLIFF DROPS AT EACH SIDE TUNNELLING YOUR VISION TOWARDS THE TURBULENT OCEAN !T THE FAMOUS "LUE "AR ENJOY A DE LICIOUS MEAL WHILST SEATED LOOK ING OUT OVER THE BAY PERFECT FOR SURFERS AWAITING THE NEXT SWELL OR FOR THOSE JUST WANTING TO WATCH THE LIVELY SCENE
TICULTURAL HAVEN AND HAS EVEN BEEN NAMED BY THE MORE AVID FAN AS THE TH 7ONDER OF THE 7ORLD &OR ONE WEEK IN *ULY %DEN ALSO PLAYS HOST TO THE %DEN 3ESSIONS A SERIES OF OUTDOOR GIGS WHICH HAVE REMAINED RELATIVELY UN PUBLICISED IN THE 5+ 0REVIOUS PERFORMERS INCLUDE -OBY AND 3NOW 0ATROL AND THIS YEAR !MY 7INEHOUSE *AMES -ORRISON AND "RIGHT %YES FORM JUST PART OF THE LINE UP (UGELY POPULAR LOCALLY THE ENCLOSED CRATER AND HUGE BACK LIT BIO DOMES PROVIDE A UNIQUE MUSIC EXPERIENCE AND IT IS WELL WORTH ORGANISING YOUR TRIP AROUND THE EVENT $ESPITE .EWQUAY BEING THE MOST FAMOUS #ORNISH TOWN 4RURO IS ACTUALLY HELD TO BE THE CAPITAL OF #ORNWALL BY MOST "Y DAY THE COBBLED STREETS WILL LEAD YOU FROM ONE BOUTIQUE TO THE NEXT WHERE YOU CAN FIND MANY DISTINCTIVE PURCHASES 4RURO IS ALSO SUPERB FOR SURF CLOTHING
TIVE TO THAT BOOZE UP IN )BIZA !CCOMMODATION COMES IN ALL SHAPES AND SIZES SUITED TO ANY BUDGET AS LONG AS YOU ARE WILL ING TO LOOK FOR IT (OSTELS AND PRIVATE " "S ARE CHEAPER THAN THE LARGER PREMISES AND FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO WANT TO CAMP THERE ARE UNLIMITED OPPORTUNI TIES )N TERMS OF TRAVEL IT CAN BE VERY CHEAP TO FLY FROM 3TANSTED TO .EWQUAY AS LONG AS YOU PLAN AHEAD AND BOOK EARLY 4HE INDIVIDUALITY OF THE #OR NISH LANDSCAPE CAN SATISFY THE DESIRES OF ANY VISITOR MAKING IT A PERFECT HOLIDAY DESTINATION FOR ALL !S YOU TRAVEL THROUGH THE COUNTY THE ATMOSPHERE ALTERS DRAMATICALLY FROM ONE TOWN TO THE NEXT SO FINDING SOMEWHERE TO SUIT YOU IS INEVITABLE -Y AD VICE IS TO BE ADVENTUROUS AND GO EXPLORING ) CAN GUARANTEE YOU WILL BE ASTOUNDED AT WHAT YOU FIND
#OMPETITION 0!).4).' 4(% 4/7. 2%$ %ARWORMS SEND ONE @LUCKY STUDENT AND A FRIEND TO BE PELTED WITH TOMATOES IN 3PAIN 7HAT S 3PANISH FOR @0LEASE NO MORE n ) M COVERED IN ENOUGH TOMATO JUICE ALREADY $ON T KNOW 7ELL ENTER THIS %ARWORMS COMPETITION FOR YOUR CHANCE TO WIN A TRIP FOR TWO TO THE WORLD FAMOUS ,A 4OMATINA @FESTIVAL ERR FOOD lGHT AND lND OUT
*UST GIVE US THE ANSWER TO THE SIMPLE QUESTION BELOW AND YOU AND A FRIEND COULD BE JOINING IN THE FUN THIS !UGUST AT THE &ESTIVAL ,A 4OMATINA ON THE TH OF !UGUST WITH MUSIC PARADES DANCING lREWORKS AND OF COURSE THE WORLD S BIGGEST TOMATO lGHT 4HE PRIZE INCLUDES THREE NIGHTS ACCOMMODA TION IN 6ALENCIA THREE NIGHTS IN "ARCELONA mIGHTS AND TRANSFERS TO THE FESTIVAL AND ADVICE ON DUCKING OUT OF THE WAY OF mYING TOMATOES FROM YOUR TOUR GUIDE 2UNNERS UP WILL WIN AN %ARWORMS LANGUAGE LEARN ING COURSE OF THEIR CHOICE &ANCY A BREAK 'O ON YOU DESERVE IT *UST TELL US WHICH OF THESE BIG 3PANISH CITIES IS THE NEAREST TO ,A 4OMATINA #LOSING DATE FOR THE COMPETITION IS THE TH OF *UNE A
"ARCELONA
B
-ADRID
C
6ALENCIA
4O ENTER JUST SEND AN EMAIL TO TOMATO EARWORMSLEARNING COM 0LEASE STATE IN THE TITLE OF THE EMAIL WHICH 5NIVERSITY YOU ARE STUDYING AT .EED A CLUE 4HE %ARWORMS WEBSITE HAS MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THE FESTIVAL LETS YOU HEAR SOME FREE %ARWORMS SAMPLES AND A LOT MORE BESIDES n WWW EARWORMSLEARNING COM
#OMPETITION
4RAVEL 'URU S LAST NUGGET OF TRAVELLING GOLD IS WWW TRAVELZOO CO UK THIS RETRO LOOKING SITE OFFERS A WEEKLY 4OP OF FANTASTIC HOLIDAY BARGAINS 4HIS WEEK S INCLUDES DAYS IN 4UNISIA mIGHTS AND MEALS INCLUDED FOR ONLY a
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3LEEPLESS IN #ONGREGATION (ALL
!NIME 3OC IS ONE OF THE LESSER KNOWN SO CIETIES AT 5%! SO !NNA 0RITCHARD ATTEND ED ONE OF THEIR HOUR SCREENING MARA THONS TO lND OUT WHAT IT S ALL ABOUT
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N ANNOUNCEMENT FOR THE READERS OF #ONCRETE THE 5%! !NIME 3OCIETY SUR VIVED ANOTHER SCREENING ) CAN HEAR YOU WONDERING @3URVIVE 7HAT ON EARTH WERE THEY DOING "EFORE ) PUT YOU OUT OF YOUR MISERY HOWEVER A BRIEF EXPLANATION @ANIME IS THE NAME COMMONLY GIVEN TO CARTOON ANIMATION MADE IN *APAN OF WHICH THE BEST KNOWN EXAMPLES OVER HERE ARE lLMS LIKE 3PIRITED !WAY 'HOST IN THE 3HELL AND !KIRA 5%! !NIME 3OC IS MADE UP OF FANS OF THIS CROSS CULTURAL PHENOM ENON AND THE SOCIETY EVENT OF PREFERENCE IS THE (OUR !NIME -ARATHON ! DISCLAIMER SLEEPLESS HOURS SPENT FOLLOWING ANIMATED CHARACTERS AND SUBTI TLES ACROSS A SCREEN IS NOT FOR THE FAINT HEARTED BUT THERE ARE OF COURSE RATIONAL EXPLANATIONS FOR SUCH BEHAVIOUR 4HE MAIN ADVANTAGE OF A HOUR MARATHON IS THE OPPORTUNITY TO WATCH AN ANIME SERIES n AND MOST ANIME COME IN THE FORM OF SERIES RATHER THAN lLMS n IN
&EBRUARY 7ELL AFTER A O CLOCK SEMINAR THAT MORNING AND AND A FAR TOO BRIEF NAP THAT AFTERNOON ) WAS MAKING MY WAY TO #ONGREGATION (ALL ACCOMPANIED BY MY ETERNALLY USEFUL WHEELIE SUITCASE THIS TIME STUFFED WITH A BLANKET PILLOW AND ENOUGH JUNK FOOD FOR A SUICIDE PACT BY HEART AT TACK 3HORT BREAKS EVERY FOUR EPISODES AN EPISODE BEING ABOUT MINUTES LONG MADE THE PACE EASIER TO BEAR AND ) LEARNED A USEFUL LESSON FOR NEXT TIME OH YES THERE WILL BE A NEXT TIME MAKE SURE ) VE ALREADY SEEN THE ANIME BEFOREHAND THAT WAY ) CAN SLEEP THROUGH CHUNKS AND STILL HAVE SOME GRASP OF THE PLOT 3TILL ON THE TOPIC OF SLEEP THE CONTENTS OF MY SUITCASE NO NOT THE FOOD WENT TRAGICALLY UNUSED 4EMPTING AS THE PILLOW AND BLANKET WERE AND HIGHLY PREFERABLE TO THE HARD #ONGREGATION (ALL CHAIRS ) WAS UNFORTUNATELY FORCED TO FOREGO THEM IN FAVOUR OF SAID CHAIRS A CERTAIN DEGREE OF DISCOMFORT BEING NECESSARY TO WARD OFF UNCONSCIOUSNESS %MMA 4HOMPSON
4HIRSTY WORK FOOD IS AN ESSENTIAL AT THESE EVENTS 0HOTOGRAPH BY %MMA 4HOMPSON
ITS ENTIRETY 7ATCHING AN ENTIRE OR EVEN EPISODE SERIES IN ONE SITTING IS MUCH MORE EFlCIENT TIME WISE THAN THE SOCIETY S NORMAL PRACTICE OF ONE EPISODE A WEEK AND IT S SATISFYING TO WATCH THE WHOLE STORY UNINTERRUPTED IN THEORY PERSONALLY ) HAD NO IDEA WHAT WAS GOING ON BY THE END 0ERHAPS THE MOST IMPOR TANT ASPECT HOWEVER IS THE ATMOSPHERE OF LIKE MINDED PEOPLE GETTING TOGETHER TO DO SOMETHING THEY ENJOY AND THE MADNESS THAT ENSUES 4HE THEORY PROPOSED BY .ICK 2OBERTSON lRST YEAR #-0 NAMELY THAT hYOU CAN EAT ANYTHING WITH CHOPSTICKSv TOOK A GREAT DEAL OF IN DEPTH RESEARCH /NLY ONE CONCLUSION WAS REACHED SEE BELOW 3O WHERE WAS ) AT PM ON &RIDAY
THIRD YEAR ")/ AT THE 5NIVERSITY OF ,IVER POOL INSISTED hSIT ON THE UNCOMFORTABLE TABLE 4HERE S NO WAY YOU LL FALL ASLEEP ON THE UNCOMFORTABLE TABLEv THEN TO MY GREAT ADMIRATION FOLLOWED HER OWN ADVICE FOR THE WHOLE HOURS 3O YES ) WENT TO BED EARLIER THAT 3ATUR DAY THAN ) HAVE FOR OVER TEN YEARS AND MY ONLY GLIMPSES OF DAYLIGHT WERE THROUGH A lRE EXIT AH THE SUN OVER .ELSON #OURT IS A BEAUTIFUL SIGHT BUT COME THE NEXT MARATHON ) WILL ONCE AGAIN BE DRAGGING MY TRUSTY RED SUITCASE OUT FROM UNDER THE BED AND DUSTING IT OFF &INALLY THE RESULTS OF OUR RESEARCH IT REALLY ISN T POSSIBLE TO EAT YOGHURT WITH CHOPSTICKS
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/H 5%! IS WONDERFUL AND HERE S WHY )N HOMAGE TO THE CLASS OF AND ONE OF THE FINEST AND MOST EXCITING YEARS IN 5%! HISTORY !NNA 3TEWARD WOULD LIKE TO LOOK BACK OVER THE ACADEMIC YEAR AND CELEBRATE ALL THE ACHIEVEMENTS OF STUDENTS AND STAFF
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OMETIMES SOMETHING OR SOMEONE TAKES YOU COMPLETELY BY SURPRISE WITHIN THAT MOMENT YOU SEE AND FULLY APPRECIATE THE LIVES PEOPLE AND PLACES THAT MAKES 5%! (AVING A CLOSED CAMPUS FOCUSES ALL THE ACTIVITY SO IT CAN BE EASY FOR EXTRAORDINARY THINGS TO SEEM NORMAL (OWEVER THE MORE YOU VISIT OTHER UNIVERSITIES THE MORE YOU REALISE HOW LUCKY WE ARE TO HAVE THE CAMPUS THAT WE DO AT 5%! 4HERE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING GOING ON WHETHER IT S A FARMER S MARKET THE DRAMA SOCIETY SINGING OUTSIDE THE STUDIO OR FRISBEE IN THE 3QUARE &ROM THE START OF THE YEAR IN 3EPTEMBER TO THIS EARLY SUMMER LET S JUST SAY WE VE COME A LONG WAY BABY 4HIS YEAR SEEMS THAT MORE THAN EVER THERE IS A SENSE OF UNITY CAMARADERIE AND @GOOD TIMES 4HE YEAR BEGAN WITH &ACEBOOK COM ING TO 5%! ,ITTLE DID WE KNOW THAT IT WOULD CHANGE THINGS SO MUCH 7OULD AS MANY PEOPLE BE SEMI NAKED SWINGING THEIR SHIRTS TO "AYWATCH IF IT WASN T FOR THE @DUUG A DUUG A DUUG GROUP 7OULD mASHMOB HAVE TAKEN OFF AS MUCH AS IT HAS 7E THINK NOT !T THE BEGINNING OF THE YEAR THERE WAS ALSO THE ONGOING MYS TERY THAT WAS PSYCHEDELIC AND GOLD PAINTED POST BOXES BEING TRANS FORMED ACROSS THE CITY 3TUDENTS ALSO ARRIVED TO BE GREETED BY THE NEWS THAT 5%! CAME TOP IN SEVERAL SUR
,ITTLE DID WE KNOW THAT IT WOULD CHANGE THINGS SO MUCH 7OULD AS MANY PEOPLE BE SEMI NAKED SWINGING THEIR SHIRTS TO "AYWATCH IF IT WASN T FOR THE @DUUG A DUUG A VEYS AND LATER ON TO BE INFORMALLY GREETED BY ALL THE INITIATIONS THAT DUUG GROUP TOOK PLACE IN THE !UTUMN SEMESTER
4HIS SEMESTER ALSO SAW "LACK (IS TORY -ONTH HAPPEN 0ETE $OHERTY LEAVE HIS MARK ON 5%! IN THE FORM OF A BROKEN WINDOW THE ANARCHIST AND /4# CLASH AT 3OC-ART LECTUR ERS ASKED TO SPY ON STUDENTS 5%! STUDENTS ARRESTED AT A BLOCKADE IN 3COTLAND AND THE .53 !DMISSION )MPOSSIBLE MARCH TAKING PLACE IN ,ONDON 4HERE HAVE ALSO BEEN SOME INCREDIBLE PARTIES THAT HAVE TAKEN PLACE OVER THE LAST YEAR 4HE )NTERNA TIONAL 0ARTY WAS HELD IN THE 3PRING SEMESTER AND WAS INGENIOUS WITH ITS BOARDING STYLE ,#2 TICKETS AND PASS PORTS )MAGINE IF YOU CAN A BUFFET
&IRST #LASS 0RANK
THAT STRETCHES AROUND THE WHOLE ,#2 STARTING WITH 4HAI DISHES BE SIDE THE FRONT DOOR AND lNISHING IN THE (IVE WITH FOOD THAT WAS MADE WITH INGREDIENTS FROM BESIDE THE ,AKE #RAZY BUT TRUE )F YOU MISSED THE )NTERNATIONAL 0ARTY THIS YEAR THEN YOU RE AN IDIOT (ARSH MAYBE BUT ONCE YOU VE GONE YOU LL REALISE WHAT YOU VE BEEN MISSING AND WILL LITERALLY KICK YOURSELF 4HE ARRAY OF FREE FOOD CAUSED A NEAR STAMPEDE THIS YEAR SO COME EARLY NEXT TIME TO AVOID BEING TRAMPLED ON AND EVEN WORSE MISSING THE DARK CHOCOLATE TRUFmES -MMM THEY TASTE TOO GOOD .EXT UP WE HAD THE -EDIA 0AR TY HOSTED BY ,IVEWIRE .EXUS AND #ONCRETE )T WAS THE SHIZEL SNIZEL TWISEL !FTER A NIGHT OF PERFORMANC ES FROM MANY OF THE AMAZING CLUBS AND SOCIETIES IT CULMINATED IN A DISCO AND ENDED WITH A HALF EMPTY DANCEmOOR OF WILD PEOPLE SLUR RING THE WORDS OF @/H 5UU%EE!A IS WONDERRRRFUL -ORE RECENTLY WE HAD THE #!3!S WHICH CELEBRATED ALL THE ACHIEVEMENTS OF 3OCIETIES AND #LUBS THIS YEAR 4HE &ILM3OC /SCARS PARTY IS ALSO FAST BECOMING A HIGHLIGHT ON THE 5%! CALENDAR AS A LARGE CROWD OF lLM LOVERS CONVERGE TO BOOGIE ON DOWN THROUGH THE NIGHT IN THEIR GLAD RAGS WHILST /SCAR RESULTS mOOD IN 4HERE HAVE ALSO BEEN A NUMBER OF EVENTS THIS YEAR TO RAISE AWARE NESS OF CERTAIN ISSUES AND ALSO TO RAISE MONEY 4HE -AKE 0OVERTY
(ISTORY SHANTY TOWN IN THE 3QUARE WAS A GREAT WAY TO RAISE AWARE NESS AS WAS THE -ISS 5%! CONTEST THEY HELD LATER IN THE YEAR 'REEN $AYS AND (EARING !ID WERE ALSO AMAZING AND !RT FOR E!24H S 3AKE WAS A CRACKING NIGHT ORGANISED BY THE #AMPUS 3USTAINABILITY )NITIATIVE 3OCIETY #HANGE )) WAS ALSO A HUGE SUCCESS AND A PRIME EXAMPLE OF WHAT WE CAN ACHIEVE WHEN WE CLUB TOGETHER 4HEY MADE AROUND a AND HAD PER FORMANCES AND INVOLVEMENT FROM 2OCK 'OSBAL #HOIR "IG "AND AND !RT 3OC -ANY INDIVIDUALS HAVE ALSO WORKED HARD THIS YEAR TO RAISE MONEY AND AWARENESS OF ISSUES
)MAGINE A BUF FET THAT STRETCHES AROUND THE WHOLE ,#2 STARTING BE SIDE THE FRONT DOOR AND lNISH ING IN THE (IVE
4O MENTION BUT A FEW #AROLINE +EMP (ARRIS ORGANISED SEVERAL SUC CESSFUL CHARITY EVENTS THIS YEAR SUCH AS THE -ACMILLAN COFFEE MORNING .EIL *ENNINGS HAS FOUGHT HARD TO INITIATE THE @SWITCH OFF CAMPAIGN !LSO 0HOTO3OC MANAGED TO PER SUADE MORE PEOPLE THAN YOU CAN SHAKE A CAMERA AT TO GET NAKED 7E WISH WE KNEW THEIR SECRET 7HEN WE ASKED STUDENTS TO SUG GEST PEOPLE WHO DESERVE RECOGNITION THERE WERE MANY NAMES THAT KEPT POPPING UP *ACQUI "LICK WAS ONE OF THESE /NE STUDENT SAID h*ACQUI HAS RUN 3ASSAF FOR THE PAST TWO YEARS ALMOST SINGLE HANDEDLY 3HE S MAN AGED TO RAISE ITS PROlLE CONSIDER ABLY GETTING LINKS WITH THE 6OLUN TEERS 3OCIETY AND THE -AKE 0OVERTY (ISTORY 3OCIETY SO THAT EVENTS LIKE #HANGE GIVE THE MONEY THEY RAISE TO 3ASSAF TO HELP THEIR 3OUTHERN !FRI CAN CHARITIES v !NOTHER SAID h3HE S MANAGED TO KEEP RUNNING 3ASSAF DURING HER lNAL YEAR TAKING A LOT OF RESPONSIBILITY THAT MOST OF US WOULD SHY AWAY FROM ) DON T KNOW HOW SHE DOES IT v *OE 4HOMPSON IS ANOTHER PERSON WHO MANY STUDENTS BELIEVE IS A 5%! LEGEND FOR HIS hSPORTING EXCEL LENCE AND FOR MAKING 5%! A NICER PLACE FOR EVERYONE v !DIL (AZARA hFOR SERVING STUDENTS BEING AN ALL ROUND NICE GUY ON TOP OF BEING AN )4 WHIZ v 3IMON $UNK hFOR ALL HIS EFFORTS WITH -0( THIS GUY TRULY CARES AND HAS PUT SO MUCH EFFORT
INTO WHAT HE BELIEVES IN (E lGHTS REALLY HARD TO MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE WITHOUT JUDGING PEOPLE IF THEY DON T AGREE WITH HIS POINT OF VIEW v 4HERE ARE SO MANY STUDENTS WHO MAKE A DIFFERENCE BE IT THE lRST AIDERS WHO VOLUNTEER AT THE ,#2 THE PEOPLE WHO MAN THE PHONES AT .IGHTLINE PIRATES WHO DRESS UP AS ANIMALS TO RAISE MONEY FOR CHARITY MEN WEARING DRESSES OR WOMEN WEARING NOTHING BUT BUNNY EARS AND A TAIL 4HE RANGE OF TALENT AND INSPIRATIONAL PEOPLE WE HAVE HERE AT 5%! IS TOO SPRAWLING TO MENTION IN ONE FEATURE (OWEVER WE HOPE YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND THAT YOUR EFFORTS DON T GO UNNOTICED
,OVE WAS IN THE AIR
.AUGHTY 0ETE LEFT HIS MARK 5%! 3TUDENTS ARRESTED
5%! TURNED GREEN
%X 5%! STUDENT WINS MORE THAN YOU EVER COULD ON ONE OF THE QUIZ MACHINES IN THE BAR #AMPUS CAT FOUND SAFE AND SOUND
0HOTO3OC MAN AGED TO PERSUADE MORE PEOPLE THAN YOU CAN SHAKE A CAMERA AT TO GET NAKED 7E WISH WE KNEW THEIR SE CRET
#OKE CAME AND WENT AND CAME BACK AGAIN
9OU CAN LEAVE YOUR CAP ON
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7EDNESDAY ND -AY
,IFESTYLE $EAR $AISY #ONCRETE S AGONY AUNT DEAR DAISY HOTMAIL CO UK
7ELCOME TO -Y 7ORLD
$EAR $AISY ) HAVE BEEN HAVING A GREAT TIME AT 5%! THIS YEAR IT TRULY HAS BEEN ONE OF THE BEST OF MY LIFE ) HAVE BEEN TO HOUSE PARTIES GOT MORE INVOLVED WITH SOCIE TIES AND GOT DRUNK MORE TIMES THAN IS STRICTLY GOOD FOR ME (OWEVER IN THE LAST WEEK ) HAVE BEEN STRUCK WITH THE TERRIFY ING REVELATION ) HAVE DONE NO WORK FOR MY EXAMS ) VE ALWAYS BEEN THE TYPE OF PERSON THAT DOES THEIR ESSAYS AT THE LAST MINUTE AND THIS YEAR HAS BEEN NO DIFFERENT ) HAVE PULLED A COUPLE OF ALL NIGHTERS AND ALTHOUGH MY GRADES HAVEN T BEEN SPEC TACULAR ) VE NOT LOST ANY SLEEP OVER THEM !S A POLITICS STUDENT THOUGH ) GET MY ESSAY TITLES AT THE BEGINNING OF TERM AND SO HAVE ONLY BEEN REALLY PAYING ATTEN TION IN LECTURES DIRECTLY RELEVANT TO THE QUESTION ) WENT TO ALL THE OTHER SEMI NARS AND LECTURES AND TOOK SOME NOTES BUT NONE OF THEM REALLY SEEM TO MAKE ANY SENSE TO ME .OW ) AM REALLY BEGINNING TO PANIC OVER MY EXAMS ) HAVE STARTED TO REVISE AND A LOT OF THE NOTES ARE LIKE LOOKING AT SOMEONE ELSE S WORK 4HERE ARE ONLY A FEW WEEKS NOW TILL MY EXAMS AND ) FEEL LIKE ) HAVE TO LEARN WHOLE UNITS OVER AGAIN WITH NO HELP WHATSOEVER $AISY WHAT SHOULD ) DO ,AST -INUTE 7ORRIER $EAR 7ORRIER /+ )DEALLY YOU WOULDN T HAVE GOT YOURSELF INTO THIS SITUATION IN THE lRST PLACE )F THIS IS NOT YOUR THIRD YEAR THEN NEXT YEAR YOU REALLY NEED TO GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER 9OU COME TO UNIVERSITY TO STUDY THE OTHER STUFF IS IMPORTANT BUT IT SHOULD NOT BE YOUR MAIN FOCUS )N TODAY S COMPETITIVE MARKET WHEN SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE DEGREES IT IS GOOD TO DO EXTRA STUFF BUT DON T FORGET TO PRIORI TISE AND BALANCE YOUR TIME WELL .OW THAT TICKING OFF IS lNISHED WITH WE CAN FOCUS ON GETTING YOU THROUGH THESE EXAMS &IRST OF ALL THERE IS ALWAYS HELP 3HARE NOTES WITH YOUR FRIENDS GET NOTES FROM BLACKBOARD AND GO AND SEE YOUR TUTOR LECTURER NOW 4HE NEXT STEP IS TO GO TO THE LIBRARY AND PHO TOCOPY PAST EXAM PAPERS 3TART WITH THE SUBJECTS YOU FEEL SKETCHY WITH lRST AND AS YOUR TIME IS LIMITED LEARN STUFF THAT COULD BE USED IN DIFFERENT CONTEXTS AND FOR DIFFERENT QUESTIONS +EEP IN MIND THAT ALL THIS HARD WORK WILL PAY OFF AND YOU WILL HAVE ONE OF THE LONGEST AND BEST SUMMERS AFTERWARDS 4HERE ARE MANY WAYS TO REVISE THROUGH PICTURES MIND MAPS SONGS RHYMES ETC "RAIN STORM ALL THE THINGS YOU KNOW ABOUT EACH SUBJECT BEFORE YOU EVEN LOOK AT YOUR NOTES THEN LOOK AT YOUR SYLLABUS 4HEY CAN ONLY ASK YOU QUESTIONS FROM THIS 'OOD LUCK n LET $AISY KNOW HOW YOU DO $AISY XXX
(ELPFUL NUMBERS AND E MAIL ADDRESSES #OUNSELLING SERVICE !DVICE #ENTRE 7ELFARE /FlCER SU WELFARE UEA AC UK .IGHTLINE NIGHTLINE UEA AC UK
0HILOSOPHY 3TUDENT
)N OUR BID TO INCLUDE ALL MINORITIES AND SHINE A LIGHT ON DISCRIMINATION WE EXAMINE ONE OF 5%! S MINORITY GROUPS !NDY *ONES SHARES HIS EXPERIENCES AS A PHILOSOPHER
4
HERE IS A CREEP ING DISCRIMINA TION IN OUR SO CIETY THAT IS NOT TAKEN SERIOUSLY ) AM SPEAKING OF COURSE ABOUT THE SHEER BILE THAT IS DIRECTED AT PHILOSOPHY STUDENTS 4HE ROLL OF THE EYES THE GENTLE TUT THE SAD SLOW SHAKE OF THE HEAD !LL YOU TRY TO DO IS TELL PEOPLE ABOUT YOUR COURSE BUT YOU CAN SEE THEIR EYES HAVE ALREADY GLAZED OVER 4HIS ISN T THE WORST OF IT ) PERSONALLY CAN TALK FOR QUITE A LONG TIME EVEN WHEN ) KNOW SOMEONE ISN T LISTEN ING AS MANY PEOPLE IN THE #ONCRETE OFFICE WILL TELL YOU )T S JUST THE FACT THAT NO MAT TER WHAT YOU SAY AS SOON AS YOU LINK IT IN ANY WAY TO YOUR COURSE PEOPLE JUST DON T CARE ) REALLY DO FEEL MYSELF TO BE SOMEWHAT LIKE 7INSTON #HURCHILL IN THE S %VERY TIME HE WARNED EVERYONE THAT (ERR (ITLER WAS UP TO NO GOOD PEOPLE WOULD JUST TUT TO EACH OTHER AND EVERY TIME ) LINK "ATMAN TO .IETZSCHE S ÄBERMENSCH AND THE PER PETUAL OVERCOMING OF THE HUMAN CONDITION PEOPLE TELL ME ) M JUST BEING LUDICROUSLY PRETENTIOUS 4HIS DISCRIMINATION SPREADS FURTHER THAN JUST CASUAL TUTING &RIENDS ) HAVE KNOWN SINCE MY SCHOOL DAYS HAVE TOLD ME THAT PHILOSO PHY HAS COMPLETELY RUINED ME AS IF ) HAD STARTED TAKING HEROIN RATHER THAN QUESTING AFTER THE ULTIMATE MEANING OF EXISTENCE /NE FRIEND IN PAR TICULAR REFUSED TO SPEAK TO ME AFTER WE HAD FINISHED WATCH ING A WESTERN AND ) RAISED
) WAS ACCUSED OF BEING LUDI CROUSLY PRETEN TIOUS BUT ) THINK AS THIS BRIEF EXISTENTIALIST FILM NOIR ) HAVE SCRIPTED PROVES ) AM IN NO WAY PRETENTIOUS
THE POINT THAT THE DISCOURSE OF THE WESTERN GENRE WAS A PART OF THE POWER KNOWLEDGE RELATIONSHIP HIGHLIGHTED IN &OUCALT S $ISCIPLINE AND 0UN ISH ) WAS ACCUSED OF BEING LUDICROUSLY PRETENTIOUS BUT ) THINK AS THIS BRIEF EXISTENTIAL IST FILM NOIR ) HAVE SCRIPTED PROVES ) AM IN NO WAY PRE TENTIOUS 3CENE ;3CENE BEGINS IN BLACK AND WHITE IN A KITCHEN *EAN IS STOOD BY A COOKER AND $O MINIQUE IS SAT AT THE TABLE WITH A GLASS OF RED WINE THAT HAS BEEN HALF DRUNK OR HALF LEFT 3HE HAS A LIT CIGARETTE IN HER LEFT HAND AND HER BERET IS ALMOST FALLING OFF HER HEAD= $OMINIQUE 1UAND EST LE FIN *EAN * ADORE 3CENE ;4HIS SCENE IS IN COLOUR )T TAKES PLACE IN THE COUPLE S BEDROOM "OTH ARE NAKED ON THE BED EXCEPT $OMINQUE STILL HAS HER BERET ON= $OMINIQUE 1UAND EST LE FIN *EAN * ADORE 3CENE ;3CENE IS IN BLACK AND WHITE )T IS A CLOSE UP OF A BALLERINA WITH A SOLITARY TEAR RUNNING DOWN HER CHEEK= #LOWN # EST LE FIN /THER FRIENDS HAVE BE COME ANGRY AT MY MISUSE OF PHILOSOPHY 7HILST IN "IR MINGHAM AND SLIGHTLY INEBRI ATED ) PROVED THAT ALTHOUGH
MY FRIEND HAD BOUGHT THE LAST ROUND IT WAS HIS ROUND AGAIN BECAUSE OF THE CIRCULAR NATURE OF TIME (IS PRECIOUS PHYSICS WHICH HE IS ALLOWED TO TALK ABOUT BY THE WAY ASSERTED THAT TIME IS INFI NITE )N ORDER FOR US TO EXIST IN A SPECIFIC OR FINITE PART OF TIME WOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE AS AN INFINITE NUMBER OF TIMES MUST HAVE PROCEEDED THIS FI NITE TIME 7HICH IS OF COURSE IMPOSSIBLE KEEPING UP 4HEREFORE IN ORDER TO BE BOTH INFINITE AND POSSIBLE AS THE REAL WORLD APPEARS TO BE IT WOULD HAVE TO BE CIRCULAR WITH THE SAME TIME RECURRING OVER AND OVER AGAIN (ENCE IT WAS HIS ROUND AGAIN DESPITE THE FACT HE HAD JUST BOUGHT ONE (OW THIS IS A MISUSE OF PHILOSOPHY IS BEYOND ME )F ANYTHING #HRIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN GRATEFUL THAT ) HAD TAK EN TIME OUT FROM MY EDUCA TION TO THROW SOME LIGHT ON HIS INFERIOR SUBJECT 4O SUMMARISE ALL THE PROPOSITIONS THAT HAVE PRE CEDED ME TO THIS POINT ) HAVE DECIDED TO ELUCIDATE UPON THEM BY MEANS OF A DIAGRAM 4HE FOLLOWING DIAGRAM DEM ONSTRATES QUITE NICELY THE DISCRIMINATION WE PHILOSO PHY STUDENTS FACE EVERY DAY ) FEEL THAT IT S TIME PEOPLE REALIZED THE DAMAGE THEY ARE DOING TO US PHILOSOPHY STU DENTS WHEN THEY CHASTISE US OR REFUSE TO LISTEN "Y UNDER MINING US IN THIS WAY THEY MAY FORCE US TO GIVE UP PHI LOSOPHY ALTHOGETHER AND DO SOMETHING IN THE REAL WORLD AND WHAT A WASTE THAT WOULD BE ,E &IN
7EDNESDAY ND -AY #/.#2%4%
&OOD
-AN FOOD TO -ICHELIN IN THREE YEARS 4HIS FORTNIGHT &OOD IS DEDICATED TO THE MASOCHISTIC MALE OF LIMITED COOKING ABILITY 4HOSE OF YOU WHO THINK THIS MAY APPLY READ ON %VERYONE ELSE GO AND DO SOMETHING USEFUL WITH YOU TIME 4HERE ARE MANY THINGS ) WILL DO AND LOVE DOING )NDEED ) AM RENOWNED FOR CHARG ING AROUND THE PLACE AND DOING ACTIVITIES WHICH ARE SURPRISING BECAUSE THEY ARE A CONTRADICTION IN TERMS OF MY PERSONALITY 9ET DESPITE THIS THERE IS ONE AREA WHERE ) AM A TOTAL FAILURE COOKING (AVING A BIT OF AN EGO AND THAT S AN UNDERSTATEMENT ) HAVE ALWAYS TRIED MOST THINGS AND GIVEN UP IF ) AM UNINTERESTED #OOKING SHOULD BE ONE OF THESE BUT DESPITE THAT ) HAVE ALWAYS PERSEVERED "UT OH MY THERE HAVE BEEN DISASTERS ALONG THE WAY .OW THIS ARTICLE IS VERY MUCH WRITTEN FOR THE MASOCHISTIC MALE OF
LIMITED COOKING ABILITY EVERYONE ELSE GO AND DO SOMETHING USEFUL WITH YOUR TIME %VER SINCE ) SPENT A FEW DAYS ON 3ALISBURY 0LAIN EATING + RATIONS COURTESY OF THE "RITISH !RMY ) HAVE ALWAYS HAD A SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT VIEWPOINT WHEN IT COMES TO EATING &OR MOST PEOPLE IT IS A CHANCE TO RELAX AND ENJOY EXQUISITE CUISINE BUT FOR ME A MEAL IS A CHANCE TO GET THE ENERGY ) NEED TO KEEP LIVING MY LIFE AT THE FAST PACE ) DO 4HEREFORE AS LONG AS ) DON T DIE MORE ON THAT LATER OR FEEL HUNGRY ONE HOUR LATER THAT S GOOD ENOUGH 4HIS HAS MEANT THAT IN THE PAST MY COOKING SKILLS HAVE BEEN NOTORIOUS FOR THEIR SIMPLIC ITY AND LACK OF SOPHISTICA TION %XAMPLES THAT MY lRST YEAR HALL MATES WILL REMEMBER INCLUDE EATING PESTOED PASTA REPEATEDLY SOMETIMES TWICE IN A DAY AND A STEAK THAT LOOKED MORE BLACK THAN JUICY 4HIS LAST ONE WAS A PARTICULAR FAVOURITE FOR BEING THE BUTT OF JOKES TO WHICH ) WOULD RESPOND THAT ) WAS SO WORRIED ) WOULD POISON MYSELF ) WOULD ALWAYS OVER COOK IT ) THINK CARBONISED ENTERS THE MIND HERE 4HE ARRIVAL OF A GIRLFRIEND MEANT ) HAD TO REFORM MY @SLIGHTLY UNSKILLED WAYS !T THIS POINT ) HAVE TO POINT OUT FOR ALL MY FAULTS ) NEVER EAT FROZEN FOODS ESPECIALLY READY MADE MEALS 4AKE AWAYS ARE KEPT TO A MINIMUM AS IS JUNK FOOD EXCEPT BIS
CUITS THAT S ONE VICE ) CANNOT ERADICATE 4HE PROBLEM WITH GETTING A GIRLFRIEND IS THAT THEY WILL NOT AND SHOULD NOT ACCEPT THE REPEATED DISHES OF PASTA RICE BEANS LENTILS BURNT STEAKS AND EGGS THAT HAVE A TENDENCY TO FORM THIS ATH LETE S DIET 4HIS IS SOMETHING WHICH WAS SLOW TO ENTER MY MIND YET LUCKILY SAID GIRLFRIEND NEVER GAVE UP AND UNBEKNOWN TO HER WE DIDN T LAST HER EX HAS NOW TURNED INTO A BIT OF A KEEN COOK ) HAVE TO EMPHASIS THE @KEENNESS HERE BECAUSE AL THOUGH ) AM NOT BURNING KITCHENS DOWN ONLY HAPPENED ONCE DESTROYING MY MOTHER S PANS HAPPENED TWICE OR LEAV ING THE HOBS ON HAPPENS ALL THE TIME ANY MORE ) AM STILL SOME WAY OFF BEING A 46 CHEF DESPITE BEING SURE THAT ) CAN USE THE F WORD MORE OFTEN THAN SOME ) DO MAINTAIN SOME BAD HABITS MY FAVOURITE VEGETABLES ARE CARROTS AS ALL ONE HAS TO DO IS PEEL THEM AND THEN THEY ARE READY TO BE EATEN !T THIS POINT ) FEEL ) SHOULD ADMIT TO SOMETHING EVEN WORSE THAN WHAT YOU HAVE READ SO FAR ) HAVE A &RENCH MOTHER AND A JOLLY GOOD COOK SHE IS )T SEEMS SLIGHTLY ODD THAT ) HAVE MANAGED TO SLIP THROUGH THE ANCESTRAL SIEVE AND TURN INTO AN ACTUAL DANGER IN THE KITCHEN 9ET DESPITE THIS SEEMINGLY NO HOPE OF A SITU ATION THIS AUTHOR HAS NEVER GIVEN UP ON IMPROVING HIS DIET 3O THERE IS HOPE FOR ANYONE WHO THINKS THEY ARE IN THE SAME SITUATION /UT OF DESPERATE NEED THIS ATHLETE WHO IS RATHER
KEEN AND COMPETITIVE HAS TURNED INTO A DECENT COOK 4HE USE OF A FEMALE FRIEND IS CRITICAL )F YOU HAVEN T GOT ONE BEFRIEND ONE THEY WILL BE YOUR SALVATION 3UGGESTS THAT SHE TAKES YOUR ROUND A SUPERMARKET FOR IDEAS SHE MIGHT ASK FOR YOU TO COME OUT CLOTHES SHOPPING IN RETURN WITH THE h(OW DO ) LOOK IN THIS v COMING OUT ALLOT AND MAYBE COMES ROUND TO YOURS TO HELP YOU ASSEMBLE ALL THE INGREDIENTS INTO ONE SUMPTUOUS DISH 6ERY GOOD FOR SEDUCING SAID FRIEND BY THE WAY -UM IS ALSO A REAL SOURCE OF IDEAS 4HINK ABOUT ALL THOSE DISHES THAT SHE MAKES AND YOU LOVE ASK FOR THE RECIPES AND NEXT TIME YOU GO HOME ASK HER TO SHOW YOU /THER WAYS INVOLVE GETTING INVOLVED WITH THE COOKING CLUB OR DO ONE BETTER LIKE YOURS TRULY LIVE WITH THE PRESIDENT 3HE MAY NOT HAVE TIME FOR YOUR OUTDATED METHODS BUT BY SEEING HER AROUND THE KITCHEN YOU ARE BOUND TO PICK SOME IDEAS UP 4HE LATTER IS ALSO VERY USEFUL IF YOU VE OFFERED TO COOK FOR YOUR DREAM GIRL A MEAL SHE WILL ALMOST CERTAINLY TAKE PITY ON YOU AND GIVE YOU SOME FRIENDLY POINTERS TO HELP YOU OUT /LDER &RENCH MEN ARE ALSO A VERY GOOD SOURCE OF IDEAS HANG AROUND THEM LONG ENOUGH AND YOU WILL HAVE TOO BECAUSE CONVERSATION IS IMPORTANT AND YOU SHOULD A TRICK OR TWO 7HATEVER HAPPENS ALWAYS TAKE YOUR MISTAKES WITH A PINCH OF SALT ALTHOUGH AT THE TIME THEY MAY NOT SEEM FUNNY AND YOU BELIEVE YOU DON T HAVE A CHANCE WHEN YOU LOOK BACK YOU WILL HAVE PLENTY OF STORIES AND MORE IMPORTANTLY OF ALL THROUGH TRIAL AND ERROR YOU WILL SUCCEED WHATEVER HAPPENS PERSEVERANCE IS THE KEY
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7EDNESDAY ND -AY
452&
%AST !NGLIA S SEASIDE CHARMS ! WEE GUIDE TO THE "LUE &LAG AWARDED BEACHES SCATTERED AROUND US
)
N %AST !NGLIA WE ARE LUCKY ENOUGH TO HAVE NEARLY BEACHES THAT HAVE BEEN AWARD ED THE PRESTIGIOUS HONOUR OF A "LUE &LAG (ERE WE TAKE A TRIP OVER THE SAND lNDING OUT WHAT MAKES THEM SO SPECIAL ,ET US BEGIN IN OUR FAIR COUNTY OF .ORFOLK THE .ORTH .ORFOLK COAST AT (UNSTANTON BOASTING BEAUTIFUL RED AND WHITE STRIPED CLIFFS A SEA LIFE CEN TRE AND A BEACH THAT S CLEANED DAILY MAKING IT A LOVELY SPOT FOR A WALK ALONG THE SHORE -OVING DOWN THE COAST TO #ROMER AND 3HERINGHAM TWO OF .ORFOLK S MOST WELL KNOWN SEASIDE TOWNS THE BEACHES HERE ON THE .ORTH .ORFOLK COAST WILL DELIGHT YOU WITH THEIR BLEND OF OLD TEASHOPS AND NEW AMUSEMENTS n CHECK OUT THE 0ACMAN P MACHINE IN #ROMER 4HE STRETCH OF COAST FROM -UNDES LEY TO 3EA 0ALLING IS A TREAT "OTH TOWNS THEMSELVES HOST SMALL BEACHES AND DUE TO BEING RELATIVELY UNKNOWN BY MANY PEOPLE THEY ARE THE PERFECT PLAC ES TO VISIT FOR SOME PEACE AND QUIET .OW TO THE MIGHTY 'REAT 9ARMOUTH CENTRAL BEACH n $ESPITE ANY PRECON CEPTIONS YOU MIGHT HAVE ABOUT A PLACE DUBBED BY SOME AS hA POOR MAN S "LACKPOOL v THERE IS NO DENYING THE
AMOUNT OF CLEAN SAND STRETCHING OUT ALONG THE COAST HERE 3LIPPING FURTHER SOUTH STILL TO THE BEACH AT 'ORLESTON IT S CLOSE TO THE TOWN AND WITH CLIFF TOP WALKS GALORE YOU WON T BE BORED ON A DAY TRIP TO ONE OF THE QUIETER BEACHES IN THIS lNE COUNTY /UR BELOVED NEIGHBOUR 3UFFOLK IS HOME TO SOME EQUAL COASTAL TREASURES SUCH AS ,OWESTOFT NORTH BEACH AND THE BEACH SOUTH OF #LAREMONT 0IER n THESE BEACHES ARE AN EXCELLENT PLACE TO VISIT IF YOU LIKE TO BUILD A SANDCASTLE OR TWO WITH TRUCKLOADS OF THE YELLOW STUFF AS FAR AS THE EYE CAN SEE 3OUTHWOLD 0IER IS OUR NEXT HIGHLIGHT DOWN THE COAST AND AS WITH MANY OF 3UFFOLK S BEACHES 3OUTHWOLD ENCOM PASSES BOTH SAND AND SHINGLE (OWEV ER THIS DOES NOT DETRACT FROM A LOVELY BEACH OR FROM A SEAFRONT SHOP THAT DOES EQUALLY LOVELY lSH AND CHIPS &ELIXSTOWE SOUTH BEACH THE l NAL "LUE &LAG PORT OF CALL ON OUR TRIP THROUGH 3UFFOLK AND ALTHOUGH THERE HAS BEEN A BIT OF TROUBLE WITH PARTS OF THE BEACHES IN &ELIXSTOWE ERODING AWAY ALMOST OVERNIGHT THE SOUTH PART OF THE BEACH REMAINS INTACT $OTTED WITH BEACH HUTS AND SHINGLE IT IS THE PERFECT PLACE FOR A SUMMER EVENING
STROLL -OST LIKELY THERE ARE A FEW THINGS YOU ALREADY ASSOCIATE WITH %SSEX AHEM BUT THE BEACHES SHOULD BE ONE OF THEM "RIGHTLINGSEA "EACH IS LO CATED BETWEEN #OLCHESTER AND #LACTON AND IS THE IDEAL PLACE TO GO FOR A GOOD DAY OUT ESPECIALLY IF YOU LIKE SAILING n IT S FAMOUS FOR IT $OVERCOURT "AY IS A GEM AND AL THOUGH YOU MIGHT NOT WANT TO GO TO THE SEASIDE TO SEE THE 0ORT OF &ELIX STOWE DON T LET THE VIEW DISTRACT YOU AS YOU BASK IN THE SUNSHINE ON THIS LESSER KNOWN %SSEX BEACH /UR NEXT STOP IS *UBILEE "EACH AND 4HREE 3HELLS "EACH AT 3OUTHEND &A MOUS FOR THE MILE LONG PIER 3OUTHEND ALSO BOASTS SOME OF THE BEST BEACHES IN %AST !NGLIA -ANY A DAY CAN BE WHILED AWAY ON THE GOLDEN SANDS OF *UBILEE OR 4HREE 3HELLS AN ICE CREAM IN ONE HAND AND A PLATE OF COCKLES IN THE OTHER /UR lNAL STOP ON THE SANDY TOUR IS #OM MON "EACH AND %AST "EACH 3HOEBURY n ONLY A FEW MILES ALONG THE COAST FROM 3OUTHEND IT SEEMS THAT SOUTH %SSEX KNOWS HOW TO KEEP ITS BEACHES IN TIPTOP CONDITION &IONA "ILLINGS
/UR ENVIRONMENT FOR 3ANNAH -ALIK S HIGH HOPES FOR 5%! S GREENER FUTURE !S %NVIRONMENT /FlCER ) WILL FOCUS ON GETTING SOME GREAT CAMPAIGNS DONE THIS COMING YEAR 4HERE ARE MANY WAYS FOR EVERY STUDENT TO GET INVOLVED .EXT YEAR STUDENTS CAN GET INVOLVED WITH A VARIETY OF PROJECTS INCLUDING EDUCATING MORE PEOPLE ABOUT THE AMOUNT OF WASTE THEY PRODUCE HELPING TO INTRODUCE COMPOST ING IN THE UNION THROUGH THE 0ERMACUL TURE 3OCIETY AND CONTINUING EFFORTS WITH MYSELF AND THE %THICAL /FlCER TOWARDS UNIVERSITY &AIRTRADE STATUS !NOTHER COMMITMENT OF MINE WILL BE WORKING WITH #2ED TO COME UP WITH SOLUTIONS FOR STUDENTS TO BE MORE ENERGY EFlCIENT IT WOULD BE GREAT TO HAVE SOME WIDER STUDENT CONTRIBUTION IN THIS ) ALSO WANT TO WORK TOWARDS ACHIEVING @GREEN STATUS AS A UNIVERSITY AND HOLDING FOUR HIGHLY PUBLICISED 'REEN $AYS WHICH WILL INCORPORATE ENVIRONMENTAL AND ETHICAL AWARENESS AND PROJECTS )N ORDER TO GET GREEN STATUS ) WILL LOBBY THE 5NIVERSITY FOR &ULL TIME %NVIRONMENTAL -ANAGE MENT 3TAFF AND TRY AND GET AS MUCH SUP PORT FROM STUDENTS AS POSSIBLE SO EVEN IF STUDENTS CAN T CAMPAIGN FOR THIS JUST SIGNING THE PETITION WILL BE A GREAT STEP !LSO ) WOULD ENCOURAGE PEOPLE NOT ONLY TO ATTEND THE 'REEN $AYS EVENTS BUT ALSO TO BECOME PART OF THEM 4HIS IS
A GREAT OPPORTUNITY FOR STUDENTS TO HAVE LOTS OF FUN AND TO HAVE SOMETHING GREAT TO PUT ON THEIR #6 /THER PLANS INCLUDE ENCOURAGING SOCIAL AWARENESS SOCIETIES SUCH AS -AKE 0OVERTY (ISTORY GREEN MINDED CLUBS AND GROUPS THAT WANT TO PERFORM PRODUCE SOME INTERNATIONAL WORLD WORK 4HE AIM OF THE EVENTS WILL BE TO CONVEY TO PEOPLE HOW ENVIRON MENTALLY CONSCIOUS 5%! STUDENTS ARE AND HOW MUCH MORE IS STILL YET TO BE ACHIEVED &OLLOWING ON FROM THE SUCCESS FUL 'REEN $AYS ORGANISED BY "EN -EAK ER THERE WILL BE STALLS FROM THE FARMERS MARKET FACE PAINTERS JUNK STALLS #3) AND MORE TAKING PLACE THROUGHOUT THE DAY %VENING EVENTS WILL CONSIST OF EITHER GUEST SPEAKERS COMING TO DISCUSS CLIMATE CHANGE OR RELEVANT lLMS AND DOCUMEN TARIES BEING SHOWN )F POSSIBLE IT WOULD BE FANTASTIC TO HOLD SOME OUTDOOR EVENTS IN THE 3QUARE SO THAT MORE PEOPLE CAN GET INVOLVED AND TRY TO COINCIDE THE 'REEN $AYS WITH THE @3WITCH /FF SCHEME TO RAISE FURTHER AWARENESS 4HESE 'REEN $AYS WOULD HOPEFULLY ENCOURAGE STUDENTS TO LIVE A MORE SUSTAINABLE LIFE BY PORTRAYING THE VALUE OF CARING FOR THE ENVIRONMENT BOTH ON A LOCAL AND GLOBAL SCALE !LONG WITH CAMPAIGNING FOR ENVI
RONMENTAL AWARENESS ) WILL WORK TO MAKE IMPROVEMENTS ON SMALLER EVERY DAY THINGS STUDENTS CAN DO #OMPARED TO OTHER UNIVERSITIES CAMPUS RESIDENCES AT 5%! DO A LOT OF RECYCLING BUT THERE IS ROOM FOR MUCH MORE TO BE DONE )T WOULD BE GREAT TO HAVE A CENTRAL AREA FOR CARRIER BAGS MOBILE PHONES AND #$ RE CYCLING AND TO LOBBY THE 5NION TO USE RECYCLABLE CUPS WHETHER RECYCLABLE PLAS TIC CUPS OR BIODEGRADABLE PAPER CUPS 4HE GREEN WING PROVIDES A FORUM FOR STUDENTS IN DIFFERENT ENVIRONMENT RELATED GROUPS AND SOCIETIES TO FOCUS ON CAMPUS WIDE PROJECTS !NOTHER KEY AIM FOR MY TERM AS %NVIRONMENT /FlCER IS TO INITIATE THE MOVE TOWARDS ECO FRIENDLY LIBRARY SERVICES INCLUDING USING RECYCLED PAPER FOR PRINTING AND PHOTOCOPYING &INALLY ) LL MAKE A PUSH FOR MORE SUP PORT FROM THE 5NIVERSITY AND MAKE SURE THAT CARBON OFFSETS ARE BEING OFFERED TO CUSTOMERS AT THE 5NION 4RAVEL 3HOP 4HE BEST WAY TO GET INVOLVED IS TO KEEP A LOOK OUT FOR ENVIRONMENT RELATED EVENTS TAKING PLACE ALL OVER CAMPUS AND TO GET IN TOUCH WITH ANY IDEAS YOU HAVE AT 3U ENVIRONMENT UEA AC UK !ND SPREAD THE GREEN WORD TO FRIENDS AND FAMILY
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7EDNESDAY ND -AY
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%CO WEB
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XAMS ARE LOOMING WHICH CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING 2EVI SION AVOIDANCE TECHNIQUES %COWEB HAS BEEN EXTREMELY BUSY DREAMING ABOUT PLACES FAR FAR AWAY FROM THE LIBRARY AND THOSE OF YOU PLANNING TO TRAVEL THIS SUMMER OR MAYBE EVEN FOR THE NEXT YEAR LUCKY SOULS WILL NO DOUBT BE DOING THE SAME 7E VE PUT TOGETHER A LIST OF WEBSITES AIMED AT HELPING YOU TO PLAN AN ECO FRIENDLY TRIP ! GREAT STARTING POINT IS ECOFRIENDLYTOUR IST COM 4HIS PROVIDES INFORMATION ON HOLIDAYS IN THE 5+ INCLUDING GREEN AC COMMODATION )T ALSO HAS A GREAT STEP GUIDE TO ETHICAL TRAVEL INCLUDING TIPS ON HOW TO AVOID @GREENWASHING AND ADVICE FOR THOSE THINKING ABOUT VOLUNTEERING OVERSEAS PLUS PLENTIFUL LINKS TO RELATED WEBSITES
"ETTER "LUSHER .ATASHA "ARNES ON ANIMAL TESTING IN COSMETICS
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S ANY MORAL HUMAN BEING SHOULD BE AWARE TO USE ANI MALS AS TEST SUBJECTS FOR INGREDIENTS USED IN COSMETIC PROD UCTS IS FUNDAMEN TALLY AND INHERENTLY WRONG 4HESE HELPLESS CREATURES SHOULD NEVER BE MADE TO SUFFER FOR THE PLAIN AND SIMPLE REASON OF HUMAN VANITY %SSENTIALLY IT IS A TOSS UP BETWEEN AN ANIMAL S LIFE AND SOME RED POWDER TO DRAW MORE ATTENTION TO THE CONTOURS OF YOUR CHEEKBONES 0UT LIKE THIS AND THE MISERY BEHIND THE MAKEUP BE COMES MORE OF AN ISSUE "EFORE GOING ANY FURTHER ON THE ANIMAL LIBERATION FRONT HOWEVER ) WILL CONFESS TO US ING COSMETICS FROM CERTAIN COMPANIES WHO HAVE NOT HAD GOOD PRESS WHEN IT COMES TO THEIR ANIMAL TESTING POLICIES 4O BE HONEST BEFORE RESEARCHING THIS ARTICLE THE RIGHTS OF ANIMALS WERE NOT HIGH ON MY AGENDA OF CONCERNS ) HAVE ALWAYS BEEN OF THE OPINION IN A SIMILAR WAY TO MOST PEOPLE WITH WHO ) HAVE DISCUSSED THE ISSUE THAT TO TEST ON ANI MALS FOR MEDICAL REASONS CAN ALWAYS BE JUS TIlED IF THIS IS THE MOST EFFECTIVE AND TELLING WAY TO ASSESS THE EFFECTS -Y STANCE BECOMES A LITTLE HARDER TO ESTABLISH HOWEVER WHEN THE PRODUCTS THAT THESE ANIMALS ARE SUFFER ING FOR EXIST PURELY FOR SUPERlCIAL REASONS )T BECOMES EVEN HARDER THEN WHEN ) HAVE A TRUE BELIEF THAT THE WESTERN PHILOSOPHY ON IMAGE AND OUTER BEAUTY WILL NEVER OR WILL TAKE A LONG TIME TO CHANGE 7OMEN AND INCREASINGLY NOW MEN WILL CONTINUE TO BUY COSMETICS AND TOILETRIES REGARDLESS OF HOW THEY ARE TESTED IN ORDER TO BE SAFE &OR THOSE THAT ARE A LITTLE MORE CON CERNED WITH THE WAY OUR CONSUMERIST AT TITUDES AFFECT THESE CREATURES HOWEVER IT IS HARD EVEN TO lND A DElNITIVE LIST OF COMPA NIES WHO ACTUALLY DO NOT TEST ON ANIMALS AT ALL !N OBJECTIVE APPROACH IS DIFlCULT TO lND AS IT BECOMES COMPLICATED WHEN YOU WANT TO REMAIN SMELLING NICE BUT HAVE A MORAL ATTITUDE !FTER TRAWLING THE )NTERNET ALL THAT
CAN BE FOUND IS EITHER AN ABUNDANCE OF ANTI TESTING WEBSITES CLAIMING THAT EVEN THE MOST TRUSTED OF COMPANIES ARE IMMORAL LOCKING UP WILD RABBITS AND SUBJECTING THEM TO TESTS WHILST RESTRAINING THEM BY ELECTRIC SHOCKS HORRIlC PHOTOS ARE OF COURSE INCLUDED OR THE COSMETIC COMPANIES THEMSELVES CLAIM ING THAT THEY NEVER HAVE AND NEVER WILL EN DORSE ANY TESTING ON ANIMALS FOR EITHER THEIR lNISHED PRODUCTS OR ANY OF THE INGREDIENTS IN THEM AND WHO CAN T TRUST PRETTY GLOSSY WEBSITES WITH AN ABUNDANCE OF COLOUR AND PROMISE OF FREE GIFTS 3LOWLY IT BECOMES A CHORE TO STAY ETHICAL WHICH SEEMS TO BE THE PRECISE REASON WHY SO MANY OF US ARE NOT IT TAKES ENOUGH ENERGY TO WRITE AN ESSAY SO WHY SHOULD WE BE EX PECTED TO WORK WHEN IT COMES TO SHOPPING !ND WORK IS PRECISELY WHAT IS REQUIRED WHEN THE LABELLING ON COSMETICS REALLY DO NOT GIVE THE FULL PICTURE %VEN IF A PRODUCT IS LABELLED AS @NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS THE COMPANY MAY STILL HAVE TESTED A lNISHED PRODUCT TESTED INDIVIDUAL INGREDIENTS OR A COMBINATION OF THEM CONTRACTED A THIRD PARTY COMPANY TO PERFORM ANY OF THE ABOVE OR USED A SUBSIDI ARY OR THIRD PARTY COMPANY TO PERFORM THE TESTS IN COUNTRIES WHERE ANIMAL TESTING IS NOT BANNED &OR THIS REASON MANY OF THESE PRUDUCTS CANNOT BE TRUSTED )N THE 5+ AP
PROVED PROUDUCTS CARRY THE "5!6 !PPROVED SYMBOL WHICH IS NOT COMMON TO MANY COSMETIC BOTTLES TUBES OR TUBS 0ERHAPS EVEN MORE WORRYINGLY COMPA NIES THAT HAVE BEEN TRUSTED FOR A LONG TIME BY THE MASSES AS REPRESENTATIVES FOR ETHICALLY PRODUCED PRODUCTS HAVE RECENTLY BEEN @OUT ED AS JUST AS BAD AS THE REST 4HE "ODY 3HOP FOR EXAMPLE SAYS ON ITS WEBSITE h4HE "ODY 3HOP IS !GAINST !NIMAL 4EST ING FOR COSMETIC PURPOSES 7E BELIEVE NO ANIMALS SHOULD BE HARMED FOR THE PURPOSES OF PRODUCING OUR PRODUCTS 4HERE IS AN ABUNDANCE OF INGREDIENTS THAT ENABLE US TO CONTINUE PRODUCING THE HIGHEST QUALITY IN NOVATIVE EFFECTIVE AND SAFE PRODUCTS FOR YOU WITHOUT THE NEED FOR HARMING ANIMALS v 4HE "ODY 3HOP HOWEVER WAS TAKEN OVER BY , /REAL IN -ARCH , /REAL IS A &RENCH COMPANY AND THE LARGEST COSMETIC COMPANY IN THE WORLD &RANCE PROTESTED THE PROPOSED NEAR TOTAL BAN ON THE SALE OF ANIMAL TESTED COSMETICS THROUGHOUT THE %5 FROM AND THE BANNING OF ALL COSMET ICS RELATED ANIMAL TESTING 4HE TAKEOVER BY , /REAL THUS MAKES IT HIGHLY UNLIKELY THAT 4HE "ODY 3HOP INTENDS TO CONTINUE ITS STANCE AGAINST ANIMAL TESTING /THER COMPANIES SUCH AS "OOTS 3ANCTU ARY RANGE ARE TOTALLY AGAINST ANIMAL TESTING WHILE !VON AND ,USH #OSMETICS CLAIM TO USE AND FUND RESEARCH INTO ALTERNATIVES TO ANIMAL TESTING WHILST ALSO USING DATA FROM PAST ANIMAL EXPERIMENTS #URRENTLY POPULAR ALTERNATIVES INCLUDE IN VITRO TESTING USING CELL CULTURES OR SIMPLY HUMAN VOLUNTEERS MORE EFFECTIVE YET INlNITELY MORE DANGER OUS )N LIGHT OF THIS ) CAN T HELP BUT WONDER WHY SHOULD THERE BE ANY NEED FOR FURTHER TESTING OF ANY KIND FOR COSMETICS 3URELY WE HAVE GOT TO THE POINT WHERE MASCARA WHICH ACCENTUATES YOUR EYELASHES THAT LITTLE BIT MORE OR A LIPSTICK WHICH STAYS ON FOR THAT LITTLE BIT LONGER SHOULD BE THE LEAST OF OUR WORRIES
/NE OF THE ORIGINAL AND BEST WEBSITES IN THIS AREA IS WWW RESPONSIBLETRAVEL COM WHICH HAS A HUGE RANGE OF HOLIDAYS AVAIL ABLE !S WITH MOST TRAVEL SITES YOU CAN SEARCH BY REGION AND DATE BUT YOU CAN ALSO SEARCH BY TYPE OF HOLIDAY SUCH AS @CY CLING @WILDLIFE OR BEST OF ALL @BUDGET WWW ETHICALESCAPE CO UK IS ANOTHER SITE PROVIDING TRAVEL AND HOLIDAY INFORMATION THAT AIMS TO MINIMISE ENVIRONMENTAL IMPACT AND SUPPORT LOCAL COMMUNITIES )T IS A GOOD POINT FOR INFORMATION TOO AS IT HAS LINKS TO SITES PROVIDING TRAVEL AND HEALTH ADVICE AND OFFERS TRAVEL INSURANCE FROM AN ETHICAL PROVIDER -ANY OF THESE HOLIDAYS INVOLVE mYING WHICH ACCORDING TO THE )NTERGOVERNMEN TAL 0ANEL ON #LIMATE #HANGE IS ONE OF THE FASTEST GROWING SOURCES OF POLLUTION ! GREAT ALTERNATIVE IS TO TRAVEL BY TRAIN .OT ONLY DOES IT CREATE FEWER EMISSIONS THAN AIR TRAVEL IT S MORE OF AN ADVENTURE TOO 4RY WWW SEAT COM FOR ALL THE INFORMA TION YOU COULD NEED ABOUT RAIL TRAVEL BOTH WITHIN THE 5+ AND WORLDWIDE 4HIS SITE WON THE AWARD FOR "EST 4RAVEL 7EBSITE IN THE 7ANDERLUST 4RAVEL !WARDS AND IT S EASY TO SEE WHY 4HE @-AN IN 3EAT 3IXTY /NE IS CLEARLY PASSIONATE ABOUT TRAIN TRAVEL AND CAN HELP YOU PLAN ENTIRE JOURNEYS BY PROVIDING INFORMATION ABOUT BOTH TRAIN AND SHIP ROUTES (OWEVER YOU CHOOSE TO GET TO YOUR DESTI NATION YOU CAN EASE YOUR CONSCIENCE AND OFFSET ANY TRAVELLING YOU DO BY PAYING TO @NEUTRALISE THE CARBON DIOXIDE YOU CREATE 4HIS CAN BE DONE AT WWW CLIMATECARE ORG A WELL ESTABLISHED SITE THAT EXPLAINS THE LOGIC BEHIND CARBON OFFSETTING AND MAKES IT EASY FOR YOU TO WORK OUT HOW MUCH CARBON DIOXIDE YOU HAVE CREATED THROUGH CAR AND PLANE TRAVEL &INALLY WHEN YOU COME BACK TO 5%! NEXT YEAR AND YOUR TRIP SEEMS A LONG WAY PAST PROLONG YOUR MEMORIES AND INSPIRE OTH ERS BY WRITING ABOUT YOUR ECO FRIENDLY AD VENTURE IN #ONCRETE S TRAVEL PAGES (APPY (OLIDAYS 2OSIE "RADLEY "UNN
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7EDNESDAY ND -AY
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3TUDENT 3TRIFE "ELOW IS A SELECTION OF WORK FROM STUDENTS CURRENTLY TAKING THE 0RACTICAL *OURNALISM COURSE AT 5%! !LL ARTICLES WERE WRITTEN WITH ONE COMMON AIM TO DESCRIBE THE NEGATIVE ASPECTS OF STUDENT LIFE AT 5%! )N THIS WAY #ONCRETE HOPES TO PROVE THAT THE BANE OF COURSEWORK CAN RESULT IN OUTRIGHT JOY WHEN ONE SEES ONE S PIECE OF WORK PRINTED FOR THE PUBLIC TO SEE
3TUDENT DEBT IS UNAVOIDABLE
,OVE THY MOTHER
,YNNE 0EARSON
!RTEMIS 0ANTELIDES
/NE OF THE MOST FRUSTRATING ASPECTS OF STUDENT LIFE IS THE WAY IN WHICH NO MAT TER HOW HARD YOU TRY BEING SERIOUSLY IN DEBT IS UNAVOIDABLE "EFORE ALL YOU JAMMY PEOPLE WHO LEFT SCHOOL AT AND NOW HAVE FULL TIME JOBS SHOUT GLEEFULLY hOH YEAH SUCH A HARD LIFE GETTING UP AT AM EVERY DAY AND NOT HAV ING TO PAY INCOME TAX 3TOP YOUR WHININGv DON T JUDGE A GIRL BEFORE YOU HAVE WALKED A MILE IN HER 0RIMARK SHOES 7HILE ) M SURE THAT STUDENT LIFE DOES INDEED HAVE MANY PLUS POINTS NO ONE RE ALLY CARES IF YOU GET SO DRUNK THAT YOU THINK IT S HILARIOUS TO SPEND THE REST OF THE NIGHT WITH A TRAFFIC CONE ON YOUR HEAD AND THE LIE INS APART FROM THOSE POOR SOULS WHO HAVE THE OCCASIONAL AM LECTURE REALLY ARE AMAZING "UT ) M ALSO GUESSING THAT THERE IS NO GREATER FEELING THAN STANDING IN THE MID DLE OF 4OPSHOP AND KNOWING JUST KNOWING WITH CERTAINTY THAT YOU CAN SPEND a ON THAT GORGEOUS DRESS WITHOUT ANY GUILT BE CAUSE YOU KNOW DAMN WELL YOU VE WAITED ALL MONTH LONG UNTIL PAY DAY TO GET IT
"EING EITHER CONSISTENTLY IN DEBT OR CONSTANTLY ON THE VERGE OF IT MEANS THAT ) CANNOT INDULGE IN MY SHOE ADDICTION AND MY SERIOUSLY WORRYING LOVE OF HANDBAGS !ND ) M NOT TALKING ABOUT YOUR 'UCCIS AND YOUR 0RADAS HERE /H NO ) M TALKING ABOUT THE a VERSIONS IN 2IVER )SLAND %VEN WHEN ) DO HAVE THOSE hOH SOD ITv MOMENTS WHEN IT COMES TO BUYING CLOTHES THE HIGH OF BUYING MYSELF SOMETHING PRET TY LASTS ALL OF OH ) DON T KNOW FIVE MIN UTES 4HE GUILT ALSO GETS MUCH MUCH WORSE WHEN MY MONTHLY BANK STATEMENT ARRIVES WHICH IS WHEN ) START THE USUAL DESPERATE ATTEMPT AT CONVINCING MYSELF hAH IT DIDN T LOOK THAT GOOD ANYWAY MAYBE ) LL TAKE IT BACKv ) NEVER DO
-ORTALITY ! SCARY SUBJECT "UT ONE ) HAVE FELT SURROUNDED BY FOR A WHILE NOW !LL OUR LIVES ESPECIALLY NOW AT THE CAREER DECISION STAGE WE ARE URGED TO MAKE DECISIONS ABOUT OUR FUTURE SOMETIMES FOR DECADES IN ADVANCE ) GOT A PENSION LETTER WHEN ) TURNED 7HAT IF WE NEVER REACH THAT FUTURE 7HAT ) FIND EVEN SCARIER IS THAT WE HAVE NO CONTROL OVER OUR OWN MORTALITY 'ENETICS FATAL ACCIDENTS AND TERMINAL ILL NESSES ARE ALL OUT OF THE SPHERE OF OUR PER SONAL CONTROL 3URE WE TRY TO LIVE HEALTHY LIFESTYLES "UT HOW MUCH CAN THAT REALLY CHANGE THE ODDS -ORBID AS IT SOUNDS THIS IS WHAT S BEEN ON MY MIND THE LAST FEW DAYS -ORTALITY HAS BEEN EVERYWHERE IN MY LIFE RECENTLY )N THE NEWS THERE WERE THE 6IRGINIA 4ECH UNIVERSITY SHOOTINGS LAST WEEK AND ALSO HIGH PROFILE PERSONALITIES LIKE +URT 6ONNEGUT AND "ORIS 9ELTSIN "UT A COUPLE OF EVENTS MANAGED TO BRING THE SUBJECT CLOSER TO HOME ,AST WEEK THE FATHER OF A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE PASSED AWAY SUDDENLY AGED
3HE S BACK AT HOME NOW WITH HER FAMILY BUT WHAT A HORRIFIC THING TO GO THROUGH WHEN YOU RE LIVING OVERSEAS !DDITIONALLY TWO DAYS AGO A GOOD FRIEND OF MY DAD S GAVE IN TO A SIX YEAR LONG BATTLE WITH LUNG CANCER (E WAS ONLY )T HAS REALLY MADE ME THINK ABOUT MORTALITY IN A NEW LIGHT ONE THAT HADN T REALLY ENTERED MY MIND UNTIL NOW 3URE WE RE ALL GOING TO DIE AND ) VE AL WAYS BEEN A REALIST IN ACCEPTING THAT "UT WHICH TEEN EVER REALLY THINKS OF THE POS SIBLE CONSEQUENCES WHEN THEY TELL THEIR PARENTS @) HATE YOU WHEN THEY SNEAK OUT OF THE HOUSE LATE AT NIGHT WHEN THEY GO OFF TO UNI AND NEVER CALL ) NEVER GAVE ANY OF IT A SECOND THOUGHT UNTIL NOW 4HE IDEA THAT THE LAST THING MY PARENTS CAN REMEM BER ME SAYING AND AS AN ANGST RIDDEN TEENAGER NO LESS COULD HAVE BEEN h) HATE YOU ) M GOING OUT TO GET AWAY FROM THIS SHIT v IS MORTIFYING -AYBE IT DOES NEED SOMETHING LIKE THE DEATH OF A CLOSE ONE TO ERASE THE @WE HAVE FOREVER TO DO WHATEVER OUTLOOK AND ) M GLAD ) FEEL THIS WAY NOW BEFORE IT S TOO LATE 4ODAY S LESSON APPRECIATE WHAT YOU HAVE !ND REMEMBER TO CALL -UM
) .EED -Y %SSAYS #HARLOTTE (IBBERT
3O IT S THAT TIME OF THE YEAR AGAIN %SSAY AND EXAM TIME /H JOY %VERY TIME IT BEGINS IN THE SAME WAY ) TELL MYSELF THIS TIME IT WILL BE DIFFERENT 4HIS TIME ) WILL START EARLY ) LL CHOOSE MY ESSAY QUESTION AS SOON AS ) GET THE OPTIONS GET BOOKS OUT OF THE ,IBRARY BEFORE EVERYBODY ELSE MAKE LOADS OF NOTES GET THE ES SAY WRITTEN IN PLENTY OF TIME SO ) CAN REALLY RELAX AND ENJOY THE END OF TERM 4HIS TIME (A 3O ) CHOOSE MY QUESTION EARLY GET ALL MY BOOKS OUT OF THE ,IBRARY FEEL A REAL SENSE OF ACCOMPLISHMENT AND THENxWELL THEN ALL MY GOOD INTENTIONS FALL BY THE WAYSIDE AS ) SPEND HOURS SAT IN FRONT OF 4HIS
-ORNING DRINKING TEA AND CONVINC ING MYSELF ) LL DO SOME WORK @AFTER THIS x/NCE AGAIN n HA ) WILL OF COURSE SUDDENLY REAL ISE THE QUESTION ) SO SMUGLY CHOSE WEEKS AGO IS ACTUALLY TERRIBLE BUT ) M STUCK WITH IT BECAUSE ALL THE BOOKS FOR THE GOOD QUESTIONS ARE GONE !ND SO MUCH FOR RELAXING AND ENJOYING THE LAST WEEK OF TERM n IT WILL INEVITABLY mY BY IN A PANICKY CAFFEINE FUELLED BLUR AS ) DESPERATE LY TRY TO CATCH UP WHILST CONSTANTLY WONDERING IF ALL THAT PROCRASTINA TION WAS REALLY WORTH IT AND PROM ISING MYSELF IT WILL ALL BE DIFFERENT NEXT TIMEx /NCE THE ESSAYS ARE HANDED IN YOU WOULD THINK THAT WOULD BE THE END OF IT "UT NO ) AM NEVER HAPPY WITH ANY PIECE OF WORK ) DO AND AM ALWAYS CONVINCED ) HAVE JUST HANDED IN THE WORST ESSAY ANYONE HAS EVER WRITTEN %VER !ND SO MY FRIENDS HAVE TO ENDURE DAYS OF CON
STANT ANALYSIS OF WHY ) AM DESTINED TO FAIL MY DEGREE BECAUSE ) FORGOT TO INCLUDE THAT QUOTE BY WHATS HIS NAME OR DIDN T USE THAT BOOK BY SO AND SO 0ART OF THE REASON ) GET SO WOR RIED ABOUT ESSAYS IS THE FACT THAT SO MUCH HANGS ON THEM BECAUSE ) AM TRULY TERRIBLE AT EXAMS ) MEAN REAL LY TRULY AWFUL )T DOESN T MATTER HOW WELL ) KNOW THE SUBJECT HOW MANY HOURS AND HOURS ) SPEND CRAMMING MY HEAD WITH ENDLESS 3HAKESPEARE QUOTES OR FACTS ABOUT THE 3EC OND 7ORLD 7AR THE SECOND ) WALK THROUGH THOSE EXAM HALL DOORS IT S AS IF EVERYTHING ) EVER KNEW ABOUT WELL ANYTHING REALLY HAS FALLEN OUT OF MY HEAD *UST THE THOUGHT OF THOSE HOR RIBLE SMALL DESKS THE TICKING CLOCK THE PACING EXAMINER THE SCRATCHING SOUND OF OTHER PEOPLE BUSY WRITING BUSY NOT FAILING THEIR DEGREE HAS MY PALMS SWEATING AND MY STOM
ACH DOING GYMNASTICS THE 2USSIANS WOULD BE PROUD OF )T S AS IF THE RA TIONAL SIDE OF MY BRAIN n THE SIDE THAT TELLS ME ) M NOT A COMPLETE DUNCE ) DO KNOW MY STUFF AND ) DO ACTUALLY DESERVE TO BE HERE AT UNI n GOES INTO HIDING THE MOMENT EXAM TIMETABLES ARE ANNOUNCED ) SWEAR IT IS WATCHING ME FROM A DISTANCE CHUCKLING TO ITSELF AS ) STRUGGLE ALONG
WITH THE OTHER UTTER MANIACAL HALF THAT SCREAMS hYOU RE RUBBISH !AG GGH YOU DON T KNOW ANYTHING v AT ME AS ) DESPERATELY TRY TO DREDGE UP QUOTES AND DATES AND PUT THEM INTO SOME KIND OF ORDER "UT OF COURSE IT WILL ALL BE DIF FERENT THIS TIMEx
7EDNESDAY ND -AY
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#OMMENT
4HE ,#2 IS BAD FOR YOU !NONYMOUS
4HE ,#2 IS CLEARLY ONE OF THE MOST VENERABLE INSTI TUTIONS AT THIS AUGUST BAS TION OF EDUCATION 2ICH OR POOR OLD OR YOUNG EVEN A FRIEND OF MINE WHO DOESN T DRINK ALCOHOL EVERYONE CAN APPRECIATE THE WONDERS OF THE ,#2 4HE PLACE HAS A MAGIC ALL OF ITS OWN THAT ALL GRADUATES WILL TAKE WITH THEM WHEN THEY VENTURE OUT INTO THE BIG BAD WORLD DESPITE THE
FACT THAT IT IS ESSENTIALLY A DARK ROOM WHERE LOUD MUSIC IS PLAYED 4HERE IS HOWEVER A DARKER SIDE TO EVERYONE S FA VOURITE STICKY mOORED EMPTY ROOM 0ROMISE BREAKING IS REACHING ENDEMIC PROPOR TIONS IN WHAT SHOULD BE THE MOST SACRED PART OF THE 5%! 3TUDENTS 5NION 4HESE AREN T SIMPLY PROMISES THAT EVERYONE EXPECTS TO BE BRO KEN LIKE NEW YEAR S RESOLU TIONS OR POLITICAL MANIFESTOS .O THESE ARE BIGGIES THINGS THAT RUIN PEOPLE S LIVES AND REDUCE THEM TO OBJECTS OF FUN AND RIDICULE FOR THEIR
FRIENDS AND RELATIVES ) BELIEVE A RECENT CASE WITH IDENTITIES CHANGED TO PROTECT THE INNOCENT WILL FULLY ILLUSTRATE MY POINT 4WO GENTLEMEN WHO ARE REASONABLY WELL ACQUAINTED WERE TOLD BY TWO LADY FRIENDS THAT THEY WOULD AGREE TO KISS IF THE TWO GENTLEMEN WOULD ! SEEMINGLY FAIR DEAL EN TERED INTO IN THE SPIRIT OF THE ,#2 ! COIN TOSS WAS USED TO DETERMINE WHICH COUPLE SHOULD GO lRST WHICH THE BOYS LOST (ONOURING THEIR SIDE OF THE BARGAIN THEY KISSED AND ASSUMED THE GIRLS WOULD OBLIGE )MAGINE HOW
SHOCKED AND APPALLED THEY WERE WHEN THE GIRLS DECIDED THEY HAD SEEN ENOUGH AND WOULD NOT BE HONOURING THEIR TERMS OF THE BARGAIN 4HIS IS AN ABANDONMENT OF EVERYTHING THE ,#2 STANDS FOR )F YOU CAN T TRUST THE WORD OF A DRUNKEN STUDENT AT A UN ION ENDORSED EVENT WHO CAN YOU TRUST ) HAVE TRIED ALL YEAR TO WRITE CONSTRUCTIVE ARTICLES GIVING SOLUTIONS RATHER THAN PROBLEMS BUT ) AM NOW GO ING TO SAY WHAT ) HAVE KNOWN IN MY HEART FOR A LONG TIME 4HE COUNTRY HAS GONE TO THE DOGS /UR GRANDEST INSTITU TIONS HAVE BEEN REDUCED TO
SEEDY PEEP SHOWS WITH LEER ING DRUNKS WOOPING OBNOX IOUSLY 7E REALLY ARE HEADING FOR HELL IN A HAND CART 4HE REAL TRAGEDY HERE IS THAT IN A WORLD WHERE PEO PLE ARE STARVING DYING FROM PREVENTABLE DISEASE AND KEPT IN PRISON FOR FOLLOWING THEIR CONCSCIENCE ) HAVE HAD TO USE AN OPINION PIECE TO BASI CALLY MAKE EVERYONE AWARE OF A DRUNKEN #ONCRETE IN JOKE 3HAME ON YOU YOU WHO BREAK YOUR PROMISES AT THE ,#2 FOR IT IS YOU WHO HAVE REDUCED ME TO THIS
TO WHAT WE LEARN WHILST AT UNIVERSITY ,ECTURES AT 5%! ARE INTER ESTING OCCASIONS 7E SIT AND WE LISTEN OFTEN IN OUR HUN DREDS WE MAKE NOTES WE OFTEN WRITE ESSAYS AND GIVE PRESENTATIONS 7E READ +ARL -ARX AND DREAM OF SOCIALIST REVOLUTIONS THAT ARE SIMPLY A JOKE 7E ARGUE ABOUT PEO PLE S WANTS AND NEEDS CLAIM ING TO REPRESENT THEM BUT NEVER ASKING THEM 7HEN ) GO CANVASSING ON THE COUNCIL ESTATES SURROUNDING THE 5NI VERSITY NOT ONE PERSON SAYS h9OU KNOW WHAT WE NEED A REVOLUTION v 7HAT THEY DO SAY IS THAT WE NEED MORE PO LICE ON OUR STREETS WE NEED
MORE AFFORDABLE HOUSING BETTER STANDARDS IN SCHOOLS AND BETTER CARE IN OUR HOS PITALS 4HESE ARE THE POSITIVE CHANGES POLITICAL ACTION CAN BRING ABOUT 9OUR VOTE ON -AY RD COULD CHANGE PEOPLE S LIVES )T IS NOT A RIGHT THAT SHOULD BE TOSSED ASIDE IT CARRIES RESPONSIBILITY TOO 6OTING SHOULD NOT BE @A TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT THING 3O BEFORE YOU VOTE TAKE TIME TO LOOK OUTSIDE THE 5%! BUBBLE !ND WHATEVER YOU DO FROM DRAMA TO POLITICS LOOK OUT WARDS TO THE COMMUNITY IN WHICH YOU LIVE 9OU REALLY CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE
9OU #AN -AKE ! $IFFERENCE
/PITALK BY ,OUIS (OLDING 0ARSONS $EPUTY %DITOR
#ORRECTION
)N AN ATTEMPT TO DENOUNCE RACISM AND THE COMPARISON OF PEOPLE BASED ON THEIR RACE ) INADVERTENTLY USED WHAT HAS TO BEEN POINTED OUT TO BE AN OUTDATED TERM WHICH HAS RACIST CONNOTA TIONS )N LAST ISSUE S /PITALK ) USED THE TERM @HALF CASTE WHEN ) SHOULD IN FACT HAVE SAID @MIXED RACE 4HIS WAS IN NO WAY INTENTIONAL AND ) DID NOT SEEK TO OFFEND ANYONE
3UNBATHING "EN 7EALTHY ,AST 4HURSDAY ) WENT TO SEE A SERIES OF PERFORM ANCES AT THE DRAMA STUDIO UNDER THE BANNER OF @OUT REACH )T S A PROJECT DRIVEN BY STUDENTS AND TAKEN TO THE HEART OF THE COMMU NITIES OF .ORWICH ) WAS INSPIRED BY THE DRAMA BUT ABOVE ALL BY THE SENSE THAT PERFORMANCE COULD BE USED AS A GREAT TOOL TO BRING COMMUNITIES TO GETHER AND TACKLE ISSUES SUCH AS HEALTHY EATING 0OLITICS IS ANOTHER SUCH
TOOL /N 4HURSDAY RD -AY THE GOOD PEOPLE OF .ORWICH WILL GO TO THE POLLS TO ELECT LOCAL COUNCILLORS HOPEFULLY YOU WILL BE AMONG THEM /THER ELECTIONS ARE ALSO HAPPENING UP AND DOWN THE COUNTRY IN 7ALES AND IN 3COTLAND 4HE RESULTS WILL AFFECT EVERYBODY FROM EVERY CORNER AND COMMUNITY 0EO PLE FROM ALL BACKGROUNDS BELIEFS RELIGIONS RACES AND CLASSES WILL HAVE THE OPPOR TUNITY TO HAVE A SAY IN HOW OUR COMMUNITIES ARE LED 3ADLY TOO FEW OF US STUDENTS WILL TAKE SUCH AN OPPORTU NITY /VER THE LAST FEW WEEKS ) ALONGSIDE OTHER STUDENTS
HAVE BEEN WORKING TO SUP PORT CANDIDATES IN THE FORTH COMING ELECTIONS IN .ORWICH CANVASSING AND LEAmETING )N THE LAST LOCAL ELECTION ONE WARD WAS WON BY A MERE VOTES 3O IT REALLY IS INTEREST ING HOW YOUR VOTE INmUENCES THE OUTCOME ) VE BEEN SEEING THE DIF FERENCE POLITICS CAN MAKE NOT JUST AT A NATIONAL LEVEL BUT AT LOCAL LEVEL TOO 0OLITICS AS WELL AS DRAMA CAN BRING ABOUT WONDERFUL CHANGE 0OLITICAL LEADERSHIP CAN EN SURE EVERYTHING FROM HAVING MORE POLICE ON THE STREETS TO TAKING TOUGH ACTION ON THE ENVIRONMENT "UT IT S OFTEN A VERY DIFFERENT TYPE OF POLITICS
#OURSEWORK EXTENSIONS THROW @EM IN THE LAKE "LAIR #AMPBELL )T IS THAT TIME AGAIN 9OU HAVEN T SLEPT FOR HOURS CAN T GET THE BOOKS YOU NEED AND THE DEADLINE IS THIS AFTERNOON 3O YOU GET AN EXTENSION 7E VE ALL DONE IT 7ELL ) HAVEN T AC TUALLYx /NE THING ) LEARNT FROM MY BRIEF DIGRESSION WITH THE -ARINES BEFORE UNIVERSITY WAS THAT @PERSONAL ADMIN IS PARAMOUNT )F YOU CAN T LOOK AFTER YOUR PERSONAL HYGIENE OR EQUIPMENT IN PRACTICE WHY SHOULD YOU BE TRUSTED TO ON THE BATTLElELD 1UITE SO 4HE SAME TRANSLATES INTO
HIGHER EDUCATION ) M NOT SUGGESTING WE IN DOCTRINATE ALL STUDENTS BY HAV ING 5NION OFlCERS WALK THEM KNEE DEEP INTO THE LAKE GET THEIR KEKS OFF AND SHOW THEM HOW TO WASH !LTHOUGH GIV EN THE FUNK IN THE BAR MOST DAYS ) WOULD FERVENTLY SUP PORT ANY SUCH MOTION TO 5N ION #OUNCIL !NYWAY ) MEAN BY OBSCURE ANALOGY TO SUGGEST THAT IF YOU ARE SET A DEADLINE YOU MEET IT )F YOU ARE GIVEN A TASK YOU COMPLETE IT )F YOU HAVE COURSEWORK TO HAND IN THAT YOU HAVE KNOWN ABOUT FOR TWELVE WEEKS YOU DAMN WELL HAND IT IN 4HAT S HOW THE WORLD WORKS !ND IF LIKE ME YOU SEE HIGHER EDUCATION ) WOULD SAY @DEGREE BUT GOVERNMENT
BEAN COUNTERS WILL POINT OUT THAT (N$S AND THE LIKE ARE BEING BLOTTED OUT AS A LARGE PORTION OF HARD WORK WITH A GOOD DOLLOP OF FUN ON THE SIDE YOU MAY BE SELF CON SCIOUSLY NODDING IN ASCENT TO THE GENERAL SENTIMENT OF THE ABOVE !FTER ALL ISN T A DEGREE WHAT THE HELL ALL ABOUT PREPARATION FOR THE REAL WORLD !ND IN THE REAL WORLD THERE IS A DISTINCT LACK OF PINKO LEFTIST ACADEMICS GENEROUSLY DISPENSING EXTEN SIONS IN AN ATTEMPT TO CONFER THEIR PASTORAL CONSCIENCE ! FRIEND AND MEMBER OF STAFF IN 03) COMMENTED THAT AD VERTISING THE AVAILABILITY OF FORMAL EXTENSIONS MERELY ENCOURAGES PEOPLE WHO ARE LAZY DISORGANISED STUPID TO
CONCOCT EVER MORE CREATIVE LIES TO WARRANT SUCH EXTEN SIONS ,EST ) BE VILIlED FOR IN CONSIDERATION ) STRONGLY SUP PORT THE ABILITY OF CONVENERS OR SEMINAR LEADERS TO OFFER EXTENSIONS GIVEN EXTENUAT ING CIRCUMSTANCES #IRCUM STANCES THAT IS WHICH JUSTIFY NOT SUBMITTING SOMETHING THAT COME ON ADMIT IT RE ALLY TAKES JUST A FEW HOURS TO COMPLETE ) VE HEARD ALL THE EXCUSES ) HAD TO WORK LATE MY COMPUTER BROKE ) HAD AN OVERENTHUSIASTIC BEVERAGING SESSION ) HAVE A SON GOOD ONE THAT .ONE OF THEM JUSTIFY AN EXTENSION 3OME CIRCUMSTANCES WILL -ALARIA MIGHT COUNT 7OULD 3IR !LAN 3UGAR PARDON UNDERPERFORM
ANCE DUE TO PATHETIC EXCUSES SUCH AS THOSE ABOVE ) THINK MOST DElNITELY YOU WOULD BE lRED ! FRIEND TIRED OF MY RANTING SAID TO ME THE OTH ER DAY THAT ACADEMIA IS JUST A SYSTEM WITH RULES 3YSTEMS ARE THERE TO BE PLAYED SAID HE AND RULES ARE THERE TO BE BROKEN 0ERHAPS THIS IS WHY THE ECONOMY LOST a BN LAST YEAR DUE TO PEOPLE @PULLING SICKIES ) DO NOT WANT TO BE PART OF A UNIVERSITY THAT EN COURAGES THIS SORT OF BEHAV IOUR BY WRAPPING STUDENTS IN COTTON WOOL AND ACQUIESC ING TO ANY EXTENSION REQUEST WHATSOEVER .EITHER SHOULD YOU
%VERY GENERATION IS MARKED BY AN EVENT OR A NEW INVEN TION WHICH CHANGES OUR LIVES &OR OUR PARENTS IT MAY BE THE INVENTION OF THE 0ILL FOR US MAYBE THE INTERNET COULD BE SEEN AS THE MOST REVOLUTION ARY TECHNOLOGICAL ADVENT 7HATEVER IT IS ONE THING IS FOR SURE ENVIRONMENTAL IS SUES HAVE ARRIVED AND ARE HERE TO STAY ) AM SURE ) JOIN MANY IN ENJOYING WHAT CAN BE DE SCRIBED AS SUMMER S WEATHER IN !PRIL 4HE ONLY COMPLAINT ) MIGHT HAVE IS THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE ASKING WHERE ) GET MY FAKE TAN FROM 4O STOP ANY DOUBT CREEPING INTO ANY ONE S MIND ) SPEND HOURS ON A BIKE IN THE SUN n AND ) HAVE THE ,YCRA TAN LINES TO PROVE IT $ESPITE ALL THIS ONE QUESTION HAS BEEN BUGGING ME )S THIS EXTREMELY WARM WEATHER DUE TO A CYCLE WHERE ONE YEAR IS FAR WARMER THAN THE SEVERAL BEFORE AND AFTER OR IT ENTIRELY DUE TO GLOBAL WARMING 7ITH THE AMOUNT OF ATTENTION THAT HAS RECENT Y BEEN GIVEN TO GLOBAL WARM ING COULD IT lNALLY BE TAK ING PLACE ) HAVE NOT LIVED ENOUGH DECADES TO KNOW IF THIS YEAR S WARM WEATHER IS CYCLICAL BUT ONE THING THAT DOES STRIKE ME IS THE LACK OF EXPLANATION AS TO WHY IT IS HAPPENING OR IS IT BECAUSE NO ONE KNOWS
"AD BEHAVIOUR 0LEASE CHECK THE h!NNA 3TEW ARD OWES ME A LESBIAN KISSv GROUP ON &ACEBOOK FOR AN IN DEPTH EXPLANATION OF THIS PAGE S LEAD ARTICLE
#/.#2%4%
/PITALK 2ESPONSES ) WOULD LIKE TO POINT OUT THAT ,OUIS (OLDING 0ARSONS USE OF THE PHRASE gHALF CASTEg IN HIS /PITALK COLUMN IS OFFENSIVE AND OUTDATED 4HE POINT -R (OLDING 0ARSONS WAS MAKING NAMELY THAT A PERSON S ETHNICITY SHOULD NOT BE A FACTOR IN COVERAGE OF THEIR SUCCESSES WAS A GOOD ONE BUT HIS LANGUAGE SHOWS HIM TO BE AS IGNORANT AS THE COMMENTATORS ON WHOM HE IS PASSING JUDGEMENT 9OURS "ECKY %LLERY
) AM JUST LETTING YOU KNOW THAT AFTER READING ,OUIS (OLDING 0ARSONSg MOST RECENT /PITALK ISSUE ) NOTICED A RATHER LARGE ERROR (E MAKES A VERY SERIOUS REFERENCE TO A PERSON AS A HALF CASTE ) AM NOT SURE IF YOU ARE AWARE OF CURRENT LINGUISTICAL FASHIONS BUT IT IS CONSIDERED VERY @LAST SEASON TO REFER TO A PERSON IN THIS WAY ) WOULD GO AS FAR AS TO SAY THAT IT IS A RACIST PHRASE )T IS OFFENSIVE TO A PERSON OF DUAL HERITAGE AND MIXED RACE )T IS QUITE FRANKLY OFFENSIVE TO ANY HUMAN BEING ) VERY MUCH DOUBT THAT -R (OLDING 0ARSONS IS A RACIST PERHAPS A LITTLE OUT OF DATE AND AS THE CONTENT OF HIS PIECE WAS ACTUALLY DEFENDING A PERSON OF MIXED RACE ) TOOK IT TO BE A DISCUSSION ABOUT IDENTITY POLITICS "UT REALLY ) ASSUME THAT THERE WAS A SLIGHT ERROR IN THE PROOF READING PROCESS OR THAT IT WAS PROOF READ CORRECTLY AND THE #ONCRETE /FlCE IS NOT QUITE UP TO DATE
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(OW DO YOU SOLVE A PROBLEM LIKE THE FORUMS &IRSTLY THE MODERATION TEAM IS CRITICISED FOR NOT DELETING OLD OR OFFENSIVE POSTS /LD POSTS ARE NOT MEANT TO BE DELETED )T IS IRRELEVANT HOW LONG A THREAD HAS BEEN THERE FOR THE IDEA IS TO KEEP THEM FOR REFERENCE )T IS NOT NECESSARY TO DELETE THREADS UNLESS SERVER SPACE OR BANDWIDTH IS LOW AND KEEPING THEM THERE ALLOWS OTHER PEOPLE TO ADD TO THEM OR SEARCH FOR INFORMATION AND IT ENRICHES THE COMMUNITY 4HERE HAS BEEN A MAJOR PROBLEM WITH OFFENSIVE POSTS THIS IS NOT A FAULT OF THE FORUMS OR MODERATORS BUT OF A SMALL MINORITY OF STUDENTS WHO CAN T BE CIVIL TOWARDS OTHERS 7E DO DELETE OFFENSIVE POSTS WHEN WE SEE THEM BUT ONE OF THE TEAM HAS LET HIS PERSONAL VIEWS AND FAVOURITISM INmUENCE HIS ACTIONS AND THOUGH THE OTHER TWO OF US THERE ARE ONLY THREE ACTIVE MODERATORS DO TRY OUR BEST WE HAVE STRUGGLED IN BEING UNABLE TO DISCIPLINE THOSE WHO DO BREAK
THE RULES 3TUDENTS OFTEN REFUSE TO ACCEPT WRONGDOING AND WE ARE IN THEORY SUPPOSED TO BAN OFFENDERS AFTER THREE WARNINGS (OWEVER THE #OMMUNICATIONS /FlCER HAS NOT ALWAYS DONE THIS ) CAN NAME THREE USERS WHO HAVE OVER THREE WARNINGS AND HAVE NOT BEEN BANNED /NE OF THESE IS NOT EVEN A STUDENT ANYMORE )NSTEAD OF BLAMING THE FORUMS AND MODERATORS MAYBE YOU SHOULD ADDRESS THE PROBLEM OF THESE ANTI SOCIAL STUDENTS 4HE SAME PEOPLE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR CAUSING THE SAME PROBLEMS OUTSIDE THE FORUMS AS WELL 9OUR STORY ALSO RECOGNISES THE SPAM PROBLEM 7E DO TRY TO KEEP THE SPAM DOWN BUT WE ARE STUDENTS AND ARE VERY BUSY AND DO NOT ALWAYS HAVE TIME TO KEEP MONITORING /NE OF US IS A THIRD YEAR AND TWO ARE SECOND YEARS WHAT WITH STUDYING JOBS AND PERSONAL LIVES THERE IS NOT ALWAYS TIME TO MONITOR THE FORUMS 4HERE ARE CERTAIN MEASURES THAT
COULD BE TAKEN TO REDUCE THE SPAM BUT A LACK OF TECHNICAL KNOWLEDGE ON THE PART OF THE #OMMUNICATIONS /FlCER MEANS THIS HASN T BEEN IMPLEMENTED 4HE FORUMS ARE NOT VERY BUSY CURRENTLY BUT HAVE BEEN IN THE PAST AND USUALLY ARE AROUND 3EPTEMBER UP TO #HRISTMAS 7HEN THEY ARE BUSY THEY PROVIDE AN EXCELLENT SPACE FOR SOCIALISING DISCUSSION HELP ADVICE AND FEEDBACK AS WELL AS FOR DEBATING 5NION COUNCIL POLICY OR ELECTIONS 4HEY ARE A WOEFULLY UNDERUSED RESOURCE IN THAT REGARD AND NEED PROMOTING ) HOPE THIS LETTER CLEARS A FEW THINGS UP ) THOUGHT THE STORY WAS ILL INFORMED AND INACCURATE IN PLACES AND A BIT UNFAIRLY NEGATIVE 4HE FORUMS ONLY NEED A SMALL AMOUNT OF WORK TO BE MADE INTO A VIBRANT AND USEFUL RESOURCE AND ENCOMPASSING THEM IN NEGATIVE STORIES AND RUMOURS IS HARMFUL (IVE -OD
,IBRARY #ORRECTION 4HERE WAS A SIGNIlCANT ERROR ON THE FRONT PAGE OF THE LAST EDITION OF #ONCRETE 4HE ,IBRARY WILL BE OPEN UNTIL FROM 4UESDAY -AY AND NOT FROM 4UESDAY -AY AS PREVIOUSLY STATED 4HE OPENING HOURS ARE SHOWN
ON THE ,IBRARY WEBSITE HTTP WWW UEA AC UK CM HOME SERVICES UNITS IS SERVICES ACCESS /PENING "HOURS 7E WILL BE PUBLICISING THE EXTENDED OPENING IN THE ,IBRARY ON THE ,IBRARY CATALOGUE PAGES
AND ON THE PLASMA SCREENS )T WOULD BE HELPFUL IF THE CORRECT HOURS COULD BE SHOWN IN 2ABBIT ) WANT TO AVOID STUDENTS BEING INCONVENIENCED OR CONFUSED BY THE DIFFERENT MESSAGES -ANY THANKS (EATHER 7ELLS
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%DITORIAL &AREWELL !S ) WAS RUNNING THROUGH .ORWICH CITY CENTRE TOPLESS WITH !NNA LAST WEEK ) THOUGHT TO MYSELF g'OD ) M NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO DO THIS WHEN ) M A GROWN UP AND ) HAVE A JOB g 3ADLY THIS IS THE LAST #ONCRETE OF THE ACADEMIC YEAR AND IT IS NEARLY TIME FOR ALL OF US THIRD YEARS TO SAY GOODBYE TO OUR BELOVED 5%! AND GO OUT INTO THE REAL WORLD 4HIS MEANS NO MORE DRESSING UP IN RIDICULOUS OUTlTS EVERY 4UESDAY NIGHT NO MORE SLEEPING ALL DAY AND ONLY GETTING UP FOR .EIGHBOURS AND NO MORE RUNNING SEMI NAKED DOWN THE STREET ON A WEEKNIGHT !S ) WANDER AROUND CAMPUS STROKING AND KISSING THE WALLS SO THEY DON T FORGET ME ) HAVE NOTICED THERE IS A SIGNIlCANT AIR OF PANIC AS STUDENTS REALISE THEY HAD ACTUALLY BETTER DO SOME REVISION OR THEY WILL STILL BE HERE NEXT YEAR DUE TO NOT BEING ALLOWED TO GRADUATE #ONCRETE IS STILL CAMPAIGNING FOR BETTER LIBRARY RESOURCES AS STUDENTS HAVE RESORTED TO QUEUING OUTSIDE IN THE MORNINGS JUST TO GET A COMPUTER ) NOTICED THIS AS ) WAS ATTEMPTING TO CURE MY HANGOVER WITH A COFFEE AND WONDERING IF ANYTHING EXCITING WAS HAPPENING &REE CAKE PERHAPS !NYWAY ) M SURE MY SEMI COHERENT BABBLING WILL HAVE MADE YOU APPRECIATE THE BRILLIANCE OF OUR EDITOR !NNA 3HE IS MOVING ONWARDS AND UPWARDS AND ON BEHALF OF EVERYONE AT #ONCRETE ) WOULD LIKE TO SAY !NNA YOU ROCK HARD AND YOUR BLOW UP GUITAR RULES 7ELL GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR EXAMS EVERYONE AND REMEMBER YOU RE .%6%2 TOO OLD TO RUN DOWN THE STREET NAKED )N FACT ) M THINKING ABOUT DOING IT RIGHT NOW .ATALIE ,ASANCE
2ACHEL !RCHER
3TUDENT ,OAN
2EPLY
#AN #ONCRETE BOTHER TO DO SOME RESEARCH ON ITS ARTICLES IN THE FUTURE )T IS CLEARLY STATED IN THE @3TUDENT ,OANS ! 'UIDE TO 4ERMS AND #ONDITIONS LEAFLET h(- 2EVENUE AND #USTOMS ONLY UPDATE THE 3,# WITH DETAILS OF REPAYMENTS THROUGH THE TAX SYSTEM AFTER THE END OF THE TAX YEAR 4HE 3,# ADDS THESE REPAYMENTS TO YOUR LOAN ACCOUNT AS IF THEY WERE MADE AT THE POINT YOUR EMPLOYER TOOK THEM AWAY FROM YOUR SALARY 4HIS MEANS THAT WHEN THE 3,# WORK OUT INTEREST THEY TAKE THE TIMING OF YOUR REPAYMENTS INTO ACCOUNT
4HIS ARTICLE WAS INDEED INACCURATE 7E APOLOGISE HOWEVER IT HAS BEEN CLEARLY DEMONSTRATED THAT THERE WAS WIDESPREAD CONFUSION AROUND THIS ISSUE )T IS NOW WELL PUBLICISED THAT THIS WAS AN INCORRECT UNDERSTANDING BUT AT THE TIME OF WRITING THIS WAS LESS APPARENT !LL NEWSPAPERS TRY TO BE VIGILANT FACT CHECKERS BUT THERE WILL ALWAYS BE MISTAKES 7E UNDERSTAND THAT SOME OF THE NATIONALS CAME VERY CLOSE TO RUNNING THIS STORY AS WELL
SO YOU WILL NOT PAY TOO MUCH v 4HIS IS ALSO MENTIONED ON THE GOVERNMENT WEBSITE ! LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE GOT VERY UPSET AND ANGRY OVER THIS RUMOUR CIRCULATED VIA &ACEBOOK E MAIL AND NOW #ONCRETE A STUDENT NEWSPAPER CAN INFLUENCE UP TO PEOPLE S VIEWS ON ISSUES SUCH AS THIS SO IT IS IMPORTANT THEY ARE REPORTED RESPONSIBLY -ARK "URLEY
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0LEASE SEND LETTERS TO CONCRETE EDITORIAL %DITOR CONCRETE EDITOR UEA AC UK !NNA 3TEWARD $EPUTY %DITOR CONCRETE EDITORIAL UEA AC UK ,OUIS (OLDING 0ARSONS #HIEF #OPY %DITOR CONCRETE EDITORIAL UEA AC UK 3ARAH -ABLEY .EWS %DITOR CONCRETE NEWS UEA AC UK *ANE $OUGLAS !SSISTANT .EWS %DITOR .ATALIE ,ASANCE $EPUTY .EWS %DITOR 2ICHARD 2EYNOLDS 7RITERS *OHN -UTCH 6ICTORIA ,EGGETT *ACK #LARK %RIN 3MITH .ATASHA +UNDAIKER *EMMA 4HAKE !BIGIAL +ERN &EATURES %DITOR CONCRETE FEATURES UEA AC UK +ATIE 'REEN 7RITERS !NNA 0RITCHARD !NNA 3TEWARD 4URF %DITOR CONCRETE TURF UEA AC UK (ANNAH .EWTON 7RITERS &IONA "ILLINGS 3ANNAH -ALIK .ATASHA "ARNES 2OSIE "RADLEY "UNN &OOD (EALTH CONCRETE LIFESTYLE UEA AC UK ,IFESTYLE %DITOR CONCRETE LIFESTYLE UEA AC UK !NDY *ONES 4RAVEL %DITOR CONCRETE LIFESTYLE UEA AC UK 7ILL 'REAVES 7RITER *ULIE 0RICE /PINIONS %DITOR CONCRETE EDITORIAL UEA AC UK ,OUIS (OLDING 0ARSONS 7RITERS ,YNNE 0EARSON !RTEMIS 0ANTELIDES #HARLOTTE (IBBERT !NDY *ONES "EN 7EALTHY "LAIR #AMPBELL 3PORT %DITOR CONCRETE SPORT UEA AC UK -ARCUS *ONES $EPUTY 3PORTS %DITOR 4IM 2IDGWAY 7RITERS 2ACHAEL -ROZ ,AURA 6AUX !DAM -OULDER !LEX "ARTON "HAVIK 4HAKRAR -ATT 7AIK $AN 9ELLAND %DWARD "UDGE #ARTOONIST *EN -ARCHANT $AMIEN ,AIRD (ECTOR ,OWE 0ROOFREADING !NNA 0RITCHARD %MMELINE 3AUNDERS .ICK 0ULLEN 0OLLY ,OGAN "ANKS 0ICTURE %DITOR 0HIL "ANKS !DVERTISING CONCRETE ADVERTISING UEA AC UK *OANNA ,AMBERT ,OUISE $UNGATE $ISTRIBUTION #ONRAD (AYES
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$EAR %DITOR
7EDNESDAY ND -AY
$EATH OF AN %NGLISH 3TUDENT ) AM WRITING IN RESPONSE TO -IRANDA "RYANT S RECENT ARTICLE ABOUT 5%! S #REATIVE 7RITING PROGRAMME h$EATH OF THE %NGLISH 3TUDENTv IN WHICH SHE ASKS A SERIES OF PERTINENT QUESTIONS ABOUT THE FUTURE OF THE COURSE !S A TH YEAR UNDERGRADUATE ON A #7 BASED COURSE ) lND IT SURPRISING THAT THIS IS THE lRST TIME CONCERNS HAVE BEEN RAISED ABOUT 5%! S COMPLACENCY IN THIS AREA 3INCE MY lRST YEAR ) HAVE BEEN CONSCIOUS OF THE AGGRESSIVENESS WITH WHICH 5%! S REPUTATION IN #REATIVE 7RITING HAS BEEN DEFENDED BOTH IN OFlCIAL LITERATURE ON THE SUBJECT PROSPECTUSES ETC AS MENTIONED IN THE ARTICLE AND IN YOUR PUBLICATION )N FOR EXAMPLE #ONCRETE RAN TWO ARTICLES IN THE SAME ISSUE WHICH IMPLICITLY ACCUSED 0AUL -AGRS OF POSTURING AND PSEUDISHNESS FOR HIS DEPARTING COMMENTS ON THE PRETENTIOUSNESS OF #REATIVE 7RITING UNDERGRADUATES !T THE TIME ) AGREED WITH -AGRS S COMMENTS PERHAPS TOO QUICKLY A RESPONSE WHICH WAS UNDOUBTEDLY
FUELLED BY THE UGLY INVECTIVE EMPLOYED TO VITUPERATE HIM "UT EVEN WITH THE BENElT OF TWO YEARS HINDSIGHT AND ALL THE ATTENDANT BURIED HATCHETS ) ADMIT TO STILL FEELING RELIEF THAT THOSE SENTIMENTS WERE EXPRESSED 4HE DOUBLE ATTACK ON -AGRS AT THE TIME FELT TOO SELF PROTECTIVE AND INDEED SEEMED TO RUN UP AGAINST THE CRITICAL CREATIVE ETHOS 5%! IS SO PROUD TO CULTIVATE AND ADVERTISE 3ADLY 0ROFESSOR #URRIE S RECENT COMMENTS ON 5%! S COMPETITORS APPEARED TO ECHO THIS IMPULSE TO DEFEND RATHER THAN ADAPT 0ERHAPS THE PROFESSOR S COMMENTS WERE EDITED INTO CONVENIENT THAT IS CONTENTIOUS SOUND BITES 2ATHER THAN AGAIN RESORTING TO REACTIONARY SELF DEFENSIVENESS 5%! MIGHT CONSIDER REVAMPING THE COURSE ESPECIALLY IN ITS lRST AND SECOND YEARS TO INCLUDE SOME OF THE UNPARALLELED AND INTERDISCIPLINARY TEACHING IT CONlDENTLY ADVERTISES AS STANDARD (OW LONG CAN 5%! REALLY CONTINUE TO TRADE ON THE CURRENCY OF ITS @HEAVY WEIGHT REPUTATION A REPUTATION
WHICH NOW SEEMS RELIANT ON THE NOSTALGIC INVOCATION OF "RADBURY 7ILSON -OTION ET AL ) AM CERTAINLY NOT THE ONLY 5%! ALUMNUS TO BE DEFECTING TO -ANCHESTER NEXT YEAR FOR AN -! AND ) CAN CONlDENTLY SAY THAT MY REASON FOR DOING SO INCLUDES NO EMBITTERMENT AT A LACK OF TALENT NOR GIDDINESS AT THE PROSPECT OF -ARTIN !MIS S @MASCULINITY ) SHOULD SAY IN CLOSING THAT MY EXPERIENCE OF #REATIVE 7RITING IN THE TH YEAR AT 5%! HAS BEEN VERY POSITIVE AND WITHOUT THE HELP AND ENCOURAGEMENT OF ONE SPECIlC MEMBER OF STAFF ) WOULDN T BE CONSIDERING AN -! IN #REATIVE 7RITING AT ALL !NDREW #OWAN (ENRY 3UTTON AND THE REST OF THE LAST YEAR -! TUTORS ARE ACCORDING TO MY OWN AND OTHERS EXPERIENCES VERY HELPFUL AND APPROACHABLE 4HE SEMINARS ARE ALSO ORGANIZED IN SUCH A WAY AS TO BE PRODUCTIVE AND ENJOYABLE )F ONLY THIS WERE TRUE OF THE REST OF THE UNDERGRADUATE COURSE
#ONCRETE IS RIGHT ON TWO POINTS IT S A GREAT 02 COUP FOR -ANCHESTER TO HAVE SECURED THE NO DOUBT TEMPORARY SERVICES OF -ARTIN !MIS AND 5%! DOES BOAST A FANTASTIC LEGACY OF #REATIVE 7RITING TEACHERS -ORE IMPORTANT STILL IS OUR LEGACY OF PRODUCING FANTASTIC AUTHORS 4HE LIST BEGINS AS EVERYONE KNOWS WITH )AN -C%WAN AND INCLUDES OTHER STELLAR NAMES SUCH AS +AZUO )SHIGURO AND 4RACY #HEVALIER "UT IT S AN EVER LENGTHENING LIST #ONCRETE RECENTLY REPORTED ON THE SIX lGURE BOOK DEAL SIGNED BY OUR GRADUATE *OE $UNTHORNE WITH 0ENGUIN "OOKS 4HERE ARE MANY OTHER RECENT SUCCESSES -ARK
-C.AY FOR INSTANCE HAS JUST BEEN AWARDED THIS YEAR S a !RTS &OUNDATION !WARD FOR HIS lRST NOVEL @&RESH *ANE (ARRIS HAS BEEN SHORTLISTED FOR THIS YEAR S /RANGE 0RIZE FOR HER NOVEL @4HE /BSERVATIONS .AOMI !LDERMAN HAS JUST BEEN NAMED 3UNDAY 4IMES 9OUNG 7RITER OF THE 9EAR FOR HER NOVEL @$ISOBEDIENCE 3HE ALSO WON THE /RANGE !WARD FOR .EW 7RITERS WHICH ANOTHER 5%! GRADUATE $IANE %VANS WON IN THE SAME YEAR THAT 4ASH !W WON THE 7HITBREAD &IRST .OVEL !WARD AND WAS SHORTLISTED FOR THE "OOKER 0RIZE 3USAN &LETCHER WON THE 7HITBREAD IN WHEN SHE APPEARED ON THE SHORTLIST WITH ANOTHER 5%!
GRADUATE 0ANOS +ARNEZIS *AMES 3CUDAMORE HAS MEANWHILE BEEN SHORTLISTED FOR A WHOLE HOST OF AWARDS THIS YEAR FOR HIS lRST NOVEL @4HE !MNESIA #LINIC 4HE POINT TO BE MADE HERE IS THAT IT S THE CONTINUING SUCCESS OF OUR GRADUATES THAT ATTRACTS SO MANY APPLICANTS TO 5%! AND IT S THE QUALITY OF OUR TEACHING THAT ENSURES WE WILL CONTINUE TO PRODUCE PRIZE WINNING AUTHORS !S FAR AS ) AM AWARE -ANCHESTER 5NIVERSITY HAS YET TO PRODUCE A SINGLE PUBLISHED NOVELIST
TH 9EAR #7 5NDERGRADUATE
"EST WISHES !NDREW #OWAN
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) AM WRITING TO EXPRESS SOME OF MY OBJECTIONS TO -IRANDA "RYANT S ARTICLE ON #REATIVE 7RITING AT 5%! .OT ONLY DOES THIS ARTICLE FAIL TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT THE 5NIVERSITY OF -ANCHESTER SUPPOSEDLY OUR GREATEST RIVAL HAS NEITHER AN UNDERGRADUATE DEGREE IN #REATIVE 7RITING NOR AN -! IN 3CRIPTWRITING BUT IT ALSO NEGLECTS TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE CONSIDERABLE REPUTATION OF THE TEACHERS CURRENTLY BASED AT 5%! 4REZZA !ZZOPARDI !RDASHIR 6AKIL AND !NDREW #OWAN ARE ALL WRITERS OF IMMENSE TALENT AND THEIR lCTION HAS ENJOYED GREAT CRITICAL ACCLAIM -ORE IMPORTANT THAN THE NUMEROUS PERSONAL SUCCESSES OF THESE NOVELISTS HOWEVER IS THEIR COMMITMENT TO TEACHING !S A POSTGRADUATE STUDENT AND lCTION WRITER CURRENTLY WORKING TOWARDS THE -! IN #REATIVE 7RITING HERE ) HAVE FOUND THE DEDICATION OF MY TUTORS TO BE EXCEPTIONAL 4HEIR TEACHING ABILITY IS NATURALLY MORE IMPORTANT TO ME THAN THE EXTENT OF THEIR FAME ) CARE LESS ABOUT THEIR CAREER THAN ) DO ABOUT MY OWN 4HE COURSE AT 5%! HAS PRODUCED NUMEROUS TALENTED AUTHORS IN THE PAST AND THE SUCCESSES OF RECENT GRADUATES SUGGESTS THAT IT CONTINUES TO DO SO TO THIS DAY 4HIS IS TESTAMENT TO THE QUALITY OF THE TEACHING AND THE SUPPORTIVE ATMOSPHERE AMONGST STUDENTS AT 5%! )T DISAPPOINTS AND UPSETS ME THAT -S "RYANT S ARTICLE SHOULD DISPLAY SUCH BIAS AGAINST THE COURSE "Y IGNORING THE CRUCIAL FACTORS THAT ) HAVE MENTIONED ABOVE ) BELIEVE THAT SHE HAS MISREPRESENTED A SUCCESSFUL AND WELL RUN PROGRAM 0LEASE MAKE MY DISPLEASURE KNOWN -S "RYANT (ELEN "UTCHER ,)4 0'
) WAS PLEASANTLY SURPRISED TO lND AN EXTENDED PIECE OF lCTION IN THE LATEST ISSUE OF #ONCRETE h4HE $EATH OF 4HE %NGLISH 3TUDENTv ) FEEL THAT -IRANDA "RYANT HAS A LONG FUTURE AHEAD OF HER AS A CREATIVE WRITER PARTICULARLY GIVEN THE SUBTLE BLENDING OF SPECULATIVE lCTION THE CAMPUS NOVEL AND A POST MODERNIST APPROPRIATION OF ACTUAL PEOPLE 4HE PIECE WAS HAMPERED BY POOR GRAMMAR UNORTHODOX SYNTAX AND PARAGRAPHS SO ILL FORMED THEY WOULD LEAVE A PRIMARY SCHOOL TEACHER IN TEARS 'IVEN THESE THINGS ARE #ONCRETE S HOUSE STYLE GIVE OR TAKE THE ABILITY TO USE A SPELL CHECKER ) AM SURE THAT SOMEWHERE OF THE CALIBRE OF -ANCHESTER 5NIVERSITY WOULD BE HAPPY TO CONSIDER -S "RYANT FOR A PLACE ON THEIR -! 4HANK YOU FOR A THOROUGHLY ENTERTAINING READ .IKHIL 'OMES #REATIVE 7RITING -!
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7EDNESDAY ND -AY
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/PINION "OO BOYS MAKE THEMSELVES HEARD -ATT 7AIK &OR AS LONG AS COMPETITIVE SPORT HAS EXISTED THERE HAVE BEEN FANS AND WHETHER THEY ARE CASUAL OBSERVERS OR DIE HARD SEASON TICKET HOLDERS THEY HAVE THE UNIQUE ABIL ITY TO CREATE AN ATMOSPHERE WHICH CAN PROVE DECISIVE IN WHETHER A TEAM WINS OR LOSES (OWEVER RECENTLY WE HAVE BEGUN TO SEE A DIFFERENT SIDE TO SUPPORTERS IN A VARI ETY OF SPORTS AS INCREASINGLY IT SEEMS WE ARE FEELING THE NEED TO VOICE NEGATIVE OPIN IONS IN THE FORM OF BOOING 4HE MOST RECENT EXAMPLE OF THIS GROWING PHENOM ENON CAME AS %NGLAND S CRICKETERS WERE KNOCKED OUT OF THE 7ORLD #UP EARLIER THIS MONTH FOLLOWING A HUMILIAT ING DEFEAT TO 3OUTH !FRICA !S A RESULT OF THEIR NINE WICKET ROUT -ICHAEL 6AUGHN S SQUAD INCLUDING BIG NAME PLAYERS SUCH AS !NDREW &LINTOFF AND
.OT lT TO WEAR THE SHIRT !NGRY FANS BERATED FOOTBALL COACH 3TEVE -CLAREN LEFT DURING THE RECENT QUALIFYING lXTURE AGAINST !NDORRA A MATCH WHICH %NGLAND WON %NGLAND S RUGBY AND CRICKET COACHES HAVE BOTH RECEIVED SIMILAR TREATMENT FROM FANS
+EVIN 0IETERSON WERE BOOED FROM THE PITCH BY SUPPORTERS EXPRESSING THEIR ANGER AT A DIS MAL CAMPAIGN IN WHICH %NG LAND WON ONLY FOUR MATCHES OUT OF A POSSIBLE EIGHT 3INCE OUR EMBARRASSING EXIT FROM THE #RICKET 7ORLD #UP HEAD #OACH $UNCAN &LETCHER HAS RESIGNED A DEMONSTRATION OF INDIVIDUAL RESPONSIBILITY THE LIKES OF WHICH %NGLAND FOOTBALL FANS CAN ONLY DREAM %NGLAND FOOTBALL MAN AGER 3TEVE -C#LAREN HAS SUF FERED SIMILAR TREATMENT FROM SUPPORTERS DESPITE BEING
HAILED AS THE PROSPECTIVE SAVIOUR OF THE INTERNATIONAL GAME FOLLOWING HIS APPOINT MENT LESS THAN A YEAR AGO 4ASKED WITH IMPROVING UPON THE DISAPPOINTING RESULTS CONSISTENTLY PRODUCED BY HIS PREDECESSOR 3VEN 'ORAN %RIKSSON THE NATION IS ONCE AGAIN BAYING FOR MANAGERIAL BLOOD DUE TO POOR PERFORM ANCES AGAINST TEAMS SUCH AS !NDORRA A VICTORY OVER WHOM WAS OVERSHADOWED BY BOOING DIRECTED AT MANAGER AND PLAYERS ALIKE %VEN RUGBY HAS BEEN EX POSED TO THE FULL FORCE OF THE
4HE CURSE OF BEING "RITISH %DWARD "UDGE 4HE TRADITIONS OF "RITISH SPORT WERE BORN ON THE STREETS WHERE ANYTHING ROUNDER THAN A PEAR WOULD BE KICKED FROM ONE END OF A ROAD TO ANOTHER BY HALF A NEIGHBOURHOOD IN THE NAME OF FOOTBALL 3OON THE SPIRIT OF MASS PARTICIPA TION WILL BE TESTED TO ITS LIM ITS WHEN THE /LYMPIC 'AMES ROLL INTO TOWN /VER EVENTS IN NIGH ON SPORTS THE /LYMPICS REPRESENT THE ULTIMATE TEST OF A COUNTRY S SPORTING PROWESS AND n FOR THE HOSTS n ITS ORGANISATION ,ONDON SEEMED CURSED FROM THE BEGINNING AS THE CITY WAS CONlRMED AS /LYMPIC HOSTS ONLY A DAY BE FORE TERRORISTS BOMBS STRUCK THE CAPITAL 4HE NEW 7EM BLEY 3TADIUM TOO MILLIONS OVER BUDGET AND MANY MANY MONTHS LATE CASTS AN EERIE SHADOW OF FOREBODING OVER THE 'AMES n WHOSE OWN STA DIUM IS SCHEDULED FOR COM PLETION IN /DDLY ) TRUST +EN ,IVING STONE TO PUT ON QUITE A SHOW BUT FOR "RITISH SPORTSMEN AND WOMEN TO EMERGE VICTO RIOUS MORE MAY BE REQUIRED ,EFT TO ITS OWN DEVICES "RIT
DISSATISlED FAN &OLLOWING THE %NGLAND RUGBY TEAM S UNPRECEDENTED DEFEAT TO !RGENTINA IN .OVEMBER OF LAST YEAR THEY TOO WERE BOOED FROM THE PITCH THE HOME CROWD HAVING BORN WITNESS TO A SEVENTH STRAIGHT TEST DEFEAT AT 4WICKENHAM %ACH OF THESE INCIDENTS CENTRED AROUND NATIONAL
SPORTS TEAMS WHICH HAVE SUF FERED A FALL FROM GRACE %NG LAND S CRICKETERS HAVE GONE FROM WINNING 4HE !SHES FOR THE lRST TIME SINCE IN TO A DRUBBING AT THE HANDS OF !USTRALIA EARLIER THIS YEAR 4HE %NGLAND RUGBY TEAM ARE TECHNICALLY STILL THE CURRENT WORLD CHAMPIONS BUT HAVE SINCE FAILED TO RE
DISCOVER THE FORM WHICH LED THEM TO 7ORLD #UP VICTORY !S FOR THE FOOTBALL TEAM THE LONELY GOLD STAR WHICH ADORNS THE NATIONAL KIT IS A TESTA MENT TO THE BYGONE SUCCESS OF WITH NO %NGLAND SIDE PROGRESSING BEYOND THE SEMI lNALS SINCE "OOING THEREFORE IS THE RESULT OF DENTED NATIONAL PRIDE OF THE COUNTRY S SPORT ING REPRESENTATIVES FAILING TO MATCH THE ACHIEVEMENTS OF THEIR PREDECESSORS DESPITE THE OBVIOUS TALENT AVAILABLE ,ACKLUSTRE PERFORMANCES ARE VIEWED AS AN INSULT NOT ONLY TO THOSE WHO HAVE WORN THE SHIRT IN THE PAST BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY TO THE FANS THAT PAY LARGE SUMS OF MONEY AND TRAVEL GREAT DISTANCES TO SUP PORT THEIR TEAMS )T IS A FAN S RIGHT TO VOICE THEIR OPINION IN ANY WAY THEY SEE lT TEAMS CANNOT RELY UPON THE FAN S SUPPORT TO SPUR THEM ON WITHOUT BEING PREPARED TO RECEIVE DESERVED mAK FOR UN ACCEPTABLE PERFORMANCES
#5 FOOTBALL TRIUMPH $AN 9ELLAND
ISH OR RATHER %NGLISH SPORT IS ENJOYING SOMETHING OF A PURPLE PATCH 4WO %NGLISH RUGBY CLUBS WILL CONTEST NEXT MONTH S (EINEKEN #UP lNAL AND ONLY A -ILANESE COME BACK CAN PREVENT TWO %NG LISH FOOTBALL CLUBS LINING UP FOR THE #HAMPIONS ,EAGUE SHOWPIECE "UT THESE ARE SPORTS INCREASINGLY POWERED BY COMMERCIAL FORCES AT CLUB LEVEL WHILE THE RESPECTIVE NATIONAL SIDES SUFFER EMBAR RASSING RUNS OF FORM THANKS LARGELY TO THEIR BLINKERED AND ANACHRONISTIC GOVERNING BODIES )T IS ORGANISATIONS OF THIS TYPE WHO ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR BREEDING THE CHAMPIONS OF IN SCHOOLS AND LOCAL CLUBS !ND YET THE MONEY SWINGS THE OTHER WAY !S HALF OF 3TRATFORD APPARENTLY HAS TO BE LEVELLED TO MAKE WAY FOR STADIA AND ARENAS CASH IS BEING PULLED FROM THE GRASS ROOTS OF "RITISH SPORT NO TABLY 3COTTISH RUGBY WHICH RESEMBLES SOMETHING OF AN
ELEPHANTS GRAVEYARD AS IT IS 7AYNE 2OONEY AND !NDREW &LINTOFF LEARNED THEIR GAMES ON PUB TEAMS AND VILLAGE GREENS NOT IN MULTI MILLION POUND GROUNDS WITH POWER SHOWERS AND PROTEIN SHAKES IN THE CHANGING ROOMS "UT BEING "RITISH MAKES IT ALL TOO EASY TO BE SUCH A HARBINGER OF DOOM 'LOBAL EVENTS CAN GO EITHER WAY 7HILE THIS YEAR S #RICKET 7ORLD #UP HAS EXPOSED THE SORRY STATE OF 7EST )NDIAN CRICKET WHICH IS SLOWLY LOS ING ITS BRIGHTEST TALENT TO APATHY AND 5 3 "ASKETBALL SCHOLARSHIPS THE 2UGBY 7ORLD #UP IN 3OUTH !FRICA INDUCTED AN ENTIRE SPORT INTO PROFESSIONALISM 4HE WORLD WILL JUDGE ,ONDON ON ITS GLAMOROUS OPENING CER EMONY ITS lREWORKS AND ITS BANG FOR YOUR BUCK ENTER TAINMENT BUT HERE AT HOME WE WILL BE GRASPING FOR PRIDE WITH A MEDALS TABLE AND A CALCULATOR IN HAND
,AST WEEKEND ONE OF THE 5NIVERSITY S LESSER KNOWN SPORTING OUTFITS THE 5%! #HRISTIAN 5NION &OOTBALL 4EAM TOOK HOME THE .ORFOLK #HRISTIAN &OOTBALL ,EAGUE TROPHY 4HE LEAGUE MADE UP OF TEAMS FROM LOCAL CHURCHES IN AND AROUND THE CITY WAS EVENTUALLY CLINCHED WITH A TYPICALLY POWERFUL SECOND HALF PERFORMANCE ENDING IN A VICTORY OVER 3TALHAM )T WAS A SPECIAL VICTORY FOR A SIDE WHICH HAD CRUELLY LOST THE TITLE LAST YEAR ON GOAL DIFFERENCE 0LAYING ATTRACTIVE PASSING FOOTBALL AND MAIN TAINING A STRONG WORK ETHIC FIVE GOALS FROM FIVE DIFFERENT SCORERS IN THE CRUCIAL FINAL GAME EMPHASISED THE QUAL ITY RUNNING THROUGHOUT THE SIDE 4HE TRAINING SESSIONS AND MATCHES ARE ALWAYS PLAYED IN A RELAXED AND FRIENDLY ATMOSPHERE WHICH CREATES A GREAT ENVIRONMENT TO PLAY FOOTBALL IN 4HE TEAM IS RUN BY MEMBERS OF 5%! S #HRISTIAN 5NION HOWEVER BEING A #HRISTIAN IS NOT AN
OBLIGATION TO BECOMING PART OF THE TEAM .OR IS THERE A SCREENING PROCESS BASED ON RELIGIOUS BELIEFS 4HE TEAM THOUGH DO TRY TO PLAY GAMES IN A MANNER WHICH WOULD REFLECT #HRIST S KEEPING A GOOD ATTITUDE TOWARDS TEAM MATES OPPOSI TION PLAYERS AND REFEREES AND ALSO AVOIDING BAD TACKLES
AND CHEATING .EXT SEASON THE TEAM IS LOOKING TO RUN TWO SIDES 4RAINING IS ON 7EDNESDAY S FROM PM AT %ATON 0ARK AND ALL ARE WELCOME )F YOU ARE INTERESTED IN PLAY ING SOME FOOTBALL NEXT SEA SON THEN CONTACT 4IM AT TWJAMESWILSON HOTMAIL COM
7EDNESDAY ND -AY #/.#2%4%
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#LOSE AT THE CLIMAX OF :IGGURAT !DAM -OULDER )T WAS WITH EXCITEMENT AND A TOUCH OF SADNESS THAT THIS REPORTER STRODE MANFULLY TO THE ATHLETICS TRACK ON 7EDNESDAY AFTERNOON AS HE PREPARED FOR THE lNAL DAY OF COMPETITION IN THIS YEAR S :IGGURAT #HALLENGE !FTER THREE YEARS @3PORTS 2EPPING FOR THE 3CHOOL OF ,)4 ) KNEW THE COMBINED TUG OF WAR AND ATHLETICS EVENTS WOULD BE MY LAST APPEARANCE IN THE GREEN SHIRT /UR SCHOOL HAD SO FAR PUT
IN THEIR BEST PERFORMANCE IN THE COMPETITION S HISTORY LYING IN lFTH PLACE FOLLOWING A STIRRING SECOND POSITION IN THE PREVIOUS WEEK S ROUNDERS (OWEVER AHEAD LAY FOUR MIGHTY TEAMS WITH JUST POINTS SEPARATING ALL OF THEM 3PORTSPARK AND 5%! STAFF STOOD AT THE TOP OF THE LEADERBOARD HAVING lNALLY A TEAM OF THEIR OWN THIS YEAR WITHOUT BEING LUMBERED WITH THE 3CHOOL OF %$5 WHO SADLY LIE A LONG WAY ADRIFT AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SCHOOLS !(0 WERE NOT FAR BACK IN SECOND -%$ WERE LOOKING THREATENING IN THIRD
WITH TWO *OKERS STILL TO PLAY WHICH WOULD DOUBLE THEIR POINTS FOR THE LAST EVENTS AND THEY WERE HOLDING OFF %.6 IN FOURTH PLACE !S TUGGING TIME APPROACHED ) WAS TOLD THAT ) WAS NOT QUITE THE RIGHT BUILD FOR THE ,)4 TEAM BUT THAT -!4(3 WERE LOOKING FOR AN EXTRA GUY 5NSURPRISINGLY WE WERE COLLECTIVELY WEAK AND LOST TO AN !(0 SIDE COMPRISING MAINLY GIRLS AND GIRLY MEN ,)4 FAIRED LITTLE BETTER LOSING TO 3PORTSPARK IN THE GROUP STAGES WHO UNFORTUNATELY TRIUMPHED OVER ."3 %#/ IN THE lNAL
DESPITE EVERYONE ELSE WILLING THE MANAGEMENT STUDENTS TO DEFEAT THOSE COCKY YELLOW SHIRTED WINNERS %LSEWHERE -%$ KEPT THE PRESSURE UP OVERALL BY BEATING A PLUCKY ,!7 IN AN ENTERTAINING RD TH PLACE PLAYOFF 4HIS MEANT THAT ALL WAS TO PLAY OR RATHER RUN THROW AND JUMP FOR IN ATHLETICS 4HE CHAOTIC :IGGURAT RULES MEANT THAT MANY EVENTS HAPPENED SIMULTANEOUSLY AND AN ATTEMPT TO REVEAL THE WINNERS OF EACH EVENT WOULD BE NEAR IMPOSSIBLE 7HILST THE RELAYS WERE CLEARLY DOMINATED BY
,)4 -%$ AND !(0 A SUPERB TURNOUT FROM THE MEDICS IN AN EVENT USUALLY WON BY MASS PARTICIPATION WHETHER THEY CAN RUN OR THROW AT ALL ENSURED THEY ARE LIKELY TO HAVE TAKEN THE SPOILS ON THE DAY 4HE lNAL RESULT WILL NOT BE REVEALED UNTIL THE :IGGURAT DINNER ON 7EDNESDAY EVENING BUT ) PREDICT A CLOSE CALL BETWEEN 3PORTSPARK AND -%$ FOR THE TITLE 0ERSONALLY THIS REPORTER IS HOPING THAT ,)4 MAY HAVE SNUCK INTO A CHEEKY THIRD PLACE 4HAT WOULD BE A FANTASTIC END TO WHAT HAS BEEN A FANTASTIC COMPETITION
,IVEWIRE #OUGARS VS (OCKEY &OOTBALL -ATCH !LEX "ARTON &RIDAY TH !PRIL AT PM SAW THE LONG AWAITED SHOWDOWN OF THE UNSUCCESSFUL @,IVEWIRE #OUGARS AGAINST A FOOTBALL TEAM MADE UP OF A FEW WILL ING MEMBERS OF THE (OCKEY #LUB 4HE VENUE WAS THE (OCKEY #LUB S @4HEATRE OF $REAMS ALSO KNOWN AS !S TRO 4HE MATCH STARTED OFF WELL FOR THE ,IVEWIRE BOYS AS THEY SCORED EARLY THROUGH 7ILL
(OWARTH AFTER A GREAT RUN FROM THE MIDlELD (OWARTH WAS THE TARGET FOR A FAIR AMOUNT OF ABUSE DURING THE GAME SEEING AS HE IS NOT ONLY A HOCKEY PLAYER BUT ALSO THE INCOMING CAPTAIN FOR THE RD TEAM 4HE GAME WAS LACKING ANY REAL INTENSITY FOR THE MOST PART AND (OCKEY HAD TO MAKE CONSTANT ROLLING SUB STITUTES TO KEEP UP THE PACE 4HE MANAGER LATER SAID HE WAS DISAPPOINTED WITH THE lTNESS LEVELS AFTER THE CLUB S TOUR TO !MSTERDAM THE WEEK
BEFORE ,IVEWIRE WERE SOLID AT THE BACK BUT WERE STRUGGLING TO KEEP THE PACE WITH THE MORE RESTED HOCKEY PLAYERS AND SOON FOUND THEMSELVES AT ONE APIECE AFTER $EAN -ONK EQUALISED FOR (OCKEY 4HE UNDOUBTED STAR OF THE GAME WAS (OCKEY GOALKEEPER 2ICH "EASTALL WHO MADE SEVERAL EXCELLENT SAVES AND LIMITED ,IVEWIRE TO THREE GOALS DE SPITE MANY MORE CHANCES /N THE mIP SIDE *AMES (UGHES WAS THE CLOWN MISSING NU MEROUS CHANCES INCLUDING
ONE TOTAL AIR SHOT AND TWO ONE ON ONES WITH ,IVEWIRE KEEPER 4OM &ARTHING (OCKEY MANAGED TO GET IN FRONT BRIEmY THROUGH ONE GREAT STRIKE FROM %DWIN &USCO AND AN !NDREW *ARVIS GOAL (OWEVER WITH ONLY lVE MINUTES LEFT ,IVEWIRE EQUAL ISED AND IT lNISHED AT 3O TO THE DREADED PEN ALTIES IT WENT 4HE lRST FEW TAKERS WERE SUCCESSFUL 4HAT WAS UNTIL ,IVEWIRE S 4OM &ARTHING GAINED REVENGE ON $EAN -ONK BY GUESSING THE RIGHT WAY TO SAVE HIS PENALTY
AND HAND THE INITIATIVE TO THE RADIO BOYS ,IVEWIRE S FOURTH TAKER .ICK +ENT BURIED HIS PENALTY LEAVING $AVID 3IMMS A MUST SCORE PENALTY FOR (OCKEY 3IMMS PUT IT OVER THE BAR THUS HANDING VICTORY TO ,IVEWIRE WITH A SCORE OF ON PENALTIES #ONGRATULATIONS MUST GO TO BOTH TEAMS FOR PLAY ING SOME DELIGHTFUL FOOTBALL IN A GOOD SPIRITED ENCOUNTER ! RE MATCH SHOULD DElNITELY BE ON THE CARDS
7OOLMER S SHADOW CLOUDS DISAPPOINTING 7ORLD #UP "HAVIK 4HAKRAR &OLLOWING A CONTROVERSIAL 7ORLD #UP IN WHICH FEARS OF SECURITY RESULTED IN %NGLAND REFUSING TO PLAY IN :IMBABWE .EW :EALAND DO ING LIKEWISE IN +ENYA AND !USTRLIA BOWLER 3HANE 7ARNE FAILING A DRUGS TEST THE EVENT HAS ARGUABLY BEEN EVEN MORE OF A SHAMBLES THAN NORMAL FROM BOTH AN %NGLISH AND A 7ORLD #RICKET PERSPECTIVE 4HE INFAMOUS MURDER OF 0AKISTAN COACH "OB 7OOLMER AND THE DIS GRACEFUL DRUNKEN EXPLOITS OF !NDREW &LINTOFF THAT BROUGHT SHAME UPON %NGLAND HAVE MEANT THAT OFF THE lELD INCI DENTS HAVE OVERSHADOWED THE CRICKET ITSELF 4HE TRAGIC MURDER OF 7OOLMER THAT TOOK PLACE
DURING THE GROUP STAGES OF THE COMPETITION HAS UNDOUBT EDLY TAKEN THE LIMELIGHT AWAY FROM THE CRICKET !LTHOUGH THE STORY QUIETENED DOWN TO WARDS THE LATTER STAGES OF THE COMPETITION ON lELD DISTRAC TIONS HAVE BEEN ON THE WHOLE LACKING EXCEPT FOR THE BRIL LIANCE OF SOME INDIVIDUALS )T CAME AS A SHOCK WHEN BOTH 0AKISTAN AND )NDIA FOURTH AND EIGHTH SEEDS RE SPECTIVELY FAILED TO MAKE THE 3UPER %IGHTS WHILST MINNOWS )RELAND PULLED OFF A SHOCK AND QUALIlED 4HE TOP GUNS OF THESE TEAMS SIMPLY FAILED TO DELIVER AND THE DISTINCT LACK OF QUALITY IN THEIR CRICKET PROVED COSTLY 4HE 7ORLD #UP WAS DOM INATED YET AGAIN BY !USTRALIA WHO WON THE COMPETITION FOR THE THIRD SUCCESSIVE TIME 4HE BRILLIANCE OF PLAYERS SUCH AS -ATTHEW (AYDEN THE LEAD
ING RUNS SCORER OF THE TOUR NAMENT 'LENN -C'RATH 2ICKY 0ONTING AND !DAM 'ILCHRIST WHO PRODUCED A MAGNIlCENT QUICK lRE IN THE lNAL HAVE BEEN SOME OF THE HIGHLIGHTS OF THE TOURNA MENT /THER STAR PERFORMERS HAVE BEEN 3RI ,ANKAN S ,ASITH -ALINGA AND -AHELA *AYA WARDENE +IWI 3COTT 3TYRIS AND 3OUTH !FRICAN BATSMAN 'RAEME 3MITH 3O WHERE DO %NGLISH PLAYERS COME INTO THIS ,IKE IN FOOTBALL AND RUG BY THE %NGLAND CRICKET TEAM HAVE SOME QUALITY NAMES ON PAPER BUT FAIL TO DELIVER ON THE BIG STAGE 4AKE +EVIN 0IE TERSEN FOR EXAMPLE 0IETERSEN IS THE 7ORLD S BEST /NE $AY BATSMAN AND ALTHOUGH HE AVERAGED lFTY IN THE 7ORLD #UP %NGLAND FANS EXPECTED A LOT MORE -EANWHILE &LINTOFF WAS OUT OF FORM AND CAPTAIN -ICHAEL 6AUGHAN COULD ONLY
MANAGE SINGLE lGURE SCORES IN FOUR SUCCESSIVE GAMES HARDLY 7ORLD #UP WINNING FORM 7ITH THE DEPARTURE OF $UNCAN &LETCHER %NGLAND FANS WILL BE HOPING FOR GREAT ER SUCCESS UNDER THE COACHING OF 0ETER -OORES 4HE 7ORLD #UP HAS ALSO SEEN THE RESIG NATION OF 7EST )NDIES COACH "ENNETT +ING "ANGLADESH COACH $AV 7HATMORE AND )NDIA S 'REGG #HAPPELL ALL DUE TO THEIR COUNTRIES DISAP POINTING DISPLAYS 7HILST ON A MORE POSITIVE NOTE "RIAN ,ARA AND 'LENN -C'RATH HAVE ENDED THEIR ILLUSTRI OUS /NE $AY )NTERNATIONAL PLAYING CAREERS THE ABOVE RESIGNATIONS OF NUMEROUS COACHES SUGGESTS THAT SOME THING IS GOING WRONG &ANS OF THESE COUNTRIES WILL BE HOP ING THAT THE NEW COACHES CAN ADD SOME IMPETUS AND BRING SOME FRESH IDEAS TO THE TEAM
IN ORDER TO TRY AND COMPETE WITH THE LIKES OF !USTRALIA AND 3OUTH !FRICA SOMETHING THAT %NGLAND )NDIA AND 0AKI STAN WERE ALL EXPECTED TO DO 7HEN LOOKING BACK ON THIS 7ORLD #UP IN YEARS TO COME IT WILL UNDOUBTEDLY BE REMEMBERED FOR THE DEATH OF "OB 7OOLMER 4HE EFFECT OF THE 7OOLMER INVESTIGATION CONTINUES AND WE STILL DO NOT KNOW THE EXACT DETAILS OF HIS DEATH 4HE LENGTH OF THE TOUR NAMENT WILL ALSO BE QUES TIONED SURELY SEVEN WEEKS OF CRICKET WOULD AFFECT THE CONTI NUITY AND CONSISTENCY OF PLAY /VERALL THE TOURNAMENT HAS LACKED QUALITY CONSISTENCY AND HAS BEEN TOO HIGH IN OFF PITCH DRAMA 7E CAN ONLY HOPE FOR A MORE COMPETITIVE 7ORLD #UP IN FOCUSED ON ACTION ON THE PITCH AS OP POSED TO OFF IT
3PORT %DITOR S COLUMN 6ANDA 4HE CHANCES ARE THAT IF YOU READ THESE PAGES YOU WILL HAVE MET 6ANDA 4URRELL )F NOT LET ME ASSURE YOU THAT IS YOU HAVE TAKEN PART IN A COMPETETIVE SPORT WHILE AT 5%! THEN IT WOULD HAVE BEEN MADE POSSIBLE IN SOME DE GREE BY 6ANDA 6ANDA IS LEAVING HER POST AS 3PORT S #LUB #O ORDINATOR THIS YEAR 3HE HAS BEEN IN STRUMENTAL IN HELPING SPORT CLUBS ACROSS CAMPUS GET THEMSELVES INTO GOOD WORK ING ORDER AND YOU COULD REST ASSURED IF YOU WERE NOT RUN NING SMOOTHLY SHE WOULD BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO TELL YOU )N FACT 6ANDA S WILLING NESS TO TALK ABOUT A PLETHORA OF DIFFERENT SUBJECTS AT LENGTH WILL BE THE CENTREPIECE OF MANY PEOPLE S MEMORIES )T WAS ALWAYS A PLEASURE TO GO AND SEE 6ANDA AND ) KNOW THAT SHE WILL MISS THE STU DENTS AS MUCH AS MANY WILL MISS HER 0ERHAPS THE GREATEST COM PLEMENT THAT CAN BE BESTOWED ON HER HOWEVER IS WHAT ) LIKE TO CALL THE @ONE NAME STATUS *UST LIKE 0ELE AND -ARADONA 6ANDA HAS ENTERED THE PAN THEON OF INDIVIDUALS WHO BECOME SO WELL KNOWN THAT THEY ONLY NEED ONE MONIKER TO BE KNOWN BY EVERYONE 3O ON BEHALF OF #ONCRETE 3PORT AND EVERY SPORT S CLUB AT 5%! 6ANDA WE THANK YOU
)NDULGENCE )N THIS VEIN OF OFFERING THANKS ) HOPE GIVEN THAT IT IS THE LAST EDITION YOU WILL INDULGE ME JUST A LITTLE FURTHER 4HE REA SON IS THAT THROUGHOUT THE YEAR ) HAVE AT VARYING LEVELS OF SOBRIETY ASSURED PEOPLE THAT ) WOULD THANK THEM IN MY lNAL COLUMN &IRSTLY ) HAVE BEEN LUCKY TO HAVE NUMEROUS CONTRIBU TORS FROM AN ARRAY OF SPORTS CLUBS THROUGHOUT THE YEAR AND ) THANK THEM ALL 3ECONDLY MY TECHNICAL INEPTITUDE HAS MEANT THAT AT VARIOUS POINTS ) HAVE RE QUIRED THE HELP OF *ONATHAN "AKER -ARK 3CHUELER AND #HRIS 3MITH &INALLY ) THANK YOU READ ERS )F YOU HAVE ENJOYED HATED OR DESPAIRED OF THIS COLUMN AT ANY POINT THEN ) HAVE ACHIEVED SOMETHING
#/.#2%4% 7EDNESDAY ND -AY
3PORT
!NGELIC PERFORMANCE FROM CHEERLEADERS 2ACHAEL -ROZ 7HILST MOST PEOPLE WERE LOOKING FORWARD TO A NICE RE LAXING %ASTER EVEN IF YOU DID HAVE TO REVISE THE 5%! !N GELS #HEERLEADING #LUB WERE HARD AT WORK PERFECTING THEIR ROUTINES READY FOR THE 5NI VERSITY .ATIONAL #HAMPION SHIPS THAT WERE HELD THROUGH OUT THE HOLIDAYS 4HE TEAMS COMPETED WITHIN TWO DIFFERENT CHEER LEADING BODIES THIS YEAR 5+#! 5NITED +INGDOM #HEERLEADING !SSOCIATION AND "#! "RITISH #HEERLEAD ING !SSOCIATION BOTH OF WHICH ARE SET TO JOIN "53! AND THE .ATIONAL 'YMNASTICS !SSOCIATION IN -AY
5+#! /N -ARCH TH THE #HEERLEADING 0OM DANCE SQUAD CAME A FANTASTIC ST
PLACE OUT OF TEAMS IN THE 5NIVERSITY $IVISION AT 5+#! AFTER NEARLY NOT MAKING THE TRIP AT ALL 7HILST THEIR TRANSPORT FAILED TO ARRIVE AT AM ON THE DAY OF THE COMPETITION THE SQUAD OF STILL MANAGED TO GET TO THE "IRMINGHAM .)! IN PLENTY OF TIME AND IN GOOD SPIRITS 4HE WELL DESERVED WIN WAS AN OVERWHELMING RESULT FOR CHOREOGRAPHERS 0RESI DENT !NNA (OWLETT AND 6ICE
0RESIDENT 2ACHAEL -ROZ WHO ARE BOTH 5%! lNALISTS AND SET TO GRADUATE THIS YEAR
"#! 4HIS SUCCESS WAS FOLLOWED UP ON %ASTER "ANK (OLIDAY TH !PRIL WHEN THE !NGELS ACHIEVED THREE FANTASTIC RE SULTS AT THE "#! 5NIVERSITY COMPETITION 4HIS YEAR THE EVENT WAS BIGGER AND BETTER THAN EVER BEFORE WITH SCORES SO IN TENSE THAT THERE WAS ONLY MARKS BETWEEN SOME OF THE PLACINGS 4HE 4ELFORD )NTER NATIONAL #ENTRE SAW ENTRANTS ON THE 3ATURDAY OF THE COMPETITION WITH OVER TEAMS FROM UNIVERSI TIES ACROSS THE 5+ 4HE @5%! !LL 3TARS WERE THE lRST TO COMPETE FOR THE !NGELS AND lNISHED AN IM PRESSIVE TH OUT OF FOR THEIR HARD EFFORTS 4HEY COM PETEDAGAINSTWELL ESTABLISHED
NAMES SUCH AS 3OUTHAMPTON 6IXONS AND ,EEDS #ELTICS WHO BOTH HAVE SEVERAL WINS TO THEIR NAME OVER THE PAST FEW YEARS /UR GIRLS $AN IELLE 4HORNE *OANNE -ARTIN (ELEN (OLLINGWORTH #HAR LOTTE #OOPER #LAIRE &EN NER HAVE ONLY BEEN WORKING TOGETHER ON THE @4OP 'UN SQUAD SINCE /CTOBER WHICH MADE THEIR PERFORMANCE EVEN MORE IMPRESSIVE !S CHEERLEADING IS CON STANTLY GROWING AND BECOM ING MORE COMPETITIVE RULES ARE REGULARLY CHANGING 5N FORTUNATELY DUE TO A NEW !MERICAN RULING THAT WAS IN TRODUCED EARLIER THIS YEAR THE GIRLS LOST A MIGHTY MARKS FOR AN INFRACTION IMPLEMENT ED BY A SOMERSAULT BASKET THAT WAS NOT ALLOWED IN THIS NON DIVISION ALL GIRL STUNT SECTION !S MUCH CONTROVERSY SURROUNDS RULING CHANGES AND NON SPECIlED DIVISION ING WE ARE VERY PLEASED TO KNOW THAT OUR TEAM WOULD HAVE OTHERWISE BEEN PLACED JOINT TH OUT OF 4HE @)NTERMEDIATE !LL GIRL #HEER ALSO SAW A SIMILAR SUC CESS IN WHICH THE !NGELS WERE AWARDED TH PLACE OUT OF 4HE SCORING WAS EXTREMELY CLOSE WITH ONLY MARKS SEP ARATING THE TOP 4HE !NGELS PUT FORWARD A HIGHLY ORIGINAL ROUTINE THAT WOOED THE CROWD AND TURNED
THE HEADS OF MANY SQUADS BOTH OLD AND NEW &OR MANY OF THE 5%! !NGELS THIS WAS THEIR lRST EVER COMPETITION 7ITH OVER HALF THE TEAM BEING FRESHERS THESE GIRLS HAD NEVER TAKEN PART IN CHEERLEADING BEFORE THEY CAME TO 5%! 5NLIKE MANY SPORTS TEAMS WHO HAVE EXTERNALLY PAID COACHES CHEERLEADING IS
COACHES 3OPHIE 0ULLEN +ER RY "ATH *OANNE -ARTIN AND 2ACHAEL -ROZ FOR A FANTASTIC ALL ROUND ROUTINE &INALLY A FURTHER CONGRAT ULATIONS TO THE !NGELS @3ENIOR $ANCE 3QUAD WHO TOOK ND PLACE OUT OF VERY TALENTED TEAMS PROVING THAT THEY HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO COMPETE WITH THE BEST
RUN SOLELY BY STUDENTS WITH MEMBERS OF THE CLUB EACH YEAR OBTAINING NATIONALLY RECOGNISED COACH QUALIlCA TIONS EITHER ON THEIR OWN OR WITH THE HELP OF THE 3TUDENT 5NION )N A VERY SHORT TIME THE COACHES HAVE TO CREATE SUIT ABLE ROUTINES CONTAINING DANCE CHEER AND GROUP STUNT ING CREATE THEIR OWN MUSIC AND HOLD TRAINING SESSIONS ! HUGE THANK YOU TO ALL THE
)N FACT THE WHOLE !NGELS SQUAD PROVED THAT THEY HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO PERFORM AT A HIGH LEVEL AND AFTER TWO YEARS OF BEING UNABLE TO TAKE A SQUAD TO A COMPETITION WE ARE ECSTATIC WITH OUR RESULTS 3PECIAL THANKS MUST GO TO ALL THOSE AT THE 5NION WHO HAVE HELPED US THROUGHOUT THE YEAR AND HOPEFULLY WITH OF THE TEAM BEING lRST YEARS 5%! WILL SEE MANY MORE WINS IN THE FUTURE
5%! $ANCE3PORT HEAT UP 7INTER 'ARDENS ,AURA 6AUX 4HE )$6# THE BIGGEST )N TER 5NIVERSITY $ANCESPORT COMPETITION OF THE YEAR TOOK PLACE ON THE TH -ARCH AND WAS HELD AT THE PRESTIGIOUS 7INTER 'ARDENS IN "LACK POOL 5NIVERSITY TEAMS FROM ACROSS THE COUNTRY mOCKED TO THE NORTH WEST FOR AN EXHILA RATING DAY OF DANCE AND THEY WERE NOT DISAPPOINTED /UR JOURNEY BEGAN THE NIGHT BEFORE THE COMPETI TION WITH OUR DEDICATED DRIV ERS $REW 7ELCH *AMES 7EAR ING AND !NDY "AKER FERRYING THE TEAM TO "LACKPOOL !FTER REACHING OUR DESTINATION IN THE EARLY HOURS OF THE MORN ING A RESTLESS NIGHT FOLLOWED WITH OUR DANCERS ALL TOO EAGER
TO GET THE BALL ROLLING #UE AN EARLY START THE IN TRICATE PERFECTION OF BEAUTY REGIME BY THE GIRLS AS THE BOYS WAITED PATIENTLY AND A SUBSEQUENT DASH TO THE
7INTER 'ARDENS &INALLY THE DANCING COULD BEGIN 4HROUGHOUT THE DAY MANY COUPLES PROGRESSED THROUGH THE ROUNDS NOTABLY +ATE 7HITTINGTON AND #HAD
.ELSON 2EBECCA -ENDEL SOHN AND .ICCY -ILLS .ICOLA ,YNES AND ,ISA !NN 'OOD MAN AND 3ERENA "ROUGHTON AND .AOMI $AVEY 4HE SHEER NUMBER OF COMPETITIVE EN
TRIES SURPASSING THAT OF PREVI OUS YEARS CREATED AN ELECTRIC ATMOSPHERE AND SOME OF THE MOST lERCELY CONTESTED lNALS OF RECENT YEARS 4HEN FOR SOMETHING COM PLETELY DIFFERENT THE /FFBEAT ROUND 4HIS IS THE CHANCE FOR UNIVERSITY TEAMS TO SHOW OFF OTHER STYLES OF DANCE AND WHAT A VARIATION WE HAD THIS YEAR &ROM BODY POPPING TO BREAK DANCING EVERY ROU TINE HAD SOMETHING DIVERSE 5%! ENTERED WITH A FUSION OF &OSSE AND REAL HIP HOP !LTHOUGH WE FAILED TO BRING HOME THE TROPHY THE ROUTINE WAS CERTAINLY A HIT A TESTA MENT TO THE HARD WORK OF THE TEAM AND OUR AWESOME TEACHER +ATE "OUCHIER WITH OUT WHOM WE WOULD BE LOST /UR lNAL EVENT WAS THE 4EAM -ATCH )T WAS TIME TO
DON TAILSUITS AND SPARKLY DRESSES FOR A GLITTER EXTRAVA GANZA %ACH TEAM CONSISTS OF FOUR COUPLES EACH DOING ONE DANCE n 7ALTZ 1UICKSTEP #HA #HA #HA OR *IVE 3PINS CHASSES AND CHICKEN WALKS REIGNED SUPREME IN A BATTLE TO BE SEEN BY THE JUDGES UN TIL THE lNAL FEW REMAINED 4O OUR DELIGHT THE 5%! ! TEAM WERE PLACED TH OVERALL OUT OF OTHER TEAMS AN AMAZ ING ACHIEVEMENT AND ONE WHICH EARNED MEDALS AND THE HIGHEST RANKING IN RECENT YEARS 7E WOULD LIKE TO TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO THANK OUR TEACHER ,YNN -ILLER FOR ALL THE EFFORT SHE S PUT INTO 5%! $ANCE3PORT AND FOR HELPING US HAVE ONE OF OUR MOST ENJOYABLE DAZZLING AND SUCCESSFUL YEARS EVER