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(!009 ")24($!9 #/.#2%4% #(!2)49 -/.%9 34/,%. 6ERITY $ANBOLD -AKE 0OVERTY (ISTORY CONTINUED THEIR FUNDRAISING EFFORTS WITH A HOUR LONG PARTY LAST WEEK (OW EVER DISASTER STRUCK WHEN A THIEF STOLE THE MONEY THEY HAD RAISED FROM THE EVENT 7ITH PREVIOUS SUCCESSES UNDER THEIR BELT SUCH AS THE -S 5%! 0AGEANT AND THEIR SHANTY TOWN ABOVE THE 3QUARE THEY WENT ONE BIGGER THIS TIME WITH 2EVOLUTION 2EVOLUTION WAS A HOUR PARTY TO RAISE MONEY FOR CHARITY 4HEY STARTED OFF DANCING AT 3ONIC FOR

HOURS TO THE APPROPRIATELY lLTHY TUNES OF $IRTY %LECTRONIC -USIC 3OCIETY 0ARTYGOERS WENT ON TO 0AM S (OUSE AND #ARRY /N WITH THE AFTER PARTY ENDING AT AM HOURS SEVERAL $*S FROM $%-3 TO %DDIE (ALLIWELL AND FOUR VENUES AFTER THEY HAD STARTED 4HE WHOLE EVENT WAS HOSTED TO RAISE MONEY FOR %ARTH !ID !SIA AN ORGANISATION THAT DOES EVERYTHING FROM SETING UP WOMEN S DEVELOPMENT CENTRES TO HELPING PAY FOR MEDICAL OPERA TIONS !TTENDEES OF 2EVOLUTION WERE lLLED WITH PRAISE 3ECOND YEAR -IKE 7INDER DESCRIBED THE NIGHT AS hA

HARDCORE MASH UP FULlLLING THE DESIRE TO PARTY ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT IN THE NAME OF CHARITY v /RGAN IZER 6ERITY $ANBOLD AGREED h7E ACHIEVED EVERYTHING WE SET OUT TO DO 7E RAISED AWARENESS GOT EVERY ONE INVOLVED PEOPLE WERE COMING UP FROM #AMBRIDGE FOR THE EVENT !ND WE ALL HAD AN AMAZING NIGHT v 2EVOLUTION STARTED AND ENDED BRILLIANTLY %VERYONE HAD A FANTASTIC TIME AND ALL THE OTHER SOCIETIES NIGHTCLUBS AND ORGANISA TIONS APPROACHED WERE INCREDIBLY HELPFUL (OWEVER WHEN ORGANISERS WENT UP TO COLLECT THE MONEY ON THE MOVE BETWEEN 0AM S AND #ARRY /N THEY FOUND IT MISSING A HUGE

BLOW TO THE SUCCESS OF THE NIGHT 7HILE ORGANISERS SAY THEY ARE PLEASED WITH HOW WELL THE EVENT WENT AND HOW WELL IT RAISED THE PROlLE OF %ARTH !ID !SIA THEY ARE SHOCKED AT THE LOSS OF THE MONEY "ETH "URNS A lRST YEAR 00% STUDENT EXPRESSED HER SHOCK AT THE INCIDENT SAYING WHAT MANY PEOPLE HAD WONDERED hHOW CAN YOU STEAL FROM CHARITY v -AKE 0OVERTY (ISTORY IS ASKING ANYONE WITH ANY INFORMATION OF WHAT HAPPENED TO THE MONEY TO PLEASE COME FORWARD 4HE SOCIETY IS NOT INTERESTED IN ANY THING MORE THAN GETTING THE MONEY BACK SO THE THIEF SHOULD NOT BE AFRAID TO COME FORWARD

-AKE 0OVERTY (ISTORY AND %ARTH !ID !SIA WOULD GREATLY APPRECIATE ANY DONATIONS YOU WOULD LIKE TO MAKE TO COVER THIS LOSS ! DONA TION BUCKET WILL BE PLACED IN THE #ONCRETE OFlCE -AKE 0OVERTY (ISTORY WISHES TO THANK ALL THE PEOPLE WHO CAME TO 2EVOLUTION AS WELL AS ALL THE PEO PLE AND ORGANIZATIONS WHO HELPED OUT #HANGE )) IS THE NEXT -0( EVENT TO BE HOSTED IN THE (IVE ON -ONDAY TH AND THIS TIME THE ORGANISERS HOPE THAT THE MONEY WILL MAKE IT TO THE CHARITY

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7EDNESDAY TH &EBRUARY

7ARNING ABOUT RELEASED THIEF ING BROKEN INTO 3UFFOLK 4ERRACE RESIDENCES IN &EBRUARY /N TOP OF THE TWO YEAR CAMPUS BAN )VES +EELER MUST SERVE AN MONTH SUSPENDED JAIL SENTENCE HOURS OF UNPAID WORK AND MUST ENROLL UPON h4HINK &IRSTv AND DRUG REHA BILITATION COURSES 3TUDENTS ARE ADVISED TO NOTIFY SECURITY ON IF THEY SEE )VES +EELER AROUND CAMPUS 3TUDENTS MAY ALSO WITH WISH TO

*OHN -UCH

!NNA S %DITORIAL 4HIS YEAR #ONCRETE IS YEARS OLD THIS ISSUE IS OUR TH AND IT IS ALSO THE 6ALENTINE S ISSUE ) HOPE YOU WILL ALL ENJOY OUR SAUCY LOVE ISSUE )N HONOUR OF #ONCRETE COMING OUT ON 6ALENTINE S $AY WE HAVE GONE ALL MUSHY &OR ANYONE WHO IS FEELING MOROSE ABOUT BEING SINGLE ON 6ALENTINES $AY BUCK UP YOUR IDEAS AND GET A LIFE 4HERE MUST BE SOME ONE OR SOMETHING YOU LOVE AND SOMEONE WHO LOVES YOU ) FOR ONE LOVE MY FAMILY FRIENDS AND FACTS /H YES YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ THE CONFESSIONS OF A GEEKY MIND &IRST FACT &EBRUARY ALIAS #AKE MONTH HAS ONLY BEEN CALLED &EBRUARY IN THE LAST YEARS )TS OTHER NAMES INCLUDE @LITTLE MONTH AND THE ORIGINAL NAME @&EBRUA MEANING CLEANS ING OR PURIlCATION 3ECOND FACT 3NOWDROPS ARE GIVEN IN &EBRU ARY AND THEY ARE A SYMBOL OF THE HOPE THAT ORIGINATED AFTER !DAM AND %VE WERE EXPELLED FROM THE 'ARDEN OF %DEN &ACT THREE IN $ENMARK THEY GIVE SNOWDROPS INSTEAD OF 2OSES ON 6ALENTINES $AY 4HERE WE GO WITH A FEW LINKS WE ARE BACK TO THE DAY OF LURVE )N SOME ISSUES THIS BEING ONE OF THEM THERE ARE SO MANY CONTRADICTORY POINTS OF VIEW AND IDEAS )T MIGHT SOUND STRANGE BUT THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT ) HOPED TO ACHIEVE THIS YEAR !LTHOUGH ) ULTIMATELY DECIDE THE EDITORIAL CONTENT ) HAVE NEVER WISHED TO DICTATE THE TONE OR CONTENT OF THE NEWSPAPER TO INDULGE MY OWN IDEALS 4HAT IS NOT WHAT #ON CRETE S FUNCTION IS ) STILL DON T FEEL WE REPRESENT THE BREADTH OF CHARACTERS AND VOICES WE HAVE HERE AT 5%! BUT WE ARE GETTING THERE

! MAN RESPONSIBLE FOR BURGLING 5%! RESIDENCES ON MORE THAN ONE OCCASION HAS RECENTLY BEEN BANNED FROM CAMPUS FOR TWO YEARS 3COTT )VES +EELER PICTURED APPEARED IN COURT ON *ANUARY TH FOR SENTENCING HAVING ADMITTED TO BURGLING A .ORFOLK 4ERRACE RESI DENCE ON (ALLOWEEN OF LAST YEAR 4HE MAN WAS SPOTTED BY A STUDENT WHILST GETTING READY FOR A NIGHT OUT AT THE ,#2 (AVING CONCLUDED THE MAN WAS NOT A RESIDENT OF THE DORMS STUDENTS CONFRONTED )VES +EELER AND TOOK A PICTURE OF HIM )VES +EELER IS SAID TO HAVE AS SUMED A -IDDLE %ASTERN ACCENT WHEN QUESTIONED AND PRETENDED

v )VES +EELER IS SAID TO NOT UNDERSTAND %NGLISH (E DID SAY HOWEVER THAT HE HAD ONLY COME IN TO USE THE TOILET 0OSTERS HAVE ALREADY BEEN DIS PLAYED AROUND CAMPUS INFORMING STUDENTS OF THE CURRENT SITUATION

5NDER FEARS THAT HE MAY STRIKE AGAIN STUDENTS MUST BE WARY OF ANYONE THEY DO NOT RECOGNIZE EN TERING THEIR HALL OF RESIDENCES )VES +EELER HAS ALREADY BEEN IMPRISONED FOR MONTHS HAV

TO HAVE ASSUMED A -IDDLE %ASTERN AC CENT

CONSULT THE FACEBOOK GROUP @'IVE THE 5%! THIEF THERAPY AND A CUP OF TEA FOR AN OPPORTUNITY TO DISCUSS HIS ANTICS

5NION TO HIRE POST ,#2 POLICE *ANE $OUGLAS .EWS %DITOR 4HE 5NION HAS DECIDED TO HIRE POLICE TO PATROL THE EDGE OF CAMPUS AFTER POPULAR ,#2S TO LOOK FOR NOISY STUDENTS WHO HAVE BEEN CAUSING GRIEF TO LOCAL RESIDENTS /NE UNIFORMED OFlCER AND ONE COMMUNITY OFlCER WILL PATROL AT THE COST OF a PER NIGHT 4HE MOVE COMES AFTER A STREAM OF COMPLAINTS FROM LOCAL RESIDENTS ABOUT STUDENTS WAKING THEM UP ON 4UESDAY NIGHTS 4HIS HAS CAUSED A LOT OF BAD FEELING TOWARD THE 5NIVERSITY 4HE LOCAL PRESS HAS HIGHLIGHTED THE PROBLEM AND LOCAL COUNCILLORS ARE URGING RESIDENTS TO REPORT STUDENT ANTICS TO THE POLICE %NTERTAINMENTS -ANAGER FOR THE 5NION .ICK 2EINS SAID h4HE INTENTION IS TO PRESERVE GOOD RELA TIONS WITH OUR NEIGHBOURS )F THE PROBLEM CONTINUES THEY MAY WELL IMPOSE RESTRICTIONS ON OUR LICENSE v

4HIS COULD POTENTIALLY MEAN THE BARS CLOSING EARLIER AT GREAT EX PENSE TO THE 5NION AND OF COURSE TO STUDENTS !LTHOUGH IT IS CONSIDERED TO BE A MINORITY OF STUDENTS THAT ARE

CAUSING THE PROBLEM PARTICULARLY IN THE !VENUES AREA THE 5NION HAS DONE EVERYTHING IN ITS POWER TO HELP DEFUSE THE SITUATION INCLUD ING LAYING ON A FREE BUS WHICH RUNS DOWN %ARLHAM 2OAD AFTER POPULAR

,#2S %DDIE 3HIELDS &INANCE /FlCER COMMENTED h(IRING THE POLICE WILL BE EXTREMELY EXPENSIVE BUT WE HAVE TO DO IT v /NE COMPLAINT ALLEGED THAT STUDENTS HAD BEEN SEEN TAKING PICTURES OF EACH OTHER JUMPING ON CARS (OWEVER WHEN POLICE ARRIVED THEY DID NOT lND ANYTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY %DDIE ADDED h7HILE ) SUSPECT THAT SOME OF THE REPORTS ARE EXAG GERATED WE HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING WE CAN TO ENSURE THAT THE LOCAL RESIDENTS ARE NOT DISTURBED v 7HILE EVERYONE RECOGNISES THIS IS A TWO WAY PROBLEM WITH LOCALS BREAKING INTO THE 5NIVERSITY #OUNCIL #HAMBERS LAST WEEK AND TRASHING THE INTERIOR STUDENTS ONLY INTENSIFY RESENTMENT BY CAUSING DISRUPTION FOR LOCALS PEOPLE )F YOU NOTICE ANYTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY CALL SECURITY ON

7ORST ATTACK YET LEAVES ONE HOSPITALISED ,OUIS (OLDING 0ARSONS $EPUTY %DITOR &IVE 5%! STUDENTS WERE ATTACKED IN %ATON PARK ON 4HURSDAY &EBRU ARY ND 4HE lVE MEN AGED BETWEEN THEIR LATE TEENS AND LATE TWENTIES WERE ON THEIR WAY THROUGH %ATON PARK AT AROUND PM RETURNING FROM 5%! VOLLEYBALL PRACTICE /N APPROACHING THE BOATING LAKE THEY NOTICED A GROUP OF HOODED YOUTHS &EELING THREATENED THEY ACCELERATED THEIR PACE BUT WITHIN MINUTES THIS GROUP HAD RUN INTO THE lVE 5%! STUDENTS 4WO MANAGED TO RUN AWAY WHILE THE REMAINING THREE

WERE REPEATEDLY SET UPON BY THE GROUP OF TEENAGERS WHO NUMBERED AND WERE DESCRIBED AS BEING YEARS OLD DRESSED IN HOOD IES TRACKSUITS AND BASEBALL CAPS 4HE THREE WERE REPEATEDLY KICKED AND PUNCHED WITH ALL THREE ENDING UP ON THE mOOR TRYING TO PROTECT THEMSELVES FROM THE REPEATED AT TACKS /NE STUDENT WAS ACTUALLY HELD BY THE YOUTHS WHILE HIS ACCOM PLICES HIT HIM !NOTHER WAS HIT TWICE ACROSS THE LEGS WITH A SCOOTER CHAIN WHICH CAUSED HIM TO HAVE A BRUISED KNEE AND LEFT HIM LIMPING AFTER THE ATTACK 4HE GROUP S ORDEAL LASTED A FULL lVE MINUTES AFTER WHICH THE

YOUTHS TOOK THEIR BAGS AND A LAP TOP ALL OF WHICH WERE SUBSEQUENTLY RECOVERED AND RAN AWAY !T ONE POINT IN THE ATTACK ONE OF THE YOUTHS WAS HEARD TO SAY TO THE ND YEAR COMPUTER SCIENCE STUDENT hYOU ARE GOING TO HAVE TO BITE THE FUCKING CURBv WHICH THE VICTIM SUGGESTED WAS IN REFERENCE TO THE lLM !MERICAN HISTORY 8 4HIS LATTER STUDENT SUFFERED THE MOST SEVERE INJURIES WITH SIX STICHES RE QUIRED FOR A CUT UNDER HIS EYE WITH A BLOODBAG ABOVE THESE STITCHES AS WELL AS A GASHED AND BRUISED KNEE 7HEN THE 0OLICE WERE CALLED ONLY ONE OFlCER IMMEDIATELY RESPONDED hDUE TO IT BEING A BUSY NIGHTv 4HIS OFlCER REMARKED TO

ONE OF THE VICTIMS hWHY DIDN T YOU lGHT BACK v 4O WHICH THE VICTIM SAID THAT THE ATTACK HAPPENED SO QUICKLY AND OUT OF THE BLUE THERE WAS NO VERBALS BEFORE THE ATTACK OR ANY PROVOCATION OF ANY KIND THAT THEY NEVER HAD A CHANCE 4WO OF THE VICTIMS WERE DISAP POINTED AT THE SLOW RESPONSE ONCE HAD BEEN DIALLED %ARLIER ON THAT 4HURSDAY EVENING A GROUP OF YOUTHS MATCHING THE ABOVE DESCRIPTION WAS SEEN WONDERING AROUND CAMPUS WITH ONE STUDENT BEING SO CONCERNED AS TO THEIR DEMEANOUR AND BEHAVIOUR THAT HE CALLED SECURITY REPORTING THEM AS A THREAT TO THE SECURITY OF STUDENTS

#/.#2%4%

7EDNESDAY TH &EBRUARY

6OLUNTEER 7EEK #OMES TO 5%! 5%! 6OLUNTEER S 7EEK IS BACK WITH PLENTY OF CHANCES TO GET INVOLVED WITH PROJECTS ACROSS .ORWICH 3TARTING &EBRUARY TH STUDENTS WILL HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO GET INVOLVED AND BOOST THEIR #6S BY VOLUNTEERING ON ONE OF 5%! S MANY PROJECTS &OR THOSE WHO REALLY WANT TO GET INVOLVED 5%! IS RECRUITING SCIENCE AND ENGINEERING AMBASSADORS AND SPORTS COACHES TO STIMULATE INTEREST IN YOUNG PEOPLE 4HERE WILL ALSO BE A SHOE COLLEC TION IN THE (IVE ALL WEEK AND A "RING AND "UY SALE ON 4UESDAY TH WHERE STUDENTS ARE INVITED TO DONATE AND BUY GOODS TO RAISE MONEY FOR CHARITY

!NNUAL )NTERNA TIONAL 0ARTY #OME AND TASTE FOODS FROM OVER TWENTY DIFFERENT COUNTRIES AND SEE SPECTACULAR PERFORMANCES FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD AT THE )NTERNATIONAL 0ARTY ON &EBRUARY TH 4HIS YEAR S PARTY PROMISES TO BE BETTER THAN EVER BEFORE WITH THE CHANCE TO WIN A PRIZE WHEN YOU VE EATEN FOOD FROM EVERY STALL AND A FREE RECIPE BOOK FOR EVERY ATTENDEE $OORS OPEN AT PM AND FOOD WILL BE SERVED UNTIL THE MAIN PERFORM ANCES BEGIN AT PM 4ICKETS ARE ON SALE NOW FOR a FROM THE 5NION "OX /FlCE IN THE (IVE

6AGINA DAY AT 5%! #ONSTANZE !RNOLD )F YOU VE EVER WONDERED WHAT WOMEN REALLY THINK OF HAVING TO SHOVE DRY WADS OF COTTON UP THEIR VAGINAS OR FELT LIKE THE ONLY WOMAN ON THE PLANET WHO lNDS THONGS UTTERLY POINTLESS THEN 4HE 6AGINA -ONOLOGUES SHOULD MOST DElNITELY BE ON YOUR @TO SEE LIST NEXT MONTH 7RITTEN BY PLAY WRIGHT AND FEMINIST %VE %NSLER 4HE 6AGINA -ONOLOGUES IS THE PLAY THAT SPAWNED THE CHARITY ORGANISA TION 6 $AY WHICH THROUGH PUBLIC PERFORMANCES OF %NSLER S AWARD WINNING PLAY RAISES MONEY TO HELP END VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN AND GIRLS 3INCE 6 $AY HAS BEEN HUGELY SUCCESSFUL IN CREATING AWARENESS OF VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN AND RAISING MONEY FOR EXISTING ANTI VIOLENCE ORGANISA TIONS )N ALONE OVER 6 $AY BENElT EVENTS TOOK PLACE PRODUCED BY VOLUNTEER ACTIVISTS ALL OVER THE WORLD EDUCATING MILLIONS OF PEOPLE ABOUT THE NATURE AND DEGREE OF VIOLENT ACTS COMMITTED

AGAINST WOMEN 4HIS YEAR 5%! IS JOINING THEM 4HE 6AGINA -ONOLOGUES TACKLES THE TABOOS OF SEX ORGASM CHILD BIRTH MUTILATION RAPE AND OF COURSE THE INTRICATE DETAILS OF THE VAGINA HEAD ON )N -Y !NGRY 6A GINA ONE WOMAN TALKS ON BEHALF OF HER PRIVATES ABOUT ALL OF THOSE THINGS A GIRL JUST DOESN T WANT DOWN THERE WHILST ANOTHER SPEAK ER CONlDENTLY DEFENDS HER RIGHT TO WEAR WHAT EVER SHE PLEASES IN THE INSPIRING -Y 3HORT 3KIRT (OWEVER SOME MONOLOGUES SUCH AS 4HE -EMORY OF (ER &ACE ARE MUCH MORE HARD HITTING CALLING ATTENTION TO THE DARKER SIDE OF WOMEN S EXPE RIENCES ,IKE ANY GOOD PIECE OF THEATRE 4HE 6AGINA -ONOLOGUES WILL BOTH MOVE AND ENTER TAIN AND WITH MOST OF THE PROCEEDS GOING TO ,EEWAY 7OMEN S !ID IN .ORWICH A BAT TERED WOMEN S SHELTER THAT PROVIDES LEGAL lNANCIAL AND HOUS

ING ADVICE AS WELL AS EMERGENCY ACCOMMODATION AND THE REST TO 7OMEN IN #ONmICT :ONES IT IS A HUGELY WORTHWHILE CAUSE 4HE 5%! 6 DAY #AMPAIGN WILL ALSO BE HOSTING A SERIES OF EVENTS IN ORDER TO RAISE MONEY AND AWARENESS /N -ARCH RD THERE WILL BE A @SLAVE AUCTION IN THE "LUE "AR ALONG WITH SELECTED SONGS AND MONOLOGUES PERFORMED

BY THE CAST &URTHERMORE A ONE OFF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE WORKSHOP WILL BE RUN BY A TRAINER FROM ,EEWAY 7OMEN S !ID 4HE 6AGINA -ONOLOGUES WILL BE PERFORMED ON 7EDNESDAY -ARCH TH AND 4HURSDAY -ARCH TH AT PM IN THE 5%! $RAMA 3TUDIO 4ICKETS ARE a a FOR NON STU DENTS AND MAY BE PURCHASED IN THE (IVE OR IN THE $RAMA 3TUDIO

,AB &RAUD ,AB ASSISTANTS SWINDLE 5NIVERSITY OUT OF a .ATALIE ,ASANCE !SSISTANT .EWS %DITOR

h 4HEY ADMITTED TO COMMITTING FRAUD BY OVERCHARGING h

4HE 5NIVERSITY HAS BEEN SCAMMED OUT OF a BY TWO MEN WHO OVERCHARGED FOR LAB EQUIPMENT 2OBERT !SHBY AND #LYDE (AR RIS HAVE APPEARED IN .ORWICH #ROWN #OURT OVER CHARGES THAT THEY CHEATED THE 5NIVERSITY -R !SHBY A STORE MAN AT 5%! AND -R (ARRIS THE MANAGING

DIRECTOR OF A COMPANY THAT SOLD LABORATORY EQUIPMENT TO THE 3CHOOL OF "IOLOGICAL 3CIENCES MADE AN ESTIMATED a OVER A lVE YEAR PERIOD 4HEY ADMITTED TO COMMITTING FRAUD BY OVERCHARG ING THE UNIVERSITY AND THEN KEEP ING THE PROlTS 4HEY HAVE BOTH BEEN RELEASED FROM BAIL WHILST REPORTS ARE PRE PARED

Research Project: the Student Learning Experience How are you getting on with your studies? Do you want the chance to win £50? We are looking for undergraduate volunteers to take part in a research project examining the student learning experience. We want to get a better understanding of how well prepared students are for the academic side of university life so that individual learning experiences can be improved. Taking part in the research will involve talking about your expectations and experiences of studying at UEA. We are interested in the good and the bad stories you have to tell and all information will be treated as strictly conﬁdential.

5%! 3 .!+%$ #(!2)49 #!,%.$%2 #/-).' 4/ ! 7!,, .%!2 9/5

All participants will be entered for a draw for a £50 prize. The research has been commissioned by Aimhigher and is being carried out by the Von Hügel Institute in Cambridge. If you are interested in taking part, or want more information, please send an email marked ‘Research – UEA’ to Michael Watts at mw362@cam.ac.uk

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7EDNESDAY TH &EBRUARY #/.#2%4%

,UNCH WITH THE .53 3ECRETARY 3TEPHEN "ROWN THE .ATIONAL 3ECRETARY OF THE .53 RECENTLY VISITED 5%! FOR THE .53 REGIONAL CONFERENCE !T THE END OF THE CONFERENCE #ONCRETE WAS ABLE TO GRAB HIM FOR A MOMENT TO ASK HIM ABOUT SOME OF THE ISSUES AROUND THE .53 AND HIS SPECIALIST SUBJECT STRONG AND ACTIVE UNIONS 2ICHARD 2EYNOLDS $EPUTY .EWS %DITOR &IRST WE ARE AWARE THAT .53 IS MADE UP MAINLY OF LARGE FACTIONS 7HICH ARE YOU A MEMBER OF AND WHY ) M A MEMBER OF THE ORGANISED INDEPENDENTS n IT S A NAME THAT S GIVEN TO US RATHER THAN A NAME WE GAVE OURSELVES !CTUALLY IT WAS A GROUP OF PEOPLE WHO ABOUT TEN YEARS AGO WHEN .53 WAS DOMINATED BY ONE FACTION ,ABOUR STUDENTS THEY GOT TOGETHER TO HELP SUPPORT EACH OTHER 4HERE WERE A LOT OF REALLY GOOD PEOPLE OUT THERE SOME OF WHOM WERE ,ABOUR 0ARTY MEMBERS BUT DID NOT WANT TO AFlLIATE WITH ,ABOUR 3TUDENTS ;THE FACTION IN .53= 4HIS ALLOWS THOSE WHO DON T WANT TO TAKE AN OUTSIDE LINE FROM THE ,ABOUR 0ARTY TO AVOID DOING SO !ND OUTSIDE .53 ) M A MEMBER OF THE ,ABOUR 0ARTY

/N ,ADS -AGS -OVING ON TO THE MAIN QUESTIONS lRST THERE IS THE ISSUE OF .53 REPRESENTATION 4HE .53 SEEMS REMOTE TO MANY STUDENTS AND WITH POLICIES LIKE THE BAN ON hLADgS MAGSv PARTY CONTROL OF THE GROUPS AT CONFERENCE AND THE .53 POLICY OF hNO PLATFORMv FOR MANY EXTREME GROUPS 7HAT IS YOUR VIEW ON EACH OF THESE AREAS AND MORE BROADLY WHAT DO YOU THINK SHOULD BE DONE TO COMBAT APATHY AMONG STUDENTS 7ELL SINCE IT WAS THE WOMEN S CONFERENCE THAT PASSED THE hLADgS MAGSv MOTION ) M NOT WILLING TO COMMENT COMPREHENSIVELY BECAUSE ) DON T SELF DElNE AS A WOMAN ) AM VERY PASSIONATE ABOUT WOMEN S RIGHT TO PROMOTE THEIR OWN ISSUES n SAYING THAT ) WOULD NOT SAY THAT WANTING TO PUT THESE ON THE TOP SHELF IS NECESSARILY A RADICAL FEMINIST IDEA !ND BANNING THEM FROM SALE )T S BECOME BANNING BUT PREVIOUSLY IT WAS PUTTING THEM ON THE TOP SHELF !ND LETgS FACE

IT THERE ARE ACTUALLY A NUMBER OF STUDENT UNIONS WHO DO BAN MANY PUBLICATIONS CERTAINLY AT MY STUDENT UNION WE BAN THE $AILY -AIL AMONG OTHERS FOR EXAMPLE !ND IF YOU SAY THAT THE WOMEN S DELEGATES AT THAT CONFERENCE ARE NOT REPRESENTATIVE OF STUDENTS AT LARGE WELL THAT S MORE A PROBLEM OF DEMOCRACY AND STUDENT UNION DEMOCRACY AND THAT S A MUCH BIGGER PROBLEM /N THE SECOND ISSUE OF .O 0LATFORM GROUPS WE DO SUPPORT NO PLATFORM POLICIES NOT ALL STUDENT UNIONS TAKE IT UP OF COURSE "UT ITgS SOMETHING WE FEEL VERY PASSIONATELY ABOUT 7E VE ALWAYS SAID THAT WE DON T BELIEVE THAT FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION OR SPEECH SHOULD BE USED AS AN EXCUSE TO BRING FASCISTS ON PLATFORMS ! PREVIOUS COLLEAGUE SUMMED IT UP RATHER WELL ) THINK PEOPLE USED TO SAY WE NEED TO GET THESE PEOPLE IN AND DEFEAT THEIR ARGUMENTS AND ) SAID WELL lVE MILLION *EWS DIDN T DIE IN THE HOLOCAUST BECAUSE THERE ARGUMENTS WEREN T STRONG ENOUGH !ND MANY OF THE GROUPS WE HAVE NO PLATFORM ON SUCH AS THE ".0 ARE EFFECTIVELY .AZI PARTIES 3O BY BRINGING THESE PEOPLE ON TO CAMPUS YOU THINK YOU COULD CREATE ANOTHER HOLOCAUST ) WOULDN T NECESSARILY THINK THAT OR SAY THAT HOWEVER ) DON T SEE A VERBAL DIALOGUE BETWEEN FASCISTS AND A FAIRLY LIBERAL GROUP OF STUDENTS MAKING ANY HEADWAY ) DON T THINK THAT S A GOOD ARGUMENT AND ) WOULD ALSO SAY THAT SOMETIMES OUR DECISIONS HAVE TO BE BASED ON THE SAFETY OF STUDENTS AND A SIGNIlCANT NUMBER OF REPORTS SAY THAT WHEN GROUPS LIKE THE ".0 ARE ALLOWED ON CAMPUS VIOLENCE INCREASES THREEFOLD 4HOSE ARE THE TWO REASONS WHY WE BELIEVE THERE SHOULD BE NO PLATFORMS )N TERMS OF PARTY CONTROL ITgS FAIR TO SAY THAT THE MAJORITY OF THE .%# ARE PROBABLY ,ABOUR 0ARTY MEMBERS OR ,ABOUR AFlLIATE MEMBERS (OWEVER ) CAN SAY FROM PERSONAL

EXPERIENCE BY NO MEANS DOES THAT MEAN WE AGREE ON ALL OR EVEN MOST ISSUES ) THINK ITgS UNFORTUNATE THAT 4ORY PEOPLE OR ,IBERAL $EMOCRATS DON T COME TO CONFERENCE BECAUSE THEY DON T FEEL THEY WOULD HAVE ANY OPPORTUNITY AND NO ONE WOULD LISTEN TO THEM ) OBVIOUSLY WOULDN T WANT 4ORIES OR ,IBERAL $EMOCRATS IN POWER HOWEVER ) REGRET THE BARRIER THEY FEEL IS THERE "UT IF YOU LOOK AT THE SURVEYS OF STUDENTS MOST OF THEM SAY THEY VOTE FOR THE ,IBERAL $EMOCRATS IN NATIONAL ELECTIONS BUT ,ABOUR WITHIN THE .53 ) DON T REALLY KNOW WHY THAT IS AND YOU D HAVE TO ASK THEM ABOUT IT

!CTIVISM 3TUDENTS HISTORICALLY AT LEAST HAVE BEEN A HUGELY POLITICALLY ACTIVE GROUP SO DO YOU THINK THERE ARE ANY UNDERLYING CAUSES THAT MIGHT STOP STUDENTS BOTHERING TO GET INVOLVED WITH .53 AND OR NATIONAL POLITICS )F ) KNEW THAT WOULD BE OUR MAIN CAMPAIGN ) STILL THINK STUDENTS ARE POLITICAL BUT ) THINK THEY ARE MOTIVATED IN A DIFFERENT WAY SUCH AS SINGLE ISSUE CAMPAIGNS LIKE -AKE 0OVERTY (ISTORY

.53 %XTRA /K MOVING ON A BIT TO THE .53 lNANCES AND .53 EXTRA ) WONDERED HOW YOU HAD FOUND IT HAD GONE NATIONALLY AND WHETHER YOU THINK IT WILL BE ABLE TO lLL THE HOLE IN .53 AND UNION lNANCES 7ELL ) THINK IT S A MISCONCEPTION TO SAY THAT .53 EXTRA WAS BROUGHT IN

SELlSHLY BY .53 TO lLL UP A BIG BLACK HOLE ) THINK .53 EXTRA IS SEEN AS A LONG TERM PROJECT AIMING TO HELP WITH LONG TERM STABILITY 4HE OTHER REASON IT IS TO GIVE STUDENT UNIONS ADDITIONAL MONEY 3O FAR THIS YEAR WE HAVE SEEN JUST OVER a GO BACK INTO THE STUDENT MOVEMENT THANKS TO .53 EXTRA

STUDENT UNIONS HAVE TO BE AND HOW WOULD THE 5LTRA 6IRES LAW CHARITIES CANNOT CAMPAIGN POLITICALLY AFFECT YOU

!ND HOW MANY CARDS DID YOU ESTIMATE YOU WOULD SELL THIS YEAR

&INALLY 5%! RECENTLY SET UP A COMMITTEE TO LOOK INTO THE ECONOMIC SITUATION IF WE WERE TO LEAVE THE .53 TO ALLOW A POLITICAL RATHER THAN ECONOMIC DEBATE TO FOLLOW 0ERHAPS YOU WOULD LIKE TO EXPLAINED WHY THE UNION SHOULD REMAIN A MEMBER OF .53 FOR POLITICAL REASONS RATHER THAN JUST OUR CURRENT ECONOMIC DEPENDENCE ON .53 COMMERCIAL WING .533,

7E ESTIMATED AROUND CARDS WE VE ACTUALLY SOLD TO THIS DATE AROUND HALF THAT AND ONE OF THE MAIN REASONS FOR NOT MEETING THAT TARGET SO FAR AND ACTUALLY IT DOES NOT LOOK LIKE WE ARE GOING TO MEET THAT TARGET IS THAT WE HAVE BEEN VERY OPEN ABOUT THE FACT THAT WE HAVEN T SUPPORTED &% COLLEGES ENOUGH TO SELL THE CARD !ND ANYWAY ANY PROJECT OF THIS SIZE WILL HAVE TEETHING ISSUES !S LONG AS THE CARD IS STILL VALUE FOR MONEY AND AS LONG AS PEOPLE ARE BUYING IT ITS WORTHWHILE KEEPING !ND WHAT OF THE CURRENT .53 DElCIT OF a 7E HAVE DECIDED TO GIVE OURSELVES THE AMBITIOUS TARGET OF CUTTING THAT TO BY THE END OF THIS YEAR 4HAT TARGET MAY SEEM UNREALISTIC TO MANY PEOPLE AND ) SAY WE ARE NOT GOING TO CUT CENTRAL SERVICES )F IT COMES TO A DECISION BETWEEN THE DEBT AND THE SERVICES WE WILL KEEP THE DEBT )T WILL BE A DIFlCULT AND LONG PROCESS AND WE WILL REPORT BACK AT CONFERENCE 7HAT OF THE POSSIBILITY OF THE .53 BECOMING A CHARITY LIKE ALL

/F COURSE THAT S ONE OF THE OPTIONS WE HAVE OFTEN THOUGHT OF HOWEVER ITgS NEVER BEEN SEEN AS A VIABLE OPTION FOR THE ORGANISATION

$ISSASSOCIATION

7ELL lRST WE HAVE CUT OFF AFlLIATION FEES THIS YEAR 4HERE ARE SO MANY THING THAT WE WORK ON LIKE TOP UP FEES AND PRESCRIPTIONS FOR STUDENTS AMONG MANY )F YOU LOOK AT THE WHOLE TOP UP FEES DEBATE WHAT WAS ORIGINALLY BEING PROPOSED WAS UNRESTRICTED FEES AND WE MANAGED TO GET THAT DOWN TO BE CAPPED AT a 0EOPLE NEED TO STAY A PART OF A COLLECTIVE BODY AND WE ARE THE BIGGEST STUDENT MOVEMENT IN THE WORLD !S THEY LOOK AT OUR TRACK RECORD OVER THE LAST FEW YEARS ) M CONlDENT THEY WILL SEE THE GOOD THE .53 DOES )& PEOPLE START DISAFlLIATING THEN THE ORGANISATION WONgT HAVE THE POWER TO DO WHAT IS NEEDED FOR STUDENTS )N OTHER WORDS YOU HAVE TO BE IN IT TO WIN IT

7EDNESDAY TH &EBRUARY #/.#2%4%

STUDENT UNIONS HAVE TO BE AND HOW WOULD THE 5LTRA 6IRES LAW CHARITIES CANNOT CAMPAIGN POLITICALLY AFFECT YOU

!ND HOW MANY CARDS DID YOU ESTIMATE YOU WOULD SELL THIS YEAR

/F COURSE THAT S ONE OF THE OPTIONS WE HAVE OFTEN THOUGHT OF HOWEVER ITgS NEVER BEEN SEEN AS A VIABLE OPTION FOR THE ORGANISATION

$ISAFlLIATION

#/.#2%4%

7EDNESDAY TH &EBRUARY

3USTAINABILITY PETITION 4HE SAME GROUP OF 5%! STUDENTS THAT ORGANISED THE @!RT FOR E!24H S 3AKE EVENT LAST SEMESTER IS PRO POSING THAT 5%! STUDENTS TAKE THE INITIATIVE ON ENVIRONMENTAL SUSTAINABILITY AND ESTABLISH A 5+ lRST 4HE 3USTAINABILITY )NITIATIVE &UND 43)& 4HE FUND WOULD BE FED BY A COMPULSORY ANNUAL PAYMENT OF A MERE a BY EACH STUDENT AND WOULD BE USED TO SPONSOR STUDENT PROJECTS THAT ENHANCE OUR 5%! CAMPUS ENVIRONMENTAL RECORD )F YOU BELIEVE IN THIS CAUSE YOU CAN SIGN THE @43)& PETITION AT THE 5NION 2ECEPTION )N ORDER FOR A REFERENDUM ON THE SUBJECT TO TAKE PLACE THE PETI TION MUST GET SIGNATURES

5%! TALENT JOKERS

! COMEDY NIGHT SHOWCASING 5%! TALENT SOLD OUT LAST WEEK 4HE EVENT WAS HOSTED BY 4HE 2OSE 4AVERN AND SAW 5%! STUDENTS 0AT #AHILL *OHN +EARNS AND 4OM -ORAN TAKE TO THE STAGE AS PART OF THE ,AUGH /UT ,OUD #OMEDY #LUB -EL 3PENCER A THIRD YEAR ,)4 STUDENT SAID h)T WAS A TONKING NIGHT !LL OF THE ACTS WERE GREAT v 5%! STAND UP COMICS CAN BE SEEN IN ACTION AGAIN AT %ARLHAM S $IRTY ,ITTLE 3ECRET ON 4UESDAY &EBRUARY TH AT 4HE 7ORKSHOP ON %ARLHAM 2OAD 4ICKETS COST a AND THE COMEDY STARTS FROM PM

,IBERATIONS /FlCER $ISQUALIlED &ROM %LECTIONS 2ICHARD 2EYNOLDS $EPUTY .EWS %DITOR !S THE NOMINATIONS CLOSED ON 7EDNESDAY ONE CANDIDATE -ARTIN *OPP WAS ALREADY OUT OF THE RUN NING HAVING BEING DISQUALIlED FROM THE ELECTIONS FOR CAMPAIGNING EARLY ,EGAL !DVICE WAS SOUGHT BY THE RETURNING OFlCERS WHEN A mYER PUBLISHED BY -ARTIN THE CURRENT ,IBERATIONS /FlCER WAS BROUGHT TO THEIR ATTENTION -ARTIN DISTRIBUTED THE mYER TO THE UNIVERSITY RESIDENCES LAST WEEK ENTITLED h-ARTIN *OPP 5NION %X ECUTIVE /FlCER 2EPORTING "ACKv 7HILE AT THE TIME NOT A DE CLARED CANDIDATE FOR NEXT YEAR S %XEC IT WAS COMMONLY BELIEVED THAT HE INTENDED TO STAND FOR THE FULL TIME SABBATICAL POSITION OF &INANCE /FlCER 4HE lRST SECTION OF THE mYER ENTITLED hABOUT MY ROLE v GIVES A BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF WHAT BEING A NON SABBATICAL OFlCER INVOLVES 4HIS SECTION IS NOT CONSIDERED CONTROVERSIAL (OWEVER THE SECOND AND LARGER SECTION IS ON THE 5NION lNANCES AND LIKE THE REAR OF THE mYER IT IS HIGHLY CRITICAL OF CURRENT 5NION POLICY

4HE MAIN PROBLEM IS A LINE IN BOLD AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE STAT ING h)T S TIME FOR A &INANCE /FlCER WHO UNDERSTANDS WHAT 5%! STU DENTS WANTv 4HIS ALONG WITH THE GENERAL TONE OF THE mYER WAS WHAT LEAD THE 2ETURNING /FlCER !NDY 0OTT THE 'ENERAL -ANAGER OF THE 5NION AND THE $EPUTY 2ETURNING /FlCER %DDIE 3HIELDS THE CURRENT &INANCE /FlCER TO APPROACH THEIR LAWYERS FOR ADVICE 'IVEN THE LAWYERS VIEW WAS THAT THE mYER DID COUNT AS CAMPAIGN ING THE $EPUTY 2ETURNING /FlCER %DDIE 3HIELDS TOOK THE DECISION TO BAN -ARTIN FROM THE ELECTIONS WHEN THE NOMINATIONS CLOSED ON 7EDNESDAY %DDIE 3HIELDS SAID h4HE ELEC TIONS ARE A TIME OF DEBATE AND DISCUSSION AROUND EXCITING AND IM PORTANT ISSUES NOT A TIME FOR SILLY POLITICAL GAMES 4HERE IS NO REASON TO CHEAT THERE IS VIRTUALLY NOTHING TO GAIN AND EVERYTHING TO LOSE v (OWEVER -ARTIN HAD THIS TO SAY IN RESPONSE @4HE ONLY PROBLEM THE LAWYER COULD lND WAS WITH ONE LINE OF THE LEAmET #ONSIDER ING THE FACT THAT THE OFFENCE IS SO SMALL AND THE LEAmET WAS ONLY DELIVERED TO A VERY SMALL PROPOR TION OF STUDENTS LIVING ON CAMPUS DEALING ME THE HARSHEST POSSIBLE PUNISHMENT SEEMS TO BE A HUGELY DISPROPORTIONATE RESPONSE

#ONCRETE UNDERSTANDS THAT -AR TIN WILL BE APPEALING THE DECISION OF %DDIE TO THE 2ETURNING OFlCER !NDY 0OTT WHOSE JOB IT IS TO OVER SEE THE $2/ S DECISIONS (OW EVER AS #ONCRETE GOES TO PRESS THE UNOFlCIAL UNDERSTANDING IN 5NION

(OUSE IS THAT THIS APPEAL WILL FAIL ! lNAL DECISION BY THE 2ETURN ING /FlCER IS EXPECTED SOON ON BOTH WHETHER TO SUPPORT THE RULING OF THE $2/ AND WHAT THE APPROPRI ATE PUNISHMENT IS

0ICK UP A DEGREE AT 4ESCO "EN 7OODS 4HE /PEN 5NIVERSITY AND 4ESCO HAVE DEVELOPED A NEW PARTNERSHIP ALLOWING CUSTOMERS TO PAY FOR DE GREES WITH 4ESCO #LUBCARD POINTS 4HEY WILL NOW OFFER CUSTOMERS THE OPPORTUNITY TO PAY FOR OR TO WARDS DEGREES WITH POINTS EARNED IN STORE h#USTOMERS CAN ACHIEVE SOME VALUABLE QUALIlCATIONS BY STUDY ING AT HOME AT THEIR OWN PACE WITHOUT HAVING TO GIVE UP THE DAY JOB v SAID .ICK -C#ORMACK HEAD OF PARTNERSHIPS AT 4ESCO &REETIME #LUBCARD HOLDERS WILL HAVE A CHOICE TO EXCHANGE THEIR VOUCH ERS AT FOUR TIMES THEIR NORMAL VALUE FOR FUNDS 0ROFESSOR "RENDA

'OURLEY 4HE /PEN 5NIVERSITY 6ICE #HANCELLOR SAID @4HE PART NERSHIP ALLOWS THE 5NIVERSITY TO EXTEND OUR REACH TO NEW STUDENTS WHO HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO GAIN ACCESS TO OUR COURSES WITHOUT INCURRING DEBT v 4HE #LUBCARD PARTNERSHIP IS ONE OF SEVERAL PROJECTS TO HELP 4HE /PEN 5NIVERSITY STUDENTS MEET THE COST OF THEIR FEES 4HE UNIVER SITY ALSO PROVIDES A STUDENT BUDGET ACCOUNT FOR THE MONTHLY PAYMENT OF COURSE FEES AND DEPENDING ON THE LEVEL OF HOUSEHOLD INCOME lNANCIAL HELP MAY ALSO BE AVAIL ABLE 4HE DEAL COMES IN LIGHT OF THE COMPETITION FROM OTHER SUPERMAR KET CHAINS BROADENING THE LEVEL OF CHOICE AS TO HOW CUSTOMERS CAN SPEND THEIR STORE CARD POINTS

$RUNKEN FALL INTO (IVE 'RAD STUDENT FALLS SIX FEET OVER BANISTERS OUTSIDE GRAD BAR 3AM %MANUEL ! 5%! POSTGRADUATE STUDENT HAD A LUCKY ESCAPE AFTER FALLING HEADlRST FROM THE TOP OF THE (IVE STAIRS 4HE STUDENT HAD BEEN DRINKING IN THE GRAD BAR PRIOR TO HIS SIX METRE PLUNGE OVER THE BACK STAIRWAY RAILINGS IN 5NION (OUSE %NTERTAINMENTS $UTY -ANAGER 'AVIN (UDSON WAS ON DUTY WHEN THE INCIDENT OC CURRED h)T S A GOOD JOB HE WAS SUFlCIENTLY RE LAXED WHEN HE HIT THE mOOR v 'AVIN SAID h(E

WAS REALLY LUCKY 2EALISTICALLY A FALL FROM THAT HEIGHT COULD EASILY KILL YOU 7HEN ) ARRIVED ON THE SCENE HE WAS UNCONSCIOUS AND LYING IN A CRUMPLED MESS WITH BLOOD ON HIS FACE v (E ADDED h.OBODY PUSHED HIM n THERE WAS NO SKULDUGGERY )T WAS AN ACCIDENT JUST CARELESSNESS REALLY v )T APPEARS THAT THE STU DENT WAS LEANING OVER THE RAILINGS TO SPEAK TO SOMEONE STANDING ON THE STAIRS BELOW WHEN HE LEANT TOO FAR AND FELL OVER THE TOP &ORTUNATELY THE INCIDENT COINCIDED WITH AN ,#2 SO THE 3T *OHNS !MBULANCE TEAM WERE ON HAND TO RESUSCITATE HIM 4HE STEWARD ON DUTY HAPPENED TO BE APPROACHING THE BOTTOM OF THE STAIRS AS THE STUDENT FELL OVER THE RAILINGS AND RADIOED FOR THE lRST AIDERS 4HEY WERE ABLE TO REVIVE THE UNCONSCIOUS CASUALTY AT THE SCENE AND AN AMBULANCE WAS CALLED WHICH ARRIVED AFTER lVE MINUTES TO TRANSPORT THE PATIENT TO .ORFOLK AND .ORWICH (OSPITAL )T APPEARS THAT NO SERIOUS INJURIES WERE SUSTAINED AND THE POSTGRADUATE HAS MADE A SPEEDY RECOVERY h7E HEARD BACK THAT HE WAS TEXTING HIS MATES FROM THE HOSPITAL BY 4HURSDAY v SAID 'AVIN WHO IS KEEN TO DISPEL ANY RUMOURS OF 5NIVERSITY NEGLIGENCE IN THE MATTER h4HE RAILING IS ABSOLUTELY SOLID v HE SAID h4HERE ARE THINGS TO HOLD ON TO DOWN THE STAIRS SO YOU DON T TRIP v 4HE 5NIVERSITY COMPLIED WITH THE OB LIGATORY LEGAL PROCEDURES RELATING TO SERIOUS INCIDENTS lLLING OUT AN ACCIDENT REPORT FORM AND ARE NOW FOLLOWING THE INCIDENT UP 'AVIN ADVISED h4HE MORAL OF THE STORY IS DON T LEAN OVER STAIR RAILINGS v

7EDNESDAY TH &EBRUARY #/.#2%4%

5%! S 2ISING 3TAR -IRANDA "RYANT -ATT 3MITH AN EX 5%! STUDENT HAS LANDED HIMSELF A MAIN ACTING ROLE IN ""# POLITICAL DRAMA 0ARTY !NIMALS 4HE SERIES WHICH STARTED ON *ANUARY ST AND CONTINUES ON 7EDNESDAYS ON ""# FEATURES 3MITH PLAYING LABOUR RESEARCHER $ANNY &OSTER 0ARTY !NIMALS A PROGRAMME WHICH CLAIMS TO SHOW 7ESTMINSTER @FROM THE GROUND UP PRESENTS YOUNG POLITICAL ADVISERS AND RESEARCHERS IN THEIR PROFESSIONAL LIFE AND MOST IMPORTANTLY THEIR PERSONAL LIVES )N AN INTERVIEW WITH THE ""# 3MITH DESCRIBES HIS CHARACTER $AN NY AS HAVING hA ROMANTIC MORAL TAKE ON THE POLITICAL WORLD AND AT THE SAME TIME CAN BE DEEPLY CYNI CAL ABOUT LIFE OUTSIDE POLITICS HIS FAMILY ETC (E HAS A DRY SENSE OF HUMOUR AND A QUICK WIT %MOTION ALLY HE S WHAT YOU MIGHT DEEM UN CULTURED WITH WOMEN IN PARTICULAR $ANNY HAS AN INABILITY TO EXPRESS HOW HE FEELS AND BE HIMSELF v )N THE 'UARDIAN +ATIE 0ERRIOR A FORMER 4ORY PRESS ADVISER SINGLED

OUT 3MITH S PERFORMANCE COM MENDING HOW CLOSE TO LIFE HIS CHAR ACTER WAS h4HERE ARE LOTS OF YOUNG $ANNYS IN PARLIAMENT ) THINK WE RE ALL LIKE $ANNY AT THE BEGIN NING UNTIL WE GET TOO CYNICAL v /N .EWSNIGHT 2EVIEW THE PROGRAMME GOT MIXED REVIEWS THE SCRIPT WAS CRITICISED BUT THE ACTING COMMENDED 3MITH S TELEVISION DEBUT WAS SHORTLY BEFORE THE lRST EPISODE OF 0ARTY !NIMALS (E APPEARED ALONG SIDE "ILLIE 0IPER AND *ULIE 7ALTERS IN ""# S TELEVISION ADAPTATION OF 0HILIP 0ULLMAN S 4HE 2UBY IN THE 3MOKE WHICH WAS SCREENED AT THE END OF LAST YEAR

3MITH WAS A PROFESSIONAL ACTOR BEFORE HE GRADUATED FROM 5%! IN $URING HIS lNAL YEAR AND PRIOR TO GRADUATION HE PERFORMED AT THE .ATIONAL 4HEATRE WITH THE 2OYAL %XCHANGE 4HEATRE IN /N THE 3HORE OF THE 7IDE 7ORLD AND BEFORE THAT &RESH +ILLS AT THE 2OYAL #OURT 4HEATRE )N /CTOBER SHORTLY AFTER GRADUATING 3MITH RETURNED TO .ORWICH NOT AS A STUDENT BUT AS ONE OF !LAN "ENNETT S (ISTORY "OYS WHERE HE PLAYED ,OCKWOOD IN THE .ATIONAL 4HEATRE S TOURING PRODUC TION )N AN INTERVIEW WITH 4HE 3TAGE /NLINE 3MITH COMMENTS ON THE

EXPERIENCE OF TOURING !LAN "EN NETT S MULTI AWARD WINNING PLAY h;4HE= (ISTORY "OYS WHAT A TOUR THAT WAS 7E PLAYED REALLY BIG THEATRES TO LARGE AUDIENCES 3OME PEOPLE HAVE SEEN IT TWICE YET THE RECORD MUST BE A COUPLE WHO HAVE BEEN TIMES 4HEY RE HEADED FOR THE "ROADWAY PRODUCTION TOO v -OST ACTORS OF 3MITH S AGE ARE FRESH OUT OF ACTING SCHOOL STRUG GLING FOR JOBS 3MITH HAS HAD NO FORMAL ACTING TRAINING OTHER THAN THE .ATIONAL 9OUTH 4HEATRE AND A DEGREE IN DRAMA FROM 5%! YET HE ALREADY POSSESSES A HIGHLY IMPRES SIVE #6

&REE MARTIAL ARTS LESSONS 4HERE ARE &2%% MARTIAL ARTS LESSONS EVERY 7EDNESDAY FROM TO IN 2OOM OF 5NION (OUSE 4HE INSTRUCTOR HAS BEEN PRACTIC ING MARTIAL ARTS FOR YEARS AND IS FULLY QUALIlED 4HE LESSONS ARE DESIGNED TO HELP WITH A HEALTHY LIVING REGIME AND ARE ALSO IN RESPONSE TO THE ATTACKS THAT HAVE BEEN HAPPENING AROUND #OLNEY AND THE !VENUES 2OOM IS LOCATED ABOVE THE (IVE PAST THE UPSTAIRS TOILETS ON THE LEFT &OR MORE INFORMATION CONTACT 7ELFARE /FlCER 3TEVIE !LTMAN AT SU WELFARE UEA AC UK

!NDY (IGSON AND *ESSICA 7OOLEY ENGAGED !NDY (IGSON FORMER #OMMUNICA TIONS /FlCER AND GRANDFATHER OF THE 5NION PROPOSED TO HIS GIRL FRIEND *ESSICA 7OOLEY ONE OF 5%! S BRIGHTEST STUDENTS LAST 3UNDAY #ONCRETE WOULD LIKE TO CON GRATULATE THE COUPLE AND WISH THEM A HAPPY FUTURE TOGETHER

#ONCRETE !WARDS &IONA "ILLINGS 4HIS WEEK SAW THE LAUNCH OF THE INAUGURAL #ONCRETE 3TUDENT AND 3TAFF !WARDS BY #ON CRETE EDITOR !NNA 3TEWARD 4HEY WILL ACKNOWLEDGE THE VARIOUS ACHIEVEMENTS OF THE MANY UNSUNG HEROES OF 5%! FROM ACADEMIC GENIUSES TO A SOCIETY ANGEL S AND WERE THE IDEA OF 0() STUDENT *OANNA ,AMBERT h4HERE ARE SO MANY DIFFERENT PEOPLE ON CAMPUS WHO CONTRIBUTE TO OUR EXPERIENCES v SAID *O hTHAT THEY DESERVE TO BE RECOGNISED 5NIVERSITY LIFE WOULDN T BE THE SAME WITH OUT THEM v ! &ACEBOOK GROUP HAS BEEN SET UP SO STUDENTS CAN POST THEIR IDEAS FOR AWARDS AND TO NOMINATE THOSE WHO THEY THINK SHOULD WIN THEM &OR EXAMPLE AWARDS ALREADY BE ING THOUGHT OF INCLUDE -OST !PPROACHABLE 0ERSON 3ERVICES TO THE ,#2 AND 'ENERAL %NTHUSIASM FOR 3TUDENT ,IFE !NNA 3TEWARD WHO IS CO ORDINATING THE AWARDS HAD THIS TO SAY h3TUDENTS ARE PORTRAYED QUITE NEGATIVELY IN THE MEDIA AND HAVE A BAD REPUTATION IN SOCIETY (OWEVER SO MANY STUDENTS ARE DOING WORTHWHILE THINGS HERE AT 5%! AND IN THE LARGER COM MUNITY WHETHER IT BE CHARITY WORK VOLUN TEERING EXCELLING ACADEMICALLY OR OVER COMING CERTAIN STRUGGLES AND ADVERSITIES 4HE CATEGORIES WILL BE DICTATED ENTIRELY BY STUDENTS AT THE MOMENT WE HAVE NOMINA TIONS FOR FUNNIEST MALE ACADEMIC ACHIEVERS WORK IN THE CHARITY AND VOLUNTEERS SECTOR SPORTING ACHIEVEMENT TALENTED ARTISTS AND

EVEN BEST MOUSTACHE -ANY STUDENTS HAVE EXPRESSED THEIR DISAPPOINTMENT THAT THEIR ACHIEVEMENTS AREN T RECOGNISED AT GRADUA TION SO THIS SEEMS LIKE THE PERFECT OPPORTU NITY TO CELEBRATE ALL THE GOOD THINGS THEY DO WHILE HERE AT 5%! v 4O NOMINATE PEOPLE WHO HAVE MADE A DIFFERENCE IN YOUR UNIVERSITY LIFE JUST JOIN THE &ACEBOOK GROUP #ONCRETE 3TUDENT !WARDS OR EMAIL YOUR SUGGESTIONS TO CONCRETE EDITOR UEA AC UK BY TH &EBRUARY

/PEN BANK HOLIDAYS -/.$!9 4(523$!9 PM &2)$!9 3!452$!9 -)$.)'(4 35.$!9 PM

W W

#/.#2%4%

7EDNESDAY TH &EBRUARY

3TUDENTS #ALL TO "OYCOTT 5NIVERISTY 4HE 5NIVERSITY 3QUARE WAS lLLED WITH ANGRY STUDENTS ON THE TH OF &EBRUARY AS THEY CAMPAIGNED FOR THE 5NION OF 5%! 3TUDENTS TO BOYCOTT LECTURES AS THEY WERE hUNETHICALv 3OME OF THE CHANTS HEARD WERE g,4 NO WAY MANg g,ECTURES ARE BAD /+g AND g/H 5%! ISNgT THAT WONDERFULg

,ESSON FREE &IRST 3EMESTER &RESHERS ARE UNHAPPY WITH A LESSON PACKED lRST SEMESTER A 5NION SURVEY HAS REVEALED !LVIN 7OGGLETHWAITE A lRST YEAR 4,# STUDENT COMPLAINED h)T S A NIGHTMARE 4HE 5NIVERSITY IS ACTING BANG OUT OF ORDER 3TUDENTS NEED PLENTY OF TIME TO SETTLE INTO THEIR NEW COURSE ) D SAY APPROXIMATELY THREE YEARS WOULD SUFlCE v /F THE PEOPLE SURVEYED IN THE 5NION "AR LAST 4HURSDAY SAID THEY WOULD APPRECIATE WORKSHOPS IN THE lRST SEMESTER DEALING WITH KEY SKILLS SUCH AS CURING HANGOVERS CHATTING UP BIRDS AND REMEMBERING WHERE THEY ACTUALLY LIVE AFTER A BOOZY NIGHT IN TOWN

4HE %NQUIRER

6EGETERIANS #AMPAIGN TO #HANGE 5NION S .AME 2ADISH 3WEDE 4HE 5NIVERSITY 3QUARE WAS lLLED WITH ANGRY VEGETARIANS IN WEEK AS THEY CAMPAIGNED FOR THE 5NION OF 5%! 3TUDENTS TO CHANGE ITS NAME TO THE /NION OF 5%!

3TUDENTS 4HEY WAVED A VARITY OF LEGUMES IN THE AIR INCLUDING TURNIPS CARROTS AND A SMALL AUBERGINE 4HE VEGGIE ACTIVISTS NOT ONLY INSIST ON A NAME CHANGE BUT ALSO THAT THE LOGO BE MADE UP OF TOMATOES RATHER THAN CIRCLES -ARJORIE 4RUSKETT #.$ EXPLAINED h&OR YEARS THE 5NION

4ESCO TO BUILD NEW STORE ON THE -OON ,IL (ELPS 3UPERMARKET GIANT 4ESCO REVEALED THAT IT HAS PLANS TO BUILD THE lRST EVER STORE ON THE SURFACE OF THE -OON )N WHAT CAN BE SEEN AS A GESTURE OF BLOODY MINDEDNESS TO THE REST OF HUMANITY 4ESCO BOSSES ESTIMATE THAT THE SUPERMARKET WILL BE OPEN BY 4HE #HIEF %XECUTIVE 4ORGAN 3PLICENARKET TOLD #ONCRETE THAT THE PLANS WERE NOT JUST PIE IN THE SKY h7ITH SOMETHING AS BIG AS 4ESCO YOU MUST ALWAYS BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR OPPORTUNITIES TO EXPAND !ND

THAT S WHAT HAPPENED TO ME WHEN ) LOOKED OUT OF MY WINDOW LAST NIGHT AND SAW THE -OON v HE SAID h4HERE IS HUGE POTENTIAL FOR 4ESCO IN SPACE AND WHO KNOWS IN THE NEXT FEW LIGHT YEARS !LPHA #ENTAURI MIGHT GET ITS lRST 4ESCO %XPRESS v

#ONCRETE RECOM MENDS 0HONEBOOK ,#2 (APPY 3LAPPY 7HIPPING &RENZY 4HE NUMBER ONE SOCIAL NETWORKING BOOK NAMELY A CHUNKY TELEPHONE DIRECTORY )T WAS ORIGINALLY DEVELOPED FOR UNIVERSITY STUDENTS FACULTY AND STAFF BUT HAS SINCE EXPANDED TO INCLUDE EVERYONE IN THE +NOWN 5NIVERSE PLUS THE POPULATION OF -ILTON +EYNES

! COMMUNAL WHIPPING WAS WITNESSED ON 3ATURDAY TH &EBRUARY AT THE .OW S ,#2 7HEN THE "AYWATCH THEME TUNE WAS PLAYED 5%! RESPONDED WITH THE USUAL SEMI NAKED SHIRT SWINGING (OWEVER WHAT FOLLOWED WAS LITTLE SHORT OF A SEXUAL FRENZY 3EVERAL MEN STARTED WHIPPING EACH

OTHER OPENLY /NE FEMALE STUDENT WAS CAUGHT IN THE CROSSlRE 3HE SAID @/NE GUY RUBBED HIS SWEATY CHEST ON ME AND THE OTHER ONE CAUGHT ME WITH HIS 4 3HIRT BY ACCIDENT ) FELT DIRTY AND VIOLATED IN SO MANY WAYS ) LL NEVER GET OVER IT ) WENT HOME AND WASHED MYSELF EXTENSIVELY WITH $OVE

HAS BEEN RUN BY MEAT EATERS FOR THE BENElT OF MEAT EATERS 7ELL TODAY THAT S GOT TO CHANGE )T S NO LONGER ACCEPTABLE FOR CARNIVORES TO LORD IT OVER US 4HE VEGETARIANS HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE BUT THEIR CHAINS 4HEY HAVE A UNIVERSITY TO WIN 6EGANS OF ALL UNIVERSITIES UNITE v

4HOSE %THICS /FlCER RESULTS IN FULL 3CREAMING ,ORD 3UTCH n VOTES 4ARQUINII -INGEGRINDER n VOTES 2/. n VOTES 7ALTER 3OPWORTH n VOTES 3IR !RBUTHNOT ,EECHINGTON 3MYTH #ON n VOTES .EXT FORTNIGHT 4HOSE %SSEX /FlCER RESULTS IN FULL

THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT "IG "ROTHER 4HE SHOW WAS lRST DEVISED IN THE -IDDLE !GES WHEN PEASANTS WOULD TRAVEL FAR AND WIDE TO WITNESS WELL KNOWN SIX FOOT MONKS BEING LOCKED IN THE CLOISTERS OF A DISUSED ABBEY $ESPITE BEING A RATINGS HIT THE SHOW ENDED AFTER THE THIRTY SEVENTH SERIES ENDED WITH THE DISSOLUTION OF THE MONASTERIES 4HE DIARIST 3AMUEL 0EPYS COMMENTED THAT hINDEED THE HOUSEMATES HATH ONLY ONE THING IN COMMON THEY YEARN FOR THE PRIZE MONIES AND DOTH ACT FOOLISHLY v 3OME THINGS NEVER CHANGE /N VIEWING AN EPISODE IN 1UEEN 6ICTORIA WAS REGARDED TO BE hAMUSEDv AT THE ANTICS OF 3IR 4UFTON "UFTON AS HE PRETENDED TO BE A CONSTIPATED ELEPHANT IN ORDER TO WIN THAT WEEK S LUXURY HAMPER "EFORETHEINVENTIONOFTELEPHONES METHODS TO VOTE OFF HOUSEMATES INCLUDED SHOUTING LOUDLY AT THE TOP OF A HILL THE USE OF CARRIER DONKEYS AND PETITIONING THE ,ORD #HANCELLOR FOR DIVINE INTERVENTION FROM 'OD #ELEBRITIES WHO HAVE TURNED DOWN THE OFFER TO TAKE PART INCLUDE $AME 4HORA (IRD 0OPE *OHN 0AUL )) 4ED (EATH AND THE 1UEEN -OTHER -AINLY BECAUSE THEY WERE DEAD /NE NOTICEABLE INCIDENT OCCURRED

IN WHEN !LICE #OOPER ATE 2ONNIE #ORBETT $ESPITE PARAMEDICS BEING CALLED TO THE (OUSE #ORBETT WAS SWIFTLY REGURGITATED AND MANAGED TO ESCAPE RELATIVELY UNHARMED 4HE SHOW CAUSED WIDESPREAD CONFUSION AND PANIC IN !MERICA WHEN IT WAS REVEALED THAT THE HOUSEMATES ENTERED VOLUNTARILY )T WAS PREVIOUSLY THOUGHT THAT THE "IG "ROTHER (OUSE WAS A TOP SECURITY DETENTION AREA FOR KNOWN OFFENDERS OF GOOD TASTE AND PUBLIC DECENCY SAW THE lRST #ELEBRITY "IG "ROTHER WEDDING BETWEEN 'EORGE 'ALLOWAY AND &ELIX THE #AT )NCIDENTALLY 'EORGE 'ALLOWAY IS NOW STARRING IN THE 7EST %ND MUSICAL #ATS 4HERE WAS MORE CONTROVERSY LAST YEAR WHEN *ODIE -ARSH ACCUSED 0ETE "URNS OF BEING hTOTALLY FALSEv AND NOT hGENUINEv )T LATER TRANSPIRED THAT SHE WAS ACTUALLY TALKING TO A PLASTIC MANNEQUIN $ESPITE BEING UNIVERSALLY RIDICULED FOR STUPIDITY *ADE 'OODY HAS ACTUALLY GOT A DEGREE IN LAW FROM "RISTOL 5NIVERSITY AND IS A REGULAR CONTESTANT ON 2ADIO SHOWS SUCH AS g4HE .EWS 1UIZg AND g*UST A -INUTEg

7EDNESDAY TH &EBRUARY #/.#2%4%

#/.#2%4%

7EDNESDAY TH &EBRUARY

#HEATING THE SYSTEM 4HE INTERNET HAS TURNED THE SALE OF ACADEMIC ESSAYS INTO A LUCRATIVE TRADE "UT WITH UNI VERSITIES DETERMINED TO STAY ONE STEP AHEAD OF PLAGIARISTS 2OBERT *ACKMAN INVESTIGATES WHETHER A PASS WORTHY ESSAY IS REALLY JUST A MOUSECLICK AWAY

$ h

ON T WORRY n THIS IS NOT A SCAMv THE $EGREE %SSAYS 5+ REP ASSURES ME OVER THE PHONE h7E GUARANTEE THAT YOUR ESSAY WILL BE OF A STANDARD AND THAT IT WILL NOT BE PLAGIARISEDv (E CAR RIES ON h7E RE NOT JUST A STUDENT FRIENDLY COMPANY WE RE A FRIEND OF STUDENTSv (E PAUSES SOUNDING CONTENT WITH HIS WORD PLAY "UT ) M NOT SURE ) D COUNT THEM AMONG MY FRIENDS 4HERE S SOMETHING LESS THAN AMICABLE ABOUT THEIR PERCEPTION OF STUDENTS 4HEY SEE US AS PITIFULLY LAZY 4HIS MAY SEEM OBVIOUS !FTER ALL TO VENTURE INTO THE TRADE OF SELLING ESSAYS TO STUDENTS YOU D HAVE TO BE CONlDENT THAT THE AVERAGE STUDENT WOULD RATHER RUPTURE THEIR lNANCES THAN SPEND A FEW DAYS IN THE LI BRARY "UT $EGREE %SSAYS 5+ WWW UKESSAYS COM THINK WE RE EVEN LAZIER THAN THAT 4HEY THINK WE RE SO LAZY IN FACT THAT WE CAN T EVEN BE BOTHERED TO READ THEIR WEBSITE !ND THAT S WHY THEY VE HIRED THE SYNTHETIC SMILE AND SOOTH ING VOICE OF ACTRESS +ATE 0ORTER TO PROVIDE A VIDEO TOUR AROUND THEIR WEBSITE ,OG ON TO THE PAGE AND +ATE GREETS YOU ASKING IF YOU RE hPERPLEXEDv BY ESSAYS AND ASSIGN MENTS AND OFFERS HER ADVICE &ROM THE PLAGIARISM GUARANTEE PAGE TO THE INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO ORDER AN ESSAY +ATE S TIRELESS TONES ARE NEVER MORE THAN A MOUSECLICK AWAY .OT ONLY HAS THE SALE OF ES SAYS BECOME A LUCRATIVE BUSINESS IT S EASIER THAN THE AVERAGE TELEVI SION SHOPPING CHANNEL 4HIS IS WHAT SETS $EGREE %S SAYS ASIDE FROM THEIR COMPETITORS n THE SEEMINGLY PERSONAL TOUCH 5NLIKE THEIR ESSAY MILL ANCESTORS WEBSITES WHERE STUDENTS UPLOAD THEIR ESSAY IN EXCHANGE FOR CRED ITS TO DOWNLOAD OTHER ESSAYS THEY SPECIALISE IN PERSONAL ESSAYS CUSTOM REQUIREMENTS AND STRICT QUALITY CONTROL %ACH ESSAY ORDERED IS INDIVIDUALLY TACKLED BY ONE OF THEIR SPECIALIST WRITERS AND IS GUARANTEED TO BE OF THE STANDARD DEMANDED #USTOMERS SPECIFY THE TITLE OF THE ESSAY AND ANY ESSENTIAL RESEARCH TEXTS AND REFERENCES %S SAYS ARE TOTALLY PERSONALISED YOURS IN EVERYTHING BUT AUTHORSHIP %VEN THE PRICING IS HIGHLY PERSONALISED !T THE USER FRIENDLY ORDER PAGE CUSTOMERS SPECIFY THEIR ESSAY TITLE AND ANY WRITING REQUIRE MENTS AS WELL AS TWEAKING THE LEVELS WHICH CONTROL THE LENGTH OF THE ESSAY THE DATE OF DELIVERY AND THE STANDARD REQUIRED /NE CAN ASK FOR FEWER WORDS OR A HIGHER GRADE STANDARD AND WATCH THE

#USTOMERS SPECIFY THE TI TLE OF THE ESSAY AND ANY ESSEN TIAL RESEARCH TEXTS AND REF ERENCES %S SAYS ARE TOTALLY PERSONALISED YOURS IN EVERY THING BUT AU THORSHIP

PRICE CHANGE ACCORDINGLY ) CHOOSE A SUITABLY IRONIC ESSAY FROM A LAW PAST EXAM PAPER @)DEAS THOUGHTS AND FANCIES IN A MAN S BRAIN ARE NOT PROTECTED BY COPYRIGHT PER ,ORD $ENNING -2 n DISCUSS ) THEN REQUEST WORDS WRITTEN TO AN UPPER SECOND STANDARD TO BE E MAILED TO ME IN lVE DAYS TIME 4HE WEBSITE QUOTES ME A PRICE OF a AND PROMISES TO PHONE ME ONCE THEY VE FOUND A WRITER !ND THEY DO 7ITHIN TWO HOURS 7HICH TAKES US BACK TO THE hTHIS IS NOT A SCAMv PHONECALL n A SCRAMBLED lVE MINUTE AFFAIR IN WHICH THE REP DESPERATELY TRIED TO COAX ME INTO PURCHASING THE ESSAY WHILE ) CLAMBERED ANX IOUSLY FOR ASSURANCES THAT THE ,AW 3CHOOL WOULDN T DETECT PLAGIA RISM !T lRST HE SEEMED AGHAST AT THE IDEA ) WAS GOING TO HAND THE ESSAY IN HE REPEATED THE @GOLDEN RULE @WORK IS STRICTLY FOR RESEARCH PURPOSES ONLY WITH A RELIGIOUS DILIGENCE "UT THEN HE BEGAN TO MAKE BOASTS WHICH DIDN T SIT COMFORT ABLY WITH HIS GOLDEN RULE ORTHO DOXY (E ASSURED ME THAT EVERY ESSAY IS CUSTOM MADE AND ONLY EVER SOLD ONCE n IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE THAT ANYONE ELSE WOULD SEE THIS ESSAY (E CONlDED IN ME THAT UNI VERSITIES ARE PITEOUSLY EQUIPPED IN THE lGHT AGAINST PLAGIARISM 4HEIR ONLY WEAPONS ARE PROGRAMMES LIKE 4URN)T)N n A PIECE OF SOFTWARE WHICH SCANS STUDENT ESSAYS AGAINST

THOUSANDS OF ONLINE SOURCES SCOURING FOR PATTERNS AND SIMI LARITIES &INALLY HE TOOK A MORE CANDID TONE h4HIS ESSAY WILL BE PERSONAL n PLAGIARISM SOFT WARE WILL BE POWERLESSv )T IS PERHAPS A TESTIMONY TO $EGREE %SSAYS THAT OF STU DENTS WHEN SURVEYED BY .ORTH UMBRIA ,EARNING SAID THEY WERE CONlDENT THAT THEY COULD HAND IN AN ESSAY FROM THE INTERNET WITH OUT THEIR UNIVERSITIES DETECTING PLAGIARISM !ND ) DARE SAY THEY RE RIGHT !CADEMIC !NSWERS ,TD THE COMPANY WHICH OWNS $EGREE %S SAYS AND ITS SISTER SITES /XBRIDGE %SSAYS WWW OXBRIDGEGRADUATES COM AND ,AW %SSAYS 5+ WWW LAW ESSAYS UK COM CURRENTLY HAVE OVER FREELANCE RE SEARCHERS WRITING FOR THEM 4HAT S GRADUATES WHO ACHIEVED AT LEAST AN UPPER SECOND DEGREE IN THEIR SUBJECT n ALL WRITING ESSAYS TO ORDER "UT WHAT IF SUSPICIONS DID ARISE ! STUDENT POSING AS A LECTURER FROM 5%! CONTACTED $EGREE %SSAYS TO TELL THEM THAT THEY HAD CONCERNS THAT A STUDENT HAD HANDED IN AN ASSIGNMENT BOUGHT FROM THEIR WEBSITE 4HEY WERE QUICK TO DENY ANY LIABILITY 4HEY TOLD US OF THEIR EMPHASIS ON THE @GOLDEN RULE AND THAT THEY DID NOT SUPPLY ESSAYS TO STUDENTS WHO THEY THOUGHT WOULD HAND THEM IN AS THEIR OWN 4HEY DISAGREED WITH US THAT NO STUDENT WOULD PAY UP TO a FOR @RESEARCH PURPOSES

ONLY "UT THEY DID PROMISE THAT IF WE E MAILED THEM THE ALLEGED PLAGIARISED ESSAY THEY D BE ABLE TO CONlRM OR DENY WHETHER IT WAS THE WORK OF ONE OF THEIR WRITERS 4HEY EXPLAINED THAT ALTHOUGH THEY SELL ESSAYS THEY STILL RETAIN THE COPYRIGHTS AND THEREFORE THE LEGAL RIGHTS OVER THE WORK 4HEY COULD OF COURSE SELL THE COPYRIGHTS TOO BUT THAT WOULD BE ENCOURAG ING CHEATING n SOMETHING WHICH !CADEMIC !NSWERS ,TD CLAIMS TO BE VEHEMENTLY OPPOSED TO 7ITH OWNERSHIP OF THE WORK THE WEB SITES CAN CONlRM WHETHER WORK WAS WRITTEN BY ONE OF THEIR WRIT ERS AND THEY CAN ALSO SUPPLY THE UNIVERSITY WITH A DUPLICATE COPY TO PROVE IT )T SEEMS THE @FRIEND OF STUDENTS ISN T SO LOYAL AFTER ALL /F COURSE WITH PERSONAL ES SAYS IT WOULD BE UNLIKELY THAT SUCH SUSPICIONS WOULD ARISE "UT ) STILL CHOSE NOT TO ORDER MY ESSAY n A WORD EFFORT WRESTLING WITH THE JUDGEMENT OF ,ORD $EN NING IN ,ADBROKE &OOTBALL ,TD VS 7ILLIAM (ALL &OOTBALL ,TD a STILL SEEMED QUITE A LOT TO PAY FOR AN ESSAY AND ) FEARED THAT A FORMER STUDENT MAY NOT BE UP TO DATE WITH RECENT DEVELOPMENTS IN THE LAW !ND ANYWAY AS FOR THE BULK OF THE ESSAY THE QUESTION WHETHER @IDEAS THOUGHTS AND FAN CIES WERE PROTECTED BY COPYRIGHT IT SEEMS THAT $EGREE %SSAYS 5+ HAD ANSWERED THAT APTLY ANYWAY AND WITHOUT ME PAYING A PENNY

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7EDNESDAY TH &EBRUARY

# &%!452%

7EDNESDAY TH &EBRUARY

AND STILL NO LETTER FROM THE 1UEEN 4O HONOUR THE ELDERLY FRAIL CREATURE THAT IS #ONCRETE !NNA 3TEWARD IS GOING TO SHARE WITH YOU A BRIEF HISTORY OF ITS LIFE SO FAR ITS COMPETITORS ITS DEATH AND RES SURECTION AND ALL THE TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS IT HAS EXPERIENCED ALONG THE WAY

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T S A WARM AFTERNOON IN 3TEPHEN (OWARD HAS DECIDED IT IS TIME THAT 5%! HAD A DECENT INDEPENDENT NEWSPAPER AND BY ND *ANUARY THE lRST ISSUE OF #ONCRETE .EWSPAPER IS STICKING OUT OF STUDENT S BAGS ON BUSES AND SPREAD ACROSS TABLES IN THE BAR lFTEEN YEARS LATER AND THE SAME NEWSPAPER IS IN OUR HANDS DOUBLE THE NUMBER OF PAGES DIFFERENT HEADLINES BUT IT CARRIES THE SAME TITLE .OW ) HOPE YOU ARE ALL SITTING COMFORTABLY TUCKED IN A CORNER OF THE BAR SIPPING A -OCHA IN THE (IVE OR SECRETLY READING #ONCRETE IN ,4 ) AM GOING TO ASK YOU TO CAST YOUR MEMORY OR IMAGINATION BACK TO THE HAZY S WHEN APATHY WASN T A WORD USED SO REGULARLY WHEN 5%! HAD A REPUTATION FOR BEING A RADICAL UNIVERSITY 4HE 5NION SIDED WITH THE )2! WHILE OCCUPATIONS AND STRIKES WERE AN ALMOST DAILY OCCURRENCE ,OOKING THROUGH THE #ONCRETE ARCHIVES THE NEWS STORIES ARE ENOUGH TO MAKE OUR NEWS TEAM GREEN WITH ENVY 4HE #ONCRETE YOU HOLD IN YOUR HANDS NOW WAS BY NO MEANS THE lRST NEWSPAPER AT 5%! 4HIS TITLE IS HELD BY -ANDATE )T WAS SET UP WHEN THE 2IGHTEOUS "ROTHERS h9OU VE ,OST 4HAT ,OVIN &EELING HAD JUST KNOCKED g4HE "EATLESg @) FEEL &INE OFF THE TOP OF THE CHART IN -ANDATE WAS MORE CONCERNED WITH THE ACTIVITIES OF THE 5NION THAN WITH ISSUES THAT WERE OF DIRECT INTEREST TO STUDENTS 3OME OF THE HEADLINES IN THIS PUBLICATION ARE VERY ENLIGHTENING ONE READS @&ORNICATION &ORBIDDEN THE STORY DETAILS A PROCLAMATION BY 5%! AUTHORITIES STATING THAT !NY STUDENT FOUND IN BED WITH A MEMBER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX WILL BE SENT DOWN IMMEDIATELY "Y THE S 0AUL -C#ARTNEY HAD ANNOUNCED THAT 4HE "EATLES WERE BREAKING UP 7AVENEY 4ERRACE WAS BUILT AND -ANDATE WAS NO MORE 4WICE WAS THE MUST READ OF THE DAY A PUBLICATION WHICH RAN FOR THREE YEARS BEFORE BEING REPLACED BY THE IMAGINATIVELY TITLED /NCE WHICH IRONICALLY RAN FOR ONE YEAR SAW THE LAUNCH OF #ONCRETE A PUBLICATION COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FROM THE ONE WE HAVE TODAY #ONCRETE THE lRST WAS DRAWN AND PUT TOGETHER ON PHOTOCOPIED PAPER !T THIS TIME OCCUPATIONS WERE A POPULAR ACTIVITY EVEN THE CAMPUS BURGER BAR FELT THE FORCE OF STARVING STUDENTS WHO OCCUPIED THE BUILDING FOR lVE DAYS WHEN THEY PUT THEIR PRICES UP )N #ONCRETE DISAPPEARED AND THE MANTLE WAS SWIFTLY TAKEN UP BY 0HOENIX WHICH LASTED YEARS BEFORE FOLDING IN

NEWSPAPER OVER THE YEARS SHOULD FEEL PROUD THAT THEY HAVE CONTRIBUTED AND ABSORBED THEMSELVES INTO THIS LEGACY )N ANOTHER YEARS IT WILL BE A DIFFERENT TEAM WHILING AWAY AN AFTERNOON WITH YELLOW STAINED NEWSPAPERS SPREAD OVER THE OFlCE mOOR 4HERE ARE SO MANY DIFFERENT PARTS THAT MAKE THE PAPER WHAT IT IS lRSTLY STUDENTS FORM THE CONTENT WHETHER THEY NOTIFY US OF A STORY OR FEATURE IN THE STORY THEMSLEVES SECONDLY STUDENTS WORK FOR THE NEWSPAPER AS PROOFREADERS WRITERS PHOTOGRAPHERS CARTOONISTS EDITORS AND MUCH MORE 7ITHOUT EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU THE NEWSPAPER WOULDN T BUT WHAT IT IS ) JUST HOPE THAT EACH OF YOU GET AS MUCH FROM THE PAPER AS YOU PUT INTO IT ) ALSO HOPE THAT THOSE WHO HAVEN T ALREADY DONE SOMETHING AND STILL WISH TO DON T FEAR IT IS TOO LATE )F YOU WOULD LIKE TO CONTRIBUTE IN ANY WAY POP UP TO THE #ONCRETE OFlCE UPSTAIRS IN 5NION (OUSE

4HE 5NION SIDED WITH THE )2! WHILE OCCUPATIONS AND STRIKES WERE AN ALMOST DAILY OCCURRENCE

/THER NEWSPAPERS THAT WERE AROUND IN THE S INCLUDE "REEZEBLOCK WHICH WAS PUBLISHED SPORADICALLY IN AND AND "ROADLY 3PEAKING WHICH ALSO CAME OUT IN !FTER 0HOENIX 5%! STUDENTS GOT THEIR NEWS FROM )NSIGHT LATER )NSITE WHICH SHUT DOWN IN THE EARLY S 7HICH BRINGS US BACK TO AND THE REBIRTH OF #ONCRETE THE SECOND /UR LIVING JOURNALISTIC MONARCH 7HEN #ONCRETE RETURNED IN IT WAS PAID FOR BY THE THREE STUDENTS WHO SET IT UP #HRIS "IGSBY PROVIDED THEM WITH A FREE ROOM IN %!3 NOW ,)4 4HOUGH #ONCRETE QUICKLY BECAME lNANCIALLY SELF SUFlCIENT MAINTAINING A COMPLETELY INDEPENDENT OPERATION WAS NEVER EASY "Y MID THOSE INVOLVED WERE BEGINNING TO SHOW THE STRAIN BOTH ACADEMICALLY AND IN THE PHYSICAL AND MENTAL SYMPTOMS THAT CAME WITH WORKING UP TO HOURS AT A STRETCH %VEN NOW IT IS NOT UNCOMMON FOR SECTION EDITORS TO WORK HOUR DAYS ON PRODUCTION WEEKENDS 4HE SOLUTION TO THE STRAIN THAT WAS PUT ON STUDENTS BACK IN THE S CAME FROM THE 3TUDENTgS 5NION WHICH HAD GRADUALLY BECOME MORE SUPPORTIVE AND HAD GIVEN #ONCRETE AN OFlCE IN 5NION (OUSE IN RETURN FOR A PAGE IN EACH ISSUE DEVOTED TO 5NION

NEWS 4HE 5NION AGREED TO BUY THE PAPER AND CONTINUE RUNNING IT AS AN EDITORIALLY INDEPENDENT CONCERN 4HE RELATIONSHIP WASN T HARMONIOUS BUT IT WORKED FOR lVE YEARS UNTIL THE PAPER RAN AN INTERVIEW WITH LOCAL MEMBERS OF THE ".0 IN WHICH ONE OF THEIR NEWSLETTERS WAS USED AS AN ILLUSTRATION AND THE TEXT WAS STILL VISIBLE &AUX PAS !FTER THIS CONCRETE WAS REQUIRED TO BECOME A SOCIETY 4WELVE YEARS ON AND WE ARE NOW THE LARGEST SOCIETY AT 5%! 3O NOW WE HAVE A STRANGE POSITION WE ARE A SOCIETY A BUSINESS AND A TRAINING CENTRE %VERYONE WHO WORKS FOR THE NEWSPAPER DOES SO FOR FREE APART FROM THE ADVERTISING TEAM AND THE EDITOR 4HE PRINTING OF #ONCRETE NEWSPAPER IS FUNDED COMPLETELY BY THE MONEY STUDENTS MAKE FROM ADVERTS THEY IN TURN GET COMMISSION FROM THIS AND ADDITIONAL MONEY GOES BACK INTO THE SOCIETY FUNDS TO PAY FOR EQUIPMENT AND PROJECTS SUCH AS 4HREAD MAGAZINE 4HE EDITOR IS PAID BY THE MONEY THAT 5%! STUDENTS PUT INTO THE 5NION SO THANK YOU )N RETURN THE 5NION GET a OF FREE ADVERTISING SPACE AND HOPEFULLY THE STUDENTS OF 5%! HAVE AN INDEPENDENT RELIABLE SOURCE OF INFORMATION THAT CAN CLUE THEM IN ON ISSUES THAT SHOULD BE BROUGHT TO THEIR ATTENTION CAMPAIGN ON THEIR

BEHALF PUBLICISE AND PROMOTE EVENTS AS WELL AS CELEBRATE STUDENTS ACHIEVEMENTS ,OOKING THROUGH THE ARCHIVES SOME THINGS HAVEN T CHANGED MUCH YEAR IN YEAR OUT THE SAME STORIES RUN AND THE SAME SOMETIMES TERRIBLE PUNS POP UP OVER AND OVER AGAIN 4HE NEWSPAPERS READ LIKE A HISTORY OF 5%! WITH PERSONAL TRIUMPHS TRAGEDIES AND SCANDALS %VERYONE WHO HAS WORKED FOR THE

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7HERE THE DEVIL ARE THEY NOW AND WHAT HAVE THEY BEEN UPTO 0OLLY 'RAHAM lRST EDITOR IN NOW .EWS OF THE 7ORLD ASSISTANT EDITOR SHOWBUSINESS *ANE +IRBY EDITOR NOW 0RESS !SSOCIATION HEALTH CORRESPONDENT *AMES 4APSlELD EDITOR NOW 0RESS !SSOCIATION PARLIAMENTARY STAFF 0AUL 3TOKES MUSIC EDITOR NOW .-% NEWS EDITOR +ATIE (IND EDITOR NOW ,ONDON ,ITE AND $AILY -AIL ENTERTAINMENT REPORTER #AROLINE *ENKINSON NOW #AROLINE -C'REGOR ) WAS 3TAGE AND 3CREEN %DITOR GLAMOROUS EH FROM AND CONTRIBUTING EDITOR ) WAS ONLY A STUDENT AT 5%! FROM ,ITERATURE AND 0HILOSOPHY IN 3/# BUT WAS ON A YEAR OUT TO EARN SOME CASH FOR JOURNALISM COLLEGE SO DID THE ODD BITS AND PIECES FOR #ONCRETE DURING THAT TIME (AVING DONE MY .#4* TRAINING AND QUALIlED AS A JOURNALIST ) ENDED UP WORKING FOR WHAT IS NOW !RCHANT .ORFOLK PUBLISHERS OF THE %VENING .EWS AND %ASTERN $AILY 0RESS ) SPENT NINE YEARS WITH THE %VENING .EWS AND LAST $ECEMBER FULlLLED MY DREAM OF BECOMING A SUB EDITOR ) NOW SPEND MY DAYS CREATING PAGES FOR ALL THE TITLES OWNED BY !RCHANT IN THE COUNTY )RONICALLY ) DID VERY LITTLE NEWS REPORTING FOR #ONCRETE DURING MY TIME THERE AND SPENT MOST OF MY TIME DOING ENTERTAINMENTS STUFF YET ) WAS ONE OF THE FEW FROM MY #ONCRETE DAYS WHO WENT INTO NEWSPAPER JOURNALISM !ND IF YOU WANT MY THOUGHTS ON MY TIME AT #ONCRETE ) CAN SAFELY SAY IT WAS ONE OF THE HAPPIEST TIMES OF MY LIFE AND WAS SUCH A BRILLIANT GROUNDING FOR THE CAREER ) M IN NOW (AVEN T TOUCHED 7OODPECKER CIDER SINCE MIND YOU 3TEVE #OLLINS %VENT EDITOR FREELANCE ILLUSTRATOR CLIENTS INCLUDE 4HE 4IMES '1 'UARDIAN !TTITUDE "IG )SSUE 2EBECCA "ARRETT SCREEN EDITOR NOW FREELANCE PUBLIC RELATIONS ,ONDON #LARE (AMILTON %DDY ADVERTISING MANAGER NOW PUBLIC RELATIONS 6ANCOUVER #AROLYN "OYD ASSISTANT FEATURES EDITOR NOW EDITOR OF &RANCE MAGAZINE SO THE &RENCH DEGREE WAS USEFUL AFTER ALL

.ICOLA -ALLETT NEWS EDITOR NOW 3PECIALITY &OOD MAGAZINE NOW EDITOR *AMES 'OFlN ) EDITED #ONCRETE IN THEN TAUGHT AT 5%! FOR A SEMESTER PRACTICAL JOURNALISM HILARIOUS BEFORE ) STARTED WORKING FOR THE %ASTERN $AILY 0RESS RISING TO THE HEADY RANKS OF DEPUTY CHIEF REPORTER FOR $EREHAM *UMPED SHIP IN .OVEMBER TO BE WEB EDITOR FOR !RCHANT 3UFFOLK RUNNING SITES FOR TWO DAILY TITLES THE %AST !NGLIAN $AILY 4IMES AND )PSWICH %VENING 3TAR EIGHT WEEKLIES AND OTHER ODDS AND SODS -ARK %DWARDS DEPUTY EDITOR NOW #HELSEA #OLLEGE OF !RT AND $ESIGN MARKETING OFlCER ,UKE 4URNER MUSIC EDITOR NOW 0LAYLOUDER COM REVIEWS EDITOR %MMA ,EE %VENT CONTRIBUTOR NOW %ASTERN $AILY 0RESS FEATURES WRITER *OE $UNTHORNE $ISTRIBUTION -ANAGER !UTHOR OF 3UBMARINE 0ENGUIN 0UBLISHERS ,UKE 7RIGHT %VENT %DITOR 0ERFORMANCE POET AND PUBLISHED WRITER 3ARAH %DWARDES #ONCRETE %DITOR .OW COPY EDITOR FOR %THICAL "OOK PUBLISHERS +ATE "RYANT %VENT %DITOR -ANAGING %DITOR OF THE 5NION (ANDBOOK AND *OANNA ,AMBERT !DVERTISING -ANAGER )TgS ONLY &EBRUARY OF MY LAST SEMSTER AND )gVE ALREADY HAD SEVERAL JOB OFFERS #ONCRETE HAS GIVEN ME INVALUABLE WORK EXPERIENCE THAT ) DONgT THINK ) COULD HAVE GOT ANYWHERE ELSE *ANE gUH OH ) DIDNgT MEAN TO DO THATg $OUGLAS .EWS %DITOR #ONTRIBUTING EDITOR 5NION (ANDBOOK !NNA 3TEWARD #ONCRETE %DITOR 4HIS MIGHT SOUND SILLY BUT WORKING FOR #ONCRETE OVER THE YEARS HAS GOT ME THIS JOB )T ALSO PROVIDED ME WITH THE SKILLS TO DO THE 5NION (ANDBOOK AND OFF THE BACK OF THESE TWO JOBS ) GOT HEADHUNTED TO BE A WEB EDITOR AND DESIGNER 4HE SKILLS ) LEARNT FROM WORKING FOR THE 3OCIETY ALSO HELPED ME WITH MY ACADEMIC WORK IN TERMS OF THE MODULES ) TOOK IN 0UBLISHING 0RACTICAL *OURNALISM AND 0HOTOGRAPHY

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7EDNESDAY TH &EBRUARY

3EX 3URVEY

3EX IN THE ,#2 TOILETS $OGGING IN .ORWICH 2OLEPLAYING AS TIGERS )F YOU lLLED IN THE ANNUAL #ONCRETE 3EX 3URVEY SOME OF THESE SHOCKING REVELATIONS MAY COME AS LITTLE SUPRISE TO YOU *OIN &IONA "ILLINGS AS SHE TAKES US THROUGH THESE ANSWERS AND MANY MORE YOU lLTHY THINGS "EST 3EXUAL %XPERIENCES

7ORST 3EXUAL %XPERIENCES

3EX IN THE BATH /N A QUAD BIKE 7ITH MY EX IN A TREE HOUSE GIRLS AND ME PLUS WHIPPED CREAM $OING IT DOGGY ON THE mOOR )N A LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP ! LENGTHY SESSION OF KINKINESS IN A LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP WITH THE RIGHT MOODS CANDLE WAX AND A FORK 3PONTANEOUS SEX ON THE STAIRS 4HE lRST TIME WITH MY BOY FRIEND BEAUTIFUL AND LOVING -ULTIPLE ORGASM WITH A GUY WITH A INCH WILLY 3EX IN THE SHOWER &EMALE EJACULATION YOU ACTUALLY CAN T MOVE FOR AN HOUR /N .ORFOLK WALK /RAL SEX WITH A DOG 3PENDING HOURS DOING NOTHING ELSE AND THEN COLLAPSING FROM EXHAUSTION 7ITH MY EX lANCÏE ON HOLIDAY IN )TALY $AY OF SEX AFTER BEING AWAY FROM GIRLFRIEND FOR WEEKS -Y GIRLFRIEND IN A CORSET AND A THONG TIED DOWN 'IRLFRIEND DRESSING UP AND US ING $UREX PLAY LUBE 3CHOOLGIRL 3IMULTANEOUS ORGASM WITH GIRL (ER HOUSE MUM NEXT DOOR SO COULDN T MAKE ANY NOISE INTENSE 7ITH A FORMER GIRLFRIEND WHEN STONED

)N .ORWAY WITH AN UGLY !MERI CAN BIRD ON A FERRY TO $ENMARK 7ITH A RABBIT -Y MALE FRIEND THOUGHT AN INVITATION TO GO CAMPING WAS AN INVITE FOR GAY SEX "EING DRUNK AFTER PROM AND CUMMING DURING FOREPLAY )N THE WOODS AFTER A PARTY WITH MY GIRLFRIEND GIVING ME HEAD )T INVOLVED BEING DRUNK AFTER THE ,#2 OUTSIDE THE $EAN OF 3TU DENTS OFlCE 7HEN WANKING ) CUMMED IN MY FACE 7HEN ) WOKE UP NOT REMEM BERING ANYTHING ) WAS NAKED SO WAS SHEx )T WAS LIKE SLEEPING WITH A CORPSE WARMED UP )N HER BED AT HOME WHEN HER PARENTS CAME HOME x /NE NIGHT STAND 2OUGH ANAL 6ERY DRUNK 6%29 SMALL PENIS *ACQUES A NON %NGLISH SPEAK ING 3OUTH !FRICAN HUNG LIKE A DONKEY OUCH )T WAS SECONDS LONG .OT GOOD "EING GROPED IN A lELD ACCOM PANIED BY THE IMMORTAL WORDS h9A KNOW MY PHONE VIBRATESxv )NVITING ,OTS OF PEOPLE COMING INTO THE ROOM 'UY WITH ERECTION PROBLEMS $IDN T LOVE EACH OTHER

ITH A RECORD NUMBER OF RESPONSES IT IS LIT TLE WONDER THAT THIS YEAR S 3EX 3URVEY IS ONE OF THE MOST COMPREHENSIVE YET &OLLOWING A RE HAUL OF THE QUESTIONS FROM PREVIOUS YEARS THE RECENT SUR VEY INCLUDED A NUMBER OF NEW AND INTRIGUING QUESTIONS NOT LEAST ONES ABOUT DOGGING FANTASISING ABOUT LECTURERS AND THE PERFECT PENIS SIZE /NE IMPORTANT ADDITION HAS BEEN A QUESTION ASKING PEOPLE S REASONS FOR CHOOSING NOT TO HAVE SEX YET 4HE ONLY REASON ACTUALLY GIVEN WAS THAT THIS GIRL WAS WAITING UNTIL MARRIAGE A REASON EXPLORED IN THIS ISSUE S ,IFESTYLE FEATURE ON CELIBACY !NOTHER SERIOUS ISSUE HIGH LIGHTED IN THE SURVEY WAS THAT OF THE MORNING AFTER PILL 7HEN ASKED IF THEY THOUGHT IT IS RIGHT THAT IT IS AVAILABLE WITHOUT PRESCRIPTION OF WOMEN AGREED THAT IT WAS "ODY ISSUES ARE ALWAYS A PRESS ING TOPIC FOR BOTH WOMEN AND MEN 4HE SURVEYS SHOWED THAT WHILE OF GIRLS ARE EITHER HAPPY OR VERY HAPPY WITH THEIR BODIES ONLY OF GUYS ARE 4HIS IS A POINT THAT IS OF TEN OVERLOOKED THE FACT THAT MANY

MEN ARE JUST AS INSECURE ABOUT THEIR BODIES AS WOMEN SOMETIMES EVEN MORE SO

)NTERESTINGLY OUR SURVEY SHOWED THAT MEN ARE JUST AS INSECURE ABOUT THEIR BODIES AS WOMEN SOME TIMES EVEN MORE SO /N TO THE ANSWERS TO PERHAPS SOME OF THE LESS SERIOUS QUESTIONS RATING THE LOOKS SEXUAL PERFORM ANCE lDELITY AND INTELLIGENCE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX AT 5%! PROVED MOST INTERESTING READING 7HEN IT CAME TO THE MEN THE LADIES WERE A LITTLE HARSH WITH NO ONE GIVING THE GUYS A OR OUT OF 4HE REVERSE lGURE WAS SLIGHTLY MORE GENEROUS WITH

THE AVERAGE WOMAN SCORING FOR THE SAME CATEGORY &IDELITY INTELLIGENCE AND SEXUAL PERFORMANCE ALL AVERAGED OUT TO NOT A PARTICULARLY mATTERING SCORE FOR EVERYONE CONCERNED 0ERHAPS YOU WERE ALL FEELING A LITTLE BIT HARSH WHEN YOU lLLED IT IN 4HE DRAMATIC RISE IN THE POPU LARITY OF DOGGING MEANT THAT WE HAD TO INCLUDE A QUESTION ABOUT IT !MAZINGLY OF GIRLS HAVE PAR TICIPATED WHILE OF BOYS HAVE WATCHED )T SEEMS A 5%! DOGGING SOCIETY MAY NOT BE FAR OFF (OWEVER THE MOST VARIED ANSWERS CAME WHEN ANSWERING THE QUESTION ABOUT ROLE PLAYS 7HILE OF GIRLS AND OF GUYS ADMIT TO DABBLING IN A BIT OF SEXUAL DRESS ING UP FEW GO TO THE LENGTHS OF DESCRIBING IT IN DETAIL AS ONE KIND AND SLIGHTLY DISTURBING STUDENT DID 4HE MOST INTERESTING ONES INCLUDED VAMPIRES lRE lGHTERS &RENCH AGENTS AND SCHOOLGIRLS WITH PLENTY OF OTHER UNMENTIONABLE ONES TURNING UP TOO !N EXCELLENT RESPONSE HAS LED TO AN EXCELLENT SURVEY 4HANK YOU SO MUCH TO EVERYONE THAT lLLED ONE IN

&EMALE 2ESULTS 'ENERAL s !VERAGE AGE s 3EXUAL ORIENTATION HETEROSEXUAL HOMOSEXU AL BISEXUAL s 2ELATIONSHIP STATUS SINGLE BOY GIRLFRIEND

0RACTICE s %VER HAD SEX YES NO s (OW OFTEN DO YOU HAVE SEX DAILY FEW TIMES A WEEK WEEKLY MONTHLY A FEW TIMES A YEAR NEVER s (OW LONG DOES SEX NORMALLY LAST UNDER MINS MINS MINS HOUR MORE s 7HAT METHOD OF BIRTH CONTROL DO YOU FAVOUR CONDOM FEMIDOMS CONTRACEPTIVE PILL THE COIL s 7HAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SEXUAL POSITION MISSIONARY DOGGY STYLE YOU ON TOP SPOONS STANDING UP s 7HAT SEXUAL POSITION DO YOU USE MOST MISSIONARY DOGGY STYLE YOU ON TOP SPOONS s /RAL SEX DO YOU ENJOY GIVING RECEIVING s SPIT SWALLOW PUKE s (OW OFTEN DO YOU MASTURBATE A FEW TIMES A WEEK WEEKLY MONTHLY A FEW TIMES A YEAR NEVER

s 7HAT SEX AIDS DO YOU POSSESS 6IBRATOR S 0ORNOG RAPHY #REAMS LUBES (ANDCUFFS +INKY UNDERWEAR

(ISTORY s !VERAGE AGE OF LOSS OF VIRGINITY s 7AS THIS THE RIGHT AGE TO LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY YES NO s !VERAGE NUMBER OF SEXUAL PART NERS YOU VE HAD AT 5%! s !VERAGE NUMBER OF PARTNERS YOU VE HAD ALTOGETHER s (OW MANY ONE NIGHT STANDS NONE s 7AIT BEFORE HAVING SEX LESS THAN A WEEK A FORTNIGHT A MONTH MONTHS LONGER UNTIL MARRIAGE s 0ERCENTAGE WHO HAVE PARTICIPATED IN THREESOME GROUP SEX BONDAGE INTERNET SEX PHONE SEX ROLE PLAY s (AVE YOU EVER NOT USED BIRTH CONTROL YES NO s %VER HAD SEX WITH A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX YES NO s %VER BEEN TEMPTED BY A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX YES NO s %VER HAD ANAL SEX YES NO s $ID YOU ENJOY IT YES NO

!TTITUDES s $O YOU THINK THERE IS SUFlCIENT INFORMATION ABOUT SEXUAL HEALTH AVAILABLE ON CAMPUS AND LOCALLY

YES NO s 4HE PERFECT PENIS SIZE v v v DOESN T MATTER s &AKE HAVING AN ORGASM NEVER OCCASIONALLY FRE QUENTLY EVERY TIME s %VER HAD A MULTIPLE ORGASM YES NO s 9OUR LAST SEXUAL EXPERIENCE AT 5%! OUR OF AVERAGE s 2ATE YOUR OWN SEXUAL PERFORM ANCE OUT OF AVERAGE s 4HE MOST IMPORTANT QUALITIES FOR WOMEN IN ORDER ARE PERSONALITY LOOKS SENSE OF HUMOUR DRESS SENSE s 7HAT S THE SEXIEST PART OF THE MALE BODY EYES BUM PE NIS LEGS CHEST ARMS s $O YOU WATCH PORN YES NO SOMETIMES s (OW OFTEN WEEKLY MONTHLY RARELY

!ND lNALLY s %VER PAID BEEN PAID FOR SEX YES NO s %VER SLEEP WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND S PARTNER YES NO s %VER HAVE SEX TO FURTHER YOUR CAREER GET A BETTER GRADE YES NO s $OES SOCIETY GLAMOURISE SEX YES NO

7EDNESDAY TH &EBRUARY

#/.#2%4%

3EX 3URVEY -ALE 2ESULTS 'ENERAL s !VERAGE AGE s 3EXUAL ORIENTATION HETEROSEXUAL HOMOSEXUAL BISEXUAL s 2ELATIONSHIP STATUS SINGLE BOY GIRLFRIEND

0RACTICE s %VER HAD SEX YES NO s (OW OFTEN DO YOU HAVE SEX DAILY FEW TIMES A WEEK WEEKLY MONTHLY A FEW TIMES A YEAR NEVER s (OW LONG DOES SEX NORMALLY LAST UNDER MINS MINS MINS HOUR MORE s 7HAT METHOD OF BIRTH CONTROL DO YOU FAVOUR CONDOM FEMI DOMS CONTRACEPTIVE PILL THE COIL s 7HAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SEXUAL POSITION MISSIONARY DOGGY STYLE THEM ON TOP OTHERS s 7HAT SEXUAL POSITION DO YOU USE MOST MISSIONARY DOGGY STYLE THEM ON TOP SPOONS s /RAL SEX DO YOU ENJOY GIVING RECEIVING s SPIT SWALLOW PUKE s (OW OFTEN DO YOU MASTURBATE DAILY OR MORE A FEW TIMES A WEEK WEEKLY MONTHLY A FEW TIMES A YEAR NEVER

s 7HAT SEX AIDS DO YOU POSSESS 6IBRATOR S 0ORNOGRAPHY #REAMS LUBES (AND CUFFS +INKY UNDERWEAR

(ISTORY s !VERAGE AGE OF LOSS OF VIRGINITY s 7AS THIS THE RIGHT AGE TO LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY YES NO s !VERAGE NUMBER OF SEXUAL PARTNERS YOU VE HAD AT 5%! s !VERAGE NUMBER OF PARTNERS YOU VE HAD ALTOGETHER s (OW MANY ONE NIGHT STANDS NONE s 7AIT BEFORE HAVING SEX LESS THAN A WEEK A FORTNIGHT A MONTH MONTHS LONGER UNTIL MARRIAGE s 0ERCENTAGE WHO HAVE PARTICIPATED IN THREESOME GROUP SEX BONDAGE INTERNET SEX PHONE SEX ROLE PLAY s (AVE YOU EVER NOT USED BIRTH CONTROL YES NO s %VER HAD SEX WITH A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX YES NO s %VER BEEN TEMPTED BY A MEMBER OF THE SAME SEX YES NO s %VER HAD ANAL SEX YES NO s $ID YOU ENJOY IT YES NO

!TTITUDES s $O YOU THINK THERE IS SUFlCIENT INFORMATION ABOUT SEXUAL HEALTH AVAILABLE ON CAMPUS AND LOCALLY

YES NO s 7HAT IS YOUR ERECT PENIS SIZE v v v s (AVE YOU EVER PREMATURELY EJACU LATED YES NO s (AVE YOU EVER SUFFERED FROM IM POTENCE YES NO s (AVE YOU EVER HAD A MULTIPLE ORGASM YES NO s 9OUR LAST SEXUAL EXPERIENCE AT 5%! OUR OF AVERAGE s 2ATE YOUR OWN SEXUAL PERFORM ANCE OUT OF AVERAGE s 4HE MOST IMPORTANT QUALITIES FOR WOMEN IN ORDER ARE PERSONALITY LOOKS SENSE OF HUMOUR s 7HAT S THE SEXIEST PART OF THE FEMALE BODY EYES BUM BOOBS LEGS FACE s $O YOU WATCH PORN YES NO SOMETIMES s (OW OFTEN DAILY WEEKLY MONTHLY RARELY

!ND lNALLY s %VER PAID BEEN PAID FOR SEX YES NO s %VER SLEPT WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND S PARTNER YES NO s %VER HAVE SEX TO FURTHER YOUR CAREER GET A BETTER GRADE YES NO s $OES SOCIETY GLAMOURISE SEX YES NO

5%! S 3EXIEST ,ECTURERS $R -ALCOLM -C,AUGHLIN )T LOOKS LIKE !-3 KNOWS HOW TO PRODUCE GOOD LOOKING STAFF (IS SPECIALISM IS RACE IN .ORTH !MERICA SO GET CHOOSING THOSE MODULES TO BE UNDER HIS TUTELAGE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE

$R 3ARAH #HURCHWELL ! SENIOR LECTURER IN !MERICAN ,ITERATURE $R #HURCHWELL HAS SUCH A HUGE FOLLOWING THAT THERE IS EVEN A &ACEBOOK GROUP DEDICATED TO HER "UT WITH A "! FROM 6ASSAR #OL LEGE AND AN -! AND 0H$ FROM 0RINCETON SHE S DEl NITELY NOT JUST A PRETTY FACE

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#/.#2%4%

7EDNESDAY TH &EBRUARY

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WWW GREEN PASSIONS COM 7HAT WOULD BE YOUR IDEAL 6ALENTINE S GIFT ! BLOOMING BIG BUNCH OF ROSES 7HILST MANY WOMEN RELISH THE PROSPECT OF OPENING THE DOOR TO A DOZEN RED ONES OTHERS RECOIL IN HORROR AT THE IRONY OF BEING GIVEN ROSES OFTEN FORCE GROWN IN DUBIOUS LABOUR CONDI TIONS BEFORE BEING mOWN S OF MILES AS A TOKEN OF LOVE 4HEY D MUCH RATHER BE PRE SENTED WITH A HOMEMADE CAKE BAKED USING ORGANIC FAIR TRADE CHOCOLATE AND PACKAGED IN A RE USED BOX "UT WHERE TO lND SUCH A THOUGHTFUL GIFT GIVER (OPING TO SOLVE THAT DILEMMA IS 'REEN 0ASSIONS COM @AN ONLINE COMMUNITY FOR ENVIRONMENTAL SINGLES 4HIS VIRTUAL DATING AGENCY IS FREE TO USE AND HAS A COMPREHENSIVE SEARCH ENGINE AL LOWING YOU TO SEARCH FOR MEMBERS BY GENDER SEXUALITY AGE AND LOCALITY %NTERING A SEARCH FOR A 5+ BASED STRAIGHT MALE AGED DELIVERED RESULTS THOUGH NONE IN .ORFOLK A FEW WERE FROM %AST !NGLIA THOUGH 4HE SEARCH RESULTS RANGED FROM THE STANDARD @) M COOL AND SEXY TO THE HARDCORE @VEGAN MALE WITH ETHEREAL PROCLIVITY THROUGH TO THE PLAIN WEIRD @MY POO SMELLS THE BEST !T LEAST THERE S SOME INDIVIDUALITY HERE THERE WAS NO HINT OF @ATTRACTIVE GUY SEEKS .3 WITH '3/( -ANY MEMBERS ALSO HAD PHOTOS WHICH IS ALWAYS A BONUS 4HIS APPROACH TO ONLINE DATING MAKES SENSE BY AUTOMATICALLY MATCHING YOU UP WITH SOMEONE WHO SHARES AT LEAST ONE OF YOUR IN TERESTS -EMBERS RANGE FROM FULL ON TREE HUG GERS THEIR WORDS TO TENTATIVE TOE DIPPERS WHO ARE TRYING TO lND OUT MORE ABOUT LIVING A GREEN LIFESTYLE )F YOU WANT TO CHAT ABOUT A PARTICULAR ACTIVITY THERE A NUMBER OF SPECIlC INTEREST GROUPS YOU CAN JOIN INCLUDING ALTER NATIVE MEDICINE ANIMAL RIGHTS HUMANITARIAN AID COMPOSTING AND VOLUNTEER WORK 'REEN 0ASSIONS OFFERS FREE E MAIL MES SAGE BOARDS CHAT ROOMS AND INSTANT MES SAGING INCLUDING THE OPTION OF SENDING SOMEONE A VIRTUAL SMOOCH HANDY IF YOU RE LOST FOR A GOOD CHAT UP LINE 4HEY PROVIDE A GREEN NEWSLETTER AND ALSO ESSENTIAL TIPS FOR @ONLINE DATING SAFELY 5NFORTUNATELY THEIR RA DIO WASN T WORKING WHEN ) USED THE SITE &UR THER OPTIONS INCLUDE UPLOADING PODCASTS AND KEEPING A BLOG THOUGH THERE ARE JUST BLOGS AND NO PODCASTS ON THERE AT THE MOMENT 7HY NOT BE THE lRST TO PUT ONE UP 4HE SITE BLURB STATES THAT IT IS FOR @ANYONE LOOKING TO MEET OTHERS WHO SHARE SIMILAR PASSIONS AND THAT DATING IS NOT THE SOLE FO CUS 4HIS COMES ACROSS IN THE FRIENDLY VIBE OF THE GREEN PASSIONS SO ) RECKON IT S WORTH A LOOK WHETHER YOU WANT TO lND A SOLE MATE OR JUST A NEW MATE 2OSIE "RADLEY "UNN

7). &2%% )#% #2%!,IVING IN (ALLS 7ANT TO WIN PRIZES INCLUD ING "EN *ERRY S ICE CREAM 7ELL WHY NOT SIGN UP TO BECOME A 3TUDENT 3WITCH /FF 0OWER 2ANGER THEN "Y DOING SO YOU ARE COMMITTING TO BEING CAREFUL WITH YOUR PER SONAL ENERGY USAGE AND ENCOURAGING OTHERS TO DO SO TOO 'O TO WWW STUDENTSWITCHOFF CO UK POWERRANGERS TO SIGN UP 7E LL BE GIV ING OUT PRIZES TO 0OWER 2ANGERS SELECTED AT RANDOM OVER THE NEXT COUPLE OF WEEKS AND FOR THE REST OF THE ACADEMIC YEAR +EEP IT SUSTAINABLE 4HE 3TUDENT 3WITCH /FF 4EAM

.ORFOLK #OUNTY #OUNCIL S )NCINERATION PLANS UP IN SMOKE

ORFOLK RESIDENTS HAVE BEEN CELEBRATING THE #OUNTY #OUNCIL S RE JECTION OF PLANS TO BUILD AN INCINERATOR AT 4ROWSE OR #OSTESSEY )N RESPONSE TO THE COUNCIL S ATTEMPTS TO RE DUCE LANDlLL IN LINE WITH THE %5 LANDlLL DIRECTIVE COMPANIES HAVE SUBMITTED BIDS TO THE COUNCIL FOR A WASTE MANAGEMENT CONTRACT 5NTIL RECENTLY THE 7ASTE 2ECY CLING 'ROUP 72' WITH THEIR PROPOSAL FOR AN INCINERATOR HAVE BEEN THE COUN CIL S PREFERRED BIDDER ! CHANGE AROUND THOUGH HAS SEEN 3USTAINABLE 2ESOURCE -ANAGEMENT S 32- BID FOR A -ECHANI CAL "IOLOGICAL 4REATMENT PLANT BECOME THE FAVOURED OPTION WITH 72' FALLING INTO RE SERVE (OWEVER COUNCIL OFlCIALS HAVE NOT RULED OUT INCINERATORS IN .ORFOLK S FUTURE DESPITE THEIR PROJECT MANAGER *OEL (ULL ADMITTING THAT RESULTS OF RESEARCH INTO THE HEALTH EFFECTS OF INCINERATION HAVE BEEN INCONCLUSIVE !T A RECENT MEETING ORGANISED BY THE .ORWICH %VENING .EWS AND .ORFOLK !GAINST )NCINERATION AND ,ANDlLL .!), HEALTH EXPERT $R $ICK 6AN 3TEENIS CALLED INCINERATORS hA PUBLIC HEALTH DISASTERv WARNING THAT THEIR EMISSIONS COULD LEAD TO AN INCREASE IN CANCER HEART ATTACKS ASTHMA LOW THYROID PROBLEMS BIRTH DE FECTS AND MISCARRIAGES &URTHER RESEARCH INTO THE HEALTH EFFECTS OF INCINERATION HAS BEEN CARRIED OUT BY 4HE $EVELOPMENTAL 4OXICO 0ATHOLOGY 2ESEARCH 'ROUP 4HEIR (EAD OF 2ESEARCH $R 6YVYAN (OWARD HAS WARNED THAT INFANTS AND UNBORN CHILDREN ARE PARTICULARLY SUSCEPTIBLE WITH EFFECTS TO FOETUSES INCLUDING FUTURE REPRODUCTIVE PROBLEMS AN INCREASED CHANCE OF DE VELOPING CANCER KIDNEY PROBLEMS RESPI RATORY DIFlCULTIES ALLERGIES AND REDUCED LEVELS OF INTELLIGENCE (OWEVER 4HE $EPARTMENT FOR %NVI RONMENT &OOD AND 2URAL !FFAIRS $EFRA ARGUE THAT THE RISKS TO HUMAN HEALTH FROM INCINERATION ARE SMALL IN COMPARISON TO OTHER KNOWN HEALTH RISKS 4HEY ACKNOWL

)F INCINERATION IS THE ANSWER THEN SOMEBODY ASKED THE WRONG QUES TION

EDGE THOUGH THAT THERE IS MORE hWE CAN AND SHOULD STILL LEARNv AND ALSO THAT RE DUCING EMISSIONS WOULD REDUCE ECOSYS TEM DAMAGE !H YES THE POTENTIAL DAMAGE DOES NOT STOP AT HEALTH PROBLEMS MANY BELIEVE THAT INCINERATORS ARE ENVIRONMENTALLY DAMAGING TOO .OT ONLY DO THEY CAUSE POLLUTION AND CLIMATE CHANGE FROM THEIR AIR EMISSIONS THEY WASTE NATURAL RESOURC ES UNDERMINE RECYCLING AND COULD LEAD TO AN INCREASE IN TRAFlC $R #LLR 2UPERT 2EAD A 'REEN PARTY COUNCILLOR FOR 7ENSUM 7ARD AND LECTURER OF 0HILOSOPHY HERE AT 5%! WARNED THAT INCINERATION COULD REDUCE THE COUNCIL S INCENTIVE TO PROMOTE RECYCLING "ECAUSE INCINERATION lRMS MAKE MONEY FROM THE ELECTRICITY THEY PRODUCE THROUGH BURN ING WASTE AND THEIR CAPITAL COSTS ARE HIGH THEY LOCK COUNCILS INTO LONG TERM CONTRACTS FOR THE DELIVERY OF A MINIMUM AMOUNT OF WASTE 4HIS LEADS COUNCILS AWAY FROM PROMOTING RECYCLING AS SEEN IN THE DROP IN RECYCLING LEVELS IN .OTTINGHAM AND #LEVELAND FOLLOWING THE ARRIVAL OF IN

CINERATORS THERE -ANY MORE COUNCILS HAVE REJECTED PLANS FOR INCINERATORS ON THESE GROUNDS 0ROPONENTS OF INCINERATION ARGUE THAT IN CINERATORS ARE A METHOD OF @RESOURCE EN ERGY RECOVERY AS THEY USE WASTE TO CREATE ELECTRICITY (OWEVER RECYCLING PLASTIC FOR EXAMPLE SAVES lVE TIMES AS MUCH ENERGY AS BURNING IT CREATES ENERGY 4HE 'REEN PARTY ACCEPT 32. S PLAN FOR -"4 BUT STRESS THAT IT IS NOT IDEAL -"4 INVOLVES PULLING RECYCLABLE MATERIALS OUT OF THE WASTE BEFORE TREATING AND BREAKING DOWN THE REMAINDER 4HE 'REEN 0ARTY SUGGEST A MULTI PRONGED ALTERNATIVE 4HE lRST CRUCIAL STEP IS TO REDUCE FOR EXAMPLE PACKAGING AND TO RE USE AND REPAIR ITEMS 4HE SECOND IS TO RECYCLE 4HE NEXT IS TO SEE OUR WASTE DE LIVERED TO A 2ESOURCE 2ECOVERY 0ARK WHERE THERE IS THE POTENTIAL TO RECYCLE EVERYTHING &INALLY ORGANIC AND GREEN WASTE SHOULD BE COMPOSTED IN SMALL SCALE DECENTRALISED ANAEROBIC DIGESTION PLANTS 4HESE BREAK DOWN THE COMPOUNDS NATURALLY PRODUC ING A COMPOST LIKE MATERIAL AND CAPTURING THE METHANE PRODUCED TO CREATE ELECTRIC ITY .ORFOLK #OUNTY #OUNCIL WILL MAKE THEIR lNAL DECISION ON -ARCH TH 7ITH 32- S PROPOSAL BOTH COSTING hSIGNIlCANTLY LESSv AND RECYCLING AN EXTRA OF WASTE THAN 72' S IT WILL BE A SURPRISE IF THEY ARE NOT GRANTED THE CONTRACT 7HATEVER THE OUTCOME THE ONE POINT THAT MOST GROUPS SEEM TO AGREE ON FROM 4HE 'REEN 0ARTY TO $EFRA TO THE #OUNTY #OUNCIL AND OF COURSE US HERE AT 4URF IS THAT THE PRIORITY MUST BE WASTE MINIMISA TION REUSE AND RECYCLING !S &RIENDS OF 4HE %ARTH SO SUCCINCTLY PUT IT hIF INCINERATION IS THE ANSWER THEN SOMEBODY ASKED THE WRONG QUESTIONv 'OT SOMETHING TO SAY ON SOME OF THE ISSUES RAISED HERE -AKE YOUR VOICE HEARD BY WRITING TO YOUR LOCAL COUNCILLORS AND NEWSPAPERS 2OSIE "RADLEY "UNN

42!6%,

7EDNESDAY TH &EBRUARY

#/.#2%4%

) LL (AVE !N )CED 4EA

,ONG )SLAND HOME TO SWANKY YACHTS EXTRAVAGANT COCKTAILS AND ,INDSAY ,OHAN :AK +LINE SPENDS THE SUMMER SERVING ALCOHOL TO THE FANTASTICALLY RICH MEET ING SUPERMODELS AND GETTING ADVICE FROM SQUIFFY WRITERS

LONG THE NORTH COAST OF ,ONG )SLAND YOU MAY FIND THE SPECTACULAR RE GION OF /YSTER "AY )F THE NAME ALONE SUM MONS UP IMAGES OF GOURMET FOOD BOATING TRIPS AND EASY LIVING YOU D BE RIGHT /YSTER "AY IS EVERY BIT AS PLUSH SLICK AND SPANGLING AS IT SOUNDS 2IGHT AT THE CENTRE OF POSSIBLY THE RICHEST REGION IN THE WORLD THE AREA IS RIFE WITH COLOSSAL MANSIONS SHROUDED BY ACRES OF FOREST AND FENCES SPRAWLED ACROSS DIZZYING STRETCHES &IGURES SUCH AS 2UPERT -URDOCH "ILLY *OEL *AMES $OLAN #HARLES 7ANG *ENIFER ,OPEZ AND ,INDSAY ,OHAN LIVE LOCALLY )F YOU RE LUCKY CAB DRIVERS MIGHT POINT OUT THEIR FRONT GATES AND TELL YOU ABOUT

COULD BLAME THEIR RIGHTEOUS OWN ERS SITTING ABOUT THE PORCH OF OUR PARTICULAR CLUB ON ANY PARTICULAR DAY BASKING IN THE SUN ) GOT A GOOD VIEW ACROSS THE BAY 'EORGIAN PALACES WITH THEIR TERRACES BALCONIES AND POLISHED BANISTERS GLEAMING IN THE SUN ) COULD SPOT BRAND NEW FOUR POSTER BEDS LACED WITH GOLD LINEN BE ING WHEELED ACROSS THE LAWN THEIR OWNERS COULDN T FIND THEIR OWN BEDROOMS NEW BEDS WERE A SIMPLE OPTION "UT IF YOU WERE TO LIVE IN ONE OF THESE PLACES YOU D PROBABLY FIND THAT YOU ARE JUST A MORTAL FOR WHOM LUCK HAS PLAYED AN IMPORTANT ROLE 0ERHAPS YOU GOT WHERE YOU ARE THROUGH LINEAGE /R YOU MIGHT BE A BUSINESS TYCOON )N THIS CASE YOU

,ONG )SLAND IS RIFE WITH COLOSSAL MANSIONS SHROUDED BY ACRES OF FOREST AND FENCES SPRAWLED ACCROSS DIZZYING STRETCHES A TIME THEY SAW SO AND SO WALKING UP THEIR DRIVE "UT YOU CAN RARELY GET A PROPER LOOK $AY AND NIGHT THESE MYTHICAL BUILDINGS REMAIN HIDDEN FROM ROADS OUT OF PUB LIC SCRUTINY 3O WHEN ) DECIDED TO SPEND THE GREATER PART OF MY SUM MER WAITING TABLES AT THE 3EAWAN HAKA #ORINTHIAN 9ACHTING #LUB ) KNEW ) WOULD FACE A PRETTY STARK CHANGE OF ENVIRONMENT 4HE AIR WAS HOT THE SKY WAS CLEAR AND THE RIPPLING EXPANSE OF /YSTER "AY GLISTENED LIKE THE IM MENSE BODY OF SOME MYTHIC SEA CREATURE %VERYWHERE YACHTS MASTS ERECT SAILS AFLAIR EACH AS PURE AND WHITE AS THE 6IRGIN -ARY !ND WHO

WOULD FALL INTO THAT BORING CAT EGORY WHICH INCLUDES ANYONE WITH THEIR FINGER IN THE FINANCIAL PIE OR PROPERTY INDUSTRIAL TECHNOLOGI CAL FUEL ARMS PIE OR ANY OTHER PIE IN WHICH ) HAVE NO INTEREST AT ALL /R YOU COULD BE FINGERING THE GOOD PIE WHICH INCLUDES RETIRED (OL LYWOOD DIRECTORS WORKING (OLLY WOOD DIRECTORS ACTORS PRODUCERS WRITERS DESIGNERS PERFORMERS AND MUSICIANS ALSO CULTURE FASHION AND GENERAL PUBLIC ICONS ALL YOUNG TANNED AND ATTRACTIVE RIGHT AT THE ZENITH OF THEIR METEORIC CAREERS 9OUNG PEOPLE WERE SCARCE AT 3EA WANHAKA SO WHEN ANY TURNED UP ) NOTICED /NE 3UNDAY AFTERNOON

A GROUP SAUNTERED ALONG FOR THE WEEKLY @3ALTY $OG BARBEQUE 7HITE TEETH BALANCED TANS POSH APPAREL !LL BETWEEN LATE TWENTIES AND FORTY THAT S COMPARATIVELY YOUNG /NE LADY WAS LITERALLY FT AND LOOKED LIKE A SUPERMODEL 3EEING HER WALK IT WAS CLEAR SHE ACTUALLY WAS ONE ) WAS SERVING THEIR TABLE FETCH ING MORE DRINKS FOR THEM THAN FOR ALL OTHER TABLES COMBINED WHEN THE WIFE OF ONE MEMBER TOOK AN IN TEREST IN MY TRAVELS @:AK SHE ASKED LEANING BACK @7HERE ARE YOU FROM 7HAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE ) AN SWERED SLIPPING IN PIANO PLAYING AN INTEREST IN WRITING AND POSSI BLE PLANS FOR ,! @/H REALLY 4HAT SOUNDS GREAT 3HE POINTED OUT THE SUPERMODEL @3HE S JUST COME OVER FROM , ! -EETING THE MODEL S EYE ) RECEIVED A SMILE !N INVITATION PERHAPS .O SURELY NOT ,ATER AS ) ATE IN THE KITCHEN THE WIFE MARCHED IN DEMANDING TO hBORROW :AK FOR ONE MINUTE 3TAFF MEMBERS SCOFFED ) FOLLOWED HER OUT AND SHE SAID @$ON T WORRY WE LL GIVE YOU A BIG TIP BELIEVE ME 4HEY WERE ALL FROM (OLLYWOOD SHE TOLD ME (ER HUSBAND WAS A PRODUCER HIS FRIEND A DIRECTOR 4HERE WAS ALSO AN EXECUTIVE PRODUCER AND A WRITER ) LIED THAT MY SHIFT WAS OVER AND TOOK A SEAT WITH THEM ) MET #HRISTOPH (ARGREAVES A WRITER AND ASKED HIM FOR SOME ADVICE (E WAS FRIENDLY SLIGHTLY DRUNK AND HIS ADVICE WAS OBVIOUS (E SAID IF YOU WANT TO BE A SCREEN PLAY WRITER DO IT IN ,! THE %NGLAND FILM SCENE SUCKS )F YOU RE PERSEVER ING AND HAVE TALENT YOU PROBABLY WILL MAKE IT PROVIDING YOU RE PA TIENT (E RECOMMENDED LIVING IN ,! FOR A FEW YEARS BEFORE EXPECTING ANYTHING TO COME ALONG (E SAID THAT HE REALLY ENJOYED HIS JOB THAT

HIS LIFESTYLE WAS GREAT AND THAT HE WAS REALLY HAPPY TO BE DOING WHAT HE DOES .O SHIT ) THOUGHT 4HEY WERE THE LAST GUESTS TO LEAVE 4HEY DRANK TILL LATE STUBBING OUT FAG ENDS ON THE PORCH FLOOR 4HEY SAUNTERED OFF WITHOUT GIVING ME A TIP 4HEIR FAREWELL WAS BRISK DISTRACTED 4HREE OF THEM TOSSED ME THEIR BUSINESS CARDS 4HEN ANOTHER NIGHT TAKING A QUIET NOCTURNAL BOAT TRIP ALONG THE BAY SOME OF US HEARD A RAUCOUS PARTY THROUGH THE TREES -Y BOSS KNEW THE HOUSE )T WAS THEM 4HE (OLLYWOOD SOCIALITES LIVING OUT THEIR 'ATSBYESQUE YEARS OF COCKTAILS AND CAVIAR #ONFINED CIRCLES CON FINED HOMES CONFINED LIVES "UT ULTIMATELY ) HAD A GLIMPSE OF THE ,ONG )SLAND LIFESTYLE )N A JOB WHERE ) SERVED IMPORTANT PEOPLE BASKING IN THE SAME SUN AS THEY DID GORGING ON SIMILAR QUALITY FOOD TO THEIRS ) HAD NOT DONE BADLY !FTER ALL IT S AS CLOSE AS ) LL EVER GET

3ET UP YOUR OWN TRAVEL BLOG WITH WWW BLOGGER COM AND KEEP YOUR FRIENDS UP TO DATE WITH ALL YOUR TRAVEL ADVENTURES WHEREVER YOU ARE !ND YOU THOUGHT 4RAVEL 'URU WAS STUCK IN THE DUSTY PAST

#/.#2%4%

7EDNESDAY TH &EBRUARY

$EAR $AISY

#ONCRETE S AGONY AUNT

,)&%349,%

7ELCOME TO MY WORLD #ELIBACY

DEAR DAISY HOTMAIL CO UK

$EAR $AISY ) HAVE A BIT OF A PROBLEM IT S QUITE SILLY THOUGH AND ) FEEL ABOUT lFTEEN FOR ASKING ABOUT IT ) HAVE A BIT OF A CRUSH !CTUALLY IT S A FULLY mEDGED CRUSH BUTTERmIES WHEN ) SEE HIM SPEECH LOSS WHEN HE WALKS PAST ME AND PATHETIC LITTLE DAY DREAMS IN THE LIBRARY 7OW NOW THAT IT S WRITTEN DOWN ) FEEL EVEN MORE LIKE A WALLY ) JUST DON T KNOW HOW TO MAKE HIM NOTICE ME WE RE VAGUELY FRIENDS BUT ) M NOT SURE IF HE THINKS OF ME AS ANYTHING OTHER THAN ONE OF THOSE RANDOM PEOPLE YOU SAY @HI TO AT THE ,#2 ) M PRETTY SURE ) SHOULD ASK FOR ADVICE ON HOW TO STOP ACTING LIKE SUCH A MUPPET AROUND HIM TOO AND THEN WHEN ) VE PROGRESSED ON FROM THAT ) WANT TO MAKE HIM FALL HEAD OVER HEELS IN LOVE WITH ME (OW DO ) DO IT $AISY 4HIS YEAR ) LL GET NO 6ALENTINES CARDS WHAT SOEVER n ) BET YOU DON T HAVE THIS PROBLEM ,OVE 0HOEBE $EAR 0HOEBE $ON T YOU WORRY ABOUT IT $AISY WON T GET ANY 6ALENTINE S CARDS THIS YEAR n SHE IS FEELING VERY UNLOVED TOO 7E ALL HAVE LITTLE CRUSHES LIKE THIS BUT YOU SHOULD STOP FEELING SO HARD DONE BY #RUSHES ARE THE THINGS THAT PEOPLE IN OUT OF DATE RELATION SHIPS DREAM OF 4HEY RE BRILLIANT AND EXCITING ALBEIT SOMETIMES A LITTLE HEART WRENCHING WHEN YOU SEE HIM KISSING THAT GIRL WITH TOO MUCH FAKE TAN AT THE ,#2 /N ONE HAND YOU SHOULD STOP GETTING SO CAUGHT UP IN IT AND TAKE THE CHANCES YOU CAN TO GET TO KNOW HIM !ND ON THE OTHER YOU SHOULD JUST ENJOY HAVING THE CHANCE TO ACT SO SILLY n JUST AS LONG AS HE DOESN T SEE OR HEAR YOU DOING IT 4HAT WOULD BE A LITTLE WEIRD )F YOU REALLY CAN T GET HIM OUT OF YOUR HEAD AND YOU VAGUELY KNOW HIM THROUGH A FRIEND TRY THE @MY FRIEND FANCIES YOUR FRIEND TRICK )F HE LIKES YOU YOU RE ONTO A WINNER AND IF HE DOESN T IT MINIMISES ANY POTENTIAL EMBARASSMENT "UT BE CAREFUL THAT YOU RE NOT SIMPLY DESPERATE FOR LURVE )F YOU DON T KNOW HIM THAT WELL ARE YOU SURE HE S REALLY A GREAT GUY 7ITH 6ALENTINE S DAY AROUND THERE S ALWAYS PRESSURE TO GET A DATE $ON T GIVE IN THOUGH BEING SINGLE HAS IT S UPS AS WELL 3O TAKE IT EASY WITH YOUR 0RINCE #HARMING 'ET TO KNOW HIM A BIT BETTER AND HAVE MORE FAITH LOVE IS ALL AROUND ,OVE $AISY XXX

(ELPFUL NUMBERS AND E MAIL ADDRESSES #OUNSELLING SERVICE !DVICE #ENTRE 7ELFARE /FlCER SU WELFARE UEA AC UK .IGHTLINE NIGHTLINE UEA AC UK

AN UNMARRIED STATUS CHASTITY ABSTAINING FROM SEXUAL RELATIONS AS BECAUSE OF RELIGIOUS VOWS

#ELIBACY MAY REFER EITHER TO BEING UN

MARRIED OR TO SEXUAL ABSTINENCE !N OATH OF CELIBACY IS A PROMISE NOT TO ENTER INTO MARRIAGE 3OME WRITERS PREFER THIS USAGE OF hCELIBACYv WHILE OTHERS USE IT INTERCHANGE

ABSTINENCE

ABLY AS A SYNONYM FOR 4HIS IS A WORD IN TRANSITION )N THE PAST IT HAS SIM PLY MEANT TO BE UNMARRIED -ORE RECENTLY IT HAS EVOLVED TO MEAN THE ACT OF SEXUAL ABSTINENCE 7E RECOMMEND THAT THE WORD NEVER BE USED UNLESS IT IS CAREFULLY PRE DElNED 7E RECOMMEND hUNMAR RIEDv AND hSEXUALLY INACTIVEv OR hA VIRGINv AS

PREFERRED UNAMBIGUOUS TERMS #OMPLETE SEXUAL ABSTINENCE !LSO THE STATE OF A PERSON WHO HAS VOWS TO REMAIN UNMARRIED

2ELIGIOUS FREE CHOICE OR EVEN LACK OF CHOICE !NDREW *ONES EXPLORES THE INCREASING TREND FOR PURSUING CELIBACY AS A LIFESTYLE CHOICE AND THE REASONS BEHIND IT

ALENTINE S DAY CAN BE A DIFlCULT PE RIOD FOR ONE OF SOCIETY S MOST NEGLECTED GROUPS THE CELIBATES 0EOPLE WHO ARE CELIBATE WHETHER OR NOT BY CHOICE ARE OFTEN VIEWED AS IN SOME WAY AB NORMAL OR DElCIENT 4HEY ARE BRANDED AS IN DENIAL OF INNATE FEELINGS NATURAL TO ALL HUMANS 4HERE ARE IN FACT MANY GOOD REASONS FOR CHOOSING A LIFE OF CELIBACY EVEN IN OUR AGE OF CONTRACEPTION ABORTION AND SEXUAL EDUCATION #ELIBACY CAN BE A RELIGIOUS CHOICE A SEXUAL PREFERENCE OR SIMPLY AN INDIF FERENCE TOWARDS SEXUALITY !S SOCIETY HAS BECOME INCREASINGLY SEXUALISED TO THE POINT WHERE EVEN CHILDREN S STATIONARY IS EMBLAZONED WITH THE PLAYBOY LOGO CELIBACY IS INCREASINGLY VIEWED AS AN OUTDATED CONCEPT CLUNG TO BY RELIGIOUS ZEALOTS AND STUFFY TRA DITIONALISTS 3INCE THE SEXUAL REVOLUTION OF THE S CELI BACY AND VIRGINITY HAVE BEEN DERIDED AS CONCEPTS TO SUCH A DEGREE THAT FOR SOME PEOPLE ANY SEX IS lNE EXCEPT A LACK OF SEXUAL ORIENTATION (OWEVER THROUGH THE INTERNET COM MUNITIES ARE BEGINNING TO EMERGE THAT DElNE THEMSELVES AS CELIBATE /NE OF THE MOST PROMI NENT EXAMPLES OF THE PROMO TION OF CELIBACY IS THAT OF RELIGION -ANY VARIED FAITH GROUPS SUPPORT CELIBACY 3OME PROMOTE ABSTINENCE BEFORE MARRIAGE OTHERS ADVOCATE TOTAL CELIBACY ESPECIALLY AMONG RE LIGIOUS LEADERS 4HE KEY ARGU MENT IS COMMON TO THE THREE MAIN MONOTHEISTIC RELIGIONS 4HAT IS THE SACRED NATURE OF

h#ELIBACY IS NOT NECESSAR ILY A DENIAL OR REPRESSION OF FEELINGS )T CAN BE AND SHOULD BE REGARDED AS A GENUINE EXPRESSION OF SEXUALITY v SEXUAL INTERCOURSE 3EX IS A HAL LOWED ACT FOR PROCREATION AND THIS IS SOLELY WHAT IT SHOULD BE FOR 4HE SEVERITY WITH WHICH THIS IS INTERPRETED DEPENDS ON THE EXACT RELIGION AND SECT 4HE 2OMAN #ATHOLIC #HURCH HAS BEEN PARTICULARLY STRICT IN THIS RESPECT BY CONDEMNING SEXUAL PRACTISES SUCH AS MASTURBATION AND THE VIEWING OF PORNOG RAPHY AS SINFUL /THER PARTS OF THE #HRISTIAN CHURCH HAVE

TAKEN A MORE LIBERAL APPROACH ADVOCATING SEX ONLY WITHIN COMMITTED LONG TERM RELATION SHIPS !NOTHER RELIGIOUS ARGU MENT THAT TAKES A SOMEWHAT DIFFERENT FORM IS THE "UDDHIST TRADITION WHERE SEXUAL ABSTI NENCE IS REVERED AS ONE THE EIGHT PRECEPTS OF SILA VIRTU OUS BEHAVIOUR "UDDHISM EMPHASISES THE ADDICTIVE NATURE OF SEXUAL PRACTISE )T IS COMMONLY LIKENED TO DRINKING SALT WATER ONCE YOU START YOU CONSTANTLY CRAVE MORE )N ORDER TO ESCAPE THIS DESIRE ONE MUST NOT PRACTISE SEXUAL INTERCOURSE AT ALL 4HIS IS LINKED TO ONE OF THE CORE CONCEPTS OF "UDDHISM DESIRE IS THE CAUSE OF ALL SUFFERING 4HIS EXTREME FORM OF CELIBACY IS ONLY APPLIED TO MEMBERS OF THE "UDDHIST RELIGION WHO PRACTISE ASCETICISM LAYPEOPLE ARE ADVISED SIMPLY TO REFRAIN FROM SEXUAL MISCONDUCT #ELIBACY CAN ALSO BE A MATTER OF SEXUAL ORIENTATION 4HE MOST RARE FORM OF SEXUAL ORIENTATION IS THAT OF AUTO EROTICISM 4HIS IS TO DESCRIBE PEOPLE WHO ARE SEXUALLY AT TRACTED TO THEIR OWN BODY 4HIS IS AN ALMOST UNHEARD OF SEXUAL ORIENTATION HOWEVER IT DOES EXIST AND IS ONE OF THE REASONS FOR CELIBACY !SEXUALITY IS AN OTHER UNCOMMON FORM OF CELI BACY )T IS A LACK OF ANY SEXUAL DESIRES OR FEELINGS )T COULD BE DESCRIBED AS AN INDIFFERENCE TOWARDS SEXUALITY IN GENERAL !SEXUALITY AND AUTO EROTI CISM HAVE NOT BEEN WIDELY RESEARCHED BUT ARE REGARDED BY MOST ANTHROPOLOGISTS AS A VALID SEXUAL PERSUASION 4HESE ARE ALL PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE REASONS TO MAKE A CONSCIOUS DECISION TO BECOME

CELIBATE HOWEVER ONE OF THE LEAST UNDERSTOOD AND MOST COMMONLY OVERLOOKED FORMS OF CELIBACY IS THAT OF INVOL UNTARY CELIBACY OR INCEL AS IT IS KNOWN 4HIS IS A CONDI TION THAT AFFECTS PEOPLE WHO STRUGGLE TO FORM RELATIONSHIPS OR lND SEXUAL PARTNERSHIPS )T COULD BE FOR A NUMBER OF REASONS A PERSON COULD BE UNABLE TO MEET OTHERS THEY MAY HAVE POOR SOCIAL SKILLS OR THEY COULD SIMPLY BE SHY )NCELS ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE UN ABLE TO MAKE OR RECEIVE SEXUAL ADVANCES WITHOUT EXPERIENC ING FEELINGS OF PANIC OR TERROR 4HIS CAN BE FOR ANY NUMBER OF REASONS INCLUDING ABUSE IN A PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIP A DYSFUNCTIONAL UPBRINGING OR A LACK OF SOCIAL SKILLS 4HIS TYPE OF CELIBACY HAS RECENTLY RECEIVED MORE ATTENTION WITH SUPPORT GROUPS SET UP ONLINE TO HELP PEOPLE OVERCOME THEIR PROBLEMS WITH SEXUAL RELATION SHIPS 7ITH HOMOSEXUALITY INCREASINGLY BECOMING AC CEPTED AND EMBRACED WITHIN THE MAINSTREAM OF SOCIETY CELIBACY IS ONE OF THE lNAL TABOOS OF ACCEPTABLE SEXUAL PREFERENCES 7ITH THE RECENT RISE TO PROMINENCE OF ABSTI NENCE ONLY RELIGIOUS GROUPS ESPECIALLY WITHIN !MERICAN POLITICS CELIBACY IS BEING SEEN MORE AND MORE AS A RELIGIOUS CHOICE (OWEVER IT IS IMPOR TANT THAT CELIBACY DOES NOT BECOME SYNONYMOUS WITH RELIGION OR ANY OTHER EXTERNAL FACTOR #ELIBACY IS NOT NECES SARILY A DENIAL OR REPRESSION OF FEELINGS )T CAN AND SHOULD BE REGARDED AS A GENUINE EXPRES SION OF SEXUALITY

&//$ ,)&%349,%

&OODS OF LOVE

7EDNESDAY TH &EBRUARY #/.#2%4%

(ORNY 'OAT 7EED ANYONE &ROM THE QUIRKY TO THE QUEASY THE RANGE OF FOODS CLAIMED TO HAVE APHRODISIAC QUALITIES IS CONSIDER ABLE AS *ENNY 0ERKS DISCOVERED

ONSIDER THE SUGGESTIVE LICK ING OF A LOLLY POP MEANING FULLY DIRECTED AT A TEENAGER S OBJECT OF DESIRE ,IKEWISE THE CLAIM ARTICULATED TO MANY AN UNDOMESTICATED DAUGHTER BY MOTHERS AND GRANDMOTHERS THROUGHOUT THE LAND THAT THE WAY TO A MAN S HEART IS THROUGH HIS STOMACH /R EVEN ONE ANCIENT RECOMMENDATION THAT SUGGESTS WOMEN SHOULD SPRIN KLE DRIED BASIL ON THEIR BREASTS TO PREVENT THEIR HUSBAND S EYES FROM WANDERING !LL SERVE TO DEMONSTRATE THE POTENT CONNECTIONS EMBED DED WITHIN THE HUMAN PSYCHE LINKING SEDUCTION AND FOOD THE VERSATILITY OF WHICH PERMITS ITS USE AS PROP SENSORY STIMULI

&OOD FOR 4HOUGHT

%VERY DAY HUNDREDS OF STUDENTS ARE FACED WITH COMPLICATED DECISIONS RELATING TO FOOD 7HEN DO ) EAT 7HAT DO ) EAT 7HICH PARTICULAR CUTS OF !TLANTIC lSH CAUSE CHRONIC DIARROHEA 4HE FOLLOWING ARTICLE WILL HELP SOLVE THESE PRESSING TRIBULATIONS AND IS NO WAY INTENDED TO AMUSE ENTER TAIN OR SATIRICALLY PORTRAY THE MINDSET OF A NAÕVE AND SOMEWHAT INSANE INDIVIDUAL 4HE DElNITIONS MAY OR MAY NOT BE BASED ON SCIENTIlC HISTORICAL OR LITERARY EVIDENCE 4HEY MUST HOWEVER BE CONSIDERED AS FACT

%ROTIC PROP SENSORY STIMULI AND PERHAPS EVEN LOVE CHARM AND PERHAPS EVEN LOVE CHARMx 3INCE ANCIENT TIMES MEN AND WOMEN HAVE SOUGHT TO EXPLOIT THIS CONNECTION HOPING TO IDENTIFY FOODSTUFFS CAPABLE OF STIMULATING AND SUSTAINING EROTIC DESIRE AND IMPROVING SEXUAL PERFORMANCE )NTER EST IN APHRODISIACS IS FOUND ACROSS CULTURES AND RELIGIONS FROM 0LINY WRITING IN 2OME TO THE !RABIC TEXT 4HE 0ERFUMED 'ARDEN

4HE ORIGINS OF THE CLAIMS FOR MANY ANCIENT APHRODISIACS CAN BE EXPLAINED BY THE PRINCI PLES OF SYMPATHETIC MAGIC FOR EXAMPLE WITH THE RHINOCEROS HORN WHICH MADE IT THE UNFOR TUNATE ATTRACTION FOR POACHERS 3IMILAR LOGIC MIGHT BE APPLIED TO #ASANOVA S APHRODIASIAC OF CHOICE THE OYSTER ALTHOUGH THERE ARE MORE CREDIBLE SUGGES TIONS THAT THEIR SLIGHTLY SALTY SWEET SCENT IS SIMILAR TO THE MOST POWERFUL FEMALE PHEROM ONE AND IS MILDLY STIRRING h/YSTERS %UCH v ) HEAR SOME OF YOU PROCLAIM "UT THAT IS NOTHING COMPARED DAY OLD FERTILISED EGGS SUFlCENTLY DEVELOPED SO THAT WINGS BEAK ETC ARE EVIDENT KNOWN AS "ALUT AND CONSIDERED APHRO DISIACS IN PARTS OF !SIA 7ORTH A MENTION FOR ITS

NAME ALONE IS (ORNY 'OAT 7EED A HERB AVAILABLE AT HEALTH FOOD SHOPS 4OUTED AS A NATURAL VIAGRA THIS IS ONE FOR THE BOYS -ORE CONVENTIONAL AND APPERTIZING TO MANY IS CHOCO LATE -ONTEZUMA THE !ZTEC EMPEROR WAS REPUTED TO DRINK GOBLETS OF CHOCOLATE A DAY IN ORDER TO ENHAUNCE HIS SEXUAL ABILITY !ND A NEW THEORY IS THAT SOME OF THE FATS IN CHOCO LATE ACT ON THE CANNABINOID RECEPTORS IN THE BRAIN TO CREATE A MILD EUPHORIA 7HILST THERE ARE SUGGESTIONS THAT ASPARAGUS MAY INmUENCE THE SEX HORMONE RECEPTORS 7HATEVER THE EXACT SCIENCE USED SKILFULLY MANY FOODS CAN BE ENLISTED IN YOUR QUEST TO SEDUCE AS SUGGESTED BELOW

0LANNING A STIMULATING MEAL )NVITE YOUR BELOVED INTENDED AROUND FOR THE EVENING 1UITE AN IMPORTANT BIT THAT %VICT ANY HOUSEMATES BUT lRST MAKE SURE THAT YOU GET THEM TO REMOVE THEIR RUBBISH FROM THE PROPOSED DINING AREA #REATE A SEDUCTIVE ATMOSPHERE 4HIS IS LIKELY TO REQUIRE TIDYING AT THE VERY LEAST #USHIONS AND THROWS IMAGINATIVELY USED CAN ALSO HELP AS CAN BURNING ESSENTIAL OILS SANDALWOOD YLANG YLANG AND ROSE ALL ARE REPUTED TO HAVE AN APHRODISIAC EFFECT WHY NOT EXPERIMENT 4HE KEY TO A SUCCESSFUL SEDUCTION OVER DINNER IS SELECTING DISHES THAT ARE APPERTISING BUT FAIRLY LIGHT 4HE AIM IS TO BE STIMULATED BUT NOT SATED AND CERTAINLY NOT SO FULL OF FOOD AND WINE THAT AN AFTER DINNER NAP IS CALLED FOR 7HICH BRINGS ME ONTO MY NEXT POINT ALCOHOL 7HILE UNDOUBTEDLY A COUPLE OF GLASSES CAN BE INVALUABLE IN LOWERING INHIBITIONS AND MAKING YOU FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE TURN THIS INTO A COUPLE OF BOTTLES AND ALL YOUR PREPARATIONS MAY BE FOR NOTHING 3HAKESPEARE KNEW WHAT HE WAS TALKING ABOUT WHEN HE WROTE h)T PROVOKES THE DESIRE BUT TAKES AWAY FROM THE PERFORMANCE v !VOID THE TEMPTATION TO BUY THE CHEAPEST INGREDIENTS INVEST MENT IN QUALITY WILL PAY DIVIDENDS !LSO OF RELEVANCE IS PRESENTATION CAN THE FOOD BE ATTRACTIVELY PRESENTED ON A PLATE %VEN BETTER IS THERE POTENTIAL OF EROTIC AU TOSUGGESTION IN ITS CONSUMPTION IE CAN YOU PLAY SEDUCTIVELY WITH THE INGREDIENTS /YSTERS ASPARAGUS SPEARS AND CHOCOLATE STRAWS ALL HAVE THEIR PART TO PLAY HEREx ! SUGGESTED MENU 3TARTER /YSTERS 'RATINEES A LA #REME 2EQUIRES OYSTERS G PARMESAN G CREAM BUTTER /PEN THE OYSTERS DETACH FROM THE SHELL 0UT A DESSERTSPOON OF CREAM IN EACH DUST WITH PARMESAN SPRINKLE WITH MELTED BUTTER THEN COOK UNDER A HOT GRILL FOR MINUTES

-AIN COURSE #HARGRILLED #HICKEN BREASTS SERVED ON A BED OF STEAMED ASPARAGUS SPEARS WITH HOLLANDAISE SAUCE 2EQUIRES ORGANIC CHICKEN BREASTS ASPARAGUS SPEARS MASHED POTATO OPTIONAL SLIGHTLY BEATEN EGG YOLKS TBSP LEMON JUICE LB BUTTER TSP CAYENNE PEPPER TSP OREGANO SEASONING #HICKEN 2EMOVE ANY SINEW FROM THE CHICKEN BREAST LEAVING THE SKIN ON OR OFF AS YOU PREFER 2UB WITH MELTED BUTTER SALT AND PEPPER (EAT A GRIDDLE PAN OR WOK AND COOK FOR MINUTES ON EACH SIDE OR UNTIL GOLDEN BROWN (OLLANDAISE SAUCE 0LACE INGREDIENTS IN SAUCEPAN #OOK OVER LOW HEAT STIRRING CONSTANTLY UNTIL BUTTER MELTS AND SAUCE BECOMES SLIGHTLY THICKENED !SPARAGUS 2INSE THE ASPARAGUS SPEARS IN THE SINK 4O REMOVE ANY TOUGH WOODY STEM SECTIONS HOLD AN ASPARAGUS SPEAR WITH ONE HAND IN THE MIDDLE AND THE OTHER AT THE STEM AND BEND UNTIL THE SPEAR SNAPS $ISCARD THE END SECTION AND PLACE THE SPEAR IN A MICROWAVABLE DISH 3EASON WITH A PINCH OF SALT AND PLENTY OF BUT TER #OVER THE DISH WITH MICROWAVABLE lLM OR ANOTHER DISH #OOK ON HIGH FOR MINUTES DEPENDING ON THE THICKNESS OF THE SPEAR UNTIL CRISPLY TENDER $ESSERT #HOCOLATE -OUSSE 2EQUIRES ML DOUBLE CREAM G GOOD QUALITY DARK CHOC OLATE lNELY CHOPPED TEASPOON VANILLA EXTRACT TEASPOON SALT #HOCOLATE STRAWS OPTIONAL )N A SMALL PAN OVER A HIGH HEAT WARM ML OF THE CREAM JUST TO A BOIL 0UT THE CHOPPED CHOCOLATE IN A BOWL AND POUR THE CREAM OVER IT 7HISK UNTIL COMBINED AND THE CHOCOLATE IS COMPLETELY MELTED AND SMOOTH !LLOW IT TO COOL THEN WHISK IN THE VANILLA AND SALT "EAT THE REMAINING CREAM TO STIFF PEAKS !DD THE CHOCO LATE MIXTURE AND BEAT ON UNTIL THE MIXTURE FORMS SOFT PEAKS 3ERVE IN BOWLS AND CHILL UNTIL READY TO SERVE

-%!4 9OU CAN EAT ANIMALS UNLESS YOU ARE A VEG ETARIAN A VEGAN OR A POT PLANT %XAMPLES OF ANIMALS THAT YOU MAY EAT ARE COWS PIGS SHEEP AND 0ACIlC GOPHER SNAKES %XAM PLES OF ANIMALS THAT YOU MAY NOT EAT ARE SWANS BADGERS AND -UPPETS 6EGETARIANS WILL ARGUE THAT EATING ANIMALS IS DISGUSTING OR WRONG /MNIVOROUS PEOPLE WILL ARGUE THAT MEATS ARE MIGHTIER THAN VEGETABLES BECAUSE THE NOUN HAS BEEN TURNED INTO A VERB 4HAT IS TO SAY THAT YOU CAN @MEAT SOMEONE BUT YOU CANNOT VEGETABLE SOME ONE #(%%3% #HEESE IS AN EASY ALTERNATIVE TO MEAT IN ORDER TO KEEP UP YOUR PROTEIN INTAKE (OWEVER IT IS THE SOLIDIlED LACTATE OF A COW S BREAST AND TASTES A LOT LIKE ATHLETE S FOOT 4HEREFORE IT IS BEST AVOIDED UNLESS YOU ARE A MOUSE 9/2+3()2% 05$$).' )N THE EARLY NINETEENTH CENTURY THE CAN NIBAL TRIBES OF ,INCOLNSHIRE DECIDED TO EX PAND THEIR DIETS BY EATING THE GOOD PEOPLE OF 9ORKSHIRE 4HEY WOULD EAT SUCH PEOPLE IN PUDDING FORM THUS GIVING RISE TO THE INNOVATION WE NOW KNOW AS @9ORKSHIRE PUDDING &,/52 4HE REASON ) AM REFERENCING mOUR IS BE CAUSE WE MUST CONSIDER THE MOST BASIC OF FOODS AS WELL AS ALL THE BIG NAMES &LOUR IS USED FREQUENTLY IN COOKING AND IS RARELY INGESTED IN ITS BASE FORM EXCEPT PERHAPS BY POOR PEOPLE AND RECENTLY SWINDLED CO CAINE ADDICTS &LOUR IS USED IN BAKING AND ALSO VEGETABLE PRODUCTION )F YOU WANT YOUR FOODS TO DEVELOP A TRAIT OF SELF EDUCA TION AND INDEPENDENCE THEN USE SELF RAIS ING mOUR 0)'%/. 4%34)#,%3 0IGEON TESTICLES ARE A DELICACY IN ALL NA TIONALITIES CONSISTING OF SMALL PEOPLE E G FAIRIES BORROWERS AND SMURFS 4HEY ARE RICH IN PROTEIN AND EASY TO DIGEST &URTHER MORE IT IS USEFUL THAT PEOPLE EAT THEM AS THIS LIMITS PIGEON REPRODUCTION AND THUS IMPROVES THE GENERAL QUALITY OF THE WORLD 4HE PROCESS OF CATCHING A LIVE PIGEON FOR PURPOSES OF CASTRATION IS ONE THAT IS LONG AND EXPENSIVE SINCE THOSE WHO EAT THE TES TICLES ARE ALWAYS OF A SPECIES THAT IS SMALLER THAN THE BIRD ITSELF 5SUALLY A LARGE MODEL OF A FEMALE PIGEON WILL BE CRAFTED AND THE MALE S TESTICLES ARE REMOVED DURING COPU LATION WITH IT 4OM -ORAN

#/.#2%4%

7EDNESDAY TH &EBRUARY

#/--%.4 /0).)/.

2ADICALISM IS DEAD 2ICHARD 2EYNOLDS *OE #ONBOY S LETTER IN LAST WEEK S #ONCRETE STARTS OFF AS A GREAT SHOW OF SPORTS MANSHIP AND DEMON STRATES A GOOD LOOSER (E RAN A VIGOROUS CAMPAIGN AND FOUGHT HARD FOR THE POSITION WHICH HE LOST BY A NARROW MARGIN 9OU MAY HAVE GUESSED THERE WAS A hBUTv COMING 7ELLx ALTHOUGH ) WOULD PRAISE HIS EFFORTS TO hPOLITICISEv THE STUDENT BODY ) CANNOT AGREE THAT THE NARROWNESS OF THE VOTE SHOWED ANY REAL LEVEL OF SUCCESS 4HE 5NION ELECTIONS ARE INDEED A GREAT PLACE TO PRAC TICE YOUR CAMPAIGNING SKILLS

AND WITH A GROUP AS DEDICAT ED AS THE SOCIALISTS BEHIND YOU YOUR MESSAGE CANNOT FAIL TO REACH A GREAT MANY STUDENTS 5NFORTUNATELY THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT THEY ARE POLITICISED OR INDEED THAT THEY REALLY AGREE WITH WHAT YOU STAND FOR EVEN IF YOU DO WIN THEIR VOTES )N ALL HONESTY EVERYONE ) KNOW WHO IS NOT INVOLVED IN CENTRAL UNION POLITICS PER HAPS BETTER CALLED hNORMAL STUDENTSv VOTED ON WHO THEY HAD SEEN THE MOST OF TEN BAR ONE CANDIDATE WHO WAS CLEARLY SUFFERING FROM SOME SORT OF NARCISSISTIC MANIA WHO OF COURSE ) WOULDN T DREAM OF NAMING *ACK 3HANNON ALSO RAN AN INTERESTING CAMPAIGN WHICH YOU COULD ARGUE WAS

POLITICAL THOUGH ) FEEL RATH ER ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE SPECTRUM FROM *OE AND THE SOCIALISTS !NYWAY *OE S hRADICAL CAMPAIGNv DON T SEEM ALL THAT RADICAL WHEN YOU START TO LOOK AT WHAT HE ACTUALLY CAMPAIGNED FOR STAYING IN THE .53 A BODY SET UP BY GOVERNMENT CONTROLLED BY GOVERNMENT AND TO BE HON EST OFTEN JUST THE CAREER PATH TO BE PART OF A ,ABOUR GOV ERNMENT "ESIDES WE RE AL READY IN IT SO WHAT S RADICAL ABOUT NO CHANGE 4HE #OCA #OLA BOYCOTT WAS HIS OTHER BIG AGENDAx WELL IF HE GETS NAMES ) M SURE WE CAN GO TO THE VOTE AGAIN ) DON T WANT TO GET DRAWN INTO THE ARGU MENTS AROUND #OCA #OLA

ONLY TO SAY IF NOT BUYING SOMETHING PASSES FOR RADI CALISM THESE DAYS THEN IT S A PALE SHADE OF WHAT STUDENT RADICALISM ONCE WAS 3TUDENT RADICALS HAVE BEEN PART OF SOCIAL MOVE MENTS THROUGHOUT %UROPE SINCE THE &RENCH 2EVOLU TION AND THEY MOST RECENT LY HELPED BRING DOWN THE &OURTH 2EPUBLIC A LITTLE OVER lFTY YEARS AGO IN &RANCE )N THE STATES STUDENTS HELPED END THE 6IETNAM WAR HERE WE BUY 0EPSI ) M NOT CALL ING FOR PEOPLE TO DO THESE THINGS IN FACT ) QUITE LIKE THAT #OCA #OLA IS BACK BUT IF NOT BUYING SOMETHING IS REALLY THE BEST WE CAN DO TO CHANGE THE WORLD ) THINK THOSE WHO CLAIM TO BE RADI CAL REALLY ARE A SHADOW OF

WHAT THEY ONCE WERE 3O THIS IS NOT AN ARGUMENT FOR A NEW RADICALISM OR A ATTACK ON THE CAMPAIGN OF *OE #ONBOY BUT CERTAINLY WE SHOULD REAL ISE THAT UNLIKE OUR PREDECES SORS WE THE STUDENTS OF 5%! ARE NOT RADICAL 3OCIALISTS LIBERALS CON SERVATIVES COMMUNISTS IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE THE WORLD 5NION POLITICS CAN T DO IT FOR YOU REGARDLESS OF THE BELIEFS OF STUDENTS THE UNION CANNOT BE A CAM PAIGNING BODY AS WE ARE LEGALLY BARRED FOR DOING SO 3O IF YOU REALLY DO WANT TO CHANGE THE WORLD GO AHEAD BUT NOT THROUGH THE 5NION A BODY THAT CAN ONLY DEAL WITH EXCLUSIVELY STUDENT IS SUES )T S A WASTE OF EVERY ONE S TIME

MOULD ESCAPE FROM PARENTAL INmUENCE AND REALLY TAKE THE TIME OUT TO EVALUATE DEVELOP AND ABSORB NEW IDEAS AND WAYS OF THINKING !S 3OCRA TES ONCE SAID SECONDED BY (OMER 3IMPSON HIMSELF @THE MORE ) LEARN THE LESS ) KNOW )T IS FOR THESE REASONS THAT ) AM RELUCTANT TO ADOPT A SOLID POLITICAL OR ETHI CAL STANCE .O DOUBT SOME WOULD CALL ME lCKLE BUT ) OFTEN RElNE MY OPINION ON CURRENT AFFAIRS AND THE ETHI CAL ISSUES THAT 5%! LIKES TO PRESENT TO THE STUDENT POPU LATION ) THINK IT CAN BE ALL TOO EASY TO CROSS A BOX ON A

BALLOT PAPER IN A RELATIVELY UNTHINKING WAY ) M SURE WE VE ALL DONE IT ! TYPICAL @LEFT WING ADVOCATE IS LIKELY TO VOTE DIFFERENTLY ON ETHICAL ISSUES THAN FOR EXAMPLE A DEVOUT #ONSERVATIVE 4HERE IS NO PROBLEM WITH THIS BUT IT DOES MAKE ME THINK THE MORE ONE FEELS PRESSURED TO BE ONE THING OR ANOTHER ARE WE LESS LIKELY TO BE TRUE TO OURSELVES /NCE WE HAVE DE CIDED WHERE WE POLITICALLY @lT IN ARE WE ONLY EVER GOING TO SEE LIFE THROUGH THAT LOOKING GLASS !S SOMEONE ONCE FAMOUSLY SAID h)T IS DOUBT THAT UNITES US AND CERTAINTY THAT DIVIDES USv

PRESIDENT DOES SOMETHING POSITIVE FOR THE WORLD SO WHY CRITICIZE HIM ABOUT THIS AS WELL ) ALMOST GET THE IM PRESSION PEOPLE hHATEv "USH FOR THE SAKE OF HATING HIM )T HAS BECOME A TREND TO DISLIKE "USH )NSTEAD OF NEGATING ALL OF HIS DOINGS WE SHOULD GET OVER THE FACT THAT HE IS A BAD PRESIDENT AND TAKE A LOOK AT WHAT WE CAN DO AS YOUNG PEOPLE TO MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE !S THE WORLD S SUPER POWER !MERICA HAS A LOT ON ITS SHOULDERS AND IT IS AL WAYS EASY TO BLAME THE BIG GUY FOR ALL THE PROBLEMS )N FACT IT IS ALWAYS EASY TO

POINT THE lNGER BUT WHEN IT ACTUALLY COMES TO DOING SOMETHING WE STAND AROUND WATCH THINGS HAPPEN )T IS SAID THAT IT IS NOT THE THINGS ONE DOES THAT MATTER BUT THE REASONS FOR WHICH ONE DID THEM THAT REALLY COUNT 7ELL ) THINK THAT THEORY IS WRONG BECAUSE WHATEVER REASONS "USH HAD BEHIND THE GREEN SPEECH THE AIMS ARE STILL THE SAME AND ALTHOUGH "USH IS USING THIS TO GAIN POPULARITY AMONG HIS POLITICAL OPPO NENTS HE SHOULD BE PRAISED RATHER THAN CRITICIZED FOR TAKING ACTION AGAINST GLOBAL WARMING

7HO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE 2ACHEL -ORRIS (E S A SOCIALIST SHE S A PRAGMATIST AND THEY RE FEMINISTS 7E RE DIE HARD LIBERALS YOU RE A 4ORY AND ) Mx WELL CONFUSED 5NI VERSITY ENCOURAGES US TO DEVELOP BOTH ACADEMICALLY AND SOCIALLY 4HERE ARE AMPLE OPPORTUNITIES TO BE INVOLVED IN AN ARRAY OF AC TIVITIES AND MEET THOSE WHO SHARE YOUR INTERESTS 4HERE IS A GENERAL UNDERSTANDING THAT BY NOW WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO STATE OUR OPINIONS

AND BELIEFS CONCERNING PAR TICULAR ISSUES WHETHER THEY ARE ETHICAL POLITICAL OR OTH ERWISE 4HESE OPINIONS AND BELIEFS OFTEN LEAD TO AN OB SESSION WITH CATEGORISATION AND PEOPLE BECOME HEAVILY CONCERNED WITH CONFORMING TO IDEOLOGIES SUCH AS 3OCIAL ISM &EMINISM AND SO ON ) BELIEVE THAT AT TIMES THE DESIRE TO DElNE YOUR POLITICAL STANCE IS A HINDRANCE )NSTEAD OF THINKING AS AN INDIVIDUAL AUTONOMOUS BEING WE BEGIN TO ONLY THINK WITHIN A &EMI NIST 3OCIALIST #ONSERVATIVE ETC FRAMEWORK )T IS FAIR TO SAY THAT YOU WERE AN INDI VIDUAL PRIOR TO DEVELOPING

YOUR @STANCE AND YOU SHOULD REMAIN TO BE AN INDIVIDUAL WITHIN IT ) AM BY NO MEANS SAYING THAT PEOPLE SHOULD BE IN ANY WAY DISCOURAGED FROM SUCH PERSONAL CONVICTION BUT RATHER ) FEEL IT IMPORTANT THAT OTHERS DO NOT FEEL PRES SURED TO ASSIGN THEMSELVES TO A POINT ALONG THE SPECTRUM IN THE WAY THAT SOME OF THEIR PEERS DO 4HOSE WHO ARE UNABLE OR RELUCTANT TO STATE THEIR POSITION ON ETHICAL ISSUES OR POLITICAL DEBATES SHOULD NOT NECESSARILY BE LABELLED APATHETIC 4HIS IS SURELY A TIME IN OUR LIVES THAT GRANTS US THE FREEDOM TO @BREAK THE

"USH #UT (IM 3OME 3LACK )ZABELLA $EPCZYK !S MOST OF US ARE AWARE "USH IS NOT THE SHARP EST TOOL IN THE BOX WHEN IT COMES TO POPULAR DECI SION MAKING OR INDEED SMART DECISION MAKING .EVERTHELESS THE POOR GUY HAS BEEN TRYING HARD LATELY TO PLEASE THE REST OF THE WORLD WITH HIS GREEN SPEECH TO THE NATION %VEN THOSE WHO HOLD THE MOST SKEPTICAL VIEW OF -R "USH HAVE TO ADMIT THAT THIS IS A BIG STEP FOR AN ADMINIS

TRATION THAT USED TO REJECT THE IDEA THAT GLOBAL WARMING IS TAKING PLACE 4HE PRESIDENT S SPEECH LIKE MANY OTHERS DOES INCLUDE CERTAIN INCO HERENCIES IN SOME PARTS LACKING GRAMMATICAL STRUC TURE AND OVERLY MOTIVATIONAL EXPRESSIONS AIMED AT MAK ING PEOPLE BELIEVE IN "USH S AUTHENTICITY (OWEVER HE DOES STATE ACTUAL GOALS FOR THE NEXT SEVERAL YEARS ON CUT TING DOWN GREENHOUSE GAS EMISSIONS !MONGST THESE GOALS IS THE h IN TEN GOALv WHICH MEANS CUTTING PETROL USE BY PER CENT OVER THE NEXT TEN YEARS CONTINUING RESEARCH INTO RENEWABLE FU

ELS AND MOST IMPORTANTLY AS HE HIMSELF SAID TACKLING THE hSERIOUS CHALLENGE OF GLOBAL CLIMATE CHANGE v !LTHOUGH "USH STILL HAS NOT SIGNED THE +YOTO 0ROTOCOL AS MANY 7ESTERN COUNTRIES HAVE HE IS ON THE RIGHT PATH TO REDUC ING EMISSION OF GREENHOUSE GASES -ANY MIGHT SAY THIS IS JUST AN ATTEMPT TO GET SUP PORT ESPECIALLY AS RECENT POLLS SHOW THAT -R "USH IS THE LEAST SUPPORTED PRESI DENT IN THE 53! SINCE 2ICH ARD .IXON AND THE 7ATER GATE SCANDAL IN BUT SO WHAT )T DOES NOT HAPPEN OFTEN THAT THE CURRENT 53

/PITALK BY ,OUIS (OLDING 0ARSONS $EPUTY %DITOR

"ORING #RIME AND SPECIlCALLY THE (UMAN 2IGHTS BILL IS STILL A MAJOR PROBLEM FOR OUR SOCI ETY 7HY OH WHY DO WE HAVE TO KEEP REPEATING IT 7HY OH WHY ARE POLITICIANS NOT LISTENING 7HY OH WHY AM ) FORCED TO RANT ON THE SUB JECT AGAIN 4HEN AGAIN ) LL TRY A DIFFERENT WAY HUMOUR 7HEN ) NEXT HAPPEN TO lND A HOODIE CLAD YOUNG MAN IN MY HOUSE ) SHALL POLITELY ASK HIM IN MY TEDDY BEAR PYJAMAS TO PLEASE LEAVE THE HOUSE QUIETLY SO AS TO NOT DISTURB THE NEIGHBOURS !T THIS POINT THE GENTLEMAN THAT IS MY UNINVITED GUEST WILL DECK ME USING THE & WORD SO MANY TIMES THAT ONE WOULD START BELIEVING HE IS IN LOVE WITH 'ORDON 2AMSAY 2EALISING THAT ) MUST HAVE OFFENDED SAID UNINVITED GUEST ) SHALL APOLOGISE AND POLITELY STRESS THAT THIS IS MY HOUSE AND ) WOULD LIKE MY 46 AND LAP TOP TO STILL BE IN THE HOUSE WHEN HE LEAVES !T THIS POINT MY CHARMING WOULD BE THIEF WILL PULL A KNIFE AND ATTEMPT TO GET RID OF THE HOMEOWNER WHO IS POLITELY ASKING HIM NOT TO STEAL HIS HARD EARNED POS SESSIONS ) MEAN WHO THE & DOES THE HOMEOWNER THINK HE IS 2EALISING THAT ) AM IN DANGER OF GETTING MY TAXES BACK FROM THE .(3 FOR TREATMENT OF A STAB WOUND IF ) KEEP POLITELY ASKING MY OH SO FRIENDLY AND WELL MANNERED THIEF TO LEAVE ) DECIDE THAT MAYBE ) SHOULD ORDER HIM A TAXI AND MAKE HIS JOB OF ROBBING MY HOUSE EASIER ,UCKILY SAID THIEF HAS APPRECIATED THE GESTURE AND ) AM STILL ALIVE THOUGH LEFT WITH A HOUSE RATHER DEVOID OF ANY ELECTRONIC GOODS OR JEWELLERYx

7ILKINSON 4O CONTINUE A THEME FROM MY DAYS AS #ONCRETE S SPORTS EDITOR (ODGSON WAS NEVER GOOD ENOUGH AND NEVER WILL BE )N ONE MATCH *OHNNY 7ILKINSON HAS SHOWED WHY HE SHOULD AND WILL PROB ABLY ALWAYS BE THE %NGLAND S RUGBY TEAM S lRST CHOICE mY HALF

0LEASE SEND LETTERS TO CONCRETE EDITORIAL

UEA AC UK

$EAR %DITOR

2ESPONSE TO ANTI 3EMITISM IGNORANCE LETTER ) READ WITH MUCH DISAGREEMENT OVER #ARLA 2EITER S LETTER ABOUT THE )RON 7ALL lLM !LATAR IN WHICH THE HEADLINE READS PERPETUATING ANTI 3EMITISM PROMOTING IGNORANCE ) TOO WAS PART OF THE AUDIENCE OF THE HUNDREDS THAT TURNED UP THAT DAY $ESPITE VERY BAD WEATHER FOR WHICH OF THE ORIGINAL SPEAKERS SCHEDULED COULDN T TURN UP THE ORGANISERS DECIDED TO CONTINUE SCREENING AND LATER EVEN GRACIOUSLY HANDLED THE DISCUSSION 4HE lLM WAS A DOCUMENTARY PROVIDING AN EXCELLENT INTRODUCTION OF THE SITUATION IN 0ALESTINE PARTICULARLY THE CONSTRUCTION OF THE SEPARATION WALL AND WHAT IT DOES FOR THE 0ALESTINIAN PEOPLE !S THE AUDIENCE WERE WELL AWARE THE AUDIENCE WERE GIVEN HANDOUTS ABOUT THE lLM THE lLM WAS PRODUCED BY THE 0ALESTINIAN !GRICULTURAL 2ELIEF #OMMITTEES 0!2# SO OF COURSE A DOCUMENTARY AS SUCH NEEDS TO TAKE A LINE OF REPORTING !S MUCH AS &AHRENHEIT WAS TRYING TO CONDEMN THE WAR IN )RAQ AND ACCUSE LARGE CORPORATIONS OF ABUSING HUMAN

RIGHTS FOR THE SAKE OF PROlTS THE lLM )RON 7ALL SET TO UNCOVER PLIGHTS SUFFERED BY 0ALESTINIANS DUE TO THE SEPARATION WALL BUILT BY THE )SRAELI GOVERNMENT 4HERE IS NO QUESTION OF BIAS OR ONE SIDED VIEW IN PRESENTING A DOCUMENTARY )F ANYTHING THE lLM SHOWCASED A BALANCED REPRESENTATION SHOWING INTERVIEWS BOTH WITH THE 0ALESTINIAN PEOPLE ACTIVISTS )SRAELI SETTLERS EX SOLDIERS AND THE )SRAELI POLITICAL ANALYSTS -AYBE THE WRITER SHOULD BE MORE CONCERNED WITH THE BIASED ONE SIDED VIEWS IN THE GLOBAL POPULAR MEDIA LIKE NEWS NETWORKS FOR WHICH ALMOST ALWAYS THE 0ALESTINIAN NARRATIVES AND SUFFERINGS ARE COMPLETELY MUTED OR TOTALLY UNFOUNDED AND UNSPOKEN OF 7HERE IS THE HYPOCRISY NOW ) AM GLAD THAT THE lLM WAS SHOWN AT 5%! AS ) CAN NOW SEE THE HYPOCRISY SURROUNDING THE GLOBAL MEDIA AND NOW ) CAN lND ALTERNATIVE SOURCES FOR MY NEWS FEED 4HE PANEL ) FEEL HANDLED THE DISCUSSION REASONABLY WELL DESPITE AS MENTIONED EARLIER BEING UNPREPARED FOR IT !S TO

COMMENTS BY THE AUDIENCE EVERYONE WAS GIVEN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY PRO AGAINST THE lLM TO EXPRESS THEIR VIEWS AT THE END .OBODY WAS DENIED THEIR RIGHT TO COMMENT OR SPEAK %VERYONE WHO PUT THEIR HANDS UP HAD THEIR TURN TO ASK QUESTIONS AND EXPRESS THEIR THOUGHTS 4HE LACK OF THOSE EXPRESSING REMARKS TO THE WRITER S LIKING WAS CLEARLY NOT THE FAULT OF THE PANEL ) WENT INTO THE lLM WITH AN OPEN MIND AND ) CAME OUT STILL WITH AN OPEN MIND ) lND NO FAULT OF THE *EWISH PEOPLE AS A WHOLE BUT THE )SRAELI GOVERNMENT AND THE )SRAELI SETTLERS WHO VIOLATED PEACE AGREEMENTS AND INTERNATIONAL LAWS BY BUILDING ILLEGAL SETTLEMENTS AND THE WALL 4HE ONLY THING THAT HAS CHANGED IS THE SENSE OF DESPAIR ) FEEL OVER THE WHOLE SITUATION AFTER ) LEFT 4HERE IS NO CLEAR SOLUTION FOR THIS CONmICT IN SIGHT TO END VIOLENCE AND SUFFERINGS FOR BOTH 0ALESTINIANS AND THE )SRAELIS NOT NOW AND NOT ANYWHERE NEAR THE FUTURE .OOR :ULKImI 03)

7EDNESDAY TH &EBRUARY #/.#2%4%

) WRITE THIS LETTER TO COM PLAIN ABOUT HYPOCRISY 4HE DEBATE TOOK PLACE THE VOTE HELD AND THE DECISION MADE ) AM OF COURSE TALKING ABOUT THE POLICY BALLOT ON #OCA #OLA WHEN LAST YEAR STUDENTS VOTED TO BOYCOTT COKE 4HE OTHER WEEK STUDENTS VOTED TO REPEAL THAT BOYCOTT ) DON T MIND LOSING HEY ) M GETTING USED TO IT AT 5%! "UT HYPOCRISY ) JUST CAN T STOMACH AND THIS WHOLE PROCESS STINKS OF IT &ROM THE VERY BEGINNING WHEN STUDENTS WERE ASKED TO SIGN A PETITION THEY WERE TOLD IT WAS JUST ABOUT REOPENING THE DEBATE .O IT WAS NOT )T WAS ABOUT OVERTURNING THE PREVIOUS RESULT AND IT WAS DISHONEST TO SAY OTHERWISE 4HE COMPLAINT WAS MADE THAT NOT ENOUGH STUDENTS VOTED IN 4HIS TIME LESS STUDENTS VOTED !RE SIMILAR CHARGES NOW MADE /F COURSE NOT )F PEOPLE WERE SERIOUS ABOUT GETTING STUDENTS TO VOTE THEY WOULD HAVE CAMPAIGNED AND CAMPAIGNED HARD -ANY STUDENTS FELT THE QUESTION THIS TIME WAS CONFUSING YOU COULD VOTE FOR BEING AGAINST OR AGAINST BEING FOR THE REPEAL OF THE BOYCOTT )S THERE EVEN A SLIGHT ACCEPTANCE OF ANY OF THIS .OT A SINGLE WORD FROM THE OPPONENTS OF THE BOYCOTT "ECAUSE ALL COMPLAINTS LAST TIME ROUND WERE BUMPF THE ONLY PROBLEM WAS THE RESULT "EING A DEMOCRAT MEANS ACCEPTING THAT YOU CAN LOSE A VOTE AN AWFUL LOT OF PEOPLE IN THE 5NION OF 5%! 3TUDENTS SEEM UNABLE TO GRASP THIS CONCEPT !NDY (IGSON

TO MAKE #OUNCIL THOUGH RUMOURS PERSIST OF HIM BEING IN THE GRAD S BAR IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING THE #OUNCIL MEETING IN QUESTION ) WAS ALSO TOLD BY THE ,IBERATIONS OFlCER THAT THE MOTION WAS NOW MOOT AS THE REASON FOR BRINGING IT NAMELY SIGNING A PETITION CONCERNING THE COKE BOYCOTT NO LONGER EXISTED ) MUST SAY ) AM RATHER SURPRISED BY BOTH !NDY S RESPONSE THAT HE WOULD NOT BE APOLOGISING !LSO BY THE FACT THE ,IBERATIONS OFlCER HAS FAILED TO NOTE A SERIOUS POINT ABOUT THE MOTION THAT WHILST IT MAY HAVE IN PARTS SPECIlED THAT THE COKE PETITION WAS THE CAUSING FACTOR IT ALSO INSINUATED THAT BOTH %DDIE AND *ENNI AND THE EXEC AS A WHOLE WERE ACTIVELY SEEKING TO UNDERMINE 5NION POLICY +EY ) FEEL IS THE FACT THAT 5NION .OTES POINT lVE MAKES NO MENTION OF COCA COLA RATHER THE TEXT 4HAT BOTH THE %THICAL )SSUES

/FlCER AND THE &INANCE /FlCER FOR SOMETIME HAVE BEEN MEMBERS OF A ONLINE 5%! GROUP WHICH HAS THE EXPRESS AIM OF OVERTURNING CURRENT 5NION 0OLICY 4HIS IMPLIES THAT *ENNI AND %DDIE WERE SEEKING TO OVERTURN ALL 5NION POLICY A VIEW THAT HAS BEEN EXPRESSED TO ME BY NUMEROUS MEMBERS OF THE STUDENT BODY 4HE MOTION AS REPORTED IN #ONCRETE GAVE MANY STUDENTS THE IMPRESSION THAT THE EXECUTIVE WERE OUT TO ACTIVELY UNDERMINE 5NION POLICY NOT SPECIlCALLY THE COCA COLA BOYCOTT BUT 5NION POLICY IN GENERAL 4HE RESULT OF THIS MOTION WAS THE RESIGNATION OF *ENNI #ARTER FROM THE POST OF %THICAL )SSUES OFlCER AS SHE COULD NOT COPE WITH THE SHEER WEIGHT OF THE ACCUSATIONS ON TOP OF EVERYTHING ELSE SHE HAS HAD TO DEAL WITH ) ALSO UNDERSTAND THAT %DDIE 3HIELDS WAS MOST UPSET THAT SOMEONE WOULD SEEK TO

INSINUATE THAT DESPITE HIS HARD WORK FOR THE 3TUDENTS 5NION HE WAS SEEKING TO UNDERMINE ALL 5NION POLICY 4HERE IS ALSO THE FACT THAT THE MOTION DID NOT MAKE AN APPEARANCE AT THE FOLLOWING #OUNCIL MEETING WHICH WAS TO BE HELD BEFORE THE RECENT POLICY BALLOT !S MANY OF MY FELLOW STUDENTS AGREE IF !NDY WAS AS CONCERNED AS HE SUGGESTED HE WAS ABOUT THE 3TUDENTS 5NION THE MOTION SHOULD AT LEAST HAVE MADE A REAPPEARANCE AT THAT MEETING TO HAVE BEEN HELD WEEK TWELVE OF LAST SEMESTER )T IMPLICATED NOT ONLY THE TWO PEOPLE PREVIOUSLY MENTIONED BUT ALSO THE %XECUTIVE BODY AS A WHOLE 4HE MOTION CONFUSED A NUMBER OF PEOPLE AND MADE %DDIE *ENNI AND THE EXEC APPEAR AS IF THEY WERE SEEKING TO UNDERMINE 5NION DECISIONS AND POLICY AS VOTED ON BY THE 3TUDENT "ODY )N EFFECT IT APPEARED AS IF THEY WERE TRYING TO TURN THE 5NION INTO A

#/.#2%4% %DITOR CONCRETE EDITOR UEA AC UK !NNA 3TEWARD $EPUTY %DITOR CONCRETE EDITORIAL UEA AC UK ,OUIS (OLDING 0ARSONS #HIEF #OPY %DITOR CONCRETE EDITORIAL UEA AC UK 3ARAH -ABLEY .EWS %DITOR CONCRETE NEWS UEA AC UK *ANE $OUGLAS $EPUTY .EWS %DITOR 2ICHARD 2EYNOLDS !SSISTANT .EWS %DITOR .ATALIE ,ASCANCE 7RITERS 6ERITY $ANBOLD #ONSTANZE !RNOLD -IRANDA "RYANT &IONA "ILLINGS "EN 7OODS 3AM %MANUEL %NQUIRER %DITOR .IALL "AXTER &EATURES %DITOR CONCRETE FEATURES UEA AC UK +ATIE 'REEN 7RITERS 2OBERT *ACKMAN 4URF %DITOR CONCRETE TURF UEA AC UK (ANNAH .EWTON 7RITER 2OSIE "RADLEY "UNN &OOD %DITOR CONCRETE LIFESTYLE UEA AC UK *ENNY 0ERKS 7RITER 4OM -ORAN ,IFESTYLE %DITOR CONCRETE LIFESTYLE UEA AC UK !NDY *ONES 4RAVEL %DITOR CONCRETE LIFESTYLE UEA AC UK 7ILL 'REAVES

@#ONCERNED 3TUDENT HAS HIS SAY AFTER 5NION #OUNCIL !T 5NION #OUNCIL ON THE TH OF *ANUARY UNDER h-ATTERS !RISING v ) ASKED !NDY (IGSON A QUESTION CONCERNING THE RECENT MOTION HE WITHDREW FROM #OUNCIL CALLING FOR THE CENSURE OF %DDIE 3HIELDS &INANCE OFlCER *ENNI #ARTER FORMER %THICAL )SSUES OFlCER AND ANY MEMBER OF THE 5NION EXECUTIVE hTHAT SIGNED THE PETITION TO OVERTURN CURRENT 5NION POLICYv .AMELY ) ASKED HIM WHY THE MOTION HAD NOT BEEN SUBSEQUENTLY RETURNED TO #OUNCIL AND EXPRESSED A VIEW AMONGST STUDENTS THAT THE MOTION HAD ONLY BEEN SUBMITTED WITH THE INTENTION OF BULLYING BOTH *ENNI AND %DDIE !LSO THAT MANY STUDENTS FELT THAT !NDY (IGSON CO OPTED MEMBER OF COUNCIL SHOULD EITHER RE SUBMIT THE MOTION OR OFFER *ENNI AND %DDIE PERSONALLY AND THE EXEC AS A BODY A PUBLIC APOLOGY ) WAS TOLD THAT THE MOTION HAD BEEN WITHDRAWN BECAUSE !NDY WAS UNABLE

DICTATORSHIP ) AND MANY OF MY FELLOW STUDENTS THUS CALL UPON THE CO OPTED MEMBER TO RESUBMIT THE MOTION TO #OUNCIL 4HE FACT THAT IT DID NOT MAKE A REAPPEARANCE ON THE AGENDA FOR THE lNAL 5NION #OUNCIL MEETING OF LAST SEMESTER OR THE ONE TONIGHT FURTHER IMPLIES THAT IT WAS NOT ABOUT 5NION POLICY BUT THAT THERE WAS SOME OTHER MOTIVATION BEHIND IT )F HE FELT THAT STRONGLY THEN IT WOULD HAVE REAPPEARED )F NOT THEN ) ARGUE THAT IT NEED NOT HAVE BEEN BROUGHT IN THE lRST PLACE !LL HE SUCCEEDED IN DOING WAS CAUSING A LOT OF UNNECESSARY HURT AND UPSET TO MEMBERS OF THE EXECUTIVE AND AT THE SAME TIME MAKE HIMSELF LOOK LIKE A BULLY WHICH FOLLOWING THE REPUTATION HE GARNERED AS #OMMUNICATIONS /FlCER IS NOT SOMETHING HE CAN BE DOING WITH

7RITER :AK +LINE /PINIONS %DITOR CONCRETE EDITORIAL UEA AC UK ,OUIS (OLDING 0ARSONS 7RITERS 2ICHARD 2EYNOLDS 2ACHEL -ORRIS )ZABELLA $EPCZYK 3PORT %DITOR CONCRETE SPORT UEA AC UK -ARCUS *ONES $EPUTY 3PORTS %DITOR 4IM 2IDGWAY 7RITERS +ATRINA 2UMSBY "HAVIK 4HAKRAR 3AM 7ILSON *EMMA 4HAKE $ANIEL 4UCKER !NDY (IGSON -ARCUS *ONES 2OSIE "RADLEY "UNN 0AUL 3ELBY #ARTOONIST *EN -ARCHANT 0ROOFREADING %MMELINE 3AUNDERS 0OLLY ,OGAN "ANKS .ICK 0ULLEN #ATHERINE *ONES 0ICTURE %DITOR 0HIL "ANKS !DVERTISING CONCRETE ADVERTISING UEA AC UK *OANNA ,AMBERT $ISTRIBUTION #ONRAD (AYES

#ONCRETE 0/ "/8

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./27)#( ./2&/,+ .2 4" #ONCRETE IS PUBLISHED BY 55%!3 #ONCRETE 3OCIETY ¥ #ONCRETE )33. ,ETTERS SHOULD BE ADDRESSED FOR THE ATTENTION OF THE %DITOR !NNA 3TEWARD ,ETTERS MUST INCLUDE CONTACT DETAILS BUT WE WILL CONSIDER ANONYMOUS PUBLICATION 7E RESERVE THE RIGHT TO EDIT FOR LENGTH AND CLARITY AS NECESSARY /PINIONS EXPRESSED ARE NOT NECESSARILY THOSE OF THE 0UBLISHER OR %DITOR 5SE OF THE NAME 4HE %VENT IS BY ARRANGEMENT WITH THE COPYRIGHT HOLDERS 0LANET :OG ,TD .O PART OF THIS NEWSPAPER MAY BE REPRODUCED THROUGH ANY MEANS WITHOUT THE EXPRESS PERMISSION OF THE %DITOR 0RINTED BY !RCHANT

#/.#2%4%

7EDNESDAY TH &EBRUARY

30/24

/PINION THE CONTINUING SHAME OF )TALIAN FOOTBALL "HAVIK 4HAKRAR 3EVEN MONTHS ON FROM THE NOTORIOUS MATCH lXING REV ELATIONS WHICH SAW *UVEN TUS BANISHED FROM 3ERIE ! )TALIAN FOOTBALL HAS BEEN SHAMED ONCE MORE FOLLOWING THE DEATHS OF AN OFlCIAL AND A POLICEMAN AT TWO SEPARATE MATCH DAY INCIDENTS 6IOLENCE IN )TALIAN FOOT BALL HAS UNDOUBTEDLY BECOME A GROWING PROBLEM AND LITTLE HAS CHANGED SINCE THE INFA MOUS INCIDENT TWELVE YEARS AGO IN WHEN 6INCENZO 3PAGNOLO A 'ENOA FAN WAS STABBED TO DEATH BY AN !# -ILAN FAN /N 3ATURDAY TH *ANU ARY OF THIS YEAR OFlCIAL %R MANNO ,ICURSI DIED AFTER BEING PUNCHED WHEN TRYING TO SEPARATE FANS AND PLAY ERS IN 3AMMARTINESSE S GAME

AGAINST #ANCELLESE /N 3UN DAY FURTHER @MINOR INCIDENTS OF VIOLENCE FOLLOWED AS A ,IVORNO SUPPORTER REQUIRED STITCHES IN THE HEAD AFTER BEING ATTACKED BY &IORENTINA FANS )N A LOWER LEAGUE GAME A DRUM THROWN FROM THE CROWD HIT A LINESMAN CAUSING THE GAME TO BE SUSPENDED 4HE SECOND MAJOR INCI DENT CAME ON &RIDAY ND &EBRUARY WHEN OFlCER &ILIPPO

2ACITI DIED DURING VIOLENCE IN THE 3ICILIAN DERBY BETWEEN #ATANIA AND 0ALERMO 2ACITI WAS STUCK BY A BLUNT OBJECT AND DIED IN HOSPITAL FROM HIS INJURIES #OMPARATIVELY IN %NGLAND THE PETTY AND UNNEC ESSARY COIN AND BOTTLE THROW ING INCIDENTS UNFORTUNATELY SEEM TO HAVE RE EMERGED (OWEVER THANKFULLY THESE INCIDENTS HAVE NOT RESULTED IN THE DEATHS THAT WE HAVE

HEARD ABOUT IN )TALY )T IS INTERESTING TO COM PARE THE VIOLENCE IN )TALY TO PROBLEMS IN %UROPE S OTH ER MAJOR FOOTBALL LEAGUES 7HILST 3PANISH FOOTBALL IS RECOGNISED FOR THE RACISM THAT SEEMS TO HAVE STRUCK IN RE CENT SEASONS )TALIAN FOOTBALL IS ARGUABLY GOING THROUGH THE SAME PROBLEMS WITH VIOLENCE THAT %NGLAND WENT THROUGH YEARS AGO &OOTBALL HOOLI GANISM USED TO BE AN ISSUE IN %NGLAND AND OUR TRAVELLING FANS SEEMED TO GAIN ATTEN TION FOR ALL THE WRONG REASONS WHEN TRAVELLING ABROAD FOR MATCHES THE (EYSEL TRAGEDY IN "ELGIUM BEING A KEY EXAM PLE (OOLIGANISM WAS ALSO AN ISSUE IN DOMESTIC MATCHES (OWEVER WE HAVE MANAGED TO WIPE OUT THE VIOLENCE THROUGH THE USE OF GREATER SECURITY AND BANNING PEO PLE WHO DON T COME TO WATCH

FOOTBALL BUT ARE JUST INTENT ON CAUSING TROUBLE ) BELIEVE THERE IS MORE TO THE VIOLENCE IN )TALIAN FOOTBALL THAN SIMPLY RIOTING SUPPORTERS )T MERELY REmECTS GREATER POLITICAL ISSUES !N EXAMPLE OF THIS IS THE MUCH MALIGNED CHARACTER OF 0AULO $I#ANIO WHO YOU MAY RE MEMBER WAS CRITICISED IN %NG LAND FOR HIS .AZI FASCIST SALUTE WHEN PLAYING FOR 7EST (AM $I#ANIO DID THE SAME THING AT ,AZIO A RIGHT WING CLUB ,IVORNO A CLUB RECOGNISED AS COMMUNIST IS BOUND TO HAVE PROBLEMS WHEN FACING A CLUB LIKE ,AZIO 3O WHAT DOES THE COUNTRY NEED TO DO TO DEAL WITH THESE PROBLEMS (OPEFULLY THESE RECENT INCIDENTS SERVE AS A WAKE UP CALL NOT ONLY FOR THE FOOT BALL AUTHORITIES BUT TO THE )TALIAN GOVERNMENT TOO 4HE SITUATION HAS BECOME SAD

AS ATTENDANCES ARE DOWN AT GROUNDS BECAUSE SOME PEO PLE ARE TOO SCARED TO ATTEND 4HERE HAS BEEN TALK OF GREATER SECURITY STANDARDS BEING SET AT GROUNDS AS WELL AS A MORE EFlCIENT USE OF THE STEWARD SYSTEM SUCH AS WE SEE IN %NG LAND 7HILST THESE MEASURES SEEM SENSIBLE MORE ACTION NEEDS TO BE TAKEN TO BRING BACK THE TRUE SUPPORTERS OF THE BEAUTIFUL GAME AND MAKE FOOTBALL PURELY ABOUT FOOT BALL !FTER ALL IT CANNOT BE DE NIED THAT SOME OF THE TALENT IS IMMENSE IN )TALY )N ORDER TO DO THIS THE SO CALLED @5LTRAS OF CLUBS NEED TO BE KEPT UN DER CONTROL OR EVEN BANNED &OOTBALL CAN SEEM INSIGNIl CANT WHEN YOU SEE THE DEATHS OF THOSE INVOLVED WITH THE GAME AND )TALY MUST DO ITS UTMOST TO ENSURE THE GAME IS NOT TARNISHED FURTHER

-UDDIED YET VICTORIOUS 7HAT A LOT OF SKIING FUN 2OSIE "RADLEY "UNN )T WAS A COLD FROSTY &EBRUARY DAY BUT PEOPLE WERE DESCEND ING ON 5%! DRESSED ONLY IN THEIR SHORTS AND VESTS 4HIS SEEMING CRAZINESS WAS FOR A SPLENDID REASON THOUGH AS

IT WAS 5%! S TURN TO HOST THE %AST !NGLIAN #ROSS #OUNTRY ,EAGUE 4HE SIMULTANEOUS START OF THE MEN S AND WOMEN S RACES MEANT THERE WAS A GOOD lELD TO ENSURE A LIVELY START BUT THE BUNCH SOON THINNED OUT AND SEPARATED THE BEST FROM

THE REST AS THE COURSE TOOK ITS TOLL 7HILST HARD THE COURSE WAS VARIED AND EVEN DARE ) SAY IT FUN 4HE RUNNERS TACK LED EVERYTHING FROM FROZEN GROUND HILLS AND SOME EX TREMELY MUDDY AND SLIPPERY CONDITIONS ALONGSIDE THE RIV ER TO AVOIDING THE ODD EXCIT ABLE DOG AND PRETENDING NOT TO HEAR THE LECHEROUS COM MENTS OF DEPRIVED YEAR OLD BOYS ALONG THE WAY 4HE 5%! ATHLETES MADE THE MOST OF THEIR HOME AD VANTAGE WITH THE MEN GET TING A COVETED RESULT FOR THE lRST TIME 'LEN 7ATTS STORMED TO YET ANOTHER lRST PLACE CLOSELY FOLLOWED BY #HRIS *OHNSON IN SECOND PLACE #ALUM .ICOL PROVIDED AN EXCITING SPRINT lNISH AS HE HELD OFF HIS NEAREST COMPETI TOR TO RETAIN HIS POSITION AND GET RD PLACE 'OOD PLACINGS WERE ALSO ACHIEVED BY 0AUL 3MART TH 0ETE .EWTON TH *OHNNY ,EE TH AND *IMMY &ITTEN TH 4HE 5%! WOMEN ALSO FARED WELL WITH 3ARAH +IMPTON LEADING THE WOM EN IN WITH A GREAT TH PLACE lNISH *ULIA #ROOK WAS NOT FAR BEHIND IN TH PLACE FOL LOWED BY 2OSIE "RADLEY "UNN TH AND ,ISA 3AMMONS TH 4HESE STRONG RESULTS ENABLED BOTH THE WOMEN S AND THE MEN S TEAM TO RETAIN THEIR lRST PLACE POSITIONS IN THE LEAGUE

0AUL 3ELBY /N &RIDAY TH $ECEMBER WHILST THE MAJORITY OF THE 5%! COMMUNITY WERE WINDING DOWN FOR A QUIET #HRISTMAS AT HOME 5%! 3NOWSPORTS GEARED UP FOR A WEEK IN THE WHITE STUFF IN 6AL 4HORENS &RANCE 7ITH TWO COACH LOADS SPORTING SOME EXQUISITE PYJA MA S 5%! PARTIED ALL THE WAY TO $OVER !FTER A SMALL SNOWFALL ON THE SECOND EVENING WE WERE ABLE TO SKI MORE FREELY 5P UN TIL THEN ONLY OF THE RUNS IN THE 4HREE 6ALLEYS HAD BEEN OPEN AND SKIING IN -ERIBEL AND #OURCHEVAL HAD BEEN PAR TICULARLY LIMITED #HARLIE -AY AND *ONATHAN $UNKLEY THE RESPONSIBLE COMMITTEE MEM BERS THAT THEY ARE DECIDED TO TAKE MANY OF THE GIRLS ON A BLACK RUN AND WATCHED HYS TERICALLY AS ALL OF THEM SKIED DOWN ON THEIR BOTTOMS WITH THE EXCEPTION OF %LENA 0ANTEL LI WHO USED THE SLIGHTLY UN ORTHODOX TECHNIQUE OF SLIDING DOWN ON HER FACE ! HIGHLIGHT FOR MANY OF THE TRIP GOERS WAS THE BEAU TIFUL !LL IN ONE @SPOOF OUTlT DONATED KINDLY BY &ORBES (ENLEY THAT "EN 7OODS WAS FORCED TO WEAR AFTER SKIING OFF A SMALL VERGE INTO A GROUP OF "RISTOL 5NI STUDENTS ON HIS lRST CORNER OF THE ENTIRE TRIP 4HE MAN SEEMED TO GLOW ON

THE PISTE AND ATTRACTED PAS SERS BY OF ALL SHAPES AND SIZES THROUGHOUT THE DAY 7OODS ALSO MANAGED TO COMPLETELY TAKE OUT "ECCA *ENKINSON GIV ING HER A BIG SHINY BLACK EYE FOR THE REST OF THE HOLIDAY 2U MOUR HAS IT IT WAS RETALIATION AFTER WORDS WERE EXCHANGED REGARDING HIS OUTlT 4WO OF THE EVENINGS OUT WERE SPENT IN TYPICAL 5%! FANCY DRESS -OST OF THE 5%! COMMUNITY @REPRESENTED AT AN UNDERGROUND NIGHTCLUB WHICH HOUSED OVER "RITISH STUDENTS $ESPITE THE SURROUNDING COMPETITION CHANTS OF @/H 5%! WERE HEARD ABOVE ALL OTHERS 3PE CIAL THANKS MUST GO TO (OLLY ,AIDLOW WHO RESERVED EVE RYBODY THE RIGHT FOR A QUICK @*AEGERBOMB BY PROPPING UP THE BAR FOR THE ENTIRETY OF THE EVENING 4HE NEXT MORNING FRESH AIR SEEMED TO CURE SOME SERIOUS HANGOVERS AS QUICKLY AS COULD BE EXPECTED AND MANY OF US MADE THE MOST OF THE DAY BY ATTEMPTING SOME OF THE MOST CHALLENGING SKIING YET 5NSUR PRISINGLY THERE WERE INJURIES WITH A BIG STACK IN THE 3NOW 0ARK AS 3TUART -AIR SLAMMED ON HIS #OXICS CREATING A $OMINO EFFECT AS /LI (ARLAND AND *OE 4HOMPSON CAME OVER THE VERGE AND UNSUCCESSFULLY ATTEMPTED TO AVOID 3TUART !PPARENTLY *OE REALLY ENJOYED GETTING A MOUTH FULL OF THE

WHITE STUFF "EFORE WE KNEW IT OUR lNAL FULL DAY HAD COMMETH AND WE THOUGHT IT APPROPRI ATE TO STAGE THE INFAMOUS @VAL LEY RALLY 4HE EVENT WAS RUN WITH GROUPS OF WITH VARIOUS ABILITIES %ACH GROUP WERE GIVEN CLUES TO A DESTINA TION WHERE THEY WERE ASKED TO PERFORM A TASK %XTRA POINTS WERE GIVEN FOR INNOVATION AND NUDITY 4HE EVENT GAVE MANY THE OPPORTUNITY TO SKI BOARD WITH NEW PEOPLE AND TRY SOME MORE CHALLENGING SLOPES !LTHOUGH WE ARE UN ABLE TO MENTION MANY OF THE OCCURRENCES FOR LEGAL PURPOS ES HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE 6ODKA @-ANGINA S 3EE %NGLISH $IC TIONARY TOPLESS SKIING BY MANY OF THE FEMALE COMMU NITY AND A BOTTOMLESS CHAIR LIFT FROM OUR VERY OWN 3OCIAL 3ECRETARY 4OM ,LOYD (UGHES 5NFORTUNATELY ON THE LAST DAY THE WEATHER WAS VERY POOR !LTHOUGH DISAPPOINT ING THIS COULD NOT TAINT OUR MOOD AFTER SUCH A LEGENDARY WEEK &OR THOSE OF YOU WHO FELT YOU MISSED OUT THERE WILL BE ANOTHER TRIP THIS %ASTER TO ,ES $EUX !LPS LEAVING ON -ARCH TH AND IS THE @"53# -AIN %VENT 0LEASE CONTACT SNOWSPORTS HOTMAIL COM FOR MORE INFORMATION 3PECIAL THANKS MUST GO TO ALL COM MITTEE MEMBERS WHO PUT IN A LOT OF EFFORT TO MAKE SURE THE TRIP RAN SMOOTHLY

30/24

7EDNESDAY TH &EBRUARY

"ATTLING "53! DISPLAY IN "ATH *EMMA 4HAKE 5%! #ROSS #OUNTRY TEAM ARE CELEBRATING AFTER TEACHING %S SEX 5NIVERSITY A LESSON IN RUNNING IN THE "53! CHAM PIONSHIPS AT "ATH 5NIVERSITY 5%! S MEN S TEAM EN JOYED GREAT SUCCESS IN THE 3OMERSET COUNTRYSIDE lN ISHING A MASSIVE POINTS AHEAD OF %SSEX 5NIVERSITY 4HEY lNISHED TH OUT OF UNIVERSITY TEAMS WHILE %SSEX LANGUISHED BEHIND IN TH 4HE MEN ALSO lNISHED AHEAD OF 57)# AN INSTITUTION RE NOWNED FOR ITS ELITE ATHLETICS TEAM 4EAM #APTAIN 'LEN 7ATTS HAD A SUPERB RUN TO lNISH

'RIMACE AND BEAR IT .ICOLA -C)VOR STRAINS FOR THE LINE TH (E WAS COMPETING AGAINST A lELD OF RUNNERS WHICH FEATURED THE CREAM OF "RITISH UNIVERSITY RUNNING TAL ENT ! NEW STAR EMERGED FROM THE RANKS IN #HRIS -ARWOOD *OHNSON )N WHAT WAS HIS lRST "53! APPEARANCE FRESHER

-ARWOOD STORMED HOME IN TH POSITION %XPERIENCED COMPETITOR #ALUM .ICOL RAN AN INTELLIGENT RACE TO lNISH IN TH POSITION *OHNNY ,EE WEARING HIS TRADEMARK RED SHORTS IM PRESSED THE WOMENFOLK OF

"ATH WITH A STERLING RD POSITION *OE #ONBOY BATTLED HARD TO lNISH ND WHILE .ICK 0ULLEN DID AMAZINGLY WELL TO COMPLETE THE GRUEL LING COURSE DESPITE SUFFERING WITH EXHAUSTION AND ILLNESS 5%! LADIES WERE OUT SHONE BY THE GENTLEMEN BUT STILL DID WELL TO lNISH TH OUT OF TEAMS )T SHOULD BE NOTED THAT %SSEX 5NIVER SITY COULD NOT EVEN MUSTER ENOUGH FOR A TEAM &IRST LADY HOME WAS SUPER lT TRIATHLETE .ICOLA -C)VOR 3HE HAD A STRONG PERFORMANCE TO lNISH IN TH PLACE 3ARAH !INSLIE WAS NOT FAR BEHIND IN ST 3ARAH +IMPTON DESPITE CARRYING AN INJURY LOOKED IMPRESSIVE IN TH PLACE &RESHER 4ERESA

7ILCOX RAN A DETERMINED RACE TO PLACE ,AST MINUTE ENTRANT AND MINI BUS DRIVER *EMMA 4HAKE lNISHED IN JUST THREE PLACES AHEAD OF *ENNIE (UNT 0RESIDENT AND ALL ROUND GOOD EGG 3TEFANIE 2IPLEY GAVE EVERYTHING SHE HAD TO CROSS THE LINE IN TH 4O ROUND OFF THE TRIUMPHANT DAY OF RACING THE TEAM GOT ON THE SAUCE AT THE "ATH STU DENT UNION 3UCCESS OF A DIF FERENT NATURE WAS ACHIEVED ON THE DANCE mOOR ESPECIALLY BY *OHNNY ,EE #ONlDENCE IN THE TEAM IS RUNNING HIGH AFTER THEIR EX PLOITS IN "ATH 4HE PERFORM ANCE SHOWS MUCH PROMISE FOR THE $ERBY $AY CLASH AGAINST %SSEX NEXT MONTH

/XBRIDGE RECEIVE A POKING AT THE HANDS OF 5%! $ANIEL 4UCKER 4HE TH OF *ANUARY SAW A VERY BIG DAY FOR THE 5%! MEN S FENCING TEAM !T THE BEGINNING OF PROCEEDINGS IF YOU HAD LOOKED ON THE "53! WEBSITE YOU WOULD HAVE FOUND 5%! LANGUISH ING IN SIXTH PLACE IN THEIR DIVISION WITH TWO WINS AND TWO LOSSES FROM FOUR GAMES (OWEVER THAT COULD ALL CHANGE AS 5%! WAS HOST ING FENCING TEAMS FROM BOTH /XFORD AND #AMBRIDGE IN A TRIANGULAR TOURNAMENT 7ITH /XFORD AND #AMBRIDGE PLACED THIRD AND FOURTH RE SPECTIVELY IN OUR DIVISION ONE WIN FROM THE DAY WOULD SEE US WITH A lGHTING CHANCE OF GETTING INTO THE PLAY

OFFS FOR THE "53! TROPHY /UR TEAM OF A MERE THREE FENCERS TEAMS CAN HAVE UP TO NINE PEOPLE IN THEM "EN 2ACKHAM 3TEVE $OMEC AND !DAM &ERGUS SON CAPTAIN IS PROBABLY THE STRONGEST TEAM WE COULD HAVE CALLED ON FOR THE DAY 4HE lRST MATCH SAW 5%! FACE OFF AGAINST /XFORD 4HERE ARE THREE ROUNDS EACH

WITH NINE INDIVIDUAL lGHTS IN A FENCING MATCH ONE FOR EACH TYPE OF SWORD 4HE lRST TWO ROUNDS WE LED COM FORTABLY ONLY TO SEE /XFORD MAKE COMEBACKS IN BOTH $ESPITE THIS OUR FENCERS KEPT THEIR COMPOSURE AND WERE ABLE TO WIN BOTH ROUNDS )N THE lNAL ROUND VICTORY WAS ASSURED AS 5%! TOOK A COM FORTABLE LEAD AND THIS TIME

/XFORD COULD NOT COME BACK 7ITH /XFORD BEATEN THE TEAM TOOK A BREAK WHILE /XFORD AND #AMBRIDGE DUKED IT OUT 7HILE MAYBE NOT AS POPULAR AS THE BOAT RACE THE FENCING MATCH WAS STILL QUITE ENTERTAIN ING WITH /XFORD EMERG ING THE EVENTUAL WINNER 5%! STARTED OFF SLOWLY AGAINST #AMBRIDGE IN THE lRST ROUND SLUMPING TO A MASSIVE DElCIT WHICH AS THE ROUND PROGRESSED SEEMED TO BECOME EVER MORE INSUR MOUNTABLE 7ITH TWO lGHTS LEFT IN THE ROUND THE SCORE WAS TO WITH #AMBRIDGE NEEDING A MERE POINTS FOR VICTORY "EN 2ACKHAM IN THE PENULTIMATE lGHT PUT UP A VERY GOOD PERFORMANCE THAT BROUGHT THE SCORE TO %VEN WITH THIS lNE PER

FORMANCE TO WIN THE ROUND SEEMED NEAR IMPOSSIBLE (OWEVER NO ONE SEEMED TO HAVE TOLD THIS TO 3TEVE $OMEC WHO WENT OUT WITH PURPOSE FOR THE lNAL lGHT $ESPITE SOME RATHER DUBI OUS FENCING BY THE #AM BRIDGE FENCER 3TEVE WAS NOT ONLY ABLE TO CONCEDE JUST A FURTHER TWO POINTS BUT RE VERSE THE DElCIT AND WIN THE ROUND FOR 5%! TO !FTER THIS HEROIC COME BACK IT SEEMED LIKE NOTHING COULD STOP THE 5%! TEAM AND THEY CRUISED TO VICTORY IN THE NEXT TWO ROUNDS TO COMPLETE A SUPERB DOUBLE VICTORY 7ITH THE VICTORY OVER 3TAFFORD IN WEEK THREE 5%! HAVE lNISHED SECOND IN THEIR DIVISION AND LOOK FORWARD TO A HIGH SEEDING IN THE PLAY OFFS FOR THE "53! TROPHY

&OCUS /N THE #HESS #LUB &OOTBALL FAREWELLS !NDY (IGSON 4HE 5%! #HESS #LUB LAUNCHED AT 3OC -ART WITH MORE THAN A DOZEN PEOPLE JOINING 4HE CLUB WILL PRO VIDE OPPORTUNITIES FOR CHESS ON A COMPETITIVE LEVEL AS WELL AS ON A SOCIAL BASIS 0EOPLE CAN JUST PLAY OR LEARN HOW TO IMPROVE THEIR GAME #HESS IS MORE THAN A BOARD GAME FOR THOSE WHO ENJOY IT )T IS A TEST OF SKILL

AND STRATEGY 3OME DESCRIBE IT AS @THE ULTIMATE GAME AS THERE IS NO PERFECT WAY OF WINNING 4HE CLUB HAS MEMBERS THAT RANGE IN ABILITY FROM GOOD COUNTY PLAYERS TO BEGIN NERS SO THERE WILL BE SOME ONE SIMILAR IN ABILITY FOR EVERYONE 5%! STUDENTS AND STAFF ARE MORE THAN WELCOME TO COME ALONG AND HAVE A GAME !S SOON AS THERE ARE MEMBERS THE CLUB CAN AP PLY TO THE 5NION FOR FUNDING AND LATER THIS SEMESTER HOPE

TO HOLD A 5%! TOURNAMENT &ROM 3EPTEMBER A TEAM WILL ALSO BE ENTERED INTO THE .OR FOLK ,EAGUE 4HE CLUB ALSO BOASTS PERHAPS THE TWO BEST PLAYERS IN .ORFOLK IF ANYONE IS UP FOR A CHALLENGE -EMBERS MEET IN THE 'RAD "AR EVERY -ONDAY AT PM AND THERE WILL SOON BE A SECOND NIGHT EACH WEEK IN A NON ALCOHOLIC VENUE &OR MORE INFORMATION EMAIL ANDREWHIGSON GMAIL COM OR SEE THE GROUP S SEC TION ON &ACEBOOK

-ARCUS *ONES 5%! FOOTBALL CLUB CONCLUD ED THEIR "53! lXTURES ON 7EDNESDAY WITH THE ST 8) LOSING AT .OTTINGHAM WHILST THE ND 8) THRASHED "EDFORD 5NFORTUNATELY THE ND S RESOUNDING WIN COURTESY OF AN OWN GOAL .ICK 'ASKELL S HAT TRICK AND STRIKES FROM 4OM 4HORNTON AND 3I MON 'ROVE 7HITE WAS NOT

ENOUGH TO CLAIM THE LEAGUE TITLE AS OTHER RESULTS WENT AGAINST THEM 4HE DAY WAS TINGED WITH EVEN GREATER SADNESS AS FOR AN EXTRAORDINARY NUMBER OF PEOPLE IN BOTH TEAMS IT WAS THEIR LAST EVER "53! GAME 4HERE ARE FAR TOO MANY TO NAME EVERYONE BUT SUFlCE TO SAY EACH ONE HAS BEEN A 5%! STALWART AND HAS CON TRIBUTED IN THEIR OWN WAY TO A RESPLENDANT CLUB SPIRIT THAT WILL HOPEFULLY REMAIN EVEN WHEN THESE PEOPLE ARE GONE

#/.#2%4%

3PORT %DITOR S COLUMN -ISSED THE BOAT 3O #ONCRETE HAS REACHED ITS TH EDITION AND ONE MIGHT HAVE THOUGHT THAT THE SPORTS PAGES WOULD HAVE BEEN THRILLED TO JOIN IN THE MERRIMENT PERHAPS WITH SOME SORT OF COMMEMORATIVE PIECE 7ELL THIS IS NOT TAKING PLACE NOW INSTEAD IT WILL BE IN #ONCRETEgS NEXT ISSUE WHICH WILL HOUSE A GLORIOUS AND GLITTERING COLLAGE OF SPORT AT 5%! 7ITH THE CULMINATION OF "53! lXTURES AND THE IMMINENCE OF $ERBY $AY IT WOULD SEEM TO BE THE IDEAL TIME TO PROVIDE A WIDE REACHING REVIEW OF ALL THINGS SPORTING 3O IF YOU WOULD LIKE YOUR CLUB TO BE PART OF THE FESTIVITIES THEN EMAIL CONCRETE SPORT UEA AC UK AND DETAILS WILL BE DIVULGED 4RUST ME THE SPORTS PAGES MIGHT HAVE MISSED THE BOAT SLIGHTLY THIS ISSUE BUT WHEN OUR BOAT DOES TURN UP ITS GOING TO BE LIKE THE mIPPING 1%

(UMOUR ME ) REALISE THAT THERE ARE MANY INDIVIDUALS OUT THERE WHO lND CRICKET AT BEST TO BE A FOOLISH %NGLISH INVENTION WHICH ONLY PROVIDES MORE OPPORTUNITIES FOR WALLOWING IN DEFEAT AND AT WORST A CHRONIC AND BAFmING WASTE OF TIME THAT WOULD MORE PREFERABLY BE SPENT EXTRACTING A TOOTH WITH A SPOON !ND ) ALSO REALISE THAT ) HAVE MENTIONED IT FAIRLY REGULARLY IN THIS SPACE (OWEVER ) HOPE THAT THE DEFAMERS WILL HUMOUR ME AND ALLOW A BRIEF BASKING IN THE GLORY THAT WAS %NGLANDgS ONE DAY TOURNAMENT TRIUMPH OVER !USTRALIA !FTER THE DEMORALISING DEBACLE THAT WAS THE !SHES THIS VICTORY WAS TANTAMOUNT TO A FEEBLE AND TERRIlED KITTEN TURNING AROUND AND mOORING A LARGE TIGER "RILLIANT AND UNEXPECTED JUST WHAT SPORT IS ALL ABOUT

"AD WEATHER ! BRIEF AND FAIRLY DIRECTIONLESS RANT IF ) MAY )T HAS BEEN RAINING STEADILY NOW FOR WHAT SEEMS LIKE SEVEN YEARS ) WOULD LIKE IT TO STOP PLEASE AS ) NO LONGER WANT TO RETURN HOME FROM A SPORTING EVENT SOAKED THROUGH AND FEELING VERY SORRY FOR MYSELF

#/.#2%4% 7EDNESDAY TH &EBRUARY

5%! +ORFERS HAVE A BALL IN DAY LONG TOURNAMENT

+ATRINA 2UMSBY 4HE ANNUAL 5%! TOURNA MENT HOSTED TEAMS THIS YEAR SOME LOCALLY BASED IN .ORFOLK ONE FROM #AM BRIDGE AND FOUR VISITING 5NIVERSITY TEAMS 3HEF lELD +ENT AND TWO TEAMS FROM 3HEFlELD (ALLAM 4HEY WERE DIVIDED INTO TWO EVENLY WEIGHTED GROUPS IN WHICH EACH TEAM PLAYED EVERY OTHER AND AT THE END OF THIS STAGE THE TEAMS WHO BEST EQUALED EACH OTHER PLAYED

OFF FOR THEIR lNAL POSITION 'ROUP MATCHES WERE MINUTES LONG WHICH MAY APPEAR VERY SHORT IN COM PARISON TO THE STANDARD ONE HOUR GAME BUT IN LIGHT OF THE FACT THAT SIX OF THESE MUST BE PLAYED BEFORE THE lNAL LONGER GAME IT TRANSPIRED THAT THEY WERE QUITE LONG ENOUGH ) FOUND THIS TO BE PARTIC ULARLY TRUE OF MY lRST MATCH AT AS MY BREAKFAST WAS STILL PROCESSING WHILE ) RAN MYSELF RAGGED MARKING A GIRL FROM (ALLAM WHO APPAR ENTLY PLAYS FOR 'REAT "RIT AIN S 5NDER S IN HER SPARE

TIME 7E 5%! lNISHED A RESPECTABLE DOWN RE SIGNED TO THE PROBABILITY THAT SUCH A SCORE WOULD lT WITH THE SHAPE OF THINGS TO COME 5%! FARED BETTER IN THEIR lRST GAME AGAINST +ENT DRAWING AND 5%! WON THEIRS AGAINST A (ALLAM SECOND TEAM WHICH INCLUDED THE MAJORITY OF THEIR lRST TEAM 4HIS VICTORY BODES WELL FOR THE UPCOMING NATIONALS NEXT MONTH AS 5%! LOOK TO EXTEND THEIR "53! DOMI NANCE TO THREE YEARS RUNNING 3INCE 5%! HAD THE SELF GIVEN PRIVILEGE OF ENTER

ING ALL THREE OF THEIR +O RFBALL TEAMS THE CHEERING WAS NOTABLY LOUDER DURING OUR MATCHES THAN IN OTH ERS ! JOLLY NICE ADVANTAGE )T BECAME CLEAR VERY EARLY ON THAT @+NIGHTS MEMBERS OF THE "RITISH .ATIONAL +ORF BALL ,EAGUE WERE THE ONES TO WATCH BEATING +ENT IN THEIR OPENING MATCH AND REPRODUCING THE SAME SCORE LINE AGAINST 3HEFlELD 4HERE WERE MANY FAMILIAR FACES AMONG THE RANKS OF THE .OR FOLK TEAMS STUDENTS WHO HAVE LEFT 5%! AND ITS +ORFBALL #LUB BUT REMAIN EXTREMELY

FOND OF THE SPORT AND APPAR ENTLY .ORFOLK AS WELL 7HILE THIS MADE COMPETITIVENESS SOMEHOW BOTH MORE LIGHT HEARTED AND MORE SERIOUS THE GAME CLOSEST TO HOME WAS UNDOUBTEDLY 5%! VS 5%! &RIENDS WERE FORGOT TEN AND CLAWS OUT ALL S FAIR IN LOVE AND +ORFBALL 4HE ST TEAM TOOK A VICTORY DUE TO SOME IMPRESSIVE SHOOT ING THE ACCURACY OF WHICH IS CERTAINLY THE BIGGEST VARIABLE BETWEEN THE 5%! TEAMS 5%! WON ALL OF THEIR MATCHES SAVE A FRUSTRATING GAME AGAINST THE DEFENDING

CHAMPIONS +NIGHTS 5%! MANAGED A WIN AGAINST 3HEFlELD AND 5%! TOOK PRIDE IN A DRAW AGAINST THE EXPERIENCED LOCALS .ORWICH )CE 5%! lNALLY CAME IN RD LEAVING THE LAST lGHT FOR (ALLAM AND +NIGHTS ! FAST PACED lNAL ENSURED GOOD VIEWING AS THE TEAMS CLASHED IN WHAT BECAME A CASE OF SURVIVAL OF THE lTTEST +NIGHTS SECURED THE TITLE WINNING IN A GREAT SHOW OF AGILITY AND SKILL 5%! EAGERLY AWAIT THEIR RETURN

(ONOURS EVEN IN -EDIA"OWL "53! RESULTS

FOR WEEK COMMENCING TH &EBRUARY

3AM 7ILSON /N A BLEAK RAINY &RIDAY EVENING AT THE 3PORTSPARK ANOTHER ROUND OF THE #ON CRETE VS ,IVEWIRE RIVALRY WAS ABOUT TO COMMENCE WITH A A SIDE FOOTBALL MATCH WITH #ONCRETE GOING INTO THE GAME AS THE UNDOUBTED FAVOURITES DESPITE ,IVEWIRE lELDING AN OVERSIZED SQUAD OF PLAYERS &ROM THE KICK OFF THE TONE OF THE MATCH WAS SET WITH CRUNCHING TACKLES FROM #ON CRETE AND AMBITIOUS SHOTS ON GOAL FROM THE ,IVEWIRE TEAM 4HE DRIVING RAIN MADE IT DIF lCULT FOR EITHER TEAM TO TAKE CONTROL OF THE MATCH BUT IT WAS #ONCRETE WHO DREW lRST BLOOD WITH "RENDAN !PPLE TON GRABBING THE lRST GOAL 4HE SECOND WAS NOT LONG

IN COMING BUT ,IVEWIRE RE PLIED SUDDENLY TO MAKE IT n 4HE GAME STAGNATED SOMEWHAT THEN BUT TEAM #ONCRETE BUNDLED HOME A THIRD AND EVEN THEN THE SCORE AT HALFTIME HARDLY RE mECTED THE DOMINANCE OF THE #ONCRETE TEAM IN THE lRST HALF AND THE MASSED SPEC TATORS FELT MORE GOALS WERE GUARANTEED AFTER THE BREAK 4HE SECOND HALF WAS POPULATED BY A STREAM OF GOALS FROM BOTH TEAMS AS THE WEATHER CONDITIONS WORSENED BUT THE SUPREM ACY OF #ONCRETE WAS STILL EVIDENT AS THE SCORE WITH lVE MINUTES TO GO WAS n 4HROUGH THE USE OF THEIR OVERSIZED SQUAD UNDERHAND TACTICS AND REFEREEING ASSIST ANCE ,IVEWIRE CONTINUED TO BARRAGE THE #ONCRETE GOAL WITH A SERIES OF ATTEMPTS

-EN S BADMINTON ST

.OTTINGHAM ST

-EN S BASKETBALL ST

#AMBRIDGE ST

-EN S FOOTBALL ST

.OTTINGHAM ND

-EN S FOOTBALL ND

"EDFORD TH

-EN S HOCKEY ST WALKOVER AGAINST .OTTINGHAM 4RENT TH

AND A MOMENT OF DEFENSIVE CONFUSION FROM #ONCRETE AL LOWED ,IVEWIRE CAPTAIN !NDY *ONES TO DRAW A GOAL BACK TO MAKE IT n )N THE DYING MOMENTS OF THE GAME AN UN LUCKY GOALKEEPING ERROR LED TO THE lNAL SCORE BEING n #ONCRETE CAME AWAY FROM THE MATCH DREAMING OF WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN AS THEIR COMPLETE CONTROL OF THE GAME THROUGHOUT WAS NOT RE

mECTED IN THE SCORE LINE 4HEIR COMPETITORS WILL HAVE GONE AWAY CONSIDERING HOW THEY WILL COPE IN THE NEXT DECID ING LEG OF THE ONGOING lERCE RIVALRY )N DRY CONDITIONS AND WITH THE SIMPLE KNOWL EDGE THAT THERE IS NO WAY ,IVEWIRE CAN HAVE AS MUCH LUCK AS THEY DID THIS TIME THERE IS SURELY ONLY ONE WAY THAT -EDIABOWL CAN GO

7OMEN S HOCKEY ST

"IRMINGHAM TH

.ETBALL ST

7ARWICK ND

-EN S RUGBY ST

$E-ONTFORT,EICESTER ST

-EN S RUGBY ND

.OTTINGHAM TH

7OMEN S RUGBY ST WALKOVER AGAINST /XFORD "ROOKES ST -EN S TENNIS ST WALKOVER AGAINST .OTTINGHAM ST 7OMEN S TENNIS ST CONCEDED AGAINST /XFORD ST