Missy Heilman

WORDS : ALICIA UNDERLEE NELSON

PHOTOGRAPHY : STACY KENNEDY

HAIR AND MAKEUP : ASHLEY TRAPPEN

Formal Elegance Hair and Makeup

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“By the time they’re in the sixth grade, 80% of girls believe that their looks are the most important part of themselves,” explains BIO Girls founder and CEO Missy Heilman. “And that’s just mind blowing to me. Beauty is subjective, so they’re kind of chasing this elusive standard that’s constantly changing.”

Heilman knew this was much more than an internal struggle. Attempting to build an identity on such a slippery slope has very real consequences for girls — and for the women they grow up to become.

“Research shows that 62% of girls suffer from low self-esteem,” says Heilman. Her voice is measured and her cadence is deliberate, but conviction highlights every word. “I would argue that that is even higher. Self-esteem doesn’t impact a certain demographic. It affects all girls.”

BY THE SIXTH GRADE,

Those numbers gnawed at Heilman — even though it’s almost impossible to imagine her being defined by anything other than her own fierce drive. As she cheerfully lists the way others describe her — “fearless,” “Type A” and “a classic 5” on the Enneagram (driven, intense, focused, visionary, mentally alert, curious, independent) — it’s clear that she doesn’t disagree with these assessments.

The Odin, Minnesota, native has rarely found a challenge she couldn’t break down into parts and conquer. Heilman was a four-sport athlete in high school. She excelled at track and field, which earned her a scholarship to the University of North Dakota. During her time in Grand Forks, she was 400 meter hurdler and ran the 4 x 400 meter relay, was a three-time All-American and earned both a bachelor’s degree in nutrition sciences and Bachelor of Science in kinesiology and exercise xcience and nutrition. She hustled her way to a NCAA post-graduate scholarship, which funded the MBA in business she obtained from North Dakota State University.

Heilman parlayed her educational and athletic successes into a vibrant marketing career, while building a partnership and a family with her husband, Tom Heilman. They’re raising their daughters Olivia (15), Jazlyn (12) and Mila (6) in Fargo.

Back in 2012, she had no intention of being a mentor or running a non-profit organization. But as the mother of girls, the pressures on the shoulders of young women bothered her because she knew she could do something about it. The idea wouldn’t let her go.

“I started dreaming up what this thing would be,” she says simply. “I knew I wanted to provide some skills, some lessons around self-care, anxiety and stress relief, to teach girls and to give them an opportunity to practice kindness. So I approached the youth director at Olivet (the Lutheran church in Fargo where she’s a member) and said, ‘I have this idea.’ And within two days they said, ‘Let’s do it.’ I didn’t have anything documented, I didn’t have lessons written, I didn’t think beyond ‘This would be cool.’”

Did she have time to add another item to her to-do list? Nope, not really. But she did it anyway. And BIO Girls — which stands for “beauty, inside and out” — was born. Heilman’s abstract idea matured into a fully formed organization designed to lift up young female leaders through mentorship, goal setting and service.

“Our mission is the increase the self-esteem of adolescent girls through the empowerment of self and service to others,” explains Heilman. “We meet once a week for 90 minutes for life skills lessons, mentoring and physical activity to increase self-esteem.”

Over the course of 12 weeks, girls in grades 2-6 meet weekly in a group and with a dedicated mentor. They learn and discuss tools and concepts designed to help them set goals, diffuse difficult interpersonal situations and resist peer pressure. The lessons are focused and consistent, no matter which group the girls are a part of.

“There are four tracks,” explains Heilman. “Developing healthy relationships; self-care — there’s a big mental health component to that, dealing with anxiety, healthy ways to release stress; the third track is kindness and compassion; and then the fourth track is leadership.”

The lesson starts with broad strokes in a large group setting. Then three to five girls work in break-out groups with a dedicated mentor to discuss what they’ve learned. The girls keep a journal throughout the experience, processing and distilling the lessons into a strategy that will help them navigate their own lives.

There’s also a physical component to the program. The traditional culmination the BIO Girls experience is a non-competitive 5K. In 2019, pilot programs added yoga and CrossFit to the physical activities selection.

Heilman says that parents often question if their daughter has it in them to complete their training and conquer this particular goal. But the girls prove them wrong every time.

“Every girl who has started the 5K through BIO Girls has finished it,” she says. “Time doesn’t matter. It’s about crossing the finish line and saying, ‘I did that,’ goal setting, accountability, dealing with adversity.”

This combination of hands-on mentorship and long-term goal setting is a cornerstone of the BIO Girls mission. It’s also a combination that Heilman’s seen at work in her own life.