Issuu

W O M E N

2ND ANNIVERSARY ISSUE Celebrating Women of all Shades, Shapes and Sizes

COMPLEXD | 1

EDITOR’S

LETTER ‘As a survivor of domestic violence, I traveled through various corridors of loneliness because I allowed fear and shame to prevent me from reaching out. I battled with thoughts of suicide when I became weary, but I knew I wasn’t alone’ - Jazz Browne – Complexd Woman

2 | COMPLEXD

In this issue we feature sixteen women who are the reason we are able to celebrate two years of Complexd magazine. These women are a small selection of our readers, fans, contributors and link sharers, who continue to support Complexd because they are Complexd! The title of the magazine was born out of the difficulty I had when defining our target audience. As an Editor I mark my success against that fact that the women I set out to target actually exist and every woman in this issue is a testament to that. A Complexd Woman is a worldly woman. She knows about the world because of her diverse upbringing or personal travels. She is creative and passionate about her work and her life and embraces the good and bad as learning curbs. Whether she has had a lot of experiences or has just started the journey, she is forever changing, developing, harnessing her skills and sharing her knowledge. Throughout the pages of this issue there are many stories. Some may interest you, some may not, but I am certain one story will stick out for you. One story will relate to a similar experience you have had and one story will remind you that you are not alone in the struggles and strife’s of life. Kered Clement Editor-in-Chief

COMPLEXD | 3

CONTEN C o m p l e x d W o m e n 2 ND A NN I V E R

Suzanne Sunny Spiegoski

Nadia Huggins

Wadada Movement

Sophie Rae

Jazz Browne

Alex Mozerolle

Terry Irwin

4 | COMPLEXD

Neysha Soodeen

NTS SARY Issue

Editor-in-Chief Kered Clement

Carolyn Cassy Yap

Eva Praskova

Arlene L. Martin

106

110

Mary-Ann

Bhumika Bhatia

Brit Woodland

Sub Editor Darcel de Vlugt Creative Director Rachel Irwin House Photographer Frederique Rapier www.frederiquerapier.com Cover Terry Irwin and Jazz Browne photographed by Frederique Rapier www.frederiquerapier.com

Sarah-Adiana Butler

Sarah Ford

COMPLEXD | 5

UZANNE

UNNY PIEGOSKI

Age | 28 Occupation | Assistant Skating Director at Figure Skating in Harlem/Professional Figure Skating Coach/Photographer Place of Birth | Anaheim, California Current Residence | New York, USA My mother is Korean and my father is Polish. I grew up in Detroit where my environment had a rough touch to it; dysfunction ran wild and violence and negativity were common happenings throughout my upbringing. There were many different cultural backgrounds living in the area, but there were very few Asian families. Because of my physical attributes, I look much more Asian than Caucasian which gave ignorance the fear of the unknown and I was constantly teased and bullied because of this. The family home was tumultuous and conflicted, but my experiences have given me the drive and ambition to always be the best that I am capable of being. As trying as these times were, I always have and always will take pride in where I come from and I take this with me everywhere I go. My parents wanted me to participate in some sort of recreational activity to help build self-confidence and acquire a sense of belonging that usually comes along with being involved in some sort of sport; that and keeping me out of trouble! The first time I went figure skating at the age of 5 was in California in a local shopping mall where they had an indoor rink. I remember when I first stepped onto the ice - I felt so at ease and in control. I felt a feeling of freedom and when I was on the ice; it didn’t matter what label I had. When I glided across I felt like I could fly; I felt like I could do anything and I still feel that way. When we relocated to Detroit, my parents enrolled me in group skating classes and it jump started from there. My passion grew instantly and I had high expectations for myself. I wanted to become the best that I could be and began training and competing. I would get up every day at 4am just to have some practice time before school. Once school was finished, back to the rink I would go, where practice would finish late in the evening. I ate, slept and dreamt of skating. My parents didn’t have much and made ends meet, but they saved every penny just to let me have an opportunity and a potential future and for that I am forever grateful. –

6 | COMPLEXD

COMPLEXD | 7

8 | COMPLEXD

Once I arrived in New York, my artistic side also flourished and I really absorbed the city’s passion and talent for art; but life has a funny way of bringing you to different places. A change of heart was all it took to get to where I am now. I knew from an early age that my purpose in life was to help people in some way and I now enjoy helping young women in a different way. I feel that everyone has had that one teacher, coach or role model that they looked up to and will never forget. These are the people that inspire and persevere with you throughout your life and help mould you into what you will become, which is why I took up the role of Assistant Skating Director at Figure Skating in Harlem and have been with the organization for five years. Figure Skating in Harlem provides inner-city girls specifically based in Harlem with vital educational and skating opportunities that build self-confidence, promote physical wellbeing and academic achievement. Since 1997, we have served over a thousand girls with innovative enrichment programs that link lessons learned on the ice – focus, determination, independence, character development and selfmotivation – to lessons in the classroom and most importantly, in life. Since I first started working with Figure Skating in Harlem (FSH), I have photographed the girls throughout each season. It is a wonderful process and the feeling of watching them tell me their stories through the lens of a camera brings such joy and wonder to my life. The interactions that I have with the students are priceless and I have even inspired some interest in photography for a few of my students. At the end of each season at FSH, we provide our girls with an annually themed ice show, incorporating choreography, costumes and great support from many of our friends and family and those within the skating world. We always do a final number in our show and bring out all of our girls, consisting of nearly 200 of them, back onto the ice. My first season watching this and reflecting back on the entire season and all of the work that had to be done to get there, brought me a sense of unity, love and peace. I felt that I had made a difference, not only with impacting the girls but also within myself. I finally had a deep feeling of accomplishment and within my heart I knew that what I was doing was right and true. –

COMPLEXD | 9

10 | COMPLEXD

‘

I remember when I first stepped onto the ice - I felt a feeling of freedom and when I was on the ice; it didn’t matter what label I had

’

COMPLEXD | 11

â€˜We have served over a thousand girls independence, character developm

12 | COMPLEXD

s with lessons in focus, determination, ment and self-motivation on the ice!â€™

COMPLEXD | 13

14 | COMPLEXD

I am looking forward to having the most important role in my life as a woman in the future, and that is being a mother. I feel that this is God’s greatest gift and women are the creation of life. In November of 2005, I lost my mother to stomach cancer. She battled it for nearly a year, even though it was terminal. Her bravery and courage, along with her belief in the simplicity of what really matters in life, bring me hope and strength every single day. We all run into bumps in the road and struggle through many different aspects of life, but when I do have those moments where I begin to feel lost or discouraged, I think of her and remember what she stands for. I carry her spirit and her words with me always and I also carry a medallion of St. Anthony, the finder of lost things and the patron saint of miracles. This never fails to remind me of the faith that I have within myself, but also the people of the world and that it is possible that there is good in every single person. Lastly, I am an avid fan of Eminem, the well-known rapper hailing from my hometown, Detroit. I admire his brutal honesty, his sense of humour and his lack of shame when it comes to his lyrics. I can even relate to some of the things he’s had to go through, so on a really bad day, I’ll pop in one of his songs and vibe and strangely enough, his voice makes me feel better. It’s like blowing off steam, but hearing someone else do it rather than yourself. I am Complexd because I am a creation of two ethnicities and I grew up in a place where the community was also multi-ethnic. I’m a by-product of my complex and diverse surroundings, which is why I choose to live in a city like New York, one of the biggest cultural melting pots of the world, so I can discover and learn from different cultures. My mother’s only wish was for me and my brother was to be happy. Because of this, I try to make her happy everyday in return. After many trials and tribulations I finally found myself in my own way and I wish that every woman would find their own path in life. I’m an adamant believer in never giving up hope! www.figureskatinginharlem.org Images by www.suzannespiegoski.com

COMPLEXD | 15

16 | COMPLEXD

‘We are Complexd because there are two of us; two Rastafarian twins who are in the battle together’

Photographed by Frederique Rapier

COMPLEXD | 17

18 | COMPLEXD

Growing up, we were lucky to have both our parents until the age of 15, when they divorced. It was around that age that we really started becoming aware of our identity. We were becoming two strong-minded young women and our parents allowed us to blossom. We grew up in a typical middle class family but our parents had no problem with allowing us to walk the streets in oversized jeans with crop tops because we were free to express ourselves. From our mildly rebellious stages with fashion we have always had their support and today, they are still proud of us and what we have accomplished with our label, Wadada Movement. Ayanna has a BSc with honours in Hospitality from Johnson and Whales in Miami, Florida and I (Asha) have a BSc in Aviation Business from Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University in Daytona Beach and Human Factors and Safety Assessment in Aeronautics from Cranfield University in Bedfordshire, UK. Fashion was never in the plans. We were just designing fashionable clothes to fit our small frames. At around the age of 16 when we started going out and liming (hanging out) with friends, clothes became a crucial factor. We were already like 5’7 and only weighing 100 lbs so getting clothes to fit became a huge challenge. We took it upon ourselves to get our own stuff made and used to get our mother to take us into town to pick out material and then straight to the seamstress. We’d go with our crazy ideas and outrageous printed material. We would ask the – seamstress to make some really ‘out there’ outfits like huge

COMPLEXD | 19

bell-bottoms that laced up at the side, but it got us compliments from strangers and friends would even borrow our clothes. It was only in 2010, after many years of doing our own thing that Ayanna came up with the idea of starting Wadada Movement, and I did not think twice. The name ‘Wadada’ means ‘love’ in the Ethiopian Amharic language; it felt as if it was our destiny because we have loved designing for so long. I was already contemplating moving back to Trinidad after 5 years in the UK so it really was not a hard decision. It was a time when Trinidad was becoming more open-minded about the creative industry, so not only was it the correct timing for us, it also seemed to be the right timing for Trinidad. Although we made the decision to start up the label in Trinidad, Wadada Movement was not only inspired by our upbringing, but more by our experiences and travels and our lifestyle as Rastafarians. Collectively we have travelled to South Africa, Egypt, Germany and other parts of Europe and the cultural differences in all these places play a part when it comes to the colours we choose and the style and the fit we go for. The Caribbean as a whole has the maximum influence on our designs, not only because of the weather, but the diversity of cultures present in all of the islands. A mix of Africa, Indian, Chinese and Caucasian culture also plays a huge part in our designs because we want women of all races to relate and feel like they can wear our pieces too. Ultimately, we want a woman to feel like a Queen in our clothes and to exude the kind of sexy that shows assurance and confidence in how she looks. The confidence of a woman can change the world and this is what we – pride our brand on.

20 | COMPLEXD

COMPLEXD | 21

‘ I have someone who I can put my head on a block for and no matter what happens I know she’s got my back ‘

The biggest challenge we faced were the resources to set up our business. It’s a big financial commitment starting up a business and an even bigger one keeping it going. Our average days are long and start at 6am; I work as a Project Manager and Ayanna does Event Management, but as soon as work commitments are finished, it’s all about the Wadada Movement. We believe that if you put out positivity you receive positivity. Our biggest positive energy came in 2011 when we worked with artist Protoje to style his ‘Rasta Love’ video featuring Ky-Mani Marley, which was a great experience for us. This year with we hope to show our second collection at Caribbean Fashion Week and Tobago Fashion Week. We have never participated in a Fashion Week, so that will be a new exciting step for the label. We have never studied fashion business so we are always learning from our mistakes and as a twin it’s nice to be in it together. I have someone who I can put my head on a block for and no matter what happens, I know she’s got my back. I know Ayanna will always stand right alongside me and we’ll battle together and she feels the same. Sometimes people assume we are exactly the same in personality, but we have our different traits. Ayanna is more militant and I am more carefree but when we come together it’s like we don’t need anyone but each other. www.wadadamovement.com/ Portraits by Sabriya Simon

22 | COMPLEXD

COMPLEXD | 23

Portrait by Darby Magill Photography

24 | COMPLEXD

‘I know what it’s like to hate my body, to think I’m ugly, throw up my dinner and abuse myself mentally. I’m not going in there with a mask on; I go in raw’

A L E X MAZEROLLE Age | 25 Occupation | Yoga Teacher, Mentor, Writer, Motivational Speaker Place of Birth | Winnipeg, Manitoba Current Residence | Vancouver, British Columbia My father is Acadian (French Canadian); as a child I never spoke French but would happily sit with my cousin reading French to her, but never understanding a word of it. My father is my closest mentor; he is hilarious and brave and has always fiercely believed in me. My mom had it going on; she is fashionable, elegant and wildly expressive. I appreciate her so much more now than I did at 14. She was my anchor, but God, did I give her grief! I was always the kid making up dances and doing a million cartwheels on the front lawn, so I started dancing when I was 3 years old. To this day, you’d be hard pressed to pull me off the dance floor at a club. Dancing was and is a part of my life. It never crossed my mind that I would do anything else after high school, so I jumped in my car and moved to LA, signed with an agent and started – auditioning.

COMPLEXD | 25

26 | COMPLEXD

â€˜I love hiphop music but I used to feel like the biggest oxymoron driving to teach a yoga class blasting Wu-Tangâ€™

Portrait by Jennifer Perutka

COMPLEXD | 27

‘I wanted to teach young women how to take care of themselves by combining aspects of yoga, meditation, fashion and healthy eating’

One of my most enlightening experiences was teaching yoga to help raise funds for the Africa Yoga Project. The project not only teaches yoga to communities, but also educates them with the skills to continue teaching. It was a beautiful initiative that encouraged yoga enthusiasts around the world to get involved with communities in East Africa. The second experience of enlightenment came when I taught yoga and dance at a camp for girls with eating disorders, but the turning point came when I was sick with a lung infection because I had pushed myself to the absolute limit since my teens. I was exhausted, burnt out and my body just shut down. In the time I took to rest, I was channeling huge inspiration to be the voice for teen girls and how yoga and healthy living can positively affect their lives, so when I recovered I set up Girlvana. I wanted to teach young women how to take care of themselves by combining aspects of yoga, meditation, fashion and healthy eating. When I teach girls at Girlvana I don’t sugarcoat anything. I know what it’s like to hate my body, to think I’m ugly, throw up my dinner and abuse myself mentally. I’m not going in there with a mask on; I go in raw because that is the best way to reach young girls. When I was a teen I looked up to my dance teachers so much that they could make me crumble with a single look, but they didn’t always provide a strong foundation. It was a very vulnerable relationship where I felt weak rather than empowered. I am generally worried about young girls trying to be someone else. We have been blessed with our own talents, beauty and unique gifts but we deny them and we are afraid of them. My aim is to show girls through the website and through the events I run, that here is a young woman living with integrity, embracing her quirkiness and really living at her highest potential. I am not trying to be the best yoga teacher or the best dancer; I am just being the best Alex! I want girls to understand that perfection exists inside of all of us. I have always felt like the ultimate girlie girl with a very old soul. It wasn’t until I started studying Tantric philosophy, the sacred feminine, and exploring the divine aspects of being that I really started owning my womanhood versus being the young girl acting older than her years. At 25, I feel empowered; I have a clear voice and I am not afraid to stand for what I believe in. I make mistakes; I fall down; but I am brave and I acknowledge the beauty and creativity of God. I used to think I had to suppress one side of me to be ‘spiritual’ or ‘yogic.’ I love hip-hop music but I used to feel like the biggest oxymoron driving to teach a yoga class blasting Wu-Tang. Now I have come to really embrace all parts of my Complexd nature. I love fashion, I swoon over poetry, relax to Billie Holiday, meditate every morning, and I am always the sweatiest girl at the party dancing my butt off! www.girlvanayoga.com/

28 | COMPLEXD

Portrait by Darian Wong

COMPLEXD | 29

‘I remember Dad being very excited about my job as a Croupier Bunny at the Playboy Club and Mum being less than impressed’

Terry Irwin Age | 57 Occupation | Complexd Woman Place of Birth | London, Charing Cross Hospital Current Residence | Thornton Heath, South London I was born a Londoner and both my parents were Londoners. My mum was 19 and my dad was 28 when they married and I was born 11 months later. When I was still a baby, my parents decided to migrate to South Africa, so we sailed for 10 days from Southampton to Durban to start a new life. At that time in the 50s, South Africa was under strict apartheid rule, which my parents found very difficult to come to terms with. Laws prohibited most social contact between the races and there was a very clear segregation of public facilities. We were only allowed to sit on the white painted benches in the local park, marked ‘Europeans’ and non-white residents were restricted to specific areas, which made things very hard especially as mum and dad befriended a young couple of Kenyan-Asian descent, who were so close to my family they became known as Auntie and Uncle. The three of us would go visit them at great risk of being caught in the wrong area, which eventually took its toll on my parents, and we moved back to the – UK when I was 6.

30 | COMPLEXD

COMPLEXD | 31

â€˜The cocktail Bunnies were Bahamian girls a and I guess they learnt a lot fro

32 | COMPLEXD

and we learnt a lot from them about island life om us too about life in the UKâ€™

COMPLEXD | 33

‘In 2006 I ended up fighting for my life when another problem occurred with my lung. I have learned to pace myself and accept my limitations’

When I turned 18, I started working in a fashion house in London’s West End as a showroom model and assistant alongside a beautiful Guyanese girl called Marguerite. She applied for a job as a Playboy Bunny at The London Playboy Club, as a cocktail waitress and arranged an interview, which consequently changed the course of my life. I remember Dad being very excited about my job as a Croupier Bunny at the Playboy Club and Mum being less than impressed. Nevertheless at age 20, I began working at the club and initially trained on American Roulette. I learned Blackjack and eventually ended up working in the VIP lounge, overlooking Park Lane and Hyde Park, where all the high rollers played. It was a very exciting job back in the seventies; there was a lot of oil money around and very big action on the games, mainly from players from the Middle East. A lot of familiar faces would visit the club – film stars and sports stars and generally, whenever famous people were in town, they always paid a visit. The wages were good and Playboy put on a very exciting social calendar for the staff; so inevitably it was at the same club that I met my husband John. He worked as one of the supervisors on the games. We got married in 1977 and celebrate our 35th anniversary this year. Seven months after our wedding we had an exciting proposal to assist with the opening of a new Playboy Casino in Nassau, Bahamas. In those times the Bahamian Government would not allow Bahamians to work on the gaming tables so all staff were recruited from the UK or the States. There was also a restriction on the amount of females that were hired so only eight of us Bunnies went to the Bahamas. The cocktail Bunnies were Bahamian girls and we learnt a lot from them about island life and I guess they learnt a lot from us too about life in the UK. We embraced the Bahamian life with ease, working shifts and enjoying the afternoons on the beach, around the pool, going horse riding. On weekends we would take a boat to one of the many deserted islands with a group of friends and a cooler and have a barbeque. We loved the food and the variety, like chowder, fried grouper, rice and peas, lobster and conch salad, and fritters. When I left, I was extremely clued up on the best Bahamian recipes and enjoy cooking Bahamian food to this day. We worked in the Bahamas for three years and left to work in a new casino Playboy was opening in Atlantic City in New Jersey. My husband was one of the casino Pit Bosses and I worked mainly in the salon privé, dealing Baccarat. We stayed in the States for a year and then returned back to the UK to our house, which we’d only ever lived in for seven months, which we still live in today. I became pregnant with twins in 1987 with our baby girls Rachel and Sophie and knew straight away that I would not be returning to work in the casinos. Yet again, I threw myself into my new life and although it was hard work, I loved being the – mummy of twin girls. When the girls were around two years old, I found out I had a

34 | COMPLEXD

COMPLEXD | 35

‘I may have enjoyed the glamorous high life, but playing shop with my little girls cannot compare’ big problem with my lung; I was diagnosed with a lung disease called bronchiectasis, which causes lung damage. It was a very critical situation as I had been living with one lung since the age of 9. I started needing hospital treatment for repeated chest infections and other related problems and was finally referred to the Royal Brompton Hospital where I was diagnosed with a condition known as Primary Ciliary Dyskinesia (PCD). PCD is an inherited, relatively rare condition affecting about 1 in 15,000 people and is associated with an abnormality of Cilia, which are microscopic hairs that beat in the airways to sweep secretions containing bacteria and particles out of the respiratory tract. It affects the lung, nose sinuses, ears and fertility so I wanted to find out everything I could to help myself stay as well as I possible. When I joined the Primary Ciliary Dyskinesia Family Support Group I was able to meet others with the same condition and learned how to prevent further problems with my lung. Inevitably I ended up being on the committee of the PCD support group making contact with other adults or parents of children with PCD and offering advice. Unfortunately, because PCD is a rare condition, many doctors don’t come across it and it can easily be misdiagnosed, so the main aim is to raise awareness amongst medics so that early diagnosis can help prevent lung damage. We fundraise as much as we can and every year we have a family social day so we can all get together and swap stories, advice and experiences. In 2006, I ended up fighting for my life when another problem occurred with my lung. I spent nine days in intensive care and a total of 9 weeks at the Royal Brompton Hospital. I had to build myself up again through an intense course of pulmonary rehabilitation and it took several months before I felt like my old self again. I have learned to pace myself and accept my limitations; I now nebulize four different drugs each morning; I’m on oxygen for around eight to ten hours a day and a ventilator at night when I am sleeping. I do chest physio twice a day and use my exercise bike daily. I try to avoid anyone who has a cold. Sadly, I was unable to return to the job I had enjoyed for the last twelve years, working as a special needs teaching assistant in a primary school, to avoid catching any germs. Despite the daily routine to stay well, and although I do miss working, I am still very much enjoying life. I love sewing and knitting and last year made my daughter’s wedding dress. When I look back, despite some of what has happened I am so glad that I have had such a variety of experiences in my life. I think in many ways I have been very lucky to be in the right place at the right time. I look back on all the things I have done, places I have been to, experiences I’ve had and I feel truly blessed. I have a husband who has been my rock and I adore, we have both supported each other through good and bad. My daughters are now 24 and succeeding in their lives; one is now a talented graphic designer and the other is a doctor. They have both followed their own paths and I wish for them the happiness I have been so very fortunate to know. I may have enjoyed the glamorous high life, but playing shop with my little girls cannot compare. They have always been very proud of their mummy and love to hear my stories. I have the most wonderful friends, some of whom go back to when I was nine years old and that’s what’s beautiful about life, building lifelong bonds. Portraits by Frederique Rapier

36 | COMPLEXD

COMPLEXD | 37

“I was 12 when child marriage shattered all my dreams”

38 | COMPLEXD

COMPLEXDAdvertorial

Join the Plan: give girls more choice At 12, do you remember what your life was like? Were you starting secondary school? Obsessed with pop music or spending time with your friends?

about their future

At 12, do you remember what your life was like? Were you starting secondary school? Obsessed with pop music or spending time with your friends?

Around the world, many girls don’t have the same choices. At 12 years old, Nargis, from rural Bangladesh, was forced into marriage with an older man. Taken out of school, isolated from her friends and given no choice.

Plan is also working with community organisations and state authorities on raising public awareness of the problem – by holding open events, theatre shows and workshops to explain why it is important that girls wait until they are 18 to be married. 1 in 7 girls in the developing world • Bangladesh is one of the world’s will become child brides by the age poorest countries. Almost half of the Every day girls are put at risk of being taken population live on less than one dollar out of school, forced into early marriage, of 15. Some as young as 5 years a day. old. domestic labour, isolation and abuse. But with your help, a girl can transform her “My father decided that I was to be • Two thirds of girls are married by the world and the world around her. age of 18. married, and my husband’s father decided for him. On the day I felt Plan UK is campaigning to help four million frightened. Again and again I felt • The average age for girls to marry in girls in the world’s poorest countries so they Bangladesh is 15. fear, fear, fear. can have the same rights and opportunities that you have. When I stayed with my parents I had • 1 in 3 girls globally are denied a secondary education. freedom. But I can’t live the same An educated girl is more likely to understand way now. Now that I am married I her rights and be a force for change. She’s don’t have any say and I have to abide by what my husband also likely to be healthier and survive into adulthood, and be and my father and mother-in-law decide. better equipped to move herself and her family from a life of poverty to a future with opportunity. I had five close friends when I was getting married. Two are still in school, but three are married. Now I never see my • Just £11 can help a child bride get back into school friends. • Just £5 per month could give a girl in Bangladesh one year’s vocational training Two years after my marriage, when I was 14, I gave birth to • Just £10 per month could provide a girl with a year’s a baby boy, but there were complications after the birth. He school supplies survived for 16 days but then he died. Since then, I have given birth to another boy. By joining Plan’s ‘Because I am a Girl’ campaign you can help girls escape early marriage, stay in school and have I want to tell other girls that the age I got married was not more choices over their future. good for health, for family, for education, for anything.” Text GIRLS to 70099 to give just £2 to help us fight forced Plan has been working in Bangladesh to issue birth marriage and keep girls in school. certificates. Having a birth certificate helps girls prove that they are not old enough to get married. For more information join the Plan at choicesforgirls.org.

COMPLEXD | 39

‘I am Complexd for being unapologetically me and remaining true to that. It’s the many fragments of our simple qualities that makes us unique when pieced together whole’

40 | COMPLEXD

COMPLEXD | 41

‘When I was 14 I was diagnosed with alopecia and by the age of 17, I started losing so much of my hair that I had no choice but to shave it all’ Age | 28 Occupation | Graphic Designer / Photographer / Creative Director of ARC Magazine Place of Birth | Trinidad & Tobago Current Residence | Saint Lucia My mother is of Portuguese descent and my father was half East Indian and half Portuguese. That is one of the most beautiful things about the Caribbean different races and cultures are tangled up in each other. I was born in Trinidad & Tobago and moved to St. Vincent & the Grenadines with my parents when I was 3 years old. I had a pretty normal island childhood, but I suppose a little bit wilder and rougher than the average girl. I spent a lot of time barefoot, riding bikes, playing football on the beach with the boys, boogie boarding with my friends, night swimming, stealing plums and indulging in neighbourhood tag team fights. It was great and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I was never interested in staying at home playing with dolls; it seemed like way more interesting things were happening with the boys and I wanted to be a part of that. I never wanted to be a boy, I just loved the feeling of being a girl doing things only boys were meant to do. Like being a big fish in a small pond. When I was 14, I was diagnosed with alopecia and by the age of 17, I was losing so much of my hair that I had no choice but to shave it all. I went by my friend one morning and told him to just shave off what was left. It was really empowering; I felt free and afraid at the same time. There was a huge shift in the way I saw myself from then on and how others would see me. Coming into my new self and having to face people who didn’t understand my condition was difficult and it took me a while to find the strength to confront it head on. My friends weren’t really shocked because they all knew me to be rebellious so they accepted it as part of my personality. Initially, my family was concerned about people’s perception of me, and how that would affect me, but I think they realized it was something I had to do and face on my own. In 2011, I got a tattoo on the back of my head as a tribute to my father, who passed away in 2006. He had a heart attack one night and we found him alone in his house after searching frantically everywhere for him. Some months before, we had gotten into a huge fight and I had moved out on my own for the first time. We were never able to patch things up before he passed and that situation really shifted a lot of things around for me. In the beginning it was a lot of cynicism, anger, regret, guilt - just a whole spectrum of negative emotions that I had to learn to overcome one by one. With time passing, some of these feelings started to fade and be replaced with positive ones. The situation forced me to confront a lot of things about myself that I never would have before and I realized I had more fight in me than I had imagined. Most importantly, it taught me how to take huge risks in my life and be steady with my decisions. Too easily, the challenge and fear of the unknown can prevent you from doing the things you want. I felt like I had lost a really important part of my life so I had nothing left to lose. I wanted something that I could draw strength from, so the design of the tattoo is originally by the artist Bridget Riley called “Blaze”. My father had translated this imagery into a carnival costume he had designed in the early 60s. The artwork always resonated with me – and I thought it was the perfect representation of strength and honour.

42 | COMPLEXD

COMPLEXD | 43

44 | COMPLEXD

‘I find situations/people that through everyday experience seem basic and ordinary, then I convert the photographs into atmospheric scenes through a digital process’

One morning at my completely uninspiring job, I started designing a magazine cover for fun, using the concept of a Caribbean art magazine and not really thinking too hard about what it meant. When I finished it I realized that this could be something awesome! Something about it felt right and possible. I showed it to my partner Holly Bynoe and the next day we started working on making it a reality. We both knew we wanted to create an object that was modern, clean and just overall stunning. I spent a lot of time researching different designs to see what style would best fit this objective and the type of work we wanted to show. The key thing was to get our logo right. I spent a good month working on the ARC logo trying to settle on the right feeling. I needed it to be symmetrical, slender and sophisticated. Once that was done it was easy to set the tone for the rest of the design. I just knew I wanted to be able to capture the essence of what a modern art publication should look like. We even ended up spending money on the right typeface, something I’ve never done before. I also shoot documentary style photos. I consider what I do somewhat like alchemy, but with images. I try to find situations/ people that through everyday experience seem basic and ordinary, then I convert the photographs into atmospheric scenes through a digital process. Colour, composition and texture play a really important role in my photos. Also the presence of shadows creates curiosity and wonder to the viewer. Sometimes it’s more interesting to not see something than to see all of it. I am always looking for interesting light and colours. There is something really inspiring about seeing

that light flicker between the trees and creep over the street. I find going for a walk in the afternoon really helps shift my mood drastically. I spend a lot of time on the computer and for some reason the lower I feel the more glued I become to it. Taking that first step to get out of my apartment and get some fresh air really helps to clear some of the clutter. Also I find surrounding myself with positive people can make a huge difference. It’s very easy to get stuck in your head and think very unrealistically about what’s happening around you - being around the right people can offer some perspective. There is something very curious about a woman’s body that commands life around it and allows you to move through your experiences from a really unique point of view. I think the connections you are able to feel can be very specific to being a woman. Also, on an entirely different level, I love being able to stand my ground in a generally male dominated field like graphic design and still be able to command the respect deserved purely on the merit of my work. I think shattering these stereotypes is emotionally rewarding as a woman. I also love the body I am in! There is a very warped image of beauty that has been propagated for too long and it has done a lot of damage to all of us. The most frightening thing about it is that a lot of women are oblivious to this damage and think that it’s normal and natural to want to be something other than who they are. No woman is Photoshop perfect; the perfection lies in what was there to begin with. We need to start celebrating what is true and real and be unapologetic about it.

COMPLEXD | 45

46 | COMPLEXD

COMPLEXD | 47

48 | COMPLEXD

Self-portraits and photography by Nadia Huggins www.nadiahuggins.com/

COMPLEXD | 49

‘The liberation that comes from being able to stand naked in front of a mirror and be proud of the body God has given you is hard enough, but thinking it in front of a room full of strangers is glorious!’

Sophie Rae Age | 23 Occupation | Actress/Still Life Model/ Food Stylist Place of birth | Cardiff Current residence | Cardiff, UK I was born and bred in Wales and my hometown lies in its capital city Cardiff. As diverse and colourful as its people, the city always held a mystical charm of community spirit, despite its ever-growing population. The home I grew up in was recently sold but I am still so attached to it. Unfortunately, being a child of divorce, my sister and I experienced great sadness under the same roof that gave us so many joyous memories. I call Cardiff ‘home’ because it’s where my family is and where my faith still lies. Last year I nominated my dad to carry the Olympic torch for Cardiff. Dad has worked relentlessly for the Sports Council of Wales for over 27 years. He has provided support and outstanding facilities to a number of athletes, many of whom are Olympic and Paralympic hopefuls, looking to represent Great Britain in the Olympics this year. My dad’s passion and commitment to his job is one of the reasons for him being such a wonderful father. My older sister Victoria and I are always astounded by his unwavering support and endless commitment to our wellbeing. His laugh is infectious and everything he has, he shares with us. I felt that nominating him was one small way of trying to show him how much we love and appreciate him. As an actress, my schedule and average day changes so frequently sometimes I long for a nine-to-five routine! Regardless of when the day starts, I have always been an early bird. I feel immense guilt staying in bed past 9am; unashamedly I’ll say it’s because the prospect of breakfast is what normally gets me up. I’m a self-confessed ‘foodie’ to – the point that I always plan my meals ahead.

50 | COMPLEXD

COMPLEXD | 51

I would love my acting background to be an exciting tale of a theatrical toddler, who always knew she was meant to be on the stage. Sadly, having been bullied through most of my academic life for being too smart, eager and keen, I found it easier to change my character, until the creative flower in me had well and truly blossomed. The excitement, fear and adrenaline of being someone else for that fleeting moment gives me a high like nothing else and on stage, or in front of a camera is when I feel most alive. Having made the decision to move to London to give it my best shot, I am now facing the daunting realization of the fierce competition, but I am proud of myself for moving to London and supporting myself independently to pursue acting. I was warned of the empty promises the Capital had hidden away so I came wearing a shield of armour and a graduate interest free overdraft to boot! Yes, the competition is tougher but the opportunities are endless and I love not knowing what each day will bring me. I work hard to provide for my choices and although I sometimes I stress about the financial burdens London puts on me, the people I have welcomed into my life and freedom I have experienced reminds me to keep facing my fears head on. When I’m out and about, attending auditions or rehearsals, I love to dress for my curves and find great pleasure in being creative with accessories. My style has evolved over the years from frumpy teenager to 1940s bombshell, so I embrace my figure by wearing lots of dresses and bright colours. I’ve had a love/hate relationship with my body for a long time. Diets have come and gone, but it wasn’t until I went to university and saw the plethora of figures, shapes and sizes that women come in that I started to appreciate my 40-34-40 measurements which make a perfect hourglass. Now I have no problem sharing it with others so I recently started life modelling as a moneymaking scheme while I study and audition. I remember my first sitting very clearly, namely because a fellow student who I knew was sat opposite me drawing my breasts! The liberation that comes from being able to stand naked in front of a mirror and be proud of the body God has given you is hard enough, but thinking it in front of a room full of strangers is glorious! Life modelling has given me a confidence and self-assurance that allows me to stand tall with shoulders back and head held high. In today’s society we are constantly reminded of our faults, bombarded with perfect bodies in every magazine, billboard and film, but the truth is, real women can’t hide behind airbrushing. Very few women can honestly describe their own figure, but I could tell you every dimple, lump, bump and curve that I am made up of and I have the paintings to prove it! Before university, I decided to take a gap year to travel and randomly pinned my needle on Fiji. Dreams of white sandy beaches, glorious balmy heat and friendly locals who wore coconut shells were some of my many expectations. The actual reality of my time there was far more humbling and has stayed with me long after my tan faded. I was – placed in a children’s home aptly named ‘Rainbow House’.

52 | COMPLEXD

COMPLEXD | 53

‘I am Complexd because I am unique and my two different-coloured eyes remind me of this everyday!’ The tired building was home to 27 orphans including 3-monthold babies who had been abandoned in the streets. Ruled by the eccentric ‘baba’ (the mother of the home), the house and its children welcomed me into their hearts with such acceptance and adoration that not even the cockroaches keeping me company in bed scared me away! My time in Fiji with the orphans taught me how to open my heart to those around me, with no fear of pain, to never lose my faith or question its presence and to ask honestly for help when times get too hard. I took 2 mountainous backpacks with me to the island, naïvely crammed with as many sarongs, bikinis and dresses ready for my sunbathing days. When I returned home 4 months later, I landed in Heathrow with nothing more than the clothes on my back and my passport in my hand. I left them everything. It hardly seems sufficient payment for what they gave me in return. Being a woman in today’s society means something so completely different than in previous generations. Today I am strong, independent and happy to be in my own company and despite being in a loving long-term relationship, I feel a complete sense of self-power that has come with time and experience. As a woman, I still strive for equality, respect and adoration from the opposite sex. And I feel no shame in wanting more for myself, to constantly challenge people’s perceptions and misconceptions of the ‘dainty’ female. When female genital mutilation still exists as a cultural practice, marital rape is overlooked as a duty and being stoned to death is considered an appropriate death sentence, I am disgusted that this cruelty still exists and I always remind myself that I am lucky to live in a place where sexist prejudice will not hold me back. Our greatest failing would be to bring up our younger generation with the same warped, self-deprecating attitude that has been cast over us. When I laugh, I cackle without any inhibitions. When I cry, I howl with such pain that I’m sure my heart will break. But I allow my body to experience that great joy, sadness, pleasure and sensuality that I feel men cannot connect with on such a level. These emotions will mould and shape me into the woman who will carry me through my life. My future holds so many possibilities, but in honesty, I have no other life ambition than to be happy and healthy. I will take every risk, accept every challenge and experience everything that comes my way and open all the doors that I am given the key to. Portraits by Frederique Rapier

54 | COMPLEXD

COMPLEXD | 55

Ja z z Browne Age | 47 Occupation | Interim Chief Executive Place of Birth | Isleworth, West London Current Residence | North West London

I’m a Black British Caribbean native with parents of St Kittian heritage. Both my parents raised me until they divorced when I was ten, but as children we were raised to take collective responsibility for each other. If one of us did something wrong, we all had to deal with the consequences, but if anyone had a dispute with one of us, then they had to deal with all of us. Those values still operate between us today. I am fiercely protective of my brothers and sisters; personally it governs the way I think about community life. Over 11 years ago, I applied for a job working with members of the community and what initially started out as a two-year contract in 2001 established my career in the voluntary sector. In my early career I worked primarily with refugee and black minority ethnic groups who were providing much needed intervention and support services for their communities from their own homes. I worked closely with those groups assisting them with their infrastructure, development plans, fundraising strategies and setting them up as charities. While meeting and connecting with people from all walks of life, I discovered that I loved working with older people and that led to my role as a development worker that focused on giving older people from African, AfroCaribbean and Asian communities a voice in local decision-making processes. It was a real eye-opener seeing the lack of equality or understanding regarding the needs of older people. It was disheartening and challenging to see our elders shrinking within statutory service provision and watching their needs being systematically ignored. It was at this point I found myself in a campaigning and advocacy role as my passion for equality and social justice had been re-ignited and I started working for a charity called Nubian Life, which supports the elderly within the community. I consider it to be an honour, to be allowed into the almost intimate parts of their lives and to be able to solve a problem on their behalf and see the anxieties fade from their eyes and to hear the relief in their voice. It’s hard to describe but it’s a good feeling seeing the smile on a person’s face and knowing that they are going to be ok. I cannot pinpoint one thing that I am most passionate about campaigning for, – but I have an overall passion to make whatever is wrong in a person’s life better.

56 | COMPLEXD

COMPLEXD | 57

‘As a survivor of domestic violence, I traveled through various corridors of loneliness because I allowed fear and shame to prevent me from reaching out. I battled with thoughts of suicide when I became weary, but I knew I wasn’t alone’

58 | COMPLEXD

COMPLEXD | 59

Since 2007, I have been working with rural communities in Gambia and supporting villages to build and develop the resources they need. I did a parachute jump in 2008 to raise funds for the refurbishment of a medical centre and within 11 days, villagers were able to lower the foundation in the building, so that air could circulate throughout and build an internal wall, creating a general clinic space and a six-bed ward. The medical centre is progressing well and there is now a nurse onsite. In Wellingara, we were able to build a wall around a school that was next to a rubbish dump so that the children could have a safe playground. It was the same elders I supported from Nubian Life charity that also raised the funds for this project after we took 27 of them on a trip in 2007. In January this year, I visited two orphanages where the boys were sleeping on crates in the open air and the girls on concrete floors in a room with a ceiling made out of Hessian bags. I was so stunned that I was numb for a few days. I have seen poverty that has made me cry, vomit and lose my appetite, but everyone close to me knows I have always hurt for this world. I have always known that there were things very wrong with this world before I could understand what was happening on the news. My heart hurts because I know that what I have seen and experienced is not even a fraction of the poverty that exists in this world. The only beautiful thing about these circumstances is that we can all do something about it. We may not be able to change the world but we can make a difference.

‘Our identity is our womanhood and as such, the celebration begins with us, accepting each other, our shapes, our shades and our sizes’ Apart from this beautiful body I dwell in, I appreciate our capacity as women to love and endure. When I say endure I don’t mean accepting or tolerating suffering, but the indescribable ability to love through our past circumstances; knowing that we may never meet someone with the same capacity or experience but intrinsically as women we know that we are not alone. As a survivor of domestic violence, I traveled through various corridors of loneliness because I allowed fear and shame to prevent me from reaching out. I battled with thoughts of suicide when I became weary, but I knew I wasn’t alone. The Holy Spirit was in my thoughts, overriding my emotions so that I could find that capacity to love beyond my experiences to enable me to survive, heal and then continue to create in life’s cycles. The journey is getting to that point of understanding. I believe that as women we need to genuinely affirm each other, beyond media and cultural imaging. Our identity is our womanhood and as such the celebration begins with us, accepting each other, our shapes, our shades and our sizes.

60 | COMPLEXD

Portraits by Frederique Rapier

COMPLEXD | 61

62 | COMPLEXD

‘I am Complexd because I am memorable! I was diagnosed with Stage 3 cancer at the age of 24… When the time came when I thought I was going to die; I thought to myself, ‘What would they say in my eulogy?’ and the answer was… nothing. I had accomplished nothing at all. I had finished university without making any top student list and I had modelled in Europe without saving a penny. I had made no dent in this world and would be forgettable; that thought gave me a reason to live!’

Neysha Soodeen Age | 41 Occupation | Publisher Maco Magazine Place of birth | Trinidad Current residence | Barbados

I was raised in a non-traditional Indian family; my mother’s side was Hindu and father’s family was Catholic. Both sides of the family were quite well off and were always fighting amongst each other so my parents decided to leave the ‘boxing ring’ early and settle in Barbados to lead a quiet and humble life. I am a true island girl at heart and pretend to be nothing more. I started my publishing house Toute Bagai with a back of the napkin business plan, and a secured overdraft facility to help pay for my first print run. Back then, advertisers were not used to paying for glossy magazine ads and they kept comparing my rates to newspaper ad placements so I spent the first two years trying to educate my advertisers about the advantages of advertising in a glossy magazine. In 1999 when I started the company and launched the first issue of Maco magazine, there were no Caribbean lifestyle magazines, just travel magazines. There was not one magazine produced in the Caribbean that was retailed regionally and internationally. The only successful magazines at the time were island-specific, focused on one island, or the in-flight magazines of the various airlines, which hopped from island to island. I wanted to show the world that there was a more sophisticated side to living on the islands and there was no other magazine showcasing Caribbean lifestyle, our food, homes, gardens, jaunts and haunts and that we were not just all sand, sea and margaritas. I was sent away to boarding school in Toronto at the age of 15. I went to university in Ottawa and then moved to Milan, Italy before I returned to Barbados. From my travels I realized that Barbadians were emulating everything foreign; they were making their cheesecakes with strawberries and longed to have a vase of roses or lilies on their tables. There was no appreciation of what we had in the Caribbean and I assumed it was because it was never presented in a sophisticated fashion. I wanted to show our people that what we had in our backyards was unique and stylish and wanted by the rest of the world. The magazine is now coveted by the diaspora who need their Maco as their navel string to their island. It is used by residents for decorating and culinary ideas and– is a great marketing tool for the region as the magazine is retailed internationally.

COMPLEXD | 63

The Caribbean is not a heavy advertising region, and thus, magazine publishing has always been a fight; the longer we linger in this recession the more advertising is down, retail sales of magazines are down, which is why there is a shift from print to digital. But we have survived and have since inception, publishing a new title almost every year for the past 13 years. The more Maco became a brand, the more business was outsourced to me and I had companies that wanted me to publish their magazines for them. I failed English and never studied Business but it was my Criminology degree that equipped me for the crazy world of business, more so than colleagues who had MBAs. Itâ€™s amazing what I can foresee in business dealings and in people who I work with and for. Being an entrepreneur is a burning desire in your soul and that fire never burns out. Setting up my own business has brought me an entire world of possibilities and opportunities. After setting up the publishing company, I realized that there were no regional magazine distributors so I had to form relationships with retailers across the Caribbean. An international distributor soon picked up Maco and I started another company called Moving Magazines, which helped other local publishers distribute their product. I also have been asked to host a number of international Travel TV shows; because of the magazine I came to be seen as the authority on Caribbean lifestyle. I got involved in more lifestyle events in the Caribbean and produced and launched the first food and rum festival which has taken really taken off and sparked the trend for food and rum festivals on 7 different islands. My little publishing company has changed me forever, given me a platform to do so many other things, and literally spread my wings. I love what I do because it allows me to be creative. When the time comes, I know where to go to have my memoire published! I also absolutely love being a mother! The Caribbean is very patriarchal so women have to fight even harder to get to the top. I could lie and say that I love how nurturing we are, which we are, or how caring, understanding and gorgeous we are but in the business world, it sucks! I do, however, have to admit that it has been my female charm that has wooed so many of my male advertisers to support the magazines over the years. Everyone in the Caribbean knows that the â€˜Maco chicksâ€™ (as we are called) are gorgeous, self assertive, sexy and smart. No man has a chance once my advertising sales team enters his office. At the end of the day we hold the power! The women who rise to the top very rarely do this with the unwavering, undying support from their husbands; we may give them some credit in public to make them feel less guilty, but working women work very hard days, to race home and throw off their suit and throw on their apron, feed kids, do homework and tidy up before retiring to their beds. When kids and husbands are sick, most women deal with their patients and still have the capacity to work. We are multi-taskers. Women need to understand that they own the space below their feet. No matter who owns the house, we have a power men are scared of. www.macomag.com/

64 | COMPLEXD

COMPLEXD | 65

E v a Age | 32 Occupation | Systems Engineer/Photographer Place of Birth | Czech Republic Current Residence | Malaysia

66 | COMPLEXD

P rasko

rasko v a

COMPLEXD | 67

I grew up in Czech Republic when it was communistic and called Czechoslovakia. Everything that was aired or published was under the strict control of state, so from an early age I learnt that nothing could kill the creativity in people. There was an underground cultural scene that was bubbling up and it was even more exciting because it was illegal. I remember attending the Velvet Revolution in Prague in1989 with my mum; it was an exciting time and I am very grateful that I grew up in this regime because, as bad as it was, it gave me a deeper appreciation of freedom. I believe that everything you experience in your life is an opportunity to learn something and bad experiences teach you more about the world and yourself than the good. At the age of seventeen, I was beaten up by skinheads for defending a friend who was being racially harassed. The pain I endured showed me that I had more courage then I thought I had and, as strange as it sounds, I am thankful for it and for everything bad that has ever happened to me because it has made me the person I am. I choose to take a cynical outlook on my suffering because itâ€™s what lifts me up. When I get knocked down and I feel like I canâ€™t carry on, the cynical side of my brain talks me out of my pathetic state of mind and it gives me a realistic perspective on the situationâ€“ and reminds me that there are people worse off than I am.

68 | COMPLEXD

‘When I get knocked down and I feel like I can’t carry on, the cynical side of my brain talks me out of my pathetic state of mind and it gives me a realistic perspective on the situation and reminds me that there are people worse off than I am’

COMPLEXD | 69

70 | COMPLEXD

Iâ€™m a systems engineer for Unix and Windows Server Solutions in a global data centre for an international company. I studied Psychology and Philosophy. I got my very first computer when I was twenty and after trying to fix a technical breakdown, I became fascinated by technology. I was never formally trained in IT, so it proves that sometimes experience and passion for constant improvement is more important in an industry that is vast and ever- changing. Thanks to my Job I am able to travel a lot and work on my Photography. I am currently travelling around the world reconnecting with friends and meeting new people. Travelling has enriched my life and made me more open-minded; it has taught me that it is important to discuss and debate but not to impose your views on others. I am a Complexd combination of creative, technical, emotional and logical. I believe that it is important to teach future generations the importance of equality but we shouldnâ€™t strive to be like men, we should strive to be recognized for being women, for our strength, our minds, our thoughts and our amazing capabilities. Self-portraits by Eva www.flickr.com/photos/eweliyi/

COMPLEXD | 71

72 | COMPLEXD

Arlene L. Martin Age | 36 Occupation | Fashion Designer/ Strategy and Business Development Consultant Place of Birth | Montego Bay, Jamaica Current Residence | Jamaica

I love my country and culture so much and I’ve always dreamt of being a success story for Jamaica. My three sisters and I spent a lot of time driving to and discovering new places in Jamaica on weekends and staying with my grandparents in Bunkers Hill, Trelawny. I wouldn’t change a thing about my upbringing because it is the one thing that shaped the vision I had for my label DrennaLUNA. In fact one of my collections was inspired by the tourist hotspot Negril that we enjoyed visiting. I have always loved fashion and from a young age I wanted to be a fashion designer. I had a soft launch of my label in 2009 at Caribbean Fashion Week and officially launched in 2010. There were many challenges but I have steadily overcome them because I am always adapting and learning through my business. My label is my creative outlet but I think of it as building an enterprise rather than just designing clothing. I never lose sight of the vision - the big dream - and I know that every road has ups and downs, so it is quite easy to pick up and brush off while learning a valid lesson. The LUNA in DrennaLUNA means ‘moon’ in Spanish. A full moon reflects the whole, but a crescent moon shows as little as 3% of it. The moon is still whole but the shadowed portion creates the crescent. I keep that in mind, knowing that even if I feel like a crescent I am whole. Most mornings I wake up at 5:30am. I like to pay attention to my spirit first by reading something inspirational or the Bible because I feel it is important to be grounded before I get the day going. I am forced to live a healthy lifestyle so I drink blended fruits as well as a blend of oats, flax seed, banana and almond milk. I then have a light breakfast and a regular lunch with snacks in between. My eating is based on my high cholesterol and low blood pressure to avoid migraine triggers. I style myself based on the day ahead, if I have to go into the office, then it’s corporate, but typically I dress business casual/ chic corporate. My business attire is hardly fashionable - a bit reserved actually, simply because I don’t want to distract. I spend most of the day at work consulting and working on the business side of fashion. I try to exercise in the evenings by doing lunges and push-ups but all in all I much prefer the days when I can work from home.–

COMPLEXD | 73

‘The LUNA in DrennaLUNA means moon in Spanish. A full moon whole, but a crescent moon shows as little as 3% of it. The moon but the shadowed portion creates the crescent. I keep that in m that even if I feel like a crescent I am whole’

74 | COMPLEXD

n reflects the n is still whole mind, knowing

COMPLEXD | 75

When it comes to my label I bear in mind that although I am operating in Jamaica, once it is electronic then I am operating in the world. I need to reach the right people, which is why I put a lot of thought into branding, imaging, PR and management. It is not a hobby; it is not a part-time gig. I dream of building a solid international business and I treat it as such. I am a creative person who pursues her creative passions, but at the same time Iâ€™m quite business-minded and enjoy consulting and doing development work with strong interest in national and economic development. In the near future, I see myself having achieved another of my milestones for DrennaLUNA. Being a part of the global fashion world by my participation in the Caribbean Collections showcase during London Fashion Week and the possibilities that I am able to now pursue is extremely motivating.

76 | COMPLEXD

There are a lot of professional women running their own business in Jamaica, so I am definitely not part of a minority. I am so honoured to be a woman because I think there are special responsibilities that come with my gender. We exist in so many shapes and sizes and no matter what our shape and size we should honour exactly who we are physically via our clothing. It is one of the reasons why my designs usually donâ€™t have many details, but simple silhouettes instead, because the aim is to accentuate the form of the woman and not overpower or distract from her true beauty. www.drennaluna.com

COMPLEXD | 77

78 | COMPLEXD

â€˜I design simple silhouettes to accentuate the form of the woman and not overpower or distract from her true beautyâ€™

COMPLEXD | 79

Age | 35 Occupation | Funeral Arranger Place of Birth | Scotland Current Residence | Kent My father was a firm nationalist so to ensure I was born in his homeland, him and my mother, who was eight months pregnant with me at the time, hitchhiked back to Scotland. After my parents split, my father became a wanderer, travelling around Britain and Europe sleeping in his van. That was of course until it broke down and he gave it a Viking funeral by setting it on fire. He had his own ideas about life I have definitely inherited that about him. My mother held the family together and gave my sister and me stability. Both my loving parents encouraged us to achieve anything we set our minds to. I lost my father in 2004; he was only 52 and it was a crushing blow for me, so I didn’t deal with it very well. I would go out every night to numb the pain until a friend mentioned a charity called Cruse Bereavement that offered free counseling. It helped me enormously, not only personally but also professionally when working with families in my role as a funeral arranger. I meet with bereaved families to help them through all the planning and paperwork that needs to be arranged when a relative dies. Initially I was looking for a role that would give me the flexibility to raise my daughter and, as grim as it may sound, I really enjoy my job. It can be very challenging but everyday is different as every family is different. Everyone deals with death in a different way, some people want to be alone, some want a shoulder to cry on, so I take my lead from them and act accordingly. It can be very hard, especially if a child has died, but families rely on funeral arrangers to be professional and hold it together at the most difficult times. I find it very rewarding to be able to assist in giving people their final wishes and, like any other job, there are career opportunities such as becoming a funeral director, which is a title traditionally dominated by men. There has been a steady increase in women moving up in this area. It helps that women have a great degree of emotional intelligence when it comes to reading people. Now that we won’t be frowned upon for doing certain jobs, as we would have been 50 years ago, women like myself are more daring with the opportunities available to us. Women have so much to give the world, yet they are still undervalued and, in some countries, considered worthless. Education is the key and there are little pockets of women fighting against the tide in various places around the world. One woman that has personally inspired me is Sampat Pal from Southern India. Sampat founded ‘Pink Saris’, a group that fights for women’s rights in the community. Women are incredible. Without us human life would not exist and we should never forget that! In my role it’s important to think positive, but I am human and I sometimes question my own mortality. I’ve often found myself thinking at ridiculous hours of the morning: ‘Heaven sounds great… but is that it for all eternity?’ It does pass and I always go back to accepting that with life there is death, and that we must all make the most of our time here. Portraits by Luke Yates www.wayaheadphotography.com

80 | COMPLEXD

COMPLEXD | 81

â€˜I am Complexd because I have grown to appreciate over the years that if I wake up in a warm bed with food in the cupboards and coffee on the ring, everything else that happens that day is a blessing; and I thank God that I am a very lucky womanâ€™

82 | COMPLEXD

COMPLEXD | 83

84 | COMPLEXD

humika hatia

Age | 22 Occupation | Photographer Place of Birth | Bombay, India Current Residence | Gurgaon, India My childhood dream was to become an astronaut. I have always been fascinated with science - trips to the science exhibition, planetariums, dinosaurs, UFOs and things that leave me spellbound. But I am positive that I will go to NASA one day and photograph our beautiful Earth from outer space. I discovered my love for photography in the back seat of my cousin’s car. It was about to rain and the weather was amazing and it felt good to capture that natural beauty. There are many mysterious places on this earth we are not aware of and my aim is to photograph them, whether it is an object, place or feeling and share it with everyone. The one thing I can do is believe in myself. I know there are a lot of obstacles but I am very determined. When I started out, I was criticized for being different. A lot of people disapproved of my style of photography; they said to me that it wouldn’t work out and that I should leave photography alone and pursue something else. But I never listened to them. I stuck to my style and over 30 magazines across the globe seem to have liked it. I remained patient, refined my skills and pushed my work out there. My work was exhibited at Paris Fashion Week and in Selfridges London as a part of the Jimmy Choo Project. I shot for the Reebok Junior 2011 Look Book and this year I was featured in Cosmopolitan Magazine in India as a part of their cover story ‘People to look out for in 2012’. This year I also had my first group exhibition in New York. The greatest achievement to me is that my friends and family now appreciate that I am not simply going through a phase and are very supportive of what I do.

COMPLEXD | 85

86 | COMPLEXD

‘India still needs to get use to my style of photography; but things are changing and I’m glad to be a part of that change’

My biggest challenge is my age as I have lost most of my projects due to the age factor. Also, there are very few female photographers in India. This is one of the biggest reasons why publishing houses/magazines and art galleries outside of India appreciate and respect my work more. When I started out, I couldn’t think of a single young Indian female photographer. I wanted to break that norm. India still needs to get used to my style of photography; but things are changing and I’m glad to be a part of that change. I feel so confident in who I am and excited about who I am becoming. Self portrait and images by Bhumika Bhatia Models featured throughout | Apoorva Mishra, Asimah Mirza, Medha Singh http://bhumikab.carbonmade.com/

COMPLEXD | 87

88 | COMPLEXD

COMPLEXD | 89

90 | COMPLEXD

â€˜There are many mysterious places on this earth we are not aware of and my aim is to photograph them, whether it is an object, place or feelingâ€™

COMPLEXD | 91

Carolyn Cassey

a p p Y Age | 28 Occupation | Entrepreneur/Residential/ Designer/Aesthetician Place of Birth | Montego Bay, Jamaica Current Residence | Jamaica

92 | COMPLEXD

COMPLEXD | 93

Growing up, I was never sure what to categorize myself as, somewhere along the line I learned that I am 100% Jamaican and I believe I epitomize our island’s motto: ‘Out of Many, One People’. My mother is Jamaican-Indian, and my father is Chinese-Jamaican. I am the youngest of three siblings and we were brought up in a Christian, Seventh Day Adventist home where emphasis was placed on discipline, family and education. I had a wild imagination as a child and was never able to tell the difference between my dreams and reality. In February 2010, I made my dream a reality with personal savings and loans from friends and family and launched my beauty bar NyloraC. I received a lot of exposure for being the current title-holder of Miss Jamaica Universe Pageant in 2009, so it was the perfect time to open the business. NyloraC sells high end skincare, hair care and bath and body products and also offers a range of beauty treatments. Quality product selection and excellent customer service differentiates NyloraC from hundreds of other beauty stores and it brings new products and fresh ideas to a Jamaican market. The major challenge being based in Jamaica is that most of our products have to be imported. Instead of letting it be an issue, I plan to launch my own line of beauty products in the near future. I love running my own business because I get satisfaction from knowing that I am working on my goals and dreams and not someone else’s. Most young businesses are not profitable in the first few years, but my focus is on building brand NyloraC. I have no doubt that the money will come after; in the meantime, it feels good to be able to set my own working hours and make my own rules! I have learnt that the most valuable thing you can make is a mistake. You can’t learn anything from being perfect and this goes for all aspects of life, especially business. It doesn’t happen very often, but when I do hit an all time low, I always revert to an inspirational book that my friend introduced me to called ‘The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success’. It helped me realize that even your failures are a part of a bigger plan. As women, we nurture and rear the children of the future - what greater responsibility and honour exists on the planet? However, being a business owner is still challenging for any woman, even more so for a beauty queen. To be taken seriously, I have to make sure I’m always on top of my game when it comes to work and every aspect of my life. When I entered the Miss Jamaica Pageant, I knew I was signing up for a life where I would constantly be criticized. I don’t mind it at all because it keeps me on my toes; I see it as the hot air to my balloon. Some enter beauty pageants for just a crown. I entered for the opportunity to be an ambassador for my country, and to also use the title as a stepping-stone for all my short and long-term goals. It is the perfect story: a beauty queen opens a beauty store - it just makes sense! I love spending time with my dog, family and friends. I am from Montego Bay so I am a natural beach bum and I love the sun, sea and some good cocktails to unwind. I make an effort to surround myself with people who value me, uplift me and are heading in the same direction. I live my life exactly the way I want - I chose who I want in it, I chose what I do, where I go, and I laugh the loudest because I don’t care… and that makes me Complexd! www.shopnylorac.com/

94 | COMPLEXD

COMPLEXD | 95

â€˜Some enter beauty pageants for just a crown. I entered for the opportunity to be an ambassador for my country, and to also use the title as a stepping-stone for all my short and long-term goals. It is the perfect story, a beauty queen opens a beauty store - it just makes sense!â€™

96 | COMPLEXD

COMPLEXD | 97

98 | COMPLEXD

Brit

Woollard

Age | 25 Occupation | Photographer/Retoucher/Musician Place of Birth | Chicago, IL Current Residence | Chicago, IL I grew up in a boisterous Sicilian and Greek family where the gatherings involved the women cooking and cackling about everyday drama and serving up high-calorie dishes, while the men sat around barking about politics. I’ve always been the ‘black sheep’ in my family because I was more reserved and preferred to express myself privately through music and art. They were my emotional outlets and I would tuck myself away in a rehearsal room for hours and pour my emotions into my craft. I photograph, do the make-up, edit and even model in some of my shoots as it gives me creative freedom to experiment. I am originally trained as a traditional artist, but I had to think realistically because the gallery scene is rough, and the materials I needed to keep up with fine art were expensive. I started experimenting with photography during a mixed media project and it challenged and fascinated me as much

as my art. My self-portraits started out as shitty photographs taken with a shitty camera with a ‘MySpace’ feel, but I kept pushing my boundaries. I still use music and art as a form of expression, but I also express myself through my lens and tablet now. Photography lets me see the world through my eyes and in my own style, coupled with influences from my personal experiences, dreams and nightmares. I see it as a form of expression that allows me to get a reaction from another human. I try to push the envelope not only as a photographer but also a creative retoucher to evoke something in the viewer. I’m not concerned with whether it’s good or bad as long as it gets you talking, thinking or feeling. I draw a lot of my inspiration from music - whether it’s classical, –jazz, folk, rock, blues or soul. Music moves me, and I feel it.

COMPLEXD | 99

â€˜

I photograph, do the make-up, edit and even model in some

100 | COMPLEXD

â€™

e of my shoots as it gives me creative freedom to experiment

COMPLEXD | 101

102 | COMPLEXD

‘I try to push the envelope not only as a photographer but also a creative retoucher to evoke something in the viewer’

As artists, we always tend to be our harshest critic and dwell over our shortcomings rather than our successes. I confess I have an obsessive fixation on where I want to be and why I’m not there yet, but the people closest to my heart always find a way to show me how far I have come already. In any situation where I was frustrated with the outcome of my efforts, my father would tell me that life isn’t perfect and you don’t always get what you work for. I think there is always room for growth and learning; the only person that will allow this to take place is you. My favourite part of my body is my boobs! Being a woman is a wonderful experience because so much of the fashion and beauty world is marketed to us; it’s like wonderland. There are elements of fashion and beauty in my work, but I would describe my photographic style as fine art fashion with a dark twist. I’ve been sucked into this aggressive and passionate love affair with the avant-garde so my most expressive images exude a feeling of romanticism, peeping sexuality and fleeting moments. I am Complexd because I never ignore the burning creative thoughts in my head. I embrace them completely, and weave them into my life and my work. Self portraits by www.britwoollard.com

COMPLEXD | 103

‘I draw a lot of my inspiration from music - whether it’s classical, jazz, folk, rock, blues or soul. Music moves me, and I feel it’

104 | COMPLEXD

COMPLEXD | 105

Sarah-Adiana

Butler Age | 27 Occupation | Stylist/ Model Place of Birth | Tooting/ South West London Current Residence | Johannesburg/ South Africa

I grew up in a council estate in Wandsworth in South West London blissfully unaware of what we didn’t have; all I knew was that I was one happy child. My family is very close and my mother is a very loving woman; I would rarely leave her side. I remember being a very strange child – I didn’t talk much, but loved to express myself through drawing and painting. I never expected much out of life; my only ambition was to be an artist and make my mother proud. I have always felt happy; to me that is a great gift. I was studying Fashion Design at London College of Fashion and I would sometimes feature in the end-of-year shows. At the time, modelling was something that was fun and enjoyable but I wasn’t planning to pursue it. After my degree, I realized that I wasn’t specifically interested in fashion designing either, so when my mother suggested I apply for Britain’s Next Top Model I thought nothing ventured, nothing gained. I ended up being a contestant on the show, and made it to the final five, which made me more determined to make it as a model. I went to see a lot of agencies and got turned down by most of them but finally got signed with a small agency in London. Since then, I have travelled extensively with agencies in Paris, New York, Cape Town and Johannesburg and I have fond memories of travelling to the Seychelles, Italy, Ireland and Scotland for jobs. While travelling and modeling, I had the opportunity to meet so many talented individuals in the fashion industry so styling was a natural step. It was very difficult when I started out; nobody wanted to lend me clothes so I had to beg, borrow and steal, but I had faith in my ability to style and slowly people started to respond once they saw my work. On days when I’m doing a shoot, I usually have all of the outfits prepared and packed from the night before. I do a lot of research for my shoots, spending at least two weeks looking at different collections and selecting the right pieces; then the worst part is collecting all the garments. Modelling is much easier because I just show up and get told what to do, but of course styling is so much more rewarding. As – a stylist my voice is heard and my opinion is valued.

106 | COMPLEXD

Photographed by Aurora Crowley

COMPLEXD | 107

108 | COMPLEXD

I feel very blessed to be living this life. Iâ€™ve had some many amazing experiences and the highlights of those have definitely been travelling the world and meeting the most inspiring and peculiar people. It has changed my perspective and made me realize that life should be enjoyed, so I have decided that nothing is more important than living itself. I try not to worry about what will soon be the past and try to stay in the present. Much of our worries and anxieties are based on the future or whatâ€™s already happened in the past, so the best thing to do is think positively and it will eventually come back around to you. Being a woman is a great privilege and also a responsibility. I was a bit of a tomboy when I was younger and I felt very awkward in my little body. Somehow that changed over the years and I learned to embrace the whole package. Diversity is one of the main reasons that I do what I do because I have always been in love with the idea of difference, and celebrating that difference. The major downfall of the fashion industry is the fact that it relies so heavily on homogeneity. There is so much beauty out there hiding in the most unexpected places, still undiscovered and unexplored. Women from different places and different walks of life have so much to add to the notion of mainstream beauty. I truly believe that we were all made to perfection, every unique detail, every freckle, kinky hair and curve was created on purpose for us to celebrate and it deserves to be appreciated on both a personal and international scale.

Photographer: Christel Bangsgaard Stylist: Sarah Adiana Butler Hair: Linh Ngyen Make-up: Roshar+ Chris Milone Manicurist: Fumic Models: Linda Holme @Major NCY, Rachel Ballinger @ Muse NYC

I am Complexd because I dare to think differently, and question the norms of society. I have been asked many times when I am going to get a normal job and settle down, but it doesnâ€™t interest me at all. I would rather spend every day of my life pursuing what I believe in and knowing that I have truly lived, rather than have the material gains that otherwise beckon www.sarah-butler.com/

COMPLEXD | 109

110 | COMPLEXD

Sarah Ford Age | 29 Occupation | Photographer Place of Birth | Paris Current Residence | Paris

I was born in Paris and raised in the suburbs by French parents with distant Catalan and Polish origins. I started travelling from the age of two with my large family of five, which proved to be difficult at times. My parents wanted us to have a strong cultural knowledge and understanding that the world isn’t just where you live and what you think you know. That travel bug hasn’t left me; I travel a lot and it has taught me about humility and difference. I like observing different faces, analyzing features and guessing someone’s origins. I love how a mix of – two cultures creates interesting faces.

COMPLEXD | 111

‘I believe diversity is the future. My sister is curvier and I never saw her as big; I just saw her beautiful. I have just as much fun shooting curvy models as I do shooting slim models. It would be boring if everyone looked the same; I would be uninspired!’

My love for faces is what inspires me to shoot beauty a lot. I could spend my life observing people’s features and I knew somehow that fascination would be apart of my job. When I was younger I wanted to be a character drawer/designer for Disney. At school I used to draw faces on my notebooks and was convinced studying fine arts was the right choice, but that was until I took a photography class and found another way of drawing faces. I make a point of making clean images because lighting is what sets the tone for my personal photographic style. I’m very demanding when it comes to picking models, because I need to see their beauty before I photograph them, but I also want my models to trust me. I am never satisfied with pictures I take on a shoot where I didn’t get along with the model. For me photography is like – making a cake, it needs to be done with love!

112 | COMPLEXD

COMPLEXD | 113

114 | COMPLEXD

â€˜At school I used to draw faces on my notebooks and was convinced that studying fine arts was the right choice, but that was until I took a photography class and found another way of drawing facesâ€™

COMPLEXD | 115

I went to a photography school in Paris for three years. After I graduated, I became a photographer’s assistant in a wellknown studio that played host to some very established photographers. I believe assisting is the ultimate condition if you want to learn photography. The accessibility to equipment means that anyone can buy an expensive camera and call themselves a photographer and unfortunately this vulgarizes my job. It used to irritate me until I realized that many leave as fast as they arrived and serious clients know quality work. I will always be a defender of quality and the “savoir-faire” of my work. When I tell people I’m a photographer, they always seem surprised. I feel very lucky not to be working in an office and travelling and meeting new people everyday. There are still demanding aspects of my trade; to start with you need a lot of inner strength and self-confidence. Sometimes I don’t know if I’ll be working next month and I’ll be on a constant job search with not much security, but it is definitely worth it. I chose this career and I can’t see myself doing anything else. I have one goal in mind, and one vision of my success and I know I will find myself there in a few years. You can’t succeed at something if you give up easily. Photography by Sarah Ford www.sarahford.fr

116 | COMPLEXD

COMPLEXD | 117

COMPLEXDClassified

Coming from the often over-looked carer’s persepective, this new book sends the message that real, full and lasting recovery is possible, despite what we are so often told. “As a former sufferer myself of what is still considered a bit of a taboo subject, I found this book delivers information in a friendly, easy to understand way, making you want to read on.” Suzanne Dando Lynn Crilly

imparted with important lessons Tion ‘This book teaches ding.’ The Succeed Founda love and understan wishes for anyone who truly ‘Essential reading an with g livin like t it is to understand wha John PreScoTT eating disorder.’ Lord

experience, Lynn’s ‘Written from first-hand able addition perspective is an invalu disorders.’ to the writing about eating Sych Faed dr JaneT TreaSure

with OCK.COM

1 Hope_cover.indd

COVER IMAGE: SHUTTERST

2-7

ISBN 978-1-84850-89

lly RDERS Lynn Cri EATING DISO

feel trapped, disorder sufferers often colleagues of eating eating disorder Parents, friends and n by Lynn Crilly, an and isolated. Writte er through her frustrated, desperate of caring for her daught ence experi nd one that shows counsellor with first-ha of information and is an invaluable source affect anyone anorexia, this book tunnel. This illness can light at the end of the you will find in these that there really is a background and what social or race , to understanding eating regardless of gender and informative guide stic optimi ly pages is a unique guises, including: disorders in all their available within and to all the treatments an unbiased guide e outsid the NHS of with the full range cope and fy identi advice on how to eating disorders interviews with t advice based on case studies and exper carers and eating ers, more than 200 suffer disorder specialists. of hope – from this book is a feeling what you will take away ete recovery But more than that, and that a full and compl are not a life sentence that eating disorders is possible. a counsellor when one LYNN CRILLY became ia, rs fell ill with anorex of her twin daughte of years on, and a lot at the age of 13. Seven and many tears later, hard work, determination her and , healthy and Lynn’s daughter is happy her new-found With ever. than r family stronge of all experience and most knowledge, personal to is now on a mission passion and love, Lynn has learned to help others share everything she disorders. find hope with eating .uk www.lynncrilly.co

Phd FrcP FrcP

£12.99

Eating ordercarsers Dselfis -help guide for parents, with

and friends of sufferers 07/02/2012 11:36

To purchase the book please visit:

www.lynncrilly.co.uk/book

118 | COMPLEXD

YOUR

AD HERE ‘From our page to your business or product’

e: advertise@complexd.co.uk

‘From our page to your business or product’ e: advertise@complexd.co.uk

LOVE ART SELL ART IUDASO (International Urban Design Art Studio Online)

Are currently recruiting Ambitious, Self Motivated & Enthusiastic Sales Executives to join our international Sales Team, to sell the Artwork of Award Wining Colorado based Artist, Lawrence Childress.

This is a fantastic opportunity for motivated and determined individuals WHO:-

• Love Art • Want the freedom to work their own hours • Wish to generate an unlimited salary or an additional income

What we OFFER

• Negotiable Commission based on experience and sales • Target Bonuses • Unlimited earning capacity • Opportunity to create your own Art Portfolio

info@iudaso.com www.lchildressart.com

COMPLEXD | 119

Christian Aid/M Gonzalez-Noda

LONDON TO PARIS BIKE RIDE

ike’ b r u o ny Say ‘o rty: cycle e to pov les and i 30 0 m Tour de the watch ale! n fi e c Fran

18-22 July 2012

Turn your faith into action: join Team Poverty now! Call 020 7523 2221 or visit christianaid.org.uk/cycling

120 | COMPLEXD

UK registered charity no. 1105851 Company no. 5171525 Scot charity no. SC039150 NI charity no. XR94639 Company no. NI059154 ROI charity no. CHY 6998 Company no. 426928 The Christian Aid name and logo are trademarks of Christian Aid; Poverty Over is a trademark of Christian Aid. © Christian Aid March 2012 12-061-T