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This activity is made possible through a grant from the St Croix Valley Foundation.
ISBN 978-0-927663-85-4
Cover Artist: Andrew St. Michel
Interior Artists: Andrew St. Michel and See More Perspective
Teaching Artist and Editor: See More Perspective
Interior design and layout: Brittany Keefe
Print production: Smartpress, 950 Lake Dr., Chanhassen, MN
Whenever you are creating beauty around you, you are restoring your own soul.
— Alice Walker
Contents
Foreword | 5
Root Systems & Germination | 7 A Big Committee | 8
It’s an awkward thing, walking straight into the mouth of a dragon. However peaceful, contented, or even welcoming that dragon may be — it is still a dragon. You can’t help but tremble under the weight of the scrutinizing gaze of this great beast; its mouth closing at your back as you enter a system of cordoned corridors and locked doors beneath scales and behind claws.
It gets you thinking about how you might respond to that sudden and stark separation from everything you know. Just you and yourself in the belly of that beast. How might you spend your time, where might your thoughts go, what underlying feelings would become clear under the grim spotlight of enforced solitude? What Light of your own could you create in the darkness there?
When I showed up for the creative writing meet and greet to pitch a Spoken Word course, I met a group of individuals taking the opportunity to get their minds right; to make something of the challenges they face; to compost their mistakes into nutrients nurturing growth. With that, they didn’t need much more than a bunch of writing exercises. Through a shared focus, open mind, and a balance of conversation, ideation, and a bit of street philosophizing, we created a space together to explore, chart, and break down the many topics, experiences, thoughts, and feelings they had clearly been reflecting on. We talked about what it means to write poetry, learned some unfamiliar words, phrases, and concepts, and challenged ourselves to get further along on our journey than we were the day before (but often just minutes). This group of thoughtful, honest men — patched together with ink and metaphor — took the prompts, approaches, and tools I offered to wrestle with ideas, share wisdom amongst peers, and face, tell off, and do battle with their demons. They wrote letters to past, future, and alternate selves, crafted odes to love and community, constructed haiku and senryū to inspire and
encapsulate, and cut and polished gems that are still shining in our minds today.
This is our collective garden. Soil tilled in a dark night of the soul. Seeds of promise gathered in the wild and planted with conviction. Watered with flexibility and encouragement. Grown under the light of experimentation, unexpected poetry, and an appetite for a better world.
This is the Resurrected Garden.
Editor, See More Perspective
Root Systems & Germination
Trees and plants always look like the people they live with, somehow
—Zora Neale Hurston
A Big Committee
In the beginning we are all alone, planted in a large garden surrounded by many; gifted with the beauty of our different shapes and sizes. A big committee. Cross-hybrids make us who we are. Fungus often presents itself and makes standing tall hard. Sure, there’s competition, and honestly, there are plenty that compare, but the sight of - even the thought ofthese specific traits is so rare. Storms and harsh weather create struggle to exist. Those destined for greatness stick it out and wait til they’re picked. What’s in the soil helps you become you. Just keep in mind, the toughest are those who make it through.
—Shawn Lewis Jr.
Grandma was in love with the common sunflower.
Leaning toward the kitchen window, she’d watch them for hours.
They take the sun’s energy and reflect that vibe and that happy warm feeling grows inside. They reposition themselves to soak-in the last of the sun as it sets.
That warm yellow butter cake was as good as it gets. At a distance they’re pretty, but up close they’re rough.
I never got to say goodbye and that’s tough.
Sunshine beaut y full of light and goodness.
Every time I see sunflowers, my grandmother, I do miss.
—Andrew St. Michel
The Lotus Flower
is sacred and bright represents enlightenment is attractive and fragrant, spiritual, and elevated This flower rises above muddy waters and she always finds the light at the end of the tunnel
—Von
Looking back counting down the days, loved ones in town, big meals being made. Only care in the world was under that tree. At Grandma’s house, I knew the biggest gifts were for me. Times eventually changed although the feeling is the same. More happy to see faces, than stress what who gave. It’s kinda funny to see my kids how I was, Family I came-up with gathering to show Love. Even days when I barely get through the weather, what matters most is that we’re all one and together.
—Shawn Lewis Jr.
As Far Back as I Can Remember
Times well spent that I will never forget.
Long rides to reunions, I miss those trips. Holiday dinners, everyone showing up was a must. As time went on, the family kinda split up. Some say that comes with growth and to be honest, I understand, we have our own families now, making our own plans. Sometimes it’s funny to see it all playing out, but it keeps a smile on my face without a doubt. Some have passed on. I miss ‘em and Love em’. Disputes or not, wish I could reach out and touch ‘em. I just wanna thank ‘em all for their effect on my life, WOULDN’T TRADE Y’ALL FOR THE WORLD ITSELF Y’all know that, right?
—Shawn Lewis Jr.
Love Is
Loyalty. Given from both sides
Outgoing. For the people on whom you may slide Vigorous. Even though at times it may die Excellent. When everything is going just right
—Chris Shaw
Remember that embrace?
When you looked in my face, and told me, “I just want to hold you until all the broken pieces put themselves back together”. Well, I hope that takes forever.
—Andrew St. Michel
Poison/Medicine
Look deep into nature, and you will understand everything better — Albert Einstein
“Don’t think cause I’m nice you have me fooled” From ‘Survivors’ by Mary Ann Payne
Manipulation, I see thru it. The game you run - don’t do it. What I’ve been thru has me going about things the way I do. Trust, if need be, I could go about it the same as you. Tit for tat; it’s sad how people do those who are the closest, but I don’t react ‘cause I want better for all of us. It’s all led me to stay to myself. And those who think they have me fooled are the ones that need help.
—Shawn Lewis Jr.
Homie/Reminder
Never underestimate the next man’s pettiness. A frienemy’s embrace, a snake’s hug, the deadliest. I’ve been fooled before; I’ll be fooled again.
That’s why I stay to myself, and don’t have no friends. Phone rings only when people want something.
Nobody checks in.
No, “You good?”, So, what’s up, then?
Same ones giving dap say we homies and shit are the same ones low-key talking shit.
A whirlwind of fake phony homies who ain’t about shit, Can’t let nobody close, please stay off my dick.
There’s no honor among thieves, that life’s just a tease. Once they take what they please, they’re pointing fingers at me.
Ashamed for what I put ahead of my kids, Ten years down and still looking at more bids. So, where’s my safe place? A fucking prison cell?
Institutionalized by lies, so I chose this hell. God, just one more chance. I’ll make this shit right.
It’s My Life to Live and there’s Hope left in sight.
—Andrew St. Michel
“Demons Everywhere”
From ‘Demons’ by Emily
Boyce
On my back in my ear
Tryna leave a life of crime in my rear
Talk to God everyday but the Devil’s right there
On my back and in my ear
Only God, there is no man I fear
You wanna make a change, put the car in first gear
It may take a week
It might take a year
Set small goals, reach ‘em - then do it again
Draw a line, reach for it, do it again
Get in your car, fill up the tank, and drive
Find a new city, set up shop, stay Alive
Time wasted with those who matter least. Those who mean the most brushed off for the streets. The drugs, the life, just striving to be lit. At the end of the day, none of it’s worth shit. Just a picture painted untrue That taught me the Streets don’t bring glory, but that’s only part of my story…to be continued.
— Shawn Lewis Jr.
Detoxification
So many years of harmful decisions, choices, and outcomes for a toxic father, brother, and son
To hell with that; not being healthy, sitting in jail with boys and men
A product of my environmentstop lying, you picked your poison …right. I needed this time; it was heaven sent So just like I picked my poison, it’s time to choose my medicine.
— Chris Shaw
Waddup Boose,
So far so good on your end. Your parents keep you laced, but one day it’ll be on you to make the play.
You’ve gotten a lil older & made heavy mistakes, some had major effects on you.
Sun still shining although it tends to get grey. I just wanna remind you there’s brightness.
Freedom was taken for a short time but don’t trip. It’ll make for a better You when you’re back.
It’s just how the book was written, keep turnin’ the page.
Better to experience minor setbacks than death. You got three Babies. It’s Time to man up.
Without your A-Game, this generation’s chances are just luck. When it’s all said and done, that powerful story will be in your book.
More pleasant memories and maybe a new look. You been a winner since day one, don’t you ever forget it. Just keep your foot on that gas cause our time here has a limit.
From me to me
— Shawn Lewis Jr.
Goodbye Fentanyl
From Percocet straight to jumping in bed with the devil
So high I could hardly keep my eyes open
A year-long fight with the strongest opiate
When I couldn’t get it, I would get sick
Waking up every morning thinking, “I’m sick of this shit”
If I had one wish, it would be to have my life back
Everything around me started getting fucked up
All of a sudden, I was locked up
Put on Suboxone then gave that shit up
God puts you in some places for a reason
And yeah, my freedom got snatched
But I got my life back
I guess wishes do come true
— Chris Shaw
Sorry I’m weary It’s all that I got, I’m broken Hallelujah
—Andrew
St. Michel
Senescence/Dieback/Compost
This life goes passing you by. It might go fast if you lie. You born, you live, then you die. If life goes passing you by, don’t cry. If you’re breaking the rules, making your moves, paying your dues, chasing the cool — Lupe Fiasco, ‘The Cool’
Not Always Blood
It is sometimes the one you create
The kids you procreate, the friends you make
Sometimes blood can be fake, nothing but a liquid –“family” is but a word
Someone who shows up unconditional and expects nothing in return
Family is not always blood but one day you’ll learn
Ode to Broadway and Lyndale
You innocence snatcher!
You childhood taker!
You murderer maker!
Hustler’s dream
Athlete’s nightmare
You blindfolded futures to hide the Pain you cause
Days are a parade Nights are a party
You turn people to drug attics and others to alcoholics
A busy intersection where all seem to travel
A dark place where criminal minds unravel
You have been here since I could remember Busy from January through December
You made people money
So much that some people couldn’t hide it But hanging with you gets most of us indicted
— Chris Shaw
STAY HOME
Soul’s stripped; Police lights flipped and I dipped.
At least there’s no pistol but I’m gonna miss Crystal. Cuz when I get pulled over, I don’t pull over.
The police want me to, but I’ll go to jail cuz that shit’s in my pullover.
WTF am I doing? I should have just stayed home. This shit’s for real, teeth ground to the bone.
Mind’s racing but thought’s all fucked up.
Why is it I get nothing but this awfully tough luck?
So here I go; new case, on bail from another police chase.
Tossing things out the window, driving with no brakes.
Talking shit when they get me like its all in good fun, but this life is killing me, I just wanna be done.
All the people I hurt, and the love that I’ve lost, I swear my life’s the worst when I think about what it cost.
Sorry I left babe, should have stayed at home.
Now I’m kidnapped and trapped in this cell, alone.
— Andrew St. Michel
Abandoned
Rodents wandering around full of mouse, that’s the betrayal
Walls that I put up to lock people out
Basement my favorite room
Very lonely and cold
Kitchen my second favorite
Drugs cooked and sold
Guns in the living room
Broken windows in the threshold
No water in the bathroom
Piss and shit clog the commode
Praying for change while sitting and planning
Hoping for a brighter future
So my past I abandon
— Chris Shaw
VACANT
If my heart were a house, That shit would be up for sale. No GPS address Return to sender in the mail. Long forgotten, trapped out, somewhere off the beaten trail.
Like a garage sale went wrong in a white trash country song. Tread, trodden, and rotten with all the copper gone.
Power’s out without a doubt, ratchet fence hangs tall. Sign hanged says “BEWARE OF OWNER” and “Fuck-All-Y’All”.
I had an open-door policy, the mat welcomed allbut that shit backfired like paint splatter on the wall.
She moved in; Claimed ithalf-ass decorated the shit. Finessed what she could, junked it out, skipped rent.
(continued on next page)
Now it looks all condemned.
But I sure hope not.
Maybe It’s frozen. Crystallized. But it’s all that I got.
— Andrew St. Michel
People love to preach it, but rarely do they show it. It’s more than just a word (for those who don’t know). It tends to hurt most when betrayed by those who are supposed to Love you. Kinda makes you wonder if you believe in it, I mean, how could you? I’ve been the opposite of perfect but as fucked up as it is to say, all that’s helped me become who I am today. Being there and telling the Truth, even when it hurts, is better than having a loved one end up in the dirt. You gotta know what it means to really hold someone down. But for the most part, people who are all talk are the only ones around. I’ve met plenty that swore they’d keep it one hundred, that shit was all lies tho, all of ‘em fronted.
— Shawn Lewis Jr.
6 Feet deep
What if I had died? Who would have cried?
Let’s be realistic, set pride aside. Ain’t nobody sad boohooing and shit. They peeling my shit like its Christmas; hoping to get rich. All this wasted potential, of criminal life consequential Wish I would have done more for my kids,
MY BIGGEST REGRET
Can I stop this from happening? Wanna make a bet?
I’ve got so much to live for, can I turn it around?
So I don’t feel like a clown?
Ten toes down on the ground? Please Lord, get me there! Cuz I don’t know the way to a good life I can share until the end of my days.
— Andrew St. Michel
Memento Mori
Which path do I choose?
Life or death? Left, or right?
Doom and gloom or a joyful life?
Can’t trust my mind, that fucker plays tricks; Like there’s an angel on one shoulder and eight devils on the next
No whispers, just shouts, “this poison’s what’s best”
Looking back, I can see where that angel was right
But that doesn’t help me much now
Memento Mori
That’s Life
— Andrew St. Michel
Seeding
To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow. — Audrey Hepburn
Perhaps Tomorrow (After Miguel Piñero)
Perhaps tomorrow, things will be different
Perhaps tomorrow, the rain will go away
Perhaps tomorrow, the pain will flow
Perhaps tomorrow, I’ll sleep in my own bed
Perhaps tomorrow, I will leave my gun behind Perhaps tomorrow, I’ll be at the park with my son Perhaps tomorrow, The storm will make way for the sun
— Von
Throwing my blame on someone else
How selfish can I be
A lot of time to think about it now
In a cell with just me
All the wrong I’ve done, all the ones I’ve hurt
Its time to stop the bullshit and put in the work
In my heart I want -
Hold on - fuck “want”, I am going to do right
Doing wrong’s not working, so right’s got to be all right
I’m sorry for my actions - to everyone I’ve wronged
I can feel it in my heart the right side is where I belong
— Chris Shaw
God Willing
The last time I got locked up was the last time. But I said that shit last time. So, is this the last time?
By demons I’m driven; toward regretful decisions and prisons. I’m stacking felonies up like a banker. I’d rather take a loan out from my savior and say for the last time, “Lord…let this be the last time”.
— Andrew St. Michel
A Conviction vs My Conviction
The last time I went off to prison my thoughts were the same
To be totally honest, this time they’ve changed
All the people I’ve hurt…I have strengthened my conviction
With the growth of my heart, it’s outweighed my conviction
No more drugs, I let go of addiction
The last time I lied, but now I’m sticking to the mission
—
Chris Shaw
Perhaps Tomorrow
(After Miguel Piñero)
Long nights decease and brighter days come about. Perhaps tomorrow, I will make gold of my negative situation.
Perhaps tomorrow, fractured relationships will heal and reunite.
Struggle will result in success. Perhaps tomorrow, more memories, life Perhaps tomorrow we can rebuild society into healthy relationships
Perhaps.
— Shawn Lewis Jr.
If There Was One thing I Could Change
It would be my past
Bad son, bad brother, just bad
The Streets can kiss my ass
I put them before family and I regret that
Thinking about it now as a twenty-five-year setback
Look my sons in the eye, like, “How could you respect that?”
Lived for the day, while my future was jet black
Six years in prison – out - then right back into jail
Only calling my big brother to make bail
Feds picked up my damned case, this is Hell
Signature bond to 15 years, because I won’t tell
One thing’s for sure, now I See the Light
I’m changing my Life and putting down the *pipe.
— Chris Shaw
Letter to My Sordid Self
Dear SB,
Your troubled past just a product of your environment
You only did what you saw around you
You did not choose this life, it chose you
Sellin’ drugs and toting guns
Fuckin’ hoes and kickin’ doors
Binkin’ Kias wit flat heads
Spinning ops’ hood as soon as we get the loc but I ain’t talkin’ no Crip
Aim for the chest, neck, or face. No hips
You had all types. “You want the 9, 40, or 10 wit the crouton and grip?”
Sellin’ what the fiends like, posted onna strip
“What you need the Perc? 5, 10, or 15s?
We got the ‘scripts”
Police come - stash the drugs, hit the dip
You a Dale Street baby, I ain’t think you would ever flip but now you’re livin’ / really changing for the better
Pavin’ legal lanes to make cheddar
Leavin’ them gang themes in the past
Speeding to your new and improved You, and I’m comin’ in fast.
—
Von
Home Soon
(After Amber Sherr)
My heart is broken leaving you three behind
Absent from you in the world
Now you are always on my mind
Cannot believe I put you all second
My first love was crime
Now a lot of wishing that I could buy back time
Whole lot of regret, pain, and guilt
Can’t focus on the past I have to better my future
I love you my sons, and my beautiful daughter
You have my word: this time, I will be a better father.
— Chris Shaw
Resurrection
My garden is my most beautiful masterpiece —Claud Monet
Manifesto
Bob Ross type mistakes
Slapping paint on Life canvas
Happy trees please happy trees
— Andrew St. Michel
Three Haiku About Growth
Hail & Snow Outside Damage Done with No Movement Repairs & Sunshine
Long, Cold, Lonely Nights Lost Wondering Where to Go Rainbows Will Appear
Nature Demolished Empty Field with No New Plan Opportunity
— Shawn Lewis Jr.
What does that mean?
Like a phoenix? Or Jesus Christ?
Or me getting outta lock up with a gate fee and no life?
Will I be judged by how I fell or how I picked myself up? Is enough finally enough?
To say I am sick and tired is a ridiculous understatement. I wanna be rock solid as soon as I touch that pavement. I can take life’s strife and turn that shit productive
No more tears or hungry nights; just don’t give up kid
You got this shit, believe
Live a Life resurrected BELIEVE.
— Andrew St. Michel
Change
Constantly happening, never knowing when it will be. Throughout life it continues at you and me.
The smallest bit can mean the most and the biggest you’d rather look by.
It comes in all forms and has me asking myself why.
I’ve grown to accept it, even the ones I hate.
Positivity’s all I want, like comfortable space. Whatever it takes, I will continue to fight. And before it’s over, I’ll have success in My Life.
— Shawn Lewis Jr.
Resurrected
Garden
I got a lot of things to change, a lot of wrong to make right
I put a lot of bad into the world, now its time to clean up Fix broken relationships
Rebuild bridges burned
Calculate every step and make sure I’m correct Still young - only nineteen-years
I got the whole world ahead of me
Like a seed in the palm of my hand
Sometimes I wake up depressed, wondering where my life is headed
But I know deep down these tables are gonna turn
I talk to God, and he tells me, Don’t think you can change by yourself, lean on me
One of your weapons is praying and one of your best aids in freedom is asking So ask often
Your thoughts bear fruit So, think good thoughts and the fruit of Life will flourish
Think bad thoughts, and that fruit will rot
Life is gonna change for the better God put me in jail for a reason
To slow down, revaluate
He has a way of bringing you to the place you remember him the clearest
In the world I wasn’t thinking about God, living a life of sin and crime
But when I got locked up, I had time, and thought hard to reaccept Christ
Now I am readyto be in my kids’ Life to right these wrongsthe ones I still can, at least I truly am ready in mind and heart
And As You Know in Your Heart, You Are And where the mind goes, the body follows I had been slowly dying, my plant looked dead & dry But God rained on me, nourished me, brought me back to life
Call me a resurrected garden.
— Von
Artists
See More Perspective, Teacher/Editor
See More Perspective stands, works, and creates in solidarity with movements of struggle for liberation here and abroad. See More is a non traditional, self-taught Xicané MC, Producer/Composer, Spoken Word Poet, Graffiti and Projection Mapping Artist, Filmmaker, and Educator based out of the Twin Cities, MN. Their work interweaves liberation narratives, mythology, science fiction, spirituality, and the paranormal. See More was a member of the 2022 Night Light project grant and event from Public Arts Saint Paul, and was commissioned for another projection mapping installation set to a live soundtrack again in 2023 in downtown Saint Paul on the face of the George Latimer Library. In 2022/23, he premiered ‘Seeds of Culture’, a time travel operetta combining original hip hop and spoken word compositions and recontextualized Baroque pieces in collaboration with the Minnesota Bach Society. At the beginning of ‘24, See More premiered a series of music-videos as Art-films at ‘Faraway Graffiti Swamp Galaxy Resistance Type $__t!’. At the tail end of 2023, they launched a new project cooperative, ‘ox illery recordings’ with the Kaiju-tinged ‘Scum & Villainy: MegaTongues’ album featuring 10 artists from around the country and globe. See More is currently finishing production on ‘Slept Dawn’, the new EP by SkySpiders and the Imperceptible Web. They’re currently shooting and editing video, making beats, and teaching hip hop and spoken word all over the state of Minnesota.
Learn more via videos, discography, and interviews at www. seemoreperspective.com
Shawn Lewis Jr., Poet
Shawn is a laid-back, strong-minded individual born & raised in Minneapolis, Minnesota. He is the father of three beautiful children: Sheyanne (fifteen), Justin (ten), & Graham (nine); all who he Loves more than words can convey. Shawn is the son of Ms. Leaosure Jacox & Mr. Shawn Lewis Sr., who have had such an amazing impact on his life in so many ways. These days, he’s taking it one day at a time, focusing on establishing positivity and being the father his children need and deserve.
Andrew ‘Saint Mike’ St Michel, Poet
Andrew is 40 years old. A father. Tattoo artist. Andrew is an ex-convict, currently sober, in custody, and hoping to get home where he belongs instead of back to prison, where they always leave the light on.
Chris Shaw, Poet
Chris is a forty-two-year-old African American Man born in Dyersburg, Tennessee. He moved to Minneapolis, Minnesota when he was six. Chris has three children. His sons Majesty and Messiah are twelve and seventeen years of age, and his daughter Christianna is nine. Chris was raised by Ruthie, a beautiful and strong single mother. He is the middle child between his brothers, Dewayne and Keith, who is deceased. Chris is working on strengthening his mind, spirit, and heart. After incarceration, he is going to start a box truck company, help his loved ones, and live a positive, productive lifestyle.
Von, Poet
Von is a nineteen-year-old African American man mixed with Italian. He was born and raised in St. Paul, on Dale and University in the historical Rondo community. Von is the father of three beautiful children. Two boys and one girl. The girl and one of the boys are twins. Von is a young entrepreneur, having started a small clothing line of signature sweatshirts that he plans to expand. He also intends to start a small trucking LLC and enroll in classes to study business. Von has big plans for his future, and with God in his corner, they are very achievable.
Acknowledgments
This anthology is the second volume authored by men in COMPAS’ Justice Arts writing program.
Thank you to the Saint Croix Valley Foundation for underwriting the Men’s Writing Program at Washington County Jail this year, and to the jail staff who, for the first time since the pre-Covid years, were able to hold an in-person reading at the jail to celebrate these authors.
This anthology would not be possible without the Women’s Writing Program paving the way through the dedication of individuals and organizations that understand the power of writing and publishing to transform lives. The Women’s Writing Program, now part of COMPAS’ Justice Arts Program, was started in 2012. Since then, more than 300 women writers have been published in over 40 anthologies. Thank you to all the correctional facilities’ staff that have championed this program for the past 13 years.
The Minnesota Department of Corrections Advisory Task Force on Justice Involved Women and Girls, led by Gwen Lerner, along with writer Diego Vázquez Jr. and Jan Scott, of the Ramsey County Correctional Facility. Together, they designed the initial project, which has been sustained by invaluable collaborations. We extend thanks to MRAC, the WCA Foundation, The Archie D. and Bertha H. Walker Foundation, Great River Regional Library, Saint Paul Library System, Anoka County Library Systems, Washington County Library Systems, the Saint Croix Valley Foundation, and individual donors for their support of these programs. We have deep appreciation for Gwen Lerner of the Advisory Task Force on Justice Involved Women and Girls for her project guidance and leadership.
Many thanks to COMPAS Teaching Artist See More Perspective for leading this program for men at Washington County Jail and to the staff who helped shepherd this project into existence.
Most of all, thank you to the authors for this courageous venture into writing.
