Childhood Amai Rahn

I want to survive I am often found talking about my past I feel as if I talk about it too much As if it’s a call for attention because I was taught attention seekers were bad Growing up I didn’t have the sunshine; I grew up with brick walls Everyone saw me as the innocent puffball I barely remember a thing, but I remember the screams and cries I thought every day would be the day that I would die I knew every word he said was a lie I remember the pounding “Bang! Bang! Bang!’ I memorized the footsteps of the man I feared so I would be able to hide in time There was no hope And now I have to try and cope Cope with the habit of walking on a tightrope Not impossible, but learning is hard I’ve learned not to talk if nobody hears That was easy to learn, but how can I unlearn and uncover people’s ears I want to survive Abuse is a strong topic not many want to talk about It often goes undetected without a shout Maybe that’s why it took so long to doubt It took me years to doubt that the things that he did to me were right People often look at abuse as just bad parenting It should be heard if the child is afraid I was afraid

No one cared People care now though I fought my way through and somehow survived I took my situation and thrived Even when I was deprived of love and hope I found a way to cope It’s hard some days, especially when I see the thing that happened to me happening to other people The memories sometimes beat into my skull I know some people lose the battle I almost did I am scarred, but scars can’t hurt me I was bruised by a man who felt no love Bruises and scars heal, what doesn’t heal is the mind of a child I want to survive I don’t want to die I don’t want any other child to fear the end I don’t want to hear the shouts and screams They say the mind of a child is wonderful When you can’t even hear the child’s voice through the thunder “Shout! Shout! Shout!” The victim tries to get their point across But there will always be doubt There will be doubt because people want to believe no person would hurt a child A person would hurt a child Nobody cares to hear what an unwanted child has to say They don’t care what they’ve been through People only care how much money they can make from the issue Most people want children to be still and to be still as a statute

I will not stand for this I grew up without a childhood because of people’s choices This shouldn’t happen to anyone I want the abuse to be done I want to survive

Amai Rahn, Grade 8 Anoka Middle School for the Arts, Anoka Teaching Artist, Frank Sentwali