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Vol. 49 | No. 5 | MAY 2022

‘Glamping’ brings a new dimension to camping experience page

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Longest serving governor is retired but still busy

By Nance Ebert Contributing Writer BROOKLINE - The longest serving governor in Massachusetts history, Michael S. Dukakis is known for many accomplishments over his lifetime. He has had many roles, including athlete, soldier, lawyer, local politician, governor, 1988 Democratic nominee for President, distinguished professor of political science at Northeastern University, visiting professor at UCLA’s Luskin School of Public Affairs, husband, father, grandfather, son, mentor, and friend.

Retired but still busy He considers himself to be a progressive guy, politically, and has always been bothered by any evidence of injustice and would try his best to do something about it. Although at age 88 he is formally “retired,” he is very busy working on several non-profit organization boards Dukakis | 4

‘There’s more work to be done.’

Michael S. Dukakis, the longest serving governor in Massachusetts history, is retired but still keeps busy serving on the boards of several non-profit organizations.

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AARP Massachusetts weighs in on FY 2023 state budget priorities

By Mike Festa, State Director AARP Massachusetts

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ARP is the nation’s largest nonprofit, non-partisan organization dedicated to empowering Americans 50 and older to choose how they live as they age. On behalf of the nearly 38 million members nationwide and 775,000 members here in the Commonwealth, we urge the Massachusetts Legislature to fully fund the programs and services that help support older residents.

As the aging population of MassachuMike Festa setts continues to grow, so does concern over unique issues related to financial, health and long-term care needs. Both planning and action by the Commonwealth are required to make our society work well on behalf of all its residents. Adults 60 and over in Massachusetts will soon eclipse the under-20 age cohort for the first time in recorded history. In 2020, the 60-plus group comprised 24 percent of the population.

The Fiscal Year 2023 budget provides funding for vital programs and services for older Massachusetts residents. AARP Massachusetts’s budget priorities include programs and services that recognize and support the critical role of family caregivers; help people stay in their own home and community; strengthen the financial security of Massachusetts residents; and encourage age-friendly communities.

It is critical that the Commonwealth invests in these vital programs, services and budgets as they will be key in helping residents get through the long road to recovery that we all have before us.

To that end, we recommend the following: • Full and adequate funding to provide home and community-based care that enables older and disabled persons to remain healthy and independent, including raising the income eligibility limits for basic home care services; • Development of a long-term care continuum, that includes high quality, affordable skilled nursing facilities, assisted living facilities, adult day health services, senior housing and home and community-based

services, to meet the needs of our aging population; • Full and adequate funding of Elder Protective Services, including adult guardianship and the Money Management Program; • Full and adequate funding to ensure direct care workers who provide home and community-based care receive a living wage that keeps workers’ pay commensurate with the local cost of living;

It is critical that the Commonwealth invests in these vital programs, services and budgets as they will be key in helping residents get through the long road to recovery that we all have before us.

• Support for family caregiver assistance, including education and training, counseling, legal consultations, respite care, adult day services, and programs that help individuals pay relatives and friends who provide care; • Close the SNAP Gap and take steps toward a common application; • Full and adequate funding for the Councils on Aging and Senior Centers; and • Full and adequate funding for the Executive Office of Elder Affairs to serve as a highly visible advocate and planner within state government and a point of recourse for older residents.

AARP believes the Commonwealth must invest in these vital programs, services and budgets now. We know that with each budget, difficult decisions must be made. We also know that the most vulnerable among us must be protected.

If you would like to get involved as an advocate for AARP Massachusetts, please visit: www.mobilize.us/aarpma.

Mike Festa is the State Director for AARP Massachusetts. For more articles visit www.fiftyplusadvocate.com.

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‘Glamping’ brings a new dimension to camping experience Massachusetts offers multiple glamping destinations The Bay State’s striking coastal landscapes and expansive mountain forests beckon to outdoor enthusiasts of all tastes. Massachusetts residents who prefer a relaxing getaway can likely find one throughout the year.

By Barbara Hazelden Contributing Writer REGION - Camping in Massachusetts is definitely not a one-size-fits-all experience. At one end of the spectrum, back-to-nature purists pitch their tents under the trees or on a spacious patch of grass. Without their modern conveniences, these hardy campers will be roughing it for the duration of their stay.

Of course, not everyone wants to experience the realities of tent camping. Those who want more creature comforts opt for things like motorhomes and travel trailers. With RVs increasing in popularity, Bay State campgrounds and RV resorts are filled with vehicles and tow-behinds of all stripes.

Glamping carves out its own niche Vacationers who want to experience the great outdoors in comfort might consider giving glamping a try.

Combining elements of “glamour” and “camping,” glamping invites guests to experience nature firsthand―while satisfying their desires for comfort and modern conveniences.

A Normandy Farms glamping tent beckons to adventurous guests.

Glamping accommodations are increasingly found in memorable destinations around the world. Some adventurous guests choose a cozy mountaintop yurt while others settle into a treehouse tucked into the forest

canopy.

Other glamping sites include comfortably furnished tents or tepees.

Quaint hillside cottages, refurbished barns, and even classic Airstream travel trailers are ideal glamping lodgings.

Normandy Farms This family-owned resort in Foxborough presents luxury camping at its best. Set between Cape Cod and Boston, Normandy Farms offers four ways to experience the great outdoors in comfort. Guests can choose a deluxe cabin, a nicely furnished yurt, a wooded-setting safari tent, or a cozy pop-up trailer. With fitness and recreation facilities, swimming pools, and a wellness center, guests can enjoy a relaxing yet energizing stay.

Marcia Galvin, Normandy Farms’ human resources director, is part of the family who owns this upscale camping resort. She notes that Normandy Farms was offering glamping accommodations before the term found its way into the mainstream. Today, guests continue to show increasing demand for the units.

Glamping | 5

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Longest serving governor is retired but still busy Dukakis | from page 1

and also enjoys some free time to read for leisure — something he has not been able to do for a very long time.

“I love reading about our state’s history and I am currently engrossed in David McCullough’s book about John Adams and his wife Abigail. It is terrific,” said Dukakis. He could not say enough about his love for teaching at Northeastern for two decades and the co-op program that the school participates in. It gave him the opportunity to connect with young people and get them placed in public service sector jobs. He would teach there for nine months and then go out to UCLA in California for three months to teach there.

“The Northeastern program gives students the ability to join both academics with work out in the field. I was able to work with these talented students, many of whom I am still in touch with. Two of my former students are members of Congress,” said Dukakis proudly.

An athletic youth People might be very surprised to learn that Dukakis ran the Boston Marathon in 1951 at the age of 17. He was very athletic in high school in Brookline and played basketball, was the captain of the tennis team and was a cross country runner.

“The day after the marathon, our tennis team had their first match. I couldn’t move other than laterally, and I believe that, while Brookline won the match 8-1, the single loss was mine. It took me about a week to recover,” said Dukakis.

Gov. Dukakis spent a great deal of time during his twelve years in office improving the state’s economic environment, in what would become known as the “Massachusetts Miracle.”

Political start in Brookline The 1950s were an interesting time, politically, he explained. Dukakis went off to college at Swarthmore. He then enlisted in the U.S. Army and spent 16 months in Korea. Upon returning, he went to law school at Harvard. He also got elected as a town meeting member in his native Brookline, where he still lives.

“One very inspiring figure at that time, politically, was Jack Kennedy, although I did not get the chance to meet him even though he was from Brookline,” Dukakis recalled. “I was very close to Ted Kennedy when he was in the Senate, and I was governor. He was an extremely impressive guy and I truly valued and cherished our relationship. There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for the state, the town or the people,” said Dukakis.

Dukakis’ strong feelings about injustice began at a young age. Even as a boy, it bothered him terribly, he noted. He has no tolerance for discrimination of any kind and has tried, throughout his career, to break down barriers regardless of whether they were religious, racial or other.

“You have to understand what life was like in those days. Brookline was 5-1 Republican and there was a small group of Democrats led by a guy named Sumner Kaplan. We were inspired by him,” he said.

“A person of color could not live in Brookline with three exceptions. Two janitors with their families who lived in basement apartments and a world-renowned tenor who bought the house of an admirer.

We’ve made progress but still have more work to be done,” Dukakis affirmed.

Dukakis | 5

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Longest serving governor I was very close to Ted Kennedy when he was in the Senate, and I was governor. He was an extremely impressive guy and I truly valued and cherished our relationship.

Dukakis | from page 4

Laying the groundwork for the Massachusetts Miracle In 1974, Gov. Dukakis was deeply involved in digging the state out of a terrible hole economically. The older, urban communities were dying, and industrial cities were in terrible shape. He spent a great deal of time during his twelve years in office trying to improve the economic environment.

“We made a lot of progress, but it wasn’t easy. Now we have high tech and biotech industries but still have some weaknesses, particularly in the western part of the state. We continue to try and address these areas but building affordable housing needs to be a top priority,” said Dukakis.

Dukakis emphasized that in his opinion nothing compares with pub-

— Michael S. Dukakis lic service and the opportunity to make a difference in people’s lives.

He thrived on his ability to teach and mentor students and give them the opportunity to do good things.

Family roots formed values He attributed his strong support for immigrants, ethics and hard work on the fact that both of his parents and their families immigrated to the US from Greece. His dad went on to become a doctor who practiced for fifty years. His mom was the first Greek woman to attend Bates College. He takes great pride in his background and all that his parents accomplished.

He and his wife, Kitty, have a large family that includes their three children, their spouses and twelve grandchildren, all of whom make their grandparents very proud.

‘Glamping’ brings a new dimension to camping experience Glamping | from page 3

Galvin says the varied lodgings also enable non-RV-owning guests to enjoy a camping experience with their families. “Offering a wide variety of camping experiences allows the guests who don’t own their own RV to camp,” she explained.

“Many families camp together, and some will rent our units so they can enjoy the vacation with the rest of the family. It’s also an opportunity for those who have camped with their families for years and when they sell their RV, still want the camping experience,” Galvin noted.

AutoCamp Cape Cod Classic Airstream trailer fans will enjoy this upscale camping destination.

Open year round, AutoCamp Cape Cod offers furnished Airstream trailers, luxury canvas tents with full-size beds, and well-equipped hotel-like suites with outdoor firepits.

Shawme-Crowell State Forest Located in a forested part of Cape Cod, Shawme-Crowell State Forest offers over 15 miles of hiking and horseback riding trails. Besides two large RV campgrounds, this popular destination

offers six yurts equipped with electricity and water. Massachusetts residents receive a discount on small and large yurt rentals.

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Preparing for a glamping trip Before embarking on a glamping trip, you should perform some research on the destination resort or park. Learn about the lodging’s amenities, including what is provided versus what you need to bring, onsite services, and area attractions.

Creating a meal plan is also important, based on the lodging’s cooking facilities and/or nearby eateries. Charging electronic devices, and bringing some good reading material, helps to set the stage for a relaxing stay.

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Survey shows importance of mental health services for cancer patients

By Peg Lopata Contributing Writer REGION - While huge strides have been made in controlling cancer and ridding the body of it, no doubt it’s scary to be told you have it.

Certainly, some mental health counseling could help, if not your body, then at least your mind.

A survey done by Cardinal Health Specialty Solutions of Dublin, Ohio, sheds some light on this very topic in their recent report, “Oncology Insights December 2021.” This report notes the importance of this problem: as many as one in three cancer patients struggle with mental health distress.

Mental health distress, according to Dr. Bruce Feinberg, DO, vice president and chief medical officer of Cardinal Health Specialty Solutions, could mean patients may be less likely to eat, sleep, exercise, take their prescribed medicines or to consistently go to treatment appointments. The mental health needs of a cancer patient must be addressed.

“The best solution is to integrate mental health services within the (oncology) practice,” says Dr. Bruce Feinberg, vice president and chief medical officer of Cardinal Health Specialty Solutions.

port the mental health needs of cancer patients.

Feinberg agreed, “There’s not enough mental health professionals who specialize in helping cancer patients.”

But there’s another problem. Feinberg explained that only a minority of the oncologists surveyed regularly refer patients for mental health services.

He added, “And there’s not enough resources to help oncologists connect their patients to mental health professionals.”

“My experience and feedback from colleagues in practice indi-

cate that there are additional factors contributing to these problems and others,” said Feinberg. “There’s inadequate training in medical school, lack of time with patients, difficulty in securing timely referrals, and overwhelmed patients who have neither the time or money to see more specialists. All these problems contribute to this complex issue.”

Palliative care leads to better outcomes The survey also revealed much valuable information about palliative care.

As explained by Feinberg, some 68% of the oncologists surveyed agree that early introduction of palliative care leads to better outcomes for patients with advanced cancer.

But only 17% said they refer patients to palliative care at the time metastatic disease is diagnosed.

Since palliative care can help cancer patients and their families, Feinberg said, “There needs to be incentives to encourage oncologists to invest in palliative care resources.”

Where’s the focus?

“Whether it’s palliative or mental health care, there’s a need,” said Feinberg, “for oncologists to focus more broadly on all the needs of patients, rather than just treating the cancer.”

There’s also a need for all of us to accept that while a positive attitude can help, at times, there’s a better approach.

“Our society puts a strong emphasis on having a positive attitude during cancer treatment and never giving up on ‘the fight,” said Feinberg. “While positivity is certainly helpful, if it means that patients and their caregivers are unwilling to also talk about death when the time is appropriate, this can lead to challenges.”

There may be no more difficult doctoring job than being an oncologist. Sometimes they may have nothing more to offer than compassionate listening, a referral to a counselor or the number to call for palliative care.

This survey shows that there are already oncologists who are serving both the mental health and palliative care needs of their patients. The survey also highlights that there’s still work to be done so that all cancer patients get this type of optimal care.

Potential solutions Feinberg is succinct: “The best solution is to integrate mental health services within the practice.”

The survey showed that half of oncological care teams include psyEstate planning may seem overwhelming and daunting, but it’s really a chologists and social workers, so Feinmatter of getting your affairs in order. Of course, no two estate plans are berg’s solution isothers already happening alike. Some individuals may only require a will-based plan, while may benefit from establishing trusts.in Themany best way topractices. plan for your future, The hope is that protect your interests, and provide for your loved ones is to consult a eventually all cancer cares teams will qualified elder law & estate planning attorney. include mental health professionals.

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Noise pollution is more than an inconvenience

By Sharon Longo Contributing Writer REGION - Hammers pound, a train passes by, a car horn blasts, a lawn mower hums; sounds like a typical noisy day, or could this be something more insidious? According to the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (U.S. EPA) and the World Health Organization (WHO), over an eight-hour period, noise levels should be maintained below 75 decibels (dB). An example of a sound level at 85 or higher would be a food blender, a train passing or a gas-powered leaf blower. According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), exposure to this type of sound for two hours or longer may cause hearing damage. This is concerning, but the WHO also documented other health areas where noise pollution could pose a problem.

Ailments excessive noise can cause An intense noise such as a firecracker can cause instant hearing loss that could last permanently, but hearing damage can occur over time due to continued exposure to certain loud sounds. This can interfere with how people understand the spoken word in an average tone of voice. Eventual-

Exposure to noise levels over 85 decibels for two hours or longer may cause hearing damage.

ly, communication issues can lead to misunderstandings that can cause relationships to falter. Not being able to understand information, as well as a noisy environment, can cause issues with school or work, leading to errors.

Noise can cause distress and even annoyance. When people don’t like the sound from their outdoor environment, they may close their windows, avoid going outdoors to enjoy their yard, or turn up their radio or television to drown out other noise. This can cause stress and headaches. In some instances, people can become unfriend-

ly, avoiding groups and activities, and eventually this could lead to aggressive behavior or even an increase in depression or anxiety. Something called “noise annoyance” is also a psychological condition that can occur from too much noise on a daily basis.

Not being able to fall asleep or waking up often during the night can be a problem. Noise can be a contributing factor that disrupts these sleep patterns, causing a disruption in deep sleep or the rapid eye movement (REM) stage. A sudden or loud noise also causes the amygdala, the part of the brain that is alerted to danger, to respond.

This lack of sleep or “fight-or-flight” response can raise blood pressure, heart rate, pulse rate and even cause an arrhythmia or irregular heart rate.

Who is most affected?

The elderly and children are often affected the most, but others who also have a vulnerability to loud noises are newborns and infants, people who are blind, patients recovering from injury or illness or people dealing with physical or mental illness. Studies have also shown that elderly people who did not treat their hearing loss that had already occurred were at a higher risk for dementia.

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When to seek help Dr. Keith Darrow is a neuroscientist and clinical audiologist with a Ph.D. from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (M.I.T) and Harvard Medical School program. On his website, https://www.askdrdarrow. com, Dr. Darrow recommends having a hearing check at age 50. Starting with a baseline check can help detect problems and also prevent other issues. He states that treating hearing loss early helps a person utilize the hearing they have while possibly adapting to treatment at a faster rate.

For more information about noise pollution and its effects visit: https:// www.cdc.gov/niosh/topics/noise/faq. html.

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While not everyone can move to a less-crowded, traffic-free area, there are some things one can do to lower the environmental noise. Carpeting and noise-absorbing curtains are a help. Wearing earplugs when doing any activity with a 65 dB or more level can help prevent hearing damage. This could include attending a concert or a fireworks event. Also, avoid wearing headphones or earphones when listening to music, or at least make sure the volume is at a reasonable level.

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When to start collecting Social Security is one of the most important retirement decisions

By David Wilkening Contributing Writer REGION – When should you start collecting Social Security? Anytime you want once you reach age 62. That’s a fact. Another fact: Taking it early, before age 70, means your benefits will be less than if you waited. And now we come to what we don’t know: Just what age should you choose to start?

That “unknown” is far from a fact.

But it’s a key question. And it’s a “decision nearly all Americans will make during their lifetimes, and one that may significantly influence one’s retirement income,” said Jim O’Neil, a financial advisor with Boston-based Appleton Partners Inc. “Often, however, information can be confusing, which can lead to making compromised election decisions. When to begin taking distributions may seem straightforward. In reality, though, it is not.”

And most of us will get it wrong.

The earlier you claim the lower the benefit “The choice of when to begin has a

result of a 2019 study from United Income, an online investment management and financial planning firm.

Economist Alicia Haydock Munnell

meaningful impact on the dollar value of the benefit that will be received ― benefits claimed early will be reduced and benefits that are delayed will be increased,” according to Amy Crandall Kaser, a portfolio manager with Boston Trust Walden Company.

When to start claiming your Social Security benefit is one of the most important retirement decisions. But it is often a bad decision. That was the

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Most households lose $111,000 Only 4 percent of retirees start claiming their Social Security benefits at the most financially optimal time, according to the report. That means the remaining 96 percent of retirees are losing out on a collective $3.4 trillion in potential retirement income. That means $111,000 per household.

While most Americans typically can start claiming their Social Security benefits as early as age 62, the size of the monthly benefit grows around 8% annually for each year they wait, maxing out at age 70. Then there’s no point, benefits-wise, in continuing to work.

But the complexity of the program ― its handbook has more than 2,700 entries on topics ranging from remarriage to black lung benefits ― means that many Americans aren’t fully informed before making their decision.

“Benefits can get confusing quickly,” Crandall Kaser noted.

She uses a chart online in her article on “Navigating Options.” It is a graphic similar to the one used by the Social Security Administration. It shows the wide range of benefits. The chart is for workers who receive a benefit amount of $1,000 at a full retirement age of 67. It shows a $700 monthly benefit at age 62. Benefits steadily rise with age: $1,000 at age 67 and $1,240 at age 70.

Best answer: Wait as long as possible The Social Security Administration site itself has a lot of information but no real answer to their frequently asked question of “when to start.”

It says the answer is that there’s no “single best age.” The site urges personal decisions based on whether it’s better to start getting benefits early with a smaller monthly payment for more years or wait for a larger monthly payment in a shorter time frame. The answer is personal, the site said, and has to be judged by your “current cash need, health and family longevity.”

Resources for making the decision The complicated system of when to take Social Security is full of internet sites for recommendations and articles on the best claiming systems, wrote financial planner Mitch Zides for Constant Guidance Financial, based in North Attleborough. “It’s a complicated system and since the Social Security administrators don’t understand your unique personal situation, they can neither provide advice nor make rec-

ommendations,” he explained.

There are also plenty of websites that offer charts or calculators showing the break-even point when you start taking Social Security at various ages. The break-even point is typically between age 77 and 83, and with increasing life expectancies, many people could collect Social Security well beyond those ages. A 65-year-old man in the US, in average health, now has a 35 percent chance of living to 90. For women, the odds are nearly even ― 46 percent.

When to collect early Collecting early retirement benefits may make sense if you’re broke or nearly so, or if you’re unemployed. Or especially if you have serious health issues and don’t expect to live long enough to collect benefits for very long.

The longstanding most popular age to claim Social Security is 62, which includes about one quarter of applicants.

Financial planners often make the point that early claims are often based on the belief that the Social Security Trust Fund will be depleted in 2034.

But in the past, politicians have repeatedly shored up the system.

This system is eventually going to run out of money, Zides admitted.

“The government will likely change the rules.” He expects benefits to be cut.

But adds that it’s impossible to predict what changes might be adopted.

Early claims declining Researchers Anqi Chen and Alicia Haydock Munnell authored a Social Security study in 2021 by the Center for Retirement Research of Boston College.

The study called “Pre-Covid Trends in Social Security Claiming” found that the percentage of all initial claims by people first eligible at age 62 showed a steady decline over the past two decades. They viewed that as good news for retirement security.

Waiting for better benefits up until the age 70 was a positive. “There’s a pretty significant difference for waiting,” Chen said, under normal circumstances that don’t involve health issues or, in some cases, immediate economic needs for applying earlier for Social Security income.

Many others agree with the study that cited the best course is waiting until 70 for maximum benefits. “Generally speaking, the best strategy ― as long as income and expenses permit it ― is to wait for as long as possible,” suggested Jill Fopiano, president of O’Brien Wealth Partners in Boston.

Zides agreed. His own recommendation for most people: Wait until 70.

That’s what he plans to do for himself.

www.fiftyplusadvocate.com + MAY 2022 + fiftyplus advocate

Surprenant & Beneski P.C. encourages early estate planning

The official reverse mortgage consumer booklet approved by the U.S. Department of Housing & Urban Development

•9

Reverse Mortgages – Take Action Alain Valles, MBA, MS 781-724-6221

The attorney team at Surprenant & Beneski, P.C.

By Liz Nolan Contributing Writer REGION - Learning about power of attorney, trusts, wills and health directives does not need to be overwhelming.

The legal staff of Surprenant & Beneski, P.C. emphasize the importance and value of early estate planning. They are committed to educating you and facilitating the process so informed decisions are made for you and your family based on your individual goals.

The family-oriented firm was founded in 1965 and the current managing partners are siblings Daniel Surprenant and Michelle Beneski. Both are Certified Elder Law Attorneys (CELA) by the National Elder Law Foundation.

There are only 24 practicing in Massachusetts. The firm has grown with an expanded staff and locations in New Bedford, Easton, and Hyannis.

Do not procrastinate estate planning Surprenant & Beneski Director of Community Relations Christa Silvieus said a common misconception is that estate planning is only for the wealthy or aging or when you die.

“There are several aspects of it that support you and your loved ones while you are living,” she said. “Our attorneys are very good at explaining things and helping people understand how the law can impact different situations and help them to avoid potential consequences.”

Appointments can be made for a free, 90-minute consultation with one of the attorneys. Based on individual family circumstances and financial goals, education and solutions will be provided so you can make an educated decision that is a good fit for you and your family.

“What works for your neighbor, your sibling, or your coworker as far as estate planning, might not be the right solution for you, based on your goals,” said Silvieus. “There’s a lot of misconceptions out there and it is worth it to take time to be educated. The pandemic has taught us that this is not something you want to procrastinate about.”

She said the pandemic experience has made people of all ages more cognizant of how quickly someone can be-

come incapacitated. It has shown how important it is to have legal documents in place to identify the person who can make decisions on your behalf if needed. This can be someone to manage your finances, make health care decisions, or to access personal information, such as talking to your pharmacist or insurance company.

Additionally, having an advance directive (also known as a living will) gives loved ones and health care providers a clear direction as to how you would want to be cared for during an incapacitated or end of life circumstance.

Silvieus said this is particularly important for people who have large families.

“Two siblings may think they know what mom wants, and have very different opinions,” she said. “If documented, she can identify how she wants to be cared for in different situations and circumstances, so the family has a guide how to make decisions in those situations.”

The firm encourages adult children taking care of an aging parent to contact them sooner rather than later, so they are not coming in during crisis mode.

Planning now can lower costs later A Last Will and Testament directs your assets to the appropriate people in your life. If there is no will, there is no access to anything that a spouse or parent owned individually until it goes through the probate process.

“This can be a costly, time intensive, overwhelming and frustrating process without the proper documentation,” said Silvieus. “It doesn’t avoid probate, but it does improve the facilitation of the process.”

Review plan to account for life transitions Silvieus said it is valuable to review the estate plan. The firm offers clients a free, three-year review of their plan to assess if it continues to fit their current situation. Marriages, divorce, new grandchildren, or a health diagnosis may necessitate plan updates.

Call 508-994-5200 or view https:// myfamilyestateplanning.com/for more information.

No regrets. If you are at least 62 years old and own a home with some equity, then you should learn about the pros and cons of a reverse mortgage. Being financially prepared for life’s unknowns, retirement, cash needs, home repairs, or medical requirements is critical for maintaining your quality of life and keeping your home.

What is a reverse mortgage?

A reverse mortgage is a government guaranteed loan that allows you to receive cash when needed or desired. The primary benefits of a reverse mortgage are: • No monthly mortgage payment required • You may receive a lump sum amount of cash, a monthly check, and/or have a line of credit that grows as you get older • Easier qualification than conventional loans • No minimum credit score required • May be used to pay off current mortgage and other debt • Money received is tax free and when done properly will not impact assistance programs • May close in a trust • The loan is non-recourse meaning you do not sign personally • You continue to own and control your home • Note — you are required to pay your insurance and real estate taxes.

There is no cost to learn Regardless of what you’ve heard about reverse mortgages, it can be complicated to determine if a reverse mortgage is the best path for you.

A great place to get free information is the “How to Use Your Home to Stay at Home” 36-page book. This is the official reverse mortgage consumer booklet approved by the U.S. Department of Housing & Urban Development and published by the National Council on Aging.

For more personalized information, please give me a call at (781) 724-6221 to receive your free copy of “Use Your Home to Stay at Home” or email me at av@powhse.com. I am available to evaluate your specific situation and calculate how much money is available. The only upfront personal question asked is your date of birth. Thank you and stay safe!

Alain Valles was the first designated Certified Reverse Mortgage Professional in New England. He obtained a Master of Science from the M.I.T. Center for Real Estate, an MBA from the Wharton School, and graduated summa cum laude from UMass Amherst. He is the senior reverse mortgage loan officer MLO#7946 at Powerhouse Funding Corp.

10 •

fiftyplus advocate + MAY 2022 + www.fiftyplusadvocate.com

Tips on coping with inflation

By David Wilkening Contributing Writer

Inflation is tough for everyone. It’s especially tough for older Americans living on fixed incomes.

REGION - Costs are higher when you pump gas, go to the grocery store, and pay for many other necessities. It all adds up to one number: The worst inflation in 40 years.

Older Americans hit harder “Inflation is tough for everyone.

It’s especially tough for older Americans living on fixed incomes,” said Michael W. Klein, an economist and professor at Tufts University. A report last year from the National Institute on Retirement Security found that up to 40 percent of older Americans rely solely on Social Security for income in retirement.

Social Security does include yearly cost of living adjustments. This year’s was the largest in decades at 5.9 percent. But it has never kept up with inflation rates. Major reasons include a failure to keep up with rising medical costs, which often are the top expenditure for retirees.

There’s general agreement on that. But “In short,” concluded a recent study on the subject published

— Michael W. Klein

Lifestyle changes, while sometimes difficult, can help in reducing your expenses, says Jeffrey Tomaneng, wealth advisor at Asset Management Resources in Hyannis.

last year.” Social Security does not fully insulate older households from inflation’s erosive impact.” The study from the Center for Retirement Research at Boston College was done

by Alicia H. Munnell and Patrick Hubbard.

So what can you do if that’s your own situation? Are you relying total-

ly on your Social Security check each month without any other source of income? There are answers. Here are some suggestions.

Look for Social Security’s untapped resources Most people routinely associate Social Security with traditional retirement payments. But one expert maintains it has a lot of often untapped additional resources. Economics professor at Boston University and author Laurence Kotlikoff has written books that say it is the “biggest source of retirement funds that are overlooked.”

He said there are 13 different kinds of benefits you can receive, which include disability benefits, spousal benefits, and others. But often people simply don’t apply for them, so they go untouched. A good example is spousal benefits. They can boost monthly benefits by several hundred dollars. Spousal benefits allow individuals to receive them based on a spouse’s earnings record (if their earnings were higher). The result is that recipients can have both their own and spousal benefits.

What are some more options? Jeffrey Tomaneng, wealth advisor at Asset Management Resources in Hyan-

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The grocery store is one place where the effects of inflation have been felt greatly.

nis, is among those who see changes of lifestyle as not always pleasant.

“Sometimes, these are difficult decisions,” he admitted.

ic serv

Security but approaching retirement age, Klein is among economists who urge putting it off as long as possible to get the maximum allowed benefits. Planners and others such as economists also suggest that those who still have discretionary incomes invest in diverse portfolios. These may include stocks, bonds, even gold or commercial/residential real estate properties.

“People can try to have a more aggressive but riskier portfolio earlier on in life but as you approach retirement, you would not want the value of your investment to fluctuate a lot,” said Klein, a published author who served as an economist during the Obama administration.

And if inflation slows?

The most common predictions about the current rate of inflation are that it will continue. But what if, oddly enough, inflation does slow? He does not expect it but Klein says that would be a positive development.

“But it is also worth noting that inflation represents price changes for all goods and services weighted by what the general population spends, but seniors might have very different spending patterns than the weights used in calculating inflation,” he said.

In other words, no easy solution there, either.

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Other ways to save money Tomaneng came across some of those decisions in helping an aunt who retired in the 1960s and found her income could no longer meet rising expenses. She considered sharing

her home to cut expenses, which is a common suggestion. “It’s not for everyone because you’re giving up your privacy,” he said. Instead, she moved into a smaller home in a lower-priced area. But Tomaneng admitted the idea of sharing a home that has perhaps gotten too large might not be acceptable to many people.

Another consideration might be taxes. Financially strapped retirees might consider moving out of a state

with income taxes to another of the nine states like Florida that do not have a state income tax.

Still another consideration might be to get a part-time job. The U.S labor shortage is obvious and there has perhaps never been a better time for healthy seniors to find temporary jobs.

Naturally enough, the subject of help from financial planners arises.

And Mike Lynch, Managing Director of Applied Insights at Hartford Funds, has a practical approach to budgeting. He suggests planners can help in determining what is “nice to have” and what is “necessary.” A good example: someone who regularly visits coffee shops. “Making coffee at home could save some daily or weekly dollars,” he said. “There is no better time than today to start the budget process and see what can be scaled back or eliminated,” he noted.

Rising prices for groceries is a common complaint. But not all food items are getting expensive at the same rate. So be selective at the grocery store. Rising prices are particularly impacting animal-based products. Shifting to plant-based meals can cut grocery costs (and add to healthier food habits). Research can help in picking food items that are more reasonably priced.

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fiftyplus advocate + MAY 2022 + www.fiftyplusadvocate.com

Remote work on the rise for many older workers

By Barbara Hazelden Contributing Writer REGION - While inching along in I-93 traffic every day or plodding along slushy Boston streets in horrible winter weather, many office workers no doubt daydreamed about working remotely from home full time. Then, during 2020’s COVID-19 pandemic shutdowns, thousands of employees were unexpectedly thrust into this scenario as their workplaces were ordered to close their doors.

As 2022 progresses and the pandemic winds down, Massachusetts companies have reopened their doors, and it’s back to business as usual.

However, many firms have switched to a remote or hybrid work model.

This trend is making remote work an increasingly common part of the state’s employment landscape.

Remote work becomes a more feasible option In February 2021, the McKinsey Global Institute issued a report called “The Future of Work After COVID-19.”

This nationally recognized management consulting firm concluded that remote work would likely continue

Kennealy, Massachusetts’ secretary of housing and economic development, acknowledged significant adjustments for employers and employees.

Kennealy voiced his concerns during a March 2021 webinar sponsored by the Massachusetts High Technology Council. “The biggest question of all is, how will we compete in this new world? The environment is different now,” he emphasized.

after the pandemic.

McKinsey researchers found that 20 to 25 percent of advanced economies’ workforces could realistically work remotely for three to five days each week. For comparison, this is four to five times more remote work than in a pre-pandemic economy. This development could result in companies

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(and workers) moving from large cities to smaller cities and suburbs.

Integrating remote work into the Massachusetts economy In March 2021, Massachusetts state officials began discussions on how remote work could fit into the post-pandemic economy. Michael

Massachusetts sees good remote work potential In July 2021, Massachusetts Governor Charlie Baker’s office issued a commissioned report on remote work’s future in the Bay State. The report estimated that roughly one-third of Massachusetts residents could easily work remotely. This percentage is higher than in many other states.

Governor Baker reiterated these findings in an address to the Greater Boston Chamber of Commerce. He predicted that a large percentage of office workers could successfully perform their jobs without being at their desks for a five-day work week. Plans were also underway for roughly half of Massachusetts’ 44,000 full-time

www.fiftyplusadvocate.com + MAY 2022 + fiftyplus advocate

Finding a Community Where We Belong

• 13

Sport creates friendships and a sense of belonging that is unrivaled.

By Marianne Delorey, Ph.D. Executive Director, Colony Retirement Homes One survey revealed that over half of 50-plus professionals view remote work as a more productive option.

state employees to work in a “hybrid” work structure.

More remote work would trigger several domino effects. Workers in hybrid job models would require flexible childcare alternatives. As more employees worked from home, office real estate demand could experience a 20 percent decline.

Putting the infrastructure in place To enable more remote work opportunities, cities and towns would need infrastructure investments.

Expanded internet broadband access would be especially important.

Massachusetts State Sen. Eric Lesser, a Democrat representing the First Hampden and Hampshire District, said poor internet connectivity is a major problem in multiple Massachusetts communities, particularly in the commonwealth’s western half.

“You’ve got multiple communities that don’t have broadband hookups at all,” Lesser explained. “And then, you know, you have, especially lower-income communities, communities of color, especially in our gateway cities that … on paper have connectivity, but it’s very expensive, or is of not great quality. So those issues are really going to be at the top of the agenda,” he concluded.

Sen. Lesser also said that revitalization-minded cities and towns could benefit from establishing co-working spaces. Remote workers who prefer out-of-home workspaces often gravitate to these venues. Public libraries can accommodate co-working setups with minimal modifications.

Massachusetts residents who desire remote work have numerous resources available. According to job services company Virtual Vocations, numerous Massachusetts businesses regularly hire remote workers. Virtual Vocations also provides a growing list of co-working spaces along with other remote job-seekers’ resources.

Older workers are well suited for remote work Not surprisingly, many Massachusetts residents over 50 are good candidates for remote work. First, older workers often have decades of business world experience. In addition, their job-related skills, strong work ethic, and interpersonal talents enable them to adapt to varied work scenarios.

Finally, the marketplace is increasingly recognizing that over-50 workers are often just as suited for remote work as younger candidates. Chris Farrell, author of Purpose and a Paycheck: Finding Meaning, Money, and Happiness in the Second Half of Life, explains.

“The popular image is that older workers aren’t suited for telework. But the data suggests they are good candidates since they have a well-developed work ethic. And there is no evidence that today’s 50-plus worker isn’t technologically adept. Case in point: Just about everyone is using Zoom now,” Farrell concludes.

Many older workers prefer working remotely FlexJobs, a respected source for flexible and remote job listings, conducted a 2017 survey about remote work. The FlexJobs survey revealed that over half of the cohort’s 50-plus professionals viewed remote work as a more productive option.

Reasons included decreased commuting stress and less annoying office politics. A much quieter work environment, and few distractions and interruptions, were also high on the list. Respondents also enjoyed wearing more comfortable clothes, likely including sweatsuits and other casual attire.

In early 2022, Massachusetts residents have an increasing number of remote work opportunities. With wellequipped workspaces, and healthy amounts of discipline, this alternative workstyle can become a realistic option for many older workers.

B

ernie moved into Colony and quickly became an integral part of our community.

He was smart and helpful and interested in doing more.

When a parttime staff position opened up, he was first in line to apply.

We cautioned him that being both a resident and a staff member was challenging. He still wanted the job.

He was truly great. He never missed a shift, filled in for others, and was diligent and hard working. He truly had his finger on the pulse of the building.

Unfortunately, he was not well.

Over time, he grew sicker and sicker.

We could tell he wasn’t feeling well.

His normal smile was briefer, his laughter was gone. He was pale and growing slower. We knew what was going on and he did, too. He knew there was no cure and that treatments had already bought him all the time he was going to get. We talked to him about resigning or retiring but he was not interested. He finally went to the hospital, but he died a day later, only missing one shift.

None of us understood why he was holding on so desperately, why he wanted to work when he wasn’t feeling well. But a recent conversation with another resident helped me understand what the job meant to him.

I was talking to a female resident who joined a men’s slow pitch softball team in her 80s. As I never understood sports (neither as an observer nor a player) I asked her why she put her body at risk for a game. She said it

— Alex Newsome was an opportunity to be social, to be competitive, and to belong.

When she said the word “belong,” it all hit me at once. Bernie belonged to us. Despite the fact he was dying, he did not want to give up the feeling of being part of our team. Belonging meant family. In his darkest hour, he needed to belong more than he needed the rest.

Colony, like many companies, is undergoing an internal self-examination about diversity, equity, and inclusion. Some companies add “belonging” to this list and I have resisted. Companies create atmospheres that have diversity, equity and inclusion built in, but belonging is what people feel when these companies build their cultures correctly. We cannot outright control how people feel, but we can set the table so that everyone feels welcome.

And this is what has escaped me about sports. Sports welcomes everyone. If you can’t play you can coach, you can cheer, you can memorize statistics, you can watch games with your buddies. Adaptive sports are even better because even more people get to play. And when your team wins, we all get the rush of being part of something greater. In 2004 when the Red Sox curse was finally lifted, I belonged. I was part of history and felt the connection to my father and to my son. That day, I felt the connection that teams offer.

Brene Brown noted, “We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, to be loved and to belong. When those needs are not met, we don’t function as we were meant to. We break, We fall apart….

We get sick.” For some people, being on a team or even caring about a team is enough. For Bernie, Colony was his team. We were enough. We kept him healthy. Belonging kept him alive even longer.

Cheers to our teammate, Bernie, and to all those on his team that helped set the table so he could belong.

Marianne Delorey, Ph.D. is the Executive Director of Colony Retirement Homes. She can be reached at 508-755-0444 or mdelorey@colonyretirement. com and www.colonyretirementhomes. com.

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fiftyplus advocate + MAY 2022 + www.fiftyplusadvocate.com

viewpoint

A guilty pleasure, but I don’t feel guilty

By Janice Lindsay Contributing Writer

W

hen my mother gave me an age-softened novel called “The Woman-Haters,” I was not excited about reading it, being a woman. But I needn’t have worried. The author was Joseph C. Lincoln. In his novels, nobody really hates anybody.

Most people haven’t heard of Joseph C. Lincoln, and I hadn’t, either. But after that first novel, he became a guilty pleasure.

Lincoln was born in 1870 and raised on Cape Cod. Between 1904 and 1943, he wrote about 40 novels, as well as poems and short stories, centered in fictional Ostable county on the Cape.

His novels are full of quirky, likable, funny, and memorable small-town Yankee characters. He was enormously popular in the first half of the last century.

My mother knew his books because, when she was young, her grandfather bought them, read them, and

passed them along to her.

In “The Woman-Haters,” published in 1913, an older gentleman, once disappointed in love, isolates himself in a Cape Cod seaside cottage. One day on the beach, he finds a younger man, nearly drowned, who has “fallen” off a steamer to escape the fiancée his family has chosen for him. The older man invites the younger to stay with him.

Then, who should move into the neighboring cottage but the older man’s former love and a beautiful young woman.

You can guess how it ends. Lincoln’s novels have only happy endings. The fun is watching the story unfold.

(In 2009, this yarn became a movie, “The Lightkeepers,” starring Bruce Dern, Richard Dreyfuss, Blythe Danner, Julie Harris, and others.)

Once I read “The Woman-Haters” I was hooked and went looking for more. I found no Joseph C. Lincolns in the library. A few are available online.

Secondhand book shops are the best bet and I discovered one shop that had a pile of them. I’ve read 22 of the novels. I carry my list with me everywhere, in case I stumble upon some I haven’t read.

I call Lincoln a guilty pleasure be-

cause, as a relatively educated person, I feel as if I should be reading Great Literature. By Famous Authors. On Serious Subjects. I’m guessing that Lincoln’s books aren’t required reading in any institution of higher learning. No book reviewer ever says, “This new author will remind you of Joseph. C. Lincoln.” You don’t see his name among quotations by famous writers.

But if you’re a reader, sometimes you just need an absorbing story with loveable unusual characters, a clever plot, a happy ending, no graphic sex or violence, nothing to cause you anxiety about the Meaning of Life, nothing to keep you awake at night.

A so-called “guilty pleasure” is one that probably doesn’t quite fit your self-image, the image you might like to present, or the image others have of you – sort of like growing up in a household where classical music is The Thing and you go along, while knowing that, in you heart, you much prefer Country. Or vice versa.

Mr. Lincoln has taught me that if I enjoy something and it hurts no one, there’s no real “guilt” in guilty pleasure.

So here I am, publicly confessing that I’m not quite as cultured as perhaps I

should be and, further, confessing that I don’t worry about it. I like what I like.

Each one of us is a mass of contradictions anyway.

Since I began reading Joseph C. Lincoln, I’ve met three other fans, more than I would have expected of an author long dead whose books will never be considered classics. I’ll bet we’re not the only ones with this not-so-guilty pleasure.

Contact jlindsay@tidewater.net

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Rockport’s ‘Paper House’ has endured for a century Rockport’s Paper House celebrates its 100th birthday this year.

By Sharon Longo Contributing Writer ROCKPORT – In 1922, Elis F. Stenman decided to build a summer home in Rockport, just minutes from the Atlantic Ocean. He began the endeavor, deciding to use newspapers for insulation. He rolled the parchment into thin rods, filling in any spaces between the wooden pieces of the frame, floors and shingled roof. He began gluing sheets of newspaper together, about 215 pieces thick, to create the one-inch panels for the walls and ceiling. His glue was concocted of flour, water, and some apple peels for added stickiness. The outside walls were news and wallpaper sheets, folded into squares and triangular pieces which were placed decoratively and fastened with upholstery tacks. He chose outer newspaper layers for the headlines or pictures and covered them in waterproof varnish, carefully leaving the print intact. The Paper House still stands 100 years later.

Matching paper furniture Once Elis and his wife, Esther, moved from their year-round home in Cambridge into the paper abode, he began creating the sturdy furnishings using the same rolled rods as the insulation. About one half inch thick, the rods were cut to various lengths and glued or nailed into place. Chairs, bookshelves, tables, a cot and even a floor lamp graced the interior, each piece displaying newspapers or articles about a certain topic. A writing desk was comprised of various articles about Charles Lindbergh’s flight to Paris in 1927. A grandfather clock front displays papers from the original 48 states and their capitals. A real piano, as well as the mantle of a working brick fireplace were also covered in paper, continuing the motif. Esther also wove strips from magazine covers into panels, creating drapes for the windows.

Taking care of a family heirloom Edna Beaudoin is the grandniece of Elis Stenman. The Stenmans raised Ed-

• 15

the elements. In an interview with the Cape Ann Sun in 1996, Edna mentioned that some rain and snow sometimes blew in, but while added varnish helped protect the outside of the home, the inside had been left unvarnished to avoid darkening the walls and making the newspapers difficult to read.

Who builds a paper house?

Stenman was a mechanical engineer, and ironically, one of the designers of the machines that make the simple tool, the paper clip. His technical, as well as artistic and creative influences are apparent throughout.

The house’s sunroom has paper chairs, lamps and curtains.

If you go The house is open daily from April through October, 10:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. Admission is paid on the “honor system” with adults $2.00 and children 6-14 $1.00. To reach the house, follow signs in Rockport for 127 North heading toward Pigeon Cove and passing the Yankee Clipper Inn. Make the second left onto Curtis Street and another left onto Pigeon Hill Street.

Follow the road to number 52 on the right.

For more information visit https:// www.paperhouserockport.com/or email paperhouse52@hotmail.com.

na’s mother as a baby after her parents died. Edna considered Esther a grandmother, but Elis had passed when she was a baby. The home became an unofficial attraction shortly after the Stenmans moved in, as word spread about the unique dwelling. Once Esther passed, the home-turned-museum charged ten cents admission, and Edna continued to preserve the family legacy.

Almost all the necessary comforts Elis built the house with electricity and running water, but without a bathroom. An outhouse had been part of the property but not made of paper. Stenman added a porch during the 1930s, and this, with the roof shingles, helped keep some of the walls protected from

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fiftyplus advocate + MAY 2022 + www.fiftyplusadvocate.com

Slowing down the aging process may not be as hard as you think

By Colin McCandless Contributing Writer BOSTON - As we get older most everyone wants to tap into the fountain of youth and learn how to stay healthy as we age and minimize the effects of Father Time. Some habits conducive to healthier aging are self-explanatory: don’t smoke or quit smoking if you still do, drink alcohol in moderation and protect yourself from harmful UV rays by wearing sunscreen to lower the risk of skin cancer and premature skin aging.

mack Graduate School, explained that aging is not considered a discipline but rather is known as the “field of aging.” The field of aging encompasses every facet of life including finance, nutrition, exercise, social engagement and mental health.

Birchander, an expert in the areas of health and physical aspects of aging, social aspects of aging and the psychology of aging, said that when it comes to aging the “decline is gradual,” but as people reach the 60 to 65 age range, “the slope becomes more pronounced.”

The good news Others might require more attention, but the good news is that you don’t have to do anything drastically different than when you were younger. However, you do need to make certain behavioral modifications.

Ellen Birchander, MSW, the graduate program director of University of Massachusetts Boston’s Department of Gerontology, McCor-

Preventative maintenance While diet and exercise are part of staying healthy as you age, they were no less important to your overall health and wellness when you were younger, Birchander noted.

“The difference is that as you get older you need to pay more attention to them and take into account changes occurring in your body. You don’t need the same number of calories, but you need the same amount

While physical health is important, it’s equally important to be socially and mentally engaged.

Until you die, you have contributions to make.

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www.fiftyplusadvocate.com + MAY 2022 + fiftyplus advocate

• 17

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You don’t need the same number of calories in your diet as you get older, but you need the same amount of nutrients.

of nutrients,” she remarked.

This entails making lifestyle changes and dietary adjustments to ensure you’re eating well-balanced meals and getting the most nutrition possible out of the meals you prepare. Limiting those burgers and fries to special occasions becomes paramount. WebMD recommends eating a diet rich in fruits, leafy greens, nuts and seeds, whole grains and fatty fish including salmon, sardines and tuna, and avoiding processed and sugary foods to help reduce inflammation, which increases with age.

You may also need more exercise to maintain muscle mass. “Physical health and being active daily is key,” said Birchander, though the amount or time one needs to dedicate to exercise varies by the individual.

“Nobody dies from old age,” stated Birchander. “You die from diseases.” Staying healthier as you age requires more of what Birchander described as “preventative maintenance.”

Other factors to heed as you age Diet and exercise aren’t the only factors that affect healthy aging.

“While physical health is important, it’s equally important to be socially and mentally engaged,” commented Birchander. “Until you die, you have contributions to make.”

These contributions might involve work, family or volunteering, and they can all benefit your health, she said. There are also high correlations between isolation and mental health issues such as anxiety and depression, Birchander added. “It’s just as important to take care of your mental health as it is your physical

health.”

Another major aspect to pay attention to is genetics. If you have a history of a particular disease or diseases in your family, Birchander advised that it would be prudent to monitor for those conditions and take preventative measures.

She also emphasized the significance of what’s called “productive aging,” which the CDC defines as an “approach that emphasizes the positive aspects of growing older and how individuals can make important contributions to their own lives, their communities and organizations, and society as a whole.”

This can include staying engaged in activities like your job, along with community-based endeavors such as public service and civic engagement, among others. Birchander cited the increasing number of people embarking on second careers as one example of productive aging. As individuals progress into middle age and beyond, they might decide they want to switch careers and pursue a new passion that “provides them satisfaction through meaningful work and contributions to society,” she said.

Ultimately, when it comes to healthy aging and slowing the aging process, like most things in life, “there’s no magic bullet,” maintained Birchander, “because everyone’s different.” But paying attention to your mental and physical health can help you maintain a better quality of life.

“As you age, your priorities really don’t shift,” she said. “It’s finding meaning in what you do. You have to do something that brings meaning to your life.”

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18 •

fiftyplus advocate + MAY 2022 + www.fiftyplusadvocate.com

Many adults over sixty serving as caregivers for their very elderly parents Sheryl Sigel of North Grafton serves as a caregiver to her mother, Elaine Kulberg, who is in her nineties.

By Nance Ebert Contributing Writer REGION - People today are living longer lives, thanks to advances in science and medicine. While this is a positive development, it is becoming increasingly common for children over the age of sixty to be taking care of their very elderly and often fragile parents.

This poses many challenges for the older caregiver. Many are dealing with family members who are physically limited, have health issues and some who are lonely or depressed and more.

Mother and daughter share strong bond Sheryl Sigel of North Grafton explains that one of the challenges she finds with her mom, Elaine Kulberg, who is in her nineties, is to constantly combat her loneliness. She continues to find creative ways to help her mother see the value in her life where she is now. She loves being with her mom

and while she acknowledges that it is a huge responsibility, it is one that she gladly takes on.

“A lot of people who she loves are gone. My mom constantly questions how she got to this point. Even though she repeats herself often, I have learned to change the way I respond. Where I used to get angry and correct her, I now act as if I am hearing it for the first time. This has been extremely helpful,” said Sigel.

One of the challenges of caring for a parent when you are getting up in age yourself is finding the time to spend together. We all lead busy lives with work and other commitments.

Even when an aging parent is living in an assisted living type of situation, there never seems to be enough time.

Plus, older family caregivers may have health struggles of their own.

“Before leaving, I always tell my mom that I love her and give her a warm embrace. I think this physical contact also makes a huge difference in her demeanor,” said Sigel.

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www.fiftyplusadvocate.com + MAY 2022 + fiftyplus advocate

• 19

Before leaving, I always tell my mom that I love her and give her a warm embrace.

I think this physical contact also makes a huge difference in her demeanor.

— Sheryl Sigel

Marlborough program offers social outlet Trish Pope, Executive Director for the Council on Aging at the Marlborough Senior Center, made mention of an ongoing program called Daybreak that offers a four-hour session once each week where caregivers can bring their aging family member to interact with other seniors.

“This program offers the caretaker a well-needed break and benefits both the caregiver and their loved one. It is a chance to take a breath and recharge. A lot of other social day programs are cost prohibitive,” said Pope.

not just family members. Aides and staff are spread very thin as well,” said Opper.

During COVID, she started a Facebook support group called The Oasis for caregivers. Her goal was specifically to give caregivers some compassion in making some tough decisions for their elders at home. It also provides an escape to vent and share their feelings and help with guilt associated with burnout.

Heather Trafton, President of the Mass Advantage health plan, shared a wealth of helpful tips, as she also worked directly with a senior population as a practicing physician assistant for many years.

“First and foremost is safety in the home for independent living and fall prevention. Medication management and knowledge is crucial.

Keeping a list of medications and medical history is so helpful. It can be kept on the refridgerator. The caregiver should also have a copy,” said Trafton.

Understanding benefits like dental, fitness, glasses, hearing aids, food help, over-the-counter reimbursement and more are also important for the caregiver to consider and research. “There are many community service organizations that offer food, transportation and more.

You need to know to ask for these resources. If a parent is complex, they might greatly benefit from a geriatrician,” said Trafton.

Support for family caregivers Cindy Opper, LICSW, has worked for almost thirty years as a psychotherapist and consultant to nursing homes. She specializes in geriatric mental health, providing caregiver support and promoting successful aging. She works directly with residents struggling with their emotions of not wanting to burden family members. Many are very angry and have given up to the point that they no longer have the will to live.

“In generations past, it was common for families to simply have an aging parent live with them. Today, there is a guilt factor with not caring for an aging loved one at home.

Caregiving burnout and stress is also a real thing and many experience it,

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fiftyplus advocate + MAY 2022 + www.fiftyplusadvocate.com

BECOME A SENIOR VOLUNTEER Make Giving Back Your Second Act The Family Services of Central MA network of AmeriCorps Seniors Volunteers, aged 55 and over, share their life experiences and positive outlook to make a difference in the lives of others and their communities.

Engage one-on-one with another senior, pursue a cause close to your heart, or assist with a critical initiative such as the Senior Fraud Helpline, which assists seniors to

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