CM: Rumson • Fair Haven • Little Silver • Red Bank • Locust • Sea Bright - August 2022

Alyssa Geary

Monmouth County Teacher of the Year

Back to School Issue AUGUST 202 2 RUMSON • FAIR HAVEN • LITTLE SILVER RED BANK • SEA BRIGHT • LOCUST PHOTO: M ELIS SA A MOR ELLI

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Tell us about them, we would love to spotlight them in future editions of CM. You can do this by emailing: info@communitymagazinenj.com For our media kit & rates, email: advertising@communitymagazinenj.com Community Magazine takes no responsibility for the content of any advertisement nor does it guarantee the accuracy, veracity or truthfulness of any statement made in any advertisement. Any and all liability for any claims resulting from the content of any advertisement published by Community Magazine is solely the responsibility of the advertiser. Community Magazine is owned and operated by Direct Development, LLC.

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Community Runs Together Again

Red Bank Classic 5K Returns with Over 1,400 Runners & Walkers to Benefit the YMCA For the first time since 2019, more than 1,400 runners and walkers returned to the heart of Red Bank in June for the Red Bank Classic 5K and Kids Fun Run to benefit youth programs at the local YMCA. Organized and hosted by the Red Bank Business Alliance and Red Bank RiverCenter, the 5K was presented by co-sponsors Boondocks Fishery and The Grunin Foundation, with support from over 50 local businesses and scores of volunteers.

“This was the one of Red Bank’s biggest outdoor events to make a comeback after COVID-19 halted large gatherings,” noted Jamie Edelbach, marketing manager for Red Bank RiverCenter and one of

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the event coordinators. “We’re so grateful for the tremendous support from our local business community, all the walkers and runners, and the event committee. It truly was a classic comeback,” Edelbach said.

Following the 5K and kids run, runners, walkers and spectators enjoyed live music from the Victoria Taylor Band and an after-party hosted by Red Tank Brewing Company.

A portion of the event proceeds will support programs at the Red Bank Family YMCA to help local children recover from impacts of the pandemic and underwrite free swim lessons for Red Bank third-graders.

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(1) Runners take off on the 3.1 mile run/walk through Red Bank at the Red Bank Classic. (2) The “Run for Tania” Team ran and walked in memory of one of the race’s founding organizers, Tania Lisitski, who recently passed away after a long battle with cancer. (3) Volunteers from the Red Bank Family YMCA, beneficiary of the Red Bank Classic, get ready to lend a hand before the start of the run/walk. (4) Red Bank Classic 5K Committee member Anthony Setaro takes a break from his duties as event emcee to spend time with his family: wife Courtney and children, Aidan, 4 and Liliana, 1. (5) Children sprint down Monmouth Street in the Red Bank Classic fun run. (6) The top female finishers (l to r): Megan Flynn, Ringoes, 2nd place; Shannon McCarthy, Hoboken, 1st place; and Erika Flores, South Bound Brook, 3rd place. (7) The top male finishers (l to r): Sean Donohue, Middletown, 1st place; Ryan Mulligan, Hazlet, 2nd place; and Ean Jaffe, Holmdel, 3rd place. (8) 5K committee member Jamie Edelbach with Mayor Pasquale Menna. (9) The “LobStar” running team from Boondocks Fishery, a presenting sponsor: (l to r) Remi Ryan, Red Bank; owner Kelly Ryan, Highlands; Kate MacLeod, Rumson; and Emma Bott, Middletown. (10) Claire Arno of Holmdel raises her arms as she crosses the finish line in memory of her 11-year-old grandson Luca who died of cancer in 2019.

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Photos: John Vitollo

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Anita Roselle: The Quintessential Philanthropist Anita Roselle is a woman of purpose and passion; she loudly loves her family and friends, and tirelessly works to give back to the community and the many charities and nonprofit organizations she represents. Anita's altruistic way of helping others, mainly those she will never meet, is the foundation of her being.

Roselle was recently honored at Monmouth Park Charity Fund's (MPCF) 17th Annual Kentucky Derby, specifically for her “tireless advocacy of many local charities and for leadership in driving philanthropy to humanitarian missions.” In addition to serving Monmouth Park Charity Fund, Anita's philanthropic highlights include: Chairwoman of ARC of Monmouth's Winter Glow Ball for 25 years, transforming it to the “Event of the Year” to attend; serving on the Board of Trustees for Jersey Shore University Medical Center and Hackensack Meridian Riverview Medical Center; and board member of Friends of the Monmouth County Child Advocacy Center and the Muscular Dystrophy Association. For eight years, Anita chaired the Brookdale Community College Presidents' Ball along with Monmouth University’s Scholarship Ball Ad Journal, and was chairwoman of MU's Parent Fund Raising. She is a founding member of the MPCF Winner's Circle, and also chaired the Boy Scouts Joshua Huddy Awards Dinner.

Anita continues to serve as a board member for the Parker Family Health Center, and, as a founding member, she serves on the Hackensack Meridian Health’s Women’s Heart Fund. Anita and her husband, Joe, are scholarship donors to Brookdale Community College and Monmouth University. They are supporters of Count Basie Theatre, where she is a member of the Gala Committee. For many years, Anita has chaired the VNA Auction Committee for their annual Summer Gala.

She has received many honors for her charitable leadership, among others: Eastern Chamber of Commerce “Spinnaker Award”, The National Conference of Christians and Jews Humanitarian Award, 2000 Brookdale Community College “Woman of the Year” Award, 2000 FoodBank of Monmouth & Ocean Counties “Humanitarian of the Year” Award, 2001 Girl Scouts of the Jersey Shore “Woman of Distinction” Award 2003 Monmouth Council of Boy Scouts “Joshua Huddy Award”, 2006 Monmouth County Child Advocacy Center “Woman of the Year” Award, and 2007 Dama of the Order of Merit of Savoy.

Anita Roselle

JW: What is the next big thing for you?

Anita: Well, the next big thing is getting together with more of our family and friends who we have not shared as much time with over the last couple of years due to the pandemic and of course I am always working with various charities to to plan our next big event! So stay tuned... the events are in full swing now and there is a lot more to come!

For the full interview, visit CommunityMagazineNJ.com

Jeanne Wall (JW): When did you first become involved with giving back, and where did you get your inspiration for giving?

Anita: I began my charitable involvement in the mid-70's with ARC of Monmouth County. I really don't remember a time since then that I was not involved in planning a charity event or raising funds somehow for one. Really it almost feels selfish because it truly brings me so much pleasure to serve and to give. As for my inspiration for giving my mother and father were very giving people, very conservative, but very giving.

JW: Can you share a little about the family life that you and your husband Joey have built?

Anita: Since 1964 we have enjoyed life in Monmouth County. We now also live 6 months in Florida and modern technology has made the distance much easier to continue our regular life back home when there.

We are very fortunate to have a very loving and close family. Joey and I have two incredible children that we adore; Veronica and Peter. We have a new daughter-in-law Kristina, and we have a very special blessing, our granddaughter, Valentina Faith.

Our son has learned the garbage business over the years working with our company, and now Peter has his own garbage company as well. We share many happy gatherings together in NJ and FL and as soon as we enjoy one special occasion together, we begin to plan for the next. Both Joey and I love entertaining family and friends and supporting our local charities we are involved with.

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Anita Roselle (seated, center in white) surrounded by family and close friends at Monmouth Park Charity Fund’s Kentucky Derby Celebration 2022. Photo Credit: EQUI-PHOTO/Bill Denver

By Jeanne Wall Publisher and Editor, TAPinto Holmdel, Colts Neck & Middletown Sign-up for free daily online news for Holmdel & Colts Neck at TAPinto.net/enews.

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Fair Haven Firecracker 5k Draws Runners of All Ages Kids and adults came out to shake their legs at the 2nd Annual Fair Haven Firecracker 5k last month.

The winners of the four-lap course were Fair Haven residents Erin Rehm striding in with a 25:00 and Ryan Corbett with a blazing 18:50 time. In the high school category, Cooper Scott and Elizabeth Rodriguez, both of RFH High School, crossed the finish line to lead their group categories. And in the new "kids" division, Ally Hathaway and Finnley Reid proudly hoisted the red firecracker trophies.

“Having the community come together in our parks is a great way to connect and make use of our wonderful outdoor spaces,” said Fair Haven Council President Christopher Rodriguez. “This race was the second of what we hope will be many more, building a tradition for the Fourth of July holiday weekend in town. By crowdsourcing and using volunteers, we were able to keep the event free and fun for all involved.”

The Fair Haven Firecracker 5k and the companion race, the Fair Haven Turkey Trot are becoming staples for the town. If you’re interested in volunteering in the future, please contact the race organizer at crod1972@gmail.com.

Fair Haven Firecracker 5K winners (back row, left to right) Chris Rodriguez (race organizer), Cooper Scott, Ryan Corbett (front row, left to right) Ally Hathaway, Elizabeth Rodriguez, Finnley Reid, Erin Rehm (Photo Credit: Erin Howard)

RFH Board of Education Appoints New Superintendent The Rumson-Fair Haven Regional Board of Education announced the appointment and unanimous approval of Darren J. Groh as its next Superintendent of Schools effective July 1.

Groh is an inspiring leader, and brings over two decades of educational experience as a teacher, assistant principal, and for the past 16 years the Principal of Chatham High School. As the building leader for Chatham High School, Groh has an invaluable amount of experience which includes identifying academic areas in need of support, attracting, recruiting, and retaining talent as well as overseeing multiple million-dollar construction projects.

“The Board was very pleased with the quality of candidates interested in leading RFH,” said Annie McGinty, RFH Board President.

“What separated Mr. Groh was his success in leading a highly successful leadership team for so many years and his focus on all of our kids, from the highest achieving to those in need of the greatest support.”

“I am looking forward to getting started,” said Darren J. Groh. “The RFH Strategic Plan truly complements my previous experience. RFH is a great community, and I am hoping to add to its continued success.”

Matthew Schmitt Places First in National Competition

By Susan Murphy

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Annie McGinty, Board of Education President and Joseph Kenney, Board of Education Vice-President, with Darren J. Groh after his appointment on March 28.

Recent Red Bank Regional High School graduate Matthew Schmitt, 18, Little Silver, placed First in the Nation in the category of Network Infrastructure at the Future Business Leaders of America (FBLA) National Conference at the McCormick Center in Chicago last month. FBLA invites the top four students in their category from each state to compete in this event. In September, Matthew will be attending Stevens Institute of Technology, Hoboken, as a Pinnacle Scholar.

Matthew became involved in the FBLA program in his sophomore year of high school. That same year he competed in Introduction to Information Technology and won both regional and state, as well as placing ninth in the national competition. In his junior year, Matthew competed in Cybersecurity and won in the regional, placed third in the state, and finished sixth in the nation.

This year, he competed in Network Infrastructure and won at every level.

Since his freshman year, Matthew has been part of the Academy of Information Technology (IT Academy), located in the high school, and

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studied cybersecurity, programming, and computer forensics. Winning first place nationally in the category of Network Infrastructure has had a definite impact on Matthew, as well as his plans for his future.

“I understand that everyone that I competed against placed profuse effort into preparing for the exam and I feel honored to have performed exceptionally,” said Matthew. “I feel that the largest impact for my future is that I learned that challenging oneself ameliorates one’s abilities. I will continue to do so in college and in my career.”

Jeremiah Milonas, the high school/FBLA Advisor, praised Matthew’s accomplishment. “Matthew is a tremendous talent. It is so impressive to place first in the country in the FBLA Networking Infrastructure competition, but for him to place nationally all three years he has competed is unbelievable. Matthew works so hard but I shouldn’t call it work because he loves computing so much.

I can’t wait to hear about all his amazing accomplishments going forward.”

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Historical Commission Announces Essay Contest Winners

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Historical Commissioner Glenn Cashion presented Madeline Dougherty from St. Leo the Great School with a third-place award for her essay, Twin Lights History.

The Monmouth County Historical Commission recently honored local students for their creative achievements by announcing the winners of the History Essay Contest for fifth grade students.

“This year marks the Historical Commission’s 29th year of holding the annual essay contest, and each year I am captivated by the student’s historical essays,” said Commissioner Lillian G. Burry. “Many of our students write about historical sites they visited, and some write about their family’s history, which we believe helps increase their interest in history.”

The Historical Commission recognized the following as winners of the 2022 Fifth-Grade History Essay Contest Award.

James Badishkanian from Oak Hill Academy was awarded first place for his essay, A Boy From Dikranagerd. Second place went to Riley Lanigan from Atlantic Highlands Elementary School for her essay, The Presidential Table. Third place was awarded to Madeline Dougherty from St. Leo the Great School for her essay, Twin Lights History, and to Julianna Saliga from St. James Elementary School for her essay, The Vietnam War Memorial Museum.

For more information about the County’s Historical Commission, go to visitmonmouth.com.

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Local Juniors are “Crushing” the Sport of Squash 19 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE & OVER $190 MILLION IN CLOSED REAL ESTATE.... AND GROWING

L to R: Krish Nekkanti, Ingy Ali and Suhaas Nekkanti during a squash lesson.

By LiliAnn Paras Playing squash is enjoyed by more than 25 million players in 185 countries and counting. According to US Squash, our country has shown the fastest growing participation worldwide, with junior level participation growing by 20 to 30 percent annually. Enthusiasm for the sport among juniors is growing in Monmouth County too, where local pro squash coach, Ingy Ali, is helping junior level players attain impressive achievements. She has stellar credentials in the world of squash, beginning play at the age of eight in Cairo, and ultimately ranking number four in Egypt. There, she became the first certified female padel coach and received many awards.

For years she has focused on translating her skills on the court to coaching junior players in Egypt and now from her position at Monmouth Squash Club & Swim School in Sea Bright.

“It’s great to have your passions together in one place: kids and coaching!” shared Ingy. “I enjoy every second, seeing the trainees’ love of the game, and I enjoy being part of achieving their goals and dreams.”

Local students recently received high rankings at Gold/ Silver/Bronze National and Junior Championship Tour (JCT) tournaments: Krish Nekkanti from Holmdel - First place in K-team US Squash Gold Tournament- Boys U11, 7-8 position in JCT US Squash Tournament- Boys U11, and 7-8 position in Ohio, US Squash Gold Tournament- Boys U13; Suhaas Nekkanti from Holmdel - 7-8 position in Boston US Squash Gold tournament- Boys U13 and 7-8 position in MSQUASH -US Squash Tournament- Boys U15; Reid Goodman from Sea Girt - First place in Squash Tigers -US Squash TournamentBoys U13; and Chayce Glass from Oceanport - 4th position in Squash Tigers - US Squash Tournament- Boys U13.

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Meet Your Neighbor

Nicole Monat, Founder of Friends Grow Friends

By LiliAnn Paras “Relationships are the fabric of society, and all it takes is one special connection to change your life,” shared Nicole Monat, Founder and Program Director of Friends Grow Friends (FGF), a nonprofit in Monmouth County. For many children, socializing does not come naturally and can cause a great deal of stress. Nicole created FGF to provide friendship groups for children in grades K-12, where those who struggle socially--with or without a diagnosis of special needs-can practice and develop social skills and make new friends. Nicole lives in Fair Haven with her husband, Jeff, and their three sons, Sam 12, Max 9, and Ben 7 (and pet fish, Mr. Crabs). CM met with Nicole to learn how the organization arose and who may benefit from participation.

CM: What led you to create Friends Grow Friends (FGF)?

Nicole: In addition to running FGF, my greatest role is being a mother to my three boys. Sam, 12, carries diagnoses of High Functioning Autism Spectrum Disorder and ADHD. His treatment began from the age of 16 months, and, throughout this journey, I have been heavily involved in every aspect of Sam’s development.

My vision for FGF came from the social progress that Sam was able to attain during facilitated play dates. I thought about how this model of support could greatly benefit other children — interacting with their peers in typical scenarios. Thus, FGF (first called Social Smarts) was born!

CM: What types of programs are offered?

Nicole: We select different activities to address a variety of social skills in a natural environment. Our instructors serve as coaches, and we highlight “teachable” moments and reinforce appropriate social behavior. Each group typically begins with an interactive lesson/discussion to highlight the skills that we will be working on, including flexibility, making new friends, asking someone to “hangout”/play, identifying common interests, teamwork, and frustration management. Conversation is also a big part of every group!

CM: What are some of the success stories in the different age groups?

Nicole: When we first started our middle school group in 2019, the most common notes on the registration form were that the child did not have friends or did not make friends easily. It hurt me that so many of these kids were lonely. As I watched the group begin and the conversations and activities unfold, tears came to my eyes, but not because I was sad — these kids were talking with one another, finding common interests, smiling, laughing, and enjoying themselves. It was truly in that moment that I understood the impact my team and this organization were having on children and their families. In the younger group, one of our elementary students ran up to his mom and introduced the other kids to her as his friends. And our high school group has been exchanging phone numbers and discussing plans to play video games together (outside of FGF)!

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CM: What are some highlights of the FGF programs?

Nicole: We recognize there is not a one-size-fits-all approach in helping children in their social development and we are creative in developing support plans to build confidence. We have been fortunate to attract tremendous talent--teachers, specialists in speech and psychology, social workers, school counselors, behavior technicians, and volunteers. Our groups also include peer mentors, as well as high school mentors. These mentors provide a strong example of pro-social behavior, help naturally facilitate conversations, and give positive and respectful peer-to-peer feedback. The children don’t know who is a peer mentor and who is not — everyone participates in the same way! We have received wonderfully positive feedback from schools and private service providers about the changes they see in their students/clients.

CM: What philosophy guides the FGF mission?

Nicole: “Fitting in” doesn’t mean being like everyone else; it’s about finding the people who allow you to feel comfortable to be yourself.

All kids deserve to have a happy and fulfilling childhood.

Alyssa Geary Monmouth County Teacher of the Year

BY CATHY PADILLA | PHOTO MELISSA AMORELLI

As summer days at the shore give way to the excitement of a brand-new school year, we caught up with the Monmouth County Teacher of the Year for 2021-2022, Special Education and English Language Arts Teacher Alyssa Geary. Alyssa teaches at Red Bank Middle School and lives in Middletown with her husband, Pete; their two toddlers, fouryear-old Finn and four-month-old Sean; and their fourteen-yearold pit bull, Murphy. A six-year resident of Monmouth County, she has spent the past few years making her mark. Named the Governor’s Educator of the year for 2020-2021, Alyssa was invited to be a guest speaker on PBS’s Think Tank with Steve Adubato.

She was one of the final four educators for the 2022 New Jersey State Teacher of the Year and a finalist for the Princeton Prize for Distinguished Secondary School Teaching. Here’s the CM interview with award-winning educator, Alyssa Geary.

CM: What does being named the Monmouth County Teacher of the Year mean to you?

Alyssa: I see this honor as a

testament to my love for teaching and my commitment to my students. It also means that I’ve been guided and mentored along the way by tremendous peers and colleagues. I hope to use this platform to lift and connect educators. There are many outstanding teachers throughout Monmouth County who are equally as deserving, if not more deserving, of recognition. I’d like to shed some light on their collective efforts, and the contributions they bring to their communities and students.

I love that much of my work is individualized; it changes from year to year, student to student. It’s motivating and rewarding when the puzzle pieces come together, and the ‘lightbulb’ moment happens for students.

CM: Why did you choose Red Bank Middle School, and what about the town is special to you?

Alyssa: Prior to teaching at

of many teachers, so I knew from a very young age that I wanted to be an educator.

I have always valued learning and genuinely loved helping people. I was the kid who played ‘school’ and I also spent a lot of time reading and writing my own stories, so it was a natural move to become an English Language Arts teacher. The motivation to provide equity and access as a special educator was largely imprinted through my relationship with one of my siblings who has an auditory processing disorder.

Red Bank Middle School, I taught at middle schools in Brooklyn, NY and in Bayonne, NJ. I value my time in those positions, and so much of who I am as an educator holds roots there.

However, there’s a saying, ‘It takes a village’ when raising a child and when my husband and I bought a home in Monmouth County, I knew I also wanted to find a position nearby that would allow me to build my career and my family in tandem. What I’ve found working at Red Bank Middle School has been so much more than I could have envisioned. It’s such a vibrant district, with camaraderie, support, and community.

Each district and school have a certain pulse, and I’ve found the heartbeat of our school has a deep level of care and commitment to the good of the whole and to the success of the students.

CM: Why are you passionate about teaching?

Alyssa: I love encouraging

CM: What sets you apart from other teachers?

Alyssa: I welcome change,

CM: Why did you choose education and specifically your discipline?

Alyssa: I grew up in a family

students to read and write diverse stories in order to help foster empathy, self-advocacy, and finding value in their identities. I’m also really interested in the science behind reading and gathering the perfect blend of curriculum, interventions, and accommodations for the students I serve.

feedback, and risk-taking over adamancy. I’m consistent in my dedication to my students, but I’m not complacent in my practice.

I’ve had many dynamic experiences as an honors English teacher, resource English teacher, in-class support teacher for grades 6-8 English

CIRCLE-CHEVRON-UP

Monmouth County Commissioner Ross Licitra recognizes Alyssa Geary as Monmouth County Teacher of the Year.

CIRCLE-CHEVRON-UP The Geary Family Pete, Finn, Sean and Alyssa

CIRCLE-CHEVRON-LEFT

Murphy Geary, their fourteenyear-old pit bull.

CONTINUED >

“I’ve found the heartbeat of our school has a deep level of care and commitment to the good of the whole and to the success of the students.”

CIRCLE-CHEVRON-UP

classes and co-teacher within ESL (English as a Second Language) integrated classes. I love the challenge of teaching diverse learners and shaking up what I do from year to year. I also put myself out there often. I have tried to invest myself into spaces that allow me to nourish my relationships and contribute some goodness to my school’s culture and climate.

I am an AVID (Advancement Via Individual Determination) site team member, district DREAM team member, former 2nd vice president, and current maternity leave chair of the Red Bank Borough Education Association, former 8th grade team leader, and student council advisor. In each of these uniquely different roles, I’ve been reflective and responsive of my strengths and areas of growth — and act on them.

CM: What is the most rewarding part of your career?

Alyssa: Relationships — they are of-

ten what fuel our ‘why’ as educators and become our most important work.

I have relationships with students and colleagues that extend beyond the classroom walls and a single academic year.

I love when students return to visit or send an email to share something they’re proud of, or just to say hi. Nothing beats that human-to-human connection.

CM: What will you be working on next?

Alyssa: This upcoming year I will be

transitioning to a new position as a

22

Alyssa Geary with her students at their recent 8th grade graduation.

special education instructional coach within Red Bank Middle and Primary Schools. This is a position that has never existed before in my district, so I’m sort of in uncharted territory, but the untapped potential is thrilling. The teachers in my district are outstanding at their craft and I’m excited to get to know many of them better and to work closely with them on a daily basis and on a professional level. There is so much knowledge I want to impart to our newest teaching staff as support, but I’m equally ready to learn from, and share in, our collective knowledge.

CM: What is the most challenging part of teaching for you?

Alyssa: I think to the everyday person,

teaching children and adolescents seems like a breeze — school holidays, half days, summer’s off — but it couldn’t be farther from the truth. Teachers wear many hats, and it can be difficult to juggle all our responsibilities at once while also trying to do right by our students.

While the reward of being able to impact student lives and the surrounding community outweighs any challenges tenfold, I still believe it’s crucial to recognize educators as professionals.

Teacher burnout is real, as is declining retention and recruitment. There is no doubt in my mind that education is one of the best career paths out there, but I worry that we will lose some of the best teachers to professions with better pay and more respect.

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CM: Who has most influenced your career?

Alyssa: My family centers me, and

grounds me, but also pushes me to be a version of myself of which they would be proud. I have the great benefit of my husband also being an English teacher.

He understands firsthand that education is both a profession and a passion.

I never have to explain the time and energy outside of the school day that is put into supporting my students. He gets it because he lives it, too.

CM: What do you do when you’re not working?

Alyssa: Most of my free time is spent

with my family and friends. But I also enjoy gardening with my son, Finn (we’ve finally got tomatoes and strawberries figured out). I have recently been persuaded by my future sister-in-law to try my hand at crocheting — I’m not very good, yet.

CM: What is your best life tip to share?

Alyssa: You don’t have to try to tackle

everything on your own. Being driven and independent doesn’t mean you have to be isolated. Find your people. Having a network of support helps to grow both professionally and personally.

CM: What is your favorite quote?

Alyssa: “…someday you will be old

enough to start reading fairy tales again.”

- C.S. Lewis, The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe

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Back to School — Now What?

Next month the children will return to school after a long, hot summer. Camps, vacations, and just having the children home all the time is enough for any parent to worry about. Having the children around all day, all summer, no matter their ages, is time consuming and requires your full attention.

But what happens when they go back to school? You have more time to focus on the state of your marriage. Is it worth saving?

Does she want to save it? Does he want to save it? What do we have to do to save it?

Or, conversely, if you conclude that divorce is inevitable, what do I do now? What am I facing? Will I survive? Will the children survive? Most family lawyers will tell you that they see an increase in new clients within a month or so after Labor Day for just this reason. The children are back to school and the adults have more time to focus on their very real personal concerns.

So, what should you do if the state of your marriage has you preoccupied or even causes you to lose sleep at night? The threshold

decision to be made is whether you think the marriage is worth saving and whether your spouse agrees. If so, counseling is required because a relationship that reaches this point will require professional help if it is to have a chance of being salvaged.

And, of course, this requires the unqualified commitment of both spouses to do the hard work that counseling requires. Without it, any attempt to reconcile is doomed to fail.

And if you conclude that your marriage isn’t worth saving or can’t be saved, what do you do? First, don’t panic. You may need to consider individual counseling to help you get through the emotional rough spots or to navigate the bumpy stressful road ahead.

Second, try to put aside emotion (easy to say, hard to do) to realistically consider life (the children’s, your spouse’s and yours) after divorce. Which parent should the children primarily live with? Think about what makes sense for them, not about an emotional need to win or to get revenge. How much support is needed? How much can be afforded? Every need and desire can’t al-

Peter C. Paras is a shareholder in the Family Law Firm of Paras, Apy & Reiss, P.C. For more information please see the firm’s website at www.par-law.com.

ways be met. Two people have to live – in separate households – after the divorce.

That adds expenses with generally no increase in income.

These are just a few examples of the plethora of issues that intersect divorce. Divorce affects every family member and every family member’s needs must be considered when trying to reach a resolution. You’ll need the guidance of an experienced family lawyer to help you answer these questions, to make sure you haven’t forgotten important issues, and to set reasonable expectations for you.

Thinking about a broken relationship and the possibility of ending a marriage is daunting. It isn’t pleasant, but ignoring it doesn’t change the fact that you are unhappy. So once the children go back to school and you have time to think – THINK! And then engage professionals to help you down the path you choose. Life is too short to live in a broken marriage. You can either work to fix it or work to end it, but ignoring it doesn’t work at all.

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Lemmy of Asbury Park Maia of Rumson Bodie of Rumson

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Ernie of Red BankAtticus of Holmdel

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Daisy & Lilly of Rumson Caymus & Max of Lincroft

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Juno & Koda of Holmdel

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Buddy & Belle of Holmdel

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Continued on Page 66

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StreetLife Every Saturday Now through August 27 All summer long the sidewalks come to life with performances from local musicians and artists! Performances take place at various locations throughout the Red Bank business district, weather permitting. More info at RedBank.org.

Bell Works Fresh Market Every Wednesday through November Saturdays through November A weekly farmers market featuring 50 local artists, makers, farmers, and food purveyors.

Located at Bell Works in Holmdel, a 2 million square foot metroburb. More info at BellWorksFresh.com.

High Tide Makers & Artisans Market Every Friday Now through September 2 From 11:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m., more than 20 artisans and makers will be at a pop-up market in Pier Village, Long Branch, as well as music and activities for children. More info by emailing meryem918@yahoo.com.

Around the World An International Food Festival August 6 This can’t-miss event will feature local food vendors serving up a variety of diverse fare from South American, Asian, European, and more – there promises to be something for everyone. Enjoy live music from 12:00 to 4:00 pm from Pez Head. More info at MonmouthPark.com.

Surf & Turf Seafood Festival August 13 & August 14 Lobster rolls, crab cakes and calamari… oh my! Join in as nearly 20 of the Shore’s best seafood establishments converge for the annual seafood celebration.

Bring your friends or your family, but definitely bring your appetite! More info at MonmouthPark.com.

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Touch-A-Truck August 20 From 11:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. at Bucks Mill Park in Colts Neck, enjoy a family-fun day that includes food trucks, a hot air balloon, classic cars, motorcycles, gift auction, 50/50 raffle, a State Police helicopter and so much more! There is a $5 admission fee for all attendees. More info at AshleyLaurenFoundation.org.

Live & Local Music Festival August 20 This event will showcase some of the Shore’s biggest up-and-coming local bands. For full schedule of bands and performance times, visit MonmouthPark.com.

Fair Haven Firemen’s Fair August 26 through September 2 The firehouse grounds, located at 645 River Road in Fair Haven, are transformed for continued traditions of rides, game booths, fun and 50/50 raffles.

More info at fhfd.org.

FCS Golf Classic August 29 Tee up for families in need at Rumson Country Club for 18-holes of play, a barbecue luncheon, cocktail reception, dinner and awards. Individual golfers are $425 and a foursome is $1,700. Raffle drawing for a trip to Pebble Beach Golf Resort valued at over $16,000. More info at FCSMonmouth.org.

BBQ & NJ Craft Beer Festival September 3 through September 5 From 11:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m., dig into the juiciest barbecue around, featuring a craft beer garden, live music, free Family Fund Day activities, and of course live horse racing. More info at MonmouthPark.com.

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Food Trucktemberest September 10 From 11:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m., sample from nearly 20 of the area’s top food trucks. Enjoy everything from empanadas to lobster rolls. Parking and admission are both FREE. Enjoy live music 12:00 to 4:00 p.m. from Sundries. More info at MonmouthPark.com.

Polo Classic September 11 Enjoy a day at Bucks Mill Park in Colts Neck with family and friends, tailgating, and an exciting polo match-up between Delicious Orchards and Huddy’s.

More info at ColtsNeckBusiness.org.

Middletown Day September 24 From 11:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. at Croydon Hall, the festival will feature the Business and Community Showcase as well as many familiar favorites including a food court, first responder demonstrations, live entertainment, and more!

Visit MiddletownNJ.org for more info.

Fall for Conservation Cocktail Party September 24 This event will be honoring Gloria and Len Nilson and hosted by John and Robin Klein at their estate on the Navesink River from 6:00 to 9:00 p.m. More info at MonmouthConservation.org.

21st Annual Oktoberfest October 1 From 2:00 to 9:00 p.m., enjoy Oompa Bands and dancers, stein holding and costume contests, authentic German food and beer at Veterans Park in Highlands. More info at HighlandsNJ.com.

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Annual Two-Cup Regatta was Held on the Navesink Fair Haven Sailors Win Mayor’s Cup The annual Two Cup Regatta - the Mayor’s Cup and the North Jersey Yacht Racing Association, (NJYRA) Irwin Bowl - was held simultaneously on July 3rd on the Navesink River. A committee of members from the New Jersey Yacht Racing Association organized the regatta - members from Monmouth Boat Club (MBC), Fair Haven Yacht Works, Fair Haven Sailing Club (River Rats), Shrewsbury Sailing Yacht Club (SSYC), and Shrewsbury River Yacht Club (SRYC), which hosts the regatta.

“The thing that I like best about this event is that there’s a lot of camaraderie amongst the club,” said Jon Friedman, commodore of the Shrewsbury River Yacht Club. “And, it really provides an opportunity for every one of all skill levels to participate.”

Presenting the trophies to the winners was Fair Haven Mayor Josh Halpern. Taking home the honors in both categories, Mayor’s Cup in the One Design Fleet and overall winner of the Irwin Bowl

aboard “Bolt” was George Harrington (MBC), and his first mate Christopher Rodriguez (SRYC). Sailing “Confiscated” and winning the Mayor’s Cup for the Cruising Fleet was Sam Oncea and his crew from Shrewsbury River Yacht Club, Ryan Barnett and Mike Bosi, and Stuart Van Winkle of Shrewsbury Sailing Yacht Club in Oceanport.

First place in the Optimist category was Lucas Kantrowitz aboard his boat “The Situation,” and first place honors in the 420 fleet went to Charlotte Richards aboard “Filet”; both sailors are from Monmouth Boat Club in Red Bank.

The Mayor’s Cup Regatta is held annually and brings together many from the peninsula and surrounding communities to enjoy the time-honored tradition on the Navesink. This was the tenth race for the Mayor’s Cup, which was started concurrent with the centennial celebration of Fair Haven in 2012 (no race in 2020).

One Design Crew of “Bolt” (L to R) skipper George Harrington, Fair Haven Mayor Crew for Confiscated toasting (L to R) Sam Oncea, Michael Bosi, Ryan Barnett, Joshua Halpern, first mate Christopher Rodriguez, and Brian Carr and Stuart Van Winkle

Optimist and 420 Winners, Dylan Pagonis, Charlotte Richards, Lucas Kantrowitz and Brian Carr

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Photos: Tom Zapcic Photography

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Lunch Break to Host Annual Community Picnic & Backpack Giveaway on August 20 Lunch Break will host its Annual Community Picnic & Backpack Giveaway on August 20 at Count Basie Field in Red Bank. The resource center also is sponsoring its annual Back to School Drive, benefiting hundreds of financially insecure schoolchildren and their families who rely on the social service resource center for life’s basic necessities, including school supplies, through August 20.

Each year during the annual Community Picnic, upwards of 600 backpacks containing school supplies are distributed to families without the financial means to adequately prepare their children for the upcoming school term. This year’s Community Picnic will take place from 9:00 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. and will feature healthy nutritional picnic fare, sponsored by Lunch Break, Eat Clean Bro and other community partners, in accordance with Lunch Break’s nutrition initiative Healthy Together, as well as games for all ages, and the annual softball championship, all free of charge to community members. Having the required school supplies not only helps to raise children’s self-esteem, it equips them with the tools necessary for a successful learning experience.

Those who would like to donate backpacks and school supplies, including pens and pencils, looseleaf binders and paper, erasers, pencil cases, highlighters, among other traditional items, may do so from 10:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m., Monday through Friday at Family Promise of Monmouth County, located at 501 Malterer Avenue in Oceanport.

“We are grateful to our generous community for helping us to prepare our children for a successful school year,” said Lunch Break Executive Director Gwendolyn Love. “Every child, no matter his or her financial situation, deserves a chance to succeed. These necessary supplies are among the ways we can motivate our youth to engage in the learning experience.”

For more information, visit LunchBreak.org.

Ranney students are not afraid to take risks and are able to thrive even in uncomfortable situations.

Ranney nurtures these qualities through social emotional learning curricula and a community of faculty who make up a strong support system.

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www.ranneyschool.org

A Couple’s Dream of Life on a Farm Leads to Preservation for Future Generations It was 1983. During a trip to the now infamous Delicious Orchards, Mike and Eileen Stivala stumbled across Hidden Valley, a new “farmette community” being developed in Colts Neck. That same day, with their two young kids in tow, the couple signed on and were the first to buy a lot – six-and-a-half acres with plans for a white Connecticut farmhouse.

Eileen’s teenage dream of living on a farm was in motion. In an October 1983 New York Times feature on the growing suburban farmette trend, where farmland was being subdivided into rural homesteads, Eileen was quoted – “To buy a real farm is practically impossible now. This is the closest we could come to it”.

At the time, Mike and Eileen thought they may continue to have their land farmed by a local farmer growing soybeans, or they might give it a try themselves. They opted to go it on their own and started farming the property while continuing to build their family. Mike and Eileen added two more children and additional land for a total of approximately 19 acres.

Nearly four decades later, Mike and Eileen’s love of and appreciation for farming and nature are evident in every corner of their farm. They work and maintain the land using organic practices and ingenuity. Every tree growing on the farm has a story, many rescued from the local plant nursery’s “infirmary” and nursed back to health as seedlings. Fruit trees dot the pastures around the barn. Blueberries and blackberries thrive under protective netting deterring hungry birds. Fields of Japanese eggplant, tomatoes, jalapenos peppers, and pumpkins are guarded by a whimsical, old owl statue. Colorful bluebird boxes are scattered throughout pastures home to spirited alpacas with delightful names such as Darth Vader and Mochaccino.

Eileen, who has a self-taught green thumb, grew plants in her windowsills as a child and today has two greenhouses full of flowers and herbs. She creates custom planters for a small cohort of clients, and Mike helps make rounds to deliver and maintain her colorful masterpieces.

The couple has crafted their farm with sustainable features and a genuine respect for its natural attributes, choosing to live life differently as true stewards of their land. Beyond farming, the Stivalas are resourceful and mindful of sustainable practices, choosing to install a geothermal field for heating and cooling their home and solar panels to provide energy. The farm has also remained a haven for wildlife, offering habitat for a range of birds, deer, small mammals, turtles, and other critters.

Mike's and Eileen’s lifestyle is driven by their desire to maintain the natural, rural appeal of their property – the attributes that arguably attract people to Colts Neck. They opted to make their corner of the earth better and ultimately go on to preserve it for future generations. “Our vision for life on a farm is what motivated us to live in Colts Neck. This area is very special, and we didn’t want to see development change that.”

Thanks to the efforts of Monmouth Conservation Foundation (MCF), the State Agriculture Development Committee, Monmouth County, and Colts Neck Township, the land that Mike and Eileen have been caring for, a quintessential example of rural farm life in Colts Neck, will now be protected forever from encroaching development.

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Monmouth Conservation Foundation is dedicated to creating parks, saving open space, preserving farmland, teaching environmental sustainability, safeguarding waterways, and protecting wildlife. Its charitable work ensures a permanent legacy of open space and natural habitat throughout the county, as Monmouth’s only county-wide land trust. To learn more about Monmouth Conservation Foundation and the NJ Department of Agriculture’s Farmland Preservation Program, visit MonmouthConservation.org.

Mike and Eileen Stivala pictured with their Farm Manager, Mason

The wool from Mochaccino’s annual haircut is turned into yarn used to create alpaca fiber products.

Photo Credit: Jena Cosimo

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United for Impact Wine Event Raised Funds for Local Families in Need Recently, United Way of Monmouth and Ocean Counties (UWMOC) held the United for Impact Wine Event at Patricia’s of Holmdel. Guests sampled a variety of exquisite wines with delicious Italian food provided by the host restaurant.

Proceeds from the event will enable United Way to advance its work in our community to provide resources and support to help families build a pathway to financial stability, expand youth access to health services and opportunities for vocational training.

Thanks to the generosity of guests during the live appeal portion of the evening, enough funds were raised to help 915 local families through United Way’s Basic Needs Initiative – far surpassing the organization’s goal for that night of 500 families helped.

“Financial challenges existed for many families prior to the pandemic, and now many more are having to make difficult decisions about how their limited funds are spent,” said Lori-Anne

McLane, President & CEO of United Way of Monmouth and Ocean Counties. “Our neighbors shouldn’t have to choose between paying bills and purchasing hygiene products for their family, which many people don’t realize are not covered by government aid such as SNAP. Funds raised during our wine event last year helped kick start the Basic Needs Initiative, and the contributions of this year’s guests will help grow it considerably.”

Special thanks to the event’s top supporters for making it such a success: Carol Stillwell; Stillwell-Hansen Inc.; Luke Bollerman; One Willow; ENCON; Grunin Foundation; New Jersey Natural Gas; Privetera’s Florist and Landscape Nursery; Phil & Marilyn Perricone; Elizabeth Von Ziegasar and Patricia’s of Holmdel.

To learn more about United Way of Monmouth and Ocean Counties and the Basic Needs Initiative, visit uwmoc.org.

Members of UWMOC’s Board of Directors and Advisory Council (left to right): Robert Rosone, Board Chair; Henry Hong, Governance Committee Chair; Gabriel Lavigne; Nancy Eriksen, Secretary; Carol Stillwell; Sonia Grant; Lori-Anne McLane, President & CEO; Joe Bonacci; R. Scott Garley

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(1) Left to right: Lori-Anne McLane; Frank Brusco, Owner of Patricia’s of Holmdel; Carol Stillwell, CEO of Stillwell-Hansen; Chef Lenny Dimaria of Patricia’s of Holmdel (2) Left to right: Greg Steinhauser; Joe Bonacci; Nancy Eriksen; Peg Steinhauser; Laura Parello; Stephanie Liskowitz (3) Left to right: Maryann Larkin; Trish and Ron Mattia; Marilyn and Phil Perricone; Carol Stillwell (4) Left to right: Bruce Grant; Sonia Grant; Gabriel Lavigne (5) UWMOC Staff (left to right): Christine Jagerburger, VP of Community Impact; Toni Pitts, Development Manager; Lori-Anne McLane, President & CEO; Jennifer Hakim, Community Impact Manager; Patti Harvey-Elphick, VP of Development; Kaarina Romero, Director of Marketing & Communications (6) Left to right: Lori-Anne McLane; Jack Privetera, Privetera’s Florist and Landscape Nursery; Patti Harvey-Elphick; Tim Hogan, President of Care Transformation Services for Hackensack Meridian Health (7) Left to right: Bob and Phyllis Rosone; Janet Garley

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