Gugan Gill - Portfolio Book

Gugan Gill

Quality Exploring Peace Balance Liberation Excitment Experiement Places People Documentiation Education Learning Unlearning Relearning Nurturing Practicing Planning Supporting Collaborting Collecting Interdependecy Love Building Finding Home Stories Community Identity Archiving Speculative Conversations

Recording, Documenting, Making.

Growing up and cultivating myself as a diasporic woman, I question my place in the Indian nation whilst simultaneously questioning my place in Britain, now coming to terms with the othering and systematic oppressions that are subtly weaved into my life. Cultural barriers come along with the Diaspora experience, balancing expectations of South Asian, Punjabi cultures and western ones; and the hierarchies of knowledges means Diaspora, in particular women, are written out of history. There is no archive digitisation for such experience thus making family histories and stories from home an important source in understanding my identity. It was easy for a young person like me to grow up rejecting inherited knowledges and histories as they weren’t taught in school, dismissed for not having the same integrity as western history however, “family history cannot be extricated from public history because individual lives shape and are shaped by the times” (Kirsch and Rohan, 2008). Racist traumas and toxic South Asian cultures made way for rejecting a culture that I am learning to embrace, my feminist relearning of identity allowing me to positively balance both my South Asian and British cultures understanding my transcultural identity.

Delving into family histories and being critical of what ‘proper history’ is, we can “understand and explore the fissures of historical narratives, the places at the margins that where voices have been suppressed, silenced or ignored.” (Kirsch and Rohan, 2008). Stories from home allow me to navigate my South Asian identity such “regional and familial archives teach[ing] the value of attending to how our family, social and cultural history is intertwined with more traditional notions of history and culture” (Kirsch and Rohan, 2008). Learning of my family history is a complex one with no resolution to such emotional complexities but rather an understanding that perhaps – speaking to South Asians Diaspora – helps us interrogate the systems we live in, our places within our own communities and our transcultural identity.

- “Situating my practice, I am sat in the greenhouse in the garden of my family home. This is a space that, at the moment, is cold and quiet, but in general it’s a metaphorical space that is massively reflective of my practice. I see it as a physical embodiment of such practice, something that is ever-evolving and changing, a space that should always be nurtured, somewhere that allows for freedoms and liberations from new growth whilst also keeping you questioning and on your toes.”

Hi im --And im ….

The project we would like to fund is called ‘Conversations from Home’.

It is a project that consists of a film, publication and dining event. its all based on our Punjabi culture, AND the similarities and differences between us as two second generation immigrants growing up in the UK. We met at Uni in Birmingham and not only did we bond on our cultural backgrounds but also our art practices. We love all things community, socially engaged and sharing through, kinship, food, cooking, growing, cultivation and creativity.

We are making a film about experiences. The film is a compilation of videos of us spending time with each other and our families. Recording day to day activities of us cooking, eating and doing things we usually do. Highlighting the beauty of the mundane. So far we’ve had so many long conversations over what connects us and how important it is to document our stories and have homes for them in Art Spaces.

What we realised, was that these spaces were not reflective of our communities and often alienates them from participating and seeing themselves within these spaces.

We have the privilege as artists to analyse such experiences

“Hence it is with a certain feeling of urgency that I seek the nature, subject, words of the other story, the untold one, the life story.” (Le Guin).

An archive is not only a source but a subject that should be unearthed, discussed, and explored. The films shown at Vivid Projects on the 2nd of December have been recorded by my Nana Ji on his Super 8.

He bought it in 1974 and used it into the 80s and screened the films using his reel-to-reel projector. Both were tucked away until rediscovered at the back of a wardrobe last December. I now use this same Super 8 camera , documenting home and the beauty of the “life story” (Le Guin).

These films are are encounters with people in a different time and place and for a moment I am transported into the past delving into a time and place before my own. I find myself reflecting on lives before mine and the lives that have made way for mine. Simple days out dressed in saris and matching outfits are a testament to culture and tradition, to home life and home.

The projector’s loud clicking sound creates a stillness in the room and the soft flickering light comes on then reveals the still images on the reel. The physicality of the reels and projector and the yellow light make tangible memories and lived experiences.

The hazy images feel like a dreamscape of life before my own.

– helps us interrogate the systems we live in, our places within our own communities and our transcultural identity.