November 2012 Issue

Metro Detroit

The Premier Directory and Savings Guide for the Jewish Home

DAVID’S HEATING & COOLING

RESIDENTIAL & COMMERCIAL

248-443-6590

FREE

Issue 108 - November 2012

2

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NOVEMBER 2012

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Coupon Expires 3/15/2012off suggested retail price Coupon Expires 12/15/12 路 All discounts

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Frame & gifts for a perfect Chanukah present!

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18877 West Ten Mile Rd.

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NOVEMBER 2012

Suite 110

Southfield, MI 48075

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NOVEMBER 2012

7

The Women's Circle of Bais Chabad of NOP Invites you to

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�rt for the ��u� AN ELEGANT EVENING OF ART & CREATIVE EXPRESSION Celebrating the Jewish Woman

SUNDAY, KISLEV 11 5773 đ NOVEMBER 25 2012 6:30pm BAIS CHABAD OF NORTH OAK PARK 15401 W 10 Mile Rd đ Oak Park, MI 48237 ADMISSION: $25 Advance Reservations đ $36 At the Door Special Early Bird with reservations before November 11th: $20 $54 Sponsor $72 Patron $180 Hostess For Women– Your friends, aunts, nieces and mothers-in-law are welcome to join us (suggested age Bas Mitzvah & beyond.)

For questions and reservations: email hadasahw@aol.com or call 248 895 8103

8

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Forget Black Friday!

BLACK SUNDAY is the

biggest sale

of the year!!

Shomrey Emunah 25451 Southfield Road

NOVEMBER 25 11:30 – 5:30

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NOVEMBER 2012

9

BS”D

The challahs and kugels and briskets were great But now it’s time to lose the weight!

Start the New Year feeling better than ever!

Learn about: · Balanced eating · Healthy eating at simchas · Nutrition and Energy · Weight Control · And much more....

For healthy lasting results please contact: Shelley Littman, Personal Wellness Coach 248-547-4222

FOR A FREE* WELLNESS EVALUATION!! *For the first 20 callers

Steve Coden’s Flower Shop

Inside Travelers Tower

Right Across from the Southfield Library 26555 Evergreen • Southfield, MI 48076

l delivery! a c o l EE R F r fo d a s i Mention th Special Occasions • Anniversary • Birthday Weekly Shabbat Arrangements

•

Host Gift

For Pick-Up or Delivery • World-Wide Delivery 248.358.1520 800.514.9975 fax 248.358.5834 10

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TAMMY DESIGNS

TD I NT ER I O R D E S I G N

INTERIOR DESIGN SERVICES AHUVAH TRAUBE

248.990.7524 tammytdesign@gmail.com RESIDENTIAL & COMMERCIAL

EXCLUSIVE DISCOUNTS MARBLE – TILE – STONE Contact us about special pricing at SINCE 2003

DESIGN ASSISTANCE AVAILABLE FOR ALL YOUR DECORATING PROJECTS

KNOWLEDGE + EXPERIENCE = SATISFIED CLIENTELE

References Available

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NOVEMBER 2012

FIVE STAR DESIGN 248.996.6164

BEAVER TILE - CIOT - GENNESSE - VIRGINIA TILE

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Don’t you love to think about what your dream home will look like?

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We are pleased to announce that we are now taking VISA and MASTERCARD. Enjoy the flexibility of paying on YOUR terms.

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    

16

COMMUNITY LINKS

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1-877-LINKS-12

The Women’s Division of Partners in Torah presents

Jewish Geography

with Mrs. Sara Aliza S cheinberg

Destination

Explore different points in time and geographical settings that have been home to our ancestors. Learn about the challenges, triumphs, and gifts that history has passed down to our generation. This series will meet monthly, focusing on a unique location and historical period, and their timeless lessons that positively influence ourselves, our marriages, homes and communities.

Triumph & Faith RUSSIA THROUGH THE HARSHEST WINTER NIGHTS Monday, November 12 | 8:15 p.m. at Partners in Torah 15751 W. L incoln Dr., S ou thfield — refreshments buffet — no charge —

— t h i s s e ri e s i s f o r ◆ new wives ◆ ◆ mothers whose children are under the age of 10 ◆

please note

THE JEAN AND THEODORE WEISS

WOMEN’S DIVISION

COMMUNITY LINKS

|

NOVEMBER 2012

For more infor mat ion

please call

248-JUDAISM (583-2476).

17

NorthPointe Foot & Ankle welcomes

Dr. David S. Ungar

Board Certified Foot and Ankle Specialist, Wound Care Certified Diplomate ABPOPPM & ABLES, Fellow APWCA

• Complete Foot and Ankle Care for Adults and Children • Most Insurance Plans Accepted • Surgical Privileges at Most Local Hospitals and Surgery Centers

Medical and Surgical Management of the Foot and Ankle

Farmington location

Visit us at tion: our additional loca

(248) 477-3301 ∙ Fax (248) 478-2829

& Ankle NorthPointe Foedot ical Bldg

34435 Grand River Ave, MI 48335 ▪ (½ block west of Gill Road - between Farmington and Drake Rds)

NorthPointe M e., Suite 110 90 27 1 Woodward Av and Catalpa) (corner of Woodward

NorthPointe location

es from Less than 10 minut fie th ld area! the Oak Park/Sou

(248) 545-0100 ∙ Fax (248) 545-1285 27901 Woodward Ave., Suite 110, Berkley, MI 48072 ▪ (corner of Woodward and Catalpa)

Q UA LI T Y P H O N E S E RV I CE @ D I SCO U N TE D R ATE S

PREPAY & DIAL ACCESS # Our professional office staff look forward to! servicing you Chaim Braun PRESIDE

ISRAEL LANDLINE ISRAEL CELL 4¢ UK LANDLINE 1.4 ¢ UK CELL 9.1 ¢ USA & CANADA 1.5 ¢

DC DESIGN / 732.901.4784

1

¢

NT

732.364.1231 800.713.1223 I

18

FAX

732.886.5755

COMMUNITY LINKS

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NAL O I S S E F O R P MAKEUP ON APPLICATI BRIN A I C I L I H P BY TTE 117 JEANE

S, WEDDING CHOS, A R B A V SHE VAS, BAR MITZ TURES IC SENIOR P A R SIMCH ALL YOU S NEED

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Links to the Vaad DAVENING QUESTIONS Question: What should one do if, mistakenly, he recited v’sein tal umatar livrachah after Succos but before the evening of December fifth?

Discussion: Although in Eretz Yisroel they have been reciting v’sein tal umatar livrachah since the evening of the seventh of Cheshvan, outside of Eretz Yisroel we do not ask for rain until the Maariv prayer of the fifth of December. This is because Eretz Yisrael, which is more elevated than other lands and does not have enough natural bodies of water to irrigate the land, requires much more rain than other countries. If, however, one mistakenly recited v’sein tal umatar outside of Eretz Yisroel after Succos but before the evening of the fifth of December, he need not repeat his Shemoneh Esrei. It is true that had he made this very mistake during the summer months and recited v’sein tal umatar—he would be required to repeat Shemoneh Esrei, but making that mistake anytime after Succos up until the fifth of December does not necessitate a repetition of Shemoneh Esrei. This is because we consider it premature to pray for rain before December fifth, but still, the period between Succos and December fifth is considered part of the “rainy season,” unlike the summer months, when rain is not welcome at all.

Question: Why do some people say morid ha-gashem with a kamatz under the gimmel, while others pronounce it with a segol under the gimmel—ha-geshem?

Discussion: The Hebrew word for rain is “geshem,” with a segol under the gimmel (and under the shin). Like many other words of comparable structure—two syllables, both vocalized with a segol (e.g., eretz, kesef, eved, etc.), the first segol is changed to a kamatz when the word appears at the end of a Biblical phrase or sentence.

The correct pronunciation of the word hageshem or ha-gashem, therefore, depends on its location within the second blessing of Shemoneh Esreh. If the sentence—which begins with the words atah gibor—ends with the words mashiv 22

Rabbi Doniel Neustadt Halachah Hotline 248-559-5005 x100 Kashruth Product Helpline 248-559-5005 x103 cordetroit@gmail.com www.cordetroit.com

ha-ruach u’morid ha-g_shem, then ha-gashem is correct. If, however, the phrase is part of a longer sentence which ends with the words be’rachamim rabim, then the correct pronunciation is hageshem.

In all of the old siddurim which were published hundreds of years ago, the word is written as hageshem with a segol. While more recently many publishers changed the vocalization and printed ha-gashem instead—and some poskim maintain that ha-gashem is the correct pronunciation— most poskim hold that the correct way to pronounce the word is ha-geshem, and this is how most contemporary siddurim print that word.

Question: What should one do if he wishes to daven on behalf of a sick person, but he does not know the name of the sick person’s mother?

Discussion: The father’s name should be used instead. If the father’s name is also unknown to him, then the family surname should be mentioned.

A mother davening on behalf of her child should not mention her own name. Instead, she should say only “my son/daughter” followed by the child’s name.

How to reach us at the Vaad?

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Vote to re-elect

November 6

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23

We Didn’t Build That

BY RABBI AVI SHAFRAN

T

he current extended silly season called a presidential campaign has certainly provided its share of absurdities. Wouldn’t it be nice if all there was to consider were objective facts about the candidates and carefully drawn policy statements by each? If those manipulative and disingenuous political ploys known as ads were outlawed?

(I know, I know, we have a Constitution that’s very kind to free expression, even of lies and innuendo.) If money and gullibility didn’t somehow combine to yield votes?

Instead we have dog stories— that Mr. Romney long ago traveled with one atop his car (albeit in a windshield-equipped animal container— and with Seamus reportedly enjoying the ride); and that Mr. Obama, as a child in Indonesia, had tasted canine meat (a delicacy in a number of countries). And slightly less peripheral but ultimately irrelevant “issues” like the contents of the Republican candidate’s personal tax returns and the fact that some Navy SEALS don’t support the president’s re-election.

Then there are the outright mischaracterizations. Like the portrayal of Mr. Romney’s ill-spoken but less-than-horrifying admission to a group of donors that the 47% of Americans who pay no income tax aren’t likely to vote for him, as some sort of “let them eat food stamps” disdain for the poor. Or the insinuation that Mr. Obama’s statement “If you’ve got a business, you didn’t build that”—a clear reference to the tax revenue-built “roads and bridges” he specifically mentioned— was intended to show disdain for the accomplishments of hard-working Americans.

“You didn’t build that” may well prove to be the most memorable sound-bite of the 2012 campaign.

One’s thing’s certain: From a Jewish point of view, it deserves top billing—not as a reminder of our tax dollars at work but read more deeply, as a larger truth that should inform every moment of our every day.

Which is to begin, with its very first moment of consciousness, with opening our eyes and saying the words of Modeh Ani (Traditional prayer said upon rising in the morning), thanking our Creator for allowing us to awaken. Yes, we were alive and 24

well the previous night, but we have no right to take our continued living for granted. We didn’t build it.

Throughout the day, we acknowledge much else we enjoy but didn’t build. From the the traditional morning blessings we recite, thanking G-d for our sight and our clothing and our ability to move and our energy, to the gratitude we offer in the form of blessings we pronounce over the foods that we eat, a Jewish life is saturated with expressions of Hakaras Hatov, “recognition of the good”—the understanding that when it comes to all that we have and enjoy and use, we didn’t, so to speak, build any of that; G-d did.

The concept was imbedded in the very week of creation, as we recently read in the weekly Torah portion on Shabbos. The first rain was held back (Genesis 2:5) until there was, as the commentary of Rashi explains, a human being to “recognize the goodness of rain.”

Most everything we have we didn’t build.

That’s the meaning of the Talmudic dictum “All is in the hands of Heaven, except fear of Heaven.”

All our circumstances, including our successes and failures, regardless of how hard we worked, are determined not by us but by our Creator.

All we can ever really call our own is our “fear of Heaven”—the way we choose to live our lives with whatever Hashem allows us to have as we pass through life.

The truth is that imagining that we are selfmade, that “we built that” is no mere underappreciation of a sublime truth but the embodiment of a decadent attitude, the one characterized in Deuteronomy 8:17 by the boast “My power and the might of my hand made me all this wealth.”

Which boast is followed by the injunction: “You shall remember the Lord, your G-d, that it was He Who gave you strength to make wealth.”

How rare that a phrase from a political campaign might deserve to be ornately printed on heavy stock, framed behind glass and hung prominently in a Jewish living room. But in this case, Mr. Obama’s statement—if not as he intended it—well qualifies for that honor.

Reprinted with permission from www.torah.org COMMUNITY LINKS

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Zmanim ~ â&#x20AC;Ť×˘×&#x153;×&#x2022;תâ&#x20AC;Ź â&#x20AC;Ť×&#x201D;׊×&#x2014;רâ&#x20AC;Ź

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Sunset

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5:23 PM

6:05 PM

9:12 AM

12:17 PM 12:41 PM

5:15 PM

5:57 PM

7:28 AM

9:17 AM

12:18 PM 12:42 PM

5:08 PM

5:50 PM

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                                                                   

                                                  

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Why go anywhere else to sell your jewelry ?

I will come to you!

Savana Resources will buy your platinum, gold and silver items, in any condition.

SAVANA RESOURCES

Chaim Ashin Call 248 635-6814 to make a convenient appointment.

Happy Homecare !"# $%& '( %)*#" '*&)+ ,-% .'( &/# -#)0 ,1+0 2%1(3 +% 4 5"%6 '00%1(+6#(+/7 0 8%&/#,%"97 0 :-%001(37 0 2%1(3 5%" ,')9/7 I WOULD BE HAPPY TO HELP! ;)#'/# .')) <1=9' :%"/.-#" '+ >?@AB?CADEFG HEB 0#" -%&" <#5#"#(.#/ '='1)'I)# COMMUNITY LINKS

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T:5.75”

An evening in

benefiting

AKIVA HEBREW DAY SCHOOL

T:9.875”

Sunday, December 16, 2012, at 6 p.m.

Chinese auction, elegant buffet and bar.

Congregation Shaarey Zedek 27375 Bell Road, Southfield, MI 48034 Admission: $36 per person

akivaauction.org

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COMMUNITY LINKS

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KEEPING YOU LINKED

!

N O O S X O B N I R U O COMING TO Y

A weekly eblast newsletter keeping you linked to the community · Mazal Tovs · Condolences · Job Connections · Treasure Hunt · Lost & Found · And more!

Advertising opportunities as low as $15/week

For more information or to advertise or to be added to the eblast list, please call 248.227.1066 or email detroitlinks@gmail.com Subject: EBLAST THE COMMUNITY LINKS RESERVES THE RIGHT TO EXERCISE DISCRETION IN THE SELECTION OF ADVERTISEMENTS AS WELL AS THE DURATION OF ADVERTISEMENTS 36

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S hell Shoppe WOMENS

MATERNITY

KIDS

RUST

COMING SOON! 12-18 MONTHS

248.996.6164 FIVE STAR DESIGN

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Bringing you a SEA of color!

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Sori Loketch 248-968-2766

26101 Harding St. North Oak Park

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GEMACHS » Costume weddings/any occasion jewelry - Shani at 2/752-3843 » Folding Tables & Chairs:Nechama Weingarden @ 2/557-3444 » Nebulizer machine: call 248-552-1989; leave a message » GPS:for info call Benny 248-619-6845 » Beautiful Clothing for women,children & infants. Please take!

Call Mrs. Schwab @ 248-968-0588 » Tznius (modest) hospital gowns for maternity or hospitalization, preserving dignity & modesty. Contact Miriam at 248-548-6771 or Amzalak@ yeshivanet.com. Confidential. » Tefillin & Gemara: Yaakov Gregg 248-967-4263. Tallis available at Beaumont Bikur Cholim » BRIS SET w/embroidered k’vater pillow, pillow for Kisay Shel Eliyahu, baby yarmulke w/ribbon ties & Artscroll Bris Milah book. Call Hilda Borenstein 248-967-3502, or if no answer call Borenstein’s 248-967-3920 » For Nursing Mothers - 3 Electric Medela pumps now available.

Call Mrs. C. Schwab - 248-968-0588 » A walker w/wheels avail.- call Chai Lowenberg 2/559-5020 » Bridal Canopy – we provide gowns and ancillary items (shoes, slips, headpiece, veils, jewelry etc.) 248-953-0503. » The Kollel’s Cassette Tape library (over 1,000) in varied Judaic subjects is now located at the home of Mark & Badonna Berkman. Check it out & call 2/968-5650

» Feiga Pia Gown Gemach: Childrens & womens gowns for weddings.By appointment only 248-968-5899 » “MAZAL TOV! IT’S A BOY” A Bris G’mach - Beautiful outfits, receiving blankets, bris pillows and pillowcases. Also available: Sefarim on Hilchos Milah, Hilchos Pidyon HaBen, and related Divrei Torah . Contact: Debbie Fine - Rachel Daskal 248.542.3544 » Costumes, kids sizes from newborn to size 16. Shulamith Kantrowitz 248-968-3171 or cell - 216-702-4283. » Farmer’s Market every Wed. - FREE fresh produce plus First time comers-please call first - 248-968-0588 » CHALLAH SEGULAH HOTLINE 248-469-8123 » Making a simcha in your home? Beautiful tablecloths and buffet table accessories. Tzipporah Lover 248.996.6164 » Rebbetzin Braunstein’s tapes for married women.

B. Levovitz – 248-655-6007 » Join the Neshei Detroit Email Group: http://groups.google.com/ group/neshei-detroit All women of the community welcome. For more info: Mrs. Kari Siegel 248-569-8588. » Test Book Gmach: CLEP, SAT, and AP books to loan. Call to borrow (or donate your old test books to our collection!)--Tawil: 248-483-9797 » SUCCAH GEMACH - If you have a Succah to lend or give away, or if you need a Succah, please call Mrs. Blitz 248-677-3618.

The Importance of Mitzvah Notes

BY JONATHAN GEWIRTZ

U

ntil a few years ago, I had never heard of a Mitzvah note. Growing up in New Orleans we didn’t have such things as a Mitzvah note. Nor did we have Pirchei, Paskesz, or Uncle Moishy.

The closest thing I can remember was when Shlomo Carlebach came to town. I can still recall the struggling expression on his face trying to explain what a Chosid was to a group of kids who thought of Purim as “The Jewish version of Mardi Gras.”

When I did hear about Mitzvah notes, I didn’t understand the concept. You are supposed to do mitzvos, why do you need a bribe to get you to do them? Kids should be good because that’s what they’re supposed to do. Isn’t it the wrong message teaching them that you have to be rewarded for every little thing?

That’s what I used to think. But then I got a

40

little older… a little wiser… a little daughter.

OK, at first, I still thought that way. When my daughter asked me for Mitzvah notes I grudgingly gave them. Of course, sometimes I wanted to give her notes because she did exceptional things. But for run-of-the-mill stuff, like brushing her teeth and sharing, I didn’t jump to do it. What was the big deal? I mean, all that happened was that the Morah would look at it, maybe give her a smiley face sticker, and that’s that, right?

At the end of the year, when I went to her class graduation, the teacher had arranged a special display of each child’s Mitzvah notes. It was clear for everyone to see who had notes. Some had bunches; one unfortunate child had only one.

Boruch HaShem, our daughter was somewhere in the middle, but that stark sight of the lone Mitzvah note struck me. continuted on page 50

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continued from page 40

What message would the child take from it?

That his or her parents didn’t have time for him or her? (I’m not giving any hints; if it’s your child, you know who you are.) Maybe Chas V’Shalom that there was only one time in the year when Mommy and Daddy were proud enough to write? It was heartbreaking.

This year, my second daughter entered Nursery and the teacher sent home special Mitzvah note paper. I dutifully scribbled notes for my girls for the first few days of school. Then I saw her class schedule and was startled.

During snack, the kids eat and listen to Mitzvah notes from the other children! Oh my goodness!

What if I didn’t send any notes? What if all year my child listened to everyone else’s notes and never her own? How terrible would she feel?

Forgetting about the negative feelings, this means that the notes are really important in another way. Not only will my daughter hear her note read by her Morah, whom she looks up to (she has to, I mean, she’s only two feet tall), but her friends will hear it too. They will know that her parents think she is worthy of complimenting and her esteem will likely go up in their eyes.

This is such an awesome responsibility to have. I have to ensure that she is getting enough positive reinforcement and open expression of the deep love I have for her.

Back to my original premise. I said that a note was merely a bribe to get a child to do something and there was no reason to have to write a note and compliment for things they are supposed to do anyway. Let’s look at the flip side. If my child did something wrong, would I say, “Nu, she’s a kid, she’s supposed to write on the walls,” or would I chastise her and let her KNOW she did something wrong? “How else will she learn?” I think we all know the answer.

So let’s get this straight – Every time our children do wrong, we tell them. When they do right, we expect it and remain silent. That doesn’t seem fair to me. If anything, when they do wrong (childish mistakes, spilling things, accidents, etc.) we should expect it and remain silent, or perhaps even encourage them, reassure them, and tell them that things will get easier as they grow up.

When they do what they’re “supposed to do” we should compliment them, tell them how proud we are, and yes, write Mitzvah notes.

Now, let’s ask ourselves – does this need for

50

approval ever go away? Do we ever get to the point where we don’t at least like to hear that others love us, appreciate us, and admire us? The answer is obviously no. We all need the reassurances of others that we’ve done a good job or make them feel good or that they’re happy we exist in their lives.

It would make sense, then, that while we don’t write Mitzvah notes for grown-ups, we should be in the habit of telling our spouses, friends, coworkers, and neighbors when they do things right.

Come to think of it, we can write Mitzvah notes.

If someone gives you a gift, write a thank you note instead of just calling. (Of course you were going to say thank you, weren’t you?) If a co-worker sends you a document that’s well written, why not respond with a compliment and cc the others to whom it was sent? Writing a note or e-mail to a spouse about something nice they did for you will mean a tremendous amount to them, and will probably result in them doing even nicer things.

Continuing with this theory, it would also make sense to overlook the shortcomings of others and chalk it up to their being human. NEWSFLASH: Human beings have flaws. If they were perfect they wouldn’t be human, they would be flawed.

(Circular reasoning is always such fun…)

So, if someone does something insensitive to you, assume they weren’t maliciously trying to hurt you. They’re people. More than likely they weren’t even thinking about you. Maybe one day they’ll grow up and change, but until then, don’t sweat it. If someone does something stupid, I bet they already know it and don’t need you to point it out. If you hold your tongue, odds are next time they need help or advice you’re the one they will turn to because you aren’t judgmental to them.

Yes, Mitzvah Notes are very important.

Whenever you get the chance, focus on what’s “write” in the world, and pretty soon you will notice a whole lot more smiley faces around you.

Jonathan Gewirtz is a freelance writer whose mission is to inspire and make people think. If you are inspired, act on it! Find a way to make this world a better place for yourself and those you share it with.

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