Resistance Against Criminal Identities

L i f e o n t h e M a rg i n s i n a Residential Motel

Exiled in AMERICA

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As illustrated in chapter 2, criminal histories were common among residents of the Boardwalk. In fact, jail and prison time were often celebrated as status symbols, and, as is often seen in certain subcultures, motel residents turned the middle-class stigma associated with criminal behavior and criminal histories on its head. Just as in prison subculture, however, the one criminal behavior that drew disdain was sexual offending against children. Because many residents at the motel did not distinguish between types of sex offenders, a sex-offense conviction was automatically equated with victimization of a child. (Current criminal justice policy treats a wide variety of behaviors as sexual offenses, such as visiting or promoting a prostitute, consensual sex between teenagers, and exposing oneself in public). Therefore parolees and those with sexual offense histories took different steps to resist the stigma of their offenses and create boundaries between themselves and the pedophile label.

Many sex offenders at the motel tried to resist their stigmatized identities by hiding them from others. Price, Dale, Jasper, Cinque, Walt, and Harry disclosed their status as parolees but hid their sex offense convictions. This is an example of what Goffman calls a “technique of informational control” that an “individual with a secret defect employs in managing crucial information about himself.” Unfortunately, because they were level 2 and 3 offenders, they were listed on the public sex offender registry, and therefore their attempts to conceal their stigma were neutralized because their convictions were visible to me and anyone at the motel with Internet access.

After Cinque moved in, I encountered Mike and Natalie looking up the registry on their cell phones as they sat outside the office.

Mike looked at me, shook his phone, and said about Cinque, “It will tell you what level it is right here. There he is right there, mugshot right there. She was thirteen years old. That tells you everything right there, buddy.” Natalie claimed that Cinque told her he was in prison for drugs and weapons charges and mentioned nothing about his sex-offense conviction.

Similarly, Reg attempted to hide his sex-offense conviction from other residents. He claimed that when he was eighteen, he and his

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good friend had consensual sex with a girl who was fifteen. According to public records, he was charged with felony statutory rape and endangering the welfare of a child. He pleaded guilty to statutory rape and spent a year in jail and had to register as a level 1 sex offender. The girl later had a child by him, and for a time he viewed her as his “wife.”

Reg’s sex-offender status made finding a residence quite difficult, and it was the factor that forced him and Sky to leave the Save More Inn. The task of hiding his status from those at the Boardwalk was made somewhat easier because he was only a level 1 offender and therefore not listed on the public registry. When Reg disclosed his conviction to me, he claimed that no one else at the motel knew about it. This turned out not to be the case, because Dee told me that she was aware of his status and said, “He thought it was this big secret.” Vito told me that Elizabeth had outed Reg as a sex offender, though he admitted it was hard to believe. Elizabeth mocked Reg about his attempts to mask his status after he had moved out: “He’s a sex offender, he tries to say he’s not, he is. Stupid, a make fun a other ones, you’re one yourself! ’Cause the guy [meaning a detective] comes around, you know he has a list a all the guys that are sex offenders. I dunno if he’s a level 1 or 2, but anyway he is one, he tries to say he’s not.” In a way, Reg’s attempts to hide his status ended up directing more attention toward it when others found out.

In addition to trying to hide his sexual conviction, Reg created other boundaries to distance himself from other sexual offenders.

Because his offense involved a girl he claimed was his girlfriend, he did not view himself as predatory and insisted that because the girl was fifteen he was not attracted to young children. In fact, he went out of his way to show his contempt for those he considered pedophiles and told me that he had no problem being violent toward the “sons a bitches who touched kids.” When he returned from jail in April 2013, he talked about his experience working as a runner (bringing food from the kitchen to the cell blocks) and claimed, “So fricken, every fuckin’, pedophile scumbag up in there dude, spittin’ in their fuckin’ trays, havin’ fun wid ’em.” He also explicitly referred to Darryl as “that fucking pedophile” on several occasions. Social psychologists refer to this type of behavior as “reaction formation,” which can be described as a way of fighting off threats to self-esteem

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“by exhibiting an exaggerated or extreme reaction in the opposite direction.” Reg exhibited distaste for sexual offenders in the same way that social psychologists find that “people respond to the implication that they have some unacceptable trait by behaving in a way that would show them to have the opposite trait.” Tat was the Dominican tattoo artist who arrived after Reg went to jail, and he took a different approach by disclosing his status as a sex offender. Hours after we had first met, we stood talking in the parking lot of the motel. I mentioned that the Boardwalk used to be a very nice place, and Tat claimed that it was before the motel started renting to sex offenders. He then said: Me, I’m a keep it a hundred [percent honest], I put it on first street. Me, when I was twenty-five, in 2005, when I was twentyfive, I fucked up and got drunk and had sex with an underage female. No, she wasn’t my daughter, nope, she wasn’t nobody in my family, ya understand me? It happened to be the neighbor’s daughter’s friend. Then I got home around two o’clock in the morning, drunk, hammered. And they come over. They’re like, yo, can we drink wid you? I’m like, yeah sure! I went and grabbed a root beer, I said here, one for you, one for you. And I kept on drinkin’ my rum and coke. They was like, nah we want a drink! I was like, nah, you ain’t drinkin’ wid me, nah, nah, no.

I got crazy drunk.

The mother, uh, the daughter of the, the lady from next door wound up leavin’. And she [the friend] throws her hand over me, and I’m like yo, give me a massage? Boom, she starts givin’ me a massage. I just start takin’ shit off. All the sudden, she started givin’ me head. And then, she got on top a me and started ridin’ me man. You know, I, I’m ashamed, yes. But at the time, I was intoxicated, I didn’t give a fuck about anything, you understand me? But however, it’s not like I was uh, um.

Not like, um, I’m a fiend for that. It’s not like um, um, um, that’s my fetish. It’s not like I go out my way to look for shit like dat, know what I mean?

And I never let that shit happen again, I don’t give a fuck.

I put it on front street. Like, yup, yup, this is what happened.

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Yup, it was underage. Yup, I got the, got the paperwork and everything. Yup, you know I mean?

Tat admitted his indiscretion but highlighted some important caveats that created boundaries with other sex offenders. He made it clear that the victim was in no way related to him, so his crime was not one of incest. He claimed that he was under the influence of alcohol, thus underscoring that the behavior was out of character.

He also claimed that underage girls were not a fetish of his. In other words, he made an effort to portray his crime as a single poor decision that occurred while he was drunk, thereby resisting the predatory stigma attached to most sexual offenders. He said as much when he told me: My thing is, if you do it more than once, then there’s a problem.

Then, there’s a problem. If you do it once, and you don’t do it again, then you know you can actually show by action that you learned from your mistake. But if you do it once, and you do it again, and you do it again, know what I mean, it’s a problem.

I witnessed Tat “keeping it one hundred” hours later when we met Patch, who was also on parole. The three of us stood outside Patch’s room talking about parole officers, and Patch asked Tat, “You violent? You a violent felon?” Tat responded: Alright, check this out, I’m a keep it a hundred, I gotta keep it a hundred with everybody. When I was twenty-five, back in 2005, I wound up havin’ sex with an underage chick, know what I mean? I was drunk, yeah, you know I mean, that’s beside the point, you know I mean. It happened. She got pregnant, her pops didn’t like that I was black, he pressed charges.

This confession was interesting because Tat added details that he did not share with me. The pregnancy and the impact of Tat’s race seemed to implicate the father’s decision to press charges as the reason for the conviction, and not the fact that Tat had done something that many considered deviant and stigmatic.

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I asked Tat to elaborate on how his sex-offender status affected him and he said: Well, it’s kinda hard, but I learned to live with it. In, in, in a way, all I gotta do, is register where I live. And anybody that I move around, I tell ’em the truth. Look listen, this is what it is.

Oh, you mothafucker! Okay, cool, fine. I won’t talk to you again.

Know what I mean? If it like dat, I just, I just keep it movin’ but.

Last year, when I came here, when I came back here, some, ’cause it was switched over, it wasn’t all, all sex offenders. It was a little bit a regular people. Some people that I met, you know I mean, they uh, got told by Elizabeth, watch it, he’s a sex offender, he’s okay. He’s a good people but he’s a sex offender.

And they’s like, oh okay, he’s one a those, he’s one a those. Now, this is before they got to meet the attitude, you know, the character. You know I mean? So, they all the sudden, like, when I was comin’ around, I would see them like sneak over, and start talkin’ over here. And I’m like, whatever, you know me, I don’t care. I, I would come out, try to get, uh, twenty or thirty pack, do my little chippas on their weed, even though I wasn’t smoking, uh you know I mean, and do little cookouts. And eventually they started seein’ me a lot and they started seein’ my character, and they was like, you know what? I thought you was, you was an asshole, but you’re pretty decent. I was like, yo look listen, it happens.

Tat tried to be proactive in presenting his stigma to other residents. However, his attempts to limit potential damage to his identity were not always successful. Tat did not disclose his sex-offender status to the physically imposing resident Spike until weeks after he told me. This information did not sit well with Spike, who was happy to see Tat get kicked out of the motel a few weeks later for playing his music too loud: Larry says, I don’t understand why they send these fuckin’ weirdos over here. ’Cause ya’ll take ‘em, that’s why. You the only hotel that take the weirdos, and I don’t really care [about]

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them, but I don’t wanna hurt nobody’s feelings, you know, sex offenders. Like what’s his name there? Tat? But when he, I tell you, he had balls tellin’ me to my face he was a level 2. I’m like, you know what? We good with our conversation. You can walk away from me now. He had balls tellin’ me that! I’m like, dog, you know, you tellin’ me this, and you know, if we was in jail, you woulda got it. Straight up. I told him straight up, you woulda got it, dog.

But yeah he had balls, he was ballsy to tell me some shit like that. I’m like, you know what? I’m good talkin’ to you, man. Don’t bother me and I won’t mess with you. Like he was proud of it.

You supposed to keep that on the hush, know what I mean? You don’t want anybody to rock yo shit. I got nieces and nephews.

But, I cut it short afta that. Now what I mean? He was running around promoting it like, you wanna put that shit on a t-shirt?

Everybody, I’m like, come on, you can’t be promotin’ that, baby.

Spike’s reaction was noteworthy because he mentioned his own nieces and nephews, thereby viewing them as potential victims of Tat. Like Reg, one goal of Tat’s boundary construction was to challenge the public’s perception that he was predatory and dangerous.

By portraying themselves as engaging in consensual, albeit illegal sexual behavior, Tat and Reg created narratives that were intended to allay fears that they would engage in similar future behavior. Darryl was also forthcoming about his conviction with other residents but created boundaries from other convicted sexual offenders by staunchly claiming innocence. He told me the night we first met how this wrongful conviction occurred: In 1993, I was accused of molesting a young man, uh, by a lady who I was having an affair with for eight years. Uh, behind her husband’s back, who was one of my best friends. Well, I was gonna testify at the divorce proceeding, then they reconciled, then next thing I know I’m being charged with a crime. I disproved the day that they said that this supposedly happened.

The judge extended the time frame to three days before and four days after. I couldn’t prove where I was for seven days.

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I asked Darryl how the sex-offender label affected his life, and he dismissed the idea that it had any effect on his psychological well-being: I don’t care. You know what, I did seventeen years, eighteen now, I really don’t care. Say whachu wanna say about me. See, see for me it’s a little bit different because where I grew up.

I grew up in the hood, I slapped people’s mouths quick. You know and like I still go to the hood and people know me and you know, say whachu wanna say, but you ain’t gonna say it to my face. I try not to be a violent person but, and so what a person has to say really doesn’t matter to me.

Darryl’s narrative absolved him of his crime and certainly portrayed him as having a history of deviance. But he also offered a history of prosocial accomplishments that included running his own legitimate business and traveling on a wagon train with juvenile delinquents from Maine to Florida with the Visionquest program.

He told me, “I was a perfect chameleon. Listen, I always had a job, was in the reserves, I played politics. I was a respected member of the community, a well-known member of the community. I was on the student senate in college.”

Darryl claimed that growing older in prison had changed him and that when he looked back on his criminal past, it did not make him happy: “I thought that I was happy. I thought that I was getting everything that I wanted. But in a way, yeah, but in all reality, when you step back and really look about at it, it was hollow and empty. I got nothing left from it. A few people that I still talk to, but I really have nothing left from it. It destroyed my whole life.”

Because of these past actions, Darryl appeared determined to right his ways, which he did in part by volunteering with the local AIDS Council in Riverfort. I asked him if giving back was important and he replied: It’s part of my growth process. I was a weapon of mass destruction. You laugh, but think of all the people I was selling drugs to, all the people I helped commit crimes, all the people I

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helped go to jail, all the people I helped destroy their families.

I did more damage in that than this crime that I got charged with, and I have more problems with this crime than any of the shit I ever did. If I sell you crack, it just doesn’t hurt you, it hurts your parents, your wife, your kids, there’s a whole progression of people. I did this in my own neighborhoods and we destroyed our own neighborhoods.

This realization gave him a new outlook on life, and after he fell in love with Digital, Darryl claimed that his priorities had shifted: “What’s happening between me and Dig right now, can’t do anything but cause me some pain in my heart, ’cause it’s only positive.

It isn’t about drugs, it isn’t about getting high, it isn’t about using another person, it isn’t about manipulating another person. It’s about happiness and joy.”

Criminologist Shadd Maruna examined desistance narrative and argues that it “frequently involves reworking a delinquent history into a source of wisdom to be drawn from while acting as a drug counselor, youth worker, community volunteer, or mutualhelp group participant.” We can see this in Darryl’s narrative. He claimed he was three hundred hours short of being a certified alcohol and substance abuse counselor and told me he wanted to be a counselor in a drug or alcohol program or a sex-offender treatment program. He dreamed of opening his own ranch-style treatment and counseling center. Darryl was attempting to become what Maruna refers to as a “wounded healer.” Wounded healers replace deviant careers with prosocial efforts to counsel others and help them desist from problematic behavior. Darryl’s goals were also a prime example of generative scripts that addressed a need for fulfillment, exoneration, legitimacy, and therapy. Some of Darryl’s claims seemed too good to be true, such as having a Mensa-worthy IQ or running drug rings inside of prison.

Regardless of the actual truth of his statements, they served to create a specific public identity. Darryl portrayed himself as a man trained to be a criminal at an early age, whose prosocial accomplishments hid the fact that he was a manipulative criminal mastermind. His crimes allowed him to live a decadent life until his lack of loyalties

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landed him in prison for a crime he did not commit. Now that he was out of prison, Darryl wanted to repent for his past behavior and lead a simple life. His new ambitions allowed him to distinguish himself from the other residents at the motel who still engaged in criminal activity. These scripts helped Darryl resist the idea that he was “doomed to deviance.” This narrative was a combination of what Maruna would call a “redemption script” and a well-rehearsed presentation. Darryl had clearly performed this narrative many times, and as audiences continued to accept it, it became engrained into his identity and sense of self. He used his narrative to alter his future trajectory and improve his chances of successful reentry.

The issue of “truth” and narrative must again be considered in light of the aforementioned analysis. While I argue that Reg, Tat, and Darryl all employed narratives with the explicit purpose of creating boundaries with other convicted sexual offenders, the truth is that their alleged actions were very different from one another. This difficulty in separating boundary construction from the differences in sex-offense-eligible behavior is important to acknowledge, even if it cannot be definitively resolved. However, in consideration of Reg’s reaction formation, Tat’s concentrated effort to appear nonpredatory, and Darryl’s well-rehearsed redemption script, I believe these narratives serve a more strategic purpose than simply describing the particulars of how they acquired their master status as sexual offenders.

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Criminal histories aside, all those living at the Boardwalk still had to contend with the stigma of relying on the motel for shelter. Residents made their lives meaningful by taking ownership of the ways in which their lives were portrayed. These contrasting portrayals were based on views concerning issues such as material comfort, the value of work, conceptions of partnership and masculinity, suggestion of failure, self-sufficiency, and goal setting. In this section I will explore how residents used these boundary narratives to combat the psychological threats posed by the stigma of living at the Boardwalk Motel.