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illustration by jiin choi, jeremy bleeke, and hannah botkin

ORIENTATION 2011

PAGE 2

NEWS

Here’s how to find a local job, stay sane

BY RAKHI AGRAWAL Spectator Staff Writer If Columbia students are masters of anything, it’s mastering everything. If you’re looking to hit the salt mines when you’re not hitting the books, here are a few surefire ways to get employed by fall break.

1. Work the work-study.

Federally-funded work study is one of the most commonly doled out financial aid packages at Columbia, and many departments and non-profits around the city offer jobs to qualifying students. The pay is decent (average pay for undergrads is $12/hour) and the hours can be pretty relaxed.

Check with your financial aid officer to make sure you’re eligible and browse Columbia’s offerings at columbia.studentemployment.ngwebsolutions. com/JobX_FindAJob.aspx.

2. Hop on board a studentrun business. There are several businesses on campus operated and managed by undergraduates, some of them backed by the Center for Career Education.

There are a few different ways to jump in: At the Barnard Babysitting Agency, students can work at the agency’s office in Elliott Hall during business hours and process incoming requests for student babysitters, or after attending a brief orientation, the agency will hook Barnard students up with well-paying babysitting gigs. For more information, visit eclipse.barnard. columbia.edu/~bbsitter/.

Even if the agency doesn’t hire you, the Columbia Bartending Agency’s mixology course is easily the most fun and booze-filled class you’ll ever take at Columbia. In five two-hour sessions, you’ll learn how to mix the perfect martini and impress your friends with exotic cocktails, like the Moscow Mule.

If you can charm your teachers and the agency’s managers, you might land a spot as one of their commissioned bartenders.

CBA bartenders work private parties at $18/hour or more with tip and cab fare. But beware: if you aren’t one of CBA’s chosen few, real bars laugh at 18-yearolds with bartending certifications. Either way, it’s a great way to spend a Tuesday night.

The multilingual among us might try Columbia University Tutoring and Translating Agency. CUTTA offers translation, transcription, and tutoring services to students both on and off campus.

3. Stay local. There’s no need to stray far from campus for a “real-world” job. Many local businesses, like Oren’s, Le Monde, the Joe Coffee in the Northwest Corner Building, 1020, and American Apparel are known to hire students. Bring a stack of resumes with you the next time you take a walk on Amsterdam or Broadway. Don’t forget about the area just north of campus on Amsterdam—a foodie’s paradise with room for student waiters and baristas.

4. Craigslist. It can be challenging, and sometimes downright sketchy, to navigate

through the spam postings and find the legitimate job opportunities. Nevertheless, Craigslist often lists openings for pet-sitting gigs, babysitting jobs, and part-time openings at restaurants, cafes, and retail establishments located elsewhere in the city. Make sure to only meet prospective employers in public places and, if something feels sketchy, it probably is.

Otherwise, be prepared to email out a lot of resumes and keep retooling your cover letters.

5. Link and share. Two of the most useful resources for students looking for jobs come from the University’s career centers—LionSHARE for CC, SEAS, and GS students, and NACElink, a system similar to LionSHARE, for BC students. Both notoriously-difficult-to-navigate platforms offer a number of more career-focused listings, from internships, both paid and unpaid, to full-time jobs for soonto-be alums, to odd-jobs posted by neighbors in the area.

Students can upload their resumes and cover letters to the sites, and then submit them to individual employers.

University departments also often post openings on the sites.

Sometimes grabbing a job can be a matter of seeing the posting before anyone else, so check them early and often. For more information, make an appointment with an advisor at the Center for Career Education in Lerner Hall or Barnard Career Development in Elliott Hall. rakhi.agrawal @columbiaspectator.com

ORIENTATION 2011

Go beyond Butler for grade-A first year

BY SONALEE RAU Spectator Senior Staff Writer With the first day of classes about one week away, here’s what you need to know to get grades that resemble those As you accumulated in high school.

Make sure to spend time on CULPA (culpa.info), Columbia’s student-run take on Rate My Professors. It’s full of nuggets of information that will aid you in preparing that color-coded spreadsheet of potential classes you’re tempted to make. The website’s reviews cover every aspect you’ll need to take into consideration: professors’ teaching styles, some course syllabi, and advice for both morning people and night owls.

Remember, even though the site is an amazing resource, you shouldn’t hesitate to supplement your CULPA searching by talking about classes with your adviser and upperclassmen—and do some Googling, especially for younger professors or TAs. Once classes start, know that Columbia students have access to a whopping 22 libraries.

Changing your study location from week to week can make the process a little less monotonous.

Of course, Butler Library is the most convenient study location to freshman dorms—and by far the most crowded.

To circumvent the chaos of traditional study rooms during midterms week, though, try heading for the Butler stacks located behind the librarians’ desks. Don’t wait until one semester of your first year has

HANNAH BOTKIN / SPECTATOR STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

STUDY PARTY | Butler’s reference room is a popular spot to hit the books, but don’t forget about the other 21 libraries on campus. already flown by to use them— even though the stacks get a bad rap as being dark, secluded, and creepy, they are always conducive to concentration. There is no Wi-Fi in the stacks—and there are, therefore, no distractions.

Alternatively, the library in Avery, Columbia’s architecture building, is one of the best-kept secrets on campus. It’s conveniently located above Brownie’s Café, a cash-only spot in the building’s basement. No food and drinks in there, though—if you like to snack while studying, head to the library in Kent, the East Asian studies building, instead.

Also, take full advantage of the fact that Barnard’s Lehman Library and Butler are so close to each other. You’ll often find

that books that have been checked out of Butler end up across the street. This information will prove useful during University Writing, when you take on the 3000-word research paper for which UW is famous.

The Writing Center can also be surprisingly useful for revising those papers—just make appointments early.

As for Lit Hum, don’t worry about reading every word, and do get your hands on the study guides for midterms and finals that generations have spent days compiling for you.

Remember: just going to class gets you ahead. And your GPA doesn’t matter as much now anyway. sonalee.rau @columbiaspectator.com

WHAT YOU MISSED LAST YEAR construction begins in manhattanville

columbia recognizes rotc after 42 years

President Bollinger first announced plans to build the largest expansion of the campus in over 100 years in 2006, and last December the University surpassed the final legal hurdles that had threatened those plans. In the last year the University has selected architects, released building plans, and proceeded with the demolition of manufacturing warehouses on 129th Street. The first buildings on the Manhattanville campus are scheduled to open in 2016.

green light for genderneutral housing

In April, exactly four months after President Barack Obama signed the repeal of the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy into law, Columbia officially recognized the Reserve Officers’ Training Corps for the first time in over four decades.

ROTC had not been recognized since 1969, when protests over the Vietnam War led to the dissolution of the University’s long-standing Naval ROTC program. The University Senate voted overwhelmingly in support of the program’s return following a heated campus debate. Critics of ROTC have argued that the military has no place on college campuses and that the military still practices discrimination against transgender individuals.

In November 2010, Dean of Student Affairs Kevin Shollenberger announced that the University would launch a gender-neutral housing pilot program, that would allow any two students, regardless of gender, to live together in double occupancy rooms. The pilot program is open to upperclassmen and only available in select buildings this year.

Students have pushed for this type of program since 2008, arguing that co-ed housing creates a more comfortable environment for LGBTQ students.

sept 2010

may 2011

bollinger: five more years In October, Bollinger agreed to stay on as President for at least five more years. Since taking over in 2002, Bollinger has overseen the legal battle surrounding Columbia’s expansion into Manhattanville, the launch of a network of global centers around the world, and a University capital campaign whose target was recently raised from $4 billion to $5 billion.

columbia in the spotlight after drug bust On the morning of Dec. 7, 2010, five Columbia students were arrested for selling drugs to undercover narcotics officers. Four of the students who were arrested belonged to fraternities and the fifth lived in the Intercultural Resource Center.

The three fraternities—Alpha Epsilon Pi, Pi Kappa Alpha, and Psi Upsilon—lost their University-owned brownstones on 114th Street, after a review undertaken by the Office of Multicultural Affairs. The IRC faces no sanctions.­ —Leah Greenbaum

ORIENTATION 2011

NEWS

LETTER FROM THE EDITORS:

Dear Class of 2015, Welcome to Columbia!

Wet and soggy though you may be, don’t ignore the silver lining to these heavy clouds. You may miss out on Convocation—but you’ll also get to skip University administrators’ predictable rain jokes. Your flight may have been delayed—but a crowded airport terminal makes the

perfect place to peruse the “Iliad.” Or your NSOP schedule may be waterlogged—so we’ve provided you with an eminently superior guide: the Columbia Daily Spectator’s Orientation Issue 2011, your survival guide for life in Morningside Heights.

In this issue, you’ll find our insider’s guide to the neighborhood and our favorite

locations around New York City. You’ll learn how to get straight A’s and land a great job.

You’ll read about Columbia’s sports stars and the University’s biggest political players. And you’ll get our updated 2011 list of the 116 Columbia traditions you have to take part in before you graduate.

Rain or shine, you’re starting four years of your

life that will be more fun, and a greater challenge, than anything you’ve ever done before. We at Spectator are excited to be a part of that. Stay safe out there.

Samuel E. Roth Editor in Chief Michele Cleary Managing Editor

BY FINN VIGELAND Spectator Senior Staff Writer It can be tough to be an ecofriendly university in New York City—but that’s no excuse for you not to be green at Columbia.

Start with the basics: unplug your electronics whenever they’re not in use, particularly when you leave your room. All it takes is reaching down to your power strip and pulling out the plugs.

Make sure to pick up your free water bottle as you receive your orientation materials.Not only will you save money across the year by not buying all those Dasani bottles, but you’ll heavily cut down on the amount of plastic the school purchases for its vending machines. Also a money-saver: the Hospitality Desk in Hartley Hall rents drying racks for free by the semester, letting you avoid the $1.25 for the dryers in your building’s basement.

While you’re still furnishing your room, check out the Give and Go Green sale in John Jay lounge. Last spring, students sold back their appliances, school supplies and other odds and ends—and now they’re up for grabs at affordable prices.

Be warned: the fridges go in the first hour and people line up for them early.

That sale is run by EcoReps, a student group on campus that organizes recycling projects, local food study breaks, and other carbon footprint-reducing opportunities on campus. Over the summer, the group worked with Housing to purchase a student-run composter in the basement of Ruggles Hall. It will be the first of its type in an urban university, according to Aida Conroy, CC ’13 and EcoReps co-coordinator.

EcoReps is also starting a program called Environmental Community Organizers, or

ECOs. Every floor of every residence hall—including first-year dorms—will have one or two residents who “serve as a connection between the general student body and EcoReps,” Conroy said. The ECOs will ensure their floormates are committed to recycling and using reusable water bottles, and plan events like organic snack study breaks and trash sculpture building.

If you want to get your hands dirty, work in the community garden in front of Pupin and the Northwest Corner Building.

Organized by the CU Food Sustainability Project, the garden grows vegetables, beans, herbs, and flowers.

Just north of campus is another public garden at the Grant Houses at 124th Street and Amsterdam Avenue. This Columbia student-led initiative faced red tape from both on-campus organizations and the New York City Housing Association, but was eventually established in February.

For more local food outlets, you can walk right out your door to the Columbia Greenmarket along Broadway at 115th Street. The farmers’ market, which runs every Thursday and Sunday, attracts scores of Upper West Siders, who shop there religiously for baked goods, preserved fruit and vegetables, cheeses, milk, and cider. The focaccia—warmed bread with veggies and herbs on top—is a classic.

There are local food-friendly restaurants in Morningside Heights, too. Community Food and Juice, on Broadway between 112th and 113th streets, supports upstate farmers and

ILLUTRATIONS BY RENATA MITTNACHT

Simple ways to stay eco-friendly while studying, eating

uses local and organic ingredients whenever possible. Beware the long brunch lines, though.

Heading to Pisticci, on LaSalle Street between Broadway and Claremont Avenue, will take you just outside of the Columbia bubble to the first carbonneutral restaurant in New York.

The more academically inclined should register for Science for Sustainable Development (EESC W2330). It’s taught

by Professors Ruth Defries, codirector of the undergraduate major in sustainable development, and John Mutter, director of the doctoral program in sustainable development.

And of course, you now live in Manhattan—no driving around everywhere. Make sure you master the subway. You’re only allowed one free pass of unintentionally taking the express train past 96th Street. finn.vigeland @columbiaspectator.com

PAGE 3

Check out these headlinemaking campus groups

BY JACKIE CARRERO Spectator Senior Staff Writer Prepare for spam: Part of college is four years of sifting through notices from all the student groups you signed on with at your first activities fair. There’s something for everyone, but here’s a handful of groups that made news last year.

cu democrats, college republicans, columbia political union If you’re a political animal you might try reaching out to the CU Democrats or College Republicans. Each year both groups send students across the country to campaign for local issues or candidates from their respective parties. The Activist Council of the CU Dems tends to make headlines for fundraising from local businesses and advocating on campus for liberal causes. In April, the College Republicans ignited a heated debate on campus when they launched a campaign calling the role of “safe spaces” on campus into question.

For those who aren’t interested in partisan politics, Columbia Political Union promotes political engagement for both liberals and conservatives. Each year CPU facilitates a debate between the Republicans and Dems. everyone allied against homophobia, columbia queer alliance, genderevolution Last year was an exciting one for LGBTQ advocates: Columbia’s administration approved a long-awaited pilot program for gender-neutral housing, the military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy was repealed, and over the summer New York State voted to legalize same-sex marriage. Don’t expect the momentum to die out this year.

Everyone Allied Against Homophobia will continue to ask local businesses to join their “safe spaces” campaign. In recent years EAAH has been a powerful lobbying voice on campus for LGBTQ issues.

Columbia Queer Alliance has focused more on building community and promoting social life.

Each month they throw a huge LGBTQ-oriented dance party on campus called “First Fridays”.

Genderevolution is a smaller, and by some accounts more radical, group. The club recently released a map of all gender-neutral bathrooms on campus and will continue to promote gender-neutral initiatives this year.

columbia/barnard hillel, muslim student union, veritas forum For all things Jewish at Columbia, check out the Kraft Center, on 115th, which houses the Columbia/Barnard Hillel. Even if religious services don’t appeal to you, Hillel offers a wide variety of programming, including groups focused on social justice, a capella, Israel advocacy, and a myriad of social events.

Trying to figure out where to find a prayer room or a halal burger? Check out the Muslim Student Union. Like Hillel, they offer programming that is as much social and philanthropic as it is religious.

Every year the Veritas Forum, a group of Christian students trying to answer life’s hardest questions, brings a set of sometimes highprofile, but always thoughtprovoking speakers to campus.

Recent forums have included journalist Nicholas Kristof and scholar Cornel West.

postcrypt coffeehouse, columbia university society of hip-hop Student-run music venue Postcrypt puts on free weekly folk music concerts in the basement of St. Paul’s Chapel. The ‘Crypt— part basement, part lounge, part cafe, and part broom closet—is the perfect place to mellow out after a long week of hitting the books.

For those not interested in folk music, the ever-more-popular CUSH provides an alternative. The group brings together all kinds of hip-hop lovers, from rappers to producers to street artists, to participate in ciphers, album listening parties, and discussions. CUSH made headlines last spring when they opened for Snoop Dogg at Bacchanal. jackie.carrero @columbiaspectator.com

Amid a leadership shake-up, meet your Columbia, Barnard administrators

LEE BOLLINGER, University President

JOHN COATSWORTH, Interim Provost

Bollinger is entering his tenth year as Columbia’s president, and has agreed to stay on through at least 2015. Known by many students as “PrezBo,” Bollinger has the final say on all administrative appointments and is the driving force behind the University’s globalization plans and the campus expansion in Manhattanville. Bollinger is also a noted freedom of the press and freedom of speech scholar, and he generally stays quiet on campus controversies.

If you want to meet him, watch for an email about the fireside chats that Bollinger holds at his house on 116th Street and Morningside Avenue.

Coatsworth was chosen by Bollinger in June to be the interim provost, following the unexpected resignation of Claude Steele, who left to become dean of Stanford’s School of Education. Coatsworth, who will also continue to serve as dean of the School of International and Public Affairs, is now the school’s top academic officer. That gives him purview over everything from the tenure review process to allocating academic space on campus.

MICHELE MOODY-ADAMS, Outgoing Columbia College Dean

After two years as the College’s first AfricanAmerican and first female dean, Moody-Adams surprised the school with news of her sudden resignation two weeks ago. In an email to alumni, Moody-Adams said that coming changes to the University’s structure would “ultimately compromise the College’s academic quality and financial health.” In her email,

ROBERT KASDIN, Senior Executive Vice President

Kasdin is a longtime Bollinger associate, having come to Columbia with him in 2002 from the University of Michigan (where Bollinger was president and Kasdin was chief financial officer).

Now second-in-command at Columbia, Kasdin runs the University’s finances and oversees the construction projects in Manhattanville and Inwood, where Columbia is building a new athletic center. You won’t hear much from Kasdin, except for the occasional update email on “the University’s Environmental Stewardship” bearing his name.

DEBORA SPAR, Barnard President

Spar, who is entering her third year at Barnard’s helm, has worked to increase the college’s international reputation, holding symposia abroad and seeking out more international students.

She’s also a scholar of international political and economic issues, and has written about topics ranging from the economics of the fertility industry to the rise of the Internet. In June, she was elected to the Board of Directors of the Goldman Sachs Group.

she implied that Arts and Sciences would soon be taking over policy, fundraising, and budget responsibilities that she currently oversees independently, and said that her concerns about those changes had not been taken seriously.

In a dramatic turn of events last week, Bollinger called on Moody-Adams to step down from her position effective immediately.

NICHOLAS DIRKS, Executive Vice President of Arts and Sciences

AVIS HINKSON, Barnard College Dean

Hinkson, BC ’84, became Barnard’s dean in February, replacing longtime dean Dorothy Denburg, who is now the vice president for college relations. Hinkson, who said in February that one of her first priorities would be evaluating how Barnard uses its library spaces, oversees the Dean of Studies, Admissions, Financial Aid, the Registrar, Residential Life and Housing, Student Life, and Health Services. Previously, she was the director of undergraduate advising at the University of California, Berkeley.

FENIOSKY PEÑA-MORA Columbia Engineering Dean

In his two years as dean, the energetic Peña-Mora has worked to increase the engineering school’s stature, both among other engineering schools and within the liberal arts-centric Columbia.

To do that, he’s instituted a “Rising Superstars” program to attract top faculty to the school, and is reshaping the school’s study abroad programs, among other initiatives. Peña-Mora previously served as associate provost at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign.

Dirks, who is also the dean of the Faculty of Arts and Sciences, oversees all things academic at A&S schools and departments, including Columbia College, the School of General Studies, the Graduate School of Arts and Sciences, the School of the Arts, the School of International and Public Affairs, and

the School of Continuing Education. Dirks, a history and anthropology professor, played a key role in planning and allocating space in the newlyopened Northwest Corner Building, and was involved in the central administration’s review of the University’s conflict of interest policy.

- Sammy Roth

PAGE 4

TRADITIONS

ORIENTATION 2011

116 Columbia Traditions 1. Enter the 116th Street gates and sing “Roar, Lion, Roar” on the first night of orientation.

2. Think your OL is an OG. Realize later she was only OK. 3. Make a spare key with an old credit card and an X-Acto knife (VingCard dorms only).

4. Try to figure out the Barnard-Columbia relationship. Give up.

5. Lock yourself out of your room while in a towel and flip-flops. Proceed to Hartley or the security desk (normal people only).

6. Lock yourself out of your room while dressed. Borrow towel and cell phone from friend and call Hartley to say you are locked out and undressed (lazy bums only).

7. Enroll in a 9 a.m. or Friday class. Never go.

8. Get a Broadway shake at Tom’s.

9. Avoid Uni Café like the plague. You might catch it there.

10. Detach your closet door. Play beer pong on it.

11. Pretend to be interested in a club to get free swag. Get spammed for the next four years.

12. Forget to transfer at 96th Street and end up at Central Park North.

13. Catch someone moving your laundry.

14. Get excited about the new buildings on Manhattanville campus. Just kidding, you’ll never take a class there.

15. Learn what eminent domain means.

16. Go to Joe. Never go to Starbucks again.

17. Get sexiled. Sleep in the lounge.

18. Eat a slice of Koronet pizza after a long night of drinking. Return another day to discover it’s inedible when you’re sober.

19. Explore the tunnels.

20. Watch the Varsity Show all four years. Notice repetition of tired Barnard jokes. Also GS jokes. And SEAS jokes.

21. Never choose classes without using CULPA. 22. Take a class on the sixth floor of Hamilton. Hate yourself for it.

23. Get a fake ID. Still get rejected from Havana Central.

24. Go to a frat party. Just one.

25. Protest something.

26. Counterprotest something.

27. Get shafted in McBain. Make lame “shaft” jokes 10 times a day for the rest of the year.

28. Ditch CubMail for Gmail.

29. Eat at Sylvia’s in Harlem.

30. Find the owl on Alma Mater.

31. Rock the Glass House.

32. Go to a campus group’s concert.

33. Go to Midnight Breakfast.

34. Make friends with the people in maintenance and with your security guards (and buy their CDs).

35. Join PrezBo’s 5K run.

36. Attend a Columbia basketball game.

37. Believe at one point that race and gender are simply constructs.

38. Drink on Low Steps.

39. Read a text from every author on Butler. Find out who Demosthenes is and let us know.

40. Take a walk of shame. Run into your CC professor.

41. Study abroad and discover how much you love Columbia.

42. Change your major. Twice.

43. Go to services at Riverside Church or to the Blessing of the Animals at St. John the Divine.

44. Take part in 40s on 40. If it still exists. If not, pour out a 40 for another casualty of the War on Fun. 45. Volunteer with Community Impact.

46. See a movie filming on campus. When the movie comes out, go to see it and obnoxiously point out Columbia scenes to your friends.

47. Go to a fireside chat. Eat mini-burgers and chocolate chip cookies in PrezBo’s living room.

48. Sneak onto the roof of Mudd, SIPA, or Sulz for a picnic.

49. Take a class on something you know absolutely nothing about.

50. Eat brunch terribly hungover at Community Food & Juice. Temporarily forget your woes.

51. Order the Spicy Special at CrackDel. Never actually find out its ingredients.

52. Take the M60 to LaGuardia. Foot the taxi bill for JFK. 53. Pull an all-nighter with the rest of your floor studying for the Lit Hum final.

54. Find a study spot in Butler. Sleep there to keep it during finals week.

55. Go to Orgo Night.

56. Go to the Hungarian Pastry Shop. Realize Artopolis and Café Amrita are better.

57. Spend a vacation on campus while it’s empty.

58. Go to Postcrypt in St. Paul’s Chapel.

59. Quote a Core text outside of class.

60. Take a class that meets in 309 Havemeyer Hall. Even if the class is awful, you won’t regret it.

61. Ignore the red flags on South Lawn.

62. Go to a World Leaders Forum event and shake hands with a foreign president—preferably a brutal autocrat.

63. High-five Roar-ee. Don’t get kicked by the visitors’ mascot.

64. Wish Obama would come for graduation. Realize it’s never going to happen.

65. Call CAVA for a friend.

66. Avoid getting CAVAed. 67. Start a CU Assassins team. Obsessively stalk your target.

68. Set foot in all five boroughs. Alternatively, set foot in four and look at Staten Island on the subway map.

69. Check out the view of campus from Butler’s roof, preferably at night.

70. Sled down Low Steps on a tray from Hewitt.

71. Start using Flex because it’s just like free money. Feel the wrath from your parents when it shows up on your tuition bill.

72. Get into museums free using your CUID. 73. Listen to your friend call it the “red line.” Call them a noob.

74. Write a term paper in 12 hours.

75. Realize Williamsburg isn’t the only place in Brooklyn worth visiting.

76. Regret wearing heels after falling on College Walk.

77. Walk all the way up Lerner using only the ramps. Wonder why it’s built like that.

78. Hear Jeffrey Sachs speak. Experience liberal guilt.

79. Sample the various local supermarkets. Pledge your heart to Westside.

80. Pass without ever scoring above 60 on a test (SEAS only).

81. Get an A without ever doing the reading (CC only).

82. Go to the tree-lighting and Yule Log ceremonies.

83. Walk from Battery Park to campus or vice versa.

84. Wait an hour, in the cold, while drunk, for chicken and rice from the cart on 53rd and Sixth. Shed tears of joy when it comes to campus.

85. Eagerly await the announcement of Bacchanal artists. Then complain that they suck.

86. Take the science or lab requirement. Almost fail out (nonscience majors only).

87. Get an Absolute Bagel. Never go to Nussbaum again.

88. Take Principles of Economics with Sunil Gulati. Become an econ major.

89. Discover econ majors have to take econometrics. Become an English major.

90. Try to go to a party in EC. Spend your whole night waiting to get signed in (Barnard/GS only).

91. Log onto CCE’s LionSHARE system and then realize that 90 percent of the internships are in consulting.

92. Get an “I love BC” T-shirt on Barnard Spirit Day. 93. Attend Homecoming once—the year you get free beer (seniors only).

94. Seriously consider dropping out. All the cool Columbians have.

95. Pledge to cook more. End up starting a line of credit at HamDel (cool kids only) or Milano (gourmet eaters only). Or Morton Williams (imbeciles only).

96. Attend a ceremonial religious meal, but not for your religion.

97. Have a drunken hookup. Awkwardly bump into said hookup everywhere.

98. Go to Health Services with a cold. Leave with condoms.

99. Get your parents to pay for dinner at Pisticci.

100. Join a campus tour and ask the tour guide awkward questions.

101. Get dragged out of bed at 4 a.m. for a fire alarm—three times in one week (Carman/McBain only). Swear to savagely beat the person who set off the alarm.

102. Attend a WBAR-B-Q. 103. Go for a run in Riverside Park.

104. Fall over after Dance Marathon.

105. Spend one summer living and working in the city.

106. Make friends with a General Studies student who is 10 years older than you.

107. Lose friends in Senior Regroup.

108. Walk across the Brooklyn Bridge at night. Eat at Grimaldi’s.

109. Write a paper based entirely on Wikipedia. Earn a B. 110. Realize the value of research librarians.

111. Check out Citi Field and the new Yankee Stadium.

112. Work an off-campus internship during the year.

113. Put off the swim test until second semester senior year (CC only). Consider inventing a water phobia to get out of it.

114. Hook up in the Butler stacks.

115. Remember that thesis you were supposed to write. Leave the stacks.

116. Graduate!

Hang this up on your wall and check off the boxes as you immerse yourself in life at Columbia. The first person to complete 30 traditions and send us pictures while doing them will receive a prize and be profiled on Spectrum. Send submissions to opinion@columbiaspectator.com.

ILLUTRATIONS BY AMALIA RINEHART

ORIENTATION 2011

Top 5 Tacos in the Greater MoHi Area

BY JOSEPH POMP Spectator Staff Writer 1. Taqueria y Fonda (968 Amsterdam Ave., between 107th and 108th streets) If any place in Manhattan has the potential to satisfy taco enthusiasts from California, this is it. The meat is the right kind of spicy, the cheese is the right kind of stringy, and they even offer nopales (prickly pear cactus pads).

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Top 5 Spots to Nap Besides a Dorm Room

BY MARICELA GONZALEZ Spectator Staff Writer 1. Mathematics Lawn A large lawn that isn’t closed off to students is hard to find on campus. With a perfect ratio of shade to light, this sequestered lawn provides the best outdoor spot for a peaceful nap.

2. Lerner leather seats Some of the oversized leather seats placed throughout Alfred Lerner Hall have seen better

2. Cascabel Taqueria (2799 Broadway, at 108th Street) Already a hit in the East 80s, this luchador-themed eatery just opened its MoHi location over the summer. A more upscale and roomier alternative to Taqueria y Fonda, it also boasts some of the best shrimp tacos in New York.

5. The Heights Bar & Grill (2867 Broadway, between 111th and 112th streets) Although not as popular as their burritos, stuffed tacos are included on The Heights’ $6.50 lunch special menu (choice of chicken, steak, portobello, or spinach). They are sure to pair nicely with a passion fruit or raspberry margarita.

BY ALLISON MALECHA Spectator Senior Staff Writer 1. Mac ‘n’ Cheese and Cornbread Comfort food—the key to beating the Lit Hum paper blues or those first pangs of homesickness. It’s also the key to the freshman 15, but still, John Jay’s mac ‘n’ cheese is one of the (very) few dishes worth joining the buffet line for.

2. Wilma’s Omelets If the tour guide didn’t mention them, most any upperclassman will—Wilma’s omelets are John Jay legendary, as is the peppy Wilma herself. Pick the mix-ins and Wilma will whip up the perfect hangover breakfast.

3. Hummus and Vegetables Though most first years are too busy grabbing piles of pizza and cookies to notice, the hummus at John Jay is weirdly good. The salad bar’s pita bread can be stale, but baby carrots and green peppers—or even cold grilled chicken when it’s at the sandwich station—always safe pairing bets.

4. Turkey Taco Salad Bowl This lunchtime Action Station option, which made an appearance most Mondays last semester, is worth looking forward to. The tortilla bowl is crunchy, if lacking a little in salt, and the turkey chili served over rice inside is hearty. There’s also always a vegan option.

5. Baked Ziti with Meat or Eggplant Ziti The oil-soggy noodles at the make-your-own pasta station are about the farthest things from appetizing, but these two are at least cheesy enough on top to hide whatever grease lies underneath.

Filling and tasty. General note: when the meat looks sketchy, as it so often does, the vegetarian options are usually pretty decent.

And when all else fails, load up on white chocolate chip cookies and fro-yo. Neither will ever disappoint.

Top 5 Nearby Escapes from Campus

BY IAN ERICKSON-KERY Spectator Staff Writer 1. Riverside Park (east of Riverside Drive, between 55th and Dyckman streets) Head just a block west from campus to discover a narrow, 4-mile long strip of grass, trees, paths, monuments, and waterfront. Spend an afternoon picnicking with friends or strap on running shoes and jog in either direction to get some potentiallyneglected exercise.

3. Peace Fountain at the Cathedral of St. John the Divine (Amsterdam Avenue, at 111th Street) Immediately across the street from Hungarian lies a park on the property of the cathedral. A circular sitting area surrounds a monumental bronze fountain, which can either be studied or ignored. This is one of the city’s great pockets of tranquility—come here to do the thinking (or relaxing) rendered impossible by too much time in Butler or with new floormates.

4. Levain Bakery (2167 Eighth Ave., between 116th

Top 5 Regional Eateries in New York

BY KATY TONG Spectator Staff Writer 1. Luke’s Lobster (426 Amsterdam Ave., between 80th and 81st streets) When the craving for a shellfish sandwich strikes, stop into Luke’s Lobster for reasonably affordable lobster rolls and an interior that resembles a New England seafood shack. The joint boasts four Manhattan locations and recently took to the streets in a new food truck.

2. Great Jones Café (54 Great Jones St., between Lafayette Street and Bowery) New York feels miles away at this lively diner with its hole-the-wall exterior. Creole staples, such as New Orleans-style jambalaya, gumbo, and poboy sandwiches, will sate anyone’s appetite for the bayou.

and 117th streets) What better way to elevate one’s spirits than a walk and a scrumptious, freshly baked cookie? Head east from the 116th and Amsterdam gates, cut across Morningside Park, and walk a few blocks into Harlem to uncover the tiny, but widely touted, bakery. The cookies are massive, so they can easily make two people’s days at once.

5. Book Culture (536 W. 112th St., between Broadway and Amsterdam Avenue) Students who come here to shop for course books might seek the quickest exit possible. However, those who linger (or come without the thought of class) will be rewarded. The store’s lower level has a small but curated selection of books ranging from art to politics and a great pick of magazines. The favored bookstore of Columbia’s faculty, its upper level is an intellectual treasure trove.

3. Makana (2245 First Ave., between 115th and 116th streets) Makana merges west coast inspiration with Lower East Side roots for a unique dining experience.

The East Harlem establishment offers authentic Hawaiian and Japanese BBQ, perfect for a quick spam musubi fix.

4. Carl’s Steaks (507 Third Ave., between 34th and 35th streets) The Philly cheesesteak sandwich at Carl’s Steaks is as authentic as it gets outside of its namesake location. Endure the greasy, clothes-clinging stench for a cheesesteak made fresh daily to flavorful perfection.

5. Georgetown Cupcake (111 Mercer St., between Prince and Spring streets) Magnolia Bakery will face some new competition in town when Georgetown Cupcakes of TLC’s “DC Cupcakes” fame exports its brand of tiny frosted cakes to New York later this year. Expect outrageous lines but moist, rich cakes as a reward for the wait.

Top 5 Boutiques Off the 1 Train: Easy-to-find City Style

BY MELISSA HANEY Spectator Staff Writer

stores. The shop also sells original, never-beforeworn items for those too timid to take the secondhand plunge.

1. Mint (448 Columbus Ave., between 81st and 82nd streets) Forgot that super-cute wardrobe staple at home?

Don’t fret, because Mint is just one of many Upper West Side boutiques that offer fashionable essentials at relatively affordable prices. Here, the racks are full of unique silhouettes and funky prints that will add some New York City swagger to any style.

2. Pippin Vintage Jewelry (112 W. 17th St., between Sixth and Seventh avenues) With limited time and money, buying a bunch of new clothes usually isn’t an option. Snagging a well-priced vintage accessory from a store just minutes from the 18th street station, however, is perfectly acceptable. Pippin Vintage Jewelry is the cure-all for a Columbian’s style depression, providing a wide range of kitschy necklaces, bracelets, rings, scarves, gloves, hats, and broaches.

3. Zachary’s Smile (9 Greenwich Ave., between 10th and Christopher streets) Vintage clothes shopping in New York City is not for the faint at heart—with hundreds upon

4. Barney’s Co-Op (236 W. 18th St., between Seventh and Eighth avenues) This Chelsea landmark is one of those places to look but never touch—mostly because touching may lead to hundreds of dollars spent. The store offers intricately constructed originals at “discount” prices from the Barney’s Madison Avenue location. However, various designer trunk shows and the bi-annual warehouse sales offer up some truly amazing, only-in-New-York fashion steals.

hundreds of overstocked shops, one must be wellversed in what makes a previously worn item more than just a piece of trendy trash. Zachary’s Smile, within walking distance from the 14th street station, is the perfect first step into the world of vintage shopping. Shelves of shirts, bags, scarves, and sweaters are organized by color and print, alleviating the tiresome scouring typical of most vintage

5. Patagonia (426 Columbus Ave., between 80th and 81st streets) New York City is cold. Not exactly breaking news, but come November, when the frigid wind comes whipping down Broadway, that windbreaker just isn’t going to cut it. The fleeces, jackets, hats, scarves, and gloves at Patagonia are reliable and unique—despite it being a national brand, the cold weather items sold here are far less ubiquitous than the North Face standards. Plus, Patagonia devotes much of its profits to environmentalist causes and many of its items are partially made from recycled fibers.

Top 5 Food Trucks Near 116th for a Snack or Meal on the Go

BY CLAIRE STERN Spectator Staff Writer 1. Sweetery, www.streetsweetsny.com Formerly known as Street Sweets, this truck serves up the sweetest desserts on four wheels. Its mobile menu features cookies, muffins, cakes, and ice cream sandwiches—as well as basic lunchtime fare like quiches, croissants, and soups. Be sure to try their signature dessert item: whoopie pies, $2 apiece.

2. Korilla BBQ, www.korillabbq.com Parking under the bridge to IAB on weeknights, Korilla is perhaps the most delicious Columbiafriendly food truck. Its build-your-own menu offers tasty Korean toppings, like kimchi, served up in generous portions. The bulgogi (black angus ribeye steak) burrito with sticky rice, spicy kimchi, and the famous Korilla sauce is highly recommended. It’s a steal at $7.

ILLUTRATIONS BY JIIN CHOI

3. John Jay lounge John Jay lounge is the perfect napping spot for first years seeking out a classic Ivy League common room feel. Curl up next to the ornate fireplace— or the decorative Christmas tree stationed there during the holiday season—and doze off just like Columbia students of yesteryear.

5. Avery Library Unlike Butler, Avery Library is so far free of bedbug sightings and contains the prettiest book stacks on campus. Besides, the lower level’s corner couch is much more suited for a midday snooze than studious reading.

2. Hungarian Pastry Shop (1030 Amsterdam Ave., between 110th and 111th streets) Yes, tourist guides include this one but with good reason. The pastry shop is a truly unique and charming spot to whittle away a few pages (or books!) from “The Odyssey,” eavesdrop, daydream, flirt, or chat up friends and strangers. While better coffee can be found elsewhere (read: Joe), it’s unlimited here. When paired with a good pastry, it will surely fuel that Lens paper due tomorrow morning.

Top 5 Edible Meals at John Jay Dining Hall

days, but that doesn’t mean they don’t maintain their title as the comfiest seats on campus. A short siesta on these chairs in between classes can be the best part of a busy student’s day—as long as someone isn’t playing the Main Lounge piano too poorly.

4. Avery Plaza Tucked between Avery, Schermerhorn, and Fayerweather, the plaza boasts a quiet getaway undisturbed by frisbee-throwing frat guys, tour groups, or parents with small children. This spot is especially peaceful during the spring when the cherry blossoms bloom.

3. El Toro Partido (3431 Broadway between 139th and 140th streets) This quintessential off-the-beaten-track, hole-inthe-wall gem has spectacular tacos that go for a mere $2 a pop. Try the chorizo or al pastor, which includes chopped grilled pineapple.

4. El Paso Taqueria (237 E. 116th St., between Second and Third avenues) The crosstown bus ride to East Harlem is well worth it for this solid Mexican establishment (with additional locations in Spanish Harlem and the Upper East Side).

PAGE 5

3. Wafels & Dinges, www.wafelsanddinges.com Waffles are great anytime of day, and students can thank Wafels & Dinges for making this delicious

treat available street side. The two options are the light and crispy Brussels Wafel and the soft and chewy Liège Wafel (both $5). A must-try topping is their special spekuloos spread (tastes like a combination of nutella and peanut butter).

4. Frites ‘N’ Meats, www.fritesnmeats.com With buns from Balthazar bakery and cheese from the famous Murray’s cheese shop, Frites ‘N’ Meats uses only the best ingredients in their gourmetquality burgers. For juicy and tender meat, order the grass-fed angus burger ($5.50). Compliment the burger with one (or two) of the truck’s deluxe toppings: garlicky guacamole, applewood smoked bacon, and oven roasted tomato jazzy sauce.

Definitely go for the side of double fried Belgian style frites—they’re perfectly thin and crispy and taste great with the aioli dipping sauces.

5. Joyride Truck, www.joyridetrucks.com Attention fro-yo lovers: the Joyride Truck makes a perfectly tart frozen treat with a mix of organic yogurt and all-natural greek yogurt. They also offer “Buzzed” yogurt (fro-yo infused with a dose of caffeine)—perfect for an afternoon pick-me-up.

Joyride offers fresh fruit and dessert-inspired toppings: oreos, Cap’n Crunch, gummy bears, and more. The best part? The indecisive can ask for as many toppings they want at no additional cost. The coffee is good too, with beans from Stumptown Coffee Roasters—the city’s best.

Dinosaur BBQ

This piece of Riverside Park was a citywide sensation when it opened in 1897.

Now, it also plays host to events and concerts. It was the planned location of Barnard’s commencement last year until it was rained out.

Grant’s Tomb

HUDSON RIVER

M2M

Morton Williams

Miller Theater

Chipotle

Five Guys

Starbucks

1

Westside

Mel’s

Koronet

The Heights

Pinkberry

120th Street

Post Office

Joe the Art of Coffee

Teacher’s College

Sezz Medi

Max Soha

Kitchenette

Artopolis

109 “CrackDel” Gourmet Deli

Crepes on Columbus

Miss Mamie’s Spoonbread Too

C B

Society Cafe

116th Street

map by jeremy bleeke and sarah darville

One of the most impressive sites in Morningside Heights, the cathedral remains unfinished, though construction began in 1892. It is featured in Art Humanities and has been the center of property disputes for the last several years.

St. John the Divine

Bier International

C B

Levain Bakery

Once known for its drug dealing and homeless populations, the park is now a popular place for families to relax during the day—though shootings in and near the park this summer have stirred neighborhood anxiety.

Morningside Park

PrezBo’s House

Faculty Club

Lines of students waiting to swipe in to get to parties on weekend nights have reached epic proportions, sparking plans for a new turnstile system.

East Campus

Columbia students who participated in ROTC programs at other NY schools raised the flag here last December for the first time in 42 years. After a campus-wide debate that dominated last spring, Bollinger gave the green light for a Navy ROTC program to begin at Columbia, and signed an agreement with the Navy in May.

Flagpole

110th Street

Columbia Cottage Hungarian P&W Sandwiches 1020

A/C B/D

Every Ivy League school has one of these—or at least, every one should. The dimly-lit, quiet cafe is the perfect place to read German philosophy, write postmodern fiction, or, more importantly, be seen doing either of these things. For 50 years, Hungarian has served coffee and pastries to Columbia’s pseudointellectual elite.

Amsterdam, b/t 110th and 111th, $

Hungarian Pastry Shop

Widely considered one of the best bagel shops on the Upper West Side, if not all of NYC, Absolute Bagels is worth walking the extra few blocks. The bagels are always fresh and almost always still warm, and there are a wide variety of spreads to choose from, including more exotic ones like jalapeño cream cheese.

Nussbaum may be convenient, but Absolute is far superior.

Broadway b/t 107th and 108th, $

Absolute Bagels

This restaurant can make otherwise ordinary food—meatloaf and mac ‘n’ cheese—sing. If the quirky decor doesn’t win you over, the top-notch pies and cakes will.

Amsterdam b/t 122nd and 123rd, $$

Kitchenette

The first thing to know about HamDel is that it’s not in Hamilton Hall. The second thing to know is that its heroes are not to be missed. Conventional wisdom says The Twister is the best, but there are plenty of delights on (and off) the menu.

Amsterdam b/t 115th and 116th, $

Hamilton Deli

A classic greasy-spoon diner plunked down on Broadway. Friendly service, good prices, and tasty food. What’s not to love?

Broadway b/t 112th and 113th, $$

Deluxe

With milkshakes, gelato, crepes, and pastries, this little cafe takes the best of Tom’s and the Hungarian Pastry Shop and makes it classy. A down-to-earth joint that’s good enough for your parents.

Amsterdam b/t 113th and 114th, $$

Artopolis

This Asian convenience store is an excellent place to go when you need a studying snack. They have the best fries in Morningside, and pretty solid burgers, too. If you’re looking for something a little lighter, their sushi is decent and cheap.

B’way b/t 114th and 115th, $

M2M

Finally, there is a place to get consistently excellent coffee on campus. Sure, Oren’s can be good some days and Starbucks is at least reliably mediocre, but coffee lovers should just head straight to Joe when they need their fix. The sandwiches and pastries are solid as well.

120th and B’way, in NoCo, $

Joe the Art of Coffee

Another one of the many sandwich shops in MoHi, P&W is a great (and cheaper) alternative to Milano. If you’re looking for something with turkey, Diana’s Delight (turkey, brie, apples, and honey mustard) is one of the best sandwiches in the neighborhood.

Amsterdam b/t 111th and 110th, $

P&W

While there are many sandwich shops in Morningside Heights, Milano is the best option for gourmet sandwiches. Their very extensive menu can be a bit overwhelming, but almost everything on it is delicious.

113th and B’way, $$

Milano

Arguably the best Thai food in the area—be sure to try the Siam Duck or, if you want something spicy, the Thai Basil Sauce. It’s great if you want your food delivered quickly, but it’s also a nice place to have a sit-down meal if you want to get away from campus for bit.

107th and Amsterdam, $$

Thai Market

A cozy Italian eatery where they’ll probably serve you wine without thinking twice. The pasta is divine—particularly the eggplant rigatone and the fettucine al sugo Tuscano with their signature meat sauce. Cash only.

Amsterdam, b/t 122nd and 123rd, $$

Max Soha

The food won’t blow you away, but you’re not coming here for the food, you’re coming for the atmosphere. With its philosophical menu, crazily painted ceiling, and flaming cheese dish—served with a cry of “Opa!”—this old Greek restaurant will charm even the most jaded Columbian. Try the spaghetti keftedes.

113th, b/t B’way and Amsterdam, $$

Symposium

Whether you’re a stranger to tebsi in berbere sauce or fresh off the plane from Addis Ababa, you’ll fall in love with this cozy Ethiopian restaurant north of campus. Take someone special there and split the monkfish.

121st and Amsterdam, $$

Massawa

EDITORS’ PICKS: MOHI EATERIES

Freshman year is full of mistakes. Just because you can sign up for Algebraic Topology I doesn’t mean you should. But some errors of judgment we can help you with. This trusty map will lead you on your way to Columbia’s most important sites, delicious restaurants, and convenient convenience stores. Don’t make the mistake of leaving your dorm without it.

Amateur Night at the Apollo is famous for giving Ella Fitzgerald and the Jackson 5, among many others, their start. The venue still hosts small concerts by big names, including Paul McCartney, who performed there last December.

Apollo Theatre

Known as Harlem’s Main Street, this historic strip is now home to an increasing number of chains, like Starbucks, Applebee’s, Old Navy, and H&M.

125th Street

St. Luke’s - Roosevelt Hospital

HamDel

SubsConscious

Appletree

Massawa

This public housing complex is located across Broadway from the Manhattanville construction site, and has historically been a hotspot for crime. Students partnered with tenants last year to start a community garden on the property.

General Grant Houses

Starbucks Last December, five students were arrested on charges of selling drugs from Havana their rooms—three of them from fraterCentral nities housed in brownstones on 114th Symposium Street. The widely-publicized arrests Deluxe prompted a University investigation Nussbaum Milano into the fraternities and the Intercultural Oren’s Resource Center, where a fourth suspect was living, which ended with the Tom’s fraternities losing their brownstones and being put on probation.

Book Culture

114th Street ex-fraternity houses

UPS

Home to most Columbia administrators. University President Lee Bollinger’s and Executive Vice-President Robert Kasdin’s offices look out from behind the columns over the laws.

1

Columbia’s newest building, which includes a library, opened in December.

Joe The Art of Coffee has been providing engineers and hipsters their caffeine fix since January.

NW Corner Building

Low Library

et

Str e

Jewish Theological Seminary

5th

Union Theological Seminary

Manhattan School of Music

Riverside Church

Pisticci

Toast

1

12

Columbia is building a new complex of buildings just north of Morningside Heights, in Manhattanville.

After some tenants challenged the University’s use of eminent domain, the plans wound through the courts for years until the University prevailed. Now, entire blocks are under construction, and a new science center, conference center, and homes for SIPA, the Business School, and the School of the Arts are on the way.

Manhattanville expansion construction site

Claremont

Fairway Market

The oldest school in the City University of New York system has a beautiful campus just two stops north of Columbia’s Morningside campus.

Morningside Avenue

This huge building looks out over the Manhattanville construction site.

Tenants have long complained of tensions with management, and Columbia is providing air conditioners to hundreds of tenants who face the construction.

Henry Hudson Parkway

City College

Manhattan Avenue

3333 Broadway

Riverside Park

St. Nicholas Park

Morningside Heights

Riverside Drive

rive Morn

Frederick Douglas Boulevard

a guide to

Broadway

Amsterdam Avenue

Morningside Park de D ingsi

ic s et

Central Park

.N St la ho re St

EDITORIAL & OPINION

PAGE 8

Meet the Seniors NEIL FITZPATRICK Current blogger, former columnist and associate editorial page editor.

Who are you?

A creative writing major with a concentration in East Asian languages and cultures (which doesn’t really matter, but which you’ll spend the next few years thinking matters a whole lot).

Why did you join Spec?

I was on the paper in high school, wrote one article during orientation week my first year, and was asked by the person who edited that article to take her job at the paper. I learned two lessons that day: 1.) It’s never too early to join Spec. 2.) If anybody

EMILY TAMKIN Current columnist and blogger, former editorial page editor.

Who are you?

I’m a senior in CC majoring in Russian literature and culture, former Spec editorial page editor, current columnist and blogger, lover of ’80s pop culture, and valiant defender of Ke$ha.

Why did you join Spec?

To be like Neil FitzPatrick.

Interviews with three of our opinion writers who are entering their final years at Columbia.

compliments you at Columbia they’re usually about to ask you to do more work.

What book should you actually read in Lit Hum? Nobody reads everything, but read as much as you can.

You’ll like the class a lot more if you do, and nobody ever regretted having the knowledge in those books. That said, if you have to choose one, read “Crime and Punishment.”

Favorite study spot?

My room. I never understood the appeal of studying in front of other people, but maybe that’s because I study naked.

Survival tip for NSOP week?

Don’t worry about finding people you like during NSOP week—most people won’t start acting like themselves until week three anyway.

And because I like editing and writing. As an editor, I like helping people articulate their opinions. And as a writer, I like to trick people into reading mine.

What book should you actually read in Lit Hum? Since you’ll read “Pride and Prejudice” and “Crime and Punishment” anyway, be sure to read “Don Quixote.”

It takes a while to get into it, but once you’re in, you’re in.

It’s basically the exclusive nightclub of Lit Hum books.

Just go out and do things.

See the city. Organize people on your floor if you have to— nobody will dislike you for doing that.

A word of advice for incoming first-years?

Columbia’s not the easiest place to be a first-year, but how happy you are is largely dependent on the effort you make. Join groups that interest you, introduce yourself to everyone, and find the two or three people that you don’t feel like you have to perform for. (And if you’re someone who wants to go out, invest in a fake ID. There’s no point in further limiting your already limited social options.)

Columbia gets exponentially better every year, and four years here will probably do more to make you an adult than four years spent elsewhere.

Favorite study spot?

There’s a level on the third floor of Butler that’s elevated above the main part of the floor. It feels like studying in a tree house, which is all I ever really wanted.

Describe the BarnardColumbia relationship in one sentence.

It’s complicated.

A word of advice to incoming first-years?

Breathe. You’ll love it here. It just takes some time.

CAROLINE BLOSSER Current blogger.

Who are you?

An Ancient History major with pending and probably never-to-becompleted minors in English and religion. I’m also aloof.

Why did you join Spec?

I don’t actually remember.

Which probably means I was drugged, kidnapped, and forced to join by a masked and marauding posse of

ORIENTATION 2011 sleep deprived editors and columnists.

Starr Library is my home away from home.

What book should you actually read in Lit Hum? Because I’m a Barnard student, I did not take Lit Hum. Instead I read “Moby Dick” in an ocean literature class taught by a maritime history professor who sails boats on the weekends and is missing a pinky. (You know you’re jealous.) Other than that, I’ve heard “Crime and Punishment” is good.

Survival tip for NSOP week?

Patience, young grasshoppers.

You have the next four years of your life to meet people. In the meantime, embrace the awkward, and strike up conversations with people sitting or standing alone.

Favorite study spot?

The cupboard under the stairs.

If that’s occupied, East Asian

A word of advice to incoming first-years?

College is too important to be taken seriously. And leggings are not pants. Or wait, did you want an actual “word of advice”? In that case, tomfoolery.

ORIENTATION 2011

SPORTS

Instilling Ivy hatred and ridicule from an early age

BY JIM PAGELS Spectator Senior Staff Writer There’s a perception around campus that Columbia sports suck. Or that Columbia sports blow. Let me set aside all of these myths. Whether or not Columbia blows or sucks, I can personally guarantee the wind created by the other seven Ivy schools singlehandedly caused Hurricane Irene. No joke. Look it up. brown Do you really think these hippy feng shui majors have any athletic fortitude? No. In fact, one former athlete recently advocated in a column for the athletics department to be eliminated altogether. cornell Cornell offers a course called “Sheep.” Yes, that’s the title. The Big Red may be able to hang a 2010 Sweet Sixteen banner, but the students will probably celebrate by going cow tipping or drinking beer they brewed from the wheat and barley they harvested last fall. dartmouth Okay, so the general perception is that we suck at sports, but Dartmouth really sucks at sports.

If the Pittsburgh Pirates, Detroit Lions, and LA Clippers invested in a college team, they’d choose Dartmouth. Luckily for Hanover residents, many don’t know about the Big Green’s revolting play since they don’t have the Internet up there.

harvard Jeremy Lin may be the first Ivy player in 16 years to enter the NBA, but that doesn’t make up for the embarrassment of storming the court when the Crimson clinched a share of the Ivy basketball title last season, but then lost to Princeton in a one-game playoff.

Helpful tips for navigating the Columbia sports scene

BY MRINAL MOHANKA Spectator Senior Staff Writer Tips for attending CU athletics events: • Find the fan bus for football games. It leaves from the 116th and Broadway gates and is free.

• Wear Light Blue.

• Take a picture with Roar-ee the Lion (our mascot).

• Make some noise: loudly sing the fight song and “Who owns New York” (note: avoid this practice at golf and fencing meets).

• Pregame all events you attend.

• Participate in crowd-wide chants (“Let’s go Lions,” “airball,” etc.)

• Do not attempt to start the wave at baseball games.

You’ll get worn out quickly

penn The Fighting Quakers? Even though they’ve won two straight Ivy football titles, the only thing they’d do to celebrate a third is flip over a giant button sculpture on campus—which would be a very Philly sports fan thing to do. princeton Do we even need to explain this? Eating clubs, lawn parties, popped collars, polo matches (ok, not really on the last one).

We could print an entire list of all the reasons Princeton sucks, but it would likely destroy whatever’s left of the Amazon Rainforest. The Lions have beaten the Tigers by a combined score of 80-14 on the gridiron the past two years, and that trend doesn’t look to change anytime soon. yale No need to poke fun at the Bulldogs—they already have to live in New Haven, aka the Fallujah of Connecticut. We recommend following the behavior of the Trinity squash team the next time you come in contact with an Eli (yes, that’s actually one of their nicknames).

PAGE 9

• • •

• •

between the three of you.

Spend Oct. 29 and/or Nov. 5 at Baker Field watching football, men’s soccer, and women’s soccer back-to-back-to-back.

Chant “safety school” when we play Cornell.

Go to Basketball Mania (date TBD) and other events early to get free swag.

Don’t get mad if the people in front of you are standing— you’re supposed to do that at games.

Don’t wait until you’re a senior to go to a sporting event.

You’ll regret it.

Note: Levien Gym is located on campus in the Dodge Fitness Center, and Baker Field is at 218th Street and Broadway (nearest subway stop is 215th Street on the 1 train).

FILE PHOTO

ALYSON GOULDEN / SENIOR STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

FACIAL | Fortunately, no residents of Hanover will be aware of this embarrassment, as the Internet has yet to be installed there.

•

HITCH A RIDE | Don’t waste your subway fare getting up to Baker. Put your student activities fee to use and take the fan bus.

Seven notable moments in Lions history

BY JIM PAGELS Spectator Senior Staff Writer

While largely irrelevant in the grand scheme of things since their first football game against Rutgers in 1870, the Light Blue have managed to make a few headlines.

7) March 20, 1998 Cristina Teuscher, CC ’00, became the first female Ivy Leaguer to win an NCAA championship in swimming when she took the 500-yard freestyle in 4:35.45.

Teuscher went on to win a gold medal in the women’s 4x200 freestyle relay at the 1996 Summer Olympics and a bronze medal in the 200m individual medley at the 2000 Olympics.

6) Dec. 10, 1983 The men’s soccer team tragically suffered a 1-0 double-overtime loss to Indiana in the NCAA Championship game. This is still the furthest an Ivy team has ever gone in the NCAA tournament. The Lions went 18-0 that season before falling to the Hoosiers and were ranked first in the nation at the end of the regular season.

5) Jan. 1, 1934 The Columbia football team defeated Stanford 7-0 to win the Rose Bowl—the

only bowl game in all of college football at the time. The Lions beat the Indians thanks to a tricky play by Light Blue quarterback Cliff Montgomery, CC ’34, that lead to a Columbia touchdown in the second quarter. Though the Rose Bowl Player of the Game award wasn’t created until 1953, Montgomery receives the honor retroactively.

4) April 18, 1923 In a game against Williams College, Lou Gehrig struck out an Ivy League record 17 batters. In the only season he played for Columbia, Gehrig hit .403 with seven home runs—some of which are fabled to have broken windows in the Journalism building—the baseball field was South Field (now called South Lawn) at the time.

After the 1923 season, Gehrig signed with the Yankees, taking his talents 40 blocks north to team up with Babe Ruth.

3) April 1968 After taking the national basketball scene by storm, the 1968 men’s basketball team beat nationally ranked Louisville, West Virginia, and St. Johns in the regular season, even prompting a Sports Illustrated feature. However, they still had one more game to

win for their first-and-only Ivy championship. In a one-game playoff against Princeton, the Lions won 92-74, giving them a bid to the NCAA tournament where they advanced to the Sweet 16.

2) Oct. 8, 1988 The fact that one of Columbia’s crowning sports achievements is simply ending a streak of atrocity might tell you a bit about the history of the athletics department here. Luckily those times are (mostly) in the past, but from 1983 to 1988, the Lions set an FBS-record losing streak of 44 games. After five years, the Light Blue held onto a thrilling 16-13 win over Princeton at Baker, inciting fans to rush the field and tear down the goalposts.

1) July 4, 1878 The Columbia crew team became the first international squad to win a race at the Henley Royal Regatta. The Lions defeated University College, Oxford and HertfordCollege, Oxford, marking the first-ever loss of an English crew in English waters. This is the first year that the Visitors’ Challenge Cup— the race the Light Blue won—is open to foreigners.

PAGE 10

SPORTS

ORIENTATION 2011

Being a fan makes the rare So here’s the gist: essential facts for any Columbia fan highlights worth the woes

BY JIM PAGELS AND MRINAL MOHANKA Columbia Daily Spectator To all the soon-to-be-diehard Columbia sports fans, hello and a very warm welcome to Morningside Heights. You may not know much about athletics at Columbia, but we at Spectator are here to provide a brief introduction to varsity sports, and tell you why it may be worth your while to invest the time in becoming a fan.

Let’s rip the Band-Aid off right away—the 2011-12 Columbia teams are not the all-time greatest. They probably won’t dominate the Ivy League, and they probably won’t be champions at every sport.

College GameDay won’t be making an appearance at Baker, you shouldn’t pencil the Lions into the Final Four in your NCAA bracket just yet, and the administration isn’t saving any space on the side of Butler to engrave Noruwa Agho’s name.

However, they definitely will provide top-quality entertainment and a sense of community spirit (which can be rare on this campus, let us tell you), completely free of charge. Last year, Henning Sauerbier scored a goal in the final minute of normal time, giving the men’s soccer team a electrifying victory against Dartmouth, and the

men’s tennis team rallied from 0-3 down to beat Yale in a 4-3 thriller.

We can personally guarantee that Friday night basketball games at Levien are about 10 times louder than Primal Scream, and there’s a good chance you’ll see that fencer you sit next to in poli-sci on TV in London next summer.

There’s a certain passion that comes from backing the underdog (and without a doubt, that’s what the Light Blue will be in many of its contests this year). The joy of every precious triumph will more than compensate for the losses you may witness. Several Lions teams have been on the rise these past few seasons—most noticeably volleyball and men’s soccer—and 2011-12 promises to be a campaign that provides its fair share of highlights.

The people representing the Light Blue will be your friends, classmates, and floor-mates, and they could use your support.

Don’t you want to be there to watch them make history?

Jim Pagels is a Columbia College junior majoring in American Studies and English.

Mrinal Mohanka is a Columbia College senior majoring in economics. They are the sports editors of the Columbia Spectator. sports@columbiaspectator.com

The 135th year of publication Independent since 1962

football Record Last Year: 4-6, 2-5 Ivy Ivy Position: Sixth place Last Ivy Title: 1962 Key Player: Sean Brackett, CC ’13 Coach: Norries Wilson Where They Play: Baker Field

women’s basketball Record Last Year: 6-83, 2-3-2 Ivy Ivy Position: Fifth place Last Ivy Title: 1994 Key Player: David Najem, CC ’14 Coach: Kevin Anderson Where They Play: Baker Field

men’s basketball Record Last Year: 15-13, 6-8 Ivy Ivy Position: Fifth place Last Ivy Title: 1968 Key Player: Noruwa Agho, CC ’12 Coach: Kyle Smith Where They Play: Levien Gymnasium

women’s soccer Record Last Year: 9-5, 3-3-1 Ivy Ivy Position: Fifth place Last Ivy Title: 2007 Key Player: Ashlin Yahr, CC ’12 Coach: Kevin McCarthy Where They Play: Baker Field

HANG TEN Junior Nate Gery and Kevin Kung CC’11 were key contributors to the Lions’ tenth men’s tennis title in 2010.

women’s basketball Record Last Year: 7-21, 6-8 Ivy Ivy Position: Fifth place Last Ivy Title: Never won Key Player: Brianna Orlich, CC ’14 Coach: Paul Nixon Where They Play: Levien Gymnasium

ORIENTATION ISSUE STAFF

SAMUEL E. ROTH Editor in Chief

MICHELE CLEARY Managing Editor

ADITYA MUKERJEE Publisher

LEAH GREENBAUM Campus News Editor

SARAH DARVILLE City News Editor

ALLISON MALECHA Arts & Entertainment Editor

GABRIELLA PORRINO Editoral Page Editor

REBEKAH MAYS Editorial Page Editor

MRINAL MOHANKA Sports Editor

JIM PAGELS Sports Editor

ANN CHOU Design Editor

JEREMY BLEEKE Design Editor

MABEL MCLEAN Sales Director

CONTRIBUTORS:

ALYSON GOULDEN / SENIOR STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER

|

Design Jiin Choi Copy Maggie Alden, Emily Handsman Photo Hannah Botkin

volleyball Record Last Year: 16-9, 8-6 Ivy Ivy Position: Tied for third place Last Ivy Title: Never won Key Player: Megan Gaughn, CC ’13 Coach: Jon Wilson Where They Play: Levien Gymnasium

men’s tennis Record Last Year: 8-15, 2-5 Ivy Ivy Position: Sixth place Last Ivy Title: 2010 Key Player: Haig Schneiderman, CC ’13 Coach: Bid G0oswami Where They Play: Baker Field

ORIENTATION 2011

CLASSIFIEDS

PAGE 11

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PAGE 12

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OPEN HOUSE: FALL SEMESTER Saturday, September 3, at 2 p.m. and 3 p.m.

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