Time and permeability: meeting others on common ground

In my last column, I talked about complexity, the second in my five-part series on our relationship with time, and how we respond to it.

This month let’s look at what happens when you move from complexity into permeability.

When you become permeable, you’re heavily influenced by the ideas of others, the world around you, and demands being made on you. You’re so saturated with what’s going on outside yourself you lose your sense of inner balance, become detached from your core, and your sense of wellbeing. You can feel isolated and likely have trouble discerning what’s working and not working in your life, which can lend to your feeling of a lack of confidence.

When it comes to decision-mak- ing, confidence isn’t something you acquire or make yourself do. It’s the result of knowing your self, having grace with limiting factors and setting strong boundaries.

Having too many projects, attending to everyone else’s needs, reading every social media meme about how to be the best, can contribute to your feelings confusion and defeat.

Here are a few ways I work with my clients so they are able to redirect their feelings of overwhelm: Re-name confusion and call it “my options.” Confusion keeps you stuck and helpless, while

LINDA SHAPLEY Publisher lshapley@coloradocommunitymedia.com

MICHAEL DE YOANNA Editor-in-Chief michael@coloradocommunitymedia.com

KRISTEN FIORE West Metro Editor kfiore@coloradocommunitymedia.com

ANDREW FRAIELI Community Editor afraieli@coloradocommunitymedia.com having options just means there is more than one way to see your situation.

Relax and let yourself see the circumstances are unclear, not YOU.

Notice where and when your sense of self returns as you reframe confusion and turn it into understanding your options.

Next, bring on your decisionmaking power by asking yourself some questions to help you discern what is most important to you now:

Which options serve your needs now and what can be moved to the mid-and long term?

What results are you seeking?

What will you achieve if you can bundle your options?

Which options are you ready to release for good?

MINDY NELON Marketing Consultant mnelon@coloradocommunitymedia.com

AUDREY BROOKS Business Manager abrooks@coloradocommunitymedia.com

ERIN FRANKS Production Manager efranks@coloradocommunitymedia.com

LINDSAY NICOLETTI Operations/ Circulation Manager lnicoletti@coloradocommunitymedia.com

What boundaries will you set in order to implement them?

Answering even some of these questions will begin to set you free from the information tsunami coming toward you.

Something marvelous will start to happen — you will feel more grounded and able to tackle what’s in front of you. Your sense of self will return — you’ll feel more sure of your direction. Now, you’re inhabiting your confidence.

Coach, and owner of KAHANE COACHING (www.kahanecoaching.com), located at 30792 Southview Drive/Suite 206 in Evergreen, CO. For more information about coaching, or to write-in a question for UNlearn it! send your inquiries to christine@kahanecoaching.com.

Columnists & Guest Commentaries

Columnist opinions are not necessarily those of the Transcript. We welcome letters to the editor. Please include your full name, address and the best number to reach you by telephone.

Email letters to kfiore@coloradocommunitymedia.com

Deadline Wed. for the following week’s paper.