SPEED DATING

invest energy and interest into somebody who’s not going to reciprocate that energy and interest.”

Alex Zaborenko, who attended the January Tantra Speed Date event, said reciprocity is important to him in terms of relationship goals as well, not only attraction. As someone who is looking for non-monogamous relationships, he said online dating pro les and open communication help him nd people who have the same goals in mind.

“I don’t want or need just one magic person to connect with me on every level that I might connect with a partner,” he said. “Once I reached the conclusion, then it just felt much better that I can communicate what I’m looking for honestly and they can choose what they want to do with that information.”

Are you worth my (client’s) time?

For Abby Rosenblum, investing time and energy in the right people is part of her business model.

Rosenblum is the founder and head matchmaker at e Social: Modern Matchmaking, a Colorado-based service that also hosts speed dating events.

Rosenblum’s services focus not only on helping her clients nd potential partners, but also on building their con dence and making dating enjoyable.

“ e sad part is I think we’re almost taught that dating should be di cult, should be frustrating and should be some kind of just negative thing in your life,” she said. “So a lot of the work I do is trying to teach people that dating can actually be fun, which is a crazy concept to almost everyone.”

When setting up dates, Rosenblum looks for people with values and physical appearances that t with what her clients are looking for.

“And then the other thing I look for too (is) like, is this person ready to date?” she said. “Are they in a good place? … Because you can meet the greatest person ever tomorrow, but if they’re like, ‘I just got red from my job and I hate everything,’ you might not connect with them in as good of a way.”

Rosenblum works mainly with singles in stable careers who are looking for serious, committed and monogamous relationships. As a matchmaker, she helps lter out potential partners who do not align with her clients’ stages of life so she can ensure they are investing their time and energy in relationships that could have a future.

Rosenblum, who works mainly with heterosexual clients, often collaborates with the head matchmaker at Denver’s Cupid, a matchmaking service that works with LGBTQ+ singles.

Like Smith, she doesn’t think speed dating events are a silver bullet for knowing if a relationship will work, but she said they can still be bene cial. Her company hosts speed dating at its events, including a single mingle that happened the rst week of February in Englewood.

In Rosenblum’s speed dating games, participants receive conversation prompts to help people learn something about their partners, from travel dreams to relationship goals.

“It’s like, ‘OK, am I curious to get to know them more?’ she said. “ at’s really the only thing you need to know after that ve minutes, because it’s hard to know anything else… What’s the harm in meeting again?”

A new hope for dating

Andrea Cunningham has been dating on and o for the past 10 years. She decided to attend the January Tantra Speed Date event when her housemate invited her because she thought it would introduce her to spiritually open minded people.

“He actually said, ‘Do you want to go to a woo-woo speed dating event?’ and my thought was ‘Oh, yeah, that might be my kind of people,’ because I’m not nding a lot of woo-woo folks on OkCupid,” she said.

At 58 years old, Cunningham is looking for someone who is compassionate, exible and open to “more heart-centered ideas,” she said.

Going into the speed dating event, Cunningham was feeling skeptical, she said. Mainly, she thought speed dating would be intimidating, but it wasn’t.

“I think maybe my whole idea about speed dating was wrong,” she said. “Maybe you’re not just awkwardly trying to talk with people 10 times in a row for five minutes. Maybe there’s more to it than that… That was welldesigned.”

After her experience (and several dates that arose from the event), she said speed dating might be giving her new hope after taking a pause from dating for a while.

“I was trying to do a little online, I wasn’t getting anywhere, I stopped,” she said. “Then this came up — it may kick me into gear again.”

Renewing excitement about dating and personal connection is a goal of many speed dating events, especially in a world where fewer and fewer people feel connected to each other.

In Shahar’s speed dating events, re-connecting is the greatest benefit and goal.

“If you are tired of feeling disconnected from the world, and you want to have a moment of connection, this is a really great way to step into that,” he said. “Is it for everyone? No, I don’t think it’s for everyone. But it is for people that are like, ‘Hey, I want to create something magical within my relationship life and my dating life.’”