Know before saying ‘no’

There is an old saying, “If you don’t ask, you don’t get” or, “If you don’t ask, the answer will always be no.” Many times these are associated with salespeople who stopped short of asking their prospect for the order or fail to ask for critical information or an immediate next step. However, these sayings hold true for all of us. For some, asking comes very naturally. We understand the consequences of not asking so we are always bold enough to speak up, knowing that fortune favors the bold. en there are others of us who have a deeply rooted fear of rejection so asking for something, anything requires us to summon our courage before breaking out into a cold sweat while meekly and nervously uttering out our question.

ere is also something else at play here when it comes to hearing the word “no,” or being refused a request. Some people are so tired and burnt out that the word “no” has become their rst response to everything.

TAYLER SHAW Community Editor tshaw@coloradocommunitymedia.com

ERIN ADDENBROOKE Marketing Consultant eaddenbrooke@coloradocommunitymedia.com

AUDREY BROOKS Business Manager abrooks@coloradocommunitymedia.com

ERIN FRANKS Production Manager efranks@coloradocommunitymedia.com

Even the simplest of asks or tasks is met with resistance. e smallest requests are seen as monumental hills to climb. e thinking is that the person making such a request clearly has no idea just how much work this is going to require or how di cult it will be. Saying “no” for some folks has become an art form, they can say “no” and still have the person who asked walk away feeling good. Others may subscribe to the philosophy of saying “no” to everything as fast as possible so others will stop asking them for anything. e rst word out of their mouth is literally always “no.”

Here’s the thing, sometimes we get so conditioned to saying “no” that it really has become our rst response instead of rst taking the time to learn more, so we know what it is that we are really saying “no” to or refusing to do. I do believe in saying “no” to more of the things we shouldn’t be doing so that we can say “yes” to more of the things we should or could be doing. However, not at the expense of missing an opportunity to get done what needs to get done.

SEE NORTON, P15

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Deadline Wed. for the following e rst graders are learning how to make digital artwork. As Benson spoke, he pointed to the corner of the classroom, where he said some fth graders had built a green screen out of paper and are working on making an animation with Legos.

Benson’s sixth graders, for example, are raising trout to release into a river at the end of the school year with the Division of Wildlife.

“It’s just kind of like taking every kid’s curiosity and just letting them apply it in a way that’s exciting,” Benson said. “Most things can apply to the subject area; it’s pretty cool.”

Expo activities

In one classroom at the expo, kids made prints with visitors from Letterpress Depot, a museum and vintage letterpress printshop. Executive director Tom Parson said his favorite part of the event was teaching the students.

“ e kids, the kids – always the kids,” he said. “It’s when people see, the rst time they take a look – ‘Oh my god, what did I just do? I got this color!’”

In the gymnasium, Kin Quitugua from an environmental education organization called HawkQuest taught students about hawks, eagles, falcons and owls.

“A lot of people never see a bald eagle this close,” he said. “You can certainly bring in slides and pictures and lms, but I think it’s a lot more exciting to see the real thing.”

Career Day

Prior to the expo, Cherrelyn students met many other visitors at their rst annual Career Day, which took place during regular school hours. Law enforcement o cers, a cosmetologist and a aerospace engineers were just a few of the visitors who came to talk to the students about their jobs and how they use STEAM knowledge in them.

Cherrelyn student Roland Gutschow said he had two favorite parts of the Career Day.

“ e rst one was the police place because they ew drones and we got to get a picture and they showed us equipment and stu like that,” he said. “My (other) favorite was the Ball Aerospace where they showed us pictures of the new telescope they launched a hundred million miles away from the planet.”

Chelsey Larson, a counselor at Cherrelyn who helped plan the Career Day, said it’s important and exciting for young students to be exposed to di erent career paths.

“ e opportunities are endless for them,” she said. “ ey just don’t have an understanding of careers besides those big ones that you always see in movies or books... We want to broaden their horizon to what they’re exposed to and see what sticks in the future for them.”

Benson said it’s also great for kids to start thinking about careers at a young age because there are oppor- tunities for them to explore di erent paths on deeper levels as they go through their Englewood educations.

“I think it’s part of like them being knowledgeable enough to know… like, ‘When I get to middle school, I wanna explore this’ or “When I get to high school, I want to take these classes.’”

Principal Sheri Kangas said career exploration is also important because it helps kids to feel engaged in school and build con dence.

“By the time kids get to high school, if they have not had something that engages them or they have not felt successful in elementary, it’s very challenging to have them see those connections or see a purpose or feel con dent in their skills,” she said. “Starting early helps kids to build those pieces of con dence and to know that problem solving is a piece. It’s not about always getting the answer right; it’s about how to work through a problem.”

If you are leading a team, you probably wouldn’t want them to stop coming to you with questions. If you are a part of a team, you also wouldn’t want to be left out of opportunities to collaborate and problem solve. And any parent certainly wouldn’t want their child to stop coming to them with questions or requests, instead, just taking actions into their own hands and dealing with the consequences later. When the “no” monster inside of us is unleashed, we invite contempt and disharmony in any relationship.

Years ago, I had a coworker named Frank. Frank would say “no” to everything at rst. But not for the reasons mentioned above or that you might be thinking. He taught

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Colorado Community Media welcomes letters to the editor. Please note the following rules: me one of the greatest lessons of my life when it came to decisionmaking relative to both the person asking for something and the person being asked. He would say “no” if the request wasn’t supported with the “why.” Or Frank would say “no” if the person asking didn’t really understand everything involved in what they were asking for.

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What Frank taught me and I hope to pass along to you is this: Before saying “no,” take the time to ask more questions and get as much detail as possible before making your decision. And before you ask for anything, know the “why” behind your request, and what it is you are really asking the other person or team to do for you.

Are you saying “no” simply out of habit? Is the “no” monster hurting your relationships at home or at work? Do you understand the concept of including your “why”

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• Keep it polite: No name calling or “mudslinging.” behind your request? I would love to hear your story at gotonorton@ gmail.com, and when we can take the time to know before we say “no,” it really will be a better than good life.

Michael Norton is an author, a personal and professional coach, consultant, trainer, encourager and motivator of individuals and businesses, working with organizations and associations across multiple industries.

Make-A-Wish Colorado alumni, volunteers celebrate its 40th anniversary

BY CORINNE WESTEMAN CWESTEMAN@COLORADOCOMMUNITYMEDIA.COM

2023 has already been a big year for Make-A-Wish.

Wish Week fundraisers have been in full swing at local schools this winter, and basketball legend Michael Jordan donated $10 million — the largest individual donation ever — to the national organization last month. And spring 2023 could be even bigger.

Make-A-Wish Colorado celebrates its 40th anniversary this year and is hosting an anniversary celebration and fundraiser in April in Denver. Since it started, Make-A-Wish Colorado has granted more than 6,000 wishes for children with critical illnesses as a way of giving them hope and something to look forward to during their treatment.

Golden’s Ben Bontrager, 10, went to Hawaii for his wish last spring. He was diagnosed in early 2020 with Burkitt’s lymphoma and was sick for almost a year, with his mom Sarah saying, “We almost lost him a couple times.”

Ben, who’s now in remission, said going to Hawaii was “the rst thing idea that popped in my head,” because he wanted to get out and do something fun.

“I was sick of being home,” he continued.

Now, Ben and his family are becoming Make-A-Wish ambassadors so that they can help other families through the same process.

Dad Je Bontrager said Ben’s wish was a “bright spot” to think about during those long days at the hospital, adding, “ e thought that (MakeA-Wish) has done it over and over for people, it’s really pretty amazing.”

For Jennifer

Joan Mazak has been the proverbial fairy godmother for thousands of Colorado children after she founded the organization in 1983. She started it in honor of her daughter, Jennifer, who died at 7 years old of a liver disease.

Mazak recalled how, about a week before Jennifer’s death, she was granted an uno cial wish to meet local radio mascot KIMN Chicken. He stopped by the family’s house, walking around the entire property hand-in-hand with Jennifer. Many of the neighborhood children stopped by to see KIMN Chicken, but he was focused on making Jennifer feel special.

“It was great for her to be able to have that,” Mazak said.

After Jennifer’s death, Mazak used funds that people had raised for a liver donation to start Make-A-Wish

Colorado. ere were only three other chapters in the country and no national organization yet, she said. e local chapter was all volunteers working out of their homes, helping to create memories for children who needed them. Mazak said the very rst wish was to catch a sh, so they set up a shing trip at Dillon Reservoir.

Longtime volunteer Gary Aboussie recalled wishes to meet the pope and the Broncos. One of his favorite stories was sending a guitar to Bruce Springsteen to sign, him keeping that one, and sending back his own guitar instead with a special message. Mazak said of wishes: “ ey come in all shapes and sizes. ere are so many logistics to putting together a single wish. It’s di erent for every single family.”

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About 20 years ago, Make-A-Wish Colorado started partnering with local schools for Wish Week fundraisers. Mazak said it’s been a winwin situation, as it helps instill philanthropy in the students and raises money for their sick peers. Plus, she always loves seeing schools’ creative fundraising methods, like shaving teachers’ heads or taping their principals to the wall.

While nancial contributions are needed, so are volunteers.

Aboussie described how meeting Make-A-Wish children and their families “touches your mind and heart.” So, he works to help however he can — whether that’s serving on the board of directors or speaking at events.

“(Volunteering) shows you how much more there is to do,” he said. “… We can’t stop the problems, but we can ease the e orts and give the child something to dream about when they’re going through the possibly the most di cult time of their life.”

Both Aboussie and Mazak stressed how much these children and their families need “a sense that there will be a better tomorrow,” as Aboussie described it. ey said these children also need to feel normal after feeling di erent during their formative years.

Hope and normalcy

Castle Rock’s Jack Rodell, 8, might be a little shy, except when it comes to talking about the best day of his life.

On Nov. 14, Jack was the guest of honor at a Colorado Avalanche game. He described the entire day in detail, saying he met the players, got his own jersey and more.

Jack, who wants to be a professional hockey player when he grows up, was diagnosed with leukemia but has been in remission for two years. His wish was delayed because of COVID-19.