Appreciating our dads

If I did not already appreciate my dad, and other dads, last week was a good lesson in not taking them for granted.

In what could be labeled as a terrible rotten no good very bad day — my dad was put in the hospital with an infection that is now in his bloodstream. en, later in the day, I learned that a man I grew up around and worked with as a young journalist committed suicide, leaving behind two children and several grandchildren.

While the two of them have completely di erent circumstances – both of them matter to a lot of people, including me.

In both instances — they are good guys who got me thinking about the burdens the dads, especially the old-timers, tend to carry.

Starting with my dad — he’s Mr. Rough and Tough on the outside, but inside — he is a big softie. He spends mornings giving our dogs treats. Believe me, they line up waiting. My kids call him the Sugar King because he’s always got some kind of candy or cake ready for distribution to the grandchildren.

On June 9, I went from planning to write my regular tribute to my dad, with whom I have always had a close relationship, to re ecting on how important he truly is to me, my family and, of course, let’s not forget my dogs.

He does not want to be in the hospital — we have no idea when he will be released. We know it’s serious. We know he’s heavily medicated.

He had pains for several days but did not want to be a burden and, following suit with his generation, didn’t want to get treated or help. We, of course, made him go in.

His spirits are good and as we sit anxiously waiting to know if treatments are taking hold each day — I pray that on Father’s Day, he will spend it in his recliner at home with me. ey see the worst of our society, from domestic violence to crimes, fatal car crashes and more. Until recently, they have been taught to tuck feelings away, and hide what they are going through.

For my friend — he won’t be here this year to be appreciated by his children. Instead, he is gone. He was a police o cer with whom I worked with many times. He stepped in and helped on several occasions when my oldest brother did not always make the best decisions in his teenage years.

For my other brother, he gave a bit more insight into why he may have decided to commit suicide. My brother, who used to be a highway patrolman, told a story where he came to a scene to provide backup and there was our friend beaten within an inch of his life. My brother got him help.

After that, his storied career as a police o cer was over, he retired and spent many years dealing with PTSD, trying to overcome depression. A battle too often lost in our society today.

You see, we are so quick to villainize o cers today without knowing what they see and go through daily. My brother, also a father, does not have PTSD from his days serving in the U.S. Air Force. Instead, his demons all come from his days of serving in law enforcement.

After all, most of the dads and grandfathers in our society are taught that they must have some rough, tough exterior to lead their families, work and earn.

For me, this Father’s Day, I say we should all push for them to get help. In my dad’s case, realize it’s not a bother to take you for treatment. For others, it’s not something to be ashamed of to say, “Today, I need help.” elma Grimes is the south metro editor for Colorado Community Media.

To all fathers — remember we know you are human. Be willing to accept that yourselves.

LINDA SHAPLEY Publisher lshapley@coloradocommunitymedia.com

MICHAEL DE YOANNA

Editor-in-Chief michael@coloradocommunitymedia.com