Know before saying ‘no’

There is an old saying, “If you don’t ask, you don’t get” or, “If you don’t ask, the answer will always be no.”

Many times these are associated with salespeople who stopped short of asking their prospect for the order or fail to ask for critical information or an immediate next step. However, these sayings hold true for all of us.

For some, asking comes very naturally. We understand the consequences of not asking so we are always bold enough to speak up, knowing that fortune favors the bold. en there are others of us who have a deeply rooted fear of rejection so asking for something, anything requires us to summon our courage before breaking out into a cold sweat while meekly and nervously uttering out our question. ere is also something else at play here when it comes to hearing the word “no,” or being refused a request. Some people are so tired and burnt out that the word “no” has become their rst response to everything. Even the simplest of asks or tasks is met with resistance. e smallest requests are seen as monumental hills to climb. e thinking is that the person making such a request clearly has no idea just how much work this is going to require or how di cult it will be.

Saying “no” for some folks has become an art form, they can say “no” and still have the person who asked walk away feeling good. Others may subscribe to the philosophy of saying “no” to everything as fast as possible so others will stop asking them for anything. e rst word out of their mouth is literally always “no.”

Here’s the thing, sometimes we get so

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THELMA GRIMES South Metro Editor tgrimes@coloradocommunitymedia.com

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LINDSAY NICOLETTI Operations/ Circulation Manager lnicoletti@coloradocommunitymedia.com conditioned to saying “no” that it really has become our rst response instead of rst taking the time to learn more, so we know what it is that we are really saying “no” to or refusing to do. I do believe in saying “no” to more of the things we shouldn’t be doing so that we can say “yes” to more of the things we should or could be doing. However, not at the expense of missing an opportunity to get done what needs to get

If you are leading a team, you probably wouldn’t want them to stop coming to you with questions. If you are a part of a team, you also wouldn’t want to be left out of opportunities to collaborate and problem solve. And any parent certainly wouldn’t want their child to stop coming to them with questions or requests, instead, just taking actions into their own hands and dealing with the consequences later. When the “no” monster inside of us is unleashed, we invite contempt and disharmony in any relationship.

Years ago, I had a coworker named Frank. Frank would say “no” to everything at rst. But not for the reasons mentioned above or that you might be thinking. He taught me one of the greatest lessons of my life when it came to decision-making relative to both the person asking for something and the person being asked.

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