SHERIFF’S CALLS

Deputies alerted to the situation tried to hand Spokesman a citation for disorderly conduct, and when he refused to accept it they secured the ticket under his windshield wiper. Ornery to the bitter end, Spokesman “crumpled up” the citation and began “wiping his backside with it.” Spokesman further asserted that he “makes more money” than JCSO deputies, and then asked them for a “mustache ride.” O cers “respectfully declined” that request and hung chilly until the disa ected diners departed.

Sheri ’s Calls is intended as a humorous take on some of the incident call records of the Je erson County Sheri ’s O ce for the mountain communities. Names and identifying details have been changed, including the writer’s name, which is a pseudonym. All individuals are innocent until proven guilty.