Navigating the acute disruption of change

Irecently worked with a nine-yearold male-presenting client who had one of the most unique dispositions I have seen in a long time. I believe a primary contributing factor to his brilliant ability to connect was this:

My client was allowed thirty minutes each week of personal screen time for gaming and connecting with friends, and only on the weekends (not including school work).

Notice what you’re doing at this moment. Can you name the reaction(s) you’re having as you read the above sentence? How does this idea resonate with you? How would the notion of the choice to restrict your children’s access to devices — impact your life and that of your children?

I share his story here because if you’re a parent, you may be feeling the acute disruption of the transitions with the season: school is out for the summer, school start times are changing for the fall, and the weather is more changeable than it has been in recent years.

Continuing on with the story: my virtual sessions with my client focused initially on building trust and rapport, and as we did, he let me into the world of the green space behind his parents’ home. My client, it turned out, was quite an explorer of that world beyond the low stone wall.

He came alive in the most animated and focused way as he shared all he knew from his adventure with his older siblings into the natural world. He could name an abundance of creepy crawlers, ying insects, beetles, caterpillars, small mammals, birds and larger wildlife that roamed the forest and meadow.

He told me he was an avid treeclimber, and taught me how he scoped, then clambered into the crooks of the various trees. He could name many plants and the types of trees. is was his world.

I came to understand that his anxiety was a result of his di culty relating to the kids in his class. His discomfort was that his classmates had little or no connection whatsoever to the natural world around them. ey literally could not relate to my client. He was the only one who had a keen understanding of, not only the green space he could so easily step into each